#serious bi panic here

[yrsonpurpose]

Shut up and kiss me.

[lilacsandpetals]

Frozen Blossoms Pt. 5

Bi-Han x F! reader

Tags and notes: Arranged marriage AU, SFW, exploring emotions. Pre-MK1/MK1 AU

Last part here.

Next part here.

I hope I caught all the spelling and grammar errors.

You went back to bed after Bi-Han left. Or at least, you tried to get some sleep. You didn’t realize you’d be so worried for him in that moment. But he would be fine, wouldn’t he? He was Lin Keui after all. Still, irrational as it may be, you were concerned. Even so, the logical part of your brain told you that your husband would return sooner rather than later.

—————

Well, you were wrong. It had been days, almost a week had passed. Your anxiety was growing with each day that went by. You couldn’t comprehend how everyone else seemed at ease. You went about trying to adhere to your regular routine, but at times it was difficult to focus. Remembering simple protocols became difficult. Your execution during training lessons was lackluster. Your instructors had noticed the shift in your performance but you had a suspicion that your father-in-law prevented them from fully reprimanding you as of late.

You longed to reach out to Bi-Han and figure out how he was doing. Yet contact was minimal in order to maintain the confidential and secretive nature of the Lin Keui. The Grandmaster had stated that unless a serious incident had occurred, you were advised to not reach out to your husband. 

You considered going out, perhaps visiting your family. Yet you were advised against doing so at the moment. And to be honest, you were troubled by the idea of Bi-Han returning when you weren’t at home. 

Since when did such a thought bother you so much?

While waiting for the days to go by you realized that you hadn’t gotten to know many individuals around the clan’s grounds. You knew your in-laws. Technically you could be called acquaintances with your tutors and perhaps a few other staff and clan members. If Bi-Han was going to become the Grandmaster and you would stand by his side, you figured establishing a good rapport with as many clan members as possible would prove helpful. So you had begun to venture about the estate, greeting individuals you’ve yet to put a name to. Most would be respectful, but brief as they had responsibilities they needed to attend to, and you assumed your chatting would be a bit burdensome. 

A good number of the other clan members were married, and you had run into their spouses here and there. You didn’t mean to, but the more you spoke with some of them, you ended up working into the conversation how you were worried the longer your husband was off on a mission. They always responded with assurance, that the feeling was normal, and that it would fade the more you got used to it. But here you are, sometime later with the same tension constricting your chest to the point that you’d wake up in a panic in the middle of the night. 

If you had known that you’d have to endure such loneliness and worry regularly, would you have agreed to the marriage? Well, even if you had known, you doubt that the full gravity of the lifestyle would dawn on you back then. And frankly, denying the betrothal request would cause tension and misfortune in your family’s clan. So really, you wouldn’t have had a choice either way. 

You decide not to dwell on that too much and glance at the books at your bedside. You were quickly getting through the stack. Especially since you had only recently begun spending time with your husband, and once you two had spent proper time with one another, he was called away. Reading had then become a solace of sorts from the loneliness. Maybe you could get some new books soon? Your eyes then drift to the flowers, they were starting to wither.

Would Bi-Han get you new flowers? Would he accompany you to the market? You wonder when he’ll be back. Maybe you two could spend some time together again.

Goodness, here you go again. Since that day you spent together, you had gotten into a habit of somehow circling nearly all your thoughts back to him. What was wrong with you? Had your husband really planted a place so firmly in your heart?

In truth, he has, and his absence makes your heart ache. You feel like a forlorn, lovesick teenager. 

A sigh escapes you as you fall back onto your bed. Your hand makes its way to his pillow, snatching it from its untouched spot and into your arms. You hug it close to your chest. 

Bi-Han truly wasn’t as bad as you thought he was. You did consider him a brute at first, but your interactions slowly started to break down that constructed image you had of him. Yes, he was stern, he could be blunt, and avoidant. But he had begun to show a side of himself you found endearing. He could appear so contemplative and protective. He was always so gentle when holding your hand. You even missed his prideful banter. 

And you missed catching glimpses of his eyes. They had gone from a shade too ominous and void, to something entirely warmer. Dark and enchanting.

You took a deep breath, squeezing the pillow a little closer to you. He kissed your forehead before he left and you still linger on that action of his. You wonder if he’d kiss your cheek when he comes back. 

You ghost your fingertips over your lips. You wonder what his lips taste like. 

—————-

The mission had proved exhausting, every time they came upon a point of completion, they’d be met with more strife brewing elsewhere. To the point where Lui Kang required their consistent assistance and they had ended up all the way in Outworld, dealing with a small group whose practice in stirring up trouble had spilled into Earthrealm. Of course, Lui Kang had kept the peace during the ordeal and resolved any issues with the aid of Empress Sindel. But this wasn’t the first time that a situation like this had occurred, and he assumed it wouldn’t be the last. Pursuing consistent negotiations for the sake of peace sometimes began to feel futile to him.

On occasion, he wished they could take a more aggressive approach to assert their stance.  

Then there was the issue of brewing tensions between surrounding clans, disagreements amongst them, and some disdain still lingered over his marriage to you. Of course, he hadn't brought that up to you, nor does he intend to. There would be no reason to stress you out over matters he could quickly stomp out on his own. 

Despite all these occurrences, and his outward dedication to addressing them, these neverending missions had been dethroned at the forefront of his mind more often than he was willing to admit. You had been running through his mind all week. The thought of you had been distracting him and while he was on a mission no less. 

Detestable of him really.

Had this happened weeks ago he would want to return home to wring your neck for causing him to lose focus. But it was different now. 

He found it enjoyable to think of you. 

It gave him something to look forward to. Someone to return home to. 

He wondered if you had eaten properly, if you had rested enough, had you kept up with your training? 

Did you miss him?… he missed you. He missed your playfulness, he missed your gentleness, he missed how increasingly lovely you had looked before he left. He felt as if he had grown closer to you before his departure. Would he be able to pick up where he left off with you? 

He hopes so. 

So as the group makes their way back under his lead, he can't help but find himself pondering. He wonders what would’ve happened that night if he didn’t have to leave. For the first time in a long time, he wishes he hadn’t left at all. 

He wonders if you realized how enticing you looked. With eyes looking up at him so innocently at the veranda, and lips that looked oh so soft. Or when you had laid down in the bed. Did you not realize how effortlessly alluring you looked? Your hair tousled, your nightgown bunching up at the curve of your hips and exposing part of your thigh. He really can only imagine what else could have happened that night if he had been more forward. It’s laughable that the only time he is unable to advance forward is when it comes to you. 

Consummating the marriage had still been a thought that seldom crossed his mind, but now it had started to creep up frequently. Oddly enough, had you two made use of the marriage bed that first night, he would’ve found it easier to complete that responsibility. He would be detached, acting upon crude necessity. 

Again, it was different now. 

Now there were emotions that entangled him. Concerns on whether his performance would live up to your unknown expectations. Worries about how you’d respond to his touch. Perturbation on how it would change him. It was all uncharted territory. 

He didn’t have an extensive insight into matters of that kind. His experience in that area was somewhat lacking. 

He honestly never gave it much thought, he was always too focused on his responsibilities and any tasks at hand to be caught up in lust to the extent of seeking it out at the risk of his honor. Had he struggled at all in the past, he’d take care of it himself. That is how he went about it as an adult.

His responsibilities within the Lin Keui came first, as they always have. Or at least he would attempt to adhere to that standard. He found himself faltering to maintain that status quo when he was young. 

Although discouraged, it was known that sometimes members of the Lin Keui would sneak off to a nearby brothel and ‘fulfill their needs’. When he was younger, curiosity had gotten the best of him and his brothers, leading them to sneak off just to see what all the excitement was about. They had just barely infiltrated the establishment through a side entrance when they were promptly caught, kicked out, and sent home to a furious father who had punished them all severely. 

Other than that, there was a point long ago where Kuai Liang had convinced him to sneak out and meet a few girls during the Qixi Festival. Kuai Liang had an easier time interacting with them, while he himself was more reserved. And then Tomas had tagged along. Tomas appeared much younger at the time compared to Kuai Liang and himself, so the girls found him ‘adorable’ as they had put it. He didn’t see the point in entertaining them at that time. One of the girls there did take a liking to him, she looked visually pleasing. She kept trying to hold his attention but he barely kept up conversation as chatter spewed out of her mouth in an attempt to keep him engaged. She even kissed him at the end of the night. It felt awkward and she had secured a strong hold on his neck, he hesitated to place his hands on her but kissed back as best as he knew how. However, he pulled away when he felt her tongue poke at his lips. He attempted to maintain his composure until they departed that evening. On his way home with his brothers, he frequently wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. All those love stories his mother and Kuai Liang would go on about made it seem like a first kiss was a life-changing experience. They were clearly wrong as that had not changed his life for the better. Kuai Liang teased him, saying that he was better with the girls, meanwhile, Tomas lamented that he hadn’t gotten any such tokens of affection. 

Now that was all the experience he had recalled. It made him wonder what your past was like. He tries not to think of it, but the thought that you may have had romantic interactions in the past made him burn with envy. 

If you had past lovers, he would make sure to surpass them in every manner.

—————-

Kuai Liang and Tomas know their brother. He is cold and harsh in nature, much like the power he was blessed with. But they are quick to catch Bi-Han smiling to himself when he thinks no one is watching. 

—————-

They stop at a village on the trek home. Bi-Han is not such a cruel leader that he’d push his forces so far when the mission has already been completed. He allows them an opportunity to catch their breath. The stop is brief and he rests against the brick wall of a building. His eyes scan his surroundings when they come to a halt. Kuai Liang and Tomas seem preoccupied. He cannot tell what they are speaking about, so he makes his way to them.

“What about that one?” Tomas says.

“No, I’ve already bought this one. This suits her best.” Kuai Liang responds. 

Bi-Han furrows his eyebrows, who were they speaking about? “What did you buy?” 

Kuai Liang smiles and holds up a golden hairpin, “the red jewel at the center reminds me of Harumi, fierce and passionate, I’m sure she’ll like it.” 

Tomas smiles “Always the romantic.”

Bi-Han eyes the gift briefly. Was he supposed to get you something as well? What color did you even like? He regrets not asking you before. 

There’s a slight shame that emerges within him, he has failed to get to know you well within these past weeks. He will have to atone for his shortcomings. 

So he slips away; just briefly to examine whatever the shop has to offer. His eyes travel over the array of pieces, trailing over them all until he sees a simple silver chain harboring a blue jewel in its center. Blue was his choice of color, but it simultaneously reminded you of him, calm and sincere.

Before he knows it, he’s made the purchase and he continues on his way. 

—————-

The sun has begun its descent and the moon begins to rise in its place. And so another day has passed without your husband. Or so you had thought. You had returned to your room after a meal. Rummaging through your belongings to pull out a woven shawl. The seasons have begun to shift and so the once manageable cold of the locale has become quite unbearable. You finally locate one suitable to your needs and toss it onto your bed. Now if you could only find warmer nightwear. 

“Wife.”

The sound startles you and you quickly stand to your feet. When had he returned? You weren’t expecting him at this moment. You finally get a good look at him as he stands in the doorway. He is handsome as always. His mask is off, and he appears stoic. Yet you catch a look in his eyes that comes off as a mix of weary and longing. You want to hug him, should you? Would he reciprocate it? You don’t know. So you fail to move forward and instead shoot him a small smile, “Bi-Han, I’m glad you’re home.”

“As am I.”

His body is crying out in exhaustion, all he wants to do is unwind, but the eagerness to show you his gift takes precedence over that. His hand searches through his pocket to pull out a silver chain adorned with a gem of sapphire. He motions for you to come to the front of the mirror and you oblige. “Try this on.” He carefully places the necklace in your hands and you attempt to get it on, but the hook is giving you trouble. Your husband waits but a few moments before taking the two ends of the necklace within his fingers. You slide your hair to the side, so he’s better able to hook the chain. His fingers are cold against your warm skin and he leans in slightly, making his breath tickle the back of your neck. Your shoulders slightly tense. When the necklace is secure his hands move to rest by the crook of your neck, looking at your reflection in the mirror. He’s never touched you there before.

The shade of blue suits you. You hold the jewel between your thumb and index finger briefly, smiling at your reflection. It rested just at the valley between your breasts. The way your chest rose and fell as you breathed only exuded a greater sense of allure to him. You were focused on the necklace, so much so that you were caught off guard when he bent down and quickly placed a kiss on the side of your neck. “You look good,” he mumbled just barely above a whisper. He quickly turns around and makes his way out the door. You would go after him but you felt frozen in place, your cheeks heating up, and your heart beating hard. 

——————

He didn’t even mean to do that. But your skin felt so soft, your fragrance hinted at scents of lotuses and lilies. The dim lighting illuminated your exposed skin in such a way that it ignited something within him, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to fully act on it. 

So he flees the scene and pushes away any thoughts of embarrassment. His body is used to brutal conditions, but even he longs for undisturbed relaxation on rare occasions. Despite his cryomancy, he is keen on a hot bath. The warm water is soothing to his aching muscles and welcoming to his pains. He lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes. He hopes you like the necklace, it’s not much but it is something. He hasn’t had the desire to shower anyone with gifts before, but you may be slowly changing his mind. 

The sound of a hesitant knock pulls him out of his state of relaxation. He snaps his head towards the private bathhouse's entrance. You stand there tentatively in the doorway. “What are you doing here? Go back to your room, now,” he scolds.

The steam emanating from the hot water twirls around the room, keeping the image of one another rather obscured. 

“You didn’t close the door all the way and I heard the water running,” you say sheepishly. “I was going to ask if you wanted help. I can tell you’re tired.” You just wanted to be around him, he left quickly, and he took longer than you anticipated to return. You yearned to satiate your loneliness. 

He was tired, but he wouldn’t say it. “How would you even help me?”

“I can wash your hair,” you respond and lean up against the frame of the entrance. You hope he accepts your offer. 

Bi-Han contemplates it for a moment, he supposes it would save him the hassle… and he did long for your presence. “Fine, you may enter, but watch your eyes.” You stifle a laugh as you walk forward. “What do you find so amusing?” he asks with an annoyed expression. “Nothing, nothing.” He had no reason to worry, you wouldn’t peak. You pull up a chair and sit behind him. “Lean back a bit, please.” He heeds your request and you begin massaging his scalp with the needed products.

Now this was relaxing. He did feel rather self-conscious earlier. He was taking a bath so he was entirely exposed, but that worry melted away as your hands worked what he might equate to magic. They were slow and methodical, releasing the tension that constricted his skull. And so he finds himself serene enough to close his eyes once more.  

You’re close to him again, this is probably the longest that you’ve seen him with his hair down. “You look good with your hair down,” you say softly. “Oh, do I?” he responds just above a whisper. You exhale lightly, “you do.” You continue in silence, for how long, you wouldn't know. 

But you do know that you appreciate every second of it. For once, you finally feel at ease. You’ve once again reached that brief moment of domestic bliss. 

You run your fingers through his hair, it’s softer than you thought it’d be. 

Your eyes trail down the sight of his neck and upper back. Scars riddle the skin that is visible to you, some more faint than others. You assume they were obtained in training and battle. In moments like these, the full weight of Lin Keui’s ways bear down on you. There is honor to it, but at a greater cost to oneself. And you know it’s his duty, it’s the way of the clan you married into, yet your heart clenches at the thought of it. 

The scars that adorn his body are many and you can’t help but lean forward to press your fingertips along one. The scar is extensive, nearly a clear cut minus a few jagged edges. Your fingertips graze along the expanse of the mark and you swear you feel him shudder against your touch. 

“Do any of these still hurt?”

“No, none of them.”

“They must have hurt when you got them.”

“Yes, but I am grateful for it.”

You don’t respond, being grateful to retain such pain bewilders you. Bi-Han notices your lack of response. “It taught me discipline and is proof that I’ve survived prior ordeals. That is all.”

You take that as a note not to continue with further questions, at least for now. Your eyes fall to his bicep, “Your wound from last time is healing.” He opens his eyes briefly to glance at his arm before closing them again. “I appreciate your aid that night.” You smile slightly to yourself.

“Lean forward.” Bi-Han obliges and you get a basin of water to wash his hair. His eyes remain closed as you gently pour it on him. His wet hair sticks to the front of his face, obscuring his eyes. The image of such an intimidating man in front of you like this, causes you to let out a laugh.

He moves his hair out from in front of his eyes. He’s about to snap at you and ask what you’re laughing about. Yet he retains a moment of pause. You’re laughing, and it’s the carefree laugh that he’s been yearning for since you two had married. The one you had so openly shared with others. You’ve finally graced him with the pleasure of hearing it on his own. So he doesn’t stop you, instead, he takes hold of your hand and brings your fingertips to his lips. He presses a chaste kiss to them before letting go. 

“Thank you.” He leans forward, crossing his arms and resting against the edge of the tub. 

You smile faintly and sit on the rim of the bathtub. You’re slightly anxious, but work up the courage to hastily move his hair to the side and press a kiss to his forehead in a rather bashful manner. “Thank you for spending time with me.” 

You see his mouth twitch into a smile for a brief second, and you are content. 

The room begins to become even more humid. 

But something is holding you back from leaving, tension has building up in the pit of your stomach and it’s causing your heart to tremble within your chest. So you remain there, inches away from him. 

Your perfume makes him feel dizzy with increasing desire. The world around him begins to fade into silence, and the only thing that he can hear is your shallow breathing. 

Your breath mingles with his. 

And neither one knows who leaned in first.

But his hand rests on the back of your neck and your lips have collided with his. They are rough, tasting like the tea you once shared with him. 

And you’ve never kissed anyone like this before. 

Desperation and longing seep into the way your mouths move against each other. His heart has begun to pound against his ribcage and he wonders if yours has too. Your lips are softer than he could have ever anticipated, and the moment they break away from his, he silently mourns. 

Heat has risen to your cheeks and you look away briefly, smiling to yourself and slowly getting up. “Goodnight Bi-Han.”

He takes a shaky breath. How unlike him. What have you done to him?

 “Goodnight, Y/N.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading 💙

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @jjmoonjj @ailujsenutna @weepingwillowswilly @sadsackssss @isa-gami @leonkennedy27 @darkraven01 @violetisdabest @tazahan @ackersolace @glitterywastelandwasteland @cassiecasluciluce @ghastlyrider @mmeerraa @diormnce @anotherdyedhair @naria18 @oneandonlyizabelle @assasello @chicken-little-but-duck @fandom-garbage

Some of the tags aren't working

[chaosandwolves]

Soooooo

I wasn't too far off with this post

But because we have this

And we know Buck is jealous of Eddie & Tommy bonding

And we have this

and @exolve pointing out the shoe is Eddie's here...

Buck totally body checked Eddie on purpose and he got hurt

(still think he might hit his head cause he looks ok in the loft stills but he might bleed and they think it might be something serious first or his foot/leg cause we can't see them)

So this

is not only Eddie scolding him about spiralling and retreating cause he feels guilty and telling him that he's not mad and that they're ok

but

It's also Eddie telling him that nothing and no one will come between them and change their relationship

And this

is where Eddie pulls him into a hug

But I'm still hoping this whole thing will lead to the

oh

OH

moment

Cause someone has to be like... But WHY are you so angry about it

Wouldn't it be delicious if Tommy talked to him and be like...

Hey man, I won't come between you two, I can see how much he... means to you

But maybe... Talk to him about it?

And Buck first is like...!??????

And then Tommy is like

You know you're in love with your best friend, right? Tell me you know that... !???

And that's how we still can get

✨bi (realization) panic✨

And just as a lil reminder some lyrics of the song bewitched, bothered and bewildered

Men are not a new sensation I've done pretty well I think But this half-pint imitation Put me on the blink

I'm wild again, beguiled again A simpering, whimpering child again

He can laugh, but I love it Although the laugh's on me

I'll sing to him, each spring to him And long for the day when I'll cling to him Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I

Love's the same old sad sensation Lately I've not slept a wink Since this half-pint imitation Put me on the blink

In conclusion

Buddie canon

with Tommy as the catalyst for Buck to realize his feelings for Eddie 😁

[on-leatheredwings]

any hc for male reader x yandere batfam?? any of them will work. also the batboy didn't know he was bi at first (unless you're doing Tim). and the reader is dealing with internalized homophobia?

somethin short n sweet :]

Soft! Older! Yandere! Damian Wayne / Male Reader

> romantic > tw/cw: internalized homophobia, references to violent homophobia > word count: 723 > a/n: just something short and sweet... > male reader can be cis or trans

"Study with me," is what Damian Wayne says, before placing a pile of books on your already-crowded table.

His clean cut appearance contrasts with the hipster, rustic interior of your favorite cafe. It’s not really his scene, as far as you’re aware. Both the decor and the abundant crowd. 

You lean back in your chair, narrowing your eyes. "Wayne.” You have to try not to sneer.

You are acquainted with him, after all. His marks are always top of the class, and yours are always seconding. You’re at Gotham U entirely on scholarship, just having transferred from community college. You’re first in your family to go to college, period, and they were risking everything for you to be here. You had to be top of your class if you wanted to pursue your post-grad plans. 

Always being second to this nepo-baby billionaire is a bitter knock to your self-esteem. You wince, feeling sharp pain on your ribcage. One you don’t need with all the other bitter knocks your classmates already give you.

You stare up at the man, wishing he hadn’t caught you in your seat. You blink, realizing that he isn't moving. "Wait, what did you say?" you ask.

“... I said, 'study with me.'" He elegantly lands in the seat across from you at the all-too-small table. "I’ll be sitting here.”

You gape at him.

“But– y-you don’t even like me…?” Damian had never spared you the time of day until … this day. You assumed you were a gnat to him at best. Just some brokie who managed to sneak his way into his school.

How utterly wrong you were.

Damian Wayne hadn’t expected to end up with anyone other than a woman, he supposed. It had been assumed of him during his childhood and he hadn’t questioned it. From a young age he had been aware of homosexuality, and that men could be attractive, but he hadn’t considered it for himself in any serious capacity. 

Even Timothy coming out didn’t spur any curiosity from him. Despite his siblings teasing, his closeness to Jon was entirely platonic. So Damian just assumed, like the majority of the world, he was heterosexual. Until you had transferred into one of his classes and stole his breath away.

Damian’s eyes narrow and, if you can believe it, glimmer with interest. “I don’t recall ever saying that. For all you know, I could be quite fond of you.” His eyes lower to where your lips lie. “... Or at the very least, interested.”

You cheeks heat rise to your cheeks, before you flinch. There's no way. He didn’t mean it like that. Yet despite discerning his expression… Oh fuck, maybe he meant it like that? You panic, head snapping away from his. No– no. You are not going to be weird about this. You could have a friend here. 

The last time you misinterpreted friendliness from your peers as romantic advances... Those bruises are still healing, still aching when you stretch and bend. Your stomach roils with hurt, fear, and betrayal – no. You weren’t going to repeat the same mistake this time. You’ve been ostracized from most of your peers by now. ‘Pervert’ and ‘predator’ they named you. But maybe… you could have a friend here.

In your silence, Damian finds tendrils of curiosity churning in his stomach. He wants desperately to talk to you. To hear you speak. To listen to you talk at length about the lectures he finds so droll, but you find rapturing. Test scores meant nothing. He may be better at memorizing the text, but he’s read your essays. He clears his throat, lifting his chin on instinct to feign confidence.

You look up at him shyly, before realizing you’ve been mulling in silence like a freak for the past few minutes. Damian doesn’t mind, having been able to openly admire you.

You cough, trying to ease the confusion thrumming in your veins. “... Well, fine. I could use a sounding board.”

“Shall we start with the next test review?” Damian offers, flipping open a book.

You perk up, having been about to suggest lighter reading rather than the dense, metaphysical chapters your professor recommended. You nod fervently, lips curling to Damian’s delight.

“Yes, please,” you say, metaphorical tag wagging.

New friend, new friend, you inwardly cheer. 

Damian’s thoughts run considerably more romantic.

[nqueso-emergency]

You can think Tommy was queer coded in the begins episodes. You have every right to do so. What I don’t think is right is trying to say Tommy was queer coded but then trying to tell people they are wrong for saying Eddie is queer coded. If the moments that were mentioned for Tommy being queer coded are valid then so are the many moments people point to for Eddie being queer coded. The slightly lingering look he gave Buck after saying the women flirting with him weren’t his type. The parallels between Michael and Eddie / Michael and Athena’s relationship and Eddie and Shannon’s. Eddie having panic attacks at the thought of getting serious with Ana. Saying he doesn’t like being forced to date because he feels like he has to perform. The breakup scene with Ana. Countless moments between him and Buck that could be seen as flirting. If this is somehow “twisting a scene to fit the narrative” then I could say the same exact thing for the reasons that were mentioned for Tommy. A character doesn’t have to be canonically queer for them to be queer coded. That’s what queer coding is. Just like people always use to say Buck was queer coded before 7x04 and he was confirmed canonically bi. You don’t have to like Eddie or anything but blatantly dismissing queer people who see themselves in Eddie and view him as queer coded is awful. I genuinely can’t think of a reason why you would be against it that doesn’t have to do with not wanting him to be queer because that would possibly interfere with your ship or homophobia. Even if you don’t view Eddie as queer that doesn’t give you the right to dismiss people who do and tell that that they are wrong or delusional.

I'm answering this because you clearly want me too, seeing as you sent another anon bitching about how long I was taking to answer it.

This was your second ask:

It’s very telling that you won’t post my ask about queer coding. It could be a civil conversation but you clearly just want to spread toxicity.

How in THE FUCK is this ask a civil conversation?

1. I never said that Eddie wasn't queer coded and I never told anyone they were wrong for thinking so. All of my answers were about Buck or Tommy.

2. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ANONS OPINIONS. You have beef with them? Find a way to deal.

3. Please explain the Michael/Eddie parallels because I don't see them.

4. A "lingering look" is not queer coded.

5. Do not come in here calling me homophobic when I haven't said one damn homophobic thing.

6. All of the queer coded things you mentioned can be brought back to Eddie's unresolved grief over the loss of Shannon.

7. Come into my asks a little less aggressive next time, yeah?

[winniethewife]

Would be caught in the way you got me

(Marc Spector X Bi!F!Reader X Layla El-Faouly)

Week 3: Sex/Kissing

Words: 587

When Marc signed on for this, he admittedly had a specific idea of how it would go in mind. Having the two women that he loves, all over him. However, now that they were together and He was…practically forgotten. Not that he minded. He enjoyed watching the two as they walked through the streets of the city. He loved watching Layla’s hand in hers and the way She kissed her cheek and the way they walked in perfect time together. As they both stopped to look in a shop window at the window display, He pulls out Steven’s phone and takes a picture of the two of them together. A small smile on his face as they turn to see what he was doing.

“Oh No! We’ve been caught being adorable again…” Layla gasped in mock surprise, which caused the other woman to laugh.

“Oh…Oh no…what will we do?” She says in between the boughts of laughter.

“Well, obviously you gotta pay the cute tax.” Marc said with the most stoic face. “A serious cute offence has been taken here.” He smiled slightly unable to keep the façade up.

“Oh, well…How much is the cute tax, Mister Marc sir?” She rocked back on her heels and looked up at him, tilting her head to the side, playing up the innocent look. Marc pretended to think for a minute putting his thumb and fore finger on his chin.

“Hmmm well… One kiss from each of you should cover the cost…” He raised an eye brow and nodded his head, like he was considering the most important financial laws and figuring out complex equations in his head. Layla laughed, and gave her a mischievous look. She walked up to Marc and grabbed him by the face, her hands on either side of his face before pressing a kiss to his lips. Marc wasn’t expecting this kind of a kiss, this was an intense, passionate kiss, it took him just a second too long to figure it out and Layla was already pulling away. He looked confused and bewildered but before he could even ask he was being kisses again, this was a less familiar kiss, sweeter, different, but good. he didn’t hesitate this time his hand on her lower back, his other on the back of her neck, pressing his lips back with a grunt. After a moment he released her, Layla looked impressed, she looked shocked, He felt amazing.

“wait a minute, I want a kiss like that!” Layla laughed before grabbing her around the waist spinning her towards her, lowering her in a dip before pressing a kiss to her lips. The action took her breath away. She felt like she was being spectacularly wooed. Her heart racing in her chest as she was moved back to a standing location and having Layla pull away.

“Woah.” She said, she felt like her brain was catching up with her body. But before she could she heard Marc speaking.

“Steven says he can do better.” Marc said with a soft laugh while glancing at his reflection. She shook her head.

“Lemme breathe for a minute first, I’m having a bisexual panic.” She said with a laugh.

“Oh I donno, I feel like we should let Steven try” Layla said in a sing song voice. She turns to look at her two lovers.

“What is this a kissing competition?” She asked bewildered.

“Sure why not.” Marc shrugged. “Although… I think we can have a much more interesting competition at the apartment…”

~

Masterlist

Taglist: @romanarose @silvernight-m @queerponcho @boredzillenial

[stayinhellevator]

Hard To Love

Where Chan was hard to love but harder to not. Pairing: Bang Chan x gn!Reader // Lee Know x gn!Reader Genre: Angst with fluff at the end / friends to lovers Word Count: 4471  Warning: cuss words, implied toxic behaviour, mentions of a girlfriend and ragging. Playlist: Every Road Leads ~ Bette Midler

Bang Chan was hard to love. To you at least.

You had known Christopher Bang all your life. Your parents were neighbours turned friends which naturally passed on to Chan and you; childhood best friends keeping their friendship intact all the way to high school and even through college. And now, even as you both were adults, occupied in your own jobs, your friendship still remained, stronger than ever.

It was safe to say, you had the best memories with Chan. Be it breaking rules or crying over some soppy ass movie on a Saturday night; laughing at weird corny jokes or bawling over a nasty breakup. All your firsts also belonged to each other, call it curiosity or whatever. There wasn’t much to complain about your platonic journey with Chan.

Except when there was. Things weren’t all that platonic on your end, after all. And how couldn’t they? Chan was perfect after all, at least for you. To you. But it was hard to love Christopher ‘Chan’ Bang.

“Hey __!! Where’s Chan hyung? Is he not coming tonight?”

Jeongin’s loud call jerked you back into the present, as you noticed all of their attention was now on you.

“He said he’ll be on time and now everyone’s here while he’s slacking.”

Hyunjin dramatically shook his head, as if to expressly show his disapproval, not that Chan or anyone in the room cared much.

“How would I know? I’m right here, sitting with you guys, aren’t I?”

You tried using sarcasm as a way to ward off their attention from you, knowing that they thought you both must’ve fought and were now grovelling for each other. But the truth was, you really didn’t know where Chan was; you hadn’t known anything about him for a few months now.

“I don’t know, you guys are always attached to each other’s hip so…”

Jisung’s voice, masked with indifference, couldn’t hide the amusement that filled his eyes at the irony of the situation, which made you scoff in annoyance.

As Chan and you got into high school, you befriended Changbin and Minho respectively and together you guys made a lot of memories and unable to part ways, you took admission in the same college where you found Jisung and his younger brother Seungmin, then Hyunjin and lastly Minho’s younger brother Jeongin too joined your group, all of them a year junior to the four of you. The last to join your group was also a junior, another Australian, Felix, that Chan saved from ragging and introduced him to your group. Since then the nine of you are inseparable.

Honestly though, the group was always divided a little by biases towards Chan and you. Changbin and Minho sided with you for some reason. If teams were being formed, they would be the first to pick you, even when Chan wouldn’t and you could now for sure say that if things ever went downhill, they’d be the ones to never leave your side whereas Hyunjin, Han and Jeongin always biased Chan, dare you say revered him for some reason. Felix was the obvious one, Chan literally was his knight in shining armour though your friends always joked that he had some kind of bi-panic towards Chan and you. Seungmin on the other hand, couldn’t be bothered less. If it were casually picking teams, he’d go by whatever team he was feeling that day. But if it were a serious issue, he’d always side with whatever he thought was right. So he never really picked a side.

In his words, “I dislike you motherfuckers all the same.” But you knew that his precious heart would and could never pick sides. And you adored him and this little chosen family of yours, even if they gave you run for your money sometimes, a little less than you adored Chan though.

Chan was for a lack of better words, MIA these days. He used to tell you that he couldn’t survive an hour without you, which was somewhat true based on your history. You guys were indeed always attached to hip, no matter how much you wanted to punch the smirk off Jisung’s face.

“Sorry guys I had an emergency.”

Lo and behold, there he was. The man of the hour, truly. He was on everybody’s mind yet you couldn’t be sure what or who was on HIS mind. Strolling in so casually and effortlessly gorgeous, oblivious to the storm in your head, greeting everyone with that bright smile of his that easily made your heart skip a beat or two. He exuded main character energy; the handsome protagonist that makes all the girls in college swoon, that is adored by children and elders alike, the favourite friend of all the parents, the one that can easily make friends with even the coldest person in the world, the one who got the most roses during valentines and would smoothly reject them with the most innocent face as if he didn’t know the entire female population of the college liked him.

He was annoying and charming and you were just another female in that lot, who failed to resist him. But who could blame you when you were so close to him that you could almost taste the kind of love that you wanted from him. You were not delusional after all, just hopeful.

“Hey sweet girl! How are you doing?”

But it was harder to not love him, especially when he spoke to you like that. The sweet nicknames in his honey like voice, the genuine adoration in his alluring eyes and the way his words seemed to always melt your heart in a mush. You’ve loved him ever since you first understood what love was.

“I’m good. How about you?”

You could feel the squeak in your words, and so did the other seven men in the room, as if someone had wrung your throat and made you answer but Chan only passed you his infamous flashing smile.

“I’m good too, now that I’ve seen you.”

And he said it so casually, oblivious to the heat spreading the entirety of your face and the racing of your heart, that you knew it didn’t mean what you actually wanted it to mean. This was the real him, he had always been good with words, it came naturally to him. Maybe you weren’t a special case to him for he naturally had so much love to give to everyone, even if you selfishly wanted to be the only one.

Maybe, this was all he ever was-oblivious. He couldn’t see what the rest of your friends could, your parents could, the entire college could, heck you’re sure even a stranger would if they were to be in your vicinity. But he didn’t. He couldn’t see the person he said he knew the best. At least, not anymore. You should’ve known. He was the best at obliviousness.

“You were the one who disappeared and are now suddenly back with your cheesy words.”

You rolled your eyes at him, trying to feign nonchalance, pretend that you didn’t care about him, pretend that it didn’t hurt, his actions don’t hurt. After all, this was what you were the best at-pretence.

He sat beside you with a soft, dramatic ‘oof’ and wrapped his arms around your shoulders in a bear hug. You let out a sigh of relief, as if a burden was lifted off your shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I know that’s on me but I was going through something, that I’ll soon share with you, before you say it. You know I’d never abandon you like that, don’t you?”

You did know that, didn’t you? Chan had always been so attentive and caring towards you ever since your first day at kindergarten together. Holding your hands all the way up to class, tending to your physical injuries, lending his shoulders to cry on, memorised all your allergies and actively watched out for you, never letting you walk on the road side, crossing roads with you as if he were protecting a child, having your orders from all cafés and restaurants at the back of his mind and even healing all your mental scars, all but that which were related to him. How could you not love him when he made you feel like you were on top of the world, like you two were the only ones for each other, like he reciprocated your feelings? These little things were what actually attracted you to him.

Only to go on dates with people that could even give supermodels run for their money. His dates made you realise that you would never be close to his ideal type, you’d never be what he wants in life, thereby discouraging you from confessing whenever you mustered up some courage.

“Yeah you’re being unfair to all of us. Do you know how much __ missed you? Kept asking about you all the damn time.”

You glared at Felix with so much heat that he visibly squirmed at his place, beside Seungmin, who though had a blank look on his face, smacked his arm as if gesturing to stop his nonsense.

“The last time I remember, it was Chan’s minions, who were hassling __ for his whereabouts, Felix, wasn’t it?”

Changbin, as always, your saviour took your side and effectively shut the boys up, who were clearly enjoying your plight.

“Ah! My bad, guys. But what’s so wrong with my girl missing me, Bin?”

You jerked up from his hold to look at him but he didn’t let your hands escape his as he stared back at you with a playful glint in his warm eyes. You could hear a lot of ‘oohs’ and giggles around you but you couldn’t care less because he was doing it again; giving you hope that you guys were something more, only to turn around and switch to the same old best friends forever shit.

“No no there’s absolutely nothing wrong with YOUR girl missing you.”

You could hear Hyunjin’s annoying drawl but you held your breath, waiting for him to do just exactly what you expected of him, you knew him better than he knew you after all, heck you knew him better than he knew himself and you knew you couldn’t be wrong about him, even though you kept hoping against hope. You wanted to be wrong tonight.

“Exactly! So stop teasing my best friend about it.”

Yup! There it was; the tag that you once wore with honour gradually turning into a weight holding you down. The giggles quietened as your shoulders sunk and you relaxed back into the couch, you didn’t know what’s on everyone’s mind but you surely expected it to happen once again because you also knew that Chan had always enjoyed attention, you just didn’t expect to be one of his enjoyment sources as well but you slowly learnt that maybe you were too. He liked knowing that he had your heart on the palm of his hands; knowing that he was the only one for you, finding comfort in the fact that no matter what he did and no matter where he went, he could always come back home to you. And you would take him back with open arms, like a fool. Always.

But you had enough. You thought tonight you’ll tell him of your feelings and be done with it, once and for all. You knew he won’t accept them but at least you’d get your closure with his rejection and move on to a life without the hopes of Chan as your boyfriend.

“Then start being my best friend properly. I can’t be the only one in this friendship anymore, could I?”

You knew the weight of your words surprised not only Chan but also the rest of the group, who now looked alert and uncomfortable, knowing it wasn’t a jest anymore for you. Chan’s eyes widened with disbelief did nothing to deter yours filled with determination.

“Baby don’t be like that. For once, think about me and you’d understand why I was gone for a while. Please don’t make a scene tonight, when all of us are here and so happy together; when I’m so happy after a long time.”

His words, as much as had the powers to heal me, also had the powers to destroy me from within. How could he so subtly call me selfish? I don’t think about him? If only he still cared about me he’d know that all I ever thought about was him. Did he also imply that he was so unhappy but all I did was ignore him and make a scene out of everything? I didn’t listen to him? Hah! If he wanted, I could recite everything he’s ever said to me, word by word. That’s how much I paid attention to him.

“That was a little too harsh, wasn’t it Chan hyung? Why don’t you just get straight to the point and save us all the misery of your oh-so-unhappy-life?”

Seungmin, as always the blunt Angel that he was, said with a finality. When all Chan saw was the disbelief on everyone’s face and understood that he disappointed everyone with the choice of his words, he knew he took it too far.

“Okay! I guess it’s time to tell you all. You remember the hot girl I hooked up with in that downtown bar six months ago?”

Of course you did, even if nobody else did because you remember feeling like a 16 year old heartbroken kid all over again when you found Chan making out with a beautiful stranger when you turned to find him after a quick toilet break.

“Well we caught up again six months back and decided to see where it leads us. We took a break off to Jeju and damn I had the time of my life. I think it’s safe to say we’re ready to date now. I don’t think I’ve been happier in my life ever.”

Six months since Chan disappeared on you, leaving you wondering if you did something wrong. Six months since he left you and started thinking of a life with someone else, without informing you. Granted you didn’t have to know everything about his life but he couldn’t even tell you he’d be gone, as a best friend?

Oh! How pathetic you were, truly. When all your happiness only ever relied on him, he didn’t even think you had ever made him feel joyous. Were you jealous, angry, hopeless or heartbroken? You didn’t know; maybe all of it, in that order. Suddenly 24 years of friendship felt suffocating to you, useless even, if he couldn’t share his whereabouts and woes with you.

“Wah! You’re so cool dude. You got two of the coldest and the most gorgeous chicks of our college crazy in love with you. Damn!”

And of course Hyunjin was going to praise Chan, as if he had saved the world. Even Jeongin looked scandalised with the amount of bullshit that came out of Hyunjin’s mouth, then it was fair enough that Minho almost strangled him.

“Wait! Two? Who’s the other one.”

Hah! What a funny guy he was; couldn’t even keep quiet for once and let you silently grovel in your misery. Thankfully though, the chime of your phone from a colleague gave you an excuse to escape. Of course you weren’t going to actually answer the phone because you didn’t think you could form words without a tremor in your voice.

But you couldn’t stop your thoughts from going haywire now. Should you have told him sooner? Was it your fault? Were you not obvious enough? Of course he wouldn’t actually ever pick you, who were you after all? He had so many better choices, someone he would be proud to have by his side. You were never enough, you had always known then why did it hurt so much?

“You can stop blaming yourself now.”

Minho’s sweet voice tinged with sternness infiltrated your thoughts as you saw him take a seat beside you on the patio bench. You took deep breaths, trying to hold your emotions.

“You once told me it was okay to cry and let out my feelings in front of you because you’d never judge me for it. Tonight I ask the same of you. I think you’ve tortured yourself enough.”

An exhausted sigh followed by a stream of tears finally escaped you as you let your emotions wash over you and rest your head on Minho’s shoulder. Never had you ever thought that someone other than Chan would ever be able to comfort you, least of all Minho.

Minho wasn’t the most expressive person, even if you could swear that he was the one who felt the most emotions-the most hurt, the happiest, the most excited and even the angriest. You knew that he checked his emotions so damn much because sometimes they drove him, in his words, insane. While you knew he had your back as did, you his, he wasn’t your closest friend. You had the least amount of memories with him, you both were a weird bunch to be honest.

“This was bound to happen one day then why does it hurt so much?”

You didn’t even think he heard your whisper but he surprised you, not that you even expected a reply.

“Because feelings can’t be helped and you felt too many of them for just one person all your life.”

You buried your face in his shoulders as your cries turned into silent sobs and his arms tightened around you. You could swear it was the safest you’d felt in a while, dare you say like the comfort of a home and you wondered why Minho had never held you before for you swore his hug was soothing.

“I think it’s better this way.”

Your words prompted him to make distance so as to look at your face but you weren’t ready to look at his face, afraid of his judgement.

“He’s perfect in every sense and he seeks perfection in every sense while I can never be even close to perfection nor have I ever strived to be. You know those main characters of a movie who’s rich, good looking, charming, got a gorgeous troublesome ex but somehow ends up with a character that’s completely opposite of them? Chan is that main character to me. I think that even if I confessed to him and he had accepted me I’d always be anxious, trying my best to keep him in my life, make sure he’d never grow bored of me, be his perfect other half and that would’ve ultimately killed the person within me that he liked, or if ever liked.”

You gave a bitter smile at your fate and walked away from the bench while staring at the moon that looked so pretty yet unattainable, just like Chan. So close yet so far.

“He never deserved you any way. You deserve so much better and more than he could give you.”

You let out a sarcastic scoff at Minho’s words as you felt him coming closer to you.

“And who said that?”

“I’m saying that. Changbin says that. Heck, even Chan’s minions know that. If this isn’t enough for you, then all those roses in your locker say that.”

You were sure there was a frown on your face at his reply. Maybe Minho was more delusional than you because no way in hell so many people would ever think that way. You appreciated his efforts to make you feel better but he didn’t have to lie to your face. All of a sudden, you felt his fingers on your jaw, pulling you to face him as you stood wide-eyed in surprise.

“You never noticed these things because you were so busy noticing what Chan needed. You never noticed those roses and letters in your locker because you were focused on his; you rejected all prom dates because you were busy moping as he picked his date; you never noticed how the entire college stoped to look back at you as you entered the campus because you were always focused on what Chan was saying. You never noticed how much I love you because you were busy loving him.”

The only words that managed to knock your breath out after this sudden proximity between you two were the last few words that escaped from him as his eyes softened at your now misty ones while his fingers kept caressing your cheeks as if to ground you to the present.

“Minho!”

And a soft whisper of his name was all you could manage to let out. You were sure that your heart had pretty much skipped an entire rhythm right now. How could he be in love with you? He never even gave any signs. He was always so distant that you even thought he disliked you when you first spoke to him. He rested his head on yours as both of you closed your eyes, feeling an ecstasy that was never felt before.

“I’ve been in love with you ever since I first saw you in the college cafeteria. It was impossible to not notice you when you were practically glowing in my eyes; so pretty, had such a sweet giggle, spoke so passionately about how Toy Story 1 was the best movie and other sequels should’ve never been made, cried over a hurt kitten all in one day of knowing you; all these things made me want to wrap you in a blanket burrito and never let go.”

You let out a little chuckle as your grip tightened on his shirt and more tears escaped you.

“I wanted to approach you, tell you I wanted to date you but you were clearly not interested in anything romantic if it wasn’t with Chan so I settled for being friends. I thought it was better to have some of you than none of you. You said that Chan was the main character in your story but you were the main character in mine.”

This time you didn’t stop the sob that came out of you, thinking about how much you hurt him unintentionally. You also couldn’t stop thinking about a possibility of all that could’ve been if you took off the rose tinted glasses through which you saw Chan, even once.

“Maybe this is my punishment Minho. I kept hurting you, just as much as I kept getting hurt. I kept blaming Chan in my head but what’s the difference between him and I, when I did the same to you?”

He immediately shook his head and held you by the shoulders with so much resolve that it compelled you to stop rambling and listen to him.

“There’s a lot of differences between the two of you. You never gave me any mixed signals, you never played push and pull with my emotions, you always knew what you wanted; I was the one hurting because I couldn’t let go of you. Our situation is different than Chan and yours. How were you to know that I felt this way about you when I kept my distance? But you’ve to understand that I was reserved because I was scared about the intensity of my love towards you, even when we had so much space between us. What would’ve happened if I didn’t push myself out of the frame? Would that have been better for the two of us?"

As you looked at his doe eyes that reflected the depth of his soul, you knew for sure, that this man right here would’ve been able to break through all your walls of false hopes and easily made you love him, perhaps more than you’ve ever loved anyone.

“Maybe!”

“Maybe!”

Both of you nodded and whispered in a silent agreement but refused to let of each other, needing to believe that this moment was true, that it was really happening.

“Then would you wait a little more for me?”

You could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes that he squashed with confusion, not wanting to get disappointed for hoping about something that he long gave up on without even trying but you were determined to not hurt and get hurt anymore. Maybe this was a new beginning for you, for him and for Chan.

“Wait for what?”

You took a deep breath and clutched his hand that was still unknowingly caressing the back of your neck.

“Please wait for me to get over my heartbreak and let me get to know you as something more than just friends. I know what I’m asking of you is a bit selfish but I don’t want to treat you as a rebound, as a replacement of what I couldn’t have, as an outlet of my heartbreak. I want us to be real and our beginning shouldn’t be formed on the basis of my negative baggage. You deserve the best and while I may not be the best, I want to be at least my best for you; for us.”

His beaded eyes shone with something that you couldn’t really place but you knew that you could travel to the end of the world if it meant that his eyes would shine like that.

“I’ve waited for you when there wasn’t any hope or reason to. Imagine how long I could wait for you now that you’ve given me a reason to.”

Yes, you were definitely a fool to not notice this pure hearted man who might not have stood by your side but always around you, silently protecting you and loving you without expecting anything in return. But what you did notice was how you liked this kind of crying where you couldn’t even stop smiling at each other, especially when his bunny smile looked so endearing on him.

And as you both wrapped each other around in an intimate lovers’ hold you finally felt contentment, as if the last piece of a huge complicated puzzle finally snapped in place. You pressed your nose in his shirt, letting his scent comfort you and could already feel yourself wanting to drift off to somewhere only you and him existed.

While it may have been harder to not love Chan, you think it may be criminal to not love Minho.

What you both didn’t notice was a pair of eyes in the corner of the yard, observing you two since the beginning, overwhelmed but feeling a crack in his heart that he never even imagined he would. Were new beginnings supposed to make your heart twist like that?

Read On Wattpad

©️stayinhellevator2023: Please don’t repost, translate or copy my work on any other platform.

[pitstoptaken]

Hey!

I loooooooooove your racer!charles x wag!carlos au! It's so good!! Can you share more about how they are in private? 🥰

(Or truly, anything you want to share from this au because I truly adore this idea 😍)

WAAAA THANK YOU!! I’d love to share some with you 🥰

Part 1, part 2, part 3 of racer!Charles & wag!Carlos

As a high functioning person who has his life gathered, it was a life-changing experience for Carlos to follow his racer boyfriend. Not like it’s new to travel the world because Carlos has alot of business trips here and there but wow. He is a wag now.

So Charles really had to tell Carlos not to appear with some kind of ~brands~ that aren’t really representing him in order to keep his sponsor well-packed since Carlos is, you know, we can say a high-class man himself.

As stated in previous point, that means Charles just shared his whole wardrobe and his whole life inside and outside Ferrari; as a person who has a partner and as a person who appears alot in media.

Carlos rethinking about getting a PR team which making Charles panic but “babe, we can just chill alright”

(Wow it’s getting serious now, isn’t it?)

Pan!Carlos and bi!Charles actually

Carlos is the clingy one actually. So being brought by Charles everywhere is a very fortunate thing for the Spaniard 😉

Charles is so bad at hiding his expression so he was caught up looking at Carlos affectionately too many times even Carlos was trying to keep everything lowkey

Reassuring hugs and words of affirmations by Carlos (trademark) before and after race

Them trying to spoil each other but also arguing about it because “I have my own money and you too but that doesn’t mean I can’t spoil you”

Charles telling everyone about Carlos but Carlos doesn’t really introduce Charles to his closest ones (sad but why not)

Good Boy Charles (trademark) when he is getting along with Carlos at his work related gathering and everyone was like, “the Charles Leclerc??”

Being home means domestic things like Carlos cooking for him and Charles admiring Carlos sculpted by gods self when Carlos is working

Carlos has to deal with Charles indecisive ass sometimes

 Them trying to deal with cameras all the damn time

Charles being super nice to people and Carlos is like, “you can say no to them”

Charles quality time ass is always clingier when there’s no race

“Move in with me mon beau” “I am literally living in Monaco, Sharls”

[absurdthirst]

Simple As That {Marcus Pike x F!Reader}

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Internalized homophobia/bi-erasure, actually homophobia, mentions of cheating, divorce, anxiety, panic, self doubt, Marcus being the best

Comments: Telling your boyfriend that you're bisexual when Pride month comes around isn't easy, especially when a friend is going through a horrible time because of their own sexual identity.

A/N: Happy Pride Month! 🌈 I know that I've had my own moments of panic and self-erasure and I'm sure a lot of you have as well. Be authentic to yourself. Live, laugh, love whoever you wish. Just know that I love you for who you are.

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Marcus Pike MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

You’ve talked yourself out of this conversation for so long, you wonder if it’s even necessary. After all, what does it matter? You are with a man who is bright, funny, thoughtful and caring. One who is empathetic to your hectic life, because he has his own full plate, and never seems to mind when you just don’t have the social battery to go out. He even asks if you have the energy to let him take care of you, or if he should spend the night at his own apartment. In short, Marcus Pike is perfect. 

Still, guilt hangs over you like a shroud, weighing you down and making you bite your lip when the topic is brought up or even represented on tv. Like there is a big neon sign flashing over your head that screams ‘LIAR!!’ in a pink, blue and purple hues. 

You tell yourself that it doesn’t matter if you're bisexual. You are in a relationship with a man. Even though younger you would be completely pissed off by the fact that you are self-erasing a part of yourself that seemed so central to who you are. 

You’re scared. You can admit that. You’ve seen how some of your friends' relationships have imploded when their sexuality was used against them. Hell, even now, Anthony’s marriage is dead, going through the nastiest divorce that you’ve ever seen with Charlotte accusing him of sleeping with every single one of his friends. Apparently the gym was code for a gang bang in the locker room, and he called her ‘Charlie’ because he wanted to pretend his wife was a man. It didn’t matter that she was the one who offered that nickname when they met three years ago, it was being used against him now as some sort of weird, homophobic proof of his infidelity. 

Personally, you think she’s crazy and it was unlikely that the marriage would have lasted even five more years, but  the viciousness of her accusations managed to dig into you. Permeate under your skin when you had heard what she had accused him of, how immediately Anthony was untrustworthy around anyone and everyone, all because he was bisexual. The fact that she had known this before they got married was irrelevant. It mattered now and it was crushing your friend. 

Tapping your nail on the desktop calendar, you try to ignore the date. June first. The beginning of Pride Month. A month to celebrate who you are authentically. This month is different from the rest since you have gotten serious with a gorgeous FBI agent with a boyish smile. 

Instead of some kind of Pride event, you’ve penciled in a date with him. Knowing that he will be eager to see you since the latest case had taken him out of town for nearly two weeks. Two weeks of self doubt and second guessing. Two weeks of dealing with the fallout of Anthony’s marriage crumbling, since he is sleeping on your couch - even though it’s ironic she’s not accusing him of sleeping with you. Two weeks of deciding that you should never tell Marcus about that side of yourself and then chastising yourself in the same single breath. 

It doesn’t matter if you never kiss another girl again. Never sleep with one. That Marcus is the only person that you are intimate with for the rest of your life. You are bisexual. You are sexually and romantically attracted to both men and women. It doesn’t matter that on the outside you appear as a heteronormative couple, you’re not. Because you’re not. To deny that would be to deny a huge part of yourself. 

You sigh softly and consider canceling. Hiding away for the next few days, hell, maybe even the entire month. Just so you don’t have to be out with Marcus around the flags or the events that were planned throughout the city for the entire month. Pretending it doesn’t exist. 

Your phone lights up, buzzing as a picture of Marcus pops up. It was one that you had snapped while he was trying, and failing to cook dinner about a month ago. Looking adorably flustered, it had become his contact picture and it makes you smile every time you see it. 

You smile this time too, but it’s a nervous smile. Picking up the phone and trying to ignore the way that your stomach rocks and rolls like the waves of a turbulent sea, you answer. “Hey, babe.” You hum, hoping you sound completely normal to your boyfriend.

“Hey.” Marcus always sounds like he’s excited to hear your voice, the warm, buttery sound of his greeting relaxing you a bit and making the smile turn a bit brighter. “I just landed and wondered if I could come over.” 

It’s completely Marcus to want to drop everything and rush over to see you. Despite the fact that he might be exhausted from traveling, or working nonstop over the two weeks. Only one of the reasons that he didn’t know about your houseguest. You hadn’t wanted to talk to him about it over the phone since you couldn’t see his face. Watch his eyes as you explain. 

“How about I come to your place?” You ask, glancing back at the little flag that Anthony had stuck in your pen organizer. The lines of the damn thing mocking you, although you know why he is stubbornly being prideful about Pride month this year. “We can relax, and you can sleep in your own bed for the first time in two weeks.” Although you might not be sleeping beside him.

Marcus groans, and you can tell that he likes that idea. “I’ll pick up some take out on the way home.” He agrees quickly, so you know that he was offering to come over simply because he felt like it was the right thing to do. “See you in half an hour?” 

“Half an hour.” You agree, ending the call and trying not to feel sick about something that should be so easy. It’s not, but you need to tell him. 

****

“I’ve really missed you.” Marcus leans in to kiss you softly. Food consumed and he looks infinitely more relaxed after a quick shower and tossing on some of his oldest, comfiest sweats. Leaning into you on the couch and you can see that spark of desire in his eyes. It’s easy to see and you bite your lip, determined to tell him before anything else happens tonight. 

“Anthony’s getting divorced.” You blurt out, making him pause as he leans in. “He’s been staying on my couch for the past two weeks.” 

“Shit.” Marcus frowns and leans back, his brows pulled in slightly and he sighs. “Is he okay? What happened?” 

You don’t want to tell him the details, knowing that it’s not your place to say anything to him about Anthony’s sexuality since you don’t know if it’s ever been brought up before with Marcus around. He knows your friends and likes them, but it’s not like everyone is talking about who they are attracted to. Everyone is in committed relationships except for a few who are serial daters. “They- Charlie thinks Anthony is cheating.” 

Marcus’ eyes widen and he shakes his head. “Damn.” He huffs. “I hope that’s not true, I doubt it is, from what I gathered, he seemed pretty damn committed to Charlie.” 

“He is- was.” You correct. “But there’s no going back now. Not with what’s been said.” It was sad, the things that were hurled at him in anger or spite and you know it hurt him a lot. “He’s staying on my couch.” 

“Okay.” Marcus nods quickly, reaching out and rubbing your arm. “Let me know if I can help in any way. Or…” He shrugs slightly. “I do have another bedroom. He can crash here instead of your couch.” He offers. “No offense to the sofa, it’s comfortable, but a bed is more comfy.” 

You smile, shrugging slightly and nod. “I’ll tell him about your offer. It’s sweet, but he might say no.” You hum and Marcus tilts his head curiously but doesn’t ask why. He’s good about not prying. Especially for an FBI agent.

“It’s available.” Is all he offers before he scoots closer to you. “So I want to take you out.” He starts. “But I wanted to make sure that it was okay before I surprise you with it.” 

That’s unusual for Marcus. He tends to like grand gestures and this makes you look at him curiously. “Oh?” 

“There’s an event this weekend. And I always go to it every year and I was wondering if you would come with me.” He tells you, keeping his dark eyes on yours and you feel the dread that has been in your stomach all afternoon start to slowly ebb under the weight of his soft expression. 

“What’s that?” You wonder if it’s some kind of work event. Or even a marathon. Marcus has been groaning about needing to start running again. Apparently he has been running marathons every year, at least one, since he was in college. The beer runs had turned into more respectable 5 and 10ks. 

“Pride.” Marcus ventures, his brows raising up and he looks a little nervous. “There’s a pub crawl this weekend and I just always go to something, and I thought that it might not be as….large as the parade and I thought you might like to go…and if you don’t, that’s okay, but-” Marcus is rambling, something that you notice that he does when he is worried about what you might say so he feels the need to provide more details or arguments that back up his ‘case’ so to speak. 

Your own sense of having water poured over your head washes over you and you reach out. “Marc.” Touching his hand makes him freeze mid rambling sentence and you let the silence hange between you for a moment. You don’t ask a question, but you’re sure that your eyes are begging him to explain. 

“I just- I thought you might like to go since, well, yeah.” He blows out a breath and shakes his head. “I thought that since you are bisexual, you might like to go? Unless you don’t celebrate pride and your boyfriend is being incredibly insensitive? If that’s the case, I’m so sorry.” 

“You know?” Your eyes widen and abject horror is probably spreading across your features even though you can’t even feel anything other than your thundering heart. “H-how do you know?” Who told him, how did he find out? Did he go through your phone one night to find the small stash of porn you had saved for those nights when you wanted to think about a woman. Fantasy isn’t cheating, you’ve always believed that, and you know that Marcus has his own porn habit, but how does he know?

Marcus frowns, confusion clouding his face and he shakes his head. “I- was I not supposed to know?” He asks quietly, his hand sliding back to rest on the back of the sofa to give you space if you needed it. 

“I just don’t- who told you?” You don’t feel like any of your friends have said anything, but who knows? Your stomach feels like every bite of your dinner is going to come up. 

His look of confusion deepens and he shakes his head. “Babe…..you told me.” He tells you, completely confused as to why you seem so upset. 

“I told you?” You demand, voice creeping up. “When did I tell you?” 

“Our first date.” He shakes his head and holds up his hands. “Babe, what’s wrong?” He asks, obviously confused over your reaction to this conversation.

“I didn’t tell you on our first date.” You argue. “I would never just come out and say ‘oh by the way, I’m bisexual’.” You know that you’re getting emotional, but you can’t help yourself. You’ve been torturing yourself for a long time about this. 

“Woah, babe.” Marcus raises his hands and speaks soothingly. “I’m not understanding. On our first date, you told me about breaking up with ‘Sam’.”

“Sam is a boy’s name.” 

“You called her Samantha at one point during the story.” He tells you.

Your mouth drops open because Sam was Samatha and you hadn’t even noticed the little slip of the tongue. But he apparently had. “Oh.”

He doesn’t try to make you feel dumb, instead he just waits for you to speak again. 

“Why do you go to pride?” You ask quietly, unable to meet his eyes. 

Marcus gently cups your chin, tilting your head so you are looking at him again. Smiling softly at you, no judgment in his eyes. “Because I’ve had a lot of friends who are in the community and it’s important for me to support them.” He explains. “Just like it’s important for me to support my girlfriend.”

“Simple as that?” You ask, surprised that he doesn’t have questions, hasn’t questioned you about this before now or voiced doubts about your sexuality or faithfulness. Although maybe you shouldn’t be surprised. Marcus is a very thoughtful, rational man. Suddenly you don’t feel anxious at all, a little sheepish for your internal crisis, but the anxiety has melted away into utter affection for the man in front of you. 

“Simple as that.” Marcus promises, leaning in to kiss you softly. 

[tonowarislut]

RHEA RIPLEY X READER

! Soft Content, a bit of cussing, use of her real name !

English is not my first language, sorry for eventual errors

Orlando, Florida means one thing... TRAFFIC JAM.

"Hey babe i'm stuck in the traffic...shit this bastard!" said an upset Demi.

"What happened?" You asked worried shifting your phone to the other ear.

"Oh nothing babe just a fucker cutting my way with his scooter" answered the wrestler

"I always wondered how this type of people have a license, they are a living danger jeez" you said

"Yeah i should've run over him and his stupid scooter" replied the girl

"Demi! Hahahaha you can't!" My god. She was so funny. You were so lucky to have her as a girlfriend.

Demi thought the same thing. When you first met she was so fascinated, you were so respectful, kind and funny. That's why she decided to get to know you.

Where you met? On backstage 2 year ago, during a short interview. You were the interviewer.

You asked something like her favorite holiday, biggest pet peeve, fan crush, biggest fear...

Since the atmosphere during the interview was to her liking, light, she decided to exchange numbers.

The rest happened fast.

Becoming friends, be there for just a (favorite cafè beverage) or a serious topic like her brake up with his ex boyfriend or her matches.

You had so much fun with her and then, some months later you fell in love. You adored her.

She was always there for you and you for her.

At first you didn't say anything, you just wanted to be near the wrestler as a friend i mean.. she was heterosexual you hadn't a chance but then you decided to tell her because she was becoming a really important and special person in your life.

You just couldn't give up your romantic feelings so you needed Rhea to reject you to move on or the opposite.

Flashback

You were at the wrestler house, on the couch, for a movie night.

Yeah movie night. You become so close that every Saturday possible you would come to her house to watch a movie. From horror to comedy movies.

"Demi i need to tell you something" you said nervously worried

Rhea looked in your eyes and asked you, worried as well "Yeah, tell me... Is everything okay Y/n?"

You nodded "Yes! Everything is fine but i'm a little nervous. I know how to say this but i don't know how you will take it, i want to tell you without you excluding me from your life. I care too much now, i'd be sad if you left me "

Demi took your hands and played with your fingers to relax you "Don't worry darling i won't leave you..." Then you saw her gasp and say "No! No Y/n you traitor. I know what you did, where this is going"

You died in the spot. Fuck. You were fucked.

"You, you watched the new Dragonball film without me, like we promised" she continued saying.

"What? Ahahahah No! Demi! You almost gave me a heart attack" you said slapping her tattooed toned arm.

"Agh it's all so easy and hard at the same time! Okay i'll tell you" she squeezed your hands in reassurance and after looking at her beautiful eyes you find the courage "I-I simply love you Demi, not only as a friend"

Her expression calmed for a second and then she gave you a big smile.

"I do too" she answered you, her thick Australian accent showing.

At this point you didn't know what made you go more crazy, if her answer or the accent you loved.

You blinked and screamed low "WHAT?! REALLY?! But i thought you.."

She laughed and said "Yeah. It was a surprise for me too. I realized it last month when you were being cute to the barista, when i saw her gay panic i though 'I can relate' "

Whispering you repeated her words not believing it "Gay panic?"

You went red. You were excitedly and positively embarrassed.

Demi "yeah"

You "Are you Bi?"

Demi "Yeah i'm"

You "I thought...i thought"

Demi "Me too but here i'm. Not a big thing. Love is love. I only know that i love talking and spending time with you and to tell you the truth i'm dying to kiss you. Can i kiss you? "

You "Yeah! Of cour-"

She hugged and kissed you sweetly. You then sit on her lap, grabbed gently her hair and deepened the kiss.

Finally you were kissing your beloved Demi Bennett and your stomach was feeling it all. Spinning and twisting.

After the kiss you rested your forehead on hers and smiled, she did the same.

You were so happy.

You hugged her neck and told her "I love you, i love youu" she laughed, rubbing your back and answered "me too babe"

That's how the answers to that song you often listened and related were answered.

What song? More than a friend by Girli

[olderthannetfic]

/726901861182996480/ a lot of the Richard Siken response is honestly so homophobic, trying to come up with some sinister reason for why a gay man would be interested in writing or reading sexy fanfic about attractive men in a TV show. There was a viral post going around here by some person with a Stranger Things username (not insinuating that fandom is especially weird or anything, just that I remember this person had one of the characters from that show as their username) that suggested he was a creep or groomer or something because he had not responded well to a teenager basically wanting him to do her homework for her, but “he happily writes fanfic of shows for her age demographic” (or something like that) which is both a truly bizarre description of Supernatural, a show that’s always been aimed at adults even if it also has a fair number of teenage fans, but also is really clearly trying to invoke some sort of Groomer Panic in a time when that’s rising as a form of violent homophobia toward LGBTQ+ people especially those who are AMAB. And it’s just such a bizarre statement: even if we were talking about a drama that was aimed at teenagers, in what ways is it “groomer” for an adult to watch this show (lol, on the website that is full of adults freaking out over kids’ shows) or for that adult to find the adult characters played by adult actors attractive enough to write sexy fanfic about them? It’s just really obviously reaching for an excuse to call a gay man a groomer.

In general, I feel like this website has a serious problem (it’s been the case at the very least since the panic over CMBYN, and before anyone gets pissy, I’m not talking about anyone taking issue with the content of the film itself, but the people making weird insinuations about gay/bi men for liking it or “the gay community” for embracing it or over the bi male novel author’s own sexuality or reasons for writing it, etc.) where a lot of people who are not gay/bi men think it’s okay for them to make weird homophobic assertions about it, and generally not bother to question their homophobic beliefs about gay and bi men, because they themselves are some other kind of LGBTQ+. I’m a cis lesbian and a lot of this particular seems to come from cis lesbians and bi women, often trying to couch it in a general sort of skepticism that women as a marginalized group might have toward men as a privileged group, but then it only ever seems to be directed at men who are also marginalized such as gay/bi men (and also MOC) and specifically for things that are a result of those marginalized identities and that don’t affect women — NOT a situation where a man is using his marginalized identity as an excuse for misogyny or anything like that. Anyway, people need to knock that shit off. Not every person in the LGBTQ+ community has the same experience, and being, say, a cis woman who is queer doesn’t necessarily make you any better of an authority on gay or bi men’s lives than cishet people if you aren’t making an effort to talk to them or read stuff by them or learn about their lives, and certainly doesn’t mean you can’t be homophobic toward them — just like how in turn, queer men can be bigoted toward lesbians and/or bi women. I don’t understand how people can be aware of other kinds of intra-LGBTQ+ bigotry — cis gay or bi people being transphobic, gay people being biphobic, etc. — and not be aware that this is also a thing that can happen from other LGBTQ+ people toward gay men.

And being ANY kind of queer absolutely does not give you a get out of jail free card for buying into and disseminating the moral panics about groomers, “kink at pride,” “drag is problematic and always sexual” etc. which are used by the right wing to hurt all of us. This was bad enough in like 2018 as part of the perennial brain worms people on this website have about Pride (that are because way too many of them don’t leave their houses and actually go to a Pride parade) or when people could plausibly believe that “groomer” was purely about shipping discourse and maybe the occasional actually kind of creepy older adult in fandom spaces who spends a little too much time glomming onto teens specifically. But in 2023 you don’t really have any excuse for not being aware of how those terms have broken containment and are now part of regular right-wing propaganda, and particularly a concerted right-wing campaign to try to re-mainstream homophobia in places where it had become socially taboo. Your discomfort around a real adult gay man just enjoying fanfiction, which does not affect you, is not justified and you need to work through that. Using terms like “groomer” for fucking fandom discourse when it’s come to mean what it does in the broader culture is just completely morally reprehensible. Get a fucking grip

--

[m3r1m4r5u333]

You know. I've been thinking of the shape of Eddie's sexuality, trying to understand him and. Yeah, I think I've been a bit hasty assuming that all these conflicted relationships with women spell out that he has no interest in women at all.

I think he might be bi... Here's my explanation:

Might be just about the timing of his feelings and about his stubborn persistence to ignore other choices (namely Buck) because the catholic guilt tells him that the only option available is a woman.

But what if it's a case of emotional conflict, more than sexual conflict?

Whatever Eddie's sexuality is, his marriage with Shannon was kinda rushed. They were teenage sweethearts, and then suddenly Shannon was pregnant and the expectation was to marry her and stay with her forever.

But teenage romances do not always last, do they? What if by the time Shannon got pregnant, the relationship just wasn't working purely because weren't a good match as two people - that does not need to have anything to do with sexuality.

But it can still be a suffocating relationship. Being in a relationship with someone with whom you just fight all the time. Even if the sex is good, and she is someone you've known for such a long time. It would still be draining and anxiety inducing.

Especially if you see no other option but to marry her, and stay with her. If you think it's you duty as a man to stay with the mother of your child...ren.

And let's not forget that Shannon leaves and that would break Eddie's trust. Even if Eddie escaped first, to the army, having the same pain mirrored on him would still break his trust.

And by the time Shannon returns... Eddie has met Buck. Maybe that is just such a strong emotional bond that Eddie is after that unable to truly bond with any other woman. Or any other man.

And then Shannon dies. The important thing I'd like to point out about her death is that... It does not even matter what Eddie's sexuality is.

Shannon was one of his closest human relationships. Someone he knew from a young age. His highschool sweetheart, the mother of his child, his friend. That's a lot of shared history. That's someone you grieve, deeply. Even if the marriage wasn't flawless. So do not look at Eddie's grief as a way to figure out his sexuality. He would grieve her deeply, no matter what it was.

Then... Eddie getting back to his feet after that blow...?

Aa said, he is by that point struggling to trust people. They do not stay. Also... He has met Buck. It was an instant connection. Clearly the bond they're forming is a deep one, they are turning into a family.

Expect... He hasn't really figured out that men, too, can be an option for him. So when people start urging him to return to dating... He does, even if his heart is not in it.

He pushes aside the bond with Buck. Why wouldn't he?

At that point he thinks that Buck is totally unavailable. Straight. And also ...what about religion? What about his family's expectations? And what if dating a man would cause hardship for Christopher - whose childhood has already been a tough one. So women it is, even if he's already fallen for someone and tries to ignore it.

And then there's the clusterfuck that is Eddie's relationship with Ana. On the surface it looks good.

But Eddie pushed himself to date. He does not love her. But just like with Shannon, he feels like dating equals marriage. That's the catholic guilt urging him on. Marriage, marriage, marriage.

So Eddie feels trapped... Starts having panic attacks.

Again. That does not automatically mean he's gay. It can just be that he's denying his true feelings and trying to date and get serious with someone he doesn't love. And he does realise that it is getting very serious. Ana won't even leave his home. People are talking about marriage.

And then she visits Eddie at the firestation with Chris and Eddie's carefully compartmentalized worlds collide. Because it's like she isn't even in the same room... When Buck is there.

And this cycle just keeps repeating. Must date... Can't date Buck. Dying inside. Dating feels like performing because his heart isn't in it.

And then Marisol.

The thing is... It's very tempting to leap to the assumption that Eddie's performance issues here spell "the man is gayyyy".

However. Imagine being a closeted bisexual and finding out your girlfriend was almost a freaking NUN???

That could just as well be the issue here. How can he TRUST her? Nuns aren't exactly the sort of people who join Pride to wave a sign that says "BI rights!", or any of that sort really. Also, so many important people in his life are queer. How does someone like Marisol fit into his life?

Also... Buck comes out. Wtf. Buck COULD be an option, after all?

That would certainly make Eddie's imagination run wild.

And now his trapped in another clusterfuck relationship. Watching someone he's so drawn to date another man... While he, a closeted queer, dates a nun who just moved in.

Yeah.

Edit. Not to mention, the show already did "a closeted married gay man" storyline. I think "Bi Eddie" would really be a more original story now.

Bi erasure is real, and Eddie is exactly the sort of closeted adult bisexual that slips notice in real life, too.

A straight-looking marriage can be very much genuine. But not actually a sum of two straight people.

[phoenixexho]

9-1-1 Fic WIP

Lena laughed, “Maybe you’re just gay.”

“Ha ha. But I’m being serious here. I don’t know what my issue is. I mean she’s the perfect woman for me.” He dodge out of the way of one of her incoming punches.

“I never met her but she’s fucking gorgeous. Like insanely so. You lost big time.”

“Gee thanks, you really know how to make a guy feel better.” He landed a particularly hard kick to her side knocking her balance for a moment. “Yeah, she’s pretty.” He said, stepping back out of her space. “Her and Chris got along so well, I feel bad for taking her away from him.”

“You feel bad about your son not being able to see your ex? Not about the breakup?”

“Ugh I don’t know Lena.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I do feel bad about the breakup. I miss her, but I was having panic attacks. Like every time I thought about a future with her I just…”

He shook his head, squaring back up. Lena hesitantly matched his stance, she probably wanted to stop and have this conversation. But that was one thing he loved about Lena, she wasn’t the touchy feely type, if he didn’t want to talk about feelings with her, he didn’t have to.

“Maybe I’m just not over Shannon. Being with Ana didn’t ever feel as comfortable as being with her. I don’t expect all my relationships to feel the same, I’m pretty sure it’s normal for them not to but that would sort of make sense.”

Lena scoffed, “What do you mean you're ‘pretty sure that’s normal’?” her tone lightheartedly mocking.

“Ana was only my second girlfriend” He admitted, suddenly a bit embarrassed.

“Shit, dude. You married your first girlfriend ever?” She sounded shocked.

He shrugged, “I got her pregnant. Not like I had much of a choice.”

“So you didn’t want to marry her?”

“I- I probably wouldn’t’ve married her if she didn’t get pregnant, no. But I loved her. I loved her a lot. And I think she might have been the only one I ever could marry. I don’t know that I’ll ever find someone I feel that comfortable around again.”

“Marriage isn’t about comfort, it’s about love.”

“Yeah, but you can’t marry someone you have panic attacks over a future with either. There’s gotta be comfort too.”

“Usually comfort comes with love.”

“Yeah. Well I don’t think I loved her either if I’m honest with myself.”

Lena didn’t say anything.

Eddie sighed, “Look, I don’t understand it so don’t expect an explanation. But I just kept waiting for the feelings to come and they never did. I mean, she’s everything I’ve been looking for, she’s so good with Chris and yet I never felt a thing for her.”

“Why’d you ask her out then?”

“I just said? She’s everything I’ve been looking for and she was interested in me. Why wouldn’t I have?”

He couldn't quite read Lena’s expression, something akin to pity in her eyes, “Why’d you ask Shannon out?”

He cocked his head at her, “Uhh I didn’t. She asked me out. We were best friends. I loved her before we even went on our first date. Not really something I can re-create. I know love takes time, it did with Shannon, that time just passed before we dated.”

“Sure, yeah. Why didn’t you ask her out then?”

He shrugged, “Never thought about it. I didn’t really put my feelings into context until she asked I guess.”

“You don’t have to question your feelings like that when you actually have a crush on someone.”

“Lena, what are you trying to say? I loved her. I have never doubted that for a second. I loved being married to her.”

“The marriage you spent running away because you didn’t want it?”

“I was a kid, I wasn’t ready, and I lost her by the time I finally was ready.”

“And I am sorry for that. But…god please don’t kill me for saying this. Are you sure your love for her was romantic?”

“Lena, she was my wife.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It should be!”

“Look, Eddie, I’m trying to help. So just like, hear me out a second. For a long time I thought I liked men, I came out as bi before I realized I’m a lesbian. Society has these expectations of us. Especially for women, but knowing the bit I do about the way you grew up, you can probably relate more than a majority of men. We’re expected to fit inside this box, we grow up hearing what our relationships are supposed to look like and it gets hard to separate what you’re ‘supposed’ to want from what you actually want. But when I really sat down to think about it, I just liked the idea of being with a man, the way it made me seem ‘normal’ to an outsider. It wasn’t an easy realization but I am so much happier now that I’m not trying to be something I’m not.”

“Lena...”

“I’m not saying I know better than you do. I just want you to consider it.”

“I’m not- I thought you were joking?”

“I was, but then you started talking and it sounded familiar.”

“Well you’re wrong.”

“Okay.” She didn’t look like she believed him but dropped it anyway.

[kindestofkings]

a mastermind [1]

ryan mcmahon x reader

faceclaim:phoebe bridgers

authors note: k so this is kinda an all over the place fic but I had a lot of fun making it so ENJOY! @orangeinecstasy a fellow ryan appreciator, thanks for the brainstorming 🫡

2020

yourusername

liked by rass75 and others

yourusername oi have you listened to NOACF yet?? theres something special in tracks 8,9,10 and 17 or should I say someone 👀

view all other comments

1975fan1 wow can't believe the 1975 broke their own no collabs rule for matty's girl of the week

yourusername you seeing this ratty? Im your girl of the week 😍😍 trumanblack wait JUST one week?? yourusername yeah so short! better cheat on me quick xxx 1975adam I just dont get you two...

rass75 celebration pints?

yourusername like you need any excuse hahah

trumanblack they're ALL special tracks thank you very much.

1975_fanbase the tumblr gays just overloaded thanks!

trumanblack anything for the cause 👍👍👍

ynfan1 really not a 1975 fan but jesus christ 2005 is so amazing, I just bought the album!

bedfordanes75 studio time was sick can we please do it again

yourusername I do need a producer for my next album...

ryanmcmahon_15 just added to their story!

replies:

elijahhewson haha man you good? bobbyskeetz new day same crush inhalerfan1 omg you being a yn is everything!

2022

the1975

liked by yourusername and others

the1975 I'm in love with you. out now.

view all other comments

rass75 🖤🖤

yourusername its good to be back boys

pollymoney so right I am in love with yourusername

yourusername stop im blushin so hard rn heheh

trumanblack loser

yourusername lover* trumanblack eh alright then

ynhealytruther ahhh I missed you guys so much, such a hot couple

1975fan1 since when have they confirmed they're dating??

ynhealytruther

liked by ynfan2 and others

ynhealytruther this is confirmation right?? they HAVE to be dating

view all other comments

ynfan1 ah I really hope not he's kinda old for her no?

1975fan2 yeah tbf it is like 10 years or something...

1975fan1 I hope so they are the definition of bi panic

1975fan2 ew hope not shes kinda ugly

ynhealytruther absolutely no yn slander excepted here! move on with your hate

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername someone just said stop writing songs about sad things and blowjobs. best joke I've ever heard!

view all other comments

trumanblack over my dead boy

yourusername pleaseeee dont tempt me with a good time 😍

1975fan1 are you guys dating?? just confirm it already

1975fan2 class music video!!

ynfan1 please date someone else, hes too old for you!!

bobbyskeetz just added to their story!

man's (celeb) crush is in a relationship (we think) so he's turning to the drink 😔

replies:

inhalerfan1 its yourusername isn't. cause same joshjenkinson_ cause there was defo a chance before hand!

ynfanclub

liked by ynhealytruther and others

ynfanclub guys I'm at yourusernames's secret session ah! look this is her face when people asked if she was dating matty. adorble!!! and THEN HE CAME OUT AND THEY SANG JESUS CHRIST 2005

view all other comments

ynhealytruther oh what a day !!!

ynhealytruther my literal parents

ynfan1 hes literal so old ewww

trumanblack

liked by yourusername and others

trumanblack just friends.

view limited comments

yourusername dw guys he checked my id AND sang robbers beforehand !!

rass75 have you two ever been serious about anything in your lives? yourusername what do you mean I'm taking this job of being matthew healy's controversially young alleged girlfriend VERY SERIOUSLY 😤 trumanblack serious is my middle name mate 😍🔥🤠😎 rass75 why did I even ask....

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername Ireland I am in you. and loving you as per usual! my (second) favourite Irish artist asked me to stop by at his home gig 😢 so so honoured andrew <3

view all other comments

ynfan1 I cant believe this, I'M GOING TO HIS SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

lucydacus parents.

ynfan2 you said it.

inhalerfan1 bestie for research purposes I need to know who's your fav??

yourusername hmmm research purposes you say .... 🤔 inhalerfan1 ahhh hi omgomgomgomg hello

bobbyskeetz huh @ryanmcmahon_15 see this?

yourusername just added to their story!

replies:

inhalerfan1 OH FUCK YES I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!! inhalerfan1 thank you for answering my question &lt;3 elijahhewson honoured! are you here long? we've a drummer who's a big fan of yours, we could all link up for drinks ? ↳ hi! sounds so fun, I'm here till saturday actually so i've got time! presuming you guys know the best spot for a pint 👀 ↳ elijahhewson sir mcmahon knows the place!

joshjenkinson_ just added to their story!

replies:

ryanmcmahon_15 im never coming down from this. and I'll never stop talking about it

elijahhewson still havent recovered from the incredibly girlish scream he let out hahah

bobbyskeetz a king, ill never question him again

yourusername

liked by trumanblack and others

yourusername psa: offically go ON THE RECORD that I am not dating anyone of these wonderful human beings that are my friends. although they are very beautiful and even hotter, we're all just a homies that are a lil bit fruity 💅

view all other comments

trumanblack wait what?? I thought we were married? what am I telling the kids ???

yourusername tell em their mother is in her hot girl era and their dad's a LOSER

bedfordanes75 you are such a mystery, how does your brain work 🤔

ynhealytruther nooooooo NO say sike rn RIGHT NOW

1975fan1 yay! theres still a chance 😎

inhalerfan1 oh this is really feeding my delusions hehehe

yourusername just added to their story!

y'all are gonna be so proud I'm off to go SOCIALISE with NEW people ahh 🔥🔥

replies:

trumanblack ooh is this the drinks with bono's sons band? ↳ yourusername you betcha, trading in the nepo baby in my life for a newer model xx rass75 I cannot believe you manifested this. go get that celeb crush ↳ yourusername welll if you insist ! ynfan1 you are soooooo me coded hahahha

AHH how we doing?? Go read part two please 🫶🏼

part 2

[axel-ambassador]

Its 4 am for me and I just wanna talk about why poly shipping is so good especially in Total drama.

TD is such a unique show that is able to get away with having an extreme abundance of characters, and by extension, ships, without it coming across as overbearing. Like name a show with over 100 characters that you know the name and personality of. It's an extremely impressive feat.

That said with so many characters there are so many different shipping opportunities. Sometimes the writers give two characters really good chemistry as friends or enemies and the fans take it to the next level. Sometimes the writers completely fumble the potential they have and the fans pick it up from there. Sometimes there are rare pairs that in context make no sense but fans make them work and that's so cool.

Anyway back to my point. I personally hate needless drama, in real life and in fiction. Fiction especially because typically said drama involves character derailment and general disappointment for the fans of said characters involved.

My point is that I hate the love triangle. I hate the drama it caused. I hate how predictable it was. I hate that it was an arc spread over multiple seasons starting in season 2 and ultimately lead to nothing by the end of season 5. I hate how such a lazy trope is what defined Gwen, Duncan, and Courtney's characters for a multitude of years only for it to mean nothing, and I'm not exaggerating, nothing, by the end of All Stars; their last canonical appearances.

Duncney was destined to break up after island, that's not what I have an issue with. Duncan didn't have to frickin cheat and drag Gwen in a long with him. I love Gwuncan in concept, I really do, but the terrible execution of it which directly contributed to the down fall of both characters sours the memory and idea of the honestly awesome relationship between two of the most popular characters in the entire series.

And then All Stars rolls around and watching it as a Gwen and Courtney fan is like getting a warm embrace, two incredible characters are finally on good terms, only for that embrace to become a suplex, Sundae Muddy Sundae. So now you're on the ground feeling hurt and quite betrayed. And then the realization that it all was for nothing, Gwen and Duncan breaking up despite them getting together being such a huge plot point, Gwen and Courtney being back to square one despite a whole seasons worth of investment in their relationship, character derailment up the goddamn wazoo on all 3 ends, is like the show consecutively spitting in your face.

You wanna know how all of this frustration, pain, and shitty writing could have been avoided? Poly shipping.

Duncan and Courtney have a serious talk about their relationship, how it's incredibly toxic and they need to smooth things out if they want to progress as a couple.

Gwen over here having a bi panic as, oh no, maybe she likes Duncan more than she thought, and she's also slowly falling for his girlfriend since they've had no one but each other to talk to for half a season.

Courtney coming to terms with huh maybe she's not as straight as she thought and how Gwen calms her in a way Duncan never could.

Meanwhile Duncan realizes he likes Gwen for the opposite reasons he likes Courtney. Courtney knows how to push his buttons and he loves how much it drives him crazy. Gwen is much more down to earth but is just as chaotic and a rebel as he is.

They don't kiss in the confessional in London. They talk. Jesus Christ if there's one thing the characters in this God forsaken show don't know how to do it's fuckin communicate. Especially in relationships.

They come to the conclusion that they like each other, and they both like Courtney. So they go and talk to Courtney, and Tyler can do whatever the hell it is he planned on originally.

So there you go. What was meant to be an informative post on poly shipping turned into a rant and ultimately sloppy fix of the love triangle.

Back to my original point I was trying to make but got side tracked. Polyshipping is a multi shippers heaven. As a multi shipper, it's so much easier to make everyone date instead of just picking which ship I like more.

There are characters with great chemistry that would never be considered canon, Gwourtney, Alenoah, Gweather, Heathney, Nowen, I could go on. There's obviously an overlap in some of those.

I love Gwourtney, but Gweather and Heathney are so cool too. I don't know which one to pick. The great thing is that you don't have to pick with Gweathney. Or Gwuncaney. Or Alenowen. Or Aleheathcan.

There is so much potential with so many characters in this show that it can be challenging to figure out which dynamics you love best and which to pick from.

Not only does polyshipping make that easier but also hella more painless and comical in terms of character interactions.

Thank you for your time and I'm sorry.

[tarabyte3]

Favorite sex scene of Andy’s

First, I'm going to take this opportunity to clearly state: I will never post any gifs or photos of any of Andy's sex scenes OR of him nude because I don't want my account to get nuked. This is my space and I love it here, so I'm not about to take that risk.

Now to answer your question: Andy doesn't really do sex scenes (or doesn't pick roles with them, which I respect), and he especially rarely does serious ones. So that leaves only 1 option, which is great because it's a fantastic one:

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll

Andy Serkis as Ian Dury AND Naomie Harris as Denise Roudette? Two insanely attractive people in a sexy, funny scene where they're both showing some skin? 😍🫠 Immediate bi panic.

It also helps to know that they're clearly friends IRL because he's done several other projects with her (Venom: Let There Be Carnage and Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle), and I adore that!! Just look at them 🥺