#would be funny if they added an episode for the season number

[homosexualtransexual]

just hit me that season 17 is gonna be the first season where an episode number doesn't match the season number

[hyperobsessedd]

Joost Klein SFW Alphabet

a/n: can we just admire how good joost looks in the pictures above

cw: light cussing, some sexual implications (nothing happens), mentions of death, mentions of drugs and alcohol

⟡⋆.˚❀⋆.˚⟡

A=Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

It’s fairly obvious that the man is very touchy and energetic with everyone, even more so with his partner (you) tbh.

He would always try to touch you in some sense wether that be holding your hand while walking, keeping his arm around your waist while hanging out with your mutual friends, or just resting his head on your shoulder whenever he feels tired.

When you guys are at home he would probably sneak up behind you whenever he saw you doing stuff around the house. Once he snuck up behind you while you were seasoning some vegetables with cayenne pepper, safe to say that the broccoli tasted like satan’s dandruff.

Joost seems like he would be a D1 clinger; always wanting to be around you and following you around everywhere. Luckily he isn’t to light a sleeper and does not wake up immediately after you get out of bed so at least you can piss in peace at three am; the same cannot be said during the day time though. You could be taking the shortest shower ever and he would still come into the bathroom just to bother you.

“Baby, why is the sky blue.”

“I don’t fucking know”

“Ok”

Even though he can be annoy just for the sake of bothering you he would love to see you happy; your smile was his favorite thing to see. He would give you endless compliments and praise, he would always do anything that you asked him to, and of course he would always love giving you the tightest hugs ever.

B=Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start)

When you first met joost you never thought that you’d be dating him; you just assumed that he would be another acquaintance you had in the Netherlands. Joost on the other hand knew that he liked you as soon as he saw you.

After that first interaction you exchanged numbers and started talking more and more. He eventually became your best friend. You two were inseparable for the most part; he would always be in your apartment and vice versa. He would always try to make you laugh with his corny jokes and as much as you tried not to you always let out a chuckle or two.

he breathed in and out before he opened his mouth “okay, why is 6 scared of 7” he stared at you with those piercing baby blue eyes

“Why” you already knew the answer but wanted to see where he went with it

“Because 7,8,9” he burst out laughing, you would’ve thought that Jim Carey was doing a live performance in front of joost with the sound of his laughter.

You tried not to laugh but joost’s cackle was to infectious and you just couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“See I am very funny you just don’t like to admit it” he added once his little episode ended

“Your laugh is funnier than your jokes to be honest” you retorted

“Sure buddy”

Overall he would be a great friend who’s always there for you and always supports you. He would always take you to different places and maybe even invite you on tour, well if you had time that is.

And like all best friends do you guys had so many inside jokes that no one other than you two get. Once when you were out together you once saw a guy who stole something getting chased by a man who appeared to be a giant, he yelled “get back here” with a big deep growl. Now whenever you’re all alone one you says get back here and both of you start to giggle; recalling how funny the moment was

C= Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

This man is obsessed with cuddling and hugging you to be honest. The first thing he does after coming home from tour is taking of his shoes (duh) and then getting into bed with you; trying not to wake you up and pulling your body closer to his. You smell so good and he can’t resist just taking a small sniff of you. If you were to wake up he would stroke your hair and shush back to sleep.

He can’t help but hug you every time he sees you wether that be a small side hug or a tight ass bear hug that leaves you breathless. He just loves wrapping his arms around your waist when you’re cooking, cleaning, or brushing your teeth. He would sneak up behind you, wrap his strong arms around you, and whisper sweet nothings into your ear; hoping that in return for his kindness he would get a small peck on the lips and maybe somewhere else too

When cuddling in bed or on the couch he would always have his longs legs wrapped around you, another way that he would keep you from leaving his warm embrace. Even though he’s a mega yapper something about being in your presence calms him; he would be super silent whenever he had you like this. He would also love playing with you hair if you let him (all my curly girls/boys/theys know exactly what I’m talking about) and if you didn’t he would resort to slightly stroking your hands

D= Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Joost never though that he would settle down. He was used to the rockstar lifestyle full of parties, drugs, and alcohol; That was until he met you. He was smitten the second he started talking to you, his loud and cool personality seemed to have floated away to some distant galaxy when he opened his mouth. Overall he was very sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you from the moment he met you.

He would know basic kitchen skills like how to fry and scramble eggs but other than that he was completely clueless. Before he met you his diet was made up of takeout and potato chips. You tried to teach him how to cook but he was not receptive at all; he jumped whenever he heard oil pop and somehow burned the pasta you were trying to prepare so now you’re the one who cooks for the both of you.

Joost would be way better at cleaning than he is at cooking. He can be unorganized at times but he can really pull through whenever you need him to

E= Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He wouldn’t try to beat around the bush, he’d just tell you directly not trying to play with emotions. Leaving you was probably the hardest decision he had ever made and the face you made after he broke the news didn’t make him feel any better

F= Fiance (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He knew that he wanted to be in a committed relationship the moment he met you but more dating than marriage. As time passed he fell more in love with you and that’s when he knew he needed to marry you. It would take him a couple years to get comfortable with the idea of marriage and a couple months to actually plan out your engagement.

G= Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

The definition of gentle giant. For the most part he treats you like a little flowers whose petals might come off if roughed up enough but on the other hand he could also be rough; not enough to harm you but still rough. You guys will play fight a lot and that usually ends in one of you landing on their ass and the other hysterically

H= Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it and what is it like?)

The man is obsessed with both giving and receiving hugs. He loves wrapping his arms around you after a long day and just breathing your scent in. It could be 90 degrees outside and he would still want to hug you (he would pout when you pulled him off of your sweaty body).

He just loves feeling close to you and hugging you is like the closest he can get for now.

I= I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take him 3 months max to say I love you. He had invited you over for a movie night; he bought all the sweets, drinks, and chips he knew you liked (because as I said before he only knows how to make eggs) and spread them over his kitchen table; almost like a movie theater. A half hour into the movie and both you were on the verge of sleep; both of you trying to keep your eyes open for the other.

You started to “rest” your eyes and lay your head down on joost’s lap. 5 minutes had passed and you surprisingly hadn’t fallen asleep yet. But just as you were about to pass you felt joost’s warm hands stroking at your head, he silently whispered the words “I love you” into your head. You slowly turned around and whispered “I love you” back to him before finally falling asleep

J= Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they get jealous?)

He isn’t jealous most times. He feels very secure in your relationship and knows that you would never try to hurt him. Even though he knows all of this he can’t but be jealous over petty things sometimes

Like why are you always smiling at everyone?why do other people stare at you do much? how come your cat can see you naked and he can’t?

These are all very important questions that he needs the answers to immediately.

If you guys go on a night out trust he will be keeping you as close as possible and stare in the soul of anyone who even tries to flirt with you.

K= Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He kisses you nice and slow; trying to savor the moment for as long as possible. He would love kissing you everywhere but his personal favorite would be your plump lips, your neck, and all over your back. He lovesss when you kiss his lips and neck (he’s also obsessed with the idea of you giving him hickeys and is constantly asking you to give him at least one)

L= Little ones (How are they around children?)

His silly and goofy demeanor translates well into taking care of kids. He just loves hanging around kids; their wonder and hopefulness really makes him want to have a kid of his own.

M= Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He stays up late and wakes up extremely late. No matter how late you wake up he will always wake up at least an later. Once he woke up at four in the afternoon. Even if he does manage to wake up early he would stay in bed and cuddle with you. Don’t even think of trying to escape he grasp because he will pull you closer and wrap his arms around you even tighter. You would have to be actively pissing your pants for him to let you go.

N= Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He would stay up longer than you most nights or simply just come home very late. On the off chance that he doesn’t come him he’ll call you and let you know so that you don’t stay up all night waiting for him. He loves to watch you do your skincare routine; always asking what the product your using is and what it does.

Another thing he loves to do is watch you. Just watching the face you make when your scrolling on your phone is enough to make his heart melt. Not to mention the face you make while your asleep, whenever he gets home late he’ll just stand at the door of your shared bedroom and just look at your calm face.

O= Open (When will they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or do they reveal little things slowly?)

Joost is a very honest person so he would tell you a lot about himself the first few times you hang out.

In regards to deep secrets it would probably take him a bit longer to tell you about them but even then he told you a majority of them by month 3 of your relationship.

P= Patience (How easily are they angered?)

When it comes to you he’s never mad, he’s like a slightly laid back version of himself when he’s around you. He’ll only ever snap if he’s under a lot of stress and you keep pushing him with questions.

But if anyone were ever to disrespect you in front of him they would never hear the end of it, he would call them ever insult he could think them and force them to apologize to you.

Q= Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail or forget the minor things?)

That man is absolutely obsessed with you so trust that he will remember almost everything you tell him. He knows your favorite brand of detergent, your favorite artist, he just knows everything about you and what you like. There are some things that he might forget but for the most part he knows everything there is to know about you.

R= Remember (What is their favorite moment of your relationship?)

Everything. His favorite moment is quite literally everything you have done together.

S= Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

He’s like your own private bodyguard. He is very protective over you and hates whenever someone else tries to talk to you while y’all are in the middle of a conversation. He finds himself hovering behind you at different events just so that no one else has the opportunity to try and sway you away (he knows that you’d never leave him but still they should fuck off).

T= Try (How much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Baby boy is always trying his best whenever he does something for you. He’ll listen more intently once it gets closer to different events/holidays like Christmas, your birthday, and your guys’ anniversary.

He really does try to make life easier for you but when it comes to cooking and storing dishes he’s completely useless.

U= Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Whenever gets hyper obsessed (me reference) /focused on different projects he’ll just shut everyone else out and do whatever he needs to do with no break. He’ll also lash out at people who try to talk to him about something other than the project at hands whenever something like this happens. A complete 180 but he would also be a compulsive nail bitter, it’s just something he does whenever he’s bored. You’ve tried to get him to stop but nothing works.

V= Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Joost Klein is a fashion icon, do you think that he wouldn’t be obsessed with the way he looks. He loves shopping (specifically thrift stores) and he loves whenever you pick out something for him, even if he doesn’t like the piece it’s still nice that you thought about him.

He loves whenever you do his hair and makeup. Even if your doing a lit comb of his hair or putting a bit of concealer under his eyes he just loves that you care about him enough to do all of that.

He calls you every day when he’s on tour always wanting your opinion on his outfit and hair and just your opinion about his in general (he really cares about what you think if you haven’t noticed).

W= Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He hates being away from you in general. He misses you when your at work and he’s at home, he misses you when you’re picking up dinner and he’s in your shared apartment; counting down the minutes until your home, and he especially hates when you’re using the restroom and he’s just laying in bed.

So just imagine how he would feel if you ever broke up or if god forbid you ever died. He would never be the same again in either cases. Spending the rest of his life sulking over you.

X= Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

This man is a eater (in both of the ways your thinking hunny). It’s like the acid in his stomach is extra strong and just dissolves everything he consumed immediately with the amount he eats. You could prepare a feast fit for a small village and he would eat the whole thing and ask for dessert. Speaking of dessert whenever you make like a pie you secretly make another one for yourself because you already know the first one is going to be done by tomorrow.

Y= Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

Can’t stand people who speak down to others and people who are rude in general. He also hates certain vegetables when they’re mushy like peas and mushrooms.

Z= Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of theirs?)

He’s a semi deep sleeper but he has a very strong grip when he’s asleep so good like trying to go use the restroom late at night. He snores softly while asleep, it’s not like those obnoxious snores you hear in the movies but almost like a soft snort. He moves around a lot in his sleep and takes you with him, sometimes you wake up on the other side of the bed opposite the headboard.

⟡⋆.˚❀⋆.˚⟡

I lowkey wanna do a nsfw version but I don’t really know, lemme know what you think

Notes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated and ty for reading

[love-takes-work]

I've seen a fair number of people interpret Rebecca Sugar's (and the Crew's) decision to put Ruby in a dress as subversive, and I want to discuss why that feels like a clear miss to me.

Every time--every single time--I've heard Rebecca Sugar talk about the queer relationships on this show, it comes with this expression of wholesomeness, and often glazed with a sheen of wistfulness, flavored something like "I needed this as a child and young person, and I didn't have it." Much of Rebecca Sugar's work to bring this wedding (and other unapologetic queer relationships) to the screen was framed as an emergency--as in, we HAVE to get this out there for those kids we used to be, because we know they're drowning.

Yes, it's funny sometimes when people make jokes about Sugar deliberately "adding more gay" or "making it gayer" as a big eff-you to the people who spoke against it, but that doesn't sit right from where I'm standing. It took so much strength (and resulted in so much battle damage) to fight that fight, yes. But from everything I can see from the interviews and conversations I've seen and read, this wasn't served up in a "ha-HA, take THAT!" kind of way. These characters having these kinds of relationships should have been a non-issue, and the fact that their very wholesome kids'-show wedding and very sweet kiss and very adorable love for each other was seen as Political when it should have been just two characters in love is so sad to me.

I've seen dozens of people suggest that Ruby is in a dress and Sapphire is in a suit "to fuck with the bigoted censors in other countries" or "to give the finger to gender roles," but again, I think it is simpler and sweeter than that. Rebecca's said that Ruby in a dress is how she feels in a dress. Celebration and exploration of feminine-coded stuff felt wrong to Rebecca for a long time, like it wasn't hers, because she wasn't really a woman and didn't want it forced on her. As a result she was robbed of all the beauty that should have been a non-issue, from what TV shows and toys she was supposed to enjoy as a kid to what kind of person she was supposed to marry and what she should wear as an adult.

Ruby never got a choice about how she looked really. Once she got to choose her presentation for a significant event, this is what she chose. It means so much more to see that than to construct it primarily as a reactionary measure, as if it would somehow foil the sinister censors in more homophobic countries (who, incidentally, are not therefore forced to show Ruby in a dress even though they tried to hide that Ruby was a "she" or that she was in a romantic relationship with another "she"; y'all, they just don't show the episode).

We see plenty of other examples of gender-role-related expectations being casually stepped on and squashed, like when they took the trouble to give traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine "clothes" to some watermelons to make the audience think there was a husband and wife watermelon only to have the wife be the warrior and the husband stay home with the child. With stuff like that, yeah, sure, maybe it's designed to make you think "oh isn't that very feminist of them!" Or maybe it's more "well why do I see this as a 'reversal' when it's just a thing that happened?" This show is full of ladyish beings who fight and have power. And as for Steven. . . .

Nobody has negative reactions onscreen (or even particularly confused reactions) when Steven wears traditionally feminine clothes, and it is (of course) also not presented as a "boy in a dress gag"--it's not supposed to be funny. When they go all in slathering Steven in literal princess tropes throughout the final act of Season 5, we understand that it's because the powerful Diamonds expect him to be Pink Diamond, not because the show is trying to girlify him or embarrass him or even make the audience think positive thoughts about boys in girls' clothes. It's more neutral than that in my interpretation: "these are literally just pieces of cloth, and while some of them have meaning, they don't inherently have a gender." I don't see this as transgressive. It's just in a world where putting on what you want to wear doesn't HAVE to be a political statement. (Though obviously it CAN be, and plenty of people wear a variety of clothes as a fuck-you to whoever they want to give the finger to. I just don't see that as happening here.)

Don't get me wrong; Rebecca Sugar certainly knew about the politics (intimately) and has lived at many of their intersections. She was not ignorant of how queer people are seen in this world. She was silenced as a bisexual person because her identity supposedly didn't matter if she was with a man and planned to be with that same man forever. She was shunted into "omg a woman did this!" categories over and over again, which she wore uneasily as a nonbinary person while accepting that part of who we are is how the world sees us. But what is it like if everything someone like her embraces is seen as a statement synonymous with "fuck you" to someone else?

She is married to a person who happens to be a man and happens to be Black. Her relationship isn't a "statement" about either of those aspects of his existence; her love is simply something that is. She is Jewish working in a society that's largely Christian. Her cultural perspective to NOT center her cartoon around Christian holidays and Christian morals; her choices to make an alternate world in this specific way is simply something that is. Her queer perspective as a nonbinary bisexual person has helped inform the Gems' radical philosophy of "what if we learned to explore and define ourselves instead of doing the 'jobs' we're assigned and being told it's our nature?" Her decision to include queer people in a broadly queer cartoon isn't designed PRIMARILY as a battle against baddies, or to drown out all the relentless straightness, or to deliciously get our queer little paws all over their kids' TV. It's an act of love.

So this is just to say that though I DO understand that sometimes subversion and intentional transgression are very necessary, I do not think that's the HEART of what's going on at this Gem wedding. We got a wholesome marriage scene between two of the most lovely little flawed-but-still-somehow-perfect characters, and I very much want to see their choices as being about them. About how Ruby feels in a dress. About how Sapphire feels about not having to always wear a dress. About them incorporating a symbol of their union into their separate lives so they can have some independence in their togetherness. About them celebrating their love by letting Steven wipe his schmaltz all over them.

There are many choices in the show that ARE carefully constructed to counter existing narratives, you know, giving the Crystal Gems' only boy all the healing, pink, flower imagery; having a single-sex species that's ladyish with all the members going by "she"; featuring many nurturing male characters who cry and cook and raise kids without mothers; pairing multiple fighty ladies with gentler guys; and importantly, intentionally loading up the show with stories, characters, and imagery any gender will find appealing despite being tasked with expectations to pander to the preteen boy demographic.

But it's very important to me that the inclusion of queer characters and the featuring of their choices be seen primarily as a loving act, and way way less of a "lol screw the bigots." I want our stories to be about us. Yes, I know it's a necessary evil that sometimes our stories are also about fighting Them. But every time I see someone say they put Ruby in the dress to "piss off the homophobes" or "stump the censors" I feel a little gross. Like the time I picked out an outfit I loved and my mom said I only dressed in such an obnoxious way to upset her, and I was baffled because my aesthetic choices, my opinions, my choices had nothing to do with her. Yet they were framed like I chose these clothes primarily to cause some kind of petty harm to her, when not only was it not true but I was not even that kind of person who would gloat over intentionally irritating someone.

The queerness of this show isn't a sneaky, underhanded act trying above all to upset a bigot or celebrate someone's homophobic fury. It lives for itself. Its existence is about itself. It's so we can see ourselves in a show, and it's so people who aren't queer or don't have those experiences can see that we exist, we participate, we want very similar things, and definitely are focusing way more about celebrating our love at our own weddings rather than relishing the thought of bigots tearing their hair out and hating us.

It's dangerous to turn every act of our love into a deliberate movement in a battle strategy when their weddings just get to be weddings.

I think there’s this idea that that [queer characters] is something that applies or should be only discussed with adults that is completely wrong. And I think when you realize that talking to kids about heteronormativity is just like air that you breathe all the time, it’s kind of amazing that that is not true in any other capacity. I think if you wait to tell kids, to tell queer youth that it matters how they feel or that they are even a person, then it’s going to be too late! You have to talk about it—you have to let it be what it gets to be for everyone. I mean, like, I think about, a lot of times I think about sort of fairy tales and Disney movies and the way that love is something that is ALWAYS discussed with children. And I think also there’s this idea that’s like, oh, we should represent, you know, queer characters that are adults, because there are adults that are queer, and you should know that’s something that is happening in the adult world, but that’s not how those films or those stories are told to children. You’re told that YOU should dream about love, about this fulfilling love that YOU’RE going to have. […] The Prince and Snow White are not like someone’s PARENTS. They’re something you want to be, that you are sort of dreaming of a future where you will find happiness. Why shouldn’t everyone have that? It’s really absurd to think that everyone shouldn’t get to have that! --Rebecca Sugar

[enteringdullsville]

But what is if Island was made today?

The A. Plot Trio redesigned. Personalities largely the same, although (Le)Sha(u)na trades some of her trademark slang to make room for an even more snarky attitude.

Emphasis on “some”. Her calling Harry a tadpole will never not be funny.

Heather’s a little less impulsive here. Where the canon one would read Gwen’s dialogue to the world, this one would hide it and use it as blackmail. Harold’s about the same, but even more of a theatre kid.

I like to think that the writing on his shirt will change every episode.

Justin starts off as his Action self: not a complete jerk, but still very vain and petty. Katie and Sadie, however, get a complete overhaul, going the “odd friendship” route by playing up Katie’s energetic tendencies and Sadie’s relative intelligence.

Now I kinda regret ditching the hat. Eh. Anyway, they’re about the same.

Owen, Tyler, and DJ are mostly unchanged. Cody plays up his geeky traits and whatever flirting skills he had in canon are completely gone here, since Gwen doesn’t even realize he likes her throughout the season.

Also step aside, Beth. Cody’s the new shortest guy in the camp.

Speaking of which, Beth’s artistic talents are a more active part of her characterization, hence the stickers and paint splatters. Ezekiel’s more of a basket case. Turns out his canon counterpart hates going outside. Of course I started to run with it and I made him a typical “quiet kid”. He’s slightly more socially aware, but he’s probably still going home first (not that he’s complaining).

Lindsay’s the same, but lookit her cool jacket!

Courtney’s bossiness is gone almost entirely; she’s a pure teacher’s (read: host’s) pet. The only one she’s trying to push around is a canon compliant Duncan.

Noah’s part of Heather’s alliance as her spy, just as the rumors say. Eva’s more social, generally more boisterous, but no less temperamental. I may have ripped off TD Reunion’s look for her.

Izzy is a universal constant. She changes for nobody.

I could’ve added Sierra and Alejandro. But I didn’t, because where’s the fun in that?

BTW, these are very rough designs. TD’s art style, despite being the inspiration for my own, is deceptively hard to emulate.

Jeremy (Killer Bass) is a mischievous prankster who the rest of his team quickly deems an annoyance but keeps around for his unorthodox thinking. He almost immediately forms a kinship with Harold and Tyler as the team’s outcasts, meaning Courtney and Bridgette have to deal with two warring trios as whoever hasn’t been eliminated by this point watches in amusement.

Addison (Not Killer Bass) is a fast talking hustler who’s smuggled a ton of sweets into camp and barters them off to the other Gophers, mostly Owen, Izzy, and Cody, in exchange for assistance. She’s a member of Heather’s alliance, bringing their numbers up to five, but she’s clearly a wildcard who’ll flip on her if it’s convenient. Heather can’t trust so easily, but Addison’s ironically one of the few who doesn’t hate her.

I have a whole elimination order planned out, but I don’t have the time to write a full fanfic, so I’ll just keep it shelved for now. Maybe I’ll just make a broad outline.

[moosegbt]

Steven Universe: The Movie VHS

Here's a render of my box art draft! It's coming along pretty well, and I put some pretty neat Easter eggs in this one.

Unlike my Over the Garden Wall tape, I'm deciding to go for a partial wrap around design. The front, top, and side are all part of the same image, with the back being reserved for a scenic shot of Beach City.

I got in trouble (permanently banned, actually) for using the FBI warning logo in my art when trying to print OtGW at a print shop, so this time I'm replacing it with the age rating.

If you look closely, the number on the side is the last 4 digits of the mysterious girl's phone number from season 4 episode 6 Last One Out of Beach City.

Additionally, the bar code is the bar code for a GameCube! I thought this was fitting since Steven owns a GC and he plays it constantly. It is also just a super nostalgic console for me, and I can't be the only one who related to Steven a little extra because of his console choice.

The most difficult part of creating this physically is definitely going to be finding a pink VHS tape. I haven't been able to find the specific shade of pink that I want, but I've come pretty close with some VHS releases of Sky Dancers “The Sky’s The Limit” “On Wings Of Song.”

Unfortunately this leans more hot-pink purpleish, and looking for the exact shade is a little hard because I've got Finn the Human syndrome (just a little colour blind). Worst case scenario, I find an off-coloured (lol) tape and I treat it a little bit with bleach or something.

And now to the pan and scan part of the project:

Editing this movie is hard. Really hard. This movie has a very stylized intro credits, most of which are formatted specifically for a 16:9 screen. I'm honestly considering reverse engineering the entire opening credits and just building it from the ground up for a 4:3 aspect ratio.

As for opening ads/title cards, I'm absolutely going to put an Over the Garden Wall trailer. I might just make an MCU type deal where all my tapes reference each other. That would be funny I think.

Anyway follow for more updates or to see silly little guys I make in blender every tuesday!

[xf-cases-solved]

S2E2: The Host 😔

Case: In what is an episode I have purposefully avoided rewatching for at least a decade—because it is DISGUSTING—we find ourselves off the coast of New Jersey, bc of course this hellscape of an episode takes place in fucking New Jersey. A Russian kid on a ship gets pulled into a septic tank (ew) by A Creature, and his body is discovered in a sewer (ew) a few days later. Skinner gives this case to Mulder, and Mulder is pissed about it, for which I don't blame him for a second bc it is, quite literally, shit work. (This does, however, lead to a very funny confrontation where Mulder throws a tantrum at Skinner, only to then discover he's currently in a meeting. I did lol at that, I'll admit.) 

Anyway, Mulder reluctantly continues with the case, secretly recruiting Scully on the side to do some autopsy(!!) work and to pick her brain for science, even though the bosses said they aren't allowed to sit next to each other in class anymore. The episode just gets worse and worse and fucking worse from there, when Scully discovers a flukeworm (ew) in the dead kid's body. More evidence continues to compile, soon making it clear that what they're dealing with is something much larger and much grosser than they could have ever anticipated. 

People keep walking around and getting covered in sewer water, making me want to scrub myself so clean all the skin comes off my body; a man coughs up a worm and it is Horrible; Deep Throat is gone, but it looks like he might have a successor (!!!); Mulder and Scully have a friend in the FBI, I wonder who it could be 🤔 (hint: he's bald); and Mulder briefly considers quitting, but somehow THIS fucking episode is the one that convinces him to stay. (Like, I get it, learning he has an ally in Skinner is all well and good or whatever, I GET IT, okay? But look. If my boss was claiming to be my ally and then forced me to chase after a giant man-eating sewer worm—requiring me to BE in the literal sewer in the process btw—I would quietly set my badge and gun down on my boss's desk, walk out the building, and get on the next flight to New Zealand. Fuuuuuuck that, and fuuuuuuck this episode.)

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes, and it is the worst way any person could possibly die.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: He no longer has anyone to present slideshows to. 😔

Does the evidence survive the investigation: If it did, they should fucking burn it.

Whodunit: ☹️ worm man ☹️

Convictions: Chris Carter, for the crime of writing this and then making it exist in the world where I had to watch it with my eyeballs and process its contents with my brain.

Did they solve it: Yes, I suppose they did, in the sense that they figured out what killed that guy, and had a semi-reasonable explanation for how the horrible monster worm was able to come to be. Whether or not the horrible monster worm is still out there being horrid and monstrous? Well, that part remains an X-File.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Bleach. Pour it in your eyes and also over your whole entire body and forget any of this ever happened.

Oh, and also sponsored by this funny text I accidentally sent my sister:

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 13 (first solve of the season. unfortunate that it had to be this)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 6 (told you it starts to go up rly fast)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 13 (nothing overt, but they did have a nice conversation together, and mulder said something to the effect of being able to work with scully was the only reason he could think to stay at the fbi at this point)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 4 (and there was a worm in the body ☹️)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 16 (i was too grossed out watching this to properly appreciate it, but X has entered the chat!!!!! my favorite informant!!! i will get into more detail as to why as we make our way through the season, but eep!) 

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3 

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 3 (you know what? i'm upping this stat. why did he go to the sewer in a suit???)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 8

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 (but i can hear his slow approach...)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 9½ (of COURSE it's new jersey) 

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5 (unfortunately i paid attention to the whole thing ☹️)

[thecoolerliauditore]

big post now that the adrenaline is cooled down a bit. thoughts on each team so far.

overall: ohh I really didn't think I would be enraptured again I really didn't think I would be. Like don't get me wrong I'm not one for wanting the series to end or anything but I was very, very happy about the year long break after Secret Life because it was feeling like quite a lot of content to the point where it was overwhelming.

That break was crucial, I think, to the vibes since I don't know if it's just me but the players just feel like they have so much more energy and excitement for the new season. Etho and Mumbo especially are so quirky this session.

The new mechanic is. shrugs. Really no way to judge it yet seeing as we've pretty much barely seen what it can entail. The fact that everyone has six lives though is making me think some of them are gonna be crazy in future sessions cus that's a ridiculously generous number otherwise and I assume Grian doesn't intend for this season to be twice Third Life's length.

EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! Lizzie, Mumbo, Rendog, Gem 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I don't have much to add I'm just so happy we're finally getting a season with All of Them. Rendog Ren Ren Diggity Dawg I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

The lag on the server looks um ..... ? Aternos lookin ass. I hope it doesnt impact them too much beyond this episode and they get that fixed cus whoagh that is um bad. Joel being soooo fucking angry about it is so funny please never change Joel.

~

Renwood Mound: First of all horrid name but I would be disappointed by anything less sexually suggestive. Second of all please check up on your Treebark mutuals this is a difficult time. Refeeding syndrome might just kill a couple of you I'm so sorry.

I'm not a big Ren/Martyn understander but my dash has been more celebrating their reunion than crying tears of anguish like the other toxic rebounds (ethubs, tango, pearl) that have popped up so I can only assume it's going to be okay we're all gonna make it.

If they do stay as a duo this season is going to be crazy for Martyn specifically I think. He's already gotten the betrayal he wants, he's already achieved the villainous role he so wants to play, and now it's just him and Ren together with no Dogwarts to lead. I genuinely have no idea where this one will go. o7

~

BAM Boys: I really hope the "boys" part stays in the name despite Lizzie joining them at the end for my very specific Lizzie headcanons. It would tickle me.

Anyway we're finally freed from the grasps of blue man and get the Scar/Jimmy team up this time with added Lizzie flavour. I'm very excited and like. I've seen a lot of people doubting this team will go far which confuses me because I don't know if you guys are aware but Scar won last season. And Lizzie, despite her early death in SL, really is no pushover either (she had one of the highest body counts in LL and I wish more people talked about that).

Scar specifically is in a great spot with pretty much full diamond armour already. He gets all giddy while mining and says to himself something like "ooh I get to share some with Jimmy!" which is so sweet to me.

Scar remaking the reputation board from Third Life is actually insane. What is he doing.

All this to say I think this team looks wholesome and I'm optimistic for their future. This could be Jimmy's Mounders. Or it could be Fairy Fort 2 idk let's see.

~

I think Bigb's possessed again.

~

The Hobbits(???): Hilarious to me that they stole Flower Husbands' original branding. Anyway Grumbo is back idk if I know them well enough to make a statement but I'm mentally chucking them into the toxic rebound box in my head just to get the number up.

This is the POV I've seen the least of but they seem fun. I wonder if being out of the horrific environment that was the Southlanders will do any good for Grumbo's relationship. Skizz being there also tends to bring the mood up 400% (unless it's Dogwarts).

~

Joel & Gem: IM SO EXCITED. This is pretty much the Bdubs/Joel team-up I wanted originally but now we get Ethubs too which is even more awesome for me. Very cringe take from me but they are both shounen anime.

Despite what Scott says I really don't think they'll "spontaneously combust". They're both high energy and aggressive but historically loyal to the people who accept them, the sample rate for Gem is not exactly scientifically viable but. Vaguely gestures to all of Secret Life.

I kind of wanna see Gem kill Pearl.

~

Whatever the fuck the Ethubs + Tango team is called: Why.

No like seriously Tango I thought you hated these bitches why are you third wheeling them. He's also surprisingly Bdubspilled like he sides with him on the horse thing and tries to warn Bdubs about Etho lying later. Like, don't get me wrong I really don't think Tango has spite for Bdubs comparable to like. Pearl for Scott for example but he certainly isn't fond of him after he um Fucking Murdered Him and was completely unapologetic.

I'm not really a Tango guy so I can't speak on what's going on inside his head regarding that it's just. Interesting to observe. At least the brief ranchers interaction was cute (and really funny to see in the background of ethubs yelling at eachother).

Anyway Ethubs are insane. It's so funny to me that their horse argument literally lasted an entire in game day.

It's fun for me specifically because I always viewed Secret Life as somewhat of a soft end/reboot point for the series for multiple reasons - the year long hiatus, scars win bookending things really well, pearl and scotts arcs wrapping up (oh how naive) and, of course, the conclusion ethubs reached.

I think I've made a post before about how beautiful of an ending SL is for Ethubs. The distance allowing them to overcome their own personal issues with Bdubs learning he's capable and to care for people who aren't himself or Etho and Etho learning relationships don't have to be minefields, leading into HC10 where Bdubs moves into the rural countryside away from everything and Etho hanging out with his new coworkers at the post office. They can still talk and visit, of course, but the time away from eachother does them wonders and adds a bit of hope for how they will be in the future.

So how should I even fucking feel about Etho pulling a Limited Life and almost killing Bdubs for a prank. Or Etho asking Bdubs what he's done for him. Or Etho in general being a little shit about the horse thing and Bdubs being equally stubborn.

Bdubs even kinda?? Talks like they're a couple who've gone to therapy with the "I should express how I feel and how I feel is.." and the way he catches himself when he's halfway through yelling. Like I'm not insane you guys hear it too right.

Like don't get me wrong I'm very stuck in my ways of insisting Ethubs isn't really toxic, at least not anymore, but I can totally see someone else being horrified by them and I would cheer them on for it. This episode is especially going to be horrible for that person. At least for me it seems like Bdubs' character development is very real i.e. him rejecting Etho's chestplate with the classic "I can take care of myself", a stark contrast to LL/DL Bdubs and he bites back when Etho is weird.

I have hope for Ethubs is what I'm trying to say and it's totallyyyy not because they're my first ship and I'm biased. I need to figure out what's wrong with Etho and why he's doing this. I saw a post that theorized Etho wanted Bdubs to get mad at him and kill him this season which I'm rotating a bit but I'll have to keep watching. Ethubs girls we're in for it we really are. Tango girls I'm um sorry.

~

PICS / the Islanders: My 13th reason why.

Trying to not repeat too much here from whatever happened to me emotionally last night but this is what hell looks like. It's what I expected but like. DAMN. I wasn't expecting it to be. That bad.

Seeing a lot of people say that the team is just. Pearl, The Horrors and Impulse who is just 🧍‍♂️and I don't think that's completely wrong or anything however ☝️I must say that Impulse continues to frighten me and him being here is making me personally shake like a chihuahua. Like I can't really explain his character if you put a gun to my head I just think the guy might have some issues communicating emotions and prefers to hold grudges/be passive aggressive like with the psychological horror that was the impdubs DL POV and I can't imagine him being particularly Good for Pearl. Also he's done several insane things in the past e.g. the Bdubs grudge, laughing at Tango when he tries to kill himself in SL, being excited(??) for gem to kill him in SL, trying to kill Skizz in SL wow wait maybe it's just proximity to gem and scott that fucks this guy up. Idk though I don't trust his ass.

Anyway. Yes like we are all Martyn Inthelittlewooding it up for Pearl in here. I have so many somewhat misogynistic fantasies in my head about her being saved by Gem or Bdubs or Joel or Bigb for that matter. Emotionally that's what I would want. HOWEVER I don't think that would actually be anything that would help Pearl in fact I think she'd just run back to her team because she's loyal like that. So now I kind of just want to see the consequences of her actions. Whittle her down to nothing 💥💥💥💥💥It would break me it genuinely would.

Cleo fucking catching herself and correcting "trauma" to "damage" mid sentence is insane can we kill. can we kill them.

So yeah um I'm excited for this season

[somedayillbepeterpan]

FOR BONUS POLINWEEK

DAY ONE | Favourite Season 3 scene: The Butterfly ball

I have bitten more than I can chew but I am determined to get all the parts out of this analysis if only to free up my head. Now, I just hope I could get out all the stuff I want to put out for each day of Polinweek too 🤣

PART 4: THE FEATURED SONG AND DANCE - Lights by Ellie Goulding

This song is hinged on this line that Pen says on S3E8 (“But I was careless with that power. It was easy to cast aspersions in the dark.”)

And the line while Pen was talking to Genevieve in S3E7 (“I'm relieved... in a way. It has been painful carrying that secret.”) Added also the obvious parallel of the titles of Episode one: Out of the Shadows and Episode 8: Into the light. 

I also looked into what Ellie Goulding said about this song and she said it’s about her fear of the dark, a childhood trauma, where she couldn't sleep without the light on. And while that explanation about this very catchy pop song seem to be very common, when I look at how it parallels to Pen's life and how she has been in the shadows most of her young life-- overlooked, ridiculed in her own family for prioritising her mind over her "prospects", unintentionally treated more like a soundboard than a person than her best friend, and forced to bury her affection turn love to her other best friend.

LW was a light in Pen's mind. Scientifically, the brain is fully active when you write on complex subjects and LW is definitely a complex one. When Pen used LW as more than just a scandal sheet but also a critique on how their society works effectively challenging the Queen, it became a true exercise of power when Pen affected and effected public opinion (there's a line on S1 where Anthony said something along the lines of how every one is swallowing everything that LW was publishing).

[I want to highlight this dance too because it looks like bugs flying around. Jack Murphy is an absolute genius.]

It is this power that Pen gets drunk on and made her feel that it is the only thing she can use to be properly heard thereby making the controversial decisions about Colin and Eloise's situations.

The funny thing about her abuse of power is that she used it for (and unintentionally against) the two people who actually WOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HER. I know that we saw her "try" to reason to both of them but she never said the truth. Which is the opposite of what she says in LW ("But gossip I might, I always tell the truth.")

This clouding of her judgment tainted the light that writing LW brought. And unless she came into the light, that clouding would have eaten her alive and I for one am glad that she finally owned up to her mess.

PART 5: BLOCKING AND WHERE COLIN WAS WHILE PEN WAS REVEALING HERSELF AS LW.

PART 1: THE VENUE AND A FULL CIRCLE MOMENT PART 2: THE COLOURS, THE FEATHERS, AND THE NUMBER 8 PART 3: THE FLUORESCENT FEATHERINGTON DRESSES

[burnwater13]

Luke Skywalker sitting on Ossus meditating as Grogu looks on. Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 6, From the Desert Comes a Stranger. Calendar by DateWorks.

Caption reads: He was small like you, but his heart was huge, and the Force was strong in him. He once said to me, 'Size matters not.' - Luke Skywalker.

Grogu was pretty sure that Luke meant well. He said a lot of things that sounded good, but also, sounded a lot like nothing. Just from that, Grogu had worked out that Luke had met Master Yoda. It was funny and a little sad at the same time. There he was, a human who wasn’t even thirty years old, telling Grogu stuff he already knew like it was special. Didn’t Ahsoka tell him anything? Apparently not.

At least Ossus was pretty. It had a lot of trees and water and an abundance of frogs and other things Grogu liked to eat fresh. They got a lot of exercise and being there gave Grogu plenty of time to study Anakin Skywalker’s son. 

Other than having a similar taste in dark fabric and plain clothes, Luke really didn’t seem to have much in common with that boisterous and troublesome son of Tatooine. Anakin got bored easily. He often raced ahead of everyone else when they were on field trips. He asked so many questions that some masters just asked him to record them on a data stick so they could respond to them when they had more time. Anakin was impatient and passionate and just relentlessly alive.

Luke on the other hand was quiet, when he wasn’t lecturing Grogu ad nauseam about something every youngling knew. He liked to meditate and insisted that Grogu use that time to meditate as well. Grogu could count on one hand the times Anakin had voluntarily meditated.

Outside of lectures, Luke didn’t have much to say to Grogu, although Luke talked to R2-D2 incessantly according to R2, who told Grogu everything. Grogu could remember the tiny number of exchanges he’d had with Anakin, right after the human boy had been brought to the Jedi Temple by Master Obi-Wan, then just Knight Kenobi. 

They all went something like: ‘Wow, I’ve never seen ears so big on a critter. What planet do critters like that come from? You can hear everything with ears like that, can’t you?” Then someone, usually Obi-Wan, would tell Anakin to be more respectful, but as far as Grogu could tell curious and respectful were synonyms for Anakin Skywalker. He wanted to know everything, but still got bored easily and just moved on when his questions went unanswered.

Luke had far too much patience. At least for himself. He was dedicated to showing Grogu how to do things the way he had learned them and would do the same thing over and over to see when it made a difference. That Grogu was not a human, was not Luke, and had learned to do the things he’d cared to learn to do was completely immaterial. Thus the Yoda lecture series. “Size matters not..” “Do or do not…” “We are luminous beings…” and other things Luke had heard the older Jedi Master say. 

What Luke hadn’t heard Master Yoda say were things like: ‘We each learn what we must, to do what we can.’ ‘Repetition does not a mistake erase.’ ‘Find my lightsaber you will. Know not where I left it.’ Or Grogu’s personal favorite, ‘Youngling Ian, games you will stop playing, or consequences there will be.’ Those were the lessons of a different time, but Grogu had not forgotten them.

Which made Grogu wonder what his friend Ian would think of the situation that Grogu had found himself in. Grogu had left the Mandalorian, to go to Luke’s Jedi Sleep Away Camp, not because he needed to learn more about the Force or how to control it. He knew all that. He left because he didn’t want harm to come to Din Djarin. 

Din Djarin might be a Mandalorian bounty hunter, but that didn’t mean he was invulnerable. That armor had flaws. The Mandalorian took huge risks on Grogu’s behalf. Inevitably something bad would come of that and in Din Djarin would be brought in cold. Grogu couldn’t face that or be responsible for it. 

Ian would probably laugh at him and tell him that he didn’t have to stay anywhere he didn’t want to be and if that Mandalorian was so useless at protecting himself from harm, how could Grogu leave him on his own to begin with? Uff. He’d be right about that. Was Grogu worried about Din Djarin being hurt, or was he worried about messing up in someway that caused the Mandalorian to be hurt? He wasn’t sure. 

“Listen, Kid. This galaxy is pretty big. There are about a billion habitable worlds that you could go to and just live there and no one would ever find you. You don’t have to stick around here and listen to Anakin’s son lecture you on how you live your life. As I recall, his dad never put up with that guff either.”

Grogu quickly turned around to see if Ian’s Force ghost was talking to him, but no. Ian hadn’t died that day on Coruscant and as far as Grogu could tell, he was still alive, giving other people good advice like that. Instead he came eye to robes with Master Kenobi’s Force ghost.

“Hello there. If it helps at all, just know that Luke proved very frustrating to me and Master Yoda as we tried to help him on his path. He has always been full of doubt, so he proceeds with more caution than many of us. I cannot say that we were correct to do as we did. Your choices are the ones that matter now. Master Yoda always said there was another. You may take that for what it is worth.”

Then Master Kenobi faded away and Grogu was left with this own thoughts. 

“Womp Rats!”

Luke Skywalker as he walks along a path in a bamboo forest talking to Grogu (out of frame). Caption reads: 'Size matters not.' Image is from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 6, From the Desert Comes a Stranger.

[anthurak]

So as something of a followup/offshoot of my theory on the Goetia Trial and the end of Season 2 (and Stolitz), here is a little idea that I imagine a number of people are really not going to like, but which personally I think could be REALLY fun.

See, regardless of what the trial involves, I think it’s safe to assume that Andrealphus attacking Stolas and Blitzo here specifically comes afterwards, and is a direct result of his plans failing. Because even in just this one shot, I feel like Andrealphus is SUPER giving vibes of ‘villain who has just had their devious and complicated schemes foiled and also possibly been humiliated by the heroes and is now out for petty revenge/murder’.

Adding on to this, and this post I did on this shot, I imagine Andrealphus is going to be killed by whoever comes in to rescue Stolas and Blitzo, be it Octavia, Loona, Vassago, the rest of I.M.P. or all of the above. Personally I like the idea of Stolas and Blitzo being saved by Vassago, who proceeds to square up to fight Andrealphus who in turn is launching into a big, unhinged villainous rant… only for Andre to get headshotted by Moxxie with the Blessed Carbine he swiped from Striker back in Season 1.

Now here’s the thing: In my big theory post, I briefly commented on the possibility of Stella also being along to kill Stolas herself, despite not being seen in the clip.

So what if it really is JUST Andrealphus showing up to kill Stolas and Stella just stays home?

It certainly wouldn’t be out of character for her. Despite her vehement hatred for Stolas and desire to see him dead, Stella has NEVER showed the inclination to actually do the deed herself, seemingly out of laziness more than anything else. So if Andrealphus decided to go kill Stolas himself after their plans for foiled, I’d say it would be perfectly in-character for Stella to essentially go ‘Oh good, I don’t even need to hire that smelly cowboy again. Could you bring me his head back, brother?’

Actually, speaking of the overrated edgelord, imagine if Striker was used as a ‘bait and switch boss’? Like it turns out Stella does hire him again and he shows up in dramatic fashion to attack Stolas and Blitzo… only to be metaphorically or literally squashed like a bug by Andrealphus who came to do the deed himself. I just think that would be REALLY funny. Particularly the fan reaction XD

But back to Stella, I think it’s entirely in-character for her to sit out any attempt to kill Stolas directly, or anything that requires her to actually DO anything. With probably the last we see of Stella being a scene of her and Andrealphus arguing about the failure of the latter’s plan, which ends with Andrealphus going off to kill Stolas himself.

At least until the end credits of the episode and/or season, wherein we get a scene of Stella lounging in her brother’s palace, and is informed of the ‘tragic’ death of her brother. As well as being informed that, due to laws of Goetia inheritance, all of his wealth, status and power will passed to his closest living blood relative.

As in; his SISTER.

Cue Stella giving a small, satisfied ‘just as planned’ smirk.

For all that people hate her, I personally think Stella would make a great and FUN recurring villain for the show XD

[popculturebuffet]

How would you rank the Sam and Max episodes?

This is something I genuinely WAS going to do... but my massive workload and how tired I was at the time won out, a sign I was getting the cold i'm still fighting to finish my christmas reviews on time.

Anyways

Beyond the Alley of the Dolls: Is the clear #1. Recency bias is probably in play a TINY bit.. but it has all the jokes you'd expect, the most enjoyable puzzles in the series with me only having to use my guide occasionally, and genuine great tension and that climax is fantastic. While the season still ended on a high note, it's defintely the biggest and best ending of the trilogy. 2. The Mob the Mole and the Meatball: Season 1's best and honestly the best setting in the series.. and the latter games are none too shabby. It's just such a simple yet messed up concept: a chuck e cheese as a mafia front. Give those mafiso teddy bear heads and you have an outright classic. 3. The Tomb of Sammun Mak: The format bender really helped this one: the reel switching is the series best gimmick to shake things up and is a lot of fun. It's also their best asset flip, is packed with some iconic jokes and is charming as hell. 4. Situation: Comedy: While I loved these games from Culture Shock, Situation Comedy is where everything clicked: better puzzles, a great new environment to explore, great additions in mr featherly and two all time great bits: cooking without Looking and Subrban Cowboys (Their probably hiding a cow) It's only not higher up because it has that wonky as hell cow puzzle. I don't mind a long puzzle but I do mind when the puzzle is just "ask until you get the right question but we won't give you clues as to what the right answer are". It's fine if you can give wrong ansers and get great jokes, not so much in a loop but ot their credit the developers learned that lesson. Mostly.

4. The City that Dares Not Sleep: The touching, hilarous, and heartwrenching coda to the whole saga. The puzzles are a bit lighter, not hitting quite that good ballance of "Tricky but managable" and just being managable mostly. But it's still a standout conclusion to the best game in the trilogy.

5. Abe Lincoln Must Die!: This one like Situation Comedy would rank higher were the puzzles less frustrating or the hike back and forth from the street to the whtie house not tedious. That said while both of those can be grating... Abe Lincoln Must Die is just that funny. You have Max running for president against a giant stone abe lincoln, Superball's debut and of course the war song. I'm really disapointed the later games dropped musical numbers, as War and World of Max are bangers. I still listen to the war song regularly and probably will again just bringing it up here. 6. The Penal Zone: A brilliant start to their best season, a llittle lower due to that pigeon. Yes i'll never not resent the pidgeon pizza puzzle, as what the hell was that. But the chapter overall is fun, hilaroius and lets you get into the new groove of things nicely. Plus Max snorting at the penal zone's name will never not be funny.

6. Bright Side of the Moon: The most gorgeous chapter of the original game , with a grand set piece to close it out, a great villian reveal and of course... world of max. once again the song helps really boost this but it was a truly perfect ending to such a batshit season. 7. Night of the Raving Dead: IS a lot of fun. It has the worst puzzle in the trilogy, the dj puzzle, but damn if Jurgen isn't entertaning. Making a vampire lord an overly dorky scene kid was genius, and adding in that poor monster and of all people superball, and pulpy good flint paper and you have a stew goin.

8. They Stole Max's Brain: This one, like many is only so low thanks to one thing dragging it down: in this case the entire sammun mak act. I dreaded it going in and while it was better than I braced myself for it was still not great. You take my lack of love for stock ancient egyptian themeing (You can use it well but you have to work at it as it has cool astetics but is often used clusmily and sameily) and "The world is changed but only one person remember it plots" and i'm gonna have ab ad time. But the first two acts are so fun it compensates. 9. Culture Shock: Culture Shock is decent and is just above the bottom because while funny, a great start to the series and solid... the later chapters of both it's own game and the series as a whole really step it up. It dosne't help the main guests are the soda poppers who i've made my opinons of clear. Only specs dosen't make me want to kick his ass, to build a machine to kick his ass, to build an empire to house the machine to kick his ass!

10. What's New Beelzebub: Is solid. It's this low due to it's puzzles and the soda poppers reveal being VERY mid. I knew going in.. but that's the case with ALL the main villians and Hugh Blizz and The Narrator's reveals are way more effective: Bliss comes off as off from the start and the narrator is well set up whlie still being effective with an aamazing reveal. The Soda Poppers are just little weenies and them being revealed as the lords of the dammned isn't funny it's just.. what. You had Jurgen RIGHT THERE. The Soda Poppers really do ruin everything

11. Ice Station Santa: Starts well and has some great gags, torture me elmer is the best as is buster blaster

12. Chariots of the Dogs: Is fun, I just felt other chapters were better. But the payoff for the birthday and boscow do help this one up. The sexist humor not so much. Still has neat time travle 13. Reality 2.0: This one is only not bottom because it debuts the COPS. It gave us the COPS who rightly go on to play a bigger role in the next two games as the developers clearly loved them and so do I. It also has a fantastic finale, that graet mario joke and more I forgot, saving it from the bottom. But my god this one smells of "we ran out of time and needded a cheap chapter to make 6." I wouldn't be suprised if bduget is why the sequels are both 5 chapters instead as this one just.. asset flips to hell and isn't super fun about it. It TRIES but the digtial setting just feels lifeless. I think this one hasn't been helped by the sequels all having bigger more expansive sets, while this just feels half assed.

14. Moai Better Blues: has some frustrating puzzles like the cloud one, abe lincoln at his worst and that fucking surfboard minin game. Add in some mild racism and this one is just meh. The weakest chapter of them all. Some good jokes but that's standard for sam and max. What's not standard is that goodamn surfboard. There's a few good jokes but this feels like a mishmash of ideas rather than a more coherent chapter. Chariot Reused a lot but at least it was funny

[mylittleredgirl]

finally, m*a*s*h update!

season four disc two! ("quo vadis, captain chandler" to "dear ma")

there is a LOT going on in the frank and margaret department

i kind of tipped my hand here when i posted about my new obsession, but even if you are not circling the drain on this doomed ship... the Unresolved Breakup Tension is fuckin WILD in this disc

she literally punches him in the face!!! how was that not a breakup!

but then he buys her something or does something to charm or impress her, and it works! then he blows it again!! rinse and repeat!!!! i am 👀🍿

sam and diane from cheers are still theeee platonic ideal of slap-slap-kiss but these clowns definitely walked so they could run

i literally jumped off the couch when his wife found out, aaaaa it's so juicy

I'M SORRY i realize this doesn't speak well of me as a person, but those long close-ups on her face as she voluntarily eavesdrops on him dismissing their relationship (twice!!) and her heart gets fully crushed??? i could eat popcorn to this all day.

this is the kind of dysfunctional relationship that my artist friends would choose in our youth so that we could Suffer and Make Art, so i really hope margaret is writing terrible poetry about it

anyway, we're peroxide-roots deep into GIRL WHY??!??

and then bj very gently explains to radar that well, see, frank and margaret both kinda suck and we're in the middle of nowhere, so they're all they've got

and i had to spend three or four days staring at the ceiling about it, because YEAH. it's not just that they're each other's only rank-appropriate source of star-spangled orgasms

(and they both care far more about military hierarchy than they do about marital fidelity)

but they are so consistently unkind to everyone around them that they have no other choice for any human connection full stop.

i'm not even talking about their ongoing bullying war with hawkeye and trapper or bj, because that's dirty pool on both sides, but i could count on one hand the number of times either of them have interacted with a subordinate nurse or enlisted man without threatening them. like they literally would not have anyone else to talk to.

but the reveal that she still wants to MARRY HIM? oh god. ohhhh honey. noooo.

that fake proposal prank was so genuinely mean. mostly because they ruined her hot date! 👏 let 👏 margaret 👏 fuck 👏 random 👏 dudes 👏

"isn't general barker the one who wanted you to spank him?" lmaoooo

OKAY i swear i can talk about other things:

hawkeye continues to just NOT pull without trapper here. the nurses are fully dismissing or ignoring his efforts, and honestly is he even trying that hard?? have we seen him get even one date?

i've been trying to come up with an "intricate rituals" joke about hawkeye and trapper but where the rituals are... girls. you get me.

i re-watched the pilot and the desk ep (for frank/margaret reasons DON'T JUDGE ME), and hawkeye and trapper LITERALLY end the pilot handcuffed together, and in the next episode talk about sharing a nurse. how am i supposed to take this???

speaking of nurses, you know that little 🙄 you have to ignore in 2024 whenever the women on m*a*s*h get called honey and sweetheart and baby on the job (though tbh i worked on a construction site and an ad sales office in the 2010's and got the same treatment -- but in the modern day it's done ironically babe)

BUT when potter calls margaret "good girl" after he gets shot??? total opposite feeling. i literally had to pause and take a moment. he's her dad now.

also when he tucks radar in???? everyone's dad actually

in loving memory of radar's other dad though, two important points:

how proud would henry have been of drunk & disorderly radar??

and henry's "i've always wondered if i might be radar's dad" bit is genuinely 900% funnier now that we know radar's mom looks EXACTLY like him.

i don't think i have ever circled back to talk about klinger, who became so so so awesome

it's so funny that in klinger's very first appearance and 30 times since then, he has been told straight up that wearing women's clothes will never work to get him out of the army. there's no explanation for his commitment to this particular form of passive resistance except that he genuinely loves it

the swamp rats built a still and klinger got a sewing machine and learned a craft. he's so good at it!! his looks are 🔥

i feel uncomfortable when i see him in fatigues tbh. it happened a few times in this disc and i would like it to Stop actually

also precious baby father mulcahey... Protect Him.

i LOVE that everyone showed up for his church service when the grand poobah chaplain was in town. they love each other!!! (also the life magazine jeep shoot!!!)

"quo vadis, captain chandler" was really good. i'm still over colonel flagg's whole deal but i now understand why everyone loves sidney freedman, and the guest actor they had playing not-jesus was incredible

bj continues to be the best little brother hawkeye could have asked for

also he maybe invented cpr?

i didn't say much about him here but I LOVE HIM and also his off-screen wife

forward and onward!!!

[deuterium51614]

Alternative Season One Watch Order

(AKA The Drama Watch Order™️or The Enkin Watch Order ™️)

1, 2, 6, 5, 7, 9, 8, 3, 4, 10, 11, 12

Episodes one and two stay the same.

Then, go into episode six. Why? En's smirk, Io's line about Ryuu being ticklish could be read as him finding out about it for episode four (why he decides to tickle him instead of joining in on En), the quick clip of the Press Society watching everything before we know who they are adds drama, and also the Battle Lovers meet Caerula Adamas earlier.

Episode five to explain who the Press Society is. Also, this is when Kinshirou stamps the form to make the Defense Club official, though it will be later in episode three that Wombat says he submitted it. (I think it's funny if they're official for more episodes without realizing it.)

Episode seven for fan service, with the added mystery of Kinshirou's relationship to Atsushi and En not being revealed from the childhood flashback.

Episode nine and then eight, to give more space for Komi Shou to have been out of school since the start of the term. Also a really intense battle, and Kinshirou getting giddy about En and Atsushi having a falling out is great when you don't know at this point that he and Atsushi were friends.

Episode three I'm putting here because of the preview for episode four revealing the flashback of Kinshirou and Atsushi. HOWEVER if watching without previews, it could go earlier, even in its original position. (In fact, it probably makes sense to put it earlier, because of the whole explanation of Pretty Boy Day and the posters appearing in episode two--though the posters don't have the number of the contest.) Though I do like having it here because after the battle, Caerula Adamas is wondering who the Battle Lovers are, and I think it adds a level of frustration.

THEN four. I don't wan't this to be as non-linear as the Haruhi broadcast order... (The door from the club room to the council room hasn't been revealed.) Like I want it to still be possible for this alternate watch order to be thought of as chronological, even though it's not, you know?

Finally, episodes ten, eleven, and twelve. Episode ten has to be here, not any earlier, because the door gets revealed and it would contradict earlier episodes where it's hidden. It's also cool to have episode ten follow episode four, because in episode four they're calling Yumoto a kid, and he changes character here as though it's a reaction to that.

[steve0discusses]

Episode 47 S5: Mana Runs too Slow and it Kills 2 People

Tumblr decided to change the way it does image posts so this is going to be my hell. I can only have max 30 "blocks" of images (yikes) and uploading all your images at once and then just adding text in between is actually not possible! (least it's a nightmare on browser. I have not figured out how to drag my text in between images, so I'm just uploading every image one by one and hoping I don't forget one)

thanks, I hate it!

Peeking up at us over the horizon, our end of the world apocalypse has reached the next step of his rampage: which is to shoot glowing missiles out of it's Dragon crotch until Egypt is destroyed.

Seto is doing his best to look productive, but unfortunately this is Sad Seto, who is still buffering.

Just uh...give him a minute. He has to remember how to be Seto.

(read more under the cut)

I'm pretty sure Kissara told him straight up to call her whenever, and considering how few words they've ever said to each other, you'd think he'd remember the words she said like half an hour ago. Then again, he was kind of...sleeping when that happened. Or hallucinating, or dreaming, or all three.

Bakura and Yami are watching this pan out from the Shadow Game Zone, Bakura kind of nodding slowly while Yami becomes overwhelmed with embarrassment over how much everyone around him is screwing it. This is not meant to be funny, but it was very funny to me.

I have brought this up before, but Bakura does bring up a good point, that this entire arc was kind of against the grain of who Yami became over the course of the last 4 seasons.

+++++STAND BACK I'M GONNA RANT, FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++

Don't get me wrong, Yami LOVES to make bad choices that end the world. But why would he continue to go back here and destroy the world of the future he knows and loves so much? Especially since it already went SO south with Dartz the last time he opened pandora's box?

He has a new identity now, he has so many friends, last arc was just so many women throwing themselves at Yugi. His life is really good! I think they could have developed more of a line of logic between last arc and this arc, but like with a lot of things in this arc, it was rushed.

So him giving up his newfound modern identity that he made all himself through hard work and friendship first off feels kinda bad. Like I'm OK with him being a new guy, he worked hard for that! Lets not go backward now.

And then him coming here to regain his old identity is sort of like the show knew what it must do, but the characters were like "nah." and then went and did it anyway seemingly at gunpoint.

And I kind of wish there was any contrast between who Yami's new identity is in the future and who Yami was in the past. It would be fascinating to dive into the fact he's now two people yet again, even though Yugi is no longer in that bean. but eh save it for the fanfiction, because they needed to end Yugioh in a certain number of episodes.

And that happens sometimes. Stories are character driven, and when you try and drive the characters, they become less like people and more like iconic symbols. Here's our hero. He must do this because he's the hero. That's it, that's the reason. Welcome to Shonen Jump.

+++++++END RANT AKA THIS ARC HAS COOL IDEAS AND I WISH IT HAD ENOUGH TIME TO DO THEM BETTER++++++++

Problem is, Yami isn't that meta. He's dumb though, so in a way it does make a little sense why he had to open the box. He dummy thin.

Dummy thin and still can't read.

And like in case you've jumped in here after my accidental hiatus (hello!) and not realized this, I had to binge watch the rest of the season before we cancelled our Hulu subscription. There was the option of watching it for free on the Yugioh website, but I didn't want to change my Photoshop actions.

So get ready for me to talk about how the ending of this show bothered me, for like 8 episodes. I'll try to keep it in, so we can get there when we get there.

But you can't say lines like "We were meant to be together." in the context of this arc, you can't DO that, show.

Apparently the creator of Yugioh got hospitalized while he wrote this arc, hence the dick king demon. But also it got....messy. We have like 3 seasons of development in like 8 episodes, buckle up. They did the best that they could do with the resource's given, and we'll even get to meet my favorite character a few times before it's over (the Storyboarding God that occasionally guest stars on Yugioh, love that guy)

Back on the playing field, Yami is running out of options, when Isis informs us we can just go to McDonald's and get more McGuffins.

Out of basically no where, Mana zips onto the screen because she's ready to have at least one girl's night before the end of the world. The contrasting energy from both Mana and Isis is peak goth babysitter vs the parrot that hides behind the couch and bites your feet.

Back near Pharaoh's tomb, Yugi is still dueling over a deathpit with the child who these kids think is Ryou bakura.

This is not however, Ryou Bakura. It's sideways adjacent evil Bakura.

And it didn't really matter that this plot point ever happened because it's not like Yugi, Joey, or Tea ever catch on that this isn't Ryou anyway. But at least I, the audience can feel a little bit better about the weird twist by the dub there.

Ryou is still passed out on some stone steps. He's fine.

You might be wondering "Oh so what asinine thing is Isis going to have to do to get the items back?" and uh, you're wrong actually.

Turns out we could have just picked up the items in the desert at any time but I guess we forgot. I'll blame it on Shadi.

Joey Wheeler, who can punch out probably anything but a ghost, chooses to hide behind Tea because he knows she can punch a ghost and I believe it, too.

Back on the surface, is a scene that would have been emotional if it hadn't been 3 minutes. it was NOT enough time to give a proper send off to our girl Isis here, and they tried, but if you imagine the Yakety Sax song playing under this death here, that's about the speed at which this girl biffed it.

speaking of Yakety Sax theme, this is what was happening while Mana was crying her eyes out.,

And you may ask, was it really that goofy? and yes, yes it was.

and like I get it, animation and pacing are really, really hard. Parts of me wonder if maybe on paper this seemed OK. If maybe even as a storyboard this seemed OK. But something you learn quickly when doing any sort of narrative art, is that you need like 2x as much space as you think you do. Pause is an underrated godlike skill that takes a lifetime to master.

However, it still had good stills going on, it still had some lovely direction just...I mean they dropped Isis from top to bottom of that frame so freakin fast it was like she was a dropped banana hahaha.

They still have to carry these items physically to the Pharaoh, and so becuase Mana is a slow runner, 2 people freakin died this episode distracting Zorc. Which is also the title of this episode because I want to send home howfreakin funny that is to me.

Ah, back to Episode 1.

So how breathtaking and epic is the Kaiju fight you ask? Well good thing for you, I capped it.

The look on Seto and Yami's faces about sum it up.

And as quickly as he showed up to do a few silly punches, the great Exodia was cut exactly in half. Don't ask me how the card logic works for that, I have forgotten how this game works already.

Mana finally makes it to Yami, cursed puzzle in hand, and that ends this episode.

Can you imagine adding 7 characters to a story knowing you have to kill all of them individually before the anime arc is over? Breakneck deaths going on here.

Sorry for all you people that were so deeply attached to Shimon, the guy who isn't even Grandpa, by the way. A moment of silence for all 4 of you.

And we get back this thing. This horrible thing made out of thousands of dead people's souls. The thing that trapped him for 5000 years and launched him into the future. The only thing that can save mankind.

(If I have used this Mokuba joke like this before forgive me it was like a different lifetime before I caught covid, and I will not be able to regain those memories because I cannot curse myself with a rude ass puzzle.)

The abusive relationship with the Millennium Puzzle is a whole anime college essay I would write if I had half a brain, but alas I have the immune system and fatigue of a sickly gerbil or a goldfish that feels a little bit chilly. So I will not be writing that in depth episode but like...

Think about how far we've come with this jackass puzzle. And yet, I'm supposed to forgive it? Nah I don't think I have yet. Go to hell, puzzle.

This puzzle can go straight to hell.

Anyway, if you just got here you can read these recaps in chrono order at the link here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

PS I had to do so much assholery to get that to go to my chrono link and not my main link. They would just. Change my link. They would just change my link every time I pasted it. Tumblr you have GOT to give me my old post editor back omg.

[girl4music]

Just finished watching episode 1 of Season 2, Act 1 of ‘Arcane: League Of Legends’ and we are off to one hell of a start. Jinx made her choice and in sending that Hextech bomb straight into Piltover’s parliament she’s effectively killed three councillors - one of which being Caitlyn’s mother - which has put a significant strain on CaitVi’s romantic relationship even though Vi does agree Jinx needs to answer for her war crimes and may even believe she needs to be put down. But when it comes to that critical moment will she even have the strength to do it or be able to let Caitlyn do it? In Caitlyn pulling that badge out on Vi and asking her to stand by her side along with all the rest of the enforcers, she’s really asking her to forgive and forget about her past - but forgiveness needs to be earned from her side too. So even if Vi has donned the uniform after a terror attack at the fallen councillors’ memorial in their honour (led by Ambessa to fuel the fire in forcing them to use Hextech to fight back - what the hell does she even get out of this?) it means having to put aside her own feelings on the mistreatment of the Undercity of which she was - and still is in all respects - apart of. That’s not going to be easy but she’s concerning herself with what she has to do for the time being. Which is protect her loved ones. Nothing’s changed there. That’s who she is. It’s just the shoes on the other foot for who those loved ones are now because of all the violence and betrayal.

Topside or Undercity - it doesn’t really matter. Their worlds have collided because of Vi’s love for Caitlyn. She’s in it now. She can’t back down or she loses her too and after all the loss she’s already suffered, adding Caitlyn to the list of loss would absolutely destroy her.

Exceptional storytelling telling yet again from Riot Games. High stakes and jeopardy, authentic drama, and a real reason for contention between the couple. And we haven’t even seen Jinx yet to know where her mind is at on all of this because she can’t be doing so well. To think Riot Games has achieved such emotional and complex storytelling that they’ve actually made me sympathetic of a cold-blooded murderer. That I am able to care about how she’s feeling right now is remarkable. But that’s what writing moral ambiguity into the story and building on grey characterization achieves when it’s done really well. Getting the audience to care about and understand ALL the characters even when they do not agree with them or condone their actions because in real life, there is no true heroes VS villains. Great stuff!

This is only episode 1 of a new season but once again Riot Games and their partner studio Fortiche have proven that they know what they’re doing and hopefully can continue that streak on until the very end because they’re really putting every other TV show showmaking production team as of right now to shame with ‘Arcane’ and Netflix won’t only be criminal for letting them go but would also be downright fucking stupid if they do. However, I am aware that it was only ever meant to be two seasons and nothing more than that. But surely Netflix will be able to see the potential for a Season 3.

Quite a funny scene amidst all the drama and intensity:

VI: “How did you know my name?”

MADDIE: “It’s on your face.”

Honestly, I didn’t even think about that. I just thought the tattoo was Roman numerals for the number six.

I laughed. I love to see some comedy in drama when written in well. I’m used to that with watching Xena.

[torra-and-the-toons]

Since I never seem to have made a post about my top Ed Edd n Eddy episodes, here it is! 

Most of my favorites come from the later seasons, sorry if that’s a disappointment to some.

Torra’s Top 5 episodes! (in descending order)

#5 May I have this Ed?

This one is just cute, with the added bonus of Eddy basically declaring himself done with girls at the end. Between Eddy pretending to be way cooler than he actually is, Edd being terrified out of his mind over a dance, and Ed just having the time of his life, what’s not to like? The stuff happening in the background is almost funnier than the focus lmao. I wish Eddy hadn’t made them wear that ridiculous facial hair get-up, but I get it, it’s part of his character to fake puberty. Just… Eddy why.

#4 Hand Me Down Ed

Truly a very funny episode, but it is a little awkward to watch. The second-hand embarrassment is real. Someone please get Double Dee some clothes… Though, Rolf opening the door and just belting out in song was one of the moments that made me laugh the hardest in the whole series. I’m ever-fascinated by Kevin Lordi’s theory on the boomerang bringing out repressed traits rather than opposite traits, which is really what places this episode on my list.

#3 Every Which Way But Ed

What’s not the love about this episode? Baby Eds, Flashback gags, heavy-set characters that aren’t being made fun of, lines like “Zappity-Zap-Zap,” “You bet your sweet bippy I did!” All of it is just so wholesome and great. The storytelling is pretty cool too, we get to see the reasons behind a lot of small details we never would have thought twice about. But gosh the sequence with baby eds is too cute to leave off this list, I cry from the cuteness every time.

#2 Thick as an Ed

This has got to be one of the funniest episodes ever, which is why I’ve placed it #2. The humor is spot on, the writing is phenomenal, and the voice actors are truly the proverbial cherry on top of this delicious cake of an episode. The visual gag of the color falling off Double Dee from the stench has me in tears every time, and he and Ed’s little verbal spat is just *chef’s kiss* Literally nothing gets done but it’s far from a boring episode.

#1 Fistful of Ed

This one is number one on my list purely for the characterization and the writing. To have Edd become the school bully on accident was such a bold move, and they pulled it off so well. I love that they didn’t go a cliché route of having his friends back him up. Ed is actually scared of him, and Eddy, well… Eddy’s just an instigator, taking advantage of the situation for his own gain and not at all helping his suffering friend, in typical Eddy fashion. And to have Jimmy be the one who helps Edd in the end was a twist that I never saw coming, but it fit so well. This episode made me stop and truly appreciate Jimmy’s character. Plus, the ending sequence when Eddy tells the Kankers off was actually really nice. Overall, a very well-done episode.