#would be my fav thing to happen in recent years with them

[cynical-crypt]

they got the roles reversed. patrick is the vampire. he can seriously look like himself from any era just by a switch of hat. the other boys can't transform nearly as easily as him

[jinnie-ret]

THE TUTOR

poly!stray kids x reader

genre: fluff, angst

content warnings: toxic relationship (not with SKZ)

word count: 5.4k

summary: becoming lee felix's tutor was quite possibly the best decision she could have made. toxic exes, university assignments and a whole lot of confusing feelings, how does skz fit into this equation?

collab w/ @astraykidforsure

I've absolutely loved working on this with my gorgeous talented pookie! I think it's my fav fic written ever so to have collabed on this was so fun to share our ideas together and give you this!!!

Here is our other fic here which you can find on her page! It's the cutest fluffiest Christmas fic ever so I hope you enjoy :)))

MAIN MASTERLIST

Handing in the penultimate assignment of the year, Y/N couldn't hide her sigh of relief when she gave her paper to her professor. She had given everything to this piece of work, sleepless nights, even forgetting to eat sometimes too, as she was so caught up in her studies. It happened that just as she was handing in this assignment, she was given her results of the previous one she had done. Feeling as if it had been ages ago since she had completed it, Y/N was pleasantly surprised to see the number on the document her professor handed to her.

"85, that's another 'first', top grades as always, Miss Park," Mr Jung, Y/N's English Literature professor grinned at her proudly as he handed her paper back to her.

"Thanks Mr Jung!" Y/N grinned happily, always one to be energetic and bubbly no matter what kind of hurdle was in her way.

"Now, I look forward to reading this one here... but I have one request," Mr Jung pushed up his glasses as he gently placed down her recently finished assignment onto his stack of others he would be due to read.

"Oh, what is it?" Y/N pursed her lips curiously, hands behind her back as she wondered what Mr Jung was about to tell her. She was very much so looking forwards to a small break so hopefully whatever he said next wouldn't be something that would consume a lot of her time.

"One of the students in our class, Lee Felix, I assume you know him? He's falling behind, and I thought you'd be the perfect student to help him. So what do you say?" Mr Jung proposed the idea to Y/N of becoming Felix's tutor.

This wasn't exactly what she expected. Lee Felix? Everyone on campus knew him and the friend group he was a part of. You couldn't not know him. He stuck out especially to Y/N, not just because of the fact he was on the same course as her, but because of his sweet personality and how nicely he treated everyone around him. She aimed to be like him.

What Y/N didn't already realise, was that she was a similar kind of person, and people recognised her kindness. Although she mainly kept to herself, always had her nose in a book or her head in the clouds, she greeted everyone kindly. And for that, she was already loved so much.

It couldn't hurt to help out, could it? Sure, she wanted a break, but this should be things she already knew. And it wasn't like she would be forced to spend her time with anyone horrible. The only thing remotely intimidating was the fact that she'd be presumably meeting one of the most popular friend groups on campus.

But, perhaps it would be nice to properly talk to them, instead of just greeting them like her friendly self normally did.

"- Miss Park?" Mr Jung was still staring at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Sure, I'll do it," Y/N grinned, adjusting her bag on her shoulders before waving her professor goodbye.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was 4:30pm. Right on the dot.

Y/N had arrived perfectly on time, oddly nervous for her first tutor session with Felix. Maybe it was because she hadn't spoken to him properly, apart from the emails back and forth on when to arrange a mutually good time to meet. And that took a while in itself, because Felix didn't seem to check his emails a lot. It would be much easier once she had his phone number to text, and it seemed much less formal too.

Not only that, but it would be nice to see a different name pop up on her screen other than her persistent ex, Johnny, who couldn't seem to forget about her.

Knock, knock, knock.

Y/N stood awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other before the door opened.

"Y/N right? Come in, come in, sorry about the mess!" Felix cheerfully greeted her with a pre warning of the state of his dorm, which she quickly realised he shared with all of the other guys.

Was it messy? Yes, but the typical mess you'd expect for a boys' dorm. It was homely though. Domestic.

On a coffee table, there was a computer science textbook lying open beside a laptop covered in cat stickers, neatly kept to one side, almost to avoid the art materials spread precariously across the furniture. There was barely any room for the puppy patterned mug of coffee to sit, most likely brewed from the expensive coffee machine in the kitchen, Y/N had noticed. The TV screen was on, showing the title screen of a game she didn't quite recognise, she wasn't much of a gamer herself. As she glanced to where she could take off her coat in the lobby area, there was a gym bag, a backpack with headphones peeking out of the top, and some keys scattered to the side, charmingly accompanied by a koala keyring and a kangaroo one too.

"Don't worry about the mess, it's homely," Y/N shrugged, taking her coat off and feeling a bit surprised when Felix wordlessly took it out of her hands and hung it up for her.

"That's the excuse Hannie always uses..." Felix chuckles, before his eyes widen, "oh yeah! My boyf- roommates are all home right now around here somewhere, so don't be shocked if you see one of them walking about. We can study in my room if you want? It'll be much quieter," he stumbled on his words.

"Sure, whatever is more comfier for you, Felix," Y/N grinned as he nodded once more and they set up things in his room at his desk. Felix brought out his laptop to takes notes as Y/N brought out her notebook. Clearly they had different ways of studying, but that didn't seem to deter her, things like that didn't mean much when she was here to help.

"So, how much have you gotten done so far?" Y/N popped the lid off of her pen, both of them giggling as it flew onto the floor somewhere.

"Don't hate me if I say none of it?" Felix replied sheepishly as he crouched down to retrieve the piece of stationary and sat back down in his seat.

"I can't hate you, silly! I've only just met you!" Y/N shook her head with a gummy smile, not knowing she was melting Felix's heart as she did so.

And so, they began, Y/N guiding Felix to the best references and praising him for his ideas that he thought of for the assignment. She made sure she steered him in the right direction and he seemed to be on the right path already.

Knock, knock.

The door opened to reveal two handsome men, both with sharp features, one with longer black hair and the other with a bold purple style.

"Here, have some brain power," the guy with purple hair put the plate down in front of the two, Y/N already smiling at the colourful fruit presented in front of them.

"That's Minho by the way, and that's Hyunjin," Felix pointed out to Y/N, before munching on a piece of honeydew melon. She waved at them with an enthusiastic 'hi' as they made themselves at home in Felix's room.

Hyunjin stretched across the bed as Minho perched against the desk on Felix's side.

"I think I'll be eating most of this then if it's for brain power," Felix grabbed a few more pieces of fruit, shoving it into his mouth contentedly at the sweet taste.

"You better save some of it for Y/N! She's the guest! Plus, I had to spend time with Minho in the kitchen, with a knife... My life was on the line for these snacks!" Hyunjin professed dramatically, sat up on the bed now as he moved his hands around whilst explaining.

Y/N couldn't help but giggle along with Felix, Hyunjin noticing this as he smiled at how comfortable she was around them already.

"Just wait, you'll have to stay for dinner one time, and then you'll see!" Hyunjin widened his eyes comically, as Y/N nodded along in agreement.

"You like to cook, Y/N?" Minho asked curiously, showing interest in the girl who came round to tutor his boyfriend.

"I'm not the best at cooking actually... Most times I just eat ramen for dinner or order fried chicken," she pinched her lip habitually and covered her awkward grin, yet everyone else could still see it from the way her eyes crinkled.

"Ah! That's not good, I'll have to feed you, make sure you get something nutritional in that belly," Minho patted her head as he tutted.

"That's our Minho, he always cooks for us, he's such a doting boyfriend-" Felix nuzzled his head against Minho's stomach before freezing in place. He may have hidden their secret before but this time he couldn't help himself.

"Y/N, look, we-" Hyunjin stumbled over his words as he stood up now, next to Felix and Minho as he took in the girl's shocked expression.

"It's ok, it's ok, I won't judge," she quickly held her hands up to try and calm them.

"It's easier said then done, not exactly conventional having 8 guys date each other," Minho sighed, stroking Felix's hair soothingly to show he didn't blame the younger.

"Please don't tell anyone," Felix couldn't even look her in the eyes. He felt like he had already blown his chances of getting good grades. Like, what a bombshell to drop on your tutor. Oh yeah, by the way, I have 8, boyfriends but keep it a secret, please.

"Guys, please, it's ok, really. I wouldn't dare tell anyone. That's not my information to share, I'd rather you act natural around me then hide that side to yourselves, ok?" Y/N spoke carefully, taking in all of their expressions to make sure her message was heard.

"You've got a good tutor here, Lixie," Hyunjin sighs in relief, a small smile painting his face.

"I do," he nodded in agreement, relieved that she was someone he could not only learn from, but trust too.

Y/N would come to see a lot of sweet interactions between the boys, and also get to know them a lot more too. This was only the start.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Over the next few weeks, Y/N had really gotten to know the other guys quite well, and when she had reassured the rest of them in person that their secret was safe with her, the arms she was welcomed with were open even more.

"Hi love, come in!" Chan softly smiled at her as she entered the dorms, her books already clutched in her arms.

"You're in a cheery mood today, Channie, get some sleep for once?" Y/N laughed and teased the older boy, looking away mischievously when he pulled a face that said 'why did I let her and Seungmin interact?'.

"Go on go, go find Felix and help him study," he fake sighed and shooed her away, pushing her in the direction of Felix's room with a laugh, but wincing when her phone hit the floor. "Oh sorry!" he was quick to pick it up, the phone lighting up with yet another text message, making him frown.

"Oh it's fine, don't worry," Y/N went to grab it back quickly and hesitantly, Chan let her.

"Who's Johnny?" he chewed his lip as he asked the question.

"He's no one," Y/N shrugged him off, making sure she had all her books ready and was about to enter Felix's room, hand reaching for the handle when Chan realised he couldn't let this go so soon.

The rest of the boys and himself had grown to like Y/N a lot in such a short space of time. Her caring nature had stolen a piece of each of their hearts and they found themselves exuding that same care towards her.

"Love, it doesn't look like nothing, that was a whole lot of texts," Chan warily rested a hand on her shoulder.

Y/N sighed before moving over to their sofa, Chan following right behind her.

"It's really nothing... I'm used to it," she shrugged, biting on the inside of her cheek.

"So if it's nothing why are we taking a seat to talk about this, hmm?" Chan calmly spoke to her, lightly pinching her cheek to get her to stop.

"I don't know if I'm overreacting or not... sometimes I think I am but other times, here just look," Y/N shakily hands over her phone to Chan, and he grasped her hand in his as he read the more recent ones that appeared in her notifications.

"These messages are horrible, Y/N, why don't you just block him?" Chan was horrified at the threatening messages he read, nostrils flaring more and more at each word that his eyes scanned.

"He always finds a way to message me from a new number... See?" Y/N reluctantly released her hand from Chan's as she unlocked her phone and showed her messages, previous conversations all with the same tone to them, but from different numbers. "You can always tell it's him messaging because he always leaves a space between the full stop and the word. And then he doesn't use slang in his texts apart from 'ur'," she further explains to Chan, who was in disbelief at how she spoke so causally of what was happening to her. Yet, he could tell there were some feelings she was internalising too.

"You're too smart for your own good, love," Chan rubbed her shoulder, proud of her analysing skills that she recognised it was her ex. "You really don't deserve this," he murmured, leaning his head on top of hers.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was nice, to feel that love and appreciation again, without having any labels attached. But then it had Y/N thinking, what really was this thing between her and the boys?

"Aren't you going to take a break too, Y/Nnie? Felix has been playing this game for at least twenty minutes now!" Changbin leant his head back on the sofa arm as he watched the girl diligently flicking through her notes whilst Felix went to take a 'short' break and play on his PC.

"Ah, it's fine haha, I want to make sure I've got some stuff ready for when Felix is done," Y/N brushed off Changbin's concerns and pushed back a stray piece of hair as she read through the notes she had made during the afternoon.

"Nope, no, not having it, I'll get Seungmin to make you some of his fresh coffee and then you will sit here, right next to me," Changbin sat up, patting a space on the sofa next to him, "and drink it."

"But Changbin-" Y/N sighed, covering her face and leaning back into the chair at the table, already hearing the whirring of the coffee machine in the kitchen, meaning Seungmin was around and overheard the small harmless bickering.

"Nope, now come, sit here," Changbin didn't budge, from not just his seat but his efforts to getting Y/N to take a break too.

She groaned as she complied and sat next to the muscly guy, who hummed in content when he felt the dip of the sofa next to him.

Seungmin entered the lounge, bringing over a mug of coffee for Y/N, dainty sunflowers painted all over it.

"Wow this mug is so cute!" Y/N grinned as she held it up slightly to admire it.

"Good. It's your mug," Seungmin nodded as he sat at the end of the sofa, a mug of coffee made for himself as he placed it done on the table.

"My mug? I don't even live here, Seungmin," Y/N tried to laugh it off, but she couldn't help but feel butterflies at the warmth she received from these guys. The way that they always made sure she felt at home in their home.

"You might as well, haha, with the amount of times Felix invites you over to study when half the time he's all distracted," Seungmin pushed up his glasses, turning to look at Y/N.

"Well I thought that's why he wanted me over more... Because we didn't get enough done in the first place?" Y/N pursed her lips in thought, before blowing on the coffee to try and cool it down even though it had been freshly brewed and was still very hot.

"Interesting take... I'm with Seungmin on this one though," Changbin raised an eyebrow at Y/N's reasoning before cooing at Seungmin, reaching over to pat him on the knee.

"Ew, hyung," Seungmin wrinkled his nose, bringing his legs further up on the sofa and curling up.

"Hey! Don't reject me in front of Y/N... i-it's embarrassing! I'm a desirable man!" Changbin complained loudly, throwing his arms up in the air before folding them and sinking into the sofa.

Y/N couldn't help but agree, nodding to herself as she bit her lip. Changbin was a handsome man. All of them were. They were all lucky to have each other, not only for their looks but their personalities too.

"I saw that look, you're not so sly, sunflower," Seungmin whispered in Y/N's ear as he patted her head before wrapping his arms around Changbin to quieten the pouting man, cheekily biting his neck in the process.

"Yah! Kim Seungmin!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A rough day was rare for Y/N, for she always strived to push any stress away and focus on what she was meant to be doing. But with another influx of texts from Johnny, he wasn't making her day so easy. Even more so because he was waiting outside of her class.

"Never answer my texts huh? I just want you to talk to me, that's all I want!" Johnny grabbed Y/N's wrist and took her to the side of the empty hallway.

Not only was the poor girl shocked at him grabbing her harshly, she also wondered how he knew where her class was, they didn't even take the same course, let alone similar ones for him to be in the same building as her.

"You don't deserve that, Johnny, not after what you put me through," Y/N pulled her arm away from him and redirected herself outside, hoping that was all this confrontation would be.

Oh how wrong she was. Walking outside where there was more students around should have made Y/N feel safer, even with Johnny on her tail, but with the gossipy nature of the university, it made things worse.

"Don't you want me?" Johnny growled, his voice too loud for her liking as people around her pulled out their phones and started filming as he grabbed her wrist tightly once again.

"No! I don't! I hate you!" Y/N said through gritted teeth, trying to regain ownership of her own limb.

This seemed to frustrate Johnny even further, his intentions becoming more and more clear.

He spat at her, right in her face.

"People like you don't deserve to even be with me, I'm doing you a favour!" he tried to pull her along with him.

Y/N felt helpless. Why wasn't anyone helping her? They were too busy hiding behind their phone screens.

"No, I'm doing myself a favour and getting away from you!" Y/N took matters into her own hands and despite the fast beat of her heart she stomped on his foot and stormed away quickly, wiping her tears as she did so.

It wasn't long until the video started floating around other students. Chan and Changbin, who were in one of the studios courtesy of the uni's musical facilities, received a text from Minho.

Minho: pls tell me this isn't y/n...

[vid.attchmnt]

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Is that my favourite person in the world?!" Han hugged Y/N as soon as she walked through the door.

Han had admired Y/N as soon as he met her, always wanting to cuddle her because he thought she was so sweet and 'too pure for this world'.

And oh, did Y/N need that hug, especially after the day she had.

"Hey, she was mine first!" Felix wrapped her up into a big hug of his own as he pushed Han away, not too hard though.

Mine?

That would be a thought for another time...

Pushing the boys away and letting them bicker playfully between themselves, she sat down next to Jeongin on the sofa, who was absorbed in whatever video game it was that he was playing. She often had comfortable silences when she was in the space of the younger. But she likes that. They could appreciate each other's presences without needing to say much. Without needing to say anything.

Y/N sighed and rubbed her head as she read through her notes once more, wondering what part of the words that were jumbling right in front of her very eyes, would be more useful to Felix today.

"You should play one day," Jeongin spoke up quietly, as to not disturb her focus and for him to maintain his own as he fiddled with the joysticks.

"Ah I don't know a lot about gaming, plus staring at the screen would give me an even worse headache right now I think," Y/N sank deeper into the sofa in defeat, rubbing her eyes as she tossed her notes aside.

"Let me get you some painkillers," Jeongin immediately paused his game, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

"No it's fine-" Y/N tried to stop him.

"You take them with water?" Jeongin ignored her attempts as he called out from the other room.

"Yes," Y/N replied quietly but he still seemed to have heard her.

Jeongin returned into the lounge with two painkillers and a some water in a glass prettily painted with sunflowers on it. It wouldn't be hard to guess who bought her that.

"Cute glass," Y/N fondly smiled, as she sipped the water slowly and swallowed the painkillers.

Jeongin loved how she was still able to smile despite the pain she was in. He admired her for that.

"A certain puppy picked that one out, convinced Minho and Jinnie that it was necessary," Jeongin nodded at her, taking his seat but not returning to his game straight away.

"Well I love it, I'll tell him thank you later if I see him," Y/N placed down the glass and instead of relaxing into the sofa once more, she found herself in a pair of arms instead.

"I'm sure you will," Han gently hugged her gently this time, noticing her demeanour was quieter than usual and that she had taken some tablets.

"You sure you want to study today, Y/N?" Felix rubbed her knee soothingly, not wanting to pressure her.

"Yeah, I'm sure, maybe we can take it slow today?" Y/N makes a compromise, not wanting to let down the sunshine on front of her.

"Of course, of course, love, that sounds like a better idea, just tell me if you want to take a break, yeah? Don't want you to be feeling in pain just because you're trying to help me," Felix kisses the top of her head, making her blush.

What was going on with her heart? Maybe she was just still feeling shaken up from earlier on.

"Y/N, why didn't you tell us something happened between you and Johnny?" Han suddenly tensed up, and Y/N could feel it. She didn't dare look at the video Han was playing on his phone.

In that moment, Seungmin and Hyunjin entered the dorm, frowns on their faces.

"Ah Seungmin! There you are, thanks for getting me this glass, you really didn't have to," Y/N tried to change the subject, hoping their frowns would disappear but it didn't work.

"Nope, don't do that sunflower," Seungmin shook his head, taking off his shoes and putting his slippers on.

"Angel, why didn't you say anything, hmm?" Hyunjin walked over in front of the sofa, hands on his hips.

"No wonder you weren't feeling great," Jeongin's eyes widened in realisation after watching the video over Han's shoulder, handing Y/N the glass of water once more to encourage her to take some sips.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Y/N didn't even believe herself as she spoke.

"Y/Nnie, there's a video going around of you and Johnny in the square at uni," Hyunjin crouched down in front of her.

"Wait? I haven't seen that video, I've only seen the one of hyungs cornering him," Seungmin spoke up, sharing a confused look at Hyunjin. He was sure they had been speaking about the same thing earlier, yet with both of the information they had seen from different videos, they must have been able to fill in the gaps.

"W-wait they what?" Y/N stuttered as she looked back and forth between the boys.

In that moment, Seungmin held up a video playing on his phone, showing the three eldest of the group cornering Johnny against a wall, holding him by the collar of his shirt as they shouted at him.

Y/N couldn't believe her eyes.

"It's ok," Felix's deep voice soothed her as he wrapped an arm around her and hugged her closer to his chest.

"Let's just have a relaxing evening yeah? Take your mind off of it," Seungmin instructed, tucking Y/N's notes away into her bag.

"Felix is that ok with-"

"Don't even worry love, it's fine," Felix rubbed her shoulder once more, Han holding her hand as he leant his head on her shoulder.

They all began to relax, watching a Disney film. Y/N cuddled up between the September twins, and Jeongin reluctantly allowing his overly affectionate hyungs, Seungmin and Hyunjin, to coddle and cuddle him.

Around halfway through the film, the front door unlocked and 3 sets of footsteps marched inside.

"Is she here? Is she ok?!"

"I swear she was meant to have a tutor session with Lixie today but they're not in his room..."

"Wait, her shoes are here."

Chan, Minho and Changbin all sighed in relief, almost synchronised, as they saw the object of their concern cuddled up to their other boyfriends.

"Y/Nnie, love, come here a sec," Chan whispered into her ear, gesturing her to come to the side to talk to all 3 of them.

She felt nervous just standing there as their eyes scanned her to make sure she was physically ok.

"Guys, you didn't have to do that..." Y/N shook her head, hands retreating into the sleeves of a jumper Han let her borrow because he insisted a cosy jumper is a cosy heart and it would make her feel better.

He wasn't wrong.

"Oh but we did, it wasn't right what he did to you Y/N, and I don't know what he's done to you in the past but..." Changbin trailed off, fists clenched at the thought of Johnny.

"He'll never hurt you again, ok?" Minho promised, hand caressing her cheek gently.

"And if he does anything again tell one of us right away, we got you," Chan rubbed her shoulder, a pout on his face reflecting Y/N's as her eyes welled up with tears.

"Thanks guys," Y/N sniffled, hugging each of them.

Hyunjin, who was snooping on the conversation with eager ears, called out across to them, "yah! Don't make Angel cry, we just calmed her down!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Y/N was confused. She wasn't as sure anymore, or, at least not as much as before, that is. Sure, she knew about their relationship, of course. Though she wasn't apart of it. They seemed to act so nice and loving towards her. Always helping her out, Felix giving her extra attention and affection when he thought she needed it. The boys always bring her food whenever they got food themselves. They'd ruffle her hair and give her soft smiles. Back hugs and forehead kisses. It's so much more than that. They just treat her so well. She's supposed to keep their secret, but, then again, she's not dating any of them.

Despite everything, does that mean they're messing with her? Are they doing this to mess with her feelings? She sure hoped that wasn't the case. She's been having so much doubt lately with this situation she seemed to have gotten herself stuck in. But, she didn't want to be seen as if she was trying to interrupt or ruin their relationship by confessing. Seriously, one girl and eight guys? She wasn't so sure that it was realistic, whether she wanted it to be or not.

She just wanted this guilt that she constantly felt to go away. She didn't want to stress over this anymore or worry. She hated these nerves that she constantly felt, continuously. She wanted this to be over, even if she never ended up dating them.

Knock, knock, knock.

"We've missed you," Jeongin was shocked to see her as he opened the front door, blurting out the first words that came to mind as he welcomed her inside.

It had been 5 days since they saw her. But it was 5 days too long.

Y/N stood at the edge of the lounge not knowing what to say as the boys all turned and gasped as they saw her.

"What's been going on, Y/Nnie?" Han slowly asked.

"Talk to us love..." Felix begged, he just wanted to know why she created some distance between them all.

"Don't call me that when you don't mean... When you don't want..." Y/N ran a stressed hand through her hair, not knowing how to articulate herself because her emotions were all over the place.

"Come sit down ang-, Y/N, it's ok, talk to us," Hyunjin went to call jer ny his usual nickname, but sensing her discomfort, he chose not to this time. And it felt weird.

"I'm so confused right now..." Y/N began, perching on the edge of the armchair where Changbin was sat.

"You asked me to keep your relationship secret and of course I'd never tell anyone but, I feel like, gosh no I can't say it it'll sound so stupid," Y/N scolded herself, Chan patting her back lightly as he stood next to her.

"Nothing you say is stupid, you're very clever, sunflower," Seungmin shook his head, not liking the sight of the girl he was so fond of, looking so distressed.

"What am I to you guys? L-like am I just Felix's tutor to you, or just even a friend or-"

"You're much more to us then those things, and I know you know that by now," Minho leant forward in his seat on the sofa.

"We like you, a lot, Y/N," Felix said with his hand on his chest.

"W-why couldn't you just tell me that? I-i've been going out of my mind," Y/N ducked her head down, covering her face with her hands.

"We didn't want to pressure you after that situation with your ex..." Changbin grasped her hand from next to her.

"Oh, sorry, yeah I get that..." Y/N sighed.

"Come on, where's that smile gone?" Hyunjin cooed, tickling her sides and successfully making her laugh.

"We really like you Y/N, and we were hoping you'd want to be a part of our relationship too," Chan crouched down in front of her.

"You sure?" Y/N was wary. This wasn't a trick right?

"Never been more sure of anything in our lives," he was quick to squash her worries, kissing her on the cheek.

"Then, yes, I'd love to be with you all," Y/N grinned that gorgeous smile that they loved so much.

It was the best decision she could have made agreeing to be Felix's tutor. It brought so many people into her life that she already held dearly to her heart, people she knew she'd come to love even more in her life. The little things they did for her with more care than anyone else had ever paid her attention to. They gave her the love she deserved, the love that she'd never lose.

taglist: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

hey you’re really good at explaining viddy games. what’s the full story behind Amanda the adventurer bc it looks really cool but I doubt I’ll ever be able to play

Well first off if this is just based on "can't play game" and not on triggers/disabilities, I would recommend watching CoryxKenshin's playthrough of the first game, and there's plenty of playthroughs of the second, I just haven't picked a fav yet.

But otherwise, here you go:

I'm telling this in two sections: The Story As Told, which details lore as you learn it, and the Summarized, which just spells out everything as simple as possible.

Story As Told

The game starts in the year 2023 with you as the character of Riley Park– gender is left ambiguous, but in the second game Amanda uses they/them to refer to you, so we're probably enby. Our Aunt Kate, a librarian, has recently died, and left us a note that says we not only get her house, but she has something very important in the attic for us to check out, though she's hesitant about actually giving it to us. She tells us to watch some VHS tapes in the attic, but warns us that there's no going back once you do.

In the attic, we play VHS tapes of Amanda the Adventurer, a TV series from the early 2000s starring Amanda and Wooly, an energetic little girl and her more cautious sheep sidekick. However, there are two very suspicious things that immediately pop out: one, viewers can actually interact with the tapes, and our answers to Amanda's questions change how she reacts. Two, Amanda is saying some very eerie things that don't seem good for a kids' show, such as "It's good to be brave [and use knives without supervision] when you're alone!" and "I'm not sure where [my parents] are now."

The third suspicious thing is that after watching the first tape, the attic around you changes; suddenly, a toy oven appears on the table behind you, and when you mimic what Amanda did in the first tape to make an apple pie, you find a second tape. This sort of puzzle-solving is the main gameplay; the tapes change the world around you, and you mess with that world in order to get the next tapes.

Exploring the attic, you can find a newspaper clipping saying that the creator of Amanda the Adventurer was a man named Sam Colton, who had his daughter, Rebecca, star in a live-action pilot version. We also see a note from a girl named Joanne, saying that two years prior, her brother Jordan got addicted to watching Amanda, and then he disappeared without a trace. Now that her parents are dead, she has taken over investigating, and that she believes Kate's paranormal investigations could help.

In playing the tapes, Amanda gets more and more irritable and dark, often making jokes about death or disassociating when she's not snapping at you or Wooly. Wooly is desperately playing damage control, trying to guide Amanda to more child-friendly activities. At one point, Amanda tries to mail cookies to Kate, and Wooly tries to stop her; upon replaying the tape, Amanda is aware that something bad has happened to Kate, and Wooly tries to rewrite the tape so that she's sending him a gift instead. Both of them are also terrified of the Butcher, a stick figure with googly eyes who runs a butcher shop in their town. When you have to go there, Amanda pleads for you to not send her there, and asks, "Why can't I stop it?"

The first ending comes when you play a tape titled "Everything Rots." Amanda explores several things that are rotting, and asks you if everything rots; this is the famous line you might've seen around. No matter what you answer, the tape ends, and a giant Monster emerges from the attic trapdoor, before attacking and killing you. This Monster has the same afro-buns as Amanda, so we'll call it the Amanda-Monster. However, information you got in this ending will help you in future playthroughs. As well as this, doing "secret" activities (such as following Wooly's hints and making a peach pie instead of an apple one) will net you Secret Tapes, which you need to collect to get the true ending.

Here is the information gathered through the regular tapes:

As mentioned, Amanda knows Kate and considered her a friend. When she's aware of something bad happening to Kate, she's upset. Both times, Wooly does not want to talk about Kate or send her anything.

Amanda does NOT like Wooly. At first she treats him with neutral disdain, just kinda ignoring him, but in several tapes she actively encourages hurting him.

Amanda has a fascination with death. In the "Everything Rots" tape, she says, "Sometimes I can feel myself rotting... but it seems far away."

In certain points, if you reference words such as "butcher," "Hameln", "Sam", or "Rebecca", Amanda will have a stunned reaction and Wooly will look uncomfortable, before the tape glitches. Using "Sam" in one instance gets you a secret tape.

In one tape, Amanda encounters a "lonely kitten." She asks Riley if you'll help the kitten. If you say "Yes," she looks surprised and the tape ends. If you say "No," she'll start begging and pleading for you to as the world glitches around her. The tape will end and you will be killed by the monster.

In order to get the tapes, you sometimes have to do upsetting things, such as cutting off a doll's head (causing it to scream), or breaking a toy robot that begs you to stop. At one point, you have to kill a rat in the attic and place it in the toy oven.

And the secret tapes:

Amanda was originally a live-action program starring Rebecca Colton. It was acquired by a company named Hameln to make it into an animated show, but they started having Rebecca say suspicious things into the mic which made her dad uncomfortable. (Such things were seemingly innocuous phrases such as "bye yell," which when said quickly sound like the name of demons like Bael). Sam Colton then disappeared mysteriously, leaving Rebecca in the care of Hameln.

Children other than Joanne's brother have disappeared while watching Amanda; we see a little girl glued to the TV as Amanda plays, and her mother leaves the room for a minute, before returning to find her completely missing.

When you have enough tapes, you get a second version of "Oh No! Accidents!" in which Wooly is supposed to be injured, but isn't. Amanda insists he's still injured, but in the head, and that they need to make him better. She then drugs him and takes him to a dingy hospital set, where she says she's going to use several tools to do surgery on him. Whether you help Wooly of Amanda, she attacks and seemingly kills the sheep. You have to solve a final puzzle, in order to get a tape entitled "We Can Share." In the tape, Amanda is alone, with Wooly edited out of the intro and suspiciously lamb-based products in her lunchbox.

She will then ask Riley if she can share a secret with them. She will ask this three times, giving opportunity for Riley to refuse. Here are the three endings this tape will give you:

If you say "No" at any point, Amanda will get upset, and say "I thought you were different." The tape ends, and when you turn around, the attic is completely empty except for a note that says "Leave."

If you say "Yes" every time, Amanda will then say, in a voice ungarbled by TV static (implying she's in the room with you), "I'm out there. Somewhere." The TV will glitch and start screaming, and you have to throw a brick at it to break it.

If you say "Yes" every time AND have all five secret tapes, the same thing will happen, but a Masked Figure will appear behind you. This is the True Ending as confirmed by the second game.

There is also a final, optional ending: If you pause "What's a Family" during the weather reports and play with the weather toy, the attic trapdoor will start glowing. When you enter, you awaken as a piece of meat in the butcher shop, and the game ends. This is known as the Butcher Ending, and implies that those who disappear into Amanda's world are killed by the Butcher and subsequently eaten, likely by the Amanda-Monster that's been attacking you.

This is the end of game one. The second game picks up immediately afterwords; the Masked Figure speaks in a feminine voice, telling you she was a friend of Kate's and that she'll help you. She drives you to the library, asking you to gather the tapes inside while she keeps watch outside. Once inside, you can indeed find several new tapes while the Figure occasionally contacts you, saying that a monster seems to be following her outside; at one point, she also tells you that Kate's house has burnt down after you both left. Your goal in this game is to get into Kate's office, which is locked.

For the first few tapes, Amanda is alone without Wooly; however, a mysterious Possum will show up and try to mess with her. When it does, she is genuinely surprised to see it, not knowing who it is. Amanda is more open with Riley, often trying to say that she can't go anywhere, that she feels trapped, and that Hameln and the Butcher scare her. In fact, ANY reference to the Butcher will make her terrified and angry, and at one point can softlock you in the game. If you let her have a nightmare in the "Goodnight" tape, you see her nightmare of being watched while the Butcher looms over her; if you give her a nightlight, she calls Riley by name.

In the tape "Let's Practice Patience," suddenly Wooly appears, as if late to the program. Amanda will get angry and attack him, before the tape glitches back to the beginning. As she tries to intro the segment, Amanda snaps and says she doesn't want Wooly there; it will once again glitch to the beginning and they will continue the tape. All following viewings of the tape will have this third intro, as if Wooly was always there. It should be noted that the Hameln logo only appears in the tapes that Wooly does, and that Wooly also does not know who the Possum is.

In a following tape, Amanda will try to hunt for treasure. If you lead her to the wrong place, she will dig up what seems to be Sam Colton's clothes, look distraught, and then rebury it at Wooly's prompting. If you play it normally, Amanda will get angry that she hasn't found any real treasure, and tell Riley to give her something that will make her happy. The Amanda-Monster will then appear from behind the TV, and no matter what you give it, it will kill you, leading to the first ending.

However, once you "start over" the game, the first tape is different, with Amanda asking you to do something different than you did last time. When you do, a train set appears behind you, and having it go to the places Amanda wants to go will get you a new tape. Taking it to a different exit will also get you a secret tape.

An important tape is the one titled "When You're Feeling Bad." Amanda is having a bad day and lying on the couch, snapping at Wooly. Wooly tries to tell her a story about a knight saving a princess from a dragon; if you help Wooly tell the story normally, she will get angry and the Amanda-Monster will kill you. If you follow the story told by Amanda's drawings in the background, a mysterious narrator will tell a more tragic tale, of a princess being turned into a dragon which her beloved knight then slays, which upsets Wooly but makes Amanda happy. She will then tell the Amanda-Monster not to kill you and send it away.

Upon finishing this and replaying the "Hunt for Treasure" tape, you now have the option to give the Amanda-Monster a Wooly toy when Amanda demands treasure. It hears a roar from elsewhere in the building and runs off, breaking open Kate's office door. You can enter and find several puzzle pieces you'll need, as well as a locked desk and a broken tape titled "We Can Fix It!" First playing that tape will show nothing but horrifying glitches, but repairing it makes it only mildly glitchy as Amanda tries to fix Wooly's box of junk. After the Possum attacks Wooly in this tape, he says he's tired of this game and will try to sit down, as if waiting for the tape to end.

It should also be noted that in this tape (iirc), you can see the Butcher figure, telling you to "count backwards from ten," and that you may feel a pinch. If this seems confusing, it's what doctors usually say while putting you under anesthesia before a surgery.

The Bad Ending comes when you reach the final tape without having all of the other tapes, and you have to complete it in order to get the True Ending later. You'll watch a tape titled "Do You Feel Safe?", where Amanda expresses distrust in Wooly and a slight trust in Riley, before hearing the Masked Figure over the radio and saying she doesn't trust new friends, ending the tape. The Masked Figure will enter and tell you that she's gathering a few things, and tell you to finish up. Completing a final puzzle will get you three keys to unlock Kate's desk, which has a tape recorder (which you can't play until the True Ending) and a button that opens a door to a secret bunker, with a ladder leading into the ground.

The Masked Figure will arrive and tell you it's time to destroy the tapes. She will smash one with a hammer, causing light to emerge from it. However, the Amanda-Monster will then attack her, and Riley flees into the bunker at her urging. You'll close the door and descend the ladder as the Figure screams and dies, ending the game.

The True Ending comes with the secret tapes, which give you the following information:

There is a tape of several adults investigating the paranormal activities around the Amanda tapes, as they're noticing several references to demons of multiple religions. They conclude that Hameln is connected to a cult that hasn't been practiced publicly since the middle ages; however, as the adults start disappearing, they get more antsy about what's going on with the company and if they can actually contact "Rebecca" through the tapes. Kate believes she is talking to Rebecca through Amanda, but she's volatile. It should be noted that this tape seems to take place "fifteen years" after the show first aired, placing it in mid-2016, several years before our game takes place.

One tape shows Hameln trying to coerce Sam into telling Rebecca to trust them. They are holding him hostage and refusing to let him see his daughter unless he complies, claiming that his contract allows them to do this. He refuses, saying he did not agree to lie to his daughter.

Someone secretly filming in a hospital shows an adult woman strapped to a hospital bed being monitored by doctors who talk about "incidents." They spot the person filming and chase them; it should also be noted that this tape is labelled in the files as "Rebecca's Room."

Getting all of these will unlock the True Ending, which starts the same as the Bad Ending, with the "Do You Feel Safe?" tape. However, as the Masked Figure talks to you, this time the Possum will arrive, and seemingly recognize the voice. It jumps at the screen, shouting, "JO- JOA-" before playing dead. (It often plays dead at the end of tapes, but whether it's playing or not in this one is unclear.) Amanda and Wooly will throw its body into a dumpster and leave; if you refused to help them, they will be angry at you, and if you did, they will simply ignore you.

The Masked Figure comes in and tells you to collect everything as she gathers items. However, this time, you will be able to play the cassette tape in Kate's desk, and hear audio of her death; she is in a car, having a breakdown and telling you not to investigate the tapes, that everyone who's done so is dead, and "Joanne is dead; she trusted me." You hear the car crash, then, which is what killed Kate.

The Masked Figure enters, stunned, and reveals herself to be Joanne. She says that someone approached her and told her that if she destroyed the tapes, she could free her brother. She went to Kate, who wouldn't let her destroy the tapes, and the Amanda-Monster attacked, likely trying to protect the tapes. She pushed Kate out and told her to run, and while she survived but ended up scarred, Kate died in the following car accident. Joanne suspects that whoever told her to destroy the tapes may not have had the best intentions, and tells you to take one specific tape and run into the bunker, and finally destroy Hameln. As you do, the lights go out and Joanne is attacked. However, you see a different monster than the one that normally attacks; instead of Amanda-Monster, this one looks eerily like Wooly. Joanne's death sounds will be much more brutal and painful as you escape and end the game.

This is where we're left off until Amanda 3 inevitably drops.

Lore Summarized

In the early 2000s, Sam Colton started a local live-action television show starring his adopted daughter, Rebecca, Amanda the Adventurer. It became a local hit, and he partnered with the library and head librarian Kate to use it to promote literacy and exploration. The show was acquired by a company named Hameln, who wanted to turn it into an animated program. However, they started making Rebecca record suspicious lines that sounded a lot like demon names, and Rebecca expressed discomfort at "a man in the headphones" telling her to do bad things. When Sam started showing hesitancy at letting Rebecca do things, Hameln kidnapped and held him hostage, telling the rest of the world that he'd abandoned them and his daughter. It's most likely that they eventually killed Sam and buried his body.

Now with full control of Rebecca, Hameln had her continue their strange experiments until she too disappeared from the public eye. What is most likely is that they had her put under a medically-induced coma that transferred her consciousness into the animated world, literally turning her into Amanda; somehow, this also enabled a demon to enter the physical world with a connection to her.

Rebecca remains stagnant in the animated world, continually luring children to join her in this world, where the Butcher kills them and uses them as a meat source. Amanda doesn't seem to want to do this, and is disgusted and horrified by the Butcher, but she also doesn't seem to have a choice. The Butcher may also be connected to the doctor who put Rebecca into this procedure.

While Wooly is still ambiguous, the leading theory rn is that Wooly was a Hameln employee who was placed inside the world as a way to keep Amanda from questioning them or divulging from the path, and Wooly does not realize how long he's been in there or that Hameln has also abandoned him and made a demon out of him as well. Amanda, however, starts to pick up on this in the first game, which is why she is so violent towards him and eventually kills him.

Kate and her paranormal investigation friends began investigating the tapes after she noticed Demonology in it, but they slowly disappeared one-by-one. Kate became convinced that she could contact Rebecca through the recorded tapes of the show, which Amanda seems to confirm as she references Kate as her friend, but which Wooly didn't like.

In about 2021, a boy named Jordan Cook disappeared while watching the show. His sister, Joanne, became obsessed with finding him, and someone told her that destroying the tapes would free her brother. Kate refused to let her, and the Amanda-Demon attacked, resulting in Kate's death as she tried to escape in a car crash, and Joanne's scarring.

Following Kate's death, her house was given to her nibling Riley Park, who began playing the tapes and piecing together what happened as they also communicated with Amanda. Amanda attempted to kill and eat Wooly to prevent him from returning, but the next game shows this was not a permanent solution. Amanda does communicate to Riley that she is out there somewhere before the TV freaks out and Riley has to break it.

Joanne then meets with Riley and brings them to the library, hoping to get into Kate's office. Joanne is stalked by a monster, likely the Wooly-Demon, while Riley plays more tapes. Amanda shows even more disdain for Wooly, as mentioned, and Wooly keeps trying to steer her onto the scripted path. In these tapes, a Possum will appear and try to stop whatever they're doing; both of them are surprised and confused by its appearance.

If you destroy the tapes, the Amanda-Demon arrives and kills Joanne. But in the True Ending, the Possum hears Joanne's voice over the radio and recognizes it, implying that the Possum is Jordan. When Riley hears the audio of Kate's death, Joanne will break and tell them to run with a tape. They enter Kate's secret bunker, before seeing the Wooly-Demon kill Joanne. Riley escapes into the unknown, until Amanda 3 drops at least.

[simpjaes]

One of my fav enha writers elix8r on here just announced that they were leaving and it just made me so sad to see someone leave due to people not appreciating their work and it made me think of you and how you’re literally one of my only fav writers who haven’t left this site and I hope you never do cause ily so much and I was wondering how we could show you more appreciation for giving us amazing fics? Like I know you’re loved by so many people and get good numbers on notes but still like I don’t want to lose you too so lmk if there’s anything else we can do for you to make you know we appreciate everything you put out here 🥺

; - ; time for transparency, and a HUGE rant. But first, thank you so much, im so honored you said this to me <3

there are plenty of ways you can support me! For instance, i do have a patreon set up for eventual writing [which will still be posted here too for the most part], that won't happen until i have more time outside of school. I also do have cash app! Which i prefer over ko-fi because i don't like my personal information shown ;-; you can ask me for my cash app tho!

Other ways include simply telling me how my fics make you feel, or if you like them. You are never obligated to tip me money for what I write, and i will alwwwaaays want feedback and reblogs!

that being said: am i leaving tumblr?

I've been weighing my thoughts lately, and i've boiled it down that i really don't know how I feel about being here after I started writing four years ago. I don't like the way people feel entitled to access my life, and who I am. [remember that blog who posted my selfies, and other writer's selfies just so people could see it? without our consent? example number 2398749382, truly]

I don't like the cliques [even if we all end up in one whether intentional or not, some of you are just fucking mean], i don't like the moral police, i don't like the performative activism, i don't like the copying even if on a tiny level, i don't like how people treat me like a celebrity. I don't like how I can't monitor closely for underage people who should not ever be looking at my blog, let alone reading work that i did NOT write for them. the main thing though, really is the entitlement from people, and the blatant nasty intentions a lot of people have here, especially between writers.

It's unbearable sometimes.

Every day, i have to be talked out of deleting both of my blogs and writing elsewhere specifically for the freedom to stop walking on egg shells. Then again, some days, like today, i like it here.

So, while I was recently just waiting to absolutely disappear without a word here, today I feel good. Today, I feel like staying wouldn't be too awful.

I just want to make something clear to people while I'm talking about it. If i stay here, i will never care so deeply about fan fiction, or people's opinions on it outside of feedback on my work. I care about it as a creative process, and a skill to be learned, that's it. I do not care what other people read, i do not care what they write, i don't care who jerks off to what. I will never, fucking ever take fan fiction so seriously that I feel hatred towards another person. unless it involves minors/underage people, of course. that's entirely different for me personally. For the most part, i genuinely only care about what I'm doing and what i can do better.

If i stay, i need people to stop expecting me to be a spokesperson on literally anything and everything. I am a person who is genuinely struggling just to get out of bed. I am a person who is studying and doing home work more than I would be working if I had a full time job right now. I do not have time or energy to care deeply the way others do, and even if I did have that time and energy, i put it on things i love. Like writing my own fics and not giving a fuck about what anyone else is doing.

This blog is my space. It's my world. I'm sick of expectations for me to make it anything more than what it is: a goddamn kpop smut blog.

This website is excruciating to open sometimes. but on days like today, i really appreciate it and love it here.

I will stay for now, but don't be shocked if, in the future, i leave without even saying my goodbyes. I have things outside of this blog that matter to me, and I will never let myself feel unhappy doing something i love, that's more for me than any other person in this world who wants to scream their opinions.

**edit 11/20** and with the AI apocalypse apparently happening here, it really does feel like....bad to be here. i don't want people who don't write to put themselves on the same level as real writers. y'know, the ones who put love and effort into their work. It's very upsetting to see the amount of people who don't care if it's being used.

especially like....knowing those fics get hella interaction because it seems readers, even if they don't know it, seem to value false writing over very real writing. oof. anyway

as long as my writing stays fun and positive, i will be staying.

[foundfam2754]

S17e6 live reactions!

Spoilers...obviously

i'm kinda nervous to watch this because i saw someone's post on e6 before this on garvez and they weren't happy... let's see because we're def getting pen and luke interaction this ep bc of the whole tyler ex gf thing

i'm like 95% confident that this is a dream...

okay def a dream because luke is hurt

reminds me of that dream spence had close to the end of s15

what a strange song to have emily sing

okay even dream dead emily is sad :( bring her back from the dead pls (again)

yep... dream

poor papa pasta :(

emily singing will haunt me forever

i like how CM can be scary when it wants to be

aw even after 20 years, emily, jj and pen will be my favorite trio

OH MY GOD rossi's really feeling the trauma

wait this is so sad :(

you're not fine, dave. none of you are fine. PG had the right idea leaving the BAUwh

jj what are you getting at????? luke? i kinda wish it was about luke, but i knew it was about emily

beige, wasting time, and bad kissing?? why is that so penelope garcia coded?

god jj just takes care of everyone but herself, mamabear!jj is my fav

Penelope, pls don't be jealous, he's not worth it

how are garvez so normal after last week? at least their friendship is never in question

why is it awkward luke? because you're in love with pen?

okay i don't mind me some greencia banter, but they did NOT date

jfc dave needs a therapist

aww tara's the best man

kinda love the team knows each other so well, they can talk and listen without words. it's kinda beautiful

OH MY GOD i kinda predicted what tara said about "sitting quietly"

you're safe dave, we promise. we all love u

jj don't make it darker i can barely see the show as it is

i love high!emily, man

i will be using emily's chopsticks trick going forward

"delicious but insufferable" is my new catchphrase

"emily elizabeth prentiss"

super hot latino/a is penelope's type too ;)

damn pen's is roasting him and i kinda love it

i like the parallel of garvez interrogating teresa and tyler about the relationship - i know they have different purposes for doing so, but in my opinion still keeps them connected in a way - so i'll take what i can get

tara's right

luke looks so impressed and kinda turned on by pen's hacking primer - i love it; i know it's just adam, not scripted, but i appreciate that kirsten and adam keep us happy and delulu

"new friend"

i just realized this is the ultimate love square (pen, luke, teresa, tyler)

WHY are you talking about the "sticky chemistry"

penelope's a lot mature than she's acting about this, i mean they are all in their 30-40's and should be able to be honest about their FEEELINGS

god I love how much luke hates tyler

chaotic emily is kinda terrifying

"just run through the field and catch all that rye" HAHAH FUCKING LOVE YOU EMILY

emily you know she loves cheetos why would you leave them out

lmao high!jj

oh this is the elevator scene from the trailer where the walls collapse in

this show can be very scary when it wants to be (hasn't been for me in a while because i rewatch and know what's gonna happen)- and I like that they're leaning into it

lol are they hinting that they were both attracted to tyler because they have grief-related trauma and he's a good, desperate short-term solution

oh my god they were not dating

OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT LUKE AND TYLER HATE EACH OTHER

sir, agent alvez sir, need i remind you that only 7 years ago you were also the lone wolf type?

"rattle off a list of your victims you know, besides penelope and teresa" GO OFF LUKE ALVEZ OMG

this is weirdly hot

"ever take matters into your own hands, luke?" is that a thinly-veiled comment about the fact that everyone knows about his feelings but he is yet to do anything about it yet? or am i too much of a garvez shipper and i'm reading garvez into every pen or luke interaction on this show

aw ex bf and boyf bonding!

"who have you pissed off recently?" lol besides you lukey?

why is voit doing sit-ups? man, he is weird

why don't they call him "Lee?" i feel like it would affect him more

62!?

god voit's a good profiler

elias has strong daddy issues and i think he needs dave's approval

what is he repressing? krystall?

oh my god voit's such a good villain

yeah man, don't date tyler if you don't want your trust violated or safety threateneed

oh my god are jj and em gonna fight?

no don't tease a relationship between teresa and luke please i can't

OMG, we finally got a GARVEZ confession!!!

"she knows i love her" luke you're breaking my heart, he sounded so sad :(

but also --- does she know? y'all never said it... and she needs the words said to her. she's not great with subtext, luke

i love that teresa's not letting him excuse his feelings or his inaction

GOD NO DO NOT DATE EACH OTHER I CAN'T TAKE LUKE DATING SOMEONE ELSE RIGHT NOW PLS

no elias, you ARE a fan boy

"honestly" "trust me" those words don't mean anything coming from you elias

god guys you're so much smarter than him, please stop trusting him PLEASE

"this was fun, dave!" god elias just likes fucking with them

yay!! tyler character development

i simultaneously love and hate this tyler / luke bromance

"we are stronger than anyone gives us credit for" YES SO TRUE I LOVE THESE TWO WITH ALL MY HEART

"it gives me you" aw, jemily fans are gonna lose their mind aren't they, but also they're my fav bff duo

"let's fucking go" LOVE YOU EMILY SO HARD

wtf teresa; oh my god this love square is going to kill me

"north star is us, the BAU" DAMN that's powerful

[vodika-vibes]

Hi! I don't know if I can ask you this (if I can't, please delete it and I'm sorry!). But would it be cool if you could to do a Mystic Gods, Same Face AUs with Boba or Jango? (I'd go with Boba because Fav, but I'm dying to see what you'd come up with for Jango), nsfw 👉👈

Let The World Burn

Summary: After your parents marry you off to a man old enough to be your grandfather, you find yourself unwilling to care about the state of the world. Drowning in misery and choking on your rage, you do the impossible.

Pairing: Jango Fett x F!Reader

Word Count: 2505

Warnings: Smut, reader is not having a good time before she meets Jango, reader sold into marriage

A/N: Hihi! Thank you for your request! As it happens, I have a half written Boba fic for this AU sitting somewhere, just waiting for Boba to come back from the war and settle into my brain so I can write him. I hope you like it!

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

It’s been ten years.

Ten years ago, today, your mother and father married you off to a man old enough to be your grandfather. You had been 18 years old at the time and, for some reason, believed that your parents had your best interests at heart.

That belief was quickly shattered on the day of your wedding. When you begged your mother to not make you do this, and she smacked you and told you to grow up and stop being selfish. 

That specific moment was the moment you lost all faith in people as a whole. 

Although, you’re one of the lucky ones. Your husband has no interest in children or a family. He married you because you’re young and attractive. “The perfect trophy wife,” he calls you as he gives you a couple thousand credits to get your hair done and have your nails done.

All you have to do is wear make-up, plaster a pretty smile on your face, and ensure that everything everyone does in his house is done to perfection. And, you’ve managed it.

You’re more than capable of managing your husband’s ridiculous expectations. You do the hair thing, and the nail thing, and the make-up thing. You’ve gotten so good at faking a smile that the other wives you regularly interact with genuinely think you’re happy.

And your husband is happy with you. Happy enough that your weekly allowance is nearly three thousand credits.

The truth is you hate them. Every single one of them. If you could get away with killing all of them, you would do it and you wouldn’t lose a wink of sleep.

“Wife,” You set the delicate mug you’ve been nursing for the last fifteen minutes to turn in your chair and regard your husband. “You’ve been staring out the window for several minutes.”

And it’s weird, and you need to stop, goes unsaid.

“Apologies, husband.” You offer lightly, “I was thinking that I should ask the landscapers to change the garden for this season. The roses did atrociously last spring, and I won’t have it this year.”

There’s the sound of a newspaper rustling, “As you like, wife.” He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and you’re about to cast your gaze back out over the garden, when he speaks again, “The other Moffs are having a gathering tonight. Formal wear only.”

You sigh silently, “I will check my spring wardrobe for an appropriate dress.”

“Good. You know what I like.”

“I will also ensure that your dress uniform has been pressed.”

“Good.” The room falls silent again, and you fold your hands lightly around the mug, helpless rage threatening to strangle you.

If only there was a way for you to be free.

Ah, well. Castles in the sky.

Later that evening, you find yourself sitting at a small table with several of the other wives. Your husband had been pleased with your choice of a dress, long and form-fitting, and a pale shade of blue that you accentuated with matching make-up and nail polish. 

All in all, you look amazing. But then, so do the other women here. 

You’re half listening to the woman on your left, you can’t for the life of you remember her name, as she talks about her most recent shopping trip. You wonder if she’s as vapid as she acts, or if it’s an act to keep herself safe.

Maker knows you’ve once had a whole conversation about nail polish with another spouse since you’re supposed to be a brainless trophy wife. So maybe they think you’re vapid too.

You murmur a quiet excuse to the women who are supposed to be your friends and slip out of the banquet hall. If anyone asks, you’ll tell them you need to check your make-up. But no one is going to ask.

Because no one cares.

You’ve been completely alone in the world since you were 18 years old. And it’s not fair.

You take a moment to slip your heels off, and then you pad down the hall. Escape is impossible, you know this, but maybe you’ll find a library. Or a garden. Or someplace where you can just be yourself for a moment or two.

Stars, do you even know who you are anymore? Probably not.

You push open a thick wooden door and pause as you enter the room. The room is large and grandly decorated. With a massive bed in the center of the room, though this doesn’t look like any bedroom you’ve ever seen in your life. 

For one thing, the room is lit with braziers filled with blue flame. For another, weapons are covering a table against the far wall. You step into the room, and there’s the oddest sensation of someone watching you.

“Ah. So this is the Grand Moff’s kink room.” You murmur as you pad across the room to peer at the weapons, “Gross.” You pick up a blade and examine it carefully, “Maybe this is why he’s not married. Every time someone sells their daughter to him, he kills them.”

You pause, scrunch up your nose, and set the blade back on the table. “Or, I’ve been watching too much reality tv.” You’re not paying the most attention, though, and the dagger drags across the tips of your fingers. Blood pools on your fingertips, and then drops to the stone floor.

“Fuck,” You hiss, the familiar curse feeling unfamiliar on your lips after so long not using it. You stick your fingers in your mouth, to try and stop the bleeding. 

It’s then that you notice that the feeling in the room has changed. 

You turn to look at the room properly, your brow furrowed. You watch as the flames grow higher and higher, and you watch as the stone carving on the floor, which you hadn’t noticed until that moment, bursts into flames so bright that you have to throw your arm in front of your eyes to shield them.

You’re still blinking the spots out of your eyes when a warm hand presses against your cheek.

The man standing in front of you is not any of the Moffs in the building. He’s younger, with darker skin and curly hair. He’s also a lot more fit than most of the men you’ve interacted with over the last decade.

He’s also completely naked.

Your face flames and you immediately focus your gaze on the ceiling. Ironically, despite being married for ten years, you’ve never seen a naked man before.

The man releases a low chuckle, and you shiver at the sound, “There’s no need to be shy,” His gentle touch encourages you to bring your gaze back to him, “There you are.”

“I…who are you?” You ask, “I’ve never seen you before.”

He smiles, it’s a nice smile, “My name is Jango. I’m here because you summoned me.”

“...I did what now?”

His smile widens, “You summoned me. You’re the only person in the room, after all.”

“I…have so many questions.”

“I bet you do.” He drags his fingers down your bare arm, and then takes your hand in his. He glances at the rings on your fingers, and clicks his tongue, before removing both rings and tossing them into a brazier, “Married?”

“Unfortunately.” You’re still staring at him, “My parents sold me to my husband when I was 18.”

He hums in understanding, “Ask your questions.” Jango is still lazily touching you, his fingers trailing down your arms, and across the satiny material of your dress, before gliding up your bare back and across the back of your neck and down your throat.

“You said I summoned you?”

“You did. Not intentionally, perhaps, but you still did it.”

“Okay,” His fingers glide across your lips, “What does that mean?”

“It means you’re my priestess. You serve me, and I protect you.”

“Serve you how?”

He chuckles and moves even closer to you, and you should probably be nervous. Right? But you feel comfortable. Safe, even. It’s been a long time since you felt safe anywhere, let alone in the presence of a man.

“You can feel it, can’t you?” Jango’s voice is low.

And he’s right. You can feel something. A connection towards the man standing before you. You can feel his devotion to you, and it kind of makes you want to cry. 

Jango’s fingers find the zipper on the back of your dress and he slowly pulls it down. You don’t stop him. You don’t even consider stopping him. His gaze remains locked on your face as he pushes the dress off your shoulders, “Tell me to stop,” He murmurs, “And I will.”

“I’ve never—”

“I know.” His lips glide across your cheek and down your jaw as your dress pools at your feet, “I’ll teach you.” Jango takes your heels from your hands and drops them on the floor, and then he guides you to the bed, “It’s better this way,” He murmurs as his lips move to hover over yours, “I don’t have to unteach you shame.”

Jango’s lips catch yours in a passionate kiss, and you eagerly surge into his touch. You feel cherished. Loved, even. You’ll give Jango anything, so long as he continues to make you feel like this.

He turns the both of you, so he’s able to sit on the edge of the bed, and he positions you so you’re standing between his spread legs. A glance at his cock reveals that he’s already hard, and there’s precum leaking down the side of his length.

You have the ridiculous notion that you want to taste him. Though the words seem to stick in your throat. You don’t even know how to ask if you’re allowed to.

Jango smoothly removes your panties and bra, both can be classified as lingerie, though he’s the only person who isn’t you, or the laundry staff, who’s ever seen them. 

You jolt in surprise when his fingers dip between your thighs and find your clit with ease. “It’s okay,” He murmurs, “I’m going to make you feel amazing,” Jango kisses around one nipple, and then moves to the other, and you’re pretty sure he’s driving you insane.

“J-Jango, I don’t—”

He watches you calmly, his thumb moving in slow circles around your clit, “Tell me, priestess.”

“I don’t know what to do.” You whisper, helplessly.

He laughs softly, though you know instinctively that he’s not laughing at you, “I’ll teach you. Don’t worry.”

His thumb continues its slow and steady movement, and you find yourself clenching around nothing. For a moment, you worry that your legs are going to give out, but Jango seems to be attuned to you, because the next thing you know, you’re straddling his lap.

Slowly he eases you down his cock, a heavenly groan escaping his lips as he settles you completely on him. You feel full, so full. And you can’t help but wrap your arms around his neck and press your face against his shoulder. 

“There we go,” he murmurs as he strokes your back and lightly thrusts up into you. How he’s managing that with you sitting on him, you’re not sure, but you’re also pretty sure you’ll figure it out, “Such a good girl,” Jango praises.

His words send lightning down your spine, and you release a quiet moan as you clench around him.

He pauses and then his arms tighten around you, “Taking me so good,” Jango continues praising, “Like you were made for me. So good.”

You whine quietly, “Jango—”

He chuckles and grips your hips tightly so he’s able to bounce you on his cock, “I’m going to take such good care of you, Princess.” Jango breathes, his voice heavy against your ear, “You’re never going to go without.”

He feels so good, you didn’t know it was possible to feel this good. You clench around him tightly and accidentally drag your nails down his back, pulling a pleased groan from him.

“There we go, cyar’ika. Mark me as yours,” One of his hands slides up your back to fist in your perfectly curled hair, pulling you back so he’s able to crash his lips against yours. 

Jango’s tongue slides against your lips, and then presses passed your lips to map out the inside of your mouth, and you immediately submit to him, your arms tightening around him.

He breaks the kiss, though he keeps his lips just over yours, “Tell me, beautiful.” Jango’s hand dips between you and presses roughly against your clit, pulling a strangle moan from you, “What do you want?”

You hear him, but you’re not able to answer. There’s a coil tightening inside you and you’re so close. So very close that, when Jango stops thrusting into you and stops pressing against your clit, you almost sob.

“Shh, shh,” He kisses you slowly, gently, “I’m going to give you what you need, I promise.” Jango presses his forehead against yours, “What do you want?” He repeats.

You know, instinctively, that he’s not talking about sex.

“I…I want,” You whisper, a whimper falling from you as he starts to slowly thrust into you, “I want them all to burn.” It’s the first time you’ve ever admitted it out loud, but Jango looks pleased with your wish.

He starts thrusting harder and faster, his lips closing over yours in a deep kiss that seems designed to steal the breath from your lungs, and with a press of his thumb against your clit, you clench around him and cum with a muffled whimper.

Jango’s pace becomes a little harder and a little faster, as he chases his release, then there’s warmth as he spills his seed deep inside you. He flips the pair of you so that you’re lying on the bed, and then he pulls out of you.

You’re breathing heavily, and you’re trying to reengage your brain, but you seem to be struggling with it a little bit. You watch Jango watch you, his gaze locked on your pussy, a hungry look on his handsome face.

And then his gaze meets yours again, “Stay here,” It is both an order and a request, “I’m not done with you yet.”

You blink at him, “Where are you going?”

The smile he directs at you is vicious, “You have a wish, and I’m going to fulfill it.” He leans over you and brushes some hair out of your face, “You want them to burn, so they’re going to burn.”

Your breath catches in your throat, “You don’t have to—”

“My beautiful priestess,” He kisses you again, “I am the God of Vengence. I’m happy to do it.” Jango presses one more kiss against your lips, and then he turns to the door. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

Then Jango is gone, and you stare at the closed door for a moment wondering if, when he comes back, he’ll let you suck his cock. That’s a good reward for killing the people you hate the most, right?

@n0vqni

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[twst-megane]

So I recently just finished Book 5 and I need y’all to know Vil is like my top fav even before starting book 1 and I just ended up loving him more even now and how so much care and knowledge was written to create such a layered and complex character

I’m not that good in gathering my thoughts into posts like this but I just wanted to share my thoughts cuz I genuinely love the writing in Book 5 as of now :3

BOOK 5 SPOILERS KINDA

1. Envy

The baseline that drove to Vil into overblot. How his desire to play the hero and be on stage longer, his inner envy towards Neige, it accumulated so much from childhood till now and to the point of almost potentially killing Neige but I personally don’t think it was the main reason for his OB

2. Reflection

I’m going off by the official ENG translation but I really love his line before overblotting, “Don’t look at me with those eyes”

He knew what he was going to do if Rook hadn’t stopped him and he immediately regretted it, he became the role he detested for all those years and he hated himself even more for it, he couldn’t forgive himself, which I feel is the real reason he OB compared to a simple jealousy buildup over the years and wanting to be the best. I really like this route more as someone with intrusive thoughts during my worst, it’s a horrible feeling when you realised the horrible things you thought of and the thought of acting it.

3. Loneliness

The higher your power, the lonelier you become.

I feel like this can be said for like every housewarden but I’ve rarely seen ppl talk about this aspect regarding Vil. He couldn’t star in hero roles because he was TOO perfect and beautiful that an average person couldn’t relate, it’s the complete opposite to the rest of the housewardens where they were lonely due to being inferior/intimidating which is an interesting thing to spin the loneliness part onto Vil really well.

He didn’t even appear to have any close friends since childhood, I don’t think he’d consider Jack or Neige to be his close friends but more like at a distance due to how far Vil is in most things. But I don’t think loneliness is the main point of his overall character or trauma but it’s an interesting aspect to consider especially when fitting with the rest of the housewardens.

4. Jamil and Vil Parallels

It’s really funny Jamil shares almost the exact same thoughts as Vil and it brings me back to my second point considering both Jamil and Vil have someone they consider to be superior than them being the most pure and kindhearted person (Kalim and Neige). It’s even more interesting Kalim was the one that escalated the OB and not Jamil from the previous pattern of OB characters escalating the next char into OB. Book 5 expanded a lot on Kalim as a character and he never makes the same mistake twice once he learns which is why it was heartwarming he saw the same eyes Jamil made in Vil’s and tries to stop him.

Bonus :

Rook constantly being the observer in the background and always watching out for Vil really warms my heart, even if its for the good, he always thinks the good for Vil specifically. He saved Neige but only cuz he knows Vil isn’t that sort of person. He cares so much about him he’s so sweet.

I really love love love how they touched on how being an actor can make you be perceived. As a kid you’re very impressionable towards specifically live action actors playing a certain character because your brain would find it hard to find a separation between actor and character and could even paint one as a villain in real life. It has happened before and it’s still a thing now so I really love they added this in even if Vil doesn’t seem to be too bothered by it but it minimally added a little fuel to the fire on why he hated the roles as a villain.

Anyway I really love Vil as a character I can dissect him forever nobody can make me hate him I love him so much 😭😭😭

[diminuel]

Wanna hear something crazy re-“are these entitled commentators demanding updates actual readers?” question you just asked:

When I was in another big fandom, some…dedicated haters of the ship/character I liked would seek out BNF's and do basically what’s happening here: demand updates, criticize the characterizations but in the most wank-y way possible, etc, in order to make the creators feel like “real” fans of the ship/character hate the writer's work. More than one of the newer/younger authors&creators would end up quitting because of it! (Add to the death of real comments from real fans and the hater comments stand out waayyyyyy more ☹️, no wonder people just don’t bother after a while)

Yes this is psycho and yes it’s like, do you not have your own ships to have fun with??

(extra psychotic cus it was often by fringe members of the most popular ship (at the time anyway)?? Like, it’s ok! Go enjoy your many fan works with your ship! For bonus points the popular ship was only really a *thing* in the newest live action adaptation and in the older fan works of the original medium (comics) because they changed the canon ages and like merged 2 characters together, so they were extra like, insecure about how there were older, more popular ships in the fandom pre-adaptation or something so they deliberately went after even works that predated the adaptations and would attack it for being out of character!? Idk it’s crazy.

But once the open hatred of the ship/character didn’t work to discourage the creators/fans (and in fact would fuel the creators! or they would just delete on sight), the haters then learned hide their open hate as entitled “fellow fans” demanding updates or leaving “criticisms” of the writing. Like if an author complained in tumblr or discord to their friends of actual entitled fans of demanding updates and mentioning it hurt their drive to keep writing out of spite, these dedicated haters that literally stalked(!) these fan spaces would then start sending those same styled update demands, knowing it would drive this creator away from the hater's hated ship/character! Like, get a job! Touch grass!

So if you are in a fandom with a known amount of dedicated haters towards your ship/character (like say to the point where they have their own nickname for those shippers something like “Heckers” or “H*ll*rs), one sadly needs to be aware that haters those don't just stay in their lane, even if it is the 2nd or even 1st most popular part of the fandom! Punching up or down they justify it either way as “but they are hurting MY fav ship/character by writing this therefore I’m “justified”!” Crazy)

But also, yeah Fandom etiquette has TANKED in recent years and with the new generation because of both the rapid growth and mainstream awareness, maybe for good and bad because. Say the example of SPN, the old “don’t bring up shipping and Destiel at Cons to the actors!!” attitude has changed, for the better really! It’s no longer treated like a dirty little secret! Yay changing attitudes towards the gay community! Destiel fandom existing and creating most definitely lead to Cas continuing to be on the show and Destiel being canon at the end! But also like, you now get fans directly threatening the lives of actors/writers etc on Social Media for “sinking” their ship or playing an evil character or asking TRULY inappropriate questions at Cons, etc. so…

In conclusion, some of these entitled questions and demands for updates are 100% legitimate bad mannered fans being entitled and rude, because bad mannered fans have always existed and now fandom is sooooo big and fractured there's basically no common etiquette. And also, more then 0% of them might be obsessive haters of your ship/character mimicking the style&language of that kind of fan BECAUSE they know it makes the creator annoyed and less likely to continue writing for the ship/character they hate! Crazy I know! Either way, ignore them! If they are real fans and readers of your WIP then they are not the kind of reader you wanna creator for anyway! And they also might be crazy haters trying to smother your creative flame cus they are jealous! Do your thing!

I’m old and have followed works that got updated 10 years (!) later! A few extra days/months/weeks means nothing to me and it should mean nothing to real fans! It’s what the subscriber button is for! And also if you as a fan wanna give the author incentive to write more, leave them real and engaging comments! T'is the true, renewable energy! Not using these nasty , smelly, smog making demanding comments as fuel aka the whale oil of comments! And commenters, when writing these motivational fuelling comments, don’t even mention it’s for motivation! Heck don’t even say something like, can't wait to see more! at a certain point, just be happy it was written at all in any amount and extend that gratitude to the author (with your desire for more being your fuel for your comment!)

(But if you wanna maybe get the bad mannered fans off your back, remove any exact dates from your authors note after a while and like make a progress post on Tumblr to link to where you can just edit and add your time estimates and “announce” delays there so the poor widdle fans don’t *have* to “dig” thru pages of wonderful art and other (🙄) fandoms the poor dears. But it may also help so you feel less pressured if you don’t make yourself beholdened to a schedule, unless you like the deadlines for your own productivity lol then I just salute you. But that way you can just point to any annoying demands for updates to that one page)

Good luck! Do your thing! Enjoy a new fandom and the new creative energy it brings! A starting a new fandom gives you such a different rush/energy than an old, mature fandom for you. Neither is better or worse but it’s fun to have both! Enrich your enclosure !

Interesting and to be honest not entirely surprising? I’ve been in fandom for a long time too, so I’ve seen people be mean for no reason other than they enjoyed being mean and belittling fellow fans for enjoying their fandom differently than they did.

And you see quite a lot of stupid things in the Supernatural fandom when it gets to ship wars and slinging insults at each other. I had the feeling that I've seen everything but eh, fandom can still surprise me.

I do think people should get different hobbies than pretending to be fans and leaving mean comments to discourage others from writing. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening because who honestly cares enough about my niche A/B/O Destiel fanfic to want to sabotage it now, after 50 chapters are already out?

Just the general idea that fic or fanart of one thing is somehow eating up valuable “screen time” that should be dedicated to other fancreations (of different ships, dealing with different themes) is ridiculous in my opinion.

I could somewhat understand people being tense and overdoing it trying to prove to themselves and the creators that they are the true fans of the show and that they need to be catered to. But why put that effort towards fanworks of a show that’s been over for nearly 4 years? Prospective creators and platforms aren't going to look at AO3 and think "this random person wrote this historical arranged marriage AU, the SPN continuation should better follow its lead!"

You are completely right that I feel fandom etiquette has tanked. The barrier between fandom space and creators is just too brittle or at times even nonexistent in today’s media/ digital landscape. And social media aren't curated fandom spaces, it' all kind of things mashed together. And some people don’t seem to understand that the fanart and fanfic they scroll past on twitter isn’t “content” that is being produced to garner their attention. Likewise, my fanfic isn’t content I’m paid for to create that is just there for people to consume. It’s for fun, it’s free, it thrives on community. Nobody pays for it, which means that clicking away and ignoring it doesn’t cost anything. It’s no waste of time or money.

Anyway. I want to have fun in fandom. I try to share that fun. And sometimes I just fall down into a hole. And not just a different fandom hole... This whole year hasn’t been easy and that affects how and what I can create even though it’s not obvious what is going on behind the screen if you just look at my output.

All in all, creativity doesn’t always translate to a regular and consistent update schedule.

[queensunshinee]

a cool idea for a blurb would be to see the two of them dealing with the lack of attention/jealousy they had towards Liana when she was dating that guy Jake

ps: the best of all is that probably at that time they still didn't really know how they felt about her, so even they didn't understand why they were so bothered by the fact that she had a boyfriend 🤭

I love it sooo much they are soo petty and mean it's WILD

"Have you spoken with Sarah recently? Liana hasn't come at all since Patrick and I arrived," Art asked his mother casually. Both woke up before everyone else and decided to have coffee together. He tried to make it sound as if it didn't really interest him. As if it wasn't strange that Liana hadn't contacted him for four days, even though they were only two blocks apart.

"Oh yes, I asked her why Liana isn't here at all because she hardly came to visit before, and we usually meet a bit, but she's busy with her new boyfriend," Christine replied, not taking her eyes off her son. Art swallowed and his eyes widened, unable to hide his surprise.

"What boyfriend?" He almost chuckled at the idea. "Someone she studies with at school, but don't worry, I'm sure she'll come on Saturday for your birthday. It's a tradition," she smiled at him, noticing the small crease between his brows and wondering if he even understood why this news bothered him. "I'm not worried. Just surprised," he tried to dismiss it.

When he returned to the room, he woke up Patrick. He shook him so hard that Patrick nearly fell out of bed in response. "What's wrong with you?" he muttered, trying to open his eyes calmly. "Liana has a boyfriend!" Art said dramatically, seeing Patrick wake up in an instant, almost jumping out of bed himself.

"No way." Patrick felt his heart pounding. She would have told him. She would have told him if she had a boyfriend. "My mom just told me. That's why she hasn't come to visit yet," Art's jaw moved slightly uncontrollably as he paced the room, unable to calm down. Patrick rolled his eyes because Art's reaction was ridiculous. "There's no way she has a boyfriend. You know Liana. She's too quiet for a boyfriend. She's too good of a girl," Patrick said, not knowing who he was trying to convince, Art or himself. He couldn't believe this was happening to him; he comes once a year, and Liana doesn't care because of some random guy?

"What's his name?" Patrick asked. "I don't know, why?" Art returned, rolling his eyes. "To look him up on Facebook, duh," Patrick smacked his forehead as if he was an idiot. He didn't have time to explain everything to him. They needed to figure out who Liana was hanging out with instead of hanging out with them. Instead of eating ice cream with them. Instead of lying on an inflatable mattress in Art's pool. "She'll come on Saturday, ask her then." Art rolled his eyes again. He lay down on the bed and bounced a tennis ball, trying to organize his thoughts. It didn't bother him at all. She can do whatever she wants. She wants to play family with some loser from her school? That's her right. She wants not to see them all summer for that? She can do whatever she wants. It didn't bother him. At all.

Turns out it did bother him. Because they came together on Saturday. And if you ask Art, he would say it's rude. Because it's his birthday, and he didn't invite her ugly boyfriend. He doesn't know her boyfriend, who made no effort to introduce himself. He also knows that Patrick thinks the same thing. Art also realized that Patrick and Liana talk on the phone and overall, his birthday was completely ruined. He doesn't understand why it bothers him so much. It shouldn't bother him. He comforts himself with the fact that it definitely bothers Patrick. That he's not crazy. That it's reasonable he doesn't like Liana's boyfriend because, well... Liana should have a nicer boyfriend. One who appreciates who has been her best friend all her life (so he decided. Liana would probably say otherwise).

Patrick considered murdering Jake. Assassinating him. He thought about drowning him in the pool. He tried to find flaws in him all evening and couldn't. The main flaw was that he clung to Liana's hand like a leech. Not letting her move away from him. Possessive bastard. Why does she need such obsessive behavior around her?

As usual, Liana and her parents stayed after everyone left, causing Liana to go to the guest house, where Patrick and Art usually hung out when Patrick arrived, and they wanted to smoke. "What's up?" she asked with a wide smile, happy to have a moment to say hello to Patrick properly. She wouldn't say it out loud, but she could even tolerate Art's presence now. She missed him a bit too. "Whoa, it's not a bird, it's not a plane, it's Liana Levy," Patrick tried to be amused, but he was angry at her. "In the flesh," she sat down, unaware that neither of them was in their usual mood. "Your boyfriend seems charming..." Patrick said, trying to keep it light. "Why are you lying to her?" Art said sharply, looking at her with a piercing gaze.

"Excuse me?" she replied, raising an eyebrow. "He kissed you in front of your dad, and I heard what your dad thought about it," Art lied. It was a white lie in his eyes because he knew what her dad thought about it. Unlike the little shit she was dating, he really knew her dad.

"What is your problem?" she asked. "There's no problem, Liana, you found new friends, so why are you here?" Art stood up. "You coming?" he asked Patrick, who was in shock. Liana was also in shock. Art had never talked to her like this. Even when they were little kids and fought, it was always with a tone of amusement and words they could easily take back.

Art was trying to hurt her. Art was trying to make her feel what she made him feel that evening when he found out she was talking to Patrick on the phone occasionally, that she had a boyfriend, that she preferred to be in touch with everyone but, well...him. "In a bit..." Patrick replied, swallowing.

While Art didn't understand why he was reacting the way he was, Patrick understood perfectly. They both felt in jail right now. They both felt like Liana cut them off from receiving attention for a complete stranger who allowed himself to kiss her in front of her dad. Who behaves like that?! for God's sake. "What's his deal? Why is he more of an idiot than usual?" she asked, furrowing her brows as Art walked away from them. "His birthday didn't go as planned..." Patrick replied, trying to maintain his usual composure. Indifference with a touch of humor. That's what Liana liked about him; he was easygoing and nice. He wouldn't lose that over her without a visible reason. "He should take the stick out of his ass, and maybe it would go as planned," she said louder, hoping Art would hear.

"How are you, Li? I haven’t seen you at all since I got here," Patrick tried to change the subject, giving her a light smack on the shoulder, trying to make her feel a bit guilty. "I'm sorry. With all the arrangements for Stanford and Jake, I just haven't found time to say hi," she smiled, a genuine smile. "Hi," he said, keeping a sincere smile. Truly happy to see her. Really wanting her to stay a bit longer. "Hi, how’s your summer?" she replied. "Not as good as yours, that's for sure," he said with a smirk on his face. "Oh, fuck off," she rolled her eyes.

"No, seriously. You have a boyfriend now. You’re all serious and mature," Patrick continued. "What's his name?" he asked as if he didn't know. "Jake. His name is Jake. Can you leave him alone?" she started to lose patience with the two boys she was used to spending every summer with, but this time they were acting terribly. "He has a very impressive smile, I see what you find in him," he said. Patrick hated his smile. He smiled too much and it looked insincere. "Thanks, I'll make sure he adds a line about his smile to his resume," she rolled her eyes and stood up, officially done with this conversation. "Also tell him that the polite thing to do is to say hello to the birthday boy," Patrick said, knowing he sounded petty. "I didn't know you had a birthday, Pat. I'll remember for next year." She started to walk away from him, and he didn't try to stop her. Feeling his summer slipping away and ruined even before her and Art's move to Stanford.

"Aren't you going to apologize?" she asked Art, who just sat cross-legged by the pool. "For what?" he asked, slowly shifting his gaze to her. "For being a jerk, for instance?" she replied. Not knowing why it bothered her so much and why she was reacting like this to these stupid boys. "Liana, you brought a complete stranger to my birthday and ignored me all evening. Now you care about how I behave? By the way, stop calling my best friend for no reason, it's pathetic," he looked at her with a raised eyebrow, not looking away for a moment. Shooting words without thinking. "I didn't ignore you all even-" she started, seeing his gaze darken. "You know what? Go to hell, Art. Really." She rolled her eyes. "Great, at least there I won't see your face." he retorted, not looking away. "Wow, Art. Happy birthday. You’re an asshole, and I hope that for your birthday, you choke on cake to death, and I’ll have the chance to write that on your grave." She walked away from him too, just wanting to get home.

A week later, she broke up with Jake. She didn’t talk to Patrick and Art until the end of the summer, no matter how much they tried to get in touch. She decided to forgive them only two weeks into the school year at Stanford when she had no choice and felt lonely.

Rebecca once told her that boys will be boys, Right?

Send me more requests, it's really fun to write those. anything you wish to fiil the gap about my fav trio is more than welcome in my inbox <3

taglist:

@suzysface tqd4455 @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[lexithwrites]

begging on bended knee for your bcj headcannons 🧎🏼‍♀️

ah bcj my beloved (throwing in some bartylus content too)

so i have a headcanon that he has a younger sister, amelie, and they're v close, he's very protective of her and is the scary older brother to everyone but her

he is also super close with his mum but not his dad, his dad is kind of a dick and was always strict on barty to be like him even though they're opposites

his dad also didnt take barty's mental health problems into account and thinks hes fine lmao

barty to me is anywhere between 5'11—6'4, i love my tall king

he has bright blue eyes, almost grey, and brown hair that he usually dyes black with a random colour in it (recently the calico hair trend has been on my fyp so he does that for sure)

he's very much into metal, rock and screamo music and loves going to concerts and mosh pits

he can play guitar and drums and he can sing

he's ambidextrous (he makes masturbation jokes about this all the time)

riddled with ADHD my god, he's on medication now but as a kid he wasn't allowed because of his dad

i love italian barty on his mothers side, they have a holiday home in venice and he is fluent in italian as he was taught by her

he hates wearing matching socks so he always mixes them up

covered in tattoos and has a lot of piercings but did take out a lot of facial ones because they scared his sister

loves horror movies and scaring people (but knows their limits)

if he's dating regulus he's secretly very clingy, he can be openly affectionate but he keeps in how much he loves him and wants him all to himself

does kind of have a kink where regulus flirts with someone else to rile him up

lost his virginity pretty young to a very toxic partner that pressured him, not knowing how that would affect him, and slept around until he met reg, so his views on sex are kinda fucked up until that point (he doesn't think people like him for him only his body)

has a butterfly knife collection

his 'hardest' kinks are probably blood and asphyxiation on himself, he never wants it to happen to other people

has a pet snake called fluffy, shes his babygirl

spoils his sister for her birthday every year

he's either a bartender or a resturant cook, i can never decide. maybe both, hospitality sucks (he could also be a tattoo artist or a piercer, that suits him too)

dorcas, evan and pandora are his closest friends, they're basically family

has a tongue piercing but regulus has been trying to convince him not to split his tongue lmao

is actually very good with his money and has savings, its the one thing he took away from his dad's advice

has a car but prefers walking everywhere

only wears doc martins or converse

his fav colours are black and green and purple

very good at card games and has a pack of cards on him at all times

[andreal831]

Esther "Mikaelson" and Misogyny

The misogyny in TVDU, in both the writing and the fandom, is exhausting. It comes out so much, especially when it comes to complex women versus complex men. Esther (yes, I know her last name is not Mikaelson), is not one of my favorite characters, she's not even a character I particularly like. But to act like she is an absolute villain with no redeeming qualities is a best misogynist, and at worst blaming a victim of abuse.

Most of the hate for Esther tends to come from certain character stans because they don't like how Esther treated their favorite character or want to shift the responsibility of their favs to Esther so that they don't have to deal with a complex, morally grey character.

Esther is a survivor many times over and we cannot talk about her without first acknowledging that. When she was just a teenager/young adult, her entire family was slaughtered and she and her sister were kidnapped. I know there is a lot of debate in the psychology community regarding Stockholm syndrome, but her falling for Mikael screams a manipulated, traumatized, naïve, young woman.

Esther and Mikael

Whether it was Mikael's intent initially or not, he took advantage of the mental place she was at when they met. People recently have wanted to argue whether or not Esther was abused, but this is not a debate. First, there are many different types of abuse, mental, physical, emotional, financial, etc.

During this time period, while Norse communities tended to give woman more power, Esther was from "outside" their community. Her rank in the community would come directly from her marriage. I personally don't know if she went into her relationship with Mikael in order to gain security or if she was just truly that naïve and wanted love and a family. There is nothing wrong with either. It reminds me of why Hayley decided to try and actually have a relationship with Jackson. Woman have historically had to make hard decisions in order to gain protection. And even if she just wanted to get married and have kids, that is fine. Esther reminds me of Meg March. Her dreams may have been different than Dahlia but that doesn't make them less important.

We see very little of their human lives and it is told from everyone else's perspective except for Esther. We also know that everyone's stories are not accurate. Klaus lied about Esther's death for a thousand years. He also has a tendency from not seeing things through other perspectives. Klaus, and even Elijah, when they talk about their human lives, focus on Mikael's abuse on Klaus because the show centers around Klaus and doing everything they can do to redeem him. There is no benefit to making Esther look complex or going into how living with Mikael impacted her. But it is naïve to say she didn't suffer abuse. She lived in a household with a violent, angry man. Even if he didn't physically hit her, which we honestly don't know but I would find that extremely hard to believe, it is clear he verbally, emotionally, and financially abused her.

People love to say she is a powerful witch and could have stopped him or left, but this is shifting the blame from the abuser to the victim. First, abuse isn't about who is stronger. This logic is completely dismissing so much abuse that happens, especially women abusing men. Yes, Esther is a powerful witch, but if she had no other options outside of Mikael, being powerful doesn't matter. We know she would put Mikael to sleep for long periods to protect her and her children. We don't know if she did anything else, but we have at least one example of her using her magic to intervene. We also know she stopped practicing for a long time because of her fear of dark magic and how the community treated Dahlia.

We also have to acknowledge that Esther had very few choices. Sure, she could kill Mikael but she would have gotten sentenced to death for that. Again, her position in the community came from her connection to Mikael, otherwise she was just another enslaved person from a village they raided. We know how Dahlia was treated. Maybe she could have run off with Ansel and they would have protected her from Mikael, or if he was dead, the villagers, but this is putting her, her children, and the pack in a dangerous situation. Potentially starting a war between the pack and the village for aiding and abetting a kin-slayer. She would also be acknowledging her affair and adultery by woman was met by serious punishments, usually death. After committing matricide, she also wouldn't have claims to Mikael's money or land as an outsider. Maybe in the "new world," but she would have to hide her involvement in his death. Esther would have no money or land of her own as her familial land and money would have been claimed when it was raided.

While women in Norse communities did experience more freedom than other areas of the world at that time, they were still far from free. This is especially true considering how Esther came to this community. While she wasn't enslaved in a way Dahlia was, it is wrong to say she wasn't still enslaved. Her entire village was killed and her and her sister were forced to come to their village and live amongst them as hostages. Esther was kept as a way to keep Dahlia in line. She was not welcomed into the community. This was a common practice during these raids.

The reason I get so angry when people attack Esther as if she wasn't a victim is because real-life victims hear this everyday. Esther's situation perfectly exemplifies the "non-perfect" victim and the fandom perfectly exemplifies how many of these victims are treated.

Esther and Dahlia

Dahlia gets way more slack than Esther because she is a "more perfect victim." But again, we are getting the story from everyone's perspective but Esther. Yes, what Dahlia went through was horrible, but what she put her sister through was also horrible. Those two things are not mutually exclusive.

Dahlia had no right to expect Esther to give up her dreams for her, even though she did sacrifice a lot for Esther. She made that decision and took it on. Yes, it was noble, but again, she cannot expect anything for a choice she made. It is just like Klaus expecting his siblings to never leave him and punishing them when they do. Siblings do not owe each other their lives. I would also not blame Dahlia for leaving Esther behind to protect herself.

On top of that, when Esther went to Dahlia and asked for help, she took advantage of the situation and stole her child. I don't care what Esther promised or how much she understood of the situation, clearly at the moment Dahlia came for Freya, Esther did not want to give her up. If we look at it in a modern perspective, a mother who puts her child up for adoption has the right to change their mind because, morally, we understand it is impossible to understand how you will feel until that moment. If a person than steals the child after the mom changes their mind, that's kidnapping. If we look at it from a historical perspective, Norse communities were patriarchal and the children belonged to Mikael. Meaning Esther did not have the ability to "sell" her children.

Dahlia is given a lot of sympathy in the fandom because they relate her story to Klaus, who they spend a lot of time victimizing. So it makes an easy leap to paint Dahlia as the victim and Esther as the "evil" one. But again, we never see how Esther reacted to her sister casting her aside because she wanted love and a family. or how Mikael treated her throughout their relationship. Even if Dahlia ended up being right about Mikael, whether he was always evil or turned evil losing Freya, Dahlia doesn't get to make that decision for Esther. It is hard to watch someone you love get into an abusive relationship, but you can't tell someone what to do with their life. All you can do is try and be there for them when they need help.

Esther and Klaus

Another reason people hate on Esther is because of her relationship with Klaus. I personally think Esther loved Klaus the most because of who his father was. She babies him in a way she never did with the other's. We even see Finn resenting her treatment of Klaus because of it.

Yes, she does give him the necklace which ends up making Mikael target him to "make him strong." But, one, let's blame the abuser and not shift blame to a fellow victim. And two, what would you have her do? Sure the answer is probably, don't have an affair, but then your fav character wouldn't be there. Also, again, she was young and naïve. She also gets more blame for having an affair than Mikael does for beating a child. She made a mistake and did everything she could to protect Klaus from that mistake. Was it misguided, maybe, but her intention was good. She wanted to protect Klaus from Mikael finding out.

The fact that Esther can forgive Klaus for brutally murdering her shows how much she loved him. Her wanting to kill her kids later is honestly understandable. She never knew the side affects of the spell she performed. She watched her children become the worst versions of themselves for a thousand years and felt the guilt for every life they took. She also knew peace existed since she had been on the other side. When she first tried to take their lives, they would have all just gone to the other side. She didn't want them to suffer but wanted the pain they inflicted on the world to end.

The Misogyny of it all

The reason I say it is misogyny, is because every favorite character in this show has done absolutely terrible things. Klaus, and all of the Mikaelsons, are serial killers. It doesn't matter what reasons they had for doing it. Esther had her own reasons for her actions. The fact that people can't acknowledge Esther as a complex character but can do so for Klaus, Damon, Elijah, Stefan, etc. shows that it is based on misogyny. Even the fact that Dahlia, someone who kidnapped and abused a child, gets more love than Esther because Esther isn't a "perfect victim" shows it is rooted in misogyny. Men are allowed to be messy and complex but when it's a woman they are either a victim or pure evil.

I'm not saying there aren't things you can't hate her for. I hated her treatment of Elijah in Season 2 of TO and her plan to harm Hope. But to ignore the complexity of the character and pretend she wasn't a victim is just harmful rhetoric. Women are allowed to be complex and morally grey.

[l-epingle]

oh hungarian gp you are keeping my drama-loving ass FED

first off: oscar maiden win!! lewis 200th podium!! disregarding the whole race that's such a fun result

this is really backing up my belief that it's way more difficult to be a fan of a TEAM rather than individual drivers bc this is technically a mclaren win in the best possible way and yet they look like such fucking idiots like why would i want to root for them

what the hell was up with their strategy?? like they have no bullshit excuses for what they did with the pit stops and the team orders i genuinely don't understand what mclaren was trying to achieve here besides looking like total clowns

coming from an oscar fan i don't think lando deserved the win! oscar had an amazing start and led the race for a good portion and i think that if mclaren had done their pitstops RIGHT and hadnt tried to undercut??? for no reason?? then oscar would've continued to win the race anyway

coming from a FORMULA 1 fan who loves the competitevness of the sport i totally understand why lando would feel like this win was robbed from him. literally not his fault that mclaren are being bozos and i think if i was in his position i wouldn't have given up my place

HOWEVER as i said before i don't think lando DESERVED to win here. no driver is winning races because they DESERVE to there's ton of factors and oftentimes ppl win for no particular reason. take george's recent win bc of the verstappen-norris crash, all the wins thanks to safety car luck, you could even say charles win in monaco is simply thanks to good qualifying and the way the track is designed. so many things happen during a race that are outside of a driver's control and saying someone deserves to win a race is stupid and ruins the point of the race. like if thats what you want then who even needs to race might as well hand out trophies after qualifying or award points just on fastest lap

BRING BACK TEAM RIVALRIES!! so much love to naomi but i do not agree w pretty much anything she was saying formula 1 isnt really a team sport. the driver's championship is won by ONE driver. yes the wcc is based on team pts but i guarantee that every single driver would be totally fine if their team was in last fucking place if it meant that they won the wdc. saying that you can win a championship wo being selfish is CRAZY (especially in front of nico lmaoooo) bc you HAVE to be putting yourself first every single race if you want to win. yes your teammate is your partner but they are also your RIVAL and you are both coworkers and competitors. like so many selfish moments will be looked back on with fondness as long as you win. everyone can joke about multi-21 now bc sebastian vettel is literally a 4-time world champion and he ended up winning that year. no one cares that he was a 'selfish driver' bc he delivered results and getting hung up on being a team player in a sport like this is stupid to me

one thing lando did that DID annoy me tho was his response to lewis's compliment during cooldown like what was that??? he literally just said you were fast and you had to clapback? like lewis wasn't trying to insult lando in any way why'd he have to respond like that...

also nico he just couldn't get through the day without constantly being bombared w flashbacks huh him giving advice to andrea stella regarding TEAM ORDERS is sooooo funny to me

anyway to wrap up this post (rant) here's my fav pic of the day

brocedes reunion, messy ass team radios, return of mad max... this has been my favorite race so far and i hope the rest of the season continues in a similar manner

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies about other fandoms, then a couple of replies about twst boys (including one about them loving hands).

Anonymous asked:

as someone who found you through twst i was EXTREMELY surprised and pleased to see your marchen art since sound horizon is still a bit of an obscure thing, esp compared to all the linked horizon stuff. do you have a fav song from the album or their discography in general?

Anon! I am so excited to hear from someone who also knows about Sound Horizon <3 Yes, we love it very much! We haven’t listened to their newer stuff properly, and by “newer” I mean anything that came out after Marchen lol so not that new, but I do remember Marchen (+Ido) coming out and how overwhelmingly amazing it was. It still is, to be fair; I’d say this is my favourite album. I also REALLY love Moira and Elysion.

There are a lot of songs that I love (from Roman and other albums as well), but if I had to pick one from each of my 3 favourite albums, I’d say it’s Yoiyami no Uta, Shiseru Eiyūtachi no Tatakai and Ark.

I don’t listen to Linked Horizon stuff all that much, but I adore everything that Revo wrote for Shingeki. Akatsuki no Requiem is probably my favourite from these songs… and Sasageyo, of course.

The majority of my SanHora art is so old, I’m sorry you had to look at it lol One day I’ll draw all of our faves again…

Anonymous asked:

Yooo! Black butler throw back!? The nostalgia! In ref to ur recent black butler art

Yeah, we post Black Butler art pretty often! Funny enough, even though we watched it ages and ages ago and rewatched it several times, it took all those years for us to finally appreciate it lol So now we love it a lot. And I draw it quite often…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

I'm sorry did I see W.I.T.C.H. on your fandom list?? Do I sense some good angsty toxic yaoi Phobos from you by chance-

In theory, yeah lol I think Cedric/Phobos was my first ever ship. I would love to draw them at some point, but that probably won’t happen anytime soon.

Anonymous asked:

I sent a link to a translated clip from chapter 7 without realizing you haven’t gotten there yet! I’m so sorry and please don’t click if you don’t want spoilers!

It’s okay! Well, unfortunately, one of us already looked at it oops, but it’s obvious that you didn’t mean it, so don’t worry.

We appreciate your apology and warning <3

fate-muse-club-house asked:

Jamil got to look sexy enough and Kalim will buy him anything he wants

Fact. And Jamil doesn’t even have to do anything – he is sexy enough just normally…

Anonymous asked:

QUESTION!

Do you think any of the twst boys would have a liking/kink of some sort for hands?

Also, I love how you draw Jamil and Kalim.

:)

Thank you, Anon <3

Let’s see… Rook is absolutely the one, he pays attention to hands all the time. He doesn’t like being touched, but loves grabbing hands and caressing his own face with someone else’s hands…

Vil probably has a very specific type of hands that he loves. Manly, but not overly masculine, but strong, but very tidy and elegant? Super specific.

Trey has a thing for tiny hands. They make him physically weak when he looks at them.

Cater also loves hands, and he probably takes pictures of his own hands a lot. He does it just for fun and for the aesthetics of it. Azul adores his own hands. He also thinks Idia’s are prettier than he thought they’d be…

Idia loves either cute and tiny ones or big and masculine ones, and he is in denial about both.

Sebek is also a big lover of hands, but he didn’t figure it out quite yet.

Anonymous asked:

Imagine Idia having a waifu body pillow and whoever he’s with is jealous of it.

Oh they would get jealous 😭 All of them. Even Azul who would at first think that he is above this, and that this is just one of Idia’s million otaku quirks, would get unexpectedly annoyed whenever Idia would hug this thing or even have it on his bed.

Lilia would yeet it from the bed lol it’s his bed! Maybe he’ll get Idia a new daki, the one of Lilia himself doing a cute pose in a cosplay <3 Idia would get uncomfortable and complain about Lilia acting out of character…

Ortho wouldn’t mind it though. If he’s making a scene, it’s intentional! He knows that Idia just uses this anime girl for comfort and that she isn’t as cute as him.

[baby-brunette]

a spontaneous review of my perfume collection 🌹

i was about 14-15 when i picked up a bottle of Japanese cherry blossom from bath & body works. i practically wore it all the time & my fav thing about it was the way the glitter shimmered on my skin throughout the day. i haven't been to b&bw in a while so idk if they're even still making glittery perfumes. there's of course the floral notes but i remember it being kinda soapy too? like it kinda smelled like u just took a bubble bath with flower pedals lol. the memories aren't very clear but i get glimpses of summer camp, field trips, & when i & other girls wore wire cat ears, flower crowns & we popped the lenses out of shades cuz we liked to wear just the frame, y'all remember that right?

as for sweet cotton candy ( bodycology ) i don't remember buying it but i know for a fact i got it from walmart years ago. if japanese cherry blossom was in one hand, sweet cotton candy was in the other. idk why i took the sticker off tho. scc is almost sticky sweet, but not very overwhelming. i was stuck on these two for a good while as u can see i'm almost out. i refuse to use them now cuz jcb holds so many repressed memories & i scc has been discontinued by bodycology, they're very sentimental pieces to me.

i happened to find this one day & bought it on impulse. big mistake. it smells similar to the one i got from b&bw AT FIRST, but when it dries down its sweeter ( like splenda sweet, i hate splenda ) & the floral note fades quicker. also there's no glitter.. which is no fun. pretty bottle tho but i don't see myself wearing this anytime soon, it's not terrible just very bland & it's just not the same as the one from b&bw like i hoped it would be

i've made a post about this one already when i found it. i absolutely adore this scent, smells exactly like the one from bodycology. 🩷 it smells like pink sugar crystsls & it's not too sweet either. it's more like cotton candy ice cream rather than actually COTTON candy which is fine with me. btw i think this is perfect for bubblegum coquettes.

i got these years ago & i remember loving cupcake swirl at the time but it's just wayyy too sweet for me now. it's like disgustingly sweet which i guess is good if u like that kinda thing but i only wear it from time to time just to try to like it again lol. i tried giving it away to my friend but she didn't want it either. i think someone gave me cookie butter & it's also kinda strong but i like it.. it's slightly buttery like those Danish cookies. if i had to choose between the two i'd choose cookie butter, that's the one i used the most out of the two. unfortunately i haven't seen cookie butter anywhere since then. if i happen to come across more i'll definitely get s'more, i'm practically out. for some reason it reminds me of cool sunday mornings

ngl i saw my mutual post about this one in a mini haul & i went & got it. it smells lovely, sweet, floral, powdery. kinda reminds me of a night at the beach during a full moon, perhaps even a date night. this scent has an androgynous feel to it, i think it can be appreciated by coquettes & faunlets alike. now that i think about, maybe i'll get my bf to wear this... i think maybe dark or grunge coquettes would like this one

if u were around for Melanie Martinez's crybaby era but was never able to get her milk perfume ( i feel ur pain :ccc ), i think this a good replacement. i know i know, the notes are mainly powdery, not lactonic, but i think she'd wear this especially during that time, don't u agree? even the reputation this perfume has reminds me of melanie to a degree, not sm the slogan but the advertising & the way the models were dressed up ( also if there's anyone out there that has/had the crybaby milk perfume & u know of a perfume that's very similar PLEASE let me know.. ty :* )

i think this is the most recent one i got? i don't remember, but this is lovely. it's a fresh bouquet of lilies & jasmine & vanilla/syrup mix, i'm thinking more ethereal coquette with this one. this reminds me of marc jacobs commercials, it's what angels smell like. this is great if u want something sweet & simple.

strawberry pound cake is the scent i reach for the most as of right now, partly because my bf really likes it. you'll be walking around smelling like a strawberry pound cake of course, & who doesn't want that? while for me, strawberry pound cake is an everyday perfume, pretty as a peach is usually for occasions or when i'm dressed more mature/androgynous than usual. it's not everyday that i go around smelling like fresh fruits, but when i do, this is what i'll be wearing

this one isn't only the most eye catching of the bunch, it's also a classic coquette perfume that i'm so glad to have finally gotten my hands on. this is the most complex perfume i have so far. top notes are very sweet, fruity, mostly cherry, & at times can be nutty & smell of almond extract. needless to say, if u love the classic coquette look, this is a great finishing touch

last but not least, pink sugar! this one i find lasts the longest, i wore it to sleep last night & i woke up smelling just as good. this too is great for bubblegum coquettes & is great if u want a perfume that lasts all day. i swear i've used this exact same perfume even before japanese cherry blossom & sweet cotton candy. it was in one of those small roll on fragrance oil bottles. my mom bought it for me & i was so sad when i ran out. so glad i've finally reunited with this scent <3

[outcaststars]

I've been streaming on twitch for over 4 years. I've made a great community and a wonderful group of friends but I've also had to deal with a lot of aweful people. Recently I've been feeling particularly upset about it all so I'm going to air all my grievances here. TW this mentions bullying, grooming, self harm and abuse. If anyone mentioned in this post trys to comment im just gonna delete it, i also dont care if your fav streamers is here, this is my authentic experience. Also dont go attacking anyone i mention here, the whole point of this is to be better then them.

Rat_emoji

The first streamer I ever had an issue with was Rat_emoji. It all started when I tuned into one of their DbD streams only to find him streaming another, younger, streamers live content.

He had just died to this kid playing Myers, he had TTV in his name and Rat was so mad about what had happened he streamed this kids twitch live to his viewers, all the while making fun of his appearance and stream quality.

A day later I would go back and screen record this whole interaction so I can share that if you want to see it. It felt so disgusting to watch this happen live, he has 100 viewers in chat and they were all being nasty. The only person who told him to stop was drag streamer Suttonfister (i think, 90% sure) who was in the same game and discord call at he time. the whole scene was aweful to witness, it felt like such an abuse of power. Rat didnt directly say anything mean but they made a lot of mean girl comments and didnt moderate anything cruel their chat said, it was obviously intentional.

After this I blocked Rat, it would have been easy to avoid him if he didn't found the stream team "Aussie pride", he got a lot of attention for that and a lot of praise and all of it made me sick. Funnily enough I heard that Aussie Pride was an aweful team to be in. The creators didn't care about the smaller members, planned no events and then disbanded the team with the release of Hogwarts legacy because they didn't want to take a stance on JK Rowling. Honestly it seems like the whole thing was a vanity project. That's why I don't like Rat_emoji.

Dcypherpup

DCpup was the first streamer I tried to network with. He hired me to make some art for him. He wanted me to work on merch for his channel, I declined, saying that I wasnt comfortable with the idea of someone else selling my art. I counter offered to just make him a profile icon, this way we could see how my style suited him and i could work out how to tackle the idea of eventually doing merch.

When the icon was done I sent him the high res file, he asked for my signature (my artist tag, a very small "outcaststars" in the corner) to be removed. When I asked why, he told me he needed it gone in order to upload it as merch.

Naturally I was upset. I explained that we had already made a deal not to do merch yet and I also explained that I was uncomfortable with the idea of removing my tag. I went on to explain why visibility was so important for artists. At the time I was a much smaller content creator and DCpup platform was much bigger.

He apologized and said he would give me a cut of the sales. I said don't bother and reluctantly let him do what he wanted. At the time I was too scared to make enemies so I fell into people pleasing.

I took more work from DCpup because I needed the money and I hoped it would be good for my channel growth. He would upload my work to his store and wouldn't credit me. I was frustrated.

The tipping point was after the final comm I took from him. An animated ending screen. During this process DCpup would message me everyday asking for updates which was annoying. When I delivered the final product he once again asked for my tiny, half transparent signature to be removed. I was so upset and defeated, I told myself I'd fight it but I didn't. I removed my sign from every layer, reanimated the whole thing and vowed not to take work from him.

After the piece was done he wanted to commission me again. I left him on read, then I found out what he was saying about me to other people. A good friend of mine showed me a message he had sent in his stream, telling him not to bother commission me, because I would be too busy doing work for him. I was furious.

Another week later I got raided by someone and told the new viewers to check out my work, it broke my heart when someone who looked at my insta, told me he had no idea I made all of DCpups stuff. Why would he? Dcypherpup went to ridiculous lengths to hide my credit. He was telling people not to contact me and not tagging any comm work with my name. One day he came into my live stream and I was so mad I banned him on the spot .

I wish I had done more to be assertive, live and learn. Funnily enough I found out he posted a big rant, telling people off for supporting JK Rowling when Hogwarts legacy released. Only to be called out for buying it and playing it on his steam, which he had forgotten to make private. He deleted the tweet. What a cunt.

Undertheredmoon and Greenypika

Redmoon is furry streamer that I use to really like. They were funny, had great energy and I would even go as far to say that they were a friend.

All this came to a grinding hault the day he invited furry artist and accused child groomer Daveoverlord to join us on Monster hunter rise live on stream.

Dave wasn't in voice chat and I wasn't reading Redmoons twitch chat at the time, so although I was aware of who Dave was, I didn't realize it was them. When someone messaged me about it a few days later I was mortified, I assumed Redmoon didn't know and I messaged them immediately.

I asked Red if he knew who Dave was and what he had done and the kind of artists he was friends with (cub artists). Redmoon ghosted me, left me on read for a week. I messaged again asking why he wasn't talking to me. He said he was too stressed to deal with this "drama" and didn't care to get involved. He mentioned that if Dave was guilty cops probably would have gotten involved and said he just wanted to focus on his own work.

When I asked Redmoon where he stood on cub porn, he stopped replying. We haven't spoken since.

The same person who told me about Dave joining stream also pointed out that Greenypika was inviting Dave onto his stream. They dm'd greeny and asked them if they knew and greeny said he had no idea and that he'd look into it. Greeny hadn't responded for a few months so I dm'd him with the same message and got the same copy paste reply. TLDR greeny knew and was just lying about it so I blocked him too.

Daveoverlord

Dudes a fucking groomer and now he streams. Blocked.

Cidermarten

Cider and I got into an argument once, the topic of which is no one's business.

His bf weyland got mad at me for it and vague tweeted about it so I decided to start a group chat with them to sort it out. And we did.

I apologised for what I did and cider took some time away from interacting with me. Everyone in this situation wanted what was best. And weyland is now one of my best friends.

Cider and I aren't as close as we could be but that's my fault. They're honestly a wonderful person and I appreciate their friendship. There inclusion in this list is to prove a point later but they're also the only person here who I think deserves success.

Stripeydragon and Break trail.

This one is complicated because it involves someone who ment a lot to me.

Back when the exclusive stream team Break Trail formed, my good friend Marsh joined the team. Being an artist he did a lot of the teams promo art of all it's members. Marsh had a lot of anxieties about the team because he was one of its smallest members and often told me he felt underappreciated or out of place. This feeling for worse when artist/streamer and fellow team member Stripeydragon decided he was going to do a redraw of all of marsh's promo work.

I didn't see Marsh much at the time but when this began he spent the better part of a week in my mod chat expressing how upset he was about it. It didn't help he was already anxious but he felt stripydragon was replacing him and even mentioned a time when he tried to give feedback on stripys work only for him to disregard it. Marsh was really fucking upset.

After stripeydragon posted the work my moderator, Ibn, who had been listening and consoling marsh for a week, decided to comment on the art publically. He said he didn't think stripyes version of the art was better and criticized him of slimming down the fater characters.

I wanna pause this to say I don't condone what Ibn did. He ment well but it wasn't his fight and he shouldn't have commented a critique on something no one asked him to judge. Don't do this. Anyway...

Stripeydragon fucking hated this. Not only did he respond to every tweet, he went into the break trail discord and rallied everyone to defend him and attack Ibn, a lot of break trail members also rushed to the comments to defend stripey and attack ibn. He also posted ibns comment in his own discord to encourage others to dog pile on. This shit got out of hand super fucking fast. Ibn was crying and marsh was pissed. It was betray of trust on Ibns part, but the way stripey responded was downright scary.

Shit was at its peak by the time I woke up (Australian timezone) and I immediately went into damage control. I gave Ibn a huge lecture, I was mad af and told him to apologize. I dm'd breaktrails stream team manager Mari, and tried my best to defuse the situation so that both parties could stop. Everyone deleted their tweets. Ibn apologised a dozen times and Marsh told everyone that ibn was just an asshole.

So the story everyone believes now is that marsh actually loves stripydragons work and Ibn is just a weird jerk. There where no consequences for stripydragons weaponizing a stream team and their fan base against someone on twitter. They're still a member of break trail but the team has been dead for a long time. I understand that Ibn was in the wrong and marsh should have just talked about his issues with his team. But this is another case of someone with a big platform and bigger ego not hesitating to use that to attack others.

Starkymorph

this one is fucked up.

Starky mods for a bunch of break trail members, so he had an inside look into the whole stripeydragon thing. Keep that in mind.

About a year after the stripey incident, I woke up to a message from starky. I had recently finished a commission for starky but apart from that we didn't know each other well.

He claimed that ibn had harassed him on stream by bringing up controversial topics and that because he was my mod he wasn't going to support me any more. I was pretty angry, Ibn was causing trouble again. I dm'd ibn and told him I didn't want to hear what he had to say and instead I just wanted the timestamp on Starkeys VOD so I could see what he did myself.

I watched the VOD and what I saw didn't line up with anything starky had said. He made the whole thing up.

What really happened was, starky decided to bring up "cancel culture" and went on a rant about how it was inherently bad and that anyone who participates in it only does it for "self-aggrandizing reasons". A lot of the shit he said was very thinly veiled right wing bullshit dog whistles.

Ibn asked him to elaborate and said something to the likes of "what about people who cancel pedos and rapists" and starky banned ibn and ended the convo.

Ibn didn't start the controversial topic and he didn't harass anyone. But starky was mad and wanted to attack him, he knew Ibn had a history of starting shit so he came to me with a bullshit story thinking I'd believe him and Ibn would lose his friends. And it almost worked.

I tried to talk some sense into starky, I pointed out that his original message was dishonest. Starky doubled down and made up more lies. He continued to claim that things happened during the stream that aren't in the VOD. He even bought up weylandshere and claimed he was harassing him too, out of nowhere! which if you watch the VOD is also completely made up. He said some ablist shit about "high functioning autism" aswell, its all really incoherent. Non of this is true and I downloaded the VOD so he couldn't hide the evidence.

Starky tried to use my argument with cider and Ibns argument with stripy as evidence that we were bad people. I found this really sinister, because my initial reaction to Starkys story, was that i believed him, pretty much everyone reacted this way. It upsets me that i was almost convinced to distance myself from my best friend because of a lie.

A ton of people didn't watch the VOD and took Starkeys word. Starky blocked me and started asking all his followers and mutuals to do the same. A whole bunch of people sub tweeted about ibn being an abuser and me being an enabler. It was fucking aweful. It went on for days.

This only stopped when Kyziethewolf stepped in and defended me. Even tho starky was one of his best friends, he had watched the VOD and told everyone he was lying. Starky doesn't talk to kyzie now and it really broke his heart.

A lot of people still believe starky and I lost a bunch of mutual streamers support because of this. It's one of the worst attacks I've suffered on twitter/twitch to date.

I found out a few months later he's added "outcast is racist" to the narrative he tells people and there's nothing I can do about that

This also basically ended my friendship with Marsh. I've known marsh for 7 years and hes a friend of Starkeys too. During this whole ordeal he never spoke up, it was only kyzie. I was really upset about this because i feel that Marsh could have made a significant change to how this played out if he had of just stepped in.

When he dm'd me a few weeks after asking if I'm make some free art for his project I told him no. I told him I was hurt. He said he just didn't want to get involved in drama. i think its really harmful to reduce harassment to just "drama". We've stopped talking.

Jayedskier

I met jayed though my friend weyland. I needed a 3D artists and he needed work.

Jayed had recently lost a lot of friends because during COVID he tweeted that people not social distancing at a furcon where putting disabled, high risk, people's lives in danger. Totally righteous imo.

He however also tweeted that anyone who doesn't where a mask should kill themselves and deservingly got a lot of hate and backlash. Lost a lot of friends. Since then he was pretty unwilling to comment on any political shit. Publically that is.

The first fight I got into with jayed was when Ibn reposted a Tumblr thread about the YouTuber keffals, and some of the problematic things she'd done. Jayed loves keffals so he dm'd Ibn about it and started a huge fight defending his favourite YouTuber. I stepped in to try and resolve the fight but no one was really happy.

This argument made jayed realise that he didn't have the same values as the friend group he was in. He liked keffals, he thought it was ok to say the R slur and he felt people should be allowed to support JK Rowling.

He left my discord and I contacted him trying to smooth things over. We talked for a long time and I settled on agree to dissagree the hopes to change his mind on some of these issues.

That didn't happen. Jayed kept starting fights about woke shit, even though he's a self proclaimed "leftist" and it slowly drove a wedge between us. He stopped talking to everyone in our friend group, unfollowed us all on socials.

Artists/streamer and friend Ixu had drawn a big group shot of all of us together. Weyland (who is in this friend group) was pretty angry about the whole ordeal so he asked Ixu for a version without jayed edited out. When he posted this jayed got super pissed about it.

Jayed tweeted about how unwelcoming my community was. Screen caped some DM's and changed the context. I was so angry, I had spent months continuing to offer my friend ship and trying to change his mind. One of the last fights we got into he said he was mad that "people" expected him to show support for Palestine and thats kind of the end of it.

This one hurt because it felt like a betrayal. Jayed you can get fucked dude.

Socksthewolf

This one is super recent and is basically why I decided to write this.

I can't remember how I met socks. They work in the games industry and they have a LOT of money/connections. He gives away a lot of stuff, Donates to people a lot. He very affectionate and Everyone loves him. I even accepted a bunch of charity/gifts from him and in return drew a bunch of gift art.

Socks success made a few mutuals of mine uncomfortable. He had a lot of money to put into stream so his channel grew insanely fast. I'm also told he made comments to some mutuals, comparing channel growth that made them feel bad. He ran multiple giveaways and got partner almost a year after starting stream.

There was some drama between socks and one of his mods. I tried my hardest not to get involved. Socks employs a lot of parasocial strategies in order to retain an audience so he flirts a lot and also has a persona of "I'm you dad" on stream. Idk if this counts as love bombing, but it feels similar.

I heard that one of his mods developed a crush on him and when rejected, he drank himself into the hospital. He almost died.

I spoke with this ex mod about it. He doesn't blame socks for what happened even tho he feels the rejection was harsh. I still feel that socks takes advantage of people with his gifts and parasocial friendship. This is a result of that going unchecked.

One of our mutuals found out about this and was really upset. They tweeted about it and tried to hold socks accountable. Nothing came of it.

I grew distant from socks when he started hanging out with Redmoon a lot. Because I felt close to them at the time I messaged him a about Redmoon and what happened between us. He never replied.

This story takes a dark turn when jayedskier, friend of socks, decided to make that tweet mentioned in his section. Socks also went in on someone jayed had mentioned.

This is about my good friend Weyland. Weyland had had someone very close to them pass away recently. Socks complied some tweets and chat screen caps, and made up a story of weyland threatening to kill themselves.

Some of the messages were about weylands dead friend. Socks knowingly changed the context and lied to make weyland look bad.

I honestly think this is the worst thing on this post. To use the death of someone and the personal anguish of someone and ammo for you bullshit story about them is fucking horrifying.

I replied to socks tweet about weyland, I told him what he was doing was wrong. He told me that he feels bad I'm surrounded by toxic people and that he hopes they get better.

After seeing the way socks treats his audience and the way he lied about another streamer, I genuinely believe hes some kind of abuser. Idk the vibe is REALLY off with this one. This feels worse then bullying, there's an ego about it. I've blocked socks on everything. Frankly they scare me.

Final notes

Anyway that's been my aweful experience with aweful twitch streamers. The whole thing has left me bitter and sad and I no longer want to interact with anyone. idk where to go from here.

Twitch TOS doesn't care what people say or do on other platforms. And with other streamers/mutuals so unwilling to get involved or show support I just feel alone.

I do feel compelled to speak up when I see or experience something I think isn't right. I think a lot of neurodivegant people, like myself, feel that way. But I think it's been terrible for my career. I hate the feeling that I'd be so much more successful if I'd shut my mouth and looked away. Maybe even be partner by now. I know a lot of this comes across as just "furry drama" but i think its reductive to label it as that. Content creators who engage in these kind of harmful behaviors need to be held accountable if we want to see any positive change. And im not saying that means "CANCEL" them. some (not all) of these content creators can still learn and grow and be better. Negative attitudes and dismissive statements of "its just drama" create a space for bullies to thrive

Finally, please PLEASE do NOT under any circumstances harass anyone involved in this post. This is not an attempt to rally the masses to lynch some people, im just telling my story so that next time you see someone come forward with claims about a content creator you like you'll see the situation differently.

If you made it this far, wow. Thank you. Dunno if I'll post the vids/screencap evidence. I don't know if I care enough.

[derschleierfallt]

Pls share actor opinions!! :D

OK. biggest question of my life. gonna list top 3 favs for elisabeth and tod but i’ll throw in a rudolf or two. honorable mentions and least favs too just for funsies. also it’s going to be painfully obvious that i mostly stick to german language productions sorry in advance. and nothing too niche probably. maybe one day ill revise when i’ve watched like every video i have

elisabeth

1. pia douwes

OF COURSE NUMBER ONE IS PIA. she is my absolute favorite actress, not just in this role but also just in general. i first saw her in the role in the essen proshot, and how she conveyed all the different highs and lows of the character was just so good. you can feel every emotion and you can believe every word. i had watched the 2005 vienna proshot first, and i liked it a lot, but it wasn’t until i saw pia in the titular role that everything really clicked. her understanding of the character is so compelling, and i literally just don’t get tired of it. she’s also an absolute powerhouse vocally. hoping to go to the netherlands next year to see her in the show for real!

2. ranno hana

okaaayy i haven’t watched zuka 2014 in a BIT but… ok confession… i don’t love zukabeth. i like it enough, but a lot of the changes are just tooo hard for me to completely forgive lol. that said, i’ve watched a few productions, and this one was a standout for me, mostly bc of this elisabeth (and tod tbh but this isn’t abt them rn). i really loved her portrayal of the character, acting-wise i think she’s seriously incredible. vocally she’s not exactly a favorite, but like who gaf. she’s GOOD! her wenn ich tanzen will is one of my favorites, as is her ich gehor nur mir. so fun to watch

3. maya hakvoort

don’t be fooled even though vienna 2005 didn’t completely hook me at first i do like maya a lot. in terms of character, i think maya plays it a little more broken and beaten, which is an interpretation of the character i love. she’s crushing under all this weight, and though she remains strong, she really really shows all the cracks that form. her der schleier fallt with mate always makes me wanna bash my head in (in a really good way!)

honorable mentions

nicole sieger. kind of. only shitty audios exist of her performance but i like them a lot lol

mari hanafusa (toho 2016) didn’t love her in zuka 96 but she’s really good here

ruth kraus. recently watched a video with her and i liked it a lot! seen some people say she’s lacking but i don’t believe it

not my fav

maike boerdam. not sure if this is like a hot or cold or middling take? personally not a fan of her elisabeth, some of the acting choices take me out of it and while she’s talented, her singing just isn’t my thing! she has good moments though and she is in many great essen photos and i do love essen promo photos

der tod

1. uwe kröger

92 vienna specifically. this is The tod. u cannot say the word death without me thinking of that swoopy 90s hair. u can’t talk abt some random guy named todd without me thinking of that swoopy 90s hair. he lives in my head and i cant evict him. i love other interpretations of the character and while i dont like to be all THIS IS THE ONE CORRECT WAY TO PLAY THIS AND THIS… this is the most correct in my heart. i love the ambiguity so much. i think its essential. most vienna tods from this era just don’t really captivate me as much as uwe bc i think the bar was set so high (and vienna content is SCARCE to say the least). i like him in essen as well, but the way the character was directed in that production isssss inferior imo. he’s got good elisabeth takes too so number one

2. jesper tydén

i really don’t know how this happened. i really really just like his tod. depending on the day i think he could switch with mate. i get the vibe that his tod is a conniving little beyotch. slimy, maybe is the way to put it? but not exactly as gross as slimy would suggest? unhinged, but not flying off the handle? calculated, but not fully controlled? i think it’s also the vocals that bump him up for me, he’s got some GOOD vocals that really get to shine in this role. i do also just really love essen understudies for some reason

3. máté kamarás

like i said he can swap for jesper but today is a jesper in 2 day. for me, mate is more the acting and not so much vocals, at least later in the vienna revival run and every production onward. i do love his voice earlier on though, so it’s a shame his voice kinda suffered a bit! maybe this kinda sounds like a diss or something but ITS NOT. i think mate tod is really captivating, there’s this vibe that the impossible really did happen, he really did love elisabeth, and he plays it very well. he bounces off of the other actors incredibly (vienna revival im specifically thinking about), so every interaction with every character has something just sooo good about it. i also like how sparkly he is in hungarian productions

honorable mentions

yu shirota. see my post abt him being a freak. love it!

addo kruizinga. specifically in original vienna, i actually didn’t like him at first but his interpretation really grew on me

lukas mayer. so happy to see a new tod i actually really like show up, i hope we’ll see him in this role again

5. least fav

m….ma……r…….k… coldest take on tumblr dot com possibly ever! every performance i’ve seen he just looks so bored or so done. however i think he’s good vocally, and im sure he is better in other shows. but in elisabeth he’s bored and im bored, so not for me!

rudolf

1. andreas bieber

number one is all original vienna i’m sorry LOL it’s andreas bieber. wenn ich dein spiegal wär was written because of him (or something like that), so i think that says something! not sure how exactly to put this but i like how ? pitiful ? his rudolf is LMFAO. when i was just getting into elisabeth and browsing through youtube clips i didn’t understand whatsoever his rendition of the aforementioned song struck a chord with me. no clue what he could’ve possibly been singing about, didn’t even know the historical context lol, but i could infer enough from his acting and it was SAD. seeing mayerling for the first time when actually watching the musical in full was like ohhh…

honorable mentions (tbh i didn’t focus on rudolf much until recently so sorry)

jesper tydén AGAIN. sorry he’s good. i wish he was in the vienna revival longer than he was

dennis hupka. part of the reason why i care abt rudolf more now LOLOLOL

also to end it off serkan is obviously my fav lucheni alongside i think 99.9% of people and i have no more to say than that. serkan is the standard for me and it has not been reached again… not that my eyes have seen… except maybe that guy who was the one thing i liked abt schonbrunn 2019 but i don’t remember his name atm