#writing everyone's enneagram types have me feeling sad actually

[waiting-on-a-dream]

𝙼𝙱𝚃𝙸, 𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝙼𝚒𝚕𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚌𝚜!

𝙼𝙱𝚃𝙸

Ichiro: INTP (He's curious about the world, despite getting stuck in his own head and losing track of time often. He gets many ideas but forgets them just as easily. He doesn't care much for what people think about him, but goes along with the flow so nobody will be unhappy (he probably doesn't care about the topic either but that's besides the point). He's also really detached from his own emotions, and finds it hard to empathize with other people.)

Akane: ESFP (She's really focused on her surroundings and is often experiencing everything that's happening around her, never missing a single detail unlike Ichiro. She also has a good grasp of her emotions and has a strong moral code, hence why she's often so angry with other people who look away. However, knowing that she's angry doesn't help control her emotions that well. She doesn't like being a bad mood, but she doesn't know how to manage her feelings properly.)

Daisuke: ESTP (Like Akane, he also pays attention to his surroundings well. He's always up and about, flitting from one exciting activity to the next. He also likes to think about things in a logical way and doesn't care about the morality of what he's doing as much (his job, cough). However, he has FE as his third function, so he's not completely terrible at navigating social and emotional situations. In fact, he's quite good at utilizing his emotional manipulation.)

Suzume: INFJ (She has a bad habit of always having her head in the clouds and worrying about the future. She mostly gets by with life through her intuitive gut feeling, which hasn't failed her so far. She also wants everyone to get along and will sacrifice her thoughts and feelings in order to go with the majority, to the point where she might put on a mask for someone if they want her to act a certain way.)

Haku: ISTJ (He tends to relate his past experiences to present circumstances, where his memories are used as a frame of reference to build ideas about how the world is and how it works. Whatever has been established to work well, he'll keep going with that until another solution is required. He's reasonable and rational, but has enough emotional intelligence not to rub most people off the wrong way.)

Yui: ESFJ (Her decisions and opinions are heavily influenced by her interactions with other people, as well as cultural and societal norms. She's friendly, sensitive and empathetic, always willing to help other people whenever she can. She also tends to act and respond in patterned ways that have been proven to work in the past, not willing to step out of her comfort zone most of the time.)

Rin: ISFP (He's sensitive and very aware of his inner emotional state, having a bad habit of being self-centered and aloof often. He only does what seems right to him, and doesn't enjoy being told that he's "wrong". Like most teenagers, he's trying to form his own identity while still gaining approval from his peers (its hard to do both). He also pays a lot of attention to his surroundings, concentrating on living in the moment instead of planning ahead.)

Noa: INFP (She's sensitive and empathetic, unfortunately jaded and anxious from bad experiences in her past. She used to be an idealistic dreamer when she was younger, but she knows now that she was just naïve and unaware of the world. She's also speculative and creative. Her NE allows her to see patterns everywhere, jumping from one thought to another as each item reminds her of something else.)

Kiyoshi: ENFJ (Like Yui, he's friendly and helpful to everyone he meets. He feels a sense of responsibility over people in a humanitarian way, and often sacrifices his own thoughts and feelings to keep up the peace in a group setting. He makes sure to plan ahead in life, but ends up relying on his instincts to guide him more often than not. Its okay, his gut instincts rarely fail him!)

Mayumi: INTJ (She worries a lot about many things, always stuck in that chaotic head of hers. Even though she thinks so much, she finds it very hard to voice her thoughts in a way that others will understand. How frustrating. She might be anxious often, that doesn't necessarily make her an emotional wreck though. She's actually quite level-headed when the situation calls for it, making reasonable and rational judgements every time without fail.)

Haruto: ENTP (He has a speculative and creative intellect, seeing patterns and connections everywhere to make a bigger picture. Whether or not he chooses to share his vision is another thing. He also prefers to think about things objectively and logically, questioning many things he comes across. Like Daisuke, he's also perfectly capable of tapping into his emotional intelligence.)

𝙴𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖

Ichiro: 5w6 (sp/sx)

His self-preservation instinct manifests in his tendency of retreating into his head to think, hence why he's so detached from reality. He's hesitant to do something if he isn't sure how it'll go, leading him to observe life from a distance instead of participating in it. His six wing causes him to feel alone and incapable without outside support, and he wants to feel safe with the people that he trusts. But he's primarily a type 5, so despite wanting attention from the people that he likes, he ends up minimizing his needs to avoid having them think he's too needy.

His social instinct comes in second because of his natural curiosity towards the world, wanting to learn more despite being so detached from it. He also finds comfort in knowing the acceptable boundaries of how to act through "authority figures" such as: his mom, Haruto and the other adults in Milgram. Because they're supposed to know more than him, he automatically trusts most authority figures and what they tell him.

Akane: 6w5 (sx/sp)

Her sexual instincts manifest in her tendency to appear bold and fierce in order to protect herself from any threats. Sexual sixes have the mentality of "the best defense is a good offense", and Akane is no exception. Her constant anger isn't a façade per say, but it stems mostly from her fear of getting or being allowed to get hurt. She would also like to have someone to rely on, but that isn't her main priority. Her sexual 5 tendencies manifest in her distrust of people instead, constantly analyzing and testing them to find out if they're any threat to her. Her guard is always up.

She doesn't trust any authority around her (they've all failed her so far), but she can't help the small feeling of hope that they'll help her every time. They're the authorities, so they should care about her and want to help, right? Right? She also doesn't pay much attention to anyone she doesn't like, as they tend to make her angry and that isn't good for anyone. If someone can connect with her and/or hold a conversation with her without pissing her off though, she's surprisingly loyal once she gets attached.

Daisuke: 7w6 (sp/so)

His self-preservation instinct manifests in his characteristics of being practical, opportunistic, and good at networking. He likes the sense of banding together with trusted others in which he knows he'll be looked after. Its funny. He fears being completely reliant on others, yet wants to be able to rely on someone. His six wing further emphasizes his need for support. His morals are questionable, but he still seeks friendly connections and alliances. And to do this he projects a friendly, trustworthy, and supportive persona as good allies are supposed to be.

Daisuke imagines having something better than his bleak reality sometimes, but only sometimes. He's not enough of a dreamer to be so idealistic. He has a flair for being dramatic, and exaggerates good effects when trying to rope in clients, but that's about it. His romantic side likes to sneak out in the presence of a certain someone though. He isn't as aggressive as Akane (sexual 6 wing), but he does tend to feign calmness in the face of "danger". He's good at not showing it, but he's actually quite scared most of the time.

Suzume: 9w8 (so/sx)

Her social instinct manifests in her tendency to work hard to support the people she cares for and prioritize the group’s needs above her own. This is due to the feeling that she doesn't actually belong among the people she cares for, so she overcompensates by being generous and sacrificing whatever is necessary to meet the needs of the group in order for a sense of belonging. She is also very focused on protecting her loved ones but has a hard time expressing vulnerability and emotions. 

Its hard to live in such a harsh and cruel world, but she is able to find a sense of comfort through the satisfaction of physical needs. Enjoyable activities like eating, reading, watching television, and even sleeping get her from one day to the next. As long as she focuses on the present instead of the daunting future, she'll be fine. Her 8 wing allows her to be good at making things happen. When she wants something, she most certainly will work hard to get it! She just needs to actually want something first.

Haku: 5w4 (sp/so)

Like Ichiro, he tends to keep to himself and learn about the world through observing rather than participating. While Ichiro has garnered a love for drawing, he has a passion for music, specifically piano. His 4 wing is where he differs from Ichiro's enneagram type. A type 4's greatest sin is "envy", and Haku tends to compare himself to others in terms of music capability. He actually isn't that talented when it comes to playing the piano, but he makes up for it through hard work. Still, he can't help being jealous of others who seem to get by without having to suffer as much as him. There's no point in whining about it though, so he learns to endure everything with a stoic face.

Sexual fives live for a kind of ideal connection, always searching for someone who they can trust with all their secrets. They can be said to be romantics in that way. Luckily for Haku, he already has his beloved brother who is always by his side. Everyone else in the world pales in comparison to him. The sexual side of Haku's 4 wing manifests in his competitive streak towards his peers. When it comes to the piano, he hates to lose to anyone else. Even though he isn't as naturally talented as everyone else, its what he's best at. Its an important part of him, and he can't let go of it.

Yui: 4w3 (so/sp)

As a social 4, she tends to feel things deeply and finds it hard to regulate her negative emotions. A part of her wants her suffering to be recognized and understood, but she also fears displaying such vulnerability to the potential of being rejected. To compensate for this innate sadness, she projects the exact opposite image. She's flourishing and beautiful and popular, liked by everyone. Her smile will surely outshine her shadow.

She also often feels competitive towards other idols in the industry, especially those that seem to be better than her. She can't stand the thought of being forgotten in someone else's shadow, so she works hard to shine in her own right. Its not always about her though! She likes to see her loved ones flourish as well, and will often work hard in support of the people she cares for. There's a special kind of pride she feels when her loved ones are acknowledged after improving with her help.

Rin: 1w2 (so/sp)

As a social 1, he is highly idealistic and driven by an internal sense of morality. He strictly believes in rules and responsibility, hence why he takes pinky promises so seriously. He can be nitpicky and stubborn, causing him to feel separate from his peers because he struggles to find someone he can totally relate to. Even though he finds most people annoying, he quickly grows attached to anyone who treats him nicely. He's a hard worker with the occasional competitive streak, wanting to stand out and make an impact within whatever group he's joined (his school's science club).

He often feels that he knows the “right” way to do things, and will get frustrated at those who don't follow his views. Its not that he believes in perfection, but there's a certain standard that everyone should live up to. He can't understand people who fuss over trivial things that don't amount to anything in the end. Once someone manages to befriend him, he'll give lots of attention to them, wanting to be their best friend just as they are his. He gets lonely quite often actually, and isn't good at letting go of people.

Noa: 4w5 (so/sx)

Similar to Yui, she's sensitive and has a bleak outlook on life and the world as a whole. Its as if she was born to be sad, and she can't help but feel as if life isn't worth living most of the time. She tries not to burden others with her depressing thoughts and feelings, but it feels good to let the weight off her back once in a while. A part of her fears that her loved ones will start seeing her differently once she shares too much though. These feelings might be born from her tendency to live in her own head, filled with romantic ideals of a better world with better people. She was never one for mundane, ordinary life, how could she be? The books and movies she watches are much more interesting, and they often make her wish she was living in another world instead.

Her self-preservation instinct tries its best to make her not seem like an utter failure. Others will surely be annoyed at her whining, so she should just keep these messy feelings to herself. This inner conflict only causes her turmoil most of the time. Her 5 wing also causes her to have a need for clearly defined boundaries, to have a place of safety she can retreat to to avoid feeling lost in the world. Even though she wants to, its hard to voice her thoughts sometimes. Especially with the potential of rejection.

Kiyoshi: 2w3 (so/sp)

He's obviously a social 2 with him being the helpful and responsible leader type. He wants to help people and preserve the peace of the community, and is ambitious in pursuing any goals he sets for himself. Everyone who knows him admires him for his accomplishments, he's a role model for his community after all. A part of him needs everybody's admiration and respect as a way of earning a sense of belonging in his community. His parents are very active in the community as well, so he's learned that people who go out of their way to help others are always well loved and accepted. He makes sure to live up to everyone's expectations.

He also strives to forge intimate connections with others. It'd be nice to have some close friends, to share secrets with others and to be shared with. But he wants to be approved of and liked so much that he is willing to agree to anything someone says. He doesn't even realize that he says whatever the other wants to hear until hours after the conversation. Because he tries so hard to be good and perfect, he doesn't know how to react to criticism. He also goes out of his way to support others, particularly his loved ones. He wants everyone to get their own chance to shine!

Mayumi: 1w9 (so/sx)

Similar to Rin, she believes that everyone has a certain standard to love up to and responsibilities that they must fulfill. She strives to be the perfect example to others by living according to the rules and portraying correct conduct. She has a strong moral compass and bad habit of judging others in secret (she tries not to). However, she's more peaceful and compromising compared to Rin, as she doesn't want to offend or cause trouble for anyone. She works selflessly for the group without desire to be in the spotlight or be heaped with praise, simply being part of a meaningful group of people means the most to her.

Her self-preservation instinct manifests in her tendency to be plagued by worry in her daily life. She wants to be prepared when things go wrong, and will put in a lot effort into making sure her life is in order. Despite her anxiety and annoyance whenever things don't go smoothly, she still strives to live a calm and peaceful life. This means that she is practical and routine-oriented, trying her best to focus on the present and find ways to make her environment more enjoyable and comfortable.

Haruto: 8w7 (sp/so)

He doesn't have to worry about such things as a prison warden in Milgram, but he actually has a strong need to obtain what he needs for survival. He has a sort of ruthlessness in going after what he wants and finding ways to get around people who might stand in his way. He's efficient and calculating, but not entirely cold-hearted. His 7 wing also helps him with being opportunistic and good at networking, qualities that are always good to have for survival. He believes in strength in numbers, so being friendly and forming alliances with others is important to him. Even more so when he comes across someone who can help him in achieving his goals. Perhaps he struggled a lot before Milgram.

His sexual instinct has him being distrustful of rules and not afraid to go against the grain of convention. He's found himself in a strange place with no memory of anything before, so he's always uneasy despite being in the "highest position of authority" in Milgram. He wants to be in control of himself and his environment, and gaining more information is the only way to do so at the moment. His optimistic 7 wing keeps him in good spirits despite his uneasiness, and he tends to be impulsive because of it, much to the chagrin of some prisoners. Planning, improvising, envisioning – these are the things that occupy his time.

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜

Ichiro

Gender preference: None. He'd probably grow feelings for anyone within his age range that treats him nicely.

Giving:

Gift giving - Its a nice way to show his affection without coming off as too clingy. He tends to dedicate and give his drawings to the people close to him. Drawing is his hobby, and he's quite good at it so he thinks his drawings are a good gift for his loved ones. He'll also pick up anything that he thinks his loved ones would like. Flowers, keychains, food, smooth pebbles for paperweights (that he paints first), you name it.

Quality time - When he likes someone, he wants to spend time with them (isn't it like that for everyone?). He'll try his best to pay attention when they're talking or trying to show him something. Compared to the way he usually ignores other people, his preference for someone can be quite obvious over time.

Receiving:

Quality time - As long as he can be doing the same activity as his loved one, he's happy (like a cat). The amount of attention they're willing to give him is how he measures their feelings towards him actually. If they don't want to spend time with him, that must mean that they don't care about him.

Words of affirmation - He has mommy issues, so of course he wants to be called a good boy. But seriously, compliments and kind words will have him curling into a ball of happiness. He doesn't believe in lies, so he thinks that any words of affection towards him is true. He likes being reminded that he's loved.

Akane

Gender preference: None. She's giving pansexual vibes actually.

Giving:

Acts of service - She's used to doing all the chores around the house, so doing the same thing for someone she actually cares about shouldn't be a problem. She isn't very good at cooking, but she'll practice if she wants to impress someone- He first-aid skills are quite good from experience, so she'll insist on patching up the wounds of her loved ones whenever she has the chance. She's not happy about them getting hurt or anything like that! She just likes having the opportunity to show her care for them.

Quality time - She's never had someone genuinely care about her before, but he wishes she had someone to talk to often. She's very picky about who she spends her time with, but when he likes someone, she'll go out of her way to seek them out. Who would've thought? Even a tsundere like her wants love.

Receiving:

Gift giving - Her father is a good-for-nothing, and a high school girl is only able to rake in so much income, so she doesn't have much to herself. Practical items like food, bandages, clothes and stationary are the fastest way to her heart. She'll find a way to repay the giver because she doesn't like feeling indebted to people, but she appreciates the gesture all the same.

Words of affirmation - She is so weak to compliments. Butter her up a little and she'll be a flustered blushing mess. Its nice hearing her loved ones tell her that she's pretty cool, okay? Especially after the things her father and teachers have said to her.

Daisuke

Gender preference: None. Bisexual disaster at his finest.

Giving:

Physical touch - He's a touchy guy, even towards people he just met as long as they don't seem to mind (most of the time). If he likes someone, he'll definitely be draping himself over them a lot like a sloth. If he likes someone, he'll be thinking of kissing them so much its embarrassing. Even he gets embarrassed about it.

Gift giving - A part of him gives gifts in hopes that the receiver will think of him whenever they look at or use the gift, like a little reminder of his affection for them. But for the most part, he has money and he likes spending it on the people he cares for.

Receiving:

Quality time - His parents were often busy, so he was quite lonely in his childhood. Its easy to arrange for meetups with friends now that he's an adult, so that's exactly what he does. He'll do the same for anyone he has feelings for too. He doesn't call it a date, the potential of rejection is too much. He just wants to spend time with the people that he likes, preferably doing something fun.

Physical touch - Is he touch starved? Any skin contact makes him happy actually, even if its a little rough. Maybe he's just a masochist. Cuddling is his favourite, especially with his special someone playing with his hair. Not that he's ever had a special someone cuddle him... But its nice to dream about.

Suzume

Gender preference: None. I'm getting bisexual vibes from her too.

Giving:

Acts of service - Her main method of showing her love is easy to overlook, hence why she feels she isn't good at loving. Doing the chores, remembering important things for her loved ones, positioning things around the house for convenience... Even though it feels like she's being taken for granted sometimes, its her way of showing her love and she isn't stopping anytime soon.

Quality time - When she cares about someone, she gives them her full attention and tries her best to remember the important details about them. She'll only remember the times she spent with them in the end after all, so why not create as many happy memories with her loved ones as possible?

Receiving:

Quality time - She's really happy when her loved ones talk to her or do an activity with her. Watching a movie together is one of her favourite activities to do her loved ones actually. She gets to enjoy the movie with them, and then discuss it with them afterwards.

Words of affirmation - She's the type of person to hear "I love you" a thousand times over and still not get tired of it. Same goes for compliments and reassurances. She just has to hear it with her own ears even if they're lies and she'll be alright.

Haku

Gender preference: None. He isn't interested in dating, but he probably has the capacity to be attracted to people.

Giving:

Acts of service - His way of showing love is quiet. He's already a responsible older brother, so doing chores and offering massages to his parents is normal for him to do. Helping his brother talk to others is a loving act of service as well. His parents tell him he coddles his brother too much, but he can't help it.

Gift giving - He tends to buy snacks, flowers and little trinkets for his loved ones like a cat bringing its spoils to its master. Whatever he thinks they'd like. Learning to play piano songs that they like seems to be a gift rather than an act of service, so I'll put it here. He also leaves the portion of his meals that his brother likes for the other to eat, another example of him spoiling his brother too much.

Receiving:

Quality time - He just likes being around his loved ones. He could be in the same room as them, doing separate things, and he'd still consider it quality time. Of course its more special when they're doing an activity together though. He especially loves the music related activities, it feels more meaningful to him.

Physical touch - His family members are quite touchy actually. His dad pats his head frequently, his mom often squishes his cheeks, and his brother is always clinging to him. Since physical touch is their giving love language, he's likely adapted to receive it. He's quite picky with who touches him though.

Yui

Gender preference: Male. She thinks girls are cute, but isn't interested in dating them?

Giving:

Words of affirmation - She can't help but want to blurt out all the nice things she can think of about her loved ones. When someone mentions them, she automatically goes on a spiel about how amazing they are. She has to stop herself from ranting for too long most of the time. Shell praise compliment her loved ones face-to-face plenty too. And she means every word.

Physical touch - its hard to hide when she's feeling clingy. She loves hugging her loved ones, throwing an arm over their shoulders and tucking her chin onto the crook of their necks. She especially loves playing with their hair, no matter the length.

Receiving:

Quality time - Having her loved ones want to spend time with her is a surefire way to cheer her up during a bad day because she finds their presence comforting. She just needs them to sit with her. It lets her know that they don't find her annoying? Its a silly thought, she tries to shit it down every time it pops up.

Words of affirmation - Receiving compliments always improves her self-esteem. When she's feeling down, a few compliments is sure to get her mood back to normal in no time. She turns into a flustered mess when showered in kind words too.

Rin

Gender preference: Female

Giving:

Gift giving - He likes to treat his loved ones to snacks and buy little gifts for them. He doesn't receive that much pocket money, but he still insists on buying things for his loved ones because it makes him happy to see them happy with their gifts. He looks forward to special occasions like Mother's day and Valentine's day to be used as excuses to buy gifts for his loved ones.

Quality time - He likes seeing and interacting with the people that he likes! He can actually get antsy and restless when he hasn't been able to interact with his loved one(s) for too long. Like that time his parents went on a week-long trip for their anniversary. He was fidgeting while waiting for them at the airport.

Receiving:

Quality time - He tends to measure how much his loved ones love him based on how much time they spend with him. And he has a bad habit of taking it personally when they're too busy to spend time with him. It isn't that hard to hang out with him though. Most of the time he just wants to share a meal or read together.

Acts of service - He can sometimes forget to take care of himself when he's engrossed in his work, so its really nice when his loved one runs him a hot bath or brings him a snack while he's working. Little acts like that never fail to make his heart melt.

Noa

Gender preference: Male

Giving:

Physical touch - She can't help but want to feel her loved ones with her hands. Ruffling her brothers' hair, holding her mother's hand, hugging her beloved husband. There's something comforting about being able to feel their skin against hers. It grounds her, reminds her that they're here and alive. Is that weird?

Quality time - She isn't very busy, so she has plenty of time to spend on her loved ones. If her loved ones have something to show her, she's sure to give them her full attention! Any time spend sharing love for each other is quality time for her.

Receiving:

Words of affirmation -She tends to feel down sometimes, but little words of support and reassurance always help to pick her back up. Sometimes she just wants to be distracted and will ask them to ramble about something instead. She finds her loved ones' voices soothing, so they serve as good distractions.

Quality time - Since she likes spending time with her loved ones, she feels loved when they want to spend time with her too. She feels rather honored when her loved ones share something special to them with her actually. That means they trust her enough to share something close to them. How wonderful.

Kiyoshi

Gender preference: Female

Giving:

Acts of service - He wants his loved ones to be safe and comfortable at all times, so if there's anything he can do for them, he'll do his best to help them. Especially his beloved parents. He's a reliable assistant for his father while working, and frequently brews relaxing teas for his mother.

Gift giving - He likes to buy fancy and expensive gifts for his loved one on special occasion. Watches, fruit baskets, decorative items they're sure to like. His mother has a fondness for flowers, so he makes sure to buy a bouquet every Mother's day. He just loves seeing the look of joy on his loved ones' faces when they receive something they like. He can't get enough of it.

Receiving:

Physical touch - He's used to being touched a lot as a kid. His parents hugged him often, and his elderly neighbours liked to pinch his cheeks. They still do it even though he's all grown up now. Not that he's complaining! He quite likes the attention.

Acts of service - He's always making sure everyone else is taken care of, so who will take care of him? Sometimes he gets so engrossed on his work that he forgets about his own needs. Just having his loved one check in on him gives him enough motivation to keep going (and remind him to eat something).

Mayumi

Gender preference: Male

Giving:

Acts of service - She's more of a practical person, so she'd rather do something useful for her loved ones rather then profess her care with words. For her, talk is cheap. So she doesn't mind doing extra chores and cooking meals and such.

Gift giving - Another practical way of showing love that Mayumi prefers. She's known to knit sweaters for the children living in the hospital she works at, and her mother is always happy to receive more cooking equipment. Basically, she prefers to get things for the people she cares about that they will use.

Receiving:

Quality time - She's busy with her job as a nurse, so she treasures the precious moments spent with her loved ones. Even time spent doing chores with her mother is treasured by her. But she prefers activities like having a conversation over a shared meal.

Acts of service - She's very tired at the end of every day, so it'd be nice to be taken care of for a while. A simple cup of tea is enough to get her spirits up most of the time. She also tends to misplace her things quite often, so having someone help her to look for it and bring it to her would be really helpful.

Haruto

Gender preference: Both, both are good.

Giving:

Acts of service - He has traces of responsibility in him (likely from his past) and is always helping the people he care about feel comfortable. He's the kind of person that always has to be doing something, and that translates to his love language as well.

Words of affirmation - He tends to casually compliment the people he cares about, usually with a lighthearted tone. It just slips out so easily for him, he hardly has to think about it. The ever meaningful "I love yous" are saved for special occasions though.

Receiving:

Words of affirmation - Compliments and praises make him so happy! They inflate his ego too but we don't talk about that. If someone likes him, they must think he's pretty cool and want to voice it, right? He knows lots of people don't operate like that, but he wants to hear proof of their love from their lips. At least once in a while. That shouldn't be too hard for them if they love him.

Acts of service - Its nice to have things done for him. Even better if his loved ones is proactive about it! He's sure to do the same for them, so its only fair. The little things like being brought a drink and having his hair dried really makes his day!

[autisticempathydaemon]

For the matchups /np <3

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

At the moment it’s Vienna by Billy Joel, ‘she’s always a woman’ is one of my favourites ever and Vienna just hits right as I feel like I’m behind a lot of the friends that I grew up with atm. (My fave parts are ‘you’re so ahead of yourself that you’ve forgot what you need’ and ‘ you can’t be everything you wanna be before your time’.

What is your Enneagram type?

I don’t know my enneagram sorry but I know my personality type is ENFP if that’s any help :)

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

Funnily enough he was a dog, like I used to just imagine I had a dog and he’d follow me around, sometimes he’d talk and sometimes he wouldn’t and he was named after ‘Balto’ from the animated movie.

What is your go to way to fall asleep?

I don’t really have one, I usually end up waking up not remembering falling asleep in the first place. I basically just wait until I’m tired enough for it just happen.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

Although I wouldn’t like to change my first name, as I think it suits me, I did change my last name to my Grandma’s maiden name after she’d told me she was sad that she couldn’t keep it when she married my grandad.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

I feel awful about this one, but Guy. I don’t dislike him or anything but I’m also not necessarily excited when he gets an upload. I’m also not sure why, he just doesn’t hit the same for me as he seems to do for a lot of other people.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

Fantastic Mr Fox. I love it, I love the framing and the colours and the characters. They’re all very ‘human’ in different ways and the moment between Foxy and Felicity near the waterfall is so relatable I want to eat it.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

SO MANY. Like the entire D.A.M.N squad. I love all the characters and I don’t mind anger but if Damien directed it at me I’d get defensive and that wouldn’t make for a good couple. Gavin, I wouldn’t really like my partner flirting with other people, Huxley I enjoy hiking but simply can’t picture myself dating him because he’s with Damien etc etc

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

The signal for me being tired is actually that I go very quiet/ not talkative. But if I was to ramble about something it would probably just be about things that had happened irl, old funny story’s and stuff (or whatever fandoms I’m in at the time depending on who I’m with).

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

Red Bull. Always Red Bull. 🧎🏻

Extra’s: My favourite colour is green. I love movies, reading/writing and animals. I’m a Libra. My love languages are acts of service and physical touch but again, depending on the person.

Thank you!

As always, I love it when I am given so much information to work with! You seem so lovely and agreeable, it’s hard to think with whom you wouldn’t work well. Somehow, the “loving animals” bit convinced me, because what’s better for an animal lover than our beloved beta boy who can turn into a wolf on a whim?

Asher strikes me as the type of guy who works best with someone like himself. He works well with everyone, by his nature, but you and he would have so many similarities that being together would be wonderfully easy. It’s the big things like your extroverted natures and your compatible love languages. Yet it’s also the little things like your shared love of hiking and caffeinated battery acid (I say affectionately as a Strawberry Apricot Red Bull fiend).

You’d be the sort of couple who operate like well-oiled cogs of a machine, like one of you was a telepath, that’s how naturally you communicate and maneuver around each other. It’s a wonderfully comfortable, joyful life that the two of you have. There’s lots of alternating days of him showing you Halo and you showing him new, interesting movies, countless lectures from David about y’all having to drink something not poisoned with taurine, and so, so much love.

Song:

I confess, I messed up/ Dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around/ And I know you're dressed up/ Hey kid you'll never live this down/ You're just the girl all the boys want to dance with/ And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances

I’ve just got to give the boy a FOB song, you must understand; I also think it’s a really fun choice for y’all. I love the movie references, the fun, boppy tempo, the dramatic, theatrical way Asher would fall to his knees on the kitchen floor as he belts it out at you in true, emo kid fashion. It’s infectious, and you would be helpless to either sing or headbang along.

Runner-ups:

This was hard. Again, I feel like you could pair well with just so many people; narrowing it down to two was an ordeal. In the end, I like Anton for you because you two contrast in a lot of the ways you and Asher compare. Also, I chose Sam as a runner-up for you because you two hiking together would be really cute. Also, You/Sam is giving kind of David/Asher but in another font, and I love Dasher /lh

note: thank you so much for waiting 💕

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[n1kolaiz]

"Man fears death and yet, at the same time, man is drawn to death. Death is endlessly consumed by men in cities and in literature. It is a singular event in one's life that none may reverse. That is what I desire."

Character Analysis: Dazai Osamu

Age: 22 || Ability: No Longer Human

I've done a lot of research concerning Dazai's character because of how complex he'd initially appeared to me. It is still a question as to what his personality type is; some say he's an ENTP while others argue that he's an INTJ, and his enneagram would most likely be 7w8 (The Realist), but that isn't the thing I'm going to focus on.

According to general databases and fan analyses, his temperament is dominantly melancholic. A person's temperament is basically how they react to and live in this world. For those of you not interested in such details, don't worry, I'll get to my point.

The melancholic behaviour is characterised by individualism, self-reliance, and reservation. People of the melancholic temperament are described as having been overcome with sorrow and depressive thoughts, which is beyond the feeling of "just being sad."

Nonetheless, they are generally calm beings, with a tendency to hide how they truly feel by keeping their composure, even in events that demand severe reaction otherwise. Other aspects of melancholic temperaments is that they are absorbed in the cruelty and tragedy of this world, and tend to get lost in their thoughts.

Sound familiar?

Dazai is seen to be as the comic relief of the adaptation, and he'd never fail to bring about a sense of lightheartedness to relieve the serious moments; we all know that for sure. Remember the time both him and Kunikida found Nobuko Sasaki in that godforsaken hospital, and how Kunikida asked him about his opinion on the current state of affairs?

But, despite having developed a calm and serene personality, Dazai's dark side was more apparent during the Dark Era. There was a type of intimidating and arrogant flair evident in his behaviour, or even on his face. It was the type of demeanour that came off cold and terrifying to the rather unlucky people he dealt with. In a moment's notice, they could literally die by his hands. And I believe most of them usually did. It was during this time, he was more brutal and vicious. He lacked remorse. Plus, Dazai's suicidal ideations were more dense during this Era, and his suicidal tendencies did not do anything to alleviate the depth of how dark his character was posed to be.

Side note: Unfortunately, people misunderstand this 'depressed' part of Dazai; they minimise his character so much to the point that people use only a single word to describe him: suicidal. He is, in fact, so much more than that. I'll elaborate more on that in a while.

"Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia? I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that… I would be able to find something—a reason to live."

Dazai's approach to life is that of an aimless soul, weary of the world's oppressions and exhausted from the concept of living itself. Nevertheless, what he said above about having an expectation made me realise something: he had a goal, which he wasn't that enthusiastic about achieving—seeking for a reason to carry on with life. So he joined the Mafia.

And there, he met Oda Sakunosuke.

Despite how resilient Dazai carried himself to be (especially during the Dark Era), this specific excerpt stands in direct opposition of how he effortlessly embodied all things daunting:

"With every step I take, I feel as though the earth has opened up into a bottomless pit as I fall endlessly. As Dazai pointed to his forehead and approached the muzzle, the look on his face – like that of a child about to burst into tears – had already been branded upon my eyes."

- quoted by Oda Sakunosuke, excerpt from Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era Light Novel.

When I read this, it sent my mind into a spiral of despair and confusion. It was so vague, yet it made so much sense. Dazai was desperate to escape from this life, but part of him seemed to live in conflict with his desire for death. I won't elaborate more on this, because this specific excerpt has personal meaning to me, as I'd expect it to have for others as well; so I wouldn't want to ruin anyone else's perception on it.

Back to my point: Odasaku was one of the only characters who managed to interpret the complexity of Dazai's mindset and was able to compartmentalise the specific details of his persona that made Dazai the way he was. Oda knew that Dazai wasn't just suicidal.

"For most things in life, it's harder to succeed than fail. Wouldn't you agree? That's why I should attempt suicide rather than commit it! Committing suicide is difficult, but it should be relatively easier to fail at attempting suicide!"

Others boasted about how he was just a suicidal maniac, and that was only because of how good Dazai was at concealing his own feelings whilst flamboyantly priding himself in new, risky techniques, which he sometimes elaborated on. But Oda, on the other hand, saw through his jokes, and empathised with his friend, never wanting to ever barge into his vulnerability without Dazai's permission, but still trying to be there for him.

"Listen. You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be ale to find a reson to live. You won't find it. You should know that. Whether you're on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity."

Notice how Odasaku recognised Dazai's despair, before Dazai even dared to acknowledge his very own emotions? That was why, at Oda's death, he took the initiative to uncover Dazai's bandaged eye to show him that there was no use in concealing his feelings anymore.

Odasaku's last words to Dazai was to "be on the side that saves people," for he was aware that even though Dazai didn't believe there was a clear distinction between good and evil, he thought that perhaps Dazai would find meaning in his life, even if it was just a little bit of purpose.

In Dead Apple, we briefly relive this moment, but I'll write more on that some other time.

And when Dazai joined the ADA, he loses that dark side to him. No, wait, let me rephrase that: he loses a part of that dark side to him. He eliminated the raw sense of bitterness against the world from his face, and instead, he is seen to be a little more passive, and a little more adaptive. No doubt, he still does explicitly state his desire to die, but his wishes are very specific, if you know what I mean.

And a few years later, his journey with Atsushi began.

Atsushi and Dazai's relationship is just one of a kind. I think it isn't a matter of whether Atsushi needed Dazai, or whether Dazai needed Atsushi. It's the fact that they both needed each other. It's the way they both worked hand in hand, and how they sustained each other in ways they were lacking.

The two were polar opposites, but they had a tender kind of warmth embedded in their protectiveness for each other. Atsushi was just as lost as Dazai, but somehow, they worked together just fine. It was like their duality was meant to be. It was the type of symbiotic relationship, where their care for each other was implied, but very deep.

Does this also sound familiar... perhaps, in relation to Dazai's friendship with Odasaku?

Side note: Oda and Atsushi have the same enneagrams, which is Type 2, 'The Helper.'

There is a sort of balance that is brought about by two opposites. Odasaku taught Dazai many things, and I believe Oda learned a lot about a man's life from the way Dazai lived out his life with the innate desire to die. Atsushi sought for the right to live, while Dazai searched for a reason to live; in addition, Dazai validated Atsushi's feelings, and Atsushi was able to acknowlegde the amount of pain Dazai was going through.

Despite how Dazai's perspectives and beliefs stood in contrast with those of Oda's and Atsushi's, a type of inseparable bond connected the man who no longer felt like he was human, to the people who was the most human.

No Longer Human in the Japanese romaji is 'Ningen Shikkaku.' Ningen means "human," and Shikkaku means "disqualified." The late author, Dazai Osamu, wrote the book No Longer Human. He had gone through the rough throes of trauma and wrote this book as a semi-autobiography, whose plot was centred around a man who faked happiness, for he was tainted by the truth that everyone around him was fake themselves. He turned his life into a joke in order to protect himself from the delusions of this world.

This brings us back to the melancholic temperament, where a person was too deeply immersed in the sad truths of reality and the world itself.

And that's what Dazai's character and ability is based on: being disqualified as a human being, because he wasn't well-versed with what being human was actually like. The fabrications of being human sprung up all around him, but he wasn't willing to be fooled by how ingenuine the world truly was.

“I am convinced that human life is filled with many pure, happy, serene examples of insincerity, truly splendid of their kind—of people deceiving one another without (strangely enough) any wounds being inflicted, of people who seem unaware even that they are deceiving one another.”

- excerpt from Dazai Osamu's No Longer Human.

People who don't feel human emotions or don't react to circumstances the way humans do have a variety of ways of explaining how they feel inhuman. They are highly intelligent, which separates them from the average class of humankind, since they've analysed and untangled the truths of life in order to attain understanding, which they value above all else. But, this understanding of the world and its painful truths results in a deep kind of sorrow, which only a few people can seem to empathise with in order to help them out with that burden.

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”

-excerpt from Fyodor Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment.

Don't you think that this deep sorrow that lies in the heart of the intelligent, makes them the most human of all? They're too human, to the point where they don't feel human. Perhaps, it is a type of defence mechanism, where the mind numbs the heart from feeling normal human emotion, because logically breaking down such concepts is easier than feeling them. But it comes at a price. The heart is willing to recklessly comprehend and fathom any sort of emotion, including pain in its true form, but the mind bears more pain in understanding such concepts because it seeks to decipher every single agonising detail of how complex human emotions are. The mind thinks, the heart feels. There is a clear distinguishing factor between the two. Whether feeling hurts more than thinking, or thinking hurts more than feeling, or whether both these processes work hand-in-hand to make up the reality of life itself, is up for an individual to decide.

Only a few people can seem to empathise with intelligent people who are deeply sad at heart, in order to help them out. As for Dazai, it was Atsushi and Oda. They never took away the pain, but they made him grow from it; it worked vice versa, too.

Of course, there are less tedious and more appealing aspects to the concept of Dazai's intelligence. Dazai was seen as a threat to his enemies because of how manipulation and his keen skill of deduction made up how sharp his mind was. Besides, no one could commit '138 murders, 312 cases of extortion, and 625 cases of fraud, along with various and sundry other crimes,' without having a certain level of intelligence, right?

Dazai had the moral alignment of 'chaotic neutral.' He was more focused on using his intellect to achieve the desired end results of a predicament, and he wasn't afraid to use the wrong means. A famous example was when he deflated the airbags of Ango Sakaguchi's car in order to gain the assured protection of Kyouka Izumi.

Justice is a weapon. It can be used to cause harm, but it cannot protect or save others.

Another example was when he blew up Chuuya Nakahara's car.

Just kidding. That was just a simple pastime (；・∀ ・)

His moral alignment points to what Oda said about him: the part where he mentioned that Dazai didn't really see any difference between good and evil. As long as his ends were achieved, especially if it were in the benefit of his fellow colleagues, he wasn't afraid to exploit, threaten, or endanger others' wellbeing. Because, at the end of the day, the end result triumphed the morally bad methods utilised to achieve it, correct? He always had a reason for his motives and actions, even if those actions were evil and inexcusable.

(eg. action: the psychological abuse he bestowed upon Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

motive: to enable him to hone his own ability favourably and to curb his arrogance)

But the consequences of one's actions will always catch up with a person, no matter what heights they've achieved.

Okay, we're reaching the end of my rambling very soon, I promise.

“If I had to go, I’d like to go out just as beautifully.”

“I’d prefer you don’t go.”

This part of the post is highly inspired by iwachuwu!!

An important factor of Dazai's development is highlighted BSD Wan's episode 10:

I'd like to appreciate that this scene focuses on how much Dazai actually means to Atsushi. When Atsushi responds with "I'd prefer you don't go," he said it lightheartedly for he thought Dazai was joking. But he wasn't. And once Atsushi absorbed the fact that Dazai meant what he said, he was overwhelmed with anguish at the thought of ever losing Dazai. Dazai, on the other hand, had a sense of longing on his expression. There was that look of pure desperation on his face. He was so desperate, yet he knew he couldn't act on his desperation due to a promise he'd made to someone dear to him. But keep in mind, Dazai is unpredictable, so we can never be sure of what's going on in that headspace of his.

Nevertheless, this time, Atsushi recognised Dazai's suffering, as no one usually cared to do, and Dazai didn't put in any effort to hide how he truly felt, as he habitually did. And this mutual emotional connection happened countless times during all the times Oda spent with Dazai as well.

To summarise,

Dazai's character had been carefully wired and patterned out in a way only a few would put in the effort to understand. Dazai was more than just suicidal; he was a being wandering from place to place with no specific aim. He was too smart for his own good. Dazai understood too well of how the world worked and deemed it void of any sort of hope.

Side note: Yes, the truth does come at a price, but it all comes down to how a person understands the truth. As for Dazai (both character and the author he was based off upon), well, it was quite tragic. But that's the way it is for some people, I suppose. But everyone has a different path to travel on, remember that.

His transition from working with the Port Mafia to the Armed Detective Agency was proof of how well-executed his character development was. It was two different personas morphed into what he is today: a womaniser with questionable morals a person who is still standing even after the rough refining process endowed upon him by the realities of this life.

However, he had people along the way come and teach him a thing or two, which perhaps made his life a little more interesting. Perhaps these people were passing clouds that hid the void out of sight for just a moment, and Dazai was always seen to be grasping on to these moments, and letting them go whenever it was time to let go.

His outlook on life makes his intellect look all the more intriguing. It shows that not only does his intelligence contribute to his own wit and shrewdness, but also the practical sense of realism that explains how tired he is of the concept of living because of the truths there are to bear.

However he's enduring the pain right now is by far the most bravest thing a person could commit themselves to doing. It takes courage, and it takes strength, but only a few would ever take the time to recognise such efforts.

Dazai has one of the most beautiful character developments, but I do hope that the development doesn't reach its end anytime soon.

fanart credits: @S7dOZPN3jWBB6cW on twitter

“Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

Everything passes.

That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.

Everything passes.”

excerpt from Dazai Osamu's No Longer Human.

[funkymbtifiction]

How would be social dominant manifest within a type 4? Would it be something like I am completely aware of the social social milieu and social dynamics, but I don't involve myself like the rest of people do. Ugh, not like that? Like being picky about social? How it would be different from a soc-blind 4? I read The instinctual drives and The enneagram, also your page about 4s on your blog, but I still don't understand quite well how the two (4 and soc-dom) interacts. Do you have any other example of social 4 besides Rose from Titanic?

My go-to social 4 is Anna Karenina. She is still aware of how things look and wants/needs to be accepted by society, but also needs to broadcast her true feelings and/or has chronic dissatisfaction with her life. She is never happy, not for one minute, because she is finding something to be upset about, which is the chronic frustration of a 4. When she is with her lover, she wants to be with her absent son; when she is with her son, her husband is a problem; when she is living with her lover abroad, she fixates on being angry that her husband won't give her a divorce; when she thinks she is dying, she wants her husband's forgiveness, and when she lives, she's upset that he forgave her. It's a chronic loop of never embracing the joy of this moment, and always yearning for something just out of reach. But it's still social in that her reputation is ENORMOUSLY important to her, unlike Vronsky, she can't stand being alienated and shunned; she assumes she can go to the opera and be accepted despite the scandal, because other wealthy women are accepted despite theirs, and finds out, to her horror, that she isn't the "same" / they shun her because she was too open about her true feelings. Had she kept her affair a dirty little secret, they would have looked the other way. For a social-dom, their reputation, their connections, their closeness to people, is EVERYTHING, and that is no different for a 4, it's just through a lens of frustration and rejection (nothing is ever good enough / how I wanted it / how it should be).

4 with social is also ultra-picky about who they associate with, of being all about 'quality' and has a tone of elitism -- the Best of Things is not what the Common Folk think it is, and they might become known for this, for having superior tastes while rejecting everything that doesn't fit up to an arbitrary standard.

Also, in the same book I mentioned before and also as a general statement, sx 9s are usually mistyped as 4s, why is it with sx 9s for this to happen? How is it sx the subtype more prone to being 4-ish without all the alienation, specificity of the 4s? Is it because sexual instinct, regardless of the type, looks like image management? For instance, developing a certain flavour to attract (style and physical appearance, creativity, cool interests) would resemble the need of a 4 to differentiate and project an image of a separate and broken individual. Something like that?

Like the characters that are typed on your blog as sx 9s (w1 or w8, and sx/sp or sx/so) don't behave anything like a 4 would do. Maybe those are not the best examples, but I don't see clearly how a sx 9, whom hides behind their ability to attract, can resemble a 4.

It's not because they act like 4s, it's because due to attachment types writing the books and assuming 4s are also attachment types (everyone else is like me), there are a lot of mistyped 9s who think they are 4s who are identifying as 4s and muddying the water, so many of the descriptions about 4s are actually about 9s (moody, deep, sad, melancholy, or the inverse, happy, joyful, sweet). An actual 4, who is a hexad type (non-compliant), is very different from the sweet, merging-into-my-person 9; the sexual 4, in contrast to the sexual 9, is way more aggressive and assertive. The clue in a bad representation of a type is whether it focuses on that type's core center or not -- using rationalization to avoid fears (head), image management (heart), or instinctual energy and anger (gut).

[wamulu-gorillaz]

Halloo idk if you still take reqs but can i get a gorillaz matchup (if you dont take reqs anymore feel free to ignore this ask lol)

• Appearance •

im 5'5, 58kg. I have long black hair (halfway down my back) with bangs and i dyed the underneath teal. Afab (i use she/her)& of south east asian descent (i prefer not to specify)

• personality types thingies •

Aquarius, istp, sanguine, type 7w6 enneagram, love language is quality time, and also im a gryffindor

• style •

for tops i mainly have black and white striped tops and graphic tees, for bottoms i wear black skinny jeans with some rips & some dark green cargo pants, for shoes i wear doc martens and high tops, and lastly for accesories i wear unusual earrings, dog tag necklaces & chokers (not at the same time lol) and i wear black midi rings to match with my dark nail polish

•hobbies•

I like listening to music and spooky stories while i draw/paint and i like to sing to myself bc i aint that confident to let others hear. I watch horror movies and watch people play horror games and like making pretty notes about random knowledge that i will never use

•Likes and Dislikes•

likes: coffee and earl grey tea, Cool weather, Cupnoodles, the colours :violet, navy blue and maroon, people who listens and tries to actually know me

dislikes : touchy people, hot weather, overbearing people, the colours neon green and yellow, overly serious people

•what am i like•

Im generally a chillaxed but cheery type of person, i like to point out the brightside of things to other people. Im shy at first but im very talkative when im comfortable with a person. I dont like to disappoint the people who are close to me so its hard for me to say no. acc. to some they see me as passionate and blunt but really im just lost and i just do what feels right. Im terrible at expressing my emotions via talking soo i just write it out instead.

Anyways this is my first time asking for a matchup req so sorry if its long, idk what and what not to put lol

Anywayss Tysm!! <3

(also, apologies for any grammar and spelling mistakes english is not my first language)

2D!

- Beware! Spooky story sound affects from him whenever you have a story going. But also beware! He might spook himself and that doesn't help anybody ("BOO!" Oh no... no... calm down, there Stuar', we were goin' for spooky, not frickin' diabowlickle - he says to himself)

- Sometimes, to make you feel more at ease with expressing your emotions, he'll hide little letters of affection throughout the house or in your bag. Sometimes, however, it's just random things like 'I'm sad Tottenham didn't score last time they played'

- He also secretly hopes that you dye the underneath of your hair blue like his. He would be over the moon if you did

(Also, you don't need to apologise for your grammar and spelling mistakes! I understood everything. And besides - I can guarantee that everyone whose first language is English makes the same mistakes. If they don't need to apologise, neither should you xx)

[kitkatisinspace]

𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗰 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁

Hello stranger! Welcome to my blog and to my pinned post, in this case. You are probably reading this because you are stalking me or considering to follow me (if you are not you should consider it y'now?), so keep reading. Also if you see this on your dashboard this works better on the "web" blog I don't know how to say it. Like, when you go to the url.com that thing. So go, what are you waiting for?

I'll put a cut because this is infinite. I don't want you to be scrolling till death if you don't want to read. I recommend reading it though. Well, if you're already a mutual you don't have to.

𝓑𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓬 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓪

First off, you can call me Kat! I have my name in the blog title but anyway, it could be useful.

Any pronouns. I'm agender and I don't have preferences for pronouns, so as you like, I don't really mind.

English is NOT my first language, expect a lot of mistakes. I usually check a couple of times what I post, but sometimes I'm too lazy to do it. This post is the best example (I'm not checking and I won't do it).

I get bored easily. That's it that's the point.

I don't know what else to put here, I'm a dumb bitch. What do people even put on these? I'm just improvising, sorry.

𝓐𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓰

Surprise! I don't know how to draw, I don't know how to write and I don't know how to communicate with people! Have I mentioned that my English sucks? No? Well, there you have, then.

I can't be on two fandoms or like two shows at the same time (in this case), so don't expect me to post about anything else that isn't JoJo's. Also, expect tons of shitpost or me just talking about things that happen to me.

Every now and then I post something interesting, but not that much. My two most popular posts are an Araki drawing of Caesar and Joseph and a comment on TikTok about Stardust Crusaders and how fucking sad it is.

I used to talk a lot about DIO. Now I don't do it much, but just wait till I rewatch Stardust Crusaders. My gallery is filled with pics and videos of DIO, just you wait.

Caejose is my current brainrot, but I don't post much about it because I suck at headcanons. I think about old Caesar in Stardust Crusaders a l o t, but I just imagine specific scenarios, so that's why I don't post them (oh shit I just had a déja-vu).

I sometimes post about my dreams, when I'm not too embarrassed of them. I once dreamed with Abbachio poledancing, another one with Bucciarati and me in a jacuzzi and the last one I had I was hiding with Caesar in some secret place, I don't remember the context. My dreams are elite I don't care what y'all say.

I love tag and ask games, so feel free to tag me. I'm bored 80% of the day. If you like you can leave a random ask, I don't mind. Actually, I like random asks. Do it.

Also, I have like "sections" of my blog, like tags. "Kat draws" where I... post my sketches???, "Kat is mad" where I just post random stuff I'm mad at, "Kat kats"... I don't know what this is about it's me in my most pure state, that's why it's called "kats". I had to invent a verb.

If you see this tag ":]" on a post (most likely to be sth about DIO), hell is going to unleash on the rest of the tags. You can check it for yourself just by searching it on my profile.

Everyone is welcomed here and I want y'all to feel safe on my blog, unless...

𝓓𝓸 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽...

(I have to fix this part but it's 1 am I'll do it tomorrow ig)

If you are or support proshippers, this is not your blog, I'm sorry. I'm not comfortable with you around here.

If you are TERF/rad-fem. I don't share your ideals, sorry. I'm not comfortable with you around here either.

If you are or support pedophiles, racist, homophobic, transphobic people. Don't be an asshole please, open your eyes.

I want this to be a safe place for everyone and you are a threat to my goal.

𝓕𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓸 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝓮

Well, you can skip this, this will be long.

I'm dumb af, you can notice in many of my posts but it's important to get this clear before starting.

I'm a minor. I don't mind adults interacting as long as they aren't weird and aren't mentioned in my do not interact. Thank you.

Sometimes I'm too friendly, but please do not misundertand my words. I'm aro and I don't want any relationship. Sorry if you're uncomfortable with how I talk, just tell me and I'll stop.

I think I'm funny but I'm not.

I don't know how to communicate with people. I don't even know how to do it in my mother language, I don't know what you are expecting from me. I'd love to talk to you if you want though, I just suck and I'll probably run out of things to tell after 2 minutes of chatting.

I vent sometimes, but just trivial things. I think I do not have any TW to put like, in the general blog. If it is one, I'll put it on the specific post.

I get obsessed over a specific series, anime or book and I stick with it for months. In that time, I can't watch any other series or anime that isn't the one that I'm obsessed with at the moment. Right now I'm on my JJBA obsession.

Also, I've just watched the anime parts. I would start reading the manga, but I'm waiting for the Stone Ocean anime release. I don't know if I could wait til then though.

My personality type is INTP in MBTI and 5w4 in Enneagram. I was True Neutral in Alignment but I did the test on January. I have to do the tests again. By the way I know this tests aren't 100% accurate but it's the unstoppable need to try to know myself that keeps me inspiring me to do them on repeat, don't mind me. Annnd because I'm too lazy to read all the personalities one by one.

I don't know if anyone wants my Discord, but here it is anyways:

sakima#2527

I usually forget things a lot so expect a bunch of "I was going to say/complain about something but I forgot what it was".

I had more things to put on here but I forgot so this section will be constantly updated.

𝓚𝓲𝓷𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓱𝔂

Again, the unstoppable need to know myself. Here's my kinwheel:

If you don't know how this works, in the centre is my main kin, then medium or highkey kins and lastly, the lowkey ones.

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓼

JJBA

Get my blood sucked by DI- Oh no I shouldn't say this publicly sorry

That's it that's the section.

Recommend books and songs thank you

𝓣𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓮 𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓻

I think that's it by now. Thank you for doing it this far! Now, can we be mutuals? Or besties maybe? I don't have much to offer, but here is my visual representation:

If you want to know about my JJBA opinions search the tag #jjba 30 day challenge. I left it on day 6 but I'll continue soon. I promise.

Well, now's definitely over. I hope you see me as a cool person because that's my goal in life. Also, I'm praying for this shit to work well on my blog, this ain't Amino.

Have a nice stay! Thank you for making it this far. And remember: you're cool, you're loved and you matter. Take care of yourself please. See ya.

Kat out ;)

PS: If you read this, you have to follow me, I don't make the rules /j

[cadetcama]

hsmtmts enneagrams pt 1

I started thinking about this and once I started, I couldn’t stop so here’s part 1 of my typing of the characters from hsmtmts. Let me know your thoughts! I love discussing this stuff! 

Ricky Bowen - 6: The Loyalist

Ricky dislikes change and unpredictable situations (like his mom moving to Chicago). 6s fear abandonment and being without support, which is why he resents Ms Jenn for putting the show (which has become his safe space) in jeopardy (and, again, his mom for moving to Chicago). Fittingly, they “stick to the status quo” and will fight for their friends and community more than they will themselves (like writing a song and learning a dance to save Ms. Jenn’s job and the show). 6s doubt themselves (he can’t be Troy or learn the dance and when his idea for a song gets shut down, so does he - until coaxed back out) and and have near-constant low-level anxiety and are slow to open up (he rejects everyone who wants to talk to him about his mom until hours later when he finally feels safe). Sixes are loyal, compassionate,  understanding and honest and often turn their anxiety into self-deprecating humor.

Nini Salazar-Roberts - 9: The Peacemaker

9’s are called the crown of the enneagram because they can embody or present as all types, because they tend to merge with others (Kourtney says Nini is constantly trying to see herself how Ricky/EJ see her). Nines are easy going and sense others needs, as seen when Nini tries to comfort Gina and Ricky at various points in the show. Nine’s hate and avoid conflict - when Nini finds out EJ took her phone and deleted her voicemail, she avoids him and doesn’t confront him about it until he pushes it. 9s want things to go smoothly and don’t want others to be upset - Nini immediately agreed with Ricky’s idea of a “pause” despite having just told him she loves him.

EJ Caswell - 3: The Performer/Achiever

EJ plays to win and that’s what 3’s do. They have a need to overachieve (EJ has a 4.3 GPA, is captain of the water polo team and is used to being the lead in the school’s musicals) and failure isn’t an option. 3s do feelings, rather than have feelings (“don’t make me emote”) and they hate to admit their mistakes (the entire arc of stealing Nini’s phone, then the overcorrect of admitting to everything, and stopping when it didn’t work out). They are very concerned with what others think of them (”She thinks I’m a CHAD?!” / ”that’s just for the fans, Ash. Inside, I’m a bucket of sad”).

Gina Porter - 8: The Challenger

8’s are confident and decisive (Gina has a “plan” to get the part of Gabriella, even if it isn’t an actual plan). Gina (and 8s) are very independent and can be seen as tough, or “scary”. 8s what someone to challenge them back (Gina backs off of Nini when Nini stands up to her and has a Moment with Ricky shortly after Ricky calls her out too). 8s in stress tend to withdraw and disconnect from others (as Gina does when she learns she has to move, again). 8s can be intimidating (which Ricky has called her) and have problems with their temper (we’ve seen her lash out a few times.

[saltlamp]

i was tagged by @florenepugh and @wintersoeldiers (thank you ashlyn and arya 🥰 sorry this is a couple days late) to answer the following 73 questions!

my answers are under the cut !!

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? honestly about a 5, i’m working on taking better care of myself and doing all my assignments but there’s nothing good going on

describe yourself in a hashtag? #burntout 

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? nobody 

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? one day at a time

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i’ve never dyed my hair

what’s your wake up ritual? i snooze my alarm until i feel mentally awake, then wash my face and brush my teeth and drink some water, get dressed and make some coffee if i feel like i need it, then get started on whatever i have to do for the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? i wash my face and brush my teeth, then if i really need to sleep i’ll take a melatonin and put lavender into my diffuser

what’s your favorite time of day? midnight

your go to for having a good laugh? john mulaney netflix specials or [fictional characters as] vine compilations

dream country to visit? anywhere in europe, but i really want to go back to peru someday

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? i’m getting a car when i leave for college!!! a new one!!! i still can’t believe it

heels or flats/sneakers? mostly sneakers but sometimes heels make me feel badass. i’m the tallest girl in the room most of the time, so what’s a few more inches?

vintage or new? both

who do you want to write your obituary? leigh bardugo would make me seem a lot cooler than i really am and write my trauma in a beautifully sad way so... i’d love that. 

style icon? ashley from bestdressed on youtube!! (wait ashlyn SAME i’ve been subscribed to her for like three years and my style evolves with hers)

what are three things you cannot live without? my journal, my water bottle, and my airpods

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? ...salt? i don’t cook often

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i can’t cook so gordon ramsey, guy fieri, and my mom. their reactions would be hilarious in different ways 

what’s your biggest fear in life? abandonment but i should just learn to expect it at this point !! 

window or aisle seat? window

what’s your current tv obsession? i’m between shows at the moment so i’m rewatching she ra

favorite app? minimaList is an app i’ve used since early high school, it’s a to-do list that has a built in pomodoro timer and it’s the best thing in the world.

secret talent? not sleeping for days! that’s a joke i really should work on that... i can also move my ring finger on my right hand in a way that’s hard to describe unless you see it in person. 

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? i’ve hiked all sorts of ~dangerous~ places

how would you define yourself in three words? pensive, quiet, loyal

favorite piece of clothing you own? my mom’s high school track hoodie fits me perfectly and i wear it all the time. i’m wearing it now

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a denim jacket or white sneakers 

a superpower you would want? weirdly specific but i’d want to read personalities, like myers-briggs types or enneagram, upon meeting a person. 

what’s inspiring you in life right now? due dates

best piece of advice you’ve received? make one good friend and everything else will fall into place

best advice you’d give your teenage self? they’re too occupied with themselves to be thinking about you

a book everyone should read? the harry potter series

what would you like to be remembered for? kindness/loyalty

how do you define beauty? outer beauty is somewhat subjective but confidence and intelligence are two universal marks of beauty for me

what do you love most about your body? i really like my legs!

best way to take a rest/decompress? do something familiar, like journaling or taking a shower or washing dishes

favorite place to view art? museums are some of my favorite places on the planet

if your life was a song, what would the title be? no idea. oh wait, that could actually be one

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? i used to play the piano as a kid and i was seen as some kind of prodigy because of my good ear but now i can barely play it, so i’d want to get back into that

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? behind my ear

dolphins or koalas? koalas

what’s your spirit animal? a cat, 100%

best gift you’ve ever received? this is stupid but my brother got me a talking kylo ren thingy for christmas in 2015, not knowing he was further fueling my future obsession with ben solo. to this day it’s one of my favorite useless possessions

best gift you’ve given? honestly anything i give my littlest brother because every time i give him a gift he acts like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen (he’s 11)

what’s your favorite board game? CLUE!!!

what’s your favorite color? lilac, periwinkle, or red

least favorite color? orange

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore makeup

blow-dry or air-dry? air-dry

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? i go through phases, so both!

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? milk. just, think about it. milk. what the heck is that. read it some more. milk. milk. milk. 

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark 

stairs or elevators? stairs

summer or winter? winter!!!

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? chipotle burrito bowl

a dessert you don’t like? creme brulee

a skill you’re working on mastering? i’m working on getting better at drawing

best thing to happen to you today? i got to facetime my grandparents just a few minutes ago! i was so relieved to hear they’re doing well and nobody has covid in their nursing home :)

worst thing to happen to you today? i can’t move because of period cramps :)))))))))))

best compliment you’ve ever received? the most common compliment i get (and honestly my favorite) is that i’m a calming person to be around and very trustworthy

favorite smell? lavender, dirt (especially after rain), espresso grounds

hugs or kisses? hugs hugs hugs

if you made a documentary, would it be about? personality types, or maybe differences between modern cultures, or maybe medieval castles

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? i recently watched an adam driver interview from 2017 and since i’m on my period and it’s sad ben solo hours, i cried

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? both

girl crush? zendaya and florence pugh

how do you know you’re in love? i’ve never been in romantic love before, but i can tell i love someone when i feel comfortable enough around them to be myself and talk about my problems

a song you can listen to on repeat? there’s one piece of classical music that i could listen to FOREVER and it WILL be playing at my funeral: albinoni’s adagio in G minor (with organ along with the other strings tho)

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? i wouldn’t switch lives with anyone but if i could be something else for a day i’d be a voice actor or maybe a hermit living in the middle of nowhere centuries ago

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? graduating high school and starting university! i’m more nervously excited but still...

tagging: @omensgood @acrookedsaint @afterglowacoustic @sunstarkov if you guys want!

[hmajorgirl]

so here I am for old times sake. it’s been 5 years and a lot has changed. but i’m kinda still the same. maybe my inner monologue doesn’t sound as self-assured as it did when I was 15. maybe i don’t romanticise the shit out of every 2 second eye contact i make with cute strangers. maybe i don’t grammar well anymore because i think it’s a cute look. Oh wow. so much of the world has changed. facial recognition, instagram shops, the pandemic... so many new songs i play on repeat until i’m sick of them. i’m a lot less motivated than i was before, and i’m ashamed to admit that. i have smile lines. i feel more and more defeated everyday (actually, we’re trying to work on this). but yh the sad emo vibes never quite dissipated like i dreamed they would, i felt so betrayed by the order of things and the way of the world that i lost a lot of hope. gave up on myself (a bit... a lot sometimes). but other times, it’s gucci. i feel like i’m definitely more cringe than cheesy now. not sure if that’s a good thing, pretty sure it’s not. 

hmm. what hasn’t changed? still unfortunately in love with love, but i can mostly see the difference between real life and the cute shit that happens in my head. i’m learning to have faith, to trust. to start living life and exist in the same dimension as other people because even though it sucks, it’s better than existing alone in your head. i realised that studying will only get you a quarter of the way to things and unfortunately stopped that shit. it wasn’t a good idea because i didn’t pick anything else up. i’m still writing songs. still singing them badly. BUT my singing has improved marginally:) i still love my parents, family is all good (touch wood). still a bit too impressionable but we’re working on building a stronger willpower and independence. still love taylor swift. still want to run away to the creative industry. still want to runaway sometimes (in general). I still write! sometimes. wow, i guess some things really just don’t change. 

The good? Hmm my eyes have been opened to the multi-dimensions of wealth and inequality and cultural differences that exist in the world. I am thankful for that and didn’t know that money could buy so much. but simultaneously feel disheartened that the discrepancy is so large between people at birth. inequity is real and idk how i feel about that because i really believed in the natural justice system. and then I was so caught up in these feelings of betrayal and injustice that i forgot that i am lucky enough to have the opportunity to change things. I forgot about it for 5 years and now it feels like it’s too late. i know it’s not. 

that was a digression. 

the good. okay. hmm discovered korean dramas and the mastery that is cinema and how it evokes emotions through stories and idk that’s just a piece of my soul coming together. i work out occasionally. sadly i stopped dance but i’m vowing to sign up for classes once i have the money. i got a spotify membership and spend my days making playlists for myself and it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I really hate how my inner core is so soft and romantic, it’s not fit for the capitalist society that we’re living under. i have friends, i like them, they like me. there is a guy, maybe. there were a few guys actually. i’m not sure how long this one is going to be around for GAHHH omg imagine if i re-read this in five years time and i’m laughing at myself because he screwed me over so bad idk. i have bad self-esteem issues. i am kinda joking, kinda not. okay, i like him but let’s move onto another topic. i’m trying my best to adult and be honest with my feelings and approach things with feigned maturity to mask my pre-teen thoughts. let’s leave it at that:)

i remember that taylor said that the lucky one was the hardest song to write for the red album. because it was solely about her and her life. no guys (apart from the second verse but okay that’s not central to the song). it’s the same for me. i don’t want to talk about the direction of my professional life because it scares me more than messing my life up romantically. for now, i’m beginning to see the role of passion and interest in work and it’s importance. I’m trying my best to walk towards that direction because i know that ultimately i want a career that I would love to work overtime for. but i’m still trying to balance the scales between what i want and the confinements of reality. i need to make money. sometimes it feels like an either or kind of situation and i don’t know what to do. but maybe this is just standard 20 year old thoughts. okay but we have 2 months left of uni so i’m going back to studying. i hope that when i look back on this i would have a 2:1 bachelors (but let’s be honest we want a first) 

some final thoughts for 25 year old me because why not make your tumblr a time-capsule? dodie-style. 

what are you listening to right now? I’m listening to 21 by gracie. Are you seeing anyone? Honestly, I don’t see you in a steady relationship because i feel like your self-esteem will get in the way of things - either that or you get your shit together and focus on your career too much. I hope it’s the latter. I hope family is all well and healthy. call them. right now, if you’re not living with them. DEAR GOD PLS don’t still be living with them. OH GOD DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FLAT/HOUSE?? where are you by the way? london? what are you doing right now career-wise? how’s it going? is it what you want to do? does it fit in with your life plan? please tell me you have a life plan by now. i hope i’m proud of you. i hope you’re working hard. how are you? really? are you rich enough to afford therapy and weekly spin/pilates sessions? what’s up with your social circle? are you still writing? ARE THERE DRONES EVERYwhere? How’s chloe? Elizabeth? Jason? Update me, what happened with the guy - i want to hear a story. do you cook now? did you manage to turn your personality type from a 2/9 enneagram to a 3? bitch we gonna work on this. do you still write songs? can you sing? you don’t have kids right lmao pls no god help us. what’s your yearly salary post-tax? did you start dancing again? did you start to learn piano again? what happened with the pandemic? how long were you quarantined for? do you still make spotify playlists haha? what tv series are you currently binging? do you hate me? please tell me your still blogging ur life on ur private instagram. how many followers do you have now? who are you having conversations right now with on facebook? what are your colleagues like? are you less people orientated now that you’ve realised that they cannot provide you with the love that you are depriving yourself of from yourself? DO YOU READ? are you the perfect health-freak, ig-girl, smart business woman, go-getter in her white suit at the glass media company that you dreamed about being at those dark spin sessions? GOD IMAGINE. I hope you are but i don’t have faith right now. pls tell me you don’t teach (or you teach and ur salary is insane in a good way). are you a journalist? you didn’t go into consulting right? did you study again after uni? are you the screenwriter that you’ve dreamed about? did your poetry account blow up and now you’re a full time poet? I still kinda hope you work at a nice glass office (brand consulting, advertising, media, journalism) and wear cute coords suits to work. and i hope you’re writing on the side because it’s who you are. I hope you’re reading lots and I hope you’re super smart and switched on. I hope you’re memory has improved a lot. I hope you’re in love, I hope he loves you back and I hope you know that too. I hope you have a great and healthy relationship with your parents and see your extended family and grandparents often. I hope everyone is healthy and I hope you took your parents to duck and waffle like you wanted (don’t do it when you’re poor though). I hope you’re taking care of your health and eating well. I hope you’re still dreaming in a realistic way. I hope you have great mentors and a supportive friend group. I hope you’re living your best life. re-read the defining decade. but i hope you don’t reminisce to much anymore and don’t write too many songs because you’re 25, time to break out the novel shit. I hope you’ve travelled alot. I hope you spend a few more summers in china falling in love with life and yourself again. how is your chinese? are you still a romantic? tell me, have you changed, if at all? do you read the news? are you less cynical about yourself and more realistic or less optimistc about the world? I hope you are. contingencies are important.

are you excited for the future? I hope you are. if not, please change, you have time, all you need is faith and diligence. hope you’re holding up well. Me? at 20? I’m excited about what my 25 year old self is going to be like, like i was excited to see what my gcse results were going to be like. I hope the results are the same. work hard. i love you. hope you love yourself more. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. have faith. :) i can’t do much for you, but i hope i did a lot to get to where you are right now. hoping is useless, i’m going to work now. 

take care x

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Regarding looping, I also find that many people mistype their Enneagram, considering themselves 2 in integration or 7 in desintegration... There is no info about how long these "rises and falls" may last.

I’m not sure if there was a question in here? But I’m going to take it as a jumping off point to talk a bit about my entirely subjective theories here.

First, re: no info about how long these rises and falls last. This is all pseudoscience, so this is very much just me speculating, but as I understand it:

Gripping is a brief stress reaction. If you think you are gripping for years, you are probably just mistyped.

Looping is typically described as a defense mechanism, specifically in people who haven’t developed their auxiliary function very well. As a result, shorter periods of looping, also as a brief stress reaction, make sense in teen/early adulthood years. For long-term looping, I’d suspect it wouldn’t occur unless someone also had severe trauma in the mix, in which case stop reading about looping on the internet and find a therapist if that’s remotely possible.

disintegration/integration are more a lifelong state of health for enneagram. Most people are somewhere in that middle range, and again, stop saying “oh it’s just enneagram disintegration” and get some actual help. But I don’t think you just dip into disintegration (the way you might for a loop or grip) - it’s not a stress reaction, but an overall, well, disintegration. It’s a breakdown process.

-------

Now, the other part: Tumblr is an absolutely garbage place to learn about mental health. I cannot stress this enough. There are lots of people who have taken a single psych course if that and decided that they are basically a luminary within the field of abnormal psychology when in fact they are a caffeinated 19-year-old with a B- average. Or people will hear something from their therapist - which is great - but share it and other people will assume it also applies to them.

The example I like to use is maladaptive daydreaming. This is a controversial subject even within actual clinical psychology, and research is in its infancy. There have been something like two actual case studies. And, more crucially, normal levels of daydreaming in healthy humans are pretty high. If maladaptive daydream gains traction as a recognized condition, it would have as its core symptoms a requirement that the affected person essentially be addicted to the point where it is seriously interfering with one’s ability to engage with the real world. It is not common. But because it’s a poorly-understood area with little research, instead of exercising a normal level of scientific caution, or having the life and/or research experience to say “oh having elaborate escapist fantasy scenarios in your head is ENTIRELY FUCKING NORMAL, why do you think people write fiction or play D&D” a whole lot of people on Tumblr have decided they are afflicted with this, when in fact they are completely fine.

Self-diagnosis is a stage in the mental health process, and I’m not going to front like every mental health professional has pure intentions and is infallible nor that mental health is as accessible as it should be, but so many things - daydreaming, intrusive thoughts, feeling anxious or sad or easily distracted sometimes - are well within the normal human range of experience. The mental illness occurs when you feel this way for no reason and can’t stop for extended periods of time and can’t function normally. To put it another way, even a completely neurotypical person can have really shitty days, because that is how life and the world and brains all work.

I don’t want to minimize mental illness (ie, I’m trying not to sound like Maria Bamford’s brilliant Everyone Has Depression bit), but the internet discourse in general suffers from a severe lack of context and nuance.

This applies to MBTI. Everyone has stressful moments when they lash out, because that is how many people interact with stress. These are things you can learn from a. meeting a goddamn fucking person and b. taking a class in cognitive neuro or psych and recognizing it does not make you a psychologist but it does give you a tiny grain of that context you so desperately need to engage with that internet discourse intelligently. But without that context, instead of saying “I was having an awful day and I freaked out and I’m sorry, this is a human thing” it turns into “I was gripping/looping/disintegrating.”

For some people, MBTI turns into a way to divorce their consciousness (their soul I guess if you ascribe to that theory?) from their actions and that’s one reason I try to describe the functions as being used (eg: I am a high Si user) - if I do something shitty, that is me, Em, doing something shitty, not my low Ne or my high Te or enneagram 1 disintegrating into 4.

Frankly, even if I were legit in the grip, if I did something shitty I have still done something shitty and am still responsible for my actions, because adult humans are general speaking responsible for their actions. But I think a lot of looping/gripping/disintegrating stuff comes from a place of both not understanding what is pathological and what is completely normal, and also a lack of personal responsibility. Or, on the flip side, people hoping they are fine and this is just an MBTI quirk when in fact it’s an actual issue.

As a lesser and more cynical factor, I think some of this also is a way to type yourself as the hot new darling of whatever system while explaining why you don’t actually act that way: “oh, I’m disintegrating to 7 but I’m really the all-knowing 5″.

[dani-cim]

a list of 30 (possibly) interesting things about myself.

My sister suggested I do this, and I’m feeling especially uninteresting today so maybe this will prove my negative thoughts wrong lol.

1. I played the drums when I was like, 7 or 8.

2. I am pretty good at dying hair.

3. I know how to make clothes & I made my prom dress for junior prom.

4. I dabbled in photography as a pre-teen and wanted to be a wedding photographer, cause I was good at capturing moments.

5. I have learned at least a little bit of Chinese, Tagalog, German, Spanish, Italian, Latin, Greek, and Portuguese.

6. I am currently writing 3 books and 2 movies.

7. I was unofficially diagnosed by my therapist with sensory processing disorder. Basically, fairly often I’ll get incredibly anxious and sounds, light, and touch becomes overly intense and I basically have a panic attack lol. Usually in our daily band meetings I’ll have to cover my ears while everyone speaks bc their voices get waaaay too loud, I ALWAYS have the brightness down on my phone, I shut my blinds a lot during the middle of the day, and I cut the tags off of every shirt I own haha.

8. I have a 32 out of 36 on my ACT English. Pretty proud of that one lol.

9. I’ve never been in an official relationship, but I’ve been giving grade A relationship advice since I was younger than 10.

10. I refer to myself as a “reverse pescetarian” because I eat pretty much everything EXCEPT fish. I refuse to eat fish/sushi bc it makes me too sad. 

11. I’ve been dying my own hair since I was 13.

12. I am fairly good at graphic design, I make a lot of our promo pictures that you see on Insta/Twitter etc.

13. I transcribed an entire piano piece just because I wanted to learn it for real, and tried my best to read the music that I wrote instead of playing it by ear.

14. Last year for Halloween, I made myself and my friend princess dresses from scratch literally hours before we wore them lol.

15. I learned to read when I was 4, and I skipped 7th grade.

16. I want AT LEAST 10 kids.

17. My myers-briggs type is ESFP and I’m enneagram type 7!! 100%.

18. I have pretty bad scoliosis, so the upper half of my body is completely tilted and falling in one direction instead of just being straight lol.

19. I’m ambidextrous when it comes to doing eyeliner haha.

20. My snapchat was “idontwearawig12″ for the longest time LOL

21. I have 10 siblings.

22. The careers I’ve wanted so far have gone in this order:

- Fashion designer

- English teacher

- Interior designer

- Astrophysicist/astronomer

- Architect

- Zoologist  

23. My teeth were INSANE when I was younger, so I had 4 permanent teeth pulled.

24. My biggest fear is being annoying and ignored at the same time.

25. I can pick up pretty much any instrument and learn it fast.

26. I’ve had a full time job since I was 9. 

27. I’ve been homeschooled my entire life.

28. I played water polo in middle school and was actually good at it. The other girls were scared of me HAHA

29. I’m almost 5′9, everyone is surprised at how tall I am when they meet me.

30. My favorite thing about myself is my ability to do anything I want to do. Literally anything, I could figure it out. 

[mychemicalrant]

An Autism Reflection

I am going to do a write up of childhood and adult observations about why I think I might be on the spectrum. It’s a little TL;DR, sorry.

When I was a kid I had trouble understanding the concept of familial and friend love. My friends would say “I love you” and I’d always saw “ewww, you can’t love me!” in response. It took me many years to understand the concept of love applied to family and friends and more years still to decide whether I loved other people. I can now say that I love my dad and that is very obvious but I can’t say I love any other biological family members just because they are biologically related. When I got married, I met many people in my partner’s family that I can say I love on a personal level but I don’t feel “love” simply because I am now legally related to someone.

Love as a feeling doesn’t come naturally to me and it certainly didn’t come easily as a social concept. You are supposed to say “love” in social contexts even when you don’t feel it because love isn’t so much a feeling as it is a social handshake of sorts, I suppose. But I do think for many people love comes from a real place in them. When I was a kid the thought of claiming to feel an emotion I did not feel was utterly incomprehensible. If I seemed hurtful this may have been why. I didn’t attack others on purpose but if I seemed insensitive it came from the fact that I did not understand why we had to display affection when we didn’t feel it. I would always make the grandmother I didn’t see very often cry and I never knew why. I guess that’s why? I feel extremely uncomfortable opening gifts in front of others because I am afraid I will have to perform excitement and not be able to. I hate weddings and funerals because I honestly don’t give a shit about the emotional context but everyone expects you to put on a display of sadness or joy or whatever and I don’t even feel that, let alone want to display it.

One time I went to the dentist for a filling on a bottom tooth and he numbed the spot but found when he went to work on it that it wasn’t numbed. Some other part of my jaw had gotten numbed instead. This went on for two more shots until we finally got the right spot numbed and he told me I had crossed nerves. My emotions are the same way. Funerals and death barely seem to phase me (I cried for maybe 5 minutes when I found out my mom had died when I was ten) but I’ll genuinely cry over some random thing.

I often can’t identify my emotions at all, although I am working on this. As a Pagan I had explained this as having a closed heart chakra. As a personality enthusiast I had explained this as being an INTJ or an Enneagram 5 and therefore bad at emotions. But the more I studied these things the more I realized something still wasn’t getting answered. INTJs are stereotyped as being effective, successful, and driven people despite preferring introversion. That’s not...really me. But INTPs are stereotyped as being scattered and flexible and I need to have routines and obsess over increments of things such as time, money, or resources. I am very internally organized and this extends to the outer world as well. I get frustrated going off the plan or making changes or not being able to account for something because a new variable came up. But since discovering that I might be on the spectrum it actually feels like a puzzle piece snapping into place. My whole life makes sense, even (and especially) the things I have been made to feel ashamed about.

Having autism means you process and prioritize information differently, and for high functioning females this can be hard to identify at first. I made it through school okay. I didn’t have any significant learning difficulties except being extraordinarily bad at math (like, took pre-algebra four times from 7th grade to college bad) and having to do a Title 1 remedial reading course in elementary school. I didn’t have trouble focusing and I excelled at writing tasks. I had extreme struggles learning things I had no interest in but managed to get good enough grades anyway. I was easy enough to get along with and although I didn’t have any friends at school until 9th grade I made it by okay. (Most of my friends were male or tomboys and always 1-3 years younger than me.)

Dating, socializing, and friend-making were never easy for me but I didn’t think this indicated that I had a disability in these areas. I had always assumed I was just really bad at it? Like, I share no interests with other people and am genuinely not interested in other people. As a kid I was desperate to play with other kids but couldn’t bridge the social gap to ask and would only play with one close friend at a time when I did have friends. But as an adult I keep to myself pretty much. I didn’t really think this was an indicator of a disability or cognitive situation because I had just accepted it as a part of my life. My interests are intense, particular, and not always popular. My interests are also geared for the wrong demographic compared to what I am. People and socializing are utterly boring to me. I prefer solitary tasks. So on and so forth. It wasn’t until I hit post college that I started to realize I had a real problem, which will be its own post.

When I’m honest with myself, I feel mentally at the age of twelve. I fixate and obsess over things well below my age group. When I was in my twenties I figured, well, your twenties are like an extended teenage time, right? But then I hit thirty and realized this is when you need to start showing the world that you are an adult. Drink mimosas and don’t do it through a straw. Know what an IRA is and know how to climb the corporate ladder. Don’t fixate on t-shirts and small collectable objects. Don’t obsess over tiny objects in the shape of US states. Stop hyperfocusing on the color of everybody’s eyelashes. Care about babies and home ownership and marriage.

I’m learning some fascinating things about girls on the spectrum. A lot of girls with Asperger’s have issues with gender identity and feel out of place in a woman’s life or with female gender roles. Girls with autism have a special challenge in life, because female gender roles are socially dependent in a way that male roles aren’t. Boys are taught to be independent and girls are taught to form social groups. Right out of the gate girls are being trained to be social-minded, which in one sense means girls are essentially getting autism therapy right from birth, which may explain why girls with Asperger’s don’t display traits in the same way that boys do. But as girls grow up they tend to respond to the challenges of being autistic in different ways. A primary way that I’ve come to learn through my research is to cope by mimicking the behavior of those around them and giving the appearance of understanding and performing those roles.

However, I think there’s another coping mechanism, and it’s the one I’ve chose. I’ve coped by more or less shunning social expectations and finding myself in male dominated spaces like video games and anime, etc. Nerd spaces are safe for a reason because it allows us both to indulge in our love of fantasy and world-building and also to fixate on something that isn’t sexually or socially driven. If you think about it, neurotypical gender interests stem from sex and signalling that one is sexually available. For women, it’s beauty and fashion and displays of attractiveness. For men, it’s sports and cars and other things that signal masculinity and strength. But for people with autism sexual stuff can get lost in translation so I have chosen to ignore those roles and not perform them at all, much to the chagrin of my parents growing up.

I shave my head in the bathroom sink for convenience. I never wear makeup (primarily because I can’t stand the sensation of goopy shit on my skin but also because I see absolutely no point in it). My clothes are mostly practical and comfortable. I can only wear breathable fabrics so tight frilly blouse-type fabrics are torture and I have only worn them a handful of times in my life. I wore bras only when I had to and went without most of the time. I never thought about the role that sensory sensitivities played in my dressing decisions but they are 100 percent the reason behind all the decisions I make, second only now to my OCD intolerance of fabrics that drape and touch nearby objects as I pass. Anyway, I’m not pretty but I am practical and functional.

I may not have stated that I felt inundated by a sea of sensory overload until I realized why that is. One thing I have done to cope is to fixate. As a kid I fixated on seemingly little things like sequins or collectable items I wanted. When I fixate on acquiring something (food, objects, whatever) I can tune out other things like how I’m feeling uncomfortable and overwhelmed. I still do this and at 31 years old I fixate more or less on the same things I did as a kid. One thing of fascination to me is colors, especially objects that come in many colors. Christmas lights is my earliest example of this, but as an adult it could explain my love of crystals. All crystals are rocks but they come in many colors and I love this so much. As a kid I was obsessed with tiny colored boxes. As an adult I went to The Container Store and bought them in every color. I’m still. You guys. I love colors so much.

I use food as a stim mechanism. At restaurants I feel almost entirely overwhelmed by the fluctuating environment of people moving and spinning and crawling all around you, plates being shoved into and out of your face, servers touching you and reaching over you, lights and sounds and crap. But I never noticed I was feeling so anxious by this (or I just chalked it up to my OCD) until I realized that the only thing I can willfully focus on when at a restaurant is the food. When is the food coming when is the food coming when is the food coming when is the food coming food is here food is here eat eat eat quick get it over with so we can leave why is the check taking so long I’ll have another piece of bread etc. I find myself eating even when I don’t want to out of the compulsive and comforting motion of reaching back and forth to my mouth, chewing, and so on. I used to overeat as a kid out of boredom but now I hardly eat at all because I get distracted and forget. I didn’t think of myself as a stimmer, though. The kind of stimming where people know that’s what you’re doing because you are rocking or otherwise zoned out in some very obvious movement that doesn’t fit the social context. Because I wasn’t doing that, I didn’t realize that what I was actually doing was stimming. Bouncing my leg so furiously that people thought I was convulsing. Picking my skin for hours. Constantly having my hands at my mouth or picking at some fabric or fraying the paper label on a bottle. I am almost always stimming in some fashion or another but the stims are pretty subtle. I mean, everyone clicks pens, right? Drinking and eating are stims and I often have a coffee when I go out because the act of raising the straw to my mouth gives me a physical action to do that comforts and calms me. There’s a lot to say on this topic so I’ll just move on for now. My point is, for females with high functioning autism it isn’t always obvious by male autistic behavioral standards because we have learned many masking techniques or just took the hit and identified as nerdy or non-binary or asexual or some other label that we thought explained it. The more I dig, though, the more I am amazed at how much of me stems from this potential. It’s heavy, though. I have a cousin with low functioning autism (we didn’t use that word back then; you know which word we used) and to realize I might be on the same spectrum is something to sit with, for sure. But it’s also a profound relief to think that all of these things aren’t my fault. I drove my parents absolutely insane growing up and always felt so much shame for it. They blamed me for not performing socially appropriate behavior or performing at my age level socially and now, to think there might be a reason for it is profoundly liberating and heals me on such a deep level. I can feel the Maniac Magee knot of self-hatred and loathing and blame starting to untangle at last.It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault.

[buriedunderbones-blog]

EDGAR BONES APPLICATION

I realised that after the original main got hacked I didn’t re-post my application and I thought it would be helpful/interesting to have it somewhere that can be accessed by everyone. (It was a while ago now though so Ed now may differ a bit from my first idea of him. Also there may be some mistakes or spelling errors oops) Anyway, under the cut is my app for Ed!

DESIRED CHARACTER Edgar Bones

FACE CLAIM William Moseley 

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

I find Hufflepuffs that really defy the house’s stereotype really interesting and in particular love the dark and brooding artist vibe of Edgar. I’m a huge fan of poetry and I can’t pretend that his name alone didn't interest me because of Edgar Allan Poe (& I can imagine he would be low-key pleased about sharing a name with one of the greats), but I was just so enthralled by the character, which is strange for me because I’m rarely drawn to characters I don't know at least a little bit about. The idea of a ‘loner’ Hufflepuff is super captivating because I can imagine how difficult it would be to be surrounded by people constantly asking how you are when you just want to be alone and stewing in angst. He obviously exhibits a lot of typically Hufflepuff traits; he is very good at giving solutions to problems and empathising with people, he’s hard working, loyal, and he has his head in the clouds a lot. However, he doesn’t appreciate empathy when it’s directed towards him, he is a ride or die friend to only a few people and doesn’t really fret over the rest, and he often prefers to be lost in thought than down on earth. His issues with commitment stem from his lack of communication skills; he can write down what he’s feeling, but it’s often hard for him to verbally open up to others. He isn’t particularly quick to anger, but he often jumps into fights just to feel the thrill of it; Edgar bottles up a lot of his emotions and, while he also lets them out through artistic means, he doesn't have a physical outlet. Part of him also just finds the feeling of bones cracking under his knuckles fascinating. He was definitely the type of child who killed ants with a magnifying glass, not out of cruelty, but morbid curiosity. The poem ‘Alone’ by Poe really resonates with how I see Edgar; he just doesn’t relate to a lot of the people around him and while they all focus on the blue skies, he cannot help but see the clouds. I usually find it really difficult to match characters to an Enneagram of personality number, but Edgar is definitely a strong 4. He is very much focused on being himself and idealises sadness and fantasising, but sometimes in trying to find and be himself, he loses sight of his core values. He has a lot of Ravenclaw in him, but ultimately he isn't calculated enough to be a Ravenclaw and he doesn’t value intelligence and learning above all. He has some Slytherin qualities, but he isn't ambitious or cunning enough; he doesn’t really lie (but he does withhold truth with silence) and he’s content to keep his dreams in his head. He can seem quite impulsive, but he doesn’t have that true Gryffindor recklessness (at least not for the same reason they have it: he isn't scared of death). He fights for the cause, not because he’s particularly passionate about it, but because he knows it’s the right thing to do. He may stray to the darker things in life and have trouble figuring out where he stands morally, but he’s loyal to his family and knows he will always stand with them. I’m not sure if these are reasons or me just explaining why I love him so much. He’s weird and he’s an outcast; he doesn’t fit in, but that’s what makes him all the more interesting. While a lot of people in his situation would reject the people who made him feel that way and join more radical groups (eg. death eaters, aversio) to feel like they belong, Edgar doesn’t do that. He knows that even if his opinions and experiences differ to that of his family, he'll stick by them no matter what. It’s that loyalty that makes him a Hufflepuff and stops him from floating away into his thoughts to the point of no return. (I could really go on forever, but I’ll stop)

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

He would work well with someone who balances him out and is willing to let him have alone time, but also doesn’t let him wallow in self-pity. He find it hard not to develop an emotional connection through sex, but he has a lot of commitment issues so casual sex can be a bit of a problem. (he does it anyway though) He’s mostly homosexual; although I wouldn’t completely rule out a m/f ship, I see him working better with guys.

♔ CREATE ONE (oops) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

-A MOCK BLOG ( buriedunderbones.tumblr.com ) where you can find the following: -A MOODBOARD ( https://buriedunderbones.tumblr.com/post/160438771802/edgar-bones-aesthetic-moodboard-no-one-remembers ) -AN AESTHETIC ( https://buriedunderbones.tumblr.com/post/160440824792/edgar-bones-aesthetic-those-of-wit-and-learning ) -A PLAYLIST ( https://buriedunderbones.tumblr.com/post/160438809257/edgar-bones-playlist-listen-here ) -I also did a little past/present/future gif post  ( https://buriedunderbones.tumblr.com/post/160446099697/and-all-i-loved-i-loved-alone-childhoods-hour )

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

Edgar frowned thoughtfully, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. “I don’t know if this counts really because its not an invention, as such, but it would be nice for invisibility cloaks to be more easily accessible.” He paused, unsure if he should continue. “I think- well, it’s, um, difficult sometimes to find a secluded place to think.” Edgar stuttered out, his mouth never had been quite on the same wavelength as his brain. Often people assumed he was shy, but he just struggled to get the right words on the tip of his tongue and by the time he finally managed most people stopped listening.

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

An almost fond look overtook the wizard’s features as he remembered the Forbidden Forest. Nobody took Edgar Bones for a rule-breaker, but he often found the best places to be alone were the ones off-limits. He had actually spent a night there, in his sixth year, up in a tree observing the wilderness and pouring into his moleskine. It was nice to be completely immersed in human silence, listening only to the animals tearing each other apart in the night. It was as though he didn’t exist at all. “I would go myself; as much as I love my family they just don’t get it.” He explained truthfully. “And I’d take my journal and quill, or does that count as two objects? I’m not really familiar with the semantics of the hypotheticals…” He trailed off awkwardly.

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

The hesitation on his face clearly indicated that the answer was ‘most of them’, but Edgar persevered with trying to come up with something more eloquent. “I feel a lot of emotions,” he struggled. “But I struggle to express them to other people, sometimes I don’t even want to. So, I suppose, I find it difficult to make the decisions that depend on showcasing my vulnerability.” Edgar shrugged slightly, as though to indicate he had nothing more to add.

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“The spoken word is arbitrary; it’s what they don’t say that really counts.” His reply was more confident this time, but Edgar had always felt strongly towards the subject. Perhaps, it was because he was known to hide his own true feelings and knew exactly how cutthroat the human mind could be. Or perhaps he’d just heard whispers behind his back for too long to really worry about the sting of an insult that only reached his ears.

WRITING SAMPLE

The vast body of water rippled dangerously with life. Edgar sat alone at the edge of the Great Lake and gazed upon its magnificence. To some people, such depth and area may appear intimidating, but Edgar was no stranger to his insignificance on a universal level. He picked up a small flat stone from the damp sand and flicked his wrist, skipping it over the lake’s surface. The stars shone brightly, reflecting off of the black water, giving the illusion that the wizard was himself part of the night sky. Edgar had always been strangely calm, it was a sense of peace that others couldn’t begin to comprehend. He didn’t bother himself with questions of existence and life; he found a freedom in knowing that, in the grand scheme of things, he didn’t matter. He embraced the philosophy and sought comfort in the idea that if his actions had no large scale effect, then he need not bind himself to the morals of the many. This oncoming war, however, could serve to change Edgar’s whole being. 

The electricity in the air buzzed through him, wind whistling through his golden locks, and Edgar looked blankly at the grounds around him. Hogwarts castle was visible in the near distance, standing tall and regal as it had for many years. He envisioned the walls collapsing, turrets tumbling, silver bricks colliding with solid ground. Chaos wasn’t an unappealing idea to Edgar, but he would rather be contained by reasonable limits than let the world be overtaken in a blaze of fire. The Order of the Phoenix was supposedly a way he could stop that from happening. 

Amelia looked at him, eyes brimming with determination and hope. “We could really make a difference Eddy; this is our chance to do something.” She looked at him like he looked at the stars above, and he was powerless to resist. 

At first, Edgar was vehemently against the idea. He wanted to remain neutral. Not that he feared the danger that accompanied fighting the darkness; he had never been scared of death. Edgar spent his youth squashing insects and pulling the wings from butterflies, just to observe the consequences. His adolescent self channeled that feeling through his fists, acting out in violence to feel the emotions that escaped him. The sensation of his lip spitting and blood exploding from the gash was enough to make him grin. He wore black eyes like they were works of art speckled across his face.

The circle of people parted to let Edgar leave. He walked with a rare confidence, hands splattered purple and red. People started, open-mouthed, and he felt his anger balance out, tossing an easy ‘you should see the other guy’  over his shoulder. 

The other students sometimes laughed at him, but Edgar knew they’d all want him on their side in times of battle. He would protect his few friends with everything he had. No, he didn’t have the strongest morals, nor did he claim to, but of all the badgers his bite was the worst. 

However, for Edgar, a war, even one he wasn’t particularly tied to, could become quicksand. His embrace was wholehearted or non-existent. And, as he looked upon the place he had called home for so many years, Edgar whispered out into the open, empty air. “It’s not about the cause; it’s those standing by you that make the fighting worthwhile.” 

[justpeachy--keen]

Peach Blossom Clearwater -- Character Sheet

i was supposed to do great things / i knew the rules though / but i wasn’t raised to shoot for fame / i had the safety on / i cut my ties, i sold my rings / i wanted none of this / if you start from scratch, you have to sing / just for the fun of it

Archetype — The Creator Birthday — March 25, 2001 Zodiac Sign — Aries MBTI — ENTJ Enneagram — Type 7: The Enthusiast Temperament — Sanguine Hogwarts House — Ravenclaw Moral Alignment — Chaotic Good Primary Vice — Gluttony Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Water

Overview:

Mother — Foster Mother: Angelica Martin; Birth Mother: Peony Cabrera-Rodriguez Father — Foster Father: Thomas Martin; Birth Father: Jesus Rodriguez Mother’s Occupation — homemaker/heiress Father’s Occupation — owned surf shop Family Finances — wealthy Birth Order — she was smack dab in the middle of her foster siblings Brothers —  Mark (17), Devon (16--birthday in December) Sisters — Rachel (13), Veronica (10) Other Close Family — None. Best Friend — Marta Tinney Other Friends — Patrick, Melanie, James, Malik Enemies — Georgia Pets — None. 5 foster children were enough. Home Life During Childhood — For an orphan, Peach was pretty lucky. She was never abused. Her first foster family kept her until she was eleven, even with her powers. The other kids teased her and she was a bit quiet and shy, but it wasn’t so bad. When she moved in with the Martins, she blossomed. They were a loving family and she thought that they might actually adopt her... Town or City Name(s) — Sydney, Australia! Born and raised--well, as far as she knows. (She was actually born in Rio de Janeiro and she likes to think she was born in Avalor.) What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — She shared with foster siblings. There weren’t a lot of things that were just hers, and she didn’t really get to decorate in her first home. In her second home, everything was pink, pink, pink! Any Sports or Clubs — Cheerleading, dance team, football, softball, she’s actually surprisingly sporty. She also loves to surf. Favorite Toy or Game — Clue was her favorite board game. She was wicked good at it. She also likes playing piano, her foster brother Mark taught her. Schooling — Public schooling, nothing special. Favorite Subject — Literature, definitely. Popular or Loner — Popular after she was in middle school, average amount of friends before that. Important Experiences or Events — being abandoned, changing foster homes, when she spied on her neighbor and found out they were doing very bad things!!, when her foster parents just gave her up without a second thought. Nationality — Australian Culture — ...Australian? (Barbies and the outback!!) Religion and beliefs — Kind of believes in “fate” and “destiny” more than anything else.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Camila Mendes Complexion — Tan skin, very smooth and pretty. Hair Colour — Black Eye Colour — Brown Height — 5’2 Build — Sporty, she’s got thick thighs and broad shoulders and strong arms because she does all sorts of dance and sports. Tattoos — None! Piercings — Ear piercings Common Hairstyle — Down, kind of wavy. But she’ll put it in a ponytail or pig tails or a little braid. Clothing Style — Very modern but vintage inspired so lots of knee socks and plaid skirts. That kind of thing. She wears headbands and pearls. Frilly blouses. But, she’ll also just rock t-shirts and high waisted shorts. It really just depends on the day, but she definitely keeps abreast of fashion trends (adding her own little twist to them.) Mannerisms — Quirks her mouth a lot when she’s thinking. Talks with her hands a lot, specifically claps them together or shoos people in her excitement. Loves to give high fives. Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Average. She gets colds a few times a year, but overall pretty healthy. Physical Ailments — None, she’s quite fit. Neurological Conditions — Uhh, none, really. She’s pretty fuckin’ sane, that’s weird. Allergies —  None! Grooming Habits — Takes very good care of her skin and hair. Shaves every day almost. Never leaves the house without make-up on. Sleeping Habits — She lowkey has a lot of trouble falling asleep, so she has a whole routine. And she says nighttime is when she does her best writing. Eating Habits — Eats pretty well, for the most part. But she also love, love, loves sweets. Eats a lot of candy and chocolate, for sure. Loves to bake. Exercise Habits —  Goes running, does pilates and yoga. Loves to play sports. Will try to get on the cheerleading team. Emotional Stability — Ummm. Honestly? Pretty good. She’s got some lowkey PTSD from the stuff she saw. And she’s got abandonment issues. Oh, also, she’s kind of a compulsive liar. Don’t believe anything she says really. Body Temperature — Average. Sociability — Very social. She doesn’t have the greatest social instincts though. She’s very good at reading people, but not at reading a situation, if that makes sense? Like she doesn’t always say the right thing, but she’s usually right about what she does say. Addictions — None. Uhh unless you count lying? Drug Use — Hasn’t done drugs!! (Yet) Alcohol Use — Got drunk once with her foster brothers. Devon tried to kiss her. It was really awkward.

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — Lying. Creating a version of herself she thinks that people will like in order to gain status. Picking at her cuticles. Blurting out things that probably shouldn’t be said in mixed company. Good Habits — She’s really a great friend, very supportive. She’s super smart and analytical. Best Characteristic — Great friend, really. Worst Characteristic — Compulsive lying. Worst Memory — Her foster parents turning her away. Best Memory — “You know, it’s so much harder to think of bad memories than good memories, I wonder why that is?” - Something Peach has definitely written in her journal. Proud of — Her lying skills. Her writing. Her photography. Her dancing. Basically anything she creates. Embarrassed by — Her need to lie. Driving Style — She’d be a pretty good driver, too bad no one will teach her how to drive. Thomas was going to start in the spring, cry. Strong Points — Intelligent, analytical, clever, insightful, caring, curious. Temperament — Happy go lucky! Peach is one of those people who you will never see sad or angry if she can help it. Weakness — Getting tangled up in her own lies; wanting validation. Fears — People thinking she’s stupid or unworthy. Phobias — Minor arachnophobia. Not much else, she’s pretty fearless. Secrets — Who she is, basically everything about her, lol. Regrets — Having gotten caught spying on her neighbor and the whole mess she’s got herself in. Feels Vulnerable When — Someone catches her having an emotion that is not happy. Pet Peeves — uhm she tries not to have them, because that doesn’t go with her zen lifestyle. Conflicts — The fact she knows everyone would hate her if they knew she was lying to them. Motivation — To be admired. Short Term Goals and Hopes — Be admired, do well in school, make friends, explore. Long Term Goals and Hopes — Be a famous writer. Sexuality — Bisexual, probably? Mostly undecided. She probably thinks she’s straight but also knows sexuality exists on a spectrum. Day or Night Person — Day, or well, she wants to be day, but has insomnia that keeps her up late. Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert. Literally got 100% extroverted on her Myers-Briggs. Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist. Aggressively an optimist.

Likes and Styles:

Music — Pop is her favorite genre. Yup, she’s definitely that girl, though she went through her #scene phase. But her faves are people like Katy Perry and Carly Rae Jepsen (it pains me to put those two next to each other, but to Peach, they’re one in the same.) She loooooves to dance, so anything that gets her moving is going to be what she likes to listen to. Though, she also loves to belt it out with Adele, etc. Books — Gosh, the better question is what books doesn’t Peach like? And the answer would be none! Because there is something to be gained from any book you read! She’s an avid reader, though she kind of keeps it on the down low. But you can’t be a good writer without reading! Magazines — Got to keep up with all the latest gossip! Peach loves all magazines, but she knows to take them with a grain of salt. At least, tabloids. She doesn’t really read things like the Times. Foods — Like I said above–Peach is a huge fan of candy. But, she also likes fruits a lot. Really anything sweet. Though she likes savory and spicy too. Basically, she isn’t particularly picky. She likes lollipops a lot and definitely can be seen eating them quite frequently. Drinks — She doesn’t really have a preference to what she drinks. She likes water. She likes lemonade, juices, soda pop. She’s tried vodka before and was not a fan, but she won’t admit that to anyone and definitely would try alcohol again. Animals — Peach loves anything cute! She’s not a fan of creepy-crawlies or snakes or anything like that or “ugly” does like hairless ones or ones that drool too much. She’s a little afraid of any like–super big animals too (like horses, GASP). One of the first things she’s going to do is buy a cat, even though that is really not advised… Sports — Peach loves sports! Playing them, anyways. She’s not really into watching them on TV, but she’ll definitely go to like--rugby games or football games. And she loves cheerleading, so she’ll probably be at all the games. Social Issues — Her social awareness is still developing but she does consider herself a feminist. Favorite Saying — “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” - Ernest Hemingway Color — Pink! Peach loves pink, always has. Yes, it’s “stereotypical” and “girlie” but she loves it. It makes her happy–the brighter the better, and she often can be seen wearing it. Whenever she’s in a bad mood, she puts on some pink and instantly feels a little better. She’s easy to please like that. Jewelry — Her pearl necklace. Her foster mother bought it for her when she turned sixteen. Websites — Tumblr. Instagram. Twitter. Facebook. She’s big into all the social media stuff. TV Shows — Game of Thrones. Once Upon a Time (yes she knows it is problematic, let her live.) Shows like Gossip Girl and The OC. Lost. Star Trek lowkey. Anything with good writing and/or an interesting concept. She’s a big binge watcher. Movies — Oh gosh. She likes a good mystery, that’s for sure. Also stories within stories (frame stories!!) like Moulin Rouge, Princess Bride, the Fall, and Singin’ in the Rain. But, she really does like anything with a good story. She’s also not one of those snooty “book is better than film” because she can understand the merits of both. Some of her favorite book adaptations are V for Vendetta, Water for Elephants, and the 2005 Pride and Prejudice. Greatest Want — To be appreciated. Greatest Need — To be loved.

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — Castle Suites 42W Household furnishings — Modern and sparse, she didn’t want to spend too much money on them, but her apartment is decorated very cute. A few paintings on the walls and lots of throw pillows. Favorite Possession — Her pearl necklace. Most Cherished Possession — Her journals and notebooks. Neighborhood — Gated community. Town or City Name — Sydney, Australia Details of Town or City — It was Sydney, Australia. Married Before — None. Significant Other Before — None. Children — None. Relationship with Family — Nonexistent now. Car — None. Career — None, but she’ll probably have to get a job. Dream Career — A famous writer. Dream Life — A famous writer, that’s it, that’s all she cares about. Love Life — Nonexistent, but she’s hoping that’ll change. Talents or Skills — Good writer, dancer, singer, photographer; she is not too shabby at painting either. Not bad at surfing and a few other sports. Intelligence Level — Too smart for her own good. Finances — Her foster family was wealthy and they did spoil her.

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — None. She helped out at the surf shop sometimes. Past Lovers — None, her foster brother Devon was her first kiss. Biggest Mistakes — Spying on her neighbor. (Though, does she really regret it? No.) Biggest Achievements — She probably won writing contests in school and ones she sent out.

[imaginemycroftholmes]

Submission form

(I’m actually the sassytrickster666 but my computer crashed so my friend offered to send it in :))

Name: Luci

Nationality: Dutch

Age (note that if you below 21 your scores may be lower until age of legality): 21

Personality Type: My MBTI type is INTJ and my enneagram is 5w6.

Level of Education: Currently working on getting my Bachelor at Erasmus.

Best Subject: English, Physics, Art.

Worst Subject: PE ( I detest soccer and being forced to play it, especially when the field looks like Swiss cheese… so many awkward falls).

Favorite Subject: English, Biology

5 Hobbies (if applicable): drawing, reading, writing, hiking and baking.

Favorite Genre of Music: Rock (Classic or Hard), some metal and occasionally classical music.

Movies/Books: It’s either mystery or science-fiction.

Last song you listened to on repeat: Head like a hole- Nine Inch Nails

Last phrase you said to another living person: ‘Look, if it does go wrong I’ll help you hide the body.’ (Friend of mine was going to break up with her horrible boyfriend.)

How many blankets do you sleep with: So. Many. About 3 at the moment.

7 note worthy skills: I’m loyal to a fault, determined/passionate, logical, humble, very caring, independent and I remember EVERYTHING.  

7 noticeable sins: I procrastinate. A lot. The remembering everything is also a sin. I have zero self-esteem and I tend to build very high and thick emotional walls. I’m selectively lazy, I eat my feelings and I often come off as cold to strangers (I’m pretty sarcastic and apparently I have a ‘resting bitch face’, but if you get to know me I am I dare say pretty funny and outgoing).

Allergies/impairments/illnesses: I’m allergic to mosquito bites and certain antibiotics. I have dealth with depression and anxiety in the past.

Level of Intelligence on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being dumb, 2 being below average, 3 being average, 4 being above average and 5 being genius): 4, I guess.

Level of Fitness on a scale of 1 to 5( 1 being obese, 2 being overweight, 3 being average, 4 being fit and 5 being skinny): 3.

Level of Attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being Anderson, 2 being below average, 3 being average, 4 being above average and 5 being Mycroft): I feel like a 1 or 2, like I said my self-esteem is not my strong suit, though I’m very lucky to have sweet friends that make me feel more empowered.

Feline, canine or both: Canine, dogs are loyal and usually sweethearts that notice how you feel and act on it. I do like cats, but just don’t really understand them very well as I was raised with dogs.

Confidence Level on a scale from 1 to 5 (1 being nonexistent, 2 low, 3 average, 4 above average and 5 Sherlock): 2-3. In certain areas I’m not hugely confident. Though if I know I’m right about something or good in something I won’t hesitate to show it.

Position in the Family (oldest, youngest, middle): It’s pretty complicated. In one I’m the –sort of- youngest in the other the older sister/something like that.

Eye Color: Grey-Blueish more Blue though

Hair Color and Length: It’s currently black with a red glow and it’s pretty long (it reaches my waist).

Height: 173 cm

Combat level on a scale 1 to 5 (1 being useless, 2 being somewhat capable, 3 being average, 4 being more than capable and 5 being expert): 4, did some martial arts and had some gun training. I dislike fighting but will defend myself or the ones I care about.

Your normal dress: When I’m in a hurry black jeans, a shirt or hoody,a jacket and boots. When I’m not black jeans with a blouse or flannel, a blazer and dress shoes.

How well you take rejection on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being temper tantrum, 2 being vindictive, 3 being average, 4 being can take it like a man, and 5 being like water off of a duck’s back): 4. To be very honest I usually refrain from doing anything until I’m about 99.5% sure. Though if it goes wrong, sure it affects me, I don’t like it, but it’s not like that will make me behave like toddler that doesn’t get their way.

Languages known: Fluent in Dutch, English, German and Italian. Studying French.

Cleanliness of your bathroom on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being a crime scene, 2 being messy, 3 being average, 4 being pretty clean and 5 being perfectly spotless): 4.

How big is your circle of friends on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being nonexistent, 2 being very small, 3 being average, 4 being large, and 5 being a massive social network): 2, I prefer a couple of very close friends that I can trust 100%.

How would you rate your mental health on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being very poor, 2 being poor, 3 being average, 4 being good, and 5 being prefect): 3.

Opinions on the current Holmes family members ( Siger Holmes, Violet Holmes, Sherlock Holmes and Eurus Holmes):

 Honestly, I think that Violet is a little overbearing and somewhat cold and I doubt it is a good idea to get on her bad side.. well let’s just say she is not my absolute favourite. I think that Siger seems kind ,but is pretty much whipped. Sherlock is the typically rebellious younger brother, but so so very talented. He is way more sensitive and emotional than he lets on, but hides it quite well. I think we could get along pretty well. As for Eurus… Well, I like to think that there are multiple sides to each story, as the truth we see comes from just our own perception and might not be 100% uncompromised. She both earns my curiosity and makes me a little uneasy. Incredibly cunning, intelligent and…dangerous. I don’t scare easily though. Maybe she’s deatlh with frustrations and pain the wrong way, causing twisted views. No one is born truly evil after all. 

Please bold the following below that applies toward your submission:

Friendship

Mentorship

Relationship

Partnership

I couldn’t quite find the original form without having scrolled trough numerous answered ones, so I skipped the question portion. I mean while scrolling I came across some answers, so my mind is probably corrupted and I don’t like cheating on this. It would be an insult to the minds of both the submittees before me and my own. My apologies.  Thanks so much!

Mycroft’s answer:

It’s nice to meet you Luci but might I say that is an odd form of spelling considering its nation of origin but welcomed nonetheless. Its refreshing not to see ‘Math’ marked as the least favored subject on one of these forms although it is sad to see that physical education has taken the part. I confess that I didn’t exactly hate the subject as much as I did sharing the class with a group of very unkind peers and doing so at my own pace. Had it been more tailored to my wants I believe that my current physique and health would be indefinitely better shape than it is currently. Finding confidence in doing something unfamiliar can be daunting especially when there is pressure to do well as an older sibling however, I find it oddly comforting to remember that not everyone is an expert so should a mistake occur you can at least claim you are human and therefore capable of mistakes time and time again. You may just be the first application from the Netherlands but rest assured if you understand English and Italian learning French shall not be too difficult of a task to accomplish.  Luci you seem like that if you can muster up the courage and the drive you could do great things with your life. Higher forms of science and English (especially when its not your country’s native tongue) are ones that like math, are often what can keep a person from entering higher fields that can better benefit society so finding them on your form was very comforting to see the youth of today going somewhere. I am more than ready to offer assistance should you come across a road block and pray that moving forward you will continue to do well in your studies.

Friendship:6.9

Mentorship: 8.3

Relationship: 4.5

Partnership: 5.2

[shortqueershakespeare]

Aw man :( What's up? Also do all the 5 times tables for all the questions posts! Alternatively (or additionally, up to you) do all the even numbers!

i love my anons so much you guys make me feel loved

i just saw some posts from my exes and it was a shock because I didn’t realise I was following them

imma do both these suggestions so here we go its gonna be a long one

2. How old are you? - 21 4.What’s your star sign? - Pisces 5. What is your favorite color? - Blue 6. What’s your lucky number? - 14 8. Where are you from? - The UK 10. What shoe size are you? - UK 3/4 12. What was your last dream about? - My ex apologising (idk why since he wasn’t really in the wrong but we were friends again in the dream so i woke up sad) 14. Are you psychic in any way? - don’t think so 15. Favorite song? - rn either wonderland by Taylor Swift or Midnight Love by girl in red 16. Favorite movie? - Legally blonde immediately comes to mind 18. Do you want children? - Yes 20. Are you religious? - nope 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - nope 24. Baths or showers? - showers as regular, baths as a treat 25. What color socks are you wearing? - no shit I’m wearing rainbow socks why am I always so on brand 26. Have you ever been famous? - nope, nor do i want to be 28. What type of music do you like? - pop, indie pop, indie, alternative, folk, rock 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - depends on thickness, one or two  32. How big is your house? - 4 bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, a bathroom, a shower room, a toilet, a pantry and another room 34. Have you ever fired a gun? - no 35. Have you ever tried archery? - yes! 36. Favorite clean word? - squiggly 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - i think i ended up hitting 52 hours in second year it was terrible 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - i don’t think so?? 42. Are you a good judge of character? - HA! when it comes to judging if people are good for one another, yes, for me, no 44. Do you have a strong accent? - i don’t think so, i guess its quite southern 45. What is your favorite accent? - irish 46. What is your personality type? i think i’m an enneagram 2 do with that what u will 48. Can you curl your tongue? - yes! 50. Left or right handed? - right 52. Favorite food? - avocado 54. Are you a clean or messy person? - messy 55. Most used phrased? -  that’s so on brand 56. Most used word? - gay 58. Do you have much of an ego? - don’t think so 60. Do you talk to yourself? - yes its the main way i practise languages 62. Are you a good singer? - i’m decent but am not used to my voice drop 64. Are you a gossip? - yeah 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - call me by your name is that dramatic?? pride?? idk 66. Do you like long or short hair? - god i’m never having long hair again 68. Favorite school subject? - drama n languages 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - no but i’d love to! 72. Are you scared of the dark? - no, i actually love the dark, i find it really calming 74. Are you ticklish? - yes 75. Have you ever started a rumor? - don’t think so 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - yes, i’ve been director of a play when i was 18 78. Have you ever taken drugs? - no 80. How many piercings do you have? - zero 82. How fast can you type? - NOT VERY 84. What color is your hair? - i don’t think anyone ever expects my answer, but rainbow lol 85. What color are your eyes? - blue 86. What are you allergic to? - as far as we know, nothing 88. What do your parents do? - mum is a teaching assistant, dad used to be pilot, his current job is too complicated for me to understand lolll 90. What makes you angry? - being taken advantage of, my friends being treated unfairly. 92. Have you already thought of children’s names, and if so what are they? - i love the name archana and scottie for girls, i like archie, ash or Dan for boys 94. What are you strengths? - I’m empathetic, generous and caring. 95. What are your weaknesses? - i’m stubborn, self-sacrificing and ruthless. 96. How did you get your name? - I picked it myself! i had a shortlist of ten, got mum to veto some, tried them all out with my two middle name options and narrowed it down from there 98. Do you have any scars? - most notably one from a fishhook, and then lots of pet/chicken wire/falling over scars 100. Color of your room?    - white 2: Tiny house plants or huge house plants?

- Tiny 4: Do you prefer painting or drawing? - drawing

What's your favorite type of sweets/candy? - flying saucers (i’m losing the will to format and honestly i’m impressed if u get this far this is mostly just therapy at this point)

Do you fold laundry or hang it up a closet?

- fold

When's the last time you saw a duck?

- two days ago

What's your go to comfort movie?

- moana

How old were you when you stopped sleepign with stuffed animals?

- bold of you to assume i stopped

Would you rather have Ice cream or a popsicle?

- ice cream

Dogs or cats?

- dogs purely because i have a puppy and i could never betray her

Do you have any tattoos/peircings?

- no

Would you rather live in a library where you can read all the books or a theater where you can watch every movie that shows?

- library

Do you consider yourself artistic?

- creative, yes, artistic, no

Do you have any siblings?

- 3

How long have you been on tumblr?

- since 2013 i think

If you had to live in the same world as movie or show what world would it be?

hogwarts

Vine or tik tok?

- vine

Do you sleep in matching pjs or just random clothes?

- random tshirt

Who's your favorite fictional character currently?

- draco malfoy or merlin

What was your first fandom?

- merlin

What place do you want to visit the most?

- spain or south america i think

If you could change one thing in history with no negative consequences, what would you change?

- eradicate genocide??

What was the first ship you obsessed over?

- MERTHUR

What's an appropriate guilty pleasure of yours?

- fucking vanderpump rules

Do you have any collections?

- washi tape

Do you have any specific kind of style?

- gay

Are there any conspiracies you believe in?

- no

How many blogs do you follow?

- 896

If you had to describe your tumblr with only 5 words what would they be?

- gay, pets, chaotic, writing, art

What hemisphere do you live in?

- northern

What's something from you loved your childhood that you still proudly like now?

- harry potter or football or spiderman

02:Ever been in love?

- yes

04:How tall are you?

- 5 something

05:How much do you weigh?

- no idea

06:Any tattoos do you want?

- yeah, some transition ones, some lyrics, some watercolour, some langauges

08:OTP?

- merthur

10:Favorite bands?

- stornoway, panic! at the disco, fall out boy

12:Favorite song?

- take care of yourself by maisie peters

14:Zodiac sign?

- pisces

15:Hair Color?

rainbow

16:Favorite Quote?

- “the world is seeming really huge right now. i need something to hold on to”

18:Favorite color?

- blue

20:Where do you go when you’re sad?

- my bed or outside

22:How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

- 20 minutes

24:Turn on?

- lip biting

25:Turn off?

- being too passive i guess? i’m a big sub

26:The reason I joined Tumblr?

- harry potter fandom i think

28:Last thing that made you cry?

- unexpectedly seeing photos of my exes

30:Meaning behind your url

- i’m a slytherin and a friend called me the shakespeare of insults

32:Last song you listened to?

- the good side, troye sivan

34:Last person you talked to?

- school friend

35:The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

- friends 

36:Favorite food?

- i swear i’m gonna change my answer every time, pancakes

38:Last place you were?

- WE’RE IN QUARANTINE

40:Last time you kissed someone?

- september i think

42:What color underwear are you wearing?

- blue w/ bananas

44:What color bottoms are you wearing?

- black and white

45:Wearing any bracelets?

- 4 rainbow, 2 trans

46:Last sport you played?

- tennis

48:Last prank call you made, doing?

- n/a

50:Favorite movie?

- moana 2. cloudy skies or clear blue

4. coffee pot or tea pot

5. matching or mismatched dinnerware

6. lambs or calves

8. wheat fields or cattails

10. picking apples or strawberries

12. comfy sweaters or flowing sleeves

14. trimmed hedges or overgrowth

15. piglets or foals

16. daffodils or tulips

18. yellow or green hues

20. crows or owls

22. hanging baskets or pots

24. pancakes or scones

25. birch trees or oak trees

26. toadstools or chanterelles

28. straw hats or dungarees

30. crackling fire or babbling stream

🎨 do you have any hobbies you regret quitting? would you consider starting them again?

- lots of sports, yeah

🎟 what are some artists/bands whose music brings back childhood memories for you?

- kelly clarkson, show of hands, basshunter, avril lavigne

🎻 if you began learning a new instrument today, which one would you pick?

- guitar

🔭 what’s your go-to topic to learn about when you’re bored?

- lgbt history, languages

🎞 what movie(s)/TV show(s) do you find comforting to watch?

- parks and rec, b99, the good place, cxg, chuck, one day at a time

🕯 do you have any self care activities you do routinely?

- writing

☕️ what’s your favourite hot drink?

- chai latte

💌 what’s something you love about the last friend/family member you texted?

- i could literally text her being like “i have not done anything ever” and she’d be like “i’m so proud of u tell me everything”

📆 what are you looking forward to in the next year?

- going to viennaaaa

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

- outgoing

4. Are you easy to get along with?

- yes

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

- yes

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

- either people who need fixing (disastrous) or people who care as much as i do (excellent)

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

- my best friend

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

- everyone i drunk texted tonight

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

- clean (taylor swift), wonderland (taylor swift), midnight love (girl in red), place we were made (maisie peters), she (dodie)

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

- yes and no

15. What good thing happened this summer?

- i fucking committed to putting myself first

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

- fuck no i respect myself

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

- no

20. Do you like your neighbors?

- i don’t know them well but yes

22. Where would you like to travel?

- baby we’re in quarantine i would settle for going back hom or visiting a friend

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

- my late nights with the puppy

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

- wow, my chest

26. What do you do when you wake up?

- grumble that i have to be up, play animal crossing til i properly wake up

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

- oscar, jules, umme, katherine, char

30. Do you ever want to get married?

- yes

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

- okay well ben platt immediately appeared in my mind but i think there would have to be someone dominant to balance it out so maybe ryan reynolds?

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

- okay so currently nothing really, but tennis and i used to play rounders, football, netball, gymnastics, judo, swimming, sailing

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

- without tv, youtube exists

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

- welcome to my life right now

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

- compassionate, caring, independent but likes to spend time together, plans fun dates

40. What do you want to do after high school?

- go to uni so well done me

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

- usually i’m sad or concentrating real hard (or reading a fic)

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

- ooh, ocean because definitely life??

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

- puppy

46. What are you paranoid about?

- being unloveable

48. Have you ever been drunk?

- yes

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

- white and navy

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

- my body?? or my self confidence

54. Favourite store?

- tiger or lush

55. Favourite blog?

- ballym

56. Favourite colour?

- blue

58. Last thing you ate?

- oreo chocolate

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

- i think for writing when i was younger

62. Been arrested? For what?

- no

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

- okay so context, my ex was about a foot taller than me so when i went for a kiss i totally missed and hit his chin and it was very sweet and utterly hilarious

65. Are you hungry right now?

- nah

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

- equal

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

- tumblr

70. Names of your best friends?

- okay i’m just gonna go with who i drunk texted tonight so, oscar, umme, char, katherine, jules

72. What colour are your towels?

- blue, purple, grey

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

- one or two

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

- in this house, at least 10, at my childhood house over 100

75. Favourite animal?

- tiger

76. What colour is your underwear?

- blue w bananas

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

- clotted cream vanilla

80. What colour pants?

- black and white

82. Favourite movie?

- moana

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

- gretchen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

- crush

88. Last person you talked to today?

- kat

90. Name a person you love?

- hannah

92. In a fight with someone?

- no

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

- at least 10 in my room rn

95. Last movie you watched?

- johnny english reborn

96. Favourite actress?

- rachel bloom

98. Do you tan a lot?

- a bit

100. How are you feeling?

- a lot better than i was when i started this tbh

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

- yes but lets not rn

103. Can you spell well?

yes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

- yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

- yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

- yes

108. What should you be doing?

- taking the dog out and sleeping

110. Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt?

- welcome to my life

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

- my sister i think

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

- yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

- no

116. Are you listening to music right now?

- yes

118. Do you like Chinese food?

- yes

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

- no

122. Is cheating ever okay?

- i would say no, but i don’t think things are black and white

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

- eh not really

125. Do you believe in true love?

- i believe in many true loves

126. Are you currently bored?

- nope

128. Would you change your name?

- already did

130. Do you like subway?

- yes

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

- oscar

134. Can you count to one million?

- i could but i have the attention span of a goldfish

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

- oh who knows

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

- closed

138. Curly or Straight hair?

- curly

140. Summer or Winter?

- winter

142. Favourite month?

- september

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

- dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

- both

146. Was today a good day?

- yeah i think it was, i just got overwhelmed

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“the universe is seeming really huge right now. I need something to hold on to”

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

okay its a russian grammar book we don’t need that energy at ten past 1 in the morning