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laufeysvalentine · 3 months ago

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i want you. pt 2, remus lupin

intertwined, sewn together

remus lupin x fem!reader | masterlist, pt 1

summary ༄ remus x best friend!reader -- the aftermath of you accidentally confessing your love for remus and running away, hurt/comfort, fluff

word count ༄ 4.1k

nora’s notes ༄ so sorry for the delay on this, thank you so so so much for all the love on the first part and for 200 followers??? that's gen insane i love all of you 💘 i haven't proofread so pls excuse grammar

you’ve barely gotten a wink of sleep next morning, and it shows. you finally crash in the morning to sleep through breakfast and lunch.

at two, you’re up, but barely. you feel like absolute shit. the feeling only worsens when lily comes in, pity in her face. she knows what happened, and the pity only means one thing–there’s a reason he hasn’t come by, and it’s not because he’s in love with you.

burying your head in your pillow, you let out a loud groan.

“y/n?” she pulls back your covers and offers a plate up to you. “remus brought this for you, cause you weren’t at breakfast or lunch.”

“don’t say his name in my presence,” you beg her, only half-joking. the plate she brought has all your favorite foods from the great hall, and you hate that remus knows you so well, well enough to pick them out.

“he wants to talk to you,” she says once she’s sat on her own bed a few feet from you. “he just didn’t want to cross your boundaries. i’ll tell him off if you’d like, just let me know.”

“i love you, lily, but it’s not necessary. it’s not his fault half of hogwarts loves him and the prettiest girl out there fell to his feet,” you huff, a sadness leaking out of you. you want to blame him. but really, you can’t. “he didn’t do anything wrong. i guess.”

lily’s eyebrow raises as she waits for you to elaborate. “he did make you fall to his feet, didn’t he.”

“you know who i’m talking about.” as if you could compare to celeste… although you’re pleased with the compliment. “and i’m still mad.”

“you have every right to be,” she concedes, mouth open to say something when the door bursts open, carrying in a flustered marlene.

“please, y/n, i’m begging you. do something about him. he’s run off and sirius can’t find him, so he’s bugged james about it who’s bugging me, and i can’t take it anymore.” her cheeks are flushed, begging, but you can’t bring yourself to listen to her. “i’d never do this to you, but i’ll truly rip my ears off for another moment of this.”

“marlene.” lily’s glaring at the blonde, grabbing her by the elbow. “don’t listen to her, y/n. do whatever you want.”

as much as you feel bad, you’re not ready. you don’t want to face him, like, ever.

and that’s what you resolve to do for the whole next week. knowing remus, he would never make you uncomfortable, not on purpose, at least, but he knows you too well to make you uncomfortable by accident. so, three days later, when you stumble into breakfast with approximately thirty minutes of sleep and bags suitcases under your eyes to match it and choose the seat farthest away from him, he doesn’t move closer to you.

still, you feel his eyes on you the whole time, but you just stare down at your plate, making pictures with the eggs and ketchup. while half-listening to marlene’s blabbering, you craft a smiley face, then a frowny face to match your mood, a mickey mouse, and then this girl that you hate for no reason because she’s really not hateable at all you just hate her because she kissed this guy who’s your best friend but technically you’re not even dating you’re just in love with him. fuck. you push away the eggs and glance around the table. the first thing you notice is him noticing you–it’s the first day you’ve not felt too lovesick and heartbroken to ditch class and meals, for risk of seeing him, so your presence speaks for itself. even then, every morning you wake up to an artfully arranged plate outside your door, laden with your favorite foods. the same comes for lunch and dinner, and you’re not stupid. you know he sends them.

but you can’t talk to him. not now that you know he’s not in love with you like you are with him, at least not as much. he might even like celeste by now. not “might,” he probably does. you wouldn’t hold it against him. they would be beautiful together. a fresh round of nausea sloshes into the walls of your gut.

when you deem it socially appropriate to leave, you take the chance, getting up with the masses heading to class, trying to slip through the crowd to avoid him.

“y/n,” sirius croons from your right, so close you can feel his hot breath on your ears, and your heart sinks. where sirius is, the marauders are soon to follow. “oh, how i missed you this past eternity.”

you grimace at him, pushing his cheek away from your face. “hi, padfoot. it’s been three days.”

“and what days they’ve been!” he proclaims dramatically, slinging an arm around your shoulder and pretending to faint.

“siri. i’m not in the mood.” you mutter, slipping out from under his arm, chancing a glance behind you to make sure the blond you would recognize anywhere is not here. you’re in the clear for now, you’ve no clue where he, peter, and james have gone or why they’re so far from sirius.

he senses your mood shift and transforms into serious sirius. “you need to get back with moony.”

when you blow out a heavy breath, your hair flies forwards and hangs limply on your face. “a, as i said, it’s been like three days. b, we were never together so i can’t ‘get back’ with him. c, and listen carefully when i say this, i don’t want to.” he doesn’t want me are the words you leave sour and dormant on your tongue.

“but, y/n,” he pouts. “he really misses you, even if it’s only been a little while. he’s a wreck, knowing he made you cry.”

you’ve heard enough. of course. this is why the marauders aren’t near him. it’s a ploy, an intervention if you may.

“no, don’t even.” you pull away from him and push through the throngs of students to get away from him. you toss out a parting over your shoulder before slipping away, “i’ll see you in class.”

just kidding. you sneak back into your dorm and let the blankets swallow you, watching the ceiling to pass the time. remus is not in love with you. he never will be.

as you count the amount of nicks in the ceiling paint for the forty-hundredth time, you think about him again. as you have for the past eight years.

even if he’s not in love with you–you can’t imagine a life without him. you can’t sacrifice your friendship, all those friendly touches, the feeling of his warm hand splayed against your back, the sight of him curled in his bed with his newest book. how could you never discuss your favorite books with him again? how could you sacrifice that golden look that makes you melt over as you speak? those perfectly brewed cups of tea, vanilla-scented sweaters, knitted thickly with love?

he’s your best friend. the answer is, you could never live without him. even if you’re in love with him and he’s not, in fact, in love with you back. you’ll just have to get over it.

whoever painted this ceiling left fourteen cracks.

–

you’re going to get over him, you swear it. this is what you repeat as you walk into the great hall, your eyes trained on the ground, slipping into the seat next to lily. you refuse to look at him or any of his friends. you won’t. you can’t.

it’s the first time you’re here. sure, you came by the table this morning, but drawing pictures with ketchup until the whole plate looks like you murdered the bottle isn’t exactly engaging. now, you and marlene are conversing about stupid things: the shoes you need in your wardrobe, your favorite song to listen to while crying in the shower vs. in your bed. and important questions, like what’s better, milk or dark chocolate (dark chocolate, obviously, and don’t even think about saying white chocolate. that is not real chocolate)?

you can feel his eyes on you, drilling almond brown holes into your skull. the urge to look up chokes you. you want to see the curve of his smile, how lopsided it leans on him, the scars that dance around his lips. but you steel yourself. you can’t. you won’t.

–

you’re ignoring him. the problem is, it’s not really working.

no matter where you are, you can feel his eyes on you; even if you’re across the classroom, you swear you can smell the earthiness of his cologne, his sweaters.

fuck.

you are not getting over him anytime soon.

the two of you manage to avoid any contact for what feels like months–days, maybe. in the hallways, you brush past each other, sometimes mumbling an apology or two as you pass. nothing sincere. nothing short of incredibly, incredibly awkward.

you tuck yourself into hidden corners of the library, the astronomy tower, the room of requirement, anywhere where you can get away. from him, from the scary softness of sirius’ eyes when he looks at you, the even more terrifying relative quiet from marlene, who was seemingly instructed to give you space by lily. everything is awkward. and it’s all your fault.

when the glances stares fade, you know why, and you hate yourself for knowing. the full moon’s nearing. remus’ shoulders are sagging, his looks come from lower down. his body is aching more and more, he twists around nearly every class you have together, something you know he’s always done to try and alleviate some pain. his undereyes are bruised and swollen, and you see the brass of his cane around the common room, and you hate that you aren’t there for him. he hates that thing, he always tries to avoid using it.

it must be especially bad this time around.

and when lily comes into your dorm the day before the full moon, skin sunken with exhaustion, you figure something’s up.

“lily?” you ask, jolting up from your book. the mug of tea that he drank the night you stopped talking is still by your bedside. you can’t bring yourself to move it. what if that’s your last memory with him?

“hm?” she murmurs, flopping onto her bed.

“what’s wrong?” you ask as you turn your body towards hers.

she waves her head, face in the pillow.

“you can talk to me about him,” you frown. “it’s related to him, isn’t it? the full moon?”

the redhead sits up, looks at you. she’s not one to lie, never has been. “...yeah. james is just stressed, because he thinks this transformation has already been really painful for him, and it’s only going to get worse tomorrow.”

your head is bobbing. you swallow your feelings–what is that, guilt? shame? you don’t know what. maybe celeste broke up with him. not everything is related to you.

“mhm,” you say in response. absorbing.

she hesitates, mouth opening, before shutting it again. “it’s–well, i don’t…”

you shrug. “you don’t have to say anything, lily.”

so she doesn’t.

—

lily’s right. in the eight years you’ve known him, he has never looked so rough pre-transition. you steal peeks at him all day, like he’s a tv show you weren’t supposed to watch as a kid. it looks like the life is steaming out of him. his hair–artfully messy, as always—is mussed and unwashed. when he walks out of the classroom, it’s a limp, with a slow clunk to it that makes your chest hurt. you want nothing more than to rush over and help him, but no. if he wanted you, well, if he didn’t want celeste, he would have come after you.

he doesn’t want you. you repeat that to yourself when you see him almost pass out onto his plate during lunch, making a worried sirius (yes, sirius of all people, who usually tries to stay calm in situations like these) rush him to his dorm.

but he reappears only an hour later for potions, when his back is tensed, tight, and his shoulders are hunched over. slughorn tries to call on him twice, but he pretends he isn’t there.

your chest aches when he doesn’t show up to dinner, and halfway through, the rest of the marauders disappear, muttering to themselves as they go. you rub your collarbone and watch, your anxiety heightened.

once the great halls door slam, the first place your eyes dart to is the hufflepuff table. you don’t even need to look around to see her. everyone within a ten-person vicinity is ever so slightly turned towards her, like her charisma is impossible to ignore. they want to be her, be with her, know her.

she’s speaking animatedly, tossing out an airy laugh now and then. maybe remus hasn’t told her yet.

some evil, petty part of you relishes in that fact.

the girls are watching you, eyes wide and lips pursed. they’re trying to read you, determine how you’re feeling. dorcas, of all people, has been checking in on you everyday since you and remus fell out, and marlene too, in her own sarcastic way. but seeing them together made you ache for a cavity that could never be filled. a gryffindor love, a spectacular love. one that existed in your if onlys.

you head straight to your room after dinner to try and throw yourself into your homework, but the distraction doesn’t work. you can’t stop thinking about remus. is he okay? you wish you could be with him. why did you start ignoring him in the first place?

as the stars fade into the sky, lily bursts through the door, mary an hour later. marlene sneaks in, then out, then in again, with dorcas by her hand. but as time ticks, ticks, ticks, you can’t stop from looking at it. you’re the only one awake now, but the marauders probably aren’t back yet.

you try your hardest to battle the reluctance that accompanies you to your bed, but you can’t. you just lie there, body tensed as images of remus run through your mind. the two of you visiting his hometown, or him on your lap, your favorite place for him to be. you’ll never forget the feeling of his coarse hair against the lilting touch of your fingers, or how he would turn onto his side, nose bumping against your stomach as he nuzzled into you.

after waiting what feels like hours, you check the clock. yes. he’s back now. you rise as quietly as you can, slipping out of the dorms and darting towards the hospital room. is he okay?

madam pomfrey is nowhere to be seen, and as you pass blue curtain to blue curtain, all you can hear is your shuffling. no one’s here–save for one figure on the end, flat on their back, moonlight filtering through the window above them.

it hugs him in a most flattering light, his eyes closed and relaxed. fuck, he’s already sleeping. you don’t know if you should be happy he won’t see you or not. on your tiptoes, you creep towards his bed, where there’s a chair on his right. when you touch it, it’s still warm. the marauders must have just left.

here he is. remus lupin.

your eyes scan his face and arms, any body part that’s left out from the blankets. he has a fresh cut running from his elbow upwards, through where his t-shirt curls around his bicep. for someone with such fresh scars, he looks so, so beautiful.

the second you sit down on the chair, his eyes fly open.

oh.

he wasn’t sleeping after all.

perhaps the most awkward minute of your life passes, the two of you just staring at each other. your lips are parted, limbs frozen, anticipating.

“rem?” you squeak out, reaching out to touch him as you usually would. you want to trace the scar that runs down his cheek, but he pulls away, muttering.

without even acknowledging you, he turns on his side, burying his head into the pillow.

“oh,” you breathe. he doesn’t want you there. you’re so stupid. why the hell would you come here? you know he likes celeste. you saw them kissing for merlin’s sake.

you’re trying your best to stifle a gasp as your eyes become sticky with tears. what the fuck were you thinking?

“stop it. just stop it,” he groans. “why are you bothering me again?”

your limbs are stuck in place. for some reason, you can’t think, move. your thoughts are spinning in circles, racing around your mind. nothing’s coherent right now.

you look at him again, his muscles shifting against the cotton of his t-shirt, and swallow. this is goodbye, isn’t it? your lips twist.

“i-i’m sorry. i know you probably want to get your rest, i’ll just–” you have to force yourself to stand up, but when you do, your hand accidentally brushes his back on the small bed, and he jerks back, electrocuted. “oh, i–sorry.”

he jolts upright, hands on the bed to support him. “dove?”

you pause your movements, unsure what to do. he knew who you were before, didn’t he? what happened?

maybe he’s just delirious from lack of sleep. you begin to walk away when a warm hand wraps around your wrist, drawing you backwards.

“y/n. i–” he stops when you face him, and you can see the exact moment he sees the tears in your eyes, as he pulls you onto the bed, thumb sweeping the wetness under your eye like it’s second nature. his palm, rough with calluses and scars, supports the softness of your cheek, and you melt. “you’re here. you’re really here?”

his eyes, that soft amber, spilling over with uncertainty and… regret? the same way he would look after one of the marauders’ particularly nasty pranks, or snapping at one of his friends close to the full moon.

you nod, shoulders tense. “i just wanted to come stop by. i didn’t mean to–”

“no, no,” he interrupts, his other hand coming up to rub your arm. “i’m sorry. i didn’t… i’ve just been having, er, i’ve been having dreams of you all week. i thought you weren’t real.”

his face is sparkling with earnestness, a kind of hope you hadn’t seen on him in a while. when you don’t say anything, he takes it as a cue to continue. “i’m also sorry for everything. i thought you wouldn’t want to see me anymore. or… i don’t know.”

“it’s okay, rem,” you promise, trying to build up the cracks threatening to crumble your voice and your resolve. you try to pull away from his touch, but his fingers just find your knee instead, massaging the flesh there. “i didn’t want to get between you and celeste or anything. it seemed like the right thing to do.” the last part of your voice comes out in a throaty whisper.

“no.” he says firmly.

“no?” you ask, shoulders crawling towards your shoulders.

“no. i want you in my life, dove, always. i–celeste and i aren’t anything. i don’t like her. i never did.” his voice peters out, but his gaze on you stays strong. “there’s another girl.”

does he hate you? want to kill you? because that’s sure what he’s doing right now, and he knows you too well to not know the effect he’s having on you. like he took the sword of gryffindor and peeked it into your chest–not enough to kill you by brunt force, but enough to maim, to let you bleed out onto the bed as you stare at him, betrayal tearing open your veins.

“that’s nice, remus.” you don’t even know how words are coming out of your mouth at this point. maybe someone’s taken over your body?

“i’m sorry for not coming up to you, too. i thought it was the right thing to do,” he says quietly, one of his hands dropping from your face. goosebumps follow where his skin met yours. you think the next sound you hear is the crack crack cracking of your heart. “i thought you wanted space from me. and you deserve that. i only let her kiss me cause… well, cause i thought i had to get over you.”

what?

he’s gauging your expression, you can feel it, but again, everything’s spinning. you might pass out. what’s happening? who is this other girl he loves?

“i’ve loved you for so long, but i thought there was never a chance that you could love me back. and then, there was that day. but, you’re you, the most gorgeous girl in all of gryffindor, and then there was me. you deserve so much better than me and how fucked up i am. so i left you alone. i thought it was right.” he glances to the side, bringing his hands to his lap. this is not real. you’re not real. he was right. this was a dream, and any minute this floaty feeling will stop and you won’t feel like you can’t feel your body and you’ll wake up hear your alarm and class will start it’s not real it’s not real it’s not real.

but your hand reaches out to his, shaking. and the next words that tumble out of your lips are: “y-you love me?”

“how could i not?” a laugh slips from his mouth and those eyes–those beautiful, beautiful eyes–are back on you and you can’t swallow breathe think nothing but those eyes, those sweet eyes.

your mouth hangs open. “but…”

“i’m sorry, y/n. and i don’t know if it’s too late, if you’ve found someone better, but i couldn’t ever leave you thinking that i don’t love you back. anyone who didn’t is a fool. an utter fool.” remus scratches at his jaw, lips pursed. “sorry. i just had to say it.”

“you love me,” you repeat, looking at him. “you love me?”

“i always have and i always will. loving you is a part of me, dove, the best part of me there’s ever been.” he sucks in a breath, brings your hand to his lips. when he speaks, you can feel the vibrations of his voice on your skin. “i love you so much.”

you don’t even realize you’re crying until a tear splashes onto his cheek. you move to touch it, leaning closer to his face as your finger smooths the tear out onto his pretty skin. and then–then, oh, god, you’re so close to him. his breath is so warm. he smells so, so good.

“can i kiss you, dove?” he asks so softly that you almost don’t hear him–you’re not even sure you do, it might just be instinct that pushes your lips together. something written into your body from birth. you were meant to be his, he yours.

and merlin, he tastes better than you ever could have imagined.

remus. your remus.

a smile spreads across your lips after your next kiss, slow and so, overwhelmingly perfect. he pecks your teeth, your nose.

“remus,” you say, but a small giggle escapes you before you can finish your sentence. this is surreal. what’s happening right now? are we sure this isn’t a dream? “what are we doing?”

“kissing, dovey,” he answers with another kiss. “and, maybe, if you wanted, i could be yours?”

“you’ve always been mine, rem,” you respond solemnly, and he tugs you down next to him, pulling your body under the covers so you’re flush next to him. “only now i can kiss you.”

his palms come up to your cheeks, one to your hair, and again, the two of you connect–by your lips, sure, but also by you. you’ve connected, there’s no breaking it now.

“and all of that you were saying?” you pull back every so slightly to look at him, to know him. “you are the most perfect soul i could ever ask for. i want you to tell me every time you feel like you don’t deserve me, because that’s just untrue. you deserve everything and more, and you are so perfect for me, i can’t even fathom how you exist.”

at that, he pulls you back into him, plants and plants and plants his lips on your face. “there’s no part of me that doesn’t love you, dove. my heart, my mouth, my soul. all of me.”

and when you’re too tired to kiss any longer, if that concept even exists, you fall asleep leg between his, nose pressed into crease between his neck and jaw, arms around each other, intertwined with him for the night–though, in a way, you always have been. and you always will be.

masterlist

taglist: @lydiasfalling @moonysloveee @treefairy-28 @lolwey @callsignwidow @navs-bhat @hisparentsgallerryy @brxght-world @grxcisxhy-wp @luvv-danielle @idkman5353 > i'm in love with all of u fr

tags: @fairygirl170 @burningwitchprincess @theredvelvetbitch @effervescentpoet @nott-my-riddle @amatoanima @boromoony @daddypriceugh @stqrgirlies-blog @angemyrtille@lydpop @moonlightremblack @moonydoodlez @wizzerreblogs @just-here-for-ff @sodavrr @serenadingtigers @ficcharsimp @lettertovera @djlance-rock @hypn0fl3ct @thewitchesofart @novausstuff @wrenisrad @ayyeitssarahh @a1ienmush @jay-is-a-pinguin @lovergirlsdiary333 @ajtriesart @setayeshmohseni @iraslore @thesecretgirluniverse-blog @nishinoyas-wife @hyperfixatedscorpio @pansyitcanton @hannah44444 @may-madness @girlwihkaleidoscopeeyes @oursweetmoony @whimsicalgirliee

lmk if you'd like to be on my main taglist xx!

italics means i couldn't tag you for some reason 💔 also sorry i've been so mia in the comments, i love and appreciate all of you who are commenting, tysm and have a good day lovelies

#i want you #remus lupin angst #remus lupin x reader #the marauders #harry potter #laufeysvalentine #nora's scribbles ᝰ.ᐟ #marauders #x reader #remus lupin #remus x reader #kisses!

1K notes · View notes

pomegranatesarchive · 4 months ago

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how do you spell bueutiful? | ln4

pairing: lando norris x manager!reader

summary: what are the odds of two dyslexic people dating?…pretty high apparently.

purposely made grammar mistakes, you’ve been warned!!! i fear i might’ve went a little off topic, but here’s this!!! mclaren are the champions, congratulations to my favorite sinister and evil orange team <33

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 428,916 others!

yourusername: oscar took me too diner and then made me pay…3/10 experience would not try again

view comments below!

user1: wait, are you and oscar dating???

user2: no because i’m confused too…is that him in the first picture?

user3: are you guys forgetting that oscar has a whole gf? that cannot be him

user4: but like…this looks like a bf appreciation post?

user5: she’s his manager, ofc she’s going to post him

user6: but are we going to deny that the first picture looks like soft launching 🤨

landonorris: i personally think that the first picture came of wrong, it probably is soft luanching but like no with oscar you know? i don’t know tho, just thinking, but probaly yeah…

user7: you said a whole lotta nothing buddy

user8: he had 3 grammatical mistakes in that sentence

user9: yn had 2 mistakes in her caption 💀

user10: aren’t they both dyslexic?

user12: i just love the way this conversation went

user13: that’s a lot of food for just 2 people 😏

oscarpiastri: to*

oscarpiastri: dinner*

yourusername: first you made me pay for your food and now your correcting my grammar? consider youreself BLOCKED

oscarpiastri: you’re *

oscarpiastri: yourself*

oscarpiastri: + you’re my manager, it should be your job to feed me 🤚

yourusername: my job is too get you contracts so YOU can put food on the table

oscarpiastri: to*

yourusername: ARGH LETS SEE WHO GETS YOU CONTRACTS JOW

oscarpiastri: now*

user14: okay you see i can’t tell if this is flirting

user15: girl 💀 oscar has a gf, they are most definitely just friends

user16: OKAY BUT WHO IS SHE SOFT LAUNCHING WITH

user17: imagine trying to soft launch and people think it’s the guy you manage

user18: it’s her fault honestly, this whole collage is basically saying ‘LOOK ME AND OSCAR ARE DATING’

user19: no you guys are just WERID.

landonorris: horrible soft launch, 2/10

user20: oh?

yourusername: shut up lando norris

landonorris: make me yn ln

user21: OH SO YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES SOFT LAUNCHING

user22: i'd sure hope so, or else yns bf should be feeling real confused right now

liked my landonorris, alex_albon, and 269,085 others!

yourusername: me (a dyslexic) when i realized that being a manger means reading hundreds of documents over and over again

view comments below!

user23: (a dyslexic) is taking me out

user24: I hope you are aware that you are great inspiration for me, (a dyslexic)

user25: alll jokes aside, how do you handle that?

yourusername: i take billons and billons of breaks 🫠 if i didnt i would go mad

oscarpiastri: billions*

yourusername: i have a gun

user26: still soft launching i see

user27: i still don’t think lando and her are dating, oscar and her all the way 💯

user28: how delusional does one have to be…

user29: you people make me want to rip my hair out!!! yn and oscar are NOT dating

user27: says who?

user29: THEM!! THEM THEMSELVES HAVE SAID IT

user27: and i’m just supposed to believe everything they say?

user28: i will kill you

user29: pls for the love of everything just post a picture of you and lando making out so these idiots WILL SHUT THE FUCK UP

liked by landonorris

user30: you guys need to leave these dyslexic lovers ALONE

liked by mclaren, lewishamilton, and 381,018 others!

yourusername: mclaren? sorry i only know 2024 consturcters CHAMPIONS!!!!

view comments below!

user31: constructors*

user32: y’all act like she can help it

user33: can you imagine getting correct on something you can’t help 24/7

user34: oh i’d be SICK

oscarpiastri: constructors***

oscarpiastri: jokes aside, thanks for your big part of this, i guess 👍

yourusername: oh you love me

user35: never being the allegations

landonorris: love hm?

yourusername: love love love

oscarpiastri: please stop you two make me feel awkward

user36: how do you think we feel

user37: everyday i fight off oscar x yn shipperd just for yall to pull this? sick i say, SICK

user38: i swear yn and lando are just playing with us, JUST SAY IF YOUR DATING OR NOT

user39: is just me that thinks it’s pretty obvious they’re dating?…

maxverstappen1: don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone you paid me off so i can back off and let mclaren win!!

yourusername: SLANDER

maxverstappen1: thank god your check cleared

yourusername: 1) of course my check cleared who do you think i am? 2) if i DID pay you off, it wouldn’t been for the drivers championship, not the constructors, duh 🙄

maxverstappen1: wow your admitting to THINKING about paying me off? FIA GET HER ASS

oscarpiastri: you would’ve paid him off to give ME the drivers championship, right?

yourusername: …

oscarpiastri: …right?

yourusername: ……

landonorris: the tables are turned 😏

oscarpiastri: you two are SICK we agreed that when you and lando started dating ME, OSCAR PIASTRI would come first. don’t talk to me, i don’t want to hear it

user40: oh

user41: no way this is how lando and yn make it official

maxverstappen1: i have created destruction, see you guys after the break!

user42: THIS IS SO FUNNY??

user43: weeks of soft launching and we get confirmation by oscar?? of all people???

user44: i don’t think i’ve ever seen oscar so emotional

user45: it just got so real

liked my oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 519,028 others!

yourusername: courtisy of oscar

view comments below!

maxverstappen1: this is max erasure! i’m the one who started the conversation :( give me my credit!

yourusername: are you serious?

maxverstappen1: yes…

yourusername: 😐 okay max, i give you credit for announcing my relatinship to the world!

maxverstappen1: thank you 😊

user28: @ user27 i don’t think that’s oscar! hmmm, who would’ve thought?

user46: oh he’s in LOVE

user47: the look in his eyes—omg i can’t

user48: my jaw stayed in place

oscarpiastri: courtesy** dummy

yourusername: WOAH

landonorris: OSCAR JACK PIASTRI, YOU TAKE THAT BACK

oscarpiastri: IM SORRY im still not over your betrayal

yourusername: you will always be my second choice for the drivers championship 🧡

oscarpiastri: YOU ARE MY MANAGER, I SHOULD LEGALLY AND MORALLY BE YOUR FIRST CHOICE

landonorris: how do you spell bueutiful?

carlossainz55: did you just try to call yourself beautiful?

landonorris: no? i called my girlfriend beautiful

carlossainz55: there’s no photos of yn here, it’s just you

landonorris: so?

carlossainz: so you just called yourself beautiful, or at least tried too

landonorris: hm. it’s okay, yn understands what i meant 🧡 right?

yourusername: yup…totally

oscarpiastri: she totally didn’t understand what you meant

user49: this whole relationship makes me so happy

#f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x y/n #f1 x female reader #f1 x you #f1 social media au #f1 #f1 fluff #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fluff #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris smau #lando norris fic #lando norris x reader #lando norris

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five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 3 months ago

Text

never stop deal with this so this your periodic reminder that

⬇️

!! if you see someone write different online. unless they explicitly tell you something different. leave them alone. don’t comment on their write. don’t do anything unprompted to “help” without ask. it rude annoying we heard it million times promise. !!

⬆️

some people with language disorders. agrammatism. cognitive struggles. or write with symbol base AAC that not support grammar inflections.

yes we will sometimes write different than you use to.

yes it not “correct grammar,” you so observant (sarcasm).

no it not for fun, no it not choice, no it not writing quirk.

whatever you want say, we probably heard it million times. yes even if it friendly joke - n we appreciate you friendly. but please

great that it “actually help you read/understand better than full grammar.” some people may like you tell them that. but personally not want hear it too - my way write my disability, it about me n it not on purpose it out of my control. would rather you talk about how way break down concept (something can actually control n try really hard at) as easy understand.

“this just gave stroke/seizure/whatever ‘funny’ ‘edgy’ disability” joke. not that anyone make it would listen but. shut up. it not funny to me it not funny to stroke survivors or to seizure havers.

decide stop apologize for exist if it hard read. even if you have receptive language / comprehension / reading / cognitive / etc disability - it unfortunate but conflicting accessibility exist. (yes, do understand actually, because speak from experience.)

if you want know what am say please at least put in some effort to read it.

if after genuine try, still struggle, do what you do when you see tumblr post in “perfect grammar” you don’t understand - polite ask for explain or rephrase or summarize.

it still english, or whatever language person use. unless you actual look for it be turn different language, it still english, no you not need “translate.” (no don’t care that “translate” okay in writing quirk community because again. not writing quirk)

not “fix.”

and. understand sometimes we can’t rephrase in different way, even if that different way include still write different.

personally am allow other people answer “can you rephrase” questions without go through me first, for now, because of this. - but understand this is reluctant compromise. because:

understand sometimes we still sensitive to other people rewrite explain in perfect grammar. because have long history of people refuse put effort in read our stuff but instead always give more attention to people who write perfect, even if their writing not any less complicated than ours. because have long history of be charity case n get unsolicit “help” “translate” when we never ask.

because have long history of be forcibly spoken for n be misunderstood. because people who answer may (& many times do) get it wrong & we then have to spend more effort chase down n correct when we already struggle with communication, n that other version always spread faster than our correction.

so know other people who write different, don’t allow people rephrase at all unless go through them first. please also respect that even if inconvenient.

n on that note.

unless we give you explicit permission to you (like “you specifically can do it” or like above “can do it if someone ask,” or “anyone can do it all times”). don’t. don’t rewrite what we write into correct grammar, into perfect grammar.

don’t give random disabled person unsolicited help. it not friendly it not helpful it rude n annoying. not your charity case. who even are you. no one asked.

none. of. your. business.

not need your fix. get off moral high ground.

n like everything. there some jokes n comments that *some* people who write different may be okay with if they friend with that person make it - sometimes opposite of what this post say. if you not friend with that person then. maybe don’t.

people who write different not all same. sometimes okay or not okay with different things. but. this general see.

the first time you hear about [stuff am tell you in post] probably 456737th time we re-explain it. excuse us for be exhausted n done n our time be tired n angry n impatient.

this been a PSA.

#loaf screm #long post

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bakuhatsufallinlove · 2 months ago

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here’s the OTHER leaker translation I would explode out of existence

listen.

I know, okay?

I know everyone loves this. I know everyone lost their shit for it. But I hate it.

I will admit honestly that it is 70% abject fury over the misuse of one word. Another 20% is frustration over how the fandom reacted to the official translation with such vitriol and how the leaker fueled it with their smug comments. That final 10% amounts to what some might consider pedantic or nitpicky. But I don't care.

This translation sucks. It doesn't sound cool, it doesn't sound threatening, and the leaker's rookie mistakes ruin what makes this moment great for me.

Allow me to elaborate.

The emphasis is on the wrong part

I’ve talked about some of the pronoun differences in this line before, but did you know Katsuki also changes the particles every time?

‘Cause I sure don’t think the leaker noticed. Grammar particles are what determine the relationship between words in a sentence. They pack a lot of punch, denoting subject, object, indirect object, purpose, location, time, origin point, direction of movement, means or method—and a bunch more shit that can be hard to describe.

Word order and particles work together to direct our attention to specific parts of a sentence, emphasizing the importance of what is being said. They are some of the most difficult parts of Japanese for learners to grasp and use with the same ease that native speakers do. I’m acutely aware of this weakness, so I often pay particular attention to them. Let’s break down how each iteration shifts the meaning and emphasis of the base sentence.

First time

Chapter 322 おまえが拭えねぇもんは俺たちが拭う omae ga nuguenee mon wa oretachi ga nuguu

Katsuki uses ga with both the second person pronoun for Izuku and the first person plural pronoun for himself and Class 1-A. Ga emphasizes the word that comes directly before it, so this focuses not on the verb itself, but the persons doing the verb. Katsuki's first person plural pronoun oretachi of course means "we," but if you wanted to highlight his literal meaning, he's saying: "the things you cannot handle, me and the people with me will handle."

Second time

Chapter 323 てめーが拭えねーもんはこっちで拭う temee ga nuguenee mon wa kocchi de nuguu

Here, Katsuki retains ga for Izuku’s second person pronoun, but changes both his first person pronoun and its particle, giving us kocchi de. This shifts the implication of who is doing the act—the first time, Katsuki's "we" pronoun highlighted the classmates who accompanied him and acted with him to help save Izuku. But by the time he says this line again, a number of people outside their class have stepped forward to defend Izuku’s return to UA.

Unlike distinctly singular pronouns like ore, kocchi both refers to oneself and something greater than oneself. By switching to this, Katsuki expands that narrow “me and the people with me” into “our side,” presenting the people who support Izuku as a unified force.

You see, kocchi de subtly shifts the verb to being executed by subject(s) defined by a specific characteristic or condition.

Explanations of particle de from Mainichi Nonbiri. The heading and explanation read, "Subject: 'De' is used to denote the subject who deals with or engages in the action expressed by the predicate."

The first example uses jibun de (by oneself) to describe the conditions under which the listener is asked to execute the verb. The third uses gikai de (in the parliament or by the parliament, as a governing body representing many people) to explain the plurality and nature of the subject executing the verb.

The second example uses socchi de, which is the second person "you" version of kocchi, meaning your side. With this, you can see the purpose is to highlight division: "you did that over there on your side of things without any input from me."

Kocchi de as Katsuki uses it likewise creates "sides" by highlighting connection.

These details emphasize Izuku as the person who cannot handle these things and the relationship he has with the people supporting him, a collective Katsuki aligns himself with.

If we maintain this emphasis and the conditions in a literal way, we have: "The things you cannot handle, our side will handle for you."

Third time

Chapter 405 OFA(あいつ)に拭えねーもんはこっちで拭うってなあぁああ！！！ OFA (aitsu) ni nuguenee mon wa kocchi de nuguutte naaaa!!!

I want you to look really close at the particle ni.

Then look at the way the first word balloon ends with the particle wa.

And hear me when I say that this does not emphasize Izuku.

Ni is not a particle for emphasis. If Izuku's personal inability to handle AFO were being highlighted, Katsuki could have used には, which I talk about briefly in this post:

The combination of the two particles ni and wa are used to emphasize, compare, and contrast. This is extremely telling just on its own. Izuku is emphasizing the fact that, compared to everyone he could possibly tell, he cannot tell Katsuki this. He might be able to tell other people, but when it comes to Katsuki, he cannot. Ienai does not specify where the limitation stems from, but ni wa sure implies it.

If Katsuki wanted to disparage Izuku in comparison to himself, like "that guy obviously can't handle you, so I'll do it," he would have said something like this. He even could have slapped his own singular pronoun and ga in there (俺が拭う) to emphasize himself as an individual actor. But that's not what he did.

The particle wa tells us what the topic is. Neither Katsuki nor Izuku are the topic in any iteration of this line; they are subjects engaging with the verbs. The topic is "the things OFA (that guy) can't handle."

Now, because every other time Katsuki said this line had ga in it too, wa wasn't quite as strong as it is this third time. If ga emphasizes what comes before it, then wa emphasizes what comes after. It tells us, "this is the topic, now hold onto your seats."

Katsuki is emphasizing the predicate and the verb. What's gonna happen and how it's gonna happen.

He's saying, "our side is gonna fucking crush you."

The wa particle and the separate balloons build tension, suspense, and excitement—which the leaker instantly deflates. By front-loading Katsuki as both topic and subject ("I'm the guy"), the emphasis is no longer on the promise of destruction he will deliver on.

The emphasis is indisputably on the part after the balloon break, so the mention of Izuku ("when that nerd can't handle it all on his own") reads weirdly like an insult. Hell, most of the words the leaker uses are about Izuku's inability to handle the situation, which bloat the second half of the line and effectively kill the momentum.

Fumbling the flow of a line is a common mistake for amateur translators. Sometimes, it's hard to avoid because Japanese grammar is often the inverse of English grammar; maintaining the original order may render it awkward or even unintelligible.

But that is not the case here.

pikahlua's literal translation

There's no reason to reorder the clauses. You can spruce up the wording, but the lines are perfectly understandable and effective in this order even at their most literal.

The leaker chose to reorder the lines this way, and their translation is worse for it.

Viz Comparison

Official translation by Viz

After what I've said about particles, pacing, and emphasis, I think you can plainly see that the official translator understood these details and made his own choices to highlight them.

Any time you get text with furigana (explained here), you have to decide how to incorporate those dual pieces of information into the text. He could have translated this as "that guy couldn't keep you in the ground," but instead he prioritized the reference to OFA.

By doing this, Viz's translation avoids the implication of insult towards Izuku that the leaker falls prey to.

He also made the choice to translate kocchi as "we."

First, I’m bringing this post back around to remind people that kocchi is a pronoun of ambiguous plurality. This means that an interpretation of “we” is just as correct as an interpretation of “I.” Readers may interpret it differently, but on simply linguistic grounds, they are of equal validity. You will often see this kind of ambiguous language used in Japanese, even with characters that are forthright. The reason is one part cultural expectation that the listener will read between the lines, and one part a willingness to accept two things as simultaneously true. This exists and is frequently found in English as well, there just isn’t a direct parallel for kocchi itself.

A number of people were infuriated by this, because they felt some sort of bkdk moment was erased by Katsuki saying "we" rather than "I."

Yet it seemed like these same people were also mad one week prior when the leaker and the official translator worded Katsuki's rallying cry slightly differently.

Chapter 404. Leaker, left. Official, right.

The claim there was apparently that the official translator was ignoring Katsuki's character development.

And like, which is it, guys? Do you want him centering the collective or himself?

The fact is that the official translation's characterization of Katsuki in the final battle is internally consistent with itself, while the leaker's is all over the goddamn place. Let us never forget that the leaker was just straight up WRONG here while the official got it exactly right.

Chapter 408. Leaker, left. Official, right.

People were losing their shit that Viz made Katsuki "insult himself" and "expect failure" as though he's never used temee to refer to himself self-deprecatingly before.

And then the leaker just had to pretend that didn't happen in the next fucking chapter, while the official got to correctly reiterate their interpretation like they were taking a victory lap.

Chapter 409. Leaker, left. Official, right.

All of this makes it unbelievably rich for the leaker to go and say shit like this:

The leaker is an amateur translator. They spent ages stealing an artist's work and releasing it illegally for a profit with shoddy translations and misleading, even outright false "summaries."

Based on the nature of their translation mistakes, it is obvious to me that they are not fluent in Japanese, yet here they are bragging about their inability to understand how kocchi could mean "we."

Right before the line in question, Katsuki emphasizes himself as an individual in declaring himself to be the final boss.

Chapter 405 俺がラスボスだ AFO!! ore ga rasu bosu da AFO!!

And then, by using ってな, Katsuki is basically quoting himself.

"I said we were gonna handle what that guy couldn't, didn't I!?"

This suggests he is repeating the established meaning for emphasis, not changing it. If kocchi was plural when he said it in chapter 323, it's reasonable for it to still be plural here. Katsuki is not ignoring himself as an individual by doing this; he is rubbing it in AFO's face that neither he nor Izuku are solitary actors fighting this battle alone, they both belong to something greater than themselves.

I'm gonna step up on a soapbox for a bit.

I am kinda tired of people calling Japanese vague. I often see it used to imply Japanese is inherently hard to understand or that it doesn't have the capacity for specificity. Like any language, Japanese can be used to express specific, clear, and direct information. While it is true Japanese culture values indirectness as a way to maintain harmony, I would like to challenge the ethnocentricism I feel sometimes goes unaddressed in this topic.

Japanese is less tolerant of repetition and verbal excess than English is; information that has been established should only be repeated for a purpose. Japanese speakers expect their conversation partners to maintain awareness of context, social expectations, and specific interpersonal information to grasp the intended meaning of their words. Specificity is doled out when it is warranted or desired.

Specificity divides one thing from another, drawing lines in the sand and saying "this is this, and that is that." English often requires repetitive specificity to even be grammatically comprehensible. And while this might not be directly related, many English-speaking countries tend to have a more individualistic outlook on society than collectivist countries like Japan.

To me, "vague" often smacks of a value judgment: "there should be division here, and there isn't."

I said earlier that kocchi creates division by highlighting sides, us vs. them, but when people press on and ask, "but did he say we or I? which did he REALLY mean?" I just want to say that really? truly? he meant both. all of the above.

I think it is unproductive to think of Japanese as vague just because it doesn't exclude possibilities as often or as strongly as English does. I think it is a lot more useful and interesting to think of Japanese as expansive.

Why should there be division between Katsuki and the people fighting by his side? Why should he separate himself from the people who saved his life and risked their own in relentless pursuit of their common, heroic goal?

Why is it unacceptable to imagine an "I" belonging so sincerely and wholly to a "we" that their voices are one?

Katsuki's words reflect the fact that this fight being fought by a collective, a team.

In this context, OFA is a weapon in their arsenal, just as Katsuki himself is.

He is a force of nature, an agent of their willpower.

Chapter 404

He rode upon the winds of their prayers, ushered on by Izuku's hopes

and his own regrets,

to change the course of fate itself.

For much of the series, Katsuki is our beacon of individualism, of defiant refusal to bend to the will and expectations of others.

But Katsuki is also our image of victory. He shows us how to face our failures and change our hearts. He is our proof that rejecting others only hurts us in the end—his love for Izuku and Izuku's love for him is the story's greatest proof that as human beings, we are not better alone, we are better with each other. Other people change us, inspire us, and we do the same for them.

We need each other. We belong to each other.

It is in this final battle where Katsuki becomes his truest self, overcoming every obstacle in his path, making up for every painful regret in his heart, and utilizing every single thing in his grasp to save and win.

If Katsuki ever truly belonged to something bigger than himself, it is in this moment right here.

English divides the one from the many, and while that has its benefits, I think there is real, honest beauty to be found in a word that smooths those lines in the sand until there is no distinction at all.

That's who the fucking "we" is, rukasu.

Now onto my next gripe.

Katsuki is supposed to sound badass here

Frankly, the fan fury surrounding Viz's use of "we" completely overshadowed the fact that the phrase "One For All couldn't keep you in the ground" is fucking metal.

It rules. I'm fucking jealous I didn't write those words. It is such a good translation and it packs so much punch and I wouldn't have thought of it in a thousand years.

The official translator focuses his efforts on genre-specific tone translation, and sometimes he really nails it. I will freely admit that I find his style grating or overwrought at times, and indeed, one of his key weaknesses is that the flavor of comic-book dialogue he pulls from can sound one generation too old to be cool.

One of the most damning examples of this is him having Katsuki utter the word "bub"—

Chapter 406

—which I think no English-speaker under the age of 30 had actually heard before Deadpool & Wolverine came out.

Honestly, if you just read Wolverine comics from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, you can see the character archetype he leans into for Katsuki's dialogue. 405's tagged-on "—and then some!!" is straight out of American action movies.

But the main point here is that Katsuki is taunting AFO and threatening him. He blows up AFO's face, announces himself as the final boss, then vows to kick his ass to death on behalf of everyone. It's amazing.

The line sounds cool as fuck in Japanese. The "naaaa" flourish at the end is nearly untranslatable in any direct way that still captures the appeal and impact of it.

I tend to think of sentence enders like this as flavor text or tone tags. To properly convey them in English, you may have to add a bunch of words, and you have to choose them carefully.

All of this is to say, the official translation tries pretty hard to make Katsuki sound cool. Do they succeed? I think to an extent, they do.

I actually think it's possible the translator did recognize the callback, but wasn't satisfied with the effect of repeating it. You can see that "finish the job" is supposed to link Izuku's actions to theirs, while also sounding grandiose and final.

The Viz translator might've simply prioritized showcasing the cool-guy threat while maintaining the collectivist angle, rather than matching the callback word for word. I don't really think that's the best choice, but I can see why it might be made.

The leaker's translation doesn't make any real effort to up the ante. Maybe this line is cool to somebody, but it ain't me.

In fact, are we ever gonna acknowledge that the leaker's translation just scoops up most of its wording from the official release of chapters 322 and 323?

"I'm the guy who steps in when that nerd can't handle it all on his own!!"

The leaker was not responsible for these translations, but just look at how other people tried to grapple with Katsuki's metaphor.

In fact, the only person whose choice of words prophetically matched Viz was pikahlua, four days before the official release:

And even then, you can see that "step in when" is unique to Viz.

I'm not saying that similarities in translation are unacceptable or that directly referencing the official release is bad, but I do find it truly incredible they had the gall to shit-talk the official translator after cheating off his damn homework.

The leaker basically contributed six words: "I'm the guy who" and "that nerd." I personally disagree with "the guy who" as a translation addition, just because I think it too strongly isolates him in a way that using "I" and "I'm" by themselves do not, but it wouldn't have been terrible if they had also maintained the original clause order: "One For All couldn't handle you... but I'm the guy who—", something like that.

This brings us to my final gripe.

Katsuki did not say “that nerd.”

The leaker made that shit up, they inserted it for no reason and ignored the two pronouns the original text actually provides, OFA and aitsu (that guy).

In the manga, Katsuki has never called Izuku a nerd to villains, not once. It is rare for him to use it while speaking to someone other than Izuku, period. It’s an insulting pet name he uses towards Izuku or while muttering angrily to himself about Izuku.

To be clear, the narrator who uses "shitty nerd" is not Katsuki, they merely validate the accuracy of his nickname for Izuku. Yes, I just linked to my tag for the whole damn 348 chapter, because I've argued against this theory a lot, just read 'em all, it's a good time.

By my count, he only uses it once while talking to Todoroki in chapter 42 and once to Ochako in a 5-page bonus chapter for the first character guide, set shortly after chapter 65. Both take place very early in the series and both are examples of his intense grudge against Izuku.

Did you know that the last time Katsuki uses "nerd" towards Izuku directly is in chapter 320?

Who's ignoring Katsuki's character development again?

The fact is the word doesn't exist in 405's text, and there just isn't precedent for him to say it to All For One.

Trash-talk doesn’t work if your opponent has no clue what the hell you’re talking about. AFO would have no idea who “that nerd” is even supposed to be, because they were not already discussing Izuku, unlike both canon instances of Katsuki using it in conversation with others. The audibly-pronounced aitsu just means "that guy over there (physically near neither you nor me)" and you could argue that is unclear, too, but it's relatively neutral and context clues everyone in to the fact that he means Izuku, with whom he just did an explosive, flying duo move.

I think some bkdk fans were keen to see him use the tsundere insult we all love so much, but it just doesn't read right to me. Writing an insult towards Izuku into this kind of line, even an affectionate one, misdirects the aggression and fails to highlight how Katsuki makes a mockery of AFO during their fight.

I really do think it undercuts how, in his big moment of taunting the greatest villain in history, Katsuki brings up making good on a vow he made to Izuku.

And let's not forget that there is a definitive moment where Katsuki references his relationship with Izuku while taunting AFO:

Chapter 406

To roast the villain for his stupidity in misidentifying him, Katsuki loudly announces himself to be Bakugou no Kacchan.

Katsuki proudly identifies himself with the cutesy nickname his childhood friend has used for him their whole damn lives. That's a far cry from somebody who'd insult Izuku just to hype himself up.

So, no, I don't accept "that nerd." I think the leaker just added it to make their translation sound cooler, but they did so at the expense of Katsuki's character. It's tacky, cheap, and not based in any honest reading of the text.

Put the nickname in your fanworks however brings you joy. Really, go for it, I know I sure do!

But let's not pretend Katsuki said it here.

In conclusion

Katsuki's dialogue offers a unique array of challenges to translators. I would never argue that he is easy to translate, and so much of his characterization is expressed in the minutiae of what he says. Much of his dialogue contains layers of meaning, and any translator is going to have to make a call about how to interpret those layers and what to highlight.

I made this post to say my piece about a translation tons of English-speaking fans love. In the process of dissecting what frustrated me about it, I researched and studied and learned so much.

And to be honest with you, I don't know that I have a solution for this line. I thought of a ton of options:

One For All couldn't keep you in the ground... but we're here to step in and finish the job once and for all!!

I promised we'd step in when that guy couldn't handle it on his own... and I fucking meant it!!

After all, what One For All can't handle... he's got us here to handle for him!!

One For All couldn't stop you… so it's a good thing that guy's got us here to step in and finish the job!!

If the guy with One For All can't get it done alone... then we're here to take you down for him!!

Maybe One For All couldn't handle the job alone... but our side is still gonna kick your ass!!

Some of them are very fun, and each highlights a different set of priorities: collectivism, connection, coolness, intimidation, and so on.

But you could pick apart my words the same way I picked apart the leaker's and Viz's.

There will never be a one true translation. There can't be. For as many readers as there are, there are just as many interpretations to what Katsuki's words mean and what is important about them.

In every translation, you face loss—loss of information, loss of specificity, loss of ambiguity, loss of emotionality, loss of cultural meaning. Your job as a translator is to lose as little as possible, and to make sure you can stomach the things you do lose.

You also gain things in translation. New meanings, new layers, new cultural implications. By showing the audience what you see and choosing how you say it to them, you add something of yourself to the work. You can't not.

As a translator, I want to keep learning and trying and going beyond. I want to do right by the things I translate. I want to share the things I love with other people and figure out, as best I can, how to make them see what is beautiful about it.

Unlike Bakugou Katsuki, we translators can never achieve a perfect victory.

But it's always worth trying.

#I love Bakugou Katsuki #I love him with all my heart #he is my hero #he has given me so much #volume 40 comes out officially in English tomorrow #and if this line gets revised I'll laugh my ass off #and probably think about this all over again #really I'll never stop thinking about this stuff #because as much shit-talking as I'm doing here #it really is so so exciting to see how other people translate things #I love language #I love manga #and I love Bakugou no Kacchan #image of victory #and perfect boy #a creature of love #who loved another boy so truly and so deeply #that I dedicated hours and months and years of my life to learning Japanese even better #so I could see him properly #thank you Kacchan #and thank you to everyone who reads my blog #I think this is the longest fucking post on my blog ever so if you made it to the end #seriously #thank you #mha 322 #mha 323 #mha 404 #mha 405 #mha 406 #mha 408

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billiesleftboobie · 1 day ago

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Notice me

Billie eilish x reader

Summary: Billie is exhausted after a long day craving for comfort but feels ignored instead

Warnings: angst, fluff(?), reader is a writer (idk if thats a warning tbh) hurt/comfort

a/n: Hellooo! After a long time I'm back at writing. I had time cause I'm sick and I got struck with inspiration suddenly so here I am. Once again I apologise for any grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!

Shoulders slumped, back aching, Billie slammed the front door shut. She dropped her big bag onto the floor with a thud. It had been the longest day—interview after interview after interview. Everything seemed to go wrong, like the whole universe was aginst her.

From burning her finger while making breakfast, to finding a stain on a freshly washed outfit she wanted to wear today. It had all started to pile up and grow her frustration.

Then there was the interviews. Usually she doesn't mind them but she had been tired and grumpy all day and had to force a smile on her face for every single one of them, answering the same questions about her latest album and tour over and over again.

A long, exhausted sigh left Billie's lips as she leans aginst the closed front door. She kicked her shoes off, not caring to put them away neatly. Her whole expression just screamed exhaustion and frustration. All she wanted to do was curl up in your arms and sleep.

Billie picked her heavy bag up again and slung it on her achy shoulder. She was on a mission to find you.

The whole house was dimly lit and quiet, creating a calming environment for Billie's overwhelmed mind. With heavy steps, she made her way upstairs to your shared bedroom. She slowly and quietly opened the door assuming you'd be asleep by now. Billie's long day had stretched untill midnight.

But there you were, sitting on your shared bed, under the covers, a laptop in your lap, typing away with a focused look on your face. Your hair was pulled messily away from your face with a silk scrunchie. You had on a (Billie's) hoodie that was almost swallowing you whole.

Billie stood there for a second kind of expecting you to say something—or at least look up from your screen. But nothing.

Billie, tired of waiting, walked into the dark room, only lit by your laptop. She flopped down onto the bed next to you with a heavy sigh.

For a brief second you glanced at your exhausted girlfriend laying face-first on top of the soft, plush matress untill your eyes darted to your screen again. "Hi babe"

"Hey..." Billie responded, her voice muffled by the matress. She groaned and rolled over so she could see her girlfriend. All she wanted and needed was to be comforted, held and to sleep.

Billie looked at you, but you weren't looking at her. Just your screen while your fingers dance on the keyboard. "My day was awful.." Billie finally said.

"Thats good..." you replied, typing in more words, clearly not listening enough to realize what Billie had actually said. Your mind was filled with finishing this chapter with the creative flow that had striked you.

Billie scoffed. "Are you kidding? You're not even listening to me," Her lips form into a frown, her eyebrows furrow with frustration. When you didn't move or respond, Billie's chest tightend. Her mouth was slightly open, she felt helpless. All she needed right now was a little atenttion from the one person she trusted the most. But you seemed to be more interested in your book.

She knew you weren't doing it on purpose—you'd never do that, but when you get hit with inspiration, it's like the whole world shuts down around you and all you can see and think are words, sentences and scenarios on your laptop screen.

Billie gave up, clearly too tired for this. She stood up from the bed and went to get ready to sleep. She took off the clothes she wore all day, slid off the great amount of rings on her fingers and dropped every piece of jewlery she had on onto her vanity, not bothering to organize them. Billie felt mentally heavy after being ignored by you and all she could think about was sleeping and getting this day over.

She pulled on a comfortable t-shirt and then made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth and do her nightly skincare routine even though exhaustion pulled at her tired limbs.

Eventually Billie flopped back on the bed, turned away from you and curled up with the blankets on her side.

Eventually the sound of typing slowed down on your side of the bed, the creative buzz leaving your body. You shutted your laptop after saving what you had written today. You put your laptop aside and sat up a bit. A yawn escaped your lips, and you turned to look at Billie. Your eyebrows furrowed seeing Billie's still form. She looked like she was sleeping but it was obvious she wasn't.

"Billie?"

Billie's shoulders were hunched, her breathing was slow, pretending like she was asleep. You felt awful; guilt pooled in your chest. You didn't mean to ignore her or make her feel like she was in second place from your novel. You had just wanted to finish your chapter and then give all of your atenttion to Billie but it had taken longer than expected.

"Come on I know you aren't asleep... talk to me..." you reach and arm out and gently caress Billie's side.

"Look. I'm sorry, baby I didn't mean to ignore you I was just too focused on my novel.." you tried to explain, hoping Billie would understand and forgive you. You had a flicker of hope inside of you, a hopeful flicker that yearned for forgiveness.

"It's whatever.." Billie's voice was small, and it was hurt. It wasn't "whatever" to you. You scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her form. "Please talk to me.."

Billie hesitated at first, but then finally she opened up "I just needed some comfort. I had a horrible day and I got ignored..."

You let her words sink in, the slience around you felt like it was closing in. You took a deep breath. You felt so awful it ached in your chest and you'd do anything to make up for your mistakes.

"I.." You started out, but the words were stuck in your throat. "I've been.. I know I've been writing alot recently.. I've been so caught up in it I seem to forget everything happening around me but thats no excuse to not notice you.. and your exhaustion and needs.."

You took a deep breath. "But I want you to understand that you mean so much more to me than that whole damn book okay? You mean the world to me Billie and I'd never in a million years want to make you feel ignored"

Billie shifts in my arms, turning around to face me. There was a glimmer of understanding and forgiveness in her eyes. Billie knew you all too well, you'd always put her before anything and you never meant to ignore her on purpose. After that long day she just needed some atenttion and when you were focused with something else for a while it made her feel even more torn.

"I'm not mad at you.. I just wanted you"

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Relief rushed through you and a small smile found its way to your lips. You wrapped your arms tighter around Billie and kissed her forehead gently.

"And now you have me."

a/n: feel free to leave requests if you'd like me to write something :)

#billie eilish #billie eilish fanfiction #billie eilish x female reader #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish x you #billie eilish x y/n #fiction #billie eilish fic #viral #billie eilish fluff #billie eilish wlw #billie x reader #billie eilish angst #lesbian #wlw fiction #wlw #wlw fanfic

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gentedame · 6 days ago

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le vampire et son lâche — alucard x gender neutral reader, smut/slight angst

content: slow burn, dom!reader, sub!alucard, clothed sex, grinding, teasing, alucard is a bit of a crier, reader has a backstory

author's note: man this is kinda ass but i still enjoy how it turned! sorry for the potential spelling and grammar mistakes, english is not my first language! the title of the fic, "le vampire et son lâche", means "the vampire and his coward". hope you'll like it!

reblogs and comments are always appreciated!!♡

"They left?!" You ask, nearly yelling, standing at the door outside of the castle as you look at the coach already too far for you to run after it. Alucard seems to be surprised, before he approaches with a smile. "I'm sure Belmont forgot you. He would do that..."

Well. That's partially true...

Yesterday, you had trouble sleeping. So you had a conversation with Sypha and Trevor. About your thoughts on what happened after the fight with Dracula. About what you will do now. About your feelings for him. You remember Trevor mimicking a vomit sound as Sypha told you that you should confess.

Bastards. They did it on purpose. You're stuck with him now. Why did you tell them again ? You sigh, mixed feelings going through your whole mind. Annoyance? Happiness? Horny? Nah, let's forget the third suggestion... Alucard notices your face, then slowly walks to you, frowning his eyes in confusion.

"[Name], are you okay?" He asks, his hand about to touch your shoulder, before stopping himself, resting it agaisnt his hips. "I... I'm sure they noticed you're not with them and that they will come back to pick you." He tells you, doing his best to make you feel better about the situation. Oh, sweet Adrian. He thinks you want to leave this huge ass castle and the fine man he is. Well, you did want to leave, at first, but that was because you were scared of your own feelings for him. You thought about everything he could say to you;

"Sorry, I'm not into humans."

"Sorry, I love Trevor."

"Sorry, I love Sypha."

"Sorry, you stink. It makes me want to kill you."

Okay maybe the last one was a bit extreme. But still, you wish you could know if you like him. You don't want to confess unless you are sure he likes you. So yeah, you're staying, but no weird thing. No pickup line. No flirty jokes. Nothing. Just two friends, staying in a big castle. What could go wrong ?

- ♡ -

You stayed with Alucard for around 2 or 3 months now. Trevor and Sypha never came back, as you expected. But you could care less about it now. You're worried for Alucard.

At first, it was going on well. You both were doing your thing, eating together, going on a walk and talking about everything that went through your mind. Then, he started to make these weird dolls of Trevor and Sypha and made them speak. Well, that thing is the least weird thing he could have done, but still, you're worrying ! You got more worried when, some weeks before, you saw him in his father's office, crying in silence while sitting on the chair. The sight made you want to cry for him and pull him in a hug.

You wanted to. You terribly wanted to hug him and show him that you love him. But you didn't, you just left and pretended nothing happened, just like he did when he came back to you and smiled as he asked you what you wanted for dinner. The guilt made you unable to eat and sleep that day, feeling horribly bad for leaving him in such a state. How could I let him cry, all alone? You asked yourself, while laying in bed, looking up at the ceiling. I love him, right? Then why did I leave him like this? I'm such a coward.

A coward. Yeah. That's what you think you are. You're a coward. And you don't deserve to love, or to be loved. You betrayed the ones who trusted you. You left them. You ran away, instead of trying to do anything to save them. They were your family. Your blood. And you left them because you were scared. Because you were a fucking coward. You still are. Now, you're hurting the man you deeply love and care for. You don't deserve him. You can worry, but won't ever do anything. You can't. You're not allowed. He is a work of art, who deserves to be touched by clean, gentle hands. You do not have gentle clean and gentle hands.

But, seems like Alucard doesn't agree with you.

You were in the Belmont library, reading one of the many books while sitting on the desk table. Well, you pretended to do it. Actually, you were again distancing yourself from the man you crave for. Crazy, huh? Who would want to distance themself from a man like Alucard? From Alucard himself? Well, you would. And you did. But Alucard found you. Of course he did. If you’re not at the castle, you're surely at the Belmont's huge library.

He standed in front of you, then slowly took the book away from you. You look at him with confusion.

"What?" You ask, trying to sound bitter, but failing. He looks at you, his golden eyes staring into yours. "Have you been avoiding me?" He asks you, his voice sounding a little disappointed. His question surprises you so much you start nervously laughing.

"W-Wha— Why would I do such a thing!" You almost yell, trying to ease the situation. "I... I haven't. Really. You... You're imagining things."

"Am I...?" He asks, his voice a whisper like a caresss, his hand taking hold of your cheek. The contact makes you hot, hot already. You can't believe you got hot like this over feeling his hand on your cheek. Alucard softly sighs, his lips dangerously close to yours. "I do imagine a lot of things. Especially at night."

A shiver runs across your full body. You're staring at his lips. His body is so close to you.

"I dream of you. Of us. We do things that would make God blush." He confesses, his hands wrapping around your neck. Shit, is it just you or it's fucking hot in here? "When I wake up, I'm a mess. I'm tired of thinking I'm the only one who craves your touch. Please, [Name], tell me you feel the same. Tell me I'm also in your deeams."

You do better than telling him.

Your lips crash agaisnt his, pulling him in a kiss as you let your hands wrap around his waist, pulling him closer. Alucard sighs in relief, his hands holding you tight around him as he kisses you back. The kiss is deep, passionate. It shows how you two have been craving for each other but never made the first move. You bite on Alucard's lower lip, earning a soft gasp from him, pushing your tongue into his mouth. You lift yourself from the desk table, making him sit on the desk now, switching your positions. He lets you do so, his hands not leaving you. His legs wrap around your waist, pulling you even more closer if that's even possible.

You don't miss the adorable whine he leaves when you pull away, staring at his face with a smile. He was sweating, panting heavily, some or his blonde hair sticking to his forehead. God, he really is a work of art. You can't help yourself.

"Can I touch you?" You refrain a teasing giggle when you see him fastly nod his head, blushing. "Please." He pleads you, in a soft, adorable whine. You kiss his forehead, hands gently discarding his clothes. Once he is in his boxers and his white shirt only, you start moving your hips agaisnt his, feeling his cock agaisnt your sex. The sensation makes you bite your lower lip, and Alucard leaves a loud gasp, holding tight onto your shoulders.

You continue doing this, torturing this poor vampire. He keeps moaning your name and holding into you. You kiss his neck now, grinding a little more. You don't miss the moan that escapes Alucard's mouth and the face he is making. "Please." He pants, his hands going from your shoulders to your face. "Please, [Name]. Please." You giggle, slowing as you whisper to his ear.

"What is it, precious?" You ask, making him leave another pant as he tries to collect his thoughts. "Please. Touch me." His pleading is so adorable it's addicting. You want to hear him beg more. "But I am touching you." You tease, giving another low roll of your hips. Alucard cries out.

"[Name], please!" He yelps, trying to move his hips himself to have more friction, but you stop him, grabbing his hips firmly. "No, no." You stop him, trying to ignore how hot the sob he left when you stopped him sounded. You try to calm him down by kissing his lips, the contact making him leave a moan. You can feel how he desperately needs you. You sigh, pulling away as you smile at him.

"I'm here."

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ellastone-olsen · 1 year ago

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Fucked my way up to the top - Wanda Maximoff

DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY WORKS. MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

Summary: You just got your first job in your life and suspiciously quickly became an assistant to the director of the company. Where's the catch?

Pairing: ceo!Wanda Maximoff × f!reader

Warnings: NSFW, dom!Wanda, sub!reader, age gap (W34 R21), mommy kink, strap on usage (W), blow job (R), pet names

DISCLAIMER: ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE SORRY FOR GRAMMAR OR SPELLING MISTAKES

Word count: 1.2k

AN: inspired by lana del rey i really love that song

You just graduated from a college you didn't even want to go to. Wrong college, wrong specialty, but as a result, very much the right job. After one day you began to believe in fate and that this entire chain of events in your life was a blessing from above. After all if it weren’t for the strong nature of your parents who sent you to study, you would never have met Wanda.

At some point, you thought that you would never find a job in your specialty until you saw the ideal vacancy: the salary, the location of the office, the schedule, the educational requirements, everything suited you. There definitely had to be a catch somewhere. And it definitely was.

“No, put it in its place, I don’t need these papers and coffee right now. I have a meeting Y/N, why answer me i need coffee? Just think for once with your pretty little head.” That catch was your boss, Wanda Maximoff. That's what you thought at first.

You trotted behind her on the way to the conference room; in general, the very fact that the director of the company took you on as her personal assistant was already a great success. Some worked in one place for years and remained as an office clerk. And then Wanda Maximoff took you to bring her coffee, not the hardest job, especially for the money that you were paid.

When you entered the room, the hall was empty. One characteristic feature of your boss was excessive punctuality, you realized this in your first week of work. You took your place at the head of the table next to her when you felt manicured hands rest on your shoulders, stroking them. That was the second thing about Wanda Maximoff, she loved to touch you, a lot. Sometimes she would tuck a stray strand behind your ear, sometimes she would stroke your thigh; in general, such touches from her were nothing new. If you said you didn't enjoy it, you'd be lying. Wet dreams with her began to visit you in the third week of work.

And now, from her touch, you could feel your core throbbing. To your great regret, at that moment the conference room began to fill with people. As important and powerful as Wanda. To be honest, you didn’t understand that such a small employee like you was even doing here.

The meeting lasted about an hour and during this time you could feel with your whole being how tense your boss was. Everything was definitely not going the way she wanted; one of the men opposite was already starting to scream, unable to prove that he was right. The deal was on the verge of failure. “Okay gentlemen, I think that’s enough for today. We’ll continue tomorrow.” Wanda could not stand it and marked the end of this meeting.

When the hall was empty, the woman sat down in a chair with her legs spread, a sigh escaped her lips and one hand again lay on your thigh, squeezing it. "Fucking bastards." She muttered and your gaze caught the older woman's pants. She wore an expensive formal suit with a bulge imprinted on the trousers. Your eyes widened, your breath caught in your throat as you wondered what her purpose was..."See something you like?" You jumped at the question, scared that you had been caught. One of Wanda's hands strokes your thigh, moving up closer to your already dripping pussy while the other massages her fake cock through the fabric of her pants. You look at her expressionless face and nod in response to the question.

"On your knees". The chair moves back with a creak, giving you space. You stand in front of her to look into her eyes, darkened with lust, for a second and fall to your knees. Hands immediately reach for her trousers, sorting out the belt and pulling them off along with her underwear. A red strap jumps out in front of your face and you start to get nervous about the size. “I don’t think it will fit..”. You are interrupted by a grip in your hair. "Don't worry baby girl I'll make it fit now suck my cock."

She guides your head towards her length and you curl your tongue around the tip as if she can feel it. You raise your eyes and look at her, and then shut your mouth on her dick, feeling tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. Her palm cups your cheek and her thumb wipes away drops of moisture, “Oh my sweet girl wants to please her mommy so bad.” She helps you by guiding your head up and down her length, your panties are hopelessly ruined and you squirm, looking for some kind of relief. Wanda lifts her hips so that your nose touches her stomach and holds you like that for a few seconds. When your boss lets you go, your makeup is hopelessly ruined and you gasp for air.

"Such a good sweet girl. Do you want mommy to put her dick inside you? Do you want me to stretch you out and fuck you until you forget your name?" You are still kneeling in front of her and a pathetic whine comes out of your mouth, “Please mommy I really need you to fuck me.” Wanda likes your answer and growls, she pulls you to your feet and then bends you over the large office desk. Your cheek is pressed against the cold surface, the older woman has already hiked up your skirt to your waist and is stroking your throbbing pussy through the fabric of your cotton panties.“My, my, you’re already absolutely wet and I haven’t touched you yet. Do you like sucking mommy’s cock so much? Maybe next time should I fuck this beautiful, capable mouth mmm?" A sharp slap on your ass makes you gasp. "Yes yes please I will like it so much.”

Your underwear falls to your ankles and the tip of her cock teases your throbbing clit and then runs through the folds, collecting your arousal. Without warning, she fills you to the edge and started to pound at a slower pace than you would like. You gasp from the stretch "Mommy it's too big. Feel so full." Her pace increases, her hand finds your swollen clit and rubs it making you cry. "That's my good girl. Taking me so well. Come on baby mommy needs to de-stress after these bastards." Wanda leans over you and bites your neck as she continues to pound into you at a faster pace, your velvet walls starting to clench around her length. "Oh fuck Ms. Maximoff I'm close I gonna cum." Wanda’s cock hits that nice spot inside you so deliciously, pushing you inexorably to the edge. "Come on baby, cum for me. Show mommy how good she fucks you." Her fingers rub your sensitive bud faster and you see stars cumming all over her cock, crying out inaudible curses into the silence of the office. She continues to move, prolonging your orgasm until your breathing evens out.

She pulls out her faux cock and then a pair of strong arms turns you around so you're face to face so she can press her lips to yours in a leisurely kiss. Wanda walks back to sit back in her chair, holding you by the waist, pulling you behind her so that you sit on her lap. “I was not mistaken in choosing you as my assistant.”

#SoundCloud #wanda fanfic #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff #wanda marvel #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wanda maximoff smut #scarlet witch

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presleyluvschris · 1 year ago

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Join The Dream

alive!luke patterson x girlbestfriend!reader

a/n: not requested, back after 4 months!

desc luke didnt know you could sing after years of being your best friend

wc - 1.8k

warnings slight cursing, fluff, grammar, not proof read

the door krept open as you got home from school, tossing your grey messy laced converse off of your ankles and sludging your backpack off one of your shoulders and onto the floor.

it was 4:09 pm, you had nothing to do besides an english paper. but that could be done later.

you walk across the kitchen to sit on top of the counter, your nike women's dry-fit socks dangling as you thought about something, anything to do.

reggie and alex were out making flyers for their upcoming band gig on friday, while your best friend luke was probably somewhere in your guest house messing with your dads old music equipment and speakers you had gotten out of some dusty boxes for him a few weeks ago.

what was there to do?

you make a raspberry with your lips.

laundry...done. homework..ish, done. rooms clean...dad didn't get home until 10...

you stare at your mom's piano in the crevice of a large indent in a wall as you hear the air conditioner buzz softly.

the house was dead silent. no one was home.

for some reason, your hands begin to shake and your throat closes up staring at the white keys and grand black figure just sitting feet away, almost feeling like an old friend waiting for you to come back to it again.

after years.

this was the longest you had ever beared to look at it before.

the blank truth was you had completely disregarded the thought of ever playing any musical instrument ever again after your mom had died of cancer four years ago.

especially the piano. especially singing.

it was all the things you and your mom had cherished with each other. everytime you tried to even look at it. all that could replay in the back of your mind was your five-year-old self playing and singing along to "i love you baby", with your mother and you giggling with her.

what was so wrong about it? that you couldn't have that same feeling anymore? you didn't know.

it just hurt. all of it did.

over the years you had become slightly jealous of luke, reggie, and alex for being able to enjoy music like it was a second nature. maybe thats because it used to be yours, too, and your love for music had been taken away. and you felt like you could never get it back.

luke never knew about your passion for music. neither did alex, or reggie. sure, luke had watched you play with your mom as a kid but he never knew that you had the same thriving passion of music that made you feel alive like he did also.

everytime he tried to get you to sing along to one of the songs he had wrote with reggie you just shrugged it off, letting them sing.

because when your mom died, music died too.

in fact, luke had never heard you sing before. not even in the car, the shower, nothing.

but would this be what your mother had wanted? never even singing on the radio just because of memories?

if you were honest, you hadn't been the same person when you gave up music. If you were even more honest, you felt a hole without it.

you decided to get off the counter and slowly creep over to just....look.

not play, of course, no.

just...looking.

just...sitting down at your mom's favorite stool..

just..looking at the keys..

just..feeling them..

breathing...

you flinch when you accidentally hit a note with your finger.

your heart immediately starts pumping and you feel your stomach sink.

technically, you did just...play.

so, technically, accidentally, you could just play another...

on purpose, this time, you press a note, taking in the sound of a piano again like it was something completely new.

again, maybe? just once.

you start to play a few chords, trying to dig back in your brain four years.

you remember of a song called "forever", written by you. when you were 14. a month before your mom passed.

after playing the chords a few times, it comes flooding back to you like a sudden tidal wave.

you start playing them in order, now, and start singing your lyrics.

tears fall down your cheeks and onto the keys as you play the whole song through, singing the chorus, the verse..

you lean back slightly, holding your hands to your chest with a sniffle.

you wipe your eyes, but then jump at the sudden touch of a hand on your shoulder.

you whip your head around, quickly backing away from the stool.

"what the hell!" you gasp, but then realize who it was.

it was luke standing in front of you, now. his expression completely shocked.

it was silent, the only sounds was you trying to catch your breath.

his mouth was practically on the floor.

"y/n l/n."

you swallow, "yeah."

"what the fu-"

you cut him off, and play dumb, "what? i was just-"

you turn your head slightly to look at the piano behind you and then back to him.

"i was just like, messing around, i dunno, it was like- something i came up with..like..uhm..."

"i-i have so many questions." he scoffs, "first, okay? why in the honey bunches of fuck did you never tell me you could...you could..sing like that?"

you take a breath to answer, but he keeps going.

"two." he puts his hands to the back of his head, "since when could you play the piano? what song was that? was it yours? your moms? is this why you've never sang before? why-"

"luke, it-its complicated. i-" you take a breath out and shake your head, "i wrote it when i was 14. secretly. kind of before my mom died."

"why didn't you tell me you could write music?" he almost sounds offended.

"i dont know-- at the time you hadn't even started your band with reggie and alex yet, and that was like..your thing, and i just couldn't handle doing music again!" tears filled the bottom of your eyes as you tried to explain.

he steps towards you, wrapping his strong arms around you, caressing the back of your head as he holds it so his chest, stroking it with his thumb gently.

"shhh, sh. you don't have to explain anymore." his voice is gentle and warm. "i get it. but, music isn't something i own, okay? i wish you would have told me earlier, and i dont know how i didnt notice this before."

a sob accidentally escapes into his chest, and luke feels his heart slowly sink into the floor. he was a tough guy, but he would always let his guard down for you.

he rubs your back in comforting circles, "its okay, yeah? this is a good thing. its a great thing."

he tucks your hair behind your ear, looking down at you as you look up at him with swollen eyes and a slightly runny nose, luke speaking to you in a low and comforting voice. "you are so beyond talented. You know what im thinking?"

you shake your head softly, with a small sniffle.

"you need to be our singer for the band." he looks at you and titls his head like he already knows what you're going to say. "n' before you say no, think about it. you could do it in honor of your mom? y/n, look at you. you have crazy chemistry with a song you haven't even tried playing in years. you could play your keyboard? its waiting for you in the guest house. It would be practically wasting this amazing gift you have. and i cant let you do that. you know it, too."

"luke-" you almost whimper from the thought of playing music...all of the time. not just when you had sudden courage, like..all the time.

"please." he begs, "you dont have to decide or anything right now...just..think about it?" he looks down at you with those same eyes. "for me?" he bites his lower lip with a small smile.

"fine." you barely say. he almost jumps from excitement and hisses in victory before putting his hands on your shoulders and looks at you in the eyes. "you wont regret it."

"luke, what if-" you stop. "what if i fail? like, im not as good as i used to be? i havent even tried writing songs again-"

"from what i heard today? the like, one minute of you just...singing, and playing, was-- like, crazy good and thats more than what regs and alex and i could ever even dream of." he smiles, his dimples peaking out like a deer in headlights, "it would be totally awesome if you could join our band. Like an honor."

as you look at him speak you bite your lips nervously, and let out a shaky "okay."

he towers over you, taking a step closer and looking in both of your eyes, you could feel his warm breath dripping down your neck.

there was a silence as you look into both of his eyes back, smiling back slightly

"there's that smile."

he leans in slightly, you breathing out, and then looking down as your tone becomes quieter.

"we shouldn't do this." you whisper.

he makes you look at him by putting his finger under your chin.

"we definitely shouldn't do this." he breathes, trying not to smile.

"definitely." you say, him matching your expression.

"definitely." his breath catches in the air.

your lips meet his as he gently backs you into a wall, picking your legs up and holding them with his palms up like a feather.

you feel his warm lips lock against yours over and over.

"y/n," he takes a breath out, finally pulling away making a small click sound from your lips seperating.

"yeah?" you gasp for air.

"i love you." he chokes on his words, "i know its soon. i know. you dont have to say it back." he swallows. "i just thought you should know. n' like - its totally cool if-"

"i love you too, luke."

his eyes meet yours again, this time his eyebrows slightly furrowed, "for real?" a smile quickly creeps up on his face.

you gently nod your head as he kisses your lips again once more.

"i-i dont know its like- when i saw you playing, and- it was just-" he pauses, laughing and shaking his head.

"you're so talented. so real. like, down to it, real."

he looks at you with his soft eyes, kissing your forehead.

"your hole's filled now, y/n."

your eyes widen in surpise, "how did you--"

he rolls his eyes and tuts, "cm'on, seriously? i know you better than you know you."

a little smile appears on your face. it really was him all along. he knew after you played again you got the spark in your eyes back that you had when you met him and you were now the same girl he fell in love with all over again since he was ten.

he runs his thumb over your jaw. "that spark, right here?" he puts his hand off your chin and presses a fist gently to your rib. "right there."

"you're back."

you giggle softly, "im back."

divider creds to @benkeibear my nav ★

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