#x-files fanfiction exchange

[642stories]

Story #53, In the Silence of the Night 2/2

This is The X-Files fanfiction. Read it on AO3

She has no doubts that Mulder knows how to touch her mind.

She suspects that he keeps under wraps a few tricks on how to touch her soul.

But how is it possible that he’s never touched her body before, yet he can play it like a fine musical instrument? With unerring precision, he recognizes all the right keys to touch and strings to pull. Her body, mind, and soul sing the most sonorous chords all at once. Only in his arms.

If he can make her vibrate all the way down to her toes with just one kiss, what's going to happen when they take it to the bedroom? Oh, boy.

Scully straddles his lap and in a matter of seconds, their clothes end up in heaps on the floor of her living room.

Fingertips, calloused and tender, map the soft curves and hard muscles; eyes, hazel, and baby-blue, trail over the cream and bronze canvases of skin; lips deliciously full, devour hungrily over each other.

In his hands, he holds a microcosm of the ocean of pleasure that comes to wash her in tides.

With tender fingers, he caresses the undersides of her breasts - thumbs sliding over the hard nipples - then moves them down to rest on that sweet spot where her waist goes to her hips, and eventually encircles her back. Their bodies touch head-to-toe and the sweet fragrance of her skin fills him to the brim with each inhale.

“God, you are so beautiful,” Mulder whispers, tightening his arms around her and kissing her soft, fruit-scented hair.

“Should we take it to the bedroom? You know, there’s a bed in this apartment.”

In reply, he dips his nose into her neck and nips gently on the sensitive skin beneath her ear, hands still roaming along the pale expanse of her back. As they settle on the luscious cheeks of her lace-covered bottom, he gives them a firm squeeze and lifts his head off her shoulder to look into her eyes.

“I want to take you to the ocean, Scully.”

Scully smiles, her eyes crinkling with amusement. That’s clearly not what she expected to hear.

“Ocean?”

“Yes. To spend a day on the beach. To see the milky skin of your arms and shoulders become crowded with peach-colored freckles, and your russet hair lighten in the sun.”

“You are such a romantic, Mulder.” She chuckles, rubbing his nose affectionately in an Eskimo kiss.

“Should we call Skinner and tell him we are going on holiday together?”

“Mulder, at this point you can ask me to call Skinner and tell him I believe in aliens, and I’ll blithely agree. You have me that high on dopamine.”

One of her hands drifts down his sternum and brushes an impressive bulge through the rough denim of his pants. Mulder whimpers.

“Can we please not bring Skinner into our bed?” Scully murmurs into his ear, and the tone of her voice alone makes him squeal.

“Deal.  And we are on the sofa, not in bed.”

“Oh, I stand corrected. Can we please go to bed and not talk about Skinner?”

Mulder slides his hands up her back, over her shoulder blades and neck, until they reach her face and cup her cheeks. His stare suddenly turns serious.

“I know I’m at the risk of sounding a wee bit cynical here, but I don’t wanna be just your easy lay, Scully. This celebration of ours… is it just a one-time thing, or do you think you can… we can… feelings might be involved here?”

There’s a pause of a length of a heartbeat that feels like it lasts hours. Time stretches. That's Mulder’s cue to lay out his cards and just go along with what’s coming next.

“Because I love you, Scully.”

He would expect her to frown. To jump off his lap and put on her clothes back. To ask him to leave and forget everything that’s happened tonight.

He hopes for a kiss instead. 

He’s too afraid to believe she could say it back. Yet, she wouldn’t be his Scully if she didn’t keep him guessing.

“Mulder, I think, we both can agree, by and large, that feelings have been involved here from the very beginning.” At that, she frames his face in return, their foreheads touching.

“There’s some pretty hard evidence here.” She looks down briefly to illustrate the point, and Mulder lets out a nervous chuckle as he follows her gaze.

“That’s quite an astute observation.” He manages to say before her lips land on his in the most sensual kiss he’s ever experienced.

“I see you, Mulder. Always.” She says tethering him with her touch and her words.

“You won’t run for the hills in the morning?”

“I won’t run for the hills in the morning.”

“OK. That quelled my fears a little bit.”

“I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“I’m totally on board with this course of action, Scully, but maybe we should dial it down a bit.” She knits her brows, clearly confused.

“I mean, you are still recovering and…” The rest of the sentence dies, as she chooses that moment to grind against him, and Mulder loses any coherent train of thought.

“You know that you can’t really leave me hanging here, Mulder. Bear in mind the potential repercussions.”

“Oh, Scully, you know how to tug at my heartstrings.”

“I’m kind of hoping to tug at something else here.”

There's some more kissing and smiling. The night is young and promising.

Much much later, in the darkness of her bedroom, they lie under the covers, their bodies satiated and limbs intertwined, and Mulder, still slightly lightheaded, asks:

“Scully, how much would you give me on a scale of ten?”

Somewhere around his armpit, she sighs tiredly, mumbling half-sleepily: “You serious?”

Her eyes are still closed and he nods quite vigorously just to let her know how damn serious he is.

“Well, I think it’s fair to say… In aggregate, I’d score you six points, Mulder.”

“Six? You kidding?”

“You can’t deny a woman four years of sex and emerge unscathed. You’ll have to make it up to me.”

“Oh, I will, Scully. Believe me, I will. Do you think we can start right now?

“Right after I get my beauty sleep. Good night, Mulder.”

“G’night, Scully. Love you.”

She doesn’t say anything in turn, and Mulder thinks that she has fallen asleep and tightens his arms around her. It's more than enough for now, he's happy as he is. The night is silent around them and he closes his eyes, ready for the sleep to claim him.

“I love you too,” breaks through the haze of his dream right before he falls asleep with a content smile on his lips. 

[agentwhalesong]

Almost Everything She Ever Wished For

Also posted on AO3 | 3,306 words

Written for the On The Run, @xfilesfanficexchange, based on @kyouryokusenshi's prompt to explain how Scully became a doctor and how her name was cleared.

Enjoy ♥

She didn’t know how long she had been looking outside the kitchen window, watching life as it happened right in their backyard and thinking of her own. It was his presence right behind her more than his voice that woke her from her trance.

"Hey babe," he said, giving a quick kiss to the top of her head as he reached for the cupboard above her.

If he noticed anything off about her, he didn’t show.

"How was church?” he said, pouring himself some milk. “Did you say hi to Jesus for me?"

"I always do," she said, smiling.

“Aren’t you going to have breakfast?”

“I’ve already eaten, sorry for not waiting today.”

She leaned back on the sink while he sat, and uneasiness took over her as she wondered how she would broach the subject.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or will I have to guess?” He said, after a few moments of silence. “And if you say you’ve just seen Bigfoot outside that window, I’ll know you’re lying because he doesn’t come out of his cave this time of the year.”

This silly, silly man, she thought fondly as she laughed, but her smile slowly faded as she remembered she had a question to answer.

"Something happened today… Father Henderson approached me. It seems he has noticed me, despite my efforts."

"And what did he say?"

Mulder’s actual question was 'What did YOU say?', but she pretended not to have read between the lines.

"He said he's been curious about me. That he's seen me alone every time, and he was wondering if I wanted to do some volunteer work with the community, to kind of mingle and make friends. There's a local hospital in need of people to read to children and some other activities like that, so..."

What she didn't tell Mulder was that the father sensed loneliness in her, some sort of longing to be part of something, which was why he had approached her in the first place. What she didn't say was that Father Henderson was right in his evaluation. It wasn’t Mulder��s fault, of course; she had signed up for this when she decided to jump in that car with him without looking back. She would do it all over again without a second thought, but sometimes she wished she could also have a life outside their pretty, yet unremarkable, little house.

"What did you answer?" He interrupted her thoughts.

His face had changed slightly while she spoke, and she wouldn't have noticed it if she hadn't known him for over a decade; wouldn't have noticed if they hadn't been together day and night for the past couple of years.

"Don't worry, I wasn’t reckless. We are still wanted, no matter if it's been ages since we last sensed we were being followed."

He was quiet for a while, looked at the plate in front of him, bit his lower lip, and all of those small gestures made her look at her own feet, ashamed for having even entertained the idea.

"You should say yes," he finally said, making her look up again and meet his eyes. They were kind eyes. Full-of-love eyes.

"But Mulder…"

She didn't even know how to start a protest, so she just left her sentence unfinished, giving him room to complete his thoughts.

"He doesn't know anything about me, right? So, in his mind, you're a single woman who lives somewhere in this town, somewhere he doesn't know either. I see no harm as long as you're careful, which I know you always are."

She considered his words for a while, wondering if it could really be that simple. Maybe it could.

“Will you…” she hesitated a little before continuing. “... Will you be okay without me?”

He locked eyes with her, and there she read ‘what kind of question is that?’, but the words that came out of his mouth were lighter, bitter less.

“Of course I will. What makes you think that I won’t?”

She shook her head.

“I guess I’m just saying that we haven’t been apart for a single day since we started this life together. Finding ourselves alone, even if for only some hours, can be challenging. Scary, even.”

“Are you scared?”

She hesitated a little, trying to admit it to herself.

“Maybe, I don’t know.”

“You’ll be fine too, Scully. I promise. And if you’re not, you can always say you don’t want to go anymore.”

She nodded, considering this worst case scenario that wasn’t at all that bad. It was this way of his, of filling her heart with hope, that still made her weak in the knees from time to time.

“I love you,” she said in a low voice as a response.

He smiled at her, his eyes surprised upon hearing those words. It’s not like she never said it, but it wasn’t exactly very frequent either.

“You’re cute when you get all sappy,” he said, smirking.

She couldn’t help chuckling.

“Mulder, shut up.”

She then walked towards him, kissed his cheek, and left the room. She still needed some time to think, but maybe she would go talk to father Henderson the following day.

—------------------------------------

FIVE MONTHS LATER

She sighed as she stared at the card in her hand for the millionth time. This definitely wasn’t what she was expecting when she started volunteering, and yet it felt like it was something for which she was secretly hoping.

Mulder entered the bedroom just then, giving her no chance of hiding the small piece of paper that would probably change her life. She had been hiding it enough anyway; it was time for the truth.

She took a deep breath before looking at him.

“We need to talk,” she said quietly.

“Uh oh, don’t tell me you want to file for divorce.”

Close enough, she thought, but didn’t say anything. Did her eyes show what was going on in her mind though?

“Okay, you didn’t laugh or say anything about us not being married, so now I’m scared.” He sat beside her on the bed slowly. “What did I do?”

She interlaced their fingers, stroked his thumb with her own, then let go and silently handed him the business card.

His eyes went over the name of the doctor and his occupation a few times, but she couldn’t read his mind this time.

“Is this guy someone you’re interested in or…”

She chuckled in spite of herself, shaking her head. He ran one of his hands through his forehead as if saying ‘phew’, which made her laugh a little. She had to keep going, though.

“Remember that boy whose life I saved about two months ago, the one who went into cardiac arrest while I read to him?”

He just nodded, waiting.

“It turns out the board of directors have kept a close eye on me since then.”

Mulder clenched his jaw, probably unconsciously. He was starting to get worried, she could tell.

“Does that mean we are not safe anymore?”

She shook her head, although the answer to that would really depend on how you looked at the whole situation.

“It means they took an interest in me, enough to think that I would be a good addition to their medical team. Well, not me exactly, because all of that happened to Katherine, not Dana.”

“And what does Dana want to do?”

“I have to give them an answer by the end of the week.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

She sighed and closed her eyes briefly, knowing what she was getting into.

“I want to say yes.”

He averted his gaze to somewhere on the floor, and it took him a long time to say anything afterwards.

“How long have you had to consider this?”

“About a week.”

“And why are you telling me just now?”

“Because I needed to think, and to talk to someone before I made up my mind.”

“You needed to talk to someone? Shouldn’t you be talking to me instead? I mean—” He raised his voice, which kind of startled her for a moment.

She interrupted him before he jumped to conclusions.

“I needed to talk to an attorney, to know what chances I had of having my name cleared without anyone knowing where you are. I needed to know if I could stop being Katherine No-Last-Name and go back to being Dana Katherine Scully.”

Mulder stood up and ran his hands through his face, pacing the room like he always did when he needed to put his thoughts together in a coherent manner. It took him some time to speak again.

“What did this attorney say?”

“She said I have to move out and live by myself for a while to make a convincing case. That means we’ll only be able to start the whole process about a month after I get my own place, just to be on the safe side. They have to actually believe that I regret my life choices and want to repent, so to speak. I will probably be closely watched, followed, my phone may be tapped… well, you know as well as I do what the FBI can do to catch someone on a lie.”

His eyes teared up while he heard her, and he just nodded when she finished her sentence. Then, in a low, hurt voice, he asked.

“Do you regret all your life choices?”

She stood up, got closer, tried to hold his hand, but he withdrew it before their fingers touched completely.

“Mulder, no. I don’t regret a single day. How many times will I have to say that?”

“I’m sorry, Scully, I’m having a hard time believing that right now.”

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and then opened them again, speaking more calmly this time.

“Do they know at the hospital that you are not who you say you are?”

She nodded.

“I had to tell Dr. Mills,” she pointed at the business card that was now on the bed. “My first reaction to his proposal was to say I couldn’t, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. So, the next time I went to the hospital, he approached me and I just… told him.”

Mulder’s face changed into a are-you-kidding-me? expression, because now he was probably thinking she had compromised their location and everything they worked hard to hide. It pissed her off that he would think something like that, as if he didn’t know her at all.

“I lied about a few aspects.” She continued, trying not to let her anger show. “He believes the story that I used to be in a relationship with someone who is wanted by the FBI, not that we are still together. But, apparently, this was no big deal to him because he said they can wait for me if I truly want this job. They even offered to let me start as an assistant of sorts while things don’t get solved.”

“You must have made quite an impression.” He scoffed.

The resentment in his voice didn’t let her see it as a compliment. Instead, it made her feel as if she had done it all on purpose, just to hurt him. Her eyes flooded immediately. This wasn’t supposed to go this way.

Her reaction to his words was probably what brought him back from his high of self-pity and anger because his face softened, his eyes moistened, his tongue wet his lips and his voice was low when he spoke.

“Look, I’m not mad that you’re trying to take your life back, you deserve it more than anyone. It’s just not exactly easy to accept that you’re choosing medicine over me. And I guess I never thought we would break up, let alone like this.”

Of course he would get it all wrong.

“Mulder, listen to me.” This time, she grabbed his hand and he allowed it. “We are not breaking up and I’m not choosing medicine over you. We just have to stay apart for a few months until things get cleared. It won’t be easy for either of us, but I would not be doing any of this if it meant I would never see you again. We may have never exchanged vows, but what we have IS until death do us part, do you hear me? Unless you are now having second thoughts about it.”

He stared at her for a moment, digesting her words, then pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. Their foreheads touched, in that comfortable and intimate way they had always done since their early days together.

“I am not having second thoughts.” He whispered. “It is until death do us part for me, too.”

He rubbed his nose against hers. “Promise you’ll come back?”

“I won’t rest until I do.”

He smiled.

“Congratulations, by the way. And I’m sorry for being such a jerk.”

“Thank you.”

Her answer was followed by a kiss, which was eventually followed by clothes on the floor and a slightly creaking bed.

When she woke up the following day, the first thing she did was to go to the hospital and talk to Dr. Mills.

—------------------------------------

THREE MONTHS LATER

She wasn’t yet cleared of all charges, but at least she was allowed to use her own name and act like an assistant at the hospital. It felt like her intern years sometimes, and some of these times she wondered if she wasn’t too old to be doing this. No, she was just tired.

She arrived at her apartment after one of those long days and checked outside the window to see if the usual agents were there to watch her. Strangely, they weren’t. This had become her routine ever since she started the process of being ‘reinstated into society’, and it was so familiar at this point that sometimes she felt like making coffee and taking some to the man and the woman on stakeout duty.

She smiled as she closed the blinds, thinking that she and Mulder could have used some freshly brewed coffee in their days.

Her smile then faded because thinking of Mulder always sent a pang of sadness to her chest.

Not seeing him for the past three months was worse than she had foreseen. She was constantly worried, wondering if he was taking care of himself, if he still had fun watching trash movies on Saturday nights even though she wasn’t there to make fun of them with him. Did he leave his office from time to time or did he start living there so his obsessions would always be close? How often did he think of her? Did he still have any resentments regarding her choices?

She sighed. It was frustrating that she still could do nothing about it.

She had thought of writing him small letters and have her mother deliver them to him, but she quickly changed her mind as she remembered Maggie could also be followed.

So all the notes and letters became journal entries instead. Maybe she would show him someday, maybe she would keep it private. Only the future could tell.

Her mind had traveled so far away that, when the phone rang, she startled.

The woman on the other side didn’t have to state her name for her to know who it was.

“We got it, Dana! No more hiding for you. You are now officially Dana Katherine Scully again.”

Scully’s heart raced, her eyes filled with tears, a huge smile took over her face, and she heard in a dream-like state her attorney’s instructions on what she had to do next . She barely even noticed when she put the phone back on the hook.

No more hiding for you.

She was so happy and so relieved that she cried for a long time, and when she slept that night, she didn’t have any nightmares or woke up every two hours.

It was about time.

—---------------------------------------------------

THREE WEEKS LATER

It took her a while to truly believe she wasn't being watched anymore. Sometimes, she would just drive somewhere far to see if someone followed, to see how safe she was if she were to stay away from her apartment or the hospital. There was never any sign that they hadn't believed her or that she was falling into a trap.

Not that she could, or would, abandon her apartment as if she had never lived there, but she could use it less often, maybe pretend she still lived there when her hours at work required her to be somewhere closer just so she could squeeze in some sleep.

So, trusting her instincts and careful observations, she woke up one day and decided to go home.

The dirt road that led to the house in the middle of nowhere finally came into view, making her heart skip a beat.

Remember to breathe, Dana. She told herself silently.

She was dying to see Mulder, but she was also afraid of what she would find. Was he still the same person she had left all those months ago? Did spending time with himself make him reconsider everything they agreed to before she went away?

In just a few moments, she stopped in front of the porch.

When she got out of the car, he was already waiting at the door, looking a little shy even though a beautiful smile rested on his face.

"Hi", she said, walking slowly towards him.

"Hi", he mumbled back.

It was all they could say before their bodies practically crashed into each other as they hugged so tightly that, if it were possible, they would have merged and become only one person.

She didn’t know how long they stood there before she moved in his arms just enough to look at him properly, analyze his features, plant a light kiss on his so-very-soft lips.

“I promised I would be back,” she whispered, still so close that her mouth brushed against his as she spoke.

Instead of saying something back, he glued his lips to hers, raised one of his hands to the back of her neck and slowly let his tongue meet hers. It was as if they were having their first kiss all over again.

It didn’t take long for his hands to go to her waist and lift her off the floor, prompting her legs to wrap around his hips.

They didn’t say anything as he took her inside, laid her on the couch and kissed every single part of her face, or when they took each other’s clothes off and slowly filled their mouths and hands with nipples, lips, necks and usually hidden skins, while their hearts exploded with emotions and sensations. Mulder’s first words came when he himself came.

“Don’t ever leave me again,” he panted, as he pumped one last time inside her.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she said, breathing into his mouth as he circled her clit in just the right way to help her reach her orgasm in just a few seconds.

As she collapsed onto him, still catching her breath, she whispered.

“So, how’ve you been?”

They both chuckled as they realized they hadn’t exchanged more than a few sentences since she arrived.

“How about we talk about everything on our comfortable bed instead of this old, hard couch?”

“That’s the best idea you’ve ever had,” she joked, kissing his lips once more before getting up.

They went to bed and there they stayed. They had a lot to share with each other and she figured they wouldn’t be getting much rest for the next few days, just the way she wanted it to be.

For the first time in a very long time, she felt as if she had almost everything she ever wished for.

[brokenpieces-72]

Monster!141 x female! Jackalope/wendigo reader

CW/TW: poor eating habits, mentions of eating, mentions of human meat, crying, younger reader, note: in no way am I intending to offend anyone.

This was inspired by both @diejager and @bluegiragi and includes the reader character Hunter. This is also my first fanfiction being posted here and I have a couple to come if this one goes well.

A program is set up for hybrids that are considered difficult to control or dangerous to be around in public. Usually this is when their current living conditions are deemed as unsafe.

A jackalope with little knowledge of their own self fits both sides so locations and positions are set up for them to be in a safe controlled environment to learn how to keep themselves under control.

Price isn’t exactly happy when Laswell brings this to him. He’s not a babysitter and neither are his men. She explains to him there is little to be done and while she doesn’t agree with sending a vulnerable, uneducated, untrained teenager to a military base that deals with monsters, humans and hybrids alike, there isn’t much she can do either. Thankfully she does have some say in it, able to choose who comes on to the base. The files for candidates are sent to Price as well for review and upon looking at yours with a very dark and concerning past, he considers tossing it aside. Then he sees what hybrid you are. Having a few encounters in his past with hybrids like you he figures it would be safer taking you in then letting someone else get to you.

You do receive some training before transferring with a Retainer/handler who watches over you and determines whether you are ready to integrate into society. You aren’t sure if this will really help you join society but you figure it’s better someone taking you in rather than staying in the program. Price intends to put you to work after all and the location isn’t without risk. You’re told there are other hybrids on base, and you assume there will be at least a couple.

The first person you meet is Nikolai, the pilot for the awkward bumpy flight to base. He’s almost twice your height, plenty of people you have met are. You’re not very tall so not surprising, but you aren’t very used to people. Part of the program especially for you is keeping you isolated from most humans. His friendly attitude towards you is a little startling but you warm up to it quickly.

The flight was mostly your retainer setting ground rules and briefing you on what you will be doing. You would be training with him mostly, and doing everything he says. No stuffing your face, meals kept strict, and no seconds or late snacks. Nikolai calls you to the front halfway through the journey and lets you sit next to him. He could overhear your conversation with the retainer, wanted to give you a break from it while wanting to learn more about you.

You don’t have much to say, cause well you haven’t done much on your own. Well you do enjoy drawing, and reading. Sometimes writing is fun but that’s mostly it so far. He tells you a bit about the 141, recounting the small tales but while hinting at what hybrids you’ll be working with.

Soon you land on the base and exit the chopper heading towards the Task Force 141. In front is a dragon hybrid and next to him is a human, both in uniform. Names are exchanged and you’re led inside the base where you meet the others. You notice he’s missing a wing and his tail wrapping around the human’s leg. As a hybrid your instincts tell you what he’s doing. You’re not a massive threat to him being so young, but his body language makes it clear the value he puts in the medic and likely the rest of his men. He read your file, so you can’t blame him for being extra protective. You keep your head down as you’re taken inside with your handler.

You’re introduced to each of the 141 including the human, who asks to do a health assessment before anything else. Your retainer is strongly against this, insisting that you’ve already been cleared and don’t require one. There’s somewhat of a back and forth between them with you simply standing there. Your handler raises his voice and you have to dig your nails into your palm to not run off. You’re wondering if you should offer your own choice or ask someone what you should do while waiting. Price puts it forward that you get a check up so that Hunter can assess your conditions first hand.

You follow Hunter to their station in the infirmary, taking you to a private room. Hunter gets many looks while you follow them from the other soldiers with a couple even following with them to the room. You meet a harpy called Gaz and a werewolf called Soap. They stick closer to Hunter almost in a protective sense. Though each of them give you an acknowledgement. Soap has never smelled a hybrid like you before, and Gaz wasn’t sure what to make of you either. Your rabbit ears and antlers were hardly a cause for alarm though. You weren’t exactly intimidating. Hunter takes you into the private room while the two hybrids wait outside, offering to help them with paperwork and taking you to wherever you need to go next. The examination is very simple, checking to see your vitals, understanding how you worked so Hunter could help you on missions, and learning any instinctual habits you may have.

When Hunter asks you to take off your hoodie and remove your shirt, you do so. Their eyes go wide upon seeing your body. Your retainer’s “work” was evident by your rib cage and flattening stomach.

“When was the last time you ate?” Hunter asks.

When you tell them the last time you ate, they excuse themselves. You wait for about 15 minutes, when there’s a knock telling you to get dressed and come out. Gaz is still there but clearly Soap had left with Hunter. He takes you to a small room for you to bunk in for the next while.

You later find out Hunter had left the room and smacked your retainer for his methods. Even Price had to get involved to keep the two from getting more violent. Hunter is certainly a force to be reckoned with when it comes to patients. The handler believes that limiting your food intake will help you keep control. Hunter doesn’t agree with starving you, but Price can’t really argue with it.

The next while you’re training, and you do everything you can to keep up. Your limits are pushed and Price isn’t about to go easy on you. Partially cause he hopes the retainer will increase your food intake. It’s a lot, and Hunter doesn’t like seeing you running laps and drills knowing you haven’t been eating much. You push yourself hard, not giving in to judgements from humans or the other hybrids. It doesn’t matter if you’re the last or the worst or even fail the most, you keep pushing.

Meals are strict, with small but reasonable portions for you and eating by yourself in your room. For the next while this becomes the routine, with the occasional snack being slid to you by Hunter. It does make sleep difficult and your stomach growls periodically. Soap takes notice right away how bad it is, your stomach is almost like a random alarm for him, that he can’t shut off.

“You hungry?” He asks sarcastically. You shake your head, only for your stomach to object again. Soap rolls his eyes.

“Take a couple.” He says offering you some of his snacks. When you try to turn it down, he starts insisting harder. “Come on, the noise is drivin me bloody mad. Take em, a few won’t kill ya.”

You do so, and you take another couple after. Soon enough he’s slipping you pieces of his snacks when your handler isn’t around, like chips or cookies.

You have to go to school still, off base and some jerks decided to lock in a closet. Despite your protests and pleas they decide to leave you there overnight. You have a few snacks but you can feel yourself getting increasingly hungry, and you know it won’t be long until you lose it. You try your handler but they aren’t picking up. You don’t want to but you call Soap who picks up groggily.

“The hell is callin…” he groans.

“Soap it’s me…I’m really sorry…” there is a quiver in your voice as you talk.

“…kid? The bleeding hell you still doing up? Wait, where the ell are you?”

You explain you’re stuck and hungry and really need help.

“Alright alright…I’m on my way… you need food?”

“Yes.”

He sighs and asks what you want to eat, if there’s any comfort food you have while he’s getting his shoes and pants on.

“Are you mad…” you ask in a small voice he can just barely hear over the phone. He’s been in highschool as a hybrid and had people pick on him, call him a mutt yank at his tail, try to get him in trouble and whatnot.

“I’m mad at the pieces of shite that did this to you. What do you want to eat?” He says. You tell him and wait patiently after he hangs up.

Gaz is woken up, and looks over.

“Was goin on…” Gaz asks.

“Kid is stuck at school. Literally.” Soap says, lacing his shoes.

“She have food?” Gaz mutters rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“No, so I’m getting her some.”

“What she want?” Gaz yawns.

Soap tells him and he orders it for pick up before getting dressed himself.

“What is she still doing at school?” Gaz asked pulling his hoodie on. “Little help?”

Soap helps get Gaz’s wings through the slots on his hoodie as he explains. Gaz can relate. He’s been bullied as well, and hell you’re a kid with a strong will. It’s not fair for you to be pushed so hard only for school to make you feel like shit. They pick up the food and head over to the school.

“Come on.” Soap jogs to the door and tries it. “Mother…they don’t check if anyone’s still inside?”

Gaz takes one of his feathers off and picks the lock. Gaz opens it and Soap shifts and gets in, as soon as he can fit through the door.

“Kid you here?” He yells. Nothing. Gaz comes up behind him.

“I want to make a lassie joke so hard right now.” Gaz admits, while Soap picks up your scent and hurries off up and down the halls, trying to figure out where you are. He starts scratching at a maintenance door. Gaz knocks on it.

“Kid you in there?” He calls.

“Y-yes!” You call back.

“We’re gonna help you okay? Just hold tight.”

“Gaz move.” Soap says. Gaz just barely gets out of the way before Soap manages to smash it in. They find you curled up and clutching your stomach. Gaz flaps away the dust before stepping over the broken remains of the door. He gives you the bag ripping it open and you hands go in quickly. You ravenously eat away at the first thing you get, a still warm hashbrown. One bite and you stand up but Gaz keeps you sitting.

“Don’t choke, finish that first.” He orders. You do as he says a mutter through mouthfuls, “sorry.”

“So what exactly happened?” Soap asks.

“They pulled my ears and kept asking to see my tail… kept telling them I didn’t have one.” You mutter, finishing the hashbrown. “A few of them grabbed me and shoved me in here…kept calling me ‘bunny’ and ‘rabbit’. Said they would stuff me later.”

“No one’s stuffing anything except the assholes that did this and where it don’t shine.” Soap growls. In the dark it’s a little more intimidating with yellow glowing eyes. Gaz stretches a wing around you and gives you another piece of the order to munch on while he helps you out of the room. You go on about how they kept messing with you in various childish ways. The bullies had yanked your ears, played with your antlers and called you a bunny breeder. Gaz and Soap get you into the backseat and encourage you to keep eating.

“You got made fun of by the teachers pet?” Soap asked a little surprised.

“He said I was the new class pet.” You say. “Then he wouldn’t stop saying I had to eat carrots and wasn’t allowed to have any of the snacks I brought.”

“You ignore em?”

“Tried, but then he started telling me I shouldn’t be snacking and had to eat ruffage.”

“Wow…” Gaz says. “You could always threaten to gnaw on his pencils.”

“How’s the food?” Soap calls from the front.

“Good. I should stop though.”

“You almost finished?” Soap says checking on you in the rear view.

“Uh…halfway?” You relay after checking the bags contents.

“Keep eating.” Soap says.

Gaz gives Soap a look.

“One meal won’t kill her.” Soap says quietly.

“Thank you for getting me.” You say.

“Hunter would have my head.”

Sadly your bonding time doesn’t go unnoticed and Price calls you all into the office. Your handler is unhappy you didn’t try contacting him first, and you stay quiet. Price chews out Soap and Gaz for B&E and property damage, until they explain what had happened to you. He’s a bit more lenient but not by much.

You, Soap and Gaz have definitely bonded more and at this point you’ve sort of become the team’s pup. Soap and Gaz teach you to fight hand to hand, and they’re careful with you at first. You’re younger and smaller but you don’t hold back against them. They show you some maneuvers and Gaz uses his hardened feathers for knife training, going slow and giving you the chance to bat away his strikes. Off time is spent with them, getting a chance to go climbing or hanging out in the rec room. Soap teaches you how to play football, and Rudy and Alejandro join in as well. Soap and Alejandro definitely start showing off their speed and strength to the point you and Rudy find it safer to watch from the sidelines with Gaz. One wrong kick makes all your caution warranted, as you have to shove Rudy over and the ball takes off part of your antler and is pierced in the process. Hunter gave Soap a very harsh talking to afterwards, and made sure you were okay.

Your handler over time becomes less and less involved with you but maintains your eating routine. He keeps your training high giving you exercises daily, that keep you busy from dusk til dawn. It’s exhausting and Hunter does express some concern to your handler who eventually gives in and increases your food intake some more.

Soap and Gaz have basically taken over your sparring sessions, keeping you trained and ready for anything. You have found a couple weaknesses when you go one on one. If Soap shifts to werewolf, you can get him with belly rubs.

Rudy had started showing you some tracking skills, and even introduced you to his dog spirits. Both spirits are weary of you at first with the red and black growling while the other stayed close to its vessel protectively. After calming them, Alejandro shifts to a panther or jaguar based on the terrain and becomes the target to track. At first he makes it easy but since you don’t hold back on Soap and Gaz he doesn’t hold back on you. You and Rudy both have to try and find him before he finds you, which is a bit of a 50-50. Your own skills as a hybrid are shown to be useful in more wild and natural terrain. In fact you become the one to be the target and the two of them actually find some difficulty locating you.

“She couldn’t have gotten that far yet…” Rudy is scratching his head, genuinely dumbfounded. Alejandro shifts back next to him looking at his partner.

“Fast learner.” He comments, impressed by your skills.

“Si.” Rudy sighs before jerking forward, hit in the back from behind. “Agh!”

Alejandro checks Rudy’s jacket and finds a stain from a paintball. They both look up and towards where the shot had come from. There they see you behind a tree covered in dirt and mud, trying to hold back the grin on your face. The two men look at you surprised, and even Alejandro is stunned that he couldn’t detect you, while the white and blue cadejo trots over and barks at you, tugging at your clothes with his teeth. The two men look at each other baffled how you got 15 feet away from them without either noticing. Alejandro waves you over to them, while the cadejo playfully tugs at your jacket.

“Fall in corporal, back to base.” He calls over and you get up from your hiding spot. Your legs were dirty and…wet? The ground was damp but you were almost soaked.

“You take a bath Mija?” Alejandro asks crossing his arms.

“No sir.” You answer, shaking your head.

“You’re wet though.” Rudolfo comments, noticing the state of your pants as well.

“Yes sir.” You reply. Alejandro gives a half grin.

“Why are you wet corporal?” He asks.

“The river sir.” You answer. They hadn’t told you about the river nearby, not to mention it was a few clicks further than they had expected you to reach. You take note of their expression and shift slightly in place. “Should I not have…?”

“Por el contrario, you did very well Mija.” Rudolfo says.

“Very good.” Alejandro comments. “You cold?” He asks. You shake your head. There was a chill but it didn’t bother you. They take you back to base.

Missions go fairly well though you are often knocked down. It can be hard when you’re up against many other hybrid creatures. Ghost comes to your aid before any fatal blows can be made, consuming enemies in his shadows when he wasn’t slipping out of them to slit enemy throats. The lieutenant didn’t agree with bringing someone as young as you on missions, and hated that he was playing babysitter half the time. Ghost can sense something off about you though. Maybe it’s your smiling, or your friendliness, of this odd presence that seems to surround you like an aura. Either way, you show yourself to be a fast learner and strong soldier. Your main focus is to incapacitate enemies, even though you’ve been taught where vitals are and how to use a gun and a knife quickly.

“Would make life easier to kill… that’s what soldiers do.” He comments. You look out at the men he’s fed on. You’re quiet thinking for a moment before responding.

“If I killed all of them though…you wouldn’t get to eat as much.” You say with a cheeky smile. His expression doesn’t change.

“Don’t worry too much. Focus on your safety first.”

“Yes sir.” You say losing the smile. He’s not wrong. After that you ask Ghost for help with laying killing strikes. Not in the field but in training. He agrees mainly because you’ve shown promise and a willingness to improve yourself. Knife training with him is rough usually leading to you getting winded and on your back.

The hands on learning is honestly better than anything else though and your exercise routines just become a warm up. You look forward to everything and take everything seriously, asking questions and showing interest in what is presented to you. Weapons training is a bit daunting, as the guns are a bit heavy, but you find your skills work good with unconventional weapons. A slingshot proves strong with you, and even crossbows. Price helps you with improving your poor aim and there are times where you will spend almost an entire night just trying to hit the targets set in front of you.

Your handler is an afterthought except when you get invited to eat with them. He’s right there ready to tell you you can’t eat with them and your food is in your room. You excuse yourself and eat alone again. However on the nights he’s away you do take the opportunity to sit with them, and just bring your food out of your room. The amount while bigger is still small for a soldier, even for a teenager. Most of them assume it’s an insecurity for you so they don’t pressure you to eat more, or comment on it. Soap offers some of his snacks still.

Hunter is instructed when the handler goes on leave to give you meals he has premade for you. They have half a mind to toss them and get you to eat with everyone else, however much you wanted, but they leave the opaque container in your room as instructed.

You don’t eat any of it though. You recognize the smell and are both disturbed and distraught. No. Not that. Memories come flooding back, ones you wanted to stay buried. It takes everything not to break down, and your stomach is churning and begging for sustenance.

Do you tell someone? Would anyone believe you? Should you eat it? No of course not! But you’re so hungry and your mouth is watering. The scent makes your stomach do hard and painful flips, as if there was a grinding wheel whipping around in your belly. You try to look for snacks that you may have hung on to from Hunter but find nothing. The hunger starts to consume your thoughts faster than you’ve consumed anything. Your body starts to alter, you teeth grow sharper, your sense of smell grows stronger and you cling to yourself.

Hungry hungry hungry…starved…

You act fast and get your pillow case, tying it in your mouth, before getting your hoodie on and bolting. You’re fairly agile in your human form and your desire for sustenance drives you forward. Meat is everywhere but you don’t want it. You don’t want to want it. Any soldiers you pass, you keep your head down, and rush past them. You don’t even look up for your teammates calling for you, and instead bolt faster. You finally get outside and sprint for the woods with soldiers calling after you, and trying to stop you to figure out what’s going on. It isn’t long before your body shifts and contorts and you smell meat nearby.

Eat…eat…

Your sudden leave doesn’t go unnoticed. At first, your team saw you and thought you had to hurry somewhere or didn’t see them. Then Alejandro and Soap passed your door while talking.

“Hunter really told you no more football?” Alejandro asks.

“Won’t stop me from playan, but they did warn mae ‘bou-“ Soap and Alejandro both freeze in place smelling the food in your room, the door shut. What the fuck? They look at each other disturbed and in shock. Soap opens the door and his eyes widen in shock seeing what was inside the container.

“Steamin bloody Jesus.” He says while covering his nose and mouth with an arm. Flies buzzed around the human organs you were served in the container.

“The hell kind of diet is this, Mija?” Alejandro says under his breath. Soap puts the lid back on and takes it to Hunter. No way they would do this, but they likely knew who did.

“OI! Hunter!” Soap yells.

“Soap! Gods, please knock next ti-“

“The bloody hell is this!?” He demands holding up the container. Hunter is confused.

“The corporal’s meal? Why do you ha-“

Without wasting anymore time he sets it down and opens the lid enough for them to see. Hunter stands up from their desk quickly, and in shock.

“Soap the fuck is wrong wi-“ Hunter starts.

“The fuck kind of meal is this!” Alejandro barks.

“What?!” Hunter is just as confused.

“This is the corporal’s meal.” Alejandro clarifies.

Hunter is just as disturbed as they are and goes into the storage where the rest of your meals were being kept for the time of his leave. They found more organs and human remains. Hunter wasn’t sure whether to be pissed, disgusted or distraught.

“What the bloody… I’m taking this to Price immediately this is beyond fucked. Where’s the corporal right now?” Hunter demands to know. Soap recalls seeing you running down the hall.

“She’s run off.” Soap concludes. Hunter takes a moment to breath and calm themselves, somewhat relieved.

“She could be anywhere by now.” Alejandro adds recalling your tracking lessons.

Hunter heads for the door and the two hybrids follow as they go to the captain’s office. He looks up from some papers before standing, seeing the door open.

“The corporal is MIA.” Hunter states. Price is confused until they explain what was in the food. Price is angry, ready to roast the retainer upon his return but you are more important along with any bystanders. A search is put out and human soldiers are instructed to stay on base while Task Force 141 along with Rudy and Alejandro track you down. Price knew there was too much of a risk for regular humans to be close to you in this state.

The cadejos catch your scent and lead the search with Rudy keeping a watchful eye for any movement. Alejandro and Soap follow the scent and cadejos with Hunter riding Soap’s back to assist them. Gaz had taken to the sky trying to find you from above and cover more ground. The scent is how they follow you but they know you’re in the area by the sounds of screeches and unearthly clicking. Price hasn’t heard noises like that in a very long time. Ghost advises caution to everyone while he moves through the shadows and senses death all around them. He soon finds it as well.

At first a couple of bisected birds and bitten voles were traces. The deeper they went the bigger the animals. Soon it was small boars that had their meat stripped. There were a few large birds that had managed to escape but were bleeding. A few foxes were limping and cowering in their dens. When the team finally found you they kept their distance with Ghost being the closest to you, discovering why he had felt uneasy around you.

You were gorging yourself on the carcass of a large elk, and stuffing handfuls of blood and raw meat into your mouth savouring every bite. Dark crimson caked your mouth and hands as you continued eating, getting into your hair every time you decided to literally stuff your face. Your boney limbs and sharp fingers clawed pieces off and your jagged sharp teeth tore into thicker, tougher parts. Gaz lands in one of the tall trees while Alejandro circles around slowly and quietly planning to flank you if you tried to bolt, his oanthef form slinking around in the underbrush keeping distant and cautious. Soap proceeds closer, slowly. He has Hunter on his back and at the moment was a muscled riot shield for them. You continued feeding ignoring them all, when Soap noticed the screeching had stopped and heard your muffled whimpers and sobs mixed in with the sounds of your eating.

He moves closer and closer, letting Hunter walk next to him.

You stop eating to wipe your mouth fruitlessly. That’s when you notice the large wolf standing before you, staring at you with eyes that seemed to glow in the dark. In the moonlight he could see your tears, lightly cutting through the blood and grime on your face. Your eyes were pure white, and almost void of life. Hunter came up next to him, and you start to scramble back, worried you might go for them.

“Hey hey, no it’s okay. You’re okay…” they reach into their med bag and took out a chocolate bar, tearing off the wrapper for you and offering it. It was like an animal trainer trying to get their charge to trust them. You slowly crawl over, eyes blank and white, but docile.

“Let’s make it a bit smaller.” They mutter. Hunger breaks a piece and you back away again, crawling on all fours. Hunter leans in a bit, offering the smaller piece to you. You take it gingerly and bite down on the candy. When the human medic offers the rest, you dig into it, eating it like nothing had gone wrong. Like you hadn’t run off, shifted and started gorging on the elk carcass right next to you. The area was quiet while your team watched as you continued eating. The snack was so good, so much better than the carcass.

It had happened again. You lost control again. You were a monster and you killed so many innocent animals. Tears continued to fall as the regret set in. When you smell human meat and you’re hungry, it can set you off, making your only thoughts to be “eat”. Animals weren’t as effective hence the number you had taken out. Human food, like the candy, was a middle ground. It would take some time to bring you back to your human state, and taking less to do so.

When you finally spoke, all you could croak out was a small and raspy, “sorry”.

Hunter offers you some more food, proper food, and you eat it slowly, trying not to make yourself sick. First it was the chocolate bar, and then some crackers, an apple, some water, a few carrots. Your beastly features begin to dull, and you feel yourself growing tired. Hunter moves closer with every bite and holds you close while you cry into them, and continue eating the food they give you. Soap curls himself around you preventing escape and trying to comfort you and protect Hunter. Neither of them worries about the blood, they had worse before. Soon you tucker yourself out and Hunter picks you up, and gets back on Soaps back.

“Price, target found and incapacitated. Returning to base.” Ghost said over comms.

“Copy Lt.” Price responded through a long sigh of smoke.

When you woke up you had food next to you on the bed, and Soap asleep in a chair. He wakes up to see you eating the food left for you, and smiles.

“Mornin’ Corporal.” He says.

“I’m sorry.” You say.

“Don’t. You didna do anythin wrong.” He said. He ruffles your hair which you realize had been cut off rather awkwardly. Apparently the blood was too thick to wash, and cutting it was the safer option. You didn’t mind.

For the rest of your handlers leave, your eating becomes top priority. If you try to skip meals, you’re hauled to the mess hall, or get a protein bar in your hand. You get firm reminders that your actions that night are not your fault. Hunter is ensuring you get your meals at regular times, and that you’re staying healthy in your eating habits. They’ve also taken to checking your weight, and body, which regains some pounds. Meanwhile paperwork is being shifted around and sorted and handed and signed making a report about what happened and the illegal obtainment of human organs and their distribution. Laswell is more than pissed and ensures your handler is kept off base for longer than he had intended to be.

A couple months go by of you recovering and getting into a healthier routine. You mention to your team that your form is much different and (you later learn) the one they had seen happens when you get hungry and are unable to eat. With this comes the chance to show off your monsterous form, which leaves them with surprised looks and a bit of shock. Your human form grows and your head is replaced by a deer skull, while your limbs shed skin and are replaced with natural wood, and your rib cage and a few other pieces are beared for them to see. Like Soap your clothes do get torn up, but you prepared with a blanket nearby.

You look down at them, and step back a little while they stare. Price smiles seeing what you are meant to look like, the full spirit creature. Price approaches you first and you go lower for him to meet your eyes. A hand is place on your skull and tilt your head.

“Welcome to the 141.” He says smiling. Soap steps up and shifts to his wolf form. You get down on all fours for him and he gives a soft headbutt against your shoulder which you return.

“Stuck with us now Corporal.” He barks.

Soap helps you feel more comfortable with your form, and helps you learn to move in it as well, alongside Alejandro. You find that while you’re bipedal, running on all fours does have some speed to it. You’re even more of a natural climber, able to launch yourself off large tree trunks and latch on to the next one, making any large enough forest a parkour playground. The cadejos are weary still but Rudolfo continues working with you on tracking. Alejandro is often busy having to assist the captain with paperwork. Gaz starts helping you instead, making your hiding even more fun, since he has the best sight out of everyone. Now you’re the target even more for them to find, which they assume won’t be hard with your immense size but your terrain becomes a part of you, and you it letting you hide almost in plain sight.

Ghost assists you in ways you weren’t expecting, as he helps you feel more comfortable with death. Now your sparring and take down sessions often come with a small talk. Taking a life isn’t easy, and given your story, he wants you to know you’re defending yourself and others. It’s not uncommon for you to get a bit carried away on missions now, as you’re able to charge with Soap into a fray. Your larger size makes it easy for you to forget your surroundings. It leads to more casualties than knock outs. Price even tells you what he knows about wendigos and works on getting as much information from you about the handler as he can. Price lets you use him as a target now for shooting range, given how much better your aim has gotten.

Your team becomes your family as older siblings, uncles and sometimes even dads. They pass on everything they can to you. At this point they’ve come to see you as the pup in their pack, the one they raise into a fighter and protector for the future.

Visual reference for wendigo form

[libbytxf]

Masterlist of fanfiction- The X Files

Longer stories (5000 words and over)

A Coin Long Gazed At (8362 words) on AO3 : A Christmas story that begins with Mulder & Scully exchanging gifts at the end of 'How the Ghosts Stole Christmas', and continues through to the events of Tithonus.

Fierce Midsummer All Ablaze (12793 words) on AO3 : Mulder & Scully develop a standing agreement to attend events as each other's 'plus one' over the years.

Certain Obscure Things (13087) just completed on AO3 : An alternate ending to/extension of 'Fierce Midsummer', in which Mulder takes Scully as his guest on a trip to Oxford, to visit his old university mentor.

The Light of a Clear Blue Morning (12392 words) on AO3 : Mulder and Scully are back in the field after Redux II; what would have happened if they continued the closeness of the Cancer Arc through season 5 and beyond?

The Congruence of Triangles (5373 words) on AO3 :The final scene of Triangle, told five ways.

...

'The Work of an Instant' series

A series of stories in which Mulder and Scully share a moment of sudden realization about their feelings for one another, while they are surrounded by other people.

The Work of an Instant (2463 words) on AO3: Scully and Mulder attend a game night at the Gunmen’s lair, and change is in the air (s7).

Charade (8358 words) on A03: Mulder and Scully take part in an undercover operation, and Mulder learns something about Scully's feelings for him. Takes place in season 6, shortly after The Unnatural.

How Well You Walk Through the Fire (2362 words) on A03: Late season 6, Scully comes to a sudden realization about Mulder's feelings for her while in the middle of a Bureau policy meeting.

...

Shorter stories

I Need My Girl (747 words) on AO3

Testament (1599 words) on AO3 : This story imagines the circumstances of Scully asking Mulder to be the witness to her living will.

Even in Another Time (3740 words) on AO3 : A post-Redux story, written in 2009.

[gabby-msr]

As a younger fan of the X-Files, I'm constantly amazed by the longevity of the fandom.

I've been in fan spaces for maybe 2-3 years at this point and the fanfic and fan art keeps on coming. Some people leave and new people bring their own ideas.

We have a few active podcasts, including one focused specifically on fanfiction and recording fanfiction. We have fic exchanges (@xfilesfanficexchange ) that keep on attracting new talent. I see new people all the time, sharing their thoughts as they watch for the first time and creating fantastic fancams. We have several old archives full of fics that ensure we'll never run out.

And more than that, I love the subculture (proper term?) that develops around it. I love that there are fics that are known widely across the fandom. Or that sometimes, a fic will capture nearly everyone's attention.

I don't know where this is going but I appreciate it so much. We're not perfect, sometimes there is drama, but overall I appreciate this space so much. Maybe Twitter's fuckery is making me appreciate it more.

[dual-cetacean]

"Arthur Pendragon, the newly crowned King of Britton, is weary of the new life he leads. The battle that solidified his rule drained him of his vigour, and he aches to be carefree once more as he was as a mere squire. He treks into the Dark Woods to unwind from a stressful exchange of power. Unaware that this moonlit night would forever change his life."

Heyo! Here I am with the poll winner from last week (and a few more days)! It's Sonadow hours (Arthlot? I don't know their ship name, but it's King Arthur/Lancelot)

You can find the backstory for this fic under "Keep reading," as I go off on a tangent about its historyfic.

Please enjoy!

This fic is older than all of my other sonic fics. I am not kidding; I've had this draft lying around in my backlog for so long that I have screenshots of its layout and how I was supposed to present this on AO3. The date is September 2023, but my document files say December 2022. Since I usually type fics together in one document before deciding it can have its own document, so it is even older than that. This was supposed to be up ages ago, but I never found the courage and got swept away by the excitement of Sonic Prime. Even though I call myself a recent Sonic fan, that's not true. I grew up with Sonic X and read Sonic fan fiction on Fanfiction.net. (Oh, where has the time gone.)

Bit of a trigger warning for incest and statutory rape. As in mentioned, nothing is talked about graphically.

Now, while I am very particular about using canon as a guideline and knowing the source material like the back of my hand, this is one of my works where I will not do that. A lot of fucked up shit happens in the original compiled story of L' Morte d'Arthur (The Death of King Arthur). I will explain further in the ending notes of the fic, but for one, Arthur is aged up to 19 years old. As in the original legends, he is just called young, which is very vague. He is rewarded sex by a tavern woman for winning the battle, but it is implied she is much older than him. His age is unknown, but an opposing king calls him a beardless boy playing at being a king, and while there are plenty of men who grow a beard well into their adulthood or never, the implication of Arthur's youth and inexperience with life makes me deeply uneasy. So obviously, none of that shit is in here. Canon or not, fanfiction is here to have fun, and I won't write what makes my skin crawl.

I put this on the poll, not knowing if people would want to read this. But seeing as the poll was held on Tumblr, I should not have been surprised that it won by a landslide. I had forgotten how popular this niche ship is within the Sonadow community. And hey, I'm not complaining! I'm all too happy to share this. I read Sonadow since I was a teen, and Lansoni was a guilty pleasure of mine. I am all too happy to add to the collection! Although it is not really Lansoni as it is Sonic as King Arthur, and not actually Sonic being isikai-ed.

I am probably going to go on a SATBK binge after this. It is so weirdly nostalgic for me.

[lilydalexf]

Can you help find a fic? I read it a few years ago, I thinnnnk on AO3? 😬 Anyway, if I remember it was a story within a story. Like Mulder and Scully wrote their own fanfiction? It sounds dumb when I write it out, but it worked. It took place oversees, think. Scotland maybe? That’s all I remember. 😬 Oh god, this is too vague. Any ideas? Can you ask your followers if they can at least point me in a direction (any direction! My Google skills are excellent). Thank you for all you do

The only fic I could think of where Mulder or Scully writes fanfic is Mulder and Scully Join The X-Files Fanfic Exchange by @xfilesfanficexchange. But I feel like there are more out there that I am forgetting. If anybody has an idea of what fic anon may be thinking of, please let us know!

[phannibal]

finished the fight the future novelization!! overall it was an extremely mid adaptation that did not take advantage of the change in medium to do anything interesting, but it was still a fun read and honestly some plot points were clearer than in the movie. liveblog and standout moments under the cut :3

immediately the narration feels like someone is describing something that’s happening on screen. this is not a good thing; a good adaptation is able to use the strengths of its medium to tell the story in a way that is compelling in and of itself (day of the doctor perfect example) (this is why screen -> book adaptations fall flat when using a different author, the book author has a lot of guesswork to do wrt POVs, motivations, and other internal character stuff) (but do I really want to read a book by chris carter)

wait this is awesome face blindness can’t affect me in the written word. wow turns out that one guy was two guys all along

y’know it’s almost not fair to criticize this book for being a clunky adaptation bc fight the future leans so hard into its own cinematography in a way that makes it irreplicable in text. god I want to write a dissertation comparing this to the dotd novelization with references to the other x files and target novelizations and comparing franchises and impact of same vs. different author of the same story. waves sadly at my nonexistent media studies degree

he comes into the initial hearing and her heart LIFTS. this is what i’m talking about use the medium to give us character insight!!!

oh no fucking way. author just used “who’s” when the correct word was “whose.” probably worst mistake I have ever seen in a published book

the dialogue in particular does not translate well to text. maybe there’s a way to make m&s’ opening back and forth just as iconic and characteristic in print, or mulder’s drunken exposition slash tagline just as comedic yet foreboding, but as is, they (and other standout lines) just fall so flat

they don’t even say that he’s peeing on the independence day poster 😑

did this author come from fanfiction or something bc the amount of “the younger man” I’m having to roll my eyes at is obscene

this is the biggest glimpse we get into any character’s thoughts so i’m holding it to my chest forever and ever

god so the 3am “what are you implying” “is that what you’d like me to do” feel WAY more loaded in text

also “she had been thinking exactly that” 🥺

TWICE. yeah i bet

I’m like 90% sure some lines of dialogue are slightly different like just meaningless word order choices but I’m not putting on the movie to confirm

no okay the above is definitely true. “the one thing in the world he can’t live without” is NOT the original line but goes just as hard

have to include this bc it is absolutely the most changed dialogue in the whole book. wish i could see into this author’s head

realizing for the first time that the guy that planted the bomb = the guy eavesdropping on mulder in the bar = the guy driving the ambulance because in a book you have to spell that type of thing out

i DID actually pull up the movie upon reading these lines bc i was like i knowww i would remember this. i wonder if the author was working off of the original script or something and this was part of that? or if she was really just allowed to freestyle

god so we know in the movie he just kind of jumps down a random ice hole after he initially falls through. here it’s specifically and clearly a vent because ig this author could not rationalize him choosing to jump down a random hole

long af image so click to read but INSANE insane emphasis on the cpr scene for no reason. like that lasts 2 seconds in the movie but is fully a page and a half here, thanks for that at least ms elizabeth hand

protectively :')

why is this exchange so neutered?? where is the passion? where is "some hollow personal cause of mine" and "i can't. i won't"?

that's all i got! i think these excerpts really demonstrate the shortcomings of a direct, no-frills screen-to-text translation. i can't help thinking that this book was meant to be just another thing to put on shelves and sell, as opposed to being born of a genuine desire to retell the story in a new way. like i said, still fun though, and enough new tidbits to make it worthwhile!

[slippinmickeys]

Twenty questions for fanfic writers

I was tagged by @agent-troi and @randomfoggytiger Thanks for the tag, guys!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

53

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

712,000 exactly, which is sort of creepy?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files mainly, though a million years ago I wrote two fics for JAG, and technically, I have a His Dark Materials fic (but it's an XF crossover)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Mesas of Deuteronilus Mensae

Prompt Drabble Collection

The Annapolis Grant

Three Part Harmony

A Companion Unobtrusive

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! Comments are the only payment fanfic writers get, and it's an incredibly valuable and underrated currency. Fanfiction as a community is one of the most generous you'll find, and I'm incredibly proud to be a part of this particular one.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh man, probably La Comtesse de Saint-Germain.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

In this day and age I feel like we deal with enough shit, so I try to end most of my fics happily. I think A Gem-Like Flame probably has the most uplifting happy ending, but then, I'm a sports nerd.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Um, probably pretty vanilla het MSR. No shame.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've only written one, but it turned out really well, I thought. It's an X-Files/His Dark Materials novella-length crossover that takes place in Lyra's world, pre-Lyra, called Out of the Little Grove.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Anyone who steals my fic is going to catch these hands.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a couple of years ago someone asked if they could translate one of my fics to Russian. It's out there somewhere.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I jumped in and helped @monikafilefan get Five Years and a Lifetime over the line for a fic exchange a couple of years ago. A fun, collaborative experience, that was like 85% Monika. It's a great fic, check it out if you haven't!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Mulder & Scully are my OTP. Always and forever.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'd love to finish Madam Scully's Spiritual Services, Inc., it's an AU where Scully works for her sister's Psychic Boutique while prepping for med school. Scully ends up being actually psychic and she helps newly minted FBI agent Fox Mulder solve a series of murders. I have it almost completely plotted (except for the nitty-gritty hard stuff), but I don't think I'll ever get it done, sadly. It's just too big a story to tackle with where I am in my life. Though I never say never.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm decent at dialogue, have a pretty firm grasp on plotting, and, I hope characterization.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My character work is probably my weak spot, which is why I have so much fun writing fanfic--the character work is already done, I just get to play around a world where everybody already knows the characters.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

When I do it, I hope like hell that I'm doing it right. I think it's necessary for some stories and you just hope you're properly respecting a language you don't speak.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files, in the year of our lord nineteen hundred and ninety eight.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It's a toss up between Proof of Life, an AU where CNN conflict reporter Dana Scully is kidnapped and imprisoned with fellow kidnap victim and photojournalist Fox Mulder, and they, you know, fall in love. And North of Zero, a post-col novel where Mulder and Scully get William back and have to save the world. The one I totally pantsed (made up as I went along), and it came together like alchemy. I love that story. If you don't like AU, you'd like Proof of Life. If you don't like post-colonization stories, you'd like North of Zero. I don't always like everything I've written after I'm done writing it (a writer's life), but I'm incredibly proud of both of those fics.

Tagging @monikafilefan because she's already tagged, and anyone else who wants to do this!

[sad-sad-detective]

💖 What made you start writing?

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Meow!

Purrr purrr~

💖 What made you start writing?

I always liked making up stories, even when I was a kid. But they were more like bedtime stories for myself, I didn't think about writing them down or telling them to my friends.

It changed when I was about 10 or 12 years old. I was a big "The X-files" fan, I asked my parents to buy merch for me (mostly, posters, pins and notebooks), and one day I saw an "X-files" novel in the bookstore. I bought it, I read it and I thought: "Well, I can write my own X-files too!". And that was it)

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I know I may sound like a schoolteacher now, but - please, mind your grammar. Your idea may be brilliant and you may catch your characters' personalities down to a T, but if you make lots of mistakes per one paragraph, miss commas or misspell words, it isn't good for your text. And don't trust T9, that fucker.

More universal advice is - read a lot. Read other people's fanfiction, read books and comics, read whatever genre you like. It's a great way to improve your writing and storytelling skills.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

That scene in the chapter 6 of "Rainbow" when Dew examines his seemingly human reflection in a window glass and suddenly realizes that there is a girl behind the window who is watching him.

It's based on real events, btw.

And Dew's advice to Phantom on how to behave on stage.

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

[hollowfaith]

1, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

QUESTIONS FOR MUN

1. Who has been your favorite muse to play?

ughhhh this is hard...im gonna cheat and go for nostalgia ok

although i think i missed the mark with her muse in some places i have a special fondness for dahlia hawthorne and her specific brand of caustic sarcasm.

i don't think i've ever come up with so many different creative insults during her runtime...also she had the neatest mix of relationships with random muses, not just in AA cast (tho i remember her tormenting at least 3 different feenies??) but beyond, notably izaya and edward cullen comes to mind.

i also really liked my run as kasen kanesada because he's a very lyrical sword (or at least works hard to cultivate that image) so i had to express that in writing and ended up having a lot of fun doing flowery replies and making up poetry and generally going big ham. (it did take a lot of mental energy though so i started losing steam later on.)

i remember he had a thread with FGO Shakespeare that was pretty nice cause we got to be nerdy and talk about eastern/western literature lolololol, then for his challenge he had to kill like 5 ppl in 24 hours so i actually got 5 volunteers to get decapitated and RP'd mini threads with them all, which was wild (and again a very, very random mix of muses including X-Files Fox Mulder)

i didn't RP OCs back then but i like them a lot now too! the lack of art is an unfortunate reality but the amount of customization you get in exchange...so powerful.

5. What is the most difficult thing about writing your current muse?

stupid guy won't just kiss klaus and marry him that would solve 99% of their problems hey klaus are u listening u need to seduce this idiot or something so his brain has nothing but u all day to keep him out of mischief hey hey klaus

ahem

also his unspoken obligation to be lawful good (in his POV) really limits his ability to "act out," so sometimes i need to find different ways to de-escalate situations before he hits moral event horizon. you know, flattery and adoration goes a long way in wrapping him around your finger, i'm surprised more people don't try (i guess they can't stand him long enough to get there lol)

7. Who was the very first muse you ever wrote?

i remember answering this question on another meme maybe...?

there's a more accurate answer now: pre-tumblr, i remember RPing a Lopmon on some digimon forum once upon a time. also remember the mod that was RPing with me called me out for "slight godmodding" because i was describing how my digimon was crossing a bridge and apparently that was taking things too much into my own hands LOLOL

8. Have you ever written a novel? If not, does it interest you?

i've started written novels but i haven't finished any except for like, a couple of original oneshots. technically Veoc is a supporting character/love interest (spoilers: he's not the canon pairing) in a sci-fi story where i have the general plot laid out but y'know, actually writing it is... *flops down*

9. Do you write fanfiction, or have you in the past?

i definitely wrote more in the past but i've slowed down to a trickle since then. uhhhh i want to start up again, maybe with drabbles/oneshots, but i need to catch up on canon first before i try to do the characters justice

10. Do you like stylized icons and formatted text or do you prefer to keep things simple?

god a part of me regrets giving Aury his fancy brackets b/c i have to copy/paste that thing in every reply

so yeah i am never doing that again i just wanna open up a post and type my reply and be done with it, bless.

same with icons as long as they show a face and expression (or even body part) im happy wheee i've got plots to write

11. When did you start roleplaying?

i can't remember...gotta be probably early to mid high school cause i didn't know RP existed back then

12. Have you roleplayed anywhere other than tumblr?

forums, emails, tried a LJ group but my app got rejected so i didn't even get in (ROFL), tumblr has been the most stable medium with most long-term interactions though

[642stories]

Story #52, In the Silence of the Night 1/2

This is The X-Files fanfiction. Read it on AO3

A light tap on the door pulls her out of her slumber. The TV is still on and Mulder is sleeping peacefully across from her on her little striped couch. Her bare feet are juxtaposed with Mulder's head, and his sock ones are dangling over the arm of the couch near her face. A silly thought  - they look way too cozy with one another as if they are spouses, siblings, anyone but merely work partners – comes and goes. It reminds her of her childhood and how she used to make a beeline in the middle of the night to her parents’ bed only to find Melissa and Charlie had already been there. There wasn’t enough room for all the Scully kids, and mornings would often find Dana with her face somewhere around her sister’s feet, with her mother’s hand in her hair. Ironically enough, Bill would never join them.

When Scully frees herself off the pile of limbs and cushions to open the door, Maggie Scully greets her with a smile so bright that Dana squints at her, like the sun is shining straight at her face.

“I brought you something,” Maggie says, letting herself in and heading to the kitchen. “We need to stock up your fridge properly. Can’t let you live on anything but nice home meals.” While you are still recovering from cancer, the end of the sentence implies, but neither of them brings that up. Dana’s remission is nothing short of a miracle - still so new and fragile, and both fear to dig too deep into it, lest any careless stir can reverse it.

She joins her mother at the counter, her eyes flicking back and forth following Maggie’s hand diving into what looks like a dimensionless shopping bag, as she pulls out one Tupperware container after another.

“That’s a lot of food, Mom. Are we throwing a party to feed an entire floor?”

“Oh, dear, wasn’t it Fox I’ve just seen dozing off in the living room?”

Maggie asks in that deep mellifluous voice Dana always finds solace in, and immediately her face goes scarlet matching her flaming hair that, if one looks any closer, is quite mussed, creating the perfect ensemble with her smudged mascara and wrinkled blouse. Scully doesn’t lift her eyes off the counter to meet her mother’s half-joking but penetrating gaze. Instead, she occupies her hands with cups and tea bags.

“Well, I can’t imagine him not hanging around here with you all weekend. He’ll help you empty the fridge.” Her mother continues nonchalantly. “You hungry?”

“Not really. Mulder ordered a pizza earlier and made sure I ate at least half of it. I thought I was going to burst. Just some tea for me.”

As they finally settle at the table, Maggie reaches out to her daughter’s hand and gives her a gentle squeeze.

“How are you, Dana?”

"As strange as it sounds, I feel alive.” With delicate fingers, she grazes the golden rim of her snow-white porcelain cup.

“I feel good, Mom. To be honest, right now I have more time than I know what to do with, but as soon as Mulder lets me come back to work, I’ll make good use of that.” To a stranger, her words may sound a bit harsh as if she’s displeased with her partner’s over-protective behavior, but her mother knows better. Behind the façade of the feigned sternness, Maggie recognizes the notes of playfulness.

She can’t seem to avert her eyes from her daughter’s elegant hands, still deadly pale, with thin bluish veins running across her soft skin. For a long time, they just sit there, across from one another, sipping their tea and soaking up the comfort they find in each other. Mulder is still sleeping peacefully just across the wall, covered up with a blanket lovingly.

“You know, Dana, I didn’t believe we’d have you back.”

“Mom…”

“No, I need to let it out. After you told me that your cancer metastasized and spread to your blood flow… I didn’t see how we could have you back.”

“Neither did I, Mom.”

“You are a scientist in our family, Dana.  I could see it in your eyes – the moment you gave up. That was how I knew - there wasn’t anything left to be done for you.” Maggie draws in a breath and braces herself to continue.

“Fox wouldn’t give up, though.” Her voice is quiet, careful and measured, mindful of the aforementioned partner sleeping just a few feet away.

Subconsciously, Scully turns to the living room, the corners of her lips tug up slightly.

“He wouldn’t let you go. I believed then he was ready to follow you. It was like the first time.”

“The first time?”

“When you were abducted.”

“Mom, it’s over.”

“My faith left me, Dana.” There are tears in her mother’s eyes, and Dana reaches out to pull her in a tight hug. Her strong brave mother, who, by some absurd coincidence, is doomed to outlive her beloved husband and a few of her own children. Her beautiful mother, whose faith and courage have been tested repeatedly. There’s only so much one can take.

“I don’t know how, Dana, but somewhere along the way, I lost my faith. When you were abducted, I didn’t believe you would be returned to us. And then you had, and I didn't believe you would make it. We went as far as to turn you off the life support because that was what you had stated in your will. We stayed with you to say goodbye. Fox was there too, Missy wouldn’t let him off the hook.”

“Missy?”

Maggie smiles sadly at her daughter.

“Yes. Fox wouldn’t come to join us. He thought it was wrong, that we had to fight for you. Unlike us, he still believed you could make it. I think Missy found the right words for him because, in the end, Fox was there for you. He didn’t come to say goodbye though. He came because he still had hope. If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be sitting here with you now.”

“Mulder is a dark wizard.”

“You didn’t see him then, Dana. It was like all of a sudden, his whole world fell apart. Then one day you turned up in a hospital and nobody knew anything, nobody was able to say what was wrong with you, and Fox just,” Maggie’s voice hitches and she takes another sip before she continues. “He just ran amok. Fox was devastated and dying along with you, but I didn’t think he’d have followed you. Not back then. He would have set on a journey to find everyone responsible for what had been done to you.”

Dana chooses not to interrupt, sensing her mother’s need to vent it all out.

“This time though, he would absolutely have. I’m terrified at the thought of having been so dangerously close to burying not just one, but the two of you. He was aching for you. He still does. Maybe you should let him in.”

Maggy departs, somehow leaving Scully both totally in disarray and maddeningly calm. She hadn’t the faintest what Mulder went through during her abduction. She could get some bits and pieces - from her family, case reports (her own file stored right there in one of the drawers), and occasional worried glances from Skinner. Allusions galore, but never anything specific.

While she tried to find a workaround for her trauma, Mulder was learning (by trial and error, no less!) to deal with his guilt complex – about being the reason for her abduction, about not getting to her on time, about failing time and again. Those were feeble attempts on both their sides and eventually, by unspoken agreement, they decided to ignore the matter entirely. As if it had never existed. It was easier that way. It was safer.

Even in his sleep, Mulder looks tired. Like he hasn’t been sleeping for days on end, that is likely to be true - he probably hasn’t been sleeping since she was diagnosed and the tumor started growing, spreading its treacherous cells and filling her mind with uneasy thoughts. She cannot bring herself to stop contemplating whether his thick brown hair turned silver on the temples because of her. She doesn’t remember him having any gray hairs before. And that signature frown line between his brows seems to have deepened and now is defined sharply. She wants to reach out and smooth that wrinkle away from his beautiful face.

Of its own volition, her hand cups his stubbly cheek, and her thumb traces the plump bottom lip. She can’t remember when they stopped being just partners and became friends. Probably somewhere around day one. She can’t remember when she stopped wanting him to be just her friend and become her lover. Probably somewhere around year one.

Lifting his head gently off the pillow, she squeezes herself in between it and the armrest, so now his upper body rests on her lap. His long legs are bent at his knees and tucked into the cushions and Scully’s bare feet are perched on the coffee table next to the empty box of pizza and she’s stroking his hair languidly.  She pulls on an invisible thread and then tucks her cool hand under the neck of his t-shirt. Mulder’s skin is soft and hot under her touch, and as she caresses the expanse of his upper back, Mulder turns his head and sighs contentedly into her stomach.

“Hey,” he mumbles. His eyes are still closed and he shifts even closer and presses Scully deeper into the cushions all the while lifting her shirt with his nose and burrowing it deep in her belly button. She makes a sound, something between a moan and a chuckle.

“It tickles.”

She doesn’t attempt to stop him, though. Puffs of warm air breeze across her skin and trails of chaste, almost imponderable kisses send tingles down her spine.

Lay the blame on her being drunk with his closeness. Lay the blame on him being under the spell of sleep.

The last remnant of doubt vanishes when Mulder’s weightless dry touches turn into bold open-mouthed kisses. She wants to be closer to him. So close that she doesn’t know where she ends, and he starts. Mulder is the only man she can ever imagine herself with, and tonight he has her undivided attention.

There’s no way to resist an uncontrollable impulse to kiss her partner. They are magnetically drawn to one another. Having Mulder by her side has become second nature to her. He’s the oxygen she can’t live without. He seeps into her skin and permeates her thoughts.

She doesn't have delusions of ever having a normal family with him, where they both do their fair share of prosaic daily routines. There’s no house with a white picket fence in that equation - Mulder offers her the basement with overfilled file cabinets and dusty shelves.  Over the years she has come to appreciate everything he gives her - Fox Mulder is the constant exercise to her brain, her guide and mentor, her best friend and platonic lover. He's the butterflies in her stomach and goosebumps over her skin.

Sometimes it feels like too much, and she wants to rip him off like the band-aid and expose herself to the world outside Mulder’s suffocating presence. That she did a couple of times before, only to realize that she had lost sight of herself not because of him, but without him. The air Mulder doesn’t breathe with her chokes her, and when the need to fill her lungs with Eau de Fox Mulder becomes unbearable, she calls his number. “Mulder, it’s me.”

“What are we doing, Scully.” He stops and lifts on one elbow, his face is level with her chest.

“We are… celebrating?” She asks unsure, one hand still tangled in his silky waves.

“Celebrating what?”

Everything and nothing in particular, she wants to say. Every day is a holiday now since we are alive. And so she says it.

“That I want to celebrate.” Mulder agrees.

“I think we deserve it."

Her eyes roam his handsome face, delicate fingers stroke the rough shadow of his jaw.

“I want it.”

[virtie333]

When I first got back into fanfiction writing, I stayed away from any challenges/exchanges. Though I had done a couple of challenges back in my X-File days, it took more than a year of writing Damerey before I was comfortable trying one again. My first one was the May the 4th Challenge in 2021. I forgot how much fun writing with prompts is!

The root of this story comes from real life. Though I am not a groomer, I have worked with several, even bathing for one for almost a year. My 18+ years as a vet tech also gives me a lot more insight than your average dog lover. I decided to use this story to educate. Don't get me wrong, I have known some amazing Doodles (any breed of dog crossed with a Poodle), but the trend this cross has created has definitely been more negative than positive. Please, as with any breed of dog, research before you decide to add one to your family.

[lesbian-in-leather]

Fanfiction WIP Guessing Game

I saw people doing a similar game the other day and I'm bored so... here's a modified version of it!!

Send me a word and the title of one of my WIPs (list with the working-titles under the cut), and if the word is in the document then I’ll answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in

Also please feel free to send multiple!!

A Private Exchange (asoue, beasme)

They Aren't Soft (asoue, eslaf)

Cuddling (asoue, eswell)

Georgina Returns Home Early (asoue, eswell)

Hunger Games AU (asoue)

Memento Mori (asooue)

Open Sea AU (asoue)

The Snicket File (asoue)

Villainous Violet AU (asoue)

That's Just How The Story Goes (sge, dovesso)

Rule Breaking (thg, hayffie)

Post-Mockingjay AU (thg, hayffie)

The Aftermath (thg)

Backstory (wwk, grace x joan)

Nadja's Upset (wwdits)

Post-Season Three Rewrite (wwdits)

[penig]

The library. Or rather, books I got from there. Sherlock Holmes fanfiction has been out there a long, long time, and that was my first.

Later, the biggest Trek fanzine (just called Trek, if I recall) conventionally published paperbacks of their "best of," with the blessings of copyright holders; which was mostly meta with some fiction. The big ships (not that they were called that; the term dates from X-Files fandom) thus officially acknowledged were Spock/Chapel and Kirk/Enterprise. Everyone knew The Premise was out there but you needed an In to get hold of the zines with those fics. And of course the tie-in original Trek novels were G-rated fanfiction in all the ways readers care about, up to and including cross-overs with other shows.

I honestly don't remember what the first zine I ever saw was. It might've been Trek, or LoTR, or comic books. I myself wrote Gilligan's Island fic for myself when I was six or seven, and at 14 exchanged in-character letters with the only other "When Things Were Rotten" fan in town, or possibly in all the universe. I was much older when it occurred to me that the passionate love letters thus exchanged might possibly have some broader personal application; she went to a different school the following year so it never developed beyond that.

Anyway, the first on-line space I ever engaged with fic or a larger fic-writing fandom was the AOL X-Phile boards. I like to think there are still people out there remembering "The Light in the Tower at Mulder Manor" fondly.

(By trope-specific i mean for example all the slash fics hosting websites, or the nsfw-only ones, etc)

[formosusiniquis]

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that my latest major project is going to need a beta to really live up to the potential I have for it in my head. 1. Because it's a bang fic so it is essentially a gift to the fandom but also something someone else is going to have to work on but also 2. Because it's me maybe tackling something out of my reach (but yeah that's how you improve).

And I say coming to terms with like this is a struggle, and it is and it isn't. Anyway dear diary December will mark 13 years of my writing and publishing my own fanfic, something I've done consistently since that point barring life getting in the way and writers blocks. And blocks usually still involve a pen and paper, just rarely something that makes it to the end. Everything I've published has been largely unbeta'd with a few exceptions where I've had close friends in the fandom too.

Dear diary, I think I'm struggling through a bit of block on my current project because I know it's going to get read by a stranger to critique for the first time in years. I was 15ish and didn't have any fandom friends, not yet on tumblr I'd found fanfiction through stumbleupon of all things and hadn't made it to any other fandom spaces. Luckily for me, ffnet had a beta feature built into the website people could offer their services or you could offer yours on a fandom by fandom basis. (Sidenote, I do actually still kinda like this feature. Especially paired with the way they let you send files across their site rather than exchange email or whatever.)

Dear diary, to make a long story somewhat shorter. I, a 15ish yo who didn't know they were queer yet, found cr.iminal min.ds and imprinted on re.id the way young queers do. And took what was probably a whole lot of various envies that I didn't have the vocabulary for yet and translated it the best I could into what was, obviously, thinly veiled self-insert oc x re.id fanfic. Yes, in the height of the anti-oc, anti-mary sue era. And with a handful of plotless (even the ones that were supposed to have one) fluff fics under my belt I went with the confidence of a teenager with a handful of comments and storyfaves to a beta to look this new fic over. Found someone who was okay with ocs and offered constructive criticism, and got my rejection sensitive ass ripped to shreds. The "plot" and the OC flayed before me in a return message I'm only just now wondering if I still have in an inbox somewhere.

And I stopped writing. In hindsight it was probably only for a few months, but this was something I had done daily, dragging a notebook to school and writing between bells, ignoring homework. But this killed any desire and love I had for what I was doing for a long time. I still think about it, obviously.

Anyway, this is my public support for all the tiktok kids putting their full face on their self-insert/character videos. This is me trying to puke up the hurt feelings of a decade ago in order to maybe get better at a hobby I literally stumbled upon by accident. This is me realizing just how long I've been doing this, and maybe how far I've already gotten.