#wow I wrote a novel
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Your Majesty, what has you so fixated on Sivel? Sure, he has a whole country but so do several others that have visited your Court. And yet none seem to have you so on edge more than him. Do you see him as a threat or are you just finding something else to worry about instead?
@thewolfisawake // mentioning @soulsxng || Ask my Muse about their relationships with other Muses!
"What other royal is there that is both involved with one of my gentry and that I have a less than ideal relationship with?" He would not deny his own contributions towards the latter, but ever since Iomhar had first asked him to trick Sivel during the entire fiasco involving the whipping it felt as if things had been set on a constant, inevitable downward spiral between them.
"I do see him as a threat, though I wish that possibility could be dismissed entirely and this whole thing done with," Camhlaidh admitted. He did not want to feel as if he needed to keep looking over his shoulder regarding Sivel. Right now, the only assurances that he had regarding their tenuous relationship was that he was fairly certain the other king would make no moves against Seelie first, while he remained Iomhar's lover, and second, if there was no gain to him nor threat to his people.
It was a hand he had relied too heavily on, Iomhar's relationship with him especially, but what else was he to do?
#thewolfisawake#soulsxng#{Aur Answers#actually he also considers Steph's Violetta a big concern too!#mainly because she /does/ seem like the type to try and attack and annex Seelie#just for shits and giggles too 😭#Aur has his frustrations and frustrated moments with Sivel but he really did want to have a positive relationship with him#for the sake of both their lands if nothing else#but he acknowledges that the chance of that is likely loooong gone now#he overall feels very...yeah just frustrated and aggrieved and overall bad as a king that he couldn't manage it#but at the same time he doesn't know what else he could have done when he learned that Sivel had sort of been a threat to other lands#recently?#overall a very complicated situation to him#doesn't help that he isn't really chatting with his advisor to get advice about Sivel either 😂#mainly because he knows the man doesn't like him#basically...Aur just feels pretty alone and on his own?#he doesn't feel that he has much anyone he fully trusts that he can get thoughts from#since he still can't trust anyone in his court because of the assassin stuff#wow I wrote a novel
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˗ˏˋ frederick beaumont , the writer begins the first of a series of love letters to the recipient. ˎˊ˗
she shouldn't. not for lack of materials, nor any shortage of time. what keeps prudence from putting quill to paper is the notion that she should not be in love with her best friend. the man who was to marry another woman, someone he had called upon and courted and proposed engagement with. pru had her chance, had she not? there had even been a circulating rumor amongst the ton about her and frederick, though of course, nothing had ever come from it. prudence had made such a fuss about marrying the perfect man for such a long time, that she had never stopped to consider that man had been standing by her side since they were young. and now, he was bonded to another. soon to be permanently, legally. and then there will be nothing she could do. part of her wanted to try. perhaps late, but if she did not tell fred her feelings, pru was afraid she may regret it forever.
shaking off the excess ink that drips form her quill, prudence bites at her thumbnail in an anxious way. what are you so afraid of? she asks herself. if he is to reject you, he will throw the letter away and forget it was ever sent. prudence knew frederick allowed for as little embarrassment as possible. of course, she could also ruin the friendship they've kept for a decade. glancing down at the paper, prudence decides, in a moment of bravery, to risk it all. the first letter reads as such:
fred, i hope this letter finds you well, just as i've always hoped most things found you well. i am aware, as everyone else in the ton, that you have asked miss grace st. maur for her hand. it has always been my impression that i wanted what is best for you, that i've wanted to see you have every happiness, just as you deserve. i had not, however, considered that i wanted to experience these fortunes with you. it seems, my dear friend, that my love for you stretches beyond what i first considered platonic, and has quickly taken a turn into something much more than. a quite inopportune time, i will admit. and though your engagement has been the deciding factor in my confession, i cannot deny how often i think of you. how often i have been lost while looking into your eyes, or staring at your smile when it is given just to me, or mesmerizing at your laugh and your witty humor. as long as i have put off understanding how i feel, i can deny it no longer. i love you. too much to allow you to marry someone else. too much to see you love another. if you do not feel the same, please burn this letter. but if you do... what say you? yours truly, pru.
prudence is brave enough to go as far as to address the outside of the letter before she sets it aside. she cannot send it. surly, she was not of the right mind. the letter sits upon her desk for days. the wedding between frederick and grace is a beautiful display of matrimony, and prudence holds the letter within her hands as she cries into her pillow. as time passes, she adds other letters to the stack that would never be sent, now that frederick was a married man. more confessions of love, how much she missed him and their days together, what opportunities were lost between them. one note simply reads i love you, i love you, i love you, over and over in swirling cursive. they remain in a drawer, never to be seen by frederick's eyes. eventually, it gets easier for prudence to hide them away, forgetting about them instead of reading them over, debating whether or not to send them.
they had missed their chance. frederick deserved a happy marriage. whatever happened to pru, now, was none of his concern. @frightes.
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it's november, which means that both flufftober and 911 kinktober are officially over! i've had such a wonderful time combining the challenges this past month. 15 fluffy fics, 16 kinky ones, and 91k words later, i've officially completed my challenge!
i just wanted to say the absolute biggest thank you to everyone who's been reading these fics, especially those kind enough to leave a comment or reblog them. it's been so so wonderful to see your responses and i'm so grateful for the support! many thanks also to those who pointed out that certain links didn't work etc because i really wouldn't be me if everything went smoothly lmao. and, of course, the biggest thank you to those involved in organising the events! find the flufftober collection and the 911 kinktober collections linked - i highly recommend checking out some of the other lovely fics!
i'll be reblogging the fics again throughout november. if you'd like to have a look in the meantime, the links below will take you to the ao3 fic series for both halves of my challenge!
buddie flufftober 2024 (15 works)
my personal favourites are day 10, game (it's all fun and games (and family)), and day 17, only one bed (from your heart to your fingertips)!
buddie kinktober 2024 (16 works)
my personal favourites are day 4, non-sexual kink (to be still), and day 27, non-penetrative sex (i'll show you mine (will you show me yours?))!
though my posting schedule is going to slow down drastically compared to this (i'm aiming for weekly fic drops from now on), i definitely am planning on continuing to write so much more 911 fic! if there's a kink/fluff/whumptober prompt i've missed that you want me to write, feel free to throw it in my inbox. i'm always happy to try my hand at prompts! in addition, there's a couple other fun things in the works - how about that sleeping beauty au i won't shut up about? who knows, maybe i'll finally finish it...
so yeah, thanks so much for everything - now excuse me while i go give my poor fingers a rest from all this typing!
#i have genuinely never had this much fun in fandom before#to many more challenges!#buddie#911 kinktober#flufftober2024#michelle does kinktober#michelle does flufftober#michelle writes#911 fic#gonna use#fluff/kinktober reblogs#throughout the month if anyone wants to filter it :)#still can't believe i wrote 91k in a month#like that's a fucking novel#wow#nice job me lmao
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I wanna get more into Digimon again.
What actually is the best Digimon media out there though??
I've watched the first three seasons of the anime and I love those, and I've been meaning to watch Tri forever. I'm currently playing Digimon World Next Order, and Cyber Sleuth is next. But like... what then?
#rubabble#digimon#I wanna draw a self-insert tamer as well#with my own designed Digimon#edit: wow people wrote me some novels! Thanks all!
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#got to the end of my novel rewrite. the end!!! i actually wrote an ending#wow holy shit#this summer is for polishing the whole thing. im gonna make this thing so fucking beautiful#i am on a roll atm and i know i can do this story justice if i keep channeling this energy#96K#i need to add descriptions in a bunch of places and make some actions prettier than they are now#and then i'll be over the moon#my posts
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Thoughts on why the main relationship in TGCF manages to be full of tropes that are trash-associated but is also deeply compelling:
There are SO MANY nuances of the complicated power dynamics and self-sacrifice in Hualian’s relationship that could’ve been cringily unhealthy at so many points and THEN they just WEREN’T. Not ever. Not once
Every time I revisit this novel, I remain so impressed with MXTX’s capacity for nuance. These two are so gone on each other. Hua Cheng literally worships Xie Lian like a god. They would commit atrocities for each other. There are literally characters in the novel who worry about the sheer, unconditional trust Xie Lian gives to Hua Cheng no matter how many secrets he has. In a lesser writer’s hands, this exact dynamic is unhealthy to the point of atrocity: one becoming an unmoored monster and the other both enabler and victim. The shadow of this dynamic is hinted at in the book 4 flashback but it is specifically not allowed to actually become that. Never do we see even a shade of that relationship slip into the book itself, because that’s not how it really is for these two, not even in the darkest flashback moments.
Many narratives in which this level of devotion is present, it would be accurate to call it blind devotion, which becomes uncomfortable for the sake of the follower and unhealthy for the development of their love interest, but here the devotion is so continuously and unfailingly anchored not in looking the other way (the damaging nature of doing so being one of the core themes of the novel) but is conversely about seeing clearly and understanding fully.
So when Hua Cheng does things like offering to take the plague sword and release the disease on Yong’an himself, it actually has the effect of letting Xie Lian see the effect these choices are having on himself more clearly. It was absolutely necessary that Wu Ming not say “let me do this because you want it done” but instead say “I would do this if you needed me to and you didn’t want to because I independently understand why you want this”, because then, refusing him is a real reflection for Xie Lian on himself. There is self-sacrificing devotion in the relationship, but only for the sake of their actual wellbeing, never just while following a blind desire to do what they say.
Like, Hua Cheng can refuse Xie Lian. That’s a pretty foundational thing that happened. He does refuse him things from the beginning, even in the most basic, relationship-defining things. Xie Lian asked him to forget him after the burning of his temples and he refused, and here we are now. It’s a devotion to each other’s wellbeing, that also manages to be so without either of them assuming they know better than the other what that person needs or wants. The only time Hua Cheng actively sacrifices himself (which Xie Lian definitely wouldn’t want if asked) it’s in pursuit of the goal/outcome that XL wanted/needed to happen.
There manages to be complete devotion to each other, and also deep respect for each other’s choices and judgement, and those things…. often don’t coexist in fiction. Like, Hua Cheng introduced nothing if not agency to Xie Lian’s life. In the grand majority of the side arcs, often the “twist” in the mystery we’re exploring is some variation on “was someone forced to do something? No, they had agency!” And whether what they did with it was bad is also very much up for debate. The backstories and current stories of our protags were often journeys in recognizing that they’re not absolved of personal responsibility for lack of easy options, and show them winning by choosing to wrest back agency instead, even to their own detriment. “Take the third path”, “no paths are bound” etc. are catchphrases of our main character for a reason. Sometimes the best option still ended in tragedy, but it didn’t compromise their integrity. I LOVE “no paths are bound” as a tagline for this book and a catchphrase for Xie Lian, because it ALSO ties the good things about the main relationship into the main themes of the book. Hua Cheng’s goal is not just to be able to protect, which he probably could have done as an ordinary super ghost, but to be powerful enough to put every single possibility on the table for Xie Lian. Hua Cheng needed to be the Most Powerful, because he decided that if Xie Lian wants to do something, Hua Cheng needs to be strong enough to make it happen, needs to make it so that that every option, every path, is always under serious consideration. He literally made it so that any roll of the dice was an equally good outcome (Which is the best rationale for designing an OP character I’ve ever heard in my life). He’s not preventing danger, but instead increasing his agency in the face of it. Essentially “If what you end up choosing is MORE DANGER then I’ll be unhappy about it but I won’t stop you, I will work to make that path walkable too. I’m not here to keep you on a path, I’m here to open and smooth the one you most want to use.”
And, moreover, both people are able to be insanely cool and insanely powerful and be looked up to by the other, because while the power dynamics between them, perceived or real, could’ve been uncomfortable at many points, they WEREN’T. The people involved are on even footing even when they think they’re not. There was never a time when their presence wasn’t good for each other, even before Xie Lian knew to pay attention. Even in Hua Cheng’s very earliest appearances in the book 2 flashbacks, it’s really notable that he had enough effect on Xie Lian and his well-being that he appears multiple times in Xie Lian’s memory of those events, even though he had no idea who he was, or even that all his appearances were the same person.
MXTX really seems to grasp what’s attractive about these protective/super-powerful-boyfriend dynamics in fiction, why they often go badly wrong/make fiction bad rep of healthy relationships, and then SHOWS THEM IN THEIR HEALTHY FUNCTIONAL FORM INSTEAD so we’re free to love what we love about them. At the end of the day, we’re shown the way the best of these things all ideally point to love and concern for the other person as they are, before any considerations of their role in your own life or what they do for you. BUT with the expectation of reciprocal respect and latitude to do what you need to do as well.
I’ve never seen another story do this quite so well with such so-often-abused tropes and dynamics, and it’s one of the reasons that the romance in particular makes this work so near and dear to me.
It kinda reaffirmed my ability to see these things I naturally love seeing in love stories as healthy, reasonable forms of affection and devotion when based in an actual healthy relationship. When much, much fiction that treats similar dynamics badly makes me want to feel bad for enjoying aspects of them.
So seeing THIS relationship be what it is was a validating, freeing, and clarifying experience.It basically explained for me why I like these things, and elucidated why, for me, they fit into my paradigm of ideal romance and devotion, even (especially) when they can be problematic if treated wrong.
In essence, seeing these tropes done well is also an exercise in seeing what was missing in cases where they were damagingly removed from context, and thus understanding their key aspects and the core behind their impact. This book actually literally kinda reframed the way I conceptualize romance by helping me put together how many of the tropes I love in romances actually fit into an ideal relationship.
A spring cleaning of my thoughts if you will.
An ordering of my conceptions.
And I bonded with it deeply for that.
And yet it is also trash, who would’ve thought.
(it is self-aware, culture-savvy, meta-commentary trash for the most part, that clearly leans into it with fond intention, so I really do not mind it. It manages to be genre bending while expressing only love for its own genre and why it is the way it is. No disdain here. Only love for things as they are.)
#wow you can tell I originally wrote this ramble at like 3am RIGHT after my very first reread of the novel way back when#sharing it anyway#I stand by the observations#though I may come back and edit this with more receipts later#during my 5th reread perhaps#tgcf#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#my pre volume 7 tgcf opinions#tossing my thoughts into the void#long post#tgcf spoilers#just to be safe
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some more pics of elise.
i was trying to style her everyday outfit and just ended up posing her and taking pics.
i found a word document i had written several months ago planning out elise’s personality, her life, her past, her insecurities, her flaws, her relationship with rainer, how they met, etc. basically her character development sheet. rereading it made me a lil bit emotional 🥺����
#ts3#the sims 3#shes literally barbie#how many of you remember the NOVEL i wrote abt her and rainer months ago 💀#cringe at that post bc the story needs a lot of work but also... i was rly inspired at the time wow#my mind...
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finally finished orv after two years . . . what do i do with my life now
#started in junior year hs dropped it for a while then started reading again at the start of this semester and now im finally done !#dont know whether to cheer or just crumple up and start crying bc wow that was a ride#i thought the ending was tragic but then i moved on to the epilogue and oh my godd#the way kdj was crying and miserable bc he missed his companions and he wanted to be with them so Badly#but when kimcom finally Finally chase him down and come back to him theyre too late and hes already disspitated into other world lines#and after that like. whenever kdj pulls some shit and dies the next chapter always starts with an ‘i’#and hes back and alive and kicking and Thinking but after that epilogue chapter there isnt a chapter in his pov theres no more ‘i’s and.#it just made me incredibly sad bc we dont get to see his pov ever again bc hes truly gone unless we as a reader can imagine him alive again#anyways sad things aside it is Incredibly funny that lee hyunsung just became a wanted man in the 1865th round lmaoo#+ uriel sun wukong and black flame dragon forming a band together ??? truly the most randomest thing in the epilogue#++ yoohankim need to stop beating the shit out of e/o and learn to talk their feelings out Please#+++ sooyoung’s love for dokja has me miserable o-|-< she would wait for him an eternity write for him an eternity im so sad#three times she endlessly wrote a novel for him to read three times she waited to see him for so long <//3#you bet im imagining the happiest conclusion i can for them#they WILL live happily ever after in that big house together as long as i have something to say about it!#orv
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re: The Novelist
c.c. @petrichoraline @sadday4sure @thewayofsubtext @waitmyturtles
I liked it. I liked it quite a lot. I'm still processing (/starting Mood Indigo), so I'm not sure if I have much I can articulate about it yet.
All I knew about it going in was the basic premise (pornography writer and his assistant) and that it was from the other side of Japan's BL traditions, meaning that it was "dark," contained dubcon, and was high heat. So I wasn't sure if it even was a romance or would have any sort of happy ending and thus I kept my heart to myself for the first few episodes, not trusting the show with it. I watched with a more analytical mindset at the beginning, which morphed into a love for the characters as they showed their own hearts.
Perhaps if I'd gone in unaware I would have found it dark and disturbing, but as it was a found it more aching and melancholy than anything else. The dubcon was no worse than other shows I've seen, and fit the story and the themes better than many (I won't get into those comparisons here). There was angst and loneliness and lashing out, but the power never felt overly weighted toward Kijima's side, despite Kuzami's youth and relative innocence, and the tangle of debts and their work relationship.
The actors were all excellent. I was relieved to see that my newfound love Izuka Kenta (who I'd seen for all of 5 minutes of screen time in Candy Color Parodox) is in fact very good actor, and brought nuance and strength and complex desires to the part of Kuzami.
I can't help but comparing shows to other shows these days, so here is what I was thinking while watching this one. The Novelist came out favorably, if it was a comparison of quality.
There is of course the use of dubcon, for which my only other real reference point are Thai BL, and that analysis is a multi-tentacled beast that is would get me off track for the rest of this post, so I won't start on it. I will say that one thing I noticed was that the pornographic fantasies were generally (all?) dubcon ones, and that both affected my interpretation of the characters' feelings about the real dubcon scene (because they both were into dubcon in fantasy), and habituated me to seeing dubcon in the show by the time the fifth episode came around. The other thing I guess I will say is that it feels different to me, easier to tolerate and move past, to see one character violate another out of sadness and fear and the desire to push someone away and hold them close at the same time. In real life absolutely no, the reason for ignoring consent matters not, but seeing it in a story I can work with that.
And then there are the pornographic fantasies, which were used so interestingly here. They were our (and seemingly Kuzami's) introduction to desire and sex. They usually featured other actors portraying the porn characters, which at first bothered me - I wanted more time with Kijima and Kuzami as they wrote together - but then came to make sense, for reasons I can't articulate now. The show's seduction of us followed Kijima's only half intentional seduction of Kuzami. It lured us in with his voice dryly describing lurid sex acts, sounding humorous at first, but soon grew more genuinely erotic as the music and the cinematography and Kijima's voice changed. And there was something about the way the porn fantasies provided both distance from the characters and simultaneously made them seem even more vulnerable, their minds laid even more bare than their bodies, that created this uncomfortable, seductive eroticism of the show. Kijima was arousing Kuzami while still pretending Kuzami's arousal was meaningless to him.
Which was part of why I didn't know what to expect from the show at first. Was this going to be an overcast and complicated story of self-discovery, about how Kuzami was changed by one summer with this seductive twisted older man? It wasn't until Kido showed up and Kijima fell slightly to pieces, that I understood that it would be both their stories, and that I could hope for romance rather than just sexual awaking, even though I wasn't yet sure of a happy ending.
The fantasies too changed over the course of the series, going from the ones about men and women that Kijima wrote, to Kuzami's fantasies of the two of them, and then disappeared altogether, as they stopped wanting a fantasy and started their convoluted paths to wanting and seeing each other's real selves, not the fantasy version.
(The comparison about fantasies in my mind, which I probably only thought of due to a coincidence of timing, was to the innocent romantic fantasies of My School President. Which despite the very different content, share a similar role of showing the character's desires to the audience, and of pointing to the contrast between unrealistic fantasy and the reality of loving and being loved by another actual human being with their own subjectivity in the world.) (This honest dive into arousal while creating erotic art in collaboration with someone desired was what I was vaguely hoping for, though did not expect, from Oh! My Assistant. So I was glad to have it done so well here.)
Closely connected to the fantasies was how much the show was about writing. Both literally, a good portion of screen time was spent watching Kuzami writing Kanji and listening to to Kijima recite the words of the novel, and in that Kijima's story was about his journey as a writer. I felt the pain of his not being able to write, I felt the isolation of "writer" being his only identity, his only sense of self. This was what I wanted from Happy Ending Romance, which frustratingly did not feel like it was really about writers. This very much did. I could dig deeper into why it felt that way, but this post is already much longer than I meant for it to be.
The focus of the story was so tightly held on Kuzami and Kijima in their time together that fevered summer. We learned very little about them beyond their moments together. And I think that works. It builds the heightened intensity of their connection with each other, like they're living in a world apart from the rest. Kijima seems to have been living in this isolation for most of his life, while Kuzami apparently has friends and classes and a life outside this bubble, but it is Kijima whose backstory we end up learning more about. In a less nuanced show Kuzami would be almost a blank slate, ready to be molded* by Kijima's desires, but Izuka Kenta and the subtleties of the script imbue him with a quiet strength. At the beginning he doesn't yet know what he wants, but when he figures it out he has a solidity of purpose that won't let him be pushed around.
*yes it's a mixed metaphor but I didn't like any of the matching sets I could think of
And he sees Kijima, because he so desperately want to. Once he figures out that it's Kijima he wants, he works so hard to get under his mask and see him. Despite Kijima doing his damnedest not to be seen. Takezai Terunosuke is excellent in the role, playing both the Mona Lisa mask and the broken man beneath, and showing the cracks to get there. When he broke down in tears, back to Kuzami... I cried. This show, which I thought was going to be about how Kuzami was changed by their time together, ended up being about how Kijima was changed by him.
I feel like I'm talking circles around the center of them, but there is so much that could be said, so many ways to examine their relationship.
Oh! and the cinematography/editing/sound/etc! So good. I kept thinking about everyone's brilliant responses to my questions on this post, and really noticed the use of wide long shots and letting the actors come in and out of frame. It served the story well.
This was my first "dark" JBL, and I want to watch more now, to better put this show in context.
Fuck, y'all. This was supposed to be a single paragraph simply stating that I liked the show. And maybe naming a few topics I found interesting. Instead it swelled into this, and still feels very incomplete. But I will leave the rest for another day. Especially as I expect I will have an even more thoughts on the characters after watching the rest of the series.
#the novelist#pornographer series jbl#japanese bl#thoughts on consent and boundary violations in bl#gillianthecat reacts to bl#conversations with blblr#conversations with qlblr#my ramblings#wow that's a lot of words#no [editing] we die like men#how deep#do i need to bury tags#in order to keep them out of searches#but still let people filter them#hopefully this is deep enough#(wrote kijima in his latest novel)#my school president#oh my assistant#candy color paradox#happy ending romance
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Somebody help I SWEAR there's a novel out there about a Russian (maybe?) spy woman who goes undercover and falls in love with a cellist (maybe???) woman in a ballet setting (MAYBE???????) but I can't find it and I wanna do a report on it T^T
#wlw#sapphic books#books#novels#SOMEONE HAS TO KNOW#ALL I CAN REMEMBER WAS THINKING “I NEED TO READ THAT” MANY YEARS AGO AND I'M DUMB AND NEVER WROTE IT DOWN#(maybe i did but it's lost forever now)#but i also remember thinking “wow that's so much like Natasha Romanov but gayer somehow”
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Wow I love writing romance <3
(^only wrote about a dozen pages of world building info dumps about literature and a metatextual scene of a character reading an excerpt of a novel that doesn't exist in order to realize someone is his friend. Romantic Interest hasn't appeared in 20 pages)
#i used to get bummed out when commenters complained that i spent too much time making up an orv videogame#and explaining the backstories of kdj's friends but like now that i take believe in myself pills i realize that like they dont get#that literally everything is /about/ the main relationship bc the main relationship is informing kdj's behavior in /every/ scene hes in#and so like literally any interaction or conversation can also be about that while also being about things i think are interesting#like the reason i had to explain the videogame i made up was so that you get kdj rigging it so yjh wins big#and then the reason i have to explain this literary world stuff is so that you can see the themes that resonate to kdj because of his own#experiences (one of which is the main relationship)#and then the fake novel excerpt i wrote is FORESHADOWING for the end of the chapter so there...#ROMANCE IS NOT THEM KISSING OR THINKING WOW HES CUTE ITS HIS ENTIRE VIEW ON THE NOTION OF ROMANCE AND LOVE BEING WARPED BY THE FACT THAT HE#FIRST DENIED HIMSELF ACCESS TO IT WITH HIM#personal
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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If you’re willing pls some details on your bg3 character? They’re so gorgina. I love her. I wanna give her a lil daisy or smth and put it behind her ear. If possible. If not we’ll work something out. Your taste in screenshots is so good and I love seeing other ppls games. Especially when we have more than one in common.
What’s her class? Her name? Any subclasses 🤔
Any reason for The Gale romance, or is it one of those unexplained there is no reason types? Either way they’re cute.
Where does her expertise lie, any backstory you’ve thought of and decided on and willing to share?
What’s her favourite pass time, what’s her usual response to difficult situations be it emotionally or in a fight? Does she believe in a high power?
Much luv, if you decide to answer or not I appreciate your posts no matter the game popping up on my time line <3 just an interested individual passing thru swat me like a fly if necessary and carry on 🤞🏼 I’m glad it seems like ur having a good time, hope ur doing well !
First of all thank you SOO much for asking ❤️❤️❤️ I didn’t think anyone would be that interested <<333 this ask made my day
n ive been thinking over it a lot since getting into act 3, ((im not a dnd expert sooo consider the follow some silly musings I have on her backstory/abilities 🙈))
Tldr is-
Dark Eyes is a Mephistopheles tiefling, she used to be a cleric but I changed her class later to an Archfey Warlock, she is an outlander and worships Kelemvor!!
She was born at sea! her parents were human & lived as merchants. They loved her despite her unexpected infernal heritage, they called her 'dark eyes' for her unusual appearance. She had a relatively happy childhood, she always felt at home in far off places. While sailing to the Sword Coast thier ship was capsized by a storm, her parents and the crew died but she survived, washed ashore near a temple dedicated to Kelemvor. From this point on, her life was marked by a quiet melancholy and deep religious fervor. Her near death experience exposed the capricious nature of fate.
she fully embraced the path of a Cleric of Kelemvor and traveled extensively over all of Faerun giving the last rites to the dying and aiding the departed, until the day she met a dying dryad in a forest, taking pity on her she guided its spirit to the realm beyond gaining the favor of the Faerie Queen Titania, ultimately sealing her fate as an Archfey Warlock.
Among the Fey she was reborn as 'Nemeth' a name given to her by her first lover a Leanan sidhe being. Under the guidance of these fey beings, she embraced life with reckless abandoned, danced among dryads in deep elder forests, and sung the songs of the rusalkas. She inspired poets and was the bane of mortal men, she learned to act in accordance to her own whims rather than being a martyr - to me she is always very fickle and easy to displease, I've had her hex people for saying rude things to her (looking at u lord whitburn) on the surface she is seems distant but she still has a soft heart, where others fight she likes to wait things out, let others expose themselves, charm and decieve (in a way her and Raphael would get a long very well if they weren't enemies in game hehe)
On the gale romance- well, that was a complete accident what can I say his dorkish nature is bewitching!!
they definitely play off each other well!! If it weren't for Gale she really wouldn't be trying so hard to save others. Being a warlock, she knows better than most that, to give into raw power is to become infinetly more vulnerable to the greater beings that wield it- She wants Gale to understand this!! Despite being a warlock, she still gives patronage to Kelemvor, it’s a big reason why she does not like Mystra's influence over Gale - to her Kelemvor is impartial, fair - he doesn't keep his devotees on a leash and does not interfere in mortal affairs, he is the washing away of these things, the cleansing of all desire. She wants Gale to see that his life is his own- only if he lets go! Anyways in my head she and Gale adopted the tiefling Arabella and sent her away to wizard school or whatever the equilvalent is
#bg3 oc#bg3 Dark Eyes#asks#full name reveal 🙈 I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually#only Gale would know her real name tbh#wow I can’t believe I wrote u a whole novel on her its still a bit of a wip tho :/#normally I’m not that into making up backstories or ocs w exception of sims#bg3 is THAT fun!!!#this post is also me outting myself as a Kelemvor fan I fuck heavy w his story#if I got teleported into the game I’d be his cleric for real
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Nothing has ever made as much sense as finding out that Alice Oseman wrote Solitaire at 17.
#heartstopper#solitaire#osemanverse#the first time i read solitaire i was like ‘wow this has very teenage girl disaffected with society’ vibes#which makes a lot of sense#i also love how alice wrote a whole novel and then said i’m gonna make a spinoff comic about the main character’s brother and his boyfriend
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AO3 First Lines Tag Game
Tagged by @caparrucia
Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.
o boy well fffx is no longer anonymous so
A Life for Compassion (Warriors Cats. Yes, really,) A desperate scream of fury, a ghastly choking sound, his body convulsed, his legs jerked, and Tigerstar felt the cut Scourge had given him open.
Nuits Blanches (with @insecateur, pokemon x/y) “So,” Augustine prompted, leaning over the café table towards where Diantha was checking her texts, “what’s this guy like?”
belief (pokemon x/y) Lysandre spent his day on his knees, bound by nothing and no-one, mouth split wide on a ring gag, blindfolded and waiting for use.
hearts always hurt more while they are learning (pokemon x/y, go read my novel go, go read it) A mountain of a man: They call him the ginger yeti, he’s secretly part bear, says fewer words than all the glaciers in the Alps combined, you’re more likely to get a full sentence out of the wind, the legendary, one and only… “Excuse me,” says Lysandre d’Orléans, dressed for the cold and the snow in the low witching-hour blackness of two in the morning, standing at the cable car up toward the Dent du Géant.
Diantha Carnet's Studio Award Sausage Surprise Explained (pokemon x/y) Diantha Carnet (40) made headlines earlier this year after the birth of her second child and her retirement as Champion of Kalos when she confirmed rumors about the true nature of her polyamorous relationship with the father of her children, Professor Augustine Sycamore (48) and his husband, Lysandre Sycamore (43).
that long-sought land (pokemon x/y) “Spread your cunt for me.”
what's the use of wavering? (pokemon x/y) Fourteen is not a particularly notable number when it comes to anniversaries (more notable is Augustine turning forty in August) but they are not about to overlook an opportunity to celebrate surviving and thriving.
Calamity Chef (tales of the abyss) Anise Tatlin has never had anything so gauche as manners.
babygirl (pokemon x/y) “I bet you could come just from being spanked,” Professor Sycamore had said, after he’d spent the better part of an afternoon beating Lysandre’s ass so swollen and red that it practically glowed.
plug and play (pokemon xy) When Lysandre comes in from the rain, shaking water off of his umbrella, he finds Augustine sitting sprawled out in his desk chair, capping and uncapping his pen, twisting it back and forth between his hands.
im not tagging anyone but if you want to feel free to do it. wow i write a lot of pokemon x/y porn
#me staring at my fic like#wow i really do live like this#i want to write even more of it#look at how old some of those fics are how havent i written more (exhausted) (wrote a novel)#this is a stable writing tag
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Now I'm thinking about that ex and I'm just
#it was a fucking mess like holy shit#i had a job at that time and on top of that the ex wanted me to spend so many hours every night talking to them#they got upset if i wanted to go to bed early#got upset when i wanted to do things on my own#i was walking on egg shells a lot of time it feels#i broke up with them when i got accepted to uni and my mental health was Bad#they were SO mad#didn't understand my reasoning at all and tried to make me the bad person#they came back some months later trying to rekindle the friendship and for some reason i decided to try it#but wow it was a mistake#i was SO anxious#told them that hey i cant do this im sorry#and wow they went off#wrote me a fucking novel about how terrible i am but i never was able to read it because they blocked me before i could lmaooo
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