#potential autism

[pastacatprod]

This year I started therapy and medications for the first time ever and it's been wild. My moods are starting to level out. I'm sleeping a little better. My therapist thinks I'm probably low level autistic. This shit's been crazy. I had to explain to him why I like to make Christmas Carol covers of inappropriate songs and he was very not amused.

What a time.

[localcoffeeshop]

i canr srop doodling and i have nothing to do but stew in my mind palace so heres a dump of various adventure time drawings across like 5 or 6 different canvases

[hihi-hello]

Immediately thought of this dropout bit.

[canisalbus]

Could you tell more about your face blindness, if you're ok with it? It's a kind of surprise to me that you have difficulty of recognizing people's faces because you are one of the artists who draw characters' expressions so intricate and eloquent, like a mirror towards their mental states. Do you think it has any impact on your art/art style?

First of all, thank you! I love drawing expressive characters ´v`

Sometimes I wonder if the face blindness is part reason why I choose to draw animals/furries/anthros instead of people, but other than that I'm not sure if it has contributed on my style.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

It Wasn’t Anxiety, it Was Sensory Overload

Neurodivergent_lou

[urpersonalpublicgalaxy]

trying something out

[intergalaactic]

i love the insane juxtaposition between how we talk about autism on tumblr vs on tiktok. on tiktok all everyone ever really discusses are the “easier” parts of autism, the “cute” ones like stimming, special interests and SOMETIMES, and HEAVY on the sometimes, they talk about the lack of tonal understanding and missing jokes and it’s like… dude that’s maybe 1/4 of what the Autism Experience™️ is… like i love tumblr bc we really talk about all the ugly parts on here like what is ACTUALLY means to go mute/nonverbal, or the daily struggles with hygiene and independence, the horrible feeling of knowing that you are fundamentally different from everyone around you and trying to mask but knowing they see through it and being compared to non human creatures to the point where you actually start feeling nonhuman!!! like okay missing the joke sometimes is annoying but yknow what’s worse? not being able to look after myself and knowing there’s a decently high chance that i’ll never be able to live alone. like i need tiktok autistic people to understand that in order for you to have autism, which is a disability, it does have to actually disable you first. i’m not saying that because they only post the “cuter” parts that they don’t have autism!! but like it’s an app full of teenagers and i feel the need to remind them that we all miss jokes sometimes, and we do all have interests and shows that we may really enjoy!! and that’s okay!!

but idk maybe i’m being bitter or smth i always get paranoid that i’m just being a hater but there’s not a single autistic person i know that hasn’t genuinely suffered bc of it in their lives whether it be in their social or personal or academic life. just a thought!!

[weird colours included bc huge chunks of text like this are gross to read otherwise lmfao]

[echosautisticcorner]

Carlos, Explained?? Yeah i can explain it's autism

[angelmachines]

teru & socialization

i've posted about this before but something ive been thinking about a LOT is mp100's themes of loneliness (and eventual connections). i think this is an aspect of teru's character (in particular) that gets left out because it's not as explicit but i've been wanting to do a deep dive on it for a while and i finally sat down to do it. just a warning, this post is gonna be LONG.

these two panels are from chapter 16 of the manga (which i'm using for my evidence because i. dont want to scrub through the anime LOL). initial sentiment: teru uses his powers to cheat having friends/a good social life and wouldn't have that if he tried earnestly. this is a fair interpretation of the scene. with what we know, at this point of time (as in within the teru-mob fight) teru would not be able to connect with other people earnestly, due to his mindset. which i think is a fair interpretation, HOWEVER:

(from chapter 17 ^^) the first panel shows teru's expression to be strained and the second is visibly unhappy. this puts the first set of panels into a different context, that maybe underneath all of this, teru doesn't WANT any of this life that he's built. keep in mind that i'm analyzing this with teru's possible autistic tendencies in mind & you dont have to believe he's autistic, im not your dad, but i do find this a pretty meaningful indication of masking if he were

(note: yes, the strain can definitely be read as comp-het, and i would agree but that's not relevant so go read this post on that instead)

even if the rest of these panels show teru content with his life, i think these expressions are pretty vital to how we read his life especially because we know so little of it. think about it, if you were a kid desperate for affection because you couldn't get it anywhere else, especially not in a way that would come off as "mature" or "unaffected", wouldn't you also look for validation in your popularity? even if it aligned you with people who you consider fundamentally different to you? my point here is that teru can't not stand out-- it's in his nature-- and we are shown how he tries to blend in & receive attention in the only way possible to him; which is to say that he molds himself into something that is palatable, likeable, and superior to other people. if he's nothing, like mob, he has spent his entire life covering up for it. if he fails socially, like mob, he has to be good at everything (even if he cheats to do so) so that everyone else can look past it.

(side note for my teru angst enjoyers: this is a panel of his mom. the mom who he hasn't seen in years. doesn't it make sense that, if he hasn't heard his mom say he's proud of him for literal years, that he would overachieve in response? not related to the autism thing i just have the teru bug. also don't be misogynistic in my notes both his parents suck we just get a singular mention of his mom)

so if teru couldn't meaningfully have friends before mob, that could very easily be because of his past mindset, right?

...except, we don't.. really... see him make other friends afterwards.

but, the awakening lab, right?

(ok i lied to you sorry there is one anime screenshot and thats because it stood out to me while i rewatched it earlier this month. sorry.) id like to bring attention to this screenshot during the cultural festival because the awakening lab can definitely be seen as a direct contradiction of this and i'd like to point out a couple things:

1) in this scene the shiratori brothers are in another room 2) them and the other three are friends with ritsu (or at least close enough acquaintances to want to see him).

considering this is one of the only times they appear together for Fun i am more inclined to believe this is an encounter where they went together because they all would've gone separately anyway. this isn't to discount the possible bond that these characters might have, but thats the thing. we... aren't really shown that they're friends and enjoy spending time together outside of this screenshot, where two out of six of the members are not even present. not to mention that teru is still placing himself in a role separate from his peers. despite stripping the superiority away, teru is still the awakening lab's mentor, not friend. teru still views himself as fundamentally different in a context where his psychic powers don't make him that way.

...except with mob. i bring this placement of power up because where he is the awakening lab's mentor, teru declares mob to be his rival, or, in other words, teru is just like him. he is accepting that mob and him are the same. (and if we view mob from an autistic lens... so on and so forth)

as if to hammer in that point even further-- in the summer vacation omake, teru explicitly states that "summer break is just a super long, super boring stretch of alone time." i'm not sure of the timeline here, but guessing from the hair, we're at least post season 1. which gives us explicit confirmation here that teru is spending the break alone despite his relationship to the awakening lab. his connection to mob is a lifeline here because mob is one of the only people who can intuitively understand teru's isolation without judgment

(also, on that point of teru's autistic tendencies: teru does and says a LOT of things that would raise other peoples eyebrows and doesn't seem to notice.

here we get teru actively admitting to his home life, right in front of reigen, WHO COULD CALL CHILD SERVICES ON HIM? this genuinely made me rethink this character entirely. teru's filter is... minimal. he isn't constantly volunteering information and generally minds his own business, but if you ask? Well.

teru is a social person, but to say he is proficient in understanding social situations seems... wrong. teru views his loneliness as boring because, despite being fairly open, does not actually allow himself to think about his own feelings and how they affect him. this loneliness is boring because he doesn't have enough of a reference to realize its not

if we are taking pre-mob teru to be a version of himself who is masking, or at the very least someone who is faking a lot of stuff in a less autistic sense, the fight with mob changes teru to the point where he no longer hides himself. in the same way that mob was able to shake teru's fragile superiority complex i think the change in appearance marks the end of the self teru had built up. from this point on we see him become a lot more... Him. his appearance and his fashion choices are, presumably, completely normal to him and we get no indication that he believes otherwise despite the reactions it gets-- which is... well, i wouldn't be writing this post if i thought it was one of his most neurotypical traits.

in fact, he seems... pretty oblivious to what other people think of him. which is an interesting distinction to make considering the intelligence we Know he possesses (which is not to say that you are unintelligent if you don't pick up on social cues, just that its common for media to depict it that way.) these traits are made pointedly, even if unintentionally, separate, ESPECIALLY when you note the amount of characters who Do ruminate on or stare at teru's appearance.

some examples. i don't even think this is all of it-- case in point.)

[awriternamedart]

saw a post about how flippy floppy gepard is in the story and i figured why not give my very gepard - oriented autism a go

The post mentioned specifcally how seemingly erratic Gepard's choices in the story are. Hes blindly following Cocolia , then hes letting the trailblazers into the city , then hes illegally letting them past him . But heres the thing , these really arent that erratic of changes - first of all , theres years Gepard has been under Cocolias command , and even though he was shown to question it he didnt act.

The explanation is in Gepards character description .

"A captain in the Silvermane Guards and an outstanding warrior of Belobog. He is meticulous and vigilant to the core and always true to himself."

Of Belobog. Note how it says hes a Captain in the Silvermane Guards , but he is of Belobog.

Gepards loyalty is not primarily with the Supreme Guardian, or with the Silvermane Guards. It is to Belobog.

When you take this at heart , his choices begin to make more sense with the story.

Note - Gepard is also used heavily as a literary device to represent the upper half of Belobog in a character , and this should be kept in mind as well.

He follows Cocolia because she convinces him its for the better of Belobog . When the Trailblazers arrive , he brings them to her because if they have a solution , he knows she is the best person for them to help and he trusts that they do . When they conflict in the fortress , Gepard is persuaded by them and his sister that the Trailblazers do in fact have the answer for Belobogs survival and because of this, lets them through .

And his judgement is proven right. In the moments he had to make these pivotable decisions - extremely key decisions might I add - He does let Belobog steer course for survival , he is key in that path as well .

Gepards loyalty does not lay in a single person . His loyalty lies with Belobog , and he chooses to follow and believe the people who he deems the best option to carry out this loyalty with .

Source - Gepard Landau Character Bio , Gepard Landau Character Story 2

also that line is what inspired akrasia lmao ok bye

[relaxxattack]

every time someone calls moirallegience just an alien qpr i wilt a lil like YEAH thats more or less the CLOSEST human thing but its also Literally Not That. like a qpr is fundanmentally not romantic and thats not even going into moirails whole Actual Purpose of calming ppl down. its just. aughhhhh pisses me off i see the confusion but, as aformentioned, aughhhhh

OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME TOO.... but i don't want to get petty at the people in my notes always saying "moirails are QPRs!" because in some ways that is the closest human thing so it's hard to be mad...

i think there's definitely some overlap in some ways. but NOT because moirallegiance and qprs are the same at all really, but INSTEAD because both relationships can be outside of popular human norms.

you know... like any relationship.

like the only reason the two really have overlap is because they are both committed emotional partnerships that aren't required to involve sex? that should be true for all romance, even if it's not the norm right now.

they're both just romances* that are unconventional to human norms, which makes people view them as the same thing when they're not.

i think the REAL issue here is that humans insist on using human words to understand things that are just, fundamentally, alien. can't we just appreciate alien romance for being... alien romance?

no, moirallegiance is not platonic, it's romantic. it's just romantic in a way you don't understand, is all. that doesn't invalidate that romance.

*in generalization, most QPRs are not romantic, because they are made up of aroaces who are life partners in a non-romantic way. however i want to disagree with you that none of them are romantic, because that is up to the partners in question.

[puppypeter]

having thoughts about richmond returning to training after lockdown and there's rules in place that they can train outside without masks but have to wear them in closed space where they're in close proximity (like the changing room) and how that would affect jamie and his understanding of other people. My dude already looks confused most times ted opens his mouths and talks in metaphors and americanisms, now imagine that and you can't even lip read to follow along.

[unlimitedgolden]

hey no offense but did we play the same DLC??? did we watch the same video???

Abuse??? the old couple being greedy??? pecharunts friends???? not to be autistic as hell but literally none of that happened??

the old couple loved pecharunt like their own son because they straight up didnt have any kids

pecharunt being like. a runt. a child. thought "wow this is great lemme get more of this" because it's literally a child with crazy powers who definitely doesn't understand the consequences of its actions yet, poor thing

the old couple didnt tell it to do ANY of that until the mochi and i quote "draw out the greed of anyone who ate them". thats literally what it does.

"they were just like that on the inside" no i dont think so, who DOESNT have greed within them? you are not free from greed. you literally see in the beginning how much they truly loved this lil guy

and you then literally see pecharunt doesnt "make friends" it obtained allies to use through the poison, it LITERALLY says that.

Theres a big BIG emphasis on the chains that are on all three of them !! it's the chains that come OUT of pecharunt!! it's ability isn't "Poison Puppeteer" for no reason. It's signature move isn't MALIGNANT chain for no reason either!!

I mean. Let's look at the other facts about the Loyal three such as the Scarlet Dex entries:

"After all its muscles were stimulated by the toxic chain around its neck, Okidogi transformed and gained a powerful physique."

"The chain is made from toxins that enhance capabilities. It stimulated Munkidori's brain and caused the Pokémon's psychic powers to bloom."

"Fezandipiti owes its beautiful looks and lovely voice to the toxic stimulants emanating from the chain wrapped around its body."

In the in game lore it tells you that they didn't always look like this, and the chains changed them AND, you guessed it, brought out their inner desires. Their greedy desires. So do you see how the old couple literally were never greedy, they didn't demand this as they were under pecharunts influence? there was no abuse??? and they did NOT get its friends killed either!! They didn't even know!!

Look how at the end of the DLC everyone is no longer under the effects and they have no idea how they got there. They only remember the moments before the mochi. So the real kicker isn't "oh how tragic pecharunt was in an abusive family and its friends were killed cus of their greed", oh no the kicker is:

Pecharunt was nothing but a child with an evil power that it clearly didn't know how to use, or didn't even intend for it to be used for such evil. It did what it thought was right, for the love of the only two people that it had known, only for it to lead to it's own downfall and the downfall of three other Pokemon who succumbed to the poison. Furthermore, Pecharunt never came home. Those old couple woke up not having a clue where Pecharunt, the pokemon they loved as a son, had gone off to and they died not knowing (this is an ancient tale after all). Hell, Pecharunt probably doesn't even know they're dead either. Nobody wins.

[anendoandfriendo]

You've seen "excluding neurodivergent people is ableist" and now understand "neurodivergency is disability" but now get ready for for this one:

Neurodivergency can be disability but not every single neurodivergency is, actually. Yes, even those who technically could qualify for a diagnosis under the DSM or ICD may consider their neurtype to be beneficial to them, actually. And some neurotypes can be adjacent to the DSM and ICD without actually falling into them!

Neurodivergency can be disabled but in the way all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.

The people seeing themselves as more abled for a neurotype that's disabling to you are not your enemies.

Break free of your chains, stop letting the DSM and ICD, the biggest perpetrators of ableism, define us and our communities.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Total Drama Psycho Noah AU, somehow Harold knows about Noah's true colors... He tries to tell some people the truth, but nobody will believe him... At the start of the TD Island Special Finale, he purposefully tells Noah boring facts, to annoy Noah into showing his true insane colors... But all Harold is doing, is making Noah want to escape... Boredom is Psycho Noah's kryptonite! 😂

One of Harold's many Mad Skills is his ability to detect the threats around him; like a spidey sense, but for lanky, kind-of-pathetic nerds.

But! Everyone just kind of brushes off Harold's warnings as him being overly paranoid. You know, since he has that whole "bullied by Duncan (and the rest of the Bass guys)" thing going on, everyone assumes that he's finding danger where there isn't any because he's trying to keep himself alert to any more bullying attempts.

Plus, during Island (and Action), Noah presents himself as one of- if not the most harmless person in their cast. He winces at being pelted by mashmallows, of all things. That dude isn't a threat to anyone.

So, being the honourable guy he is, Harold resolves to keeping Noah in check during their shared time on The Playa!

From what he's seen of Izzy, being bored/understimulated really does seem to be her kryptonite. Noah’s got the same vibes as her, so surely the same must be true for him! (And, surprisingly, Harold is right in this assumption.)

So he has to keep Noah occupied and entertained enough to prevent him from harming anyone else; in Harold's mind, what's more entertaining than Fun Facts? He follows Noah around info-dumping on subjects that Harold might have an interest in, but Noah certainly doesn't, which ironically has the opposite effect to what he intended.

Noah's not too concerned with keeping up the act around Harold- after all, they're off the show now, and no one would believe Harold's claims about Noah's true nature anyway- but finds that, after trying to intimidate Harold away with a patented Crazy Stare™️, that the other is too invested in info-dumping to actually pay attention to Noah himself.

So you end up with a Harold under the impression that he's doing something heroic by keeping a potential hazard mollified, and a Noah who's having the time of his life pulling whacky stunts in front of an oblivious Harold to see what finally grabs his attention.

Leading to the scene in the Playa episode where Noah's sarcastically miming out different suicide methods in front of an unaware Harold. Though, in this AU, he's probably miming out different murder methods he could use to kill Harold instead- which the rest of the cast would brush off as sarcastic and/or understandable (wouldn't you also be tempted to kill the guy following you around reciting Beaver Facts?).

The wider audience are just watching a guileless Harold metaphorically poke a sleeping bear with a stick.

[superunnaturalsammy]

I'm having a crazy obsession time and I'm fighting my demons. Every time someone posts about Supernatural and they just get all these little details wrong it makes me feel insane like... No the CW didn't scrap tattoo'ed Dean because of budget restrictions... The WB did. Because that's who owned the show first, the CW got it from them. Another annoying one is when everyone is like 'oh I love the aesthetic in season 1 and 2 it's so cool cuz it's on film' IT WAS ON FILM THROUGH SEASON 4 IT GETS A LITTLE BRIGHTER IN SEASON 3 CUZ THE NETWORK ASKED THEM TO DO IT BECAUSE THEY FELT LIKE THE SHOW WAS TO DARK AND DIDN'T MATCH WELL WITH THE OTHER CW SHOWS!!

IDK I know I'm being insane about this show.