#would they want to keep ruling humans? would they leave them alone? idk

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Ive complained about acotar's weird plot structure before and I was gonna talk about how I would fix it as well, but then I forgot so Im talking about how I would fix it now

Just get rid of Amarantha, Rhysand's the villain now. He gets her Woman Scorned motivation of being rejected by Tamlin but hes still the high lord of the night court and instead of him ruling over all of Prythian, he basically just torments Tamlin and hes got the spring court locked down with magic so no one can come in or out for help. One idea that I like is that instead of the mask curse, everyone is cursed to just cant stand being near Tamlin, like he comes into a room that a few servants are cleaning and they immediately feel compelled to leave without another word. Idk, the idea is that Rhysands trying to break him through isolation while convincing him that hes unlovable so he'll come crawling right back to him. And then theres obviously still that caveat of 'the curse gets broken if you can find a human whos killed a fae with hate in her heart and get her to fall in love with you, but until then everything stays as is'

From then on, things mostly happen as they do in the book with Tamlin and Feyre bonding except Lucien's not there because of that curse. Or, actually you could still have him around since Feyre wouldnt be affected by the curse, just not anywhere near Tamlin. Oh, I really like the idea of Lucien very begrudgingly coming up to this human girl he dislikes so that he can be like "hey, can you please tell Tamlin that we're still friends and that I still love him even though I cant speak to him" thatd be sweet

(uhhhhhh this got way longer than anticipated, have a readmore)

I think if you still want Rhys to be like, the hot and sexy badboy alternative love interest you could have him corner Feyre whenever shes alone and try to seduce her in order make absolutely 100% sure she never breaks that curse. But its not working, she just keeps bonding with Tamlin and he notices that shes getting more and more comfortable with him and seems to be slowly falling in love with him and hes getting nervous, because Rhysand is absolutely not above just coming in and hurting her in order to torment him some more so he sends her away, again, like in the book

Then Feyre comes back and maybe she finds that the spring court is now shrowded in eternal night for 💫Atmosphere💫 and Tamlin has submitted to Rhysand. But hes still not quite satisfied because Tamlin basically begged him not to hurt Feyre because he loves her, and Rhysand just needs him to say that he doesnt love her after all. And Feyre comes in and demands that her high lord be set free and Rhysand issues the same three trials as Amarantha, I dont think he should give her the riddle because idk, i always thought it was really weird and stupid to have these trials AND a riddle, just pick one. And Im picking the trials because Rhysand is a sadistic mf. I dont think the trials should happen over the course of three months though, I think they should happen over the course of three days with one trial a day, because Rhysand is very confident that Feyre will just die and hes getting a little impatient, like he just wants to have his Tamlin already yknow

And then she completes the trials, Rhysand has to release them and thats the end of the story. I think this would work best as a standalone, but if you still wanted to make it a trilogy and you still wanted to have the Feysand bargain, maybe Feyre could completely break down during that last trial where she has to kill those innocent fae because shes bonded with them so much (in this version she would get to know more of the household than just Alis and Lucien) and she cant bring herself to do it and Rhysand is all smug like "do you give up?" but then Feyre pulls herself together and goes to stab the first one, and he realizes that she might actually do it for Tamlin's sake and that all of his plans are about to be ruined, so hes basically like "okay, you know what, Ive changed my mind, I'll lift the curse and I'll leave you and Tamlin be, but you'll have to agree to this bargain with me where you have to stay at my court for two weeks every months" the idea is basically that if he cant have Tamlin's love, hes gonna take Tamlin's beloved, and Feyre agrees

Idrk how the next book could play out from that point. I have this image in my head of like. okay so, one of my favorite obscure dark romance dynamics is ancient evil vampire/newly turned evil vampire/kind-hearted innocent human guy, bonus points if the newly turned vampire and the innocent human guy were in a perfectly normal loving relationship before the other vampire entered their life. And what Im pitching is basically the fae-version of that for Feylinsand. Im invisioning Feyre having a corruption arc and slowly falling for Rhysand but she also still loves Tamlin and Rhysand also still loves him so they entrap him in this fucked up and evil but also hot and sexy poly relationship. That might be a little self-indulgent but idk man, this whole series is built on self-indulgence and its not even interesting because sjm has the most boring sex fantasies ive ever read. which yknow, im not necessarily judging, I just dont like it. Also actually nvm I think it would be funnier if Feyre didnt fall for Rhysand, like its not a thing of her coming down to his level so she can kiss him, she turns evil for completely unrelated reasons

Another thing you could do if you wanted to make it a trilogy, but maybe one thats less focused on sex because what else are you gonna do with a hot evil polycule, is you have Rhysand take Tamlin to the night court which is like, all the way on the opposite side of Prythian. So then the first book could be everything I just described except when Feyre comes back to the spring court, she finds that Tamlin is gone and it ends right there, on a cliffhanger. The next book would be her and Lucien and maybe Alis or some other fae she befriended traveling all across Prythian to get to the night court and we see a bunch of Prythian because godddd I despise the fact that in the actual acotar series, we're just trapped in the night court for 4 books and barely get to see anything outside of the night court, nay, velaris. And then the third book would be them trying to find Velaris, which would be a secret city in the sense that no one knows where it is but like people do know the name and that it does exist somewhere, and Feyre either does the trials and frees Tamlin that way or maybe theyll get the Illyrians on board to just kill him and that breaks the curse idk

And yeah, thats it, this got way longer than I thought. I was just kinda spitballing here because again, I dont like the first book's structure at all and I think the existence of Hybern is so unecessary. Like, Prythian has seven courts with plenty of potential for interesting politics to happen between them, whyyyyyy does there need to be a kingdom full of evil people for them to unite against?? I hate it

Anyway, Ive been thinking about this idea for a little while but I had no plans for fleshing it out in any way, but now that ive written all that down Im thinking of maybe cleaning all of that up and actually making it a whole rewrite at some point. I make no promises though, I suck ass at writing longer stories. So until then, let me know what you think of this

[141trash]

AN: so I know its not exactly simon x reader its all platonic, but I wasn't sure how else to tag this. Actually if you squint it could be Ghost x Soap I'll let you decide :) Sometimes my brain says things should exist so I write them. Loosely borrows the Master of Death concept from the HP series because yes. She's my OC if you want to know more just let me know I mostly just wanted to practice writing Simon idk and wanted him to be comforted :(

"Let's say I believed you," the exhausted lieutenant's voice broke the quiet hiss of sand shifting in the warm breeze. He laid staring up at the cloudless blue sky, knife held limply in one hand. His balaclava was torn off and cast aside, leaving his face exposed to the unrelenting sun.

"Mhm?" Came the sweet voice, acknowledging his words and probing gently for him to continue.

"If I believe you're the master of death or whatever," he croaked out, throat parched, "Why me? Why save me? There're billions of people who deserve to be saved over me."

Her head cocked to the side, observing him for a moment.

"Why do you believe you're not worth saving?" she asked instead of answering. Simon let out a harsh laugh interrupted by a bout of coughing and a resigned grunt of pain.

"y'just need to look at me to know that love. My mask. I'm a killer. Got my family killed. My mum, my brother." he swallowed, voice cracking as he continued, "His beautiful wife, and their little boy."

He gulped feeling the hot sting of tears and used some of his waning strength to swipe them angrily away. When she didn't say anything he turned his head in her direction. It was hard to believe that he wasn't hallucinating. Sitting next to him in the middle of the desert was a six year old in a pink tutu and a burnt tiara of some sort, perched in her golden curls. Small hands drew shapes and patterns in the scorching sand as if the temperature didn't affect her. Big innocent green eyes bore into him in a way that very much felt like she was staring into his soul.

"The skull mask was an interesting choice," She agreed dryly, "I won't disagree that you're a killer either, given your chosen profession. But you didn't get your family killed. The actions of others are not yours to take the blame for."

"Y'r surprisingly wise for a kid."

The master of death rolled her eyes and smiled, revealing a set of pearly white teeth, "Today I'm a kid."

"Sure. like tomorrow you're not goin' to be."

She gave a shrug of her shoulders, "Maybe, maybe not. It's not exactly my choice."

"Y'didn't answer my question." he coughed again, "If you're the master of death. Why me?"

"I don't make those decisions. I think death would be rather cross with me if that was the case. Everything dies at some point. It's part of the cycle. But death says I'm still ruled by my human emotions. If I had the choice, I don't think I would let people die. And then there really would be no point to life."

He laughed again and then groaned, the side where he'd been shot throbbed horribly.

"You sure you ain't just here to kill me?" Simon wheezed out, hands tightening into fists, "Because it sure feels like it."

Tenderly she reached out and smoothed one of his hands, grasping at it with her much smaller one.

"Of course not Simon." she clucked her tongue as if to scold him, "Pain means you're alive. Keep living. Find your reason to keep living. It's important. You're important."

His vision was darkening with each passing second and her voice was growing murky, like he was hearing it underwater. Gasping in panic he forced his eyes open.

"It hurts," it came out as a whimper. She smiled sadly at him, bright green eyes wet with sympathy.

"I know sweetheart, but it won't be forever."

Then she was gone. The small, but reassuring grip she'd had on his hand disappeared and the panic fully settled in. He tried to call out to her. He didn't want to be alone again. Anything, but having to face the world alone again. He wanted to beg and plead for her to return, but his mouth refused to listen.

Rough hands grabbed hold of him, jerking him back to consciousness. When he managed to get his eyes open again he saw a familiar tanned, if a little blurry, face staring back at him with worry in his eyes. Johnny. Johnny was there.

He saw the sergeant's mouth moving, but he couldn't hear. All of his senses were on fire, everything was too loud, to rough, too painful. No part of him didn't hurt.

He was alive and Johnny was here. Weakly he lifted a hand to grasp the shoulder of the Scottish man's vest.

"You're here." was all he managed to gasp weakly attempting to smile before his mind gave out and he fell into darkness. This time he gave in willingly. He wasn't alone anymore.

[kadajsbitch]

Fresh Air

Pinocchio x Fem!Reader

Warning: Smoking a cigarette, other than that none for the most part.

I kind of want to turn this into a series, idk yet. This may be a bit OOC but for the most part, the character is nameless as for the little mentions of her family and things, I still for the most part kept it a clean slate for the readers to make that themselves. If I do make this a series, I’ll probably give them a last name or something but as of now, it’s pretty much a blank slate so enjoy. 😅

•*•*•*•*•*•

It was late. Way too late for a lady of her status to be outside even if it was just to stand in front of the building she resided at.

But then again, those things didn’t matter anymore… not with the rogue mechanoids patrolling the streets of Krat looking for any potential human or even puppet that hadn’t been affected with whatever was turning them haywire, to ultimately slaughter. It also didn’t matter anymore considering she no longer lived under her families rule anymore. For all they knew, she was dead and despite that being a cause for concern to most, it was one of the things that felt like a grand weight being lifted off her shoulders… therefore, her status didn’t matter anymore.

She pulled her robe around herself a little more tightly for the sake of keeping warmth. Due to the fires that were beginning to spread around the already apocalyptic city, the winds had picked up, causing for it all to appear slightly foggy, and in all honesty hard to breath… which made for what she was about to do seem stupid.

But one thing was for certain and that was that Krat was now in an apocalyptic state and even if the puppets were to one day just stop their tumultuous assault against everything within their line of vison, it would take years before Krat could be in a state of repair… and years before it would be fully repaired.

She reached into her robe pocket, keeping her head up and alert as she looked around once more, wearily taking a few hesitant steps away from the door. While it had only been a few days since her arrival to the hotel, she felt as if she was trapped which to her was slightly ironic because before she had arrived, she had told herself if there were people there who could help her, she’d never leave the building for the sake of her life.

To get to the hotel had been a challenging and a perilous journey itself. She had been on her way back to the station, not willing that was or sure but having only been in Krat because she thought she’d be able to hide out there until her family got bored with looking for her…

She let out a frustrated huff, as she quickly moved to check her other pocket, and to both her satisfaction and annoyance, she finally grasped the thing she had been looking for… the box of cigarettes.

Straightening herself as she hesitantly glanced down the bridge and around her once more, making sure she was indeed alone. Her attention fell back to the little box. She had grabbed it off a corpse when she had been running towards the hotel… she guessed it had been a simple cream white color before it had been splattered with blood.

It felt wrong to grab it off a dead man’s body, but then again it wasn’t like he would be using them. She for one, definitely did not them nor have any true need for them considering she had never smoked before in her life. Yet she did it… and she despite the overwhelming feeling of regret having to do with her actions, she felt a peculiar sense of excitement by it due to the fact if her family could see her, they’d surely throw a fit at catching her smoking.

She carefully slid the little box from the bloodied sleeve that held its contents, before pulling one of the carefully hand rolled pieces out. Quickly, she placed it between her lips before pocketing the box and shoving it back in her robe pocket and finding her matches.

Speaking of her family….

She came from a wealthy one. One with lots of influence on those within in London and neighboring countries, yet no one would’ve guessed considering she never had her debut into society the proper way due to the fact she had ran away. She knew what would come of the day… Her mother had wanted to throw a debutante ball and hold it at their manor, like they had done for her sister and cousins, and so on.

While from the outside, it seemed like a grand affair, some girls who were the stars of their balls and those they attended, loved it and looked forward to them, she knew it was just an excuse for her parents to go window shopping for a husband for her. The very thing she did not want.

So, she waited a week before the event, the night of her escape she had changed into one of the puppet servants clothing and promptly ran away. She had been fifteen then… and she had been very ill-prepared for how the world outside of first class society really was and yet, she wouldn’t trade it for nothing in the world because at least she had one thing her parents seemed to have not wanted her to have at all, and that was free will to live her life according.

Of course, her family wasn’t just going to allow her to leave on her own terms. Over the years she had narrowly escaped men who had chased after her, no doubt privately hired by her father who promised them wealth and money to find her. Three men in which, continued their pursuit of finding and bringing her back to her father alive and in one piece for the award they were no doubt expecting from the man.

And they would’ve succeeded this time too, if not for the puppets at the station going haywire and attacking the men who were all but trying to drag her in the train and those around her…

Feeling her hand grasp the small box of matches, she quickly pulled it out, her head whipping around to ensure her safety once more before she looked down, bringing the now lit match that she had repeatedly hit against the striker until it was ignited.

Quickly she brought the end of her cigarette to it before shaking the match out, and taking a shaky inhale. While she had never smoked before, she had been told if she ever tried, to inhale with her mouth first before fully inhaling with her lungs to avoid the embarrassment of hacking up said lungs. She pushed the smoke out through her nose, making an audible “Oh.” Sound before, she brought the cigarette away from her mouth as she hesitantly looked across the bridge, her face fixing on the figure she hadn’t noticed before.

She froze for what felt like minutes before she slowly made her way to the hotel door. However, she got the need to look back once more, in which she did, and luckily it wasn’t a puppet like she had assumed… it was him.

He was halfway across the bridge now, his eyes fixed on her. He wore a simple chemise top that had a loose frill collar, and simple black breeches with his flat shoes and socks. A stark contrast from the uniform she was use to seeing him in…She suddenly became aware of what she had on, as the skirt of her chemise night dress and train of her robe blew slightly in the harsh wind, again reminding her that she shouldn’t have been out. If not for the fact that by societal standards, she was a woman, it was the fact that she was dressed indecently especially considering she was alone.

She pulled the silk robe a little bit tighter around her chest area, looking down to make sure it was still secured in place by the silk belt of the robe before she hesitantly stepped away from the door as he got closer.

“It’s late. You could’ve smoked through the window.” His voice was surprisingly deep yet it wasn’t so guttural, and held a softness to it. It was both pleasing yet odd coming from him considering his features were somewhat soft. Despite this, he didn’t sound particularly upset or worried about what she was doing. More so stating the situation, and a solution that would’ve been better than her coming outside.

She sighed softly, exhaling the smoke as she turned to look behind him and towards her right. “Yes, it is and I could’ve but I needed some time outside of the hotel… I know the air isn’t particularly fresh out here, but it’s nice to be outside.” She said, her eyes finding his to search his expression.

He tilted his chin down slightly keeping his eyes on her as his eyebrows furrowed in an expression that seemed to be questioning her reasons.

“Nice to be outside… in these conditions.” He turned his body slightly to look at the scene beyond the destroyed building that stood closer to the hotel as his eyes shifted from one collapsing building to the few giant clouds of black smoke rising in the air from fires that brewed.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly as she took another drag of the cigarette, now feeling a little more comfortable to inhale it. “As thankful as I am for Antonia’s benevolence and allowing me to stay under her roof for the time being, staying inside for too long can be a bit stuffy. No matter how many windows you open.” She said, watching as he turned to look back at her, his eyebrow raised slightly in a questioning matter while his gaze seemed to hold a look of doubt.

“Besides, it’s not like we can really have many windows open… while it does seem like the puppets tend to ignore the inside of the buildings, if they catch wind of seeing anything within, they’ll do what they usually do.” She says frowning. When she had arrived to the hotel, she had felt safe enough to relax and be as loud as she wanted due to the fact she was staying in the highest part of the hotel… that’s until Antonia informed her that some of the puppets were climbing.

“How attentive. You’re observant enough to know that if they think they can sense humans within the building, they’ll tear it down in a means to get to us. Yet it’s alright to stand outside and smoke because you’re in need of fresh air?” At this, she narrowed her eyes at him slightly before rolling them watching as a gentle grin found it’s way on his lips.

“We haven’t been formally introduced. My name’s Pinocchio.” At this, her exspression shifted to one of curiosity. “Like the fairytale?” He nodded before holding his hand out for her to shake, an action in which she carefully repeated as they became familiar with one another.

“(Y/n).” She said, a little to stiffly for her liking but hoping it was believable. She had been using the false name for years after she had ran away, yet it never felt right coming from her lips.

She didn’t miss how the corner of his mouth slowly withdrew, his eyebrow raising more as a smirk found its way to his face. “Lovely name. I haven’t met anyone with a name like yet.” She smiled, withdrawing her hand from his as he did as well.

She had seen the man walking around the hotel every now and then, but she had never interacted with him due to the fact he seemed to only really come inside the hotel to maybe get supplies and talk to Eugenia, Antonia, and the man who resided in the study.

And almost immediately, he’d leave afterwards. She had never seen him eat or drink anything, which in turn made her believe he ate when she was either in her room considering the fact it’s where she mainly stayed now unless she was speaking with Eugenia, the girl who ran the weapons shop she had became friendly with.

After a moment of silence and looking at one another, he turned to face the bridge to look at the scene in-front of them.

“You shouldn’t stay out too long. They rarely come up here, but every now and then there’s two or three that are sauntering infront of the door when I come or am exiting.” At this, her face fell from the relaxed, almost pleasant look to one of shock. Not really by the fact that they would come close to the hotel, that much she assumed but she hadn’t even bothered to check the windows before she so much as opened the doors.

He glanced at her from the side before smiling gently, turning back towards the doors as he opened one. Before he entered however, he looked over to her, clearing sensing her sudden unease. “Are you coming inside too or, do you wish to enjoy the outside air more?” He asked. Again, his tone was gentle yet you could see an almost teasing look in his eye as she stood there waiting for his response.

She didn’t hesitate however. Quickly, she knelt down, quickly stubbing the cigarette out as her other hand held her robe together tightly to keep modest before she stood up, and quickly went inside. Nodding at Pinocchio who averted his eyes to the ground to watch his step, once she was inside as he moved to follow, closing the door behind him.

[densewentz]

I am. Quaking over Crowley and Hanna cause AUGH they're so adorable. Getting up into antics! What do you think some of their adventures would be? Chaos at the nursery garden stores? Lurking in woods to find creatures? Sorry I just really wanna know.

"Can we get a 'wahoo'?"

First off thank you for the perfect reason to post this sketch!

I cannot even begin to imagine the terrors they rain on the general public tbh. Between Crowley still feeling jilted and Hanna feeling free for the first time, the limit is really their imaginations (of which they both posses quite a fair bit).

In fairness since this little au I'm simmering takes place pretty soon after the end of s2, they probably don't do a lot of REALLY outlandish stuff for a while. They'll stay local, probably spend time with Nina and Maggie and probably end up meeting the Them at some point. Crowley would also probably want to try and keep inconspicuous (hah) with heaven and hell looming over their heads and now with a squishy thing to protect. I LOVE the garden center chaos idea btw, shoutout anon, and Crowley's little pseudo Eden is definitely going to rapidly expand into a vibrant and terrified indoor oasis (skylights included). Shops in general are going to have to watch their backs (Crowley has a reason to go into many of them quite frequently now, and without his celestial counterpart to keep him from goofing off too much). Hanna is a big fan of the classic "run down the aisles of a toy store and rapidly push every single button you find" method of spreading foment.

Since Hanna hasn't had an opportunity to see/experience most of the world, I imagine they spend a LOT of time popping through museums/zoos/aquariums/etc. Crowley pointing out things he caused, things an... old friend caused, things that actually happened way differently but got recorded wrong. Hanna dragging her dad around and both of them getting WAY too into reading the information plaques for all the animals. Then seeing which animals freak tf out if her dad flashes his eyes. (The giftshops get terrorized if there arent enough fungus-themed objects, although there is always miraculously at least one). They probably break into a lot/if not most of the exhibits after hours to take selfies for Crowley's rapidly growing photo album. Hanna sits at the shark touch tank and loudly proclaims how smooth they are. And since im a sucker for I-Want-To-Share-The-Stars Crowley, they probably pop over to an observatory or break into idk, where they keep the telescope on the Canary Islands or something. And he'll tell her what he remembers about the Creation and what it feels like to hold a new star in your hand. Hanna will curl up against Crowley's chest and get lost in his voice and the distant glitter of a world her dad designed. They probably also commit crimes. Not major crimes, mind you, although that's due more to Crowley's occasional sense of "as a parent i probably shouldn't let you" than any unwillingness on Hanna's part. But she'll definitely help him move signs or infiltrate office buildings and other assorted sabotages. She 100% gets her own little version of the Fuck Shit Up Jacket, and whether he likes it or not the Bentley has decided Hanna gets to pick the getaway music.

It doesn't really count as demonic but Crowley DOES keep a bag of spare change and googly eyes for Hanna to glue to things at will while they're out.

But tbh i imagine the most trouble she gets into is if she's left alone with Muriel. Evidently Hanna has her father's talent for tempting angels into misbehaving or at least into not noticing that they are, in fact, misbehaving in the human sense. Crowley usually feels almost bad for the baby angel but, needs must. and sometimes he needs a babysitter. The rule is SUPPOSED to be that if Hanna is with Muriel, they DO. NOT. LEAVE. the bookshop (they always leave the bookshop).

At one point she meets a boy named Kian at a pub called the New Inn. Crowley very desperately wants her to not want to spend time with Kian for reasons he refuses to explain 💕

At any rate if anyone ever wants to write or draw anything with Hanna they're more than welcome to and also I'll probably cry a lot so Cheers! Thank you for the ask (apologies for my signature long-winded answer)!

[dear-departed]

Hellooooo :) I wanted to make a request for Obey Me! but I am unsure if you would be willing to write for the idea that I have. I saw on your rules that you are somewhat okay with morbid themes and idk if you would consider this morbid and I completely understand if you arent comfortable with this.

But how would the brothers react to an MC who has killed another human before? Either in self defense or in defense of a sibling/friend... like they completely snapped and lost control when it happened and didnt realize what they were doing until it was over.

Desc.: MC has killed in self defense. How will the brothers react to a human with blood on their hands? Warnings for descriptions of violence.

Word count: 1.1k

Genre: Fluff mostly. Headcanons

Character(s): All 7 demon brothers. Brief mention of Diavolo. A/N: I haven't played the game in a while. If there's any new stuff that came out and I'm unaware of it, I apologize in advance. Also I'm terribly sorry for putting off my inbox for so long.

                Frankly, most of the brothers aren’t bothered, regardless of if it was self defense or not. After all, demons aren’t very known for having a strong moral compass.

                Lucifer is likely the most concerned. He wants Lord Diavolo’s plans to play out just as he envisioned them, and making peace with both the celestial realm and mortal plane is difficult if everyone is aware that the exchange student is a killer. He tells you to keep it down low. “I will not tolerate any rumors circulating. If anybody goes digging to find out, notify me, and I will deal with them swiftly.” He would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious, but giving off the impression that he’s curious about your mortal life would be unprofessional and humiliating. And after all, he has everything on your profile, so why would he need to ask? He doesn’t offer protection; he simply assumes you’re aware that you’re safe under his watch. If something else happens, he’s there within no time. Fuming, so much so that you’re afraid he might create another Satan.                 Mammon thinks you’re badass. I mean, within the thousands of years all the brothers have lived, it’s natural that all of them have led to the demise of at least one other person. But humans? It’s rare you find a human who has directly ended the life of another, with their own two hands. He can’t help himself but ask. One of those days where he can’t find it in him to leave you alone. “So… what’d you use? A knife? Yer hands? Not that I care, or anything… I just want to know! I should be the first to know. I’m your first, after all.” Sits his happy ass on your bed and kicks his feet back and forth like the bbg he is.                 Leviathan is only human. Well… only demon. He’s allowed to be curious, and by God, he is. He can’t help but compare you to every goddamn anime and manga and video game under the sun. He makes assumptions, rather than asking, primarily because you can’t get a word in edgewise from all his theories. “Y-You killed them with a phone cord, right? Or wait— a knife; so, you can get that perfect camera pan from the body to the blood shining off you…” He’s close to having a nosebleed right there, imagining the cinematics. Honestly, he’d be a good play or movie director if he had some more flexibility. Luckily, though, he doesn’t think you’re a normie. What kind of normie kills another person? Exactly.                 Satan, like Leviathan, has a lot of theories and questions. The self-proclaimed detective of the House of Lamentation has many questions… even if it already was a solved-and-shut case. “What did you use? Was that hatred festering in your body for a while? No, not at all, it couldn’t have… you said it was in self-defense. Perhaps, a crime of passion when you got them under you? Crime is a strong word, however… a homicide of passion. It sounds like something out of a book, to be frank. It couldn’t have been those feeble excuses for self-defense, like pepper spray, or those tasers you humans have… no, it had to have been lethal.” To be honest, he starts talking to himself rather than you. “I’ve figured it out! You were getting mugged, a dim alleyway, later than your normal route as you had to stay longer for work… It was a lone thug, an inexperienced criminal… they threatened you with one of those airsoft guns with the orange tips pried off. After all, such a newbie would be far too afraid to take another human life. Of course, you only knew that after they were dead… you pepper-sprayed them, and in a bout of fright and the frantic urge to survive, you beat them to death with a nearby brick!”

“… Sure, Satan. Right on the money.” You reply, thumb and forefinger squeezing the bridge of your nose.                 Asmodeus is under the impression you’re some big bad brute. You know, he has a thing for dangerous people like you… to be fair, he has a thing for just about any type of person, but let him flirt, alright. He’s more than content to listen to your story while he paints your nails or does whatever the hell he wants with your hair. He reacts in an animated manner, truly enthralled. “Oh really?” “Awe, I bet that was gross!” “You took care of yourself after, right? That skin of yours?” He scolds you for not taking care of yourself if you fell into a depression after the incident. “You neglected yourself that much? Shame, shame!” Of course, it’s all lighthearted. If you’re up for it, a bottle of demonus and/or a bottle of human wine? He loves gossip and wine, two of his favorite things aside from beauty and expensive skincare and makeup. And sex. And strip clubs, and partying- okay, he has a lot of favorite things.

                Beelzebub is a family man, no doubt about it. You get scary dog privileges just from being around him. A hulking beast of a man, who just wants you to share a nice meal with him. He doesn’t care to probe or ask questions, but he’ll certainly lend an ear if you want to talk. The only thing is that he stares directly into your face as you talk, hand absentmindedly reaching around into a bag of chips or a bowl of snacks. He offers them to you, “snacks always make me feel better, here.” He vows to make sure nobody tries to harm you, and does he sure fucking live up to that promise. Nobody tries to poke fun, much less harm you, when he’s around. And if they do something while he’s around the corner? Oh boy, he’ll toss them around like a bag of potatoes.                

                Belphegor asks you to talk him to sleep oftentimes. Not that your voice is boring, just that he finds it calming. He slowly dozes off and you take the chance to get out some of the emotions haunting you, some of the images in your head of the lifeless body of your attacker laying on the floor, or the red and blue flashing lights. You start talking to him. Retelling the story, trying to fill in some of the details that have eluded you, things you looked over in your panic when it had first happened. Something that is so soothing to him, your voice, manages to draw him out of his slumber. He keeps his eyes closed, but his brain awake He doesn’t mean to pretend to be asleep, he doesn’t care if you know he’s awake or not, he’s just too tired to face the light. “… humans disgust me.” He remarks, drawing you out of your retelling. “…not you. Not you, of course. The person that attacked you, they disgust me. I hope their soul rots and grows maggot infested.” He scowls quietly.

[irafuwas]

Now that I finished putting up my translations for chapter 1 of Book 7 over on my translation blog, I wanted to come here and jot down some of my thoughts/observations/questions/ramblings I had while going through everything. Putting this under a read more 'cause it contains spoilers.

Anime Girl Lilia doing the "Oh no, I'm late!" bit was perfect

Malleus said he's been alone since long before he hatched from his egg, which provides credence to the idea that his parents had already passed away before he was born

Lilia said the house he raised Silver in was just a vacant home he came across in the woods. So did he have another home in town that he just chose not to live in or something? The guy's a decorated war hero so I would presume he'd have a proper house in the castle town, so why did he choose to raise baby Silver in a random, abandoned home he found in the middle of the forest?

Squatter Lilia confirmed

I think Lilia's weapon that Sebek found while cleaning out Lilia's closet is going to play an important role later in the story. They went of their way to draw up art for it and it was, like, the main focus of a whole episode so I feel they are drawing attention to it for a reason. The special characteristic of this weapon is that the stone blade is adorned with a magic type of metal that changes shape in response to the owner's magical powers. Maybe Silver will take up the sword from/for his Father later on, and it will transform in some way? Possible future Mulan reference?

I haven't been able to puzzle out if Lilia's beloved acorn bracelet is a reference to anything in particular. I can't think of any Disney movies where something like that was featured. Can you guys think of anything? It's literally just a bunch of nasty old acorns tied together with a piece of string, and Lilia said that even Malleus is jealous that Lilia has it.

It's absolutely and positively way too suspicious that Lilia is trying to leave so quickly and suddenly. I feel like whatever secret he's keeping from anyone is about to come to a head and that's why he's trying to exit stage left so quickly. Or maybe if he were to stay with everyone, it would be putting them at risk somehow? Idk I just don't believe his "i'M olD aNd mY mAgiC raN oUT" story for a moment.

I really don't think Malleus himself realizes his own feelings of loneliness. So often, he will say that he's used to being alone and that he prefers it (and he does indeed often split off from groups in order to do his own thing), but I don't he's conceptualized quite yet that yeah, he gets lonely sometimes. I feel his loneliness, and possibly that of the other Diasomnia crew will be the defining theme of this book (Silver's loneliness in his ephemeral humanity, Lilia's loneliness as a broken ex-soldier, and Sebek's loneliness in not having a place to belong in either side of his family (humans fear his fae-nature, and the fae despise his human blood)).

Loved the shoutout to Elsa with Malleus accidentally scaring others with his ice powers and almost turning his home (the castle) into ice forever. If/when he does attempt to prevent the people around him from leaving him behind, I'm now curious if it will purely be a sleeping curse or if his ice powers will also be involved as well? Maybe a combo of the two?

If Malleus is Elsa, who is his Anna?

One of the "rules" for TWST books is that whoever overblotted in the last book will use their Unique Magic to aid the main characters of the next book in someway. All Idia's UM does is just open and close the gate to the underworld, so I'm a bit concerned how that will come into play later on... Could Lilia's story about wanting to go to the Land of Red Dragons just be a cover up, and his true destination is... idk but somebody gonna end up getting trapped in the underworld or something and it better not be Silver 😡

[mmufanatic]

Here's the MMU/ Red Dwarf AU that nobody asked for! You probably don't need to have watched Red Dwarf to understand this.

-So, Daisy, Hazel and Alexander work on a mining ship (yep, ship in space and no, I have no idea what century this is) called Red Dwarf as maintenance crew

- On one of the planets they stop at, Alexander finds a pregnant stray cat that's ill

-Alexander being Alexander takes it in (completely throwing my 'Alexander is scared of cats' headcanon out the window) and looks after it. Only Hazel knows.

- Someone hears the cat meowing and reports it.

- Alexander and Hazel are told by the captain that they either tell them where the cat is or spend 18 months in stasis ( suspended animation). If they tell them where the cat is, it will be chucked out because it was unquarantined.

- They refuse and are put into stasis for 18 months.

- During this time, a radiation leak occurs, killing the whole crew, including Daisy, but Hazel and Alexander are safe in stasis.

- The cat was sealed safely in the hold ( idk how it got in there, but lucky for the cat!) and had the kittens. Over 3 million years, they evolved into a humanoid cat species that formed a society very similar to humans given that there was human stuff in the hold so they adapted to use it and learnt societal rules based off the books that they found there.

- Over time, the cats are pretty much human, except they have sharp teeth, some have claws, they purr, hiss, growl and love wool or string.

- One of these cats is George.

- Supplies are low and there aren't many of the cats left (George's parents are dead).

- The radiation is now at a safe level so they can leave the hold. They decide to take a smaller ship and leave Red Dwarf to find a new home.

-George is left behind because supplies are low and there isn't much room on the ship so someone has to stay behind, and thanks to a mix of racism and ableism, it's him.

- He's alone for a few years and he gets really bored in that time.

- It occurs to him that none of the cats looked around the rest of the ship, other than the hold, because they didn't know what killed the crew so they didn't want to risk it

- He looks around and finds the sleeping quarters and BOOM! There's CDs, DVDs, books, clothes, blankets, cushions - there's so much stuff to keep him entertained.

- He takes what he wants down to the hold so it feels more like a home

-He still feels really lonely though, especially at night

- Once the ship's computer is absolutely sure that the radiation levels are safe, Hazel and Alexander are let out of stasis.

- They go straight to the hologram projection suite and upload Daisy's disc (they create a Daisy made of light, basically. It's Daisy but technically it's not. Long story. Anyways, Daisy's back! Yay!)

- They go to their sleeping quarters and are more than a little freaked out to find a lot of their stuff gone.

- Hazel's all ' The ghosts of the crew took it! They're angry that we're alive when they're not!' bc I think Hazel would definitely have survivor's guilt.

- Daisy is very annoyed and wants a logical explanation so she scans the ship for life signs and gets a reading from the hold.

- They go down there, armed to the teeth, and find an Aladdin's cave of all their stuff, with George in one of Daisy's dresses, reading an Agatha Christie.

- Needless to say, this was definitely not what they were expecting.

- It takes a lot of explaining from Hazel, Daisy, Alexander, George and the ship's computer but eventually they work out what happened. They even find out that they're all the same age.

- Trouble is, George isn't very keen on giving up their stuff.

- They realise that he's really into politics (there were a lot of books on politics and history) so they try to explain it to him like that

( 'So... I colonised your wardrobe?'

'Yes.'

'And now I have to give your things back? Like the British Museum should give the stolen things back?'

'Yes.'

'....Ok.')

- He's still not very happy about it though

- At first, George is quite scared of them because they burst in with a load of guns.

- He soon learns that they're not a threat though and is just annoyed with them because in his mind, it's his ship and they just turned up

- As a compromise, they agree that some of their stuff is off limits, but some things can be shared.

- George still doesn't trust them

- Daisy and Hazel share a room and are really close.

- Alexander's in a room on his own and a bit lonely- he's quite jealous of Daisy and Hazel

- George finds the hold lonely and a bit scary when he's trying to go to sleep and he's vulnerable but he doesn't trust the others so he stays there.

- Then, after a while, there's an emergency, which gets sorted out pretty quickly, but George's routine is messed up, it was loud and overwhelming and since Daisy, Hazel and Alexander turned up it feels like everything has been one change after another.

- He goes down to the hold and has a pretty bad meltdown.

- Alexander was worried because he left abruptly so he goes to see him

- He finds him and ends up helping him through the meltdown.

- George isn't expecting him to be nice about it because he got used to ableism from the other cats

- But Alexander's just like ' Oh, I get them too, they're horrible aren't they'

- Once he's calmer, they read for a bit but once it gets late George doesn't want to be alone.

- And Alexander has a spare bunk!

- George stays in Alexander's room for the night and they both get a better night's sleep.

- After that, George stays in that room with Alexander and they become close friends.

- Alexander finds it very cute that George purrs when he hugs him

- George is just annoyed that he can't stop it.

- All four of them become good friends, although they are still a bit annoyed at George when he takes their stuff without asking.

[daaedoodles]

I rly like '24 for the obvious reasons but also cuz it humanized everyone more. Regina's villain origin story was worse imo but when she fell on stage I couldnt help but thinking shes just a GIRL. Shes just a girl who hates her body, ate shit in front of the whole school, basically has her bare ass out and is getting photographed and filmed to be posted online and get HUMILIATED. Idk if this was said in the social media scene of the movie or if i made it up in my head bc im gen z and I know the internet but in my head I was like yeah shes a fucking cunt but she didn't deserve 💀 threats cuz ppl be throwing 💀 threats at ANYTHING 😭😭😭

ME TOO. i watched a review and they said that the only characters that were humanized were the plastics and they were actually so right?? the other teenagers in the school just were like crazy social media assholes and none of them had a redeeming moment so i think i ended up feeling bad for regina and hating them instead like the shit they were saying and doing was vile and she got fucking dragged on social media when, honestly, that wouldn’t happen IRL you’d get cancelled for making fun of someone like that.

EXACTLY. she’s just a girl and honestly regina isn’t even that mean? in 24’ people just seem more like they’re scared of her because she’s hot and has power and followers and influence because of that and COULD potentially destroy you. she’s grumpy with people and she gets rude with gretchen and karen, but we never see her being mean to anyone else? but even still there’s genuine moments like when she’s asking how many calories are in the chobani where she’s picking her nails and you can tell she’s nervous and she actually almost seems kind of nice like that and you can’t help but think how much of the mean girl persona is just regina projecting her insecurities on everyone else. like she rules the school, but how much of that confidence is because she doesn’t ever want to be bullied and ostracized like janis was/she made janis — and then ended up having the same thing happen to her in the most cruel way possible?

the kalteen bars, oh my god. janis doing this was just evil because she would’ve known about regina’s insecurities. doubt regina would ever let anyone else in the school know and then, the cherry on top, janis told the school she did it on PURPOSE to mess with her life and exposed that to everyone

and the fuckign death threats… i was honestly like wtf? like the north shore high student body actually needs to get hit by a bus cause they suck somehow even worse than regina 😭

the fake ass go fund mes and leaving presents at her door but never actually visiting her is so something that would happen irl. i just imagine she’s basically completely alone and keeps hearing from her mom and has seen some of the shit people said on social media when she was recovering from her injuries and that’s why she changes and realizes she needs to be better

[cambrian-creature]

Hello, and welcome to M*A*S*H enjoyers anonymous

Now tell us, why are you here?

(basically just a free space to talk/infodump, be free my sweet cheese)

Oooooh boy.

MASH is a show about war, but also mostly it's about people and how people react under stress. Something to note is that it's about the Korean War, but it's actually about the Vietnam War.

It's got its issues, definitely. It's not particularly respectful to Korean people despite being set in Korea. But it was the 70s so like. Idk, can't expect much. There's a lot to unpack in the way of imperialism. The show is very anti-war, but mostly focused on the Americans, which is pretty damn reductive if you ask me. There is also the misogyny and if one more person calls Major Margaret Houllihan "hot lips" I am going to throw hands. I'm not making excuses for any of this, but it's an old ass show and you can't get too hung up on it. ANYWAY, you asked about the good stuff.

The main character, Hawkeye, is this. Unhinged, sleep deprived, alcoholic surgeon who's just. Unreasonably good at his job. Despite the Horrors of War, he's still one of the kindest, most lovable people, and he only put Frank in a shipping crate one time, so it's fine. And the blood he stole was for a good cause. As was the money he stole and the one time he gaslit a guy into thinking he'd lost his mind. All for a good cause. He's so cool, he's a menace, he's a slut, he's deeply psychologically damaged, he's a little silly, he invented the principle behind Goncharov, he's even bisexual.

Hawkeye's best friend and roommate is Trapper John, fellow manwhore and prankster extraordinaire. He always makes me a little sad cause I think he's Hawkeye's best friend and Hawkeye isn't his best friend? To him, it's all temporary, and he'll get out of Korea and go back to his wife and kids and probably try to not think about any of it ever again, but Hawk's such a ride or die friend, and he depends so much on not being alone and. Fuck, man. He's just like me for real. No shit, I realized this a couple years ago, and it sent me into this huge spiral of wondering if my friends love me as much as I love them and it lasted like. Years. And then I did that thing people do where they tell other people about their feelings? Which was weird. But it was also cool and now I do not worry about that as much anymore. A little bit, because the fears never cease, but y'know. It's cool. Apparently I am also sad and lonely because I am FULLY spilling my guts here lmao. Don't read that. Fuck whatever BJ has going on, THIS is the Trapper Complex.

Also Trapper leaves like three seasons in and is replaced by Blow Job Hunnicut, who keeps saying shit like "man, I bet you sure had fun with Trapper, huh" and "boy this must be just like the good ol days with Trapper" like we get it, you're jealous. He's also deeply psychologically damaged. I don't like him so much, but I also haven't seen a lot of him yet so I guess we'll see.

Okay, now MARGARET. She's amazing. She's cool and fascinating and ALSO deeply psychologically damaged! She's a strong woman in the 50s, she's so angry all the time, she just wants some goddamn respect and also someone to hang out with her to do manicures. She has this fascinating mix of wanting to be feminine and pretty but also needing to be masculine and angry to get respect. She's a hardass, she's obsessed with the rules, she's so mad at everything all the time because she has so little control over her situation, she's just like my mother and I love her so much. She could do any man's job in that camp so much better. I like to think after the war she goes back to medical school and becomes a doctor and gets some GODDAMN RESPECT.

Also she's dating (she dumps him don't worry) this absolute schlub Frank who is. A garbage human being. He's so pathetic and funny but also like genuinely terrible and canonically homophobic. If he were in modern times he would vote for Trump. He's Mr. Patriot. He's the Yankee Doodle Doctor. He's a shit doctor. He's so funny to watch cause everyone around him is so funny and witty and good at snappy comebacks and he says shit like "ohhhh you- you- guys!! >:(" Like yeah Frank. Get em. Don't hold back. He's a real "why I oughta-" kinda guy. Apparently the actor got so much hate mail he quit the show which is honestly so mean and tragic because Frank is such a fun character. I want to watch him fail again and again and again and then cause more problems. He could call me a slur in a Walmart parking lot and I'd just laugh at him and ask him if his wife knows about his girlfriend. She doesn't.

When Frank left, he got replaced by this other guy and I have no idea what his deal is. My apologies to Charles Emerson Winchester III. People like him I guess. He seems boring next to Frank tbh.

Now lemme tell ya about Klinger. Actually lemme show you.

He's beautiful. Gorgeous. Show stopping. He started out as a bit character and the joke was that he was trying to get a section 8 discharge (sent home on the grounds of being mentally unfit to serve), but everyone loved him so much that he became a recurring character and the outfits kept getting better and it went from "haha man in a dress" to "he's a genuinely deep character and this is his coping mechanism and he is so afraid of this war. Also he's the hottest guy around and everyone knows it. Even the priest wants him carnally." Genuinely the best fucking guy. In the early seasons, the laugh track goes off every time he enters a room and it makes me so mad. Take his whimsical ass seriously.

Also I mentioned there's a priest. I'm not sure why they have a priest, but I think that was just a thing in the 50s. He's got too many names. You can find him currently in the Catholic Characters Tournament and it's funny cause the person who runs that keeps getting his names out of order. It's John Patrick Francis Mulcahy, cause they gave him one name in the movie and then changed it in the show like twice at least so. Four names. Anyway, he's the only priest I trust. He literally just wants to help people and he has no way of knowing that he's doing any real good so he wants recognition for his efforts but that goes against what he's meant to be doing, he's meant to be completely selfless, but he wants to know that he's at least doing something, otherwise what's the point. What's the point of everything he's worked for. What's the point of devoting his life to this. To these people and to his god and to being a good person. Because if he thinks of himself, if he wants anything for himself, does that not mean he's selfish? And that's bad, he can't be selfish, but he is because everyone is, that's just human nature to want to know the results of your work. Also he's convinced he's the second coming of Christ or some shit. I can't fully explain this one, but he really does think he's like. God's special little boy. Which is kinda fair, cause he gives fucking EVERYTHING to these people, to the doctors, to the soldiers, even to the enemy, because he just wants people to be okay. He wants people to stop fighting and to heal and to love one another. And he also wants someone to tell him he's doing a good job and that he's making a difference and he wouldn't believe them but it would be something. Also he wants to punch people sometimes. All the time. He could kick anyone's ass in single combat. I love him.

Am I missing anything.

RADAR!!!!! They put a child in a warzone but luckily he is hyper-competent and literally psychic. He makes me sad because he is 19 years old and he has a teddy bear and he is short and angry and eats a lot because he's a growing boy and everyone makes fun of him for having teenager behavior when he is!!!! A teenager!!!! He graduated highschool yesterday!!!!! He's the same age as me and he's in a warzone!!!!!! Get him out of there!!!!! Put him in college and let him work a boring ass fast food job like a normal teenager!!!!! And stop laughing at him for having a teddy bear!!!!!!! He's not even that short, it's just that all the guys in this show are at least 6 feet tall. Anyway, he basically runs the camp because Henry is fucking incompetent (affectionate) so yeah. This child is their commanding officer and the only one anyone respects.

Their actual commanding officer is Henry Blake. He just wants to go home and see his wife and kids again and go fishing and chill the fuck out. He's a good surgeon but genuinely a pathetic army man. But also I love him so much cause listen. He could just fuck off. We see another guy in his same rank and position who just hangs out in Tokyo the whole time making money off this shit. So despite being very afraid all the time, Henry sticks around in a shitty camp 3 miles from the front to patch up kids full of lead. He stays not out of any duty to the army, but a duty to his patients and his people, because he's a good person and a good doctor and genuinely one of the bravest people around. He could've been a coward and hid, but he stayed and he helped people and even though he knew the risks, it just never occurred to him that he could abandon his people to do it all without him. He stayed and he died and he never saw his wife and kids again and he never met his newborn son. He tells his oldest son over the phone to be good while he's gone, to stay strong and keep everything running until he comes back, and he never comes back. I am genuinely crying. Fuck. I hope he's catching the best fish at the big lake in the sky.

Anyway. I'm gonna stop before this gets out of hand. More than it has.

[madmadder]

Another unwanted presentation for you to read (or not)

TRIGGER WARNING: I mean it's just detail but I do mention non con briefly and just a lot of gay booty

Why hello Tumblr.

Since my brain didn't let me open this app a lot recently for??? Some reason?? I'm gonna take my revenge and do a full presentation about a song I associate with paras. Because that's fun.

Now this isn't the first para song I wrote down, FAR FROM IT, but I really love it okay leave me alone 🥹

It's called ''Middle of a Breakup'' by Panic! At The Disco, tis about a breakup (would you have guessed??) and people having a bunch of sex which is always fun to hear about. I associate it with two of my paras, Stryne and Octavius, who got married recently (*screeches*). Their relationship is very complicated but not toxic and definitely NOT over. The song reminds me of them not because they're breaking up (dear Lord never!! My babies!!) but because they have this unbelievable passion that just. Grrrr

Stryne

Stryne is the prince of a kingdom named Trys'han. He's an elf and rough shit happened to him and my point was he's SUPER badass. Very stoic and calm in most situations even with extreme danger. He has a very strong Laurent of Vere energy (if you read Captive Prince and you should btw), but I made him before I knew about the book which makes me a genius and C.S. Pacat's soulmate. What? It does

Stryne is known to be one of the most beautiful people ever which puts him in a lot of trouble sometimes cause some people just won't respect consent.

Octavius

Octavius is human and also insane. Like super weird. He's the most polite (and cynical) young king you'll ever meet but also he likes to break bones. Yknow. He rules a kingdom named Tarnstrang.

He actually perfectly ignored Stryne's consent when Stryne was caught as a war prisoner but what's weird is that they ended up in this weird ''enemies with benefits'' thing and they actually fell madly in love?? Idk don't ask me I thought it was weird too but now they're in a somehow healthy relationship. Please keep all questions til the end of the presentation.

The song

Now this song is a frickin banger. I absolutely love it. It has a very vintage vibe which always SLAMS

There's such a strong ''I hate you but I want your titties'' energy that you cannot hate. And the LYRICS!!

''You and me don't deserve each other'': true, Octavius is a huge asshole who doesn't deserve Stryne in the first place and yknow Stryne deserves someone better so that works both ways, BUT!! He makes Octavius be and WANT to be better so Octavius feels like Stryne doesn't deserve him or he doesn't deserve to be happy and married blah blah anyway I'm smart

I also particularly love the lyric that says ''feels like we just met''. Like. Okay. How are you so in love with someone that you feel like you're rediscovering them, I mean that is just AWESOME (sorry aro guys I have much love for you too I swear)

Okay, another one: ''I hate those words like destiny, forever and all time''. Sure they're a bit cheesy together (I mean cmon it's sweet) but they've also been through so much they don't believe in destiny and crap BUT they have found each other and that's awesome. They don't feel like they've been Miraculously Chosen, they simply fell in love and made it work. Awesome. (I'm very pragmatic if you couldn't tell 😂)

Plus: Stryne is an elf and he has been raised to speak VERY correctly so he's almost Shakespearean when he talks and it's very awesome because it clashes with this thought he has: no, there's no destiny, just facts. (Plus it allows his husband to make fun of him)

This is them btw

Anyway. That's it. I just needed to share because my brain is going to explode otherwise. I'm now crawling back to my cave ❤️

[demonicgod]

Some Source Talk Rambles (Or: Ways My Source Affects My ID as a Demon and Current Existence)

I just spent like an hour and a half drawing my source, so my brain is in a weird space rn (especially since it's like 1 AM but I'll leave this in the drafts to proof in the morning at least lmao) but I'm thinking about the fucked up structures of my source media and how that informs my identity as a demon (and as a demon that inevitably maliciously complied with destiny).

Gonna put this under a read more for folks scrolling the tags since idk how much y'all give a shit about Grand Chase lmao. This is really rambly anyways though.

TL;DR (for anyone that cares): Demons in my experience were literally made to destroy things, and any purposeless deviation from that was met with swift retribution. If one was too destructive, they would in turn be destroyed themselves; if one was not destructive enough, they would also be destroyed. This led my world to be harsh and exceedingly stratified by both strength and renown, with the idea of community a near-impossibility. Now that I am in a human body and not bound by the rules imposed on demons, I get to enjoy my stupid silly little crafts (so fuck you to the thing that made me, I like making bracelets).

[CN: discussions of source death]

So in my source, the Creator made deities to uphold creation and demons to uphold destruction.

Quite literally, demons were made to put an end to entire worlds/dimensions. We resided in one of our own, called Elyos, which was a very desolate, harsh place. The few safer spots generally got taken up by the strongest demons that could keep hold of them (and overall, a lot of demonic society tended to be very strength-based).

The oldest group of demons were the Ancients, who grew tired of the divine order that deemed us creatures of destruction alone. Disillusioned with an eternity where all before them was their own destruction, they rebelled against the Creator by simply refusing its orders, building a civilization instead--- creating something, if you will.

They made a sanctuary in desolation, which was in large part thanks to the ability to even deny the destructive orders in the first place.

To the rest of demonkind, we were tasked with destroying the Ancients for the hubris of their rebellion. I can't understand why this was necessary, if not to simply send a message to demonkind as a whole about the consequence of disobedience. It was a brutal war, all for the sake of the Creator asserting its will over its creations.

At the time I was zealous, and my heart was aligned with the idea of destruction as my only purpose in life. (To put it in meme terms: "I wanted to get a good grade at being a destructive little shit, which is a normal and reasonable thing to want. (/s)")

That eventually led to me dying, because after the Ancients were dealt with, I decided to lead demonkind to a dimension protected by Three Goddesses, who struck me down with a weapon fashioned of the Creator's essence itself.

I clawed my way back to life and then devoted myself to destruction with a more specific purpose: to remake the world so that demons no longer had this destructive "instinct" forced upon them by the Creator. I understood what the Ancients had after dying at the hands of my own nature as a demon of Elyos.

It wasn't until this first death that my purpose began to twist itself apart, becoming not a "pure" destructive urge but the desire to explicitly rebel against the Creator, rather than please it; after all, I had already displeased it in my overzealousness. So I determined to destroy in order to subdue its power, since it made the mistake of leaving its tools behind (like the one it had allowed the Three Goddesses to use against me).

The other demons worried themselves with whether or not they could be allowed to recklessly destroy or should mercifully do so (aka "destroy everything with abandon" vs "destroy things trapped in a drawn-out end"). I took over the faction that wanted to bring everything to an end, because I saw a means to my own in it; and I saw sympathy in the demons that knew no better than their own cravings, or found safety only in the abandonment of morals because they had no strength to defend them alone anyways.

I tore the worlds to shreds. I was so destructive I had to be put down not once, but twice. I held the Creator's power for a fraction of a moment in my life--- barely a day, if even, in my thousands upon thousands of years living as a demon. It was in that state that I had to be destroyed myself.

The hierarchy of celestial and demonic bodies was simply that rigid; even if I had not gone to such lengths, to desire Creation in any way (like the Ancients did) was a distortion of our purpose, unless that Creation served our destructive instinct somehow as weapon.

Yet the opulence of those at the top of Elyosian society was still allowed, somehow, while other demons lived squalid and in-fighting. Family names meant not only an inheritance of demonic weaponry, but an inheritance of wealth and security that few demons would ever know because the idea of community itself had been cast into the light of sin by the Ancient War.

What all of this ends up with is me grappling with a demonic identity in which I am ineluctably tethered to the concept of destruction, the ways it defines me, and the struggle within me to both give in to the pleasure of destruction and absolve myself of its burden.

And now, reflecting on that here, I think about how that identity as a demon contrasts with what it means to be demonic for people in and outside of our system. For some it's merely anatomical--- a demon is a nonhuman creature with no purpose other than to live. For others, what little they share deviates in what personal agency they were allowed in their existences or whether they had a purpose assigned to them by their nature as demons.

All the meanwhile I am here, a host of this system, holding together a bunch of bruised idiots and feeling what is the strangest sense of euphoria at being able to do something as simple as draw or make jewelry. I can't create worlds, I can't destroy this one, but I have my stupid, silly little crafts. I can make bracelets for the body's coworkers that brighten their day, or draw something that makes someone laugh. I can sing in the shower to my heart's fucking content, if I want. Or I can do none of those things, and just enjoy the world around me.

This world has a lot of shit that sucks and this all doesn't mean I won't do my best to be a stubborn thorn when it comes to the people that want me dead, of course, but these small little things--- the things that remind me that I am in a human body and no longer bound by my past life--- bring me a great deal of comfort.

My hands don't have to be here just to destroy. Not anymore.

[fallen--leafs]

Evil month info post - please read!

🎶 it started off as a penguin post, how did we end up like this- 🎶

Hi! In February, I would like to experiment for a bit! This energy has been building up and it has to mmmm Go Somewhere. Or this charade will break clean in two pieces.

In February, I will be playing a more evil Declan.

The Plot seems to be Going There, so I will take the time now to test if the character works that way, if he is interesting to play then, and if I can stomach playing that ooc. Which, is very much on the fence still

What does this mean?

It means we need a couple of extra rules

Interactions in February are semi-canon. Meaning if I do pick the evil route, they are cannon, if not, then not.

If you want me to tag anything, please let me know. I will do my very very best. (more on potential topics at the end)

If under these conditions, you choose not to interact with Declan, that is completely fine! I will keep a list of people I will leave alone completely, or leave alone with Plot Shit, etc. (and unfollowing me is always okay anyway, I never check that lmao)

Please do not Ask current rp partners about plot developments if they haven't interacted with them! If they have chosen not to interact with this, I would hate to see them dragged in. My character is not theirs to control, so forcing their comment on it would be ehh,, please don't.

The views of this character are not those of the mun behind it!! (always true, but deserves reiteration here)

Topics

Given the current plot, these themes may show up more often:

Human trafficking

Dehumanisation

Anything Sabbat, probably

That said, lines I will not cross:

(topics that will not, will in fact Never show up because I don't want to deal with that)

Sexual violence of ANY kind, implied or written out

Real-world discrimination (homophobia, transphobia, racism etc)

Finally I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HOW THIS IS GONNA GO. There might not be any Actual changes because I miscalculated the situation. I might call it quits a week in, or a day! Maybe I'm being overly cautious! Idk, I've never done anything like this before! Wah! I am asking for a little extra patience and uh. Flexibility on what is and isn't cannon while I figure this shit out. Again, if you don't wanna interact during that time, that's perfectly fine! Just shoot me a message. I'll definitely post updates as I figure shit out.

I'm probably overthinking this by a long shot. Hhhhhhh. But yea! If you've read this far, thank you!! I appreciate you immensely!!

[destinygoldenstar]

Ranking Every Just Dance 2023 Map For New Years

So. New years have arrived. To think I have 75 followers now. That’s insane. You guys are awesome. 

I guess I should do something for New Years, huh?

Let’s see...

Oh! I know!

I’m gonna rank every level from Just Dance 2023!

Why am I doing this?

2023.

That’s the only reason.

Okay, for a bit of my background on the game franchise, I’m not a hardcore Just Dance stan, and I am a bad dancer. At least, I was told that by my oh so nice friends ( /j )

However, I remember a lot of fun times I had with the games. One of my friends birthday parties was a dance party with one of the games. In my middle school gym classes around the end of the year, Just Dance was an option to play for the class, and I ALWAYS chose that. We had four people do a dance at a time on the Wii as a little competition. I never won once :(

And even at my senior high school holiday party, we had one of these sessions...

Dancing to the dreaded Rasputin.

That had me drained of energy the rest of the week. That map HAUNTS MY DREAMS.

In terms of myself OWNING a Just Dance Game though... I never did. Yeah, despite my fun, I didn’t own a game myself.

UNTIL this very Christmas, where I got 2023 as a gift from my parents. 

I LOVE this game, needless to say. I didn’t even know they were still making Just Dance games since like, 2016, so I was in LOVE with the evolution of the gameplay. And the song choices? MWAH. MY CUP OF TEA RIGHT HERE.

This might be one of my favorite Just Dance games I’ve ever played. (Which is not a high bar, so don’t get mad at me)

I actually made this game my new workout routine. I DESPERATELY need exercise for my weak nerd arms, especially for a community performer who can’t help with stage work even if I tried. So this game is gonna be my fun workout routine every day. A gym? What’s that? (I’m still healthy either way, so leave me alone)

And, well, from this being fresh in my mind, and 2023 in the title, I decided to make this my New Years gift to you all to celebrate 2023.

I bet none of you asked for this.

Keep in mind, I am NOT a good dancer, and from my background of Just Dance, I don’t have a lot of knowledge on what makes a Just Dance map good or not. This is just gonna be based on my enjoyment of these maps. I could love a map that’s poor quality by Just Dance standards. Idk, I wouldn’t know.

ALSO, if you’re gonna ask about the rules of the ALT versions... 

I will NOT be ranking ANY of the ones with the actual human coaches.

Those are all TRASH in case you’re wondering. I hate them. They take away from the creativity and magic of Just Dance maps by having them be real backgrounds for me, and I don’t like it when game developers exploit real people for profit. 

So I’m just gonna ban those from my mind.

Then there’s the issue of the versions of the maps, one regular and one extreme... I would say I’d only rank the maps separately if they are different from each other enough, but... I can’t determine that.

So I’m just gonna talk about the maps I want to talk about.

If I don’t mention one, I apologize in advance.

So, let’s get this train wreck started...

X Tier

48:

Zooby Doo

I hate Zooby Doo. 

Before the dance even started I knew I’d hate this map. 

This is baby game bait, and it nauseates me that executives forced this on talented choreographers who worked on this game. The entire map screams, ‘this is for babies, and absolutely no one else’

The song is awful. Must I say more?

The backgrounds are awful. I don’t understand why they’re all inflatables.

The coaches are awful. ONE OF THEM IS NAMED ‘DOODOO’...

...

ANYWAY, the coaches are awful. The designs are really bad with no coherences whatsoever, and the inflatables they’re wearing is so distracting and limits leg movement.

Oh, and it’s a duo map. I don’t like duo maps. I think they rely too heavily on using a partner, which if you’re doing it solo, you basically cannot do the dance. Even the best maps suffer from being duo maps because of this. 

And I might, MIGHT have forgiven it all if the dance was at least fun.

It’s not. 

There is little to NO choreo at all here. It’s just flailing around to obnoxious music. And when you’re just dying for the map to end, it K E E P S  G O I N G.

I am never touching this map ever again.

47:

Stay (Inflatable Version)

...no.

46:

Top Of The World

I like the song.

And that song deserves SO MUCH BETTER.

This in my eyes is only a commercial for a Paddington ripoff. 

Actually, if it was Paddington, I think the map would've been so much better. Mostly because I could follow a bear as a dance coach better than a crocodile, which has little limbs and a big tail! 

(Also why is the croc sad at the start? That’s never explained)

This dance is easy, and yet it still feels impossible to do because the coach is so unreliable. 

And the backgrounds are... not good. Apparently this map REALLY hates color. NOT EVEN FOR THE WRISTBAND THAT’S MEANT TO GUIDE THE PLAYER.

You know, this is a commercial for a CHILDRENS MOVIE, and yet you provide NO COLOR.

That’s absurd to me.

Or, I don’t know how children’s entertainment becomes successful for children.

45:

Danger High Voltage (16 Bit Version)

How do you RUIN the concept of a 16 bit map?

This is how!

Destroy the energy of the original.

Make the 16 bit backgrounds inconsistent and hard to follow.

Make your coach fart to remove enemies.

Make your coach DAB.

Did you know that in one of my middle school community productions? We all had to do a dance battle in a superhero themed show in front of several people, and at the end, we were all supposed to strike a superhero pose.

Then, the directors decided to YEET that idea in favor of the entire stage DABBING. Because ‘it's trendy’.

I hated dabbing ever since.

And I hate it when directors use ‘it’s trendy’ as an excuse.

The dancing really kills any potential this map really had, and the moments I pointed out already destroy it. It’s above the others for at least being a dance I can follow.

Ok Tier

44:

Walking On Sunshine

This is not in the bottom tier because the song is actually kinda catchy.

Other than that, this map is NOT GOOD.

I don’t usually mind coach switches because they’re used in clever ways and aren’t just thrown in there. Here though, there is SO MANY switching coaches that it feels nauseating more than anything else. 

And I can tell this is borrowing nostalgia from previous games due to the intro yeeting out a coach for a worse designed version of them. And when half of them are doing their own collective dance, and the other half are doing their own unique one, how am I supposed to understand what to do besides flail about? THE DIRECTIONS DON’T HELP EITHER.

The stick person idea is okay on paper, but is executed terribly. These aren’t stick figures being stick figures, these are knockoffs of previous maps, like I said. And they’re doing a bad job at such.

43:

Stay

There’s only one reason this map is this low.

I HATE this song!

I can’t stand this song.

The censors being incredibly distracting in the map and wherever is the LEAST of it’s problems. I even hate the uncensored version of this song. I think it’s obnoxious and devoid of substance besides trying to win a world record of ‘how much can we cuss in our chorus?’ 

And I don’t even hate songs automatically for cussing. Welcome To The Internet is one of the best songs of all time if you’d ask me.

I’m not even one of those ‘new generation music is bad’ people. But I feel like those kind of people point to this song specifically to make their claim.

That’s the only reason why I’m not playing this map again other than to make this list. Because I don’t like the song.

The map otherwise is okay though. 

The coach looks nice, I think the city background is pretty and I like the defiance of gravity. I think it could have a Spiderverse-esque feel if it went above and beyond with the concept.

Man, those elements just get overshadowed by a terrible song choice though.

42:

Dynamite

Why does this map feel so dirty?

I get the lyric is ‘Funk and Soul’

Yet to me it sounds like ‘F**king Soul’

One of the dancers lift a finger at one point, and they’re in the back so it makes me think it’s a middle finger.

And at the end that same dancer does a pose you see in a lot of sex stuff.

That’s the most interesting thing about this map. The rest of the map did not do it for me. 

The song is... fine.

The choreo is... fine. Though this is the Extreme level, and it wasn’t very hard for me.

The background is... fine. Though they spin the camera around the bar at one point that makes me feel sick. Especially when they show all that junk food afterwards. Unlike a map like Wannabe where the bright colors are controlled with a mundane background without the flare, this map is all bright colors, no exception. This map kinda gave me a seizure. Especially when there’s WAY too much going on.

If you can get behind that, it’s an... okay map. But I don’t think I’m gonna play it again.

41: 

Drivers License

I think this one is either you like it or you don’t.

I don’t.

I don’t like this song. That’s fully personal taste for me. And the map nothing to help me get invested in it. It’s so slow and boring, and the choreo is aggressively repetitive. 

I think this is meant to be an emotional one, yet it’s clearly trying to hard. The entire focus is on these silhouettes of the couple and the coach looking oh so sad the whole time. If the coach is sad, why would I want to dance, you know?

At least I don’t feel sick dancing to this one.

40:

If You Wanna Party

I think this one does get a LITTLE too much flack. The choreo is actually pretty fun to dance to when you actually play it, and for that alone, I do find myself coming back to it. 

Especially Jack Rose’s solo bit. Jack Rose is best coach. I don’t care what anyone says.

What really is the issue here is the song. The song did not do much for me. I don’t find myself listening to this song outside of the map. I am NOT one of those ‘new generation songs suck’ people, I just choose which songs I like and which ones I don’t. I think that’s for a lot of people.

Plus I think the song is pretty nostalgia heavy with these past game maps floating in the background. Personally, I think it would’ve been better to use examples from the first three games or so than what appear to be maps from later in the series. That’s just me tho, and I think it would’ve felt like a better celebration of the franchise than what we got.

I do come back to this one for the choreo, but I personally would’ve been okay with the story mode ending with Majesty.

39:

Telephone (Runaway Version)

I have never been more disappointed with an ALT than this.

You guys probably already know where the original Telephone map is on the list.

For now though, this one is... not great.

First off, they’re seated the whole time.

Second, it’s a duo map, which I don’t like those.

Third, this choreo drains all the energy from the song. There is next to nothing interesting happening to me. I guess the coach’s enthusiasm is enough to save it, and I love the song either way, and I can appreciate the INTENTION of a seated performance, but I expected such a better ALT to Telephone than this.

Why couldn’t we get an Extreme Level of this song?!

38:

Million Dollar Baby

I almost mistaken this one for the real people dance. But TECHNICALLY no.

It’s Ava Max dance coaching her own song with some pretty diamonds everywhere. Pretty pretty.

Whoop dee doo. Moving on.

Good Tier

37:

We Don’t Talk About Bruno

I didn’t know where to place this tbh. I’m still questioning why this exists.

But it has it’s moments. I like how close it resembles the movie version and makes it feel like you’re interacting with the people around you. 

The background characters though... yikes.

And I like the choreo on the bridge solo with Mirabel.

I have nothing else to add, just... why?

36:

Sissy That Walk

The placement is simple: This is just not my thing. But it is well made, and I like the coach singing as well and even being ooped by the censors. Not much else to say.

35:

Heat Waves

I actually find this map kinda wholesome. You know, for a robot map and easy choreo and a song I don’t care for. I dunno, this robot coach is adorable, and there’s nothing really bad about this one.

But the choreo does limit the player a little bit, especially when the robot spins it’s arms. Humans don’t have that joint capability sillyheads!

34: 

Disco Inferno

This one has some value to it for sure. It has a bit of the charm of Magic, just with a devil instead of an angel. It’s not as good as Magic though, and it’s very... twentieth century. (I never heard of this song before, so I don’t know when it was made)

33:

Playground

Here’s a TOTALLY unpopular opinion...

Arcane is AMAZING.

I don’t talk about it on my blog because it contains certain subjects I fear I won’t be able to talk about without offending someone. Kinda like when I review Dhar Mann. However, it’s easily one of the best quality shows of the DECADE. And we’re only at 2023! And I doubt it’s gonna change!

So of COURSE this amazing show was gonna get a Just Dance map. It just makes sense...

And it’s... okay?

I heard a lot of people say Enemy would’ve been better, and... yeah. But Playground is a good song too. I think our love for Enemy overshadows the rest of the good songs in Arcane quite a bit tbh.

I come back to this one quite a bit more than the others I talked about before actually, which is why it’s higher.

Plus the backgrounds are beautiful and the dance resembles Arcane pretty well. I didn’t even expect there to be any of the psychosis scribbles, but I’m glad they added that there.

My biggest gripe with this though is that this should NOT have been an easy level. Arcane is an INSANE show that is FAR from easy to understand. I think to represent the show, the map should’ve been at least a Hard difficulty. 

That would’ve definitely suited Jinx and let her go WILD with this dance. It IS Jinx after all, she would never take things so easy, let alone have her choreo be this repetitive with it’s chorus. 

Or it could’ve had an Extreme ALT with Vi in it at least. That would’ve been AMAZING. 

Yeah I know it’s a commercial for a show like it was for the crocodile map but... come on. There’s a clear difference in potential here. An Extreme ALT to Playground would make you so much money Just Dance! At least I would’ve played it.

32:

More (Seraphine Version)

This is just more More.

*Cue laugh track*

Let me rephrase that.

This is just More but with Seraphine and easier choreo, and more of a stray from the music video it’s based on, which is fine, I’m glad they tried something different.

Unfortunately, the different they came up with isn’t as interesting as the original More to me. It’s just a ton of blue backgrounds, and Seraphine. Though to be fair, Seraphine alone makes this ALT worth it.

31:

Majesty

I’m sorry. This is one of the goofier ones for me.

But I do have to give the song a LOT of credit for it’s style. Replicating ALL of the story mode’s dancers styles into one is genuinely challenging, and I have to give my props to the battle style of it all.

That said, there’s a few things holding it back for me.

I think this kind of level was missed potential. Basically, when the coaches change up all the time, you only get to pick based off of the first coaches and then you go with whoever is on the side of the map. This makes it difficult for people to pick if they want to dance to the Good or Evil of the dance’s story. This is especially the case for Jack Rose, who switches sides halfway through. Yet you only get to dance with him if you pick Evil. But picking Evil also means you have to dance as these boring raven minion things for fifty percent of the song.

The song itself is also... not my cup of tea. I’m sorry, but I can’t get into it.

This makes the entire dance goofy for me, but I guess since it’s a dance battle, that’s the point. But idk, the heart kiss in the direction part (why you blowing a kiss to an evil witch?) And the way Mihaly just shows up in the crowd WATCHING from the sidelines and letting Sara do all the work.

I feel like if they used a different song and you got to choose which of ALL the coaches present you could play as, this could’ve been a masterpiece. But as is, it’s far from that.

30:

Woman

I can actually get behind this map.

And I don’t even like the song that much.

But for what the dance is, it’s actually kinda easy to get into. I like the coach’s designs and I think the choreo, while easy, is still fine to get into. I was expecting this dance to be so much more aggressively sexual given the song it’s attached to, but I was pleasantly surprised. 

There’s not much to say about this one. It’s good. The song just isn’t for me.

29:

Watch Out For This

I have no excuse.

This, quality wise, should not be this high. The choreo and coach designs are hilariously awful. And the song is... geez.

But that’s why I love it. This is THE guilty pleasure map. This is ironic enjoyment. I have a good time with this map and how stupid it is. It’s not well made together, but all it’s faults laugh in its face and come together to make something special.

Everything is SPECTCULARLY mediocre at best.

28:

Radioactive

Yes. I like Radioactive. I think this dance style is very creative and a GREAT arm workout, which is what I’m looking for.

Do not let this fool you. This is a HARD dance to do. That difficulty rating is a lie.

I like how their arms manipulate the backgrounds around them, and the song is... not my favorite from Imagine Dragons. But I don’t hate the song, so I can live with it. Personally, I would’ve gone with Natural.

However, I think this dance is pretty underrated.

27:

Therefore I Am

I don’t really like how the background has the lyrics of the song. It’s annoying, and it also shoves the song’s censors in your face. Which is a shame because otherwise, I wouldn’t have noticed it because I thought the censors were well handled.

This choreo is actually pretty cool to dance to otherwise. And the background is neatly stylized.

And yes, I also looked at Happier Than Ever from 2022. That one is ten times a better Billie Eilish Just Dance map in every single way.

26: 

Can’t Stop The Feeling

This map is THE intro to the game. And it shows. Honestly this song is SO dance worthy that I find it very hard to believe it took THIS long for it to get in a game. (Or was it used in a previous game? Idk, let me know)

I know I said I hated the game using real people, but here it’s fine with me because it’s only in an intro and Sara gets an Alter Ego when she steps into the Danceverse. (I love Sara’s coach design btw) The Danceverse itself is so much fun and the song accompanies that very well. 

Especially when these dimensions are filled with cameos of previous Just Dance games that I know nothing about. (There was a level that took place in a laundry room?)

That’s really what’s holding it back for me. That and the choreo, being easy and all, is nothing special. I think this map is made for nostalgia bait for hardcore Just Dance fans. For casual players like me, I don’t think it’s gonna do much. But it’s fun.

AND THAT ENDING THO-

25:

Good Ones

Good choreo.

Good background.

Good coach.

A little repetitive but it’s all good.

Would’ve been great if it was longer.

It’s a Good One.

*Cue laugh track*

24:

Toxic (Extreme)

Yeah I’m sorry, this Extreme level didn’t do much for me. This is one instance where I feel like the two levels are different enough to be ranked separately. However, I DO prefer the ‘easier’ version of the map to this. 

This one is less creative to me. I get it’s meant to be more ‘dangerous’ with the lasers, but that’s about it. It’s definitely an Extreme level, don’t get me wrong, the rating isn’t a lie, but I don’t care. 

There’s not much story to this map whereas the easier version did. This is just ‘sneak past the lasers’

And there is WAY too much spinning in this choreo, which is crazy of a complaint because of how creative some of these spins are. But they get overshadowed when nearly every part of the song has spinning to it. 

This level, to me, is just ‘More Toxic’

*cue laugh track*

23:

Wouldn’t It Be Nice

This map is SO ADORABLE OMG

But sadly this is only a cover of the song :(

Really though, I love the use of claymation to put this together. Just Dance didn’t have to do this, but they did. 

This, and Pinocchio. Must be the year for claymation.

The dance is so adorable and wholesome, and the backgrounds are so cute that they interact with the song. I like the cat is in the background at one point to foreshadow the ending. Which... WOW.

But sadly it’s a duo map so it loses points for me.

Also I can’t tell if this map hates badgers or they’re just discriminative towards the third wheel of every friend group. Which is occasionally me :(

 Super Tier

22:

Danger! High Voltage

Now THIS is what we call, JUST THROW EVERYTHING OFF THE WALL AND HOPE IT STICKS

And I think with the song, this was the right map to do that. I never even heard of this song before this game, and I don’t think I’d listen to it 24/7, but it’s an okay song.

What really sells this map is the coaches and their wild crazy energy. This dance is just one big punk competition on two people trying to best each other, and that’s literally the context of the map. 

This one, to me, is the ‘let’s pray to god no one’s watching you dance this’ map. Because they’d question what the heck is going on. 

That said, it’s still a duo map. I don’t really like the duo maps. I would do the ALT, but... we talked about it.

21: 

I Knew You Were Trouble

Would’ve been higher if the choreo wasn’t so repetitive. (How is this not ranked easy?)

But I do like the song, and I think the map tells the story very well. Plus I enjoy the cosplay in it.

20:

Boy With Luv (Extreme Version)

I don’t have much to say about this besides... solid. Very solid. The song just isn’t my thing. But it’s still a very well put together map.

19:

Boy With Luv

Same thing. I just like the miniature aesthetic more. 

18:

As It Was

Great visuals. Chill song but it’s fine. And there’s some relaly neat choreo here like kneeling on the floor in a jump. Love that move actually.

WHY IS THERE A RANDOM PLANE ENGINE IN THE MIDDLE-

17:

More

Here’s something that’s totally not unpopular of an opinion, but I LOVE K/DA songs.

Yeah I know, the unfollow button is right there. 

I’ve seen several of the music videos of them, and I listen to a few of the songs on loop.

But I will admit, More is one of my weaker K/DA songs if I were to rank them. That’s why this is one of the weaker Extreme levels for me.

With that said, I don’t think non-K/DA fans know how much effort was put into this map. The backgrounds, the choreo, the costumes, and even the twist at the last chorus, ALL stem from the music video. And yet it doesn’t feel unnatural to me. Honestly, I condemn them for sticking to the spirit of the music video. Right down to SEREPHINE! *fangirl squeal*

If I had any gripes with it, I think the models they used on the girls don’t work for me too well, as their faces are way too wide for the models in the video that I’m used to. Their costumes also aren’t anything special (though that’s not Just Dance’s fault) And again, this is far from my favorite song from K/DA.

I know I said I didn’t play the previous Just Dance games so often, but I did see a ranking video of 2022, saw Pop Stars was a map, and I checked it out. While I think that map clearly favored Akali when the video it’s based on gave all the girls time to shine (and More seemed to fix that as every girl has a solo bit) I do think I like PopStars as a Just Dance map MORE than... well, MORE, because PopStars is one of my favorite K/DA songs next to Villain, I think the models and costumes are better, and it feels less... busy. And even if they favor Akali in the map, it’s not very hard to see why.

That’s just a me thing tho.

16:

Woman (All Mother Version)

Now THIS is an ALT. 

I think the song fits the All Mother so much better than the regular coaches, and she mops the floor with the song’s style. And the choreo here is a lot more fun than the original.

Huh. I prefer an ALT over the original. How about that?

15:

Sweet But Psycho

RASPUTIN, YOU DREADED NIGHTMARE.

Despite that, this map is real pretty. This is definitely one of the more chaotic maps, but I think it works in it’s favor. And the costume of the coach and the rose petals?! WOW.

With that said, this choreo is repetitive. Nearly every chorus is the same. Right down to the verses as well.

It’s a well put together map though, but KEEP RASPUTIN AWAY FROM ME.

14:

Psycho

This one is definitely something special. I think the map utilizes the song to the max. I love the castle going out of sorts as the song goes on, you know, actually UNDERSTANDING what the phrase psycho means! (Sorry Sweet but Psycho)

I also LOVE the costumes of these coaches.

So why is this not any higher?

The choreo.

I’m SORRY. But this isn’t very strong choreo for me. There’s some bits I liked but others I found goofy, like the part where they hold each other and just bop for no reason. I don’t mind goofy choreo if it’s a goofy map, but this is designed to be a more sophisticated map. 

And also, Extreme level? No. This was NOT very hard of a dance for me. This feels more like a Hard bordering Medium for me.

If it lived up to the Extreme level label, maybe this’d be higher.

13:

Anything I Do

This song is SO EXHAUSTING.

And that’s a good thing.

I love the style and feel of this map, especially for a song I’ve never heard before. If it weren’t for the slow mo of the dancers in the background and the excessive dropping, which gets old pretty quick and becomes predictable, this could’ve easily made the next tier up.

Perfect Tier

12:

Magic

This is going to sound INCREDIBLY stupid, but...

This map, to me, is CRAZY underrated.

Technically, it’s not the most complicated choreo in the world and is definitely repetitive. (a lot of the easy levels are, to be fair)

However, everything else about the map makes me so giddy whenever I play it. I come back to this level so many times because it’s such a feel good map. The coach is gorgeous, the stars and rainbows help the magic feel, the song itself is magic *cue laugh track*

And the lights around the last third are a very sweet edition.

This is one of my cooldown maps after a workout honestly. Quality wise compared to the others, I shouldn’t love this one as much as I do, but I do anyway. It’s my ranking.

(Also this coach is my avatar)

11:

Rather Be

This one is REALLY underrated. If you were to ask me which of the story mode’s dance style I fall in line the most with, it’s Mihaly. 

I can definitely get behind their choreo and the map itself is TOTALLY my style. You know how many times I’ve escaped reality with earbuds and go to magical places? 

My college hates earbuds for some reason :(

My biggest gripe is that for a song about going off to imaginary places, they use the same examples every time. I think there’s a bit of wasted potential there. But the world we got is still nice to look at.

This map also has a panda, which reminds me of my sibling, and they never wanna dance with me, so this song is the best way I can dance with them.

Great map that deserves more attention.

10:

Toxic

Is this a remaster? 

This is too good for a remaster. I love the secret agent story behind it and the plane background. I love how the coach is disguised for most of the dance, which makes her red spy costume all the more eye catching. I love the choreo for this one, I love how two guys in the VIP section are taking a bath together and yet Just Dance thinks ‘sex’ deserves to be censored, I love how the third chorus has the dancing make her DODGE LASERS, and I love how the pilot dude is okay with this spy flying the plane in the end. I dunno, he’s just like ‘Eh, I’ve been kidnapped and tied up, but she’s hot, so I’ll gladly lose my career and put my passengers in danger.’

I guess the only thing is that the coach is sliding across the scene the whole time and it looks a bit silly.

Great map tho.

9:

Love Me Land

The biggest problem with this map is that it’s too short.

Mostly because the song is too short.

This song is so groovy and fun with excellent choreography that is my jam to dance to. The coach is HOT. The lighting is fantastic. The map, while only one room, utilizes it to the fullest. It’s just a GREAT MAP...

AND IT’S TOO SHORT.

If it was a longer map, this could’ve easily been higher.

8:

Witch

A deliciously villain song. Or dance in this case.

The choreo is repetitive, but I think it works for the witch character, who just wants to control the other dancers to her movements. And there’s still some really impressive parts as well, my favorite part with the arches moving like ticks on clocks.

Great map.

7:

Physical

You know when I said I played this game for a workout?

Well this map seemed to have that in mind.

I LOVE the map just for that. The warmup stretches at the start? THAT GOLD MOVE WHEN YOU GET ON THE FLOOR?! The coach being an energetic queen? The people dancing with her? 

This is SO CLOSE to making the top tier. The only thing holding it back is that the choreo in the chorus gets repetitive. It’s fun choreo, but it unfortunately bugs me using it in every chorus with little to no alteration. If it wasn’t for that, it would be top tier.

With that said, I still love this map. Again, the energy is through the roof. It’s been awhile since I heard the song, but I’m glad it’s in the game because it really makes you want to dance. I love the mall background as well, as the interactions with the people in it makes the entire place feel alive, even the colors that get added as you dance are you kidding me?! And I don’t even like malls.

Really, if I were to do the game for the sole purpose of working out, this one is gonna be one of my first picks. 

YEAH Tier

6:

Physical (Extreme Version)

The issue I had with the original is gone. And the choreo is harder. 

This is basically if the original had no problems and made it to this tier. All the love I had for the original applies here for the most part, except here it’s completely solo designed specifically for workout purposes.

But I am NOT doing that split at the end. You can’t make me.

Now all we need is an Extreme Version to Locked Out Of Heaven and Rather Be.

LESS Zooby Doo Just Dance. Give us what we want!

5:

Locked Out Of Heaven

Jack Rose is best coach.

At first, this looks like a regular good level, but actually experiencing the map itself is on another level. 

A wannabe dancer being in the show of an oppressive figure who disapproves of their dancing pride is an okay idea for like, a story. But this is a Just Dance map, the simplicity of that story makes it so much deeper. Especially when we actually get to dance with them as though we’re cheering them on.

I love how the witch is constantly in the background to show that she’s watching him. I love the mic thing he has to dance with. (I actually danced to this with a broomstick) I love how that doesn’t get in the way of the choreo.

Said choreo is excellent. It’s nothing extreme, but it doesn’t need to be. It’s a dance to let loose to and imagine yourself in another world where you’re loved and seen, just like the coach imagines. 

The only gripe is the word ‘Sex’ being censored for no reason. 

I can get past the censors in the game, I know they’re necessary, and they don’t distract me in most maps because the focus is the dance. This is an exception though. ‘Sex’ is not a bad word.

Danger High Voltage had ‘hell’ in it, and no one censored that. That’s bs to me.

Really, that gripe only makes me want to sing to the map when I play it, and I think that makes the experience with the map better for me, so... what could I complain?

Let me know, is Jack Rose in any other Just Dance games? Is he basically the Bruno Mars dancer?

4:

Numb

An artist painting their brains out of a numb state of creativity.

Incredible.

I ADORE this map’s art direction with the pastels. And yet somehow none of it feels like too much. Given the map’s context, too much is kinda what it’s going for. 

The coach is phenomenal as well, in both versions of themselves. With the colored version it’s a little hard to see their arms with the sleeves, but I think that’s the point. This choreo wants you to let it all loose.

The way the dance transitions to black and white to all these rapid colors, to the glass shards making both sides collide so seamlessly?!

If I was more familiar with the song, this could’ve made top three.

3:

Bring Me To Life

Did this have to HIT as hard as it did? No. But it did anyway.

This map is phenomenal in so many ways. And I do not usually say that about the duo maps. It makes the Gold Move hard to do without a partner, and with someone like me, doing the Gold Move even with a partner would be... impossible.

That’s the ONLY issue though. The rest of the map is near PERFECT. 

I grew up with Evanescence music, and this is my favorite song of theirs. This map not only dances to the song, but they TELL A STORY using the song as well!

These doll coaches are out of time in their happy little clock tower, and though they want to be saved and live longer, the tower’s destroyed, and they themselves have to accept their own demise. 

That is HEAVY for Just Dance. And yet it portrays it subtly enough that it does not feel like it’s trying too hard (unlike some other maps).

The choreo also tells this story, with the split being them reaching out to the 4th wall with the ‘save me’ lyric accompanying it. The solo parts of each dancer having the other one reaching out to them. The end part being a hug as they vanish?! 

The costumes of the coaches, the tower, the clock background, it’s all phenomenal with it’s atmosphere. It sets the rest of the dance and hooks you in as you just immerse yourself in the dance.

This song deserved an ALT for the people doing the dance solo.

2:

Wannabe

So... I have a few things to say about this one.

First, the song. Before Just Dance, I’ve NEVER heard this song before. But now that I have heard it... YEAH!

I listen to this song on loop now, and currently am as I’m writing this.

And the backgrounds? YEAH!

Are they borrowing from Spiderverse? Not very likely, but still, this map just POPS in the color department and somehow does not feel busy. I don’t know how you pull that off. (Maybe it’s the city background looking mundane on purpose to make this comic book world come to life?)

I dance to this one multiple times JUST so I can catch every detail of the map. And I still don’t think I scratched the surface. The colored sound wave on the speakers? The comic book transitions to different areas of the city? The speech bubbles displaying the lyrics? The effort and creativity is off the roof! I’m scared to take my eyes off the map for even a second because I feel like I missed something.

And it’s not like the dance is lacking either. This is probably my favorite Extreme level choreo of the entire game. I am dead serious. I’m a bad dancer, and yet I want to learn this dance better, especially cosplay as these coaches. 

Easy Top Tier map for me. I was caught by surprise for sure.

1:

Telephone

You knew this one would be #1 before you even clicked on the post.

You were just here to see how I ranked the other maps.

Every other ranking I’ve seen has this at either number 1 or number 2, and the ones who put it at number 2 only did so because they had some sort of bias towards their number 1.

After playing it myself...

They weren’t wrong.

They are absolutely right.

EVERYTHING about this map is complete and utter PERFECTION.

I don’t even know where to begin!

First off, the song. This is one of my favorite Lady Gaga songs. I could not be happier seeing this song in the game this time. And I didn’t even anticipate the map to be my favorite at first. 

Second, the aesthetic. Genius. For those who don’t know, there’s an extended cut of the song, which is mostly just talking and less song. Basically, it tells the story of a party fanatic getting bailed out of prison and being on the run. Welp, apply it as the aesthetic to the Just Dance map and give us one of the best costumes for a coach of the game! (I love this outfit to death)

Third, the choreo. It’s just Medium level, and yet it has as much energy and pizazz as an Extreme level, without even being an Extreme level. The stomping everywhere, the hand motions, crouching down with sass, the other criminal girls yanking your coach with strings, the upper body only part with the phone and banging at the cell wall?! And so many other moments tat would take forever to mention. Suffice to say, I love Lady Gaga maps. Even before I even got the game, I always wanted to do the Lady Gaga maps.

And what do you know? The coaches from those maps return here and get a bit of the song to themselves! What more do you want? This feels like a tribute to her work for the franchise. And yet these cameos don’t overshadow the main coach of the dance or the others. They’re a part of the map’s story as well. They’re ALL in that prison!

(There’s also the bridge with their mugshots)

This song is on all my playlists in Just Dance, and will probably continue to be on them. I love Telephone that much, for even more reasons than I can give detail to. (The end where they basically just say ‘That’s it, I’m out’? Are you kidding me?!)

There you go, that’s my ranking. Don’t ask me to do the other games.

And Happy New Year and Happy 2023!

[ventingoutmyass]

7.19.24

idk. like. sometimes you want to say something because you know time is limited, but you just don't have really anything to say at that moment.

I don't want to leave everyone with nothing. it's hard to connect the person you know with their words from years ago, when they clearly had plenty to say in the last months. but I don't really have much, I suppose.

I guess a goal would be to say as much as possible as time runs out. I know how frustrated I get, trying to read what I'd written when things were at their worst to find nearly nothing.

I guess lately I'm thinking more about what's important, and what I want to be important. the last few months I've been seeing glimpses, real and naturally occuring habits of true friendship and loyalty. why did these skills come so late. why did I have to get them just as time is running out. but I know why. because other than my brother, I have one good friend. not counting distant family or exes that I go months without talking to. one friend, that talks to me literally every day, and has for years. one that's always done everything right and somehow, I began to replicate it. having one friend meant being able to focus on one friend. for years i juggled dozens of people who relied on me as much as this one does, and i wonder how i was ever able to convince myself i could do it. I've had much guilt for this one friend, for being the only one I couldn't push away. I knew the fate that would come. and I've been selfish. and I can't bring myself to regret it anymore. I've forgotten what friendship felt like. she reminds me.

I've worked on my project more, just in silly little micro projects and more character exploration. I suppose a goal would to be to create something cohesive, that could be shared along with this. probably not, but it's a goal.

I've been reading more, both books and fics. keeping lists and reading easy stuff has kept the motivation high. whenever my brain is equipped, I'm usually reading.

video games have been big for me for about a year and a half, since I was gifted my switch. every single waking moment was spent on animal crossing for about eight months. and that's when I still worked at the coffee truck, almost all of my time was freetime. stardew valley a few months ago, I have over a thousand hours logged between the two. don't ask for specifics I will not admit them. and the last week or so has been the pokemon sword game I got for my birthday that I'd forgotten about bc there was stardew valley to play.

trying to be good to others has been a challenge. getting pushed and pulled in different directions for different people has been hard. the emotional labor is unreal. but people deserve it. if I'm able to give it, it's duty. balance is key, balance is struggle, balance haunts every single moment of every single day and man... some days I do cave and just run to the drive thru and mindlessly watch easy to digest YouTube. yesterday was one of those days. I usually have one about once a week. variables that make any given moment difficult never stop. theres always something that's slowing me down. you may call it excuses. I call it living disabled.

the no new friends rule was my effort to die as selflessly as possible. but I seemed to overlook something crucial.

the human experience is selfish. we live and die alone. we are dangerously social creatures fated to isolation in this state of the world. we crave human connection. we may be so far disconnected that we don't know it, but we all do. I'm far from the exception.

once again, I remind you this could've been different. separation from eachother, the lack of community, brought us to this. ignorance and loss of proper communication brought us to this. it could've been better with solidarity. it could've been better if certain people, hundreds to thousands of years ago, hadn't decided to take far far more than they needed. if we lived without poverty and fear and borders and everything that disconnects us, I could've lived. with the social support and patience and accommodations, I could've made it. if life could've been easy. if I hadn't been taught so endlessly from so young how little my efforts count. if I hadn't been berated for every way I exist from so small. this conditioning never would've occurred. I never would have rewired that first time. I could've been an extension of my twelve year old self, before I was so harshly put out.

if the right people listened. if the right people noticed. if the right people stepped up. the right support net could've been everything. I know it because I see it for others. some grow up to craft it themselves. lack of options always stopped me, the roadblocks I possibly could cover always stopped me. more recently the desperate fear of loss stopped me from looking for anything worth keeping.

I suppose I have no option but to seek it.

what's left to lose?

[mojaves]

3-10 for murphy tee hee

MURPHY TIME MURPHY TIME MURPHY TIME i need to yell about him more actually

3. How would they fare in a zombie apocalypse?

it depends on what murphy era it would be. like. stickman era he would die within a few days i think whrjfjf he is Smart but he is not healthy in the least so his brain would not help him in the process of withering away and dying. actual functional human man era murphy would do a LOT better and last a lot longer bc he Knows how to handle himself. he knows how to use a gun. dangerous scientist.

4. Where do they see themselves in five years? Ten?

he doesnt like thinking that far into the future it scares him, mostly bc in his line of work [and how reckless/impulsive he can be] he doesn't imagine a future for himself. he sees himself dying before 30 and gets scared and it sends him spiralling so he would much rather take it one week at a time or else he will throw up

5. What's their most useless, weirdest, or least marketable skill?

he glows in the dark on account of the kaiju blood in him. it serves absolutely no purpose. no one sees him in the dark anyway so no one would even Know he's bioluminescent. sometimes he will sit in his lab in the dark and go Hehe I'm A Little Light Boy. (: and then carries on like he did not just say that

6. What are they like in the bedroom - well-rounded lover or wooden plank?

you would imagine he is a plank bc he is So awkward around people and is not a people person in the slightest. but he knows what he likes and knows how to treat them right. he is very special and unpredictable in every facet of his life

7. Have they committed a crime before? Which one(s)?

murder. theft. arson. idk if potentially dangerous/borderline unethical experiments on himself count but theres also that. is he a little unstable? maybe. who cares he looks very pretty while doing it

8. If they were an animal, which one would they be? Which one would they think they'd be?

these questions always stump me i can never think of any animals wjdjfjf he would be. a cat. doesnt warm up to you very fast but once he's gotten over that barrier he will Not leave you alone. AND he is full of love. he would say he'd be a fly bc no one likes him BWEHFJFFHF. he has issues ok

9. Do they cheat to win or play by the rules?

entirely depends on the situation and who he's with but the majority of the time he decides rules dont apply to him and he can do whatever he wants. mostly with experiments, and what he can and can't test on himself. "no you cant do that you WILL die" they say. "ok" he says as he does it anyway and somehow lives to tell the tale. he likes finding answers.

10. What do they fantasize about?

having friends,,, or at least just, people who appreciate/tolerate his presence, who dont mock him the second they see him. he just wants to love and know that he is loved by others, and that he can keep them safe,,, he may be insane but he loves with every inch of himself

[girlscience]

i just want to read about wraith, specifically, MY idea of wraith, but no fic is getting it right, and over 80% of the fics are tagged with McKay/Sheppard and i just DON'T ship that at all... so i am struggling