#PHEWWE

[tojiscrack]

HELLO WIFEY IM BACK.

before i go to our regularly scheduled shitbag content, LETS TAKE A MOMENT FOR THE NEW CHAPTER OF LIAR LIAR???

HELLO I LOVED IT SMMMMMM

I AM SO GLAD THAT GOJO CLOCKED SUKUNA'S TEA! i cannot wait to see the future dynamics that come from this

ALSO Y/N SITTING ON GOJO'S SHOULDERS IS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT

i was also so grateful to not have to read kamo speak in this chapter. brought me much joy. even tho Y/N'S BITCH ASS WAS SPENDING TOO MCUH TIME WITH HIM.

but i was very glad that megumi is starting to show more interest in her semi romantically.

now if you tear this away from me, i will hunt you down and shiv you when you least expect it.

for legal reasons, this is a joke.

I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!!

now back to our regularly schedule programming.

'like you seem sceptical but it’s not BAD 😫'

uh huh... sure... tbf i dont like beans

'i’ve never tried a desi breakfast ☹️ but i don’t doubt that it tastes great! it looks really good too 👀'

it's so yummy

'DON’T BE SURPRISED WHEN I SLIDE INTO UR DMS INTERROGATING YOU ABOUT THE AMERICAN GRADING SYSTEM 😫🫶🏽'

YES OMGGGGGGG I GOTCHUUUU

'but i just don’t think shin ramen is for me'

NONONO U CANT MIX THINGS UP THE FIRST TIME U TRY IT!!!

lemme put u onto a recipe

so, ur gonna just cook the noodles from the shin ramen with about a cup and a half of water. then, ur gonna take a bit of that water and add it to some peanut butter. hey hey hey stay with me now. trust my process. then, mix in the seasoning packet. and then add it to the noodles and let it simmer for a tiny bit of time. AND THEN BAM. banger noodles.

'ok but we also know that kay comes into my inbox every other day to chat shit about you 🌝'

this is the most british sentence ive seen in my life BUT YES U ARE RIGHT

'me personally, i think you should cut him off completely 😬 block button is free + he has a gf so i think just out of respect for that (even if he himself doesn’t respect that) you should do ur part by untangling urself from any of that 🫡'

see the issue here is, before we had our situationship, he was my guy best friend. and we have MANY mutual friends and are in tons of gc together. it just wouldn't work out to block him. thats the rlly annoying part.

'HOW IS HE EVEN PULLING YOU AND THAT OTHER GIRL?? 😭'

I HAVE NO CLUE. IT'S TERRIBLE

'start ur life anew (without him) and let him wonder how his life would’ve been sm better with you in it if he had treated you right and been a better person 😋'

I WISH BRO

'i’d hate to see how you’d behave with a girl you DON’T like 💀'

lowk bro acts the same LMAOOO

also i realized this today but part of the reason why i think he didnt tell me ab him and his ex getting back tgth is he knew i HATED his ex LMAOOO

'however, you should never rely on a man for his money, being financially dependent is a necessity'

oh of course not queen. i am a cs baddie on the rise. we both go to a college prep school. relying on him for money was never an option 😋😋😋😋

'everyone’s too busy caring about themselves to do anything about it :)'

our grade is so tiny we have nothing better to do than talk ab other ppl i fear....

and when i say our grade is tiny, i mean it. like most public schools have graduating classes of like

ehh 500 or so.

our graduating class is going to be 70 people.

'not until you wipe ur mouth from that indirect kiss from that THING you call a man 😐'

I STARTED CACKLING HELLO

'tojis bumcrack ‘cause i find that hilarious HAHAHA 😭😭'

YES OMG THATS WHAT I WAS HOPING IT WAS

'‘cause we’re exchanging cute nicknames but then he’s come back to ruin it :/'

i think shitbag for u in my asks is like kamo for me in ur story 😋😋😋

'DO NOT INVITE HIM TO UR PARTY 🌝'

THE ISSUE IS IVE TOLD HIM AB IT A LOT....

so the new shitbag lore is that

in a gc i have w him and some of my close friends, i was complaining about not having a bf and how i want one so bad.

and i get a call. i do not see who it is. i assume it's my mother bc it's late at night and i'm making too much noise. i answer the phone.

it's shit bag.

he turns the call into a ft and screenshares our school's directory, asking me what i think of every guy on the thing.

i think he's trying to set me up with one of them.

we narrow it down to the only two guys in my grade i'd consider being even slightly attracted to.

he decides to add a third guy to this list.

for this, there is more lore u must know.

back when me and shitbag were just bsfs, i rlly liked one of shitbag's friends. lets call him niceguy. niceguy, like his name, was rlly nice and rlly funny. and i've known him since 2nd grade bc we went to the same elementary and middle school.

and i started liking niceguy this summer bc i worked with him at a summercamp. it was lots of fun. and i ended up inviting him to my bday party and he came and we got a picture tgth which ended up being rlly cute.

i would talk to shitbag a lot ab niceguy, asking for advice and shit.

and then one day, i am looking through my phone. and at this point, we had our homecoming dance within 2 weeks of the present day. and i was rlly hoping niceguy would ask me bc we texted a lot and talked a lot in person. and a lot of ppl rlly thought he might like me back.

but as i'm going through instagram, i see his story is him, one of my not so close friends, and a hoco proposal sign.

i am torn. i am distraught. i have a 4 hour ft call with shitbag to discuss it.

and niceguy and the friend i'm not so close with start dating from that day forward.

after a month or so, they break up.

and that is why, shitbag wants me to add niceguy back to the list.

where was i going with this? uhhhh... oh right. so shitbag ended up fting me for too damn long going through our directory.

and then i told him i was gonna go sleep (WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD OF BC WHEN I LIKED HIM, I WOULD STAY UP AND FT WHENEVER HE ASKED AND WOULD WAIT TIL HE WANTED TO SLEEP LMAOO)

and i havent texted him since!

now, on better news. i am currently replaying mystic messenger. i do not know if u know this game but i played it when iw as 13 and i am feeling very nostalgic as of late so i had to hop back on the game. i am having much fun and i think this is part of the reason why i havent been texting shitbag back.

god bless for fictional men!

anyways how is your life going wifey?

i think this may be the last of the shitbag updates so shorter asks coming soon!

LMAOOO

bye pookie

HI HI HELLO <3

‘I AM SO GLAD THAT GOJO CLOCKED SUKUNA'S TEA!’ — can you tell i’m a very biased gojo stan? 😋‼️ sukuna lovers are in enemy territory rn i’m jk, like yeah i hate that thing with a PASSION, but idc if you love no-neck-ed LMAOO

‘ALSO Y/N SITTING ON GOJO'S SHOULDERS IS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT’ — i HAD to implement dadjo in the series bc as much as his relationship with the characters in canon was more like a fun older brother looking out for his students, he’s so father coded, specifically during the exchange event in s1 of jjk 😫 like his behaviour was sooo embarrassing-dad-supporting-his-kids (and the fit looked delicious like yum yum i’m eating well tonight 😁)

‘i was also so grateful to not have to read kamo speak in this chapter. brought me much joy’ — HELP HE’S JUST A GUY WITH A CRUSH 😭 the kamo hate is so funny yet i feel so bad for him 💀 but keep ‘em coming, it still lowkey brings me joy HAHAHA

‘even tho Y/N'S BITCH ASS WAS SPENDING TOO MCUH TIME WITH HIM’ — girl any more of the y/n criticism from you and i’m gonna start to think you hate our poor mc 🫵🏽😟🫷🏽

but just to be clear, it was just a tutoring session with kamo. they weren’t hanging-out-hanging-out, iygwim?

‘if you tear this away from me, i will hunt you down and shiv you when you least expect it’ — 🌝

i’ve been keeping my windows and doors locked SINCE the malakai hate train started a couple months ago, ‘cause i knew that if that poor emo kid was getting hate ‘cause of a random ANON who started shipping him and y/n (they’ve still yet to reveal themselves 🤨) then the kamo hate would rise astronomically from the very same ppl 😭

now with that threat, i humbly remind you of the ‘angst’ tag 🌝 no comment on anything after that

‘for legal reasons, this is a joke’ — i sURE HOPE SO??? 😭

‘I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!!’ — IAISNWISNWIEJ ME TOO, but unfortunately, at some point from here and up until june, there are gonna be super slow updates :( i’ll address that another time tho! <3

now for the rest of the askkk :)

there’s a problem with ur shin ramen recipe…

i am (unfortunately) a very picky eater. and i hate peanut butter ☹️ but you probably already guessed that with the ‘hey hey hey stay with me now’ 🥴 i’m sorry, peanut butter is vile

shin ramen is just not for me ig 🥲

now as for shitbag… ik you mention that you guys have mutual friends and are in several gc’s tgth, so maybe blocking him is just not possible here, but giving him clipped responses when he texted and declining face-times is very much possible, i believe 😁 get away from that sad excuse of a human being kay, PLS

like you can text him when he texts you first (the italics here are important) but make sure they’re very simple responses, nothing he can use as an opportunity to build on. and 4hr face-times are a nO NO.

absolutely no.

he has a gf, you are not his gf, and even if you DESPISE who he’s currently with, be the better person and leave it 😭

there! problem solved! 😋

‘also i realised this today but part of the reason why i think he didnt tell me ab him and his ex getting back tgth is he knew i HATED his ex’ — hmmm, this tells me a lot about him already 💀 i’m sorry kay, i do NOT like this imposter who-entered-earth-without-a-visa 😐

‘I STARTED CACKLING HELLO’ — HAHAHA 😭 i’m dead serious. i don’t like that guy. i even feel like ‘shitbag’ as a name for him is a compliment, if anything.

‘i think shitbag for u in my asks is like kamo for me in ur story😋😋😋’ — FREEZE 🤨🤚🏽

i don’t not support kamo hate, but i don’t support it either. and yet, this one sentence is the only kamo-hate-sentence that lowkey has me tweaking.

do not compare our respectful-nonchalant-dreadhead-kamo to that bin-juice-of-a-human-being-SHITBAG. EVER 🤢

‘so the new shitbag lore is that’ — STOP ✋🏽 HALT 🛑

did i forget to mention that i DETEST shitbag with my whole entire being?

‘and then i told him i was gonna go sleep (WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD OF BC WHEN I LIKED HIM, I WOULD STAY UP AND FT WHENEVER HE ASKED AND WOULD WAIT TIL HE WANTED TO SLEEP LMAOO)’ — CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 🥳 WE LOVE TO SEE IT

ok good, you’re not longer texting that unique-breed-of-human-kind, got my first point out of the way real quick. don’t ever text him unless he texts you

secondly, niceguy’s available. probably the only thing i agree with shitbag with. you should get with niceguy :)

my personal opinion that i have rooted to the core is to stay single forever and ever, marry fictional men and die in love with them, ‘cause that’s been my plan for as long as i can remember and look at me: no situationships, no drama, no SHITBAGS 🤭

‘now, on better news’ — YESSS

‘i do not know if you know this game’ — i’m not aware of it. even when i looked it up, i was a little confused haha. i was a moviestarplanet, stardoll, baby hazel, moshi monsters, bin weevils, purble place, club penguin, sarah’s cooking class, papa’s freezeria, pizzaria, hotdogaria (etc), roblox girly through and through 🥴

but i am super glad you are starting to find enjoyable things to look back on that take you away from the negative doom-cloud that is shitbag! 😙 idek you irl but that genuinely makes me so happy for youuuu <3

‘god bless for fictional men!’ — ameen 🌝

‘anyways how is your life going wifey?’ — ugh, don’t even get me started 😀 i’m living vicariously through you, honestly 😭

‘i think this may be the last of the shitbag updates so shorter asks coming soon!’ — THEY CAN STILL BE LONG, I LOVE HEARING ABOUT UR DAY AND STUFF AND GETTING TO KNOW YOU, but i’m glad shitbag will no longer be the centre of our conversations (literally who does he think he is, starring as a mc in MY blog)

I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAYYY ;)

[yrsonpurpose]

Shut up and kiss me.

[anpanmann]

countdown to hobi’s return

d-9 ♡ mic drop ✦ love yourself: speak yourself in osaka

[valensw]

[coffee-bard]

A whole bunch of my recent bust commissions!! :3

[storiesoflilies]

mdni, mild smut!

gladiator!toji did not know where he was.

he had been trapped someplace the gods had forsaken, somewhere his merciless master – ryomen sukuna – had sent him as punishment. all he knew was that the desert heat here was sweltering, searing his mind in lies, and making him dream of things that had already happened long ago.

dreams that he wanted to stay in.

the sweet perfume of her scent trickled through his nose, a mixture of roses and jasmine, half waking him from the haze he had been in. it would have been torturous, were she not here with him now, roped between his bronze arms like she had melded into him. little rivulets of her spent wetness trickled down the curve of his thigh, a reminder of what they had done in the night, and toji’s cock twitched beneath the worn sheets.

she stirred in her sleep, as if touched by the burning fire in his blood.

gods.

describing her as just beautiful was not nearly enough.

toji kissed her hairline, one calloused hand tenderly rubbing her forearm to slowly rouse her from the depths of sleep.

she was the morning dewdrops clinging to the curved underside of a blade of grass, glistening with all the hopes that came with every new day. he loved the smell of it when he woke every morning, rubbed his skin with it, tasted its crisp freshness on his tongue to awake the thundering resonance in his battered soul.

he placed a trail of wet kisses down the side of her face, sweeping her jawline and the edge of her lips.

she was the soothing touch of rose petals and milk, the hummingbirds that flew between the blooms of spring. the very stars and moonlight of the heavens was in her eyes, but he had not known how to read the constellations hidden within them.

toji turned her slowly, hungrily pressing his hips into the plush curve of her behind, letting his desire be plainly known.

she smiled, honey dripping from between her lips as she whispered, “insatiable.”

toji moaned into her mouth, his heavy cock slipping in between her puffy lips. “let me have you.”

but he knew now how to read the skies.

her stars taught him to fear, and that love was fear.

she turned to him, swinging her legs over his midriff, sensually kissing his chest as rain fell to bloom an oasis in the desert. her back arched just as the light of daybreak shone through the bars of the cell, bathing her in gold and sunlight.

…daybreak?

her eyes sparked and blazed into a maroon firestorm, burning him in tempestuous uncertainty.

she never stayed so long with me.

“wake up, fushiguro,” she breathed shakily, a tone deeper, her hands gripping his shoulders and shaking him like palm trees quivering in a sandstorm.

wake up?

“fushiguro, for the love of all the gods, wake up!”

her hair shifted and warped into a snowy desert, sifting through his fingers like the passage of time in an hourglass. toji opened his eyes once more, emeralds tumbling down a mountainside, and blinked once, twice, three times more.

gladiator!tengen had a harsh grip on his shoulders, a red fury misting his eyes with determination.

“come now, i’m here to take you home.”

©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.

[messylustt]

credit to @RamenDoodlesArt

him with a tie and glasses—

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

love the idea of ness being physically strong . love it so so much . your loyal guard dog bf who treats you like an angel and looks sweet enough that catcallers don’t expect it when he absolutely wrecks their shit

[pealooza]

dead man's party

[mercutiosometimes]

How do you make your hair so luscious, asking for a friend

5 hair care

"in my defense, the haircuts were an improvement."

[alinadraws02]

Digital painting (5) - Snow ❄️

The reference was a photo I took 2 weeks ago in Brașov, Romania, while it was snowing quite heavily.

[semisolidmind]

congrats on finally escaping college!!

thank you llama, it's nice to be out

[velvetart01]

sorry for the delay!

close ups

[nabhx]

Ty official winx club Instagram account. Very cool.

Almost exactly 15 years since you exploded him, like genuinely posted the day before. Insane behaviour actually (of me, knowing that)

[jelevision]

“can you zip me up?” “if i must”

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

As this year comes to a close here's hoping for more (I.e. any) Morally grey aroace protagonists in (adult) fiction. Because as much I love Ymir by Rich Larson, I can't just keep reading one book over and over again. I'm starving for Dirtbag Aces in media.