#would it be crazy to apply for a job
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#would it be crazy to apply for a job#that's basically the same job i have... but for my favorite music hall in the city instead of like... neat apparel brand#it's just that i REALLY like my job and my boss is cool and chill and my wfh days are so lax lmao#the salary increase is like.... not that much and is only a little higher than my yearly raise is#the resume clout is like... the same too#but like..... i'd literally cry if i worked for that hall LOL#BUT also like....... i have a good boss and good higher ups and that's rare af#it's literally the same exact job i have though just for a different place...#contact 3-4 different brands for art assets... put the art assets together to look pretty... communicate with printers to make sure they#print everything correct... yell at printers when wrong and be nasty about COLORS#I JUST DONT THINK ITS WORTH THE RISK OF A WEIRDO BOSS AGAIN..... BUT IT'S SO COOL SO I WANNA TRY#personal
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black eyes
#my stuff#my writing#mein fucking goat i cannot keep having dreams about my ex and yet it is happening still#this is one of the less remarkable ones even. i’ve had two in the past month where i try desperately to give them a flatscreen tv#and one of those big ones too. like 40 inches across. i don’t own a flatscreen tv#i’ll admit it being in singapore is hitting me like a brick to the balls and i am grievously unwell#it’s like i come back and all the work i put in to deal with my anxiety and depression gets high in the woods and dies#but that’s not the point. the point is devoid of friends (in fucking america) and a hyperfixation (haven’t found anything that’s stuck)#i am full of nothing but yearning. good ol classic yearning. and i am so moved on from my ex but i keep trying to give them this fucking tv#!!!! ?????? huh????????????? mayne got………#a girlfriend or a cat would fix me. or leaving this country take your pick#working on it#i’ve made a to do list to combat my i have lost the will to do things problem#and on it is APPLY TO JOBS (note; outside singapore (note: outside america too))#i have a plan and it’s to get as far away as possible and live#we’re getting there#in the meantime here’s a funny poem#i was so. in the dream i actually wanted to see them which is crazy. top 10 bad fan characterizations#but it was a dream with a good color palette. all cool whites and grays and a deep deep blue for the night#cold cold white snow. etc. so of course i had to write about it#which i have done. and now i am going to sleep#good bye
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#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day#is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into#spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill#keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else#and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late#to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a#job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place#but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human#level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker#unrelated
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I’ve been contemplating on getting a second job again for extra spending money, but the last time I had a second job, I lasted six months and burned out so bad, I started hallucinating on my drive home from my second job some nights. However, the money is SO nice when you work two jobs… Hmm.
#personal#I was also commuting almost an hour each way for my main FT job which didn’t help with the lack of sleep.#Also my second job was at Starbucks as a closer. I was making $10 an hour at the time doing that. TEN DOLLARS….#And then I got fired because I didn’t show up for something I didn’t know I had to show up for LMAO.#And I wouldn’t do anything crazy for a second job. Like maybe I’ll apply to fucking Target or something.#I’m not hurting for money thankfully. I just think the extra money would be nice for some things (travel concerts and stuff).
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Hrgrhrg
#applied for a very interesting job but unclear how transferring my employment card would work even if i get it#also if so would have to say hey im leaving to my boss who i actually like#well we'll see if i can even get an interview I'll have to acid test them to make sure they aren't crazy#before i even start worrying about not getting Papers Pleased#I <3 BUREAUCRACY#did you know the Czech standard notice period is two months from the month after it is given?
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The conclusion of this fiasco weekend is that I'm perfectly fine living on my own and if I could live without having to interact with another human being for the rest of my life I will be too.
#relationships of all kind are just fucking exhausting#im fine with my cat#and books#honestly if i could stop my phone addiction#I could just live off my cat and my books#that would be great#unfortunately i have to work#and this shit is draining me like crazy so when i expect a family trip and i end up stuck with their shit#im like 200% drained now#and only have a tomorrow to refuel#except i won't be able to do so cause i have to catch up the stufr i could have done if i knew this weekend was gonna be wasted#im gonna apply for these 'isolated on an island watching pingouins' kind of job
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soooooo this afternoon i found out some devastating news about my current financial situation and am basically screwed. if ANYONE can help me out with rent and some recent medical and vehicle emergency bills, i would so greatly appreciate it. (or just sharing this helps i guess i don't know.)
paypal
#mutual aid#mutual aid request#donations#donation request#basically i've been receiving unemployment and was told one thing way back in july *BY UNEMPLOYMENT*#and when i called today because my benefits are almost up they told me THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE#so for six months i was operating on one set of instructions only to find out at the end of those six months that it was bogus so i'm fucke#like super fucked#so absolutely fucked#i know it's the end of the year / new year / holidays and nO ONE is financially able to help but i just need to put it out there#ALSO IF ANYONE HAS ANY LEADS ON ANY FUCKING JOBS#I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE THAT#cuz i've been applying for jobs like crazy and FUCKING NOTHING#happy new year TO ME#(like i knew this new year was gonna suck but WOW COULD IT SUCK EVEN WORSE SINCE IMMA BOUT TO BE HOMELESS WHEEEEEEEEEE)#(i'm literally still so mad after that phone call and gurl was AWFUL and like 'welp nothing i can do you're on your own')#(and i'm sitting there (after being on hold for well over an hour) going YEAH BUT THIS IS *YOUR* SCREW UP. NOT. MINE.)#(anyway i feel like walking into traffic for real cuz what's the point)#(YES I'M ALLOWED TO BE UPSET AND SCARED OKAY)#signal boost#aid#signal b00st#happy new year
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U know I'm deciding rn. If I'm still single at 30 then I am just Having a goddamn baby
#the sky speaks#can't wait around forever#like i would prefer to raise a kid with a partner. and romance sure sounds nice. but having a baby sounds nicer :/#and while having a kid kind of complicates dating or whatever. why would i personally wanna date someone who doesn't want kids 🤔#I'm not ready for one rn but I'll never be 100% ready bc no one is. but i hope by then i have a steady enough job or smthn. idk#rambling now . currently watering plants at work#have yet to see any cool bugs. too early for them. sad#OH and the animal care tech job didnt pan out but i was encouraged by both the head of department and my moms friend who is a professorThere#to keep applying bc sometimes it just takes rly rly long#my moms friends ex finally got a job there after like 8 months#so imma keep trying#thankfully i have zoo job until november#thats. life rn ig#just chillin. been playing mc lately. havent been drawing enough. still sorta have a crush on this girl at work but also shes SO annoying#OH i did an open mic and it went well :)#i went to a Party (arguably a small get together with alcohol) and didnt die (crazy for me)#and thats that on oversharing hour! thanks for tuning in
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i am experiencing emotions rn and idk what they are :)
#so i got laid off in march and i have not shut up about it since bc it was a horrible experience and i’m still upset about it#and quite literally the only place i wanted to work after that wasn’t hiring at the time but they said to check back in the summer#so i just started picking up extra shifts at my second job bc i’d rather wait on this place than apply to places i have no interest in#then end of april i get a call from this girl i met at my old job saying she got fired#we were super close last year and then our friendship got super weird and tense when she suddenly became my boss#and tbh i’m not at all surprised she got fired bc as much as i like her as a person she was not at all qualified to be running that business#but anyway we’ve been talking more lately than we have in the past couple months#and i was thinking our friendship could maybe go back to normal now that neither of us works there anymore#BUT now i’m feeling super weird like idk if i’m uncomfortable or annoyed or what i’m just feeling put off#bc the place i wanted to work finally started hiring a couple weeks ago and i applied and interviewed last week#and yesterday i got the job which i’m super excited about#and this friend just sent me a screenshot of her rejection letter for the exact same job at the same location#like am i crazy or is it justified to be weirded out by that??#why would you apply for the same exact job as me and not even tell me until after you get rejected#and i know she knows i applied bc i’ve been talking about it nonstop with all my friends#like i’m so confused#it’s not even about the fact that she could’ve potentially gotten chosen over me it’s just weird that she didn’t tell me she was applying#i’ve literally been talking about this job since before they were even hiring like as soon as i got laid off i said i wanted to work here#she didn’t get fired until almost 2 months after that so she wasn’t looking for a job until a couple weeks ago#so i can’t think of any scenario where it would make sense for her to just not mention this to me#idk someone please tell me if this is weird or not bc idk how to respond to her rn#lj.txt
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“no one wants to work anymore” they wont let me do the job for highschoolers. with my college degree.
#Im freaking it rn hopefully they will actually email me back the deadline isnt til next week but Im actually going so fucking crazy#this is EXACTLY what the hr lady told me to do before.#Ive applied here before for a different position and I didnt get the job and she said it was just a very#competative round and I should apply again next time the position opened up#or apply for the lower rung job which is. this one. like fucking hell you like me#I have extensive volunteer experience here#I have multiple references who like me in the building and would vouch for ne#let me do the stupid fucking job for highschoolers.
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Fully committing to ending 2024 as a flop photographer/barista
#spent my shift making a list of cafes I would be willing to commute to#so I can spend a couple weeks drafting cover letters/optimizing my resume#and then around the start of next month mass applying#while trying to get involved w a local art museum/build some network w my art#it'll be hard and exhausting#but it is crazy how rejuvenated the idea of leaving this job for things I know I enjoy (even when hard) is so so bug#I'm still scared and struggling w a lot but.#it feels better and I think I have a direction to grow in#it just sucks the things i want NOW I'm still probably 18 or so months from#personal
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like. Also "this [doing homework] is your Job!# its like a Job!!" hello .i never asked to be born
#squeaking#Sorryy but why does everyone try so hard to apply Job Logistics to a kid struggling with homework#Oh id be fired? Would i be fired if i acted like this to a boss?#thats crazy. Good thing yoire MY MOM and not a boss then.????#negative
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the world works in such mysterious ways
#🍒#went to buy a vacuum earlier and right as i went to push the last button to buy it the power went out in my building and next door#like thee very second i clicked like there were steps before that took some time like movin monies around#but aint that crazy#and then the other option that i havent applied to for the only sorta job id leave this one for msgd me on indeed first#which is baller bc this one i have an interview w tomorrow would likely mean a pay cut (not good) whereas w this opt id make same or more#i wonder if i pulled a card for the day rn what itd be…
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#i feel batshit crazy#and also incredibly lucky#I started my new job a bit more than a month ago#and it has been disappointing and boring so far#so like 5 days after I started I applied to another job#which seems 100 times more interesting and in line with what I am capable of doing#I passed all the interviews these past couple of weeks#and I GOT IT :)#i am so happy because it’s a killer opportunity#but also I feel absolutely terrible for my current employer#i received the news today so obviously I haven’t told my employer yet and I still don’t know when I will be able to make the switch#it’s so weird and unlike me to behave like this…I feel like a traitor#but also I don’t have any time to waste like…no#i don’t really trust my judgement anymore because I was also very happy when I got my current job and I thought it would be great#but i realize now that it was the idea of changing and the possibility to leave consulting that made me so excited at that time#I really hope the new position will fit me more#i think it will honestly. my future boss is quite young and was also a consultant in a top firm when we talked it was quite easy to connect#hmmm we’ll see#also I made it very clear that I wanted a break between the 2 jobs#to not repeat the mistake in December - when I had just a weekend between my two jobs#anyway !! I am very lucky#but also sooo stupid because I am achieving a lot professionally and it’s great and all#and yet I feel so behind and childish and incomplete because I am still so so so very single urghh#whatever. so much change has happened in the past year that now I am addicted to it and am acting very boldly so who knows what can happen
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i have a crush on someone i met a month and a half ago who i only saw for a week then that i'm seeing again for a week now and that i'm gonna see for four more weeks from now until june this is what life is all about
#and like i say: brf slt#i hadn't had a CRUSH on someone in literal years. like it was bad for me and this isn't even bc i'm bored i'm just attracted to them. yay!#you have to talk to people to like people i'm finding. because i didn't notice that i was charmed until i was charmed by the talking#the way we met (lmao) is i'm studying to be a teacher. and they work in the middle school i spend a few weeks at this school year#but like that person is not a teacher they work there like when kids don't have class they'll be in a classroom doing their homework or#whatever and they would be the one like telling them to not make any noise#amongst other things#idk if there's a word for that in english it's a very specific job. and anyway. we had to go like where these people work like the specific#part of the school the last time we were there (me and the girl i'm studying with who's with me when i'm...at this middle school. it's like#an internship but it feels weird to call it an internship. but that's what it is) and they were like come see us again from 4 to 5 later#we'll do *this* and we played board games with the kids that were there and that probably sounds weird but it was very fun and funny and#that's when i was like waittttt. and then i looked for them on social media at midnight#i kind of didn't think about them once from six weeks ago to monday but on monday i was like omg i'm gonna see my crush again😁 and then i#did on tuesday and we had a fun interaction and everything because we're bffs. anyway. this is great#when i didn't see them on monday i was like omg what if they quit😔 but they hadn't.#it's just the right amount for it to be fun because like i don't know this person and i won't know them because i won't see them again#until march and after that until may but like it's fun for the weeks i do see them. saw them for 3 minutes on tuesday and like 25 today#it's a job YOUNG PEOPLE do it's not like an old person😭 we're around thesame age. i actually applied to a job like that 3 years ago but#i cried during the interview because i'm crazy like that. i had 2 interviews at 2 different high schools and i didn't cry during the#second interview but i still didn't get the job. lol. but as i was saying young person and i feel like we would genuinely get along like#in an ideal world we would all have drinks together like with my friends and everyone and we would actually hang out. me saying that#instead of like in an ideal world we would: date is you can't even dream a whole dream can you coded😭😭 but like. whatever
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so the terrible no good news today is that ...
i lost my job. so that fucking sucks. and it's absolutely terrifying trying to plan for my finances (rent, utilities, food, meds). as soon as i got home, i started the unemployment and food assistance application dance.
if anyone could help me out, because i don't know when i'm going to land another job, i would greatly appreciate it.
(and on top of that shitstorm, i also got my lease renewal this afternoon and rent went up considerably so this is gonna be ... yay so much fun.)
#i hate asking this#but right now it's something of an emergency#i'm hoping to get some financial aid from the state but who the fuck knows if that happens or how long that will take#so i'm gonna be applying for jobs like crazy until i can get something#but if you or anyone you know can help out financially or sending job openings i would really freaking appreciate it#personal#yay life sucks#signal boost
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