#would have made much more sense and they both needed it

[sam-dugesian]

[chugs energy drink]

okay, here we go.

-

👕Appearance

What is your character's favorite physical trait they possess?

their false eyes. (i'm not going to say the rude response. i know my followers want me to. but that wouldn't even be the right answer to this question)

What would your character wear if they were told they had to gussy up?

smart shoes (ankle boots), woolly ankle socks, work/casual shirt rolled up to the elbows, steam pressed dark grey smart trousers, and a smile that shifts type depending on how they wish to portray themselves.

Is there something about your character's appearance that they would change if possible?

hair, could do with some.

Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?

cotton when in public, wool in private.

What are your character's opinion on scars?

every scar tells a story. yes, i'm aware my oc has no scars because they have a healing factor.

How much interest does your character take in trends?

none. in fact that's kind of the point.

Is there someone your character tries to look similar to?

i don't think so.

Does your character have a physical trait that they're known for?

they are hollow inside like a balloon. they can go flat and slot into places.

What does your character smell like?

petrichor. it's often mentioned.

If your character could splurge on a particular garment, what would it be?

cycling jerseys.

Is your character's favorite color a color they wear often?

yes.

Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?

yes.

What is something your character would refuse to wear?

honestly, they have no shame. they'd wear anything if need be. when actively trying to work on manipulating people though, they tend to wear a chosen outfit for that.

Is there a style your character is afraid they can’t pull off?

i don't think they can really pull any style off. i don't think they even care.

Would your character wear something someone else picked out for them?

always.

Is your character's appearance more telling or deceiving?

BOTH! depends on who he's targeting.

What are your character's thoughts on wearing costumes?

preferably not hide the face, but anything goes.

Does your character have a favorite outfit?

sweater, pajama pants and slippers.

If your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?

if they didn't have a healing factor, it would be this.

-

📦Objects

Is there an item your character doesn't like to leave without?

nope. they pretty much just wing property in general. possibly just a bag to carry things in.

What gift would your character give to someone they didn't like but felt obligated to?

themself.

What type of object is likely to catch your character's attention?

people's shoes.

Is there an item your character liked that they can’t get back? 

that's the plot of a future story.

Would your character ever try to haggle?

always. even if the price is clearly labelled.

What is something your character is proud to own?

nothing. literally. he's proud he's not dependant on material possessions.

Does your character ever spend more than they have?

no. they are very savvy with resources.

What would it take for your character to give up an item they really like?

that's the plot of a future story.

Does your character prefer to give or receive gifts?

give.

Is there a type of object your character doesn’t like?

things that are demoralising in nature. not in a sense of losing identity like a costume for kids. but things that say that a person belongs to someone. even a company logo on a uniform is a bit much.

What might an acquaintance think is a good gift for your character?

information about people my character is focussed on.

Does your character personify objects?

yes. constantly. often just to annoy others.

What does your character most enjoy shopping for?

secrets.

Is there an item your character is embarrassed they own or want?

friends.

Would your character prefer something bought or made personally?

always the personal touch.

Is your character willing to ask for things?

no.

What is most important to your character when shopping?

what other people are shopping.

-

🍽️Food and Drink

What flavor would your character say their personality is?

mint.

Would your character prefer baking, cooking or mixing drinks?

baking.

Is there a food or drink your character is unwilling to try?

salty snacks.

How big is your character's appetite?

they eat very little. their body mass is very low. they're hollow.

Does your character consider eating fun?

no.

Would your character eat or drink something they didn't like to appease someone?

always.

Is there food that has made your character sick?

salty snacks.

What is your character's favorite food group?

shellfish.

Does your character like to try new foods?

yes.

What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?

black pudding.

Is your character food motivated?

not at all. food is just sustainance.

Which mealtime is your character's favorite?

breakfast.

How much does your character care about wasting food?

a little more than he should.

Does your character prefer restaurant food or home cooked food?

home cooked.

What food or drink does your character consider a treat?

that's complicated.

Is there a food texture your character doesn't like?

hard.

What kind of drinks does your character prefer?

vegetable juice.

-

🌤️Weather and Nature

What would your character do if they were suddenly caught in the rain?

smile. probably resist the urge to dance.

Has your character had a meaningful encounter with an animal?

always.

What season would your character say they're most similar to?

spring.

Is there a natural phenomenon that scares your character?

droughts.

Has your character ever had an animal phase?

i think he's living one right now.

Would your character enjoy sky gazing?

he already does and far too much to the annoyance of those around him.

Does your character have a good sense of direction?

he has a very clear plan on where he's going. not only can he understand the landscape, he can even predict what kinds of buildings are where in a city.

What type of environment does your character like best?

wet.

Is your character good with animals?

extremely. almost to the point of appearing telepathic.

How would your character react to snow?

think it looks nice, but would rather not.

What part of nature would your character most resonate with?

small rivers.

Could your character survive in the wilderness on their own for a week or more?

where do you think they came from? that's their bread and butter.

What element best represents your character?

air.

Does your character prefer hot or cold weather?

cold.

Is there a creature that scares your character?

cone snail.

What celestial body would interest your character the most?

orion.

Is your character good with plants?

ridiculously good to the point people think he has plant magic.

How willing would your character be to nap outside?

you'd be better asking them to try and nap inside for once.

What animal would your character say best represents them?

human.

-

🤝Community and Relationships

Does your character prefer company or solitude when sick?

company. they like to study people. they get bored when alone.

What is your character's favorite kind of social event?

movie release. get a front seat, sit backwards in their chair, and watch everyone's reactions to the movie.

How comfortable would your character be singing and dancing in front of others?

too comfortable.

Is your character upfront about their feelings?

no, but they lie very well.

Who would your character first seek if they needed medical help?

their friend John. he's a doctor.

How willing would your character be to go to a party with people they don't know?

too willing.

Who is your character most honest with?

i'm still trying to figure that out.

How likely is it for your character to initiate a friendship?

too likely.

Where is your character's comfort place?

someone-else's sock drawer.

Is there a habit your character has that they learned from someone else?

yes.

Does your character have people they think would worry about them if they got injured?

many.

How would your character react to being put in a position of leadership?

they'd probably be the first person to suggest the idea.

Would your character be good at providing medical assistance?

weirdly competent.

Who would your character say knows them best?

they wouldn't answer that question. but they would be thinking of their rival Sam Wamm.

Is there a person your character would turn to for backup in a fight?

you'll have to wait and see.

Who would your character most want to sign their cast if they got one?

Sam Wamm. just curious about what he'd write.

How well does your character work with others?

too well.

What is your character's favorite form of affection?

sitting near someone-else.

Does your character enjoy celebrating holidays?

they can take it or leave it.

What would it take for your character to get into a fight?

not much.

-

💓Mind, Body and Soul

What is a habit your character has that others might find cute?

wiggling his whiskers.

Are there particular sounds your character is fond of?

bass guitar.

Is your character more prone to fight or flight?

fight. in fact that's a serious issue.

Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?

considering they're a literal mythological creature? they are somewhat of a dreamer, which, side note, is actually really rare for his kind.

What words could tear your character down?

nothing really. in fact that's probably his best asset. he doesn't value language that highly.

How well does your character act under pressure?

he's calm, focussed and practical. it's when things are calm that kills him.

Is your character good at practicing self-care?

i'd say 50:50. it depends on the details.

What scents does your character find comforting?

i.. don't.. know.. i feel like i should. i feel like that's something he's been hiding.

Does your character have any allergies?

salt.

Is your character a light, medium or heavy sleeper?

super light, though he often fakes sleeping.

Does your character have strong willpower?

too strong.

Is your character more likely to give advice or seek it?

neither.

How does your character relax?

leaning over a ledge and watching people go about their lives below.

Is there a secret thing your character longs to hear?

yes.

Does your character have a sleep routine?

no.

Would your character feel confident in a fight?

too confident.

Is your character more energized in the morning, afternoon or at night?

night.

How often does your character have nightmares?

no comment.

Are there scents your character dislikes?

no comment.

Is there a fear your character wants to learn to overcome?

yes. and i don't think it's possible. it relies on others acting a certain way. which i'm sure they won't.

If your character had to act in a play what role would they think they’d best perform?

pretty much any role. they'd prefer one in the background. where they can watch everyone else.

Does your character have a high pain tolerance?

yes. and let me be specific. they don't lack an ability to sense pain. they have just learned how best to deal with it.

-

🎲 Hobbies and Activities

What kind of games does your character most enjoy playing?

mind games. truth or dare.

Does your character have a secret hobby?

yes.

What is a talent your character wishes they had?

the ability to be by themselves.

Is there an activity your character used to enjoy that they now dislike?

most activities.

Which does your character try to prioritize more, work or hobbies?

work.

Does your character work better with creative or technical endeavors?

inter-personal.

What is a talent that your character is proud of?

cloning himself.

Is your character more outdoorsy or indoorsy?

outdoorsy.

What is a topic your character would be excited to talk about? 

you.

Is there a skill your character doesn’t know they’re bad at?

loneliness.

Does your character have any injury stories?

lots.

What kind of music does your character enjoy?

edm.

Has your character ever made something for themselves or someone else?

yes and yes.

What is your character’s opinion on cheating in games?

they like to be challenged.

How good is your character at following through on projects?

too good.

What’s an activity that reminds your character of someone else?

no comment.

Does your character prefer music or silence?

music. but better yet chatter.

What is a topic your character wouldn't want to talk about?

no comment.

🌸My Super Long Hopefully Fun Character Ask Game:

👕Appearance

What is your character's favorite physical trait they possess?

What would your character wear if they were told they had to gussy up?

Is there something about your character's appearance that they would change if possible?

Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?

What are your character's opinion on scars?

How much interest does your character take in trends?

Is there someone your character tries to look similar to?

Does your character have a physical trait that they're known for?

What does your character smell like?

If your character could splurge on a particular garment, what would it be?

Is your character's favorite color a color they wear often?

Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?

What is something your character would refuse to wear?

Is there a style your character is afraid they can’t pull off?

Would your character wear something someone else picked out for them?

Is your character's appearance more telling or deceiving?

What are your character's thoughts on wearing costumes?

Does your character have a favorite outfit?

If your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?

📦Objects

Is there an item your character doesn't like to leave without?

What gift would your character give to someone they didn't like but felt obligated to?

What type of object is likely to catch your character's attention?

Is there an item your character liked that they can’t get back? 

Would your character ever try to haggle?

What is something your character is proud to own?

Does your character ever spend more than they have?

What would it take for your character to give up an item they really like?

Does your character prefer to give or receive gifts?

Is there a type of object your character doesn’t like?

What might an acquaintance think is a good gift for your character?

Does your character personify objects?

What does your character most enjoy shopping for?

Is there an item your character is embarrassed they own or want?

Would your character prefer something bought or made personally?

Is your character willing to ask for things?

What is most important to your character when shopping?

🍽️Food and Drink

What flavor would your character say their personality is?

Would your character prefer baking, cooking or mixing drinks?

Is there a food or drink your character is unwilling to try?

How big is your character's appetite?

Does your character consider eating fun?

Would your character eat or drink something they didn't like to appease someone?

Is there food that has made your character sick?

What is your character's favorite food group?

Does your character like to try new foods?

What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?

Is your character food motivated?

Which mealtime is your character's favorite?

How much does your character care about wasting food?

Does your character prefer restaurant food or home cooked food?

What food or drink does your character consider a treat?

Is there a food texture your character doesn't like?

What kind of drinks does your character prefer?

🌤️Weather and Nature

What would your character do if they were suddenly caught in the rain?

Has your character had a meaningful encounter with an animal?

What season would your character say they're most similar to?

Is there a natural phenomenon that scares your character?

Has your character ever had an animal phase?

Would your character enjoy sky gazing?

Does your character have a good sense of direction?

What type of environment does your character like best?

Is your character good with animals?

How would your character react to snow?

What part of nature would your character most resonate with?

Could your character survive in the wilderness on their own for a week or more?

What element best represents your character?

Does your character prefer hot or cold weather?

Is there a creature that scares your character?

What celestial body would interest your character the most?

Is your character good with plants?

How willing would your character be to nap outside?

What animal would your character say best represents them?

🤝Community and Relationships

Does your character prefer company or solitude when sick?

What is your character's favorite kind of social event?

How comfortable would your character be singing and dancing in front of others?

Is your character upfront about their feelings?

Who would your character first seek if they needed medical help?

How willing would your character be to go to a party with people they don't know?

Who is your character most honest with?

How likely is it for your character to initiate a friendship?

Where is your character's comfort place?

Is there a habit your character has that they learned from someone else?

Does your character have people they think would worry about them if they got injured?

How would your character react to being put in a position of leadership?

Would your character be good at providing medical assistance?

Who would your character say knows them best?

Is there a person your character would turn to for backup in a fight?

Who would your character most want to sign their cast if they got one?

How well does your character work with others?

What is your character's favorite form of affection?

Does your character enjoy celebrating holidays?

What would it take for your character to get into a fight?

💓Mind, Body and Soul

What is a habit your character has that others might find cute?

Are there particular sounds your character is fond of?

Is your character more prone to fight or flight?

Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?

What words could tear your character down?

How well does your character act under pressure?

Is your character good at practicing self-care?

What scents does your character find comforting?

Does your character have any allergies?

Is your character a light, medium or heavy sleeper?

Does your character have strong willpower?

Is your character more likely to give advice or seek it?

How does your character relax?

Is there a secret thing your character longs to hear?

Does your character have a sleep routine?

Would your character feel confident in a fight?

Is your character more energized in the morning, afternoon or at night?

How often does your character have nightmares?

Are there scents your character dislikes?

Is there a fear your character wants to learn to overcome?

If your character had to act in a play what role would they think they’d best perform?

Does your character have a high pain tolerance?

🎲 Hobbies and Activities

What kind of games does your character most enjoy playing?

Does your character have a secret hobby?

What is a talent your character wishes they had?

Is there an activity your character used to enjoy that they now dislike?

Which does your character try to prioritize more, work or hobbies?

Does your character work better with creative or technical endeavors?

What is a talent that your character is proud of?

Is your character more outdoorsy or indoorsy?

What is a topic your character would be excited to talk about? 

Is there a skill your character doesn’t know they’re bad at?

Does your character have any injury stories?

What kind of music does your character enjoy?

Has your character ever made something for themselves or someone else?

What is your character’s opinion on cheating in games?

How good is your character at following through on projects?

What’s an activity that reminds your character of someone else?

Does your character prefer music or silence?

What is a topic your character wouldn't want to talk about?

[spoiledprincessbratspostsblog]

needing

Rafe Cameron x Maybank!Reader

Warnings: English isn't my first language so I apologize for any and all mistakes. All GIF credits to the owner. Heavy implications of smut but no actual smut. Kind of Toxic!Rafe but idk??This is lowkey rushed but I needed it to get out there lol.

ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ʚɞ˚

Being JJ’s sister already meant people had a bad perception of you, but your attitude did not help the rumors anyway. You weren’t known for being nice to everyone, and that was fine because it scared the weirdos away most of the time.

You’ve always seemed strong and independent. Insults usually rolled right off you, and situations didn’t seem to bother you. Being hard-headed and having an attitude all the time was a good cover. But it was all a front. At home, your dad would constantly abuse alcohol, and you and JJ often bore the brunt of his rage. When JJ started sleeping at John B’s house and only saw you once a week, you ended up taking most of the hits.

You were friends with the Pogues, but not as close as JJ was, so you didn’t feel comfortable staying at John B’s house.

You met Rafe almost a year ago at a party. It was meant to be an emotionless hook-up and nothing more. But over time, what started as frequent, meaningless sex evolved into a friends-with-benefits situation. You two began spending a lot of time together, both with and without there being sex involved. He started taking you out to places and even to parties with his friends and others around.

But he wasn’t your boyfriend. And every time you attempted to bring it up he'd claimed he “couldn’t be the man you needed.” Despite that, as you grew closer, he eventually learned about your home life. Rafe wasn’t stupid—he knew Pogues had it hard—but he hadn’t realized how much your situation affected you. How you were really a sweet and caring person who had just been hurt by your situation. Once he did learn, he started spending more time with you at his house, claiming, “Look, I know this is just sex, but come on, I can’t have you around that bullshit, ‘kay?”

You didn’t complain—free days at Tannyhill with him were a welcome escape!

Everything was fine until Rafe started treating you like an actual girlfriend. You wanted to be his, but was he really capable? Anyway, it wasn’t what he wanted—he’d made that very clear—so it didn’t matter.

Then, you two got into a bad argument last week. You’d started feeling very dependent on Rafe, and you hated it. So you began to pull back, which only made him care more. One comment led to another, and…

“Rafe, stop. If you’re not my boyfriend, stop acting like you care about me like one.”

“My god! You don’t want me to care about you just ‘cause I don’t wanna be your boyfriend? S’pathetic.”

“Fuck you!” you yelled before storming out.

You hadn’t seen or talked to him since. He was pissed but still wanted to fix things; he just didn’t know how.

That’s when you called.

Your dad had come home drunk, yelling and throwing things. You could no longer bear it. So you called Rafe.

“Hey, I’ll be at yours in like half an hour,” you told him, not waiting for a response.

When you arrived, Wheezie let you in. (She already knew the procedure and wouldn’t snitch,) but she stopped you.

“Hey, you okay? You don’t look okay,” she asked.

You put on your best smile. “Yeah! M’fine! Rafe’s here, right?” She nodded and let you pass.

When you reached Rafe’s room, he was sitting on his bed. His eyes instantly met yours. You climbed onto the bed, inching towards him, and eventually straddled him without saying a word while he stared at you.

“Hi,” you whispered before kissing him.

Rafe, being a man with needs, initially kissed you back. But after sensing something was wrong, he pulled back.

“Nah, nah, you were just over here yelling at me. I’m not mad, okay, but you’re not okay,” he said, concern in his voice.

You frowned as tears welled up in your eyes. “Rafe, m’fine. I’m sorry. You’re forgiven. Please just kiss me. Come on, I just need to forget.”

He kissed you again but stopped when he felt you begin to cry lightly, your breath hitching out of sadness.

“Nah, baby, come on,” he said, pulling you into a hug and holding you tight.

You couldn’t cry in front of him. You couldn’t be so attached to him. It freaked you out, and you tried to push him off.

“Rafe, stop!” you cried, but his grip only tightened.

“What is it? Is it me?” he asked softly, stroking your hair to calm you down. “Your parents?” he whispered.

Finally, you broke down, crying into his chest and wetting his shirt with your tears. Although you had previously confided in him, it had never been like this. He whispered a series of “M’sorrys” as he stroked your hair.

When you finally calmed down, you pulled back and got off him, heading to his mirror to clean yourself up. He stared at you with concern.

“Shit, sorry. Okay, well, m’gonna go now,” you said quickly.

He immediately got up and walked over, towering over you. “The fuck you are. You haven’t told me what’s wrong or why you tried to forget by fucking me.”

“I just needed to forget, okay? No point crying over something I can’t change.”

“Something you can’t change?”

“What?”

“What is the something you can’t change?”

“The situation with my dad and your feelings toward me,” you calmly explained.

“Now, why’d you think fucking was gonna make everything better, huh?” he scolded, switching the topic.

You looked away. “Thought that’s what you wanted.”

“What?”

“I thought you’d no longer be mad at me or wouldn’t care if I was crying if you got to fuck,” you said lightly.

He scoffed in disbelief. “You think that’s the kind of person I am? Baby, I care so much more for you than I’ll ever let on, okay? And this isn’t just sex. You are so much more to me as a person. It’s important to me that you know that, ‘kay?”

You nodded, still waiting for him to respond to your earlier comment.

His face softened. “Look, I wanna be your boyfriend, ‘kay? More than anything, fuck, believe me. But I can’t be the man you deserve. You deserve so much better.”

You scoffed lightly. “But I want you.”

He sighed. “Let me better myself. Then I promise.” He leaned in and kissed your forehead softly. “Stay here tonight, yeah?”

You nodded.

Later that night, as you drifted off to sleep, he kissed your arms, shoulders, and face with gentle affection. “I love you,” he whispered before the both of you fell asleep.

[rhaeheartzsquirrelz]

She’ll be There

Sevika x Female Reader

Headcannons || Angst + Fluff

Cw: Mentions of self-harm (not fully described, I know it can be triggering), self sabotage, and mentions of binge eating disorder. Modern setting. Sevika has both arms (though it doesn’t have anything to do with the plot). Not a lot of in depth details, only because I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable or triggering.

Proofread || Note: It surprised me when I noticed there’s barely any recognition of binge eating disorder. And, so, I decided to write about it. Really sucks that a lot of people don’t even know that it exists. Also, no, I am NOT romanticizing sh and ed, this is just for readers who find comfort in these kinds of fanfics; ones who relate. (Also because I struggle with it.)

Sevika was one of those girlfriends who made you question if you really deserved her. One of those girlfriends that made you so happy that you were sure that all of it was all some sort of dream. She took care of you when you weren’t well. When you needed comfort and support. She was there regardless. You were a priority much greater than anything else, she loved you more than anything else.

But, there was always a sense of guilt that tugged at you whenever she showed affection. It was unfair to her that she had to do so much compared to other couples. It was like being a burden, a broken tool that wouldn’t fix. A tool that had to patched up daily, made sure it didn’t break itself again. You were sure she’d get tired.

But that day never came.

A healthy relationship with food was what you strived for. What you could only try your best for. Not even a few minutes after eating you were hungry again. Well, you weren’t actually hungry. Your stomach was half full and you weren’t needing more. It was just you being bored and eating being a way for you to comfort yourself. It was a coping mechanism that you’d picked up at a young age; and never noticed how horrible it was for you.

Sevika was aware of your problem, of the issues you had with food, and how it was difficult it was for you not to turn to food for distraction.

When you were upset, you’d grab yourself a plate of leftovers. When you were angry, you’d have a bowl of chips in your lap and munch on it. Even when you were happy, you’d make yourself some pasta. And, undoubtedly, your girlfriend was worried with the amount of food you’d eat in such a short amount of time.

Gradually, she decided to do something about it. Convincing you to tag along with her whenever she went out, making plans to go to your favourite bookstore, and even taking you shopping. She tried her hardest to distract you.

Sevika didn’t know much about your eating disorder, but she did her research. Reading books, searching online, and even asking you your struggle.

She’d ask you how you felt about the whole thing. What you thought. How you felt when you didn’t indulge in the urge and it felt after you ate. Your girlfriend had a lot of questions and you did your best at answering them. Some of them were ones you’d never thought of asking yourself, they had you thinking. And you appreciated her efforts in understanding.

Sevika would even cook your favourite food whenever you were genuinely hungry. She’d go on youtube and learn recipes for you, even make desserts so she knew you were full. Most of her attention would be on you, making sure your body was satisfied with your intake.

There was never a time where you felt that your girlfriend was tired of the extra care she gave you. In all honesty, that woman loved all of it. Doing small things for you, like making sure the proportions she prepared for you were perfect, like making sure your plate was full of the essentials; carbs, fibers, fats, all those good things.

And, at first, Sevika thought she’d made progress, made you better. But, on the day she found you in the bathroom with your wrists red was the day she assumed the worse. She thought, maybe, she’d made you feel a sort of way. Thought she’d made it worse. Thought she’d hurt your feelings and had pressured you.

She wrong about all those things.

Your girlfriend blamed herself for everything, as she tended to. You’d reassured her many times that it wasn’t her fault, that it was just the way you were born— also, false.

“Sev, I’m serious. It’s not your fault, it never was. You’re fixing something that can’t be fixed.” You’d say, sat next to her and watching as she only looked away. “Did I make you feel pressured? Or was it just me being obsessed with helping you? Be honest. I can take it.” Obsessed, huh?

“No. The things you’ve done for me are just.. too nice. You’ve helped me, Sevika, not made it worse.” She’d end up furrowing her brows. “So then, why’d you do that? Hurt yourself, I mean.” Her silver eyes would avoid your arms at an attempt to think positively. “I just.. it’s me. I’m a little frustrated at myself, it’s nothing.” Your girlfriend wouldn’t meet your eyes, let alone face you.

“Can you not?” Your tone a little less gentle. “You won’t even look at me.” Only because Sevika didn’t want to stare, make you feel uncomfortable. “All I’m asking is that you don’t look at me any differently. Please?”

It took time and patience for the woman to acknowledge your scars. She thought the subject was too tense, too awkward. But the first time she did, you ended up opening yourself to her. Letting her in on the small details she’d never thought you’d feel.

That was step one. Step two was helping you in other ways. Sevika would give you suggestions, instead of telling you what to do. Give you space and time to think by yourself. Give you advice and even be a source for you to talk about it with. All she wanted was for you to trust her, turn to her, and let her comfort you— instead of you having to look for that in other things.

Over time, Sevika had stopped avoiding confrontation; only when the topic wasn’t sensitive. She’d ask you if you felt any urges, if you’d even tried doing it again. And, slowly, you began saying no. It wasn’t a lie, no, you’d just stopped thinking about it.

And when she noticed that, your girlfriend felt a sense relief she’d never felt before. She was glad she could do something, even if it was just sharing her ideas and being your safe place.

Sevika loved you, she’d made that quite obvious in the way she stuck by your side. Never had she felt frustration, or annoyance towards you for being in the dark place you used to be in. All she felt was the need to keep you out of there, keep you in the light where you were happy and safe.

Your girlfriend would stay with you for hours if you needed her to. If you were crying she’d cry with you. If you needed her attention she’d give it to you at an instant. If you needed her to just hold you she’d do so. She’d open her arms for you, kiss away your pain, and talk away your problems.

All Sevika needed was for you to be alright.

A/N: Pleaseeee please pleaseee! let me know if something I wrote was incorrect or just insensitive, I really don’t want anyone to feel a type of way when they read this; being upset or angry. I tried my hardest to write how I, personally, feel because I know a lot of people might feel the same way— relate. Hopefully I didn’t do anything wrong :(

Please reach out to someone you know and trust if you are feeling stuck and are struggling with an eating disorder or self-harm. I promise you it’ll only get worse without help and support.

[midnight-mourning]

Birds of a Feather

Bit of writing for @divinit3a's cafe prompts! A little one shot set in @crystalmagpie447's winged dca au. Be sure to check both of them, the prompts, and the au out!

That all being said, enjoyed making this, hope you enjoy reading it ^^

Word Count: 1795

Chosen Words: feathers, flight, clouds, hope, restart

"Thank you for visiting Superstar Daycare! We hope you have a Faztastic rest of your day!" Sun says, shutting the door with a sigh.

You glance up from organizing the drawings from today, seeing he's slouched back against the door, defeated. Not that he'd ever admit it, of course. You're almost tempted to go back to your work without another word so to let him keep up his perceived joyous attitude. But, you desire to be a better friend than that. 

Even if he doesn't want you to be. 

You sort another work of art into the pile for next week's feature pieces. "Long day, huh?"

"Oh, not at all, Sunshine!" You hear his rays spin, and peeking up again his posture is ramrod straight again. "Today was wonderful, just like all the others before it! And before that, and before that, and before that..." Back to that chipper tone, as you had expected, but it never hurt to try. 

Something you don't think Sun realized—likely due to not being created with them initially—is that wing's display an array of emotions as much as any other part of one's body language. When nervous, they quiver and flick and shrink in much like his own rays. When happy, they're bursting with life, shifting not dissimilarly to one's own arms. And when angry, well, you think he might have realized that one. 

Whenever you pressed him too hard, asked too many questions, showed too much care, they would puff up, feathers stifled and quick in their movements. 

You never told him these things, which may make you not so good a friend, but you knew if you let him in on the mannerisms he displayed, he'd do everything he could to stop them. 'Correct' them. You know, because when you'd commented on how his rays spun when he got excited, he was down in Parts and Services all but demanding them to fix his problem. Or at least, his concept of a problem. 

So instead, you let out a quiet laugh. "I'm always here to talk, but if you say so, I'll leave it lie."

"Good. Glad that's settled."

With that, he takes a few quick strides over to the craft tables and begins cleaning them up. You sigh, but let it go. It's not your business after all, that much had been made clear to you. 

As clean up goes along—quiet, save for small talk between the two of you, friendly, but nothing more—your thoughts go back to the Attendant once more. Specifically, his wings. 

Always constantly using them, the both of them. You think that despite having them before you arrived even, they were still in a way a new and exciting feature for the two animatronics. Seeing even the smallest of reasons to exercise them. Be it to flit about the room just a little quicker, play with the children, or to do a survey of the daycare—or the entire Plex in Moon's case—just a quick flap of their wings, and it was possible.

You suppose it's something that can't be helped. Though only every so often, in times like this, where you feel just a little more isolated than usual. A little more lonely. That feeling is what had drawn you here in the first place, in a way. Besides the need for a paying job that is. 

A chance for a restart, a fresh start even. When you first saw the Daycare, realized what a, solo existence, the two attendants had, it had gripped at you. Gripped at a particular part of your own being that you recognized. Despite having wings themselves, they're story was similar to yours. Outcasted from society and those around them for things outside their control. 

An inability to take flight, versus an inability to fly elsewhere. Trapped, in every sense of word. The only difference being the cage in use. 

"Penny for your thoughts, Dragonfly?"

You glance up, seeing Moon perched on the piece of the playset above you. You liked to come up here and sit sometimes, sit anywhere up high, just to get a taste for what could have been. 

You'd accepted long ago the way things were, and for the most part it wouldn't haunt you. It wasn't your fault, wasn't something in your control. It just was. There were plenty of others like you, even, and they held no shame, so neither would you. 

But that didn't control the longing that would ensnare you from time to time. 

Back in the present, you scoff at the lunar animatronic. "Knowing you you'd take more than just a penny from me. Probably my entire wallet if you could get by with it, yeah?"

"Perhaps." Moon snickers, faceplate spinning. "You'll never know until you try though."

You laugh, then shake your head. "Figured as much. Hard pass, Moon-man."

"Hm. Care to just share what's on your mind then?" He reaches over and above you to the opposite edge of the playset, essentially laying horizontal above you, gaze focused down on you. "Free of charge."

You consider the offer a moment, then mimic his pose, going from lean back, to laying back perpendicular to him, face covered in the glow of his red eyes. 

"You think it's silly to want something you can't have? That'll always be out of your reach and never within? Something you'll always have on the back of your mind, no matter how hard you try to live your life free of even a thought about it?"

Moon tilts his head. "What a loaded series of questions. I'm a jester, not a sage, you know." He chuckles, and usually you'd join in, maybe roll your eyes or the likes, but your heart's not in it. 

It's something he picks up on immediately, wings behind him fluttering just a tad. But even in the darkness you catch it. 

He puts a hand under his chin in thought. "Well, I suppose if you'd really want to get into it, yes."

You wait. 

Nothing else. 

"What?" He asks. 

You shrug. "Thought you'd share a bit more as to what. You know, be relatable and all that."

Moon chuckles, it takes on a more sinister edge at the end. 

"Not quite. But I'll listen to your plights if you'd like, Nightingale."

"Sometimes, more than anything, I wish I could fly." Your hands fold across your chest. "It's a silly endeavor, I know. But I still want it sometimes."

He must not have been expecting that, eyes widening just a tad. He asks a question you weren't anticipating. "Have you ever been?"

"A few times, when I was small. With my parents. They'd hold me below them and I'd pretend to be gliding all on my own." You close your eyes at the memories, filled with shrieks of laughter and childish glee. You think if they'd known that would be your only time up in the sky, they'd have taken you more often. 

"What was it like?"

You open your eyes. Looking above you to the former naptime attendant turned security bot. His words were soft, holding a tender curiosity you wouldn't have expected.

You furrow your brow. "What do you mean? You know what flying is like."

"The sky." He rasps, and it clicks. All but confirming one of your deepest beliefs then and there. 

You swallow, hiding the utter elation such information gives you, that hope for connection no longer so out of reach. You give it your best shot to provide an accurate, detailed, description. 

"It's colder than you think it would be. When you get high up. But the sun's warmth usually helps with that. The wind feels lovely on your feathers though." Your hand reaches out above you for a moment. "And the clouds, they're wet. Or well, damp. It was quite a shock the first time my dad dragged me through one." 

"What were you expecting?" Moon hums. 

You chuckle. "I don't know, cotton candy, or pillow fluff, or something like that. I was only like four." Your hand drops back down. "It was a long time ago."

Moon stays quiet. You continue. 

"And my first night flight. What a time. You always think if you could a little higher you'll reach the stars. Or at least that's what I thought, begging my mom to just 'go a little higher, just a little more'. She didn't always oblige me, but when she did, god, the buildings, the cities, the world, all of it felt so small." You shake your head. "And quiet. So, so quiet."

"Was that it then? The last time you were up there?" 

Another head shake. "No. I think I was maybe seven or eight before I got too heavy to lug around." 

Silence again, you think to look up to him again, gaze having become unfocused in your reminiscing. 

He's also somewhere else it seems, faceplate twisting back and forth, optics just a tinge dim. He comes out of it when he notices your stare. 

"I'll take you sometime." He states, nodding once.

"What?"

Another nod. "Into the sky. I'll take you there. You hardly weigh a thing to me."

"First of all, rude. Second of all... why?" You're a bit in disbelief. 

He shrugs. "Why not?"

Moon sits up then, back to his original position and you do the same. 

"Because that's a big thing to offer!" 

"Not offer." He pokes your forehead, eyes crinkling. "Promise."

You bluster. "Even worse!" 

You don't get to pester him further about it, as he flips back over the edge of the playset, landing right as the lights come back on. Sun looks up to you as you peer over the edge of the playset. He tilts his head at you. 

"What's with that look, Busybee?"

"I'm gonna get you out of here one day." You blurt. 

He freezes. "What?"

"I, if, if you want, I mean." You fumble to recover. "If you ever decide you want to leave. If you ever want to get out just for a moment, I'll help you. I promise."

Sun's rays twist, otherwise motionless, even as you take the nearest slide and walk over to him. 

Worried, you reach out for him. "Sun—"

Springing to life again, acting as if nothing happened. "So sorry, Sunshine! It seems I had a bit of a lapse there, won't happen again!"

"Oh. Gotcha. Okay." You turn around to get back to work, your short break now over, when his hand rests on your shoulder. 

You look up, Sun's eyes crinkle as his rays spin. 

"I hope one day I'll be able to take you up on that promise, and return it in kind."

You smile lightly, and nod. "Yeah. Me too."

And there we go! Hope i did the prompt and the au justice! Both were fun to work with. Excited to share more art and writing as the month goes on hehe

Tag list (if you would like added, see this post for more info, you can also dm me!):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8 @luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @milosmantis @robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva @juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml @divinit3a @amarynthian-chronicles @crystalfay

[ridox]

A Theory on Caleb and MC’s dynamics —

Now that our beloved Pilot is back from the dead with a new preview I have several theories regarding his and MC’s past involving Ever

(I’m also back with theorizing this year now that we’re finally getting main story progression and updates!)

All theories under cut! 🦾

What struck me the most about the preview was the line “They are the optimal weapon for destroying one another.”

Alongside the information we got that Caleb’s EVOL is classified as gravitational combat.

We already know that Grandma was a former researcher for EVER that adopted both Caleb and MC after the experimentations done to them. Whether it was green lighted by EVER or not is not entirely sure yet but we could infer that EVER didn’t mind so long as MC was with Caleb and Grandma (more so Caleb). Why?

I think Caleb was sculpted by EVER to be MC’s demise if her EVOL goes out of control. He was made as a Plan B if their efforts to suppress her EVOL did not work.

MC is essentially carrying the power of a planet’s core inside of her (re: see Xavier’s myth regarding MC and her role in saving Philos). EVER wanted to make sure that if things ever go south they would have an asset behind them that could take out the threat.

And the closest asset they have to her is Caleb himself. Too much gravitational pull could make a planet collapse in on itself. MC’s Anhaunsen Class EVOL could be the push that Caleb’s EVOL needs to trigger that. Except he doesn’t want to kill MC, he’s grown to attached to her and have been keeping her in the dark when it comes to his space missions as a feeble attempt to save her.

EVER has had their eyes on MC since she was a child, but she didn’t became a liability until the supposed guardians the company assigned to her mysteriously died. But we now know that Caleb isn’t actually dead.

Of course, it only makes sense that EVER is going to save him. He’s their only weapon against MC should she decide to awake her full power and wage a war against them. Caleb is the only LI linking them to her because all the other LI’s have grudges against EVER.

Case in point:

- Xavier doesn’t trust Ever for experimenting on Wanderers. It’s also been suggested that former backtrackers who formed a grudge against their prince for ‘abandoning them’ has made it known that they’re also out of MC and possibly even started working with the company to annihilate her.

- Zayne doesn’t trust Ever for their involvement in practicing dubious medicine involving protocores. One of his specialties as a doctor is dealing with symptoms of protocore syndrome and from his branch we were able to see just how much distrust and disdain he has for these people.

- Rafayel’s involvement is hazy but possible that he has some inkling of a doubt about the experiments Ever has been doing behind closed doors. He’s a possible asset to them after all if they get him. Former God of the Sea and one of the few remaining Lemurians alive today. We also know he made a deal with a representative of Ever during the auctions so there’s no doubt he actually knows their shady business on the side.

But this is where it gets interesting for me!

Sylus has direct contact with Ever in the N109 Zone and he has all the reason to involve himself in their business after they involved him in theirs. We know Sylus was gone for an unnamed amount of time and within that timespan the two explosions had happened. They pinned it on Onychinus afterwards to take advantage of Sylus’ missing status.

It also just make sense that once he got a wind of it, he’s going to investigate what really happened. Sherman was most likely bought off by Ever to do their dirty work in the N109 Zone and possibly to kidnap MC once they got wind that she’ll be at the auction. I feel like through those series of events Sylus was able to find out that Caleb was in fact still alive and has been tasked to get MC back to Ever’s hands.

Alas! These are all merely theories. I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts. I’m so excited for the Main Story Update more than anything.

[hailturinturambar]

Elrond's trajectory in The Rings of Power

This analysis, unlike the others, does not seek to understand a dynamic between two characters. But rather to understand who Elrond Peredhel is and what made him the character we know over the course of two seasons.

To understand who Elrond is and why he acted as he did, we need to go back in time and analyze this character's life. The answers, in general, always lie in the past.

Elrond was born a half-elven son of Elwing, who is the daughter of Dior, who is the son of Lúthien. He was also the son of Eärendil, who is the son of Tuor, who is the son of Huor.

In some narratives, Elrond was born an only child, in others he had a twin brother, Elros. I will analyze through the narrative with Elros, since Elros was important for great future events in Middle-earth.

Elrond's legacy was born of pain and grief. His father, Eärendil, left with his parents (Tuor and Idril) as a child in search of a safe haven. Tuor and Idril fled with the survivors of the Fall of Gondolin.

It is at this time that Eärendil and Elwing's paths cross, as she is fleeing after the destruction of her father and kin at the hands of the Sons of Fëanor. And Elwing had a one of the Silmarils, won by his grandfather, Beren.

When Fëanor's sons destroyed Elrond's home, and his parents were separated from the twins, Elros and Elrond were left alone in the world. However, after growing tired of all the harm they had caused and the weight of their oath, Maedhros and Maglor took the twins in and cared for them.

When the Valar listened to Eärendil and went to war against Morgoth, the Elves were allowed to return to Valinor. Maglor and Maedhros, succumbing to the weight of their oath, met tragic ends, and Elrond and Elros were left alone once more.

But as a reward for the help of Men, and for the half-elven nature of the boys, they were given a choice. Elros, who went with the Men and was numbered among them, went to Númenor and became the first king. Elrond, chose his Elven half and remained in Middle-earth.

To me, this must have been one of Elrond's greatest sorrows. Because he lost his mother, he lost his father. Then he lost the two elves who had cared for him and his brother. And in the end, all he had left was Elros, and he lost him too. Knowing that he would remain in Arda, while his brother would perish.

Thus ends Elrond's days in the First Age. In the Second Age, which we are introduced to in The Rings of Power, we have Elrond much changed, older and even wiser.

Elrond then lives in Lindon, the kingdom of the High Elves, under the command of Gil-galad. Elrond is the king's herald and responsible for the speech in honor of the great heroes who spent centuries hunting Sauron, and one of these is Galadriel, his closest and oldest friend.

Elrond is descended from kings in both his lines, being related to Thingol on his mother's side and to Turgon on his father's side. But his descent does not seem to matter, which makes sense when Elrond lost all his relatives and was left alone, less than a royal heir, more than an outcast.

Elrond is stripped of titles, which is remarkable when he cannot be present at the council, because it is only for Elven Lords. But Galadriel is there and it does not bother him so much. But, I believe deep down, Galadriel's vision worried him.

Galadriel is his beloved friend and he has not seen her for many centuries, but she is very changed. I believe that Elrond feared deeply for her.

Because he knows the shadow that surrounds her, the shadow of an oath made in love, for someone who has been lost. And how much that oath can cost. How much oaths like that have cost Elrond and his family.

In his attempt to help Galadriel, to ease her burden, he pushes her away, and when Elrond can no longer glimpse Galadriel heading towards Valinor, did he feel he was once again left alone in Middle-earth? Probably. Did he feel that the last person he had left had been separated from him for countless years?

Elrond then turns his attention to Celebrimbor, whom the King of Lindon has asked him to help. Elrond readily accepts, this task is a great honor and he accepts it with pride. Elrond has always admired Celebrimbor and he will prove that he is grateful.

Elrond has always admired Celebrimbor's achievements, but to him it is an honor to be able to work with the greatest of the Elven smiths. And Celebrimbor gently reminds him of his father.

And I believe that in that moment, like Galadriel looking upon Finrod, Elrond took it upon himself to protect Celebrimbor and fulfill his father's promise.

Elrond and Celebrimbor cannot build a new forge alone, not in such a short time. And Elrond remembered his great friend, Prince Durin. However, Elrond as an Elf, did not notice the passing of time as Durin. And Durin is heartbroken by Elrond's absence. As Durin says, he lived a whole life in the time Elrond was away.

I believe this is the first moment Elrond realizes how his elven side blinds him to the brevity of life. Elrond spent his entire life surrounded by Elves, eternal beings who would never die except by enemy spear or grief.

Elrond wants to make up for his mistake and assures Durin that it will be different this time. And he means it. Is this the moment when Elrond realizes he is not alone? Galadriel is gone, but he still has friends. He still has Durin. And he also has Disa and Celebrimbor now.

When Sauron spoke about Mirdania remind him of Galadriel, I remembered Celebrimbor noticing the resemblance between Elrond and his father. It's a powerful scene, very beautiful, in my opinion. But a very painful scene too. Because Elrond carries the grief of the loss of his parents, and it's obvious in his personality.

Does Elrond wear clothes that resemble bird wings, like his mother's wings? Elrond, it is important to remember, has a daughter, Arwen Undómiel, the Evenstar. The traces of his longing are there, present in everything that represents Elrond. Even in loss, he carries them with him.

So, I believe it was not easy for Elrond to accept Celebrimbor's request. To distrust Durin, to spy on Durin? It is a difficult task. Durin is his last friend and Elrond did not know that by helping Gil-galad, he could be compromising their friendship. Although he is Gil-galad's herald and his subject, Elrond promises to keep Durin's secrets.

But Durin III does not care about Elrond's promises, and Elrond fears that father and son will never understand each other. Elrond does not want Durin to feel what he felt when he lost his father.

Elrond's words about his father are painfully beautiful. And it is the moment of greatest clarification of the character's attitudes to the audience. Because Elrond was shaped by the loss of his parents, his adoptive parents, his brother, Galadriel, so many important people.

And he lives with this motto in his heart, to be good, to be pure, to be worthy of the love and respect of those who have passed away and who perhaps watch him from a distance.

Elrond presents Gil-galad's proposal to Durin and the prince accompanies him to Lindon. But it is not easy for Elrond, being forced to be the spokesman between the two sides, feeling that he is betraying his friend, as well as his kind.

It is a great weight placed on Elrond's shoulders by Gil-galad and Celebrimbor. Must Elrond betray who he is to save his people? Elrond understands the weight of the oath, as his protectors have felt for countless centuries. Because it is not always possible to keep an oath.

Fearing the destruction of the Elves not only of Lindon, but of all Middle-earth, Elrond must swallow everything he believes, everything he has promised and agrees to ask for Durin's help. I believe that Durin knew that Elrond never had bad intentions, and understands the dilemma of his Elf friend.

Elrond sets off for Khazad-dûm with Durin. Durin, like Elrond, needs to honor his oath. An oath that is not always easy, that is not always possible. One of the things I like most about Tolkien/TROP is how sacrifice is always a point, it is always something we do for those we love.

One of the obstacles in Elrond's journey is King Durin III. Durin III is cold and harsh at times, but he is a wise king and is trying to protect his people, fearing that the Elves will take advantage of his people and their resources.

As I see it, when Elrond gets down on his knees and announces his mixed race, Elf and Man, he has never been more like his father. Like his father who in Valinor spoke for the Two Kinds, Elrond does so now. For if the Elves depart from Middle-earth, all will be at risk.

Durin IV helps Elrond as much as he can, but his father and king does not allow Elrond to return and banishes him from all the Dwarves Mountains. When Elrond cries, holding the Mithril, we see how love and friendship are present in his heart.

Did Elrond remember of Maedhros and Maglor? That in the end, they fought for him and Elros, as far as they could bear? It's sad. Elrond's journey is marked by so much suffering and abandonment.

He has no choice but to return to Eregion and warn Celebrimbor. There is nothing the Elves can do and it is time to go home, back to the Realm of Light, where pain and suffering do not exist.

Everything changes for Elrond with the arrival of Galadriel. It is like an explosion of emotions. He has just been forbidden to be with Durin, but his friend has returned to him. He is no longer alone. And Elrond feels a lot of guilt for sending Galadriel away, even though he believed that this could have protected his friend.

Galadriel and Elrond try to find solutions with Celebrimbor, but Galadriel is not alone, she has come accompanied by Halbrand. Elrond had no prejudice against Men, he himself was part Man. Something, however, about Halbrand, never felt right to him.

At this point, Elrond's journey comes to a major halt. In his quest to save the Elves of Middle-earth, they have attracted Evil that should never have returned.

It was undoubtedly difficult for Elrond to realize that despite Halbrand's suspicious influence and intentions in the Rings, Galadriel persisted. This breaks something very fragile in Elrond, shakes his already fragile trust in others.

We're getting into dangerous territory now! I know many were angry with Elrond in season two and how he treated Galadriel. Elrond, however, wasn't being punitive, jury and executioner, his actions are completely understandable.

Elrond sets out for Lindon with the Rings in a desperate attempt to get Gil-galad to listen to him, to understand his fears. And he does, for a time. Galadriel and Gil-galad may despise Sauron, but they are both desperate for a solution, for a cure so they won't have to abandon Middle-earth.

Gil-galad desires the Rings and Elrond is once again alone. Like Galadriel in the first season while hunting Sauron. It's not easy being the last soldier standing. The only one fighting a losing battle.

It pains Elrond that Gil-galad would risk, in his desperation, accepting something that may have been influenced by Sauron. And it pains him even more that of all the Elves, Galadriel, who has suffered so much and fought so hard, should fall for Sauron's trick.

Círdan is his last hope. Another fleeting hope. Círdan, at least, understands Elrond's fear and the risk of the Rings. To Elrond, the Rings of Power are no different than the Silmarils. Objects of beauty and power that have cost many lives.

Elrond did not hesitate out of spite for Galadriel. But as someone who has suffered so much under the influence of the Silmarils, he understands the staggering risk they are all taking. Like his mother, Elwing, Elrond’s leap is one of desperation, of sacrifice.

Now the Rings are in Lindon and Elrond tries one last time to protect Galadriel. Yes, the Rings worked and their beauty enchants everyone, even Elrond.

This, however, does not make the Rings any less dangerous. The disappointment on Elrond's face is noticeable when he realizes that Galadriel succumbed so easily to the desire to wear the ring.

It is undoubtedly difficult for Elrond to remain in Lindon. The Elves are happy, the Rings have worked, and they are safe. This is not enough to assuage Elrond's fears. And given all he has been through, it is to be expected that he would feel this way.

Elrond remains firm in his beliefs, even though he is suffering from his separation from Galadriel. But Elrond was so young when he lost his parents because of the Silmarils, why would the Rings be any different?

I believe he did not want what happened to all those who touched the Silmarils to happen to his friends. But Elrond cannot forgive Galadriel, he cannot accept what she is asking. For him, if she accepted the Ring, she is accepting Sauron's influence.

Only Cirdan can convince Elrond and he does. He believes in Elrond and understands his fear, but asks him to understand that the Rings can and should be used for good, and that is why Sauron cannot touch them. Is it Cirdan's words that influence Elrond to leave with the retinue? I believe so.

The best way to define the relationship between Elrond and Galadriel in the next episodes is, as they say in my country, "A tail-puller." (it sounds better in my language) Which talks about two difficult people who are constantly at war, but never move away from each other.

In episode four, they are like two contrasting forces. Elrond has agreed to leave with the retinue only because he wants to protect Celebrimbor and end Sauron's rule. His motives and Galadriel's may be the same, but their motivations are not.

Elrond is firm with Galadriel, not giving in to her tempestuous and proud ways. She has agreed to be there, so she needs to take Elrond's advice. Since Elrond will not follow the Ring's advice.

And is he completely wrong? We, the viewers, understand that the ring is not compromised. That vision does not exist for the characters. And trusting in a Magic Ring is not trustworthy. Let's look at what happened to the Dwarves, to the Men. The fear of Elrond is equal to the fear of Durin.

Evil was in the forest, Elrond was warned. Who has never made a mistake by not listening to advice? Listening to the Ring's advice, for Elrond, would be like listening to the Silmaril's advice. It is a dangerous path that he does not wish to follow.

A choice that caused the loss of an Elf. However, in the fight against Sauron and the forces of Adar, it is as Galadriel said, many difficult losses would occur. It is clear that Elrond wants to listen to Galadriel, that he wants to trust her words.

He feels that she is being influenced by the Ring, and this impairs her judgment, or vice versa. No one can be completely correct in this story. Let us remember that Elrond is deeply hurt.

Did Galadriel sacrifice herself for the ring? For her friends? Both answers are possible, together or separately. They vary depending on how much you like the characters. What matters to me, however, here, is what Elrond felt. And he is so hurt that he prefers to believe that Galadriel sacrificed herself only for the ring and nothing more.

Even the lives of the Elves are about growing, maturing, and learning. Elrond is learning slowly. As Círdan said, they do not yet understand the Rings. It is to be expected that not everyone will agree at once.

But Galadriel's sacrifice, no matter how Elrond interpreted it, changed something in him. Elrond runs to Lindon and warns Gil-galad. Yes, Galadriel was right, and they need to send all their soldiers to Eregion. I think a lot about Elrond's words, when he talks about how the loss of Eregion would affect everyone.

Did he think of Doriath, of Gondolin? That is in his legacy. He cannot bear the loss of yet another great Elven kingdom to one of the Dark Lords.

It is time for Elrond to set out for the Dwarven Kingdom and seek help. Elrond, ever the herald of the Two Kinds, speaking for the Two Kinds.

Elrond once again sets out for Khazad-dûm. He knows that the Elves will be defeated without the help of the Dwarves. Elrond, like his father, has always known that one people alone cannot defeat such a powerful enemy. Only united are they strong enough.

Leaving with Durin's promise, Elrond returns to Lindon to fight on behalf of all Elves. He is determined, he will protect his people. Galadriel is his weak point. His friend is in the hands of Adar and he blames himself for this.

Elrond and Galadriel tend to say goodbye in moments of great intrigue. Seeing Galadriel in the hands of the enemy undoubtedly hurt him, he himself was once in the hands of the enemy, he was on the side of the hostages, he was a hostage.

Adar is as big a threat as Sauron. Sauron may be forging Rings to enslave Middle-earth, but it is Adar who is in Eregion with his Uruks destroying the Elven kingdom.

And Elrond needs to be strong once again. Elrond faces Adar, even though Adar disregards Elrond's ability as a warrior. Yes, Elrond lived behind countless books, but he always knew war, always understood it and faced it.

I'm going to get into another dangerous area and some of you will hate me (well, but analysis is how I interpret the show, so…) I consider Elrond and Galadriel's kiss very important and necessary.

I ship Galadriel and Celeborn, yes, I said that. But Celeborn is not here at the moment, I am talking about Elrond.

The kiss is a subtle and effective strategy that allows Galadriel to escape. However, I also see the kiss as a way for Elrond to show his love and affection for Galadriel, how he is regretting, how he blames himself for her being there, how he wishes things had been different and they could be at peace.

And perhaps it was also a farewell kiss. It is, after all, a war. Is it hard for Elrond to turn his back on Galadriel, to leave her alone in Adar's tent, to run away alone? I bet it is.

Elrond is back on the battlefield. It is a hard, ugly, cruel fight. Many lives are lost, Elrond is forced to watch his friends and companions perish in a cruel way at the hands of the Orcs. At the hands of his enemies. It is painful, it is always painful.

The final stab is Durin's delay. Did Elrond feel abandoned? In all the chaos, he cannot assimilate everything that was happening around him.

All he knows is that Durin is not there and they must fight. And here is Adar, taking Nenya from Elrond. The world is made of hope, but not for Elrond.

Loss is an interesting thing to interpret. Elrond lost many things, many people, during much of his life. It is no different now, with Eregion destroyed, with Celebrimbor dead. But the cruelest loss is memory.

What remains. It is devastating to Elrond that all the documents, the scrolls, all the memories of all those who lived in Eregion, who wrote down its teachings, were lost.

Why not just lose, but also lose memory? It is too much for anyone. All the knowledge of a people lost, forever. Which is a long time for an Elf.

Durin's arrival is a small comfort, until Elrond discovers that it is not Durin. The last of the Elves are being rescued, but to where? Eregion has fallen, there is nothing left for them, not there. Not in many places in Middle-earth.

Elrond is at a crossroads. Galadriel is dying, the darkness is too strong. Is it up to him to trust the Ring, to go against all his principles? In my opinion, this is the key point about Elrond's evolution in the second season.

Elrond was greater than his fear, greater than his fears, because it was better to risk using a Ring controlled by Sauron (whom he feared, obviously) than to lose Galadriel. After so many losses, it is easy to choose his friend over his fear.

The scene in which Elrond contemplates Eregion, once an imposing, majestic kingdom, completely in ruins is very sad. An entire kingdom destroyed by the desires of Sauron and Adar, so many lives, so much knowledge, lost for power.

As when the people of Gondolin fell, and the people of Doriath fell, Elrond had to start over. As when his parents fell, and ruin came to his people, he must start over. Ever forward, in search of better days. When everything is broken, we can only start over and move forward.

It is nice to see Elrond's last scene, where he holds Nenya without fear, without distrust (something that will be beautiful to see in the future, since he will also be a protector of the rings) and trusting Galadriel once again.

They are both at peace now. The surviving people of Eregion are at peace, as much peace as can be. The light is shining and a new day has dawned, for all of them, especially for Elrond, who in the Third Age will be one of the few to represent a light in the darkness of Middle-earth.

I really like the way Elrond is built in the show. It's great to watch and follow the growth of this incredible character, who is by far one of my favorites. I can't wait to see what his journey will be like in the upcoming seasons.

Don't forget that you all voted and the next analyses will also be about trajectories. (First Míriel, then Sauron.)

Tomorrow is my birthday, so I'm posting the analysis today! :)

[serahadmoni]

A Case for Bodhi Durran

Criminally under used and oft-sidelined, Bodhi Durran deserves…more. More attention. More consideration. More love. While plenty of fanon exists surrounding his character - including presuppositions of what his life was like before the apostasy, what his dreams for the future were before the Rider’s Quadrant -  for this commentary I will try to focus primarily on the text and evidentiary proof of his virtues. So, let's talk about how Bodhi Durran...

Is Loyal

“When you have a hundred and seven scars on your back, then you get to make the fucking decisions, Ciaran,” Bodhi snarls

I feel like all the Marked Ones who populate Xaden's inner circle have loyalty written indelibly on their hearts - loyalty to not only Tyrrendor, but specifically to Xaden. They understand the sacrifice he made then and the sacrifices he continues to make for them. Even when being loyal to Xaden means hauling dead bodies out of his not-girlfriend’s room at two in the morning. Or making clandestine smuggling runs . Or continuing to manage the operation in Xaden’s absence when the Navarrian leadership has begun to catch wise. Or when you take pains to ensure he’s left to his grief on the anniversary of his father’s death. Even when they sometimes butt heads over specifics, Bodhi ultimately defers to Xaden, because he…

Is Dutiful

[Xaden] dips his chin toward our wing, and two riders—Garrick and Bodhi—break formation, then climb the steps to stand behind Xaden, their hands at their sides.  “As it was a matter of life and death, I personally executed six of the would-be murderers, as witnessed by Flame Section Leader Garrick Tavis and Tail Section Executive Officer Bodhi Durran.

Again, all the Marked Ones display this quality in spades. Even if they don’t always agree with the methods Xaden uses, they will forever carry out their duty, his orders. Liam represents the ultimate expression of this quality, but the way Bodhi protects Violet in Xaden’s absence, even going so far as to risk his own reputation and command by constantly moving flight maneuvers to protect her is an undeniable expression of his sense of duty.

“You saved every single one of us here, cousin,” Bodhi says. “And we’re thankful. Now, I’d like to do what we’ve trained for, and if it means I don’t go home, then I guess my soul will be commended to Malek. I wouldn’t mind seeing my mother anyway.”

This speaks for itself. Both in the language of duty and loyalty, which only serves to accentuate the fact Bodhi…

Is Supportive

“You’re our best fighter,” a second-year near Xaden counters with a quick grin.

Though he and Garrick (and Violet) share in this responsibility to some extent, I still think in a lot of ways Bodhi is Xaden’s ultimate hype man. Mostly because he understands Xaden so deeply and as such is well aware how much Xaden needs it sometimes. He’s present for Xaden in difficulty. Willing to advocate for him, stand up for him even against the other Marked Ones as he does after Resson.

Bodhi grins, flashing a smile that looks exactly like my aunt’s used to. “Good to see you up and about, Sorrengail.” Then he smacks me on the shoulder as he walks off, looking back over his shoulder. “I’ll fetch the backup plan. Good luck.”

But it’s not just Xaden he supports…

When the Assembly wants nothing more than to toss Violet in a cell, he lends his voice to the arguments for her loyalty, her integrity: 

She fought at our side at Resson.” Bodhi tenses as his voice rises as well.

AND

In another, quieter moment, which speaks not only to his naturally supportive nature but also how well he can read others needs: 

“It’s a lost magic,” Bodhi says softly, appearing at my side. He rubs his thumb over his newly mended, scarless palm. “Maybe there’s a reason this stone never worked. It might be broken.”

He can tell how thoroughly the failed attempt at raising the wards shatters Violet’s self-confidence and even though he doesn’t know her as well as Xaden, he understands she needs reassurance, offering it freely. He also supports Violet in her burnout and when she’s crazed after hearing Xaden was injured. 

Bodhi Durran is a man who desperately wants everyone to be okay. Actively. Daily. Trying to not only keep everyone alive, but sane and grounded, because Bodhi…

Is Brilliant

The distraction Bodhi engineered in the flight field bought us time to meet without teachers noticing, but not much, especially considering that Devera, Kaori, Carr, and Emetterio are among those on campus still.

Personally, I would love to know what he threw together with zero notice that managed to keep the instructors busy long enough for Dain to call the quadrant to formation and Xaden (coughVioletcough) to issue his invitation. My guess, there were explosives of some sort involved.

Also, when they are climbing the Cliffs of Dralor with the fliers and the wyvern attack, he puts together what it means that the wyvern felt the pulse of the Aretian hatching grounds being reactivated before pretty much anyone else. He understands the wyvern will have relayed to their masters that the fliers and Aretian riders joined forces and the implications of such a report.

“I… uh… think we’re going to have to make some modifications on that harness,” Bodhi remarks as Andarna struggles to maintain her balance. “That’s going to take a few hours.”

Without drifting into the land of fanon, it’s hard to elaborate on this point except to highlight that Bodhi has the skills and know-how to modify an elaborately designed one-of-a-kind dragon harness. Were I to drift into fanon, I would shout from the rooftops that he’s the engineer of the group - the one that made sure Violet’s daggers would work for her, who consulted with Xaden on the prototype and modifications to Violet’s saddle, who also helped design and proof Andarna’s harness. Where Xaden may be the ideas-man in these areas, Bodhi executes. He’s the one who fixes their pocket watches when they won’t keep time or helps troubleshoot why the damn trigger on that crossbow sticks when any of the Marked Ones can’t figure it out for themselves. Ultimately, Bodhi wants to help in a tangible way because he...

Is Protective

In this, I feel it’s best to just let Bodhi speak for himself. 

When Varrish confronts Violet on the flight field before her first trip to Samara.

“You may leave, Cadet Durran,” Varrish says.  Bodhi moves closer to my side, and the male lieutenant takes a step closer as well, the mage lights catching the signet patch—fire wielding—on his uniform. “As Cadet Sorrengail’s section leader, I am the next in her chain of command. And as Article Four, Section Two of the Codex states, her discipline falls to her chain of command before being brought to cadre. I would be negligent in my duty were I to leave her in potential possession of… whatever it is you’re looking for.”

When Varrish pushes Violet to near burnout.

Bodhi’s warm brown face appears in front of mine. “Fuck.” He tugs the edges of the blanket closed around me. “This is because of Andarna?”  “Yes.”  Bodhi’s eyes widen. … “I’ll handle it,” Bodhi promises, capturing my gaze. “This won’t happen to you again.”

When Dain Aetos calls Violet to the mat because he’s pissed off that she won’t talk to him.

“You shouldn’t do this!” Bodhi shouts as he runs at us, skidding to a stop next to me. Imogen isn’t far behind. Ah, she’d run to find the closest person to Xaden possible. Makes sense. “She’s in a fucking sling, Aetos.”  “Last time I checked, you’re a section leader.” Dain narrows his eyes on Bodhi. “And your cousin isn’t her wingleader anymore. I am.”  The muscles in Bodhi’s neck bulge. “Xaden’s going to fucking kill him,” he whispers.

There are plenty of other instances where he protects others. Notably, when he steps in front of Carr to counter his signet as they are leaving Basgiath. And I’m certain there are hundreds of instances we don’t see since we are in Violet’s POV through the series. None of which detracts from the fact that Bodhi…

Is Principled

At the beginning of Fourth Wing, upon returning from a standard weapons run, he pushes Xaden and Garrick both, insisting: 

“There has to be something more we can do,” Bodhi argues, looking to Xaden, his voice low…

And then again at the end of the book, when the cadets are faced with a decision to fight alongside the fliers to save the Pormoish civilians or flee for Eltuval, he’s the first to insist they help. Even coming into conflict with Xaden’s more measured approach to the impossible dilemma Col. Aetos has enforced upon them. 

“How many people live in Resson?” Bodhi asks.  “More than three hundred,” Imogen answers as another boom cracks through the valley. “That’s the post they do the yearly trades at.”  “Then let’s get down there.” Bodhi turns and Xaden steps back, blocking his path with an outstretched hand. “You’re kidding me, right?”  “We have no idea what we’re walking into.” Xaden’s tone reminds me of that first day after Parapet. He’s in full command mode.  “So we should just stand here while civilians die?” Bodhi questions, and I tense. We all do, watching Xaden. 

As much as I love Xaden, and I do. I believe equipping the drifts with weapons is a means to an end for him. They are the thin, brown and feathered line between the venin and Tyrrendor. He wants to continue helping them, but I don’t believe - other than from an abstract “we don’t condemn innocents to death” perspective - he’s overly concerned with the preservation of individual Poromish lives. Bodhi, for better or worse, appears to be invested in the preservation of life in general. A grounded, guiding principle that thankfully he values because Bodhi…

Is Powerful

He sighs. “Yeah. Second time someone tried to jump me in the bathing chamber this week.”  My eyes widen as my heart hammers in my chest. “Are you okay?”  He has the gall to grin. “I completely eviscerated some asshole out of Second Wing while naked and only got a bruise. I’m fine.” 

I mean, besides the litany of weapons certification patches Violet observes early in Fourth Wing, Bodhi is just as skilled in unarmed hand-to-hand. While he’s never described as “on-par” with Xaden (since Xaden spars with Garrick almost exclusively unless he’s trying to make a point), Bodhi clearly knows how to handle himself. In the buff. With no weapons. And accruing no serious injuries. 

Which doesn’t even touch his signet…

“What have you done?” Carr shouts, running for us, his wispy hair flying in all directions as he lifts his hands. “You’ll end us all, over who? People you’ve never met? I won’t allow it!”  “Bodhi!” Xaden orders as Carr reaches Third Wing. Fire erupts from Carr’s hands, streaming toward the dais, and my stomach drops. Time seems to slow as Bodhi steps forward and twists his hand like he’s turning a dial. The fire dies, extinguishing like it was never there and leaving Carr staring at his hands.  “You taught us well, Professor,” Bodhi says, holding his hand in place. “Maybe a little too well.”  Damn.  “He can counter signets,” Xaden tells me.  Well, that’s fucking terrifying.

And though people have questioned Brennan's assessment: 

“By our best calculations,” Brennan says, rubbing his hands together to keep warm, “the six most powerful riders currently in Aretia are Xaden, Felix, Suri, Bodhi, Violet, and me.”

When you consider the potential of his signet…

Yes, he extinguishes Carr’s flames without blinking. But he can also smother Xaden’s shadows. Dispel Violet’s lightning. Destroy Mira’s wards. Keep Brennan from mending. He could have calmed Lilith’s storms. And while it seems like largely a defensive signet, there are offensive elements to it as well. Such as - and I’m not saying this would happen - he could remain completely invisible to Melgren, even without the benefit of three other Marked Ones. If such a thing were in the cards, he would be able to easily assassinate Melgren, undetected. 

And that’s if we don’t consider what, if any, mind signets he can counter. Can he reverse Imogen’s memory wipe? Or merely prevent her from performing one? Can he fool a truthsayer by offering them nothing to read? Based on the text, it appears Xaden is unable to read his intentions. Which would imply he’s impervious to not only inntinsics, but memory readers and erasers, truthsayers, etc. 

Considering we don’t know precisely how his signet works, it’s difficult to say for certain where the boundaries lie. Is it only as Xaden says, “He can counter signets?” Or is he interrupting the channel between dragon and rider entirely?  Which would have far more wide-reaching implications since he could theoretically also break the channel between gryphons and their fliers as well as venin and the earth.

Just like we really don’t have all the information about Violet’s “pure power” signet, we don’t have nearly enough hard information about Bodhi’s to say for certain where the potential expression of it may end.

Despite his physical and magical prowess, though, Bodhi…

Is Pragmatic

“I liked it better when we just delivered the weapons,” Bodhi mutters.

As principled, honorable, loyal, and dutiful as he is…same. He wants to help, but it’s hard. And dangerous. And running weapons is easier. I don’t blame him at all. 

His pragmatism is reflected in the text a hundred different ways, but it’s also simply stated by both him and Violet. 

“And I thought you were the most reasonable of the group.” I sigh. “Look, if I can help, then maybe we can prevent what I’m assuming are… supply runs.” Talking in code is ridiculous, but anyone could be listening. “Give me a job.”  “Oh, I am the most reasonable in the group.” He flashes a grin, leaning back on his heels. “I also don’t have a death wish. Survive second year and strengthen your shields, Sorrengail. That’s your job.” 

He is a man who gets things done. Which is not to say he’s not in touch with his emotions. But he understands the balance between necessity and diplomacy. Not that he’s a staid, stoic mission only guy either, because Bodhi…

Is Quick-Witted

“Hey, I hate to interrupt what’s obviously a moment,” Bodhi whispers loudly from my left. “But that was the last bell, so that’s our cue to get this nightmare started.”

AND

Bodhi wrinkles his nose.  “What?”  “You smell like dragon ass.”  “Fuck off.” I chance a whiff and can’t argue.  “I’m using your room.”  “I would consider it a personal favor.” I extend my middle finger and head toward his room.

Much as I appreciate and adore Bodhi’s quick wit, I could also write volumes about how his dry, sarcastic sense of humor operates as a defense mechanism. A lens through which he can deal with the intensity of his circumstances and the impact of these weighty decisions they are all making.

Like Xaden himself says, Bodhi always lightens the mood. To help himself deal? Yes. But (like Ridoc) also because he can tell everyone desperately needs it, a virtue that serves him well because he…

Is A Leader

”Shouldn’t you all be in Battle Brief?” Bodhi asks, his voice booming as he comes up behind us. One look sends the other squads scurrying for the door. 

Though a lot of space on the page has been given to Xaden, Rhiannon, and Violet’s obvious leadership qualities, Bodhi sprang from the same genetic line as Xaden. While the expression of the Riorson magnetism may be tempered by his natural demeanor, he possesses the same it-factor as Fen. Were I to lay bets, I expect his mother was similarly charismatic and it was expressed in her much the way it is in Bodhi.

“…Flame Section has the unique honor of being completely intact.” Brennan looks down at Bodhi. “Durran, you brought every single cadet. I guess that would make you the Iron Section.”

He inspired such loyalty from his section, they all defected. For so many reasons, including those already expressed above, I believe Bodhi to be a servant leader. Servant leadership rests on three pillars:  compassion, character, and competence. All of which Bodhi has in spades. He would not run a section the way Garrick did. Or the way Xaden ran his wing. Not that there was anything wrong with either of those philosophies necessarily. But he would pull with his squads, encourage them, equip them, support them, and push them gently to be their best. He would need to make certain they’re ready to face what he did in Resson, but he would do it with a deft, deliberate, more delicate hand than I think Xaden is willing or able to extend, because Bodhi Durran…

Is A Caretaker

So much of what has already been outlined above also represents an expression of this quality. From him helping Garrick protect Xaden’s solitude on the anniversary of Fen’s death. To him stepping between Aaric and Xaden when they start throwing barbs about Alic (which is also pragmatism, because hey, there’s a job to do). To him waiting with Xaden in the hall while Violet cleans up after Resson. He takes care of people both physically: 

“Whoa!” Bodhi throws up one hand, the other clutching his rucksack. “I don’t want you to freeze to death on the flight there.” He yanks his flight jacket out of his pack and hands it to me.

Bodhi helps Aaric out of his [disguise], careful with his blistered hands.  … “That’s a rebound burn,” Bodhi says. “It will clear up overnight if treated.”

”And tell Bodhi to track down whatever antidote she and the rest of her squad need.”

And emotionally, which leads me to the fact Bodhi…

Is Emotionally Attuned

An hour later, I’m bathed and impatient as I wait outside my room in a fresh set of leathers with Bodhi, who’s doing his best to lighten my mood just like he always does.

Bodhi reads people. Easily. He understands what Xaden’s saying without it being said . After Resson, he knows what Xaden needs from them - not questions, not reason, just action. He knows that Violet and Imogen need to run. And even when he can’t contradict Xaden’s orders, I believe he sympathizes with Violet’s driving need to do something to help, because it’s a drive he shares. Later, he knows not to carry Violet back to the quadrant after her burnout. And he’s the one that follows her into the courtyard to offer his jacket because he can see the panic plain as day. Just as he can see her disappointment when the wards fail. He can feel Xaden’s rage and terror as Violet lays comatose and poisoned (not that Xaden is overly subtle about it). 

On top of all of that, Bodhi…

Is Beautiful

He’s handsome, with tawny brown skin crowned by a cloud of black curls and a litany of patches on what I can see of his uniform under his cloak. His features are close enough to Xaden’s that they might be related. Cousins, maybe?

…Bodhi has the same bronzed skin and strong brow line, but his features aren’t as angular as Xaden’s, and his eyes are a lighter shade of brown. He looks like a softer, more approachable version of his older cousin...

Even Violet, who only has eyes for Xaden, recognizes how attractive he is. Yet, as fair and fine the wrapping, I would heartily declare his character fairer still.

While this is by no means an exhaustive list of his virtues - he's also humble, adaptable, a peacemaker, a good listener, infinitely capable, empathetic, and hyperaware of how he should conduct himself in a given situation - I think the case for Bodhi Durran has been made.

(originally compiled for the Onyx Storm countdown days at the RQ Discord)

[wlwsoccerfics]

Sweet Dreams(Mapi&Ingrid)

Warnings: Google translate used, it's quite short

Summary: Their daughter is struggling with sleeping cause of nightmares.

Two year old Svea Catalina Engen Cebrián was the light of her moms lifes. They would do anything for her. Mapi was probably even more protective then Ingrid.

Might have been cause she reminded her so much of Ingrid but with blonde hair like herself. She really was the perfect mix of them both.

Ingrid helped Svea put on her pjs, they were Peppa Pig ones. The little girl was putting up quite the fight. "Mama No dormir(sleep)." Svea whimpered, trying to wiggle out of Ingrids arms. Only wearing underwear and her pj top. "Svea! come back!" Ingrid yelled out. "We need to wear pants!" She added. Mapi was walking out of the kitchen and quickly grabbed the little Girl, picking her up. "pequeñito(very small, tiny), we don't run away from mama! And you need to wear pants!" Mapi told her daughter. "Mami No pants! No dormir!" The little girl started screaming and crying now. Both things that were really unusual for Svea. So Mapi & Ingrid eyed one another. Knowing something must be really wrong. It was true. The two year old had trouble with sleeping cause she was scared of having another bad dream. the nightmares always felt way too real for the little girl.

Mapi sat down with Svea on the couch, Ingrid grabbed a blanket to put over Mapi and their daughter. Hoping the little girl would calm down more. She was still fighting her moms but when Mapi sang her a Spanish lullaby & rocked back and forth with the little one in her arms, Svea relaxed. Holding onto Mapi, while Ingrid was playing with her hair. "pequeñito, ¿qué ocurre?(What's wrong?)" She asked. "Sleeping scary." The two year old explained to her moms. It did all make sense to Ingrid and Mapi now. Their daughter didn't know how to voice her struggles but finally they understood. "You can sleep in our bedroom." Mapi promised her daughter. "With Mama and Mami?" Svea wanted to make sure she understood this right. "Yes of course!" Ingrid let her know.

The two were even allowed to put the pj pants in Svea before the two got ready for bed themselves. It was only 7pm but they just wanted to get their daughter to sleep and rest. So they would also lay down. Ingrid was reading Svea a story while the little girl was cuddled up into Mapis side, laying inbetween her mami and mama. Her stuffed lion named Roar was in her arms as well. And very soon the little girl feel asleep.

She woke up once that night around 1am cause she had a bad dream and her mommies both cuddled up to her closer, whispering sweet nothings into her ears which made Svea fall back to sleep again within a few minutes.

They had to make sure that Svea was gonna be comfortable in her own bed again soon but that was a Mission for another night.

[vxxcte]

Extremely long rant on 001 & 457:

3.3k words

—

Intro

Yesterday I finished season 2 of Squid Game. I have so much to say about In-ho’s and Gi-hun’s dynamics and writing.

Keep in mind this is my interpretation of these characters and their dynamics. I’m just yapping because I have a lot to say. Maybe this takes on a much more optimistic view than is actually the case, but I fear it makes sense to me.

I have seen two takes about 457 around pretty often:

“They’re in love.” or:

“In-ho feeds off of Gi-hun’s pain because he’s just an evil guy.”

These can both be true in a way, but when no one talks about the little details of the character writing and the relationship between these two guys, it feels like the incredible potential and writing that this duo has is being overlooked.

Note, I will be referring to this Youtube video throughout this post:

Now let’s start with what we know already. It’s pretty evident that In-ho is not totally emotionless like many people are trying to imply or interpret him as.

Here’s why.

—

Hwang In-Ho and The Traitor Archetype

There are two ways in which a character like 001 can be portrayed.

TYPE 1 : The undercover ‘friend’ who is working against the main character can be shown to the audience as the ordinary cast member, and then it will be a plot twist when the protagonist learns with the audience the truth of this character. Usually the demeanor of this undercover ‘ally’ is not shown too obviously because it might take away from the impact of the plot twist later.

TYPE 2 : or You can go down the route that Squid Game did go. We knew Frontman’s face, so it was no use trying to convince us he was a good guy. His personality was not exaggerated like some Type 1 characters can be. Characters like this are not particularly hidden from the audience’s suspicion/accusation because we already know. And in these cases, the writers do not often need to give these characters disguise-personalities. In Squid Game, we as an audience know where to look for the cracks in In-ho’s character, where the ways in which his real identity shows through.

There was that time he killed someone in front of Jung-bae. It would have been out of nowhere for a story where they hadn’t shown his identity before, but we knew exactly what was going on. So let’s look at the instances before it was shown directly to other characters.

Here are the instances where we know for sure that his real self is slipping through.

In-ho more than once asks people questions and engages with them in a manner that might not come across as too strange to them. But to the audience, those who know he is an outsider, and thus know to pay attention to the possible intent behind his every word, it stands out.

In-ho engages with the people who are truly inside the game as specimens to observe. That’s partly why he’s there, after all. For example, take the instance during the Mingle game where he questioned Geum-ja about her son’s character. He doesn’t need to hide his sort of objective, detached curiosity (which extends slightly outside Gi-hun), about these people and how they work, because no one is keeping an eye out for it.

Because of this, I believe he did not need to make any extra efforts to mask his natural personality, beyond the bare necessary minimum.

—

In-ho’s Humor

Another reason I think that him not faking his personality a good amount of the time is his humor. The jokes and the ideas for jokes that one comes up is very telling of their inner processes, their ability to make connections between things and then an insight as to what they themselves think others around them will find funny.

First the joke he made about Gi-hun’s last name, and then about Jun-hee’s child as a sixth member in the Mingle game, both display a sort of consistent sense of dad joke type of humor. It is hard to fake humor that you are not well-versed in, and even harder if you put yourself in an unfamiliar environment with little preparation, purely to observe people.

Considering the fact that In-ho is evidently still in the process of observing these people up close as people rather than players, it would have been difficult to first think of a joke that they would enjoy and then deliver it successfully.

He could have gone without. He characterized himself in the others’ eyes well enough to go without making these jokes. It’s not like he was putting on any false performance for us, the audience (as noted above), and he was only omitting certain information from the other characters. There should be nothing ulterior that motivates him to go further and come up with a new/different sense of humor.

This leads me (personally) to read these interactions as genuine. These were jokes he thought of and spoke aloud, not to fool Gi-hun and the others, but because they naturally came to his mind and he decided to share them.

And villain-type character as he is now, he is still a person.

—

In-ho and his Family

There are other moments we saw from him that were genuine.

There was the information we got from his mother and Jun-ho, how he gave his brother his kidney and how his wife died.

Then In-ho lost his composure when Thanos told him to lecture his own kid. This was not an act—It would have been entirely unnecessary if he wanted everyone to believe he was a nice guy capable of little harm. This was genuine from him, he lost control and it was reasonable and it was real.

So when he told Gi-hun about his wife and unborn child that he is supposedly now in the games for, the things we have seen so far also point to that scene being a genuine interaction from him. His expressions did not hide it either.

And if all of that is not enough, he did not kill his brother. He sent Captain Park to find Jun-ho. In-ho put his brother, who knew exactly who Frontman is now, who now has something to work with, over his whole operation—It wouldn’t be too large a reach to say this.

Hwang In-ho is Not Without Emotion

Now we’ve subverted the whole idea of In-ho being some emotionless monster that some people online want to say he is. He may lack morals but he does not lack personality/emotion.

I didn’t even get into the way he cheered in the 5-minigame rounds or the way the first thing he did when he found Gi-hun in the Games was knowingly shit-talk him to his face, but I already have this much. This is all my evidence for In-ho being very and incredibly human, my case for him having a defined personality, fake player aside.

This is almost all sourced from lines in the show, rather than just visual acting which can be interpreted multiple ways. Thus every bit of the things I talked about is likely intentional.

Justice for my queen In-ho he is a great character and I enjoy him and his writing a LOT.

—

457 Introduction

I like to call 457 toxic yaoi as much as the next guy, but it’s so more than just the visible tension/chemistry between them. It’s more than enmity, it’s more than friendship and it’s more than romance too. Why stick labels on it when it’s so much more complicated?

Although on that note, before I get into the deeper stuff I just want to point out that all this staring at each other’s lips and whatnot was probably not something the actors decided to throw in on their own, considering the ‘I don’t understand it but it’s not unpleasant’ comment about the ship from Lee Byung-hun. So was it scripted for them to be doing allat? Lord knows, we’ll find out in June (fitting).

I am not even getting into how In-ho spoke to Gi-hun without his mask on and let him hear his real voice when Gi-hun won his first set of Games. There is something that has the potential to be very intimate about that.

I am not even getting into the little storytelling bit of how Gi-hun’s stubbornness reminds In-ho of his dead wife, and then how Gi-hun that exact determination at the end.

—

Pre-Games 2024

Let’s start with the limo dialogues, when In-ho told Gi-hun he wished he would’ve led a happy life.

He has no reason to wish Gi-hun ill, especially after Gi-hun won the games and left. In-ho likely saw himself in Gi-hun even back when Gi-hun won, and genuinely did wish him the happy life that In-ho himself did not end up having.

And how many people like Gi-hun has In-ho seen? Ever?

What kind of person does Gi-hun have to be, how notable in In-ho’s eyes does he have to be, for the person that administrates the Games to show himself to the person who wants to end them?

Gi-hun survived the Games without directly causing anyone’s death. In this place that tries to bring out the worst in anyone, even when Gi-hun fucked up in the marble game, he regretted it and turned back. This already sets him apart from anyone else, and especially sets him apart from In-ho, who took the darker road and climbed up the system.

You could say, ‘But other people have regretted their actions in the Games.’ But how many people get 45.6 billion won over 455 people’s deaths, and then come back, not for money, but to prevent further death? And how many people come back and become the Front Man?

Gi-hun went back with all that money to find his mom dead, presumably in a similar way to how In-ho went back with all the money he won but his wife died anyway.

There is a system that crushes people under it, In-ho realizes somewhere down the line, and then there is a way to remove those people. Gi-hun sees it another way: change the system.

—

Friends

Both of these people came into the Games for the sake of their loved ones. One came out of the process corrupt, and one returned determined to root out the corruption.

This year, aside from In-ho, there are 454 other people in this year’s Games that he does not know or necessarily care about. And then there is Gi-hun.

He knows Gi-hun. In-ho is a previous winner, just like Gi-hun, he is returning to the game for Gi-hun just as Gi-hun returned for In-ho. In-ho sees Gi-hun as more worthy of his time than anyone else. And all of this comes dangerously close to seeing Gi-hun as an equal, someone he has attached his narrative to, more than anyone else around.

And I think this opens up the possibility that In-ho could have come to see Gi-hun as a friend in some moments. There were moments in the games where he was a little too enthusiastic about their own wins for someone who does not need to put on a fully fake persona. So surely there could have been moments where In-ho genuinely considered Gi-hun a friend, however short-lived the moments were, however foreign the concept of a friend has become to him.

This could be what In-ho’s ‘conflicted feelings’ about Gi-hun (from the video linked up top) are all about.

—

How In-ho Sees Gi-Hun

Gi-hun refuses to remain powerless. He acts for change, refuses to give himself over to the system like In-ho has. He doesn’t shut up and take the money he’s given. He keeps fighting to end the Games, for other people who are caught in it.

And this does not make sense to In-ho. We don’t know enough about him. Maybe he tried this exact same thing that Gi-hun is trying. Or maybe he never did, and became who he is without putting up a proper fight.

This is someone who, so far, has remained unbending in his goal for change. This is someone who, in a facility designed to make people prioritize their own survival, gave a man he barely knew for 3 days a magazine, while he himself was getting shot at, while ammo was short.

In-ho lies to Gi-hun about his name, but he tells him about his wife. He bares an old part of his soul to him, the part of it that lingers from back when he was like Gi-hun. He has seen immeasurable death and has caused it, but there was a time he might have wanted to stop it too, and now there is someone like that again.

In-ho bared a part of himself to the person who came here to take him down because he saw his old self in him. And in turn that person did something In-ho never would’ve done at this point in time—Gi-hun extended this seemingly-pointless goodness to him too.

I like to think In-ho was so interested in Gi-hun because he wanted to see how he himself might've become, had he only taken a different view of life.

In-ho might deep down be expecting him to fail, yes, but he roots for him, roots for a version of himself that never made it. He’s curious. Lee Byung-hun has said In-ho is conflicted about his feelings towards Gi-hun, and secretly might even root for him (see the link at the bottom of this post).

In-ho stares at Gi-hun so intently to try and understand him as best he can. He wants to know what’s going on in Gi-hun’s head, the changes someone undergoes in short periods of time in enclosed death game facilities, a new experiment in the head of someone who is returning a second time. How will Gi-hun hold up? He wants to see his future.

—

The Breaking of Gi-hun’s Resolve (or the Changing)

Gi-hun loses the plot.

He couldn’t save everyone at first like he intended, he couldn’t get out fast because they got his tracker, and his resolve weakens, and he deems it necessary to sacrifice some people for the greater good.

When Gi-hun realizes he can’t save everyone, when he trades in an unnumbered amount of people for a shot to end the whole system, and he gives in.

Maybe In-ho sees himself in that weakening of Gi-hun’s resolve. It’s possible he doesn’t like it because he genuinely wanted Gi-hun to remain unwavering, as Lee Byung-hun said In-ho rooted for him. Or maybe In-ho does like it, because he’s satisfied for the confirmation that his view was right, that his path was inevitable all along.

This could be another point of conflict for In-ho’s feelings towards Gi-hun. Maybe that’s why he decided to fake the death of Young-il right then and put a stop to that operation: Of course, it’s partly because he’s Frontman and he can’t let the Games end. But on another hand, the coup was failing anyway, even without his betrayal and return as Frontman.

This then brings to light the possibility that he decided that, because Gi-hun gave in, In-ho decided he’s seen enough from by Gi-hun’s side. It confirmed something for him, confirmed that Gi-hun’s failure was inevitable because of human nature. And that was enough observing from up-close.

But then that confirmation, Gi-hun’s reluctant admission to the need of collateral, is thrown into question again, only a couple of hours later, when In-ho meets up with Gi-hun and Jung-bae. Gi-hun gives In-ho a magazine when ammo is short, and even when In-ho asks him, “Are you sure?” Gi-hun insists.

Sure, Gi-hun traded all those lives for this opportunity, but he is willing to risk lessening his own chance for survival for the sake of his friends, too.

—

“Are you sure?”

Then there is the question: Why did In-ho ask Gi-hun if he was sure about giving him the magazine?

Why would he provide the opportunity to think again on this? It wouldn’t benefit him at all if Gi-hun were to take the magazine back—Not that Gi-hun would. Gi-hun doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean, especially not in situations like this, and this even In-ho should know.

It could be a final test of Gi-hun’s character. Or it could be that this is one of those moments where In-ho genuinely saw Gi-hun as a friend.

Lee Byung-hun has said (from the video) that In-ho’s character was a very nuanced and detailed one that he had to be very careful portraying. That look on In-ho’s face when Gi-hun gave him that magazine was not any error on the actor’s end. It did mean something to In-ho, whatever it may have meant.

—

Jung-bae, Gi-hun, In-ho, and soju

I’m gonna get into the technicalities of exactly what In-ho’s motivations were in taking this specific bit of Gi-hun’s and Jung-bae’s conversation and using it with Gi-hun later.

I don’t entirely disagree when others call it jealousy, but it feels unfitting to arrive at that conclusion with no further thought. So here’s how I see it.

When Gi-hun and Jung-bae were talking about going out for soju, In-ho was eavesdropping. Then later, In-ho tells Gi-hun later to go out for soju together someday.

If In-ho really intended the unfulfilment of the shared plan between Gi-hun and himself to devastate, this was not an ideal or necessary move, and I’m sure he knows that. And I’ve covered earlier, to my interpretation he does not bother to act like someone he is not unnecessarily.

It would’ve been smarter if he had his own conversation about future plans with Gi-hun, instead of leeching off the soju date idea that Gi-hun already planned with Jung-bae.

In-ho probably did plan on killing Jung-bae at that point, be it eventually or through the later Games, because he does not really care about anyone besides Gi-hun enough to spare them. And maybe he intended to use Jung-bae’s, and Young-il, death as another test of Gi-hun’s character.

But In-ho/Young-il’s ‘death,’ objectively and inevitably, means less to Gi-hun than the death of his best friend. This is not to say that Gi-hun subconsciously measures the weights or grief values of these deaths, obviously. It is just to say that he has known In-ho for only a couple days and it is bound to impact him less, just like how Ali’s death did not hit him quite as hard as Sang-woo’s did.

(Admittedly, season 1 did have a lot less focus on character relationships than season 2 does, but it wasn’t so little that a lot would’ve changed in Gi-hun’s reactions either way).

This, combined with the order and intensity of events in the last episode, most likely means that Jung-bae’s death overshadows In-ho’s ‘death’ in Gi-Hun’s mind.

And this would be obvious. So what purpose does ‘You can treat me with a glass of soju when we get out’ even serve? It’s not going to affect Gi-hun in the long run as much as Jung-bae would.

Gi-hun had a much-needed conversation with his good friend and their plan to get soju was borne of reminiscence of their shared past and desire to make it out. But when In-ho brought it up, it was done in an offhand manner in a two-sentence exchange. This is impossible to happen anyway and In-ho knows it.

If he wanted Gi-hun’s full investment in a plan to go out together, maybe for the purpose of hurting/testing him with it, surely he would’ve done something more than this. He knew it wouldn’t stick as well. So then why did he say it? What purpose would this actually serve?

If, even after all this, In-ho he thought that this soju appointment would affect Gi-hun as much as Jung-bae’s might have, then I might say jealousy nurses delusion.

Or maybe it was something genuine. Maybe that moment, when Gi-hun thanked him for saving his life and In-ho said ‘You can get me a glass of soju when we get out,’ maybe that was another one of those short-lived moments in which In-ho did see Gi-hun as something like a friend.

—

Conclusion

Because of the fact that he is more genuine than one might originally guess (according to my interpretation), I would like to say that he did consider Gi-hun a friend sometimes.

And their dynamic is just so fascinating to me. Likely the first I’ve ever seen of this kind.

They’re in love, they hate each other, they’re friends, they’re opposites.

They’re the first person the other looks for upon separation, they’re trying to put a stop to the other’s plans, they’re good friends.

They’re representations of the roads the other didn’t take, they’re mirrors, they lean into each other more than necessary even when cuffed together, In-ho finds the pieces of humanity he lost in Gi-hun, they’re foils, they were friends.

I won’t be recovering for a while.

[annakabeybeh]

Batman & Robin #17 Review

I don't know if there's too much or too little to unpack here. I'm really loving this chapters and leaving me wanting more. It's steady and calm in the pacing without feeling boring. It's just perfect. Little by little it's opening the story of Memento and I absolutely love it.

The mix of past and present could be a little annoying to some but I feel it has a good effect because even if tells you almost nothing it still gives you a precedent of things to happen.

I love the way Damanian's character is being build, it's a change from his always sure demeanor. He always had doubts about himself but he tried to no show them so this Damian is a nice breath for his development.

Spoilers ahead

This panel is important.

1st Is he talking about the way he was raised? Talia and Ras or was a small backhanded comment about Bruce? It could be both but I love the idea of it being about Bruce. Yes, Damian is intellingent and brilliant for his age but that doesn't mean that he should be doing what he's doing. He might at that moment saying that Bruce could be more and do more by being a normal citizen than as Batman and it is a good take, boring in comic sense but it is an amazing take.

2nd The doubt about the need of Batman in Gotham, it is a issue talked about in a book I read, Batman and Psychology. The question is Batman the reason everything happens or everything happens and that's why Batman is needed. The question as far as I know has arose outside comics not in them and this being questioned for me it is interesting. It's a doubt beyond capacity of a character but more of need and reason (Do I make sense? I hope so)

This panel is something that I feel writers had made Bruce do over and over again. Bruce blames others for his failiures (Blamed Dick for Jason's death. Tried to guilt trip Jason about Damian's death -DAMN BRUCE, FUCK YOU!- and he even blamed and guilt tripped Damian about Alfred's death -Again, Fuck you Bruce) but this goes beyond that in my opinion, why? Because this is a Bruce that relies on his Robin, he's not an accessory, he's an extension of himself and it was shown not only with this interaction but with the chapter before but it also goes beyond just passing blame because it also shows that Damian is getting away and he doesn't like that.

Is this just jealousy of a parent as he watch his son drift away?

Damian had been raised to be a villain or a vigilante, his choice nevertheless and his connection with Thomas Wayne was bigger than Bruce expected. He understood him and he liked him, in a way that Damian might not like Bruce but in the way Damian liked and loved Alfred. I love the idea that Damian is seeing Dr. Bashar's as some sort of Alfred's substitute (I do not trust the man but Damian needed that support because let's be honest Bruce is not that, not for Damian and not for anyone.) This show Damian in a nutshell. A person that sees the world and sees not only what's infront of him but what it can be. He sees he can be bigger and better than what he's that moment.

I mean Bruce, your ego, keep it in check. He should have done this since the beggining but he didn't because of his ego but now that Damian is interested in someone else, looking up someone that is not him he became this kind of person. That's what I feel. I find it funny and it will funnier that there's nothing to doubt the man.

This interesting. She had been suspicion that Jack is Batman but this is not a comfimation of the suspicion but to show that despite everything Damian is Bruce's son and I love it. They're different but similar. I feel that this is like comfirming that he won't stop being Robin (Don't do that to me, I need more Damian content I love him so much).

The team up with Jason is something that would fuel more disputes between Bruce and Damian. Some sort of jealousy from both of them and I love the idea, they need to communicate but they are too stuborn to do so. Damian's fears and doubts about himself and what he thinks Bruce wants from him push him to not tell him stuff. That kind of stuff was something he shared with Alfred and he hadn't found someone to confide in so Bashar had stepped because he communicates and Bruce hadn't communicated he never had ease Damian's worries.

The title of the new chapter seems Chef's kiss to me. A reference to both Death in the family and Death of the Family. I have big expectations in next chapters. Tbh this is what Damian is for me.

[pastafossa]

The Matt as a father made my heart brr.

It does make me wonder what Jane and Matt would want in their future? Whether it’s just a cat, bird, or a bunch of turtles from a sewer. Or maybe just no animals and just them and their friends. I’m curious

TY! It was definitely a warm and fuzzy post! I see no reason we can't acknowledge the difficulties he'd have as a parent (both as someone with trauma and as something with super senses), because it makes all the time, love, and effort he'd put in that much more meaningful. And God knows he'd love that kid with everything in him.

And oooh, this is a fun question! So I will say they are going to eventually get a cat (I did a oneshot about it a while back and it did well, and since I'd kinda always wanted to bring a cat into TRT, we're going to roll with it with some adjustments). That's going to become TRT canon! Ciro always had cats so Jane has a nostalgia for them, and that cat will also be a vehicle to help process some of her trauma (I haven't delved heavily into it yet, but her vague mentions of cats being 'fellow subjects' while she was held by Cyrus James will tie into this). Likewise, I'm on team, Matt needs a cat. I believe it would be really helpful for his mental health to have this little animal who just adores him, all these happy little purrs and cuddles, and a reminder that Matt's allowed to nurture something good, he's not going to kill whatever or whoever he touches. Matt's got his own emotional hangups there, but he'll work through it like Jane does. And once they're in that boat, I see them as always having at least one cat around, if not two.

ALSO GOOD CATCH ON THEIR TURTLE FRIENDS, THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE RUNNING JOKES IN THE FIC

The one thing in this arena that I won't ever make official TRT canon about their future is whether they wind up with kid(s) or not. That's something I feel is incredibly personal and so I want to leave that open for people to decide themselves - do they have no kids? Just one? An entire football team? Your choice! I'll support it all as potential options, and in each of those? They're happy, whether that's the two them growing old and sitting in their red rocking chairs, having lived a long, happy life with their friends and cats and the Nelson clan who sees them as family, or as two parents to a herd of much loved kids and eventual parkour inclined grandkids.

That said, I did have the hilarious idea for a short What If oneshot involving them and their potential five-year-old daughter, who would be the bane of the principal's existence due to her penchant both for swearing and for questioning the justice of various school rules she does not agree with. But I'd mark that very clearly as a What If, and not as canon. It would just be a fun thing for me to explore because I think it would be hilarious.

[milkb0nny]

Touch Cannot Lie

Pairing: Ivar x blind!reader

Summary: You were born without sight, but it never hurt your confidence as much since you managed to navigate and live just fine. However, other people belittle and underestimate you, which builds frustration. Though, one day you would learn someone else was feeling the same way.

Note: So, I haven't been active for some time but I'm trying to get back into it. I've been a lot into vikings and supernatural again, which is why I'm feeling motivated. 💕🫶 With that, I hope you enjoy this fic!

Warnings: fluff and butterflies in your stomach

Word count: ~1200

You stepped through the snow, its cold crunch beneath your boots breaking the silence of the forest. The paths were familiar, stuck in your memory from countless adventures shared with your siblings. These woods were more than trees and trails - they were a place of cherished moments with your beloved brothers. Your siblings had always believed in your strength, your courage, even though you couldn’t see the world as they did. They saw you as you, not as blindness.

The gods had denied you sight, but in its place, they blessed you with keen senses and an ability to see the truth in others. You learned to navigate not just the world, but the depths of people, detecting their intentions with ease. Over the years, you encountered every kind of person: those who pitied you, those who patronized you with unwanted help, and those who pried with questions born of insensitivity. You rarely encountered interest in your person, only the challenges of being blind bothered others. Yet, amidst them all, one man stood apart; someone who saw you for who you truly were, treating you with respect and dignity.

As you made your way deeper into the woods, the stillness was broken by the sound of footsteps. There was something distinct about them, something you have heard before. A rhythm accompanied by a dragging noise, as if someone were pulling a heavy object. Though they weren’t heading back toward the town, but deeper into the forest, just like you did. Before you could wonder further, voices emerged, familiar and comforting.

“Y/N!” a voice called, clear and warm. It was Ubbe. A smile crept across your face, and your pace quickened toward the raspy voice.

“Ragnarssons, what brings you out on this winter’s day?” you asked softly, moving confidently toward the voices.

“Careful, don’t fall,” Hvitserk said, reaching out to guide your hand, but you declined with a slight shake of your head. You continued steadily until you reached Ubbe and Ivar.

Ubbe spoke, explaining that they were discussing family matters and strategies for their revenge against the Saxon kingdom. You listened intently, walking beside Ivar and matching his pace. Ivar‘s voice filled the breezy air as he turned his attention to you.

“What about you? It’s rare to see you alone, Y/N,” he asked gently, though his eyes - unseen to you - glued on your frosty hands which were slightly red already.

“My brothers are busy preparing for the next feast in the grand hall,” you explained with a light chuckle. “I needed a walk to clear my head. Sometimes calmness is the best companion. Though, I imagine you know a thing or two about that, with all those brothers.”

The Ragnarssons laughed, their light heartiness warming the icy air. You had grown up alongside them in a way; your paths had crossed many times in Kattegat especially the past years, forging a bond that was both familial and unique. The conversation shifted back to their plans, but soon another set of hurried steps approached.

“Ubbe! Bjorn needs us for an urgent discussion,” came Sigurd’s voice. “He hasn’t had much time for us lately, but this is important.”

Hvitserk hesitated, glancing toward you. “Then we’ll go,” he said, “but Ivar, can you stay with Y/N? Just to ensure she doesn’t lose her way back to the town.”

The words stung, though you masked it well. Once again, you were reminded of how others saw you. Not as the capable person you were, but as someone fragile and in need of protection. You knew the paths throughout, and you trusted your senses well enough to not lose track. Though you appreciated their care, it still hurt to be defined by your blindness.

“I’m sorry for being a burden,” you murmured, frustration slipping into your voice.

“That’s my brothers’ foolishness, not yours,” Ivar replied quickly, his tone firm yet kind. “Do you want to walk further? I don’t mind spending time with you. I would not find a place in their discussion anyway.” He was mad about the fact he had been left alone once again, but he didn’t mind that he had the opportunity to be with you alone.

You smiled at his sincerity, warmth spreading through you as he lingered by your side. He understood your struggles in a way few could. You liked that, the way he never asked if you were struggling because of your eyes.

Kneeling down to meet his gaze, you felt his presence. A warmth that contrasted with the chill of the snow. The scent of leather and iron lingered around him. “I wish I could see you, Ivar,” you said softly. “I imagine you look simply human, despite what others say about your legs. Maybe you look like a god. Or perhaps a beast. Or maybe something else entirely.”

Your words spilled out before you could stop them, and the blush rising to your cheeks portrayed your embarrassment. Ivar, however, found your flushed face endearing, a rare vulnerability you shared only with him. A moment which only the two of you shared, which he would take advantage of.

“I wonder the same,” he admitted with a small smile. “Would you like me to guide you? Not to help, but to let you see in your own way.”

Your hand hesitated before reaching out, and his cold fingers enveloped yours with surprising gentleness. He didn’t feel violent but you knew his temper well enough. Up to this point you rarely touched him, perhaps a few times as a kid. Though, this moment was something different - a side of Ivar you haven’t heard of yet.

He guided your hand to his face, resting it lightly against his cheek. His skin was cold, yet the moment felt electric. Your heart fluttered as your fingers traced the contours of his face - his strong jawline, the curve of his lips, the furrow of his brows, the shape of his nose. Ivar guided you, and you followed along with a racing heart.

“Are you sure?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to overstep.”

“I’m sure,” he replied, his grip firm but kind. “I’ve seen you do this with your brothers. It’s how you imagine what we look like, isn’t it?”

You nodded, a smile spreading across your lips. His understanding touched you deeply. As your hands roamed carefully over his features, you noticed yourself savoring the moment.

“So,” he asked, a teasing edge in his voice, “am I a god or a monster?”

“You’re neither,” you said with a quiet laugh, your hands cupping his face. “You’re just human. But a very unique one.”

His eyes softened, though you couldn’t see the admiration in them. In this moment, he felt truly seen, not for his weaknesses, but for his humanity. And for the first time in a long while, so did you.

[rivalswrites]

Could you do headcannons for poly w Reed Richards X Reader X Susan Storm? I love them both sm <3

Throuple with Reed and Susan

Before you read, please be warned that I'm writing based on my impressions of them not only in the game (though it's the biggest inspiration), but some of them with the movies/shows in mind too.

A single suggestive comment is made, but it's not serious or goes into detail. Susan is called Sue

Oml I love them both so much, let me be their third 😭🙌 wrote a little more than I thought I would.

Masterlist

Two words. Power. Throuple.

Not only do you three dominate the bedroom, but also the battle field and laboratory. Three big geniuses and strong fighters.

The three of you make the greatest support system, not only for each other but for others around you as well. When either of you are down, the other two know just how to brighten the day, your optimism in any situation spreading to those around and bringing their mood up- intentional or not.

Reed is an airhead at times, but that doesn't stop you and Sue from loving him as he loved you. He's been getting overwhelmed as of lately, the weight of saving the entire multiverse was heavy on his mind more than anyone else. Working day and night while also fighting to keep things at bay, it was a lot for him. You and Sue could see that. So it's more often than not that during free time the two of you would sit in the laboratory and watch over him. Both of you would take turns making sure he ate something and giving him affection to keep him sane.

Sue is strong minded, she believes in what she knows is right and won't back down to anyone who dares say otherwise. The multiversal problem is stressful for her too, but she knows when to ask for help when she feels it's all too much for her. Her favorite activity to relax is a cuddle pile, believe it or not. She'll lay on the bed, and enjoy the pressure of both you and Reed laying directly on top of her; Reed’s arms wrapped tightly around the both of you.

That's often how you guys sleep, on top of Sue and in the arms of Reed. Though the person being dog piled on would alternate on occasion, it was usually Sue.

When Reed can't make it to bed (even with you and Sue taking the time to try and convince him to get some sleep) the both of you find it hard to sleep without his arms around you two. The solution? Burrito blanket. You take the biggest blanket you can and roll around until it's tight and the both of you are giggling face to face in each other's arms.

When Sue can't make it to bed, for whatever reason, you and Reed make it work. He still wraps his arms around you like usual, but he lays on top of you now. He isn't used to not having someone underneath him, so if it isn't Sue it's probably you. Sue’s pillow rests in between you two, it somehow brings comfort to you.

When you can't make it to bed, Sue and Reed suffer, but make due. They lay facing together on your usual spot on the bed, wrapped up in all the blankets and only using your pillows. When you come in later to finally rest, they slightly wake up (like they have some sort of 6th sense) and happily welcome you in between them. No sleeping on anyone needed, just a squished sandwich because the both of them refuse to move off of your side of the bed.

Meals are special, a time uninterrupted by anything. Usually meals are held at the table, plates set and food displayed for anyone to grab as much as they wanted. Conversation flowed easily about every topic, be it work or a hobby, anything brought up is welcomed by the others. But sometimes meals are less formal, usually dinner. It'd be held in your room, sitting on the bed with takeout containers sat on everyone's laps while totally binging some dumb reality show. You all laugh and call the people in the show dumb, and it's just a time where the three of you can fully relax and enjoy time in your spouse's presence.

Reed is more affectionate than Sue, his stretchy body playing a great role in it. He'll wrap his arms around you, Sue, or both (much like during the night), and nuzzle his dumb face into your shoulder. He likes to muzzle, and he does it very often; in bed, as a greeting, as a goodbye, while hugging, any time he has the chance he'll take the opportunity to do it. His beard scratches against your skin or hair, but it doesn't feel as uncomfortable as you'd think.

Sue has taken up Reed's nuzzling habit, having been around him for so long. She doesn't do it as often, and only in private. Usually in solitude when she's down or comforting you/Reed. Sometimes in bed, when it's just her and either of you, she gets embarrassed if it's both of you and doesn't do it. Her hugs are strong and extremely comforting.

Never is one person in the relationship left to do all the work, even when they ask for it. Cooking is never a one person job, nor are chores. It's all split as evenly as possible, and if someone is behind on anything the others are there to help. If you can't find the time or effort to do something, Sue and Reed will do it for you if possible- saying you'll just have to return the favor later (the favor being extra affection or a one on one date).

Speaking of, one on one dates do happen. Both you, Sue, and Reed understand that sometimes there are times where three is a bit much, or that there needs to be separate bonding time. You and Sue will have shopping dates, you and Reed will have walks outside together, Reed and Sue will catch up on a hobby they both share, you've all got something special for the separate dates.

Celebrations are taken very seriously. Anniversaries, birthdays, big milestones, you name it they'll celebrate it. Reed has taken it up on himself to perfect each and every cake flavor to exist, so every celebration has a homemade cake that the three of you have to give to Johnny and Ben the next day to help finish it. Sue on the other hand takes the time with you to plan dinner, be it take out or making a warm meal together.

[missriggie]

If Inquisitor Lavellan is Hope, Elf!Rook is Freedom

Forgive my rambling but I just wanted to share this, see if it inspires discussion/theories/new friends to reach out, and maybe cement myself in this fandom.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I've given a sparing thought to some theories and headcanons I've seen circulating with the confirmation of elves once being spirits in Veilguard and all the clues sprinkled throughout Inquisition. One has popped up that I find intriguing and I agree with. Inquisitor Lavellan is a Spirit of Hope.

I think there is a very strong case for that, especially for those Solasmancers out there who love to pair them up as Wisdom and Hope. It's a very beautiful thought as they are without a doubt soulmates, at least in the cases where those two end up together.

Hope defines the Inquisitor's journey. They become the Herald of Andraste, a symbol to look to after a period of ruthless war, then into the ass-end of a demon apocalypse trying to mend a broken world. Deed after great deed they prove their capabilities, and become a formidable player in Thedas's history, keeping people looking up. They are the Dawn That Comes.

Now that Veilguard has since confirmed that Elves were spirits made flesh, I've started to wonder at what possible spirit Rook could be, should they be of Elven lineage. I've decided, either through evidence or delusion or trying to piece together the fanfic I've got brewing, that Rook could be a spirit of Freedom.

Every faction could have some way of a purpose toward liberation. A Veil Jumper would want to free their history and their people from ignorance. A Grey Warden would want to free Thedas from the Calling and the Blight. The strongest background, and most the likely canon faction for Rook would be a Shadow Dragon, putting pressure on the Imperium to abolish slavery.

Rook has a knack for freedom. We free Lucanis from the Ossuary, the Dalish Elves from the Venatori, the Kal Sharok dwarves from the Titan's anger, young griffons from the Gloomhowler. We even free ourselves from a prison of regret built specifically to lock up gods.

My first go round, I played a Lord of Fortune Spellsword, and it coincided very nicely with this theory. An ex-galley slave turned marauding treasure hunter with no masters to hold them back. She lived and breathed freedom so it made sense, at least for my Rook.

We also see the potential to corrupt that spirit of freedom. Into what you ask? CHAOS. Which also ties into the other thing that connects them to Solas; The Tower.

The big teaser for Rook as the protagonist back when it was still called Dreadwolf was the Tower/rook chess piece and floating head of a wolf. Solas's Arcana at the end of Inquisition is the Tower. This Major Arcana represents calamity, disruption, upheaval, unavoidable change, chaos.

Too much freedom leads to lawlessness, and Rook is never one to follow rules as far as we witness. In all backgrounds, no matter the faction, Rook's actions cause unrest, turmoil, disruption, often a total breakdown of authority, much like the spirit they are mistaken for when delving into Solas's memories in the Crossroads.

Rook cannot be caged or told what to do. But also, Freedom cannot go unchecked, to do so on either end of the spectrum just leads to untold mayhem. It needs a guiding hand. It needs Wisdom.

With this in mind, it just makes their dynamic with Solas so much more fascinating. Everything he has done is in the name of Freedom, and if he were to have a living embodiment of it move against him it would be so confronting. It would make him question his entire angle. Why is he really doing this, if not for freedom? But his pride would keep him in imprisoned in denial and regret. This denial is then reflected back to Rook in regards to the fate of Varric.

The case for each spirit, both Hope and Freedom, only intensifies if one chooses the Atonement ending.

Lavellan sees the Wisdom in Solas and tries to appeal to him through that. She gives him Hope, and joins him in the dream, forever protected from his fear of dying alone.

Rook holds a mirror to his Pride, his mistakes, his trauma and makes him confront it. They gather all the pieces needed to unravel his fear, allow him to let go and make his own choice to atone and return to his true self, opening a path to true Freedom to finally come home to the Fade. WHICH IS TWIN-FLAMEY AS FUCK

So yeah, I love this game.

[jackandjoker]

my top shows of 2024 (better late than never)

1. jack and joker (act surprised)

this was my first ever thai show and GOSH was i in for a ride.. i legit started watching this for fun because i saw an edit and i found the name ‘joke’ very funny… oh how times change.

this show was made for me, it’s perfect to me, i can talk about it forever and i will.

2. peaceful property

to think i almost didn’t watch this because the poster didn’t interest me 😭

but this is so underrated i think? it was everything to me, each story was special and made me feel so many things. the phoomvicha episode made me cry the most, along with ep 8 😞

3. last twilight

this is the 2nd show from P’Aof that i’ve seen and i think he’s gotten a spot in my favourite directors list. definitely not without faults, but still unique and beautiful and i loved it. also cried a hell lot… and i hope i can get mhok’s fart proudly shirt one day.

4. let free the curse of taekwondo

my first ever korean drama and it will not be the last!! i loved this so much, i only wish it was longer. i’m patiently waiting for all my exams to end so i can watch all of hwang da-seul’s filmography.

5. i hear the sunspot

so many firsts in this post- this is the show that introduced me to the world of asian bl… my first ever asian drama <3

i love kohei & taichi with all of my heart and although they seem to be the kings of miscommunication, they found each other in the end. and i desperately want to try that burger.

6. interview with the vampire s2

iwtv is my kind of crazy, i love them all 🤲

not much to say about this one but it’s one of the 3 shows i’ve given a perfect 5/5 rating so far. (others are j&j and derry girls).

7. the on1y one

patiently waiting for season 2🥹

these two had my entire heart 😭😭 something about this show that makes me feel so much comfort… and it’s gorgeous so that’s a plus. (my first ever taiwanese drama- sorry)

8. takara’s treasure

this was just so cute 🥹 they’re adorable and it’s just a light and fluffy show and i love that. i took care of an abandoned kitty for a while and named her takara because i considered her my treasure lol.

9. 23.5

loser lesbians <3333

if onsga and aylin had a daughter, it would be me. 100%. i love milklove and i’m impatiently waiting for whale store xoxo. and i love how view is like the girl version of mark pakin because i adore her and keep seeing her in random stuff i watch.

10. see your love

this was just so fun🥺 the best 20 mins i had every wednesday for 12 weeks. both the main leads and johnathan & xin jia have my heart, along with shu he and shaopeng’s parents. i love amazing supportive parents in bls 🥹🩵

some other favs under the cut :)

non 2024 shows i loved-

moonlight chicken

i need more series like this because 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵 it was so gorgeous omg and it was too short 😞😞

when i watched the first ep i didn’t think i’d like it but still continued and i’m so glad because it only got better and better. and i hope whoever decided to make earthmix firstkhao gem4 sing the moon represents the heart never has a bad day in their life. i love it so much.

the best story

when are we getting the dew story yinwar?? 😭🥺 if i had a nickel for everytime war cried after seeing yin with a girl, i would have 3 nickels. maybe more if i start counting their music videos

cherry magic thailand

i wanted more taynew after peaceful property and damn!! karan was whipped 😭 it’s funny how his thoughts were like that when he had a gaystraight face the entire time

other 2024 shows that i enjoyed:

sugar dog life

i love shows that involve cooking and i love characters who bond over food. so obviously i loved this. similar to takara’s treasure, a feel good show.

caged again

it got a bit messy around the end and the story took turns i wasnt expecting, which was fine, but i felt it was different from the premise if that makes sense? i loved it still and i would definitely like to see more of ben & jay.

my love mix up th

i randomly watched this on my period and honestly it made me laugh so much so i’m biased 😭 some stupid stuff did bother me but overall very slay <3 i’m glad chokun has a main role now, after this & peaceful property 🥺

[abigmessofablog]

I'm sure I'm probably not the first person to note this but the reason so many works derivative of The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings fails to capture the magic of those works is the lack of the hobbityness

Tolkien was, obviously, entirely aware of he common fantasy and fairytale tropes he was playing off of and they're present in his work (placing the proper king on the throne, elves and dwarves, main character who's hesitant to start his heros journey, dragons, ext) but if need be, these elements will be sidelined to emphasize the Hobbitish philosophy about the importance of comfort and good food and so on and so forth. (Thorin's death speech, Frodo's "I can't recall the taste of food, nor the touch of grass" ext)

Warning; super long, barely readable meta rant written at 2AM below

I've seen people say in any other story, Aragorn would be the main character of LOTR and I can agree with that but I'd argue you can kinda say the same thing about Thorin. Aragorn has his whole "rightful king" plot not dissimilar to how Thorin has his "reclaim the homeland, fight the dragon" plot. In the movies our emotional involvement in Aragorn and Thorin gets beefed up a little as they get some more brooding to the both of them. Aragorn gets his angst over his ancestry, Thorin is taken more seriously (ie: his updated, much more dramatic introduction giving him an air of mystery vs his book introduction, movie Balin's speech about his loyalty to Thorin, the treatment of the whole "gold sickness" thing, Thorin's speeches being taken seriously rather than being lovingly made fun of by the narration, ext) You can easily see a version of these stories where these two kings are the main characters of the story but they aren't! but neither of these characters are our main characters. Frodo and Bilbo are, respectively. And Frodo and Bilbo are simple hobbits with simple likes and the desire to live their simple shire life before getting dragged into adventure by the narrative.

I do genuinely like that in the Hobbit movies Bilbo gets to decide to go on the adventure by himself instead of getting unceremoniously shoved out of the house by Gandalf. It gives him more agency and we get the fun adventure that is supposed to take Bilbo out of his shell. Thats the message most people took from the story (ie "the world is not in your books..." I love this message/interpretation as much as anyone to be clear. I'm very guilty of loving my "Bilbo stays in Erebor" fanworks) but it is worth noting that Bilbo returns back to the Shire after his adventure and he gets the big speech about how more people should value the simple things in life before Thorin dies. Bilbo positions himself as sort of an unconventional hero by modern standards. Bilbo gets out of his situations more often than not through his wit and cleverly talking his way out of it rather than any displays of strength. He talks his way around Smaug, he cheats at his game of riddles with Gollum, he stalls the trolls. Bilbo wasn't even awake for the big climatic battle that gets turned into a climax for one of the movies. Bilbo, while getting braver more capable and more accepting of the situation, is still a hobbit! He wants his home and hearth and if he is dragged on an adventure, he will very loudly let you know about it. Frodo is similar in the sense that his strength doesn't come from any physical strength but from his ability to shoulder the horrors™ and then accept help from the people around him (mainly Sam) because he shouldn't have to shoulder the horrors™ alone. Again, the entire time Frodo is going on his adventure he's thinking about how much he'd rather be home. Sam sort of acts like this beacon of what the home represents and he’s the only thing keeping him emotionally stable and tries to comfort him through keeping him tethered to those memories of home. There’s the obvious scenes where Sam straight up tells Frodo to imagine home but there’s also just things like Sam cooking and insisting on making sure Frodo is fed (please note that sharing food is basically the universal signal for closeness, domesticity and the idea of a family unit. Think Norman Rockwell) or them turning their traumatic events into stories that they (again mostly Sam) expect to tell to their family and friends in a very domestic setting and then have those stories be passed down in the “Samwise the brave”, “Frodo wouldn’t have made it far without Sam” scene

You can also use this theme to sort of track the change in tone between the two stories. Bilbo's craving for the simple comforts of a warm meal, his bookshelves and a comfortable are played for jokes a few times, it's ultimately validated by the narrative. Frodo's drive to get back home is ultimately very melancholic and downright heartwrenching and when he can finally go home, it's not the same. In Bilbos case this change is sort of implied through the way Bilbo is treated very differently and treated like the neighborhood crazy guy by his peers post-adventure and this is played for laughs mostly but with Frodo it's outright stated and it is played completely straight. He's been so traumatized, so changed by his journey that he's simply not the same person he was when he left and he struggles to enjoy the aspects of the home that were previously used as an attempt to comfort him. Hence, “the Shire has been saved, but not for me." And he ends up leaving the Shire for good. As much as we know Tolkien hated the war allegory, it does bring to mind a soldier coming back home with severe trauma.

I feel like so much of this is lost in works that try to emulate LOTR and The Hobbit because of the simple fact that action sells much better. I mean, that's why the third hobbit movie is called "The Battle of The Five Armies" isn't it? There's also the want for grimmer, darker stories, since so many people view those as more "realistic" Maybe it's just the result of more cynical creators and audiences who want to watch more of the killing the dragon and cool battles with the big armies and less of the writing about trees and the value of home. I dunno I'm tired