#wow i went on a ramble here

[painsandconfusion]

https://www.tumblr.com/painsandconfusion/734094977631698944/i-understand-ethans-mistrust-of-people-if-it

Currently crying in the bathroom because some woman yelled at me because *checks notes* I couldn't do a return on a half eaten sandwich that she just didn't like and had no receipt for.

I'm also suffering chronic anxiety.

If Ethan thinks I'm scary, he's the first.

Ethan will beat her up for you

[luck-of-the-drawings]

POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.

[rrylies]

altan isn't a violent person at his core it was just what other people have always seen him as because he's speerly, and for some reason the speerlies have a savage connotation when we have no proof that they were actually animals in the sense that other people keep describing them as. im sure that we only get the savage speerly stereotype because as a people, they were fundamentally different from the nikara and the mugenese. and since they were all (mostly) dead at the start of book one, who was going to negate all of these stereotypes? no one. (i could go on about how altan was slapped with the "last speerly" moniker when in reality he probably remembers very little about his culture and what speer was like before all of the war and the death but that's for another time <3)

even back in his days of sinegard altan isnt depicted as a particularly violent person, though he's placed in violent events. like in the fighting pits at night altan is pitted up against his peers who want to fight him at a chance at victory, to prove that they've won a battle against the last speerly and we have no idea if altan actually wants to fight them or if he's forced to (iirc it's highly suggested that irjah baits him into fighting by promising him opium if he wins, and he will, because he always does) (although that could've just been nezha being a dick) and even though altan shows no signs of violence or aggression (he's always depicted as calm, stoic, etc) he's always painted as something less than human, an animal simply because ??? he wins their fights? as if that's not something he's expected to do in the first place. ("how did he do that? isn't he human?" "he isn't, he's speerly" this quote. ARGHARAGH RABAN ILY BUT SHUT UPPP)

and back to the stereotypes of speerlies and why they're painted as rabid animals even though there's no proof that they are. the main thing i can think of rn is how the federation (+ the mugenese) think of them simultaneously as something divine and to be studied but also as these rabid beasts at the same time. like the federation soldiers are clearly afraid of fire / the speerlies (i have a separate hc that their culture has something to do with this but that is also for another time <3) shiro mentions how precious and important the speerlies are (and yet his people bombed altan's? ://) while taking every opportunity he can to pick altan apart. then people wonder why altan's vicious towards the federation and hates them with every fiber of his being and why he has so much pent-up anger within him and it's like, hello?? they took him captive when he was a child, and sent him to the laboratory with shiro where he would spend half of his life being cut open and dissected, injected with opium time and time again, forced to watch his people die off one by one without the knowledge that he was the last until after he'd been rescued. (this still gets me btw no im not in tears) and then even when he's out, his suffering isn't over, (it's never over lets be real) because he's shipped off to sinegard academy where he'll be surrounded by so many different conflicting stereotypes (the nikara think he's an animal because he's speerly but shiro thought he was amazing because he was speerly, because of his connection to the phoenix) and really, he's not violent, not at his core, but i cant imagine the inner turmoil altan went through his first few years out of the lab + his first year at sinegard where he was the only one who was different (and also fighting an opium addiction at the same time and people belittle him over this when it literally wasn't his fault)

like altan was not violent. he was calm and he had his moments of peace, but ultimately because of everything that had happened to him (cough. shiro u motherfucker), the violence was forced out of him and became all he knew ("chaghan said they trained you like a dog at the academy" ://) and he literally didn't know any better, he was failed by every single person who should have helped him. (never getting over this btw)

yin riga, a man who he trusted, sent him away to shiro. (will never not think of how much little five year old altan trusted riga and then. well.) jiang, who was supposed to help him with his connection to the phoenix, shunned him. irjah, who was his supposed caretaker, who only fed his opium addiction in order to control him, just like how shiro did, just like how the nikara did to the speerlies (parallels. yaaay.)

in the end altan trengsin wasn't a violent person, but it was all anyone wanted to see. it was all anyone would remember him by.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ccan you share any facts about the lights out au :3

i can try!

one thing i'm trying to incorporate that they get a Lot more puppety once the lights go out - their expressions can no longer change! Frank's frown is fixed! i've been holding off on this a bit since trying to imagine like... Barnaby getting mad but it's just this fuckin blank muppet face kills me but. hey what if they all had eyebrows that were built to move- also it's Important to the "Plot". and if i need expressions to show emotion, i'm failing as a writer

Wally gets a skin cardigan

as time goes on the Goop™️ kinda gets a mind of its own. it finds spare puppets - or puppet parts - to use as a shell. mix'n'match, horror style!

my original design for butterfly Howdy was made for this au. do with that what you will

over the years, Wally reads a lot of books - they teach him quite a few things that he would have never known about otherwise, even if he can't fully understand half of what he reads. how does one know what whisky is - beyond a drink - if they don't know about alcohol is?

Wally makes "friends" with some critters that start living in the studio. though he thinks there's one rat - he doesn't know to call it that - and like... one roach - he also doesn't know to call it that. so he thinks the same few strange creatures are around, when in reality it's a bunch. they keep getting consumed by the Goop

Poppy sets up the post office to be more liveable / pleasant. both for a sense of normalcy and it's just something to do! she makes it nice and homey <3 to the best of her ability <3 she can't really see what she's doing <3

[vampswritings]

super annoying that for your story to exist you have to write it

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

will you shut the fuck up? what if the shit doesn't hit the fan? what if we do make it? what if you don't die? can you have a little hope? just have a little hope

[cuteniaarts]

@katkastrofa, circa 40-ish hours ago: Hey, what if our newest bunch of OCs adopted a baby from one of the other brothel girls who knew she couldn’t afford to raise one? That would make for some fun shenanigans :D

Me, with a notoriously non existent sleep schedule, instinct of self preservation or concern for my poor wrist: Alright, bet. Watch how fast I can make you fall in love with this hypothetical baby >:)

Daneli as a gentle and loving caretaker-turned-adoptive-mother is something that can be So Personal, actually, and originally I was going to leave it at this quick sketch, but then I got carried away thinking about what this child will grow up to be like raised by this little gang of misfits, so…

Here she is!! A little older and so, so beautiful, I need more of her in my life immediately, she’s way too precious

And, because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also add a sapphic element to this absolute cinnamon roll, a small crack ship that I’m only half serious about for when she’s a little older still:

All in all, we may be getting impossibly far from canon, but I for one already cannot get enough of sweet darling Kumisai <3

(I fully drew three pieces from scratch in 9 hours I cannot feel my brain or my hands anymore send help)

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn

omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?

[averlym]

whshdfhfjf.,,,

[enhanced-operatives-division]

One day I'll draw the ieytd cast with all the flower imagery i want

[cryptids-lobelia-garden]

ALRIGHTY here’s day 2! A day late bc my WiFi was absolute Garbage yesterday- it’s fixed now!

Warnings: Drugged whumpee? Sort of? (Hospital pain meds), conditioned whumpee, he is in the hospital, also he’s like. Kinda delirious I think? Idk the meds are messing with his head, also he’s Not Happy about the fact he’s on them, people being suspicious of Caretaker because of scars (whumpee sets the facts straight before anything happens though)

Day 2: Sweat Brain Fog

The Meeting Arc Part 2

~~~~~

It’s too bright.

Volo squeezes his eyes back shut the moment they open with a quiet groan.

The world feels.. weird. He feels weird.

Almost dizzy..?

Thinking feels weird too.. fuzzy..

Yeah. Fuzzy’s a good way to describe how he feels right now. And tired.

So, so very tired..

He wakes up again, squinting against the light.

Oh, I’m somewhere unfamiliar..

Where are my..

Where. Where are they. Where are my Pokémon.

He moves to try to sit up.

Oh, his head’s spinning.

His whole body feels.. heavy.. exhausted..

So exhausted..

Pokémon. Right, he needs to find his Pokémon-

There’s a tube in his arm?

Hospital?

Why am I.. What hospital am I in..

He clumsily pokes at his watch, squinting at the screen, trying to see the time, date, and location.

It’s so blurry..

Okay. Giving up on that.

“Hello?” He calls out. “Hello? Is anyone there?”

Someone pokes his head in. A nurse, probably? “Oh, you’re awake!” The nurse hurries over, gently pushing him back to the bed. “Here, lay back down.”

Each word makes his head swim. He’s tired, everything is fuzzy, and it takes him a minute to figure out what the guy said. “Mmkay.. where are my Pokémon..?”

The nurse frowns. “..There’s a guy in the lobby. He might know, but before we let you talk to him, we have some questions to ask.”

All Volo got out of that was someone’s in the lobby. Something about questions. “..who..?”

“His name is Cheri Jennings.”

Volo lets out a sigh of relief.

Okay. Cheri has his Pokémon. He doesn’t know Cheri very well, but Cheri saved him, right? And whatever Cheri wants with him, he trusts that they’ll be taken care of, for now, at least- if Cheri’s trying to gain his trust, anyway.

They’re okay..

So exhausted..

His eyes slip closed again.

Time passes for him like the blink of an eye, and when he wakes up again, someone else is in the room, checking machines by his bed. She looks over as he moves.

“Hello. Can you understand me?”

“Um..” Volo nods.

He’s a little more awake now. Everything still feels so fuzzy, though. He’s also tired, exhaustion running bone-deep, and he makes no move to get up this time. “..Where am I?”

“Okay.” The lady takes a deep breath. “..You’re in the Eterna City Hospital. You were brought here by Cheri Jennings. He said the two of you were attacked by a strange man with powerful Pokémon, is that right?”

Volo thinks for a moment. Remembering takes so much energy- but he does. “Mmh.. Yes, that’s what happened. We were.. we were fighting someone horrible, and..” He shakes his head. “..I.. got hurt..? And I remember him carrying me..” He shakes his head. “He had ice on his arm, is he okay?”

“He’s okay. ..I have another question.”

Volo nods.

“Was he the one who made the.. well.” The nurse shifts uncomfortably.

Oh. “You saw those..?” Ignoring the sick feeling in his stomach, Volo shakes his head. “N.. no, he didn’t make those.. is he here right now..?”

The nurse nods. “Yes, he’s in the lobby. ..who-”

“It doesn’t matter, but, um.. It wasn’t him, can.. Can you let him in here..? Please?”

The nurse thinks for a moment, then sighs, nodding. “I’ll bring him in.”

Volo nods, eyes slipping closed.

When they open again, Cheri’s asleep by his bed, though Cheri quickly wakes up when Volo moves.

“Hey,” he says, taking Volo’s hands in his.

Volo flinches. He can’t help it, yanking himself away from contact as if another person’s sudden touch is a hot coal.

Most people avoid touching him, pull away quickly once he flinches. But Cheri keeps his hands open.

And Volo reaches forward, letting Cheri hold his hands.

It’s been so, so long since he’s felt a comforting touch.

“..you saved my life,” he murmurs. “..why? What do you have to gain, by having this power over me?”

“What power?” Cheri shakes his head. “What are you talking about??”

“You saved my life,” Volo repeats. “So it now belongs to you.”

“..that’s.. Kinda a fucked way of thinking about it, don’t you think?” Cheri shakes his head, looking away. “Think about it as me repaying an old favor. My siblings and I would’ve been left with next to nothing if you hadn’t helped us when we were banished, you know?”

“..hm.” Volo nods, lightly squeezing Cheri’s hands. “I guess that makes sense. ..still.. Why save me? I don’t deserve it after the rift.” He shakes his head. “I hurt you, didn’t I? Are you trying to hurt me back?”

Cheri blinks a few times. “No? Why would I want that? Look, I know you’ve had it rough for a while, but I can promise you I don’t want to hurt you.” Cheri’s tongue glows as he makes the promise, and then magic wraps around the two of them.

Locking the promise in..?

..Volo looks away.

Then.. it’s true, he really DOESN’T want to hurt me.

“..why..?” Volo asks again. “I’m.. worthless now. There’s nobody left I can save, nothing else I can do to control the damage. I’ve apologized to almost everyone I can, I’ve hurt, I’ve bled, I’ve cried and I’ve broken over it, and now I’m worth nothing.” He lets his eyes slip closed, starting to feel uncomfortable with how much he’s shared, but it’s already out there, he might as well finish the thought. “There’s nothing more I can do but suffer. And I am so tired of suffering for it all. That’s selfish, I know, I don’t deserve death’s release, but I’m tired.”

Oooohhh no. Cheri’s mouth hangs open for a moment. “Volo.. what.. the hell are you talking about?”

Volo shakes his head, pulling Cheri’s hands to his face so he can hide behind them. After a moment, one of Cheri’s hands let go.

Volo’s disappointment is short lived, because Cheri’s hand is in his hair next, gently brushing his bangs back over his left eye.

Oh, right, that exists. He hadn’t even noticed it wasn’t covered. His skin feels.. odd, not very sensitive..

“..hey.. Volo? ..What are you talking about?”

Cheri’s voice is so soft. So gentle, so full of worry, of concern..

Tears start to slip down Volo’s face. “I- I can’t.”

Cheri frowns. “..Is this about Eclipse? What.. what did he do..?”

“..He hurt me,” Volo whispers, hiding behind his hands. “Very badly.”

And he was kind at first too. Held me, took care of me, and I thought he was the one person in the world who hadn’t just wanted to use me.

What a foolish thought.

..he was kind at first, just like this. He said he would protect me, and he did. Nobody else could hurt me but him- this situation feels all too familiar.

But where Eclipse had no right to do what he did..

I DID hurt Cheri and his family.

“..you can too, if that’s what you kept me alive for,” he murmurs. “You must want to, it’s the only thing that makes sense.. You were hurt by me, and now you want your turn to give me my just desserts for it.”

“…Volo… What the fuck.”

Volo peeks between his fingers after a moment- oh. Cheri looks.. genuinely horrified at that idea. “..you.. really don’t want to hurt me? Not at all?”

“Why in the ever-loving fuck would I-” Cheri pulls his hands away, taking a deep breath. Volo flinches, hiding behind his hands again.

When he looks again, Cheri’s just.. staring. There’s a lot of emotions on his face, most of all a deep sadness.

“..He really, really hurt you,” Cheri murmurs.

Volo looks away. “..I know,” he says, trying to laugh even though it isn’t funny-

He’s crying. Why is he crying?

Cheri sighs, moving closer and opening his arms.

Volo hesitates.

If I trust, I’ll only get hurt. This’ll only hurt me in the end.

But after a few moments, Volo moves to Cheri anyway, careful of the medical equipment and pushing through the spots in his vision from sitting up. He’s cautious, slow.

Cheri’s arms wrap around him, and he feels so safe, so protected, and oh, this is worth whatever pain it’ll bring him later. Hiding his face in Cheri’s chest, Volo starts to shake with silent sobs.

“He..” Cheri sighs. “He’ll never hurt you again. Okay? You’re not gonna be hurt again, not by me or anyone else. Not if I have anything to say about it,” Cheri murmurs. “I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere, you’re okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

“I- I don’t de-eserve to be okay,” Volo sobs out. “I should be hurting. Why aren’t I hurting? I’m-” He pulls back, pulling at his hospital gown, seeing the bandages.

His skin feels weird, and dread starts to pool in his stomach. “I’m.. I’m hurt, why don’t I feel it, why don’t I-”

“Drugs.” Cheri doesn’t move to hold him again, though he keeps his arms open.

Oh. Oh, that explains the.. Everything.. Volo takes a moment to calm himself down.

“Hey..” Cheri moves to tap his shoulder, then thinks better of it, pulling back and making his voice slightly louder. “Hey.” After a few moments, Volo looks up again. “..What if I think you deserve to be okay?”

Volo thinks for a moment. “..You’re wrong.” He’s too tired to think of why.

Cheri shakes his head, opening his mouth to say something else, but then a nurse comes in.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be moving around so much!” Getting Volo to lay back down, the nurse looks over at Cheri. “Why didn’t you tell him to stop?”

Cheri grimaces, pushing back the immediate urge to defend himself. I’m fine, she’s not attacking me. “I didn’t know he couldn’t move. I’m just a visitor.”

“Right. Sorry.” The nurse checks a few things. “Make sure he doesn’t do that again, there’s a few reasons he shouldn’t be moving right now. We’ve tracked the attack back to a very powerful Pokémon, and honestly, he shouldn’t even be awake right now, let alone moving- he’s very lucky, he must’ve been hit with a weaker version of the attack than usual.”

Oh! That’s good news! Cheri nods. “I’ll make sure he holds still.”

“Thank you.” Finishing with her checks, she turns to hurry off. Cheri watches as she leaves, then turns back to Volo, eyes softening as he does. “..So.. Can I get you anything, or..?”

I feel so helpless here.. “..My Pokémon,” Volo murmurs. “Let them out.”

“They’re at the Pokémon center, I don’t have them right now. ..Sorry.” Speaking of which, I need to go pick them up soon..

“Oh..” Well, that’s disappointing, but. At least he knows they’re okay and somewhere safe. He ignores the part of him that screams it’s a lie, the part of him that screams he needs to leave, to go find them.

It’ll only hurt me to trust.

Volo stares at the wall for a few moments.

..He ignores that side of his mind despite his better judgement, reaching for Cheri again. Desperate for a kind touch he hadn’t felt in years.

Cheri scoots closer to Volo, gently resting his hand across Volo’s chest- away from the injury, of course. Volo’s body twitches with an involuntary flinch, but he hums, wrapping his arms around Cheri’s.

Cheri studies Volo’s face for a moment, his yellow eyes staring into Volo’s soul, a look Volo’s quickly become familiar with in the time they’ve spent together. “..Do you cuddle them to sleep, or..?”

Volo nods. “..I.. don’t know if I’ve slept alone a day in my life. I’ve always had.. um.. At least an egg, Toge as an egg..” He shakes his head, humming quietly as Cheri moves a little closer. “..thank you,” he murmurs.

“Don’t mention it.” Cheri rests his chin on the side of the bed, still watching Volo.

Under Cheri’s protective gaze, Volo lets himself relax. “..tell them to.. um.. lower the pain meds.. I hate feeling like this,” Volo mumbles.

“It’s gonna hurt like a bitch,” Cheri warns.

“Please. Please. I.. um..” Volo’s eyelids are heavy, but he opens his eyes anyway, staring at Cheri with a pleading look. “I have to be able to, to think. Please.”

Cheri stares back for a moment, then sighs, eyes softening as he nods. “I’ll.. see what I can do.”

Volo nods, eyes slipping closed again as he breathes a quiet sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he mumbles, relaxing into Cheri’s touch.

“Of course,” Cheri murmurs. “..Get some sleep. You need it.”

Volo nods, and Cheri watches as, slowly, his breathing evens out.

It isn’t long before Cheri’s asleep too.

[caressthosecheekbones]

met a guy tonight with the most best interior design taste, tall, blond curls, gorgeous eyes and hands. and single. and nothing came of it.

[mostlykind]

I went to an engagement party on Saturday for someone I don’t really know and for some reason I was overwhelmed with the urge to cry the entire time I was there. even though I was glad I went and had a good time. I was literally fighting tears the whole night. it was not funny at the time but in hindsight… literally what the hell was my brain going through

[dbphantom]

i was gonna redraw the iconic s1 e4 intro bit because it fits Usopp and Luffy really well but i realized that meant i was going to have to draw mini merry at least 5 more times in full and went "haha nope" so here she is with luffy's hat on instead. i think she likes it ✨

(luffy answers every single phone call with that, sanji's just letting them know lunch is ready)

[poisonhemloc]

it’s june

there was snow on the ground up in the woods and we had a thunderstorm roll in

and the river was. so high. Like, it was high last year, when we opened a month earlier than we usually do, because there wasnt a ton of snow blocking us from getting up there. And this year. Two months later than last year. Almost the same amount of snow still on the ground and there’s four downed trees in the river front of dad’s cabin and the river’s so high we thought the stone cabin already put the boards back in the dam to raise the water and just

...it’s nice since. multi-year drought but. this is not normal

[lily-blue-blue-lily]

everyone on here freaking out about whatever is gonna happen in the new 9-1-1 episode tonight and im just over here watching s1 for the first time and having mild breakdown about it