#writing hooray

[doctorsiren]

give this angle another tri

[marlynnofmany]

The Little Things

“It’s the unexpected stuff that gets me,” I said, swirling my drink. “Like, I’ll expect alien food on the alien spaceship, but the first time I heard offworld music, I thought the engine was about to fail.”

“Oh, I know, right?” agreed the other human, waving her own drink around. She hadn’t spilled it on the spaceport floor yet, but her ship had heavier gravity than this, and she was still adjusting. “And have you smelled what passes for perfume among the Mesmers? It’s like someone cut an onion and rubbed it in hot peppers.”

“Wow, I haven’t come across that yet,” I said with a glance back toward the spacedocks. “We’ve got two Mesmers onboard. Maybe they haven’t felt like getting fancy.” I tried to picture either of my exoskeletoned crewmates preparing for a high-class event, and my brain shorted out. Neither of them seemed the type. Zhee would stand by the punchbowl and complain about everything, while Trrili would hide behind curtains and jump out to startle people. Probably.

“It might be a courtship perfume,” the other human was saying. “Either that or it’s really expensive. I swear, if our navigator wore that on a regular basis, I’d have to invest in one of those high-quality personal air filters. It was bad.”

“Enough to make you miss the people who overdid the perfume back home?” I asked.

She set her drink down and leaned forward. “Enough to make me miss the body odor back home. And I don’t say that lightly!”

“I’ll bet!” I said with a toast of my own drink. It was cherry soda in a champagne glass. The Frillians running this restaurant were so proud of their Earth foods, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them that was anything other than a perfectly normal combination. And the fried-chicken-on-French-toast was actually good.

“It has been a while since I was home, though,” she said, picking at the remains of her macaroni and peas. “Earlier I saw somebody wearing a scarf like my mom’s, and now I keep thinking of all the things I miss. The tree outside my bedroom window, the cat purring, the sound of rain over an old TV show.”

I had a mild epiphany. “Well,” I said, finishing my drink. “I can’t help with all of that, but if you want to make a quick visit to my ship…” I leaned with a conspiratorial grin and whispered, “I’ve got kittens.”

Her gasp made people at three different tables look at us. “Oh my god, yes! Here, I’ll pay for your food. Where did you get kittens??”

“It’s a long story,” I said as she tapped at the payment interface. “I’ll tell you while they’re busy trying to fight your shoes.”

With a happy squeal that caused more than one wince from the aliens nearby, she swept our dishes into the recycler, then we were off to the spacedocks.

~~~

The ongoing backstory of the main character from this book. More to come!

[coffeeghoulie]

date night

a gift for @askingforthesun <3

The first time Aether has Swiss and Dew over to his apartment is the first time Swiss meets Lady. Both of them are nervous messes.

Takes place in the hockey au, but you don't have to have read that to read this; Swiss, Aether, and Dew are teammates on the Ghouls, and have just fallen into a relationship with each other. Takes place not long after Five Minutes for Fighting. 2.6k of fluff.

divider by @ghuleh-recs <3

Aether's nervous. He doesn't know why. It's them.

He steps up to Swiss and Dew as they're changing out of their practice jerseys and stripping out of their gear, the locker room filled with chatter from their other teammates.

Swiss sees him first, flashing him with that bright, warm grin. "Hey, Cap. What's up?"

Dew turns, unweaving the braid Aether had put in his hair a few hours ago. Aether feels his heart swell, swallowing back his nerves. His palms sweat like a fifteen year old boy asking his crush to prom. He's never felt like this in his life.

"Would the two of you like to have dinner tonight?" Aether keeps his voice as level as he can. "There's a Vietnamese place near mine that I think you'd like, get some carry out and watch a movie or something?"

They've been dating for a while, but they've never actually been to his apartment before. Even Dew, who used to live with him before they were called up to the major leagues, hasn't been. They've been going out to eat, sneaking into each other's hotel rooms while they're out on away games, but nothing as domestic as coming over yet.

Swiss seems to read past the facade, something warm in his brown eyes. He reaches for Aether's forearm, fingers just barely brushing over the sleeve of his button up. "I can't speak for Dewey, but I'd love to."

Aether's posture relaxes the moment Swiss touches him. He nods, his lips crooking up in a smile as he turns to Dew.

“Aether,” Dew grins, toothy and something bright in his eyes. "I will never say no to an opportunity to see my little girl."

Aether laughs, any last remnants of nerves crumbling to dust. Swiss's brow furrows, looking from Aether to Dew and back again.

"Oh, he means my cat," Aether laughs, rolling his eyes fondly at Dew. "Oh, you've never met Lady, that's right."

Swiss's expression relaxes, and he turns to throw a wad of tape into the trash can. "I've never really been a cat guy," he says, voice a little cautious. "But I'm sure she's nice. I mean, the two of you like her."

"Oh, she's the best," Dew says, zipping up his bag and standing from the bench. He turns to Aether. "She still play fetch with hair ties?"

Aether huffs a soft laugh. "Don't have any hair ties in the apartment anymore unless my sister's visiting. She loves that cat, but she's a little less fond of fetch."

"Little buzzkill," Dew says, knocking his shoulder against Aether's. "Anyways. I'm pretty certain you told me where you were when you moved out here. Let us run our bags home and we can meet you there?"

Dew glances to Swiss and back to Aether, the locker room emptying rapidly around them. Swiss nods, putting his helmet back in its bag. "That sounds great to me. Aeth?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Aether meets them there, the nerves returning. He hides the tremble in his hands by shoving them into his pockets. Swiss grins easy as he steps up to him, glancing around before kissing his cheek. Dew's changed into a leather jacket over a worn out band tee and tight black skinny jeans, Swiss into a cream button up and dark slacks, hands in his pockets.

Swiss waves, and the two of them follow Aether into the apartment building. They don't need words, Aether thinks. This is a normal thing that partners do. He takes them up the elevator and down the hall to his door.

The keys rattle as Aether turns them in the knob. He knows they're right behind him, almost hovering. He doesn't know why he's nervous. He loves both of them, trusts both of them, for fuck's sake, he's lived with Dew before.

He takes a sharp breath in as he opens the door and steps in. The first thing Aether hears is a quiet "mrrp" and a thud, and he smiles as Lady skids around the corner, having woken up from her nap on the couch. Her claws tap on the vinyl, tail curled forward in a relaxed arc.

Dew gasps in delight at the sight of her, but Aether doesn't turn. "Hi, sweetheart," Aether coos, and she meows brightly as she weaves through his legs, rubbing herself against his pant legs with her amber eyes squeezed shut. He'll lament cleaning red cat hair from his pants later, but he's used to the woes of cat ownership after so long. Lady purrs happily, blinking.

It's then she seems to notice the two men Aether's brought home with him. Her ears and whiskers flick forward, tail flicking at the tip.

Aether turns, eyes flicking from Lady to his partners, watching all three of them carefully. Dew grins, almost as toothy as Swiss's, and he drops to a crouch.

Lady chirps and rubs her cheek against Dew's outstretched hand. "Aw, she remembers me," he says, scooping up all nine pounds of cat into his arms easily. Lady purrs loudly, rubbing her chin against Dew's jaw as he stands back up.

Swiss watches, and Aether can almost see the slight apprehension past the facade of his smile. It's the one he uses for the press circuits after bad games, where he's exhausted and just wants it to be over with. "You good?" Aether asks softly, hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, yeah," Swiss says, leaning his head towards him. "Grew up with two Dobermans. Blitz and Bubbles. Was never really around any cats. Nothing against Lady, she's such a pretty girl."

Aether beams. "Yeah, she's a gorgeous little thing. You should have seen her when she was little. She really grew into those ears."

Swiss snorts, glancing over as Dew coos over Lady. "She warms up real quick to strangers, huh?"

Aether makes a face, and Swiss isn't quite sure what to make of it. "Not normally. She, uh, Lady knows Dew already. I got her two months before Dew got called up to play for the Ghouls."

Swiss snaps his fingers before pointing at him. "That's right, he did say something about the two of you living together."

"I did," Dew looks up from where he's buried his face in fur. "We should probably get out of the entranceway," he says, sputtering as Lady shoves the top of her head against his chin and he gets a mouthful of cat hair for it. The three of them laugh, and Aether rubs the back of his neck.

"Yeah, living room's this way," he says, leading them around the corner Lady appeared from into his living room.

There's a black L-shaped couch tucked into the corner, a large window looking out over the city, an ottoman that doesn't quite match on a rug. The opposite wall has a decent sized tv mounted over the mantle, various knick knacks and trinkets set underneath. A framed family picture sits on an end table by the couch, and Swiss sees faces that look vaguely familiar behind the glare of the glass, but he's too busy watching Dew coo over Lady to really worry about that.

He's in someone else's home. Even though Aether was the last to join the three of them, Aether and Dew have known each other longer. He stands at the threshold of the living room, watching.

Aether sees him floundering and reaches for him. "You want to say hello to her?" He asks, voice as gentle as it ever is, and it feels good as it brushes over Swiss's fraying nerves.

"Yeah," he breathes, meeting Dew's eye as he steps towards him and his armful of purring cat. He puts her down onto the armrest of the couch, and she meows up at him in betrayal.

Dew laughs softly at her. He leans in to Swiss conspiratorially, a mischievous look in his eye. "She likes scratches under her chin," he says, like he's disclosing state secrets. Swiss smiles, easy and genuine, knocking his shoulder against his.

"Let her sniff," Aether says, holding out his hand in example, fingers curled gently into a fist. "Just like a dog."

Swiss nods, mimicking the way Aether holds his hand. He offers Lady his fist, feeling hot little puffs of breath as she smells him, her whiskers held forward curiously. Swiss realizes he's holding his breath.

After a moment, she must deem him acceptable, shoving her head forward to rub against his knuckles. "Aww," Dew coos, stepping around them to find the Vietnamese place's takeout menu on the end table. "Little princess likes you."

Swiss watches enraptured as Lady starts to purr while she rubs against him. He flips his hand slowly, scratching blunt nails into the soft white fur under her chin. Her purring grows exponentially louder.

Aether grins as Dew leans into his side, a play pout on his face. "Aeth," he whines, batting lashes up at him. "Could we please get an order of bánh cam with dinner?"

He rolls his eyes, but he's smiling, and Swiss feels how warm it is even from the slight distance. "Fine, we can get bánh cam. Also, you don't need that, you've been eating there for long enough I know your order."

Dew sighs dramatically, offering the menu to Swiss, but he's too busy petting Lady. She's purring far loudly than he'd imagined a little cat could. He turns, a boyish smile on his face. "I, uh, I trust your judgment, I'm happy to try anything, really."

"Alright, so how does splitting an order pho and spring rolls sound?" Aether offers, pulling his wallet out of his pocket. "Dew's getting an extra spicy salmon bánh mì, as he does every time he eats here. So adventurous."

"So what?" Dew teases, knocking his shoulder into Aether's. "I know what I like. Nothing wrong with that."

Swiss laughs, moving to sit down on the couch. He runs his fingers through the long russet fur, darker along the line of Lady's spine. He's only half paying attention. "Yeah, Aeth, that sounds great."

He doesn't see it, so entranced with Lady, but Aether and Dew share a look over his head. "Alright," Aether says, setting his hand on Swiss's shoulder for just a moment. "Dew, I think I'll need two pairs of hands to bring everything back, you want to come with?"

"Oh, I'd love to." Dew perks up, and Swiss looks up with a glint of worry in his eyes.

Aether, perceptive as he always is, catches it, his grip on Swiss's shoulder tightening for just a moment. "I was going to ask if you wanted to pick a movie while went and picked up dinner. Remote's on the end table, bathroom's right down the hall."

"Oh," Swiss says, feeling something odd in his chest at the implications. Of being trusted with this place, with Lady, someone that's so dearly important to the two of them. "I- I will. Thank you."

Aether's brow furrows, and Dew pauses from where he's zipping up his jacket. He feels pinned to the couch by their gazes. "For what?" Aether asks softly.

Swiss swallows. His hand stills on Lady's back, and she meows, upset he's stopped petting her. "For, uh, man this is stupid, for letting me into all of this. After everything," he says, taking a second to remember all of the scrapes him and Dew had gotten into, the one where Aether had thrown him to the ice to protect his teammate.

He's been part of the Ghouls now for months. Been seeing Dew outside of the hookups for just as long. But this is still new, wobbly legged and fresh. One wrong move and-

There's a hand in his hair, just as tender as the one he'd been petting Lady with. Swiss looks up, shoulders slumping as he sees Aether looking down at him fondly. "We both love you, Swiss," Aether says. "And that besides, you are a dear and trusted teammate."

"And," Dew cuts in. "You and I both knew what we were getting into back then. Except for that one little misunderstanding, but we got that all cleared up. Aeth said it, we love you."

Swiss smiles, leaning into Aether's hand. Takes a deep breath. Continues to pet Lady, who arcs up into his touch. "Love you too. Thank you. I'll- uh, I'll find something to watch while we eat."

"It should be around twenty minutes. Miss princess will keep you company," Aether leans down and kisses his cheek. He beams up at him as Aether and Dew step towards the front door. Lady chirps, hopping down to try and follow them. "No, Lady-baby, you can't come with. Hang out with Swiss."

"See you in a bit," Swiss says, settling into the couch cushion.

"See you in a bit," Dew echoes, and they're both off to get dinner. Swiss swallows as the door latches, suddenly alone.

Lady waits at the door, meowing forlornly for several moments before padding back into the living room. Her tail, fluffy and soft, flicks back and forth as she trots back to the couch.

"Hey, pretty lady," Swiss coos. She meows, rubbing against his legs. He leans down to pet her, and she runs her tail through his fingers, before doubling back to rub her face against his hand.

"Oh, you're such a sweet girl," he hums, only startling a little bit when she hops up onto the couch next to him. "Oh, hi."

She's purring up a storm, much louder than he'd imagined a cat could. Lady stares up at him, pupils wide, leaving her irises a thin ring of amber. "They'll be back," he says, looking back at her. "They're getting dinner."

She meows, sharp and loud, before stepping up onto Swiss's thigh. He lets out a little 'oof' as she climbs up into his lap. For such a little cat, all of her weight on four concentrated little points is still a little more than he was expecting. She meows again, stretching up to butt the top of her head against his chin.

"Hi," he laughs, scratching under her chin. She purrs happily before turning in a circle and laying down right in Swiss's lap.

His eyes go wide, a soft little gasp escaping him. "Oh, Lady," he whispers, staring down in his lap in disbelief as she makes herself comfortable. She purrs even louder.

Swiss can't move. Can't lean over to grab the remote, because what if she moves? What if he jostles her and she darts off and hides and he never sees her again? He knows he said that he'd pick something to watch, but they can't blame him, can they?

He stares down at her, hand under her chest as she purrs, eyes shut and tail tucked around her body, a tiny red ball of cat. He stares and stares and stares until he hears keys turn in the apartment door.

The smell of savory and spicy food fills the air as Aether and Dew step back into the apartment, each carrying a big brown paper bag. "You pick something ou-" Aether starts to ask, cutting himself off as he takes in the position Swiss is in. He sets down his bag of food on the counter and walks over to the couch. "Oh, we're never getting rid of you."

"Hmm?" Swiss says, soft, still trying not to disturb the cat in his lap.

"She really likes you," Dew says, pulling a small baguette wrapped in wax paper out of the paper bag he'd carried. "Lady's real skittish with new people. She's known you for what, an hour at best? You can't leave now. Ever."

Swiss looks up at Aether, glancing over to Dew. He beams. "You'd have to make me."

[sheawritesstuff]

Today is my birthday so,,

Redacted Birthday Headcanons

✩ Sam has never had an actual birthday party and he intends to keep it that way - very few people even know when his birthday is. He prefers spending the day with Darlin and maybe going to dinner with Vincent rather than doing anything big.

✩ Asher has a shirt that literally just says “This Is My Birthday Shirt” that he wears on his birthday every year without fail.

✩ Aaron doesn't like birthday cake so he's gotten a cheesecake every year since he was about 15. Elliott used to make it for him, then he would just buy his own, and now Smartass makes them.

✩ Geordi likes baking and decorating his own cakes so it can be exactly how he wants. Cutie tried to help once, but he got overwhelmed and took over halfway through.

✩ Elliott always cries on his birthday. He doesn't even know why most of the time, it just happens.

✩ Ollie has a movie marathon with his friends to celebrate. They use it as an excuse to eat as much junk food as they want and ruin their sleep schedules - it's been a tradition since college.

✩ David has a small gathering with Asher, Milo, and all of their mates. Angel tries to make it a surprise party, but they always end up spilling the details. Davey pretends to be surprised anyway, just to appease them.

✩ Marie insists on making Milo's favorite dinner and sends him home with enough leftovers to last the rest of the week. He acts annoyed but really appreciates how much she does for him.

✩ Damien would rather treat his birthday like every other day of the year, but the D.A.M.N. crew always gets together to do something for him. Huxley lets him backseat plan to take away some of the stress of the whole ordeal.

✩ Huxley's moms send his presents a week early then video call him on the actual day to make sure he got it and to watch him open them. They also sing to him over the phone.

✩ Even though his coalescence day is technically his birthday, Gavin picked a different day to celebrate based on which zodiac birth chart he likes the most.

✩ Anton tries really hard to call My Love on his birthday. But if he can't, he holds the little plant and just hopes they can feel that he's thinking about them.

✩ Marcus spends his birthday flirting with AI bots on sketchy websites. The more viruses he gets the better.

✩ Lasko usually just buys his own birthday presents because gifts from his family were never just gifts, they were an expectation that something would be given in return. He's still learning to accept gifts without feeling guilty.

✩ Guy tries convincing Honey to give him birthday spanks every year. Sometimes he gets what he asks for, sometimes he settles for birthday kisses.

[opikiquu]

yalldont understand how stressediam for thsu mans bannerhELP me

[ramonag-if]

Crown of Exile Progress

It's official. My inbox is empty and I've done my best to answer the backlog 🥲🙃😬 I'm sorry if you've sent me an ask and I haven't responded to it. Quite a few were asks I have already answered. But now, I'm free 🎉

PS: This isn't to say don't send in more asks, just know that a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

PPS: Chapter 9 should be completed by next week — as in, the entire Chapter 9 will be fully playable.

PPPS: Due to unforseen circumstances, the character portraits will be delayed.

[omaano]

SW Hades AU July Update

Other updates: May - June - July - August

I've made a lot more progress with my Star Wars meets Hades AU project than I'd imagined - and absolutely none in other aspects, so let's see how the past month has been!

I have finished the character illustrations both for Maul

and Omega, (look how cute she is in her pocket sized version! ^^)

and I have also finally rounded out my Din collection, so that I now have 6 variations on his character art (helmet on and off, with Grogu and the darksaber, and with and without Grogu and the beskar spear in hand).

Aphra has lines and flat colours too, as well as the very basic lighting layers on her!

I'm real hyped to start working on her! I'm very proud of the dynamic pose I picked for her, too. I'll likely up the red in her jacket and gloves for a bit of a pop in colour, because all this brown everywhere is growing a little boring tbh. Like with certain other characters...

There has been some progress with Obi-Wan, but it's going suuuper slow, and I continue to preemptively worry about how I should completely redraw him for after his reunion with Cody, too. (Iirc Patroclus is standing with his spear in hand after he's reuinted with Achilles in Hades, and I also very badly want to draw him with his lightsaber ignited, but I feel that wouldn't be very good for him just, you know, hanging out in front of his little house on Tatooine...)

And now I'm going to add my first ever poll for the next month in case anyone wants to weigh in on the order in which I add characters to this project:

I'm making no promises, but I thought this could be fun :)

This post is growing a little long, so I'm putting the rest about Obi-wan's background re-draw, and some musings on picking colours for Omega under the read more ->

There was no room for it in the previous update, but I'd fully redrawn one background finally for Obi-Wan's chilling spot!

It is the same setup as where you can find Patroclus in game, with the walls and the chasm and the doors out, but I added Obi-Wan's hut and a desert envisonment. (I've watched so many videos on how to draw in an isometric grid, because there was always something that just wouldn't work... I'd thought there was a trick to drawing squares and circles in this grid that I just couldn't figure out for the life of me - and it turns out that I was just careless and my grid wasn't tight enough so I had to eyaball distances and the width and length of things too much lol.) And now I'm faced with the difficult task of picking colours and figuring out if the character shading tricks also apply here or not.

For now these colours are more for just to block in certain elements in the background, but I have some more desert/desolate looking backgrounds saved from other Supergiant games (they've got some really vibrant and dark colours, like wow!) as well to hopefully help me out moving forward.

I'd redrawn those bulbs you can find over the door leading out of various chambers in-game, because I might as well go in full re-design mode bit by bit, and after some deliberation and googling I picked the Mandalorian Crusaders symbol as inspiration for it.

And now back to Omega for a bit:

While I was working on the character illustration for Omega and Batcher I became very aware of how weird it is to pick colours for me. (I very heavily rely on preexisting colour palettes; I have multiple saved just for the Hades project like for Rex, Ahsoka, Cobb...) I'd been working on Rex and Cody last (Maul doesn't count because he doesn't have very human colours, so picking reds and purples and browns for him wasn't so shocking tbh), and aside from the armor paint and hair colour they very much share the very same colour palette. That was easy, I'd picked the skintones off Boba and the little portrait icons already, upped the saturation a bit because seeing the base skintone laid down scared me, and off I went.

(Laying down the first layer of flat colours is always super scary because they too often seem too dark and too grey/green, which I know will change after the complete shading is done but it still looks very off putting...)

So. The way the colouring in Hades made sense for me is that it works with pretty desaturated colours, there is a lighter shadow colour that's a bit more desaturated and the hue is shifted cooler but is still pretty cool to the original base colour (so much that I'd often have to turn it darker so that I'd see it laid down if I'm not sitting right), and another darker shadow layer that is a tad more saturated and warmer in tone. And there is also (a possibly slightly cooler shifted) and lighter highlight, and another more saturated colourful highligt (in the skin that is the bright, peachy orange for example). (and the little super bright pops of colour at the very very end. I hate adding them so much, but they are very important!)

But while I could pick the skin tones off of Rex, the problem I'd tumbled into was when it came to shading her hair (it's very important to me that Rex and Omega shared all these colours). Omega has a lot more hair (shocking, I know), and so shading that required a lot more than Rex's simple two-tones, and the "shadow" colour from Rex just didn't work, it was too saturated and warm in a larger quantity. So I tried to find another blond character in Hades, picked some colours off of Theseus... and those didn't work too well either, because those colours looked too pale and washed out compared to how lively her skintone was. There had been a lot of adjusting - I'd colour picked all of Theseus' colours and watched like a hawk where my colour marker moved both in hue and saturation a couple times in every which way and tried to mimic that in comparison to my base colour... and then you already saw how she ended up.

Here is the visual representation of the process:

I do a lot of these swatches.

You can see them there next to Omega with the blues and the gold/metallic detail colours (the latter of which I'd ended up using in her crossbow), and up above with the Obi-Wan wip as well (I needed to pick a lot of colours from Chaos and Aphrodite to figure out how to go about his pale skin), but I also worked like this with Din and Achilles in the beginning, as well as trying to pick the greens for Boba's armor. Usually the first and biggest hurdle I run into is choosing my base colours... that's something I really need to work on; but after that this method really helped me feel a lot more comfortable with cell shading.

I hope it made sense to you, and it was at least a tad bit entertaining (or if I'd ruined the word "colour" for you for a while, I'm sorry XD, I know I'd used it a lot). This was really the first time I'd truly seen how I changed around the colours I worked with in a piece, and also tried to go a bit more consciously about shifting them around here (that's why I have all the screenshots XD) and thought I might as well share them here in this monthly update.

I've also switched over to using CSP and a display tablet, in the hopes that I can familiarize myself with them without the pressure of needing some fancy or very specific brushwork and work process. No texture, little need for pressure sensitivity - I hope to slowly pspsps my brain into accepting working with these, and build up some success and good experiences before I try sketching and drawing on it and maybe trying out some new unfamiliar brushes as well ^^;

[emilyjunk]

Ship: Cady/Regina (Mean Girls) Rating: M Words: ~88,500; 5/5 chapters Summary:

"It's all so stupid, because she knows Cady came to visit her after the accident and walked away. She saw all the flowers her mom lugged up to her room. She saw the texts from all of them over the summer — even fucking Janis. But the fact of the matter is that they all hated her, including Gretchen and Karen, until the moment they thought she died. Then she spent the whole summer recovering in various doctor’s offices, including but not limited to Neuro, Ortho, Chiro, PT, and her therapist, who out of all of them, probably kicked her ass the most, and now she's supposed to just return to high school with everything all different. With her all different – this fragile, ugly, vulnerable shell of Regina George." Post-canon, senior year. Things are different. Regina is dealing. Or is she? Lol.

Prequel to grad school universe

For @erikahenningsen @shawtyidontmind and @gohandinhand

[zukkaoru]

risk it all ('cause i'll catch you if you fall)

Three times, Kunikida finds himself infatuated with people he should not want. Three times, he trips over the edge into the freefall people call romance. Three times, he is tugged beneath the waves and all he can do is hold his breath as he desperately tries clawing his way back to the surface. Three times, Kunikida breaks his own rules for falling in love.

on kunikida doppo, disrupted schedules, and falling in love

📗 8k words || kunichuuranzai, kunikida-centric 📗 written for / because of lena @littencloud9

[skyward-floored]

Maybe a snippet about wars and Sky and baby twilight?

“Come on Twilight! Come on!”

“You can do it!”

“Just once buddy!”

The baby stared between Warriors and Sky, tilting his head as the two smiled at him. He blinked, and Warriors and Sky held their breath as his expression screwed up.

Then he let out a huge sneeze, one that nearly knocked him over.

“Well, I guess he doesn’t want to right now,” Sky said with a frown, and Warriors sighed, leaning back on his knees.

“I’m starting to think Time is lying about the turning into a wolf thing,” Warriors huffed, and Twilight giggled as Sky pulled him into his lap and wiped off his nose. “How could neither of us have ever seen him do it?”

“Maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable enough around us?” Sky said, letting Twilight mess with some of his feathers.

“That’s ridiculous. We were there when he was born, how could he not be comfortable around us?”

Sky shrugged, and Warriors flicked some snowflakes up into the air, Twilight giggling as he waved a hand at them.

“All I’m saying is, he’s had powers for at least a month now, and we still haven’t seen him turn into a wolf. It just seems suspicious to me,” Warriors said, adding to the flakes. “I’m pretty sure Time is putting us on.”

“But Malon said it too,” Sky reminded him. “She was talking just yesterday about how cute he was as a wolf, remember?”

“Well maybe he got her in on it too.”

Sky gave him a flat look, and Twilight made a whining noise, squirming in his arms. They looked down at the baby, and Twilight whined again, moving his lips around.

“Guess its time to feed him again,” Sky said, and Warriors nodded, getting to his feet and walking off towards the kitchen.

“I’ll get the bottle. Malon didn’t move it around again, did she?”

“I don’t think so,” Sky called, rocking Twilight a little when he made a fussy noise. “Aw buddy, it’s okay, we’ll feed you in just a second.”

Twilight let out a louder noise of discontent, and Sky shushed him, looking out at the kitchen.

“Hurry it up Wars, he’s getting really cranky!”

“I’m trying, sheesh!” Warriors called back, voice annoyed. “Malon mixed up everything around in the fridge. Now why did she put the salad there of all places...”

Twilight sniffled, his lip trembling, and Sky patted him on the back, moving him so he had his head resting against Sky’s shoulder. The change in position calmed him down a little, but he was still whiny, and Sky winced as he grabbed a lock of his hair and tugged on it.

“Come on Twilight, it’s alright,” Sky shushed, “we’ll feed you in just a second, and your parents will be back soon! No need to be upset.”

Twilight looked at him as he spoke, and Sky smiled, Twilight’s blue eyes watery with tears.

Then his form was abruptly encased in shadows.

Sky yelped, nearly dropping him, but he managed to hold on to the shadows that Twilight had turned into, and watched in shock as they slowly fluttered away.

Leaving a wolf pup in their place.

Sky blinked, and the pup blinked back, and for a moment the only noise was the distant sound of Warriors rifling through the fridge.

Then Twilight whined, wiggling in Sky’s hold and licking at his chin.

Sky’s shock turned to delight, and he laughed as Twilight’s tiny tongue rasped at his chin. “Ha, well, Time was right,” he grinned, running a hand over Twilight’s head, delighting in how fuzzy he was. “A shifter! Buddy, that’s so cool.”

Twilight seemed to pick up on his excitement, and wiggled in his arms, letting out a yip as he licked Sky’s chin again.

“Alright alright, stop, you already spat up on me earlier, I don’t want to change shirts again,” Sky smiled, giving his ears a little scratch. A clatter rang out in the kitchen, and Sky sat up a little straighter. “Oh right— hey Wars! Get in here!”

“I’m still looking! Give me a break!” Warriors shouted back, and Sky huffed, getting to his feet.

“No, not that, you need to come see— oh, hey wait!” Sky exclaimed, shadows drifting around Twilight again. “Warriors hasn’t seen! Stay a wolf!”

“Stay a what?” Warriors hollered.

Sky ignored him, trying to get Twiligjt to stay a wolf, but despite his pleas, the shadows kept forming. And soon enough they’d dispersed, leaving a baby in Sky’s arms again.

Sky sighed, and Twilight set his head on his shoulder, yawning as Warriors finally came back around the corner.

“Look, I finally found it. Even warmed it up. Now what were you yelling about?” Warriors asked, tossing the bottle from one hand to the other.

Sky looked at Warriors, looked at Twilight, then looked back at Warriors one more time.

“Uh... would you believe me if I said he turned into a wolf while you were gone?” he said with a sheepish grin.

Warriors blinked, then snorted, shaking his head. “Riiight. Thought you’d get in on the joke, huh?”

“Aw Wars, look, I know what it looks like, but seriously, he did.”

“Uh-huh, sure. And when I went into the kitchen, I turned into a chicken,” Warriors said seriously, then laughed. “Nice try, Sky.”

“But—”

“Let’s just feed him,” Warriors said, and Sky grumpily took the bottle from his hands, shifting Twilight around and popping the tip in his mouth.

Twilight happily suckled onto it, and Sky looked at him, then exclaimed as he pulled a piece of fuzzy wolf hair off his shoulder.

“Here, see? Wolf hair!” Sky proclaimed, and Warriors took it, squinting at the piece of fluff.

“Sky, this is lint.”

“It’s not!”

“It’s lint.”

“It looks nothing like lint!”

Warriors squinted at the fuzz again, and hummed thoughtfully, rubbing it between two fingers.

“I guess you’re right... it looks like a bit like a moth ball too.”

Sky glared, and Warriors grinned. “Warriors if I wasn’t holding a baby I’d tackle you right now.”

“Well, so long as you don’t sic a wolf on me, I’m good.”

Sky hit him with one of his wings, and Twilight giggled at the sight, Warriors shaking his head as he walked away.

“Like he’d do it in the five minutes I was gone... sheesh,” Warriors muttered to himself, chuckling under his breath as he went to go get a snack of his own. “Yeah right, Sky.”

“Fine, be that way,” Sky huffed, and sat down in a chair, guiding the bottle back into Twilight’s mouth. He smiled down at his nephew, and Twilight snuggled up to him, happily suckling. “Doesn’t matter if he believes me or not. Just so long as he doesn’t come crying to me when you start teething and chew up all his shoes.”

“I heard that!”

[quesadilla-day]

first-time mind-sharing (what if we were both telepathic) (what if we kissed 🥰💕😍)

[foxett]

Swingset finished designs (these apply from chapter 14 onward)

[thequibblah]

FLOWER & THORN, a jily week au—coming soon

—You are quite beyond all mortals, Lady Thorn. You are singularly preoccupying. You are stuck in my side, and I have no way to prise you out of me.

[accirax]

Elliot Cuevas Lore Check (Yoidoreshirazu MV Analysis)

After the intellectuals in our community had the thought to check the description of DRDTdev’s latest MV masterpiece, one fact became pretty clear: DRDT’s sparkly new MV is not fronted by one of our main cast of sixteen, or even a particularly pre-established side character. Instead, it’s time for Elliot Cuevas to take the stage, and bring with him a lot of questions ranging from “wait, that’s what he looks like?” to “wait, is the killing game predicated on a basis of lies?!” There’s… a lot running through my mind right now, and I see no better way to process it than to start answering the questions that I and others may have as best I can through a theory post. I’m living!

And when I say “answering the questions,” I mean that quite literally. I think that the best way to frame this analysis is to divide it into headlining questions, and tackle what we know and what we can learn piece by piece. Therefore, I think the most obvious question we can start with is:

#1: Who is Elliot Cuevas?

We don’t have a ton of information about the guy, but I’ve tried to compile what we do. By far the most information we’d gotten on Ellie prior to this MV was from the Chapter 2 Part 1 Q&A, where DRDTdev described a little about all of the major siblings we’d heard of so far. Here’s what DRDTdev said:

So, we know that Elliot was given the nickname “Ellie” (and presumably likes it, given that he’s credited in the MV as “Ellie”), and he looks really similar to Charles, which we also saw in the MV. Given how similar he looks to Charles, I’m going to assume that they’re biological brothers, which would make Ellie hispanic/latino. Similarly, I’m assuming that he identifies as male, due to his use of he/him pronouns and the term “brother” being applied to him. He likes pancakes and dogs, which… we’ll get back to later. Charles is stated to be 18+ at the start of Despair Time, which would make Ellie 29-32+ if he were alive today. Which… huh. Is he?

#2: Is Ellie alive?

The belief that Ellie is dead isn’t just a popular headcanon that metamorphosed into “fact”– his death is directly referenced in the text in the form of Charles’ secret. Your older brother, Elliot, died.

However, this MV does make it tempting to believe that Ellie could be alive, so let’s give it the benefit of the doubt for a moment. If Ellie is alive, there are two sets of two questions to consider.

Question #1: If Ellie is alive, why did people think he died?

Ellie was in a life threatening scenario that people believed he didn’t escape from, but he did. After this, he either took the opportunity to disappear, or something prevented him from reuniting with his loved ones.

Ellie did die, and the DRDT universe contains some sort of necromantic magic or time travel properties that could bring him back to life.

Question #2: If Ellie is alive, why does the secret say that he’s dead?

Whoever wrote the secrets (likely the mastermind) did so intending to tell the truth. They learned the information from a source that led them to believe that Ellie had died, and if Ellie turned up alive, they would be just as surprised as everyone else.

Whoever wrote the secrets (likely the mastermind) did so intending to lie. They knew that Ellie was really alive, and included his “death” in the secret just to fuck with Charles. This could also imply that other students’ secrets incorporate some level of lies.

If Ellie is alive, I think that the #1 situation is more likely for both questions.

If Ellie is dead, we don’t know exactly when his death happened. Given that Charles cites it under the umbrella of “childhood amnesia,” we can pin Ellie’s hypothetical death down to a time when Charles was a child. The National Institute of Health defines childhood as 3-11 years old. So, if Ellie died when Charles was 3-11, it would mean Ellie’s age of death would fall between 14 and 23.

I made this little moodboard to try to piece together around what age Ellie might be depicted as in the MV based on how DRDTdev has drawn people of various ages before. This is important under the assumption that Ellie canonically looked like this at some point during his life. ‘Cause (picking obviously wrong numbers here), if Ellie had died when he was, like, 2, it’d be weird if the MV showed him when he was, like, 50, right?

Allow me to take a little detour to discuss the Nageishi sisters and establish their ages. I initially ballparked Arei’s age as around 13 in that picture, which would have made her sisters (who are 2-5 years older than her) 15-18. However, there’s some actual evidence we can pull upon to clarify when that image might have come from.

In Arei and J’s FTE, J says that Arei “definitely [*was*] a highschool bully,” and Arei confirms that she was “the queen of her school.” Assuming that these two are to be believed, we can estimate based on the average age at which an American enters high school as a freshman that Arei has been a bully since at least around 14. While I don’t necessarily expect that Arei came in and became the queen bee on the first day of freshman year, it certainly would have been easier to establish her reign if the other students hadn’t previously seen her being bullied and tortured for a year or so beforehand. Therefore, Arei is probably in a maximum of eighth grade (12-13) in that image, so that she would have had enough time to sabotage her sisters before entering high school.

Additionally, although it isn’t stated in the secret the killing game handed out, Arei confesses to David and Teruko that she “got [her sisters] unlawfully sent to reform school.” Through a bit of googling, I learned that many reform schools cap out at about 16-17 years old, although it’s impossible to confirm that without knowing which state Arei grew up in. If that’s the case, then Fuyuko and Natsuko could only be a maximum of 17 years old, which is in the same sort of age range as Arei being a maximum of 15 in that picture. However, I don’t know if the Nageishi parents/the government would find it too useful to send the sisters to reform school for only one year, so it seems more likely that they’re younger than that in the picture. I might ballpark that Arei is 12 and Fuyuko and Natsuko are 15 in the picture.

Anyways, I think we can definitely rule out the possibility of Ellie dying when Charles was on the lower end of the age spectrum. He looks way older than any of the characters drawn “when they were kids”, and notably older than Arei as well. To me, he also looks older than Ryan, meaning he probably reached the age of an 18+ adult.

Unfortunately, there’s a really large age range that’s gone undepicted between the “18+” killing game participants and Mariabella, the only “parent-aged” adult we’ve seen so far. I would probably put Ellie’s appearance between the two, but it’s also possible that his unkempt hair and eyebags are making him look older than he actually was, a la Syobai Hashimoto of SDRA2 (the link is a spoiler-free picture of him). Syobai’s exact age is unknown, but generally young, yet many people think he’s an old man when they first see him. That phenomenon could be going on with Ellie as well.

If he is, we’ll say, 20 or older, though, there’s a limited number of ages he could have died at that would still fall within Charles’ childhood. If Ellie died, he did so when Charles was in the 8-11 kind of age range. Otherwise, for Ellie to reach the age he’s shown at in the MV, he probably survived to grow older than Charles’ family last remembers him. I think Ellie’s death is probably more likely, but, hey, that means we’ve narrowed down the period in which Charles could have acquired his childhood amnesia. That’s something!

#3: How does Charles feel about Ellie?

Well, okay. Obviously, in the current day, Charles doesn’t know who Ellie is, and therefore probably doesn’t have any strong feelings about him other than confusion. But, before Charles forgot about him, what was Charles’ opinion?

I actually thought that Charles really admiring Ellie was a canon fact, but looking back at it, I don’t think it was ever directly stated. That said, there are several reasons why I thought that their relationship was a positive one.

Told you we’d come back to Ellie liking pancakes! I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that, when Charles thinks of what he’d like to learn how to cook, he comes up with Ellie’s favorite food. It could be that Ellie used to make pancakes for Charles, or that they simply used to go out and get pancakes together, but Charles clearly has some sort of repressed memories about pancakes with his brother that makes him want to seek them out again.

We already knew that Charles and Ellie were known to look very alike, and this MV confirmed that was true, down to the length of their hair. If Charles didn’t like Ellie, he easily could have kept his hair short, like the haircut he had as a child, as a way to make them look less similar. However, Charles is very attached to keeping his hair in a long ponytail, just as Ellie wears it. That implies to me that Charles saw Ellie as enough of a role model to seek replicating the image of his brother through his own style even when he doesn’t remember that Ellie existed. That’s powerful.

#4: Why does Ellie look… like that?

Now this is a point that I’m still confused about. Charles’ affluent backstory has been alluded to multiple times. Both his inability to do his own laundry and his lack of knowledge in the kitchen imply that he had people to cook and clean for him. It’s possible that Charles’ parents were the ones doing that for him (which implies some level of wealth, but not so much as living in a house full of butlers and maids), but the general vibe I’ve gotten is that Charles’ family was well-off enough that they hired help.

If we assume that Charles and Ellie are biological brothers who spent enough time together to form a notable bond, it really seems like they would have grown up in the same household for both of their youths, together. So then, what gives with Ellie’s appearance? The patched up jacket, blemished face, and basic cigarette don’t match at all with the pristine white mansion with hedges that many might imagine for Charles. How would that have played out?

Option A: Ellie was the family’s rebellious wild child

I’m having trouble coming up with good examples, but there’s definitely a trope out there of a big brother character who’s a bit of a rude rebel, but still a pure-hearted dreamer that their younger sibling(s) can really look up to. Ellie was just the member of the uptight Cuevas family that couldn’t be tamed, no matter how hard his parents tried to cramp his thrifty style or stop him from going out and partying(?).

Notably, this option is quite confusing for Charles. Even if this figure is considered the typical epitome of cool, I don’t know if it’s someone who Charles would really gel with. As a child, Charles is depicted as pretty wide-eyed and innocent with his adorable little bubbles. I’m not saying that that kind of kid couldn’t come to idolize their rockstar big bro– just that, if they did, they probably wouldn’t turn out like Charles. Still, it could be an opposites attract situation, or perhaps forgetting Ellie and the ensuing trauma changed Charles more than we would have expected.

This interpretation is also… a bit of a leap, considering what we’ve seen of Ellie.

Like, these are not particularly the expressions of a thrill-seeking party animal who loves to crack open a cold one with the boys. Most of his expressions look wary, scary, or contemplative, and even the two that are smiling are doing so in more of a wry/teasing way. Fun-loving scamp Ellie might fit the way he’s styled his body, but not so much the expressions on his face. Perhaps the characterization was a little off?

Option B: Ellie was the family’s edgy black sheep

Instead of Ellie’s cigarette and messy ponytail implying that he’s supposed to be punk and cool, perhaps they’re meant to indicate that he was more emo and nihilistic. I don’t imagine that the Cuevas household would’ve liked this too much either, but it’s still a plausible way for a privileged teen to rebel against his family system. This kind of attitude matches more with the range of expressions we can gather from Yoidoreshirazu.

However, if it would be hard for Charles to relate to the last guy, I have no idea what Charles would be doing looking up to this guy. Maybe if their one-on-one moments showed Charles the soft heart behind Ellie’s tough exterior, Charles would’ve come to appreciate his perspective on life…? Yeah, I don’t really imagine these two enjoying a plate of pancakes together, either. Also, this would have been when Charles was, like, a kindergartener.

But if that’s the case, what then? Is my image of the Cuevas household just totally off? Or is this version of Ellie not compatible with the Cuevas household at all?

Option C: Ellie was kicked out of his family and left for dead

Especially in front of the grimy brick background and neon street sign, Ellie’s worse-for-wear appearance did make me think that this image of him could have been taken from a time when Ellie was without a home and living on the streets. As in, this look was never associated with the Cuevas household at all.

This option has some definite appeal because it allows a lot more flexibility from Ellie’s personality before he was kicked out. He could have been a stand-up guy, smart like Charles and a great mentor too, and only have adopted his more dour personality once he was kicked out of home. There are plenty of reasons why someone could be disowned that don’t (necessarily) reflect poorly on their character: Google lists being LGBTQ+, dating someone of a different race or religion, getting someone pregnant, or not following the profession your parents wanted for you as possibilities, depending on who the parents are and what they believe.

Any interpretation where the Cuevas parents are somewhat ashamed of Ellie would also help to rationalize why Mr. and Mrs. Cuevas lied to Charles about being an only sibling. If they really loved Ellie, they might have tried to bridge the subject with Charles one day, and not let the memory of their elder son fade into history. If he was someone they didn’t want to associate with in the first place, covering up his death would have been much more emotionally viable.

So, if the Cuevas parents are the kind of people to disown their kid for less-than-fair reasons, Ellie could have still been the kind of treasured big brother figure to Charles one might have expected while also getting kicked to the curb. However, this option raises the definite question of… how did Ellie’s death happen?

On the surface, that might seem like a strange question. Sadly, homeless people in the United States have an average life span that’s 17.5 years shorter than the average housed person’s life span, and the number of deaths have only been increasing in recent years. Especially in a civilization that was once home to the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history, trying to survive without a home might be quite difficult. 

All that doesn’t really apply to Ellie, though, because we have a pretty decent lead on how he died: dog attack.

Even if he might not remember why, Charles dislikes dogs, and has a remnant of that turbulent relationship etched into his very skin. Ellie actually likes dogs, an interesting point of contrast, but one that makes it clear that dogs are important to Charles’ backstory in some manner. I and others have then speculated that the attack in which Charles got that scar on his arm may have been the time at which Ellie died. Both events– the attack that created the scar and Ellie’s passing– were erased by his childhood amnesia.

The story would play out as something along the lines of “Ellie and Charles used to both really love dogs, and were approached by a dog one day. However, that dog was feral, and attacked Charles. He was bitten on the arm before Ellie told Charles to run as Ellie stayed behind to protect his brother. However, Ellie couldn’t fend off the dog himself, and was instead mauled to death. Charles escaped with an injured arm and a head full of trauma that would cause him to fully erase the memory of his brother from his mind.” Don’t know how feasible that exact scenario is, but I always imagined it as something like that.

So, if Ellie was living on the street at the time of his death, how would the two of them have come together for the dog to attack? Maybe Charles could have been visiting Ellie on his own, but, again, he would have been 8-11 years old at the time. Would the 8-11 year old Charles have really had the means or motive to set out alone to see his brother, and would the Cuevas family have really let their elementary school-aged son wander off into the streets alone?

Then there’s the issue of Ellie’s age again. Look. I’m not trying to say that every 23 year old should be able to 1v1 a feral dog in a fight. I’m 23, and if I had to fight a street dog to the death, I would probably lose! However, while I am a quiet nerd who likes to write thousand word essays about anime video game fanfiction characters in her free time, Ellie seems like a fairly athletic young man. If he looks like Charles, he’s also probably around Charles’ height of 5’9”. Plus, it probably didn’t have to be to the death. Couldn’t Ellie have used those long legs to run away, or his human hands to make an improvised weapon, or something? To me, it feels much more plausible for Ellie to have been killed in a dog attack if he were also a child/teen when it happened. But, that should be incompatible with his appearance in the MV. Unless–

Option D: Ellie became this way… after he was “dead”?

Wait, what? No, wait, I thought I had already determined that Ellie was dead! What do you mean it might ACTUALLY MAKE MORE SENSE IF HE WAS ALIVE??? WHAT HAS THIS MV COME TO?! AAAAAAAAAA–

Well. If this version of Ellie is what he “became” after he faked his death (or had it faked for him), certain elements start to line up. There is no conflict with the Cuevas family, because Ellie’s personality could have been completely different than what we see in Yoidoreshirazu. Similarly, we don’t have to solve why Charles would have built such a bond with this guy because this guy may not have existed when he was interacting with Charles. The brothers growing up in a household together would make it considerably easier for them both to encounter a mean dog at the same time. And, if Ellie didn’t have to reach this 20+ age before he disappeared from Charles’ life, the whole story could have been set much earlier, such that Ellie could have been fending the dog off when he was more of a kid or teen himself. Then, being separated from his family and presumed dead is what caused Ellie to lose his faith in life, take up his smoking habit, and hardly be able to sleep or smile.

This could still involve him being forced to live on the streets, although I would then wonder why he didn’t ever try to get back in contact with his family. Maybe he did and they turned him away? But, if he was an admirable son, I see no reason why they would do that. Perhaps he had expressed a bit more discontentment with the Cuevas family prior, and decided that, given this opportunity, it was for the best to sever his ties with them? That seems like a pretty extreme decision to keep up with given the state that Ellie seems to have wound up in, and would call into question how much Ellie cared about Charles if he was so willing to leave him behind.

It would kind of make more sense to me if, in this scenario, an outside force was stopping Ellie from reuniting with his family– for instance, if XF-Ture Tech offered Ellie a deal like they did to Min (somewhat forcing his hand), which included that he could never contact his family again. That could certainly make Ellie more important to the plot moving forward, and explain part of why he even got this MV. But, what would XF-Ture Tech want to do with some kid who was just near-fatally mauled by a dog attack? An near-fatal attack that… he doesn’t even seem to have scars on his face, neck, or right hand from???

Option E: this is how ellie looks in heaven or hell or whatever i don’t freakin know

Some of you may have been screaming at me the entire time that Ellie’s design may not be “canon,” so to speak, and you know what? That’s valid. It could simply be a projection of what Ellie could have looked like if he’d ever grown to this point in age, or his appearance may have been modified to better match Gumi’s disheveled vibe in the original Yoidoreshirazu MV, and not reflect his true personality. Ellie and Gumi do have really similar poses, cigarettes and all.

However, it would seem a little odd to me to give the audience what’s basically an AU design of Ellie before we got the original version. That would lead to insanely wrong conclusions like what I just wrote above if true, which could potentially cause people to interpret future content incorrectly. That’s not good. Besides, the song was still chosen for Ellie, and the song carries the same sort of gritty, nightlife vibe that the Gumi design does. Could the lyrics of the song really fit Ellie so well that the entire energy of the song and appearance of the MV could be waived?

#5: What’s up with these lyrics?

Sigh. I hate to move on to the next talking point when I haven’t yet resolved what we were last discussing, but, to be honest, I don’t know if I can resolve why Ellie looks and acts like that with the information we currently have. I’m kind of banking on the lyrics swaying me in the right direction when it comes to that interpretation, but given that I’m probably going to have to reverse engineer a lot of the lyrics’ meaning, I don’t have high hopes.

Well, we’ve already seen how I think these lyrics would apply to Rose, so how do I think they would fit Ellie? More questions ahead, but please note that I may be taking certain lyrics more specifically than they’re meant to be interpreted. I don’t have much else to go off of, so for the sake of gaining pretty much any knowledge I kinda have to assume the lyrics are total slam dunks.

#6: What can we learn about Ellie’s personality?

I woke up as an unaware drunkard  All of this bickering goes on til the dawn comes 

Ellie wakes up and immediately begins to complain. Unless he’s bickering with himself, he isn’t alone, although that doesn’t necessarily mean he has friends. In the original song, I imagine this lyric to be more about passersby or the general state of the world, so it could be the same case for Ellie.

In Ellie’s case, it’s unclear exactly what being a “drunkard” means. It could just be the literal interpretation, where Ellie is an alcoholic. I wouldn’t know. Being a drunkard could also extend to being an addict in general— we can be pretty certain that Ellie is a smoker (unless see Option E above). It could also be that the “drunkard” part of the phrase is less important and it’s more just about being unaware. Although, that would require further interpretation for later lines like “getting drunk again and again,” and Drunkard is also half of the song’s title (“An Unaware Drunkard”). Still, Elliot could be enveloped in the same sort of general haze I described back when I gave this song to Rose. Or, he could literally just be a guy that likes to drink a lot. Either way, it gives off the impression of someone who spends more time centered in his own world than butting into others’ businesses.

The singing voices are uncountable And once one gets lost in them, they end up at your xx Hey, look at how pretty it is, the day dream rondo  I hide a thousand and can only spit out ten

More introvert coding– he really doesn’t like being in large groups of people. Ellie keeps the same pretty neutral expression throughout all of these lines in the MV, which makes it kind of hard to discern exactly what these statements mean for him. Like, is “look how pretty it is” supposed to show how he’s easily distracted by dreams and frivolous things, or how he’s using positive things to distract those around him from how he “hides a thousand and can only spit out ten”? In either case, that latter line seems to imply that Ellie is dissatisfied with whatever he’s doing in life (or death?) right now– “can only spit out” makes me think that he feels he should be doing more.

Giving in, I’m living Getting drunk again and again, unexpectedly- Ah, it's not half bad

Ah, the infamous screenshot from the presumed dead man. This smirky face gives some definite context for the attitude of these lines. Ellie seems smug or proud that he’s living… because he’s beating the death allegations? Well, it could also be that he just enjoys living a life of sin (smoking and drinking), and/or enjoys defying the expectations of the Cuevas family in this way. There’s also a certain irony to saying “I’m living” while flaunting a cigarette in his hand. Ellie may also be someone who enjoys tempting fate and defying the odds.

Ellie’s facial expressions with these lines make me believe that he actually thinks that getting drunk again and again is pretty cool, and it’s not just a deflection from a tumultuous mind. Which, again, begs the question of whether the “drinking” is literal, or a metaphor for something else. With not much other information to go off of, I’m kind of assuming it’s both at the moment. Ellie (in this state) probably is someone who drinks and enjoys doing it, but also someone who doesn’t feel any guilt over ignoring– or forgetting– his problems.

#7: Did Ellie also forget about Charles?

There are a strange number of lines in this song that could imply that Ellie isn’t just being ignorant, he’s actually forgetting about something big. That something could be the memory of his younger brother, just like how Charles forgot the memory of his elder. Runs in the family, I guess?

I woke up as an unaware drunkard

Starting at the very first line, you could begin to view the lyrics through the lens of someone who lacked information about their past: “Elliot woke up somewhere random mostly forgetting who he was in a hazy state of being.” To be clear, I’m not saying that that’s the interpretation of the line, just an interpretation of the line. It’s an interpretation that builds further connections with later lyrics, though.

And then   The sacred mountain is covered in mud, it’s smeared and chipping away, ah yes, it's not half bad 

That's my muddy, obstructed, and broken vision of the future- It’s not half bad 

These lines focus on something being damaged or broken. Ignoring the original song’s references to Mount Penglai, which are completely absent from this MV, I would interpret a character’s “sacred mountain” as their central motivation. The pursuit of this goal would be very important, or “sacred” to them, and just as majestic as it is difficult to traverse and achieve. That pairs well with Ellie losing his view of the future, as both indicate that he’s completely forgotten what his purpose in life is.

And yet, he insists that it’s not half bad. Why? The most likely reason is that, for whatever reasons made him look like this, Ellie has just adopted the same sort of fatalistic behavior as Gumi did in her MV. However, you also might not think that forgetting something was bad if you ever forgot that you forgot it. For the majority of his life, Charles hasn’t thought that forgetting Ellie was a terrible ordeal because he had no clue that Ellie even existed. For Ellie, it could be frightening to know that you’ve forgotten a lot of who you are, but also freeing. That dichotomy could be what resulted in his current pensive yet playful behavior.

Getting drunk again and again, unexpectedly- Ah, it's not half bad I'm a drunkard unaware of my rival in love, so 

I'm a drunkard unaware of the story

These lines are ones that really made me think that Ellie could have forgotten Charles in particular. I’m really not sure what “rival in love” was supposed to mean in the original song, but for Ellie, that rival being his brother makes sense. He doesn’t have a lover, as far as we’re aware, but he may have had to fight against Charles for his parents’ affections in the past. Many siblings have a competitive relationship with one another, so Charles could also be described as a rival who Ellie loves. Charles is an easy stand-in for “the story” as well, as long as we assume that the main plot of the killing game is considered “the story.” Charles is a major player in the killing game who’s already been going on a major story arc of his own, and, being Ellie’s little brother, it would make sense if Ellie’s priorities in the story were Charles-focused were he aware of the killing game.

What would it mean if Ellie had forgotten Charles, though? It seems most likely to me that, if both brothers came to forget one another, the trauma would have stemmed from the same event. But, if Charles forgot about Ellie because of that dog attack, Ellie could have only had time to forget who Charles was if he survived for long enough after the attack to have that revelation. Also, don’t know how important this is, but if the attack gave Charles childhood amnesia, would it have had the same effect on a 20+ year old man? I don’t know enough about amnesia to know if the same circumstances that would cause a child to discard their memories would also result in an adult forgetting about aspects of their life. Then again, Ellie almost certainly suffered greater damage than Charles, so any aftereffects may have been more severe.

I obviously can’t declare with 100% certainty that Ellie forgot who Charles was, nor can I even get particularly close. Still, these strange threads seemed to be too prominent to ignore, and this was the best solution I could find to them with the information we know now.

#8: Who is “you”?

Twice in Yoidoreshirazu’s lyrics does the singer reference a character as “you.”

Neglecting my happiness, I never want to sober up until it's time to listen to your voice I’m giving into you, but you don’t even have anything to say and my body is dyed

Please don't let this fleeting happiness go away, until I can lend an ear by your side I’m giving into you, but you don’t even have anything to say and my heart is dyed

This person is quite important to the singer, as the singer craves their voice and succumbs to their person, their body and soul colored by the experience. And yet, there’s a sense of isolation, as “you” refuses to say anything back to the singer. It’s a classic tale of immense devotion met with quiet rejection for Ellie to partake in with… someone. I don’t know who.

For what it’s worth, I do think the lyrics imply that this is another human person as opposed to, say alcohol. While alcohol can certainly have a profound impact on a person, causing their happiness to come and go and changing aspects of their physicality, “you” is referred to with enough human traits that it doesn’t match up. Maybe anthropomorphized alcohol could have a voice, but when has it ever needed you to listen to it? To my knowledge, lending an ear to the bottle itself is pretty unheard of.

So, is “you” Charles? That makes some sense, as Charles is the only relevant character to Ellie’s story that we know much about. Based on what we’ve already established about Ellie and Charles’ probable bond, Ellie could definitely fit the devoted older brother character in one flavor or another. But then, why would Charles have rejected him? Could be the whole childhood amnesia thing, but then Ellie would have had to exist during a period of time when Charles had already developed the amnesia and also remember who Charles was enough himself to care. Charles could have also just not liked him much, but that contradicts with the evidence presented back at Question 3.

Honestly, I don’t think Charles is “you,” despite my lack of other options. Perhaps “we” can figure this out?

worn out, we all look horrible until all thousand voices become hoarse 

Yeah, there’s also a “we” in Yoidoreshirazu, which furthers the idea that, wherever he is/was, Ellie isn’t alone. The lyrics make it unclear whether the “we” is the singer + you (and maybe others), or just the singer + others– I’d probably lean that it probably wasn’t meant to include “you” in the original, but who knows how DRDTdev chose to interpret the song. Still, as alcohol isn’t normally described as “looking horrible,” this further implies that there are other human characters referenced in Ellie’s MV. In the case of “we,” Ellie also has to associate with these people enough to include himself as part of them. He’s in a group. Why? How? When?

#9: What differences are there between this MV and the original?

This one goes out to all the people who thought to go back and check the original Literature Girl Insane MV for differences while we were dealing with that whole project! It inspired me to try the same thing here, and see what happened.

Yoidoreshirazu is a much easier task than LGI, though, because it’s a simpler song and MV on all fronts. Both MVs only portray one character, one location, and one color for the lyrics to be transcribed in. (There’s also only, like, a max of twelve words on screen at a time, unlike David’s mental library.) For the most part, the two Yoidoreshirazus are very similar. None of the lyrics were edited from Magenetra’s translation on the vocaloid lyrics wiki, the lights turn on and off at the same times, and the DRDT version doesn’t appear to include any additional puzzles or easter eggs. Still, they aren’t exactly the same, so I’ll write out the differences I found playing them side by side for both my own and others’ purposes.

Gumi is on screen at the start, then quickly disappears and comes back, while it takes Ellie until the lyrics start to appear.

Not much extra to explain on this point. It may indicate that Ellie was missing or absent for a longer period of time, or at least that he’s more mysterious/quiet than Yoidoreshirazu’s Gumi.

Gumi has her tongue out a lot more at the beginning of the song.

Before Ellie takes off his hood (so, basically for the first half of the song), he only sticks his tongue out for one part of the song, from 0:52 (“getting drunk again and again”) to 0:59 (“my rival in love”). Meanwhile, Gumi has her tongue out from the moment the lyrics start (0:09, “I woke up as an unaware drunkard”) to the end of the first stanza (0:25, “all thousand voices become hoarse”), and then does it again from 0:43 to 0:59, the entirety of the first chorus (“the sacred mountain” to “rival in love”). This gives Gumi the appearance of being more rebellious, while Ellie is more moody.

Gumi smiles a lot more than Ellie.

When Gumi returns from the first chorus (1:00), she’s already smiling. While she shifts from a satisfied smirk to a smug grin to an enraptured beam to a content smile, she doesn’t actually stop smiling from the minute mark on until the vocals stop (2:10). Meanwhile, Ellie doesn’t smile at all until 1:50, and drops the playful tongue-out expression after a mere six seconds. The only lines that Ellie smiles for are “I’m living / Getting drunk again and again– Ah, it’s not half bad,” which is quite interesting. The overall result is the same as the bullet point above; that Gumi is at least better at pretending to be happy while Ellie is lost in his sorrows.

Ellie and Gumi’s expressions are pretty different in general.

Here are all of Ellie’s expressions versus all of Gumi’s expressions. In the end, Gumi actually had more expressions, which I wasn’t expecting. Some of their faces are mirrors to each other, while others are different.

Both Ellie and Gumi have a serious eyes closed face, a bored/neutral face, a bored tongue-out face, a scary face with big eyes, and a sleazy grin. The only unique faces Ellie has on top of those are the more playful tongue-out smile (present only when his hood is off) and the contemplative downward gaze. Gumi has a knowing smile, a hopeful smile, and a content smile. With those differences, we conclude that, on the whole, Gumi seems to have a bit more hope in the world, while Ellie is downcast. I’m sure you couldn’t have guessed that by the results of the last two points (/s).

Ellie has a costume change.

Not hard to notice; Ellie takes his hood off mid-MV while Gumi keeps her outfit the same.

There’s a part of the song where Ellie disappears while Gumi is present.

If anything in this question is going to be important, it’s probably this tidbit. At 1:39 in DRDT Yoidoreshirazu and 1:37 in original Yoidoreshirazu, the line “and my heart is dyed” plays. At this point in the MV, Gumi is present on screen, but Ellie is not. Gumi then disappears alongside Ellie for the following “sore wa” before both reappear for the chorus, but the difference is still notable. Something about the line “and my heart is dyed” caused DRDTdev to remove Ellie from the MV when he otherwise should have been there. This could mean that Ellie’s absence is what caused his heart to be dyed, that Ellie was actually absent when the heart dying occurred, or something else. Regardless, the difference in visuals– especially one that leaves the lyrics as the only thing on screen for you to look at– means that “and my heart is dyed” is likely the most important lyric of the song for Ellie.

Ellie is doing a whole lot more in the final chorus.

This is probably why I thought that Ellie had more sprites than Gumi did, other than the whole two outfits thing. Throughout the entire second chorus, Gumi only uses one face, the smile with big eyes. Meanwhile, Ellie rotates through four different faces before returning to the one he started with; scary stare -> neutral -> eyes closed -> grin -> tongue-out smile -> scary stare. It gives Ellie a whole lot more character than Gumi had in that final portion. Granted, the inverse is also true: Ellie switched faces less frequently than Gumi at the beginning of the song. It leads me to believe that the lyrics at the end of the song may be more important to Ellie than the lyrics of the start, as the end is featured as the most memorable portion.

#10: So, um… What did we learn, exactly?

Honestly… I don’t know. Unlike the Chapter 2 murder, which is intended to be basically solvable, or even the characters’ secrets, which have had much revealed with minimal possible permutations, so little has been confirmed about Ellie that it makes it near impossible to settle on one answer as absolute truth. I can write out my current best theory about what may be going on with Ellie, but it’s honestly so implausible that I don’t really think it’s going to be canon myself.

If we prioritize the information given to us in this music video and the Q&As and disregard the effects that our conclusion might have on the story of DRDT as a whole, then I think the most likely option was actually Option D, Ellie became this way after he died. I think that Ellie was a bright young man– maybe not perfect, but still an older brother that Charles could look up to. Ellie and Charles were really close when Charles was a little kid, and they loved to hang out and eat pancakes together.

One day– maybe when Charles was about 4 and Ellie was about 16?– Ellie saw a dog on the side of the road and, loving dogs, brought his baby brother over to say hi to it. Unfortunately, the dog was feral and mean, and it bit Charles on the arm, injuring him greatly. Defending Charles, Ellie attacked the dog and told Charles to run away for safety. Charles made it back to his parents, bleeding and horribly traumatized, while Ellie did not. Ellie never came back home, so his parents had no choice but to assume he was dead. They chose to conceal the existence of their elder son from their younger, whether to avoid triggering Charles’ phobias or because they too wished him erased from the history books.

However, even though the world believed that Ellie had died, he actually survived!  Though, not in one piece. He was probably severely wounded (perhaps leaving behind scars on any part of his body that wasn’t shown in the MV), and, just like his brother, suffered amnesia that caused him to forget who he was. From there, it depends on how he would have survived the dog attack.

If he barely emerged victorious from the battle due to his own power, then, with no memories, he was forced to live on the street. He gained his washed-up attitude from experiencing life’s hardships while being right on the cusp of remembering something more.

If he received aid from and then was indebted to a group like XF-Ture Tech, he may have been given some kind of help, but not without a cost. He probably started working for them in some capacity, even if he wasn’t a fan of his work/coworkers, and gained his washed-up attitude from years of nihilistically supporting the shady company.

The MV takes place in a time close to present day, when Ellie is reflecting on the state of his life and what he does remember. He hates the people he’s surrounded by, and can only lean on his bad habits (substance abuse and/or appearing more uncaring/airheaded than he actually is) to get by. He knows that he’s a shell of a person with no memories of his past or aspirations for his future, but there isn’t really anything he can do about it, right…? The vague memories of a “rival in love” and a main “story” are the only things giving him a taunting yet unerasable hope.

Woohoo, drama. But, like, that’s ridiculous, right? The secret literally said that Ellie was dead! How the hell could he still be alive? Did the mastermind’s source– whatever it was– just have the facts wrong, or are they actually lying? Wouldn’t the Cuevas family have looked harder for the body? Does amnesia even work like that? Does XF-Ture Tech even work like that???

Needless to say, I am still quite confused. The answer above is still the answer that makes the most sense to me, but it also has its own obvious flaws. I feel like I must just be straight up wrong about the identity of the Cuevas family, the method of Ellie’s death, the age at which Ellie appears in this MV, or something like that, but I don’t know what it would be. Even more than usual, I’d love to hear everyone else’s thoughts on this mysterious character. I feel like more analysis of the guy is going to come out soon, so hopefully some of the more numerical data like trying to pin down Ellie’s age or noticing the differences in the two MVs will help someone else make a breakthrough. Still, I encourage you to come forth with anything you have to say, because I want to hear it.

Thus concludes your instructional pamphlet on how to write an essay on a music video at a rate of 54 words per second of the music video. Thanks for reading!

[vidalinav]

(lovingly banging fists on table) sick Nesta! Sick Nesta! Sick Nesta!

Okay, part 1! Though it doesn't include sick Nesta yet.

Oh! Also this is an acofas re-write basically.

~

"Maybe she decided not to come," Elain whispers to Feyre, peering through the window as if that might summon their sister--a ghost in winter white.

Cassian pretends not to overhear, but one look from Rhys tells him they're all aware of the missing Archeron sister who's decided to not grace them with her presence.

Mor claps her hands, moving to stand with a drink in her hand--probably to remind Feyre of birthday wishes and solstice celebrations--that life is not lived staring out of windows. Rhys only takes a sip of his wine, his eyes growing darker as he stares at burning firewood. Ashes and dust collecting at the bottom.

Not for the first time does Cassian wish he could peer into his brother's thoughts, like he can hear into his mind. He has a vague inclination as to what he might find, and Cassian can't help the feeling welling up in his chest, howling like the winter wind.

Nesta said she'd attend, but she's nowhere in sight.

She does have an act for haunting them.

Her absence is here in this room, and no amount of ignoring that simple fact will stop Elain from checking the windows or looking up at the door. Feyre keeps looking at the envelope he knows is filled with money--a bribe for coming to her own sister's birthday.

A bribe for coming to a place she'll know he'll be.

Because he hasn't forgotten that part. Cassian hasn't forgotten how Nesta throws him away, telling him in no uncertain terms she wants nothing to do with him. Nothing but... laying on his body to shield him from a fatal blow.

Nothing but almost dying together.

He can hear the crisp crackling of the fire. A snap and a twist, like bones and blood. A war that took from them all--but somehow left a ghost where Nesta Archeron used to be.

"She said she'd come," Feyre says, certainty in her voice. A certainty that no one in this room must share--not even Cassian who keeps thinking of her name as if that alone will call her forth.

Nesta. Nesta. Nesta.

The wind howls it.

Nesta. Nesta. Nesta.

The winter sings it.

Where must Nesta Archeron be?

"Do you think something happened to her?"

"I'll go look for her," Cassian says, standing abruptly in response to Elain's question.

Amren scoffs, sniffing at her drink like it might be blood. He wonders if she wishes she still had a taste for it. "You're probably the last she wants to see."

Cassian looks to Elain and then to Feyre, who stands by the door, the envelope tucked closely in her hand. "Do you want to go look for her?"

Mor huffs, grasping Feyre's arm. "It's Feyre's birthday. Should we not celebrate? Azriel can send his shadows."

At the mention of his name, Azriel peers towards him. Cassian can't read his mind, but he thinks he knows what that look means--knows that it's something he'll never say aloud.

"You should go," Azriel says, his voice strong if not quiet.

"But you'll be missing the celebration!"

Feyre only looks to Cassian at the words, her look stern and commanding. He is her loyal soldier after all.

"I want her here," she says.

It's Elain who offers her sister reprieve, a placating, soft palm resting on Feyre's shoulder. "What if she doesn't want to come?"

"She doesn't have a choice," Rhys grits out from his seat on the couch, his drink swirling in his hand. Cassian thinks of tornados and storms, a rumbling earthquake trapped in glass.

Feyre stands taller as she faces her mate. "She'll always have a choice."

Cassian doesn't wait to hear Rhys grumble or his muttering apologies or what he'll say about Nesta. He doesn't know if Rhys will keep quiet or not, but something tells him his brother is getting close to putting his foot in his mouth rather than biting his tongue.

So Cassian goes for his coat, and the scarf he knows Elain had meant to gift Nesta at the beginning of the season. It sits in the closet collecting dust, and so too does her name in his mind--calling and echoing, never silent. Never answered.

"Take my coat, too," Feyre calls. "Just in case."

Cassian gives one firm nod at his high lady, one grimace to her sister, and one glance to his family who look at him as if they've never quite seen him before. A look he's seen plenty. A look that means they just don't understand why.

Cassian isn't sure himself, if he's honest.

Or perhaps, it just hurts too much to be honest.

That this human turned fae, this woman turned saint, cauldron blessed or cursed, had not just taken from the cauldron.

She had taken his entire soul with her too.

~

He finds her lying in the snow with a fever in the next part. bye!

[drachonia]

𝐚 𝐫 𝐦 𝐬 .

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: so i had some thoughts for fluff and i feel like this motherfucker (affectionate) deserves a little bit of love. he isn't released on EN servers yet, so i'm going off mostly what i've been told of him, which isn't much. here's this song that helped me write for a little bit of ambience.

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: fluff, slightly ooc alfons(?), mild reference to depressive thoughts.

𝘪 '𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 . . . 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙥𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙢 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚 .

Alfons didn’t often get the chance to sleep in, always up before the dawn. It was about to be one of those days again as he prepared to creak open his eyes, only to meet a pair that shimmered a delighted gemstone green.

“Good morning!” Any other cheerful voice would have made his ears ring and his face contort in distaste. But the scrunching up his face did was when she leaned in to kiss him on his nose. The feel of her arms was something he would usually pull out of, do his best to make that gap wider.

But today? Well he didn’t give a damn. And today that was fine.

“How did you sleep?”

“Dreadfully.” He murmured in a husky tone, reaching up with a bare hand tentatively touching her cheek, “Perhaps a little bird will give me the strength to get up and face this awful day.” His fingers nearly reached the nape of her neck before hers laced through his and pinned it to the sheets. His dark eyes widened a fraction at the insistence, but the lips covered his kept him from any complaints. For now, he simply indulged in that tiny selfish voice in his head that he always did his best to stamp out. The worst part of it all was that he couldn’t help but sink into it. Sappy as it sounded, no pleasure came close to the bliss that was being wanted, adored, swathed and coddled in unconditional feelings. And when those gentle lips regrettably parted from his—

“And what brought this on?” His voice left even him a bit shocked at his own breathy sigh.

“I wanted my lover to have a good start his day, I think I might make it a routine, actually…” She tapped her chin thoughtfully, a playful grin on her lips as she leaned over him, long and pale brunette hair like a silky curtain that shielded from that harsh sunlight coming through his window. Her nose scrunched as she beamed over him, one hand still laced with his tightly while the other propped her up as she leaned over him.

He couldn’t help but smile back.

“What a greedy girl.” He murmured, his free hand tucking some of those long locks behind her ear.

One whose greed I simply cannot live without.