#would be really funny to have the JL trying to catch him thinking he was a villain at first

[leafyeyes417]

Danny sat on a rooftop feeling confused. It was currently 3 days later than he last remembered. That was 3 DAYS with no memory of anything. He didn’t even know what city he was in. The only thing he is sure of is that it wasn’t mind control. His experience with Freakshow let him know that.

Along with this feeling more similar to the time his mom shoved high proof cleaning alcohol that was ectofied in his face during an excited rant. The fumes alone had him missing a few hours. Luckily Jazz was there and kept his blackout drunk self entertained.

So the question was, where the hell was he and what did he do?! Also, what caused him to blackout? Last he remembered he was in Metropolis and he got nearly hit in the head with a green glowing stone that he only vaguely could tell was somehow not ectoradium. After that? Nothing.

Aka: Kryptonite is highly compressed ectoplasm and causes Danny to get black out drunk just by being in its vicinity.

P.S. I also would love to see what chaos you think Danny would get up to lol

[hijinxinprogress]

The JL finds out Captain Marvels identity and regrets it immensely

JL find out Captain Marvels a child and they start trying to parent him and just being awkward so it’s decided that Captain Marvel will join YJ (Clark started referring to Billy only as ‘son’ and ‘young man’ one time Billy saw an airplane and Clark leaned down and went “That there, son, is called an airplane and it-” “I’ll fucking stab you istg”)

To the public Captain Marvel is just extra supervision for YJ but the hero community knows it’s a way to discretely move Captain Marvel onto a team with people his age and be ‘safer’

But it doesn’t work out the way they want bc Billy’s a chaos gremlin much like YJ so they’re just doing dumb shit in the public eye bc they technically have ‘adult supervision’ (it takes Billy fifteen minutes to convince yj to go against being supervised by green lanterns)

“We’re literally your coworkers??” “I’ve literally never seen you before besides isn’t it illegal for cops to question a minor without their guardian present? 🤨” “Technically, he’s not their coworker bc he’s not in the jl anymore” “Kon” “What? I’m just saying!” “Stfu wait does Marvel even have a guardian??” “He doesn’t”

Anita and Billy are trading magic tips and teaching each other spells they should NOT have access to esp bc they’ve blown up thirteen city blocks and 1/4 of almost every planet they’ve visited with YJ

Cassie and Billy play high stakes games of catch above the earths atmosphere with missiles and shit in their free time and also during missions

Kon and Billy do just plain dumb shit they have no business doing and then playing up the ‘I’m just a baby…and I’m not even really human/I didn’t have a childhood so how would I know that I shouldn’t do that?’ excuse after bankrupting Luthor for the third time this month along with demolishing all of his newly renovated buildings (Which he and Greta repurposed to create low income housing and food pantries)

Cissie invites Marvel to all her Olympic events and he shows up to every single one with an obnoxiously large magical banner

Bart and Billy plan quips, one liners, and trash talk together and everyone hates it bc they only use the good ones on them but villains (along with everyone in their immediate vicinity) are subjected exclusively to shit like “nuh uh” and “make me”

Greta and Billy are taking down shady government operations with zero fucks to give (they had houses built for the people affected but they did also send a very long list of people to the hospital/morgue)

Billy makes Tim a magic skateboard that flies at like Mach 1 with so many magic cameras it’s concerning bc he thinks Tim being unhinged is funny especially it inconveniences or at least stresses out batman

But they’re mostly talking about what lies they’ve told the jl recently so they can plan their lies around each other “I lied to batman yesterday so you gotta back me up” and Tim’s fabricating evidence despite having no other information bc Billy will 100% “Aren’t you a so called ‘ethical’ billionaire? Nonono it’s whatever, I just thought you’d want to look out for the people but-”

And JL tries to lecture Billy about it ‘you should be more mature. I expected better’ and he’s just like ‘why?? I’m baby 🥺 I don’t know any better’ 

And Green Arrow’s so goddamn confused bc ‘Bro?? I’ve watched you do negotiations when Superman’s not available…’ ‘I’m just a little guy’ ‘I’VE WATCHED YOU STOP A WHOLE ASS INVASION IN TEN MINUTES’ ‘little baby man’ ‘But you’re one of the strongest members of the league???’ ‘You do know I couldn’t tie my own shoes like six years ago, right?’ ‘HOW OLD ARE YOU’ ‘Wouldn’t you like to know’

YJ and Billy just do a bunch of petty shit until JL has had enough and they’re like fine whatever it wasn’t a problem before

[carterstarlight25]

Hi everyone! So I been thinking hard on a rather unique 3way crossover that I been considering about writing. Please feel free to give me your input.

The 3 way crossover consist of DC x DP x Halo Infinite. With the ships being Jason and Danny (Obviously). Master Chief and Bruce as the second ship to be included. And Tim Simping for Katrina. (Cortana 2.0 from Infinite)

I see these possible dynamics being cute as Chief will learn how to be human, and how to love. Him and Team Phantom Finding Family. Also I don't mean the bull Chief pulled in the god awful Halo TV Show!

Bruce will learn that killing isn't an act of God. It isn't you kill once, and become a mindless murderer. That there is a difference, between a Soldier doing his duty to protect humanity and his loved ones. And a mindless killer, enjoying the horror of its victims as the bleed out with please for mercy. Effectively stealing their innocent lives... Oh also learn to not be as emotionally constipated after Katrina effectively out smarts him into a therapy session with Jazz Nightingale. (Last name changed after she saved Danny from the their parents lab…)

Danny will learn what it means to be apart of a family. And how screwed the GIW are.~

Jason, finds out he’s ghost pregnant and a heavy underdeveloped Halfa. All while the Pit becomes a full ghost that he ends up birthing. Which is gonna be a Dinosaur that will be Jason’s “Nightmare.” To his Fright Knight. (I am really wanting to go for Altispinax, or Spinax Vivosaur from Fossil Fighters series. But idk, might just use the Giga from Jurassic World Dominion. Just to change it up from what I seen people have the Pits become.

How Chief comes into the story however, would be introduced via Clockwork leaving a very obviously placed Halo Infinite Xbox Game case with a unmarked disc inside it. In an Alley Danny was taking refuge in. With a sticky note of course. And a few chapters in, when he was alone in Wayne Manor decided to play the game. And by Play. I mean go ghost and jump into the game. But of course. With his Fabulous Phantom Luck (trademark pending.) A new power began to make itself known as the code latched on him on his way out. Bringing Master Chief and Katrina to life in the real world, with all his memories and Katrina with the entire UNSC Database.)

While that’s how I plan to bring in Chief and Co. the main gist of this will be an all out battle, to destroy the GIW. Outlaws, Sirens, Chief and the entire Batfam Team up.

Despite the JL repealing the Anti Ecto Acts. A few Private donors continue to find them to get their hands on Ectoplasm. The League of Assassin’s, Lex Luthor. And of Course Vlad Masters will be the main villains connected to the GIW.

I can see Jason and Chief getting along like wildfire. And when Bruce finds out Jason is one leading the squad his kids, trying to get them to go on a date with Master Chief. It leads to some funny moments I would think. And of course can’t forget Chief reluctantly surprise appearance in Civies at one of Bruce’s Gala’s. (I kinda wanna make him wear Olive Green suit and dress pants. Black Bow Tie with a white under suit. Black belt. And an Olive Green Military Cap to hide his Neural Implant. Maybe having all his Medals from the service pinned to his chest. At least the ones that match ones in this universe. So not all of them obviously.

And Jason would absolutely catch his father freeze up when he sees the handsome Spartan.

For looks regarding Chief’s face since we don’t know what he looks like. I was thinking Caucasian Male, short brown hair that could be the right height to spike it up at least. Not a complete buzz cut. Rather bright blue eyes. That do not glow like Danny’s. But at least around that color. Of course he will have some scars on his left Temple, his lip and across his right eye. Freckles too. His muscle mass would of course be a bit more built then Jason. Which says something. But, you know. Super Soldier and all. (Update: I did in-fact Draw it ^^. If you want to see. Let me know if you wanna see Master Chief in a suit at the Gala ^^)

The Ages I was gonna go for was as follows.

Alfred: Immortal (Thanks Clockwork!)

John (Master Chief): 46yrs (I know it’s not his cannon Age. But it’s what I want for the story.)

Bruce: 45yrs

Barbara: 29yrs

Dick: 26yrs

Jazz: 21yrs

Jason: 21yrs

Cass: 20yrs

Sam: 20yrs

Danny: 19yrs

Duke: 19yrs

Steph: 19yrs

Tucker: 19yrs

Val: 19yrs

Tim: 18yrs

Ellie: 14yrs

Damien: 12yrs

Katrina: 6 months old

And that’s the little Fanfic I been thinking about. Of course it’s just an idea. but I think it would be fun to write.

[wolfsbanesparks]

Just now realizing I might have asked you a similar question in an ask before, sorry!

But I wanted to add on to it with a funny little thing

Geeen Lantern (Hal): Hey, Cap, it's been bugging me but I gotta ask, what's with you and your evil nemesis's daughter? You two a thing like Bats and that scary assassin lady?

Captain Marvel (Billy Batson, spitting out his juice): W-WHAT?!

Cyborg: Yeah, what's up with that? I've seen her on the news before, she doesn't seem evil like her old man, and she seems really fond of you. Hiding something from us, man?

Super-man (who totally wasn't eavesdropping the entire time): Oh? Did the Captain finally find someone? That's great! :D Tell me us more!

Batman: Alright, listen very carefully, Captain, when it comes to dating a villain's daughter-

Captain Marvel: AND IM OUTTA HERE BYEEE-

Just the awkwardness of the league trying to give Cap dating advice is hilarious to me

Oh my gosh this is absolutely hilarious!

I'm a sucker for the Justice League giving Cap awkward dating advice, especially in this sort of scenario where they are honestly way more clueless than they realize.

Because I honestly feel like after a certain point of knowing each other and fighting together, lots of the JL members would be inclined to "help" Cap find someone. They all think he's a catch but that he's just shy about romance (only a few are aware of how desperately he tries to avoid it). They want to see him happy, but mistakenly think a romantic partner would help.

So when news hits that he's built a rapport with the beautiful Beautia Sivana who is very openly flirtatious/in love with him, they all want to know every detail.

Half of them (like Batman) are warning him about not being lured in by a pretty face if she's related to a villain. The other half are trying to hype him up and convince him to ask her out. The ladies of the JL are trying to advise him on how to treat a lady on a date.

Cap can't escape. Every time he saves/helps/speaks to Beautia there is a new wave of interactions just like this.

Is their advice helpful? Probably not as much as they think it is.

Are both Cap and Billy mortified? Yes absolutely.

Is everyone on the jl mortified when they find out about little Billy being privy to their love advice? Also yes.

This is so funny to me and I love seeing stuff like this! It's just so fun!

Thanks for the ask!

[llycaons]

ep37: a-qing just can't catch a break

the way his face just lights up when he has the opportunity to do something helpful...I mean I kind of get it but also. kid. get a hobby besides being a teacher's pet PLEASE

ohh neat. wwx talked a lot in the book about commoner's solutions to problems without cultivator involvement. it would have been nice to see a more pointed critique of the highly specialized and often impractical and elitist education the rich sect kids get

I love this shot. so mysterious and eerie! and he is so handsome <3

it makes me so mad that wwx is joking about a-qing's looks, not so much because I care about him being a dick and scaring the kids on purpose, but because it's a shitty and narrow-minded way to view a young person who is clearly suffering some kind of horrible...death? every single junior includes some comment on her beauty or looks and it's so annoying. she's more than that! she deserves more!

wwx scolding jl for emulating jc and sounding like a brat (or maybe more accurately to wwx's complaints, a little bitch) is weirdly satisfying to me. no he thinks the way jc raised jl sucks, actually, and he's trying to fix jl's attitude. here jl goes along with wwx's prank and then yells at him afterwards, even though he himself played along. a bit different from the jc situation sin he's a child, but I imagine wwx got irritated when he was younger a lot when jc would go along with his schemes and them turn around and complain about him as if he didn't particupate

STOP WEARING HIS FACE! YOU SICK FUCK. it's so bizarre to see xxc in black that I didn't even recognize him this time around. with the eyes hidden, it's a bit harder to tell

when I was reading swbts this weekend, she mentions that nobody actually follows all the precepts, because it's impractical and absurd. but there were some really obvious ones like 'don't murder' and it's nice to see that the lan precepts include some good things in there besides the well-criticized 'don't laugh without a cause' and such. also, lwj is the only person following every single one anyway and that doesn't have anything to do with whether he's a good person or whether he thinks wwx is a good person, either. they're really not connected and his character development is realizing that

aww, they're all offering their blood up. this little scene where wwx asked if anyone has blank talismans and commenting on their cultivation level was also explained further in the books - strong cultivators can write their own, but still-learning kids need to bring talismans that have already been written

wwx's face here is so sad. he admired sl and xxc so much and wanted to emulate them, and to see them come to an end like this...must be devastating. as if he hadn't already lost so much

ALSO the idea that would-be lovers turned on each other and tried to kill each other. I imagine that would be very difficult for wwx given his own history with lwj

spooky!

ssc's actor did so well. that smile is all xy

WEI WUXIAN CALLING XY A DRAMA QUEEN

help why did he say it like that

oh damn that's jgy

xy interacting with wwx is so funny to me honestly. like a huge fanboy. his greatest psychosexual obsession is with xxc but he definitely has a thing for wwx too I know he wants to be topped or something

classic line. we love not dehumanizing our autistic undead friend 👍

STOP CARESSING HIS SWORD YOU CREEPY FUCK

oh and this is also funny. wwx like 'are you bullying me since I'm still recovering?' (implying he IS recovering and could still rebuild a core 👀 and xy being like 'yep! as you recall I am a delinquent and I am acting like it!' and wwx being like 'no fair. MAN'

omg and as soon as lwj appears and xy is like 'hehe we meet again' and lwj just refuses to answer, summons xxc's sword, and delivers THIS devastating line. love it. no bullshit. no tolerance

I feel like xy recognizes lwj as objectively handsome but he's not really into him

his two-bladed sword is so sick too bad he's evil

I don't really think about villains in terms of whether they're 'redeemable' or not and I don't like to think of people as ontologically evil but man I don't think xy was ever going to be anything besides what he was. it did suck that he was mutilated as a child, and it must have been difficult growing up on the streets, but the glee with which he talks about mass murder makes me think he would have kind of taken any excuse to go wild and murder a ton of people. 'oh he just needed love and understand' well he got it! and he used it to trick the person who loved him into murdering more people and then he tortured and murdered their teenage ward/friend. I can appreciate a reading where he's more harmless and just funny in his destructiveness, but I will never be able to swallow AUs where he's genuinely a good person. loving murder is just too much a part of him!

there's also a line where the juniors make wwx say that lwj is good at stuff and he seems very taken aback to be asked, which is weird bc aren't they at least traveling companions? maybe he was confused at being asked to give an account with authority since he knows the kids still think he's a random jin exile who's known lwj for like. a few weeks max. man I don't like that moment, it seems really forced and awkward even if wwx is still in his 'I don't quite understand why lwj is doing this or how long it'll last' era. which also seems weird given them moments they've already shared and the comfort wwx has in stating with lwj? man, maybe it's easier if he doesn't have to think about it or explain it to other people. I GUESS

god this sucks....that's his last connection to his mama

A QING!!!!!!!!

wwx comforting her is so. he's been such a dick to the kids this episode so it's nice to remember what a kind person he is when it really counts. and a-qing hasn't felt human touch in a very long time

and when he says he'll do empathy, it's jl who objects! one of those 'aw, he really does care' moments

personal highlights:

while this wasn't as horribly dull and poorly done as the last third-party character focused plot (I seriously spent a lot of 34 thinking 'oh god, cql is bad after all), it didn't offer a lot in terms of special moments or humor. a solid 5/10. mediocre. let's see

wwx talking about folk remedies

the kids offering their blood. because they love him

wwx calling xy a drama queen

wwx seeing sl and xxc's bodies and realizing what state they're in. that shit hurted

"you don't deserve this sword' TELL HIM HANGUANG-JUN

[mirrorhunt]

I’ve got red in my ledger

betrayal | misunderstanding | broken nose

It's another late night, and Raffi has a talk with Rios

Raffi tries to choose. Bourbon or whiskey? Not that that matters. She’ll be drunk by the end of the first bottle both ways. Seven would say bourbon, Rios would prefer his hell-drink that's closer to Romulan ale than anything that could’ve been made on Earth. Besides, it smells like panettone she once made long-long ago. 

Bourbon it is. Raffi selects a combination and waits for her bottle. It’s late. Everyone with less demons than she has is asleep. She knows Seven is with Picard, giving him a lecture about his snapping at Soji today. Elnor and Soji are in their cabins. Agnes was having a headache and retired before dinner. That’s left Rios. And she has no idea where he was. She thinks she saw him in the morning while she was waiting for Picard to hurry up with his tea, but not after. Not once. She doesn’t remember there being trouble with the ship, but she wasn’t really paying attention to whatever Enoch was saying, left on the bridge alone. 

And, speaking of the devil, Rios appears. He has a smudge of something dark on his face, and he’s rubbing his hands off the rag. 

“Where were you hiding? La Sirena is not that big of a ship,” asks Raffi, pointing on the two-stories deck. 

“What? Oh, in the tubes. There was a leak in the cooling system, so I had to take a look,” he says dismissively, still trying to rub the grease off. 

“And it took you all day?” 

“Wha… What time is it?” frowns Cris, finally letting go of the rag. 

“It’s almost midnight,” shrugs Raffi, unscrewing the bottle. 

“Shit”, he throws the rag on the table, eyeing Raffi’s bottle. “Did something happen while I was there?”

Raffi shrugs. 

“Picard yelled at Soji for some bullshit, Seven’s dealing with him, kids went to sleep, and Agnes had a headache,” summarizes the day Raffi, taking a drink. 

“Shit,” repeats Cris, sighing. “I’ll ask Agnes in the morning. Is Soji alright?”

“Oh, she’d almost bitten his head off, she’ll be fine. I gave her some ice cream and it snapped her out of her murderous rampage,” Raffi waves her hand dismissively. 

“Good job,” says Cris, relaxing and ordering some dinner for himself. 

Raffi drinks while he eats, they both silent, Cris probably because he’s tired and she… Well, she’s just on the “don’t talk to me” stage right now. 

“Wanna go to the bridge?” suggests Cris, disposing of his plate. “I need to check out if I’ve done it right.”

“Yeah, sure,” agrees Raffi, hardly remembering when it was just them talking. With so many people on board, it was close to impossible to find a moment for just two of them. She doesn’t really want to talk, but with Cris it has always been easy to be quiet. They both have their own history and no one wants to pry on the pain of the other, apart when it’s necessary. Or when Raffi’s curiosity takes better of her. 

That first year when Cris got La Sirena, was fun. She teased him halfheartedly every time he called her, hearing loneliness in his voice. He’ll never say this, but he missed the ‘Fleet’s comradery. She knows, because she missed it too. It wasn’t so much for exciting adventures, going to where no one has gone before or whatever, but the crew. That feeling of belonging, of family, being surrounded by people who care if you live or die. It makes her want to live. And, remembering how the First Officer of Ibn Majid was with his crewmates that time she met him, he was the same. 

Maybe that’s why they get each other. Why they stick together. They both were betrayed by Starfleet for different reasons, and now the people, for whom they once would die for, who once were their family, hate them. 

She thinks back to the time when Picard contacted her and asked for a civilian pilot. She knew a ton of them, sure, but could think only of Cris. She knew Cris and Picard had a lot in common, and hoped it’ll do Rios good to talk with someone like JL. She just didn’t think Picard would bring a small army with him. Probably Cris needs to design his own uniform now. With hats and feathers. 

“No,” shakes his head Cris. Raffi frowns. “I said you then and I’m saying it now – no uniform.”

Oh. She must’ve talked out loud. Oh well.

“But that’s not a rejection of hats,” points out Raffi, sipping from the bottle. “You do look great in hats.”

“No hats.”

“Boring,” sighs Raffi, looking at the holo-screens. ETA is still two days away. She hates long journeys. 

Cris ignores her, checking whatever it was from his captain chair. Raffi takes another swing. 

“So why did Picard yell at the kid? What’s his problem this time?” says Rios, still going through his holo-screen. 

“Something about her still not trusting him,” Raffi winces, remembering the look on Soji’s face. The kid has her reasons not to trust them. She was fooled her whole life, even about who she really was. It’s natural. But Jl got used to people trusting him without a question just because he’s Picard. And he betrayed those people too. So what’s his problem with one more person not trusting him? 

“Well, maybe he should take his ass from his head,” Cris shakes his head. Raffi snorts. “What?”

“I thought I was the drunk one.”

Cris looks confused. Then, understanding, he gives her a half-smile and looks like he would throw something on her if there was anything nearby. He wouldn’t throw his cigar cutter, and definitely not cigars. So Raffi just snickers with mirth.

“And Agnes?” Cris drops the subject, and Raffi knows that he will check on Soji in the morning. He loves the kid, and she can’t blame him, especially knowing now what happened on Ibn Majid. 

“She’s fine. Emil told that she was just tired and needed to drink more water and rest. I ordered her to go to sleep.”

“You? Ordered her?”

“She loves orders,” Raffi huffs, and Cris sends her a warning glare. She ignores him. “I can understand now why you like her that much.”

“What does that mean?” Cris shifts in his chair. Raffi knows it means “run for your life”, but again, ignores him. She has almost a full bottle of bourbon inside of her, she has no self-defense mechanism. 

“Well, you didn’t look at her twice when she first came on board. Just a cute little doctor, who bit off more than she could chew. Who knew she would be a Romulan spy.”

Cris says nothing. Raffi drinks the rest and puts the bottle down. 

“I…” Cris’ voice is hoarse, like he wants to defend himself, but has no argument against her accusations. 

“I mean, she became so brave and found her voice right after Maddox died. Her friend as we thought back then. She barely cried, poor thing, and I thought, huh, the kid is more broken than I thought. Who knew she killed him in cold blood while we were thinking she was so naïve and too good to be there with all of us. But no. Little Agnes appeared to be right where she needed to be. With people who everyone thinks betrayed them. But the thing is – we know we didn’t betray them. And she did betray us.”

“Stop it,” almost growls Cris. Raffi laughs cruelly. 

“A Romulan spy on your ship and in your bed. That’s funny. And I thought she was an interesting choice, knowing about your Marquisa and that Iotian, Ledger, yeah? You must’ve felt she wasn’t so innocent then. I always thought your taste in women will kill you sometime. But, I think, now that that weird-ass crystal is out of her system, you’re probably safe.”

“Why are you so wound up about this?” asks Cris incredulously and hurt. 

“She almost killed us all! She wanted to leave the kids and JL to the Romulans!” Raffi is just about to scream with frustration. She had been thinking about that day for a long time. 

“She was scared!” 

“Yeah. So scared, she wouldn’t just tell us. Like we wouldn’t help her,” Raffi’s hands are itching to squeeze the bottle now.

Cris is silent for a moment. Raffi crosses her arms and buries deeper in the chair. 

“Maybe it was my fault,” sighs Rios, and Raffi takes pity on him. 

“It was Oh’s fault and her fanatic ideas. How could this be your fault?”

“I… I told her something that maybe guilt tripped her,” says Cris. Raffi turns to face him. 

“And what could’ve you possibly said to her to trigger… that reaction?” Raffi points her head towards the sickbay. 

“Well… I… Uh…” Cris shoots her a guilty look, and Raffi frowns. 

“What is it?”

She had never seen Cris so uncomfortable. Not even before that stupid undercover mission on Freecloud in that ridiculous suit that he somehow had pulled off. 

Suddenly she remembers something. Something she dismissed at times, thinking Cris was just stressed and trying to make weird jokes.

“You thought I was a spy?” calmly asks Raffi despite a storm of too well known emotions rising up in her.

 “Raffi...” sighs Rios, but Raffi stops him with her hand.

“You thought I would put you in danger? You, Elnor, and JL? Because, what? I had a couple of conspiracy theories? About how Romulans were planning to kill us all? That’s why I would’ve helped them?” Raffi almost hisses in anger. Who does he think she is?!

“You were out on Freecloud, alone, not planning to come back, and then you changed your mind! We had a Romulan tail, and we knew that the snakehead was trying to track us down to find Picard and Soji, what could I think?” shouts Cris, standing up. Raffi follows him. 

“Well, if you remembered that I told you that I had a son and was meeting with him, maybe you would think better that time!”

“Yeah, and maybe there was no son. Maybe it was just a catch,” coldly says Rios, and a chill runs down Raffi’s spine. 

“Why would I lie about him?!”

“Well, you tell me, ex-Intelligence agent Raffaela Musicer.”

Raffi swings her hand. One second, and Rios stumbles backwards, grunting in pain and holding his nose. 

“Son of a bitch,” hisses Raffi, stomping away and trying to hold her tears at bay.

“What is the nature of your emergency?” she hears behind her and grits her teeth. Rios doesn’t deserve the treatment. She wants him to hurt like she is hurting. 

“What is this about?” 

Oh, great. Just what she needs. Picard and his holier than thou attitude. 

“Raffi?” and Seven is with him. Damn it. 

Raffi holds a hand up, going past them as quickly as she can. She’ll be safe in her cabin. She can have another bottle there. 

[thefightingbull]

Sequestered

3 weeks. 21 days. 504 hours. 30,240 minutes. 1,814,400 seconds.

Jason was doing math. In his head. Because he was bored. Worse? He was irritated. Not because of the boredom, but because he was going to spend nearly two million seconds sequestered from the rest of the world with his brothers inside an 864 sq. ft. apartment.

“It’ll be a well-deserved vacation,” Dick smiled genially from the kitchen table. “The JL can take care of whatever is happening out there.”

“-tt- As if anyone of us will survive this quarantine,” Damian scowled. He was perched on the back of the couch that Jason was currently lying on.

“As long as you behave yourself, we’ll be fine,” Tim replied sitting at Jason’s small table with his laptop on the opposite side of Dick. “Besides, you didn’t have to come along, Demon Spawn.”

“Neither did you,” Jason pointed out beneath at least three thick blankets. “Actually, not a fucking one of you needed to show up! In fact, had you not, you could be out there with Bruce instead of taking up my clean air, my food, and my limited fucking space!”

Not one of his brothers showed him an ounce of pity or sympathy. They all three looked at him with their varying shades of light-colored eyes. Damian looked disgusted. Tim snarky, and Dick? Well, Dick might have looked at him with a touch of guilt in his eyes.

Dick should though. This whole stupid thing was his fault. Dickie-Bird heard that Jason had a fever and just had to show up to check on him. While he was at it, Golden Boy might as well drag their dipshit brothers along and really make everyone uncomfortable. It wasn’t like the whole nation was about to panic and insist on quarantine’s or anything.

Jason sniffed hard, trying to rearrange the “congestion” in his sinus cavities.

“Just blow your nose, Jason,” Tim sneered as he scrunched his own.

“Fuck you, it’s my house, I’ll deal with my mucus however the hell I want!” he grumbled, ignoring the croaky quality of his voice.

“Guys let’s not fight. We’re just at the beginning of this quarantine. We can’t be at each other’s throats already.” Dick frowned.

“This is lame,” Damian huffed and slid down to rest atop Jason’s ankles. “You don’t think they’ll forget to feed my pets?”

Jason’s heart softened just a touch at the concern Damian showed toward another living being. He tried to sigh but ended up coughing instead. Luckily, Dick was on it.

“Alfred would never forget about the animals in your room, Dami,” The oldest offered gently.

“Unless you’re hiding more than he knows about, then those ones will probably starve,” Tim shrugged.

Jason shouldn’t have laughed, but he couldn’t help it. It was vicious and nasty and very much in Tim’s wheelhouse when it came to Damian. He kind of liked Tim’s dark side. The kid took a lot of shit from Damian in particular. It was good to see him stand up for himself.

“Tim!” Dick scolded. “That’s not funny, Jason!”

“My cell phone is dead, let me use yours, Todd.”

Jason rolled his eyes and pulled the phone from his pocket. He really didn’t mean for tickle in his nose to catch him off guard, but it did and Jason wound up sneezing on his phone when he instinctively brought up his hands.

“Gross!” Tim chuckled.

Dick however came to the rescue as usual. One hand held out some tissues for Jason and the other was handing Damian the requested cell phone. “I’ll grab you some wipes for your phone, Jason,”

“Thanks,” Jason mumbled, tossing the slimed device on the coffee table beside the couch.

Damian pulled out his cell phone and immediately started trying to get a hold of Alfred. “Alfred? I… I have a raccoon. It’s in my closet. Yes. I know… Up in the crawl space… You will? You promise?”

“I know I’m surprised, how about you guys?” Tim snickered.

Jason grinned, as Damian flipped Tim off. Dick frowned at the antics, but he was moving about Jason’s apartment. His older brother took the liberty of cleaning up, a rarity in and of itself, but Jason wouldn’t argue. He wasn’t going to touch his phone again until it was clean.

“You know, I don’t have the virus they think I do,” Jason explained. “It’s just a common cold.”

“No one’s going to let us take that chance,” Tim sighed. “Bruce says he’ll have some supplies dropped off, but I gotta say, I’m more worried about him.”

Jason shook his head. “Don’t be. Without us around to bug him, he’ll be a lot more effective. Especially since most of the criminals are hiding, too. It’s not like they can just waltz into a hospital if they get sick.”

Dick blinked as he held Jason’s phone in one gloved hand, the other scrubbing down the device with an electronic safe sanitary wipe. “You know, that’s actually a good point. Black Mask isn’t offering medical and neither is Two-Face.”

“Penguin and Black Mask might,” Tim disagreed. “They both have a legitimate business.”

“Maybe they have a bad guy hospital,” Jason laughed. “Could you imagine?”

Timothy grinned. “Half of them seem to be doctors, it wouldn’t surprise me.”

Even Damian couldn’t help but snicker. “-tt- Mr. Freeze is the safest in his suit. They’d make him do all the check ups and testing.”

“Harley would be on hand for psychological support,” Dick added with a barely restrained laugh.

“For as poor and pathetic as our city is, education is of the utmost importance in Gotham. Especially among criminals,” Jason smiled to himself. “Speaking of doctors gone evil, I wanna watch Hannibal.”

“You can’t, Dami’s too young,” Dick denied.

“What!” Jason exclaimed.

“He’s an assassin Dick, I doubt there’s anything more gruesome than his own actions on that show,” Tim shrugged.

“It’s happens to contain graphic sex, gaslighting, and other themes that are not suitable for children!” Dick defended his stance.

“Did you read that off the Parental Guidance box?” Jason asked suspiciously.

“I’m not a baby. I can handle a primetime television show,” Damian insisted.

“No,” Dick shook his head. “I am not giving on this, find something appropriate to watch.”

Jason grinned triumphantly and pointed immediately to his shelf of movies and television series. “Pride and Prejudice, it is! I want the BBC series with Colin Firth, top shelf, third to the left.”

Dick’s eyes widened at his mistake as Tim and Damian groaned. Jason coughed for effect, pulling his brother from the agony of his defeat. He clapped his hands in the obnoxious “chop, chop” call to action that Jason knew irritated everyone.

Three weeks with his brothers? It might be a small space, but it was his small space, filled with his favorite things. He had hours and hours of books to listen to, read, or thanks to miniseries events, watch. After Pride and Prejudice he might even go with Jane Eyre just to really torture them all.

They thought they had him beat when the quarantine was first announced. Ha! They’d crack long before he did.

[djinmer4]

MDZS Dream

SCRevenge scenario

Cloud Recesses burns, Lotus Pier dies as in canon, the Jin side with the Wens.  JC gets his core melted and gets released by WN, but the Jiangs never meet up again so WWX has no opportunity to give his core to JC.  JYL gets captured and forcibly married to JZX, to give the Jins some claim over Lotus Pier (a bribe from the Wens).  NMJ goes underground fighting against the Wens, ends up killing Wen Xu at some point.  Rather than focus on NMJ, WRH decides to attack the Unclean Realm, reasoning that NMJ will have to give up once he has NHS.

Except it doesn’t actually work that way and NHS proves way more competent at defensive strategy than anyone ever expects.  In the end, WRH has to reverse strategies, catching NMJ (with some assistance from MY) and using that to have NHS surrender.

Of course, despite having essentially conquered the entire cultivator area, doesn’t mean it’s all smooth sailing for WRH.  For one, despite being the largest cultivator sect, the Wens have vastly overextended themselves.  They can’t actually afford to replace all of the current administration, especially with people like LXC and WWX running a resistance against them.  So NHS rules Qinghe Nie as the Wens viceroy, with the threat that if anything happens, NMJ will be the one to suffer for it.

That doesn’t stop him from coordinating with JYL and LXC, and becoming the mastermind behind the resistance (he even eventually gets WQ and WN on board), but there’s nothing WRH can actually trace back to him.  Indeed, NHS sets it up so that WRH starts suspecting the Jins are behind the rebellion rather than anyone else, and JGS’s blatant power plays don’t help his cause.

At least part of this is due to getting MY to help the cause.  NHS doesn’t fully trust MY since he betrayed NMJ (NHS gets at least one other spy, SMY maybe, into Nightless City.), but if MY protects NMJ from any permanent damage in the Fire Palace, NHS will force JGS to acknowledge MY at the end of the war.  Except as time goes on, MY actually does get disillusioned and goes from wanting JGS approval to wanting him humiliated.

NHS meets JC along the way (although my dream didn’t tell me how).  JC ends up splitting his time working as an assassin for NHS (swords yes, but also demonic cultivation) or as his bodyguard.  They start a relationship along the way.  JC really isn’t the leader of Yunmeng Jiang at this point (JYL has been recruiting like mad, and the survivors reluctantly admit that for a cultivation clan they’d rather have a weak cultivating woman for a leader rather than a non-cultivator man), so they actually make plans that if they both survive, JC will marry into the Nie Sect.  A little something to look forward to.

Endgame starts with NHS going to visit WC.  He brings JC with him (so that JC can scout out Nightless City), and it was a pretty funny scene because NHS dresses up JC as his female concubine.  WC *squints* “You’re concubine looks an awful lot like the Violet Spider.”

NHS *breezily*: “She’s from Meishan Yu.  With Yunmeng Jiang gone they’re kind of desperate for an ally.  The Lans don’t do arranged marriages or concubines, everyone knows JGS has no problem abandoning his sex toys and there’s no way your father would you to have a potential assassin as a concubine.  I think they’re hoping I marry her” *leers at JC* “Besides, whatever Madame Yu’s faults, no one ever said she was ugly.”

WC: “That’s true.  Hey mind if I try her out for myself?”

NHS *shocked noises*: “WC, I’ve barely had a chance to taste her at all!  Save me some face and at least wait a few months before asking.  Besides, don’t your tastes usually run towards?” *makes hourglass gesture with his hands*

WLJ: “Exactly!  No one that flat could compare to me!” *starts making out with WC to prove that point*

JC *extremely petty, also starts making out with NHS because he’s like that*

NHS *Pikachu face because he was absolutely not expecting to get any on this trip*

Opening move of the endgame was actually killing JGS, then puppeteering his body (JC’s demonic cultivation) to have the Jin sect attack the Wens.  Stuff happens, JZX (both of them) die because unlike canon JYL never warms up to him again and has no problem with WWX offing her husband.  Besides, she already has JL by this point and she’s going to keep him to be Yunmeng Jiang’s heir.

The rebellion wins, pretty much the same way with MY offing WRH form behind.  Aftermath: WQ becomes new sect head (backed up by Qinghe Nie).  However the Wens lose a lot of money and territory and are no longer a Great Sect.  YJL takes JL back with her to Lotus Pier and she and WWX (assisted by LWJ) start rebuilding Lotus Pier.  NMJ finally gets released from prison and goes back to the Unclean Realm, but he’s in no condition to take up a leadership role right away (MY might have arranged so NMJ never got permanently maimed or his core melted, but NMJ spent a great deal of time getting tortured), so NHS is stuck with it for now.  Cloud Recesses also gets rebuilt (LXC and MY aren’t friends in this because NMJ was tortured for years by MY, and LXC can’t forgive that).

The Jins are the big problem.  NHS has JGS legitimize MY as Jin Ziyao before the he ‘conveniently dies of a stress heart attack’ and now there’s a succession crisis on whether the next head should be JL or JZY.  NHS backs JZY because he was helpful during the war, even though NHS is pretty sure this is going to be a problem along the line.  Yunmeng Jiang (all three of them) also backs this decision because they really don’t want JL growing up in Koi Tower.  This wasn’t resolved by the end of the dream.

Final plot point in the dream, as part of the reparations, WQ is offering to transfer the golden cores of the surviving Wen Sect cultivators (barring her and her brother) to anyone who got their core melted (no 50/50 here, WQ has had years to perfect the procedure and she’s going to be doing it in the best equipped room in the Fire Palace rather than some Supervisory Office in the middle of nowhere).  Starting with Wen Zhuliu, who somehow survived all the way through the war but is now going to be executed.  Dream ended with NHS encouraging JC to go through the procedure, even if it would mean that that would make JC the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader again and leave NHS alone.

[areusittingcomfortably]

Their Tragic Sense of Life

Part 7

[All because I needed to explain how this happened!]

Over the years, Rios had come up with all kinds of creative ways to stay fit on La Sirena. He didn’t have enough holos for 5 aside soccer, although the ENH was always game for a kick about, even if it wasn’t in his programming and he sucked. One time he got so desperate for a bit of competition he invited the EHH to join in. Given that it was part of his programming, he turned out to be quite good, which only made Rios loathe him even more.

More often than not, Emmet was his go-to fitness buddy. He always kept Rios on his toes and gave him a good workout. The holo’s tactical and security programming meant he was skilled in all kinds of combat, so Cris had been learning a number of different fighting styles. Currently they were sparring with the double-ended spears once used by the Tekret Militia. Wooden shafts and Tritanium tips. Old school.

A comms window flickered open in front of him, and Raffi’s face appeared. He’d only just returned to La Sirena after catching up with her yesterday, and would have been on his way already if the ENH hadn’t been trying to figure out some kind of problem with the navigation sensors.

“Hey!” he yelled, ducking as Emmet thrust at him. “Did I leave something at your place?”

“What the hell are you doing?” Raffi asked.

“Training for the Tekret Militia.” he shouted, not taking his eyes off Emmet, deftly parrying the latter’s blow.

“Why?… Oh, nevermind. Put some damned clothes on.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m sending a client your way. He’ll be there any moment. Your EHH said you were ready.”

Oh, did he now? Funny he didn’t mention that. Maybe it had something to do with Rios deactivating the bugger twice that day.

“What’s the job?” he lunged sideways, trying to catch Emmet off guard, but he leapt out of the way.

“I’m gonna let him explain that.”

“Where to?” dodging another thrust from Emmet.

“He doesn’t know, yet. I’m working on it.”

He finally managed to get a decent thrust in, but Emmet twisted and parried it efficiently.

“Who? Who’s the client?”

Raffi hesitated, “Picard.”

Stunned, Rios spun to face her, dropping his spear in surprise. “Wha…?”

“Que chucha?! he swore, as Emmet failed to pull out of his lunge in time and the tip of his spear went deep into Rios’s shoulder, knocking him to his knees with the sheer force of it.

“Lo siento, lo siento.” Emmet apologised, grimacing. He yanked on the spear, trying to pull it out and only succeeding in breaking off the shaft, leaving the tip embedded in the Captain’s shoulder.

“What is the nature of your… oh!” exclaimed the EMH, with a look of horror.

“Cris? What the…?” cried Raffi.

Rios unleashed a torrent of furious curses in Spanish, clearly in a lot of pain. “I’ll call you back,” he gritted out, “did you really say Picard?”

“Yes. For fuck’s sake, Emmet!” she glared at the ETSH. “And you,” she said looking at the EMH, “sort him out. Don’t you dare de-activ…” but Rios was in too much pain to continue the conversation and had closed the comms.

Fuck, it hurt. “Hijo de puta!” he growled at Emmet, who recognised his cue to disappear.

“Get the medical kit.” Rios snapped.

“Yes, sir.” The EMH took off without delay.

Puta la wea! The pain was so intense he felt like he was about to pass out. He staggered to his feet and moved towards the pilot’s chair, trying to clear his head.

Picard. Did he really hear that right? Raffi was sending him Picard? There wasn’t a Starfleet officer alive that hadn’t dreamt of meeting Admiral Picard. Or dead, he thought grimly.

From what he knew from Raffi, though, perhaps their admiration was misplaced.

Still, it might have been nice to have been fully dressed.

He’d get the EMH to pull the blade out and pull some clothes on. They could use the dermal regenerator later, and if it scarred, well, it was only another one. He wasn’t sure what was pissing him off more, the pain in his shoulder, or the thought of meeting Admiral Picard in this state.

He’d barely made it into his chair when Picard and the EMH arrived.

Mierda. Mierda. Mierda. Concha la wea!

Hold it together, Rios, play it cool.

*****

Picard’s visit left him shaken. He thought he’d just about got his defences up in time, but the Admiral had seen through them almost immediately. He liked him, but he was uneasy about the mission. He tried to settle himself by reading, but his shoulder still hurt like hell, and then the damned ENH got in his head. “On the side of the angels.” Por la mierda! He deactivated it and called up the EMH to fix up his shoulder while he called Raffi.

“Hey.”

“Hey you. I was getting worried.” she noted with satisfaction that the EMH was tending to his shoulder. “D’you see him?”

“Yup.”

“That’s it?”

Rios made an indeterminate gesture. “I dunno, Raffi. Something feels off. Why’d you send him my way, anyway? You hoping I can drag something out of him about your big conspiracy?”

“No. Maybe. Where else am I gonna send him? You think I’d trust anyone else? What did he offer?”

“Enough to consider it. If I was sure about what ‘it’ is. You buying this stuff about the synth and her twin?”

“You’re not?”

“I don’t know Raffi. I don’t know him. You do. That’s why I’m asking.” The EMH finished healing his shoulder, and Rios gave him the briefest of nods, about as high a praise as the holo could hope for, before Rios deactivated it.

“Yeah, I do. To show up after all these years… of nothing. It means something. It’s all connected. I don’t know how, but it is.”

“And this twin – you think she’s still alive?”

“I dunno. If the Tal Shiar are after her, maybe not.”

“You coming with us?”

“No.” Raffi shook her head emphatically. “Hell no. Me and JL? We’re through.”

Rios looked at her shrewdly. For all that she claimed to be through with Picard, she also seemed concerned for his safety. “You think I should take the job?” he pressed.

“Yeah. If he pays enough.”

“But you’re definitely not coming?”

“Nope.”

“Two strips of latinum says you change your mind.”

“Two strips of latinum on there being a twin, but her being dead before Picard can find her.”

“Deal.”

*****

When Raffi asked to be beamed up, he wasn’t surprised. “Pay up!” he grinned.

“I’m not coming.”

“Sure, you aren’t.”

“I mean it. I just… wanna hitch a ride to where we’re going.”

“Any idea where that is?”

“Freecloud. And I don’t wanna talk about it.”

He didn’t press it.

Just as he’d never fully explained what happened on the ibn Majid, he knew Raffi still had a few things that haunted her, beyond what happened with the Federation and the Romulans. He’d done a little research and had his suspicions, but he said nothing. If she wanted to talk about it, she’d do so in her own time.

“It’s his mission, though,” he reminded her, “his say for the duration. You coming as my crew, or gonna ask him if you can hitch a ride?”

Raffi hadn’t though about that. “What would you do if he said no?”

“You think he will?”

“No. You’d still take me, though, right?”

“Only if you take over from the Holo Housekeeper and make everyone’s beds and sweep the floors.” he joked.

“Damn, I forgot you even had one of those.”

“Well, that’s rather the point, isn’t it? Programmed to operate in the background and never be seen. I’ve been trying to catch a glimpse of it for years, but it’s never more than flicker in the corner of my eye.”

“Couldn’t you just summon it?”

“Where’s the fun in that? What accent did you give it, by the way?”

Raffi screwed up her nose, trying to think back that far. “French, I think.”

Also on AO3

[crossdressingdeath]

requesting jiang cheng rant plz c:

MORE RANTING IT IS!

Let’s talk about JL today. I didn’t really discuss it much yesterday because it was Very Late, but there is... quite a bit to unpack here.

JC’s introduction to the novel as a whole is him yelling at JL. This is the first glimpse we get of his character (emphasis mine):

The young man had thin brows and almond eyes. His features were handsome in a sharp way, and his eyes held a composed vigor, with a slight intention of attack, appearing to be two bolts of lightning as he stared. He stood ten steps away from Wei WuXian, his expression resembling a honed arrow on the bow, ready to be released at any moment. Even his posture emitted an air of arrogance and overconfidence.

He frowned, “Jin Ling, why did you linger for so long? Do you really need me to come and pick you up? Look at what a terrible situation you’re in right now, and get up!”

- MDZS chapter 7: Arrogance (Part 2), ExR translation

Remember that JL is currently on the ground unable to move. He’s not hurt, but that should still summon... I don’t know, concern from his primary caregiver?

And take a look at that introduction. He’s described as aggressive, arrogant, and overconfident. That is not a flattering summary of his character! None of those are good traits to have, especially for a political figure like a sect leader! And yet... that’s what MXTX decided was important for the audience to know. That’s what our POV character, JC’s brother, sees when he looks at him. Arrogance and overconfidence. (Side note: he’s also described as a youth in the ExR translation, which is kind of funny given he’s in his mid-thirties by this point.)

But this is supposed to be about JL and how JC should never have been put in charge of a child, not his introduction. So, moving on.

JC’s first interaction with JL that we get to see is him finding his nephew lying on the ground having clearly just lost a fight to a demonic cultivator. You would think JC of all people would know how much damage a demonic cultivator can do, given he’s spent a solid 13 years catching and killing them. I personally have my doubts as to whether the demonic cultivators he caught were all that dangerous or just people trying to defend themselves, but that is, I’ll admit, based largely on my own dislike of him and there’s no solid evidence either way. Anyway, you would think that someone who has all but made killing demonic cultivators his full time job would realize that his nephew is in an incredibly dangerous situation and focus on making sure he’s okay before anything else. Instead... well. Let’s flash back to that bit I quoted above (emphasis mine):

He frowned, “Jin Ling, why did you linger for so long? Do you really need me to come and pick you up? Look at what a terrible situation you’re in right now, and get up!” 

Yeah. So he does know that this is bad. And yet... there’s no ‘are you okay’. There’s no attempt to put himself between his 13 year old nephew and the presumed threat who just apparently defeated him singlehandedly. The first thing he does is get mad at JL for not being able to stand. He doesn’t even check to see if JL can stand! He acts like he’s just trying to get JL out of bed on time! Way to worry about your nephew!

And this is a consistent thing, too. He always reacts to anything JL does with anger. Like, name a single time he shows concern in a healthy manner that doesn’t involve yelling or threats of violence.

There’s the meat of the whole issue with his and JL’s relationship, actually: JC is constantly threatening to hurt JL. It’s no wonder JL turned out so argumentative when the man who raised him for at least half his life spends pretty much every moment shouting insults and threats at him! It’s the same as with JC and WWX; in both cases, the other person has become so used to JC constantly threatening them that they treat it like a joke. Except it’s even worse here than it is with WWX, because JL is a child who is reliant on JC to take care of him. WWX might not have had much real freedom as the ‘son of a servant’ against the heir to his sect, but he and JC were nominally equals, and if it came down to it he could beat JC in a fight if he had to. JL is 13 years old, facing a man two decades his senior who has near-complete control over his life. I don’t think I need to explain how incredibly fucked up it is that JC won’t even restrain his temper in this situation.

JC seems to treat JL more as an extension of his own achievements than a nephew. I’m sure you all know the type; JL’s successes reflect on JC, JL’s failures are entirely his own fault and JC helping him through them is a favour that he’s doing because he’s a wonderful person and totally not because that’s his job as JL’s guardian.

The saddest part? JL doesn’t even seem to acknowledge this as weird. His uncle threatens to break his legs and he just rolls his eyes. He is so entirely used to this that it doesn’t even register as something you Shouldn’t Say To A Child. JC is such a shitty parent that JGY, manipulator extraordinaire, is a better parental figure. At least JGY got the poor kid a dog. (Actually, JGY seems to have been a rather good parent to JL, inevitable betrayal aside, and I am entirely prepared to thank him for JL’s moments of good sense. There is no greater indictment of JC’s parenting than ‘the villain who murdered his own son and betrayed literally everyone treated your mutual nephew better than you did’.)

So... yeah. I’m not even a little surprised that JL ends up clearly (if unwillingly) fond of WWX; it must be nice to have an uncle who a) isn’t trying to kill you and b) actually treats you like a child under his care who needs to be protected. I think the fact that JL is still so loyal to JC says a lot about either the quality of his life so far or his own personality. He’s a good boy who deserves an uncle who treats him like a nephew who actually has thoughts and emotions.

Wrapping up here because I am Tired, but... yeah. JC is a terrible guardian and JL probably would’ve been happier living with any other member of his vast array of uncles.

[selfcallednowhere]

March 8, 2018, Portland, OR

They opened with "Ana Ng," followed by "Damn Good Times." During the intro of the latter, when the band was already playing but Flans was talking before the vocal kicked in (which he is quite fond of doing, particularly when the song is one of the first few of the night), he said Portland is "the only town that counts." (I knew he was joking but I was still mildly bothered by this as a Seattleite dealing with the Seattle vs. Portland rivalry).

Afterwards, Flans was referring to the people who were around the edge of the room, which was blocked off by a barrier--he said they were in East Berlin. John: "We hope you'll think about what you did." Then he said that Flans hadn't said the thing about this being "the only town that matters" at any of the other shows they've done on this tour, and Flans said it's because a big percentage of the population of Portland is rock critics. Then he said that thing that keeps making me so sad, about how they have a new album and when they say they're going to play a song from it we should pretend to be enthusiastic about it.

After "I Left My Body" (great as always), "Your Racist Friend" (still meh on this song but I do love the trumpet-party-break section with Curt), and "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal" (causing me to rock way out), John got out his contra-alto clarinet. He said it's "lower than the bass clarinet and at war with the alto clarinet."

They played "All Time What," then Flans asked John what he'd done all day. He said he'd "wandered around and dodged the raindrops--apparently it rains in this town." Flans said he did not go to the record store (there's an Everyday Music very close to the venue that he's been known to frequent when they're in town), which meant he had more money than he otherwise would've.

There was some funny banter after that. Flans said they'd gotten to stay at an actual nice hotel the night before, which was unusual for them. Then John said they were wearing crooked top hats and saying "We're gonna make it some day!" Flans said the hotel looked like "a movie set from the '30s," and they took something off a tray of food that probably cost $40. John said they were going to escape on a luggage cart disguised as luggage, and Flans compared them to Harpo Marx. Then John said that next they'd be running and their feet would make bongo sounds. So silly!

They played "Turn Around," which was SO GOOD, much better than the night before when John hadn't used his accordion due to technical difficulties.

After "Spy" and "The Mesopotamians," Flans explained that they're playing two sets, and the second set was "all hits," but they were hits by other bands. John said they're not even good bands, and Flans said they're "under the thumbs of our management," who are really mean to them.

They played "This Microphone," and then Flans said it's on their new album. He said it just came out on vinyl, and that it's a gatefold sleeve, which you can "clean your Oregon pot on."

Flans introduced "Bills, Bills, Bills" by again explaining how they'd been to the AV Club to cover a song for them. He said they first did "Tubthumping," but they weren't going to be playing that tonight because "if you sing it once you'll be singing it all week." He said he was going to be Kelly, John was going to be Beyonce ("a role he originated on Broadway"), and "the members of the band not with us will be playing the part of Michelle." So then they played it, and as always I was completely enraptured by Flans's full-on diva-ness.

They closed out the first set with "Birdhouse in Your Soul," which is a perfect set closer cos there's so much energy in the room when they play it.

Second set started the usual way, with the "Last Wave" video (which I was really tired of at this point, I never really liked it much in the first place and this was like the millionth time I'd seen it) and then "Older" to kick off Quiet Storm. I've been enjoying it on the contra-alto clarinet so much that it'll be a bit sad to (presumably) go back to it on keyboard when all this is over.

Flans pointed out the balcony was really far back and said it was "a mistake." John said it was the section for nursing mothers, and Flans said they'd combined that with the section for cigar smokers.

Flans introduced "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too" by saying it was "one of the first songs we wrote," and then confessed that they're actually vampires (explains a lot!). John said not to post that on social media, but then said that it actually wouldn't matter because they wouldn't show up.

After they played it, Flans said not enough people were taking pictures with their phones, and he was "distracted by not being distracted."

Next was MY THEME SONG, still intense and special and emotional and wonderful every single time. It makes me sad to realize that this tour may be the only time I'll get to see it, but I'm just grateful to have been able to as many times as I have.

Flans said that the electronic drums have "all the power of EDM and all the musicality of not-EDM." Then he said the last song was from John Henry, and why don't they play more songs from that album? "Because it's not very good." (As someone for whom John Henry holds the elevated status of not only the album containing my all-time favorite song but also is tied for my #1 album overall, you can imagine what my reaction to this comment was.)

They played "How Can I Sing Like a Girl?," and then the rest of the band came back on stage for "Istanbul," including the crazy jam session at the end. Afterwards, John said he needed to catch his breath and he wanted them to talk for a minute before they played the next song, which made him sound like such an old man. Flans asked us how we were enjoying the sprung dance floor, then said maybe they should talk about some prostitution scandal (I'm not sure what he was referring to) or the "useless" tariffs Trump is proposing. John said he's divesting his money from steel and investing it in "Waynecoin. It's a psychedelic cryptocurrency. You feel like you're tripping, and then all your money is gone."

Then they played "Mrs. Bluebeard." At this point I took it as a foregone conclusion that John would screw up the lyrics since he had every other time I'd seen it, and sure enough he did. For the second time at the shows I've been to, he actually acknowledged the fact that he did afterwards. His excuse was that he'd been distracted cos he'd been trying to move the microphone with his lips so he could reach the higher part of his keyboard, but the crew had tightened it too much and it hadn't moved. Flans said that what he likes is when the crew sets up his mic stand so it's too tall for him, cos he's flattered that they think he's "of higher stature" than he really is.

Next came "Particle Man," "Wicked Little Critta," and "New York City." Then Flans said the next song features Dan on acoustic guitar. Dan played a little something, and Flans said it was from Dan's collection of "unreleased b-sides" and was entitled "Ah Fuck It." John said something about it reminding him of the Motel 6 commercials, and Flans went off on a classic hilarious Flans thing with him pretending to be Tom Bodett and saying "we'll leave the bugs out for you." Then he said if you're a rock band who wants to be sued you should just say that Motel 6 has bugs.

They played "Number Three," and then Flans went back to riffing on the Motel 6 thing (in character). He said if you're coming there and you have a dog with bugs/mange you should bring them and let them pee all over the carpet.

They played "When the Lights Come On," Flans introduced the band, and then they closed out the main set with the reliably superfun "Doctor Worm."

The first encore was the same spectacular duo as almost all the other shows on this West Coast trip: "Dead" followed by "Don't Let's Start." The second encore was "Man, It's So Loud in Here" and then "Fingertips."

It was a great set and a great show! A teensy bit disappointing because the setlist was nearly exactly the same as the previous night in Seattle, and the only reason it wasn't exactly the same was that they'd removed a couple of the particularly great songs they'd played, but otherwise no complaints.

After the show, I was hanging around the stage trying to get a setlist. I didn't get one, but I did snag something else really cool: a signed drumhead from Marty! That was a first for me. I think he might've given it to me because I told him I recognized his shirt as being from Out of Print Clothing, one of my absolute favorite shops (the one with the cover of The Metamorphosis that he's been wearing a lot lately), and we chatted about that a bit. Between that and him giving me a setlist a couple of days before, I finally felt like I could accept him as a full real member of the band--I've still been thinking of him as "the new guy" all this time. I feel silly saying that as he's been in the band for going on a decade and a half now, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with Marty's skills as a drummer or kindness as a person, both of which are clearly quite high--I just don't deal with change particularly well.

JL wardrobe report: a black pullover jacket, not too exciting, except for when he pushed up the sleeves for the second half of the show (I always love seeing his arms that way, it's much more exciting than when he's just wearing a t-shirt for reasons I can't really articulate).

[ofmorninglory]

im not well versed in crossover AU's in general but go off about them anyway lay it on me

//screams// Guys, Tea is a Literal Blessing™ and I absolutely don’t deserve all this validation but I will soak up on it. 

So, the other day I was going through my Ao3 and I realized literally everything I do, ever, is a crossover, so I guess that’s kind of my thing now. Room Enough AU, however, is literally The Crossover™, you know? I have to admit I’ve been working on plotting it for way too many years (I think it was 2016; I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a hot minute) so it’s so much bigger in my head than what I actually have written. Some of the info I’ve managed to actually jot down somewhere is in this little tag right here, but I’m here to provide the basics on what Room Enough AU is and why it’s so important to me. 

Under the cut, to keep your dashes clean, my lovelies! 

Room Enough for All of Us is a crossover AU between Marvel and DC (because who didn’t see that coming, right?). While most of the crossovers for these franchises I’ve seen and read all start with Bruce and Clark meeting Steve and Tony (who, arguably, are each other’s counterparts) and while I absolutely adore the idea of billionaire Bruce Wayne becoming friends with billionaire Tony Stark, and Clark and Steve bonding over, you know, being seen as literal beings of perfection, Room Enough AU (which we’ll shorten as REAU from now on, although that’s a name I’ve never used for it, but there’s always a first for everything, you know?) actually starts with Tony Stark, betrayed and broken after IM, meeting (or rather, meeting again) one very problematic and highly-skilled pilot, Harold Jordan. 

After the events of IM and Tony being betrayed by one of the people he trusted most in the world, Stark Industries starts undergoing heavy restructuring (am I using the right word? Google Translate says so) and among all of these shifts and changes, Pepper insists that he gets a new pilot for his private plane. He goes to Ferris Air, of course, because it’s in California and he’s had contracts with them for years, and when he gets there, there’s this one roudy pilot who manages to not only evade all of the Stark Training Drones in the air, but actually destroys all of them in the process. Tony wants this pilot. He does. He recognizes under-paid talent when he sees it. 

Hal has absolutely zero idea of what is happening when Tony offers him the position as his private pilot. Jordan is not all that enthusiastic about being some rich kid’s pilot-for-hire, but after the stunt he’s just pulled? He really should think about getting a new job. Hal doesn’t say yes outright, of course not, he’s got more dignity than that, but Tony just won’t let up. 

Not only is Tony Stark some rich billionaire he doesn’t want to be working for either, he’s also one of Hal’s one-night-stands from two years ago. Is Tony fazed at all by this? He is not! Tony Stark is stubborn and he doesn’t care about anything other than getting this man a better salary. 

Tony spends about 300 weeks trying to get Hal to actually agree to the job, it’s ridiculous. His gifts are expensive, and they get more extravagant the more time goes on. He even gets Hal Captain rank back for him (if that allowed? I do not know, I have yet to research on this, this is actually a very new development born in the REAU discord chat). Hal draws the line when a Rolex ends up at his home (one of the fancy, classic ones, too, with the green cover) and Jordan calls Tony to tell him to back off. 

Twenty minutes later, Hal is agreeing to working for Stark. Carol fired his ass after that whole fiasco with the drones (”They were due for an upgrade, anyways! They’re old and I could do so much better, Ferris! It’s not a big deal.”) so he has to find a way to pay the goddamn bills or move in with Barry, and he doesn’t want to intrude on his best friend like that. 

Plus, he loves the sky. Maybe this job isn’t so bad. 

Against all odds, and with a lot of difficulties and obstacles, Tony and Hal actually start bonding. Except, whoops, Tony is dying from palladium poisoning, and just as our favorite green boy is warming up to the idea of not only being Tony’s pilot but also his friend, Stark suddenly does a 180 on him and completely backs away. 

(It doesn’t help Hal’s confusion that Tony spent the first few weeks of his employment literally changing everything about his life. He gives his company away to Pepper Potts, starts a mentor-apprentice program in which he is the mentor and this girl from Mexico is the apprentice, and just generally starts becoming a Good Man™, in Hal’s eyes.)

Long story short (to wrap this one up, because I could go on for years) Hal finds out Tony is dying with a little help from Natasha (who Hal decidedly stops liking when he finds out she’s been lying to Tony, but who he’ll warm up to again, eventually, and because she loves Barry a whole lot and keeps his boyfriend safe and happy) and then it’s a race against time to save Stark’s life. 

And because there is no one smarter (or faster) that Hal Jordan knows, he calls his good buddy The Flash into Tony’s Malibu home and tells Stark that Barry will help him or “so help me god, Anthony Edward Stark, I will find a way to bring your back from death to kill you myself”. When Tony is saved and Barry and him have managed to destroy his entire home, Hal feels like he can breathe again, and Allen smiles at him this sort of way when he catches his shoulders lose all the tension. (”wHAT? WHAT IS IT BARRY?” “You wanted to keep him safe” “He pays my salary, of course I wanted to keep him alive” “Harold” “Bartholomew”) 

So, Tony and Hal? They’re really, really good friends. Hal would probably die for Tony, and Tony would absolutely lay down on the wire to let Hal pass (take that, Steve). From the outside, they’re an unlikely pai, except when you look at it closer, they’re literally the only way universes could collide. Barry actually saw it coming from a mile away, but Hal refused to let Tony into his life (Hal is used to everyone leaving; Barry is the exception, of course he is, but that’s Barry there’s no one purer, nicer, or kinder in this whole wide world). 

After that, it’s just a lot of JL/Avengers shenanigans, mostly around Barry, Hal, Tony and Steve, once he comes along (and he and Barry aren’t at each other’s throats anymore). It follows losely through IM2, Avengers, probably IM3 (because Harvey Keener) and CA:WS (Barry and Steve bonding!), only to diverge somewhere between that and Age of Ultron (that doesn’t exist, to be all that much honest). I’ve plotted some of the things I want to happen, but since I’m messy and don’t have enough attention span to STAY FOCUSED, I’m still trying to figure out a lot of things. 

I’m probably going into Avengers Assemble at some point and work with that. There are some DC storylines I think would fit nicely in there, but I have big gaps in my comic knowledge, so I really have to search for the right things to put. 

The funny thing about REAU, however, is how much it has intoxicated every single of my other aus. All of the works that you can find in my Ao3 (right over here) are different iterations of this crossover, brought into different scenarios. 

We have Coffee Shop AU, my first non-powered baby whom I love and cherish very much and hopefully will finish one day. We have Hotel AU which is so weird and I have no idea where it came from, but it’s there and it’s some very sweet Clintasha. There’s Prom AU/Childhood Friends AU! That’s sweet and fluffy and features sticker stars and red crayons. We have dumb diner au! The newest published addition to the line of non-powered aus! They’re all great, they’re mostly always the same characters, the same groups of friends (in most non-powered AUs, Steve and Barry don’t hate each other. In fact, usually they know each other from a very long time, along with Bucky, and Steve protects Barry with every ounce of whoop-ass he is) and there’s always some cute-meet that ends up in halbarry ending up together (because yes, they’re all mostly halbarry with a side of stony bcs I’m trash)��I’m currently writing blubarry au for halbarry week (which I miscalculated) and it’s actually turned into Paramedic/Blubarry AU and it has absolutely gotten out of control (I’ve finished what could be a first instalment at 13k) and there’s aladdin au for stony that’s still in process and is also a crossover. 

Aaaaaaand that’s mostly it, jsjsjsjsj I’m sorry this was so long! I’m so passionate about REAU and all my non-powered aus that it’s overwhelming some times!

Also, that post you did about Natasha? I felt that. My favorite Natasha is the Natasha who gets to be dorky, and cute, and who laughs at and with her friends. My favorite Natasha takes one look at Barry and goes “this one is mine now and if you hurt him I’ll make sure you pay dire consequences”. My favorite Natasha is Natasha painting Tony’s nails on girl’s night (that Tony always crashes, but he also sponsors the whole thing, so it’s alright). My favorite Natasha laughs like a hyenna when Clint makes a dent into their wall because he’s an idiot. My favorite Natasha is Dinah’s best woman, standing right by her, and wiping tears from her eyes without anyone seeing because she still wants to look at least a little bit tough. My favorite Natasha is so beloved by everyone who meets her and I’m !!!!! crying !!!!!

[bearryallen-blog]

fluff alphabet. || ( john constantine )

A/N: hey there, i’m jinxie and this is my dc imagine / appercation blog. it’s still a bit new but feel free to have a look around. anyway, i’m starting off with something fluffy for one of my favorite assholes, john constantine. no gifs belong to me as they belong to their respectful owners, please tell me if you want yours put down. requests are open, feel free to send them in. masterlist / / what i do and don’t write.

anonymous requested: Fluff alphabet w/ John?

A - Attractive (what they find attractive)

john is attracted to many gorgeous men and women alike, but your witty tongue and teasing just let him begging for more.

B - Baby (do they want a family?)

family, is rather a very tough subject for john in general since his father abused him and what had happen to astra during newcastle. so in most cases, he doesn’t want to have a family, he couldn’t deal with putting you or them at the risk of what he does.

C - Cuddle (how they cuddle)

cuddling isn’t a common thing with him unless it’s usually just the two of you. but he usually switches from being the big and small spoon depending on the day.

D - Dates (what dates with them are like)

a rare bit in most cases but it’s mostly you to remind john that you two have a date. he’ll play it off saying that he remembered. though there’s some date surpises from john.

E - Everything (you are my…)

“you’re my better half, luv.”

F - Feelings (when they realise that they love you)

feelings were a bit hard for john, he just doesn’t realize them sometimes but his feelings were found after he saw you with someone else. he got jealous but was a bit glad when you two broke up before he came clean about it.

G - Gentle (are they gentle?)

john constantine? gentle? a little hard to believe but yes, he can be gentle but again like pda, it mostly happens between you two. though if you do happen to get badly hurt or after doing an exrocism of a demon inside of you, he’ll run up to make sure to cradle you. checking everything to be sure you’re still with him.

H - Hand/hold (how do they hold you? Do they hold hands?)

hand holding isn’t really his thing though there are moments where he’ll lace them together if he sees you feeling anxious, sometimes giving the back of your hand a kiss. but nothing too much.

I - Impression (first impression)</small

he was in a loop when you two first met as you were zatanna’s assistant and learning under her since you discovered your abilites a little late. but there was no way that you went easy on him until later.

J - Joker (do they pull pranks?)

pranks don’t happen often since you have to be serious for the job though there was a few. however the unlucky victim happened to be chas who was very much unamused by you both.

K - Kisses (how they kiss)

there’s the soft sweet kisses to the very rough kisses depending on the situation and your moods. there’s a few in between but it’s not often. though he’ll snog you if he catches someone looking at you for too long.

L - Little things (what little things they love)

john doesn’t notice too many small things since he can be forgetful or he simply didn’t listen to it. though he does try to remember things that you liked such as flowers to bring you when you’re mad at him. though he’ll double check with chas if it’s the right ones.

M - Memory (favourite memory together)

there’s a lot of memories you both shared but one would have to be where everything was calm and you two just spend the day in peace for as long as you possible can since you know, you gotta go hunt demons and other supernatural ghoulies.

N - Nickel (do they spoil?)

spoiling comes in different form when it comes to john. you don’t get the fancy diamond rings or anything like that. john sometimes spoils you by finding a bottle of scotch or some booze you really enjoy. or when you two are alone, he spoils you in rather different ways if you get what i mean.

O - Orange (what color reminds them of you)

for some reason, it’s a purple that reminds him of you. perhaps it’s when the jl dark team and him saw your eyes glow to do your full strength that shined a purple glow to defeat your enemy. so now everytime he sees purple, it reminds him of you and not to piss you off to that length.

P - Petnames (what petnames they use)

petnames are rare with him, though sometimes he simply calls you ‘luv’ or 'sweetheart’ but there’s not much of petnames in your relationship.

Q - Questions ( what are the questions they’re always asking?)

they are mostly “are you sure you want to do this? or "why do you choose to stay?”; almost always some type of reassurance questions.

R - Remember (their favourite memory of each other)

funny enough, john doesn’t have very fond memories but his favorite memory of you is when he first saw you up on stage doing a solo act. he couldn’t believe that he had gotten lucky to have someone like you in his life even though he swears you can do better than him.

S - Sad ( how they cheer themselves/others up)

john tends to drink his problems away, least that was before he met you. he drinks still sometimes but you make him talk to you first before you two go out.

T - Talking ( what they love to talk about)

it’s hard to find something that this man loves to talk about besides his booze and the shit he has done but there are times he’ll ramble about you and what a lucky fella he is.

U - Universe ( a metaphor)

“and the world was their stage as their played many characters throughout their life.”

V - Very ( thoughts about each other)

honestly you think he was an ass when you two first met, well there’s some of it still there but you have grown to love some of his mannerisms and learned some british slang from him. john’s thoughts are a bit more sadder than yours. he always think you can do better than him and is scared that you could be taken like astra though sometimes he feels incredibly lucky to have someone like you to keep him grounded.

W - Why ( reasons why they love you)

you keep him grounded like mentioned above plus you bring out the good in him that is still there. like yes, john can be an ass but he does still have a heart that you remind him of.

X - Xylophone (what’s their song?)

ENDLESSLY - the cab that includes both of you.

Y - You (what you are to them)

you are the other piece of him that he didn’t know he needed until you came into his life and now he needs you in it.

Z - Zebra ( what pet they want to have)

it was you to suggest it but it was a black cat that you decided to dub as 'sebastian’ though he is now more of your cat than john’s but john doesn’t mind it too much. though sebastian became sort of like salem from sabrina the teenage witch by accident.

[albionscastle]

Don’t Play With Me

I have no trouble seeing Jack as a semi knight in shining armour type of guy as well as just drop dead sexy with the words when he wants to be.

There’s a part 2 in progress but it’s one I definitely can’t write at work ;)

FIC MASTERLIST

Your phone signaled a text message just as you were about to walk into the building. Grabbing at any delay you could, you pulled it from your clutch, stopping just outside the doors.

JL: Harry’s havin a movie night, ye up fer it? YN: Can’t, about to go to a wedding I don’t want to be at. Wish I could though. JL: Why are ye goin if ye don’ wanna be there? YN: Bride is my cousin, I have to go, but my ex is the best man. JL: The fucklump wi’ the kid? The one who ghosted ye?” YN: That’s the jackass. JL: Jesus, that sucks. Where is this shindig, maybe ye can sneak away early and come over.” YN: At the lake. I doubt I’ll make it over. Tell everyone I’m sorry. I should go in, ceremony is about to start. JL: Call me if ye need anything.

You put your phone on silent and took a deep breath, wishing that any one of your friends was here instead of you being alone. But no, you had to be stubborn, preferring to go stag rather than with an obvious pity date. Fuck you really were an idiot sometimes.

Fiddling with your dress the whole ceremony, you were aware of your ex’s eyes on you. You could have shot your friend Lisa for picking the damn thing out for you. Dresses were not your usual wardrobe choice, least of all flowy, romantic numbers with no backs.

“Show that prick what he’s missed out on.” she had cooed earlier that day as she finished your makeup.

That was the problem, you thought, as the day went through its stages. He had winked at you in a way that made your stomach churn. And your family had noticed, every comment being about you showing off for an ungrateful fuckstick you loathed. You would have been better off staying invisible.

At least Jack would have teased you about suddenly being a girl, before handing you a beer and leaving you alone.

Alone and wishing he was the one winking at you in some private joke, and then touching you, and then…

You shook your head, that kind of thinking would do no good. Jack was your friend, nothing more.

Two drinks into the reception your phone vibrated again.

JL: How’s it goin? YN: I may drink myself into oblivion, or hurl. Jury’s still out. JL: Tha’ bad? Is he givin ye grief? YN: NO, I mean he winked at me which was enough to make my skin crawl. My family is being a bit...wearying.

There was a tap on your shoulder as you read his reply, causing you to jump, dropping your phone. Your ex picked it up and you shoved it aside without finishing.

JL: I cannae blame him so much fer winkin at ye, tha dress is stunnin.

You never even saw Jack standing near you at the bar.

“Well you look sexy. If you were trying to rile me up you succeeded.”

“Fuck off, I didn’t wear it to impress you.”

“Could have fooled me, you know I always liked when you showed off those tits. Could have got one that showed off your ass too though.”

God, how had you never seen what a dirtbag he was until after it was all done between you.

“You always were crass. Besides what do you know about my ass? You didn’t touch me below the waist the entire time I knew you.”

You were oblivious to Jack choking on his beer just out of sight.

“Why do you have to be like that babe? We had a good time.”

“You had a good time, I just faked one. Every time.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Sweetheart, you aren’t exactly a prize specimen to be throwing away opportunities.”

“What opportunity would that be? To lay like an inflatable date while you get your rocks off? I’ll pass thanks.”

“I don’t see anyone else stepping up. Come on baby, let’s sneak away for few and you can re acquaint me with that talent tongue of yours.”

You were actually going to throw up.

“I’d rather drink battery acid.”

He took a step forward, reaching his hand toward you and you instinctively stepped back, colliding with a human wall.

“There ye are lass, yer cousin wouldna le me away tae find ye.”

Jack’s voice was somehow in your ear and you stiffened in shock as his body moved flush with your back, the knuckles of one hand gliding up and down your bare arm.

“Jack?” you managed to squeak as his lips brushed over your bare shoulder.

“Who’s yer friend?” his tone told you he knew exactly who you were talking to.

“Not my friend.” You smiled as Jack slid his other hand around your waist. “My ex.”

“Ohhhh, right mate, I shoul be thanking ye then.”

Your ex looked uncomfortable as the - superior-in-every-way - Jack grinned smugly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, if ye hadna let her get away, she never would ha ended up wi’ me. I ken a prize when I see one.”

You almost laughed at the angry look on your ex’s face, but any thought of him was quickly eradicated as Jack pressed his mouth to the tender spot below your ear.

“Come and dance wi’ me.” he murmured, tugging you toward the dance floor.

You left your ex without a second thought, following Jack to the centre of the floor and reveling in the feel of his arm around your waist as he pulled you close to him.

“Jack, what are you doing here?”

“I couldna in good conscience leave ye alone wi’ the wolves.”

“What about movie night?”

“Lisa an Harry needed some alone time. An there’s a wee chance she filled me in on the history here.”

“Oh God.” you went bright red.

“Dinna worry, she didna tell me anythin half as bad as wha I just heard.” his voice was tight.

“How much did you hear?”

“All of it, I was ri there. Ye never saw mah text about seein ye in tha dress did ye?”

“I think I got interrupted.”

“Tha ye did, and the bugger is still starin at ye.”

“Fuck him.”

“No mah type love.” Jack winked at you and heat pooled in your belly.

God he was gorgeous. And he was watching you, his blue eyes alight with mischief as you bit your bottom lip against the way he was making you feel.

“Tall, dark and arrogant not your type, Lowden?” you quipped with a laugh.

“Nah lass, curvy and spunky fer me.” he leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear. “Tha dress looks fucking fantastic on ye.”

You shivered as his voice deepened and rolled over you, fingers gliding across the bare skin of your back.

“I almost didn’t wear it, I feel so self-conscious.”

“Don’ be, half the men here can’t keep ther eyes off ye.”

That thought didn’t help, at all.

“Jack.” you whispered, your cheeks burning.

“Tha prick is chompin at the bit to get at ye, an he’s no gonna get close.”

“Thanks Jack, you’re a regular knight in shining armor.”

“Och no, no armor, tha shite chafes.” he laughed. “Yer welcome, wha are friends fer?”

Yeah, friends. That was the big issue wasn’t it? For a moment, as his lips had touched your skin, you had allowed yourself to hope, imagine. For a few minutes you swayed together, silently. You could feel your ex’s eyes boring into your back, making your skin crawl. You shivered and Jack’s hand on the small of your back drew you closer to his warmth.

“So wha happened wi’ tha lump?”

“The usual. He ghosted me after 9 months of dating, never spoke to him again until tonight.”

“Sounds li a real dreamboat.”

“I really know how to pick them.”

“Don’ do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make it sound li it’s yer fault. Man like tha is just rubbish.”

“Guess they all are then.”

“No all of us.”

Your eyes met his, caught in the intensity of his gaze.

“I swear if tha bastard doesna stop lookin at ye like tha I’m gonna deck ‘im one.”

“It’s not worth it Jack.”

“Sure woul make me feel better.” he muttered, his palm sliding up your back to press your body closer to him. His other hand moved your arm to drape around his neck, fingers dancing down your arm, then your side to rest on your rib cage.

You felt your breath catch as his cheek brushed against yours, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the top of your ribs.

“Woman like ye deserves tae be worshipped.” he whispered in your ear, a shiver running up your spine.

“Get off, Lowden,” you huffed. “Stop playing.”

“I’m no plain. If ye were mine I’d make sure ye were screamin mah name wi’ yer fingers pullin out me hair.”

The breath left your body in a whoosh of shock and heat.

“Tha woul just be the start, the whole neighbourhood woul know mah name by the time I was done wi’ ye.”

Your knees began to wobble as Jack’s mouth made contact with your earlobe, tongue darting out to trace the edge near your earring.

“Jack!” you hissed, feeling his smile against your ear. This was taking things too damn far. And not far enough. You were a ball of tension and want, your feelings fluttering all over the damn place.

“Dinnae fret lass, I’ll no embarrass ye in front of yer family. But I cannae guarantee tae keep mah hands off ye when we leave.”

“Jack, be serious, that’s not funny.”

“Do ye see me laughin, lass? I’m takin ye home tonight and ye’ll no be sleepin.”

“You’re pretty damn sure of yourself.”

“Yer cheeks are red, ye’re pantin in me ear and yer heart is poundin. I think we’ve danced around this long enough, don’t ye?”

What could you even say to that? To any of it? You had no idea how things had changed from his earlier playful behaviour. He’d been playing a part, hadn’t he?

“Yer over thinkin, luv. It’s no complicated.”

“Would you be saying any of this if I wasn’t wearing this dress?”

“Actually this whole weddin business put rather a crimp in me plans. I had intended tae have ye on the couch wi’ me as usual, Harry picked ou ‘The Notebook’ tae watch.”

“I hate that movie.”

“Aye, but it’s go that one scene ye know. I was gonna lean over an tell ye how much I wanted tae do that wi’ ye.”

“You’re kidding! Jesus Jack, have you never heard of asking someone out, like on a date?”

His flush told you that he hadn’t thought about doing that and you felt that hopeful flame in your heart sink. He was just like the rest of them, only after you for one thing.

“I’m not some piece of ass that you can tap into whenever you start to get horny.”

“No! Lass it’s no li tha.”

“Save it Jack. You’re just like every man I’ve ever been involved with. You treat me like a piece of meat. It’s ok to sleep with me, act all friendly, but I’m not good enough to be girlfriend material.”

Not wanting to cause a scene you had slid out of Jack’s arms and kept his hand in yours as you led him to the door. Once outside and alone though, you dropped all pretense.

“Go home Jack, forget all of this. You just got carried away with making that asshat jealous. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Please love, it’s no wha ye think, I swear tae ye.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” you said sternly, turning to walk back inside, your heart aching as you listened to him walk away.

[kmp78]

i love J, i think hes a great guy, so many good qualities-but i know he can be a dick in many ways too- can you imagine if he was keanu level great? if he had a personality that tallied 100% with some of the things he says? love keanu but he doesnt 'do' much, not that talented or bright, hes just lovely & genuine. J's a total go-getter, so talented, makes things happen, he could do so much if he was keanu level nice & popular- he really could start a huge cult :D His negative rep is a shame :(

The difference is that while Keanu's trending moments have come by an accident ("Sad Keanu" memes, for example), he never tried to egg it on or desperately keep it alive for more social media relevance.

Unlike JL.

Take that #JaredJumpingLeto thing from 2014, for example.

It started out innocently enough when the paps happened to catch him frolicking on the beach in Ibiza or wherever the hell it was...

...and then some internet clowns turned it into a trending meme which I have to say were kinda funny at first, and JL was delighted as well. 🤭

But then as is ALWAYS his style, he tried to milk it to death and it got sad real fast. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Naturally they "had to" try and get his fumbling bro to trend on socials as well with his own totes hilaaaarious tag...

...and if anyone thinks that gimmick was actually SL's own idea, then I would highly suggest thinking again. 🙄

Not surprisingly, that # never caught on. 🤷🏼‍♀️

And we all remember the #JaredHugginLeto trend too, right?

The first one was a funny and accidental meme moment...

...but then when it exploded and got him major social media attention, he couldn't just leave it be but rather HAD TO MILK IT again. 🤦🏼‍♀️

The way he's continually forcing these trends and "buzz moments" is simply reeking of desperation... 🤨

[reginasrandomthoughts]

First reaction after watching Justice League

Incoherent ramblings about how great the film was. It is long and it includes spoilers. 

So I just came out of Justice League and HOLY FUCKING COW! It was everything I hoped and dreamed of. I went in there to see Superman come back, be Superman and kick ass and I got that and so much more.

There were just so many cool moments! Like the horseback stunts of the Amazons at the beginning (and yes, the bikini armor is horrendous, idk whose idea was it but that costume designer should be BANNED from future female superhero projects).

Everything with Aquaman that happened in that village was cool especially the whole drink and look pretty strut into the spray of water. His relationship to the ocean (and all water in general) is awesome and I wanna see more of that in Aquaman. I feel really good about that movie now. I also adored the scene where he takes down the parademon through the building? Yea it was in the trailer but it was so much cooler in context. Also I adored the first time he saw Bruce in costume. I also thought that the lasso of truth scene was funny? Yea it is a bit problematic but I see it as a character study of the person Arthur is now, at the beginning of his hero's journey.

I liked the scene with Mera? Yea it was not the best, but I like the potential it has and I trust James Wan to take it to an interesting place.

I adored Diana. I liked how she saved everyone, I loved how she fought Steppenwolf, I loved her fist fight sequence and how she was just fast enough to dodge all those bullets, adored how she could relate to Cyborg, and also all of her badass moments. Like when she sliced through Steppenwolf's axe? It was a great callback to him taunting her with his axe being soaked in the blood of her sisters. I loved how she stepped up to lead when Batman decided to be a bloody idiot and I especially adored it when she smashed her shield with her bracelets instead of merely smashing them together. And how she, unlike Bruce actually noticed that Cyborg was spying on them. I loved how she downplayed how dangerous she can be simply because she did not want to hurt anyone (yet) so there was no need to show it off? At the same time I also liked that since she went into that self-prescribed exile she was still unsure of the full extent of her powers so she relied more on her Amazon training then on those (this is also an explanation to why her fight with Supes was so unbalanced, well, in addition to how she didn’t actually want to hurt him (like she could as she was at the moment)). I am sorry Diana, you are my second favourite, but Superman is first.  Also, every time she uses her lasso is so cool? My fav of that has to be the one during the ending when she ties up robbers with it to make them confess everything. And she went up to talk with the children! She is awesome and I will probably rave about her some more later on.

Also the bit about her getting so angry about Bruce’s taunts about Steve that she just shoved him was great. I am so happy that Diana was allowed to get angry in this film and was not just there to smile prettily. But it was nice to see that too of course. To see her come back after her self imposed isolation while she mourned Steve. 

Next is, because yes he is the main attraction and I just can't hold it in any more, SUPERMAN! Yes! This and some more please! I loved how he just smacked the JL around, his comment to Bruce about Bruce not letting him neither live nor die, I loved his scene with Lois when she ran ap to him (whoever put in the line about Supes smelling ood should be crucified by the way) and I loved how he saved the JL's asses during the big finale. I loved how he just carried the whole house??? And how he froze the axe? And that he had a race with Barry?? And his smile when the children interviewed him? The only thing that bothered me was how he came back in with the line to WW "is he still bothering you?" bc it was such a jock boyfriend line?? (Yea, there are some questionable line choices in this film). Also, how he helped Cyborg pull the motherbox apart and they shared a laugh after it? Superman laughs in this one and it looks so good in him like it was just meant to be (because it was). Loved it.

And now onto Bruce. He has such a crush on both Diana and Clark??? I love it but I am not quite sure if that is what they were going for here. But that look on his face when Superman joins in on the final showdown? Also he is like a really decent mentor for Barry, like he makes sure to get him out of trouble and he has faith in him being able to step up to being a hero? Never knocks him for being inexperienced and not knowing how to fight. And you can bet your ass that the recommendation came from him. He also seems to have found his dormant sense of humour? His repeat joke about Aquaman being able to talk with fish is great. Like at first I thought that he was trying to insult him but he really believed that he can? But he also still has his asshollery on esp. in that scene with Diana where he talks about Steve (he compares Diana loosing Steve to him loosing Superman, this ship sails itself, at least from his side). His suicide plan was... Meh. It really feels like he is just tired and just started believing again and feels like the only thing he has left to give is creating the League and giving his life??

And on that note, he was ready to die in the fight against Superman as well. Which is wow. I liked how they brought back the "do you bleed" line and put a twist on it. I liked how after the battle Bruce was like, yea something is definitely bleeding. I know that some people don't think that Batman should be jokey, but I think that you kinda need to be able to joke to be able to cope with this shit for as long as he did. 20 fucking years! Holy cow.) 

And now that I circled back to that fight for a bit, let me just say how cool I think it was that the whole thing started bc the power of the motherbox that created Cyborg recognized the threat that Superman posed? Loved it. The coolest part definitely was when Superman fought Barry in the .... speedforce-y thingy? (I know it was not INSIDE the speedforce, but how the hell do I describe that slow-mo-y, time stoppy thingy that illustrate Barry’s powers? Speedforce-y thingy it is)

Now back to Bruce. I love how he apologized (or at least tried to) to Diana for what he said about Steve and for poking at that wound. I love how he offered Diana that after that she can .... pretty much be Batwoman if she wants to be. Me thinks someone is rushing a bit ahead.  

I also adored Bruce’s comment of “now she’s glad” when Diana said that she too is happy that Superman could be there for the fight. Yea, those two had a really good argument about whether they should bring him back or not. 

Also, Lois being the “big guns” when it came to stopping Superman was just great. IDK how much time passed between Supes dying and coming back but I totally believe that Lois just didn’t care about reporting while she was mourning. To me their relationship is just... Like two people who are destined to be together and love each other a LOT but are still so new that they don’t have this “old married couple” level of comfort near each other. It is equal parts fascinating and awkward to watch mostly because I cannot decide if it is intentional or not. I felt that the writing was at its most awkward there. 

Also, let’s just talk a bit about that Lois being “thirsty” joke at the beginning. What the fuck is even up with that??? Clark, were you telling your Mum about your sex life or what??? I honestly don’t know how I feel about that even though I know that I should definitely swing towards “it’s bad and degrading”. Like there are only two possible explanations for that: Martha Kent is only pretending to like Lois or Clark was talking about stuff he was not supposed to with his Mum. Also maybe the “you smell good” line was meant to be a call back for that??? IDK, it did not fit. But the most awkward thing was how Lois switched from Clark trying to describe his death to how she has let him down. I am kinda inbetween, oh she just doesn’t want to remember that he ever died and oh, she wants to make it about her??? But to be honest, how do you talk with someone who just came back from the dead??? I would probably end up apologizing for “letting them down” with how I lived while they were gone as well. As I mentioned, this relationship has some growing pains. It will get there (or at least I hope so)

And now before I move onto the last two members of the League let me just say this last (hopefully) bit about Superman: I LOVED his red cape. It popped so well, and it looked so good?? I also adored the part where he changed into his Superman outfit at the end like with the iconic pulling the shirt open? I was kinda hoping that he was walking towards a phone booth but I guess not. Still was great. He is great.  Also also, it was great to see how when he returned to being him how different he was with Barry and how he joked calling him slowpoke and all (which, let’s be honest, he probably was bc for Superman to be able to catch up to the Flash when they went for the civilians, yea Barry is definitely still not used to his speed and therefore cannot reach max speeds yet). I loved how he teased him in their mid-credits race. Well, before it really, we didn’t get to see the race itself. Shame.

Now onto Barry. He was really played as socially awkward kid who dedicated so much of his time to trying to get his dad out of prison that he just forgot to live and never really was socialized well? I liked it. I saw some people comment on the weird way he runs, and yea it is weird, but I think it is part of the fact that he is still inexperienced with his powers. I felt like he was trying to mimic at parts how athletes run but failed miserably? I am sure it will get better now that his life will include some actual running (I don’t think he was doing much of that before)

He was getting a really nice mini-hero’s journey in the film, like the first person he ever saved was shown here, how he realized that now he can actually save people and just got the hang of it instantly. He got into his first fight here, which I would count as Superman, because with the parademons he wasn’t really in the fight, he just helped WW reach her sword. (but correct me if I am wrong). And that showed bc he just kept dodging and side stepping when he fought Superman and even with the parademons he tripped? So yea, definitely inexperienced but on the right track. 

And his powers look so cool? I just love how the blue lightning just lit up everything when he was using it? And when he triggered the motherbox it was so cool. I also feel like that all these super fast people just gave Snyder a really good excuse to use his slow-mo effects. It didn’t bother me, as a matter of fact I loved it whenever they just twirled the camera around these mostly frozen images. 

Now, the last member of the league I haven’t talked about yet is Cyborg and I was a bit worried. The design didn’t win me over in the first place, he looked really serious, unlike in the Teen Titans cartoon, and I was not sure if I will like it. But I did because he faced with the dilemma of becoming more and more robotic and not really knowing at first how to retain his humanity and I am really happy that Diana helped him come out of that bubble he put up around himself bc that might have just saved him. Also, how he and Barry kinda became buds by the end? I really liked the graverobbing scene as well. 

Now as for the other awesome stuff with Cyborg... I loved how he evolved at this rapid pace where new and new abilities manifested each day as he was being transformed. I liked how he got surprised by them when something new popped up. But the best part definitely was the hacking. Still, I think his best scene was with his father when he said something alongside the lines of how funny it is that his father thought that when he said that the people in the lab are not yet ready to see the monster his father thought he was referring to himself. That was a powerful scene. 

What awesomeness I still need to throw in here is Alfred. He is so sassy and so done with Bruce being single. I loved how he told Bruce when B said maybe Alfred could have called up Diana to ask if she wants to join the team that “ yea, I could have flown to Paris with a piece of paper saying ‘do you want to be my teammate? check yes or no’” savage. He is so bitter over B being single, like how usually mothers are portrayed when they really want to have grandchildren already?? I loved it. 

What else I also loved was how finally there were colours that popped? I already mentioned Superman’s cape, but his costume was brighter and bluer as well, Flash’s red costume really popped as well, Diana got a red cape as well in one scene and the lasso really emitted a bright light as well. Also, some scenes like the final battle where Diana cuts the axe and the air is full with these snowflake like particles are breathtakingly beautiful. Some others... yea, those flowers were really obviously CG. 

There was also this small cameo of a Green Lantern which got me excited that maybe we will have a Green Lantern (I am hoping for either John Stewart or Jessica Cruz, pretty please)  And in the end credits we see that Jesse Eisenberg’s Luthor is on the loose again, which I love bc I liked his Luthor in BvS (yes I know that it is not accurate to comic books but screw it, it worked for me. 

Now as for the stuff that might have bothered other people but barely if even registered with me: the jokes. yea, some were weak or I am not even sure if they were jokes (like Flash falling on Diana is like... was that a joke or just a portrayal of how clumsy Flash is still with his powers, his social awkwardness and his hero-crush all mashed together??? IDK). But overall, I liked them. I liked that I had moments of levity where I could laugh and have FUN. Because we still had the dramatic moments as well (and yes, they were better dramatic moments than anything Thor Ragnarök had. You wanna see too many jokes killing the drama? watch that.) 

The digitally removed mustache. I did not notice it all that much?? Like there were some moments where I was like... are you sure your face is supposed to look like that? But none of those moments pulled me out of the film. Diana’s clothing was like that as well. I heard some people say that she was wearing more revealing clothing now as Diana but I was not really watching for that so I really can’t tell if it is true. What I can tell, and what bothered me is that there is a scene where her skirt as WW flies up and you can see the bottom curve of her ass really clearly and.... That bit should have been taken out and they should have done a retake. There is something like good taste people. 

Steppenwolf being a kinda weak villain was like that as well. Him talking to the motherbox and calling it Mother was weird but in the good way. Made me just say, okay so this guy really is crazy. Also, he was kinda a two dimensional villain whose main goal was: amass power to become a new god (I guess) and really I was happy that we spent the time on the heroes instead of him. Evil guy tries to destroy the whole world. Got it. I don’t need more. Not from this film yet. (though now that I think about it... evil alien invasion lead buy a guy with a horned helmet that wants everyone to bow before him and has a cube... I think I saw this one before. Still works though). 

I LOVED the implication that he won’t be able to fight how his parademons in the end and that they will eat him alive. See, if I would have cared for him I would have felt bad about him or at least him being kinda permanently written out but this way? Bone appetite, parademons. 

I bet I could say even more, though this post is already definitely long and incoherent enough, so i will just leave with this: I ADORED this film, it will probably will be the first film I will pay to see in theatre twice. IDK what repeat viewing will do to the film but so long as I have Superman to look forward to I will be fine.  Overall, IDK if it is a better film than Thor:Ragnarök or not, but I definitely enjoyed and maybe even liked it better. I left the theathre feeling better after this film than I did after Thor Ragnarök, a film I will talk about as well.