#would illumi ever scream?

[morallygreyyn]

hi!! i hope you're having a good day/night <3

if it's not too out there, could i request softdomme!reader restraining illumi and edging him with a vibe to try to get more of a reaction than usual out of him? break this man <3

gn or female reader is fine, up to you!

in search of perfection (sub!illumi x domme!reader)

description: you had seldom heard illumi moan, but those times you had, it was like music to your ears. now, you wanted to know what it was like when he screamed...

authors note: break him i shall, dearest anon, break him i shall <3

warnings: smut, domme/sub dynamic, edging, forced orgasms, mirror sex, smidge ooc illumi towards the end (?) this is definitely a hear me out moment as he would probably never do this but i truly just want to hear this man scream 🤧 is that so wrong?

word count: 1.5k

minors dni

requests are open! please read my rules!

You brought your mouth to Illumi’s just as he reached another climax, his fingers tightening around the restraints that bound him, a quiet grunt escaping his otherwise perfectly quiet demeanour. 

“I love seeing you like this, Illumi.” You whispered to him, nibbling his earlobe. “The sight gives my heart a bit of a rush.”

“Why?” He got the words out through clenched teeth, still feeling the relentless whirr of the vibrator against his prostate.

“I have Illumi Zoldyck under my touch, orgasmming for me over and over, being oh so obedient.” You smiled sweetly, knowing your actions were anything but. “It really is quite beautiful.”

“I don’t see what is beautiful about it.”

“You are beautiful.” He seemed to freeze at your words, mouth forming the perfect ‘o’ shape. Lovingly brushing some hair out of his face, you kissed him again before stopping the vibrator, knowing that he was on the verge of reaching another climax.

“Y/n.” 

“Yes?”

“Why?”

“For fun.” You grinned, stroking his cheek. It wasn’t time for him to know of your greater plan just yet. “You’ll be a good boy and obey, won’t you?”

Flipping the vibrator back on, you watched with delight when Illumi’s muscles strained and pulled, keeping as still as possible like you wanted. You knew he was more than strong enough to demolish any form of bonds, but that would result in your displeasure, and Illumi oddly loved to please. Illumi was also tough, and would never express what he was feeling, if anything at all. So, being the helpful person that you are, you took it upon yourself to coax whatever reactions out of him that you could. If that meant breaking him then so be it.

Sensing he was close again, you cruelly turned off the vibrator and stood.

“Where are you going?” He asked as you left him on the bed, heading towards the box where you kept your toys.

“Just here.” You replied with a smile, taking your time choosing what you would use to make Illumi moan. It was a rare phenomenon, but it could be done. You had heard the elusive sound a precious few times, and you were determined to hear it again. 

Choosing your apparatus, you turned to him with a wicked glint in your eye, and Illumi knew that he would be here for a while.

It had been a couple of hours before Illumi showed promise. You had broken him down enough for his quiet grunts to turn into moans, and you couldn’t deny how beautiful he both sounded and looked. His long black hair spread around him like glossy tar, his toned and lithe body twitched and flexed with each sensation that rippled through him, a light flush dusted his cheeks as he gazed at you, fathomless eyes as heavy and pulling as a black hole. 

“What more do you want?” He breathed, words hitching as your hand traced lightly over his sensitive skin. Despite being highly trained, he was only human. 

“Scream for me, Illumi.” Your touch was as soft as a whisper, lovingly caressing his pale skin. “I want you to scream.”

“How are you going to do that?” Illumi’s question was little more than curious, albeit unintentionally condescending. He sounded as though that was an impossible task.

“With this.” You brought your hand to rest against the strap-on you would use to fill his hole, knowing he was the most unabashed when being pounded. “I think it’s high time you get filled, wouldn’t you agree?”

“What’s so special about that?” Illumi had never screamed before but, then again, he had never been made to feel this good before. He also couldn’t deny the want, which was a completely new feeling for him. 

“What’s special is that,” You pointed towards the vibrator that was rapidly buzzing against his new erection. “Is staying on.”

“Oh.” He sighed, eyelids fluttering shut at your words. He was at the brink of some precipice, although he didn’t know what. This was further than you both had ever gone before, and he didn’t quite know the extent of pleasure you were subjecting him to. He had only been exposed to bodily pleasure after meeting you. 

Settling between Illumi’s legs, something caught your eye from your peripheral vision. Turning to look at the mirror, a wicked idea formed in your mind. That was perfect.

Unfastening his restraints, you tilted his chin upwards to meet your gaze. “Get on the floor and face the mirror, I want you on your hands and knees.”

Illumi moved off of the bed to comply with your command, seemingly less fluid and graceful than he usually moved. You could tell he was tempted to tear the vibrator off of him, but you knew he was feeling too good to remove it. Only a man as strong as he was could withstand such sensitive and overbearing pleasure and find it enjoyable. 

You watched as Illumi exposed himself to you, meeting your eyes through the reflection of the mirror. Oh, the sight of him almost froze you in place. With hooded eyes, a light flush on his cheeks, lips parted, and hair tumbling to the floor, you almost lost your demeanour and pounced. How had you gotten so lucky? Who else knew this side of Illumi? He was simply exquisite.

You kept his gaze as you moved to stand behind him, kept it as you dropped to your knees, hands running up the inside of his soft thighs. His muscles tremored slightly beneath your touch. Yes, he was definitely ready. Finally, after hours, Illumi would be responsive enough.

His hole was already wet and open from the prostate vibrator that had abused him for the majority of the day, and so it took very little effort as you slowly pushed into him, taking your time and savouring the look on his face as you did so. Yes, the mirror was a fantastic idea.

One you had buried yourself to the hilt, you stilled. The only sound in the room was the whir of the vibrator, and Illumi’s heavy breathing.

“Move.” He demanded, fingers curling against the wooden floor. You smirked, he was desperate.

“Why should I?” You felt wicked as you grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled, coaxing a low moan from the boy. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

You pulled him up, his back flush against your chest while your hand wrapped around his throat, giving it a slight squeeze. “You want me to fuck you nice and good?”

“Yes.”

“If you insist.” You kissed his neck before pushing him back down and letting him touch the floor again. “I am looking forward to that scream, Illumi.”

Pulling out as slowly as you pushed in, your hips snapped forward and Illumi jolted. Without giving him a moment to catch his breath, you began pounding. Having been edged for hours, Illumi almost couldn’t handle the unbearable sensation of both a vibrator and a strap-on making him feel overwhelmingly sensational. He felt as though he was on fire, his entire being was burning.

You watched carefully through the mirror, watching his face contort as he lost control of both his emotions and his reactions. Moans freely fell from his lips, and grew ever louder the closer he got to his high that he had been chasing but denied. His face looked almost pained, but you knew it was from exquisite pleasure. Illumi would never look pained if he was actually in pain. 

His eyes rarely left yours, only briefly a few times when his eyes closed on a particularly good thrust that brushed against his prostate. His voice had become strangled, almost choking on the sounds he was making. You wrapped some of his hair around your fist as you rode his ass, sincerely loving every moment of this. His expression was one you had never seen before and you felt the need to commit it to memory. 

“You’re so beautiful.” You couldn’t help but say, and his eyes flickered to yours before returning to watching himself get fucked by you. You could tell he was extraordinarily close, his voice getting louder and louder with each snap of your hips. “I will let you finish, but you know the condition.”

“I know.” He managed, crying out as he held your gaze once more. His eyes did not stray from you as he reached the high he so desperately sought, and Illumi Zoldyck came with a scream. 

If you could have a single sound memorised, it would have been that one. It was simply perfection. 

Helping him through his earth shattering orgasm, Illumi’s body trembled against yours as he slowly came back to earth. 

You pulled out and took off the vibrator, tossing them to the side to be cleaned later. Your first priority was your boyfriend who was lying on the floor, forehead pressed against the wooden panels as he caught his breath.

“You got what you wanted.” He said as you brought him into your arms, his head dropping against your shoulder. 

“It was perfect.” You stroked his hair, planting kisses against his temples as you made him look at you.  “You are perfect.”

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Daytrip.

Pairing: Yandere!Illumi x Reader (Hunter x Hunter).

Word Count: 5.6k.

TW: Fem!Reader, Non/Con, Prolonged Captivity, Mentions of Kidnapping, Mentions of Animal Death, Semi-Public Sex, Controlling Behavior, Deliberate Isolation, and Stalking.

The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was, per usual, Illumi’s face.

His dark eyes wide and unblinking, his skin bloodlessly pale, his lips pulled into a thin, neutral line – and all of it no more than three inches away. You were too numb to his off-putting proximity to scream, but you flinched back into your pillow on instinct, and Illumi took the hint, lingering for another half second longer before drawing back. A few months ago, you might’ve scrambled away, barricaded yourself in the smallest corner of your lavish bedroom, but now, you only rolled onto your side, regarding him with the same exhausted resignation that you used to pay to your cat, when she woke you up three hours early for no other reason than her own selfish desire not to spend the small hours of the morning alone.

“What’s up?”

It might’ve been a little too casual of a greeting for your kidnapper, but he didn’t seem to mind. “There are clothes waiting for you on your vanity. The butlers will help you dress as soon as possible.”

 So this was going to be an out-of-bed thing, after all. Reluctantly, you started pushing yourself up. “Are we in a hurry for a reason, or…?”

There was a brief moment of consideration, then a resolute nod from Illumi. You let out an inward sigh. “Okay, whatever, that’s my fault. Why are we in a rush, ‘lumi?”

“I have something planned for the two of us.” If you hadn’t known better, you might’ve thought you saw his expression light up. “A daytrip, I believe.” And then, as if as an afterthought, “I’m very excited.”

Illumi’s excitement was normally something you tried to avoid, but your mind seemed to glaze over that and settle on the word ‘daytrip’ instead. Daytrips meant traveling. Daytrips meant activities.

Most pressingly, daytrips meant getting to leave the empty, lifeless, murderer-infested wasteland that was his family’s estate for the first time since he carried you through its gates. You knew better than to say that in as many words, though.

“And for this daytrip, we’ll be going…” You trailed off, gesturing in the direction you felt most strongly would lead back to civilization. “…out there?”

“We’ll be leaving the mountain, yes.”

“And we’ll be going place where other people are?”

“I suppose so, if it can’t be avoided.”

“And your family wasn’t involved with this at all?”

“They don’t think it’s right for you to be given so much freedom so quickly,” he explained. “I disagree. Even well-trained dogs have to be walked.”

For the first time ever, you had to resist the urge to kiss him.

Instead, you only let yourself smile, casting your sheets aside and settling for a brief but bone-crushing hug. “Thank you thank you thank you!” You pulled away abruptly, sliding off of the mattress. “I—I’ll get dressed!”

Illumi didn’t move, didn’t react, but his eyes followed you as you stumbled across the room – happier than you’d been in months.

~

A little less than an hour later, you were spread across Illumi’s lap in the back of a surprisingly conspicuous black car, the divider raised to block a faceless driver from view. It took a concerted amount of effort to keep your attention on anything but the window, but you managed, only sparing the occasional glance towards the passing scenery.

You watched the mountainside spiral downward as Illumi’s hands settled around your waist, measuring the widening gaps between dense patches of forestry as his mouth ghosted over the side of your neck. It’d always surprised you – how tactile he was, how someone so cold could be so fond of peppering feather-light kisses into your collarbones and groping at your thighs. It’d been weeks since the last time you tried to brush off his affection. As far as you were concerned, there were worse things he could do to you than mimic the behavior of a more conventional boyfriend.

(At some point, you’d come to think of Illumi as the unclimbable, unmovable, twenty-foot-tall wall that separated you from freedom. You didn’t like him, sure, but you had to recognize that on your own, you had no chance of getting past, over, or around him. If something happened to render him a little weaker, a little less tall, a little more susceptible to opening his gates, then things might change, but you couldn’t rely on elusive possibilities. The way you saw it, you could either waste your time trying to overcome an insurmountable obstacle, or you could save your energy and try to make things as pleasant on this side of the wall as was humanly possible, given your below-standard working conditions. Until you met someone willing to offer you a ladder, at least.)

He buried his face in the crook of your neck, and your eyes flitted back to the window. You were passing buildings, now – houses and apartments, people dotted in front of them blurred mannequins. “Can you tell me where we’re going, or am I not supposed to know?”

He seemed to think for a second, but answered quickly enough. “Brunch, first,” he said, not bothering to pull away from you. “The rest is a surprise.”

You pursed your lips. You used to like surprises, but Illumi had managed to change a lot of things about you. “Is ‘the rest’ something I’ll like?”

 “It’s something you’ve been known to enjoy.”

It took everything you had not to roll your eyes. You’d been ‘known to enjoy’ a lot of things, most of which Illumi had taken away from you.

There was one more open-mouthed kiss pressed into your collarbone, one more stolen glance of the outside world, and then, the vehicle was easing to a steady halt in front of a rustic, almost quaint building. A café, you realized, as Illumi stepped out in front of you, holding the door open while you stared wide-eyed at the perfectly idyllic, perfectly normal restaurant. The cute type, with a triangular roof and a greenery-laden front porch and chipped paint on either side of the front door.

Subconsciously, some part of you must’ve decided that you’d never see anything more charming or more homey than the lifeless grounds of Illumi’s estate again. You opted not to linger on that, as you stepped out of the car.

The interior was similarly fairytale-esque. There weren’t any other customers or wait-staff, which you’d expected, but string lights hung from the rafters, fresh wildflowers sitting in pitchers on each table. Illumi let you choose where to sit, and you shot for a spot closest to the front windows – bay-style and freshly cleaned, the kind of thing you might’ve stared longingly out of while nursing an overpriced latte for the better part of an hour. Suit-clad butlers stood guard on either side of the door, but if you were lucky, you’d still be able to catch the occasional pedestrian walking by. You would’ve given anything to sit in a room filled to bursting with other people, but since you couldn’t have that, you’d settle for being able to watch a handful from a distance.

“You’re staring.”

“So?” You responded to Illumi without looking away. “You stare at me all the time.”

“That’s different. I have a reason to look at you.”

“Which is?”

“I love you.”

It might’ve been easier to believe if he hadn’t said it with all the warmth and all the affection of a corpse, already given time to cool.

You changed the topic swiftly.

“It’s a little nostalgic, honestly. I used to come to places like this all the time, especially before I made any friends in the city. It was nice to feel lonely in a aloof-and-mysterious kind of way, instead of an anti-social-and-depressed sort of way.”

“Oh, you were never really alone.” You didn’t say anything, but you made the mistake of shifting your gaze onto him, of spurring him forward with the reward of your attention. “It was a guilty pleasure of mine – spending time with you before we met. I preferred it when you sat outside. It was easier to smell your perfume, in the open air.”

You grit your teeth. It wasn’t the most disturbing thing he’d ever admitted, but it definitely made the list. “…I think I would’ve remembered sitting next to someone like you.”

If he’d been more expressive, you could’ve imagined him smirking. “You would think so, wouldn’t you?”

There was a brief lapse, a moment of uncertainty on your part. Finally, you asked, “Did I smell… nice?”

“Very.” Illumi didn’t share your sense of trepidation. “Like cinnamon.”

You hummed, and as if by magic, a waitress appeared from the door to an unseen kitchen – white knuckling her pen with one hand and driving her nails into her notepad with the other. She took your orders with a terrified sort of professionalism, and before you left, you convinced Illumi to give you all the cash he was carrying at the moment (a sum that easily added up to half a year’s worth of rent, handed over without so much as a passing question) and left it on the table for her to find.

~

Your second stop was as surprising as Illumi had promised. If anything, he’d undersold it.

If the quaintness of the café had been enough to throw you into a stupor, then the sheer scale of the building in front of you could’ve sent you to an early grave. A mall – a nice mall, either recently built or nestled so far into the upper-class shopping district that you never would’ve come across it organically, the type with glass where there should’ve been walls and a fountain without any coins at the bottom. You were tempted to try and pester loose change off of one of the butlers flanking you, but decided against it. The café, you could’ve stumbled into on your own, without Illumi’s intervention. It just didn’t feel right to leave a mark where you so obviously didn’t belong.

More similarly to the café, though, the inside of the shopping complex was startlingly empty. Butlers and hired security were posed in front of exits, but other than that, it wasn’t hard to believe that you and Illumi were the only people on the property. As soon as you were past the initial entryway, you ducked into the closest store – a high-end cosmetics retailer. The door was unlocked, but there was no cashier at the register. Like someone had already come through and cleared it out.

“This is some backrooms shit,” you mumbled to yourself, and then, to Illumi, ever-hovering just over your shoulder. “You didn’t… you know, do what you normally do to people you don’t like, right?”

“Are you asking me if I killed everyone in this shopping complex prior to our arrival?”

“Well, not everyone,” you clarified. “Maybe just the employees?”

He didn’t laugh, but the corner of his mouth turned ever-so-slightly upward, as if you’d said something funny. “No, that would’ve taken far too much time.” The unnecessary loss of life went unacknowledged. “The building’s rented out, and the stock’s been purchased in advance. You’re only deciding what you’d like to keep.”

Huh.

One day, you were going to sit him down and have a long, long talk about class privilege and resource waste. If you were feeling generous, you might even throw generational wealth onto the lecture, just to make sure he got the full picture.

One day, but not today.

“The third floor always has the best stores,” you said, turning on your heel and grabbing Illumi’s hand, too distracted to think anything of the gesture. “Let’s start there.”

You weaved in and out of stores with reckless abandon, hyper-aware that you had no one’s time to waste but your own. Essentials were overlooked entirely, makeup and self-care supplies limited to eyeshadow pallets with no less than several dozen eye bleeding colors and bath-bombs that were more glitter than pigment, and clothes made up the bulk of your adoration. Everything that wasn’t in your size had already been removed – something as worrying as it was convenient. The only thing you refused to try on was loungewear. It would’ve been practical, sure, but you didn’t need to be reminded that this was likely the last time you’d ever leave Illumi’s sprawling home.

“You know,” you called from a dressing room, pulling a gingham dress over your head. You couldn’t see Illumi, but you were sure he wasn’t far. He didn’t seem to have much of an interest in shopping, but his favorite hobby was looming over your shoulder like some blank-eyed, haphazardly domesticated bird of prey, so it balanced out. “If this had been our first date, I probably would’ve married you.

You heard him hum as a weight settled against the dressing room door. “I enjoyed our first date. It was endearing – how long you rested your head in my lap.”

“Well, yeah. The paralytics you used were so strong, I couldn’t move for three days.” You’d still lose feeling in your left arm, if you held it at the wrong angle. It reminded you a little of your cat, after she first came around to the idea of sitting in your lap. You’d been so afraid of scaring her off, you’d let your legs fall asleep before you so much as thought about moving her. “I just meant that the whole ‘kidnapping’ thing probably wouldn’t have been necessary, y’know? I wasn’t exactly in a place to be picky when it came to creepy rich men.”

There was a brief lapse of silence, and you finally managed to drag the bodice of the dress into place. “I never considered that.”

It shouldn’t have surprised you to hear that Illumi wasn’t the dating type, and yet, you let out a breath of a laugh. “You never thought about asking me out? Not even once?”

“…no, I didn’t.” If you hadn’t known better, you would’ve thought he sounded shy. “It was hard to be practical. I was distracted. You were perfect, and contained, and I thought touching you would be—” For the first time, his voice seemed to dip, to grow just a little quieter. “—vulgar. It would’ve changed you, to know I was there.”

The skirt was layered, and you bit back the urge to curse as you smoothed over the layers of cotton and lace. “I think being abducted might’ve changed me, too.”

“It was the better option. Something would’ve fallen out of place eventually, but like this, I could save you. Only your environment had to be altered.”

He made it sound like he’d sealed you behind glass, rather than underneath a mansion occupied by the world’s most dangerous killers. You’d known better than to hope he’d be able to come up with a selfless reason for your prolonged captivity, but still. Hearing that you were miserable because he needed a ballerina to decorate his music box with stung more than you would’ve liked to admit.

“…it’s unlocked. You can come in, if you want.” Immediately, you heard the dressing room door creak open, and turned your attention towards your reflection. Out of the countless you’d tried on, there was a reason you’d saved this dress for last. You used to fantasize about being able to afford something so wonderfully needless, something you wouldn’t have had to justify with things as joyless as ‘function’ and ‘practicality’. Even now, the puffiness of the sleeves and the lace detailing around the collar and the tiny, almost impossible-to-see hearts printed onto the checked pattern felt exorbitant – borderline garish. You still didn’t have any reason to wear it, any place you could’ve gone to show it off, but then again, you didn’t have much of a reason to do much of anything when you were with Illumi. You guessed, in a roundabout kind of way, that meant you got to do whatever you wanted to.

Illumi came to stand behind you, and you leaned back, kissing his cheek gingerly. “I’ll add it to the pile. Thanks for this, ‘lumi.”

His hands found their way to your hips, settling there as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “Keep it on. It suits you.”

You tried to laugh, but fell short – your smile falling into something more strained. You really shouldn’t have said anything, but you were talking before you could stop yourself, before you could think better of it. “The cinnamon,” you started, speaking against the dryness in your throat. “When I first moved to the city, the only apartment I could afford was flat above a bakery. The ventilation was awful, and the landlord was impossible to get a hold of, and everything I owned smelled like sugar and cinnamon and bread. I couldn’t touch anything sweet for months, after I moved out.”

It was all you could do to bite down on your tongue and force yourself to stop, to shut up, to remember who you were talking to. Illumi’s response was less dramatic – as instantaneous as it was muted.

“How fitting,” he said, with a chime of a laugh. “Sweet things belong in sweet places.”

…

You could only be mad at yourself, really. What else were expecting? It wasn’t like he was going to get down on his knees and apologize, for fuck’s sake.

You sighed, melting into Illumi’s chest. Of course, he welcomed you with open arms.

~

You didn’t end up keeping any other dresses. A few other articles of clothing, a couple pairs of shoes, a small fortune’s worth of little luxuries that’d help you pass the time when you were returned, kicking and screaming, to solitary confinement, but no dresses. Well, aside from the one you were wearing, of course.

It wasn’t long before Illumi started gently ushering you to the nearest exit, and already thoroughly defeated, you didn’t try to resist. You only got distracted once on your way out, and not for very long. Illumi made sure of that.

It was kiosk-type stand – the glass cabinets filled with high-end pet toys and animal-themed tchotchkes. You couldn’t stop yourself, gasping as you broke away from Illumi and darted to the first thing that caught your eye: a bright pink collar with silver spikes, adorable and cliché and so, so cute. It was clearly meant for a dog, but it could’ve fit a cat. Or, you probably would’ve tried to make it fit a cat, rather.  

Illumi appeared at your side, as always, and you started talking without looking up. “I’m sorry, I know we’re in a rush, but it just—” You paused, trying and failing to bite back a smile. “I had this cat before you took me – her name was Ghost. She used to be the neighborhood stray, but she was getting pretty old, and I think other cats were picking on her. Eventually, I just started letting her in, and after a while, she stopped leaving. She would’ve hated something like this.” You held up the collar, gesturing dismissively before forcing yourself to set it back down. “She never really liked me. Whoever took her in shouldn’t have had too much trouble winning her over, after I disappeared.”

“Ghost,” he repeated. “Was she a black cat?”

“Yeah, that’s where her name came from. I couldn’t see her at all at night, and she could knock over anything that wasn’t nailed down. It was like living with a poltergeist.”

“She’s dead.”

You felt something small and vital tear open and start to bleed. “…excuse me?”

“You two were quite close. Had she been given the time, she would’ve woken you up the night I came to get you. I didn’t want that.” It took an embarrassing amount of time for you to make the connection, to form the link, to realize why the pain in your chest was quickly becoming so unbearable. “We can get another, if you’re upset. As a couple.”

The shock was numb, if there was any shock to be had at all. “It’s fine,” you managed, eventually, and despite the strain behind your voice, Illumi didn’t argue.

Instead, he glanced towards the nearest glass wall, to where the sun was just beginning to set over the horizon. “We should go.”

“I didn’t realize we were on a schedule.”

“You weren’t supposed to. I told you earlier – the last stop is a surprise.” This time, he was the one to take your hand, squeezing gently as he laced his fingers with yours.

It might’ve been a nice gesture, if his touch hadn’t been cold enough to burn.

~

You weren’t really sure what the third and final stop was supposed to be, at first.

An old sort of a dream knotted and coiled in your chest as his driver ferried you out of the city, metropolis shuttering into mountain backwoods. You’d never really been afraid of Illumi killing you (not when there were so many things that were so, so much worse than death), but as the car eased to a stop on the side of single-lane road, it was hard to imagine why else he would’ve taken you so far from the nearest scrap of civilization, another reason for him to wear such a bright expression as he ushered you outside - the most impatient he’d been all day. It wasn’t until you saw the trailhead – unmarked save for a wooden post and break in the foliage – that you started to relax.

“Oh,” you mumbled, your relief audible. “I’m not really dressed for hiking, ‘lumi.”

“It isn’t far.” And then, taking your hand in his, “I can carry you.”

It sounded more like a matter-of-fact statement than an offer, but you shook your head, edging forward. He was right, in the end. It couldn’t have been more than half a mile of level ground, Illumi holding your hand all the while. It wasn’t like you weren’t allowed outside on Illumi’s estate, but you spent so much time in the woods that surrounded his mansion and his mother’s gardens – it would’ve been impossible not to go numb to the absence of bird song, the treacherous slope of his mountain, how little sunlight managed to break through the dense canopy of tangled branches and leaves that seemed to lie a little closer to black than green. It was nice to be somewhere else, somewhere with humming insects and a gentleness to the landscape and just enough dappled sunlight to make you forget who you were with. You kept your head on a swivel, quietly eager to soak in as much of it as you could. If you were lucky, you’d actually get to see some life – a deer, or a wildcat, or—

Something caught in your throat, and your head lulled forward, eyes dropping to your feet. You stared at the ground for the rest of the walk.

Your destination was, similarly, storybook levels of idyllic. The forest thinned and fell away entirely, breaking into a lake that stretched on as far as the eye could see and glittered pink in the light of the setting sun. Stretched over the lake’s shore was a blanket piled with platters of chocolate-covered fruit, breads and cheese, bottles of wine with a matching pair of glasses for each option – everything you might’ve once drunkenly listed off to a friend while fantasizing about your perfect, fairytale date. You glanced around you, looking for the butlers who must’ve only just finished setting up, but Illumi was quick to call your attention back to him. You felt him let go of your hand, your body shift before you could process why you were moving, and then, you were no longer on the ground; one of Illumi’s arms hooked under your knees and the other behind your back, your side pulled against his chest in an effortless bridal carry. You made a passing attempt to squirm, but Illumi didn’t seem to mind – keeping you tucked against him as he made his way to the only unoccupied corner of the blanket and all-but dropped to the ground, leaving you splayed across his lap and safely caged within his arms.  It was hard to tell if he was trying to be romantic in his own, blank, heartless sort of way, or if he’d simply decided you weren’t moving quickly enough. For your own sake, you leaned towards the former.

“It’s awful,” you muttered, and then, correcting yourself, “Not the picnic, I mean – that’s perfect. It’s just, I can never tell what you’re thinking.”

He seemed to consider that, for a moment. A chocolate-covered strawberry was plucked out of the nearest bowl and held to your lips, and to appease him, you bit into it. Your throat still felt too knotted for you to actually enjoy eating, but it was good to keep Illumi happy. “Most of the time, I think about you,” he admitted, any hint of shame absent from his voice. “It’s an issue. It doesn’t affect my work, but it’ll start to if left unchecked.”

He thought about you while cutting down innocent civilians. Great. “And you’re not going to fix that by drowning me in a lake, right?”

“No, I’m not.” Like your question, his answer was too sincere for comfort. The way his free hand toyed with the hem of your skirt did little to ease your nerves, either. “I’ve tried keeping an amount of distance between you and I, but that hasn’t yielded much progress either.”

If he’d ever tried to keep himself away from you, you hadn’t been able to tell. His hand slipped under your skirt properly, and you twisted, reaching for the neared wine bottle. “There’s so much food here, we should really—”

“It can wait.”

It was awful, just how even his voice was. For the first time, you were tempted to give him a reason to raise it.

You’d never resisted Illumi, but he’d never tried to—tried to do this, either. There’d always been an unspoken barrier when it came to sex – your resounding horror shadowed comfortable within his apparent disinterest. Now, though, he didn’t seem very disinterested, and your lingering terror was brushed neatly to the side as his fingers grazed over your thighs, your hip, before slipping underneath the thin, silken fabric. You wanted to thrash, to bolt, but you were suddenly unable to move; paralyzed save for the reflex to clench your legs shut and sink that much deeper into Illumi’s chest. The former was undone with only as much effort as it took him to ease your thighs apart with his knee, though, and the latter only seemed to bring a soft smile to his lips – just barely prominent enough to feel as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck. If you’d been in your right mind, you might’ve thought to look for his butlers, to worry about passing hikers or concerned locals he wouldn’t think not to hurt, but Illumi had done his job well. It was impossible not to consider yourself wholly and entirely alone in the world, when you were with him.

He was less clinical than you would’ve expected. Illumi did most things with surgical precision, but touching you seemed to call for a more experimental skillset. His chin came to rest on your shoulder as his long fingers spread and explored underneath your panties, the tautness of the fabric ensuring that he always moved against you, rather than over or around. Undressing you never seemed to cross his mind; instead, his attention was trained on dragging the pad of his thumb over your clit, on using his ring and middle fingers to trace the slit of your cunt. You weren’t turned on – who could be, with their stoic kidnapper fondling them like a child learning to handle their first doll? – but your body and your mind were on two different tracks, one eager to make the best of a bad situation and the other too distraught to stop it. It wasn’t long before you could feel yourself dripping around him, your arousal adding a damp heat to your already claustrophobic point of connection. Illumi hummed. “You’re sensitive.”

You opened your mouth, but anything you might’ve said was drowned out by a hitched gasp as he thrust two digits inside of you with a wet click. “Tight, too,” he muttered, almost absentmindedly, immediately falling into a pattern of pumping and scissoring; spreading you open and pulling back only to fuck his fingers that much deeper. When he paused, it was only to curl against something particularly sensitive inside of you, to leave you shrinking that much further into his chest. “Is this uncomfortable?”

The practicality of the question caught you off-guard. You couldn’t call it considerate, but it was more than you’d expected, more than you ever would’ve hoped for. Unable to speak, you nodded furiously, and Illumi clicked his tongue. “You’ll be alright,” And then, slightly softer, “It couldn’t be any worse than what I had to deal with, waiting for you.”

There was no bitterness, no remorse, no pity; just Illumi’s cold rationality and the feeling of his palm grinding into your clit. The only warmth you could feel was the ghost of his breath on the side of your throat, the dip of your shoulder – not quite panting, but a world apart from his usual absence of expression. You tried to steel yourself, to think about anything aside from Illumi’s presence where it draped across you like a funeral shroud, but it’d been months since the last time you so much as thought about touching yourself, and for all his apathy, you could feel heat pooling in your core and recognize that your attempts to stave off the inevitable were only prolonging the insufferable. Still, it would’ve been impossible not to try and choke back your whimpers as that heat brewed and solidified into something more tense, something more breakable; as Illumi’s cheek pressed into the curve of your neck and his fingers curled against something soft and unprotected inside of you. Your climax was drawn out of you slowly, painfully, with a ragged whine in place of a moan. You kept your face buried in Illumi’s chest, your hands balled around the bodice of your dress. It felt like an eternity passed before it was over, before Illumi’s hand drew back, but no relief accompanied the distance.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to hate Illumi for it, not really. You couldn’t bring yourself to feel much of anything. The only thing you could think, as hard as you tried not to think at all, was that you missed your dead cat.

It was pathetic, honestly. A sob tore past your lips as he pulled you away from his chest and lowered you onto your back, tears burning twin tracks down your face. You couldn’t remember the last time he’d made you cry, and this shouldn’t have been your tipping point – not Ghost, not your awful shoebox apartment, not the fact that you could hear fabric tearing as he pulled your dress apart, too impatient to so much as consider a less destructive solution. You were in hysterics by the time he glanced up, the faintest possible frown coaxing the corners of his lips downward. “You’re crying.” And then, when your only response was another jagged cry, “Why?”

You opened your mouth, but only managed to force out another incoherent sob. Illumi softened, leaning over you, his dark hair forming a curtain that seemed to replace the rest of the world with unending void. Eventually, you managed to scrap up the only thing you could, even if it wasn’t what you really meant. “I—I want to go home, Illumi.”

He cocked his head to the side, staring down at you with a sort of blank focus. A moment passed, then another, before his expression brightened. “Oh.”

He leaned down, and you felt his lips brush over your forehead. His smile bit into your skin like a blade.

“We will, love.” He pulled back. You heard fabric shift, felt something hot and terrible slot against your cunt. “Just not yet.”

 You moved to respond, but gave up quickly. His mouth crashed into yours as he thrust into you and your blood ran cold.

~

Later on, in the dark, things became bearable again. Illumi was cruel, psychotic, delusional, but he was dutiful, too, and with the most beautiful dress you’d ever seen reduced to scraps, he wrapped you in his jacket and gathered you in his arms. The picnic was untouched, the breath-taking view painted over by night. None of it mattered, of course. You were too exhausted to keep your eyes open, and a bottomless pit occupied the space your stomach used to. You wouldn’t mind going the rest of your life without taking anything of the filthy, unfeeling outside world inside of you ever again, but you knew better than to swear off eating because of Illumi. Or, at least, you hoped you’d know better in the morning.

You were only half-conscious of him pulling you against his chest and starting back into the forest, following the same path you had an eternity ago. It was a stupid question, but you found yourself asking anyway, your voice low and hoarse. “Are we… Are we going somewhere?”

“Of course.” Illumi bowed his head, kissing the top of yours. “We’re going home.”

He didn’t know he was lying, but he was. He might’ve been, but you weren’t.

Slowly and with no small amount of effort, you managed to nod, slumping against his chest. No sooner had you went slack in his arms than the final tether to consciousness thinned and fell away, leaving you to be consumed by the darkness.

[animeyanderelover]

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional thoughts, clinginess, stalking, manipulation, male reader

Tags: @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @cynniical @shenryu-sama

Zoldyck family with Gojo-like older twin of Illumi

Zeno Zoldyck

🐲​You'd think that as one of the oldest members of the Zoldyck family, Zeno would act his role as the strict grandfather and drill into you every lesson you need to know as the future head of the family. Instead he has taken the complete opposite role and has settled into being the chill granddad for it is his son's role to lecture you in everything you need to know, not his. Most of the time he spends with you is more comparable to him just hanging out with you, unless he notices that you are slacking off in which case he will show you why despite his age he is still a feared assassin in the world. There are constant jokes thrown back and forth between you two as both of you try to see who can deliver verbally the bigger blow whilst both of you take it without a single grain of salt. Even during missions both of you have together, you tend to see who has the better one-liners all whilst being completely indifferent to the screaming and terrified targets. Silva has voiced his disdain as he thinks that Zeno is being too soft yet Zeno has always stood up. He's a proud grandfather so just let him do what he wants to do with his favorite grandchild. After all your very first word ever was "grandpa", how could he not love you?

Silva Zoldyck

🐺​For all the respect he holds for his own father, the old man is giving him a headache with the way he treats you, his heir. Silva claims most of your time, either training you or teaching you everything you need to know as the next head of the clan. You are his entire pride and he has high expectations for you which he is confident you will live up to. There is especially much time poured into helping you honing your special Nen-abilities of the Infinity and your Six Eyes, skills which he is proud that you have gotten as it only further solidifies you as one of the strongest members of the family. He's aware of the fact that you favor your grandfather though and he knows that Zeno often sneaks away with you because he wants to spend time with you and the GIF I've used is probably the exact same expression he gives the two of you when he catches you. Is he perhaps a tad bit jealous that you favor your grandfather over your own dad? Perhaps, he is rather possessive after all but he would never admit that though his suffocating aura is already indicator enough of his feelings. He's most likely never gotten fully over it that your first word wasn't "dada" and Zeno has never let him forget it either.

Kikyo Zoldyck

🔺​Kikyo has a terrible streak of jealousy and that isn't made better by the fact that Silva and Zeno steal so much of your time for themselves. As a result she is all the more smothering and clingy the moment you are by yourself as she seems to wait for you to be alone like a starved predator and pounces on you the moment neither of the two men are around. This woman is always complimenting you for everything. For your talents, your strength, your caring personality, your looks and whatever else you can think of. There is a tinge of bittersweet melancholy though as she sometimes mourns the time where you were chubby and small and came always stumbling towards her with a happy look on your face. Her little bird has left the nest far too quickly and has grown so independent.... Your kind and caring personality can be easily a trigger of her jealousy though whenever you pay attention to one of your siblings or can't spend time with her since you have promised someone else already that you'd be with them. She always makes a huge clamour whenever the topic of potential partners is involved as no one in her eyes could be worthy of her beautiful baby boy.

Illumi Zoldyck

🤎​For as long as Illumi can remember, you two have always been together. You complete him, he completes you. After all both of you have been sharing the same womb, have shared everything since the very moment the two of you were conceived. It is this mindset that has always pushed Illumi to be surprisingly clingy, your silent shadow that has been trailing behind you ever since the two of you could crawl. From all of his siblings he has always thought that he deserves you the most, perhaps even more than the entirety of the Zoldyck family as the both of you share a special connection as twins. He's casually thrown needles into people's heads when they so much as dared to question whether the two of you are really twins as your appearances are like night and day, silently enraged whenever someone would do as much as doubt just how close the two of you are. He's the one seeking you out even quicker than Kikyo when neither Silva nor Zeno are in sight and likes to whisk you somewhere where he can have the time with you he thinks he deserves more than anyone else. He's tried to scare some of his other siblings away whenever he thought that they were stealing you away from him.

Milluki Zoldyck

💻​Going back to Illumi bullying his siblings whenever they also try to get your time, poor Milluki is the one who gets the most of it, though Milluki has used this fact often to play the victim card to try to coax you into spending more time with him. Activities with Milluki contain munching on snacks whilst playing some video games or watching some Anime and with passing years this guy has installed an entire security system to make sure that no one disturbs him when he has you, his older brother with him in the room. The ony time where he has gotten too scared and let someone in his room is when either Zeno or Silva knock on his door as he knows fully well that they'll break it if he doesn't open it within 3 seconds. Whenever he has managed to make you promise to spend an evening with you, he buys tons of your favorite snacks and prepares your favorite movies, games and series so that everything is to your liking and so that he can hopefully become your favorite sibling. He's even made a phone specifically for you and gifted it to you on your birthday. There are a lot of special apps and features included on the phone, one of them being a very secretive tracker which allows him to always know your location.

Killua Zoldyck

🪀​Killua has been clinging to you since he was a toddler and that hasn't changed much over the years. Seemingly adapting to the strategies of Zeno, Killua is always sneaky when he seeks you out and beckons you to follow him and spend time with him. He's probably one of the few who is willing to share his time with you together with some of his other siblings which is pretty much only Alluka. You've always indulged him though, knowing that there was a certain pressure on him due to his white hair and blue eyes as well. Killua has taken some pride in his appearance though, mainly because people not associated with his family always instantly acknowledged him as your younger brother whilst such recognition wasn't as granted with people like Illumi or Milluki which causes him to act somewhat smug in such given situations. Both of you have a sweet tooth and whenever one of you is on a mission, it has become a sacred ritual that the person buys something sweet before heading home again to share it with the other. The poor boy was heartbroken when you couldn't come with him when he took his Hunter Exam, though you strongly spoke up for him when people like Kikyo were hesitant to let him go.

Alluka Zoldyck

💝​Whereas almost the entire rest of the family has always shunned Alluka, Killua and you were the only ones willingly spending time with her and playing with her. As a result Alluka as well as Nanika genuinely view the two of you as the only people both of them need and really love and Nanika especially grants the both of you free wishes. Okay, maybe not always free. At times there are demands for you such as wanting a piggyback from you, wanting a kiss on the cheek or wanting to be lifted up and spun around by you. Whenever you hear such words coming out of Alluka's mouth you instantly know that both of them want your affection and attention in that moment and you have never been able to deny them their requests, even if you have never used the wishes you were granted in return for something sinister. The room Alluka is kept in is filled with plushies and prettily designed because you demanded it to be that way and whenever Alluka or Nanika want the walls to be painted a different colour or desire a new plushie, you always take it upon yourself to fulfill them their wish and Killua gives you a helping hand for the majority of the time.

Kalluto Zoldyck

🏮​Kallluto has arguably got the worst luck as he is the youngest member of the family and often is brushed over by all of his other siblings who deem that he should wait for his turn. The poor boy is a professional stalker even from a young age as he has spend countless hours watching other members of the family having fun with you all whilst he is deprived of it. He plays the even bigger victim card than Milluki for such reasons in the very moment you call out to him and spend time with him. Whenever you two walk around, he either clings to the sleeves of your clothes or even manages to hold your hand, his head constantly tilted so that he can look at you with sparkling eyes. The insecurities he sometimes feels as a result of being somewhat overlooked as the entire household revolves around you is something he learns to use effectively as an advantage when he wants to steal your attention away from someone else because he knows you'll crouch down and ask him if everything is alright the moment he starts fidgeting around with his fingers and makes himself small. As you are the person he idolises and looks up to, he ends up adapting your likes and dislikes all to feel closer to you.

[milkbobatyun]

for you, i'd do it all over again

pairing: illumi x reader

genre: angstober, events

summary: you loved illumi, to the extent that you would destroy yourself, work yourself to the bone, with the silver of hope that he would look at you with love in his gaze, but does he ever?

word count: 904

a/n: finally wrote an illumi fic for you @nfekwefdskldm, some creds to you, (¬_¬") *big sigh from me* "miss skibidi rizzler @nfekwefdskldm" for giving me inspo for the last part (smw save me i was held at gun point to say this)

his nen was overpowering, stifling the breaths lingering in your chest. blood ran down your forehead, the scarlet liquid of life streaming from the shallow cuts all around your body.

illumi’s tall figure loomed over your crumpled body, his gaze cold and unfeeling.

“you’re weak.” his emotionless voice echoed around the chamber, the light catching and reflecting off of his golden shiny needles, peeking from his fingers.

“get up.” he ordered, voice sharp and unyielding, as though failure to comply was not an option.

your limbs felt like lead, weighing you down as your muscles screamed in protest. the love, no, the fear you had of him gnawed at your insides, threatening to crush your resolve.

despite the pain, you placed your shaking hands onto the ground, pushing against the cold stone floors of the training room. you were fighting to stay awake. after all, no ordinary person could fight for 36 hours straight, without sleep.

slowly and painfully, you forced yourself to your feet, fire smoldering behind your eyes, defiant and ready.

“good,” he murmured, face unchanging. this wasn’t praise. it was merely a comment, an expectation. it was a requirement that you finished this intensive training before you went onto your mission.

and so, you stood, shaky but upright, facing the twisted monster before you, the one that your heart held true to, knowing that he only saw you as a puppet on a string, not his lover.

the mission had been long and intense, you stalked your prey day and night, sleepless, driving by the hope of going home to illumi. you imagined him, waiting in the foyer of the mansion, despite the ungodly hour of night, impatiently hoping for you to get home, so he could wrap you in a warm, comforting hug.

the poison surged through your veins, a biting pain that kept you awake as you trudged up the mountainous path. you clung to the miniscule shard of hope, that he would be waiting for you. something, anything to make this suffering worthwhile. you had sacrificed many things to be with illumi. your friendships, your family, your self-esteem. all of it, now lost because of your selfish love for this man.

with aching arms, you pushed open the heavy gates, panting for breath. your vision was swimming and you felt nauseous, but you pushed on. home was only a few paces away.

a flash of white hair appeared from the corner of your eye. killua had come to greet you.

“you look terrible,” he commented, nose scrunched in disgust, though his eyes reflected pity. “honestly, i dont see what you see in my brother.” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “you’re better off with someone else.”

you forced a wry smile. the heart, you thought bitterly, is a foolish thing.

with a resounding creak, you swung the weighted doors of the mansion open, eyes squinting in the dimly light hallway. shadows danced across the walls, the flames of the candles their dance partner. your vision swam, sweat pouring down your forehead, the floor spinning under your feet.

“you’re home.” illumi’s voice rang out from the shadows. “report on your mission.”

you felt his cold, calculating eyes scan over you. a pause filling the air. you waited for something more—a hint of concern, a tinge of worry in his tone.

“never mind,” he dismissed, voice devoid of emotion as always, though you could detect a faint hint of impatience. not a hint of worry or pity. “come find me when you have cleaned up.”

with a flick of his long ebony hair over his shoulders, illumi turned on his heel, footsteps echoing down the hallway as he departed, leaving you alone in the vast foyer.

heaving a sigh, you slumped onto the floor, clutching your stomach as you fought back the urge to throw up onto the carpet. the poison multiplied the pounding headache ten-fold, as you collapsed into yourself, but worse still was the ache in your heart—the slow, consuming burn of disappointment, sadness, rejection that not even sleep and rest could fix.

you could work yourself to the bone, bleed yourself dry, rip your heart out and present it to him on a silver platter, but nothing—nothing—could make him turn and look at you with a shred of love in his soulless eyes.

you used to find solace in the quiet moments with illumi, but now they suffocated you, tainted by the thought of him. he draws you like a moth to a flame, companionship morphing into ugly manipulation, eating away at your sanity.

you see his presence everywhere—the flickering lights, the air that thickens around you. each encounter tightens the noose around your neck, your laughter turning hollow, joy a distant memory.

days blur into nights, sleep slipping through your fingers like sand. and yet, you find yourself in his room, conversing with the devil who kept you awake, every revelation another thread unravelled, each response from illumi twisting your words, feeding on your vulnerabilities.

you’ve lost sight of who you are, now merely a dried out husk. the noose is tightening, choking you with illumi’s influence, whispering your name, sending chills down your back.

you find yourself losing, fading, in this dance of control, voluntarily following illumi as he manipulated you, trapped in a nightmare disguised as a dream, as illumi watched your life slip away, numbness enveloping you in its cold embrace.

taglist (open): @yeonjunsfox, @nfekwefdskldm

∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳)  © curated with love by milkbobayun 2024 / づ ♡

[mayxo-hxh]

As autistic coded as Illumi is, he is also EXTREMELY Bpd coded. Here's a thread abt why that would be, from a person with bpd. 🧵

Everything about his character screams a person that feels so so much but forcefully tones his feelings down so hard to the point where they seem nonexistent.

On the exterior he seems like he couldn't care less about most things and is a very calm and controlled person. However, his emotions shine the brightest when the topic of interest is a person he cares about.

This is ESPECIALLY shown in the election arc where he reveals much of his emotions to the audience. He gets two whole bloodlust scenes this arc.

One with extreme anger

and one with extreme joy.

When Hisoka provoked him, it took absolutely zero transition for him to immediately spike his bloodlust and aura to GREAT amounts to the point of engulfing the entire MOUNTAIN and reaching Killua from SO far away.

And in the same exact second it happened, it ended just as quickly the moment he noticed Killua running away. That is a CLASSIC negative mood swing example if I've ever seen one. One extreme emotion in one second, gone in the other.

On the other hand, his second bloodlust had a small transition, one that still did not give you the expectation of what truly came after.

He is seen watching Killua on his phone and the moment Nanika healed gon, showing Killua can use her on command with no consequences and also showing her immense power, he was absolutely overjoyed. So much in fact that he exploded in maniac laughter and aura a second after merely giving it a small laugh.

We get a hint at his bloodlust incoming in that moment, but NEVER predict just how MUCH would actually come out. Classic euphoric mood swing number two.

When he encountera Killua with Hisoka in the background at the end, he is pretty much shown going through the five stages of grief in mere minutes the moment his own butlers turn on him and allow Nanika to come out.

denial, anger, depression...

bargaining.......

and finally, acceptance. acceptance that he was going to be traded by killua not only for a friend, but for the rest of the family's lives.

He was so very clearly unhappy about it at the beginning, yet came to acceptance in mere seconds the moment nanika came out. He bargained with himself, Killua shouldnt be able to wish twice, then accepted. even if he could, thats okay. go ahead, kill me!

and then theres also the way he just switches from a very :DDD to >:| mood in like one panel short hello he is so coded

Even more; Usually bpd is either caused through trauma or inherited. and you can definitely argue that illumi went through enough "training" for the former but. is his behavior not. familiar to yall. not at all???? im just saying......... I know someone else in the zoldyck family that has intense mood swings!

if there is one person in the family that shows their unfiltered emotions and switches from being calm to screaming in distress in a single second, its going to be this woman. she gave birth to a son thats a literal copy of her. she ctrl c'd and ctrl v'd.

and i dont exactly know what this next one has to do with the thread but why was bro normal for one second then turned into this i mean im not complaining hes still hot and ill claim him as my bpd son regardless

anyways yes this was the thread have fun with this interpretation slash analysis however u like 👍

[ostentatiouslyonigiri]

Illumi Zoldyck prompt # 41

“Why’re you crying? Aren’t you happy to be with me?”

Clad in your usual attire of washed out bluejeans, worn out sneakers, and an oversized sweater just begging to be put out of its misery, the weather was a bit humid and the sky was overcast. The stickiness of the air clung to your skin like a child would to its mother and served to only support your bed and cover's plea for you to return, and once again, bask in its embrace—but today was special. Your fiancé, Jaren, had just finished his medical thesis on the ethics of healthcare and was going to present it to the campus' esteemed doctors, who would occasionally come to scout out new talent.Jaren wasn't dumb, he was actually quite brilliant; though his predisposition to overanalyze, and thus slow his progress on a project, created the impression of incompetency. In a school as expensive and competitive as his, even the notion of ineptitude was enough to ruin careers and social standings before they even began. Despite his faults, you still loved him all the same. Even if he wasn't the richest or most handsome guy, even if he couldn't provide for you both as much as you would have liked, and even if he was somewhat forgetful of certain dates, you were happy all the same. He was going to ace this, and when he did, he'll come home to a delicious meal!

As you made your way to the store with the money you managed to scrape by, you hummed to yourself a song that refused to leave. You stopped. Your head shifted around and the rhythmic pitter patter of your shoes hitting the pavement came to a halt. Something in the air felt off. The normally populated market center was now a ghost town and you don't like it. Making a mental note not to idle too much, you pushed the uneasy feeling deep into your mind and continued on.

What you saw as you entered the store was something no person should ever see: Slumped against the wall, face contorted in a silent scream, was the body-no corpse- of a man. Where his eyes should be, were needles; multiples of them all crammed into the sockets of the man as his hands were held against the wall with more of said needles. Stumbling back one step, two steps, then four, you grabbed your phone and called the police. Hours later, the once idle shopping center became rife with crowds of people and police; all trying to get their fill of the incident to either report to online sources or simply to curb their morbid curiosity. Police, soon after establishing the crime scene, ushered out what was left of said crowd and continued with their administrations. Of course, after questioning, you too joined those escorted out of the store...But as you left with the crowd, you felt the piercing stare of an unnerving and unappreciated presence. Your movements slowed and time seemed to yield, as if acknowledging as well the unsettling

cautiousness of the situation. Shifting from person to person, your brain searched desperately to pin the disquieting feeling being forced onto you as your eyes scanned the crowd.

Black hair; traces of long,silky,locks added with the impassive,yet obsessive, stare of the pale spectre only served to further disturb you. Observing the stranger, you couldn't help but to notice the odd beauty he possessed. His face was perfectly sculpted and was reminiscent to that of a porcelain doll, and his large coal black eyes- though creepy- only added to his hauntingly good looks.How long had you been staring at him? Bringing your mind back to the present, you quickly oriented yourself with the crowd of people and like that, the stranger was gone. 'How curious…', you thought to yourself.

It had all happened so fast; the days that later turned into months following your meeting with the beautiful stranger yielded some interesting results. For one, the rent that seemed to only continue being pushed back with the hope of being satisfied when things got better, were suddenly paid for.That annoying neighbor that insisted that we were too loud, suddenly found us to be less annoying and became sparse. You even mysteriously found that particular brand of perfume you've always wanted was right at your doorstep, ready to be used.As these kind gestures from the universe seemed to throw itself at you,your fiancé you joked about the source of it all. Maybe a fellow student at his university was silently acknowledging his hard work and contributions to his study, or maybe, you joked, it was a ghostly secret admirer showing his appreciation through great generosity. You found the idea funny, as someone as average as you would never gain such attention like that. Even though you found the idea amusing, your darling certainly didn't.He believed that this was dangerous and would come to bite them later. In all of these suggestions, never once did you assume that it could be the doing of the beautiful man you saw all those months ago. As the presents grew, so too did a lingering presence similar to the beautiful stranger's, follow suit. Could it be him? Whatever this was, it was a somewhat welcome extra help; well at least, it was, anyway.

While Lady Luck seemed to be smiling down on you in particular, she did not grant Jaren the same courtesy. On one occasion, Jaren found that his keys and other items were missing. Perhaps he misplaced them? You remember that night he had a seminar to attend and taking the bus was not viable. You tried your best to calm him down; you assured him that they would appear eventually, and that he could use what little money you got from your measly cashier job to send him on his way with a taxi.When he came home, he had stabbed his foot on a needle. On another occasion, the thesis paper he had painstakingly written and rewritten, to perfection, had been deleted right before a big presentation.You didn't know how it happened, as it had multiple backups, but this did not bode well for him,his reputation, or the grant money that you both came to rely on to make ends meet. Slowly, but surely, this situation became less and less amusing, and more and more stressful on your relationship. As the days dragged on and as the gifts increased, disaster struck.It's funny really how easily things came apart once he received a letter of expulsion for his supposed plagiarization of other more reputable studies. It was swift and brutal.

Suddenly, you went from living as comfortably as you and your love possibly could in your humble apartment, to relying on this secret admirer's kindly donations to keep you from being homeless. Though you tried to stay positive for the both of you, it was not enough. "I've had it with this stalker! My life is ruined, (Y/n)". Through gentle touches and caressing affection, you tried to assure him that perhaps this was all just a mistake on the school's part, and that all would get better; that was a bad move. " Don't you get it? It's done! I will never become a surgeon-I'll never be able to support you. Support us. What kind of man am I, that even this creep can be a better provider for you than me ?", He exclaimed. As he sat on the floor and sobbed into your arms, you felt the many hands and claws of agony grab onto your heart and pull. The intense gaze that seemed to surround you at almost every given day only intensified as the man in your arms gradually broke down. Was it enjoying it? It had to be, because if he even seemed to be doing well in the slightest, it's aura changed to a sickly one. As you came home from a particularly long day of work, Jaren was nowhere to be seen. At first, you believed that maybe he went to go blow off some steam with some of the few schoolmates that stayed by his side, but when you called them, they hadn't even seen him since the day he was expelled. You tried calling his mom; no response. It was as if he had disappeared off the face of the Earth.

This was all so long ago. As Mother Nature looked down upon the night sky and decorated it with flashes of light and sounds of thunder. The rain hitting the window with little thumps against the glass only served to ground you to your unpleasant reality. Today was the day you would give yourself to your secret admirer; or as you've now come to know him as Illumi. You knew that at some point in your newly established marriage that this would be an inevitability, but funnily time had a way of sneaking up on you while simultaneously giving the illusion of having plenty of it.

There you stood in the mirror, clad with the expensive lingerie that your dear husband's mother had ever so lovingly picked out for you. It hugged your curves with an embrace that could only be rivaled by him. It was a shame that said person had to be the one to see it and not your beloved from so long ago…

"You've been taking a long time". You jumped at the sudden introduction of Illumi. He often did this, wholey unconcerned about how awkward it made interactions with him become, or how you would wince when he went to touch you. This was way different then how Jaren would approach you. "I thought I told you to wait on the bed until I get back...Did I not make myself clear?". Just like every interaction with Illumi, this was rhetorical; an order that was phrased as something open to response on your part, but was merely his way of pushing you to bend to his desires. Not wanting to add to the scars from punishments given to you when you did not heed the danger in his voice, you affected a smile, and confirmed that he indeed stated that. He never was one to accept excuses.

Seeing the discomfort in the way you shyly shifted away from him as he snaked his arms around your waist, his normally impassive face shifting into a frown.

"( Y/n), do I not do a good job providing for you?". As you struggled to beat down the lump in your throat, Illumi's slender hands cupped your breasts, giving special attention to your nipples. Tensing ever so slightly, you prepared for another generic answer, but before you could, he spoke again: "Tell me, when you were with that good for nothing, did my gifts not satisfy you when he couldn't?".Tears pricked the sides of your eyes as you willed yourself to hold your tongue. Yet again, right when you were preparing to give yet another generic answer, his hand slid down from your breast and gently began rubbing circles around your now budding nub. His long silky hair and cool breath tickled your neck. You didn't want to admit it, but sometimes the gentleness of his touch was enough to make you want to give in to him, even if he was clearly in the wrong.

Though you didn't give a verbal answer, he seemed satisfied with the answer your body gave. Taking your silence as permission, he caged your body in his and led you to the bed. It was at this moment that the tears you had been holding back broke, and you found yourself to be only a mess of sobs and gasps. Towering above you as his hair became walls of ink , blocking out any and everything except his impassive gaze, he stood there as uncaring as ever and watched you unravel before him. Somewhat visibly annoyed, he wipes the tears falling down the sides of your face in a facsimile of fondness. " Why are you crying? Aren't you happy to be with me?".

Just as you'd done before, you gave in and did as he wanted. You gave him another set of words that would satisfy his need for control; "Yes, of course I'm happy to be with you".

After all, he was your husband and you were his cute, obedient, little wife.

[rotten-pomegranate]

Day twenty three : punishment with yandere illumi

Tags: @aliceattheart @my-eyelash-flew-off

Warnings: whipping, punching, hair pulling, blowjob, no prep

/|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\

This was hell, your sure off it, not only can you not see you could barley catch your breath in between lashings

All you did was look out the window in what illumi described as to longingly

You hear a sound and can only assume it’s him tossing the whip down in favour of something else

His normally silent footsteps get closer, he must be doing it on purpose

“I’m going to punch you twice in the stomach and I’m expecting you to count”

“W-wait- illumi please n-“ he cuts you off with a sharp blow right in the center of your abdomen that has you doubling over as much as your restraints allow

Your still trying to curl in on yourself when he speaks again “well, count”

“Ahh, one” at least he’s not making you start over

“Good, one more” this one comes quicker you couldn’t get a word out before your poor belly takes another hit

You scream louder this time and your head goes down, you where gonna pass out, it wouldn’t be the first time

“T-two” it comes out straggled and pained, you don’t even recognize your own voice anymore

He doesn’t say anything simply unhooks the chains holding you up and stands over you while you fall, he makes no attempt to catch you

“Ahh” you crumple into a ball the second your limbs hit the cold cement floor

His hands go to the back of your head to remove the blindfold “follow me” he tossed it somewhere in the room, somewhere you don’t have the energy to care about

He’s going to fast, it was hard to get up after being punched twice by a trained assassin but if you wanted to avoid more pain you’d have to

Bringing yourself to your feet while still clutching your stomach you walk forward with him

He’s walking towards his bedroom, he kept you in your own room when you slept unless he wanted something he’d only allow you to give him, sex

“I-illumi I-“ he cuts you off “if what your saying is a protest don’t waste you breath” you mouth closes immediately

“I’m sorry” it comes out quiet, your almost at the room “not yet, but you will be”

Your eyes dart up, his hair swaying while he walks is all your met with

He stops abruptly to open the door and you almost walk into him, you weren’t far behind

Your anxiety is rising slowly, sex with him is almost always unpleasant, he didn’t ever focus on you, only what he wanted

It’s bound to be worse now that he wasn’t only ignoring your pleasure but actively avoiding it

He opens the door and grabs your wrist to yank you in “ahh” he doesn’t give you time to speak before he’s pulling you across the room and pushing you on the bed

You don’t try and crawl away, it would just upset him

His hands go to your waist to give a hard squeeze

it hurts so bad but you dare don’t move or show any signs of pain

“Spread your legs” all your instincts tell you to close them tighter, you force yourself to open them, wide, just enough for him to fit was never good enough

He stairs at you for a moment and then strips himself of his cloths

His semi hard cock slips out of his underwear and he starts rubbing the tip up and down you pussy while pumping it at the same time

He doesn’t wait for you to be wet before he tries forcing it in, his tip was leaking when he rubbed it over you but it didn’t help much, he was to big and the sting from just his tip hurt to much

He pulls out and reaches over to pull you up by your hair while he kneels on the bed

“Suck” he has you right in front of his erect dick and he’s not waiting for you to lean in before he’s shoving it passed your lips

It nudges against the back of your throat and sets off your gag reflex but he holds you down

“The wetter you make it the less painful it will be for you”

Didn’t he know that it’ll be excruciating for you regardless

Getting pinned down by a man that forced you to marry him and act like you loved him, a man the hurts you when you do something he doesn’t like

It’s gonna hurt even if the pain isn’t physical but he was right, it did make it easier to bare when you had lubricant helping you

You run your tongue along the under side of his cock and your met with twitching before he pulls you off again and shoves you back down on your back

He lines up again and this time pushes in all the way on the first go, the sting far out ways any pleasure but your not surprised that’s what he was going for

“Ahh” he reaches his hand up to hold your mouth shut and your left to heavily breath out of your nose

His cock dragging along your semi wet walls hurt, it felt like your where gonna tear

He was truly evil, hurting you in the most intimate way possible just because you wanted to imagine you where in the garden instead of locked up

Maybe someday he’ll die while on a mission and you’ll be set free, assuming that his family will let you go and not just kill you or worse give you to his younger brother

Yes, maybe someday you’ll be free.

[rosazoldyckk]

-Yandere Illumi Zoldyck X Reader-

⚠️warning⚠️ mentions of kidnapping, obsessive behaviour and loss of limbs near the end.

Fandom: Hunter X Hunter. Characters: Illumi Zoldyck

A/N: I’m sorry for any grammar mistakes, I didn’t have any time to proofread any of this. But I hope it is good and worth the read anyways♡︎♡︎♡︎

1539 words

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Only when you finally ran out of adrenaline did you notice the freezing cold of the night against your skin. For the longest time, you hadn't felt even a soft breeze ruffling through your now scruffy hair. But now, paired with the sound of leaves rustling in the midnight wind, you were engulfed by all these normal-strange sensations you had missed out on for so long.

Even though your feet hurt from all the running, and your lungs couldn't get enough of the air all around you, you felt so alive and happy, you were barely able to contain yourself from screaming in joy. Leaning against the brick wall, you decided to take a small rest in the alleyway, having come far already. How long have you been running for? Probably a bit more than hour, straight down a mountain and left and right and uphill and behind buildings. You'd have put rabbits to shame with how you sidestepped just to escape.

But…what now?

Many would call you sick in the head. That you'd run from a man that loved you so much wouldn't be taken positively by any thick-headed person around you. You couldn't go home, or to your parents, after all, if you were him, that's where you'd look first. Police? But what would you tell them? That you were kidnapped locked away for months by some psychopathic assassin? Illumi had told you more than once that it was utterly pointless to go anywhere - especially without him - after all, he made sure that no one would believe the terrible things you wanted to tell them. Everyone was under the assumption you were doing splendidly with your new boyfriend - a crazy assassin boyfriend who you didn't even know existed.

You had been seen with the assasin so many times around York new city that people liked to assume that what you had was a somewhat normal ‘Zoldyck’ relationship. They didn't know that he kept forcing himself into your personal space, that you didn't want to go anywhere with him anymore after he monopolized and clung to you for the better part of weeks. Eventually doing so much as to brutally murder anyone who even looked in your Direction, using the excuse that they were going to kill you and that you simply weren’t safe without him. Everybody knew that he was a Zoldyck and most definitely a man who lived up to his name, so there was very little that anyone could do to help. One could assume that after all he's done in the past and went through with all the Zoldyck training, his brain took a big hit, his arrogance and confidence only feeding into his egotistical views. But that he'd kidnap the person he claimed to adore, kept them holed up, and did things you didn't want to think about anymore that's not something anyone would accept easily.

In fact, if you two were ever again confronted with each other, he might blame you for giving him all these surreal emotions that made him lust for you so dearly! No... You decided then and there that you didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. You just wanted to go somewhere he couldn't find you. Somewhere you'd be safe and could start over without drawing any attention. Calm and peaceful, but most importantly, alone and safe.

At least, that was the plan, but biting the tip of your thumb, you realized you were still stuck in the middle of the city, with no money, no phone, and nowhere to go for help or safety. Perhaps if you visited the bank and asked for money from your account personally, they'd be able to provide you with some, but it was already late, and you doubted there was any bank near you that had a late-night clerk waiting for customers. You didn't like to settle somewhere outside for the night. You wanted to be gone as fast as possible, but what were you supposed to do? Clothed in just an oversized shirt and short shorts, you sunk to your bottom, pulling in your legs. At least, hidden behind some dumpsters in between buildings, no one would find you, simply assuming that you were a sleeping beggar.

This was still far more nicer than being with him.

Nicer than sleeping in his suffocating hold while he whispered his seemingly endless confession in your ear, your body bruised and fragile from his deathly touches.

Sleeping in some dirty alleyway was paradise compared to it.

🝮🝮🝮

"Ah, look at you," Illumi hummed as he stepped into the alleyway. Even though you had been dozing, immediately, your eyes snapped wide open, and you took on the stance of someone about to jump up and run again. However, your eyes could only fixate on his legs, standing right in front of you and blocking your way out. Even if you thought it was safest to hide, you didn't calculate the risk of getting found. "Oh dear, you must be freezing."

There was mockery in his kind words, but illumi was quick to strip off his Jacket and squat down, laying the fabric around your shoulder. Everything about him - the beady co eyes, the smell of his cologne, the rough tug he made as he adjusted the jacket over your shivering shoulders - made you want to vomit. Pictures of things he had done and things he was able to do to you popped into your mind while you sat there utterly frozen, trying desperately to come up with an escape plan.

"H-how did you...?" you mumbled, questioning yourself more than her. "What kind of a husband would I be if I could even find you? I missed you. Were you scared I wouldn't come?"

No, you were scared all along that he'd find you.

"B-but why?" you whispered, shoulders slumping. Illumi's lips curled into a pitying smile, one he probably imagined signaled empathy the best. But really, was there even a spark of humanity in this man that would let him feel these kinds of emotions? You doubted it more than anyone in the world. Hands falling from your shoulders to your hips and dragging forward over your thighs to your knees, Illumi took a deep breath, taking in every inch of you appreciatively. Like fine art, a rare sight to see, that's how you must have looked in his eyes.

"I told you I missed you, so I came–"

"No, why are you doing this. Why me? What do you want from me?"

Your voice sounded exhausted more than anything now. Now that you realized illumi had won, you were tired. There was something animalistic in the way he touched you. Possessive, victorious. He was the white lion prowling in a habitat that didn't fit him, and yet, he benefitted from it. However he did it, you knew he wasn't just passing by and found you. If you didn't know it better, you'd say he always knew where you went all along, every second of your escape. But it was inexplicable how, when, and why he knew, and it frightened you even more that he was so much more aware of everything going on around you than you were.

Illumi smiled, hesitating to answer while he thought hard about what to say. "You. I always wanted you. I want you to love me and cherish me. Make the whole world stop for a while without me having to worry that you will disappear from it. I am doing this for you as much as I am doing it for me, don't you understand? Won't you rely on me to do what is best for us?"

"Please…I don't want that," you replied firmly, not even a moment of hesitation on your side. No matter what he said, you couldn't decide if illumi was telling the truth or if he lied. You were sure he was manipulating you, but at the same time, he did it with the face of an angel, hiding much, much more than you'd ever know even if you expected there to be hidden meaning behind it all.

"Oh dear...I see," he sighed, the smile never leaving his glazed lips no matter how he was feeling at the moment. Was he angry? Disappointed? Enraged? You weren't sure if even Illumi himself knew. But you did notice his grip on your legs growing harder as he kept squeezing down on them. "Then I guess I will make you rely on me."

Surely enough, you couldn't keep up your scared-up-stance for much longer as he seemed to force you to the ground. You could feel your expression harden in pain as you gasped, pushing at his shoulders desperately. However, illumi used the moment of your focus shifting to move forward to your face, kissing you in a moment you were stunned by his unexpected actions. "Please my dear, don't hate me too much," he mumbled, almost sounding... remorseful.

"I just think those legs don't do us any good as long as they are attached to you. After all, we both need to make sacrifices."

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[masochist-marmot]

Killua Zoldyck deserves better

I have been watching Hunter x Hunter (2011) alongside the wonderful Media Club Plus podcast (that's 95 episodes and no more, so you can expect spoilers but beyond that point I'm in the dark), and I have thoughts I need to scream into the void.

TW: references to child abuse and canon-typical violence

Killua is the best little murder boi and he deserves so much better. I want to adopt him and show him that he deserves love that isn't dependent on how well he can shut everyone out emotionally (and rip people's hearts out, I guess). The show does such a good job demonstrating how an abusive home will leave its marks on you and undermine everything you do and every relationship you try to have after leaving. As someone who grew up in an emotionally abusive household, I recognise the overwhelming and disproportionate fear response you get when faced with conflict. The inability to defend yourself and even the ones you love is very real, even if I've never been put in mortal danger at the hands of a cat boy. Yet. A girl can dream.

Getting Illumi's pin out could have felt like a cheap cop-out if we hadn't seen Killua struggling with the effects for several arcs and then gruesomely reaching into his own head to remove the physical manifestation of (and allegory for) the trauma response. The fact that he didn't even notice the pin before that moment is also fitting, since you usually become blind to the origin of what your body and mind determines as an incredibly vital survival reflex. Recognising and dealing with it is hard, and it's gruelling, and it usually takes years of therapy and and environment that doesn't require you to uphold your maladaptive reactions. Since this is shounen, we can't have Killua undergo years of therapy to recover, so this emotional character moment was super effective at making me tear up and cheer. It was satisfying. In a true shounen fashion, the power of Killua's love for his best friend has prevailed over his family-induced trauma.

Speaking of best friends, and this may be controversial:

Killua deserves so much better than Gon. Killua is so single-mindedly loyal and devoted to this oblivious boy who takes him for granted at every turn. I choose to read this relationship through a queer lens (Killua is in love with his best friend who barely even thinks about him), but it's not necessary for my point to stand.

So, obviously the friendship is not completely one-sided. Gon quite literally walked into Killua's assassin mountain home to drag him away from his abusive family. (An interesting side point: Killua chose to subject himself to the family's punishment, even though he could have walked away at any point. He had been programmed to believe he deserved it, which is very common in abuse victims.) Killua feels like Gon is the first person who valued him outside of his family, since he hasn't been allowed to make friends. Of course he's going to devote himself mindlessly to him. This is also quite common in abuse victims: you latch yourself onto whoever shows you kindness, because you fear that no one else will ever love you if they leave.

Meanwhile, Gon is completely absorbed with his own goal of finding his dad (who would deserve a rant of his own) and generally doing whatever he finds fun or interesting. He expects Killua to follow him but also seems entirely fine with the idea of parting ways. The fact that he's so blind to Killua's unhealthy devotion to him means that he will keep putting Killua into danger and uncomfortable situations (you know, since he says he's fine with it) without any regard for _why_ Killua is fine with it. I'm pretty sure Killua would be willing to die for his "best friend", and if he does, I swear I'm done with the show. This friendship is not balanced. It's not even codependent, since only one party is dependent on the other.

Now, I'm well aware that these are literal children (and moreover, literal shounen characters) whose emotional and character development is not done. I also love both characters dearly and their relationship makes for some good television. But I stand by my thesis statement: Killua Zoldyck deserves better.

PS. Go listen to Media Club Plus, they're great at delving into themes and characters.

[windsweptinred]

I would like to get to know you better!

Thank you for the tag @marvagon coyly accepts that Desunity kiss 😚💖💖💖

1. 3 ships I really like right now: Just three? 🥺... I'll pull them from Sandman as it's the fandom I'm most active in here on tumblr. If I was pulling from all my fandom pairings I'd be here all day trying to narrow it down. 🙈

Corinthiel (The Corinthian x Daniel) They're my sun, moon and stars, always on my mind. The very peak of mount feralfan. My boys. 🤍💛

Desunity (Desire of the Endless x Unity Kinkaid) My darlings. My beloveds. I fell in love with this ship from the moment I first saw it and have been utterly devoted ever since.

Last ship.... Ooooo so torn. It's going to have to be ConstantDeath by a teeny tiny percentage. Joanne Constantine x Death of the Endless. I loved this ship so damn much when it was first suggested. But then it seemed to dissappear into the mists of time. Femslash weekend has brought it back in abundance though and I am screaming with joy.

Honourable mentions to the tender box of chocolates that is Callienne and Dreamling will always be my first sandman ship. You never forget your first. There's something about RoseGault I find intriguing too. Oh and must never forget Despoe!

2. First ever ship: Daiken/Kensuke.. Daisuke Motomiya and Ken Ichijouji from Digimon season 2. My OG sunbeam and soggy raincloud. I'll still wander back from time to time a read a fanfic or two.

3. Last song: Bushes of Love by Bad Lip Reading.... 'We've all got a chicken, duck, woman thing waiting for us.' Wise words I live by. 😎

4. Last movie: Werewolf by Night. I'll admit I'm suffering immensely from Superhero fatigue. But I adore Marvel's ventures into the supernatural. Werewolf by Night has become a staple halloween film for me. And I have rewatched Moonknight soooooo many times.

5. Currently reading: I think I've done an ask about what book I'm reading fairly recently. So instead, I'm on Adult fanfiction.net...remember that? Revisiting some of my favorite Book Sherlock Holmes x John Watson fanfics that never made the journey across to AO3.

6. Currently watching: The Fall of the House of Usher. It's not October for me without a Mike Flanagan series. And I'm giving True Detective a try. Gritty southern gothic x lovecraftian vibes.. It's perfection!

7. Currently eating: A vanilla custard slice... Tasty, indulgent and infamous for reducing grown ass adults to toddler levels of eating. 😆 It is not possible to consume these things genteelly. All part of their charm.

8. Currently craving: That feel of winter in the night, that slight smell of ice in the air. You know we've offically entered the dark half of the year then. We're truly in Autumn.

Tag nine people: (or so, no pressure!) @bobbole @rriavian @illumi-nati-png @jazzy-a @melrocks21 @bazzybelle @tickldpnk8 @mashumaru and @ibrithir-was-here

[nightfall-by-jacqui-natla]

14. JOSEPH

I STOOD UNWAVERING, ACCUSTOMED TO the agony in that cry. It was a sound that resonated deeply within me, a sound that would forever haunt me.

It was Bree's cry.

The cry of a broken soul, a cry that echoed through the empty halls of my heart. I could feel the weight of her pain, the heaviness of her sorrow, as if it were my own burden to bear. And yet, I stood there, unmoving, unable to offer any solace or comfort.

She was distant from me. And I had to locate her immediately.

I shut my eyes and relied on my hearing to guide me. The sound of her wail seemed to grow louder, more desperate, as if it were a beacon leading me towards her. I pursued the reverberations, maneuvering through the eerie forest with a heightened sense of purpose. Then, I discerned a noise. A voice.

"Who created you?" inquired a young girl's voice.

Bree's shrieks reverberated across the woods, evoking a complex blend of feelings within me. Regret, compassion, fury - a tumultuous whirlwind of emotions.

"Bree, I'm on my way," I whispered to myself, determination fueling my every step as I sprinted for her.

As I ran, the branches of the trees whipped against my face, leaving stinging marks that I couldn't register. The urgency in Bree's cries pushed me forward. Each breath I took was filled with a mix of fear and determination, propelling me deeper into the heart of the forest.

"I don't know," Bree's voice trembled, barely audible amidst her gasps of pain. "Riley wouldn't tell us. He said our thoughts weren't safe."

Another agonizing scream tore through the trees, a chilling reminder of the horrors that awaited her.

I pushed myself harder through the underbrush. My feet pounded against the forest floor, propelling me forward. Every instinct within me screamed to hurry, to reach Bree before it was too late.

Then, suddenly, her cries ceased, leaving a haunting silence in their wake...

How could I possibly erase that memory from my mind? How could anyone possibly let such a significant moment slip away? Bree's piercing screams continued to reverberate within the depths of my consciousness, haunting me even after her untimely demise.

With every glimpse of her face and every moment spent in her presence, the floodgates of remembrance would burst open, flooding my mind with vivid recollections. It was as if her essence intertwined with that of my half sister, Ayla, for they both possessed an uncanny resemblance in their sweet, innocent, and untainted personalities. It was as if Bree's untimely demise had somehow merged their souls, forever linking them in my memories. 

I yearned for a release, a way to let go of the pain that consumed me. But the more I fought against the memories, the more they clung to me, refusing to be forgotten. They became a part of me, an indelible mark on my psyche that I could not escape.

Why was it me who survived? This question plagued me relentlessly ever since I left Forks and found refuge with the Khotlers. I wasn't the most skilled, nor was I a seasoned warrior like Gabriel who had faced full-fledged battles. Yet, I remained among the living while countless others perished. The answer was clear, though I loathed to admit it. I survived because I chose to turn away. I abandoned the newborn army, Victoria, and Riley, opting for self-preservation. It was a bitter truth to swallow, but it was the reality I couldn't escape.

"I'm sorry, Bree," I whispered to myself, my voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry."

But no matter how many times I apologized, the guilt continued to consume me. Bree's face, contorted in pain and fear, haunted my memories, reminding me of the choices I had made and the lives I had left behind. The weight of their deaths pressed heavily on my conscience, a constant reminder of the darkness that lurked within me.

Suddenly, a strange sensation coursed through my body, starting from my fingertips and spreading throughout my entire being. My hands glowed with a brilliant shade of purple, illuminating the darkness around us. I just don't understand what was happening to me. Why was it happening to me and me only? Was it possible that vampires had more than one power? I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, and the purple glow slowly faded away. I looked down at the ground, feeling a sense of overwhelming guilt.

In that moment, a sense of unease settled upon me, as if the universe itself was whispering secrets in my ear. I couldn't shake the feeling that my survival came with a price, a debt that I could never fully repay. But for now, all I could do was carry the weight of my actions and strive to make amends, even if it meant facing the darkness within myself.

As I cast my eyes one final time upon the painting, a whirlwind of thoughts consumed my mind. The enigmatic secrets held within this coven intrigued me beyond measure. Gabriel and the Volturi, Alana's mysterious past, the hidden depths of everyone's histories - it all seemed to grow more and more intriguing with each passing moment.

With a swift motion, I opened the door and stepped into the living area, my invisibility cloak enveloping me like a second skin. The room was adorned with a flickering fireplace, its warm glow casting dancing shadows upon the walls. Rhona sat on the couch, her face contorted with a snarl as she stared into the crackling flames. The sound of footsteps echoed from the stairs, and Joseph's distinct Cockney accent filled the room.

"Rhona, there you are," he greeted, settling down beside her. "Just a friendly reminder that you and Alana have a hunting expedition ahead."

Rhona let out a weary sigh. "I'm simply waiting for her."

Joseph shook his head, his eyes filled with understanding. "Rhona, my dear, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Your past does not define you. It's what you choose to do in the present and the future that truly matters."

Rhona's response was tinged with a hint of bitterness. "I understand that, Joseph. But sometimes, I can't help but think about how they get to revel in the joys of life while I suffered for their transgressions."

As their conversation unfolded, a wave of sympathy washed over me. What had Rhona endured? And who were these mysterious individuals she spoke of? The answers to these questions eluded me, leaving me with an insatiable curiosity that begged to be satisfied.

"Don't view it in that light," Joseph reassured her, gently placing his hand on hers. "I know the pain they caused you, Rhona. But I promise you, I won't let anyone hurt you." 

Leaning forward, he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, and a soft smile graced Rhona's lips as she rested her head against his neck. 

"I know you won't," she whispered. 

Just as the moment seemed to linger, Alana entered the living area, abruptly interrupting the tranquility. "Alright, ready for some hunting?" 

Rhona rose from the couch, planting a loving kiss on Joseph's head before following Alana towards the front door. As they departed, Joseph let out a sigh. 

"I'm aware of your presence, Violet," he spoke, and I gracefully emerged from my concealed position, deactivating my invisibility cloak.

I approached him, my mind swirling with questions. What was happening within this coven? And what mysteries were they concealing?

"I just happened to walk by," I fabricated, attempting to appear casual. The man seated in front of me arched an eyebrow, his gaze penetrating.

"Did you overhear my conversation with my wife?" he interrogated, his tone hushed and suspicious.

I gulped, sensing the intensity of his stare. "I...I simply walked in," I stammered, my voice quivering slightly.

However, he remained unconvinced. "You know how I can tell?" he remarked, leaning closer. "I not only have the ability to sense individuals, but I can also delve into your thoughts."

A chill ran down my spine. This man was no ordinary mortal. He wasn't even a typical vampire. His powers exceeded my comprehension.

Well, at least I wouldn't be the sole vampire with multiple gifts.

"That seems a bit greedy," I joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "Having more than one gift." 

He laughed, a deep sound resonating in his chest. "Coming from someone with invisibility and that... purple light thing," he gestured vaguely at the last part.

I chuckled nervously, feeling a bit exposed. "Yeah, I guess we all have our unique talents," I replied, trying to steer the conversation away from my own abilities. 

He leaned back in his chair, studying me with a thoughtful expression. "So, what brings you here, if not to eavesdrop on my conversation?" he asked, his tone softer now, more curious than accusatory. 

I hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. But something about his demeanor put me at ease, and I found myself opening up to him.

"Did you know that Gabriel was with the Volturi when he was a newborn?" I inquired, exuding an air of self-assured knowledge.

He responded with a deliberate nod. "Indeed, we are well aware of this. Did Gabriel himself disclose this information to you?" 

I shook my head in response. "No, it was through a painting hanging on the wall, depicting Gabriel alongside the Volturi. Subsequently, he shared his story with me, getting to know him more."

Joseph responded with a brief smile, "That must have been quite a shock for you," he commented. "The Volturi are not to be underestimated."

If I had a coconut for every time a vampire said something like that—

"You'd have a coconut plantation," Joseph casually completed my sentence.

I chuckled at his quick wit, grateful for the lighthearted moment in the midst of our serious conversation. "I suppose so," I replied, shaking my head in amusement. Then, my eyes searched his face. "How did you meet him?"

"I was the first member," Joseph revealed, his voice carrying a tinge of nostalgia. "Born into a strict English Christian family in the year 1614, my father was Charles Dawson. Sadly, my mother passed away shortly after giving birth to my younger brother, Ingram. We took on her maiden name as a tribute. My father was never the same after her death. It was a difficult time for us all."

"Sounds like we have more in common than I thought," I mused sadly.

Joseph nodded, his eyes filled with a mix of nostalgia and sorrow. "It seems that way. After my mother's death, my father became distant and withdrawn, leaving my brother and me to fend for ourselves. We were raised in a small village, where life was tough and opportunities were scarce."

"But then, everything changed," Joseph continued, his lips momentarily pursing together. "At the age of fifteen, I developed the ability to 'read' people -" he gestured air quotes around 'read' - "meaning I became exceptionally perceptive, noticing even the minutest details about something or someone. For instance, I observed that Ingram possessed a profound fascination with shadows, particularly in creating, molding, and manipulating darkness and shadows."

"Wait, you can read people?" I interrupted, intrigued by this revelation. "Like a real-life Sherlock Holmes?"

Joseph simply nodded in response. "Yes, in a way," he replied. "I have a keen eye for detail and can pick up on subtle cues and behaviors that others might overlook."

"But what about your brother? Why did he have an interest in shadows and darkness?"

Joseph's eyes sparkled with a mixture of pride and intrigue as he began to explain. "Ingram's fascination with shadows and darkness started when we were children. He always had a mysterious aura about him, and he would spend hours experimenting with different ways to manipulate shadows. It was as if he had an innate connection to the darkness itself."

I leaned in closer, captivated by Joseph's story. "And what did you make of it? Did you think it was just a passing phase?"

Joseph chuckled softly, his voice tinged with fondness. "At first, I thought it was just a childhood fascination, something he would eventually outgrow. But as the years went by, his interest only grew stronger. He would spend countless hours studying ancient texts and practicing his shadow manipulation techniques."

I couldn't help but be intrigued by Ingram's unique talent. "So, what exactly can he do with shadows? Is it some kind of magic?"

Joseph's smile widened, revealing a hint of excitement. "It's hard to explain, but he..."

His expression suddenly shifted, a hint of concern clouding his features. "I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to his fascination than he let on."

"What are you trying to say?" I inquired.

Joseph's gaze flickered with a blend of intrigue and apprehension. "I stumbled upon the Seal of Astaroth within his ring."

The implications of what he had discovered were chilling. "Are you suggesting that he was involved in some sort of occult?"

Joseph nodded solemnly, his eyes filled with a mix of fear and determination. "Yes, Violet. It seems that way. The Seal of Astaroth, hidden within his ring, is a symbol of his allegiance to this cult. They believed that Astaroth, a powerful demon, was their leader."

A shiver ran down my spine as I tried to comprehend the gravity of the situation. The world suddenly seemed much darker, filled with secrets and hidden dangers. I couldn't help but wonder what other horrors lay beneath the surface.

"Did you confront him about it?" I questioned.

"I tried to warn him about the dangers of dabbling in demon worship, but Ingram didn't listen. And then, one day, he vanished without a trace."

The thought of someone I had known and trusted being involved in something so dark and dangerous was unsettling. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to Ingram, and if his involvement with the cult had led to his disappearance.

"When did he disappeared?" I pressed on. 

"Around 1643, I believe," Joseph wiped his nose and I saw his golden eyes gloomily looked down. "News got around the residents and my father, who didn't show any interest in us, said that I killed my brother with dark magic and had me locked up, ready to be executed."

"Wait, they thought you killed Ingram?" I inquired. 

Joseph nodded, his voice filled with bitterness. "Yes, they believed that I was responsible for Ingram's disappearance. They accused me of using dark magic to harm him, and I swore I had nothing to do with it."

I couldn't help but feel a surge of sympathy for Joseph. It seemed like he had been wrongly accused and imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit. The weight of his brother's disappearance and the false accusations must have been unbearable.

"I'm sorry that had to happen to you."  I offered my sympathies, though I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt for some reason.

Joseph's lips curled into a knowing smirk. "I was prepared to meet my end. But then, Gabriel appeared in my cell. The moment I locked eyes with him, I knew he was a vampire. He offered me the chance to live forever, and I made the choice to embrace it."

"Gabriel?" I repeated, my voice barely a whisper. "And you accepted it? Why?"

Joseph's gaze hardened, his eyes now filled with a mix of determination and regret. "I had nothing left to lose," he confessed, his voice laced with bitterness. "Ingram was gone, my family had turned against me, and I was facing certain death. Gabriel promised me power, immortality, and a chance to uncover the truth behind Ingram's disappearance. I couldn't resist.

A wave of conflicting emotions washed over me. On one hand, I understood Joseph's desperation and the allure of the unknown. But on the other hand, I couldn't help but question the consequences of his decision. Had he truly found the answers he sought? Or had he merely traded one darkness for another? 

Joseph continued his narrative, recounting the moment he joined forces with Gabriel to establish their coven. "I left with Gabriel that night," he reminisced. "Becoming his partner and co-leader of the coven, I utilized my unique abilities to identify humans who could be of great value to us. It was through this process that I'd found Rhona."

Curiosity sparked within me as I pondered the nature of Rhona's beauty. "I wonder if she was a pretty human," I mused, my gaze fixed intently on Joseph.

A faint sense of wonder colored Joseph's voice as he responded, "One can only imagine. By the time I laid eyes on her, she had already transitioned into a vampire, leaving me in awe."

The realization that Rhona had existed as a vampire for a longer duration than Joseph sent a chill down my spine. How many years had she traversed the earth, preying upon unsuspecting souls? Joseph's tragic past only served to deepen the weight of my contemplations, although it paled in comparison to Gabriel's own burdens.

"And did you find what you were looking for?" I asked cautiously, thinking about his brother and his fate, my curiosity getting the better of me. 

Joseph replied. "I think you've found him first. Remember you told me, Gabriel and Simon that you saw a dark figure at Epping Forest? You saw red eyes on it?" 

Joseph responded, "I believe you stumbled upon him initially. Recall when you recounted seeing a shadowy figure at Epping Forest to Gabriel and Simon? You mentioned spotting red eyes on it?"

The memory flooded back vividly. I had been on the verge of attacking the cyclist when I caught sight of it. Those crimson eyes gleaming in the shadows.

"Yes, I remember," I replied, my mind racing at the thought of that eerie encounter. "But what does that have to do with your brother?" 

Joseph's expression darkened as he explained, "I think you saw Ingram in the forest. Or at least one of his creation. I have been searching for my brother for years now, following any lead or clue that might bring me closer to him. And I believe that your encounter in Epping Forest may have been a crucial piece of the puzzle."

I felt a surge of guilt and responsibility wash over me. Had I missed an opportunity to help Joseph find his brother, or had I unknowingly put myself in danger by encountering one of Ingram's creations? 

"Is there a library nearby?" I suddenly inquired, a glimmer of hope shining through.

"Yes, we have one," Joseph replied, gesturing towards the staircase. "Upstairs, to the right. Second door on your left. Simon is there as well, he's quite the bookworm."

I nodded, grateful for the chance to gather more information and potentially help Joseph in his search.

[yandere-daydreams]

Daytrip Illumi my beloved... and poor Darling. You capture how unnerving and unsettling he should be so well!

Illumi should be Strange and Uncanny even at his mildest(? not sure if an Illumi in love could be 'mild', but idk if it could be called volatile either. Darling was right, you can't ever tell with him); man was cosplaying Pinhead for a week. He could talk the whole time but just literally rattled at people. And poor Ghost, my stomach just dropped because everything so far was downright too tame and too thoughtful for a Yandere.

Aside from the porn, I was waiting for that drop. Darling really can't have nice things, can't she? Or rather, she can't have anything he's not able to take. Whether a Darling is defiant (Obedience Training, Ingress) or submissive (Daytrip) he's always going to pile on the trauma.

But the moment he started mouthing and groping at her in the car, I knew he was out of patience. Everything else that day was window dressing and foreplay, and the bit where she picks a cute, frilly, puff-sleeved dress really sold the toy and doll comparison later, she was so right at the observation that Illumi took her as a ballerina for his music box. In the end, the daytrip really wasn't for her to enjoy: he ripped up her dream dress, dashed her hope that her cat was doing well without her, and didn't get to eat anything at the picnic aside from the morsel he gave her. Girl couldn't even enjoy the scenery cause he blocked it off with himself. The end was so despondent in comparison to the beginning where she resolves to take any out that presents itself, falling asleep and giving into the dark (Illumi) swallowing her.

And meanwhile, Illumi's just had an epiphany on why his parents kept having kids even after the designated heir Killua. And also patting himself on the back cause he checked off all the boxes on his 'perfect romantic date to-do list', and gotten the *ideal* ending of having finally lost his v-card. 10/10, Great Day. Would do again sometime (but not too soon).

The juxtapostion between her opinion of how the daytrip went and his opinion of how it went must be... something. I almost don't want to know, and I don't know how to properly describe what this made me feel, but it's visceral.

i love it when you people treat my silly little fics like they need to be studied under a microscope,,,, i will be living on this ask for weeks thank you anon <3

illumi just makes me,,, yeah. i feel like there's so little you can do to actually fight against him (running's not an option when he has you under surveillance 24/7, fighting a seasoned hitman won't end well, etc.), but good behavior only makes him more likely to proceed with the awful things he would've done anyway, had you spent every minute from your inevitably kidnapping kicking, screaming, and cursing his name. he's got a running checklist of uncomfortable positions he'd like to see you in, and it's less a question of when you'll be ready for it and more what he'll have to do to make you compliant enough to be, if not a willing participant, than a docile one. i think he does care about your feelings and you loving him back, but your priorities are so drastically different that you two are never actually going to end up on the same page. in his mind, he's done his research (i.e. played roughly a hundred hours of the most popular dating sims he could get his hands on), been a good partner, and taken very good care of his beloved doll/pet/captive. in yours, you've been violated and abused by the man who both kidnapped you and admitted to killing your cat without blinking, and there's very little reconciliation from there.

[illumisimi]

Can I request the adult trio with a s/o who is trying to make them jealous on purpose because of an argument they had earlier?

trying to make them jealous

characters: hisoka morrow ; illumi zoldyck ; chrollo lucilfer

warnings: none

notes: half of these were written ages ago, so it's quite fun to see what I had thought up back in 2020. nevertheless, I do hope you like this response nonnie, if you're still here ! ♡

! HISOKA

just know, from the start, that this won’t play out in your favour

the two of you had had an argument that same morning about something you couldn’t even remember, but you had stormed out of the house in an instant, leaving hisoka behind 

as you walked through the city, you happened to come across one of your friends, a male friend at that. hisoka had never truly liked him, but you couldn’t care less about that right now, he was the least of your worries

your friend offered to go and have a drink in a café he quite enjoyed, and you happily agreed. you needed someone to talk to, get your mind off of the stress that you had caused yourself just a few hours earlier

as you chatted with your friend, you could feel yourself calming down, completely forgetting all about what had happened. you couldn’t find the words to thank the one in front of you, so you simply enjoyed his company whilst you held the conversation

not an hour had passed when you spotted, from the corner of your eye, a red-haired man approach the building

you knew he was going to barge in and probably make an unnecessary scene, trying to get you to go home with him

but you weren’t going to budge, not this time

however, things didn’t seem to be going as you had expected. instead of entering the café, hisoka’s tall form landed on a woman’s, whom you had never seen in your life

it looked as if he was enjoying himself quite a bit, as he was getting ever so close to her and smiling down in glee. what the hell was he playing at?

you managed to avert your gaze for a good twenty minutes, but it got to the point that you just weren’t going to put up with his actions any longer

bidding a quick farewell to your friend, you exited the café and made a bee line towards your boyfriend, who still hadn’t let up his teasing act

needless to say, he would find your reaction amusing once your reached him, and you knew as soon as you got back home he would tease you endlessly about it

! ILLUMI

this probably wasn’t the best idea you had ever had. at all

you couldn’t exactly recall the reason as to why you barged out of the large mansion in rage, needing to get away from your partner

all you knew was that he had pulled on the wrong strings and you were more than just angry

so you decided to hit the streets of the nearest village to the zoldyck’s residence, it hopes that you could find something to do to take your mind off of the rage you were currently drowning in

coincidentally, you stumbled across one of your good friends, who happened to be a guy. you had known him for absolutely years by now, and despite Illumi’s dislike towards other men being around you, the two of you still kept in touch quite regularly 

it was the perfect opportunity take a break and catch up with him, so you followed him to a nearby bar where he offered to buy you some drinks

though everything was platonic, the dark eyes that stared at you from beyond the glass windows didn’t see it as such 

you hadn’t noticed Illumi’s empty glare, as the lights from inside prevented anything that was outside to be seen

it was now his turn to get slightly angry, seeing as the guy next to you was getting awfully close and comfortable around you

were you cheating on him already? 

it wasn’t until you said your goodbyes to your friend that you encountered the looming figure that was your boyfriend 

had you not noticed his distinct scent, you would have screamed. you loved him, but he could be downright creepy sometimes

like he was being right now 

“what a lovely surprise seeing you here, ‘lumi”

you knew exactly what he was thinking

“I hope you gave him some warm goodbyes”

“don’t you dare. we spoke about my friends being off limits, and you agreed to it, remember?”

checkmate

! CHROLLO

chrollo would wonder where you were planning on running off to after storming out on him due to an argument you had just had. not very far, he was sure about that.

it just so happened that he had ticked you off in the phantom troupe's hideout, having tagged along with them because you were convinced that the current mission wasn't as dangerous as others they had been assigned.

truth be told, the main reason was to spend some little more time with your partner - who, at the moment, you couldn't even look at him without spurting steam from your ears. despite having been away from each other for the best part of three months, chrollo still managed to say something way out of line.

so here you were, steps echoing throughout the abandoned building. the gravel stabbing your feet only incited you to speed up, and it wasn't long before you spotted another member of the troupe in the far distance.

you couldn't tell if it was phinks or nobunaga, as whoever it was had their back turned to you. either way, it seemed you had stumbled across a perfect opportunity to get back at chrollo

it wasn't an unknown fact that chrollo liked to keep what is his, his. uvogin had tried to see how far he would take this ideology by flirting with you, almost earning himself a one way ticket out of the troupe by chrollo's hand

but, you had never flirted with one of them. what could be the worst that could happen?

"hey phinks, do you think you could check if there's something on my back? i swear the spiders in here keeping targeting me"

the blond hadn't noticed your presence until you were only a few feet away from him. he gave out a low grunt as a response, typical for the large majority of the men here.

you turned around, lifting your hair up to give him a clear view of the back of your neck. footsteps in the distance could be heard, faintly, as they approached

"can't see anything; shalnark probably pricked you with one of his pins earlier"

"oh, but are you sure? it just feels like there's something on me just...here"

you slipped the strap of your top down, showing the skin of your back to the spider behind you.

phinks, on his behalf, was a little more than just confused. he got along with you, but surely you didn't hold that much trust in him, especially when chrollo was-

"might I ask what is going on here?"

your partner's stoic smile never left his face, but by the way he held himself before you, it was clear the question had more than just curiosity behind it

"she just-"

"I was only asking for some help, chrollo. is there something wrong with that?"

phinks internally thanked you as, when you spoke up, chrollo's eyes turned from burning into his down to your own, a clear shift in his stare as the corners of his mouth stretched out a little more

"well, I'm always here if you have questions. no need to resort to others. surely you don't want to be a burden"

deciding to leave you two to it, the blond behind you managed to slip away. however, he knew he would be receiving unimpressed looks from his boss for the next few days.

you, on the other hand, would about to be dragged by your boyfriend into a secluded area. for a good lesson, he'd say

2022 © illumisimi

[manias-wordcount]

Hi! Can I get Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist), Tamaki Suoh (OHSHC), and Illumi Zoldyck with a hypermobile fem s/o with knee problems?

Here’s where the insight comes: now, because of my flexible joints, I can do all sorts of weird things. I can twist my arms like 360 degrees or so (sometimes, I hear the joints popping; it doesn’t hurt most of the time, but I do feel a minor squeeze at worst), I can bend my thumb to my forearm (though it hurts somewhat if I hold it too long, but that goes away quickly; for some reason, my left is more flexible than my right), and I’ve been known to be able to touch my shoulder or even my face with my foot if I stretch it enough. Also, my skin is stretchier than most people’s, and it’s to the point where I can kind of cover my thumb in my hand (and it freaks people out). Also, I can do this thing where I turn my hands inward and my elbows poke out (I legit once had a girl come to me saying, “That’s not normal,” bless her heart. I even do what’s called the W position on a daily basis, which is comfortable to sit in but takes a bit to get up from. Conveniently, it allows me to scratch my own back without a backscratcher or even give myself a massage if I want. On the downside, I have a history of kneecap dislocations (I’ve had a total of 4: 3 times in the left kneecap and once in the right, all on separate occasions and it’s been happening since I was 13). As such, I’m best off with low-impact exercises like swimming or cycling because they’re easier on my joints than, say, soccer. Thankfully, I’ve found things like hot baths and basically being in hot water is very soothing for my joints. Also, I remember I was once recommended mustard paste for my kneecaps but I have yet to test it. I don’t know the exact cause of my hypermobility because I haven’t been diagnosed yet but that’s ok.

Note: I don’t know if you write for Meliodas from Seven Deadly Sins or Snake from Black Butler, but if you do, are you ok with adding them too? If not, would another character of your choice from those fandoms be ok?

Hypermobile S/o with knee problems HCs (Edward Elric, Tamaki Suoh, Illumi Zoldyck, Meliodas, Snake)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼 !!!!

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

Edward Elric

Out of everyone?

He’s probably the one who knows the most about hypermobility

Though he was extremely surprised the first time he saw it in action

It’s something he definitely read about when doing all kinds of studies about the human body

And when he was just finding out about hypermobility, he was probably surprised at first about just how much more complex it is

Though now that he’s older, he’s prepared to help with any potential problems that may arise for you

However, he’s still Ed

He’ll be the one to help you to the infirmary when your knee dislocates

But you know he’ll panic and he’ll yell about it first before he gains enough sense to get you the help you need

So at least he isn’t totally useless…he’s just Ed!

Tamaki Suoh

10000% will scream “WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR BODY” the first time he saw your hypermobility

But don’t worry

A quick dumbed-down explanation (by Haruhi or even Karou) will have Tamaki singing a different tune in a second

In fact, he’d probably start asking if you could do a bunch of tricks

And if you could show it to him too LOL

Out of everyone, it’ll probably be Honey to ask if it ever hurts doing all the things your body is able to do

And the second you mention your knee problems? Oh boy

Tama-chan is going to be all over you

Researching about all the things that could ever go wrong, looking up what he can ever do to help, finding out if there's stuff he can buy you to make things better- the works

But hey! At least he’s supportive!

Illumi Zoldyck

He knows

No need to tell you anything

In fact, knowing him and his family?

It’s entirely possible he knew before YOU did

If you ever do anything to showcase your hypermobility, he won’t comment much on it

He’s just content watching you do your own thing

He will tell you to be careful though

But you don’t have to worry much

The household knows your medical history- all of it

Illumi (and literally anyone on the Zoldyck payroll) are here to assist you if ever the need arises

Meliodas

Genuinely does think it’s cool

But he’ll be super nonchalant about it as he usually is with the weirdest things

Though you know he’ll be bragging about how cool he thinks you are when he gets drunk to the other guys

Of course, it’s probably Gowther that points out how your hypermobility has been the source of a few instances of pain for you

And suddenly it starts to make sense why you’re the first to move far away from a fight

Aside from Hawks after someone gives him a swift kick to belly

And your general avoidance for anything high impact

Naturally, he’s going to start consulting the all-knowing Merlin if there’s anything she can do to help you

And even though it’s disappointing to hear that she currently has nothing in her arsenal, you at least have a very powerful demon now looking out for you in case of a problem!

(…As if you didn’t have that all along LOL)

Snake

As a (former) member of Noah’s Ark circus, you’re not the first person he’s met with hypermobility

Compared to others, finding out about this aspect of your life isn’t so surprising given his upbringing

Though he can’t say he expected it

Something like this isn’t so obvious until it is

Of course, that doesn’t mean he knows anything about it

He’s not the most sociable (or knowledgeable) for that matter

It was through getting close to you and hearing you speak about yourself that he was able to learn about hypermobility and how it affects you in particular

Finding out about your knee problems and your other sources of pain definitely made him a little more protective

Not like he was doing anything that would end up bad for you in the first place but still!

Snake is a good boy at heart! He’ll look out for you <3

[olivyh]

Hi me again 😅, I hope it's ok if I make one more requests. Can we get a ruggie x reader, where the poor boy is sick and to try and cheer him up, reader decides to make him his favorite l,

donuts

And hey, they may not be the prettiest looking donuts he's ever seen, but at least they're the tastiest he's ever eaten.

( yes, they'd be edible, they're not Lilia, I think they know how to cook that much, I'm sorry batdad that it had to be said)

A/N: Welcome back!!! I love writing Ruggie so it's no biggie <<333!! Also Ruggie using really sweet pet names (darlin, sugar, honey) makes me so happy!!! I also got a burst of motivation so hopefully I'll be able to finish up most of these requests <<333

Ruggie swore he had never felt worse.

He knew it had been a problem when he woke up and he felt that his throat was scratchier than usual, no matter how many times he cleared his throat or drank water the discomfort never went away. For a fleeting moment, he'd tried to fool himself into believing that it was the way he'd slept. Maybe the cold night air of the Savannah crept into his throat and dried it out? Maybe he slept with his mouth open? whatever it was, he was determined to not let it ruin his day. He woke up at his usual time- 5:30 am- ignoring the heat that rushed to his head and made his hands shake as his entire body ached as though he'd just run a mile.

Throughout Magshift practice, Leona could tell that he was more distracted than usual- slower, out of breath easier than was normal. He'd been excused from practice early, something that wounded Ruggie's pride as he tried to ignore the jeers of his dormmates as he walked off the field, opting to spend the extra hour finishing up some overdue homework and patching up some of his peers' torn uniforms for some spare cash.

The rest of the day was a blur. After the fever and the aches came the coughing that nearly made him double over, followed by a runny nose that he would wipe out until his nose was raw and bright red against his freckled skin.

He had tried to push it off, going through the rest of his day in a haze as his body progressively shut down more and more, fatigue taking over his senses as he drug his feet to his final class and then to his shift at the Mostro Lounge. Ruggie swore that he could make it through his shift! He would only have to last a few more hours, then close the store and clean up. He would be done by 11 at the latest and then he could go back to his room and get some rest!

"Shark sucker!" Floyd's grating voice wasn't nearly enough to snap Ruggie out of his haze as he gazed over to the eel with bloodshot eyes. The taller man winced and his lower lip jutted out. "Gross."

"What is it, Floyd?" Ruggie was in no mood for jokes or games, his condition only serving to make him more irritable as he rested against the bar, taking a deep inhale as he allowed his eyes to slip closed at the wave of discomfort that ran up his spine at the action.

"You sound like an old man," The mer chuckled. "Are you sure you should be here now?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"You look dead and you sound even worse," Ruggie huffed, filling a tall glass with some water before downing it, wincing at the pain creeping up the back of his throat at the action.

"I don't," As if on cue, his voice broke as he was forced into a coughing fit that had him doubling over. He could barely make out Floyd's chuckles turning into surprise as his vision went black.

"Good morning, baby," He heard when he had finally started stirring. He could vaguely make out the roughness of his blankets and the scent of his lover beside him, followed by a hand cupping his cheek and a wet cloth placed upon his forehead. He groaned and tried to roll over, muscles screaming at the action. "How do you feel?"

"Like-" He cleared his throat and opened his eyes, allowing them to adjust to the soft light of his dorm room. He could hear the crickets chirping outside gleefully as the moonlight shone in through the open window, illuminating his plain room in streaks of silver and stardust. And above him, seemingly glowing as though they were sent from the sky just for him, was his beloved human. He smiled softly as he licked his lips, graciously accepting the glass of chilled water that they passed him, lightly smacking his hands when he tried to hold it himself. "Thanks," He takes a deep breath, relaxing against his pillows and relishing in the feeling of their thumb rubbing along his cheek. "I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

"Dummy-" Their attitude suddenly switched as they pinched his ear lightly, making him let out a soft yelp as his eyes shot open.

"Hey!" He pouted, pushing past the annoyance that rose in his chest at the action. "What happened to calling me 'Baby'?!"

"You get 'Baby' when you're not a dummy!" They sigh and sit back, brushing some of his hair out of his face gently. "If you were sick you could've just told me, you know?"

"I was fine," He muttered under his breath, pulling the blankets up tighter around himself as his body began to quiver with chilled that he couldn't force away.

"Floyd called me saying that you collapsed at work, and then he had to get Jack to carry you back to the dorm," The hyena's face flushed as he covered it with his hands, groaning.

"That's so embarrassing!"

"It could've been avoided if you'd just told someone," HIs lover sighed, sitting back and grabbing something from the desk. "I made you some soup. I used to eat it back at home when I was sick, so I figured it would help."

Ruggie chuckled. "Alien recipe?"

They rolled their eyes at his reaction. "Alien recipe, now open up."

Despite the way his stomach twisted at the thought of eating anything, he knew he had to get something in his stomach today. He'd had a light breakfast, and barely any lunch due to his illness, and his stomach was growling for anything but... it made him feel sick to his stomach to eat anything at the moment.

He opened his mouth hesitantly, allowing them to slip the warm spoon past his chapped lips as the flavors of vegetables and warm broth flooded his mouth; not strong enough to make him even sicker, but not bland enough to taste like warm water. As he swallowed, the warmth seemed to dull the chills ever so slightly, allowing him to relax more into his mattress.

"Thank you, Darlin'," He mumbles. "Really."

"Is it that good?" They hum. Ruggie's ear twitched as he heard more shuffling. He turned his head to see them hunched over in their chair, bag in hand as they wrangled something out of it. A sweet scent wafted through the air- one of vanilla and powdered sugar- and he hummed, heart racing in anticipation. "Here's another surprise."

He smiled warmly and reached up, cupping their face with his own calloused hand and giving their cheek a soft pat.

"But-" He groans softly, biting back a teasing smile. "You only get them if you promise to tell me next time something is wrong!"

"I promise!" Ruggie pouts, trying to make his eyes as wide as possible to deceive the human. "I'll be good!"

"Good," They hand over the bag as the boy reaches in, pulling out a small, round donut. The top was decorated in yellow and black stripes with small, messy paw print sprinkled scattered on the top. He peeked into the bag to see another four or five- some decorated fully, others sprinkled with powdered sugar, there were even two that were leaking jam out of the side and seeping through the bag, making his fingers sticky.

He took a bite into the first one he'd picked up, savoring the burst of sweetness as it made it's home in his mouth and settled within his raw throat as he swallowed. He tried to decipher the flavors within- almond, definitely. Lemon maybe? He could have sworn that he could also taste the familiar saccharine hints of honey within it as well. He hummed blissfully, taking another large bite and chewing slowly. They weren't the most beautiful donuts, no, but the love within them made up for it a thousand times over, rivaling even the most well-known baker in the world and making the flavors burst.

If Ruggie were in his normal condition, he was sure that he would burst into happy tears at the warmth that spread through his chest and sent butterflies to his stomach. His head felt as though it were spinning with the sweetness of the donuts and the person he loved sitting beside him. He wasn't sure if it was the fever or his bashfulness that lit his cheeks aflame as his ears flattened against his head.

He swore that the moment he got better he would pamper them just as much as they had to him, and ten times more. He would hold them and pepper their face with soft butterfly kisses and cook them a nice, warm meal that they could eat by Ramshackle's fireplace, just the two of them beneath a thick blanket and giggling quietly amongst the silence of the night.

"You spoil me too much, Hon," He chuckles. "I would give ya a kiss, but..."

"I won't get sick," They say suddenly, leaning closer in their chair and resting their arm beside his face, running a hand through his hair as he leaned into their touch despite the protests of his weary mind.

"Nah," He mutters, allowing his eyes to fall closed. "Beastmen are stronger than humans. If it knocked me out, it'll make you even worse..."

"I'll risk it for you," Ruggie chuckled, attempting to hide the way the phrase made his heart race in his chest, and tried to raise his head enough to press his dry lips to his lover's own soft ones, basking in their warmth before drifting off to sleep once more.

[longlostzoldyck]

you can do both

❥ illumi zoldyck x f!reader

❥ 996 words, mdni

❥ warnings/ tags: smut, oral (f. receiving), college!au

❥ summary: illumi can't wait till you're done with class to eat you out so you have to try to keep your shit together on zoom.

❥ notes: she might be a bit late but she has finally arrived. i truly never thought i'd be writing for this mans, but i got this idea and here we are. blame my sleep-deprived brain for this. be warned i will write silva smut if tired enough lol. for day 9 of the valentine's playlist i thought of doing this college au where they eat you out while you're in class and my brain screamed illumi for some reason. no i will not accept any questions at this time, your honor. xx thea

valentine's playlist | day 8 | m.list

you were exhausted, practically falling asleep in class the handful of hours of sleep catching up with you slowly the more you had to sit in place for class. illumi had finished his class day hours ago, so it was just you still at your desk, waiting for your day to be over.

you had spent the entire night writing a 20-something page essay for a class and for once were grateful for online class, barely having time to slip on illumi's hoodie and brew yourself a cup of coffee before settling in for class. you had multiple in a row so it was suddenly the afternoon and you were practically in the same position.

illumi initially laid on your bed waiting for you to be done, but he'd find himself just staring at you sitting cross-legged in front of your laptop, his oversized hoodie barely covering your underwear and leaving your legs fully exposed to him. he finally stood from the bed standing until he was towering above you. you moved one of your headphones to the side noticing your very tall boyfriend practically hovering above you, making sure to turn off your camera for a second.

"what is it," you asked him softly wondering why he had decided to stand up and just oggle at you after so many hours.

"how long until your class is over?," he answered your question with one of his own.

"this is my last block so another 45 minutes. why?"

"well, that simply won't do," he stated not even looking at you anymore. he dropped to his knees in front of you trying to part your legs, but you didn't let him.

"what do you think you're doing?," you said in a teasing tone and he finally flicked his dark eyes to meet yours. you almost laughed at his indignant expression, as his hypnotizing eyes almost bore into your soul with a simple look. he would literally consume you with just one look if he could.

"i was trying to be nice and wait until you were out of class, but i don't want to wait anymore," he explained ever simply rubbing his fingers up and down your exposed thighs.

"you know this man is an asshole about me having my camera off, illumi," you complained already knowing you were going to end up giving in. he wasn't going to give up and you didn't have the energy to refuse the stupidly good head.

"looks like you're gonna have to turn it back on then," he trailed his lips down your thighs, nipping and kissing his way towards the inside of your thighs as you just rolled your eyes. this man was going to make you lose your fucking mind.

you leaned forward turning on the camera before your professor called you out on it, then leaning back in your seat trying to remain as calm as possible as illumi teased you slowly kissing his way towards your core. you tried to focus your attention on the lecture, but you couldn't help get distracted by his touch.

you could not be bothered with whatever your professor had to say about whatever author you were supposed to have read for that day, not when illumi was tugging your underwear to the side and pressing small kisses and bites up the inside of your thigh. flicking your eyes down to him for a moment, your breath hitched when he pressed a kiss just above your clit.

he wrapped his lips around your clit sucking on your little bundle of nerves and flicking your clit back and forth with small licks. you struggled to hold back moans, a small groan slipping out your lips.

"pay attention to class, pretty girl," he said in a condescending tone before returning to your clit, licking and swirling the bud with his tongue as you let out another heavenly sigh. "might just have to quiz you afterwards if you don't behave."

you had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from moaning at his words, meeting his eyes briefly for a moment before you flicked your eyes back up to your screen. illumi somehow managed to look so perfectly composed despite the fact he was devouring your pussy, literally digging his face into your slicked up cunt. you thick thighs wrapped around his head tighter as your slick smeared across his chin.

illumi had an ability to give you the most sinful pleasure without even flinching. the only thing that would give him away would be those dark eyes. those dark eyes you loved had a glint of mischief as he looked at you fall apart above him.

he was dying to have you all lolled out and screaming in pleasure, but he would be lying if he said that he wasn't rock hard seeing you fight against the pleasure he was giving you. he was just hypnotized by the way you bit the inside of your cheek in your best attempt to hide your toe-curling pleasure.

he lulled out of his trance when he felt your hips buck in his hands. you were so close he could feel it. he tightened his hold on your thighs holding you down for him to devour easier. you bit on your bottom lip, fearing you'd draw blood as he brought you closer and closer yo your climax. he sucked on your clit harsher, sending you over the edge and leaving you cumming in his mouth. illumi continued to eat you out, not wanting a single drop of your slick to go to waste.

your attention instantly returned to your computer when you heard your professor dismiss class early. you happily closed your laptop as illumi finally pulled away from your pussy standing back up to press a sweet kiss to your lips.

"you know i'm gonna have to get revenge, right?," you responded, your lips still grazing his.

"i expect no less from you."