#would they be shitty because he's broke af?

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

miscellaneous fellow honest headcanons

These aren't following any prompt in particular, these are just thoughts I had when I saw the guy hammin' it up and then turning on us.

Some of these headcanons are informed by fan art I've seen and discussions I've had with friends, while others are purely me.

Curiouser and Curiouser...

He calls people “little lads” and “little ladies”.

Fellow has a very noticeable laugh. Like, he grunts and snorts and has tears rolling down his cheeks. (He tends to laugh at others’ misery, thinking of it as “retribution” or “payback” for the injustices he has suffered himself.)

Bro shaves using a knife (yes, he shaves because he is a grown ass man) because razors are hella expensive.

He uses that cheap cologne and cakes it on THICK. This, in his mind, gives off the impression that he’s a well-off and put-together individual you should tooootally trust.

Also the type of person that lays it on thick with his words. If he’s trying to impress a date or something, he’ll shower them with so many compliments it almost seems fake. But no, he’s just the type to simp hard when he happens to be genuine 💀 most of the time he’s faking it though—

He’s very street smart, but in a way where he confuses hostile people by talking over them and acting overly friendly. They usually stuns them long enough for him and Gidel to skedaddle.

If he gets dumped, he'd be the pathetic whimpering boyfriend that begs for his ex to take him back. When they inevitably don't, he mopes all day about it.

He chain smokes and aggressively drinks as a coping mechanism on his bad days 😔 and sometimes he gambles (like, on those scratch-off cards) hoping that he'll strike it rich and buy him and Gidel a better life...

Basically, he generally does not have his shit together but tries his best to pass like someone who does (and usually succeeds at it).

Fellow appears in public wearing his full suit, but at home (ie whatever ratty temporary housing their boss found for them before they move on to the next place) he just wears a T-shirt and lounges around in boxers (and sometimes socks with holes in them).

He uses those disposable eyeshadow wands that snap in half at the slightest bit of too much pressure. Fellow acts like the Claire’s kid makeup he uses is the luxury stuff, but Vil can tell the pigmentation isn’t all there and there’s MAD fallout.

He may be broke AF and have his moments of emotional spiraling, but he has pretty decent budgeting skills. Fellow lives for sales and does extreme couponing to stretch their money as far as it will go.

He invests in other cost-saving methods like wearing shoes until the sole is literally flopping off and just adding water to residual soap in a pump bottle to make the soap "last longer".

Fellow is really good at cutting food (bread, beans) thin to conserve it. Yes, this is a reference to an old Mickey Mouse cartoon—

When he was younger, he had dreams of being an actor (and, more specifically, starring in musicals). That's why he's often humming, swinging around his cane, and/or whistling as he's on the prowl for idiots to sucker—they're remainders of his thespian days before his dreams were crushed into itty bitty pieces.

Man looks like he'd be great at tap dancing.

Before his current gig, he tried a bunch of other scams including a MLM at one point to get by. His signature spell came in pretty clutch in those days too.

Fellow’s not that good at reading or spelling—in fact, he was never a particularly strong student. (“I didn’t fail school!! The schools failed ME!!”) He’s easily frustrated by academics and thinks there should be more hands-on and practical skills taught in learning institutions.

I think it's a given that he and Ruggie would be besties since they both want to eat the rich but I also think Fellow would kiss ass to Azul and then rage about how shitty + entitled Azul is (Azul reminds Fellow of his boss)💀 Scammers hate other scammers because they're both competing to scam the same people--

Even though Fellow is an asshole to most others (well, when he’s not flattering them to lure them into a trap), he’s always nice to Gidel and puts him first. If there’s ever a situation where they’re short on something (clothes, food, etc), Gidel gets priority. This is why Gidel has a full outfit (even if parts are patches or mismatched) whereas Fellow himself has a glove that is so worn out there’s a hole in one of the pinkie fingers.

Fellow may not be blessed with a bounty of magic, but he’s quick on his feet and good with words. Because of these skills, he’s talented at spinning bedtime stories, which he often tells to Gidel to help him fall asleep on nights that are particularly cold and nasty.

Gidel still believes in Santy Claws and wishing upon stars, and Fellow doesn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. He’ll figure it out on his own one day, Fellow thinks. He just doesn’t want to be the one to ruin those childhood joys for him.

Playing pretend is another shared past time of theirs. It helps Fellow get into character before he goes off to swindle people, and it gives Gidel a way to express himself in spite of being mute. They have a routine they do together where Fellow pretends to be a doctor diagnosing a patient and Gidel takes down notes for him as his medical scribe. Yes, this is a Pinocchio reference—

They actually have many more games they play (mainly because they cannot afford other forms of entertainment). Some of the games are clever ruses conjured by Fellow to teach Gidel survival tips and tricks: the who-can-make-their-piece-of-bread-last-longer game, hide-and-seek (from the authorities), etc.

For special occasions, Fellow saves up some money on the side to grant Gidel little luxuries, like a box of crayons to doodle with.

Gidel hugs Fellow’s leg or waist to cheer him up when he’s upset. He also hides behind Fellow when he’s scared or feeling shy.

He’s just really attached to Gidel cuz they have no one else in this cruel world, just them against the world 😔 He sees a lot of his younger self in the little boy… the opportunities lost because of their circumstances… “It’s alright, Gidel. Leave it to Fellow-sama.”

[xyfanficarchive]

I'm really curious to hear your thought's on this scenario...

How would Jimmy be with a gf that's far more privileged than him? Grew up in the suburbs, wealthy parents, a very stable family life, pretty spoiled.. But still makes sure that he knows that she really loves him.

honestly… one of the most salient points about jimmy’s character is his massive inferiority complex. he would try a relationship, if he thought you were attractive enough. and i’m not saying he’s entirely using you, but he does recognize that getting with you would be a huge benefit for him, cause he’s broke af. i think he does crave real love, and it could be sweet, in his own way, for a little while at least. your affection feels good. he wants it to work.

but eventually, this huge jealousy and resentment would come bubbling up. he’s mad as hell that you had life handed to you on a silver platter, and it’ll come out in snide little remarks, just this bitter undertone to his interactions with you. much like his relationship with curly. and i get the sense that like, he’s a guy who’s trying so fucking hard to prove himself to everyone around him and has a hard time believing that people who care about him don’t see him as lowly as he sees himself. so that resentment and paranoia are gonna make a toxic chemical reaction where even though you show him how much you genuinely love him, he’s gonna have a harder and harder time believing it. because like, why would you? your life was gilded growing up and he came from nothing, and he has an unsavoury past, and everyone in your life thinks youre too good for him. so there must be some ulterior motive to you being with him, like making yourself feel better and look better by comparison next to him and he’s gonna needle you about it and make all sorts of shitty assumptions about you and you’ll be hurt because, what the fuck, Jimmy? yah nobody needs to have someone lower than them to feel good about themselves but you and every other traumatized fucked up human being like you. the man needs extensive extensive therapy.

[chillinglikeashilling]

Anyway it's not my otp but I think Sam x Evan would be fun because I keep picturing Sam being the very famous very beloved host of a TV show that is internationally acclaimed and the obssession her fans would have with the fact that she's dating Evan, who to them is 'just a dude'.

I think Evan would see Sam's fans call him boring but nice enough and speculate why Sam broke up with Timothee Chalamet to date a nobody, and be so stunned that such a large number of people could be aware of his existence and have the prevailing opinion that's he completely uninteresting that he may start crying tears of joy.

I think that Evan would take Sam seriously, because he's fundamentally aware of how capable Sam is, and more importantly of how afraid and aware she is that other people don't. Evan wouldn't let thoughtless or intentionally rude/snarky comments about Sam slide regardless of what setting they were in, and this would be good for Sam because she has someone to back her up and remind her those people are being shitty to her. (This would also endear a large part of her fanbase to Evan).

Also I'm still of the opinion that Sam and K dated before Gowpenny so I think it's absolutely very funny and in keeping with my own queer friend groups to think of one person's exes starting to date each other but also that person's current dynamic with each ex are wildly different.

And finally, I think Jammer would be extremely glad that he is not involved in any of that but he would send Evan all the funniest memes Sam's fans make about her boring af boytoy and listen to K panic about what to get their exes for Christmas.

[blank468]

Oh look another unhinged wonder boy Stan who thinks every scene with Bakugo and Deku has to deal with romance. Once again I’m not revealing who this person is to protect their identity but you’ll most likely find them on Twitter if you search hard enough. Three things in particular that proves that they don’t care about what’s happening in the story or if it even makes sense. The only thing that’s important to the eyes of these people is whether the Green Jesus and the Creator’s pet will bang or not.

I’m not sorry.

“Katsuki being overly protective in their relationship, he's always making sure to keep Izuku in line. In an actual relationship it's good to have a partner who is making sure you're not mistakingly saying anything private or personal.”

This person tries to claim that after their second fight, Bakugo was being over protective to Deku as in the way he acts and treats him moving forward is another sign of love. Yeah because him throwing his sharp head piece into Deku head causing him to bleed is a sign of protection and love. Deku in that scene wasn’t even talking about his improvements with Blackwhip out in the open, he said that all in his head. The only I can think of as to B***h boy doesn’t like to see Deku be happy about anything. How romantic.

There was also that one scene in the Endeavor Agency arc where Deku was explaining his quirk and how he wants to improve to Endeavor and Bakugo gets triggered. People like to make the argument that Deku was telling him way too much information about OFA, but does it really matter? Endeavor surprisingly understood what Deku meant and didn’t reveal anything that would get him caught.

I know that Deku almost revealed OFA out in the open(USJ Arc), but that clearly on accident and was in fear for All Might’s condition. And after that he clearly understood how important it was to keep the secret hidden, until the neighbor’s Pomeranian decided to step in and make things insufferable.

So basically Deku was actually being the smart one with these situations and Bakugo was just full of s**t.

“Being vulnerable in a relationship is also important because you feel safe and comfortable enough to show your true emotions around the other, which is Katsuki in this case.”

While being vulnerable is essential in a relationship, that does excuse your behavior and how you treat your partner especially if it’s extremely toxic and stressful. This series can go on all it wants on how Sweaty Pits here feel insecure and vulnerable when he doesn’t get what he wants, but none of that changes that fact that Bakugo had no right to defend himself or justify his shitty behavior when he knows what he’s done is wrong. And even after he EXPRESSES his emotions after losing in technicality to Deku in the battle trials and throwing a child like tantrum all because he wasn’t picked to be All Might’s successor, it doesn’t really matter cause the story finds a way to reward him and guilt trip Deku for no reason.

“Katsuki wants to spend the rest of their lives chasing each other. He wants a future with Izuku and he broke down in front of him cause he's scared they won't be able to.”

Yeah cause apparently there aren’t enough moments where D**k cheese here wins against Deku. All the physical and mental torment Deku had to go through has no meaningful conclusion and are now pointless because the story now decides it wants to support the worst kind of deviant behavior. We have to go through another damn fight/situation that goes through the same process.

1. Deku and My Sweaty Pits git in to a fight.

2. Deku despite being broken AF loses to Bakugo

3. More gloating

I just accepted that Horikoshi will never let his main character beat his most popular character ever in a fight. We’re just supposed to accept the idea that Bakugo is able to beat Deku despite the fact that his victim has several different quirks that could have killed him. I can only imagine if get another round with these two idiots, we all now who’s going to come out on top.

In conclusion, this person and the rest of these stans are delusional.

[asinglemagpie]

The Golden Raven: Here Be Spoilers 10 (Once More With Feeling)(Chapter 22)

Oof those were some heavy chapters... Now I'm well rested, let's dive into more!

Why didn't they flop on anyone's couches? Rhemann would have taken them in, surely!

Can we start a fund to order some takeout from a very specific restaurant? Neil knows the one.

When your therapist helps get access to money... you gotta admit sometime that you're in so shitty a situation that they would risk their career to help you even the smallest bit.

Okay look. Thea is a touchy subject from what I've seen, especially regarding Kevin, so I'll be brief. She and Kevin should not have happened - she was far too old and he far too young. But. We have to remember that the Nest ran on its own twisted set of rules and morality, and nothing they did was outside of the lines that they had been bullied and tortured into. I do not think they are good for each other. Kevin needs someone to be more than exy with. Someone who can knock him down a few pegs and then hold his hand as they rebuild him into something better. Thea is what he needed, but now she holds him rigidly in place when he should be blossoming.

That said, she sounds hot AF and I'd stick around too so...

The fact that Kevin is letting himself be annoyed with a camera in his face? The interview either broke him from being "I must have a perfect public persona", or shit going on that we're not privvy to yet has gnawed through him and this is what he's got left.

AARON DRIVING THE MAS MEANS MORE TO ME THAN I CAN EXPRESS OKAY?! 😭

It never gets old calling Kevin "Queen" (always capitalised).

Andrew showing signs of taking to heart what Jean said is also INSANE. Like... He's forgoing one of the significantly few things he finds comfort and calm in because he won't risk being too slow to save Neil? I... I just... 😭

How does their relationship even work anyway? They never see each other, I doubt they call each other because they don't seem the type. Just... ???

Thea's harsh AF but totally correct statement. Honestly she has to be scary as fuck and again I'm not entirely against that...

Kevin and the moment of "well I can't fix that".

Spader also being incredibly correct. Sadly the Ravens do NOT have access to adequate mental healthcare.

The fact that the FBI know who started the fire, but Laila's family doesn't sits weirdly with me. I can't decide if I'm misunderstanding, or if Nora is frantically waving a red flag.

William is still one of my favourites.

Warren however can choke on a whole bag of thorny dicks.

In a just universe, a recording of that conversation would have fucking ruined the Wilshires. Alas there is no just universe and skinbags of anal leakage like this cunt get away with this shit.

Jean getting to truly own something of his own choosing 😍

Honestly I'm 50/50 on the "are they suicides or murders?" purely because Ichirou wouldn't draw eyes onto the Ravens, and by extension the Moriyama name, by just bumping them off. There would have been a couple of tragic accidents, people got rattled and performed badly, pushing some to that point, but it would be so much... Less. Than how it's going down. BUT those three going in such quick succession - when there's been days for what Thea said to sink in - just seems... Too coincidental. Hella fucking sloppy though. Like suspiciously sloppy. Are we sure it's Ichirou we should be looking at? Or any Moriyama at all?

Laila taking her life in her hands riding pillion 😂

Jean quietly absorbing everything he can about a Jeremy he doesn't know.

Jean openly choosing a path where there are no Ravens is just... Everything.

Kevin isn't a Raven. He's fine on a technicality.

Jeremy thinking he's taking it out of context when he's very much in the right context lol.

[mswyrr]

“The Bear” 2x10 SPOILERS

“I don't need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I don't need to receive any amusement or enjoyment. I'm completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this feels.“

This quote and the whole performance is one of the best examples I’ve seen in film/tv of the way anxiety and trauma can hurt internally enough that you’d rather try to be less alive--just cut off entire parts of life--than feel it.

He had two trauma triggers (Mom being invited and being in a situation that reminded him of the abusive chef) and boom. This hurts so much I don’t want to be here. I can’t stand being here. Michael killed himself; Carmy buries himself alive emotionally. That’s why he’s never had friends or dated before.

It’s a powerful depiction of mental illness and the like “was he being a jerk in x moment?” stuff doesn’t work for me. Because until he gets some help... uh, sadly, this is literally the best he can come up with to deal. It’s sad af but that moment where Sydney is like “well just don’t be shitty” and he’s like “oh, okay, I’ll just do that then” captures it: sometimes a person literally doesn’t know what better is and/or cannot physically get there because their brain/biochemistry is FUCKED and won’t let them any more than someone with an untreated broken leg can run a marathon.

And, sorry, no - Al Anon chatting with other family members of addicts is not anywhere near the same league as getting actual therapy. Though this show is right: a ton of Americans like Carmy work hard and yet cannot afford to access actual therapy. So they self-medicate with substances or engage in super fucked emotional numbing self-destructive behavior like Carmy is doing.* Other tools are literally out of reach - Which is pretty fucking ugly, huh? Though probably some of the right anxiety medication from an MD would help a fair bit if combined with the Al Anon meetings. But meetings alone cannot do it when there’s this clinical physical problem. Again: you can’t fix a broken leg with PT.** The PT comes after you’ve treated the physical damage.

*isolating yourself and denying yourself any joy in life is a form of self-harm 

**and Al Anon isn’t even PT!! Therapy would be PT in this analogy and he can’t get to that because he’s broke

[devilishmango]

My poor Sin.. aww that nightmare scene broke my heart. And Sin still out here confused af. Like there's Will... then I really want my Mc to remember being hopelessly inlove with Murmur because they are just everything and then I'm like hella intrigued by Dani. So many playthroughs because Devi can't write shitty ROs.

Let's be honest tho if you wrote an asshole RO you would probably find a way to write them appealing anyway 😒

�� to be honest, my favorite characters tend to be assholes with a secret heart of gold... I'm unsure if any of the ROs in either story could fit it? All the ROs in SoS are kind of all... nice? But, as you'll see a little later in the story, Dani can be a bit unpredictable.

I guess Hal can be a bit of an asshole... But whether he has a heart of gold or not is to be seen. lol And Demo was kind of an asshole too, I guess.

Anyway, I'm glad you're liking SoS so far. Your comments always make my day!! 😊

[smokeygrayrabbits]

I have no explanation for this, but it needs to be out of my notes app.

I've been thinking about modern au trigun. stampede specifically but take your pick.

just . . . divorced dad vibes older brother knives trying to spoil the heck out of tiny little broke vash who is moved out on his own and is also really bad at money

like,,,, maybe SEEDS was a cutting edge tech company from forever ago. maybe vash and knives are still immortal, and so when the giant rich company that raised them (experimentation? adoption? who knows.) went under after a massive fire, vash and nai saverem inherit everything. but it's locked away until they turn 18 because idk bank stuff or something, so they're functionality broke, homeless orphans for a while. maybe vash lost his arm in the fire or something. maybe the sold it for parts idk.

little genius babies become the only plant engineers in the world overnight, with plants having been a new cutting edge technology only in development by the seeds corporation. baby nai starts inventing stuff and maybe becomes a mob/cult boss or something and drags them out of poverty.

nai wants to get back to the tech industry luxury and rebuild, vash has fallen in love with humanity and life and wants to live with the people and be part of society.

they grow up. nais doing some sketchy stuff and is now the head of his own company. vash is,,, idk college maybe? couch surfing? NO I GOT IT! HES LIVING OUT OF A VAN!!! for fun, but also because it's how he grew up and he feels most at home on the road not in the big empty house where nai is never home.

nai is very exasperated by his brothers lifestyle choices, but also very over protective, so he's always sending vash fancy expensive things and making sure vash has connections wherever he goes.

also!! vash wasn't/isn't oblivious to nais illegal dealings. he helped him run the mob for years when they were younger, but never liked the violent side of it

he mostly delt with like, maintaining relationships between smaller local gangs and organizations in other cities, all of whom adore the funky lil baby who would come visit them and consult on their crimes

so yeah. rich people wanna be the saverems, and crimy broke people love them! (because of course any mob partially run by vash would take care of the community). nai makes a point of bringing people from his illegal buissness into his fully legal and very profitable professional one, mostly at vash's request and recommendation.

after a while of this, vash is like "I wanna see the world!! :D".

nai is very worried about this. his baby brother is leaving the nest!!! nai knows how dangerous the world is, heck, he runs half the danger! but vash is stubborn AF so he goes on tour.

probably ends up meeting Meryl and wolfwood and Roberto and/or Milly somewhere along the line, all of whom are very confused about the rich tech mogul who lives in a van and eats packaged ramen with wagyu beef. Meryl smells a story. Roberto smells a rat. wolfwood is a simp.

shenanigans ensue.

throw in a little livio tried to steal from one of nais operations, and to work it off wolfwood took the fall and now has to babysit vash.

nai looked at wolfwood and was like "ah yes, protective big brother, knows how to do hard things for the greater good. he will be good to teach vash the importance of sacrifice" or something, but then on their first time meeting wolfwood watched vash bribe a cop, threaten a mob boss, and inhale a whole box of really shitty gas station donuts within like 2 hours and was head over heels immediately.

at some point, nai gets kidnapped or something and is freaking out about who will look after vash now, only for vash to come in and save the day really epically

nai remains in denial and sobs all over him.

nai also totally like, flys his private jet out to wherever vash is when he's having a bad day because he's a fraud and is actually just as big of a baby as vash is

after wolfwood and vash get over their inevitable idiots to lovers arc, wolfwood will randomly wake up on the floor of their little van bed to find that nai kicked him out in the middle of the night with no warning that he was gonna show up

nai sends them anniversary or holiday gifts and vash gets like, a truckload of super expensive currated stuff and wolfwood gets a handful of Cheerios nai found a pigeon eating on the subway that's shaped like a middle finger or something

or like, a half eaten hotpocket

motherfucker would give wolfwood a half eaten cup of instant noodles

or just the empty styrofoam cup which nai saw a pigeon eating, it reminded him of wolfwood, so he went over to personally wrestle the cup away from the winged rat. in a buissness suit. in the middle of the day. it was videoed, which then went viral.

sticky note on top "happy holidays fuck you wolfwood"

that link was the best present Wolfwoof ever got. he teared up a little.

vash was touched by the amount of effort nai put into wolfwoods present. he did it personally Nick! that means he likes you!

wolfwood does not believe it for a second.

[therealslimshakespeare]

Ok since you said you like this sort of feedback: Something that kind of leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth re. Maureen and that sort of has me agreeing with some of these anons that I just find her annoying is all this pent up bitterness and resentment she has towards Ida because of flight school. Which manifests into her being so shitty towards Ida when she was at her lowest. And to my knowledge, literally all that happened was that Ida failed her when she did her test flight? And like was apparently sort of hard on her? But the reason why I don’t get it is I don’t know what Maureen expected. This is the ARMY during a war. Of course it’s not gonna be like every aspect of your life has been so far? And like of course you wouldn’t just be allowed to be a pilot because you can fly leisure planes? I just don’t get that and it just generally puts me off because I feel like you have to be a really specific kind of person to be that entitled. And to think you’d be entrusted with the lives of so many people and literal BOMBS because you’ve flown your dads plane a few times 😅

Hahaha, I get this and she’s such a damn drama queen for it. Because, legit your arguments are exactly right.

Bombs Maureen, bombs. And nine mother’s sons.

I based this tiff of hers from a guy’s bio from the pacific theatre, he held onto that bitterly for a long while and that’s sorta the attitude a lotta of folks who didn’t quite know what they were signing up for possessed. Yes there were the sober and the patriotic too, and I tend to admire those guys more which I think is understandable?! But there were the others that were entitled and naive af and eventually either broke or rose to the occasion or had one happen before the other. Their stories are out there too and I find them rather human even if they’re alarming.

And like Gale told her -Ida was knocking her down a peg just to the promote her? And Maureen had never been denied something like that before and that’s shitty but it’s real, and it would throw someone like that. And as Gale said again, getting promoted was the first compliment handed her without faux ass kissing due to her privlidge and she hardly knew what to do with that.

I know some people who are like her and it’s sad. And I’ve also seen some change. And that’s beautiful and worthy of support imo.

[pen-and-umbra]

Hey, I wonder what would sephiroth do if he wasn’t forced into project S, being a soldier and dealing with Hojo. like what sort of occupation would he choose if he had a xhance NOT take part in shinra's shitty fighting? So depressing seeing him go thru all of that in ec chapters!

Heya.

Yup, his is not a pretty story for sure. And it's a difficult question to answer because Sephiroth's origin, in its most literal sense, defines him as a character. Without the Jenova project, there is no Sephiroth, so for the sake of answering, I'll go with the experiment happening, but then ShinRA either cuts funding or ends the SOLDIER program in favor of Scarlett's arms development.

Sephiroth may then choose a path purely to annoy Hojo, being petty af about what he had to go through as a child, while honoring Gast's legacy. After all, whatever glorified Gast by default reminded Hojo of his place. With that in mind, I believe Sephiroth could devote himself to scholarly study of Cetra, continuing Gast's work. His obsessive search for his own roots helped him develop a habit of meticulously digging for records and documents, handling files, and piecing together the whole picture with only the bits — not dissimilar to a historian or archaeologist. The most basic understanding of the Ancients begins with the origin of materia, so Sephiroth could collect the remaining legends and folk tales that shed light on Cetra's way of life, rituals, beliefs, and so on. He comes across mentions of a mysterious "calamity from the skies" on several occasions, which both intrigues and unnerves him for some reason. Naturally, it would be hard to study Cetra’s belief system without touching upon Lifestream and, consequently, planetology. But if it’s an **affront** to Hojo’s science, then all the better.

He might travel the world, studying artifacts of the Ancients, eventually sticking around the dig site near Bone Village. His prior SOLDIER bootcamp training comes in handy and gives him an impressive edge when it comes to exploring various ruins and caverns. He also takes upon himself protecting the dig site and researchers there from occasional monster or raider attacks, which earns him quite a reputation both among fellow scholars and the local folk.

Eventually he writes a paper on Ancients, detailing the deciphered lore about their spirituality and the concept of Promised Land. It utterly busts ShinRA’s claim of it being a real location and instead reveals it to be a spiritual state of mindfulness and illumination. The paper is prefaced with a dedication to the late Professor Gast.

If he broke free in his late twenties, though, that'd be another story. He’d be directionless and lacking capacity to be anything other than a sword-wielder for a loooong time.

[pacifymebby]

Do you have any fave LGBTQ+ literature, tv, movies, content creators?

Okay so I'm still trying really hard to find queer books that I like because beyond Allen Ginsburg in college we weren't taught any LGBTQ+ authors/poets (except Carol Ann Duffy but the only thing I'd recommend about her work is to stay away because I hate it haha)(I probably hate it because of school tbh, sorry Carol) so anyway yeah, when it comes to this I've had to do all the searching myself and I don't really know how well I've done.

But for books:

🍂 Orlando / Virginia Woolf

I kind of can't believe Virginia Woolf wasn't on my other recommendations because The Waves is one of my favourite books (again I think you have to have a lot of patience but it is beautiful) and this one is brilliant too. A man wakes up in a woman's body and gender roles are revealed to be a little bit silly.

🍂 Thérèse and Isabelle / Violet Leduc

Erotic novella about two girls at boarding school, low-key spoke to me as a bi girl who kind of started realising her bisexuality when exploring sexuality was sort of thrust upon me by female friends at school I guess. It's just a good example of feminine sexuality and desire written by someone who knows.

🍂 Chelsea Girls / Eileen Myles

I'm very into Eileen Myles as a poet and these stories are so so so so so fucking good too!!!!

🍂 In The Dream House / Carmen María Machado

I got into this because it's what Google recs when you finish The Dangers of Smoking in Bed / Mariana Enriquez and honestly, I didn't enjoy it as much but it was still amazing. It's gothic horror af but also a really important work on abusive relationships within the queer community which the author has personal experience of and thinks isn't spoken about enough. Its really haunting, did fuck me up a bit but ultimately in a good way. But be careful because it does chronical abuse and that can be upsetting.

🍂 On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous/ Ocean Vuong

Another one where I love their poetry and think they can do no wrong tbh, I haven't finished this yet (I keep getting distracted but don't be put off by that I'm just really easily distracted!!) And I think it's wonderful idk. It's also written in quite a cool style which is always a bonus I find.

🍂 Our Wives Under the Sea / Julia Armfield

I actually only read this because I read an essay on the Exorcist and body horror by the author where she talks about her experience with having a cyst that had to be operated on twice. The essay was so stunning that I was like damn, gonna have to read that book everyone's talking about now and bestie, was worth it. The books class also.

🍂 Sister Outsider / Audre Lorde

I just think everyone should read Audre Lorde, Audre Lorde should have been on the curriculum instead of endless Simon Armitage idk. I read this and Your Silence Will Not Protect You as a 19 year old and they changed the course of my life idk.

🍂 Communion / bell hookes

Read this and broke up with my shitty ex boyfriend. It's not entirely about lesbianism but more kind of, love in general, platonic, romantic, what it really means to love. She talks about the feminist choice to choose lesbianism which was a phenomenon in the 70s and also discusses a lot to do with how misogyny impacts womens ability to love and be loved. It was a really important read for me, made all the more important because when I picked up the book my boyfriend ripped into her name and tried to be like lol what would you read her for...and then I read it and was like oh HE'S the problem.

Poetry:

🐇Howl / Allen Ginsburg

I know he's problematic but for me Howl was the prototype, the first massive poem I read and loved as an adult, the first one where language really sounded musical to me, the first poem I heard that Hurt. If you can you should listen to the YouTube of him reading it in San Francisco,that's amazing.

I also really like A Supermarket in California.

🐇 Sappho

Just all of it I guess, I think we're all eventually pushed towards Sappho and for good reason.

🐇Emily Dickinson

Read her letters to Sue, Open Me Carefully. I read these one summer between school years and I think they changed me. Her poetry in general is wonderful, some of it occasionally comes off as very old fashioned (shock horror our girl was born in the 1800s) but there's much to savour there. Also apparently there's a TV series about her life on Apple TV, I don't have Apple TV though so I haven't seen it.

As for TV and movies I don't think I have anything at all. I don't watch a lot of TV and I mostly only watch the same 5 old man movies on repeat. I think books have always been my thing, I can concentrate on reading in a way I can't concentrate on TV and also just the fact you can put your book in your pocket and get it out on the bus, in the staff room, at school, at the pub when you're waiting for your pals etc... I was always a headphones and books gal so I don't really have any recs for TV. Sorry :/

EDIT: Kill Your Darlings!!!! As in the movie, if you're into the beats you should watch it, it's very good and a real insight into what was in reality a pretty nasty little scene.

[just-jess-78]

I finally looked the girl up today. It was so much harder than I expected because she was nothing like I expected her to be.

I expected her to be young and blonde and bubbly and beautiful.

She’s my age so still older than him. She’s skinny but not the kind that makes you miss your pre kid body. She had weight loss surgery ten years ago and is an avid gym goer. She’s definitely earned her skinny. She’s a golfer. She honestly seems like a decent person. Their personalities make sense together. I don’t mean this with any kind of anything in my heart but I didn’t know how it would fuck me up to see that I’m actually prettier than her or just as pretty (I don’t mean that though she’s plain af) and I say that because then I started to spiral and think holy shit…all this time he made me feel like I was ugly and gross and I thought it was because he wasn’t attracted to me physically but what if it’s because I’m ugly inside. And that hurt me worse than anything has ever hurt me. I started to feel crazy like did I not try enough was I not affectionate enough. Should I have tried to go do shit with him that he wanted to do even though we never did anything I ever wanted to do. He never even listened to the stuff I was interested in. Was it as bad as I remember it or am I fucking crazy.

Then I remembered that when things were good and everything was perfect and I was in a good mood things were (seemed) really good. The ONLY times he’s ever EVER been cruel to me were the times when I needed him. When my aunt died he wouldn’t even hug me and I remember knowing that was fucked up and being too ashamed to tell anyone. I tried to talk to him about it and he said he “didn’t like being told what to do?”

I broke my arm skiing one year on vacation with friends and he was mad at me about something dumb that I can’t even remember now and he drove so crazy on the way to the ER because he was still mad and then wouldn’t carry my purse in for me. He put his cap over his eyes and never looked at me the entire time. It was so bad that one of the nurses pulled me aside and asked if he had done it to me.

So even though the good times outweighed the bad, the bad times were so hurtful that I never could get over them. And we certainly couldn’t talk about it because then the fight was really on because he’s “sorry he can’t do anything right” 🙄

Idk. Maybe the truth is just the fucking truth. They’re compatible. We were not. Romantically or sexually. If so then I’m honestly happy for him. And I mean that with everything in me because I get it. I’m so excited to fall in love again someday and do it right this time. I love love and I love that he feels that because it’s probably his first time. I always knew he didn’t love me that way because I know what that feels like and it was never what we had. For a minute it made me sad that he had to be so shitty to me because I would absolutely love to be able to tell him that I hope that’s his forever and I hope she fills the voids for him that I couldn’t or didn’t want to.

The part that hurts the worst is knowing that he would never ever have loved me enough to let me go gracefully if the script was flipped.

I didn’t love him like you should love your husband because no matter how hard I tried I never could respect him as my husband because he wasn’t a leader to me. There was nothing I could respect about him as my husband. He provided financially but he never protected me he never made sure I didn’t have to pump my own gas. He never let me pick one fucking movie. He only got me off 13 times in 15 fucking years.

But I did love him like you love your best friend. I took care of him and I took care of his heart. I wish I didn’t feel so stupid for doing it for so long.

[bisluthq]

FWIW one time deux said that taylor and harry pretended to date for publicity and i dm-ed her and asked her why she said that and she said maybe they developed some real feelings but that multiple reliable sources told her that their “dating” was all orchestrated by both their teams, they barely spent any time together that wasn’t reported on and it was all preplanned, him being seen backstage with her was planned, her being seen wearing his necklace was planned, they never even stayed together in the same room she stayed in her hotel and he stayed in his but he would driven to hers in order to get papped leaving it, her birthday trip was orchestrated and they stayed separately, them kissing on NYE, their vacation all of it was set up 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I really don’t fucking trust deux to know what “multiple reliable sources” even means like dictionary definition style.

You’re on anon so this is kinda hard to verify lmfao. I’m honestly surprised Deux answered a random DM demanding more info about something controversial because she has a very busy inbox.

I think we all know that there was a lot of stuff done for publicity re Haylor (NYE was obviously a good example lol you don’t go to Times Square on NYE unless you want a hell of a lot of attention, Central Park pap walk, etc) and yes most of their time together was covered in media BUT they’d actually started hanging out before this (while she was still with Conor) and we do hear random stories about times they were seen by fans or when they went to record together and that stuff wasn’t covered in the same way at all, there are like some shitty pics or an anecdote which is how we know that yes they did spend time together outside the publicity stunts so MY GUESS would be they kinda liked one another, their teams really liked that they liked each other, they tried to date, their teams loved that and publicized the fuck out of it, they broke up because it was eh af and the constant scrutinize and publicity probably wasn’t working, they remained friendly and maybe hooked up a couple more times.

[kiss-my-freckle]

Stefan threatening to kill people if Elena didn't kiss him even though she's with Damon reminds me of how in Twilight Jacob threatened to kill himself if Bella didn't kiss him even though she was with Edward except Bella was guilt tripped to the point where she did kiss him to stop his threat while Elena didn't cheat on Damon and apologized over and over again, which left Stefan trying to murder Jesse until Caroline stopped him. I've seen many, including Stefan stans, criticize Jacob and call Bella a victim for giving in but Stefan gets almost no criticism for what he did to Elena and Elena doesn't get emphathized with. Even if she gave in Stelena fans would romanticize it despite the shitty circumstances and would call Elena an attention whore, as they already did after she broke up with Stefan and criticized him for sleeping with Rebekah. They think Elena wants what she can't have no matter who she dates.

For Elena, Stefan sleeping with Rebekah wasn't about attention at all. Anyone who paid mind to the show would know that. She stood by that waterfall in season 2 and told Stefan she never wanted to be a vampire. Stefan himself made a big fuss about this with Damon when she first turned. He could've slept with anyone, but he chose to sleep with the girl that turned Elena into a vampire. And worse, he tried to hide the fact. Stefan went off on Damon for outing him because what you see on his face before he does... is shame. He tried to sneak out of Rebekah's house because he had morning after regret. He knew what he did was wrong. Even as a friend, it was shitty af.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday, December 27th, 2023

Why have the past few days been so hard I don't even understand. It's like I know all of the tools to help myself and heal, but like sleeping for example. I know I need to get enough sleep but I keep waking up extremely upset and it's ruining my mornings. I know I need to eat better but I barely have an appetite. I'm on my period and I absolutely fucking hate it. I think I may have some period-related distress disorder or something because this just can't be normal. I wish there was something I could take like an aspirin but instead of pain it would alleviate ridiculous mood swings. My period makes me feel so out of control of my body and so uncomfortable. I'm glad I have found a way to skip it for the most part, but then when I do have one it's 20x worse!!?? So either have it a quarter of the year being a nuisance or 4x a year but terrible?? Idk fml. I feel like a fucking teenager again which is 100% not my fucking speed. I am grown I want to act grown in so tired of bs people and bs situations and bs "how things should go" when it comes to social situations. I don't know how to fucking date anymore and I feel like so FUCKED UP from this past relationship. I'm so used to wringing myself dry, squeezing every drop of myself into someone just to get completely fucked over and forgotten about. I can't do that shit again. But if it's not 100%, what the fuck is it?? 10% 20% 50%? I can't imagine giving 50% of myself to someone I don't fucking know. Maybe like 5% haha. That's expendable, but is that enough to garner anything serious?? Or just a bunch of bs????? Help me please anyone 🙃

7:41am seriously coming to terms with how fucked up my last relationship was. And coming to terms with the fact that it has fucked me uP. I do need therapy tbh that would be an investment for me this year. Idc if it's through the school or not their wait-list is so stupid and long.

I want to be around more women this year, men are just making me lose my fucking mind.

7:21pm just got off of another last minute shift! I called him earlier until he finally picked up bc I can't understand his weird ass games. And weird ass games is 100% correct. He said he "silently cried" in public at his gfs parents house last night bc they kept playing songs that remind him of me.... Bro wtf... I literally don't know what to say to that shit. Then I confronted him about why he took me off everything so abruptly and he basically said that everyone else told him to. He just does whatever everyone else tells him to do, he's such a loser. Then he said that anytime his phone goes off, calls or texts, he gets anxious bc he thinks it's me calling him?? Apparently I make him so anxious now... bc he was the dumb one to get such a paranoid gf a week after we broke up, apparently I'm still the cause of numerous fights between them... Literally tho this is 100% NOT MY FAULT. YOU CANNOT BLAME ME FOR YOUR SHITTY BEHAVIOR. YOU CERTAINLY CANNOT BLAME ME FOR WANTING YOU AFTER YOU TELLING ME REPEATEDLY THAT YOU WANTED ME AND THAT YOU REGRETTED EVERYTHING. HE'S LITERALLY A FUCKING CRAZY NARCISSIST PUSSY BITCH.

I'm fully convinced that he's a narcissist now bc goddamn ALWAYS HE IS THE VICTIM!!!!! This shit is unbelievable!!!!! I don't ever see us getting back together bc like I said previously, the respect is GONE. On top of being an asshole, he literally has no fucking balls and just takes his fragile ego out on anyone he thinks he can treat like shit/ less than him. Goddamn I feel bad for that girl but on the other hand, she gets what she deserves !!! She can have your crazy ass I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this shit anymore!!!! It's like he's reverting backwards too, really acting like a brat ass teenager again, love triangles and generally NOT BEING A MAN AT ALL. Literally he acts like a child with no emotional regulation and it's sad af honestly. It's really just sad. That's why I cry. Not because I miss him, but bc I feel bad that he really is such a fuckup and I thought I could help him. I cry for my own grieving, overly kind heart that I gave to someone so fucking helpless. Beyond help at this point bc there's so many fucking people ENABLING HIS BEHAVIOR. I am literally outnumbered by stupid fucking idiots who think this shit is acceptable. I simply cannot. Good luck bro.

[purposlyconfused]

I have a boyfriend.... now what?

It has been a while since I have written anything. I did not know where to start. I spent a month or so with online dating and that was a disaster. Either I would find men that would just want to have sex with me, go on a first date with me, and then say they are too busy with work or just lose interest. It made me feel foolish because some of these guys I was actually very into. Met a man off Bumble who finally made me feel like we had a real connection and everything felt great, chatted over Snapchat for a week. He was nice, respectful, kind, handsome but also very horny when chatting at night (shocker). Eventually, I gave up on him when my best friend set me up with my now boyfriend.

And so, here is the story! When I broke up with my ex, my best friend comes up to me and says I have a man for you. I said oh sureeee, but wasn't ready to meet or know him till the end of October. After having enough with online dating, and shitty men... I was ready for this magical man that she spoke about. She told me his name, how old he was, his hobbies, personality, and his values. I was 100% on board and was excited to meet him. The best part was that they have been best friends for 11 years and never dated, so I knew it would be fine and after many discussions with my best friend I knew I could trust both of them, and no one would hurt me.

SO! I found him on Instagram and followed him. I responded to his story and then we just got to chatting. He was so sweet, and his tone through messages was so genuine and kind. I knew then and there, my friend was right with how great he was. Later on that week, my friend threw a Halloween party and invited both of us. I finally met him in person. I was not sure if I would be attracted to him or not but I wanted to try. His costume was so fricken cute as he was Argle from stranger things and I was Rosie the Riveter. I felt hot AF and ready to hang out with him at the party. I felt we hit it off instantly and I couldn't get enough of him. At one point in the night, we started being more flirtatious, cuddly, etc... he had to go out to his car to get his bedding so we could all stay the night after drinking. When we were outside alone, I took this opportunity to kiss him. I caved into his arms and he leaned down and kissed me. We were drunk but felt so right. Then we were making out.... then interrupted by our mutual friend. She came out and was like is everything okay? But then she saw we were making out and was all excited and knew that we were really digging each other. Later on in the night, we were all getting ready for bed and I realized that I didn't need to sleep in my sleeping bag and that I could have a real bed. My mutual friend said that both I and her guy friend could share the bed. I 100% said yes and he agreed too so I was excited. We cuddled and shared kisses all night, it was so fricken great. I was in heaven!

And so we went on a few dates and hung out during the week. We slept together, laughed together, went on walks, etc. But we never actually sat down and talked to each other and learned about each other. And that there was a big problem, how can I call him my boyfriend if I know nothing about him?!