#would you believe i read these in september i am so bad at doing these little reviews

[libraryleopard]

Further volumes in the horror comic series about a secret society that hunts monsters who feed on fear, especially children's fear

Flashbacks to the origin story of monster hunter, Erica Slaughter, in volume four

[griancraft]

Hi guys, this is the donation page I was talking about to help me get out of my abusive situation. More context below the “read more”

It’s entirely optional to donate. I get being broke or wanting to support people who are in more immediate need. I hope I can pay it forward when I’m in a better place.

Most of you probably know my situation already but my parents are abusive and they have respected positions of power where I live. Both work at the university I go to and one of them is close with my boss at work. if I were to speak out about anything I went through I would not be believed because of how “nice” and “respectable” my parents are. I would lose housing and potentially way, way more than that. To mutuals I can show a bit of proof in dms but I am afraid of even posting what I have in case they find it.

I do not expect anyone to pay for this but me, and I am working 35 hours a week right now and will probably be working full time in the summer. But I’m also physically and mentally disabled, and my ability to work is sorta limited sometimes, so help would be really, really nice. I’m really sorry for how wish washy I’ve been these last few months it’s getting really bad.

I wasn’t given many shifts in May and I am unable to work in June at all. My aim is to leave the country by mid September. (I am still waiting for important papers from the Canadian government which I do not have access to where I am.)

[accio-victuuri]

xiao zhan elle september issue cover story Q&A

ELLE: During this rest period, do you think about things that happened on the set?

Xiao Zhan: Of course, I remember a few days after the filming was finished, I had a dream that we were still filming, and the director and I were still discussing how to say that word? How to handle that scene?

ELLE: Do you actually miss the atmosphere on the set?

Xiao Zhan: I like it very much, because I like the feeling of everyone creating together and working together to get something done.

ELLE: When you first entered the entertainment industry and your popularity grew rapidly, you said that it felt a bit unreal and magical, but now you seem to be quite relaxed. How did this change happen?

Xiao Zhan: Rather than saying it’s unreal or magical, after so many years I feel that I haven’t had time to adapt to the fast pace at that time, so when I wake up from sleep, where am I today? What am I doing? I think it’s a process, just like when you first enter the workplace, everyone is very excited, "I’m here to work, please take good care of me", "I’m here, everyone get out of the way", "I can do it, I can do it". (Laughs) But after experiencing a lot of things, I feel that everything needs to be planned for the long term.

ELLE: In several interviews you mentioned that you like to play roles that "can convey energy". Why do you have such a preference?

Xiao Zhan: Because I think it is the life of the character. The kind of energy I am talking about is not just a single positive energy in the general sense. I mean the nutrition that can be subtle and silent. I believe that every character has a complete story line in his heart. This is what I like very much. As long as you dig deep, you can move people. I don’t like to call the villain a "villain", as if it is defined as a bad character from the beginning, but it is not. He may have his own difficulties.

ELLE: It sounds like “transmitting energy” is just a general term. Is it actually about understanding different people through performance?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, if we break it down to each character, they all convey different things. But if we say they are “good guys” or “bad guys”, I think that’s meaningless.

ELLE: So do you think acting is a form of communication?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, you can say that. I think it’s great to say that (acting) is a bridge to communicate with the audience. Just like when a play is broadcast, I will read some of the audience’s comments and impressions, and feel that they have a rich feeling about the work. When I see some comments that are exactly the same as my thoughts when filming, I feel very magical, as if this bridge is really connected. We don’t know each other in life, and we haven’t communicated, but he suddenly got my thoughts at the time, and I felt that, oh, acting is a very beautiful and magical thing.

ELLE: Do you watch some science fiction movies, TV shows, and literary works?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, I used to like watching "The Three-Body Problem". I have watched some science fiction movies recently, the American TV series "The Stars", and recently I am watching "The Replica". They are all about infinite flow and parallel time and space. Because I think there may really be parallel time and space. Every choice you make will split into a different parallel time and space.

ELLE: Do you imagine Xiao Zhan in a parallel universe?

Xiao Zhan: I really wonder, for example, is he still an actor? Maybe, is he still filming now? Is he still singing now? Or is he still a designer? Is he working for others or is he his own boss? (Laughs) Really, I really wonder.

ELLE: What do you think the future will be like?

Xiao Zhan: Wow, I think the world might return to its original state at that time, and the world might become a better place, and people would return to the most basic communication with each other.

ELLE: This is very interesting. Why do you think so?

Xiao Zhan: Anyway, at least now I am a little disgusted with the ubiquitous Internet. When we were young, when there were no mobile phones, we would chat while eating, and we would call our friends downstairs to play hide-and-seek and various games. I think that time was very precious.

ELLE: Will the profession of actor still exist by then?

Xiao Zhan: I think there will be. I believe that as long as life goes on, drama will continue. Because everyone needs an output, needs emotional resonance and sustenance, whether it is images or sounds. So I think that even if the world is destroyed, as long as there are still people, drama will definitely exist.

-END.

source

[maxdibert]

The Marauders fandom is one that someone could easily enter only to quickly lose interest, and that's exactly how I feel right now. I “joined” (or rather got dragged into) it around late September or early October of THIS YEAR, drawn in by the excitement of everyone creating their own stories for the characters. As someone who also loves to write, I found it fascinating and immediately felt a connection to the community.

The biggest mistake of my life has been getting involved in this fandom. The level of toxicity is almost shocking. It baffles me that many of the members are four years older than I am, able to pay taxes and even vote. I had hoped that their age would mean they could engage in meaningful discussions, conduct thorough research, analyze characters effectively, and write about them with depth. But I’ve been let down repeatedly.

First, it was Jegulus, a ship I couldn't understand because, I admit, I am someone who takes canon a little seriously even when I'm making fanon things, and these two do NOT seem like they'd work well together. Then, it was like characters that are known to be BAD PEOPLE were suddenly cool kids that were either gay, twinks or just given this sob story so people could like them (Regulus, Sirius, Barty Crouch Jr, Remus, James, hell, even Evan and Mulciber...). Next, the girls were thrown to the side and given WLW ships just so they could stay out of the way of MLM ships.

What finally pushed me over the edge was the overwhelming disdain for Severus Snape. The constant name-calling, the people who genuinely believed that being hung upside down for humiliation wasn't a form of sexual assault, and the accusations of him stalking or being obsessed with Lily—all while completely overlooking the fact that he represents one of the truest reflections of a guy clearly needing HELP and STABILITY. The idea that "he deserved to be bullied" really stung, and it feels like I’m constantly being pushed away for simply admitting that his character means everything to me. After all, he offers me something to delve into, to grasp and wrestle with in my thoughts. He's also realistic, because wouldn't you be miserable too if you had to grow up in a domestic abusive situation, go to school only to get bullied??

How can I come back to a fandom after so long, happy to finally become social again after being socially anxious, only for the fandom to be crap? How can I look up to anyone my age and think they know what they're doing when THIS is how they act? I understand it's fiction; I know that I shouldn't be pissed because it is a fanon-based community, BUT fiction and reality can cross over and over and over again. There's a point that some people need to realize that whatever they say or do with a fictional character will mirror how they'll react to people like that in the real world, even if they don't notice they're doing it.

(P.S. - I don't have good grammar, so this might be hard to read...sorry!)

Honestly, I’m sorry you had such a terrible experience. I guess for those who also enjoy Severus as a character or are his fans, being in that fandom must be a nightmare. I mean, I’ve literally seen them fangirl over absolutely EVERY character except him—I have no idea what their deal is. Some people say it’s because adult Severus is unpleasant, but, hello? Barty Crouch Jr.? Seriously? That man not only tortured a couple into insanity but also locked a man in a trunk for months and triggered the son of the couple he drove insane. To me, it all boils down to beauty privilege and classism. What I don’t understand is looking down on people who are in that fandom but also happen to be Snape fans. I mean, there are plenty of people within Snapedom who, for example, like the Marauders or are fans of Sirius or Lily, and I’ve never seen anyone give them crap for it. I wouldn’t give anyone crap for that.

In fact, my issue with the Marauders' fandom isn’t that they like the Marauders but how they try to justify the unjustifiable, whitewash their actions, or completely destroy their canon personalities.

Anyway, I feel really bad because, in the end, people use the internet to pass the time, have fun, vent, or escape the real world, and it’s such a shame that they’re met with rejection instead. But, honestly, what can you expect from people who minimize or whitewash bullying other than more bullying?

[irondadfics]

Hello! I was wondering if anyone knows any fics of Peter being a bit of a dick? I love the stories where he is rude to people, normally as a way to push them away so they can’t see how bad his life is. Any examples of rude/sassy Peter would be greatly appreciated!

here are some for you! Happy reading

Wake up and smell the coffee by Bergen

The Avengers find themselves in need of Spider-Man’s help to improve their reputation. Peter Parker, however, doesn't exactly have the best reputation: he has been dabbling in a life of crime. Tony really doesn't care about picking up after some degenerate teen. Peter really doesn't care about some dumb adults telling him what to do. And nothing will ever, ever change their minds.

100 Hours (Community Service is for the Turtles) by orphan_account

“Hey there, Parker. I’ve got some exciting news about your community service sentencing,” the bright voice from the other line says. "It looks like you've been reassigned." “Oh, yeah?” Peter asks, warily. His social worker sounds excited, but he's been burned a few too many times to take any "good news" at face value. Peter listens to her explain with a furrowed brow, and when the call is over, he opens the web browser on his cracked Android and quickly types the words september foundation into the search bar. His eyes narrow as he peruses the top result. Oh, he is going to kill that Stark bastard. - All Peter Parker wants to do is fly under the radar. He wants to go to school, work off his sentence by picking up trash at the stupid park, and avoid going home for as long as possible each night. Unfortunately for him, Tony Stark has never been one to see untapped potential and not do something about it.

The seventh escape by Bergen

Tony and Pepper snatched Peter up only a few weeks after the first Spider-Man video went viral. Real fucking coincidence, right? Suddenly, Tony Stark rocked right up at his group home, strewing business cards around like he was Oprah. If Oprah were an ugly white dude with a goatee. “Big fan,” he told Peter, fasting forward through a video of Spider-Man catching a bus before it crashed through a road block. “In and out of foster care your whole life, am I right? I believe my wife and I could provide a very fitting home for you.” “Pass,” Peter said.

Paradigm shift by Bergen

Peter got a Stark phone when he was ten. Adrian took him to a big store with lots of TV screens that all played the same video of Tony Stark declaring to the world that he was Iron Man. They ducked behind the microwaves, both of them giggling as Adrian stuffed the phone under Peter’s sweater. They walked right out the door without tripping the alarm, and Adrian bought him ice cream to celebrate. — After his parents die, Peter is taken in by the Toomes family. Things slowly, then quickly spiral out of control. All Adrian wants is to take revenge on Tony Stark. All Peter wants is to do the right thing. Why is that so much harder than expected?

the long game by niniblack

“Your prints were a match for a missing persons case from ten years ago. A little boy who was kidnapped.” The officer pulls out a picture that she turns toward Peter. It’s a little boy around four years old, with curly brown hair. “That’s you,” she says. Peter shakes his head. “Do you remember how you got to that park? Who left you there?” “Lady, I don’t remember jack shit,” Peter says. “I was like four. No one remembers shit from when they were four.” --- Or: the biodad au where Peter gets arrested for selling drugs, and that actually improves his life.

[gunkbaby]

Tokyo Ghoul re-read:

Hello everypony. i have thrown around the idea of a Tokyo Ghoul re-read event of late, and a lot of people seem interested. I have come to some ideas for it, and wanted to inform everyone as I begin to sort it. If u have any ideas for the re-read, or might be interested in being a mod, pls dm me !

Im thinking basic idea of the re-read is kind of like a book club - a set chapter number per week, then the rest of the week is discussion. The chapter number i was setting was going to be about 1 volume per week - with adjusted numbers for slower and faster readers. (For example, know I can easily do a few day, but i read manga fast, but other people might only have time for 10 chapters a week, etc)

Also want to state the re-read would be open for literally everyone! Bc lots of ppl have expressed interest, but are already deep into personal re-reads - however you can absolutely still participate in the re-read and discussion (especially) if you are reading at a later point in the manga!!!!! i also know a few ppl who haven’t read TG before/anime onlys, who might like to join in too, and that’s absolutely fine too! There would be a spoiler free chat(s) too for newer readers specifically for this - and ppl can invite whoever they want to the read as well.

Pls give any suggestions or ideas! I’d luv to hear them.

The boring bits (where the read is held, estimate of when, etc) r all under here:

I’m thinking to do it on Discord, with weekly discussion threads/posts on twitter and tumblr - i believe you can create communities and public groups on both apps, so I would aim to make them also, if enough ppl were interested. There’s also the option for Instagram group chats - a WhatsApp group? Idk - if u have any suggestions, pls lmk. I don’t rly do group chats often.

As for when the re-read will start - i don’t yet know. I’m going back to school next month, as many are, and I’m just a busy little bee with a lot of interests and hobbies, so i would like to get into my routine first and ensure that i have time to dedicate to the re-read - or to gage how much help i might need with it. I think I might aim to start it in October personally - ideally on the first, but ik a lot of people do things during October (I’m literally considering writing for kinktober lmao) so it might be that later than that is a bit better - maybe trying to time it to start with a sort of school break time period. Maybe by the end of September I’ll be like ‘oh this is way easy, i have so much time for it’, but im adhd and bad at time planning, so i doubt it lmao.

I’m sorry if that’s too long a wait - y’all can start re-reads in the meantime idgaf. I just don’t want to start the re-read and realise two weeks in that i literally don’t have time. Lmao.

I also would ideally want a few mods/helpers on hand with the read. If only to help take care of the discord/chats, host separate discussions, etc - please lmk if you are interested. In particular, people with voice chat mod experience - i have no experience there so am desperate.

Pls lmk if u r interested in any of this - am i just talking to a wall? Idk! Tell meeee! Any suggestions or ideas r also greatly appreciated. I am hosting my own little re-read here but obviously this idea is not unique, I’m trying to see if enough people are interested in a group re-read with added discussion. It’s just some fun ofc.

[dreaming-marchling]

2024 Fic Round Up

Tagged by @princessfbi (thank you! so thrilled to have discovered your work this year!)

2024 Word Count: 661,417

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

Safe In Certainty Started in 2023, Completed in Feb 2024 | Fast & Furious | Marked in Trust Series | 223,657k

Part four finished! Still stunned to be here story after story with the most amazing commenters I could have ever asked for. Not bad for a story I had never intended to share!

MARCH

Marked in Faith 10 chapters posted in 2024 | Fast & Furious | Marked in Trust Series | Roughly 60k posted in 2024

I'm putting this in for March because this is the month I began posting one story a month until Reckless in Devotion started. Some of those babies are longer than my oneshots, lol. Forever love exploring other POVs in the Marked in Trust world!

APRIL

MAY

The Ex 911 | Bucktommy | 17.5k

My first 911 story! My first Bucktommy story! Buck as a character totally captured me this year. I haven't been taken by a new fandom in so long so this was so exciting! Of course I beat the crap out of Buck right in my first fic for him :)

JUNE

Eyes On Me 911 | Bucktommy | 18k

Post lightning strike cataracts, I had so much fun with this one. I constantly think about extending it or maybe doing a Buddie version of it, I just loved the storyline so much and other scenes popped into my head after I posted

Doctor/Warlock Confidentiality Shadowhunters | Magnus-Centric | 17k

My first Shadowhunters of the year! Magnus Bane gets therapy against his wishes. I felt very clever for the title, lol

Heart & Universe 911 | Buddie | 6.8k

My first Buddie story! Why be stuck in a ship war when you can have BOTH?? I love writing them realizing they're in love :)

JULY

The King of the Dark Storm Shadowhunters | Malec & Chairman Meow | 5.8k

I've had this stray headcanon about Chairman being an old god trapped as a cat floating around in my head for fun for so long and finally I wrote it!

Not Sexy 911 | Bucktommy | 7k

Listen, I need more fics about Buck using sex in unhealthy ways. It's catnip for me. Tommy got a glimpse behind that particularly miserable door in this one

Invasion 911 | Buddie | 10k

Nakedperil!Buck and protective!Eddie - a match made in heaven, in my opinion

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

Over the Cliff 911 | Gen 118 Fam | 6k

This was originally supposed to be how Buck got injured in Not Sexy but I was having way too much fun with the cliff rescue which wasn't even the point of Not Sexy so I chopped them in half to make a gen 118 family/Buck whump story and gave a much more to the point explanation for Buck's injuries in Not Sexy

Away From Us 911 | Buddie | 76k

My first 911 multichapter story! A presumed dead lawsuit era story full of angst. I fully anticipate more lawsuit era angst in my future, lol

OCTOBER

Art Class and Earthquakes 911 | HenRen/Gen Buck & Karen | 5.5k

Karen Wilson is awesome and needs more stories

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

Reckless in Devotion Fast & Furious | Brian/Dom | 33k posted in 2024

The 5th installment in Marked in Trust series!! This took me so much longer than I thought it would but it's finally up and running and I am so excited for everyone to see what's to come :)

To Be Bonded Shadowhunters | Malec & Parabatai | 30k posted in 2024

I still literally cannot believe that this is finally being shared. I started this story in 2019 - I know I keep saying that but like this thing took me 5 years. It is my nemesis, finally vanquished. And people are enjoying it??? What? I've been cursing its name and people are now enjoying it. Wild. Wonderful

2024 has been kind of a crappy year for me irl but in fic it as been wonderful. A new fandom, so many words shared and, best of all, such amazing support and kindness from readers. You're all so wonderful and you have truly been one of the brightest pieces of my year. I cannot thank you all enough.

Tagging: You know the drill, if you saw this and thought "I wanna do that" then you're tagged. Literally @ me so I can read yours, that's how tagged you are.

[minty-mumbles]

Linked Universe Survey 2023

The long awaited results of the survey. Sorry it took me forever, making graphs is hard.

There were 452 responses to the survey as a whole, which is almost double what we got last year, so thank you to everyone who participated!

If you want to see the raw data, you can find that here. I had thoughts about the data, but compiling that into another post would be too much of a hassle. Feel free to send me asks about it though!

The rest of the post will be under a read more as it it large

Demographics

Other: Demigirl (4), Transmasc (3), Grey genderfluid, Unlabeled, Demiboy, Demiagender

Other: Omnisexual (4), Poly (2), Trixic, Abroromantic or Bellusromantic, Demisexual

General Questions

Other: Quotev, Discord, their own google docs

Other: Discord, Variations of "I haven't posted yet, but I pan to" and "I haven't posted my fics in ages",

Other: Wattpad, Deviantart, Discord

Other: Crochet dolls, Custom dolls, Roleplay blogs (2), Fan translations, Headcanons (2), Piano music

The purple section in the “Warriors vs Warrior” chart is supposed to read “Warrior.” I made a typo.

Favorites and Least Favorites

Selected Free Response Answers

im sorry warriors i just can't play your game (it is very very hard. i am stuck very early on in the game)

I love cats meow meow meow

was extremely tempted to put twilight for least favorite. unfortunately he is my favorite to write from the perspective of (he has taken over most of my wips. help) and that probably counts for something. WILD on the other hand. hooo boy how the hell do i characterize this gargoyle. why is he Like That. least favorite it is

Twiddy

very good fandom to be in :) everybody is very nice

It's a straight up crime that Wars lost the aesthetics poll so quickly. He has such a peak Link design with the best colors. Ugh I'm getting wistful.

FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS.

I will fight Hylia herself and the next person who implies Twi can't handle spice. If we're going to lean into him being southern/Midwestern, which is an alright stero type for our rancher, please keep in mind the culture you're basing him off. The south and midwest can handle their spice, I assure you. Have you ever had authentic Louisiana gumbo? It will melt you tongue off. Or some good old fashion spicy fried chicken? I promise the real stuff has quite a kick. (In all seriousness, though. It's more important that you're having fun. And even I can admit the idea of Twi being an Ordonian who can't handle his spice is more than a little funny.)

I am an OoT Link edgelord and have been since early 2017. So, in September of that year, when an artist by the name of jojo56830 puts out a lineup of nine different Links and the Hero of Time is there – the oldest, no eye, Hero’s Shade armor? I saw that one sketch and just thought “oh this is gonna be bad.” Yeah of course he has the coolest design. By the way, it’s only a matter of time until Fierce Deity shows up in the comic and I have reason to believe it could be this current Dawn arc. Dawn … Dawn of a New Day … and who brought about the Dawn of a New Day? Fierce Deity. Twilight is recovering but still injured and what will happen if he falls again? Fierce Deity is coming and we need to be prepared. In this essay I will—

Remember that time when someone put the whole script of the bee movie in here? I’m not that dedicated, and I don’t have that time, but let us remember and hope someone else does it again this time. Cause someone is bound too. We’re all crazy enough to do it. Alright, love you and stay hydrated pls!

Hi! I joined this fandom really recent but i’ve always seen LU stuff on pinterest and elsewhere. Only recently have i actually took the time to understand the fandom and get back into LOZ stuff and i adore the characters and story! The more and more fanart, fanfics, and comics i see about the different Links the more i love them all. It’s such a pain to pick just one i like or one i don’t like because they’re all so unique. I love this fandom and hope to get more involved!! Have a wonderful rest of your day :]

Epona is an underrated queen

your mom

I really don't get why Zelda is called Artemis. Athena makes more sense???? It perplexes me

Anyone seeing this should check out Breanna’s E!Wild AU

Something something queer every Link into oblivion!

[semthescientist]

so this is a part two to my lil entry and here i merely wanna talk about what actually clicked for me and how everything has changed since then. part one is right here (:

as i said before, it was until september of 2023 when i was on around the fifth or fourth day of my cruise did things begin to dawn on me. if you're familiar with 4d-barbie, (i believe her name is Ada), she has a google drive filled with book resources and some of them are already annotated (which came in clutch). well, actually before the cruise i had began reading the book One Truth, One Law: I Am, I Create by Erin Werley and i resonated with things so heavily. i kept reading bits and pieces of the book but also was determined to be present and just enjoy my cruise. as i read, i became so interested in the way Erin would have full blown conversations with I AM. especially the part where Erin told her husband and then was afraid if he'd judge her but I AM simply told her to relax and let it do the talking--and that's what happened!

so i'm sitting there and i'm like "yo! how cool is this!" and of course, it's explained how to do this yourself--how to really tune in and trust your own wonderful intuition. i wanted to do it because i didn't want to reread Erin's(I AM) answers to questions to form my own answers. i had my own specific questions and no one else could answer them for me besides me. so i put the book down and i asked my own question and trusted that the answer would come to me whenever; even if he didn't come now, it was bound to.

and i had fear...i feared if it would actually happen or not. sometimes i'd be tempted to look things up or keep rereading every answer given by I AM in Erin's book. i would kind of just do self-talk when that happened, i don't know how i got through that to be honest. i can't seem to remember. but what i do remember is the little deposits that would drop into my head randomly. i was lathering up in the shower and was like, "why would i hate my persona?" [persona, ego, Vanessa--all the same, i just like the word persona better!] and i kept going with that line of thinking, asking myself a series of questions like: wait...why do i think there's something wrong with her?

isn't the persona how i'd experience a multitude of things? things that don't necessarily exist to I AM?

and i realized i was onto something because i felt so expanded. like my heart began filling up...my chest began fluttering. i know you've felt that feeling before and that feeling always comes when you're listening to yourSelf. there wasn't much else i did after i realized this because a new way of thinking just took over me. i had so much love for everything...i mean literally everything. i started to question everything i read from others.

again, something a lot of realized masters would say is "you suffer because you think you are this body" and while that's true...it just didn't feel right in my soul. none of it felt right--at least not something to remember all of the time. i didn't feel like it had any sort of longevity and the only reason i felt that way was because it didn't feel loving enough. i really wanted to know what was so bad about taking this persona into consideration...what was so wrong about loving her and holding her hand? why did i have to become aware of what she was thinking/feeling and suddenly say "oh but that isn't Me! let her cry and whine, she isn't Me."

i go into depth about this here. it's just a diary entry so the beginning i had a different outlook on my persona than i do now, hence the different header titles.

the bottom line is i had no reason nor right to hate my persona. after all, she found Me again--she found her True Self so that has to count for something. i simply started to look at the world differently and realized that it was never about fighting anything. we all know there is no "out there" and all there is is consciousness but how many have you actually put that to the test? have you stopped fighting shadows? fighting the seeming opposite circumstances? if you know there's only the will of God (which is you), why do you keep fighting everything else? have you stopped fighting your persona's fear, Vanessa's doubts--belittling her because she can't believe in herself...not yet at least?

i quickly gathered that if i love Myself, then i would have to trust Myself. i know someone probably has the fear of going "out there" and falling asleep again--losing faith or going back to believing in the world. but that could never happen. why? because of trust. You have to trust yourSelf enough to know only your will is imposed. and what builds trust? action.

personally speaking, there was a circumstance that i'd been ignoring for the longest in the name of manifestation. but lately, i've realized that whatever can happen "out there" and not only do i not have to form an opinion on it but i can watch how it crumbles when i stand ten toes down in trusting myself. i can trust Myself so much to stand tall in what i prefer and watch as Self carries me up and over the seemingly opposed...and then i glance back and they were nothing but cardboard cutouts. like that scene in coraline where she walked away and the world started crumbling--'twas only because it never existed too.

i don't fight anymore because i know My will is only ever imposed. i know that when something dares to throw a punch, it won't connect because it has already disintegrated. and most of all, i know that i can care about whatever the hell i want. hey, if you don't care about being a realized master than cool--find something that makes your heart sing and you can't help but burst from the seams when you think of it. for me, it was shifting. (do not come for me about the terminology, human mode rn so i gotta put a label). i found that shit to be so cool and to be honest, it's helped me discover my sexuality too which is a bonus. but none of this could've ever happened if i didn't start operating out of love for my persona.

just think of it, everything you desperately want you'd need a persona to experience anyway. you can take this and make some shit shake, and really define what you want or no labels at all. you can fully be I AM and have zero needs or you can be I AM with a persona, or you can just be a persona! there's people who look to an outside god but their god is rooted in so much love!

like you know a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for and only if you'd be so determined to listen to yourSelf the way you've listened to others, then shit would really start clicking. everything is perfect in its likeness and it is because I AM is all-encompassing that everything is possible--even the things we think are "bad". i promise, every question you'd ever have there's an answer for it and it's within you. you can find what matters most to you--you'll know. it's a feeling of pure confidence that cannot be described, you'll move without thinking and take chances and do whatever else and it'll feel like you're under a trance. That is You. there is no other...fall in love with Yourself and your human form too because it's nothing but a vehicle to bring you back to Self. your persona's fears and doubts are nothing but an opportunity to rely on Yourself...to trust Yourself and i speak of the infinite You.

lol i'm sorry if this seems all over the place, i was just saying what was heavy on my heart. i've been feeling a lot of love for everything lately and i want somebody else to feel that too. i know this will reach the person who's looking for it. so because of that: hi hi! you've done well, my love.

also, one last thing. there were a couple of people who helped me come to this realization and i wanted to say thank you! heavenlythea here on tumblr, iam_love.co on instagram, and Betinho Massaro for his book Super Accelerated Living (dude's mad funny, like i legit would smile reading it) oh and Ada! she came in clutch with the resources and annotating! and really everyone else for simply existing. know that you are perfect because you exist and the only reason you can't shake Self is because You (the real you) knows you'll be just fine.

love you all!

[antihbki]

Hi. I am here to discuss the tumblr users @/kotocest, known mainly in the radqueer community as Ciel, and his girlfriend @/radikyuu, who is known mainly as Kyuumi or Opphie.

Potentially triggering content ahead. Please read forward with caution.

I met Ciel and Kyuumi in September of 2023. I met Kyuumi first in a syscord/system discord server (which I will not be naming for the safety and privacy of the staff and server members), and was later introduced to Ciel.

From the start, it was obvious things were a little off. Kyuumi would often vent in the previously mentioned server about feeling gross or horrible about doing things or behaving a certain way and included that she doesn't think she could change because "he" wouldn't like her anymore. A little down the line, I found out that "he" was referring to Ciel.

Her vents weren't the only concerning aspect, though. It was clear how unstable she was when Ciel wasn't around or when someone said something about him that ticked him off. Anytime someone pointed out his toxic behavior towards her, Kyuumi would get super upset and would eventually spiral and break down because of it. Ciel would use this to his advantage and claim that she experienced such strong feelings regarding him because she was a "part of him" or because she was a "clone" of him, which would only serve as a way for Ciel to strengthen the leash he already had on Kyuumi. These are still things Kyuumi still seemingly believes, which only leads me to assume that he is still pushing this belief onto her.

There would be numerous occasions of Kyuumi coming to panic to me in DMs about these things, too. One time was especially alarming, and I am only comfortable talking about this because she herself has publicly admitted to this situation taking place. Kyuumi messaged me around 2 in the morning, telling me that she thought she was going to die. Her messages were vague and barely readable, but from what I could understand, she had injured herself in some way and was losing a lot of blood. I told her to call an ambulance, to which she responded that she couldn't. After asking why, I was blocked. After hours of staying awake, waiting for her to tell me that she was okay, I received a message from Ciel at around 10 pm. He informed me that Kyuumi was in the hospital but claimed he didn't know what happened. I asked why she blocked me, but he told me he didn't know. The next day, he admitted to encouraging her to harm herself, saying that he never intended for her to be harmed so bad, but said he didn't know why she said she couldn't call an ambulance.

Fast forward to Kyuumi coming out of the hospital, I approached her about the topic and told her what I knew, and this was when she told me about Ciel threatening her into not calling an ambulance. According to Kyuumi, the two of them were in a vc when he encouraged her to do it. Here is a screenshot of what she said to me.

|| start ||

|| end ||

While I am going to try to be neutral for most of this post, I fully believe that he was trying to kill her. This is not the only time something like this has happened.

As you can see in that last message, Kyuumi had told me before about the fact that she had sent pictures to him. She came to me after she sent them to him and told me about what she did, and said it made her feel disgusting and horrible about her body. When I tried to comfort her, she broke down and told me the things he said about her after he saw the pictures of her. She also told me about some transphobic behavior he was displaying. Here is a screenshot of her explaining that to me.

|| start ||

|| end ||

I point this part out because Kyuumi is a trans girl. She mentions in the screenshot that she asked him to avoid making comments about that specific part of her, and he disrespected that boundary and made those comments anyway. After this, she was left feeling very dysphoric and did not speak to me much.

This part is especially upsetting because Kyuumi was closeted about being a trans woman at the time. She was going by he/him pronouns and was almost exclusively using masculine terms and publicly claimed to be a trans man, but Ciel and I (as well as one other mutual friend) were aware of Kyuumi's identity. Despite Kyuumi trusting Ciel with such an important part of her identity, he went out of his way to upset her and make her uncomfortable.

She forgave him for this situation very quickly, but this behavior from Ciel continued and went unaddressed.

I witnessed Ciel manipulate her on many different occasions, and he was comfortable doing it with me present. Oftentimes, when they would argue, he would briefly mention the argument to their mutual friends, but he would always paint her out to be the one in the wrong. This led to many of our mutual friends hating Kyuumi for a while, and we even had a group chat made for the purpose of discussing what we thought was Kyuumi being an abuser. After a while, and after multiple friends cut Kyuumi off due to her supposed abusive behavior, Ciel confirmed himself on a call with me that he had been portraying her like that with the goal of isolating her. I tried to speak up and tell him how wrong that is, but I was threatened with never hearing from either of them again.

I didn't believe that he would make her stop talking to me, but I didn't take any chances and instead spoke to a friend who went on to confront him. After xe confronted Ciel, xe was blocked by both of them and removed from all of their group chats and servers. As far as I can tell, this is still something he has her do (cutting off people who call him out or who he doesn't like).

Ciel's emotional and physical mistreatment and abuse of Kyuumi is something that I have kept my mouth shut about due to the fear of being cut out of Kyuumi's life, but that ended up happening about a month ago anyways. I no longer have contact with her or Ciel, but given some of the things I have heard about their relationship, this abuse is still going on, and Kyuumi has begun to claim it is consensual.

I am not expecting this to be spread or have much attention paid to it, but I made this because I am tired of being quiet.

Thank you for your time.

[lucykuoart]

So I've been through the mod PRHVL nights and I have very strange thoughts, again…

I appreciate the work that was put into this mod as it is not the easiest task

But my thoughts don't fit the views of this fandom, so writing on Twitter is dangerous. And now I put myself at risk. After all, I am the main villain here, the hater and the monster! Although it would take some effort to get me to that point

So, on to the bright side. Hooray, yes, I can complete Olivia's quest as Marcoh and go to the ball with her! Great, although I thought it would be harder, as I always imagined

And when playing as Olivia…you can't invite Marcoh. Almost immediately you see how Daan speaks to you, although, for example, this was not the case with Marcoh. Hmm, why is that and why is it one of the three options? I pretend I don't know, I'm a terrible person, a hater! (no)

I understand that this is a mod, it is from a fan with his own views, and developing a huge number of options is expensive in every sense. But I saw the best moment when Marcoh gives the bracelet to Olivia, talking about his sister and…after we hear that he can't, because he's going with him. Okeeyy… Honestly, this could have been made into a quest, and the event was unexpected and pleasant.And you probably expect this from a romantic mod

Well, at least I almost made a visualization of my fanfic eee

They can tell me that here are Caligula's words in the game, here is Marcoh's behavior, here is the future update… So what? There is no exact yes or no right now, that's all. And also believe Caligula, the most reliable person, yeah. It's as if the unreliable narrator and similar techniques have died out or never existed. And here he is with Tanaka, with Daan together… Yes, together he can be, as with Olivia, as with anyone who is over 18 years old. Why have we reached a point where, let's be honest, a section of the fandom pushes their own views on a character without regard for the interests of others, when a compromise could be reached for everyone? Until December 2023 (wow, a year has passed) and after, I calmly looked at art or read fanfics with Marcoh and not Olivia, like that (There are some cool art and fanfics with Marcoh and Daan, everyone should watch them!) (You may have also seen my content on Marcoh/Pav. And everything is fine, I am grateful to the author for these drawings, everything is fine (sorry, I made Pav badly twice in the mod. But when I found out that we are talking about Pav as an option, playing as Marcoh I smiled, you immediately think about a specific author). There is nothing stopping me from doing this, being a terrible creature who loves the opposite sex. I'll probably be cancelled for these words, but am I lying? We have to compromise. I never said that Marco should be with Olivia, but I don't want the opposite extreme either. Everyone should be comfortable, as long as it doesn't break the law. Let me remind you, Olivia is 20, that's all

Oh, yes, I went to extremes again, but what can I do, I don’t understand anything. So, I wasn't the only one passing through, my fandom friends were there too. I really want to believe that this is not so, some kind of mistake, but when you try to make Daan/Karin in this mod… it won't work. It may also depend on the character, like Marcoh can, but Olivia can't, but I was told this. I want to be wrong, but if not…what has this rather sharp option done to prevent it? I don't want to say anything bad to the author, he doesn't owe us anything and did a great job, I also enjoyed it. But this trend of good and bad thorns, pleasing and unpleasing…is sad. When I joined the fandom in September 2023, everything was fine, everyone did whatever they wanted in this ship sandbox. But it seems to me that after more than a year the situation is getting worse and worse, ultimately dividing people for some absurd reason. Shouldn't we have fun and let there be absurd options? Again, yes, I may be too fanatical, but I will never insist on Marcoh and Olivia together as the truth, EVER. I try to show charm, everything, although yes, I failed, making it only worse, as well as what I write. I'm trying, but it's getting worse and worse, as always, I hate it, this is how life is…. It would probably be even better if I were to be subjected to a barrage of criticism. But I wanted the best, I thought people might find a neutral option…

Yes, in the end it turned into more of a personal record of thoughts, what can you do… I really don't want to offend anyone, please believe me. If I offended anyone in this fandom, said something wrong, forgive me, I never wanted and don't want to. I would rather apologize for everything, I often scare my friends with this So, about the mod at the end… Marina's quest with the mannequins is broken, you need to click on the option with questions if you have the necessary item esc

[gotham-daydreams]

Hun you have probably heard this before but take all the time you need and more! Lol. It's your fic, your idea and there is no need to stress on getting it out so fast. You lose nothing if some people ever get bored of waiting, but honestly i know many (including myself) who have waited double digit months for someone to update their fics. Anyway this is just my short way of saying that It's alright to just relax and have fun. Hope this didn't come off too rude or like im making assumptions about you, if you feel no stress, good. 🖤 And even if tumblr ends up lagging due to the lenght of the fic, you could always split it into two like you talked about before. Take it one step at a time, can't wait to find out what happens next!

Nono you didn't come off as rude or anything at all! Thank you so much for your kind words and everything, they mean a lot 💛💛💛

Though I do feel bad for taking so long since I have been working on it for a while, and even if I will prioritize the quality of Part 3 over getting it out as soon as I can, I am still trying to get to a point where I can get it out in a reasonable amount of time for you guys! And also hopefully produce a Part 3 that will make the wait worth it- even if the length doesn't exactly say anything about the quality of the chapter itself.

Which, trust me, I never intended for Part 3 to be as long as it's becoming now 😅, as I said a bit earlier on another ask, some of the moments that were supposed to be "small/short" are, in fact, not what most would consider short at all :']

I'll be honest and admit that back when I started writing Pt. 3 in September, I honestly thought that the length would be somewhere in between Pt. 1 and Pt. 2 (so about maybe 3/5k - 10k words), only for us to be here. Where Pt. 3 might end up being, (funnily enough) almost 3 times the length of Pt. 2- which I suspect to be around 10k words since by the time I reached 10k on Pt. 3, it was just about as long as Pt. 2.

Pt. 2 alone made tumblr lag on my end, so that's why the length of Pt. 3 is making me so nervous, and though I will split it into two parts if I have to- I will try to keep it as one whole part since, again, I do believe that it's better read that way.

Which, I also keep commenting on the length and everything since, well- Pt. 3 isn't done yet. And I can only look on in slight horror as I keep writing, and knowing I'm not even at the ending yet :']

Regardless of all of that, however, I do deeply appreciate all of you who are waiting, and thank you for your patience and time! I know I haven't been the most active or anything, but I do appreciate everyone and all of the support I've been receiving!! Recently I've reached 1k followers- and have been also trying to think of what to do for that, since that's a huge milestone! And I want to properly thank everyone for the support and everything, but still don't have many ideas for that at the moment :']

Still, thank you so much for everything!

[enjoythesilentworld]

Wille's Month - Voicemail (Free Day)

day 31 @youngroyals-events thank you for everything (more coming in a separate post bc i have a lot of thanks to give)

A collection of voicemails left by Wille.

read below or on ao3 (G, 800)

Simon’s phone. March 29th, 2027, 4:29pm.

“Hi baby! I’m on my way home, I’m just about to stop at the store. Did you say we needed more milk? I’ll grab some anyway, I think I have a coupon. Oh my gosh, you’ll never believe what I saw on my lunch break today. I took a walk around the park and there was this little mama duck, and she had a little trail of babies following after her. I nearly cried. I was late getting back to the shop because I stayed to watch them swim around in the pond. And I- Oh, I just remembered I sent you a video of that. Well, I’m telling you again because it bears repeating. One of these days when we move out of the city, we should get a bunch of animals or something. I think I’d make a good farmer. Or would that make us ranchers? Anyway, I’ll see you in a few. I love you!”

Felice’s phone. November 11th, 2029, 7:13am.

“Felice, we have an issue. I’ve been following this recipe you sent so closely but I’ve managed to screw it up. Why do my egg whites look like this? … I just remembered you can’t see them. I’ll text you a picture. They’re all grainy and weird, though. Are you busy right now? This would be so much easier if we could do this on FaceTime or something. I’d owe you big time. I guess call me when you wake up, if you can? Love you. Thanks in advance.”

Linda’s phone. October 20th, 2027, 5:32pm.

“Hi Linda! Simon and I are running a bit late. Someone had to spend an extra thirty minutes fixing his— Hey! I’m trying to explain to your mom why it’s not my fault we’re late! Sorry, Linda. We’ll be there soon, I promise. Simon is being very safe, though, and definitely not taking his hands off the wheel to try to steal my phone. I made some new cookies with a recipe Felice gave me, too. I’m excited for you to try them! You have to actually give me a sincere review this time. I appreciated all your kindness last time, but I want you to be brutally honest about these ones. Okay, we’re about five minutes out. See you soon!”

August’s phone. February 1st, 2034, 9:48pm.

“Hi, August. It’s Wille. I saw a short clip of the ceremony today. Sorry I couldn’t make it. Mamma seems confident in you, and I actually think you’ll do a good job. I’m not calling you ‘Your Royal Highness’, though… I wish you the best. Bye.”

Sara's phone. July 15th, 2025, 3:06pm.

“Okay, I grabbed what you said. I think— Oh, sorry. Hi. It’s Wille. You know that. Listen, I am worried he’s getting suspicious. I’m bad at keeping secrets from him, you know this. I still think no one should’ve told me and this party could’ve been a surprise for both of us. Sorry, rambling. I think I managed to find everything on the list. They only had two packs of purple balloons left, so hopefully 50 is enough. Oh! The cake looks awesome, too. Felice did a great job. He’s going to love it. Okay, I gotta go, he’s coming. See you— Hi Simon! … No, just a scam call. How—”

Kristina’s phone. September 5th, 2032, 6:11pm.

“Hi Mamma. I’m sorry I missed your call earlier. Things have been really busy over here. The movers showed up on time, thankfully, and everything went smoothly. We managed to get a lot unpacked already. Simon and I just had our first official dinner at our new kitchen table! Let me know when you and Pappa want to come visit. I’d say give us a few weeks to at least get the majority of the boxes cleared out. You’re going to love the view of the lake. It’s so beautiful, Mamma… I’m really happy here. Okay. Call me when you can… I love you. Say hi to Pappa.”

Erik’s phone. June 1st, 2026, 1:52am.

“Hi Erik. It’s your brother. Wille. Um… I graduated today. I didn’t end up finishing at Hillerska. It got shut down. You may actually know a little bit about why. I don’t want to talk about that… The past few years have been really tough, Erik. There are a lot more good days than bad ones now, but it still hurts every day. I miss you a lot. I hope you’ve forgiven me for stepping down from the throne. I think you have. You knew I never wanted it. I’m starting at uni in the fall, and Simon and I are going to live together. I’m really excited, actually. Normal life, and all that. Maybe I’ll even get a job. Imagine that. Former Crown-Prince working as a barista. Um, okay. I should probably get back to sleep. I’ll call again soon. I love you, big brother… Bye.”

[magic-is-something-we-create]

- 2024 Writing Roundup -

I don't think I usually do this but I decided it would be a fun thing to do each year to remind myself of how much progress I've made when it comes to creations of all kinds, so...

- THINGS I DID THIS YEAR -

Scrapped the second attempt at Goddess-Touched... and after reconfiguring the end of Echoseers, completed a full first draft of the third attempt, from start to finish!

Began drafting book 4, which is tentatively named Fateweavers (though i am thinking about calling it Paragon(s) instead for Lore Reasons)!

Made another full editing pass of Echoseers, (potentially 2, i can't remember for sure) to the point where it'll be given to beta readers who finished Firebreathers to help me debug it some time next year.

This is also the year I gave Whispers to beta readers! And while that happened at a time where many of them couldn't finish, I did get lots of really valuable feedback on the book as a whole!

I launched a whole webcomic! And as you're reading this, Chapter Two is now out for the public! The Lost has been a particularly interesting thing to work on, because of the blend of visuals and writing, and I can't wait to do more and explore where the story is headed!

Also related to art: I took a bunch of commissions, one of which was a series of promotional bookmarks for A Sharper, More Lasting Pain by Alex Harvey-Rivas @authoralexharvey which was my absolute favorite to work on this year, and not just because that book absolutely obliterated me emotionally. The entire illustration process was the coolest thing ever to do with Alex, and I'll forever be grateful to them for choosing me to do it <3

- MY NUMBERS THIS YEAR -

Because I myself sometimes get caught up in numbers in a Bad Way, this section's going to be behind the read more - I'm really proud of what I managed this year, though!

If you want to skip past the numbers, there will be another bolded section for my hopes/plans for next year, too!

So, for some context: Back in early September (I believe it was specifically on September 6th) I looked at my word count for the year on my habit tracker and realized I had written just under 80,000 words.

And then I did some math. And made the biggest commitment of consistency of my life.

Because I realized that if I consistently wrote just under 1k a day for the rest of the year, I would hit 200,000 words by new years eve.

I ended up hitting 200k on December 14th, and this year's total word count (as of the morning of December 30th, when I'm finishing up this post and filling in all the blanks), ended up being 213,000 words!

Some other fun numbers from this year:

I read a total of 16 books, and started 7 more (some of which are on pause due to not scratching my brain right)

I drew a total of 300 panels for The Lost (give or take about ten, depending on how you define panels), 186 of which were in chapter one, and 114 in chapter 2! In total, The Lost is now 40 pages long (25 and 15, respectively)!

The total word count for Goddess-Touched ended up being 126,000 words (or ~500 pages)

As of writing, Fateweavers is at just over 34,000 words so far

The rest of the remaining words were split between some personal projects, the script for The Lost, and some experimental things that ended up being cut from drafts as I went (but the words still got counted and still exist on my hard drive!)

I streamed for my Patrons 32 times this year, despite getting sick a few times and getting absolutely obliterated by the holiday season.

- MY HOPES/PLANS FOR 2025 -

I want to write the same amount I did in 2024 (which will be easier, knowing the goal from day one instead of day 249)

I also want to decide, once and for all, whether I want to go self pub, indie pub, or trad pub. If I go trad pub, I want to get at least one round of query letters out into the world by October, and if I go self pub, I want to have hired an editor by the end of the year to go through whichever book I decide to publish first.

I want to read at least the same amount of books, too! Ideally, I want to read 4 more, which is the goal I set for myself last year, but considering how tough it's been to consistently have time for reading my main goal is to just keep up the pace, because right now my TBR is actually shrinking a bit!

I also want to get to making youtube videos again! It's been a long time, and I doubt I'll have a consistent schedule, but I have a really cool idea for something I can do that might be fresh and fun for the niche I want to fill. I'll definitely keep everyone updated on that front as I get closer to making it a reality!

I want to make more time for personal art, because that fell by the wayside in favor of The Lost, this year. I can feel the art bug itching at me in a way that the comic isn't fulfilling, and I have to get it out somehow.

Overall, despite the State of the World being what it is, I'm hopeful and excited for my personal goals and life in the upcoming year!!

[tiarasnteakettles]

Time for a little controversy.

One thing I'm starting to realize is not everyone is like me. Not everyone reads a post fully for context, or pays attention to when and what and where. Most people don't assume that they don't know the entire picture when reading things online.

Worse still, sometimes they don't do these things simply because they would rather believe you're a bad person in some way.

I realize now that no matter how hard I work to be transparent, to show receipts, to prove I am not spending my money on dumb things. No matter how much I try to present as this perfect poor person who never takes a day off nor ever spends an unnecessary dime, people just don't care.

They will barely scan over your posts and make their negative assumptions because they WANT to. They don't care enough to read. To check other posts. To pay attention or investigate something. Or hell, to just ask. They are dedicated to viewing you as wrong, bad, lazy, or stupid and they don't want to make any effort to correct it.

The eureka moment here is that I'm tired of being a victim. I'm tired of being disrespected.

You think Patreon is just me sitting on my ass and begging for handouts while refusing to work a REAL job?

Fine.

You think I spend all my money on dumb shit and that's why I can't pay my bills?

Fine.

You think there's nothing wrong with me and I'm a fraud who doesn't want to work?

Fine.

I realize now that no matter how hard I try, there are still going to be people who don't care enough to understand a situation. They just don't.

If I do the things they think I do, they will hate me.

If I am the most frugal person you know, they will still hate me.

Nothing I do matters because these people will always think the worst of me anyways, so fuck it!!

I'm not staying home wallowing and wishing I was allowed to have nice things for myself anymore. I am no longer going to abstain so these people have no criticism. I'm getting criticized all the same.

So sure Jan, I'm always going to cons constantly.

I'm always taking vacations and buying things I don't need.

Whatever! Make that shit up and then choke on the turds.

Anyways, I'm not cancelling my trip. Fuck it. --

And just to be crass here's the fuckin link to chip in on my trip (if you want)

[featheredclover]

September Rain

Chapter One

Also on Wattpad

Read from the beginning

>Chapter Two

Her legs stretched out , still aching from the long walk she took. Resting her back against the wall, she looked out of the window.

Well it wasn’t really a window. Five bricks had fallen out and it had become a window for them.

Arnav had then talked about wabisabi, the beauty of imperfections. He talked so much about philosophy, it always made Khushi giggle.

“Scoot” 

She looked up to see her best friend, lightly drenched.

“Early rains?” She quipped.

“Guess, I was lucky” he shrugged.

Sitting beside her, he reached into his bag.

A fluorescent yellow flyer greeted her eyes.

“NK is throwing a party?!”

“Yes! He feels class 10 will be the turning point for him to become the life of Woodsmith’s underbelly”

“Underbelly?” She laughed.

“Aman agreed to let him do this?”

Arnav smiled with a gleam of a thousand secrets behind him.

“Aman was on board as soon as class 9 was invited”

She gasped, “Who?!”

“Naina Jha”

“Aah, I see. They both are very alike, you know. Quiet, sane and mature”

“Well, Aman believes love works best between similar people”

“Do you?” Khushi held her breath.

He looked at her. A moment too long.

“I don’t know “

“Hmm”

“So anyway, if you don’t come to our dorm tomorrow at 7, NK has threatened to hunt you down himself “ he said, amusement clouding his voice.

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” She shook her head.

His hand caught hers, entwining them together.

‘Calm the hell down!’, she screamed in her head as her heart raced.

“I feel like this is the last carefree year we have Khushi, “ Arnav said with a sigh.

A frown creased her forehead.

“You say that every year!”

He stifled a smile.

“Yes, but next year I am applying to be a sub-captain. Only then I’ll have a shot at becoming the head boy in 12th”

“It won’t be that bad, Arnav. No one is as good as you for the post!”

“That’s not true” he pursed his lips.

“Just take it a day at a time, you know we are all with you”

“Thanks Khush,” his eyes held a twinkle.

“For everything “

“Shut up okay!” She pushed his shoulder “I hate when you get all….sentimental “

“Well,somebody's gotta play that role here “

She stuck out her tongue at him.

“You are still set on just being the head of the clubs?” He asked.

“Yup! I have so much on my plate I can’t even think about the captaincy”

She glanced at Arnav.

“I guess, I’ll just have to be satisfied with being the wind beneath your wings”

She sang with a giggle.

Her smile dropped as he stared at her instead of cracking his usual joke.

He looked away with a smile.

“What?” She whispered.

“Nothing” he dismissed, the smile still plastered on his face.

————

The green roof became visible on the horizon, as Khushi hurried down the pebble filled path.

Her mind was too cloudy to pay attention to the plants as she usually did.

Her embarrassing little crush on Arnav was going to kill her one of these days.

She really didn’t know how or when it began. Who wasn’t fond of their best friend? But she never realised when those feelings tipped over! 

The worst was the dread that he would find out. Things would become awkward. She would lose him.

And that she definitely couldn’t afford.

“Khushi!”

She turned around to see Dhruv running towards her, his cricket kit slung over his shoulder.

“Well, well! Cricket, tennis, chess! Is there some sport you can’t play, Mr Iyer?” She smiled.

He laughed.

“What can I say Gupta, it’s what keeps me happy” he shrugged.

They walked towards their dorm, the street lamp lighting their path.

“Khushi you know I got selected for being a sub-captain this year”

“Of course “ she smiled warmly.

“Congratulations! Green house is super proud”

“Thanks, K! But I wanted to ask something of you…”

Khushi looked at Dhruv, who seemed hesitant, as he kicked away a pebble .

“Anything Dhruv, just name it!”

“I want you to support me,” 

His eyes wide as he waited for her to respond.

“What? What does that mean?”

“You are part of quite a few clubs, the teachers adore you….and I love to see you cheer for us”

She blushed.

“ I always cheer for the house”

“Yes, but Khushi, everyone will love it if the best of the house is there to cheer me. You know that there are four sub-captains right? If I have to outdo the candidates from the other three, I need crowd support in every match to impress the teachers”

“And you think I will bring the crowd?” She asked bewildered.

He grinned.

“That’s what I find so fascinating about you Khushi”

She gaped at him.

“That you are so unaware of your own power” he chuckled.

“Well…” Khushi paused as she reached the doors of the girl’s dorm.

She smiled, “Of course Dhruv, you can count on me”

Dhruv bowed dramatically.

“Forever grateful Miss Gupta” he winked before sprinting off towards the boy’s dorm.

Tagging: @arshifiesta

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Next chapter>>

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