#would this tech be lotr ?

[kin-squad-finder]

hey i recently kinfirmed Talion from Middle earth, shadow of mordor, and i was curios is there was anyone from said game, particually Hirgon, Loreth, Dirhael, and Celebrimbor (from the game cannon) im 15 so preferbely someone 13-19, but adults are fine to interact

feel free to message me @dragonslayer-arel

!

[tanoraqui]

In Which Space Orcs are Men

[AO3] A "what if humans are space orcs" take on Dagor Dagorath. (Aka the prophecied apocalypse of Middle Earth. Scifi story accessible to non-LotR nerds!)

Elves weren't really supposed to leave Earth. That's what they told us—the Elves, that is, told people thousands of years ago, when Elves could still be found here and there. When I was born, elves were nearly as much a fairy tale as they’d been on Ancient Earth.

Elves weren't supposed to leave Earth, the Elves said in the fairy tales, and in a few old scraps of records scattered around known space. They literally weren't made for it. They could only do it if they brought Earth with them—Arda they called it, leaves or dirt, water or a rare bubble of air, perfectly preserved in a white crystal. There are tons of tales about Elves losing their lifeline jewels—their hearts, their silimirs—and roping people into epic quests to get them back before they—the Elf—faded to nothingness. 

Even the jewels weren't enough, though. That's why there are also stories about Elves who fell in love with a person or a place and stayed there until they faded, or Elves who charmed someone into following them back to Fairyland on Earth...because whatever they said, Elves didn't really live on Earth. Humans have maintained their home planet as a monitored nature reserve since like the 40th century, open only to vetted research teams and serious Human religious pilgrimages. The most confirmed accounts of Elves that exist are of their ships appearing out of nowhere, with no trace of any tech that would enable it, at random, always-changing points within 100 miles or so of Earth.

Nobody ever came back from trying to follow Elves home. Mostly Elves tried to dissuade people from trying. But there are always crazy and curious people—and Elves usually attracted those, because any Elf who left the home they were "made" for was usually crazy and curious themselves. 

Those were the stories I grew up with. There was a cave near the orphans' creche which was supposed to be haunted by a faded Elf. I didn't really believe it—like I said, the last confirmed Elf was last seen like 5,000 years ago, and not even on my planet. People have met two dozen new sentient races since then. We've discovered that reincarnation is probably real (just functionally untrackable), prompting the Pan-Religious Reform Wars. The last person to see a live Elf was still traveling via natural wormholes—they literally didn't know that you could loop pi.

.

When the Human natal sun started to turn really red, it wasn’t that big a deal at first. It’s a very important, very sad event for any species, but it happens to everyone eventually. It happened to the Hectort just after we invented interstellar flight. There were some unusual gravatic waves around Earth’s Sol, but nothing worth noting to anyone who didn’t already care for personal reasons.

Then the Elves sent us a message.

The local Parks Service picked it up, of course. I bet the Humans meant to hush it up at first—though the Centaurian government still won’t admit anything—but someone leaked it immediately on the intergalactic net. It should’ve only been famous as a joke of a hoax, but…

It was basically just a metal box with rudimentary fire-thrusters soldered on the sides. It contained two things. The first was a recording/replaying device so antiquated that the only way they got it working is that it was already playing on loop, and didn’t stop until someone disconnected it from its power source.

The message was in Ancient Bouban, which some folklorist soon announced is the latest language an Elf could know, since the last known Elf went back to “Arda.” The voice somehow sounded melodic to every species with a concept of music, from the screeching Vesarians to the deep-sea sub-sonic Thinkers, even when translated through cheap, staticky speakers. And to most species, the speaker was audibly distraught.

They said,

This is the final message from the Firstborn of Eru to the Secondborn, and everyone else. The Battle of Battles has come, and we…are losing. If there are any who remember the ancient love and loyalty which bound our peoples, if there are any heirs remaining of Thargalax the Magnificent, of Nine-Fingered Frodo, of the noble Houses of Haleth, Hador and Beor—

The speaker drew a sharp breath, there.

—by great oaths and greater friendship I bid you now to raise your swords and ride to our aid. Ride as swiftly as you can!

We will hold for another year. We will, they said determinedly. After that, it is unlikely that…

Another, shakier breath. A smile forced into a voice which would rather weep.

Fëanáro and Nienna believe there is a way to destroy the Straight Road. If we must, if it comes to it, we will do so, and trap the First Enemy here in this dying world with us. Though I don’t know about—

Hair-aristocrat! a more distant, slightly less perfectly melodious voice called, in a language so dead that they needed computers to decode it. The walls are falling, we need to go!

If you never hear from us again, and no sudden discord arises among you, you will know we succeeded, the first speaker said quickly. If otherwise…I am sorry. Either way, I bid you all only, remember us! Oh beautiful flames, remember us, as we have ever remembered y— 

There was a sudden screech of tearing metal, a defiant, musical battle-cry, and a jarring silence. Then the message restarted.

And that wasn’t even the strangest thing in the box. The strangest thing was the recorder’s power source, which was powering the whole tiny rocket mechanism as well. It was an Elf-jewel right out of a fairy tale, a fist-sized, translucent not-quite-diamond—but instead of rock or water or a much-loved scrap of plant, the only thing it held was light.

...Kind of. It isn’t normal light. It arguably isn’t light at all, as we know it—scientists now think it’s technically some sort of plasmoid aether, except it only acts like a plasmoid aether about half the time. 

It has no detectable source within the jewel. It fully illuminates whatever space it’s in, no matter how big. Its visible radiation is a frequency, the scientists say, that matches a hyper-accelerated version of what the universe must’ve sounded like in the split second after the Big Bang.

It makes people remember things, when they see it in person or sometimes even across a holo. Some remember a similar light in a strange traveler’s eyes. Others, dreamily enchanted valleys where spring never faded, or tall castles, bright swords, and stern and glorious lords and ladies. And some of us got hit with a whole lifetime of memories in one go: an identical gem on the brow of a sober forest king, friends who slipped through trees like shadows save for their merry laughter, an impossibly beautiful gold-haired maiden dancing in a glittering cavern...

(And all the pain and loss that came with them.)

And some people just remember the sight of a distant star—in another world, in another lifetime.

Reincarnation was provable but untraceable…until now. 

The Thinker ambassador on Astrolax Station 5 was the first to kick up a fuss. Most Thinkers never leave their home planet, they're too huge and aquatic. But like I said, there's always crazy and curious people. The ambassador started bellowing the second che heard the message, without even seeing the light, because, "I know him! My Wisdom! We must send aid!" That made some news, and random other people shared their own, less dramatic revelations, and soon a compilation swept the net with timestamps showing that most of them were organically independent, not just jumping on the bandwagon….

Even that might've gotten written off intergalactically. The Thinkers are big in reincarnationist circles, on account of how they claim that deep in their planetary ocean they can hear echoes of their past lives. But being mostly planet-bound means they're not really influential on a big political level. Or it would've sparked another surge of the Reform Wars, and everybody would've remembered the rock, but not the recording. Or there would’ve been a fight over this potentially infinite energy source (though that is so last giga-annum)….

But first it was shown in person to the current Director of the Admiralty of the Astral Alliance, President of the X-ee Empire and Matron of the House of S,sh, Ch’ees/i’i S,sh. I was actually there—I was Captain of her ceremonial Alliance guards, in a last-ditch attempt to salvage my career after Zanzibus. Very ceremonial, considering the X-eee have laser-proof shells and pincers and I have, what, opposable thumbs? Vestigial tusks?

I wasn’t paying attention at first, too busy being suddenly assaulted by all my own memories. So I missed the President freezing mid-step and gasping (in X-eee), “Mother.” I also missed her rising alarm call of an attempt to speak Ancient Elvish without an Elvish tongue or lips.

I sure didn’t miss her snap back to X-eee for a sharp call to attention, and everything that followed: the call to arms! The rousing of the Alliance! A tour of the galaxy, to find anyone and everyone else in whom the Light could awaken ancient memories! And for the love of X'eeh, why had nobody figured out how to get back to Fairyland with this thing yet, and every warship in the quadrant?!

If I believed in the One Behind, or in any other creator god or gods—I'm not saying I do, but if I did, if there really is something out there all-powerful and all-kind—then it'd be because out of every soul in the entire universe, the probably one in the best position to act on the Elves' message turned out to have, from a past life, two parents and a much-loved twin still in Fairyland. Like, that's insane, right?

I stayed with the Director's ceremonial guards for the whole tour, actually more than ceremonial for once—it was the weirdest mission of my life, and I've been on a lot of weird missions. Or supposedly routine missions that got weird (and usually disastrous). My friends joke that I'm cursed. S,sh requisitioned an Inquiry-class ship, so the science boffins could study the Light and jewel along the way, and we started wormholing at weft speed, hitting a new planet every week. Sometimes every day. In each major spaceport and ground-city, S,sh stood with the jewel on the highest available point and gave a recruitment speech for going to save the Elves and fight the oldest enemy of all reality. 

Honestly, it seemed a little redundant? The Astral Alliance was made for this sort of rescue mission (and for escorting trade convoys). But I was...if not happy, then sure as hell more self-certain with my ancient memories restored, and most people who joined up seemed to agree. It was mostly people who remembered, when exposed to the Light, who joined—so before long, we had a whole tag-along trail of mostly civilian ships, trying to get up to Alliance Fleet standard on the road in less than a year.

Three different religious sects tried to kill S,sh for "profaning the mysteries." Five others tried to steal the jewel because we were apparently appropriating a holy object. The boffins announced that, bar the can't-prove-a-negative possibility, the evidently sourceless Light should be counted as an infinite energy source, and at least seven different groups, ruthless financiers and sustainability idealists, immediately tried to steal it for that. And I still don't know what the rival thief-queens of Likkiliani were about, except that I got tied up upside-down from a palmdar tree for two hours trying to stop one, the other paid me 700 cron then threw me off a cliff, and in the end they recognized each other from past lives and just made out on worldwide live-holo before joining our growing fleet. 

It turned out they were the Director's past life's great-grandparents, and a Canid pop princess was her niece. The Thinker ambassador was some sort of ancestor, too. Crazy extended family. 

Most people who remember just remember the sight of a star in the sky. A buddy of mine from Fleet Academy remembered looking up at it as a Human sailor. The historians—and you’d better bet we picked up some Earther historians on this mission as well!—say this jewel or one like it was probably astrologically conflated with the planet Venus by early Humans.

(The more time I spent around the jewel, the Silmaril, the more I remembered, of my first life and more. Lifetime after lifetime with bad luck dogging my steps, killing loved ones in my arms, destroying cities I was supposed to save… One restless, haunted night, I met a Rigilic in the cafeteria who’d been awake with some of the same nightmares, who’d been my dead older sister once.)

The tour was cut short when word came from the Earth system that there was a black hole growing in the center of their reddening sun. 

No, the sun wasn’t compressing into a black hole millennia ahead of schedule—one had just spontaneously manifested within it, like it’d teleported in. No, not literally—that was impossible. We were pretty sure. No, the sun wasn’t falling into it…somehow. Yet. The black hole was only 17 quectometers wide, but it was growing at an erratic but unceasing rate. If their best estimation of the pattern held, it would consume the sun 2 months before the Elves’ deadline, and the Earth 4 to 950 minutes later.

We pulled back to Earth—well, to the dwarf planet Eros, on the edges of Earth’s star system. That’s where the nearest shipyard of any note was, and we were gathering the whole Astral Alliance. This is exactly the sort of thing the Alliance is for. 

I was released back to ship duty. Zanzibus was still a black mark on my record, as was Jorab, and really everything on the AAS Endeavor…and that thing in third year of Fleet Academy… But no matter how bad my curse, I was an experienced captain and one of the best pilots in the Alliance. For this, we needed all the best.

The boffins had pretty quickly mastered limited manipulation of the Light, using modified aetheric resonators, and every day they came up with something new for us to test. They focused the Light into a laser cannon like no one has seen before. They laced it through plasma shields until a fully shielded ship glowed like a distant star. They managed to nearly replicate the Silmaril’s crystalline structure, so they could make “copies” that shone like the original for first a few hours; then, with refinement, a full week…

The one thing they couldn’t pin down with any real confidence was how to get to Fairyland. The frequency of the Light resonated with large bodies of Earther saltwater in a particular way, and models suggested that if the Light source moved horizontally along the water within a certain range of distance and velocity, the resonance would create a wormhole-like ripple in space—but wormhole-like, was the key word, and models suggested. The closest anyone had seen to that spatial distortion was in a logbook of dubious veracity from the Delta Quadrant, four hundred years ago. Alteia, my Academy buddy who’d been a Human sailor, took the Silmaril in an M-wing on a series of highly monitored test flights above the Atlantic Ocean, and space did repeatedly start to hollow in front of bom—so bo had to stop every time, rather than risk vanishing with our single, maybe-one-way ticket.

Then Earth’s moon stopped shining in the sky. Its albedo just dropped nearly to zero, from one night to the next. There was nothing wrong that anyone could figure out—nothing with the orbit, nothing with the surface rock, nothing with the artificial atmosphere. Inhabitants reported feeling colder by several degrees, but no measuring equipment recorded anything.

The black hole slightly off-center in the middle of Sol was now 844.9 zeptometers, and growing more steadily.

We didn’t have time to keep testing. We needed to raise our swords and make our ride, even if we only got one shot at it.

I was given command, for seniority, skill, and because I was the one who managed to talk S,sh out of leading the fleet herself. (If my lives had taught me anything, it was the importance of having someone, anyone, ready to be emergency backup.) Ironically, I was back on the Endeavor, with most of my old crew—though we got permission to rename the ship, in honor of the mission. A lot of people did. Alteia was now commanding the AAS Elendil on my right flank, star-friend in Ancient Elvish. That Canid pop princess had taken over a hospital ship and renamed it Rivendell. An Earth Park Ranger, of all things, remembered being my dad—briefly—and he was leading the Rangers plus my Rigilic drinking buddy on the EPSS Elfsheen. 

We weren’t sure if any ship but the one with the Silmaril would get through. The fleet numbered in the hundreds in battleships alone, not counting scouts and scuttlers. Twelve races had sent ships on top of their typical Alliance Fleet tithe, and S,sh had brought about half the full force of the X-ee Empire. We all just locked tractor beams and hoped. 

I was piloting as well as captaining, with the Silmaril between my forehorns. It was held in place by about a dozen wires and other connectors to the ship, like an old-timey pilot’s headset. We took off in orbit around Earth, as close as possible to the surface—not very close, in warships of Class S and higher, but within range of the oceanic resonance. A Likkilianian thief-queen stood at my shoulder, ready to advise if anything “Musical” started to happen.

Think about what you’re trying to get to, and why, the boffins had advised, so I did—bright-eyed kings and dancing maidens; lost friends, families, cities, planets and all. The jewel got warmer against my skin and shone brighter with every pulse of the engine, brighter than we should’ve been able to see through.

The silver-gold Light twisted and diffused as space did around us. But there was no familiar rippling wormhole boundary—instead, spacetime thinned to a curtain like driving rain, like Vesarian silver-glass.

A ghost appeared next to me. She looked like the oldest, grumpiest writing teacher at the crèche, though I knew that was only in my head.

“There you are,” she said, impatient and relieved like I’d been hiding in the sandbox again, rather than coming to class on time. Her sewing scissors went snip snip snip as she darted them around my body—and a chain on my soul faded into guiding threads.

Before she’d even disappeared again, I punched the engine and blasted through the silver-glass curtain.

Fairy tales said there’d be a peerlessly beautiful land on the other side, green with eternal spring, full of endless light and laughter. They said there’d be sunlit shores and shimmering waves, with welcoming docks for sea-ships, sky-ships and space-ships all…

We flew into the worst battlefield I’d ever seen, in any lifetime. It was more desperately vicious than Jerusalem V at the height of the Reform Wars, more ruined than Glaurung’s wake, more desolate than Zanzibus after the nuclears fell.

Either a massive supercontinent or a small moon had been shattered, leaving nothing but a roiling debris field. The brand-new meteoroids ranged from pebbles to rocks the size of a small space station, and included space-frozen corpses, forests, and what might have once been city blocks.

I gave the helm back to my Pilot Officer—zer had, I can admit, slightly better reflexes for dodging debris—and focused on captaining.

Most of the life signs were clinging to the larger rocks. There shouldn’t have been atmosphere for them, but walls of thunderstorm wrapped around every shard with even a single life sign—wind and water desperately hand in hand to safeguard the last of the Elves. The only thing visible through the impossible storms was the Light of a second Silmaril, on a meteoroid shaped like half a broken eggshell.

A corpse lay at the epicenter of the explosion—what might’ve been a corpse, if it wasn’t also shattered. The broken pieces of a massive stone humanoid, taller than my ship if it’d stood beside her, still bleeding lava so hot that it burned even in frozen space. Another titan knelt at the shards of its head, a figure of towering bark and leaves, wailing with grief even worse than the end of the world. 

A slimmer tree-woman stood with one hand on her shoulder, comforting, and the other wielding a skyscraper-sized club spiked with incandescent wildflowers. Guarding her sister’s heartbreak, she fended off a swarm of bat-sized monsters with wings of darkness and whips of flame. 

Bat-sized relative to the gods of Elves and ancient Humans. About the size of an M-wing, in flight.

Countless more of the bat-things flung themselves at the storm-bubbles, like carnivores chasing the prey hidden inside. They were fended off by an equal army of creatures with wings of light and swords of lightning, led by a towering figure who seemed to dance from one bloody battle to the next.

The biggest battle by far was the farthest away, over where the sun had been. In this dimension of stories over science, Sol was another woman-shape, smaller than the others but burning just as brightly as her star. Also just as blood-red. The light was centered on a fist she kept clenched at her chest, and instead of containing the black hole, the unseeable thing that it was here surrounded her, striking at her with a thousand hungry jaws and grasping legs, and she had only a one-handed whip of a solar flare to fend it off—

But she didn’t fight alone. A warrior tore at the Darkness’s spidery limbs with his fists, image on the cameras flickering impossibly between every hero I’d ever heard of. A snarling figure bit at it with jagged teeth, gored it with horns, shredded it with claws and talons, and generally made every ancient prey-instinct in me scream. And a queen with a crown of stars, a shield like the night sky and a sword like a streaking comet, stood dauntlessly at the sun-holder’s side. 

With all that, and with the speed of even her most exhausted strikes, I thought the sun-holder could probably have gotten away if she’d tried. But I knew how a person fought when they weren’t willing to leave a friend, and a smaller, silver figure lay at her feet, unmoving and drained of light.

But even the battle for the sun wasn’t what grabbed my eye. No—all my attention, all my guiding threads of fate and the quick temper that always used to get me in trouble, before (and sometimes after) I learned to leash it in an Alliance uniform— All of that took me straight to the fight happening orthogonal to the stone giant’s corpse.

It was another one-versus-many. Morgoth, the First Enemy of Elves and Men— Master of Lies, Maker of Chains, Sonofabitch Curser of Bloodlines—towered over even his fellow gods. His shape changed constantly, sickeningly, but it was always black-armored with eyes like dying stars that hated you personally. His maul dripped with lava and every other kind of blood.

He fought against three great gray figures who moved as one. The tallest wielded a star-studded scythe with swift, efficient strokes, and wore the dark gray of corpse-shrouds. The shortest shimmered with more colors than even a Stamotapadon could dream of, and his weapon shifted likewise. The third was the clear, clean gray of skies after rain or tears run dry, and fought with only a shield—and hit harder with it than either of her brothers.

Around their heads darted the only Elves on the battlefield, in small fliers more like sea-ships than aircraft. But they moved fluidly, pestering the Dark Lord like flies, pricking his skin and threatening his burning eyes.

Until Morgoth swung his maul with a roar of fury that traveled even though soundless space. My ship and heart both shuddered. The gray gods all staggered back, and the Elves fell from the no-longer-sky—all but their leader, more fire than flesh, who wore the third Silmaril. Morgoth caught him in one massive black hand and with sharp claws plucked the jewel away, as easily as a ripe berry from a tree—

“All power to fore-cannon and fire,” I ordered—and the jewel on my brow shone bright again as several stored months’ worth of infinite Silmaril-Light slammed into Morgoth’s chest with all the force that the best scientists in the Astral Alliance could engineer. 

He stumbled. He dropped both the jewel and the elf-king (who’d been trying to bite him). The Lady of Mercy tossed her shield to catch them, staying low and out of sight—though she needn’t have bothered. The so-called “Lord of All” had already found his next enemy.

“All ships, move forward and join shields,” I ordered, and met his burning stare though the viewscreen. “Then broadcast me on all external frequencies.”

The wires on my forehead shimmered as we shifted Light-flow to the shields—and to my right, so did the Elendil, and to my left, the Cosmian Blade, and all around us the Minas Tirith, the Elfsheen, the Muse, the Rivendell, the Heart of Zanzi, the Longbottom Leaf… They were still soaring out of the silvery distortion behind me, tractor- and Silmaril-towed: sleek Rigilic eels-of-prey and Centaurian cruisers full of Humans eager to fight for their homeworld, Betan mine-ships and Canid X-M-wings and my own Hectoan starlighters, a full third of the X-ee navy with their X-eee–shaped six-engine dreadnoughts, and hundreds more. 

“This is Captain Pel Cinia, once Túrin Turambar, of the Astral Alliance ship Gurthang,” I said. My words were broadcast from every ship on every frequency in every language that the people of Arda might know, as the Fleet assembled from forty-plus different worlds flew into position. Our Light-infused shields blazed and locked together, until we formed a seamless wall right in the Enemy’s face, with the Elves and their other allies safely behind us.

I’ve never felt more proud to recite the most cliché line in the Fleet:

“We got your distress call. We’re here to help.”

[stars-n-spice]

Crosshair + his crush on Aragorn Pt. 3

A bunch of comics that are a continuation of this comic about Crosshair finding out about LOTR for the first time with Tech, Echo, and Omega.

Because I love projecting on my favorites and because I think that Crosshair would fall utterly in love with Aragorn because 1) he's got that rugged look about him but 2) he's loyal as FUCK. I mean,, I don't blame him-

Part 1 // Part 2

Anywho, enjoy!

How Crosshair got banned from LOTR Movie Nights:

Movie: He's one of them Rangers...Dangerous folk they are...wandering the wilds. Crosshair: I'd let him wander my "wilds".

(this is pulled directly from something my younger brother said during a rewatch and the Batch's reactions are exactly how my siblings and I all reacted)

To the End - aka the moment Crosshair falls in love

Aragorn: I would have gone with you to the end. To the very fires of Mordor... *LIVE CROSS REACTION: Crosshair, internally: 🎶 Whatta man whattaman what a might good man🎶

This scene gets me all the fucking time. I think about it and cry. That loyalty?? Fucking hot as hell.

"Suggestions" - Sharpshooters Movie Night

Crosshair: You should grow a beard. Tay: ?

Modern AU Tay! Whether or not he has the genes to grow a beard remains to be seen...

Rewind:

Tech: Can you stop rewinding it?! We've seen this scene 15 times! Crosshair: No. Shut the fuck up.

Me too Crosshair, me too. From that day on, Tech refuses to watch LOTR with Crosshair-

Cosplay:

Hunter: Why are you dressed like that? Crosshair: Like what? Hunter: ...nevermind. Wrecker: Looks good!

Crosshair asked Echo to sew it together for him. If you ask him, he's better than Arwen. But that's just his opinion.

Caught Red-Handed:

Crosshair *in Elvish*: Do you like men? Tech: Are you trying to learn ELVISH?! Crosshair: NO!! I'm watching porn! Get out of my room! Tech: We share a room...

no idea how accurate the translation is so don't come for me-

Pastimes:

Crosshair: Did you know Aragorn is canonically 6'6? Tay: No, but did you know I'm 6'6? Crosshair: Shut up, I'm reading.

Crosshair is "borrowing" the book from Tech (he took it without telling him). Tay has competition. The teasing is all in good fun though, Tay doesn't mind competing against Aragon. Crosshair enjoys playing with Tay's hair.

They have a type:

They have a type. What can I say?

Also,, used a picture of my own Aragorn shirt that I have and love for Cross' shirt :)

[varusai]

⭐️Get to know your mutuals⭐️

⭐️ Tagged by @elvenmoans

this took me forever to fill out i kept forgetting it in my drafts. oops😔

⭐️ What's the origin of your blog title?

blog title: ☆ ฅ^•⩊•^ฅ ☆

i was looking at a big ass list of japanese emoticons, don't even remember the specific one i was looking for, but came across this one ฅ^•⩊•^ฅ and???? hello??? its so cute???

i never know what to title my stupid blog so i just put that there because it makes me happy to see her.

⭐️ OTP(s)+ shipnames(s):

i’m on the oc shipping train rn but for regular non oc ships we got

moonsea tyrants (manshoon/ fzoul) - the forgotten realms

gideon/harrow/ianthe (any combo) - the locked tomb

farcille (falin/marcille) - dungeon meshi

durgetash (the dark urge/enver gortash) - bg3 (only default hot white dragonborn durge tho, i don’t care about any of that custom character shit)

scar/lex - AVP (i’m having my annual resurgence of this ancient fixation. it will pass soon)

⭐️ Favourite color:

black, but since a lot of ppl consider this a non answer/cop out, purple. i have a particular soft spot for ultraviolet purple.

⭐️ Song stuck in your head:

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

i heard it on the radio yesterday after not hearing it for a long time and now its stuck

⭐️ Weirdest habit/trait:

i think this is more of a question that one would need to direct outward, not self-assign. like i talk to myself and consider that both find and normal what the fuck do i know about what counts as a weird habit lol

⭐️ Hobbies:

mainly playing dnd right now. playing dnd and thinking about The Characters. i also write and draw sometimes. i just never finish anything. I’ve also been reading a lot more this year, which has been nice. and I do/learn math for fun, but idk if that counts as a hobby? i'm gonna count it because i do it often enough.

⭐️ If you work, what's your profession?

i got some chronic conditions during covid and was fucked up and disabled for a while in addition to being really depressed. i'm on meds now and its getting a little better but now the job market is fucked so i don't have a job job rn and i just do gig work and temp jobs when i run out of money. usually admin, tech support, tutoring, or doordash. kinda just depends on what comes up.

⭐️ If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

tbh i kinda already had my dream job? i was a physicist doing research on planet formation. undergraduate level, but it was a paid position so technically i made it. i do hope to go back to it one day when i'm not mentally and physically fucked up, but considering the state of the world now def doesn't seem like the time. unfortunately.

⭐️ Something you're good at:

befriending cats. i’ve literally never met a cat that didn’t like me. even stray cats. i’d like to think i’m pretty good at art too.

⭐️ Something you hate:

capitalism. i also hate driving, temperatures higher than 80F, and the human head, neck, back, and nervous system. mine specifically.

⭐️ Something you collect:

pens and notebooks/office supplies. which was fine when i was in school/doing research/teaching but after??? i would have ended up in some trouble space wise if i hadn't started playing dnd lol. now i can use my stuff again for my notes/game binder :3

i also collect dnd dice sets✨

⭐️ Something you forget:

i'll forget anything that you can ask me a question about out of nowhere. my brain is never stupider than when i'm put on the spot😔

⭐️ What's your love language:

talk to me about something that i'm obsessed with. especially like fic/character/dnd/oc worldbuilding. and especially if we're working on it together. if you can get to this stage you're prob in for life.

⭐️ Favourite movie/show:

The Thing (1982) is my favorite movie ever i watch it literally all the time.

big shout out to the Alien franchise and LotR tho they're tight runners up.

my fav show fluctuates a lot more, but i gotta say just based on rewatch value How Its Made takes it easily.

⭐️ Favourite food:

panda express orange chicken and chow mein combo with crab rangoons, that exact order

⭐️ Favourite animal:

cats or seals! literally two of the cutest animals to exist.

⭐️ What were you like as a child:

undiagnosed and strange

⭐️ Favourite subject at school:

science! i literally took every science class my small town high school had and was still losing my mind

⭐️ Least favourite subject:

government & economics.

yawnnnn

⭐️ What's your best character trait?

knowledge seeking & creative.

⭐️ What's your worst character trait?

asocial & irritable

⭐️ If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

add about 3 to 4 more zeros to my bank account balance

⭐️ Tagging: @twilight-alchemist @sunnidaydreamer @voxiferous @sunsetfields @zarnitza @darkeecofreak @shadow-djinni @overcaffeinated-paranoia @roosterzebra @inadvisablyappliedmagic @bi-colored-corn @revasnaslan @a-la-orilla-del-rio @minigenos

i know a lot of y’all already but its still fun lol

[fictionalmenjusthitdifferent]

Thank you for the tags! @lady-of-imladris & @vellichormybeloved

Tagging the besties (no pressure ofc): @curiouselleth @clone-captain-spark @freesia-writes @marymunchkiin

[distinguisheddwarffriend]

Guys guys GUYS!!!

Somebody HELP me!

My BRAIN won't stop throwing ideas at me!

Today:

Tony Stark in Middle Earth (a few years before either The Hobbit or LotR)

I have absolutely zero idea about any of the tech stuff I'd like to include/ read about and would have to research way too much and it would turn out way too long because I'm that detail-obsessed

I know that I'll never write it because

I already:

-have 1 fic to write for my claim with the @tolkienrsb

-a treat to write for the very same event

- two LONG fics in the works that are unposted (one is Frerin-centric & the other Fili-centric inspired by Sansukh by @determamfidd )

-three(!) ongoing WIPs on Ao3

-notes for 1 crack MGiME fic & for one Opus Magnus that I'm probably going to turn into an original work even though it began as a fanfic

I ALSO have:

-crumbling& chronic depression

-chronic pain

-chronic fatique symdrom

-acute ouchies in my back and right hand

- no FUCKING ENERGY or motivation to get. shit. done.

So, let's just hope that Tumblr does its magic & at any point in the future someone thinks "yeah, I'll write that" & I get to read it in my lifetime.

I'll go scream into my pillow now.

[fandom-shitposter]

Corporate entities hate fanmade works and would love nothing more than to get them shut down entirely

They hate that there are people out there using their characters and their settings and having fun with them without having to pay them for the priviledge

But as long as fans aren't making money out of their IP they can currently get away with it. But we've recently seen a crackdown on people selling t-shirt designs, stickers, etc which violate this

So what can they do to try to firm up the laws on this, to get them to fall more in their favour?

Would writing their own fanfic and turning it into a show that they're making lots of money from be enough to do that, for them to sell merchandise and profit from someone else's IP without asking or paying for the use of it?

For it to maybe go to court for a very public fight over who can do what with a property they're a fan of?

Because that could well be what Disney is currently up to with their Star Wars shows

Not just making a few references to other movies or tv shows, but taking entire plotlines, blurring the edges of them, and dropping them right into their own shows

Want an example even if it risks containing show spoilers? of course you do!

Back in Season 7 of The Clone Wars (On the Wings of Keeradaks) we have a scene where Tech uses a recording of the flying lizards they encounted earlier to call them to their position and fly them out of danger

Just like Gandalf summons the eagles to come and rescue his party from the attack from Azog and his team of orcs and wargs, right down to the way some party members are left dangling over a huge drop off the mountainside

Later, in The Bad Batch (Reunion, S1), Hunter has been shot in the chest and Tech gets him up, gets him to safety, and (offscreen) medical aid is provided

Which is extremely close to that same rescue scene in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, only the part of it where Gandalf gets Thorin up and out of danger, with the assistance of the eagles, after he's been severly mauled by a warg, and then rendering medical assistance to him

Tech goes on to have a big fall (Plan 99, Bad Batch, S2), right off the end of a great big crumbling bridge. Sound familiar to any LotR fans?

And in a different episode (The Crossing, Bad Batch, S2) Tech is seen falling and landing in a similarly super familiar looking cave

Which repeats parts of the two separate scenes of Gandalf falling and 'dying' ('The Fellowship of the Ring' for the fall, and 'The Two Towers' for the cave scene) which all the characters get really sad about - until he gets better and comes back. Which has yet to be seen in Tech's case. (How Tech will be able to come back from his fall despite not being a wizard is explained via his character specific movie source they've made repeated use of, but since that's still hugely spoilery I'm not getting into that here)

And this is only a couple of examples of one tiny instance where this is happening, the show is filled with them and it applies to all the main characters not just Techdalf

'Entombed' (The Bad Batch, S2) hits The Hobbit up HARD for it's plot and not only gives us the Arkenstone but oblong, which it directly names as The Heart of the Mountain, which is found and then lost again, but dredges up a fire breathing dragon equivalent. Add in some additional Alien themeing and a lizardy creature that can be shot in the chest with a laser arrow before being tossed out of a window in full on 'OMG it's Ripley with the airlock' style and they're really cramming it in there. They end with a reference to an opportunity to find a golden chalice, which is what Bilbo took from Samug's hoarde as proof that he'd found it But people have been easily sidelined from thinking about any of this too hard by them throwing in a handful of surface references to Indiana Jones, the potential of a love interest being developed, and the 'dragon' being a creature previously seen in the Jedi: Fallen Order video game

And don't even get me started on how Senator Avi Singh appears to live in Dale (Common Ground, Bad Batch, S1), Roland and Isa Durand apparently live in Rohan (Paths Unknown, Bad Batch, S3) or Dr Hemlock and his former base at Dol Guldur (Paths Unknown, The Bad Batch, S3) and what that implies for the remainder of the show

They've blended together a lot of canon prequel & clone wars era Star Wars content with a range of supplementary non-canon SW content such a comic books, video games, Legends novels, etc which maintains the idea that this show is nothing more than Star Wars and keeps a lot of long term fans happy and distracted by seeing non-canon things finally appearing in a canon setting, even if they have changed some of the details

But so many concepts and images have been lifted barely altered from their original sources, not just from Tolkein's works, and just slapped down like we're not supposed to notice how much of it there actually is because they've made the animation and lighting so very very pretty

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

I don’t think we appreciate enough how long the years of the trees + the ages of the sun were.

Like, from the moment the elves awakened to the end of the third age, you have over 10000 years, and you’re telling me they stayed in the middle ages technologically wise for about 9000 of those years?

Even the humans, from when they awoke, have been around for about 7000 years (estimated) AND they were caught up to speed by the elves fairly quickly society and technology wise and then they just.. what? Stayed as static as the elves ever since?

Bc humans would absolutely technologically innovate a lot faster than elves bc they’re mortal, and that imminent death would absolutely drive them.

What i’m saying is: either give me technology/fantasy tech in lotr or give me death.

It doesn’t even have to be cold metal boxes that go zapzap, something in-tuned to nature or magic rocks, idk.

You’re telling me they haven’t found a way to somehow insta message each other over the thousands of years in which letter mailing has existed, and thus also proven to be easily stolen and used as blackmail/stolen information.

Our society isn’t even 2000 years away from the middle ages, and you’re telling me those humans in tolkien put themselves on pause for 6 almost 7 thousand of years???

[the-tenth-arcanum]

9 people you'd like to get to know better

(lys sorry I re-liked your post a dozen times I was trying to keep it on top of my 2k liked posts otherwise I would never see it again. and then I got stuck on the very first question and I kept putting this off. but I'm doing this now! everybody clap)

tagged: @malinaa

tagging: @centurieslove | @fairyhagmother | @flowersandfashion | @tuttocenere | @herstarlight |

@stormsouls | @mayapleiades | @courtjestermerlin | @godmerlin

three non romantic duos:

Sam & Frodo! Who did it like them! "Don't go where I can't follow!" "Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam"! And other such hits. Crazy. To be honest there's a few non romantic duos from LOTR that I could pick but I love Sam Gamgee to death so I'm going with these two. Three hurrahs for borderline homoerotic devotion

2. Jen & Jack (Dawson's Creek). Dating myself here but I was obsessed with this teen drama as a teen. I've not really rewatched it since then because I'm afraid it will not live up to my nostalgic memories (though to be fair it started sucking so badly around S5 that I dropped it at the time and only tuned back in for the last episode lol). Anyway is there anything more beautiful than the friendship between a gay guy and his fag hag bestie? They were the cutest I love them both so much. I love how this show was so consistent in the way it portrayed their friendship. they were ride or die. I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

3. Gaius & Merlin (lol). Okay I agonised over the last one but I couldn’t think of a better duo (sorry women 😔). I'm sure there are others I can't remember right now, but I do love them to be honest so why not them. I might have mentioned it before on my side blog but their relationship is probably my favourite in the show. I like the Chosen Family trope, okay? And I love that their relationship was important, in the show. They care so much about each other and it comes up time and time again. And their dynamic is fascinating, they're so similar in some ways and completely different in others. Immovable object vs unstoppable force. Thick as thieves, a pair of liars. As I once said—they lie so much, to other people, to themselves and to each other. And I think that's beautiful. Grey morality ❤

a ship that might surprise others: can't think of any tbh. I'm sure there are fics I've read that might surprise others, but only because I do check out a bit of everything if the premise sounds interesting enough to me, even with ships that are a bit out there. I don't really count that as shipping though.

last song: 80s medley I need to learn for my choir

last film: I don't really watch films anymore tbh 😭 I think the last one was when my aunt came to visit me last month—How Do You Know, which she chose because Paul Rudd was in it and it's probably the only reason to ever watch this film.

currently reading: Bliss & Blunder!! "A modern reworking of Arthurian legend". Or, the one where King Arthur is a tech bro. I'm enjoying it actually! (Nell if you're reading this I'll post some thoughts soon.ish. but I'm not even halfway through)

currently watching: nothing? I started Wolf Hall but I've watched less than half an episode over three lunch breaks and then I gave up for now because I'm meant to read a book and I can only focus on one (1) thing at the time apparently. but I might resume watching it at some point

currently consuming: nothing. hashtag minimalism

currently craving: local close friends so we can go out for a coffee and a chat 😔

[photogirl894]

If you could get to know and/or write with another writer (or more) who would it be?

Aw man, that really is a tough one! There are so many talented writers on here! That and I've gotten to know quite a few!

I definitely would love to write something with @lizartgurl sometime! She and I discussed LotR/Bad Batch crossover before and it really got my wheels turning! That would be fun!

I would love to get to know @freesia-writes , @rosechi and @the-bad-batch-baroness more! We've chatted a few times, but I feel like it's not enough 😜 (that's partially on me lol)

@darthzero22 , @scarlettrose9901 , @l-lend , @moonstrider9904 , @ilikemymendarkandfictional , @nimata-beroya , @techs-stitches , @nahoney22 , @kaminocasey , @zoeykallus , @fantasyproductions , @im-no-jedi and @dragonrider9905 are some of the most amazing writers I know and I consider them all my dearest friends! I'm grateful for them 💜 If I missed anyone, I apologize, but know I'm grateful for you, too!

[maguneedsalife]

i reflect often about how when i was growing up i thought that one day i would reach a "grown up" age and would then give up my hobbies/fandoms/things i loved, and become normal and boring (undertone: like my parents who are both financial advisors).

but the thing i now realize as an adult, who has adult conversations with my parents, is that i only got the impression that they "gave up" their childhood fandoms when they "grew up" because their expressions of fandom didn't 1:1 match with what was familiar to me, or how i expressed my fandom.

like it turns out my mom wrote her honors' thesis on the wizard of oz, and has a little display of oz merch and books (and ofc she loves wicked! has a signed copy even!). she is also a disney girlie (who actually worked at disney for a few years!!) and kept all our old disney toys after we decided to move on from them, bc she loves disney and wanted to keep them. she and my dad were also both into star trek (there is a picture of her somewhere wearing spock ears to a party). and of course she also loves lord of the rings, and still kept the LOTR books she read as a kid. i remember her fangirling about aragorn in the movies when they were current and shaking my head but like - that's fandom! it just wasn't recognizable to me as a kid!!

my dad meanwhile is a star wars guy. he isn't a "collect the toys" or "read the entire extended universe" star wars guy but he likes the movies & was excited to share them with his kids. same with the beatles and beach boys. he is also a big fan of gadgets - when I was growing up he was really into palm pilots, and then blackberry, and now he's the guy closely following developments in the smartphone world. he has multiple phones for different situations. he also likes to ski (this may be a jock quality, jury is out), is very into skiing-adjacent tech, and has a collection of enamel pins from every ski area he's been to. (he also got me and my brother collecting pins once we were old enough to ski hehe)

anyway. this is a lot of rambling about my parents but my point is. when i was a kid i couldn't imagine my parents having inner lives or hobbies like mine, bc i was a child and that part of my brain hadn't finished growing yet. i didn't know anyone whose parents shared their hobbies so i imagined my experience to be universal.

but my parents are nerds too. the mainstream-ification of Nerd Culture and Nerd Merch made my parents' fandom more obvious maybe, but it was always there. i just didn't know that's what i was looking at, bc they didn't express their nerdiness with a pile of pokemon toys or amateur fanfiction like i did.

i'm glad i eventually realized that i didn't have to give up what i loved to be normal once i reached a certain age. my parents didn't either. no one does!

[stars-n-spice]

Recently had a LOTR/The Hobbit marathon with the siblings so have TBB watching LOTR/The Hobbit headcanons:

Once or twice a year they'll sit down and have these marathons - usually while also eating a big Hobbit-styled meal

First started with Echo wanting to show Omega the movies and while they were watching them together, the rest of the Batch came to sit and watch too

Crosshair at first was like "Tch. Nerds, you like this shit?" and then Aragorn popped onto the screen and suddenly Crosshair was very invested (in the plot, of course)

Wrecker enjoys it for the action and thinks the Elves are cool while Hunter watches it because they all watch it and he doesn't want to be left out (he has no idea what's going on but Tech keeps him informed and updated)

Crosshair has a crush on Aragorn while Wrecker has a crush on Lady Arwen

Hunter attempted to bleach his hair ONCE because Legolas inspired him (it did not go well)

Crosshair took up archery because of Legolas and is very good at it

Tech: "Did you know in this scene, Viggo-"

Omega always quotes the "I am no man" scene before immediately attacking the nearest brother to her with a pillow

Hunter will also quote the war speeches Theoden and Aragorn give before riding out into battle and only Omega and Wrecker find it entertaining (they'll scream "DEAAATHH!!" after him)

Echo and Tech are the only ones who've read the books (Omega is in the process but it's a struggle)

Crosshair totally does not get emotional over Faramir and Boromir - oh no definitely no he doesn't cry when Faramir asks his dad if he'd rather he died over Boromir

Actually they are all emotional over Boromir's death

Also for that matter, Crosshair totally does not get super emotional over Samwise and how utterly loyal he is to Frodo - nope definitely not!

They play "take a shot every time Pippin fucks up something" while watching

Every time there's an Orc on the screen they'll point at each other and go "That's you." or "Wow, I can't believe you're in this movie too."

Y'know that scene in Helm's Deep when Aragorn comes through the door?? Yeah. Crosshair nearly fainted.

Gollum freaks Wrecker the fuck out and Crosshair revels in this fact because he can do the voice

When Omega saw the Hobbit for the first time she was so upset about Killi dying that she didn't talk to Tech and Echo for a few days because she was like, "Why would you make me watch this?? >:'( That was so sad!!"

for that matter Wrecker was also crying when Killi died and then Bilbo's reaction to Thorin's death had all of them crying/tearing up

Crosshair hates watching the Hobbit because everyone always brings up how much him and Bilbo are alike (in terms of sass)

Though that one scene in BotFA where Bilbo is showing Thorin the acorn and talking about planting it, the first time Crosshair saw that and saw how Thorin was looking at Bilbo the man fucking melted and now holds all potential partners to that standard (and to Aragorn)

Tech: "Well, now that we've finished watching the entire series, who wants to watch the extended cut?" - "THERE'S MORE!?!"

Feel free to add on!

[pedanticpunk]

☢️ Modern Era (Peak Ruination)

Dune (2021)

Stellan - as Baron "I will have you, on a desert planet, worship a giant meatball for 166 minutes, and you will not question it." – Skarsgård

Era: Post-Thor ("Daddy has mouths to feed and sons to raise"), Pre-Dune 2 ("...and more sons to raise"). Peak Stellan? Objectively yes.

Ruin Method: Makes Butler method-act like Bill for months just to ghost his calls. "Sorry Austin, the Baron only takes communiques via spice-induced vision."

Odette's Verdict: "LOTR is better". ---

Film: 8.7/10

Skarsgård Impact: 7.8/10 ★★★★☆ ("Stellan devours scenery like the Baron devours… everything.")

PSSP: 68% (Stable)

Harkonnen Hospitality Rating: "1/5 stars. No towels, only betrayal. Would not get murdered here again."

Succession (2021)

Alexander - as Lukas "What if I was a tech bro with a God complex, a p*ss fetish, and the worst texting habits known to man?" - Skarsgård

Era: Post-The Northman muscle, pre-Infinity Pool meltdown.

Ruin Method: I will eyef*ck you into giving me your entire family empire.

Odette's Verdict: Not enough therapy in the world. ---

Series: 9.5/10

Skarsgård Impact: 9.4/10 ★★★★☆ (Points for power moves, deducted for oversharing.)

PSSP: 19% (Catastrophic Collapse)

Would I let him buy my company? I don't think I would know what is happening before it's too late. Would I let him send me weird DMs at 3 AM? Unfortunately, yes.

Eternals (2021)

Bill - as Kro "I couldn’t help but wonder... what if the real eternal love story was a Deviant licking your face for 7,000 years and still getting ghosted?"– Skarsgård

Era: Post-It Chapter 2 (post-clowning), Pre-John Wick 4 (pre-waistcoat villainy). Dad did Marvel, why not me too? Peak Bill? Debatable.

Ruin Method: Slides into your DMs with "we’re the same, you and I" after you tweet a single sad meme. Blocks you before sunrise.

Odette's Verdict: "Bill was in it? When?" ---

Film: 6.5/10 (5.9 if you watch it during a Marvel burn-out)

Skarsgård Impact: 7.2/10 ★★★☆☆ (The man can monologue for 20 minutes of screentime and you still think it's the best thing at the cinemas that week")

PSSP: 61% (Stable)

Insert jokes about the Skarsgård thirst being eternal *here*

The Northman (2022)

Alexander - as Amleth "I couldn’t help but wonder… what if the real Viking fantasy was screaming into a fjord naked while your abs do 90% of the acting?"– aka a feral himbo with a PhD in daddy issues – Skarsgård

Era: Post-Big Little Lies (post-suburban rage), Pre-Infinity Pool (pre-rich-people rot). Peak Alex? Objectively yes.

Ruin Method: Convinces you to raid a village for "honor," then ditches you to monologue at a volcano.

Odette's Verdict: Swedish man playing the Northman, the bar is low here. ---

Film: 7.8/10

Skarsgård Impact: 9.7/10 ★★★★☆ (The man grunted his way to an Oscar snub.)

PSSP: 15% (Catastrophic Collapse)

Viking AirBNB Review: ★☆☆☆☆ - No hot tub, just blood eagles. Host left me for a ‘prophecy.’ Would raid again.

Barbarian (2022)

Bill - as Keith "I couldn’t help but wonder… what if the real horror isn’t in the basement, but in trusting a man who seems too perfect?" aka hot guy mumbles his way through offering you a glass of wine while you're rambling about your favorite film - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Clark, Pre-Boy Kills World. Was it the best Bill? No.

Ruin Method: Ghosts you after getting your Hooker/Canned heat LP. You’d still defend him.

Odette's Verdict: "Awww, he actually looks nice here for once." ---

Film: 6.2/10

Skarsgård Impact: 8/10 ★★★★☆ (He weaponized awkward eye contact.)

PSSP: 42% (Critical Condition)

Detroit Airbnb Review: ★☆☆☆☆ - The host left me one bottle of water and 37 hidden tunnels. I would not survive again.

Infinity Pool (2023)

Alexander - as James "What if I was a rich failson with a humiliation kink, and Mia Goth made sure you’d never look at me the same way again?" - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Northman brute, Succession was still a thing (perhaps James in alternate timeline?). Best Alex? No. Hottest Trainwreck? Yes.

Ruin Method: I will make you question your morals and your attraction to me.

Odette's Verdict: Why is he barking? ---

Film: 6.3

Skarsgård Impact: 9.2/10 ★★★★☆ (Points for commitment, deducted for feral degradation kink on main.)

PSSP: 11% (Catastrophic Collapse)

Resort Review: ★☆☆☆☆ - ‘All-inclusive’ meant all my dignity. James cried in my lap after I said ‘no.’ 10/10 would ruin again.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

Bill - as the Marquis "I couldn’t help but wonder... what if the real High Table power move was to not blink while ordering a man's death in a €5000 waistcoat?" - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Clark, Pre-Boy Kills World (pre-screaming). Is this Peak Bill? Oui.

Ruin Method: He ghosts you after making you book his same-day Michelin-starred revenge dinner. You’d still Venmo him for the wine.

Odette's Verdict: "He looks like he has a B2B SaaS startup that never got picked up." ---

Film: 7.1/10 (It's a JW film, what do you want from it?)

Skarsgård Impact: 8.8/10 ★★★★☆ ("The man delivers his French like it’s a threat. And it is.")

PSSP: 33% (Critical Condition)

Yelp Review: "The host promised ‘a night of elegance.’ I arrived to find 37 corpses and a non-refundable tasting menu. The Marquis called this ‘ambiance.’"

Oppenheimer (2023)

Gustaf - as Hans "I am here for the awards because I can act like Dad on the big screenz." - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Vikings typecasting purgatory, pre-???. Still suffering from success like DJ Khaled.

Ruin Method: I will make you take me seriously, whether you like it or not.

Odette's Verdict: "Awww, he looks like a divorced math teacher." ---

Film: 9.3/10

Skarsgård Impact: 8.7/10 ★★★★☆ (Points for range, deducted for lack of hair.)

PSSP: 82% (Minimal Threat)

Would Trust This Man With Nuclear Secrets? No. Would Let Him Mansplain Physics? Maybe.

Boy Kills World (2023)

Bill - as Boy "I will have you, a white woman, yell boy for 111 minutes and you will not question it" - Skarsgård

Era: Post-John Wick 4, Pre-The Crow (aka "If I have to get shredded, I'll try to do a franchise.")

Ruin method: I will have you defend the poorly executed fighting scenes.

Odette's Verdict: Why are we not watching the Raid? ---

Film: 7.2

Skarsgård Impact: 8.4/10

PSSP: 58% (Stable)

The action isn’t poorly executed - it’s authentically exhausted. You try doing 47 takes of a hallway fight sequence after three months of keto.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Stellan - as Baron "I will have you, a desert messiah, worship my nephew’s corpse for 165 minutes, and you will not question it (aka floating through the plot like a rancid birthday balloon)." – Skarsgård

Era: Post-Dune 1 (already greased up), Pre-Mamma Mia 3 (MERYL SAY YES AND MY LIFE IS YOURS).

Ruin Method: Forces Butler to actually drink the Baron’s bathwater for "authenticity." Still won’t follow him back on Instagram.

Odette's Verdict: "I can see why Academy voters skipped this one" ---

Film: 9.1/10

Skarsgård Impact: 8.5/10 ★★★★☆ ("Stellan’s least sweaty performance.")

PSSP: 65% (Stable)

Harkonnen Yelp Review: "0/5. No brunch, just war crimes. ‘Moisture for the moisture god’ my ASS."

The Crow (2024)

Bill - as Eric "I will 10000% make this about me by saying it's not about me." aka THE BILL AWAKENING - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Boy Kills World’s mute himbo arc, pre-Nosferatu’s emo vampire era. Best Bill? No. Was he chasing his big-tiddy goth fantasy? Absolutely.

Ruin Method: Slides into your DMs with “u up?” at 3am, then shares his off-key industrial demo. You’d still set it as your alarm.

Odette's Verdict: "0/10, but post a shirtless BTS pic pls." ---

Film: 5.8/10

Skarsgård Impact: 7.3/10 ★★★☆☆ (2.6 of those stars are for the line delivery alone)

PSSP: 48% (Critical Condition)

Nosferatu (2024)

Bill - as Count Orlok "I gotta make up for that line delivery while staying on theme" - Skarsgård

Era: Post Crow, Pre Locked. There is a theme here.

Ruin Method: You respond to his "Art thou free this eve? (I hunger) text, forces you to look at his creeping shadow while he hums Wonderwall.

Odette's Verdict: "Nepotism is bad. Not the best Robert Eggers film. Fight me. Also, ew - toxic. " ---

Film: 6.9 (Odette is right, pacing was off - don't lie to yourself)

Skarsgård Impact: 9.8/10 ★★★★★ (The man hisses in iambic pentameter. Enough said.)

PSSP: 48.06% (Adjusted for inflation, you can't be ruining real estate just because).

Transylvania Airbnb Review: ★☆☆☆☆ "Host demanded I renounce daylight. ‘No mirrors’ policy strictly enforced. Would let him curse my bloodline again."

Locked (2025)

Bill - as Eddie "You will discover your new kink, your directorial signature, and the OG psycho of your dreams will pass on the torch in the most fatherly way possible, while I'm making you my baby mama." - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Nosferatu. A daring experiment of Bill flying solo in a high-stakes heist gone psychological. The best Bill for now.

Ruin Method: I’ll steal your car and your heart, all while schooling you on the real consequences of street smarts and dump you on my way to get my kid.

Odette's Verdict: Absolutely not. --- Film: 6.7/10

Skarsgård Impact: 8.9/10 ★★★★☆ (Points for survival skills, deducted for not eating before the heist.)

PSSP: 29% (Critical Condition)

Would I let him steal my car? No. Would I watch him slowly lose his mind again? Absolutely.

[niuttuc]

magic subject: upcoming planes/sets

Hope you’re having a good week! :3

I'll try to stay brief because there are a lot of those.

Thunder Junction: I was expecting to like this set more than I have been. The tropey character twists of MKM and the fact they just dropped a dozen existing named characters without really getting any deeper on any of them makes me roll my eyes more than anything, I'd have liked an actual new set of characters for once.

Modern Horizons III: Excited for some fun designs, dreading some pushed designs, baffled by commander precons, like the idea of new sparkers.

Assassin's Creed: I have mostly no care for that franchise or the associated designs so far. It'll exist. I'm a bit amused that they committed to the small booster formula so far and with another company before the first one even went to print and faceplanted.

Bloomburrow: Cute and new! Well, except for the fursona bonus sheet, but hopefully that's just a fun addition and it's not another set of "new setting, but all old characters" again, because we haven't had something new in a good while. At least it's a bit less tropey a space than Western or Detectives.

Duskmourn: Now that we've seen Thunder Junction and MKM, I expect the modern horror set to also be pretty shallow, and it's not a genre I have much investment in. Hopefully they don't feel the need to make it all about known characters being trapped in the mansion!

Innistrad Remastered: Would have been much better instead of Double Feature, and also probably will get forgotten like the last few remastered sets that were overpriced and/or underprinted. Be honest, whoever is reading this: did you remember they announced that?

Interplanar Death Race set: Chaining together genres that I don't care much or any about, though given its nature I expect this one will be old characters at least, as it should be.

Return to Tarkir: Finally we get development on that situation of returning Khans! We do, right?

Final Fantasy: I'm not the biggest Final Fantasy fan, I've played a couple of them, but it's the same kind of set as LotR was, and that was a success regardless, and there's a lot of material to pull from in Final Fantasy. Cautiously optimistic.

Space Set: Neat! I hope they pull it off and make it feel expansive and alive without invalidating the rest of the game!

Return to Lorwyn: A bit too far into the future to know what to expect, but the one narrow and unhelpful look at Lorwyn in March of the Machine did not make me hopeful for the return, especially with how the previous block ended!

Return to Arcavios: That's a lot of returns! Hopefully this is about Arcavios as a whole and not as focused on Strixhaven. Honestly had forgotten this was a set!

First Marvel booster set: See Final Fantasy. Thankfully, probably will be focused on the comics moreso than the MCU. But wouldn't surprise me if the different sets are different comic book runs. We don't know enough details to give a real opinion.

Finale to the multi-year story arc: I imagine the arc will end with battling returning Fomori or a big villain taking control of their tech in some way. It's starting pretty slowly for now, so can't really guess much about this one.

[lightwise]

Masterlist

Hey there, friend 🌻 You can call me Light or Lightwise ✨ This is my little corner of Tumblr mostly dedicated to Star Wars (especially the Bad Batch, clone boys, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan). I am a photographer and writer in my early thirties who spent her childhood telling stories to herself while riding her bike in circles around her driveway. Little did I know at the time that would be considered fan fiction and that however many years later I would find myself nerding out in the Star Wars fandom and loving every second of it ✨

I write a lot of in-depth analyses and musings, which are tagged with #somelightramblings (for a touch of irony, because they are usually anything but light or short :D).

My image edits are tagged with #somelightedits

My fics/writings are tagged with #lightwisewrites

My fic recommendations are tagged with #somelightreading

I currently do not take fic requests but you can find my writing (a mix of one-shots and long-form WIPs) on here as well as on AO3.

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🤗 and feel free to use my edits for headers or PFPs with credit!

This blog contains both SFW and NSFW content, so minors DNI, 18+ only please and thank you 👀

moon dividers by @djarrex 🩷

Btw, I talk mainly about Star Wars with an emphasis on my favorite Bad Batch Boys, but I love many other fandoms/shows/books as well and welcome any conversations/sliding into my DMs to discuss them or other random (SFW) topics!

Narnia (my first fantasy love) | Mystery of Aaravos (The Dragon Prince) | Gilmore Girls | Marvelous Mrs. Maisel | A Series of Unfortunate Events | Shadow and Bone | LoTR | TrollHunters | Gravity Falls | Studio Ghibli  | Anything Jane Austen or 18th and 19th century literature | Sound of Music | And whatever you want to talk about! My Asks are always open!

Key:  🤔 = long analysis  📷 = image edits (alone or within analysis posts) 🫣 = Potentially disturbing or triggering content (mental health, implied violence or dying, etc.) 🔥 = NSFW/spicy content

My Fics

🫣 Plan 99 - Short one-shot fic from Tech's perspective. I wanted to show the thoughts that must have been running through his mind as he fell. The love he has for his family. The peace he has in his decision. (from the season finale of TBB season 2)

Tumblr link | AO3 link

Be There - I had to fill in a couple of moments that we didn’t get in S3 E4 - A Different Approach. Hunter and Crosshair's perspectives on trying to find/escaping with Omega and their impending reunion.

Tumblr link | AO3 link

🔥 The Sun Also Burns - Jod managed to escape the Supervisor’s tower, his choices and life path now open before him. But he can’t escape his past, his demons–or an unexpected reunion. Will he finally grasp onto the pinpricks of light trying to break through his darkness? Or will he make another trip around the void he’s been circling before he’s willing to change his ways?

Tumblr link | AO3 link

Coming soon:

Compass and the North Star - long-form fill in the gaps of TBB season 2, focused on Rex and Echo's efforts to free their clone brothers.

This Is It for Me - Hunter helps out a friend and finally reveals his feelings for her while camping overnight.

Obi-Wan Goes House Hunting

Bound Together by Lawlessness - Obi-Wan and Bo-Katan

Collaborations:

🔥 Sharp Edges - (with @spicy-clones) (ALL of the spiciness, minors do NOT read!)

Tumblr link | AO3 link

Coming soon: Pabu Wedding (with @drafthorsemath)

Inspired by other fics:

The Adventures of Gonky the Cat - Slight spoiler, Gonky is a cat in the modern AU fic Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude (see description below), and I decided to write his backstory/fill in some of his adventures. This is a WIP, currently there are no spoilers in it, but eventually there will be some chapters that give spoilers for later in the story (and will be noted as such).

Gemini Eyes - This one shot fits in as a chapter in between chapters 85 and 87 of Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude (see description below). DO NOT read it unless you have made it that far in Mel's work, otherwise you will have pretty significant spoilers. I had a lot of fun working with Mel's versions of each character, and it's always a joy to write Tech's thought processes and mannerisms. 

Fic Recs

Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude - by MelMorganne99 over on AO3. It's a clever, emotional, modern AU with Crosshair x OC (and one of the best OC characters I've ever read). This fic helped me understand and appreciate the nuances of Crosshair's personality and emotional journey, and has given me endless writing inspiration. And the author is one of the kindest, most engaging people I've ever met online. Please, please, please do yourself a favor and read it. There are 99 chapters but they're on the short side and full of snarky humor and sometimes surprising cameos. This is a full blown fix it fic too, although not always in the ways you might expect!

The Vacation - by @staycalmandhugaclone is one of the best Crosshair fics (and smut fics in general) I've ever read. The writing style haunts me and both Crosshair and the OC are beautifully characterized.

More will be tagged soon!

Show/Character Analyses & Edits

Star Wars

📷 Huyang and Tech

🤔 The Force - Part 1 and Part 2

🤔 + 📷 Project Necromancer

🤔 Comparing Acolyte vs. Skeleton Crew (each episode)

The Bad Batch

S2

🤔 Know Your Showrunners

🤔 + 📷 Phee and the Bad Batch

🤔 + 📷 Why Mayday is a Mirror of Rex (How Crosshair Predicted His Own Redemption Arc) + an excellent comment addition.

🤔 + 📷 There is Something to be Said for Freedom (Crosshair in The Tipping Point)

🤔 + 📷 Fennec season 3 TBB Predictions

S3

🤔 They Don't Know

🤔 + 📷 Project Necromancer

🤔 + 📷 Tech and Crosshair Parallels

📷 Hunter and Wrecker

📷 Omega Smiling at Crosshair

📷 Separate / Together

🤔 Thoughts on Crosshair's Hand Tremor

🤔 + 📷 Crosshair's Choice

🤔 There is No "We"

🤔 Crosshair Sighs

📷 Recognition

🤔 + 📷 Omega Is Not Okay

📷 Get Up Here

📷 Return to The Outpost - Images Part 1 | Part 2

🤔 + 📷 Full Circle - The Return to The Outpost

📷 Crosshair Portraits

🤔 + 📷 I Am Many Things But I Am Not Your Enemy (Ventress)

🤔 I Never Gave Up On You (Parallels between Luke and Omega)

🤔 + 📷 Hidden Monsters (TBB and the monsters they face)

🤔 + 📷 They Call Themselves The Bad Batch

🤔 + 📷 Remain Calm. Cooperate. And You Might Survive. (Analysis of Emerie Karr) + excellent comment addition

Ahsoka

📷 Life and Death (Ahsoka series ep 5 + Tales of the Jedi ep 1)

📷 They Reflect Each Other (Ahsoka and Anakin as master and padawan, Ahsoka series ep 5)

🫣 + 🤔 Ahsoka’s Choice (Ahsoka series ep 5)

🤔 The Face of War (Ahsoka series ep 5)

📷 Red and Blue (Ahsoka series ep 5)

📷 Anakin’s Clone Wars Robes (Ahsoka series ep 5)

Ahsoka’s Direction (Ahsoka series ep 5)

Mandalorian

The Protector (Satine, Bo, & Din as rulers of Mandalore) + excellent comment additions

Skeleton Crew

Captain Brutus vs. Captain Silvo

9 Lost Planets

Misc. Skeleton Crew Thoughts

Andor

Coming soon

Episode Reactions

Ahsoka Series: Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4

The Bad Batch (Season 3): Episodes 1-3 | Episode 4 | Episode 6 | Episode 7

Headcanons

Hardcase

Wolffe

Crosshair

Tech

Cody

Jesse and Hunter

Random Musings

Psychometry (Ahsoka)

Hunter and Obi-Wan: Similarities

About Me/Tag Games

15 Questions

TBB Asks Game 1

TBB Asks Game 2

TBB Asks Game 3

TBB Asks Game 4

[rhaenyrsa]

Rhaenyra Targaryen's Verses:

Main: Takes place during HOTD. Duh.

Modern: Rhaenyra is the daughter of a well known businessman who runs a large tech company. She is set to take it over, but struggles when her half - brother is offered as an alternative to her taking over as CEO. Think Succession.

Standard fantasy verse: Either Westeros is its own continent or King's Landing as a whole is its own island where Rhaenyra and the Targaryens hail from. Their family possesses a certain magic that allows them to have a special bond with dragons. Skyrim, Dragon Age, and LOTR specializations available.

Jujutsu Kaisen: The Targaryens are a family of sorcerers from the coast of England that tend to keep to themselves. However, longing for connection with other sorcerers, Rhaenyra makes her way to Japan to further hone her abilities with sorcerers outside of her family. Her cursed technique is a fire - based one that allows her to breathe fire like a dragon and is unique to her family.

Naruto: The Targaryens hail from the Land of Fire, making their home in a village outside of Konoha. Rhaenyra has a fire type jutsu and has developed a technique that allows her to appear as though she breathes fire like a dragon would.

Star Wars: Westeros is its own planet, where essentially the main plot of HOTD occurs. Before she is usurped, however, Rhaenyra is well known on Coruscant. Her throne being taken lines up with the Republic falling, or, when threads take place during the original trilogy, she secretly fights alongside the Resistance in an attempt to get her throne back.