#would probably present more masculine if ever

[meat-pvppet]

just gonna talk about my vessel guy, archive vessel, real quick cuz i never talked about him that much and i dont wanna bother my friends with my oc chatter

these are mostly disconnected thoughts vaguely strewn together that steered up cuz i listened to the man on the internet broken vessel theme with lyrics

ALOT under the cut be warned

anyway archive vessel's a really mild-mannered little guy, a little socially anxious and awkward cuz obviously, and kinda just hangs out despite everything, fucking around in the archives and keeping themselves occupied by reading whatever was left behind and trying to maintain the place once they found it

it kinda started to idealize the idea of family and friends through what they could read and they started to wish they could have that

be a big ol normal family with their siblings and parents

maybe they could have made friends too

be a kid

but they realize that, obviously, due to the nature of their conception and just

what they are

its not really possible

but that doesnt stop them from wanting that

i can imagine they hold a lot of resentment towards their father for abandoning so very many of its siblings to die in the abyss

theyd probably understand why

he had a kingdom to protect and he believed this was the only way

but that doesnt mean they would forgive what was done

they hate how they cant help but feel

cheated at life, yaknow

done in by something they couldnt change

and after its cursed conception, to simply be cast aside to rot among the corpses of its siblings...

their anger is painful to them, like something lashing out violently in a cage barely holding it in

it wants to lash out at those that hurt them, but obviously thats not possible

so it just

festers like that

mind you, they wouldn't take that out on their siblings

they were put into the same situation as it, so it isn't fair to them or itself

at most, they treat their siblings like the most precious scrolls in the archives

theyd also just

put in alot of their time to gather the bodies of their siblings that were able to escape the abyss but died anyway

make proper "graves" for it to just

grieve

even though they never knew them

they just wish they couldve found and helped them earlier, but at the least it finds peace in giving them proper resting places

i feel like their shade wouldn't have the same restrain they usually have with their anger and would probably violently attack anything that comes too close so uh

itd be a really big hassle to try n get them back in their shell if ever it got cracked open like an egg

theyd also act like this if they were ever able to meet pk after everything like in those aus

theyd still have some restraint cuz

yeag

but they just

are not handling it well™

theyd meet him once and never want to see him again until they can find it in themselves not to wish to hurt him

shell would crack (moreso than it already is) under the pure stress

they wish to yell, to hurt, to let out all these pent up emotion

but it wont

despite everything, when meeting pk again, it'll find it unfair

i mean

everything pk did to them and their siblings was unfair but

archive vessel cant bring himself to make it "fair" by letting all that resentment out like that

doesnt feel right

if ever they were forced to continuously interact with pk theyd keep it as brief as possible and treat him like a stranger-it-has-to-be-around most of the time

if pk were to try to like

be a dad to the archive vessel itd just be

very uncomfortable and awkward, cringing away from touch and, again, keeping things as brief as possible

which may hurt pk (if he cares cuz note my characterization of pk isnt fully done cooking so im not sure if he'd even be interested in doing any of this it might be more likely he never interacts with archive tbh) cuz with other people showing affection to archive, they eat that shit up but with pk itd just

naw

generally, they dont wanna be around him for too long cuz then it'll need to actually feel the things they feel at full force and feeling things is kinda cringe to them

they hate how intensely they feel sometimes cuz of just how painful it is for them (projecting /hj)

equally so, they also hate bothering people with shit like that cuz "i survived until now, everyone else has their own problems and issues and struggles, i dont need to add on to what theyve got" (projecting /hj)

[muu-kun]

marine serre

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[johnbrand]

Recycling

I watched as the next employee entered the chamber. He appeared a bit confused, probably having expected a conference room rather than the dark space with mirrored walls. By the look of it, he had no idea that any one of the panes were one-sided, hesitantly fidgeting with his tie as he announced his presence with a timid “Hello?”

I leaned into the microphone, “Good afternoon.” The nervous boy’s eyes dashed around the room, trying to identify the person speaking to him. His physical characteristics and mannerisms resembled a mouse, small and skittish.

“Am I supposed to be here?” he eventually replied, choosing the speaker above my viewpoint as his receptor.

“Yes, this is the meeting to discuss your annual review.” I replied. “You're in the right place, Mr. Donson. Would you like for me to refer to you by your given name?”

The boy shuffled anxiously, “Drayton is fine.”

Habitually, I continued. “I’m sure you're wondering why your annual review this year is different from those in the past. Don’t worry Drayton, you are still one of our top performers, and your review reflects your incredible performance.”

Feeling a delicate surge of confidence, Drayton let a smile sneak up onto his lips. Being clean shaven and still holding some baby fat, it frankly was quite endearing. Cute even.

“As you are already aware, our company has been having some financial issues recently. And as a high-ranking official in our accounting department, I am sure that you are more than knowledgeable on the details of this subject.”

Drayton’s youthful glee faltered for a moment.

“Unfortunately, we do not have the funds available to keep you on board and give you a raise,” I started. “The company would like to offer you a deal: in exchange for accepting a substandard review and a 19% decrease in pay, we will offer you external benefits.”

Shock emerged from Drayton’s face, “What benefits would be worth a fifth of my paycheck?”

“Unfortunately I am liable to disclose that information,” I robotically replied. “You can either accept or tender a resignation.” 

Drayton took a moment to decide, just like all the other employees typically did. But eventually, they all convinced themselves that losing employment at the company was the worse of the two options.

“I’ll accept.”

“Stand by.” I followed procedure, locking the exits and airways into the chamber. Once that was done, I began flipping the switches. Steam mechanisms, followed by audio machines, followed by visual projectors. I did not even pay attention to the squabbling accountant, panicking as his chamber was bombarded with smoke, abrasive phonics, and commands that flashed against the walls and reflected into every corner of the room. 

Thanks to the padding in my control room, I absorbed none of it. I simply ignored Drayton’s screams and opened my laptop, getting back to my own duties as the process did its work. With all the vapors, I typically could not witness any of the changes that happened anyway–which also meant I could never attest to possible allegations if our company did ever come under some sort of legal fire in the future. But sometimes I did spot little things, flashes of commands that were being ingrained into the employee. MASCULINE, TRADITIONAL, ATTENTIVE. The small letters would pulse by an instant, although they were meaningless to me within my enclosed accommodations.

Eventually, my timer went off, and I closed out of the procedure. I exited the program and flipped the switches back over, shutting off all stimulatory mechanisms. It took a moment for the smoke to clear, presenting me with a new version of the employee. More muscular, more masculine, and more virile.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Donovan?”

"It’s Donson, boss." The man stood tall, stoic. His voice now held much more depth and presence.

"It’s Donovan, Drake Donovan,” I affirmed. “That's what's in our system."

I watched the man process this, the command’s installation literally visible behind his now less-intelligent eyes. 

“I see you were able to find part of your new uniform already.” I was referring to the briefs and sweatshorts that were covering the lower half of Drake’s much larger body. The remnants of the former business casual outfit were scattered across his large feet. “The closet behind you will contain the rest of your attire. Company fitness uniforms and approved footwear that will better fit your size and new position.”

“New position?” Drake inquired, his question curious rather than interrogative.

“The company has decided to reassign you as a security liaison, seeing as that will be a better fit for your paygrade.” I typed away at my reviewal report, adding in details of Drake’s benefits package. Increase in height, dramatic increase in musculature, increase in hair, increase in virility…

To save money, the company liked to recycle its employees. We would bring in fresh graduates to run our corporate operations, and then once they hit their pay ceiling, recycled them into more manual, less intellectually-driven roles. Naturally, no one ever filed any complaints about this procedure as no one realized it existed. And even if they did, they would no longer have the brains capable to file such a complaint.

“Sounds good, boss,” Drake replied, even though I had already known what his answer was going to be. With his dominating size and brutish stature, Drake had been remodeled into the standard male form that we needed for our team. And with this mind simplified to only focusing on traditional objectives (upholding masculinity, working out, fulfilling his role), Drake was now bound to solely focus on the company’s objectives. Thanks to the recycling process, our company would keep the profits high and the employee turnover low. And now, Drake would remain entertained without the extra money by merely following orders and enjoying the simpler things in life, like flexing his muscles.

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Bros, Bros, and more Bros

I made a mistake! My cousin told me about this fortune teller that cast a spell on him. Apparently, it made every man he ran into act like a fatherly figure in his life. I had an awesome dad, but I've always struggled to connect with guys my own age, so I tracked the witch down and begged her for another spell. She eventually came around, but the effects aren't quite what I expected...

"Sup, dude! Wanna skip and hit the park?"

My eyes stretch wide to take in the sight of my own father, carrying a skateboard over his shoulder like it's the most natural thing in the world. He's been acting like this for weeks; not washing his hair, barely even washing himself, and constantly wearing that stupid cap backwards. He's lost any sense of his old self!

"Dad, it's Monday. You've got work," I reply, not wanting him to piss his boss off.

"Work blows!" he sneers, "I hate wearing this stupid tie, and I'd rather hang with you, bro."

I sigh as my father tosses down his skateboard and extends a palm, pulling me into a cliche bro-hug where he claps me on the back. My dad used to give out hugs all the time, but it was never as performatively masculine as this. All this stupid curse did was turn my father into an 40 year-old frat guy.

"You're going to work," I say firmly, "And I'm going to school. We can play videogames or whatever when we get back later tonight."

"Bruuhhh!" he groans, "Fine. I'll catch you later, dude. There's pizza in the fridge if you want."

The idea of leftover pizza this early in the morning makes my stomach ache. My dad used to cook an entire meal every morning, complete with fruits and veggies. Now, he'd probably settle for a bag of chips.

The man leaves the skateboard behind and grabs his suit jacket, pulling it on with an attitude. He gives me one last head nod before bounding out of the house, hair flowing behind him. I imagine it's only a matter of time before my dad's boss is fed up with his new persona. I can't imagine a bro-personality is very conducive to getting work done in a corporate office. Hopefully, he'll mature soon.

With an empty stomach, I saunter out of the kitchen and walk to campus. I'm grateful to live close to the university. Hopefully, my curse won't get in the way of my day.

"Hey, how's my favorite student doing, bro?"

My professor yells and breaks into a goofy grin at the sight of me. I close the door to his office to give us a bit of privacy. Mr. Carlton only acts like this when I stop by, so his colleagues would be shocked to see such a drastic shift in his usually stoic personality.

"I'm good, Professor Carlton," I say, "I wanted to check on my grade for this course."

"No need to be so formal, dude," he smiles, clapping me on the back, "You can call me Daniel. Want a drink? I have some bourbon."

"I'm good. I really just-"

"Relax, bro," my professor says, shoving a glass in my hand, filled to the brim, "This is good stuff. I save it for special occasions, so sit down! Kick your shoes off! I don't care!"

The department head pulls off his suit jacket and leans back in his chair, propping his feet up on the desk and stretching his arms behind his head. I'd never seen the man act so unprofessional, but ever since the curse, he's started treating me like his closest buddy.

"Professor...sorry...Daniel, I just wanted to hear about my grade."

"I got you, bro!" he laughed, "Just keep doing what you're doing. I don't care if you don't show up!"

My shoulders relax. That's what I want to hear. It's not that I don't want to attend his lectures, but the last time I did, he started acting like a jackass in front of the entire class of 50 students. His presentation went from ancient monetary systems to ratings of best celebrity nip-slips. It's a miracle he didn't get fired!

"Ok, good. I have to go," I say checking the time, "And you have class in 20 minutes."

"Shit, I know," he groans and gulps down the rest of his booze, "Another day another dollar, I guess. When can we hang out, man? Tonight? I really wanna hang out with my guy."

"Nope, sorry!" I tense up and grab my backpack, "Good luck with the lecture."

"Right on, bro," he holds a sad hand up for a high-five, swallowing the rest of the drink he poured me.

I give my tipsy professor a halfhearted clap and scamper out of the office as quickly as possible. These interactions make me cringe so hard when a grown man acts young and cool for me. It's especially awkward to see such a respected individual sink to such a low level. What would we even do if he came over?

"Dude! Long time, no see!"

In the hallway, I run into the football coach and two of the team's best players. The three of them look like they're getting back from an early morning conditioning session. They're all sweaty, panting, and happy to see me.

"Oh, hey," I muster, feeling increasingly less cool around these jocks. I hate to admit it, but guys like this wouldn't give me the time of day before I got that bro-curse.

"Hey, man! You gotta come hang out with us," the brunette grins, "The team's still changing, but you're cool to come in the locker room!"

"Yeah, bro!" the blonde quickly adds, "We'd love to have you in there!"

My heart pounds faster and faster. This is why I've never been able to connect with guys my own age. I find myself boning up every time they look in my direction. Now that these two athletes are practically begging for me to join them in the locker room, my erection is bursting out of my pants!

"We can take care of that too," the coach suddenly mentions, pointing a finger at the tent I'm trying to hide in my crotch.

"What?" I stammer with a dry mouth.

"What do you think bros are for?" the coach continues, clapping his two players on the back, "My boys would be happy to help a brother out!"

The two football jocks nod. It feels like I'm dreaming, and I don't know what to do. Before I can decide, the two athletes have approached and grabbed me by the arm. Their grips are firm, and I realize I'm being escorted into the changing room whether I like it or not!

"Who's this guy?"

My stomach drops as I enter the locker room, finding an array of footballers in different states of dress. They all glance up at me with confusion, like I'm not supposed to be there, but then their faces soften. The gypsy's magic sets in, and they don't see a stranger when they look at me. They see their bro.

"Oh, it's you, bro," the same jock says, letting down his guard. I think I recognize him as the quarterback.

"Oh yeah, dude!" the massive lineman stands up and pulls me into a sweaty hug, "Glad you're here!"

"That's right guys," the brunette at my side says, still holding me tightly in place, "Our best bud is here, and he needs some attention."

My face flushes as I suddenly remember the problem poking out between my legs. By now, the entire football team is staring at it. If anything, it's only become more rock solid.

"Let me take care of that for you, bro," the quarterback says, grabbing my crotch without any hesitation.

"Move, I'll do it," says the lineman, pushing the quarterback out of the way and getting on his knees. He opens his mouth wide and-

"Shut up, all of you!" the coach suddenly roars! The locker room falls silent: these athletes are really well trained. "If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right. Line up!"

"Yes, coach!"

The jocks back up and form a line in front of the lockers. Even the blonde and brunette that were holding me, release and join the rest of the team on the bench. Suddenly, I'm standing with the coach, looking at an entire team of well-disciplined football players. My throbbing erection is very apparent and pointing right at the small crowd of muscular men.

"Our bro deserves to be kept satisfied, right?" the coach slams a hand on my back.

"Yes, coach!" they shout back.

"So we don't just want to get our boy off once and move on, now do we?" he punctuates his question with another slap, this time lower on my back.

"No, coach!"

"We're going to set up a system for us to get him off whenever he needs it!"

"Yes, coach!"

The broad-shouldered and balding coach gives me one more slap, clapping me on the ass this time while staring into my eyes. "I'm gonna have my boys take turns sucking you off, bro. You just tell me which one's your favorite. Sound cool?"

I manage to mumble my assent, and with one look from coach, the quarterback is on his knees crawling towards my crotch. He pulls down my pants and unleashes my aching hard-on. "I got you, bro," he says, before putting his mouth to work.

After a few minutes, the coach pulls the jock off my pole and orders the linebacker to get busy. Before long, it's the brunette's turn, then the blonde's. I cycle through all 30 of the team's exceptional players, and I've gotten off more than just a few times. It's impossible to choose a favorite.

At the end of it all, the coach pushes the last player aside and says, "My turn, bro," before opening his mouth as wide as he can.

The entire football team watches as I spend the next 15 minutes just filling their coach's eager throat. When I'm finally done, I feel completely spent. I swap numbers with each jock and am repeatedly promised that they will be available whenever I call, but it isn't enough. They want to hang out with me now. They want to go out and party. I find it too difficult to say 'no' to a group of 30 eager athletes, so I let them sweep me up and take me to the nearest bar.

Needless to say, we end up causing a bit too rowdy of a scene.

"I got a complaint about a bunch of college idiots causing a ruckus. Would that be you?"

The officer was all business when he first walked in the bar. My football bros were dancing and yelling, barely even paying attention to the policeman scowling at the wild scene in front of him. He looked pissed, and his glare only softened when it found me.

"Woah, didn't know you were here, man," the cop says, cracking a slight grin on his hardened face.

"Well, I am!" I cry, feeling the effects of all the drinks my bros had been buying for me, "You should forget about work and party with us!"

"You got it, dude! Screw this badge!" the officer yells, pulling me into a tight embrace. I guess the bro-curse even works on law-enforcement!

Just like that, I'm dancing with a policeman in the middle of the dance floor. He doesn't have any moves, but he loosens up after we get some beer down his throat. The football team loves watching the cop party right alongside them. Apparently, this guy has broken up many of their parties in the past.

"Drink! Drink! Drink!"

The officer gulps down his seventh beer and slams the glass on the floor. It breaks, but the shattering is largely drowned out by the music. His onlookers go wild, but I can see the intoxication on his face. Beer is plastered around his mouth and dripping down his neck to soak into his uniform. I doubt this man has ever been this drunk in uniform before.

He stumbles over and throws a muscled arm over my shoulder, "Come here, bro. Let's do some shots or something!"

"I think it might be time to call it a night, officer," I yell in his ear.

"Oh, screw that!" he whines, "And don't call me officer! It's so formal!"

"Ok, what should I call you?"

"I dunno..." he mutters, "Buck! Call me Buck. That's what my wife calls me."

I roll my eyes at the mention of his wife. Of course this guy is taken. He's a complete stud of man. I've always liked a guy in uniform.

"How'd you like to come home with me tonight, Buck?" I ask sheepishly.

He lights up, "Bro, I thought you'd never ask!"

The cop grabs my arm with a wicked grin and stomps his way towards the door, dragging me along like I'm the prize he won at a fair. The players on the football team all stare at him with envy, mad that he's stealing their new best friend away for the night. I could see how badly each one of the jocks wished they were the one having a sleepover with me tonight.

"Hop in, I'll drive," officer Buck slurs his words and gestures to the police cruiser with his free hand.

"I think I'll handle the driving, if that's alright," I say, "Just hand over the keys."

"Anything for you, bro."

"Looks like someone got lucky!"

"Oh my God. Dad you're still up?"

"Bro, you said you'd play videogames tonight and then you never showed! What was I supposed to do?" he retorts, unbothered by the late hour or the cop hanging on my arm.

"You have to go to work in 4 hours!" I scream, "And you haven't even changed out of today's work clothes! What are you thinking?"

"Chill, bro," my dad says, turning to the drunk policeman holding my hand, "Take him to the bedroom and show him a good time. I'm sure you were going to, but the dude could use some extra help relaxing tonight."

The sound of my own father encouraging the man I brought home to 'show me a good time' makes me question everything again. My dad just witnessed his son bringing home a cop that's the same age as him. He doesn't even care! I want to tell him to grow up and be the man I used to know, but Buck is already jerking on my arm.

"Let's go, bro," he mumbles lowly, using his strong arms to drag me into the bedroom.

"Enjoy your new cop friend, bro!" my father calls and I hear the sounds of his videogames start back up.

I barely have time to worry about any of it. Has this curse gone too far? Will my dad make it to work tomorrow? Does Buck have a wife I need to worry about!?

It all goes away when I'm thrown on the bed. The intoxicated officer flips the lights down low, and stumbles in front of me. He may be drunk, but he is certainly not a disappointment. The cop stares down at me as he rips his state-issued hat off and unbuttons his dark uniform shirt, all the while moving his hips to the beat of gunfire from dad's videogame in the living room.

With his hairy chest exposed, he crawls on top of me and whispers in my ear, "Where do you want me to start? Us bros gotta look out for each other, don't we?"

[shepherds-of-haven]

How would the ROs rate their own attractiveness? Like do they consider themselves attractive?

Huh, good question!

Blade: he is distantly aware that other people/society in general considers him to be good-looking in some capacity. (By Ket standards, he and Gladius both are considered to be blessed with markedly good looks, but almost in a 'pretty boy' kind of way. Gladius is considered like stunningly beautiful while Blade has more of 'effortlessly hot' aura). So he would say other people probably think he's "above-average" in looks (but he also believes it to be more of a muscularity/strength thing than things like his facial features. Like women, if they do find him attractive, probably think so because he looks like a strong provider LMAO). But he himself doesn't think about his own attractiveness or appearance beyond what good hygiene and proper presentation dictate... he hardly spares himself a glance in the mirror most days. As you can tell by his haircut choices

Trouble: he considers himself to be average in looks, neither particularly handsome or particularly ugly, just exactly in the middle of the road! If asked to describe his own attractiveness in more detail, he'd probably say something like, "I clean up okay. I'm a decent-looking working-class guy? *shrug* I don't think anyone would be mad if I showed up at their doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, but artists aren't swooning over my cheekbones, either"

Tallys: Tallys considers herself to be a good-looking woman, probably an 8 if we're using a scale, a 9 if she put more effort into being conventionally beautiful (doing things like growing out her hair (!), using makeup or perfume, dressing well, etc.). She's confident in her own attractiveness and doesn't find much fault with her own features or body, but she also knows that doesn't mean she's everyone's specific cup of tea, either! She just believes that, according to a general standard, she rates highly in most areas, and no one could sincerely call her ugly. It helps that she's an Elf, since most of them have a high standard of confidence when it comes to their natural beauty!

Shery: before she joined the Shepherds, she believed herself to be average or below-average, and believed herself to be "mousy": hiding behind her bangs and spectacles was not something she ever saw conventionally beautiful people doing, so she grew up thinking she was forgettable or unremarkable, though not necessarily ugly or outright unattractive. Just sort of "plain." However, since joining and noticing that there are people who seem to compliment or even crush on her, she's since come to tentatively revise that opinion and thinks she could probably be considered "cute" by some people's standards, but she still thinks that her personality makes it hard for anyone to really notice her or become completely enthralled by her... so she would say she's probably like a 6 or 7 by looks alone, which she's content with!

Riel: as like a work of art or a painting (so judging by pure aesthetics alone, devoid of other considerations), he believes he rates around an 8 just going by the symmetry of his facial features, his taste in clothes, the fact that he's well-groomed, but he's a bit self-conscious of how he rates in terms of desirability or sexual appeal, which is a different thing entirely (in his own mind). Like, you can admit a painting is beautiful, but you don't want to fuck a painting? In those terms, he believes he falls well below the standards of the masculine ideal, probably resting at a 5, though he believes he makes up for it in other areas (wealth, intellect, uniqueness, etc). It doesn't bother him that much, but it is something that he is aware of at the back of his mind!

Chase: He thinks he's pretty good-looking (🙄), but that the effect is best felt and supplemented by his in-person charisma, charm, aura, and general personality. This is an extremely topical/dated example, but it's sort of like how a lot of people were largely indifferent to Glen Powell going strictly by looks alone, but then they saw him acting in Twisters or Top Gun or whatever and saw his chemistry with his co-stars and were suddenly like "oh 😳" Like he needs to be seen in action to really feel attracted to him?? Anyway, Chase thinks that if you were to see a perfect painting of him in a gallery, he's good-looking enough alone to make you stop and admire him, so probably like an 8... but his magnetism in person brings that to a 10 LOL

Red: He "doesn't really think about it" (🙄)--he more spends time grooming and styling himself to his own standards rather than really fretting over what other people would perceive or rate him as, but if you really pressed up, I think he'd say he's an 8 on a good day, potentially a 9 if he were to try very hard, but he'd sort of vaguely look around at everyone else to confirm if this was an arrogant thing for him to say lol, so he's definitely not totally sure about it! There aren't too many things he finds fault with when it comes to his physical appearance or body--he's generally satisfied and content in that department--but he also would never argue he's some great show-stopping beauty or gorgeous model: he just quietly lives with the idea that most people think he's a naturally pretty handsome guy!

Ayla: this is sad, but she probably rates herself a 3, maybe a 4 on a good day. 😕 Ayla thought she dispensed with thinking about her own appearance or attractiveness long ago, having accepted the fact that most people perceived her as this ragged, scrappy loner who mostly lived on the road and was lucky if she could find a stream to wash her hair in. She never possessed a mirror and, the rare times she stayed in a room that had one, she used it to check herself over for hidden injuries or things on her back and then went on her way... and none of this really mattered to her because she spent so much of her time alone. No one was really looking at her, she wasn't looking at herself, so who cared if she looked like a half-drowned rat with her hair growing into her eyes while she shook sand out of her clothes? Since joining the Shepherds, however, her private consciousness of her appearance has naturally increased, and sometimes she can feel quite down about it (especially when faced with the elegant grace of Tallys, the feminine cuteness of Shery, or the show-stopping beauty of Lavinet). Part of being in a group that she avoided was the vulnerability of natural comparison: no one's comparing you to anyone if you stand alone, but with the Shepherds, of course that's going to happen, even if only in her own mind... Anyway, this is a lot to say that she considers herself to be below-average in attractiveness, but is filled with a sullen self-loathing and pride when she considers doing anything to try to change that fact, so she just... resigns herself to feeling that way forever, if that makes any sense!

Briony: she thinks she's cute and can edge over into pretty when she tries really hard, so she'd probably say she hovers between a 6 and a 7 on an average day? While she thinks she has advantages like her striking hair color and eyes, she has areas that she privately feels a bit insecure about: she feels her face is too round, her nose is too short, feels like she's a bit short and compact and boyish in body when she's rather be tall and leggy like Tallys or buxom and curvaceous like Lavinet, etc. etc. It's not something that really bothers her--she figures that everybody feels that way about themselves--so she's happy with being "above-average" on most days. It's only when she's crushing on somebody and isn't sure of how they perceive her that she gets really unsure and self-conscious about it, and then she really obviously throws herself into styling herself to appear more feminine!

Lavinet: don't hate her, but she definitely thinks she's a 10 LOL. This is partly due to the fact that, by Blest beauty standards, she pretty much is a paragon of desirability, and everyone in her life has treated her as if she were a 10 or even outright said so... so there's really no reason for her to think otherwise! There are always small things she would tweak if she gave any thought to it, but in general she's been very happy with her appearance and how she's been able to use it as a tool to accomplish her goals in life!

Halek: he is well aware that he's gorgeous... he wouldn't say this out loud because he knows he'd get endlessly ragged on, but he'd probably say he's a 10 LMAO, maybe 9 so as to give the appearance of some humility... It's not even something he's arrogant about, he's just like aware of general beauty standards and is like 'yeah by no choice of my own and by complete accident of birth, i happen to fit these really well? *shrug*" It's nbd... and it's part of where his bde comes from, I'm sure

[unoislazy]

Hellohelloooooooooooo!!!!! What little things do you think Mizu would do for her s/o? Fluff behavior.. hehe

Mizu Fluff Headcanons

A/n: What WOULDN’T this woman do for her s/o is probably an easier question to answer

————————————————————

She is extremely touch starved but doesn't know how to ask for anything.

She seemed like the kind to not initiate any touch, unless in a sparring sense

That being said, if you just walk up to her and hug her or hold her hand she's not gonna stop you, in fact she encourages it.

The first few times she will react as if you’re someone trying to attack her so that’s something you definitely have to work on with her.

Given the fact the Mizu presents masculine out of sense of convenience, the longer shes around you, the more feminine she reverts back to being

She isn’t sure about it at first but you literally couldn’t care less what she wears as long as she’s comfortable.

You’ve offered to let her practice makeup on you and you do the same on her.

Totally wasn’t just a ploy on your part to get closer to her… whaatttt??? Noooooo

Her love language is primarily acts of service and quality time.

She enjoys quiet moments with you, it contradicts her usually very loud and violent life in a way she never ceases to cherish.

She hasn’t a clue in the world how to cook but she’d offer to help you when you were cooking

Usually she just sticks to chopping things

One time she was trying to help you cook and you asked her to help with ingredients. She grabbed the sugar instead of the salt.

She 100% is not an enjoyer of PDA unless it’s for the purpose of shooing other people away from you.

For the most part she's pretty good at hiding her jealousy, but it gets to a point where she becomes distant from everyone, you included.

You’d have to somehow sit her down and talk about it, but even that would take some time considering she’d probably try and get out of it being ‘going to train’

At this point she couldn't give a damn what people have to say about her, it's usually not very creative, they say one word about you? They're missing a finger.

She still goes off and constantly trains but she at least takes time to relax with you when she's done.

She doesn’t often get angry with you, but she does get sarcastic

If you start getting petty for whatever reason, her cure to that problem will be to just sit there and stare at you with an expression that says ‘is this really the route you wanna go down.’ and you decided whether to continue on with that behavior or not.

If you ever show interest in learning how to fight, she’ll indulge you, but she’ll obviously take it easy on you

Even if you knew how to fight she wouldn’t go all the way out of fear of having a repeat of Mikio

You would actually have to reassure her that your ego won't be bruised if she beats you.

In fact I’m sure most people would agree that they would find it incredibly attractive if she did anyways.

Sometimes, for no reason at all, she'll just grab your face and stare at you for a moment, plant a kiss on your lips and then walk away.

Catches you off guard every time

That's the exact reason why she does it.

She finds it funny hearing your reaction unfold as you process what had just happened as she walks away.

[certifiedsexed]

hey there! i don’t mean this in bad faith at all, and i’m not trying to use a term that’s a fascist dogwhistle. i promise i’m just confused😭

so i’m not a guy, nor have i ever been perceived as one, but in one of your recent posts, you said that men can’t experience oppression solely based on the fact that they’re men. which was kind of confusing to me — i don’t think you’re wrong, i think it’s me but i don’t know how to get to how you see it like that.

because in my experience, men can experience oppression because they’re men, although i don’t know if i’m saying that right or conflating the meanings of certain terms. i’m probably wrong, and would just love some clarification?

for example, my brother and i were always held to different standards growing up — it was expected of me to always cry and be emotional, and i was a ‘stone cold bitch’ if that wasn’t the case, but if my brother wanted to show negative emotions like sadness he was treated like there was something wrong with him too. and i know it wasn’t my brother — i spend a lot of time working with my high school’s diversity team, and in a lot of the events we organise, guys talk about how they feel enormous pressure to be angry and never sad, and to have stereotypically masculine interests and never deviate from that norm.

i also know men who’ve struggled to get jobs such as teaching as those are viewed as ‘female’ jobs and it’s a common view that men who want those jobs are ‘only in it to be around kids’. i’ve heard many women around me perpetuate sentiments like that, so i know they’re not making it up, even if it isn’t equal to the systematic oppression women face in almost every aspect of their careers.

i’m not providing these examples to prove you wrong, since i do think you’re right. i’m hoping that a window into the way i’ve always thought might help you clarify this in a way that can help me to change my mind, since i just think i’m lacking some clarity or context here. i think i’m conflating abuse and stereotypes with oppression, but i’m really not sure. any advice would be really appreciated!

i’m so sorry if this comes off badly, i don’t mean it that way. i’m just trying to learn, i promise i’m not trying to promote the kind of hate and close mindedness you’ve been seeing in your inbox as of late.

Hi! As always, I do not mind answering genuine questions!

The things you're talking about growing up and seeing boys around you pressured to present only certain emotions, that's part of the patriarchy!

Certain emotions are supposed to be "feminine" and thus boys shouldn't show them, while girls are often always considered "emotional" in some fashion. That's not oppression based on those boys being men that you're talking about.

It's the backlash that the patriarchy, and by addition trans/misogyny has on men. It's boys being pressured not to show certain emotions because those emotions are "feminine" and they're supposed to associate feminimity with weakness and shit.

What you're talking about there is also trans/misogyny!

The idea that men who do things perceived as feminine are predators, the idea that specific jobs are "female" jobs [while even in those specific female jobs, men are generally paid better and find it easier to get into those jobs than women trying to get into traditionally "male" jobs"]

[Though obviously this varies based on race and whether they're trans, etc, etc.]

To be a little more clear, all of the things you're talking about don't primarily affect cis men/boys. They fuck up transfems, because it's trans/misogyny.

You're right! It's not systemic oppression.

You might wonder if it's social oppression, which is also a no. Social oppression would require a historical/systemic oppression behind it. But that doesn't exist in this case.

What it is is the common issue oppressors run into. While they benefit greatly from oppression, there is also backlash they face from their own systems of oppression.

Like white people who fall into suicide cults trying to work towards white supremacy, or TERFs who fall into groups where they slowly pick each other off as they discover they're not all exactly the same and wind up accusing each other of not being "real" women, systems of bigotry simply do not work out perfectly even for the oppressors.

They never do.

To create the patriarchy, you must establish trans/misogyny, you must establish intersexism and you must push people to conform to those ideals, even if they hurt your own.

It's similar to how white supremacy can harm white people, despite white people obviously not being oppressed racially. The backlash of oppression hits even the oppressors sometimes.

Suppression, as a term, would honestly work far better to describe what you're talking about.

So yes, it's stereotyping, yes it's abusive to tell your children not to show/feel their emotions but it's not oppression based on these guys in your life being men! It's part of how trans/misogyny, transphobia and intersexism are enforced.

I understand exactly where you're coming from! It doesn't sound bad and I genuinely don't mind answering questions! Especially since you've got some good ones!

I'm not sure if I rambled too much to explain this properly but I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions and/or need me to clarify anything here. <33

[hunterintheice]

Shin lost his dream and his bestfriend on the same day. Losing his bestfriend is what hurt more. Losing his bestfriend is what he's still so angry about. Not Saint hurting him, not Saint costing him his dream, but Saint disappearing. Saint leaving him behind. Saint breaking him and tossing him aside.

I am convinsed that had Saint entered Shin's hospital room that day and apologized then and there, Shin would've already forgiven him a long time ago.

But that is also why Saint had to leave, at least from the narrative point (of course, in-universe most of it was probably due to Saint's shame about his own actions, his hesitation to face the consequences then and there, the dissappointment in himself, the fear of what Shin would say). As someone else already pointed out, if they reconciled at that point Saint would never really know the heavy weight of what he'd done. He'd still be remorsful, sure (we can see that the moment he realizes he broke Shin's leg he's instantly horrified and snaps out of the stupid plot he's built), but how could there not be a tiny part of him satisfied with the outcome? Shin didn't get to leave him, Shin forgave him, it all worked out.

So Saint had to leave, and Shin had to learn to hold onto his anger. But, this is also why Shin will still forgive Saint. Because Shin wants to, because the anger he's held onto for three years has started to hurt him more than it protects him. Because he still named his gang after Saint and used it to protect his classmates. Because he still trusts Saint to save his sister and to come save him.

And I don't see why so many people in the tag seem to think Saint is unforgivable. He made one bigass mistake at 16, high on toxic masculinity and general teenage stupidity, which is one of the worst possible combinations ever. Does it excuse his actions? No. Does it mean he is forever and ever a horrible person? Also no. He cannot change the past, but he has changed himself in the present. He himself admits that what went down 3 years ago happened because he was stupid and scared. Is he still behaving selfishly in persistently trying to reconsile with Shin? Yes. But unlike 3 years ago, when he'd rather hurt the person he loved most then let him walk away, in the present he's willing to let Shin go to make sure Shin has a future, even if that future doesn't include him. That's growth baby.

Also, he did want to hurt Shin, which is still an incredibly shitty thing to do, but he never intended to break Shin's leg and take his dream away. That was an accident that added an unfortunate magnitude to the consequences of Saint's actions born from the beforementioned teenage stupidity. And what a fucking way to have to grow up in a moment and learn about how some damage can never be undone.

[onedeadkitty]

Mizus Gender

He/him they/them she/her pronouns for Mizu

I know the writers of the show wrote blue eye samurai with Mizu as a woman disguised as a man in a way similar ish to Mulan but uh

They accidentally made it deeper than that ??

If you removed like 2 lines of dialogue in episode 5 you could even make an argument for trans masc Mizu. Or at the least gender queer.

Being transgender is not a concept in this time period. But trust. People have always wanted to be other genders, probably for the entirety of human history. And how someone would go about being trans in a world with no true understanding of the concept, might be similar to what Mizu IS DOING RIGHT NOW.

Living as a man. PERMANENTLY. Not temporarily to achieve some near goal like Mulan and the many other stories with this concept. Mizu has lived as a man nearly their entire life and no intention to ever live as a woman in the future.

Mizu admires their freshly binded chest in the mirror as a teen.

When alone Mizu refers to himself as a man.

When alone with Ringo, (someone who knows the secret) Ringo also refers to Mizu as a man.

Mizu threatens to straight kill Ringo at the the very use of the word “girl”.

When, and ONLY when seeing 2 MEN kiss does he think of Taigen.

Not to mention madame Kajis indelicate insinuation of gay sex to Mizu, something I believe wasn’t for no reason. OR Madams iconic line “you are more man than ANY come through my door” (I’m convinced she has an idea of Mizus true sex but doesn’t care to accuse or call them out for it)

They HAD lived as a woman in the past. Only for about a year, and they did it to get married for her mothers sake. To save her from a life of prostitution. She was able to be happy, because it IS POSSIBLE to be happy while not presenting how you like. It’s a strain and some can never be happy doing so but it’s possible and people do it all the time to make their lives easier or to keep the peace with family or for many other reasons.

Episode 5 gave HUGE VIBES of going back into the closet when living with your parents or just visiting. And Mizu looked SO uncomfortable and awkward in woman’s clothing and doing “wife things” (partly cause they have never done that before) and maybe it was my own projecting but I felt so uncomfortable FOR Mizu.

These things don’t necessarily mean being a transgender man specifically. Gender is actually really complicated and has ALOT to do with what society deems it.

Mizu is a masculine person. Being what Japan wants women to be isn’t in line with what Mizu is. A violent, practical, stoic, cold, masculine, confident and capable warrior.

dressing up as a woman with the makeup ONLY to try and make her husband happy. She didn’t WANT to. “To soften her husbands heart, the bride… danced” performed femininity FOR HIM. Only for Mikio to betray her for, in his eyes, being more masculine than him, by beating him in a physical fight.

Mizu is both the ronin and the bride. Mizu will be whatever they need to in order to achieve their owed deaths. They HAVE to be a man to get their revenge but that doesn’t mean Mizu WANTS to be a woman. (To be fair who WOULD in that time but I digress) and it doesn’t mean they WANT to be a man. They WANT their revenge. Everything is secondary to that.

Mizu is so different from other characters…

I grew up in a kinda misogynistic place and my mom really didn’t let me “do boy stuff” or dress masculine in any sense until my late teens. I my self don’t know if I can even call myself Trans. But I’m masculine, I like looking like a man and dressing as one but I don’t WANT to be a man necessarily. But I don’t WANT to be a woman. I feel like we as a society put to much distinction between the two and the people who don’t fit either side get left out at times.

Mizu is such a relatable character to me, like no other characters complicated feelings about their own sex and gender have ever come close.

They are for those who don’t have a strong sense of their own gender. Especially those who are biologically female and hesitant to lean into their sex because of the societal baggage.

Once people realize that how you dress, how you act, and what you do in reality have nothing to do with your bio sex and everything with what society has forced people to do based on factors out of our control is the day we can finally stop having these conversations.

Do what you want, gender is fake.

But Mizu is forever 🫶

[aruanimess]

For the ask, what about reverse warrior/paradisian Aruani, where Armin is from Marley and Annie is from Paradis? How do you think this would change the story?👀

Fanfic Author Never Have I Ever

Hey, Stella!

Well, I have shared some ideas about a similar premise here, but I've definitely never written it.

If I were to write something like this, I'd probably have Armin being a lot more lenient with the Paradisians. The plot would revolve around Armin finally deciding to give up on Marley and join the Paradisians. I know a lot of people want to see him commit war crimes (and don't get me wrong, he would), but I think a character with Armin's moral compass would snap when faced with the blatant injustice of Eldian discrimination.

As for Annie, I'd keep her backstory similar: her father wants her to join the Military Police to benefit himself. Still, I think she'd be more open to developing friendships in this scenario as she is not actively betraying anybody. She and Armin would become friends and slowly through time she'd figure out something was off about him and his mysterious friends (as I believe Armin would spend more time with RB than Annie does in canon) and she'd go into sleuth mode.

After Trost, and the revelation of Eren, she'd put two and two together and confront him. Armin would fight her off and try to silence her, revealing that he's a lot more martially inclined than he let on (as he's been trained for years in this AU and also has the benefit of healing quickly). Ultimately though, he wouldn't be able to go through with Marco-ing her as he has a) developed feelings for her and b) has become unconvinced of the supposed evilness of the Paradisians. Then, they'd devise a plan together to uncover the monarchy's secrets and make the public aware of the truth.

P.S. Sooo, there's also the problem of which Titan Armin would get, as Bertolt has the Colossus and is Armin's ally in this. My friend @midnightlighthowlite has a little project where the third member of the titan trio is Pieck instead, and, as much as I loooooove this possibility, to propose something different I say: I'd give Armin the Female. Knowing me, I'd probably turn it into a whole theme about gender identity, toxic masculinity and trans issues too, by having Armin endure bullying back home bc he was chosen for the "girl" titan. I'd have him experience gender dysphoria (either when transformed or when in his regular body depending on where I took the story) and struggle with his presentation in general. Obviously, this would be resolved by Armin embracing his feminine side, either by deciding he's some flavour of trans or by accepting that body parts are gender neutral.

[mtkay13]

Lord Zhou and the Ghost Valley Master Cross-posting because i'm just that wild, hah! /jk More about the art below! --and a little talk about WenZhou and their relationship to power (+ some meta).

So hum, it is no secret that I enjoy a bit of "spice" in WenZhou's dynamic and at times am very prolific on my nsfw twitter account.

Collars and leash stuff have been on and off, and I was recently enabled for more of that by friends going wild about ZZS on a leash, etc, etc. LBR: I don't think you need any reason to go feral about that kind of stuff--but seeing how I myself seemed to regress to the state of a wild horny beast while making this painting, I felt like I may need to adress it a little. Here are some of my thoughts about WenZhou & power:

WKX and ZZS are both men who are/were in a position of extreme power. Both rose to that position of extreme power, but from very different starting points and motivations.

ZZS was, from what we know from how he describes himself in TYK and from how he behaves in QY, a very smart, cocky, ambitious kid, who probably deliberately sold his services to HLY to keep rising. There were probably ideals mixed in that, but point is, ZZS desired that power, that influence, and was encouraged to reach it. Becoming a sect leader so young was probably a shock, but nothing indicates that this position wasn't wanted. ZZS also mentioned not having a physique as advantageous as ZCL's when he was a child; so he probably had to work hard to reach his goals. Point is: the power was desired and strived for.

WKX has, without a doubt, needed the power, without ever really showing any pleasure nor satisfaction in having it. Surviving in the GV =/= reaching the top; if anything, becoming the GVM put the largest target on his head--but it is likely that reaching the position of GVM was necessary for him to execute his plan (find the key, pull the right strings, obtain his revenge). WKX was a little genius who didn't want to study, and probably wasn't dreaming/aiming for power. Conclusion: the power was a necessity and a tool. Many various characterisation points/analysis/dynamics can be pulled from this, and it is quite interesting to explore how, later, their relationship to power can evolve, both re:the rest of the world and each other. For the following personal analysis, I also worked with the following points from the book:

ZZS admires WKX's strength and power

WKX seems to have multiple fantasies of control and domination

ZZS seems receptive to many of them (including the biting, the somno stuff, and the cnc suggestions)

WKX admires/envies/resents ZZS' freedom

ZZS has fun becoming a subversion of his past self (swearing, being gross, being ridiculous, being openly cocky)

WKX is a control-freak and is very patient

ZZS is a bit conservative

WKX quite the opposite

Now how does that bring me to ZZS on a leash for the GVM?

(note that this is my current conclusion, not the conclusion)

I like to think that on the one hand, ZZS is that man who sees himself as a man and enjoys a lot of things about masculinity. The power that he likes for himself, he also enjoys seeing it in someone else's hands--he likes fighting for it, but (and this is a very personal interpretation) I like to believe he gets the most thrills from being overpowered; because it shows how strong the other is, bc it subverts whom he is himself. The power he's fought to get, has had all his life, but ended up leaving him alone at the top, feels good when taken from him--or when there's someone strong enough that he isn't alone up there anymore. On the other hand, I feel like although WKX would benefit from relinquishing some control and power, he does enjoy using it in a personal, pleasurable way, rather than by necessity. While he probably likes toying with presentations, with appearances, and doesn't mind being perceived as the wife, as the more submissive one in their fake-traditional relationship play of husband and wife, having the power, holding the leash---simply out of pleasure and mutual satisfaction is, I think very cathartic and arousing for him.

But then, why precanon? For the aesthetic bc I'm a simp for TC!era ZZS. And because showing him so strong, so powerful, yet leashed, is kind of a reminder that... It's not about real power. It's not about who, between them, is the strongest, the most powerful, the winner or whatever. It adds that thrill, the aknowledgement that this is out of freewill and choice and pleasure, I guess.

On top of that, man, I'm sorry, but peak TC!ZZS right post-QY canon after he's become the most powerful man in the country but is completely jaded by what happened in the end? On a leash? For a man he respects?? ugh

Anyway TLDR; I think it's hot and all of that gibberish barely has anything to do with my actual motivations to draw this.

[odoroussavourssweet]

Perfumes for Vorkosigan Saga Characters

There are enough offhand references to fragrance in the Vorkosigan books that I strongly suspect Lois McMaster Bujold of being a perfume enthusiast. Also it's fun to imagine what the characters would wear.

Aral and Miles Vorkosigan

Miles is sometimes noted to wear a traditional masculine cologne, and he strikes me as the sort to wear the same thing his father does, as a sort of default grooming routine. You don't get much more traditional and correct than Chanel Monsieur, a mossy, bone-dry cologne/chypre hybrid.

Cordelia Vorkosigan

As the author-insert character, I think Cordelia enjoys perfume and knows exactly what she wants. I picture her in my beloved vintage Rochas Mystere, an earthy, outdoorsy, yet elegant chypre, with lots of brisk cypress and a rusty warm carnation heart to match her auburn hair.

Alys Vorpatril

Alys is a lady of a certain age with excellent taste, and therefore appreciates the formal, embellished perfection of Divine, a classical aldehydic floral weighted towards tuberose.

Ivan Vorpatril

Ivan has no taste of his own; once he got old enough to try dousing himself in body spray as a teen, his mother bought him a bottle of Divine L'Etre Aime Homme, a classically French masculine with a warm, smoky immortelle note, which sets off his darkly athletic good looks.

Elena Bothari-Jesek

Elena, I think, came to perfume later in life, finding a balm in a private feminine pleasure that wasn't part of her rigidly militaristic youth. She'd appreciate something delicate and poignant, like YSL Paris, a rose-violet powder-puff scent.

Bel Thorne

Bel was once mentioned wearing "floral perfume" to emphasize its feminine side. The adventurous Betan mercenary strikes me as a tuberose fan, and I imagine it wearing something like Frederic Malle Carnal Flower -- bold, sleek, streamlined, stylish but not too obscure. (Bel is, at heart, a bit of a normie.)

Elli Quinn

Space-station-born Elli is used to being in confined spaces with strangers, so she never wears perfume -- she even insists on unscented soaps. But she might have picked up a bottle of Etat Libre d'Orange Secretions Magnifiques as a vile practical joke (it smells, very realistically, like vomit.)

Taura

Taura's genetic enhancements gave her an exceptional sense of smell, and her lust for life and enthusiastic experiments in feminine presentation suggest she would absolutely try out perfume, but she's not analytical enough to get super into it. Somebody gives her Narciso Rodriguez For Her, a basic sweet floral musk, and she sticks with that.

Cavilo

The sociopathic mercenary Cavilo is described as wearing a very sharp green floral perfume that gives Miles allergies. I imagine this as Tom Ford Vert Boheme, a clean, contemporary take on the classic 1970s green florals, which smells exactly like a crisp green leaf before opening out into a ladylike magnolia.

Pel Navarr

The Cetagandans are perfume-lovers, so the aristocratic haut Pel would certainly wear perfume. Given her restrained, elevated tastes, I picture her in Parfums MDCI Le Cri De La Lumiere, a barely-there, sparkling-white iris-rose concoction of surpassing purity.

Lilly Durona

I have a soft spot for the Durona Group -- rogue ancap bioengineering clone family of my heart. In her artificially extended lifespan, the matriarch Lilly must have tried her hand at perfuming at some point, and probably invented a few new aromachemicals of her own. All the Durona women have flower names, and I imagine Lilly wears her namesake via something similar to Serge Lutens Un Lys, the most realistic, narcotic, honey-dripping lily scent ever.

Mark Vorkosigan

We know Mark's visual aesthetic tends towards the dark and gloomy, his gustatory tastes run towards the sweet and indulgent, and his erotic tastes are, um, both. There's only one right answer here and it's Bvlgari Black: fetishy black rubber up top, birthday-cake sweet vanilla below.

Enrique Borgos

Enrique is a nerd, and in his own way an aesthetic soul. I guarantee you he is interested in perfume, and he'd gravitate to the perfumer's perfumer, the chemist Christophe Laudamiel. He would be fascinated by the strange "neon-hologram" effect in The Zoo Spacewood.

Kareen Koudelka

Kareen's adventurous nature probably took her to try some perfumes on Beta Colony, and she'd invariably gravitate to warm, cozy ambers and gourmands. I can see her in the unpretentious burnt-caramel smell of Kerosene Broken Theories.

Ekaterin Vorsoisson

The reserved, introverted Ekaterin has "unerring taste". Which means, in an olfactory context, she's probably figured out that Liz Moores is one of the best living perfumers. I have Ekaterin pegged for an iris lover, so she wears Papillon Angelique, a delicate, rustic spring iris with subtle, velvety layers of texture.

[luna-rainbow]

Allow me to present the defense case for Peggy Carter.

I don't mean the PC who is in What If BTW. I don't know who she is, but she's not Peggy. I mean the original version from 2011-2014, especially from recently re-watching The First Avenger.

Peggy comes off as being very aloof, detached and rather condascending at times. I argue that's because she had to be. Its very hard for women in the armed forces even today- but back in the 1940s it would have been even more difficult for a woman to hold her own in a male dominated context like the army. She'd have had to worked many times harder to prove herself and to gain the respect which her male counterparts took for granted purely by virtue of their gender and rank. If she showed any kind of emotional vulnerability or it seemed like she didn't know what she was doing, the men would have pounced on it and taken it as "evidence" she was just a weak and feeble woman who didn't belong in "thier" world. Even then... we still see people being insubordinate and talking down to her. When she punched that soldier who was making lewd remarks (can't remember his name) I don't see her being a bully. I see a woman having to deal with the type of casual sexism she probably experienced on a daily basis. When men who were far below her in rank treated her with contempt or just saw her as a sex object. No way that soldier would *ever* have spoken to a senior ranking male like that... She was also dealing with it in a very masculine way. Like another soldier would. In regards to Steve: again I don't think Peggy is ever intentionally mean or cruel to him. Yes, she's sassy and snarky, but I think she had to learn to be like that to hold her own among men. Her interactions with him in the movie are actually quite positive overall: she smiles when he uses his ingenuity and jumps on a dummy grenade, she doesn't talk about how weak he was she views him as a proper soldier when a lot of others don't: including Colonel Phillips. Even after the Serum Philips just sees him as some glorified performer whereas she trusts his judgement: reluctantly at first but willingly afterwards.

For his own part, Steve never talks down to her or views her as inferior. He was probably one of first men who did that only after Howard Stark perhaps.

When she said that Bucky was probably dead: again I don't think she was being uncaring. That line came after just after saying the 107th had been through "more than most" upon seeing an ambulance bringing an injured soldier back from the front. It seems to me she didn't want to see *another* man die in what she had every reason to think was a suicide mission. I mean, its very likely she'd lost friends before, maybe even had family members killed. Besides of which, she ended up helping Steve go on that rescue mission by persauding Howard to drop him near the HYDRA facility on his plane. Then didn't apologize for her actions afterwards even though Colonel Philipps basically threatened to basically demote her.

Finally, that scene where she fires her gun at Steve's shield: again I don't see that as bullying. When he kissed that other woman (*who did it very deliberately in front of Peggy*) it was quite obviously an attempt to make her jealous. (Not on Steve's part, but the other woman). I think in that moment she felt betrayed, because she believed Steve was different to the other men she encountered. Men who just saw her as a conquest or an airhead. She thought he was behaving "just like the other soldiers"- i.e treating women as objects, and she had an emotional reaction. She was actually wrong, but that proves she's flawed. She's human after all!

So yeah, Peggy in The First Avenger is great. She's sassy and snarky but she does seem to genuinely care for Steve as well. I see them as having a lot in common: both people who struggle to be accepted by others but find their place eventually.

Okay, before I start, I want to say that I did like her mannerisms when I first saw CATFA, because I like no-nonsense female characters. However, movies!Peggy was not a fully formed character — just as movies!Bucky wasn’t. One was the token love interest, the other was the token best friend. Hence, there are specific traits embedded in Peggy’s characterisation, or rather her story roles, that are factors of a male author writing a female love interest for a genre about macho superhero men. Which in itself is a product of the misogynistic nature of 2010 MCU.

Firstly, she’s never actually had her rank or her professional role specified. She introduced herself as an “agent supervising all operations of this division”, but all she does is hover around Howard and Philips in their offices. She’s not on the battlefield with Steve (no matter how her own series tried to rewrite it). She’s not in the field acting as a spy/agent. We are told she’s important, because somehow as an agent she’s giving orders to military trainees — a weird role but we can give her that suspension of disbelief — but we are never shown her doing anything important to contribute to war efforts. More than this being Peggy is a useless person, it’s a symptom of the writer not knowing how to handle a female professional in WW2, to the point of calling her an agent but having her both being in the science division and giving military trainee orders but hanging around looking like a secretary. And why exactly could Philips threaten to demote her? Who does she even work for? He could demote her if she’s military but she’s not. So it’s never clear that those soldiers are her subordinates, because they’re not. She’s not in the chain of command! And so why should they respect someone who’s not in their chain of command telling them that she’s going to give orders? She does have to earn it.

You and I remember that kissing scene very differently. Firstly, Lorraine pulled him into a kiss, Steve didn’t kiss her. We need to get the instigator clear here. We can debate how much of a willing participant Steve was, because that scene can be read anywhere from “Steve was unsure at first but then started to enjoy it” to “Steve was in shock the whole time and his hands came up to push her away”. Secondly, there’s no suggestion that either Lorraine or Steve knew Peggy was within watching distance, so I don’t agree with the interpretation that anyone did it to make Peggy jealous. Thirdly, Peggy and Steve were not an item at that stage, so it’s rather presumptuous of her to “feel betrayed”. What did he betray? He said he was waiting for the right partner, he didn’t say the right partner was her. She’s the one who’s taken it upon herself to demand his faithfulness. He never indicated he was happy to enter into that social contract. Fourthly, you’ve acknowledged that her emotional response to another woman kissing Steve was “flawed”, but object to that violent retaliation being called “bullying”. So let’s call it for what it is: unprofessional, unethical, unromantic, and bloody unhinged.

I’m sorry, there is no possible justification for discharging a gun at a man (and specifically in this case a man who is not in a relationship with you) over a kiss in an enclosed space at work where other bystanders could get injured.

But you know what? That scene is another symptom of male writers not knowing how to write a strong female love interest. In 2010 everyone knew it would be bad form if a man hit a woman for being kissed by another man, but violent anger from a woman directed at a man? That was seen as cute and funny and sweet. And that view exists because of the infantilisation of women. Female anger is seen as “not that hurtful” and “not that important”, dismissed as a momentary “emotional outburst” because women are prone to emotional outbursts, it’s a womanly thing to suddenly lose grip on logic over a jilted love. Where in a man that emotional volatility and violence would be a major character flaw that would turn him into a villain, in a woman that’s…cute and harmless.

So you know, Peggy was at the same level of neglect that Bucky-with-two-birthdates was. She was not a character they cared enough about to even give her a proper professional role in the army. She’s there because the movie needed a love interest. She’s there to show how unwanted Steve was before the serum, and how desirable he became after the serum. She appears, every now and then, to remind the audience she exists, but never in a way that directly affects the plot. @amarriageoftrueminds has multiple excellent metas explaining why the story could have proceeded without Peggy being present. She’s a character we are continuously told is important, but the narrative gives her only counselling type dialogues, and while those conversations are placed at narratively important milestones, none of her suggestions make any sway on Steve’s original plans before he started talking to her, making her someone who has minimal impact on Steve’s arc and on the story as a whole.

[hayleymarriedjakurai]

since you don't personally headcanon J as trans, i wanted to know what you think J's relationship with being a cis woman is like, if you have any thoughts? given her abject denial of being associated with just about any feminine traits, and instead choosing to associate with traits more typically seen as masculine, why might she (in your opinion) still choose to express a female gender? just food for thought, trying to provoke some analysis. i am a cis person writing this too, so maybe i don't understand it all too well either... haha

ok this is a deep one so im gonna preface this with reminding you that im headcanoning. everything i say is a headcanon. im not confirming nor denying anything! with that, i have some thoughts on this! so her mom definitely ruined this for her. the internalized misogyny is because of her mother forcing her to present as overly feminine/in her image since early childhood. i feel like she wouldn't be so strongly against more traditionally feminine things if she wasn't forced so heavily/her mother was a better person. But how J was treated by her/forced to be made so uncomfortable with how she presents outwardly for the majority of her life, it left a deep rooted hatred for anything of that nature. This is reflected in the asks where dev describes things she like as "whatever makes her feel cool" or "cool things". What is the definition of cool? To J, it's anything not stereotypically seen as girly. She doesn't understand that it's okay to be "girly" or like things that fall in this category. She would probably beat herself up about liking anything that counts as such. For example, hide that she potentially thinks something like baking is fun, or that a fashion-genre video game was fun to play. She is so so so so in deep hatred of her past self and what her mother treated her like, she sees anything like that as bad/weak/awful because that's how she felt she was back then. I think there could be an arc where she like...slowly comes to accept that she doesn't have to force herself to be this person that is cool and can only like cool things, that interests don't have genders, and that she can look however she wants. Maybe she becomes a bit more confident and feels that she doesn't have to hide behind the hoodie as much. I won't say she'll dress more femme, but if she ever got to that point and wanted to experiment with the style again good for her- but she can wear whatever the hell she wants. once she stops associating femininity with her mom, i think she'll grow a lot as a person and be more open about liking/being interested in things that she would criticize before for being too girly.

[navstuffs]

Blind Date

Pairing: Leon x GN!Reader

Summary: Luis arranges a blind date for you.

Warnings: short fluffly/comedy one-shot, au (obvs), awkward reader, alcohol consumption (leon, reader can be drinking whatever)

Author's Notes: : hello, this is my first official leon fanfic! i have two or three more projects with him but idk when they will be coming out. i had lots of fun writing this and i hope you do have fun reading it! i used this video as ambiance for bar sounds if you want to imagine yourself there as you read it!

You enter the bar on a Saturday night, adjusting your jean jacket. The place is crowded, and your eyes glance around, looking for your date. Doesn't seem he has arrived yet. This would be your first blind date ever, and honestly, you didn't know why you were doing this. Luis insisted that you go; he knew a great guy, and Luis promised you would have lots of fun.

The hostess takes you to the bar counter, you sit and order your favorite drink before anxiously turning your head to the door. It is alright, he isn't late, you are just early. Fifteen minutes to be exact. Also, if he doesn't appear, you could use that as your social experience of the year, and Luis wouldn't be able to take you to any more social gatherings. Perfect.

"Waiting on someone?" You turn to the sudden masculine voice at your side, startled. The man is wearing a dark blue shirt, too tight for his chest, you think, and dark jeans. He has blonde hair, some hair locks in front of his face. And he is attractive. Like the type you would see on the cover of magazines as some sort of male supermodel. 

"Mhm, yeah. My very first blind date, actually," You admit, ashamed, as the bartender places your drink in front of you.

"Oh? Do you know what they look like?"

"No. My friend said look, go there and give my friend a chance. Not a single tip, except his item is pink."

"And what is your color?" 

"Something neon," Feeling silly, you point to the neon bandana around your neck. Blonde guy turns at your side, and you feel his blue eyes lock at your bandana for a second before turning back, sipping from his whiskey cup. You give another quick look toward the door. Nothing yet.

"You must trust this friend a lot to come to this date without even knowing what your date looks like."

"Tell me about it?! Luis said it needed to be like the first time meeting, or it would 'break the magic'! If I didn't trust Luis so much, I'd never EVER come to meet a man I don't even know the name!"

"You don't know his name?!" Hot blonde guy sounds shocked and amused. Well, you look foolish now.

"As I said, Luis told me it needed to be first magical meeting or something or wouldn't work?! Now you are making me feel silly, Mr...?"

"Leon. Leon Kennedy," You present yourself and shake his hand. Leon looks entertained, watching you look over the door again. Nine minutes still. You quickly glance in Leon's direction, realizing the size of his arms. He probably worked out a lot to have arms like that, damn. Could break you in half if he wanted in so many different ways.

"What do you think he looks like?" Leon suddenly questions, bringing you back from your impure thoughts. You can feel his side stare as you ponder.

"Mhmmm...fun? Smart? Easy-going? Less awkward than me on this?" 

"What if he is more awkward than you?"

"Then, pardon my language Leon, but then we are both fucked." 

"You don't seem to do this often," Leon affirmed as the most obvious thing in the world. You scoff.

"Wow, you figured that one now?"

Your attention is taken by the sound of the door opening. You turn, anxious to see a man with a long sleeve light pink shirt walk in. He enters, glances around, and looks at his phone. Shit, shit, shit. He is cute. Not as attractive as Leon, but oh well. Doesn't look so awkward, like you, he looks like he belongs to this place. You don't know what to do to yourself now, maybe if you sit differently, he could see your bandana better. Rolling your eyes because of your nervousness, you turn the bandana around, praying that he notices you. 

He waves at you, prompting you to wave back. He walks in your direction, smirking ear to ear, and passes to meet his friends, leaving you mortified. This was not happening!

"Shiiiiiiitt...." You groan, resting your forehead down into the bar. Leon hides his mouth with his hand, holding back a laugh. You murmur to yourself, "Well, that was supposed to be expected, I guess, with my luck."

You get up, not looking in Leon's direction, asking for the bill. After this fiasco, you wouldn't stay at this bar for any minute longer.

"You know, thank you so much for being patient with me, Leon, it was really great, I appreciate that, and I hope you have a great nigh-" The rest of the sentence dies down in your throat as you see the small pink panther statue resting in front of Leon. Your stare goes to his face as he finishes his cup and turns to you, a teasy smirk on his lips, his blue eyes glowing in your direction.

"I don't think I am late, am I?"