#writing about it worked! my mind feels clearer now
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Some thoughts about Sherlock Holmes' The Hound of the Baskervilles
It has been a bit of time since I read the final chapter of this novel, time which I almost always need let a story fully sink in and to sort out my thoughts about it. But a week or two has passed and my mind is still not entirely made up - so I decided to write a post about it in the hope that typing it out will clear my mind somewhere along the way.
I loved parts of The Hound of the Baskervilles. I'm not sure I loved the whole of it.
It was delight to see Watson in an active role, actually figuring things out - if with a bit more impulsiveness than wisdom, which feels so typically him, especially with the added influence of Henry Baskerville who had a very similar energy. The start of this story had some excellent comedy: the skull-obsessed Mortimer, sir Henry being Upset about his stolen boots, Holmes being outsmarted, Stapleton chasing moths. What I missed in Holmes/Watson dynamics in the middle was made up by finding out how wonderfully sappy Watson sounded while writing to him.
I thought that Stapleton as a villain was quite well done. You are given reasons to be suspicious about him pretty much from the point where Watson first met him , yet at the same time Doyle managed to make him seem both too harmless and adorable and too obvious to be the main villain, so that was some clever writing.
There were some well-thought out twists. Never saw the convict being mrs Barrymore's little brother coming, nor Stapleton being a fellow Baskerville, though the man on the Tor being Holmes himself did not surpise me. The abuse of two different women playing out in the background gave this novel poignant tragedy and emotional depth, as well as the issue of Holmes not trusting Watson with the truth, and Watson's confrontation of it with him.
What I think I missed most was the thing supposed to tie this whole mystery, gothic horror-inspired thriller together: the thrill. And it's not like I'm just impervious to victorian environmental storytelling: I was very much chilled by descriptions of the mountains and forests and sea while reading Dracula, or the fog-obscured London alleys in dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde, and I can't really think of any examples at the moment but I'm sure Doyle managed to thrill me in other stories. Yet here... I missed a looming threat, an overwhelming sense of danger. You pretty much know from the beginning that the Hound is a real dog, for Mortimer says he found real dog footprints at the very start, so that pretty much cuts out the tension of 'is this supernatural?' The danger of a loose convinct on the moor also never really manifested itself, as neither Watson or Henry Baskerville is ever in danger of him, and he's a little forgotten within the narrative until he's pretty much elimated as a threat quite early on by the reveal that he's the housekeeper's little sibling. Watson's repeated descriptions of old buildings being scary/autumn being melancholy/the moor being moody and dangerous just never managed to convince me - perhaps a little too much 'tell, not show', perhaps because of personal positive associations with those things, perhaps because it feels a bit tired and overdone in fiction by now. Maybe in the time it was written, this angle was less cliché. I only found myself guinely scared for the sake of Henry Baskerville by the very end, yet even then it felt like more like tragic 'Holmes might be too late/might have fucked up' than suspense.
I understand everyone who loves this novel! Personally, as a whole, it just didn't quite work for me
#sherlock holmes#letters from watson#the hound of the baskervilles#writing about it worked! my mind feels clearer now
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gonna be a random thought to set down but just one thats been bubbling for a couple days so bear with me if you actually read thru this lmao but -
know theres always those posts that go around that say to not be afraid of setting boundaries or curating your space for yourself etc. and while those little reminders are always nice it is always an entirely different thing actually putting that into practice. and especially in cases where theres alot of entanglement with certain aspects of connections made ooc & ic in relation to yknow, rp and everything - makes things difficult to even consider unraveling just bc of how many layers and sometimes people or muses or plots that can be affected by setting & enforcing personal boundaries or looking out for yourself & your own best interests when it comes to how things may be affecting your mood or mental state.
august for me has very much been a sitting myself tf down and re-evaluating some things on a personal level and particularly with what im willing or not to tolerate or look past, and generally just focusing mainly on being at ease and not being so anxious with shit. and part of that is deciding to be actually more firm when it comes to what makes me uncomfortable or that tugs on a trigger etc rather than brushing it off. and for me at least the little stepping stones have been nice to see myself navigate towards in the last couple weeks and im proud of myself for that, considering ive habitually chosen for years to bite my tongue when things boundaries or thoughts/feelings are pushed or disregarded etc.
august ive been mainly focusing on just being a little more at ease & at peace for the most part and, it feels generally not so stifling or uncomfortable being in my little spaces again as it kind of has been for a while. easing back into things slowly so the burnout on a few fronts ive been dealing with dont get overwhelming but its just feeling nicer in my spaces again & rekindling that fun & love with things too.
sometimes things are simply necessary for your own well-being, even if it seems & feels mean or cruel or isolating to do. sometimes you do need to consider yourself first, and thats okay.
anyways.
good morning & have a good day everyone, im sending you all kind vibes & kisses to the sky <3
#[ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦. ] ── * the yappening.#i may still be sorta ?? quiet generally across the board but ive been poking at things bit by bit. just not stressing about it.#my biggest burnouts have mainly been w/ writing & then playing texas bc of certain energy being put out etc & despite texas'#on & off issues game-wise its just been nice to chill & goof off on call & not get worked up or stressed while playing recently.#i just feel cozier & after having things kinda numb me out on two fronts this year already im just happy feeling comfy again.#ANYWAYS ill slowly work on being Human again & do some prompt rebagels & inbox calls etc soon-ish. ive missed being more#active & generally more present / pleasant lmao the summer/heat depresso's been in overdrive but w/ things being at ease now#i feel a lot better generally & my minds alot clearer than its been in weeks. sorry ill shut up now but love & miss yall <3
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A Dragon's Wrath
Request: hello hello, how are u? Idk if u write for Harwin Strong, but I'm obsessed with this man, so if you're not taking requests for him, forgive me for being rude. So I wanted to make a request where the reader is the younger sister of Rhaenyra Targaryen, also daughter of Aemma and Viserys. She married Strong, and lives a dream life with him (they love each other very much, so please, Rhaenyra's children are not his 🫠) and the legitimacy of their children was questioned, of course the queen would never imagine that Harwin had a birthmark, which none of his brothers inherited from Lyonel, he being the only one to have it and ALL THE CHILDREN OF HARWIN AND THE PRINCESS HAVE THAT SAME BRAND, JUST LIKE THE FATHER'S. Maybe I went on too long and was stupid, sorry, you can do whatever comes to your brilliant mind, I just really wish the legitimacy of the children of the OC was proved by legal means and gave no right to be questioned even by the queen. Thank you for your attention, I understand if you don't want to do it 🤍.
pairing: harwin strong x targ!fem!reader
word count: 3k
warnings: mentions of childbirth, alicent being snakey
a/n: first harwin fic, harwin girlies lmk what you think!! for the sake of this fic, Rhae's children have Targaryen silver hair
In all the years the pair were married, King Viserys and Queen Aemma were blessed by the Mother with only two healthy, living babes. First born has been your elder sister Rhaenyra, whom you followed two years later.
Growing up the two of you remained close through your lessons and dragon riding, but as Rhaenyra grew older she would end up spending more and more time with her lady in waiting Alicent Hightower. Rhaenyra and Alicent being two of the only other girls your age in the Red Keep and their refusal to have anyone join them in their activities, you felt somewhat dejected by your sister's budding friendship.
This is what led you to find solace in the Red Keep's training yards. Day after day you watched knights, and knights in training, battle it out in the yard while you worked on your studies. It was there in the yard you saw him for the first time- your future husband, Ser Harwin Strong.
At the time you had no idea you would end up marrying him, of course, but you should have.
You'd heard all about Ser Harwin Breakbones, son of Lyonel Strong, one of your father's most loyal council men. Harwin's reputation truly preceded him and was rightfully earned.
You hadn't noticed it at the time, but you'd abonded your books and parchments in the stands by your supervising Septa as you approached the rail separating the stands and the training yard in an attempt for a clearer view.
Harwin stood taller than his opponents, shoulders back, sword in hand ready to defend himself. He watched his opponents carefully, calculating their next move. His short brown curls were halfway pulled back out of his face with a tie, exposing Harwin's jawline, much to your own enjoyment.
That afternoon you watched Harwin take down man after man without so much as a proper blow to his own body. He wielded his sword as if it were an extension of his arm in fluid, rushing movements.
When he had finally finished for the evening you applauded him, finally grabbing his attention as he had held yours.
"You are quite the swordsman, Ser Harwin!" you call out to him. "I feel much better knowing there are knights as skilled as you protecting my home."
Harwin grinned largely at your praise, twirling his sword in his hand for show as he approached the rail you supported yourself on. "I mean only to ensure you are safe at all times, my princess."
You smiled down at him now that he was almost right below you. "Well I have no doubts of your capabilities, Ser. I have a feeling you will do great things here, should you wish."
"You are too kind, princess," he chuckles. Then he looks up at the sky, towards the sun on it's way to set. "It is getting quite late, princess. Shall I escort you back to your chambers?"
The excitement and hopefulness in his face brought butterflies to your stomach.
"I would like nothing more, Ser."
After that night it was scarce the two of you weren't side by side, which all but pushed your fathers to wed the two of you.
Now you stood in those same stands, watching Harwin in the yard yet again, but now he's joined by your two eldest sons. Maevor has just passed his tenth and second name day, and Daeragon his ninth. Your two youngest babes, however remained with you and your maid and close friend, Malina.
Malina had first been assigned to you after your marriage to Harwin, and she'd stood loyally by your side as you birthed all of your children.
Malina's elder brother Ellion, a knight of the City Watch, stood closeby on the order of Harwin. He'd been one of Harwin's best men as you'd heard him compliment the younger knight on many occasions in the past. Being a Targaryen princess and wife of the Lord Commander in such uncertain times in the house of the dragon could be dangerous, and Harwin meant only to protect you and your babes.
Your first daughter, eldest of your month old twins, Naelora cooed softly in your arms as she played with the loose sleeve ends of your dress. You indulged her for a moment, raising your arm to lift the sleeve from her reach to tease her.
She gurgles in laughter, stretching her chubby little arms to grasp your sleeve once more.
The moment is over by the approach of Queen Alicent's lady in waiting, Talya.
"My apologies, Princess," Talya bows to you first. "But the Queen has requested Malina's presence for this afternoon."
Why would the queen need Malina specifically? Surely she could find another maid within the Keep to aid her?
Malina looks to you, pale brown eyes silently asking to stay. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, of course. After giving birth to your second son Daeragon, Queen Alicent began requesting Malina's presence more often.
Still sore from your labors, Harwin had taken the day off to aid you and watch over Maevor to allow you to rest.
You watched happily from your spot on the bed as Harwin held little Daeragon, to introduce him to his elder brother. Maevor, a boy of three years, stood as high as he could on his toes to get a peek over Harwin's bulk of an arm to get a glimpse of his brother.
Then your chamber doors open and Malina returns to your side after serving the queen all day. She approaches the foot of your bed, hands clasped together in front of her with her eyes cast slightly downwards.
"Malina, you needn't worry about me," you begin to dismiss her kindly. "I'm sure the Queen-"
But Malina shakes her head, brown curls following her, still refusing to meet your gaze. "I need to speak with you, Princess. And you, Lord Harwin, in privacy."
You share a concerned look with Harwin, who's joyfulness has been replaced with worry. In the time she's served you Malina had never been afraid to look you in your eyes.
He wastes no time escorting Maevor to his chambers just off your own, and placing little Daeragon in his crib next to your side of the bed. Harwin returns and stands dutifully on the other side of you as if protecting you.
"What is it?" you ask, and pat the bed in front of you for Malina to sit.
Malina makes no move to sit on your bed. "My princess," her voice wavers nervously. "I have served your for near half a decade now, and I know you to be the most true and kind person I have ever had the pleasure of serving-"
"Malina," Harwin interrupts sternly. "Speak it plain, what have you heard of my wife?"
Your heart thudded hard in your chest as you instinctively reached for Harwin's hand. He intertwined his fingers with your in an attempt to comfort you.
Malina takes in a deep breath before finally looking up to meet your gaze. "Queen Alicent requested my presence after your labors today for questioning."
"Questioning?" you tilted your head slightly. "About what?"
"Your sons," she answered swiftly. "She... She wanted to know if this babe looked like Harwin or..."
Harwin pulled his hand from yours, placing it on the hilt of his sword. "Or who, Malina?"
"Ellion," Malina whispers. "The Queen seems to believe that you spend too much time with Ellion, princess. She asked if I knew of any relations between the two of you, but I swore to her you are deathly loyal and would never-"
You move from your spot on the bed to bring yourself to stand. Harwin aids you as you steady yourself, then reach for Malina's forearm.
"You needn't explain yourself to me, Malina," you assure her. "I know you to be true to me, and you are one of the kindest ladies I know. You should go, retire for the night. We shall do the same."
Malina apologizes the whole way out your chamber doors despite your assurances. Harwin begins to strip his armor as you settle yourself back into bed.
Daeragon's crib sat just off the side of your bed, close enough for you to have a view of the newborn's little face.
Harwin soon joins your side clad in his nightclothes. You can feel his gaze on you, but you refuse to meet his gaze. Emotions ran rampant through you. You knew it must be the strain and high emotions of you and your new babe surviving the day, but you couldn't stop the rush.
It's when the tears begin to fall from your lilac eyes that Harwin wraps you up in his arms and pulls you back against him.
"My love," he cooes. "Sweet girl, do not worry yourself with the opinion of a misguided, jealous woman."
He raises his right hand to show off the inside of his right wrist, showing off the small, discolored patch of skin he inherited from his father, Lord Lyonel. A small, almost missable, seemingly insignificant patch of skin both Maevor and Daeragon had inherited.
Harwin leans in close, placing his lips against the shell of your ear. "We know I have fathered your sons, my love. Do not worry yourself with this, it is not worth it."
"You're right, husband," you hum, settling into your husband's arms for the night. "I'm just glad he's here, and healthy."
He kisses your temple softly. "You did that. You made him the healthy babe he is."
As you promised Harwin that night, you did your best to ignore the rumors pursued by Alicent. In the years following Daeragon's birth you'd heard more whispers within the court questioning your son's parentage, though you said nothing.
You tried your best to pay them no mind, other days they really got to you. But for now you simply obliged to the queen's wishes.
"Ser Ellion," you motioned your friend forward with one hand. He looked much like his sister as they shared the same nose, and brown curly hair, though Ellion's eyes were an elegant green. Still, no man in the Seven Kingdoms could come close to Harwin in your eyes.
"Would you mind taking my sweet Raemor from your sister? I'm afraid I cannot tend to both babes at once."
Ellion nods and leans down slightly to make a peaceful transition from his sister's arms. He wore an awkward grin on his face as he cradles the blanket wrapped babe the best he could in a full suit of armor. "It is an honor, Princess. Though I'm not certain he will be comfortable against such steel."
Malina bows and takes Talya's arm in her own. You know Malina's dislike for the woman, and you can only guess she's done this to ensure Talya is led away from you and your family.
You shake your head in response to Ellion yet keep your attention on your daughter in your arms. "It is no issue, Harwin holds them in his armor every day. He has with each of them."
A moment passes in silence and you look up to your husband and eldest children. Maevor's brown curls are just long enough on the top to be tied back while leaving some down thus his hair is relatively tame. Daeragon's, however, is tousled and absolutely untame.
Both boys are breathing heavier now, their cheeks flushed. But the beautiful, pure look of excitement on their faces melted your heart. They knew their father was Lord Commander of the City Watch, and that Harwin worked hard for his family at his very important job, and they treasured their father for it.
After taking them to see Harwin train with some of the new recruits of the City Watch two fortnights ago had been a mistake on your part for the boys had not shut up about training themselves. At first you had been hesitant, of course other Targaryen princes had been taught to fight years before your boys, but you were afraid of the things they might encounter so instead you encouraged them to spend time in the libraries and their respective dragons.
As a result the boys were extremely well read and years ahead of their pupils in their studies. Maevor is practically fluent in Valyrian now, and Daeg is not far behind.
Their insistent pleading had wore on you though, and you gave in to them with Harwin's reassurance he would personally oversee their training. In the end, Maevor and Daeg's immediate joy at being granted permission made it worth it in the end.
Harwin and the boys were cleaning their training gear and putting it away.
Ellion clears his throat, pulling your attention from your family. "I fear something is happening, Princess."
"What do you mean?" you ask, standing from your seat and brushing your skirts with one hand.
"I have been approached twice now," he explains carefully, watching who was sat in the immediate area. The closest people sat on the complete opposite of the training yard in those stands. "Once by a fellow knight, and then by Talya herself. I only mention this as a warning, Princess."
Harwin and the boys are nearly there and you don't want the boys to hear such slander.
"Thank you, Ellion," you force a smile to give him. "And I apologize for what has been whispered around court these last years, but I plan now to make it right."
Harwin approaches you then, slinking one arm around your waist as he presses a kiss to your temple. "Come, my love, the boys need to bathe and our littlest ones must be ready for their nap."
Maevor perks up, "Mother, may I carry Naelora back to your chambers?"
Your hearts melts at the question, Maevor ever the doting older brother. You grant your son permission, gently reminding him to hold her head carefully.
"And I shall take Raemor from you, Ellion. I thank you for your services for today."
He bows respectfully, "Tis my duty, and an honor."
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
Once the twins are down for their naps and the older boys off to the bathhouse with Malina you informed Harwin of everything that had transpired this afternoon while he trained with the boys.
His thick brows furrowed almost immediately, angre written upon his face. Harwin had shed his armor by now, settling for more comfortable leathers for the evening. His sword however, stayed attached to his hip with one hand gripping the hilt.
"I am sick of hearing your name and reputation tarnished by fools!" Harwin seethes, angrier than you've ever seen him. "I have half a mind to slay them all down for even thinking such things of our children, of you."
You shake your head softly, approaching him to cup his face. You press your forehead against his own, something you've always done to comfort him.
"I have a plan, my dutiful husband," you assure him. "I happen to have a wonderful relationship with my father by law, if you must know. And I just so happen to know that a Small Council meeting starts in mere minutes."
Harwin eases a little, but now he's wrought with confusion.
"What have you planned, my love?"
You smile mischievously and press a sweet kiss to your husband's lips. "Just you wait husband, I first require our Maevor."
The boys are back from their baths by now as you can hear them bustling about Daeragon's chambers, which is the adjoining room to your own.
You knock before you enter as you always do, to the sight of your boys on Daeg's bed, books sprawled open before them.
"What have we there, byka zaldrīzoti (little dragons)?" you ask as you join them on the bed.
Daeg pulls the leather bound book to cover his lap to show you. "The Histories of Old Valyria!" he chimes. "Maevor was reading it to me in Valyrian."
You stroke Daeg's plush cheek with one hand, still able to see the babe he used to be in his face, and take Maevor's hand in your other.
"He's smart, your brother," you 'whisper' to Daeragon. "I would study hard, my Prince."
Maevor breaks his hand away to rustle his brother's brown curls. "Muña's teasing, Daeg. You are smarter now than I was your age."
You swoon, heart melting at the relationship between your boys. "Oh my sweet Maev," you kiss his temple. "Might I borrow you for a awhile, I have something important to discuss with the Small Council and I need your help."
Maevor's brown eyes widened slightly, "Of course, mother."
"Have no fear, sweet boy, I have a plan."
And you sure did. Once you explained what you could to Maevor while sparing his innocence best you could, he'd been more than willing to join you.
You squatted down to be closer to your son's level, Harwin by your side. "You are special, Maevor," you explain to him. You grab Harwin's right hand and Maevor's to put them side by side. Both birthmarks were near identical save for Harwin's being larger and slightly darker than his son's. "Each of my babes have this mark, all from Harwin, who inherited it from your grandsire, Lyonel. Do you understand?"
He nods, but says nothing. Harwin crouches down next to you, reaching to cup his eldest son's face.
"I wish we did not have to burden you with such a task, my boy," Harwin admits grimly. "I want you to know we are only doing this because we love you children, and I love your muña too much to let people speak of her in such a way any longer."
So the three of you set off, accompanied by Ellion as Malina had stayed behind to watch the twins and Daeragon.
Despite the Kingsguard outside the meeting room of the Small Council, you march right past them and push the doors open yourself.
Each member of the council turns to you now silenced. Otto sat up straighter in his seat as he looked towards his daughter. Alicent looked shocked to see the group of you, and you noted her visible nervousness.
Lyonel stands and comes to Harwin's side, demanding answers most likely. Harwin begins whispering in his father's ear, explaining the situation.
"Sister," Rhaenyra stands, hand placed over her round stomach. "What is wrong?"
You cross your arms over your chest, eyes blazing as you glare at the Hightowers at the table. "Since the birth of my Daeragon I have endured vile slanders against not only myself, but my marriage, and every one of my children."
Alicent shifts uncomfortably in her seat.
"Princess," Otto pokes in. "I can assure you-"
"Assure what?" you snap, slamming down on the table to lean towards the Hand. "Alicent has been the one to pull my ladies from me just after giving birth to insinuate my babes have been fathered by knight of the City Watch who is not my husband. Even now, a month after having my twins, I am approached with more blasphemy. No more."
You usher Maevor forward, who happily extends his right arm before you have to ask. Harwin joins you, followed by Lyonel, both of whom put out their wrists as well.
Alicent's mouth widens in shock before she grits her teeth. Even Larys' wears a look of shock as he checks his own wrists, coming up with nothing.
"I am tired of my children being put under scrutiny," you say finally. "And of my loyalty to my husband being questioned. Now, if you all do not mind, I would like to enjoy the rest of the day with my family undisturbed."
You step back from the table to leave when Rhaenyra wraps you up in a hug. "I am so sorry, sister," she whispers.
You assure her with a simple kiss to the side of her head before reaching for Maevor's hand.
The boy is practically bouncing on his feet as the two of you make your way back to your chambers, both Harwin and Ellion following close behind.
"She is very scary, your wife," Ellion admits to Harwin lowly. "I would to want to be on the receiving end of her wrath."
He only chuckles, "No, nor would I."
#harwin strong x reader#harwin strong#ser harwin strong#harwin x reader#harwin breakbones#ser harwin x reader#harwin x you#harwin strong fanfic#harwin strong x you#harwin strong fluff#hotd x you#hotd x reader#house of the dragon x reader#house of the dragon x you#harwin fluff#harwin angst#ser harwin angst#ser harwin x reader fluff#harwin lives au#hotd au#reader insert#reader#reader imagine#reader fic#house of the dragon fanfic#harwin breakbones x reader#harwin breakbones x y/n#hawrin breakbones x you#wife!reader#mom!reader
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Intuitive Free Writing
(Decided to make this its own post.)
Free Writing is a method of journaling but can also be used to communicate with entities such as deities. It can also help to develop your clairs. It's pretty simple to do and you can also do it via typing or probably even voice recording if those are more accessible for you. It involves writing your stream of consciousness without worrying about grammar or spelling.
Here is how you can do it:
Grab a notebook or whatever you are going to write/type with. Include a timer if you want to set a time limit.
Set up in a space where you will not be interrupted and have nothing distracting you. It can be quiet or with instrumental music (avoid music with lyrics unless you want to see if certain lyrics pop out to you).
Make an offering (optional) and pray to/invite the deity you want to speak to.You can use a divination tool to confirm their presence if you wish.
Ground and center yourself in the present. You want to get into a receptive, meditative state or as close to it as you are able to have.
Start writing. I usually start with something intentional to get the ball rolling such as "I am listening" or whatever just to get my hands moving.
Write everything that comes to mind or into your awareness - and do not try to control any of it or make judgements about it. You are just receiving right now. Don't worry about spelling or grammar or anything like that. If you smell chocolate then write that down. If you feel dumb doing this then write it down. If your mind is blank then write what you hear or smell or see or just write that your mind is blank.
You may notice in the moment that some things feel different or are definitely not your own thoughts. It may be easy to know what is your deity's message or it may not. If you do notice/feel something then you can write it down or make a little note with a symbol like a * or just be aware of it and continue.
Stop when the timer goes off or when it feels right or when your deity has delivered their message. Thank them.
Read over what you have written. I like to use highlighters here: one color for what was definitely my own thoughts and another for what I am certain is from the deity. You can also have a color for sensory observations, or wherever you're uncertain about where the thought or image comes from, or if you notice something that may be more towards the shadow work side of things or negative thoughts, etc.
Make a note on your experience. How did you feel? Did you sense any energies? Did you feel something different when you were getting down certain words? Reflect a bit on the experience.
If you want you can copy the results into a neater or summarised format then do so! If you have messy handwriting and some words are a mess then go in and make it clearer what the word is. You may look back months later and you don't want to be confused what word that one scribble is supposed to be! I have two journals, one to do this exercise in and one woth the neater notes and summaries.
It may take time to get comfortable doing this and to develop discernment but I've found it very helpful personally!
EDIT: This is not Automatic Writing. AW is when a spirit physically moves your hand so that you don't know what you're writing and is more akin to invoking and channeling (aka possession).
#free writing#paganism#helpol#paganblr#hellenic polytheism#hellenic pagan#divination#deity communication#not automatic writing#but because people keep thinking it is I will put it in the tags#automatic writing
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*licks teeth and pins u against the wall* so uh...how bout one of those big bro leon fics, *I say with a glint in my eyes*
Purist.
Big Bro! Leon X F! Reader (smut)
A/N: *quivers and covers chest nervously* w-w-well, i-i guess i could write a— a little something... *eyes shift awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with a gulp* uhm... here. i, uh, i hope you enjoy... (some of the dialogue is inspired by the 2007 movie teeth :3)
Tags: incest (brother-sister)/(daddy-daughter mentioned), coercion, dub-con, religious themes, allusion to p in v/a /no real penetration mentioned, fingering (anal and vaginal f receiving), brief mentions of previous sexual assault/abuse
Wordcount: 2.1k
You spent the entirety of your mid to late teen years obsessed with God. With purity. With salvation. Your parents dragging you and your brother, Leon, to church must've eventually struck a cord with you. Ever since the youth pastor chewed up that bubblegum and offered it around to everyone, making the point that nobody wanted a tainted 'treat,' the idea of staying untouched seemed to just click into place for you. Your body was a sacred thing, not to be touched or looked at lustfully by any man.
Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation, as the great St. Augustine said. Why not swear yourself to chastity? A bond of complete celibacy, of purity, promised by you to your Lord.
Unfortunately, your big brother didn't seem to feel the same way.
Leon was your exact opposite, in the way that he couldn't spend a night alone. While you would sit in your room, reading or studying like a proper girl, the wanton sound of a random female companion of his would rip through the paper thin walls of your parent's house. Every night, or what felt like it, he would bring home a 'date,' as you called them, though, he would sooner call them 'easy sluts.'
You weren't easy. Leon liked that about you. Every crude joke he made at your expense, wether at the dinner table or in the brief expanse of the hallway near your rooms, you shut down immediately. You were too maidenly for your own good, and unafraid to show it. Oh, he really liked it. Not like those other whores he'd snatch up on the way home, were you? His boyish, smug grins did nothing to bring you, his darling little sister, to your knees in the way it did other women your age.
Maybe that was why he did it— bringing those girls over. He knew good and well you could hear them— hear him— through the thin walls. He could tell based on the way you looked at him with scornful eyes the morning after as he accompanied the umpteenth girl of his to the front door, tactfully kicking her out with the promise of calling her back. Of course, he did no such thing, the womanizer that he was. He'd wink at you. Taunting you.
Maybe he did all of this to tempt you, to show you what you were missing out on. Maybe he was sending you a message. An offer? No. The more likely option was that he just liked to tease you. Yes, that seemed more 'brotherly.'
It was another night. Another sleepless night of being tormented by the lewd sounds coming from your older brother's room. You could practically hear the individual squeak of every spring in his old mattress as he used whatever girl he had with him now. You heard her muffled voice. Poor girl must've had her face pushed into the pillow. Maybe she was ugly. Leon always let the pretty ones look at him while he sexed them up— you could tell because you heard their voices much clearer in the night.
It was nearly melodic. Hearing almost every movement between the two. You could piece it together in your mind, and before you knew it, you had your eyes tightly shut, imagining the scene.
You pictured it in more detail than you thought the Lord would be appreciative of. You saw your brother's toned back with his tapered waist, his taut muscles clenching and coated in a slick sheen of sweat as he worked his hips against a faceless girl's heat. It was a dance. You seemed to imagine it more passionate than it sounded. Where the girl next door was certainly getting pounded, your imaginary girl was being treated tender and soft. Gentle strokes accompanied by a firm grasp.
You were yet again reminded the next day of how much different your real brother was to the version of him your mind conjured up the previous night. Not nearly as sweet, that was for sure.
You pushed into his room, not bothering to give him the dignity of a knock. That was another thing he liked about you. For how meek and God-fearing you seemed to be, you could be a real bitch to your dear ol' brother. He found it sort of funny, the juxtaposition between how you really were and how his lackadaisical manner made you act.
"We need to talk about your girlfriends," you said, slamming his door behind you. The breeze caused by the door made a few of his classless pin-up girl posters swish upwards, hanging on for their lives against the black walls of his room by the tiny scraps of tape he stuck them with.
"Don't have any," Leon said casually, legs spread and arms over his chest. He tossed a baseball up and down, catching it in his palm as he leaned his head against his headboard.
You huffed and stomped over to his bedside to snatch the baseball. He let you grab it, shooting you an amused grin as you palmed the ball far too big for your hand.
"Well, whatever you want to call them—"
"Let's just call them whores, yeah?"
"I'm not going to call them that," you spat, eyebrows raising into your hairline. "Your 'friends.' How about that? Your 'friends' need to stop coming around. I can't live like this. I can't sleep!"
"Awh, poor thing. Your grade in 'prissy bitch' class must be dropping now. Y'fall asleep during your stick-up-the-ass exam, college girl?" he asked, nose scrunching teasingly as he eyed you. He reveled in how your offended look grew.
"Can you take anything seriously, you ass?" You dropped his baseball to the floor and kicked it under his bed, to which he mumbled 'bitch' and an additional explicative or another under his breath. "Last night was ridiculous. I didn't get a wink of sleep. These walls aren't nearly as thick as you act like they are."
"Oh, you heard that? What, it turn you on or something?"
You stilled, arms rising back to cover your chest defensively. It didn't turn you on, per se, but it did something, that was for damn sure. You weren't about to confess that to Leon, though. Not if you had a choice.
"No, it did not 'turn me on,' Leon. Do you hear yourself when you speak, or does everything come out on instinct?"
"Instinct. So, Virgin Mary, what're you harassing me about now? You don't enjoy the sweet, sweet sound of random chicks getting smashed?"
He sat up straight, back flush to his headboard now as he turned to face you.
You got a good look at his features. Looked a lot like your dad. Score! Perfect excuse, suddenly coming to mind.
"No, I don't. I'm sure daddy doesn't appreciate it either," you said, trying to guard yourself with the veil of your father.
Leon snorted. "Well, I guess daddy dearest will just have to come tell me himself then, won't he? Seems like he's too drunk nowadays to hear anything," he said, voice nearing bitter territory.
"Don't talk about dad like that," your voice taking on a more protective edge in your father's defense. "He's going through a rough time. He doesn't need your shit."
"And I don't need yours. This whole abstinence thing has your horse pretty high, you know." Leon shifted his legs over the side of his bed, elbows resting on his knees. Most of the humor he had left in his voice had drained out, being replaced with a seriousness. "You aren't slick."
You narrowed your eyes at him, eyebrows pinching together. "What are you talking about?"
"Come on, sis," he said, mocking tone lacing the nickname, "we both know who you're saving yourself for, and I've been real patient up until now. I'm not gonna wait forever."
You wanted to repeat yourself, you wanted to ask just what the hell he meant by that, but he interrupted your train of thought.
"You think I couldn't hear you listening like a little pervert? Hell, even before I started bringing girls home. I couldn't jerk off without seeing you peeking through the crack in my door. Like I said, you aren't slick. You act like you're all hard and saintly, but you're just a nasty pervert, aren't you?"
So many thoughts ran through your head. So many emotions. Embarrassment, for one, at the fact that he knew of your dirty secrets regarding him. Anger at how casually he was airing this information. A strange warmth, as well, at how he teased you. You should've been screaming at him, at twisting this around on him, but you couldn't.
"I'm sorry," you managed to squeak out, eyes dropping to your feet in shame.
Leon just hummed in response, clearly not in dire need of an apology. In fact, he looked rather unfazed, like it was no problem for him at all.
"If you want to apologize, you can bring your little ass over here. Sit down, pervert."
"I don't know why you're acting so fidgety about this. You give it up to dad all the time, what's so different about me?"
Fuck. Leon really knew everything about you. This entire night was like having someone read your diary out loud to you, hearing every 'secret' you thought you had kept so well.
"Shut up," you said, eyes clenched shut tightly as Leon curled his fingers up against your g-spot again. You bit back the urge to whine or moan. With how much he was teasing you, you didn't feel that he deserved the satisfaction.
"Wonder what everyone would think. Daddy's good girl is good for more than she lets on, huh? Bet everyone already knows. There's no way a girl like you hasn't been taken before. Ain't a man on earth who wouldn't try it, y'know?"
You hated how that made you tighten around his fingers. Was that really what made you cum? Your brother calling you rapeable? The entire situation was so far out of your wildest imagination. A far cry from what the other girls he entertained had experienced, you were sure of that.
Or, maybe, the way that he let your face upwards was what did it for you. Last you remembered, the rule was pretty girls faced up, ugly girls got flipped. Guess that counts for something.
"I'm real fascinated by your pussy," Leon said after a few moments of silence. He was sitting between your legs, cock sprung free from his boxers as he kept his fingers plugged into your hole. He watched as your hole continued to kick and squeeze over his two digits.
"I can tell. You won't stop lookin' at it," you mumbled, trying and failing to prop yourself up on your palms.
"Not what I meant. Just meant it's pretty."
You don't know why you blushed at such a meaningless, near-objectifying compliment. A small part of you said that if Leon had seen so many in his life, and he said yours was pretty, then surely that meant something. You felt honored, in a weird way.
"Bet it'll be even tighter around my cock."
"What? No, no, we can't do that, Leon," you said quickly, pulling away from his finger with a squelch. You tried to pull your panties up, but he stopped you.
"Who says?"
You thought about it. You wanted it, sure. Really bad, actually. So, who says? Who said that you couldn't take a brief pause from chastity? You quickly told yourself what you said each time your father got a little too drunk a little too late a night and missed your mother a little too much.
"Just be gentle," you said, exactly how you would on the nights where you looked a little too much like your mother.
"Don't worry."
You expected to feel his cock swab against your folds. You expected to feel the eerily familiar pinch and stretch of being penetrated, but it didn't come. Your walls clenched almost eagerly around nothing.
Instead, your eyes widened in shock at the feeling of a finger trailing around your asshole. Leon aimed his head forward and spat a fat glob onto your rim, rubbing it around to coat your hole.
"Wait— Leon! Don't do that," you whined, feeling him finger sink in and stretch the ring of muscle.
"You aren't a true-virgin anywhere else, sis. I wanna pop this cherry before someone gets to it before I do."
God, he was cruel. What was crueler was the way he prodded another finger into your hole like it was nothing. At least he had the awareness to spit again, coating the middles of his fingers in an attempt to ease the pain in your end. It worked, as well as spit could.
His head dipped down and his tongue latched to your clit, giving it a few purposeful sucks before pressing a kiss to it too, piercing eyes looking at you from between your thighs.
"Besides, anal doesn't really count, right? Isn't that what all you pure-not-so-pure girls say?"
#cw incest#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x you#brother! Leon Kennedy#brother x sister#resident evil x you#resident evil#resident evil smut#resident evil x reader#leon s kennedy smut
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Hi! Could you do an imagine where dean and sam have a younger sister and she has a nightmare and ends up sleeping between her brothers?
omg, sorry for the delay, I really was lacking creativity!!
You can make a request in the comments or by asking me a question!
(Please don't be shy to ask, I'm very happy when I have a request to write)
You can see the list of who I write about here
"The Monster Is Gone"
Pairing(s): Dean/Sam Winchester x Sister Reader
Gender: Angst, fluffy
Warnings: Nightmares, monsters, lots of blood and disturbing writing for more sensitive readers
——————♥︎♥︎——————
My childhood memories were never clear, only blurry images and meaningless phrases wandered through my mind when I tried hard to remember.
A part of me thanks my brain for not allowing me to remember, since I knew the images would be too disturbing for a budding teenager, but when Dad went hunting, disappeared and I had to be under the care of my older brothers during the hunts, everything changed.
I still remember when I had the first memory, it was after a hunt where a student came back from the dead seeking revenge. We were in the car, Dean was driving, and Sam was by his side, in silence while I was in the back seat, still processing the information of the case when the memory came. A blonde woman in pajamas ran through the hallways of a house with a child in her arms, who I soon realized was me.
Over the next few days, I began to dream about it, and as the dreams went on, the images became clearer. One day I realized it was nighttime, and the girl carrying me was wearing red pajamas. Two days later, I realized that the pajamas weren't red, they were white, but they were stained with blood. It was on that day that I started to avoid sleeping as much as possible, afraid of finding out whose blood was on her clothes.
That was 4 months ago, and during that time, each day that passed I saw a little more of that night, and now I knew that the woman was my mother, and the blood on her clothes was my father's, but the worst part was knowing that there was something following me and my mother.
I never told my brothers about this, I know they would be worried, and we have too many things to worry about, like ghosts and demons, and I didn't want to take their minds off work.
We were coming back from a hunt, Dean was driving, Sam was in the passenger seat sleeping, and I was in the back seat, trying my best to avoid falling asleep, but the book I had in my hands to keep me awake wasn't working, and little by little, I rested my head against the window, and fell asleep.
And there I was, crying in my mother's lap while she held me against her chest, with her body against the door, the thing that was chasing us walked calmly through the hallways, and slowly reached behind the door where we were. He knocked once. My mother put her hand over her mouth to keep from making noise. He knocked a second time. I could feel my mother's hands shaking. The third knock was so loud that my mother was pushed from the door, detaching me from her body. When we looked back, he was there.
He was tall, had no face, just a blood-stained mouth and sharp teeth. His fingers were long, and his nails were also stained with blood, just like the black suit he was wearing.
My mother, in an attempt to protect me, pushed me against the wall and covered me with her body, making a human shield. I could feel her tears wetting my pink pajamas as I heard her scream.
"NOT MY DAUGHTER, PLEASE! SHE'S JUST A CHILD"
In response, he let out a frightening laugh. In a few seconds, he pulled my mother and threw her to the floor, while she tried to fight, but the thing was strong and held her without effort. The next scene was the worst.
He opened his mouth, showing his huge teeth and then immediately struck her neck, making blood gush all over the room.
I watched that scene, cowering and scared in the corner of the room while I screamed, begging him to let my mother go, but that must have made him feel even hungrier for her, since he raised his long arm and struck her belly, cutting her skin with his sharp nails.
At that moment, I looked at my mother, who was staring at me with her lifeless eyes, wet with tears of pain.
"Y/N! Y/N, wake up!" I heard a voice call out
"Wake up! You need to wake up!" Again, and this time, louder.
At that moment I woke up. Sweaty, with irregular breathing and a dry throat. I looked ahead and saw Dean and Sam looking at me. We were stopped on a dark road.
"Is everything okay?" Dean asks, meanwhile, Sam opens the car door and gets out, opening the back one and getting in, sitting next to me.
"Okay, sure." I answer nervously, trying to compose myself.
"It didn't seem okay while you were screaming," Sam says, handing me a bottle of water, which I gladly accept.
"It was just a dream, I'm fine." I try to convince them, but by their faces, it hadn't worked.
"If it was just a dream, I'm even afraid to know your nightmares," Dean says and starts driving again.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Sam whispers in my ear, and I try to hold back the tears, while I just nod my head in agreement.
"There's a motel a few minutes from here, we'll spend the night there," Dean says and continues down the road.
It doesn't take long until we arrive at the motel. It was a classic roadside motel, but it was enough.
Dean and Sam get a single room for the two of them, and one for me.
I didn't plan on sleeping that night, so when the boys went to their rooms, I grabbed some snacks from a vending machine and went to my room, turning on the TV to a channel that was showing a series, with the intention of distracting myself from the memories.
I manage not to think about my dreams for 2 or 3 hours, but at one point, sleep begins to set in, and little by little my eyes close, but I always realize that I am about to fall asleep, and I wake up with a jolt. I turn off the television and go to the bathroom.
I take off the clothes I was wearing and get in the shower. The hot water hits the tense muscles in my shoulders and relaxes them in a few seconds. I close my eyes and throw my head back, wetting my hair and face. I massage my scalp with the intention of relaxing, but I quickly tense up when I feel a sudden cold, despite the hot water.
I step out of the shower and dry my eyes with my hands, and when I look at the curtain, I can see the shadow of something behind it. Something very similar to the Being from my memories.
With my heart racing and my breathing irregular, I open the curtain in a quick movement, but relax when I find nothing on the other side.
I turn off the shower, still confused and scared by what happened before, and put on some warm pajamas.
I think about lying back down on the bed and watching the series again, but I look at the bedside table and see the spare key to my brothers' room that Sam gave me in case of an emergency.
Without thinking much, I grab the key and go to the next room, unlocking it slowly, not wanting to alarm the boys.
I open the door and close it behind me, when I turn around, I see Sam, still awake, sitting on the couch that was in the room with a book in his hand.
"Hi, did something happen?" He says quietly and puts the book aside, coming to me.
"I'm scared." My eyes fill with tears and I hug him. I feel his big arms holding me tightly, bringing me closer to his chest.
"It's okay, little one. I'm here." He kisses the top of my head as I sob against his soft shirt.
"Come, lie down with us." He pulls away and goes to the bed.
"Dean, go over there." He pokes Dean's shoulder, making him wake up half-dazed and ready to curse his brother, but stops when he sees me crying next to the bed.
Dean pulls away and I lay down next to him, Sam laying down next to me, making me be between the two of them.
"You're safe with us," Dean whispers, going back to sleep.
"You don't have to tell me what you're afraid of, but know that I'm here for you when you're ready to tell me," Sam whispers behind me.
"I'm having dreams. Actually, they're not dreams, they're memories from my childhood, before Dad adopted me. In these memories, a monster or whatever it was killed my father and mother, right in front of me."
"You don't have to be afraid. Dad told us about this story. He came when the monster was on top of your mother and killed it before it had a chance to hurt you. Sleep, and don't worry about your dreams, the monster is gone, it's dead, and your brothers are here to protect you from anything."
#sam winchester#dean winchester#supernatural#supernatural one shot#sister reader#sam and dean#dean winchester x sister!reader#sam winchester x sister!reader#the winchester brothers#john winchester#female reader#oneshot#fluffy#imagine#supernatural imagine#x daughter!reader#castiel#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x y/n#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x female!reader#dean winchester x you#sam winchester x you#teen reader#supernatural x reader#supernatural x you#one shot#sister#big brother#x female reader
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To Lose a Dream
Summary: Leon would make any amount of wishes to make his dreams come true, but the events of Racoon change your lives forever. (Leon S. Kennedy x reader)
Word Count: 3.3K
Notes: ✨ Second Leon done! ✨ I feel it's a little rough only cause my eyes are so tired. This was a chunky piece to write so please keep that in mind haha. Roughly a third through this challenge, I don't know what I'll do with myself not writing for you all every day haha, it's honestly been such a fun month. I feel like I haven't kept some of the past themes well/ I made them vague and mentioned them in like one line, but I hope this one is clearer! Back to some DC ones in the next few days. Enjoy~! xx
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You didn’t know what to expect, coming alongside Leon.
Worry ate at your bones, staring out the window of the car as you hurtle towards Raccoon City. The rain batters at the windows, tracing patterns on the glass as you try to make out any shapes in the darkness. A hand on your thigh snaps you out of your stressed sighing, catching sight of Leon. He's got his eyes still trained on the road, the rain hard and heavy.
"He's going to be fine. I promise."
Leon does his best to soothe you, but the vice grip around your heart still doesn’t let up. You put your hand over his, curling your fingers around his larger digits. "I don't know." you say, voice tinged with fear. He squeezes your hand back weakly, the little comfort that he can provide right now.
"I'm sure it's nothing serious. Your brother hasn't answered a few calls? maybe he's just busy." Leon tries to say, keeping his tone light-hearted. "Either way, I'm sure he will be happy to see you. How long has it been since you talked?"
"He didn't call to wish me a happy birthday." you murmur, head leaning against the window. "We talked just last week."
Leon shrugged. "Maybe he just got busy?" he tries to delicately put.
"He doesn’t just miss those calls. He always makes sure that he calls. Something just feels wrong, I know it." you whisper, fist clenching in your lap. "Not to mention your work called you and told you not to come in. All my friends in raccoon aren't picking up either. I can't manage to get onto the Raccoon City news channel. Doesn't that worry you at least a little?" you stress, voice rising.
He waves his hand gently, trying to get you to lower your voice. "I understand, I do. But let's go into the city before anything happens, okay? It'll only hurt you more running through ‘what if’ scenarios before we even get there. We just need to hold it together a little longer, okay?"
You sigh in defeat and turn away, making Leon bite his lip and focus on the road once more.
He hated fighting with you, hated seeing you upset. He couldn't help the way his heart sank when your turn away from him, and he can't stop the voice in his head telling him that it was his fault. Even if you told him otherwise, he ached seeing you so stressed. You had come to him crying that night worried that your brother hadn't called you like he did annually, more so when the phone wouldn’t even connect to his when you tried to return it. Seeing you so distressed he let you come with him to Racoon City, knowing he was heading in for his first scheduled day. He just wanted to alleviate your worry and anxiety, but now Leon was starting to feel like he had just made it worse by bringing you along. You kept talking about the feeling in your gut, the cold that seeped to freeze your heart over with fear.
He kept brushing it off, doing his best to assure you that everything was okay, but as he pulled up to the outskirts of Raccoon City, he knew he should have believed you.
He should have turned the car around when he saw the smoke, when he saw the fire flickering off the windows. Should have listened to you halfway down the highway the first time you said you felt anxious and taken you both home. Then you both would have been safe, anxious and worried, but safe, nonetheless. Instead, he drives forward, eyes widening in the carnage as you roll to a stop. Cars and buildings are on fire, debris and shattered glass scattered over the road.
"I think we should-" he tries to say around the lump in his throat, but the sound of a car door slamming breaks his thought. His eyes widen with fear, blood cooling as he sees you through the windscreen glass, running down the street.
He jumps into action like he's been shocked, running from the driver’s seat and unbuckling himself like he was branded. "Hey!" he calls out, voice stern but terrified. He pushes his legs to catch up with you, lungs burning when he finally does. "Do not run off on me, you understand?" he yells, spinning you around to face him. You turn, studying him. Panic is etched onto every line of his face, pupils shifting rapidly as he checks you over. "This isn't safe, we need to think. It's not safe for you."
"But it's safe for you?" you snap back, making him falter. "I'm not leaving till I find my brother. He might be trapped here, with no one to help. I have to know what's happening." tears burn at your lashes and your hands wipe them away. His heart shatters and he pulls you in for a tight hug, like the both of you aren't standing in the middle of a crater ridden road. "it's gonna be okay, I promise." he whispers into your hair.
He wished upon every star and every cell in his body that he could rewind time so that you never found your brother.
Very quickly the both of you realised that something awful had happened to the city, when the first resident came ambling after you and nearly took a chunk out of Leon's arm. Now both of you were sneaking into around your brother’s neighbourhood, armed with only some wooden planks you ripped from a boarded-up store.
You were adamant that you were going to find your brother, and you resisted every time that Leon tried to bring you back to the car and away from all of this. When you finally saw the figure of your older sibling, you thought you were about to collapse in relief. With a sigh and grateful tears springing to your eyes, you called his name, wood weapon dropping from your hands.
You couldn't hear Leon's screams for you to get back over the thudding of your feet on the broken-up road, eyes too blurred with tears to see the way that your brother walked with a limp. When you threw yourself on him you squeezed your eyes shut, about to sob in happiness. However, when you felt him turn to embrace you back, a blooming pain ran through your shoulder.
With a shriek your eyes fly open and you try to push him off, ears rushing with the sound of blood and Leon's shouting. You look into the face of your brother, his visage more flesh than skin. His skin was puckered and eyes a milky white, hair patchy and skin blood drained.
He was gone.
"Get off!" Leon hollers from behind you, swinging the plank directly into your brothers- no, the zombie's face, and sending it staggering backwards. He catches you as you stumble back, pulling your flush against his chest. Your hands fly up to try and staunch the sticky flow of blood, shock beginning to settle in.
"Hey, hey, look at me." he commands, eyes darting between you and the corpse struggling to get up from the ground. "We need to get going, can you do that for me?"
You look back, breath hitching as you see what remained of your brother. You remembered his smile, his hugs. The way he lifted you up when you were little and swung you around the room while you pretended to be a superhero. Now all that remained was a blood hungry pile of flesh and bone, filled with a dark malice.
"Sweetheart, you need to focus."
Leon's tense voice cuts through the fog in your mind, his hand coming to press down hard over yours on the wound. You manage a shaky breath and a brief nod of your head, an action that make you wince as your shoulder burns violently.
"Okay, okay, let's get you somewhere safe." he murmurs mostly to himself, an arm coming around you to keep you close to his side. His heartbeat races with worry, scanning his brain for anything. This wasn't his city; he hadn't even visited before tonight. You provided the directions up until now, but with the ragged way you were breathing, you weren't really in the position to help him. in the distance, his peripheral vision strikes a hit.
The sign of the RPD burns itself into his vision, and he quickly reroutes his steps to hurry there.
"Hold on, just a little longer." he says quietly down to you, anxiety peaking as he watches as you half stumble over your own feet.
He wished on the moon and the sky that he had never brought you to the Raccoon City Police Department.
Within, you had both found yourselves befriending an officer named Marvin, who was injured similarly to you. Leon had gotten chewed out pretty badly for showing up regardless of the call that told him not to, something Leon defended in the way you know only Leon could. You were resting on a spare stretcher next to Marvin, bite patched up weakly with some bandages that were already damp with red.
Despite the situation, you couldn't help the smile that flitted over your face when Leon came back into the room, dressed in the RPD uniform.
"Don't you look handsome." you say softly, making him chuckle. He comes to lean down by your side, giving you a quick peck on the lips. "I'm starting to think that you just like a guy in uniform." he teases, a light blush dusting the bridge of his nose.
"Could you blame me?" you tease back, and he shakes his head with a light scoff. He helps you sit up, and you swing your feet to touch the marble floor of the RPD lobby. You wished you could remember the sparkle in those bright blue eyes, before Marvin made him go to the office to fetch something. You followed after him softly, despite your boyfriend's insistence that you stay back to rest.
"It's not that far." you say softly, pointing in the direction. "Just that room, okay?"
He had looked to Marvin, but the older officer looked away and held his hands up, muttering something about not getting involved.
That's why you were here now, watching him forlornly as he gingerly traches his fingers along the wood that was going to be his desk. His back rounds as he leans on the desk, blonde hair flopping pathetically as he tries to hold himself together.
'W E L C O M E L E O N ' hangs above the desk in yellow and blue, decorated just for him. You watch just behind him on the small stairs overlooking the area, letting him have the moment to himself. He sinks lower so he can sit in the chair, staring up at the decorations with his hands in his lap. You can imagine him here during the day, the hustle and bustle of the office around him. You imagine his coworkers flitting around him, giving him smiles and maybe even ruffling his hair. You can picture his wide smile, your favourite one, stretching across his face as the older officers give him shit for being a rookie.
The memory glows like a warm sun, a golden hope that flickered between the both of you. The ideals that he whispered to you when you went to bed, his tone soft and giddy even though he tried to control it. His hopes, dreams and plans for the future he told you with a soft smile, eyes hazy as he let himself daydream before drifting off to sleep next to you.
Your hands clench on the banister, heart aching. The first day he never got to have, but the first day that he had dreamed of ever since he graduated the police academy.
The first day that he deserved.
You watch your boyfriend take a deep breath, and the golden 'what if' that played around him like a movie faded away until it was just you two back in that cold, dark, room. You go to call out to him, but you voice wavers like there’s a block in it. You only make a half-gurgled sound, eyes rolling into your head as the world spins.
As soon as he hears you hit the ground behind him, he's up and out of his seat, panic flooding his senses for the second time. Leon half drags you back into the adjoining room, setting you back onto the stretcher. Marvin is by his side in an instant, fingers going to press against your neck.
You can hear them talking, but it's like there's an undercurrent of thought.
So hungry...
You groan at the intrusion in your mind, making Leon shush you and grip your hand. "Don't try to speak." he says softly, worry tinging his tone. Despite both of their hands you try to sit up, whole body burning. Your skin feels too hot, like a frog realising it's been trapped in the pot. Your breath feels short and tight in your chest, vision swimming as you try to make out the people in front of you.
"How are you feeling?" Marvin asks, and your eyes flit over to him. you shake your head.
"Bad." you croak out. "It feels bad. It feels really really bad." you cry, face splitting into a sob as your shoulder pulses painfully. "it's all hot everywhere, and it's hard to breathe, and it all hurts."
You hate these people...
You close your eyes to try and prevent the words that wriggle into your mind, twisting and warping like worms. You shake your head. "I don't feel good. Please." you splutter. "Please what do I do?"
Lean turns to Marvin, frantic in his words. "What do I have to do? How can we help?" he rushes out, grabbing the older man's arm. However, Marvin doesn't respond, face grim and taking a step back from you.
"She's turning fast." he murmurs lowly, regarding you with caution. You writhe, still seated on the stretcher, not even feeling the dull pain when your overheated body collides with the marble floor. Leon goes to help you up, but Marvin holds him back.
"You have what was in the box on your desk?" Marvin murmurs, making Leon's breath hitch.
"Yes." he breathes back, eyes wide and fearful. "You don't mean to-"
Marvin nods. "I'm sorry, son. Look at how fast she's changing. She'll hurt you. She isn't changing normally."
And you weren't.
Your skin felt like it was on fire, causing you to shriek and wail in between your hiccups and sobs as you rolled on the floor. It felt like there was fire consuming your entire body, scorching your nerves and arteries. You look up at Leon through hazy eyes, pushing onto your hands and knees. "Leon," you rasp. "Leon, help me. Please. Please, please help me." you sob. It feels hard to get air into your lungs from the hands of panic closing around your lungs. You manage to crawl, looking up at him through tears.
Leon himself has tears dripping down his nose and cheeks, eyes wide and skin pale. There’s a tremor in his body, his breathing short. he doesn’t look entirely there, but he takes a deep breath before looking at Marvin.
"No. No, I can't do this." he says, voice breaking. "Where's the cure? You bastard, tell me where the cure is!" he yells at Marvin, face scrunching in desperation. Marvin shakes his head, leaning on the wall to support his own weakened body.
"That is the cure, son." he tries to say softly, but it's hard with the young man raging in front of him.
"Cure?" you croak, making Leon look down at you. He makes a heart shattering sound as you look up at him, his lips wobbling. That's when you see the gun shaking in his other hand, half hidden behind his body, and you freeze. You begin trying to crawl away backwards.
"No, no." you murmur, voice weak and shaky. "Please, no."
Your skin is itching violently, like a million mosquitoes came to take the blood from you, leaving welts in their wake. "Please, Leon. I wanna live. Please no, I'm sorry." you voice breaks and tears stream down your cheeks.
You hate them, YOU HATE THEM....
You hold your head and wail as the thoughts get worse.
SO
SO
SO
SO
HUNGRY.
"Please Leon, please." your murmur, rocking back and forth. "Leon, please, save me. spare me, please." you whimper, but you aren't sure if you even manage to pronounce the words properly. Your vision feels murky, and as you tip your head up you can hardly see out of your right eye. Your left eye takes in the blurry image of Leon, red faced and wiping frantically at his eyes.
"Leon, I love you." you call out weakly, a pitiful sound crawling from the depths of your throat that resonates in the quiet lobby.
Leon wished on whatever god and heaven above that after what he was about to do, they would let you through their doors.
Leon feels like he can't breathe. His heart is racing so hard he thinks he might have a heart attack, or the organ was going to speed right out of his chest. The only thing in his ears is the rushing of blood and the thumping of his heartbeat. His lips are stained with tears, eyes feeling like they're about to swell from the pressure from crying.
He wanted to believe you. He wanted to save you. He wanted to love you.
You still had days together, a future that needed to be made. But when he saw you as you looked up at him, the way one of your eyes was already a milky white and the way your skin seemed to pucker, he knew you were going. His heart tore at every scream and wail of desperation that left your lips as you writhed in pain, and he felt his soul tear every time you begged for him to listen, to not kill you. The way you begged for your life like he was some kind of executioner.
But he knew in the bottom of his heart, that you were gone. You were fading in front of him quicker than he could preserve the memory of your face, or the way your face split when you were smiling instead of screaming. He knew it in the bottom of his heart when you hit the floor rolling off the medical bed, not noticing the blood that trickled from your temple when you sat up. You were unaware of the way your lips spilled blood like a waterfall onto your chin and chest. You didn't say anything about the way your skin inflamed and warped, the veins in your arms filling with a sickly hue. Yet with your one good eye you pleaded with him, the only thing left of you the colour that he adored.
The colour he made his stationary so he could think of you even while he was at work. The colour that he went and bought a tie in so he could match you for events and Christmas parties. the colour that he had daydreamed you passing on to kids one day. He watched the colour fade from your left eye like he was watching a sunset, the beautiful hue slowly become murky while your mouth still wordlessly pleaded at him.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart," he whispers, although he isn't even sure if you can hear him with the tremor in his voice. He raises the gun, gripping it the way that he was taught. "I love you too."
Then there was a bang, a soft thud, and the lobby was quiet once more.
September 30th, 1998.
That was the date that Leon lost the two most important dreams of his life.
#messenger of babel#angstober 2024#day 20#fanfic#angstober24#angstober#angst#leon resident evil#resident evil#leon kennedy#leon x reader#leon s kennedy#resident evil 2#resident evil remake#resident evil x reader#resident evil x you#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy angst#re2 remake#re2#re2 leon#re2make#leon scott kennedy#leon s kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x reader#re2 leon kennedy#leon re2#resident evil 2 remake#re2r
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hope this isn’t weird but the end of the luca blurb you posted where they both get hurt on accident has made my mind run haywire thinking of luca and assplay,,,
i have been........... thinking about this a lot i fear. uh oh!
contains: semi intoxicated & unprotected sex, spitting, ass fingering (idk how to say this gracefully okay), slight mention of spanking. some dom-ish!luca vibes hehe. afab!reader!
this isn't my normal style of writing but i'm just a little rotten at the idea
i think it'd have to start when you were both a little tipsy, inhibitions lowered. you jokingly bent over the table when you got back to the apartment, groaning and struggling to kick off your shoes while you relax across the cool table.
he'd catch you struggling from the corner of his eye and come over to grab your hips, chuckling to himself. "you're gonna hurt yourself if you keep this up."
squatting down behind you and grabbing ahold of your ankle, gently guiding you to lift your foot off the ground so he can slide your shoe off before following suit with the second shoe as well.
warm hands cupping your calves and running along your legs. "luca..." you'd groan out, causing a shiver to run through his body.
the energy would change so quick.
he's squeezing your calves and kissing the back of your knee when he feels you rustling around above him and suddenly your panties are being pushed down your thighs. if he was of a clearer mind he'd probably tease you about how easily you got these off verses the struggle of your shoes.
but he's not.
luca's standing up so quick and unbuckling his jeans, the sound of his zipper being undone causing your breathing to pick up. you're reaching back to pull your skirt up to the middle of your back, exposing yourself to him and the two of you work in comfortable silence. desire pushing the interaction along.
your chest is flat against the table, hands reaching back to spread yourself open for him. you hear him gasp at the sight. as a reward there's a finger pushing into you without much warning, neither of you wanting to waste any time.
the mess of whines and pleas falling from your lips is making him dizzy and he doesn't take long before you feel his finger slide out and the tip of his cock gliding between your folds. he's letting out a groan at how wet you feel that causes a surge of... pride? in your chest. knowing you're pleasing him.
"fuck you need this bad." he grumbles out and you'd respond, a panicked noise of agreement combined with a mess of begging, but instead he's pushing into you before you can respond.
you cry out, arching your hips so he has a better angle as he gives you a moment to adjust before picking up his pace. he grabs ahold of one of your hands, pinning it to the small of your back while your other hand still clutches your own ass.
"very good, so fucking good." he'd praise, his hips clapping against your body with each deep stroke.
he's going to spit on your pussy, adding even more lubrication to your already soaked core, but with the combination of lust and liquor in his brain he... misses.
and now his hips stall as he watches his split slide down your backside, dripping over your clenched hole he's never had to courage to ask you to explore yet. you two were just a few months in, still getting comfortable.
"luca... why did you stop?" you sound pathetic and he can barely register your words as he slowly starts moving his hips. without thinking he brings his hand up, dragging his thumb through the spit and applying the softest pressure to your hole which causes you to gasp.
both of you stall for a second, luca shocking himself by being so bold. "i'm so sor-" he goes to apologize, but instead he feels your pussy squeeze around his length and you start to fuck yourself back on him. "a-again..."
he's glad to do as he's told. the pressure returning to your tight hole which makes both of you moan.
the combination of his pace picking up combined with him exploring is sending you into orbit. "relax for me, love." you do, letting your body melt under his touch and he spits down onto you again.
your arms give out and the one that was holding yourself open falls to the side while the one under his grip weighs heavy against your back. a gasp falls from your lips as he pushes into the tight ring with his finger. even with just one you feel so full. "oh fuck!"
luca watches in amazement as your orgasm hits you suddenly and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't proud of himself. his finger stays buried in you while he fucks himself in, letting you both savor the feeling of the aftershocks of your peak. neither of you expected you to finish that quick, speaking to just how aroused you ended up getting.
he's cooing down at you. "you want me to fuck you here next." not a question, a statement. he already knows you too well. you're nodding as your body goes lax against the table, breathing heavy.
a few minutes pass and he's popping his finger out of you, smacking his hand against your ass sharp enough to leave a faint hand print before pulling out of you.
"go get in bed, we're not done."
your legs were already weak but you feel like jell-o now as you nod, shakily standing up and letting him support you as you walk to the bedroom for what's bound to be a long night.
#chef luca x reader#luca the bear#luca x reader#i wish he had a last name#chef luca smut#luca smut#will poulter fic#will poulter smut#the bear fic#the bear smut#luca x you#chef luca blurb#chef luca x you
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don't get cut on my edges || gojo satoru x reader
synopsis: Gojo is easily bored, you're the latest enigma that's caught his interest. He sets off in trying to figure you out. Lucky for him, you're coming on the week-end trip Shoko's planned for the week-end.
“Was I off script?”
You look up at him.
“You’re always off script.”
word count: 5.4k
genre: college!AU, fluff, slice of life
cw: unresolved sexual and romantic tension, reader has anxiety and is socially awkward, she/her is used for the reader, a little suggestive, overall very sweet and fluffy
a/n: this was fun to write! any feedback is appreciated, and i hope you enjoy my writing here :)
soundtrack
Gojo knows that people talk, knows that they talk shit, knows that there isn’t a soul on campus that doesn’t have an opinion on him. He can tell that eyes follow him around when he walks into a room, that his presence is enough to shift the atmosphere at a gathering, that some people roll their eyes at him while others try their best to catch his attention. It’s a lot to take in, for just one person.
Fortunately, he’s proved to be incredibly gifted in the art of not giving a fuck.
Then again, he’s incredibly gifted in most areas of life. Truth be told, he thinks people aren’t giving him enough credit for that. Sure, they tend to know that he’s a physics major, but that’s just tangential to what they know about the rest of him. He’s not just kinda good at physics, not some dude that goes to college mostly for the parties and then get a meaningless job at daddy’s company, no, he’s the fucking best, and he works fucking hard to be able to claim that title.
But that doesn’t really fit in with the rest of him, and at the end of the day, who cares? He certainly doesn’t.
With all that, it’s not statistically unlikely for him to catch people talking about him.
Well, he’d have to conduct a detailed study to calculate the exact odds, but with how much alcohol is in his blood at this very moment, it makes sense to him that it would happen.
Still, for people to be talking about him at a party he is at, in front of an open window, you’d think they would have some sense of shame. Not that he has any room to talk, because shame is not part of his vocabulary, but like. Come on.
“Gojo really can’t take not being in the spotlight for more than ten seconds, huh?”
That voice, he’s quick to identify, even if he can’t see her face from where’s he’s standing under the porch, belongs to Mei Mei. Aw. Bummer. They’d spent quite a lot of time around each other, have friends in common, slept— Wait, have they slept together? He can’t say for sure anymore. It seems to have slipped from his mind. Oops. Maybe that’s why he’s getting that treatment. Maybe he deserves it.
There’s a scoff, and really, the acoustic of this place are impressive. It feels like he’s straight in the room with those people.
“What else do you expect from someone who’s always had everything served to him on a silver platter?”
And that would be Noritoshi Kamo. Man. That was one of the few kids in the families his parents insisted on frequenting. They used to be sat next to each other at the kiddie table while the adults talked about the important stuff. They never had much in common — not then, not now. And, after all, maybe Noritoshi has a point, after all. His mother wasn’t a mistress, wasn’t turned into an outcast, and he’s never had to pretend he didn’t hear the loud whispers that tarnished her name. Yeah. Sounds like these two aren’t saying anything new after all. Not that he’s gonna change, y’know, but he already knows who he is, and he is all that.
“That seems like a very mean thing to say about a friend,” a quiet voice comments.
The world freezes.
A silhouette appears to go along with the voice, then a blurry face, then the picture becomes clearer. A figure sitting next to Shoko, giving him sweet, polite smiles when he approaches. Not chatty, kinda shy, pretty cute. Would get quiet when he was near, though, so he hadn’t paid a ton of attention. He’s used to giving it to people who asked for it, who wanted it.
You’d never asked.
But you’re… not wrong. He’s not sure why he hadn’t picked up on it himself. It is a mean thing to say.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Mei Mei protests, “I love Gojo, but you know I’m right about this.”
“Yeah, and I’ve known him my whole life,” Kamo adds. “It’s just a fact, we’re not talking shit.”
There’s a silence. Gojo’s invested now.
“I don’t know him that well,” you say. “Like I said. It’s just a mean thing to say about someone you hang out with every day.”
“Come on, don’t act like—”
“I think I’m going to go, actually,” you say. “This feels super shitty.”
“What the fuck was that?” Mei Mei laughs, just a second later — presumably after you’ve left the room.
“She wants to fuck him, I guess,” Kamo says.
Well, you’re making one hell of a headway then, because he’d do you so hard after that.
When he walks back in, you’re chatting with Shoko. You give him your usual, close-lipped smile, don’t quite make eye-contact. If you’re trying to get in his pants, you have a very original way of getting it done.
“Who was your friend again?” he asks Shoko, later that night. She answers without looking up from her phone.
“She doesn’t talk much when there are new people around,” she warns him. “Leave her alone.”
“When have I ever bothered anyone—”
She reaches to smack the back of his head, misses and gets the nape of his neck — that’s the downside about being so tall, there’s just a lot of him to hit.
“Don’t make her uncomfortable. That’s all I’m asking.”
He wasn’t planning on that. He’s just— curious. Intrigued.
It’s unlikely to last, though. He’s been known to get bored easily.
You’re already in the car when he gets in. Well, okay, when he gets shoved inside by Todo, despite his protests that his legs are too long for the backseat. You’ve squeezed yourself in the middle seat, with Shoko on one side, and him on the other now. There’s a bag of snacks in your lap, yet you still try to shift yourself to give him a little more room. It doesn’t help at all, but in your defense, the only thing that could help would be to buy a new car.
“Is everyone ready?” Suguru asks as he adjusts the rearview mirror.
“Sure,” Shoko says.
“Let’s go!” Todo shouts.
“No,” Gojo whines.
“Yeah,” you say, completely drowned out under the rest.
“Good,” Suguru hums as he starts the engine.
Gojo pouts, but he doesn’t insist. Well, he doesn’t make any more of a scene than he already has. Truth be told, he could have taken Todo — dude might be all brute force, but Gojo has brains and brawns, thank you very much.
But he’s curious, still, and he hasn’t been given enough information to quite satiate his curiosity. Everything he’s gathered about you says that you mind your business and keep to your corner.
So why did you say that to Mei Mei and Kamo? It makes no sense, but Gojo’s never met an equation he couldn’t solve.
That’s an overstatement. Obviously there are equations he can’t solve. Yet. He’s sure he’d figure it out eventually. Like he’ll figure you out. See? That metaphor does make sense.
Suguru’s music is playing in the car. The sun is still low in the sky, the day is quickly getting warmer, and the phone says that they’ll be at the beach in two hours.
Satoru closes his eyes. Fun fact about him? He can fall asleep anywhere he wants to.
He wakes up with his face smooshed against the window, a hand tapping his shoulder carefully.
“We’re here,” you say, giving him a smile and then shuffling to leave the car from the other side.
Todo’s already running towards the beach, while Suguru and Shoko are getting the bags out of the trunk. Somehow, Shoko manages to sling a bag over his shoulder, but he takes off before she can stuff the cool box containing all the drinks in his arms.
He then lies to Todo to get him back to the car, so that he can carry the damn thing. Shoko better thank him later for that.
He catches up with you, and he sees your eyes widen a little when he approaches, as you visibly search for something to say. He can’t resist the temptation to shoot you a grin. There’s a light breeze in the air, but he won’t be fooled that easily — with his skin, he’s going to need an insane amount of sunscreen, if he wants to survive the day. Which makes him think, actually—
“Wanna help me apply sunscreen?” he asks.
“Huh?” you say.
He leans towards you, looks into your eyes from over his sunglasses. You appear to be fully frozen in place, only swallowing once as he gets closer. His grin gets wider as he takes in all of you, and he’s once more fascinated by the idea that you had been able to say something to Mei Mei and Kamo but you can barely face him.
His gaze drops to your parted lips.
Then the bottle of sunscreen smashes against his cheek with impressive precision.
“Todo can help you put that on!” Shoko offers as Suguru starts setting up a parasol. “Right, Todo?”
“Of course I will, my brother,” Todo say as he appears, but by then, Satoru has already started running for his life.
“Just kick him in the balls if he pulls something like that again,” Shoko says.
“Oh, no, it’s fine,” you reply, shaking your head in mild horror. “I just— I don’t— know— how to react sometimes. But he doesn’t bother me.”
That statement has her raising an eyebrow at you, filled with doubt, but she doesn’t insist.
“Play nice,” she does warn Satoru once more, later on. “Don’t push it too much.”
“Aw, Shoko, are you saying you wouldn’t approve of me?”
“Do whatever you want to,” she replies, rolling her eyes, “but give her more space. She’s not used to you being… you.”
Satoru rests his chin on his knee. He’s taking refuge under the parasol for now, and you’re already in the waves with Todo and Suguru. You seem comfortable with Todo, laughing at something he said, less so with Suguru. It all looks like a lot of work, all to satiate his curiosity. He’s all about committing to the bit but— he doesn’t know about that one.
This, too, all this thinking and questioning, is a lot of work, though, so he ends up shrugging it off.
“Are we getting in or what?”
“Absolutely not. No— Gojo— Don’t you fucking dare— Gojo!”
Shoko’s full-on shrieking by the time he throws her in the water. You burst out laughing. She comes out screaming for revenge, and Gojo starts scampering around to try and avoid her.
The sun is high in the sky, there’s a light breeze.
The time is good.
“Satoru!” Suguru calls when the watch on his wrist starts beeping, “it’s been two hours!”
It takes a second for the information to reach his brain, but the second he understands it, Gojo’s sprinting back towards the parasol at full speed. You look up, surprised, from the towel on which you’re lying with a book. Shoko doesn’t even bother with lifting an eyelid to see what’s going on.
“You okay?” you ask.
Ah, so she does speak.
“Yeah,” Gojo says, ruffling through a bag. “Just need to reapply some sunscreen. I’m not trying to look like a lobster.”
“Oh,” you say, “so, did you want me to help you with that?”
His fingers finally close around the bottle, and he stills to look at you. Shit. He’s curious again. Shoko’s words are swirling around in his mind, though, and he has no interest in forcing your hand.
“You didn’t look like you wanted to do that,” he says with uncharacteristic caution.
You roll your lips together, glance away from him, and your hand curls into a fist in the sand.
“No, it’s just— Um, I’m sorry about earlier. You— caught me off guard, I guess. I couldn’t figure out what to answer.”
“I usually just go with whatever appears through my head first,” he shrugs as he comes to crouch in front of you — you in the sun, him in the shade.
You laugh softly, but you avert your eyes, focusing on the sand as you trace patterns in it.
“Yeah, I think that’s the preferred method, but it— doesn’t— really work for me. So I have— I have a script, kind of, for interactions.”
“And I was off script?”
You glance back up at him.
“You’re always off script.”
For a moment, he just looks into your eyes, and you look back without any of that earlier nervousness. Then you shrink back into yourself, and the smile that so rarely leaves your lips reappears, like a shield that comes back up.
“Sorry. I know— I know how silly this sounds. I also wish I didn’t feel the need to do that, I just, um—”
“All good,” he replies with a shrug. “Sure. Help me with that.”
He throws you the bottle and you miss it, and he can feel you eyerolling at his back without needing to turn around, but when he shoots you a grin from over his shoulder, he can see how your breath catches in your throat.
Softly, your hand goes over his back, your touch gentle and cautious. It feels quite nice, actually, especially when your nails brush over his skin.
“It’s not too cold?” you ask.
“All good,” he repeats.
Shit. He’s invested again.
“Okay, we have the tickets, we have the water bottles, we have the hats, we have flat shoes, we have Gojo, we have the car keys—”
“I’m sorry, why was I just in the middle of a list of belongings?”
“We have cellphones and portable batteries… I think we’re good,” Shoko concludes, fully ignoring him.
“You don’t think we’re just a touch overprepared?” Suguru asks.
“You can never overprepare, my brother,” Todo says, grabbing his shoulder firmly. “If you want to triumph in the face of adversity, you need to know everything about the enemy.”
Suguru opens his mouth, closes it again. He knows how to pick his battles.
Gojo doesn’t.
“We’re going to a festival, not trying to breech the Pentagon,” he deadpans, and then, from the corner of his eye, he tries to see if you’re laughing. He delights in how you lower your head and try to keep it discreet.
“You never know what—”
“If I have to hear a second more of this nonsense, I swear to God I’ll kill someone here,” Shoko announces cheerfully. “Let’s move.”
Finally, after a good fifteen minutes by the door of the Airbnb you’ve all spent the night in, you start moving.
The good news is that you don’t have to get in the car, in the smothering heat, to get on the overcrowded streets packed full with the cars of the other attendees. The bad news is that you have to walk there, in the smothering heat, near the streets packed full with the cars of the other attendees. Suguru’s in charge of the map, which everyone seems happy with. Gojo had offered to do it, too, and there’s not a shred of doubt that he’d be able to read it competently, but Shoko had insisted the risk of him taking everyone to the wrong place ‘just because it would be funny’ was too high.
She’d been right but like, that was still rude.
The march in the heat and the waiting in line, while painful and unpleasant, as Gojo makes sure everyone around him is well aware of, go pretty smooth. Everything is planned and accounted for. There’s a game plan once they make it into the festival, too, because of course there is, but that’s when things start going south. First, Todo tries to go rogue when he spots someone wearing Takada merch. She’s not performing here, but he’s heard rumors that there would be a stand for her, and he lurches towards the woman. He’d get lost in the crowd immediately if not for Gojo’s lightning fast reflexes.
Unfortunately, soon enough it’s Gojo’s turn to get distracted. What can he say, there’s the smell of sugar in the air, and he needs to know where it’s coming from. Suguru’s the one to get him back on track, as they all head towards the main stage. Because that’s what Shoko’s grand plan leads to: sweet, sweet, close-up spots to watch the Sorcerers, headliners for the festival and also unarguably greatest band of all times, with minimum wait before their show.
There are a couple other close calls, but the group manages to get close enough to the stage. There are people here already, but they’re here for other artists mostly, and they’ll no doubt move quite a bit before the start of the real show. From where they are, even you and Shoko will be able to— Wait a minute.
“Huh,” Gojo say. “Hey, Shoko, do you happen to see (y/n) around?”
“If you can’t see her from up there, why would you think I— Fuck.”
“A fallen soldier,” Todo sighs somberly. “Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices for—"
“We should go get her,” Shoko interrupts him. She’s biting her lower lip, staring at her phone. She looks quite worried, Gojo notices as he stares at her.
“Why isn’t it enough to just text her?” Gojo asks. It’s not ideal, and it won’t be easy to find the group in the middle of this sea of people, but it’s not impossible.
“I just— I don’t know if she’ll want to deal with all that” she gestures at the crowd “alone. I’m afraid she’ll say she doesn’t mind and then she won’t have a good time.”
Gojo tilts his head. It wouldn’t cross his mind to say something he doesn’t mean. It’s an incredibly weird thought, actually. But Shoko’s better than him at, well, people, and she might have a point. He also doesn’t want you to have a bad time, after all. With one last glance at the stage, he nods at her.
“I’ll go get her.”
“Are you sure?” Suguru asks. “I can go, if you want me to. It’s your band.”
As if it isn’t his, too. But Gojo shrugs. His attention span is fleeting, and he’s got his sights on something else right now.
“Nah, don’t worry. I’ll make it back.”
“Thanks,” Shoko says sincerely.
He waves vaguely at her before making his way back through the crowd, earning his fair share of nasty glances. He still doesn’t care.
A few minutes later, he receives a text from Shoko with a screengrab where you say you’re getting something to eat. Sure enough, he has no trouble finding you waiting in line. You’re typing on your phone, not paying attention to your surroundings, and he’s grinning already. He lets himself half fall on you, arm wrapping around your body as he drops his chin onto your shoulder. You jump, glancing back bewildered, but you don’t stay tense long once you see it’s him.
Which makes him feel things, actually, but he’ll unpack that later.
“What are you doing here?” you ask, brow furrowing. “I thought you guys would be in front of the stage by now.”
“I came to rescue the princess, obviously,” he says, and you laugh. You laugh a lot when he talks, instead of rolling your eyes like people usually do.
Maybe you’re a bit too good of an audience.
“I don’t need rescuing, Gojo,” you answer, and it’s interesting how calm your voice is. “It’s packed too tight for me in here. I told Shoko but…” You shrug. “It’s not always easy to understand how it is. For me.”
“Yeah,” he says. “I don’t get it at all.”
Your shoulder’s pretty comfortable, though. And you haven’t tried to get him off of you yet.
“Do you want to order something, too?” you ask, pointing at the food stand. They sell waffles, and just the smell has his mouth watering. “Strawberries and whipped cream, right?”
Gojo pauses.
“How do you know that?”
“You’ve mentioned it. A few times, actually.”
He’s sure he has, but—
“You were listening to that?”
You blink at him. He realizes how close your face is, with his head on your shoulder.
“Of course I was. You were talking.”
“Shoko didn’t tell you? It’s like, rule number one of being around me, don’t listen to the stuff I say. There’s a lot of dumb shit in there.”
You tilt your head, looking kind of confused.
“I still want to hear what you’re saying.”
Something inside him feels warm all of a sudden. Very warm.
“Yeah,” he says, but his throat is tight. “Strawberries and whipped cream.”
When you step forward to they can take your order, he begrudgingly gets off your shoulder, which allows him to swipe his card before you can get to it.
“I had that,” you protest while he bites into the insane amount of whipped cream in his waffle — he asked for more until the guy behind the counter looked like he was going to murder him.
“I had it first,” he says, and then he sticks his tongue out at you. He anticipates your laugh this time, finds himself waiting on it. When it comes, it sounds just like he wanted it to.
For a while, the two of you sit on a fence. You hand him a water bottle, say that he needs to stay hydrated. With no one else around, you don’t seem to have such a hard time speaking. You’re so quiet when everyone’s there and, well, him and Todo take up a lot of space, when it comes to conversation. Neither Suguru nor Shoko struggle with making their voices heard either, and in the middle of all that, you tend to stay silent. Apparently, that doesn’t stop you from listening.
“Shouldn’t you be going back?” you ask, after a while.
Gojo tilts his head as he thinks about it.
“Nah, I’m good. Let’s find some place where you can enjoy the show.”
“You don’t have to—”
A grin, and then he’s jumping from the fence to come stand in front of you. Even like that, he doesn’t have to look up to meet your eyes.
“And how d’you plan on stopping me?”
Your eyes go wide. He can almost hear your heart racing, and he thinks he’s starting to get a little too high on that feeling. It’s just so easy, so fun, so delicious.
“Okay,” you squeak, averting your eyes and jumping down after him, clearly trying to hide your reaction. “Okay, I’m coming.”
When you start walking by his side, grabbing your hand is just too easy not to do it.
“Wouldn’t want you to run away again,” is what he says as he intertwines his fingers with yours. “Now you’re stuck with me.”
You still refuse to look at him, but there is no actual discomfort in your reaction, just what he thinks is uncertainty about how you’re supposed to behave now.
“Have I gone off script again?” he practically purrs.
You glance up, a flash of amusement on your face. Lots of fondness, too, and this time he’s the one who gets caught up in it.
“You haven’t been on script once today.”
“Good,” he says, managing to pass off the emotion that just choked him for a second there as impatience. “Someone’s got to keep you on your toes.”
“I’m always on my toes,” you mumble behind him, but you can’t explain to him what anxiety feels like, so you just let him drag you away. His fingers are long, his hand engulfs yours easily. You like the feeling of it more than you should.
Your eyes are on Gojo’s broad back as he pulls you through the crowd, which parts effortlessly for him. You’re enjoying this.
You don’t think it’s going to last.
Gojo doesn’t think about that though, just like he rarely thinks about tomorrows. What he’s thinking about, as he keeps far, far away from the stage, is how to find a place with enough air around for the two of you. It’s easy for him to get a good look at the stage, and he earns his fair share of pissed off glares — “Seriously, it should be illegal to come to an open-air stage when you’re that tall” — but it takes more work to get the perfect space for you. Finally, his eagle eyes figure out some place that’s just perfect, and he beelines for it with you in tow.
“There,” he says, pulling you in front of him and putting his head on top of yours, just to check that the line of sight is good enough.
Ha. He nailed it.
“Thanks,” you say. There’s surprise in your tone.
“Is this a good spot for you?” he checks, but really, he just wants to hear you praise him?
“It is, but— I thought you said you didn’t get it? My—” You gesture vaguely. “—struggle. With all that stuff.”
Oh right. You actually listen to what he says. He needs to keep that in mind for the future.
“Does it matter?” he asks with a shrug.
You stare. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out, and then the crowd starts absolutely howling and you spin around to see the Sorcerersget on the stage. Whatever moment there was there, is forgotten right away. He sees you fish in your bag for your phone, then raise it over your head and tiptoe around, trying to get a good photo.
It’s cute, it’s adorable even, but it’s not very efficient.
“Do you want some help here?” he asks, leaning close to your ear so you can hear him over all the noise.
Your body shivers into him, and he files that away for later.
“Um, yeah,” you shout over the noise. “Here, could you—”
But he pays no attention to the way you offer him your cellphone, and instead he’s bending down, and ignoring your surprised protest as he pushes his head between your legs.
He bench presses a hell of a lot more than he looks like he does, for the record.
With a grunt, he manages to get you up on his shoulders, and some people behind him complain loudly, but whatever, they can wait for you to get the perfect picture. You struggle to stabilize yourself for a dangerous second, and then you stop moving around for a second. Your thighs are supple and warm under his hands and around his head.
One more thing to remember.
“I’m good, I’m good, get me down,” you say quickly, just as he’s storing the thought away.
You seem relieved when your feet get back on the ground, and Satoru lets his hands linger on your waist.
“Was it a nice pic?” he asks. He knows he’s all red in the face, but he’s grinning so wide it almost hurts, actually.
“Perfect,” you squeak. “Thank you. Again.”
Aw. He’s going to get used to that word real quick.
A familiar guitar riff comes from the stage, and you turn away from him once more, but his hands are still on your waist. He uses that to pull you against him and this time, you don’t hesitate to let yourself lean back against him as the two of you move in rhythm with the music.
The concert is a blur after that. There’s a lot of singing, a lot of screaming, basically no time to catch a breath, because the Sorcerers are fucking beasts that don’t let up, not even for a second. At some point, you tell him something, but he can’t really hear, so you crane your neck back and he lowers his head. Your lips brush against his neck, an accident really, but it sends such a jolt of electricity through him, he thinks he’ll go into full overdrive.
The only thing that stops him from chasing after your lips immediately after that is Shoko’s voice, going around in his mind. ‘Don’t push it.’ What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
You move away, and he still has no clue what you were saying. If after that, his hands hold your hips a little tighter, if he pulls you a little closer, he can’t be blamed. If, during one of the more sulfurous song of the show, as you’re swaying against him, humming along to the song, his lips find your neck, he doesn’t want to hear about it.
When he presses a kiss right by your jaw, you turn to look at him. You’re pretty. He’s always thought you were pretty.
Fuck Shoko, he thinks, and he’s ready to put his mouth on yours, to slide his tongue between your parted lips that have looked so inviting this entire week-end, when the riff of the band’s most popular song starts playing, and he loses you attention once more.
Cock-blocked by his favorite band. Fuck his life.
When the song ends, there’s movement in the crowd as the band gets off the stage and people start chanting for an encore. In Shoko’s fool proof, perfect plan, this is when you’re supposed to start leaving. Gojo doesn’t want to — how is he supposed to do anything about how much he wants his mouth on you once you’re back with the other — but this time you grab his hand and pull him away from the stage and he has even less of a clue of what he’s supposed to do about that.
You get to the meeting point before Shoko, Todo and Suguru, which makes sense, considering you were much further from the stage than them. It’s a specific pole that Shoko had pointed to as you were first getting in, and the urge to push you against it and to taste your lips is strong. Gojo isn’t typically one to ignore that kind of feeling. He just goes for it, doesn’t let his brain get in the way too much. He’s not sure what it is with you and your doe eyes and your sweet smile that makes him act different.
Whatever it is, it makes him ask “Did you have a good time?” instead of kissing you senseless behind the pole while watching to make sure Shoko doesn’t catch him in the act.
“It was amazing,” you say. “I don’t think— I don’t think I’d have gotten that close without you.”
“Did I force your hand?” he asks, frowning.
“No, no, that was great, actually.” And there it comes, his favorite words, and then he’ll kiss you. “Thank—”
“There you guys are!”
You have got to be kidding him. The Gods of timing are so set against him, he must have done something to piss them off badly in another life.
“Okay, we should start heading towards the exit,” Shoko announces.
“Nah, we ‘re staying until the end,” Gojo says, burying his hands, balled into fists, in his pockets. He’s being needlessly belligerent, but whatever, she deserves it, whether she knows it or not.
“Don’t be a dick,” she glares.
He smiles at her. And he doesn’t budge.
“We’ll run,” you say, stepping in. “I’m sure we can still beat the crowd if we run.”
She narrows her eyes at you, then at Gojo.
“You’re a bad influence, you know that?”
So many delicious thoughts coming to him, and he can’t do anything about it. Damn it all.
Of course, it ends with the five of you sprinting on the lawn and all the way back to the house. Of course, he doesn’t catch five seconds with you after that. Of course, your face is on his mind the whole night.
Of course, because it’s just his luck, isn’t it, in the morning, Shoko tells him you had to catch a flight early in the morning.
“I told you, don’t you remember? She’s going back to her family for the summer.”
Of course, he doesn’t.
Ah, whatever. It bothers him for a minute, but then the day continues unfolding, and the sun’s warm, it’s the peak of summer, and he only really knew you for a couple of days. He’ll see how he feels about it when college starts up again in the fall. He’s not known for sticking with things, anyway. He’ll probably forget; you probably won’t capture him again like you did; it was probably a fluke.
That, or these will become famous last words.
sequel
thank you so much for reading! i had a ton of fun writing gojo's pov and i hope you enjoyed it too, even if i'm still finding his voice :) please reblog or comment if you've enjoyed this, i'd love to hear from you! getting readers' feedback on my writing is what keeps me motivated to write so if you'd like to read more from me, that's the way to do it!
tagging the people who expressed interest in this: @elidebrey @xstom @chosospookiebear @xmysticredx
#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo fluff#jjk fluff#jjk x you#my writing#gojo imagine#jjk imagine#jjk x y/n
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butt dial | a pretty little wife mini chapter
joel x f!reader
series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | ✨kofi ✨
summary: 2.3k words; you're home alone while joel is out with his brother. he butt dials you, and you hear some very interesting things. warnings: 18+ MDNI, no apocalypse au, pre-established sub/dom relationship/dynamic, dirty talk, pet names for reader, joel says some dirty ass shit about pretty wife, allusions to smut at the end a/n: just a short little ditty inspired by this ask - you're an absolute saint for putting this idea in my head it had me kicking and giggling my feet to think about and write. enjoy!!!
You sigh, leaning back on the couch and curling up a bit more. The blanket draped over you has fallen, so you tug it up a bit and snuggle your arms underneath the plush fabric. It still carries a lingering scent of Joel and you happily breathe it in as you train your eyes on the screen. You’ve put on a mushy romance film, the type Joel doesn’t typically jump at watching with you. It’s not that he won’t, because one look from your desperate eyes will have him rolling his and turning the movie you’ve requested on, anyways. But a man has his limits, and he’s said no more than one of that genre every few months.
Joel is out tonight with Tommy, grabbing drinks to fulfill their monthly tradition. They often have a beer at yours and Joel’s place, or go out for just one after work, maybe, but once a month they have a full-on night out. You encourage it, wanting Joel to stay close with his brother. You never had such a close relationship with your family like he does with his brother, and you know their tough upbringing drew them together.
You also don’t mind having the house to yourself for the evening, you think with a wry smile, basking in the quiet comfort and being able to pick whatever form of entertainment without your well meaning husband griping about it. You’ve got on one of the newest rom-coms you’d noticed on Netflix the other day, and have a lazy smile as you watch, feeling fully content. You’d made a hearty batch of fried rice for dinner, leaving a plate made up in case Joel came home drunk and starving (he always did).
A sudden trilling tone interrupts your daze, and you pause the movie and sit up to see your phone lit up and ringing. Joel’s name flashes on the screen, along with a photo of the two of you together, taken on a sunny day when you went hiking. It makes you smile briefly before worry settles in, wondering why he’s calling right now. It makes your stomach sink a bit, hoping he’s not gotten into trouble, or worse, hurt. You scramble to answer, your fingers fumbling with the buttons until you pull it to your ear, your breath hitching as you try to swallow and get the words out.
“H-hello?” you say quickly into the receiver, clutching it close to your ear. You hear a staticky sound, loud and grating as the call finally comes in. You yank it back from your ear, your brows knitting together in confusion. The sounds become a little clearer as you listen closer, and you can hear the buzz of multiple, overlapping conversations and music. You breathe out in relief as you realize Joel is okay, and nearly laugh at how worked up you got in the first place. Your mind just goes to that terrified place, wondering how the hell you’d ever live if something happened to him.
You almost hang up, smiling with the burst of relief when you catch the tail end of something Joel is saying. You know this was an accidental butt dial, and you really should hang up, but after your scare, you want to hear your husbands safe, comforting voice… just for a second. Just a second, and then you’ll hang up, give him his privacy.
You press the phone close to your ear, trying to make it out. You hear the distinct sound of both of the boys’ laughter, Joel and Tommy, and you can tell just from that noise that they’re well into their drinking for the night. It’s a lighthearted, deep laugh, one that he doesn’t do very often. It makes you smile and you sigh a little, putting your chin in your hand.
“-and then I fell right down, right there on the damn street… Theresa was pissed, lemme tell you…” you hear Tommy’s voice slurring out, a little distant but still clear enough to make out. Joel howls with laughter and you can picture him, trying not to choke on his sip of beer, clapping Tommy on the shoulder.
“Fuckinhellbrother,” Joel slurs, like it’s one full word.
“I know, I know. Your missus is lucky she ain’t out with us right now,” Tommy replies.
“She’d sure as hell be laughin’ at our asses, if ‘m honest.”
Your eyes widen at the mention of you. You feel a twinge of guilt press on you but you can’t find it in yourself to hang up just yet. You just want to hear a little bit more… you think devilishly to yourself.
“What’s she up to tonight? Probably sittin’ at home missin’ you,” Tommy teases his brother.
Joel chuckles. “Guarantee she loves it, probably got one of her sappy little movies on. Silly fuckin’ girl...” You smile at how well he knows you and press the phone a little closer.
“C’mon, know you watch ‘em with her, too,” Tommy slurs a bit.
“Can’t say no to a face like that… and a mouth like that…” Joel says boldly. You feel your eyes go wide and you hold back a gasp. You feel your cheeks starting to burn a little to hear the way Joel’s being so open with his brother, the implication behind his words heavy with innuendo.
“Chriiiiist, here wegoagain,” Tommy says quickly, slurring. You furrow your brow, picking up on the fact that Tommy has heard Joel talking like this before, like it’s completely normal for them. You start to feel a pleasant little swirl deep in your gut at the fact that Joel brags about those particular abilities of yours.
You think you hear them both chuckle a little bit. “Know I can’t help m’self Tommy. Fuckin’ body of an angel, mouth of a fuckin’ devil, lord. Could go on about it f’days.”
Tommy seems quiet for a moment, just listening. “You always brag too much, brother. ‘Sides, she says nothin’ but sweet things and you know it. Nicest little gal around.”
“Who said anything about the things she’s saying?” Joel quips back.
“Fuckin’ hell. Yeah, I get it, your wife gives good head, yeah?” Tommy snips, but it sounds more playful than angry to you.
You can picture your husband, face flushed from the alcohol and hair a little messy, leaning forward and grinning in that devilish way. “Suckin cocks’s not the only thing she’s good at. Practically everything, really, but lord does that woman know how to do just what I want. She’s a real good listener, my girl.” Your thighs clench together and you feel your breathing hitch. Just Joel basically calling you a good girl from afar has you feeling like an animal in heat all of a sudden. You throw the blanket off as you feel your body starting to warm up and a soft smile comes to your face.
You hear silence from Tommy’s end, maybe too stunned to speak, clearly giving Joel permission to keep going.
“Y’know the best part? I got her listenin’ so good, she’ll do just about anythin’. Let me fuck her whenver I needta, you get me?”
“Christ Jesus, Joel, whatever the hell was in this fuckin’ beer got you too open tonight…”
“Can’t a man brag about his wife without gettin’ hounded? Jus’ wanted to share a lil love for my sweet gal.”
“Alright, alright, but shut the hell up now,” Tommy says with a howl of laughter, and the phone goes a little quieter, assuming Joel adjusted in his seat.
“Jealous, jealous…” Joel taunts.
“Shut. It. Or we’re gonna have a real bar fight on our hands here,” Tommy threatens teasingly. Their words continue to jumble a bit, and you can tell they’re both reaching close to their limit on beer and liquor for the evening.
“Oh, fine,” Joel finally says, vowing to get off the topic.
You feel a surge of pride that you witnessed something so special, so pure, despite the filthy things he was saying about the two of you. It just felt like pure love and adoration, even when you weren’t in the room to hear it. It makes your heart skip a little bit to know that Joel talks so highly of you even when he isn’t around you, going so far as to brag about such intimate things with his brother. You know it was lewd, but it made you feel that warm feeling you get whenever Joel shows you off in any way.
Lost deep in thought, you’ve already started to tune out their next batch of teasing and laughter as they move on to a new topic, so you decide to hang up the phone and let them get on with their night.
You feel a lingering pride to be Joel’s wife sticking with you as you when you go back to watching the movie. Your heart feels so light and free right now, and you find yourself yearning for him to come home just so you can unload some of this love onto him as it bubbles up inside of you.
Another hour and a half later, you hear keys jingling outside the door before the lock clicks and the front door swings open clumsily. Joel spots you instantly, curled up on the couch with a wide smile as soon as your eyes flick over to him. You sit up and stretch a little, taking in the full, broad form of him fumbling about as he walks in.
“Oh, hello there,” he says in a low, goofy voice. He stumbles in a little, a goofy smile on his face as he tries to take off his shoes.
“Feelin’ good, handsome?” you tease him, trying not to laugh at how absolutely adorable your husband is when he’s a little drunk.
“Better ‘n good, now. Home with my pretty girl…” he coos. You stand up, bounding over to him and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling yourself close as quickly as you can.
“Oh,” he puffs out as you practically slam into his chest. One hand immediately wraps around your waist, drawing you closer, the heat of his hand burning through your thin tee shirt, and the other splays across the back of your head, pulling you in for a long, deep kiss. You moan quietly, a little desperate mewl climbing its way out of your throat as his lips devour you. You can taste his evening - beers and liquor and… a cigar? You should chastise him for that one, you think, but you know Tommy can be a bad influence so you let it slide in lieu of some more kisses from him. You deepen it and slide your tongue into his mouth, and he happily returns it, tongues skimming each other for a few moments before you pull back, gently biting his bottom lip on the way.
“Hell, what’d a guy do to deserve a kiss like that, hm?” Joel muses, a little tipsy sounding. His hand comes around your head to stroke your cheek, thumb lingering as he traces down the soft skin there.
“Just wanted to show you all the things I’m good at, since that’s what you said, right?” you tease him, knowing he likely won’t even be able to piece in together in his current state.
Joel’s face scrunches up a bit, his brows drawing together as he tries to wrack his hazy brain for any clue of what you’re referring to.
“Not just good for ‘suckin’ cock’?” you say, your voice low, a furtive little whisper right near his ear. You peel back a bit to see his eyes widen a little, more confused than ever.
“Wh-”
“Butt dial, darling,” you tell him, pecking his cheek.
Joel laughs, a nervous yet comfortable laugh, able to read you well enough to know you aren’t upset about what he said, just amused. His laugh turns to a low chuckle, a little mischievous glint in his eye. His hand slides down from the small of your back to you ass, giving it a gentle, swift pat.
“And aren’t you a naughty girl for listenin’ in on my private conversation, hm?” he teases, bringing his lips within an inch of yours.
“Couldn’t help myself, had to hear what my husband really thinks of me.” You move your lips the slightest bit, brushing against his in a soft touch. “Good thing it’s not anything I didn’t already know…” You pull back suddenly, giving him a wink and putting a little space between the two of you.
“In that kind of mood tonight, are we, doll? Little bit bratty?” Joel asks with raised brows. “Gonna have to make you prove to me everything I told Tommy is true then, aren’t I?” Joel’s eyes go hungrier, a deep, feral need growing in his core and showing up right in his dark irises.
You shrug and turn to walk away, but Joel grabs onto your wrist, spinning you back against him. “Nuh uh, not so fast. You’re comin’ with me, darlin’” he spits out. In a split second his arms are on either side of your waist, hoisting you up and then tossing you over his shoulder so that your head is hanging down his back.
“H-hey!” You giggle, swinging your feet to try and get down, knowing it’s no use, and if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t want to escape, of course. Not from a hold this good.
Joel’s hand reaches up and smacks your ass hard as he carries you towards the stairs. “Now let’s go and you can tell me all about everything you heard me sayin’ tonight.”
You smile wide, feeling your mind and body already buzzing for your husband and all the things he seemed to have in store for you. It was going to be a fun night, indeed.
plw taglist: @aphterthoughtt @bbyanarchist @amy172 @hazzaismyreligion @ohheypedrito @msmorningstaarr @kamcrazy123 @madhere @paleidiot @saverockandroll54 @daddy-din
#LOVED THIS SO MUCHHH#fucking sexy little cuties#fic: pretty little wife#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller fanfiction
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Teach Me Your Touch - Michael Gavey x Reader
HELAELAEMOND’S KINKTOBER
thank you @arcielee for the banner!
Pairing: Michael Gavey x f!reader
Word count: 3k
Summary: You missed a lecture and have your classmate Michael Gavey share his notes and help you catch up. He's not good at teaching, and he makes you feel stupid. He makes you feel bad. When you cry, he wants to fuck you all better.
Content warning(s): light elements of bullying (prior to smut), feelings of intellectual inferiority
KINK CATEGORIES: public sex, crying, inexperience/loss of virginity (male), fingering (female receiving)
Rating: E
Tagging those who showed interest: @llemes @assortedseaglass @sapphire-writes @theoneeyedprince @ewanmitchellcrumbs @humanpurposes @underjeno @st-eve-barnes @arcielee @babyblue711
Michael's voice is snappy. "Are you listening to me?"
You look up at him in defeat. "Yes, I'm trying! But I don't-"
"I can't make it any clearer!"
You lean forward on the table and rest your head in your hands. "You're making me feel stupid."
He huffs. "Maybe you are."
Arsehole. Why did you even ask him for his help? You know he's a dickhead, but he's also smart. Last semester, you worked on a group project with him and although he was terrible working with other people, his understanding of the subject was unmatched. He's like a walking calculator, for God's sake, and that intellect seems to apply to every module.
Besides, last time, he had a mean streak, but he also seemed to soften with you. You're not exactly a bombshell, but you're still a woman, and he's a lonely man. You were kind to him last time you worked together, and it made him kinder, too.
Whatever rapport once existed between you, though, seems to have faded. Now, you're sat on the second floor of Radcliffe library under the tall arched ceilings at 2am. No one else is around to see your shame, thankfully.
It's been a long time since you've felt simple. You shouldn't feel stupid - you're on the same course as him! You only missed one lecture! It shouldn't be this hard!
"You're not making it easy to understand," you mumble.
"What?" he asks, irritated.
You lift your head and look at him, eyes red. "My mind doesn't work as quick as yours. I need you to explain it differently."
He blinks at you from behind his thick glasses, and you watch as he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing above his buttoned collar. "Right. Fine. You did the reading, and you understand that a tangled hierarchy is a hierarchical consciousness system in which a strange loop appears. Right?"
Clenching your jaw, you nod. "That much I understand, Michael. I'm not as simple as you think."
"I don't think you're simple. I think you're acting simple."
It's too late and you're too tired. Hot tears spill down your cheeks. "You're acting mean."
"What?" He has the audacity to look shocked. "I'm helping!"
"No, you're not." You stand up and shove your notes into your rucksack hastily, along with your pens and library copy of the required reading. "You've spent the last three hours making me feel stupid and small and unintelligent, and you've enjoyed every second."
"No!" he protests angrily. "Don't tell me how I feel!"
"Alright! Well, that's how you've made me feel! And that's not fair! God, I really thought-" You cut yourself off and take a deep breath. But you're still crying, and it's embarrassing, and you furiously wipe away your tears. They're quickly replaced.
Michael stands up and follows you as you stalk off down the rows and rows of bookcases. He calls your name, but you ignore him. It's loathsome how hearing him say it gives you butterflies. "Will you just wait?" he shouts.
You whirl around to face him, making your rucksack fall off your shoulder and onto the floor. The noise echoes in the cavernous library, and you're suddenly very aware of how empty it is of other people. It didn't bother you before. It doesn't exactly bother you now, either, but... but there's something intense about the way he looks at you. It's angry, it's apprehensive, it's... it makes your skin crawl.
"What is it, Michael?" you ask. You're caught somewhere between anger and weariness.
"It's not my fault you feel stupid," he says defiantly.
"For the love of-"
"Because you're not stupid. You're just acting it. Like I said."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
He swallows. "Yes. You're not as smart as me. But that doesn't mean you're stupid."
You laugh dryly. "I don't know why I was ever nice to you. You have no interest in being nice to me."
Again, confusion flickers over his face. "I agreed to help you, didn't I? that's nice!"
"I think you only agreed to it so you could make me feel like dirt." You pick up your bag again and continue your way to the stairs that will take you down to the main entrance. You're still crying. He's absolutely shattered you tonight, and it's not fair.
Suddenly, there's a hand around your wrist, and it stops you in your tracks. It becomes abundantly clear that Michael Gavey is far stronger than he looks. You're left breathless when, out of nowhere, he pulls you between tall bookcases. He towers over you. You've always noticed how tall he is. Despite his somewhat bookish appearance, there's something about him that has always been nice to look at. Perhaps it's his thick hair, or his sharp jaw, or his pretty blue eyes. Something about him, despite his nasty streak, makes you wish he approved of you.
"Stop crying."
You sniff and look up at him in shame. "I'm trying."
"Try harder."
That makes your face crumple again. "Leave me alone."
"I want to help."
"Let me go."
"You're kind to me," he says, his voice suddenly quieter. When he says your name, it cracks. "I'm trying to make you feel better."
"It's not working."
"Teach me," he whispers. The intensity with which he is now looking at you in almost too much.
"Say something nice about me."
"Oh. Um." His hand loosens slightly on your wrist. You're all too aware of how clammy it is against your skin. You don't care. Any touch from him is, unfortunately, welcome. "Your work on our projective geometry project was good."
"I know it was."
"Alright." He licks his lips. His eyes dart to yours. "You're... good at explaining things in different ways. I'm not."
You sniff, and look down at your feet. His body is close to yours, and your gaze catches something in his trousers. Perhaps his zipper is caught on something. Or perhaps... perhaps...
Your heart races.
"Why did you agree to help me?" you ask, eyes still downcast.
"You asked."
"Why?"
"I..."
"Tell me the truth, Michael."
"Um."
It's so late, and you're so tired. The uncertainty makes the tears fall again. Your head hurts so much. "I'm going."
Michael cries out your name throatily. In a heartbeat, he grasps your shoulders and pushes you against the bookcase, and then his tall, lean body is pressed against yours and his clammy hands find their place on your neck. "Don't cry," he tells you. His face comes closer to yours. His glasses begin to steam up.
"You've done this to me."
"I want to make you feel better. But..."
"But?"
"But you're so pretty when you cry."
And then he kisses you.
It is messy, wet, and needy. He doesn't hesitate to push his tongue against yours, and his glasses press against your face. It should make you squirm away. But it makes you whimper quietly. Your bag drops to the floor, and your hands fly to his narrow hips. You open your mouth wide against his desperately, your teeth clinking against his, and he mirrors you until your lips, your cheeks, your nose, are wet with his spit.
He doesn't know what he's doing. You hardly do, either. And it's so fucking good.
"Michael," you whisper between hard and deep kisses.
He groans your name. "I've thought about this since we first met."
"You thought about me?"
He nods, before burying his face in your throat. His greedy mouth kisses up and down before they settle where your neck and shoulder meet, and he sucks. At his hips, your hands ball into fists around his belt. The carabiner he wears on it with a collection of USBs knocks against your fingers and you tug on it.
You want to fuck him.
"Yeah," he murmurs against your skin. "Think about you in lectures. What I wanna do to you."
To you. Not with you. God, that should make you want to leave. Instead, you resolve to stay.
"Yeah?" you ask breathlessly. "Show me."
"Okay."
Nervous sweat dampens his forehead, but you don't care. You feel it when he presses it against yours and palms you over your jacket. Your soft bra is padded, and you can hardly feel his touch. It's driving you mad. In frustration, you unbutton your shirt quickly and look up at him. "Touch me. Please, Michael, please-"
He breathes loudly through his mouth. His lips are wet with sailva; he's practically drooling. He hesitates.
"Have you been with a woman before?" you ask, chest heaving with need.
His grits his teeth, anger flashing across his face at the question, the mere insinuation that this is his first time. You take that as a no.
So it's your turn to teach him. But just from his desperate kisses, you're almost blind with desire, and there's not much patience left in you. So you pull your breast free from its cup, and press on the back of his head. He's so fucking tall. "Kiss me here," you whine softly. "Suck my nipple."
He is a better pupil than tutor. Perhaps, if you were less aroused, you would tell him to be gentler. But as it is, his eagerness is rough and hard and just what you need. The sharp pull of his mouth sends electricity through you, from your head to your toes, and you arch up against him.
"Your hand," you tell him. "Down my trousers. You thought about that, right?"
Against your breast, he nods. He bites your nipple, and you dig your teeth into your lip to keep quiet. It's the middle of the night, but anyone could walk in.
He fumbles with your button and zipper, and then his hand is down the front of your jeans and you spread your legs. He palms you hard, and instinctively, you grind against the touch.
"Let me show you something." Your breathing is laboured already, just like his. He releases your breast from his mouth and meets your gaze with pupils blown wide. You feel your heartbeat under his hand.
You wriggle your jeans down to your knees and then push down your underwear too, enough that you can spread your legs and cover his hand with yours. You guide his long fingers against your cunt, and it takes no time at all to show him how hot and swollen your clit is.
"Like that," you whisper as you press his digits into a firm and fast pace.
"God," he whimpers. "You're so... you're wet."
You nod. "Yeah. Means I want you."
Without needing to be guided this time, his touch strays down, and he presses his middle finger through your folds. When he finds your entrace and slips inside, he moans so loudly that you have to clamp your hand over his mouth.
His eyes are wide and pleading with you. He watches your face so closely as he pushes a second finger inside of you, and he kisses and sucks at your palm against his mouth.
"That's good," you tell him quietly, nodding your head. "Rub circles around my clit with your thumb. Oh, God, yeah, like that. That's good, Michael. Oh, God, don't stop."
When your hand against his mouth goes slack, he takes the opportunity to kiss you again. He shoves his tongue back into your mouth and it's so messy, so needy so erotic, that you have to quickly push his hand away depsite your previous order.
"What?" he asks, suddenly panicked. "What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing," you gasp. "Gonna make me come already."
His cheeks flush a deep red. "Really?"
He grins lopsidedly, and you whine, "want you inside."
Gulping, and with shaking hands, he unbuckles his belt and the clink of metal seems to echo loudly in the cavernous hall. He shuffles his trousers down his hips, mirroring you, and you look down to see how his hard cock strains against the soft briefs he wears. God, there shouldn't be anything sexy about the y-fronts he's sporting, but you can see the thick outline of him, his heavy balls, and its maddening.
Neither of you care that you're in public now. He pushes his underwear down, too, and when you whisper for him to lift you up, he does it with surprising easy. You kick your trousers and underwear off, spread your legs for him, and grasp the bookshelves at your back for support. His arms are hooked under your thighs and he watches with glasses slipping down his nose as his cock lines up against you.
Instinct takes over. He shoves his cock through your folds, back and forth, coating himself with your arousal, and he presses over your clit with his tip time and time again.
He moans your name too loudly.
"Shh," you soothe, as if you're not fighting with all of your strength to stay quiet. "God, that feels good."
"Inside?" he asks, unable to take his eyes off his cock on your cunt.
"If you want."
"I do." He meets your gaze. There's a vulnerability in him that you haven't seen before. And then you clench, and he feels your muscles tighten, and desire wins out. After a moment of slipping through you, he presses his blunt head against you, and pushes into you in one, swift movement.
The speed takes you by surprise. He's bigger than the vibrator you've been satisfied with lately, but that's alright. You're wet and throbbing, relaxed enough to take him. But it's still a stretch, albeit a blissful one. It's a stretch that borders the line between sweet and stinging, and tears prick your eyes. Good tears, this time.
"Okay?" he asks, voice cracking.
They drip down your cheeks but you smile, biting your lip, and nod. "Yeah. Hard. Go hard, Michael. Need- God, need you!"
And he does as you tell him. "Think about you," he grunts as he thrusts hard and fast. He's on the tip of his toes, knees bent, as he sets a brutal pace that has your body aflame. "All the... fuck, all the time. Oh! Oh!"
You clamp your hand back over his mouth to stifle his moans, and they dissolve into whimpers that match his hard, laboured breaths. They come through his nose and make the skin of your hand prickle. Michael grips your hips hard enough to bruise and it's so good, it's so fucking good. He wants you, he needs you. That's why he agreed to help you. That's why he accepted your kindness.
He likes you. Buried six inches deep in you, you realise this. It makes you bury your face into his neck, and you bite his earlobe. He whimpers in response. "Shh," you soothe.
"Close," he groans against your hand.
"Me too," you breathe. The coil in your stomach is tightening. The tension in your thighs spreads up your back, between your shoulders, and all the way down to your toes. As you wrap your legs around his slim waist, you wonder, in the back of your mind, if the shoes you still wear will leave a mark on his shirt.
"Oh, fuck, fuck, so good, fuck-!" He comes suddenly, buried deep inside you, and you feel him spurt inside of you. But it doesn't matter, you're so undone it doesn't matter, it doesn't fucking matter-!
He whines your name and presses his groin tight against your as his orgasm stutters over him. Dropping his head on your shoulder, he pants, and whispers your name.
"Michael," you protest quietly. "Plase, I'm not there, I'm-"
You rock your hips against him needily. As if it is the easiest thing in the world, he sets you down and pulls out, and immediately replaces his cock with his hand. Just as you showed him before, he buries his fingers back in your pussy and circles your clit with his thumb, and you appreciate it, you do, but it's not enough, it's not enough-
"Oh, God," you groan softly. "Like this."
You're trembling close and youre's so needy, and you grab his hand and press all fingers against your mound, showing him to press as hard and fast as he can. It hurts in the best way, and his hand is almost a blur, and he studies your face with an open mouth as your expression crinkles, tightens, your jaw slack and eyes scrunched closed.
The orgasm he gives you explodes through your body and you white out, knees giving way and balancing falling through. With his hand still firm against your cunt, he catches you and holds you steady, and you clutch against him blindly for balance. "I've got you," he grunts. "Easy."
But there's pride in his voice. He keeps his hand against you even after your orgasm has washed over you. Your flesh there twitches, hot and swollen, and his fingers gently press in different places to learn about you. Whatever information he gathers makes him smile.
After a long moment, enough strength returns to you that you can stand steadily again. "God, that was..."
"Acceptable?" he asks hopefully.
You're bending down to pull your underwear and trousers back on, and you glance up, trying not to grin. "It was good."
He smiles slightly and nods, looking away as if deep in thought. "Alright, that's good, then. Next time, should I wait for you to... to finish first?"
"Next time?" you ask with a quiet laugh. Standing upright, you do your trousers back up and he does the same, the USB still swinging from his belt.
"We have to do this again." Michael says it as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. And then, he brings the hand up covered in your wetness, and he licks his fingers clean. His eyes close in bliss. "You taste so sweet."
Biting the inside of your cheek, you smile even wider. "You don't have to do that."
Swallowing, he murmurs your name and smiles. It's the most genuine smile you've seen him wear. "Oh, I do. You know me. Always had a sweet tooth."
#michael gavey x you#michael gavey x reader#saltburn#ewan mitchell#ewan nation#mine#helaelaemond kinktober
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wait for your love - haechan scenario
hellloooo so this one is a request. I've mentioned it before, i'm still not the best at writing angst but I try😅 when i saw this request, a few scenes immediately popped in my head. Hope you like it🥺 also I was listening to We Can't Be Friends by Ariana on repeat while writing this.
Also a short anecdote, when I saw nct dream last year during Sorry, Heart stage I literally bawled my eyes out. Like full on ugly sobbing in my seat haha I was okay during the first verse but when it got to Haechan's turn to sing the chorus the tears just went falling like waterfalls
ANYWAYSSSSSS
For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.
and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)
"What are we then?"
Those words shouldn't scare Haechan as much as it does. He hates it too. He hates how he can't say it to you but he doesn't want to let you go either.
He hates this grey area the two of you are in now.
"We're us. Isn't that enought?" he asks back
"For fuck's sake, we've been seeing each other for what? like 2 years now? And until now you still can't commit? I can't call you my boyfriend, you don't like it when people ask if we're dating"
"Because it's none of their fucking business"
"Well it's my business, I'm asking you right now, what the hell am I to you?" you stare at him, waiting for an answer. Any answer.
At this point hearing him say you don't mean anything to him would make more sense than the usual silence he'd give you.
"Baby, please I don't want to argue" he mumbles
"See, this is what you do all the time. I'm not a play toy. I'm not some past time you can call whenever you're bored, Haechan. We're adults now. I've invested my time, my feelings, a fraction of my life to you. For this. And you can't even answer me, is that too much to ask? Am I too much?"
You look at him, waiting for him to argue back. You didn't know it was this draining to be in a relationship or situationship or whatever it is you have with him. At some point you got tired of asking him what this all means. When it's clear he's not going to answer you, you stood up from your seat
"I can't do this" you whispered
"What?"
"I can't. I can't do what you're asking, Haechan" you speak clearer this time
He waits a few moments, letting the words sink in.
"What do you mean? I thought you said... you said we can"
With every word he tries not to show he's breaking right and the only thing keeping him together is you, and here you are about to slip through his fingers.
"We can't keep all promises, right? Like how you promised you'll try. This isn't trying."
"Baby-" "Don't" you cut him off. You know it will be a lot harder to walk away if you hear him call you that, it's already hard on you now.
"This is me letting you go" were your last words to him before walking away. You wipe the few tears that escaped, plastering a very fake smile before taking the first step away.
One of many you'd try to take just to get away from this heartbreak.
You would want to say that's not how it ended, that he changed his mind and finally mustered the courage to call you and say what he's really thinking. You want to say that he came the next day and surprised you, knocking on your door holding sunflowers for you.
But no.
After that day you never heard from him again. When you got the (unspoken) message that he'll never try to reach out and fix things between the two of you, you blocked him on everything. Your friends didn't ask questions, you went on with your life. Trying your best to bury and let that part of your story go.
From spending every day and most nights together to being strangers. You acted like he never existed to cover up the hurt you're feeling.
It's been over a year since that. You haven't really cried about it. Not even the day after he left. It's like you're just a shell now. You locked everything in a pandora box in your head, to be forgotten for the rest of time.
"Hey did you hear Dreamers new song?" your roommate asks the moment she steps through the door. You were sitting on the dinning chair, stacks of works and your laptop infront of you
She hears the song playing in the background, "Of course you have, it's good right?" she smiles
"Mhm, I like it"
"Sorry, Heart. Definitely an anthem for the broken hearted" she says withouth meaning out, "I meant like you know it's a sad song" she adds
You chuckle, she probably thinks this song is very fitting for you and you kinda agree with her.
"Anyways, I'm going to the lounge later. Want to come with?"
"Sounds good, I actually need to go out, stretch my legs and get some fresh air"
"Okay, let's leave after lunch"
You met with other friends at the lounge, chatting and sharing notes together. It was a good way to pass time. These days you find that it's best to keep yourself occupied so as not to think about things you'd rather not think about. You kept yourself busy. Finding random hobbies, fixation. For a while you liked running after class, then you got into baking, then crocheting. Activities that keeps you busy, distracted long enough not to remember.
One day you were at a record store, your newest hobby. Browsing for a new record to take home. Today out of the days you forgot to bring your headphones so you hum along the music playing in the store.
While reading the back of the record you were holding, you hear it.
A familiar voice you haven't heard in a long time, a voice you didn't think you'd hear again.
Your head shoots up, looking at the other side of the aisle.
You'd know his voice anywhere. You can be inside the loudest room and you'd still be able to single out his voice.
There he stands right across you, signing out your favorite bands newest song while he has his headphones on. Probably not realizing he's singing a bit too loud.
When Haechan felt someone staring at him, he looks up not expecting you to be looking back at him. He blinks a few times, comtemplating if this was all a dream or he's going crazy and started to hallucinate.
Immediately you put back the record you were holding and ran out the store. Once again leaving Haechan behind.
You're already far by the time he takes the steps to follow you, thinking this time he's not going to make the same mistake but you were already gone.
He knows you blocked him. Of course he tried to call you but his efforts were shut down when he couldn't reach you or his messages won't deliver.
Similar to you, he tried to find distractions. To drown out the thoughts, he drinks, goes out to parties, too many nights he drunk texted you, saying how much he missed you only to see it in the morning unsent. Most of the time there's music directly blasting through his ears. Music being his only escape from his own thoughts, if he's left long enough it's like his own mind is beating him up.
That's how he got into collecting records. He was on the look out for this new record so he decided to drop by the store that day. He didn't expect to see you there.
Out of all the places he'd see you again.
He's not going to lie, he imagined this moment many times before. Even rehearsed what he'd say to you when he see you again but now that it happened he just froze on the spot.
Just like that it's like he back in his room, watching you walk out his door for the last time. He's back to square one.
It's been weeks and no sign of Haechan. It's a good thing, you think.
Also you've been subtly avoiding going to public places just in case you accidently see him again. You thought you're ready, but the moment you saw him it's like all of these emotions you've repressed since you left came back again.
Your roommate finally convinced you to come out. A few of you were gathering for karaoke night. You almost said no again but you need a night out, one more night in your room might just drive you crazy.
"Oh my gosh, girlie you're hereeeee" one of your friends squeals when she saw you walk in the room
"I'm here as a spectator, not to sing" you tell her, accepting the bottle of beer she hands you
"Alright by me, you better cheer the loudest when I sing"
You got invited to karaoke night. A couple of students from campus got together tonight to hang out for chill night. Even though you don't really sing, you do enjoy hanging out with your friends.
You were talking to another friend when suddenly you hear the intro to a familiar song being sung by a familiar voice.
왜 이리도 쉽게 토라지는지? (Why do I become mad so easily) 내 맘이 작아서 너무 한심하지? (It's pathetic that my heart is so small right?)
You look over the makeshift stage to see Haechan holding the mic, singing out one of your favorite songs.
어떻게 널 볼까? (How can I see you?) 밤새 뒤척인 맘의 조각들 반짝이지 않아 (I toss and torn all night The fragments of my heart don't shine) 난 알고 있는데 내가 할 수 있는 건 (I know it, what I can do is) "I'm sorry", 그 말뿐이란 걸 (Only those words)
Before the chorus starts, Haechan looks through the crowd finding you. He looks straight at you as if he's singing every word to you.
Words you wished you heard from him a long time ago.
Tell me why I let you down Any chance I get, I'm breaking down 잘못인 걸 다 아는데 (아는데), 왜 힘든 걸까? (I know I'm at fault but why is it tiring?) To tell you that I'm sorry, heart
For the rest of the song the two of you look at each other. You listen to him, imagining it was really him who was saying those words and not through the song.
When he finished, you stood up to go outside and get some fresh air.
Of course he's here. Luck was never on your side and fate seems to like playing jokes on you.
Haechan watches your back, giving the mic to the next person before following you out. You hear the footsteps behind you, knowing who it might be without looking back.
You're now at the rooftop of the building, a fewer people were hanging out here than inside. Feeling another presence beside you but they haven't said anything yet.
Even though you already know who it was, you don't say anything instead you get another beer from a nearby cooler and passing it over to Haechan without a word.
For a while neither of you said anything, watching the view in front of you.
“I get flashbacks when I see you and not the good kind” you finally speak out loud
“You’re saying that like I was the worst thing that ever happened to you” he snickers, holding the bottle up to his lips to drink his beer
He really didn’t think you’d talk to him or even acknowledge his existence at all. But now here you are, at some rooftop at a party he least expected to see you.
He’s trying not to be too obvious but he can’t keep his eyes off of you. Maybe it was the way the light hit your face, or how the cold breeze was hitting his skin and yours. The moment he arrived he was kind of hoping to find you here tonight. He knew some of your friends were coming, you did use to have the same circle of friends until he started to distance himself.
He's glad though knowing you found good people who'll be there for you.
He's looking at you again, not being able to stop himself. It was at this moment he realized. Realized something he never thought he was ever capable of ever doing again.
Feeling. Loving. Falling and accepting.
The sound of horns from cars and the murmuring people in the background, the city lights in front the two of you and the stars as the witnesses. Witness for something that’s about to unfold.
It was scary. This new found knowledge scared him.
In the past it was scary to him to even think about being tied down. To be committed to someone. All of this comes from his fear of failing. He wanted to tell you that before, the last day before you ended things between the two of you he wanted to let you know the reason why he couldn’t set things straight with you was because he was scared of letting you down. He was scared you might feel trapped.
It's wasn't you who was too much for him. He was the one who felt like he was too much for you. He thought he was being too fast, too careless. His fears got the better of him, costing him a future with you.
You walked away and everything in his life got worse. Like the only light in his life was extinguished.
Right now feels like that one chance to get things right. Even though he still feels scared, this time he’s willing to take that risk for you.
There are other things to be scared of, like your gaze. It was the way you were looking at him.
Like you can just consume all of him with those eyes. How you’re saying a thousand words with them without saying a single syllable.
One look into his own eyes and he's ready to surrender everything to you.
“Do you really want to hear my answer to that or are you still emotionally unavailable?” you ask, taking a sip of your own drink.
“At what point did you realize you liked me? Like really liked me?” he asked instead, all he got was a laugh from you. You were laughing out loud like it was the funniest joke you’ve ever heard.
“We were watching a movie, I mumbled something under my breath. I think it was something along the lines of ‘oh that’s so cute’, talking to myself. Then I felt you hold my hand, you kissed it before holding it in yours for the rest of the movie. It’s not the grandest gesture but at that moment I felt so content. It was all I wanted but I knew you didn’t think the same way” you smile sadly recalling that memory. Giving him an answer, wondering why you did.
"I guess I never said sorry, I'm sorry"
You shrug, taking another swig from your drink. "What's done is done. I would say no hard feelings but I kinda do hate you for what you did"
"Good. I'd be sadder if you said you didn't care. Hate isn't the opposite of love, it's indifference" he says
"Was that what you felt for me before? Indifference?" you can't help but ask, in your mind you're not sure if you're ready to hear his answer but it's too late to take it back
He shakes his head, drinking the rest of his drink before standing straight to face you
"I felt more for you, more than I ever said. In that I was wrong, I admit. I should've told you. It might be no use in telling you now, but I did feel something for you. I was being stupid and was too scared to admit it"
"Then why are you telling me now?"
"Because I realized not having you in my life is scarier than the thoughts in my head. I was too scared of my own mind, I sacrificed you instead when I shouldn't have. I could've told you. I wish I told you"
You listen to him, letting it sink in. For so long you asked just what went wrong, what you could've done differently or what would've happened if you stayed.
"I waited, I waited until you told me you liked me. But the more I waited, the more I started to not like myself. I knew I deserved more but I stayed because I wanted to be with you. You were always first to me" you say
Hearing you say those words breaks something in him. He did like you, he still likes you. Haechan has always kept a safe distance from everyone, you were the only exception.
"I'm glad we got to talk" you say to him with a smile, then you walk back inside.
This time Haechan didn't follow you because he knows this won't be the last time he sees you.
"Oh my gosh, so that's what happened between the two of you?"
After that conversation with Haechan, you went back to your place and called it a night. The next day your roommate noticed you were staring blankly into space, out of concern she asked you what's wrong. You told her all that happened in the past 24 hours then you told her all about your history with Haechan.
"Yep, I haven't seen him around campus that much after that"
"You know, one of his friends is my blockmate and we go to the same gym. I heard he did an exchange program for a year, maybe that's why you haven't seen him around" she tells you
"Oh really, he did mention it before. Maybe he went through with it" you mumbled
"So you guys were like in a situationship then?"
"I guess so. We weren't exclusive, but he was the only guy I was seeing for like 2 years. Remember when I was barely home"
"Oh! That was him? He used to like send food here all the time whenever you were busy studying"
"What?"
"Oh my god I forgot to tell you that? yea this was like when you guys were a thing. During exam season or when you're busy with reports and stuff, he'd drop off food for you" she tells you
"I thought you had those delivered"
"Girl no, half of the time he leaves it at our door. The only reason I know is because I caught him one time and he fessed up"
No, you definitely didn't know that.
Haechan never told you. He never told you anything. At some point you thought it was better to not ask instead of being met with silence as a reply.
One thing you know though is he's the type to take action rather than say it. You won't be surprised if he did it before, he might not be good at expressing himself but he never passed the chance to make you feel like you're the only girl in his world.
It feels like that was another lifetime ago, that at some point in your life you'd rather be the backburner than totally lose him.
Seeing him again was no help. It's like you spiraled down again. You thought he didn't have this effect on you anymore but you were wrong. You'd be lying if you say you haven't thought of him since you saw him last.
What you didn't know was Haechan felt exactly the same. He's trying to think of a way to reach out to you without seeming to needy, he didn't want you to think he's forcing himself back into your life.
Another week has passed and still no sign of you. He decided to get drinks with his friends, he's a few drinks in when he decided to call it an early night. This really wasn't where he wanted to be.
He's not sure where he wants to be. All he knows is his night would be a thousand times better if he sees you, even just a glimpse.
On his walk back to his place, he plucked a branch from a random plant. Picking out the leaves one by one, leaving a trail behind him.
You're on your way back from the library, deciding to get some midnight snacks first. You noticed the scattered leaves on the road, chuckling at the sight. The more steps you take, you slowly realized it's the same path to your apartment.
You slowed down, looking around to check if anybody was close to you but the street is empty. You grab your phone in your pocket just in case, while you hold your keys with the other hand.
When you're nearing your front door, you see someone sitting at the steps. Head lying low, you can't even see his face but you'd know that brown mop of hair anywhere.
"Haechan?" you called out for him
Haechan looks up, seeing you walking towards him. At first he thinks he's dreaming, he wipes his eyes to clear his vision. Even pinched his arm to check if this was real.
You're here.
He's here.
"What are you doing here?" you asked once you're standing right in front of him
"I grabbed drinks with Yangyang and Jeno, I swear I was walking home. I guess I got confused" he mumbles, now holding a branch with no leaves on it.
You look at it, then looked back at the trail of leaves behind you.
"Do you want to come in? Go drink some water or coffee first before you head back" you offered
"Are you sure?" he asks back, standing up from the steps
"Wouldn't offer if I wasn't. Let's go inside, it's getting chilly"
He steps aside to let you go first, following behind you. The elevator ride up to your floor was quiet, even after going in your apartment Haechan didn't say a word.
"Here, have some water. I can make coffee but it's too late to drink it, do you want ramen or something?" you ask him while getting the snacks you got out of the grocery bag
"Do you usually ask guys to come in with you and cook ramen for them?" he asks
He meant to only think of it, but with the little amount of alcohol in his system seems to have turn the filter off.
You snicker at his question. Instead of answering him, you grab two ramen cup noodles from your cupboard and turn the kettle on. You wait for the red light to turn green before pouring it in the cups, bringing it over the kitchen island and taking the seat beside him.
"I can't even order late night snacks without thinking about you, we used to do it all the time when I came over at yours or when we're having late night hangouts. You ruined a lot of things for me" you finally say
Haechan just looks at your profile. Even though you say it like that, there's really no trace of anger on your face. Maybe you are, but to him you look so pretty and cozy. He wanted to beat himself up for ever thinking he can walk away from this. From you.
"For what it's worth, whenever I get drunk I used to text you all the time. You probably blocked me because the messages never got delivered. Every morning I see that on my phone, message after message until I lost count. I knew you weren't going to answer but I still did it"
"Why?" you ask him
"I missed you. I wanted to tell you I was being stupid, I wanted to beg for you to take me back. But all of those thing I could only say with a bit of help from alcohol. That's how I knew I couldn't go back, not yet anyways. You deserved more than drunken confessions"
You look over at him, for the first time since that night you really look at him. The same eyes that used to feel like home to you.
He looked so different yet the same.
You still feel the same.
"It's been 3 minutes, you hate soggy noodles" you nod at his ramen. Opening your own cup to start eating. Neither of you said anything after that. It wasn't awkward, you actually enjoyed the quiet.
For the first time since Haechan came back and you saw him again, your mind was at peace. You weren't overthinking things. You weren't wondering your long list of what if's.
It's like a part of you knew he's finally here again.
After the quick snack session, he helped you clean up before walking towards the door.
"Thank you for the uh snacks and water" he didn't know what to say, a shy Haechan is a rare sight so you can't help but smile.
Haechan sees this, he can feel his own cheeks redden. You still look so beautiful when you smile, so beautiful that he's ready to fight anyone who makes you smile that isn't him.
"Go home, it's late. You're sober now right?" you ask him
"Yea, I'm good"
"Okay, don't want you getting confused and going to someone else's front door"
"I promise I won't drunk text you again so will you unblock me now? Or if you have a new number you can text me or whatever. Actually you know what, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Don't listen to me, I'm just blabbing now"
You can't help but giggle at him, the action making Haechan's heart skip a few beats.
"I'm imagining this is how those drunk texts would sound like" you say
"I missed you, Y/N" he mumbles
You don't say anything. He can hear his own heartbeating, each thump like it's the last then you're smiling back at him
"Goodnight, Haechan"
He smiles at you, waving goodbye before finally walking out. He gestures for you to close the door behind him, only leaving after he hears the lock from the other side. He skips back home.
The next few days were back to normal, you weren't feeling gloomy. You were going out with friends. All in all, you're in a great mood.
"Hey, somebody left this outside. Tell me I'm crazy but is this from Haechan?" your roommate hands you over a small bouquet of flowers with a paper bag full of snacks.
"Uh yeah, I think so"
"I know things didn't end well between the two of you, but the boy is still so whipped for you" she mumbles, watching the small smile on your face
"Maybe it's just a peace offering"
"Right, well whatever it might be I say go for it. As long as you're happy"
You look up at her, shocked to hear that all of a sudden "Isn't that what you're worrying about? You really think I didn't notice it, you were listening to Sorry, Heart on repeat the other day then now you're listening to love songs. If he's it for you, then give it a chance"
She left after that, leaving you alone at home.
You take the gifts Haechan sent to your room, putting the flowers in a vase. You see a small note attached,
xx12131xxx just in case you lost it or changed your number. - H
You get your phone and dial the number, it's still in your phone. You unblock it first before you click call, waiting a few rings before you hear his voice
"Y/N?"
"How did you know it was me?"
"I wasn't expecting anyone else, and uh it looks like you didn't change your number"
"Oh yea uhm so you're unblocked now" you told him, not really sure what else to say
He chuckles, "Thanks, so I'm guessing you got the flowers and the snacks?"
"Yeah, thanks by the way. Why though?"
"You shared your stash with me the other night, just wanted to pay you back"
"You didn't have to, I offered. But thanks again"
"Hey uh are you busy right now? or tomorrow or really whenever you're free"
"I don't have anymore classes today"
"Do you want to go grab coffee or food or anything really. Whatever you want, my treat"
If someone told you you'd be going out to get drinks with Haechan, you'd say they're out of their mind. But here you are, visiting a new cafe you've never been to with a guy you thought you'd never be with again.
"I'd get the taro milktea, thanks"
"I'll take this one" he points at the drink in the picture, "And two of the cookies please, thank you" he pulls out his card to pay for the both of you. When you got your drinks and food, you walked back outside to sit on the vacant seats. The weather was nice, it wasn't too hot or too cold. A perfect day to be out.
You open your drink, taking a quick sip while Haechan does the same. You notice he made the face, like when he drinks or eats something sour.
"It's lemon flavored isn't it?" you chuckle, taking the drink from him and giving yours to him instead
"No, it's fine. I'll drink it"
"You hate anything sour flavored, I like lemon it's fine" you sip his drink, it does taste good but you know he won't like it
He watches you get the cookies, breaking it in half before giving him the other.
"If you have anything to say, just say it. You're too in your head again" you tell him
"Sorry, I was just..." he's at lost for words, but this time not for the wrong reason.
It's like his mind can't put what he's feeling in to words.
"Did you get the record you were looking for?" you ask him, changing the topic
"Huh?"
"At the record store"
"Oh I wasn't really buying anything, I was just browsing around. They didn't have the vinyl version of the album I wanted, I'll come back some other time" he tells you, taking a sip of your well now his drink.
"You were singing to the Dreamers, you know them?"
"I know a few songs, Sorry, Heart is good. I like that one"
"Me too. You sounded good when you sang it" you complimented him, this made him smile shyly at you
"Isn't it a bit too sad?" he asks, you shrug your shoulders
"I like it, although my roommate said I've been playing love songs these past few days" you shake your head, remembering what she told you
"Thank you by the way" Haechan suddenly says
"For what? You paid for our drinks"
"I meant for agreeing to get drinks with me. I was an asshole to you. All the time I was gone, I was thinking about how to make it up to you. That is if it's okay with you" he tells you.
He mentally pats himself on the back for not messing that up. Maybe slowly he'll learn how to speak his true feelings, he just hopes you'll be there to listen to him. Even though it took him this long.
"The last thing you asked me was what are we, I was being stupid. I wanted us to be more. I wanted us to be official but I was always scared to say it. I don't know why I was ever scared of committing, I could've been with you. That's my regret"
"Haechan"
"You're not a playtoy to me or just some past time whenever I'm bored. You were never too much for me. If anything I was the one who lacked. I don't blame you for walking away, I deserved that. I needed that so I could finally grow up"
You listen to him. You listen to him finally say the words you've been waiting to hear from him.
"This time I want to do it right, I want to take you out on dates, be there to go on night walks with you, go buy records we'd listen to, whatever you want to I just wan to do it with you. If you'll still have me"
The last words was barely a whisper, like he's scared to say it outloud, scared you might turn him away.
Haechan feels his heart beating wildly again, one day he might pass from arrest he thinks. Then you smile at him and it's like everything in his world stops.
You lean over, kissing the corner of his lip lightly. It was so quick but to him it felt like long time
"All I wanted was that, when it gets too much in your head you can talk to me. I'll listen. We don't have to walk away from each other" you tell him
"I'm sorry" he whispers
"I forgive you, the same way I forgive myself from everything that has happened. We need to heal from those wounds for us to move forward"
He smiles at you, he didn't even notice he got a bit teary eyed until a few tears escaped. He wipes it away before looking back at you again.
You stand up from your seat, holding out your hand to him. He looks at your hand then your face then your hand again before intertwining it with his.
There wasn't a destination in mind, he's probably thinking the same. The two of you just walk where your steps lead you to, with him following beside you holding you close to him.
Haechan looks at your hands, a smile forming on his face. He leans towards you to kiss you on the head, the action making you smile too.
"Thank you" you hear him mumble. You didn't say anything back but he felt you grip his hand tighter. Squeezing it three times.
And he knew everything was finally going to be okay. This time, you won't let go.
#story#tags#request#nct#nct fic#nct recommended#nct reads#nct dream#nct 127#nct haechan#nct imagine#nct scenario#nct fluff#nct angst#nct au#haechan imagine#haechan oneshot#haechan scenario#haechan fluff#haechan angst
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Quick Pick: Messages From Your Person
Hello, my loves! It's been way too long, but I'm finally back (hopefully for a long time) with a new reading as well as a bit of a rebrand. Today's reading is focused on messages from your person (kind of in the realm of a future spouse but generally a long-term partner) but I think for some of you it may come across as a current partner as well.
This is a pretty experimental reading for me. I want to start including an 'energy check' of sorts to help you better figure out if a pile is for you or not. I've done 'channelled' messages before but I felt weird about them so I've decided to give it a try again. The message aspect of this reading is just a free-flow writing of the cards that were pulled. And of course, I decided to play around a little bit more with my graphics. I'm always open to feedback, so I'd love to gather your thoughts on the set-up and reading itself.
Elle 🌿
P.S. I'm trying to re-do my masterlist but can't locate all my old pacs easily. If you come across one, I wouldn't mind if you send me the link. 🙏
Support My Work | MASTERLIST
Disclaimer: When reading tarot, my aim is to focus on self-reflection and seeking guidance. The readings you'll find here are designed to add a pinch of fun and entertainment to your day. While I might sprinkle in some advice that hopefully vibes with you, please remember that these insights aren't a substitute for any professional advice you might need-- after all, you know your journey best! For any love-related or future-focused readings, consider them captivating musings exploring possibilities. Divination inspired stories even. I can't predict the future but I do hope to add some enjoyment and insights into your everyday. Lastly my darlings, please take from these readings what resonates with you most, be it some, all or none, and leave the rest. 🌟
PILE 1
Note: Pile 1 your pile gave me absolute hell the first time around 😭. I was writing/channelling the message and the energy literally just gave way at one point, I was flabbergasted 🫨. Anyway, the second pull was much clearer, but I included notes I felt were important from the first pull in the post-reading notes section.
Your Energy:
Going through an awakening. A need or call for self-reflection. A new cycle is beginning. You must face what you are running from within, but you must also be patient. Rely on your inner strength. Needing to learn more about yourself before doing/trying something different. Potentially finding yourself in part of a mentorship. Connecting with people similar to yourself. Navigating regrets. Needing to let go of the old you. Needing to ground yourself. A strong energy of needing to look within yourself. It is time to prepare yourself for your next journey.
The Message:
Can you let the past go? We’ve been through so much, the both of us, on our own and together. Why do you hold on to it when our future is waiting for us? I know I hurt you and I apologize. You didn’t deserve any of the pain I caused you. I don’t blame you [it felt like there was a specific reason but I couldn’t get the specifics] but I feel lost without you. I could tell you why, I want to, but words mean nothing without action. You know my story. My relationship with my mother, how that shaped me. You know I love the attention of it all, having everyone’s eyes on me. Makes me feel good.. makes me feel. But no one else’s attention mattered like yours did. I felt most close to myself with you. Please, please let go of that version of me you’re holding onto in your head. I’m taking space because I need to heal. I need to heal my relationship with me first before I can heal it with us. This isn’t goodbye; just so long for now. I’m taking time to put that me in the past too and find myself and what I want from this life. I mean it’s simple really, I want you, us. I want to give you the good life you deserve, but I need to fix myself first. Give me the self-love I deserve.
Post-Reading Notes:
There’s a mature, sad regretful energy. Someone on a journey of self-exploration. Two hurting souls who met at the wrong time. One of you may be further along in your healing journey or you’ve both healed parts of yourself and your relationship that the other one hasn’t healed yet.
First Pull Notes:
One of the first things that came to mind for me is a dark night of the soul… I haven’t heard that term in so long and I’ve completely forgotten what it means, but for someone in this pile, I feel like that may resonate a lot. Going through a tough time. Blow after blow. Your higher self or inner wisdom is trying to reach you. Introspection before a new beginning. An ending of something you don’t want to let go of?
Big things are happening in your life, and significant changes are taking place even though it might not seem that way right now. Lots of air energy. Gaining mental clarity is super important for you right now. Breakup vibes? You two are like opposite sides or motivations of the same energy. Holding on when you know you should let go. This is definitely your person (one of the cards literally says ‘You’re my person’).
PILE 2
Your Energy:
For some of you are at the end of suffering but lying to yourself about the truth of the outcome, while for others you’re running from the mistakes made along the way. Maybe it's both. You’re still grieving all that is lost, be gentle with yourself. Hard work and consistency may await you but keep at it. Adventure is closer than you think. You’re on the brink of success. Moving forward hurts, but you must. Your person (or something you've been romanticising) is waiting for you. You just have to be brave enough to step through the gate. Opportunities are coming your way. If you're interested in floral hobbies or embroidery go for it.
The Message:
I hear you. I haven’t given up on you. I hear the songs you play for me, I hear the songs of your heart. You’re my love, my soulmate. We were meant to be, you and me. You’re not crazy or insane, or any other term you demean yourself with. You’re my everything. I can feel your soul even though we’re apart. If I close my eyes hard enough, I can feel you there. I can see your sparkling soul mirroring mine... sad eyes, bright smile, you leave me in awe. I know you call to me, and I’m sorry I’m not there. Don’t hate me for it, please. I’m leaving behind all that has been holding me back… the same as you. I’m sorry it’s so lonely. I want to meet. What do you say? Impromptu trip to the tropics? Somewhere cold? I just want to escape the world with you and lie in your arms. You’re my home. I sit in your energy and let it guide me your way. But I do need time. Please be patient with me. I haven’t abandoned you. I’m finding me, for you. I dream about you so often and being the kind of person you’d inspire me to be.
Post-Reading Notes:
"I need you to run to me, run to me, lover." (Run by Hozier, the chorus specifically. I know the song is supposed to be a metaphor but I'm suggesting it at face value). A very healing energy to your person's messages. Your person could also fantasise about you a lot... in a non-x-rated 18+ kind of way. It was mentioned on one of the cards but that part of the card felt awkward in the rest of the cards. They’re possessive, it doesn't seem like in a negative or extreme way but again, that's not something that was strong or clear. There’s something to do with the attention of others. They just want to be yours completely… Honestly, a submissive yet dominant kind of energy. A protector and/or provider (take that as you will) who is absolutely smitten with you and will do anything you say.
I don't typically read for it, but one of the cards had twin flame written on it. It could also be symbolic of mirroring each other in your personal journeys in life.
PILE 3
Your Energy:
Powerful yet solitary energy. A new chapter of your life. Accomplishing a big goal. Moving to a new location. Creating a good foundation for yourself in preparation for what comes next. Balancing your energies. Sleep issues. Struggling with anxiety or managing thoughts after a traumatic event. Celebration. Having security. Authoritarian role or vibes.
The Message:
Okay, I can do this: I can’t get you off of my mind. I’m constantly thinking of you, viewing your content, trying to set myself up to run into you. I know it’s silly, especially since you hurt me. Who pines after the person that hurt them? Well, it wasn't meant to be mean. You’re just so mysterious I can’t ever read you and it or you make me nervous. I’m always worrying about what to say. I want to talk to you but opening up to others is hard. I’m afraid I’ll start crying or you’ll hear my voice crack. You’re my person. I’m sure of it. You’re everything I’ve hoped for in a person, everything I dream about before I go to sleep at night. You’re doing so well for yourself, but I want to spoil you and be there for you. Not always materially. I know you can cover that for yourself. But being there for you and spending time with you… I heard you were seeing someone. I hope it’s not true and even if it is, I hope it doesn't last. No, I’m not sorry. I’m going to work up the courage to reach out to you soon.
Post-Reading Notes:
Oh Pile 3, you’re so intimidating to your person. Secret admirer vibes. I definitely think you’ve got a very serious or professional energy and an intimidating appearance. That may especially be true if you’re taller than average for your demographic/s. The energies here feel very balanced or neutral (not heavily feminine or masculine) on both your end and theirs.
PILE 4
Your Energy:
Such a beautiful light-hearted energy. There’s such a beautiful and hopeful energy in this relationship here but it’s also possible someone or something is working against you right now. A very important decision is being made. Someone could be trying to take something from you, but keep going. You’ve got this incredible power/energy to you. Vows are super important, be it making them with someone else or making a vow to yourself to gain or achieve something. Collaboration. Having everything you need to succeed. There could be challengers coming your way but you're strong enough to overcome them.
The Message:
I’m sorry. I don’t know, that was immature of me. I swear it wasn’t like you thought but don’t worry I’m going to do better. Honest. You know, I dream about us being together and growing old. I dream about our kids. They’re so stinking cute. We’ve still got growing to do, ok, or I’ve still got growing to do. Please talk to me. You know I hate it when you give me the silent treatment. I know I disappeared on you and that wasn’t cool. I just get so… I care about you a lot. I don’t want to see you hurt. I want the best for you. I know I act all big and bad but I’m a softie at heart. That fight was weird. I don’t like it. It wasn’t like us. It meant nothing I know. Would you pack up and run away with me if I asked? I hate the distance between us right now. Im always listening to our playlist. I know I acted like I'm uninterested in something serious but I am. I want you. I miss you. I want to spoil you and give you everything you deserve. Just give me a chance. Please hear me out.
Post-Reading Notes:
The vibes while doing the reading felt like very young vibes? There’s a youthfulness there. Someone who either is actually young in age or hasn’t grown up emotionally in a certain aspect. It felt like they did something prideful that was hurtful to you and you two are in a disconnect during the moment captured in the reading. It didn’t feel like a serious fight. More so when you’re upset with someone and acting like you’re madder than you really are (your vibes) and the other person is sweating and begging you to talk to them again (their vibes).
Also, idk why but Peter Parker kept coming into my head 🕸️. I’m not feeling to analyse it so take it as you will.
#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#pac reading#pick a card reading#pick a pile reading#cozycottagetarot#future spouse reading#future spouse tarot reading#messages from your person#cozycottagetarot readings
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pretty sounds | steve harrington x reader
summary you and Steve share an apartment while you're both away in Uni, one night he comes earlier than he should and gets to enjoy himself
warnings fem!reader, 18+ mdni this is just smut guys i'm sorry. english is not my first language so I apologise if there’s some mistakes, not proof read!
a/n part 2 is up!
Steve always took his showers in the morning.
You preferred them at night.
Sharing a small flat with him was a quiet experience. He’d spent most of his time out of it anyway, preferring to study at the University library, or at the coffee shop you had down the corner. Or working half shifts in the small record store, where you also worked.
Roommate and coworker Steve were two very different people.
Roommate Steve was prone to laugh at your stupid jokes and watch stupid movies with you on the couch.
Coworker Steve tried not to talk to you that much, scared that if your boss saw you two chatting it up, he’d get accused of flirting with you. Scared that it was painfully obvious to everyone else but you.
But it was impossible for him to not stare at you when you’d come home exhausted after a stressful shift and mutter under your breath how much you wanted a hot shower. Or how he’d wait painfully to hear the record you had been playing while you studied in your room stop, knowing that you were about to knock on his door and tell him that if he had to go to the bathroom he better do it now before you took your very deserved long shower.
He often teased you about how much you’d like to have a bath instead.
You’d laugh it off, even though he was absolutely right.
The truth is, he loves to hear you while the water hits your body.
The bathroom stood between his room and yours.
His bed against the wall, he usually laid down on it with a second hand book about whatever topic he needed to research for his next paper on American Revolution History or European History and its impact in Modern World. It didn’t matter to him, because in the next ten to twenty minutes he could hear you singing to yourself, your voice drowned by the noise of flowing water hitting your wet body. Though he did love it when you’d talk to yourself.
Today was different.
He’d come home later than he usually does, he had spent way more time than he intended stuck in the library trying to write his last paper on the Spanish Republic and he had little to no information on it, and he had exhausted himself enough to go straight to his bed, letting his body hit the mattress without even bothering to turn on the lights.
That’s when he heard the shower turning on.
At least he can hear you sing for him for a bit he thinks.
But he was wrong for once.
You thought you were alone, you thought you could be as loud as you wanted to, or as much as you needed to. The truth is, you had been crushing on Steve for a while now, and sometimes, only sometimes, you fantasized about him. Maybe more than you’ve been proud of.
So now, as you were standing there, with the hot steam hugging all the parts of your body, and the water dripping drow your curves, you started thinking about how it would feel if what was keeping you warm wasn’t the hot air, but him, standing behind you, kissing every inch of your bare skin.
You couldn’t help yourself, not now. So your fingers traveled down your folds, your fingers playing lazily with your dripping wet pussy, circling your clit as you thought of him, soft small moans came out of your mouth. And the hunger only grew, as images of him walking around the flat without his shirt and hair dripping wet invaded your mind. The way his hair sticks onto his forehead every morning, and he always smiles at you before telling you good morning in that husky early morning voice.
It was driving you crazy, so you started touching yourself with more speed, a clearer pattern, tempting your entrance as one of your fingers graced it.
Unknown to you, Steve was laying on the other side of the wall, his eyes opened as he heard you moaning, with each one growing louder and clearer, his mind became clouded, as he felt the way his jeans started to feel to tight on him, he needed to free himself, so he did the only thing he felt like he could. He sighed as his cock hitted his stomach once his pants and underwear laid on the floor. And he began stroking himself, softly, slowly, letting himself be guided by your voice as you whined.
The only thing that made him touch himself faster is when he heard the way your voice moaned his name.
You were so close to cumming, one of your hands had three of your fingers deep inside you, reaching that spot that made you see stars, as the other held the shower head closely to your clit, the vibrations of it making it feel when you closed your eyes that he was the one eating you out. And even after you had comed and you had screamed his name as loud as you could you left it there for a moment, recomposing yourself. Wishing he was there so you could kiss him, wishing he’d feel what you feel.
He did, but you didn’t know, though now he did.
His hands wrapped around his throbbing cock fast, and tightly, he resorted to biting his lower lip so he wouldn’t be a whippering mess, but he couldn’t help himself when he came all over his stomach and he looked down at himself, with the stupidest grin he could fathom.
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if you enjoyed it please leave a comment or reblog. i promise it makes a huge difference <3
requests are open
#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington stranger things#steve harrington imagine#stranger things steve#stablished relationship#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve stranger things#steve x reader#sts4#steve harrington x afab!reder#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington one shot#steve harrington headcanon#steve harrington x fem#steve harrington x ex!reader#steve harrington hurt/comfort#steve harrington x you#stranger things 4#stranger things fanfiction fem!reader#stranger things fic#stranger things x reader#fluff steve harrington#hurt/comfort#friends to lovers#miscomunication trope
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Summary: Aventurine wouldn't mind being your personal mannequin forever if it meant having you this close to him
Fem!reader who's a popular fashion designer all throughout the universe, currently just "friends" with aventurine here, more like sugar daddy tho- very self indulgent because I have my oc in mind while writing this lol
"Not that I'm questioning your process when it comes to your craft, but aren't you tired?"
"Hm nope, not at all are you?"
"I've handled far worse than just standing for a few hours, don't mind me friend, continue"
While that wasn't exactly a lie, it has been a couple of hours since Aventurine was made to be a makeshift mannequin for you, this was supposed to be a day to relax and take both your mind off work.
But it seems that inspiration has struck the minute you laid eyes on a particular fabric store that just got a new stock on a handful of interesting designs, without a second thought you rushed in, your companion had looked away for one second and the next he sees that you've already made yourself comfortable shuffling through the many options to choose from.
As he made his way back to your side, the faint sound of you mumbling under your breath could be heard clearer and clearer, while he didn't quite catch all of it, he was able to piece some things, one of which you wishing you had your mannequin back at the boutique right about now.
"Hey, why not use me for a bit?"
While Aventurine obviously isn't a mannequin, he can sure act like one if you need it, and that you did so you agreed without putting much thought into it, making a mental note to make him a little something as thanks.
And now here you two were, in the middle of the store as you try to pin fabric with your hands on Aventurine's body, he expected this to happen after all he's not the type to willingly volunteer for something without it benefiting him in some way, but he was not prepared for how close you'd be.
Practically an inch away from him, chest against his as you maneuver the fabric in your hands all over him trying to come up with a design in mind, his nose catching a whiff of your shampoo as the top of your head was practically in his face, he's mastered the art of keeping a poker face but a couple hours of this, no one can blame the man for cracking as time goes on.
Luckily for him it seems you've finally finished whatever it was you were doing, he can't even remember even though you were talking about it earlier, his mind growing muddled with serotonin.
He managed to snap out of it as you call over a worker to place an order for your chosen items, and of course pay for it, Aventurine beat you to it though handing his card while softly smiling.
"It's on me"
"What? Aventurine I can pay for it myself, there's really no need to-"
"I insist, it's a treat for how much I enjoyed being your little helper"
Just as you were about to contradict him, insisting even more that you should be the one paying since he already helped you, the worker has already swiped his card handing it back to him and walked off to prepare your order.
You could only facepalm, this wasn't the first time that he has thwarted your attempts at paying for your own things, he's done it so many times you've lost count, and while it's a fact that all of it combined wouldn't make a dent in his wallet, you still couldn't hell but feel guilty.
Not for long though as you could feel a hand gently patting your head, peaking up at him you could see a soft smile on his face.
"You know the deal~" he said in a singsong way
You playfully rolled your eyes
"Yeah yeah, Just let me know when you're free and we'll hang out again"
It was weird to you at first how that was the only thing he wanted after spending so much on you, but overtime you've sorta started to understand it, and want it as much as he does as well.
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Who is the real Creator?
Hello! I have a bit of an announcement to make I don't think everyone has seen the previous post but an anon asked me if I will continue the series and to be honest I don't think I will. This series was made on a whim and was really fun to write except I hit a roadblock. I am unsure where to continue with this I feel like I have written enough and not sure where to go from here story wise, that is why I decided to discontinue the story. Thank you everyone who commented and liked I enjoyed seeing your guys reactions. For now this is the last chapter. If I ever decide to continue this or make a new series I look forward to seeing you guys there!
-TW: cult au, yandere, impostor au, mentions of being hunted down, mentions of trauma, self harm (nothing major), OOC character
-Gn reader and darling (please tell me if I mess this up message me and I will fix it)
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, this is part 6
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The beat of their heart was as loud as a drum. Reader could even feel their head vibrate in tandem with the marching drums they had heard before when they were younger. Their vision felt blurry and their head was light. The fading sun outside the windows caught their eye. Reader felt nauseous.
They were such a coward they had left Nahida and Wanderer to clean up after them as they ran away. Reader wanted to help her not add more trouble yet here they were weak and unable to speak.
Distantly they heard a gasp.
"Reader! Are you okay? Oh no- Traveller come quick!"
Two blurry figures came closer to Reader. They idly noted one of the figures was floating. . . Ohh, it was Paimon and Aether.
Seeing the two somehow calmed them down and they tried to take deep breaths. With a calmer and clearer mind, they noticed that both stared at Reader with worried expressions.
Reader gave a wry smile.
"Hi Paimon, hi Traveller."
The two said nothing staring at Reader and then at each other coming to an agreement of some sort.
"Paimon thinks you should sit down first," she said, trailing off and looking down.
Reader also noticed Aether was looking down as well to the side, it was then it dawned on Reader they were looking at their sliced palm. They subconsciously tried to hide it but stopped midway bringing it forward towards the duo.
"I guess you two were also summoned but were late haha," they said with a flat laugh.
Traveler continued to look at them with a worried frown and Paimon who usually had a positive expression looked even more worried. Reader's wry smile seemed not to work sadly.
"P-Paimon is still not sure what is going on but Paimon thinks you should sit down first. . ."
"I agree let's get you somewhere to rest first."
Aether reached his hand out as an invite and Reader felt too weak to reject him. He took their hand and guided them further down the hall towards a seating area where guests could sit. There Reader was able to sit down and calm down.
"Thanks, I do feel better."
Aether smiled and nodded while Paimon's eyes sifted from looking at them and then at a wall.
"Uhm- so Paimon has been wondering. . ."
It was obvious what she was referring to. They held the sliced palm with the other hand almost cradling it.
"Sorry, I did not mean to keep it from you guys. . . I just found out recently as well, I-I hope you are not mad."
"What! Why would we be mad? You are the creator- Oh no should we bow?" Paimon said looking at Reader then around as if someone would pop up and admonish her.
Traveler shook his head at his companion's antics and gave Reader a sad smile.
"I hope you can forgive out-"
"Oh no stop there!"
Reader jumped out quickly from their seat causing the duo to step back (the other to float back) in shock. Reader stepped forward and looked at them with a serious expression.
"I don't care if I am some creator or whatever and I don't care about that formal shit, especially when you two are my friends!"
Reader was not sure where this outburst came from. Was it because of the stressful day? Was it having to see people you did not like or was it because of having to watch Wanderer act subservient for so long?
"So no your grace or bowing!"
The two still looked aback. Suddenly Reader felt embarrassed shouting at them when they were concerned about her.
"W-well uhm, sorry, yeah I should not have shouted. . ."
Reader wrung their hands together but stopped when they noticed the sliced palm. They looked down at their shoes.
"Paimon. . . Paimon thinks of you as a friend too," she said and her cheeks turned red.
Reader smiled at her and Traveller sighed but gave the floating girl a smile.
"If that is what you wish for then who are we to say no?"
He sounded a tad bit too formal for Reader but it would have to do for now.
"None of that now, how have the two of you been?"
Paimon opened her mouth about to answer Reader's question but she was interrupted unexpectedly.
"Your Grace-"
Reader's heart skipped a beat and not the good kind. The calm they experienced before was gone and their body froze again. The one who spoke was unmistakably the retired geo Archon. He looked frazzled and looked at Reader in a way they could not decipher.
"Your grace I. . ."
"That is enough I had already told you they were not ready to talk to you yet."
Nahida came afterward it looks like she rushed over to where they were. Her face was stern and it looked so out of place compared to her more relaxed and curious features. Reader's stomach clenched. Zhongli looked as if he wanted to argue with her. His face took on a harsher stance as he looked at her.
No.
They would not let him.
"Whatever it is you want to say it's with me leave her out of this."
Their hands were shaking but they held them together. Nahida looked surprised at them and Reader wanted to reassure her it was going to be alright. Aether from his side approached them and stood between the Archon and Reader. The implication that he was willing to defend them from one of the strongest beings in Teyvat was not lost on Reader. They did feel safer by having him on their side and Paimon as well.
"Your grace I," Zhongli paused his gaze on Reader with a guilty look that made them feel uncomfortable, "If I had known if only. . ."
"That does not matter anymore," Reader interrupted him.
He looked at them and flinched.
"Save your what 'ifs’, you did what you did and I won't forget it."
The unexpected venom that came out of Reader surprised even them. Zhongli had taken to look down he looked ashamed, how dare he? Now he wants to act all guilty. Reader scoffed.
"You have done enough damage for today, I suggest you leave neither me or the Dendro Archon are in a mood to deal with you," Reader said and crossed their arms.
They idly wondered if the meeting had gone awry for her to come here. Nahida looked thoroughly surprised.
Zhongli opened his mouth to speak but Reader beat him to it.
"That is all I have nothing more to say."
"I think I will take it over here with Mr. Zhongli and the rest."
They nodded at Nahida. Reader tugged at Aether's scarf for him to follow them.
.
.
.
They entered Reader's new room and their muscles went lax. It felt though as if they had carried a heavy boulder. They threw decorum away and sat on their desk stool.
"Sorry, I think I need a bit of rest."
"It's okay Paimon doesn't think anyone would handle talking to a guy that tried to kill as well as you did."
Aether glared at Paimon and she jumped up in the air while still floating.
"Maybe Paimon should not have said that. . ."
Reader looked at her and shook their head with a smile.
"It's okay, you sort of reminded me I did something pretty cool huh?"
Paimon's expression eased and she nodded.
"While Zhongli is our friend what he did to you was unforgivable so Paimon thinks he ought to get kicked around for what he did."
"Heh, it seems like you can speak some sense from time to time."
It was Wanderer who had entered when the door was still unopened. Paimon did look angry at his remark.
"You! What do you mean Paimon always says things that make sense!"
"Yeah sure," he said with a mocking smile and crossed his arms.
"You came early did something happen?" Reader spoke.
Wanderer uncrossed his arms and shook his head.
"No Lesser Lord Kusanali came back with the funeral consultant and told me to look out for you."
Ohh, Reader's heart melted a bit. They really had a good friend, next time they should make her something as thanks.
"Paimon has a question are you planning to announce it to everyone that you are the creator?"
Aether looked at Reader more intently as well. It seemed he was interested in the topic.
"No, I rather not, we decided to let the acolytes know for now their words hold some sway if they could calm the public down after the 'fake' left."
Aether had a thoughtful expression and nodded at Reader's answer. Perhaps he guessed Reader was not in the mood to talk about this particular topic and left it a that. Reader was once again thankful for their friend's thoughtfulness.
"Sorry for all the drama today take a seat what have you two been up to?"
Aether smiled and sat down while Wanderer ever the polite one bought fruits and left to get some tea. The Traveler and his companion told them of the many new adventures they had and the people they met. After Wanderer came back with the tea all of them sat down and listened as Paimon did a dramatic retelling of a recent commission they took on.
"I see everyone is having a fun time."
"Nahida!" Reader went out of their seat to check on the Archon.
"I hope there was not too much trouble are all right? Did something happen?"
"No worries I am fine and nothing happened it took a while to convince some to leave, there were acolytes who wanted to meet you."
Reader grimaced.
"Yeah sorry, next time I won't run away like that."
Nahida shook her head.
"No, it is part of my duty, there is no need for you to do it if you don't feel like it."
"You shouldn't have to shoulder this," Reader argued.
"Lesser Lord Kusanali is right if you are not ready it might do more damage to your health," Wandered interjected.
At that Reader could only be silent. They felt so helpless.
"For now let Nahida handle it you can be there and see how much you can handle," Wanderer said after sighing.
Reader wrung their hands together and looked at Nahida with a guilty look.
"If it's okay with you could I?"
"Only if you think you can handle it."
For now that would be their solution.
Reader ushered Nahida to take a seat and poured her some tea. Paimon took it upon herself to start over her tale once again since Nahida was there and the Wanderer scoffed at her which caused them to bicker for a few seconds. Reader could only laugh behind their hand. The rest of the day was spent comfortably talking.
"It is getting late Paimon doesn't want to intrude any longer."
The Traveller nodded as well.
"Wait you both could stay in my room?"
Traveller and Paimon looked surprised.
"We don't want to interrupt your resting time there is also only one bed."
"The bed is big enough for all of us we can have a sleepover?"
Reader wrung their hands together. It was just, they did not want to sleep alone today.
Traveller and Paimon looked at each other they must have had a silent conversation.
"If you are okay with it Reader."
"Yeah it would be nice I haven't had a sleepover in a long while Nahida and Wanderer you could join in if you want to." They said with a smile.
"I've never had one before but I would love to try it out."
Wanderer was silent for a while before he quietly answered.
"I will join then. . ."
Reader smiled it almost hurt their face. They gathered a lot of pillows and extra blankets just in case. Reader took the middle while Nahida was to the right and Paimon to the left. Respectievly Aether took Paimon's side and Wanderer slept next to Nahida. It really did feel like a huge sleepover. Reader slept soundly that night sourrended in warmth.
Extra:
Reader felt warm and fuzzy images of Christmas lights surrounding their vision. the lights were blurry and smudged. Gentle snow started to fall blanketing the ground in white. The blanket that surrounded them kept them warm and they snuggled closer to it.
The stars above twinkled and They watched with interest as they changed shape and colour. Then a star started to fall, no it was a snowflake. A huge giant snowflake was falling towards Reader and they tried to struggle but it was in vain as the blanket held them in place. With horror they watched as the snowflake landed on their head.
It was rather soft and it did not hurt but the snowflake was beginning to limit their breathing. Reader tried to open their mouth to breathe in more air.
With a gasp, they woke up.
The thing smothering their face was not a snowflake or anything nefarious but rather Paimon herself. Somehow she had ended up on their face. They struggled to shake her off and after a few seconds of prying she rolled off to the side.
She was still asleep her mouth open and she mumbled something about food no doubt.
Reader sighed.
They blinked a few times as they looked out to the window where the sun was shining. It was already morning.
Reader was rather in a bind, literally. Nahida had curled up in her chest, she looked so small and cute Reader’s heart melted and they wanted to pat her head. Their feet somehow got tangled up with Wanderer’s and to the side Aether was hugging their arm.
They could not get up.
”If I was in a different room I would still be able to hear your squirms.”
It was wanderer who woke up. His voice was hoarse. Now that they thought about it Reader had no idea if he could sleep or if he even needed to.
”Sorry,” they said whispering.
Wanderer sighed and came closer towards Reader shutting his eyes.
Wait, was he not going to get up at all?
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#genshin impact#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware au#self aware genshin#cult au#yandere#imposter au#sort of not really an imposter au#mentions of trauma#self harm (nothing major)#wanderer genshin#wanderer#nahida#sleepover episode#sorry for OOC zhongli here#aether#paimon#thank you everyone who has supported this story so far#it has been really fun to write and read the comments#i have nothing more to say have a good day!
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