#worst movies of the year

[mceproductions]

Worst of 2022 Movies #1: Morbius

The Pandemic altered many things with repercussions being felt nearly 3 years later.

One such thing was Sony’s intended universe with their own Spider-Man characters.

Venom 1 and 2 actually gave them a pretty solid footing.

But everything came crashing down with three simple words that are thankfully not in the movie, but somehow a bunch of stubborn fans insist on.

It’s Morbin Time.

Jared Leto playing the enigmatic Michael Morbius actually has some good heart and could have easily featured in with either Andrew Garfield, or Tom Holland‘s respective Spider-Man.

But rewrites necessitated by shuffling due to the pandemic altered this until it was just plain too convoluted for its own good.

When you have somebody who embodies the word vampire, but can only drink synthetic blood all because the movie had to appeal to a bigger audience. It kind of kills the mood.

Even the 90s Spider-Man cartoon actually solve this problem very creatively. Corny but showed Morbius as intended.

Not what we got here, although Matt Smith does make the fun go up a bit.

Kraven has got a lot of goodwill to earn back after this.

SUM 22: Jared Leto and a hacked plot doesn’t assemble Morbin Time. Only makes for 2022’s Worst Film.

[theflapperdamefilm]

The worst movies from 1939 that I've seen

All personal opinion

[valtsv]

probably the funniest thing i ever did as a kid was try to convince anyone who'd listen to me infodump about my favorite media that my ocs were actual canon characters in the story and then if they expressed genuine interest in checking it out i'd panic and be like no you Can't and just never speak to them again

[beetlemp3]

equinox cafe 🌕☕🍂

A whimsical autumn little coffee shop in mid-nowhere built over wiccan grounds... must be why their coffee tastes like magick!

✿Gallery ID: beetlemp3   ✿Cafe ✿  30x20 ✿  No CC

[novelconcepts]

As gently and politely as I can put this: that post I made about outliving him is meant to be an anti-suicide affirmation. It is not meant to be a blinders-on assessment of reality, of the future boiling down to whether one man lives or dies. It is meant to reassure myself and everyone else that the horrors come, and the horrors go, that nothing is permanent, that hope persists with split knuckles and blood on its teeth. Things are rough. Things will likely get rougher. My eyes are open to that, but in the end, the first thing they want from us is to roll over, surrender, die. And I will not be granting that wish. I deserve to be here. You deserve to be here. We deserve to see the sun rise. And it will. I promise.

[meteors-lotr]

So was anyone gonna tell me that we’re getting an animated lord of the rings movie about Rohan, or was I just going to find out about that when checking the upcoming movies for my local cinema

[the-phoenix-heart]

okay so I've been spending a lot of time thinking about Harry Potter recently and trolling the wiki for reasons and I have the weirdest observation about the series.

What is JKR's deal with Ravenclaw women?

I mean consider our main Ravenclaw girls: Luna Lovegood and Cho Chang (and Marietta Edgecombe). Luna in the movies is portrayed as whimsically queer, and that's not inaccurate to the books, but in the books she is more often a punchline than anything. She's a parody of the Ravenclaw ideals of creativity and openminded-ness to the point where she believes crazy conspiracy theories.

But she's our most positively portrayed Ravenclaw. Which is more than I can say for Cho and Marietta. Cho is portrayed as a pitiable character, someone so emotional and loyal that she is sympathetic, but the narrative portrays her overemotional nature and loyalty as bad traits. She's so emotional she'll blow up over perceived threats, and dwells on trauma, and it makes her a drag to talk to. And her loyalty is a bad thing because she chooses to be loyal to Marietta. Marietta is ESPECIALLY treated awfully. Marietta is scared for her mother's job that she rats out the DA and for her choice she is forever branded a traitor at 16, and this is completely justifiable. Like, if Hermione can jinx a paper to disfigure a person's face than couldn't she just jinx the paper to make it physically impossible to reveal the DA, except perhaps under the influence of veritaserum? Like the film did? But no, Hermione is instead more preoccupied with punishing than preventing (an insane thing for me to say, I'm sorry Hermione it's not your fault that your author is kinda insane about women).

(And just as a sidebar but Marietta is also given an illustration that makes it clear she was kinda ugly before the pimples which is so rude, but also so like JKR.)

Then you have very minor characters like Padma who are just generally portrayed as kinda bitchy. Padma gets off better than her sister in terms of being treated as bitchy, but it seems like Padma always carries the stigma of being disappointed by Ron at the Yule Ball.

But this goes back even FURTHER, to the oldest Ravenclaw student we are introduced to, Helena Ravenclaw.

In the films, again, Helena's scene with Harry is haunting. She's treated with respect and tragedy (almost all of the dialogue in the film is original). But in the books, yes we actually get her tragic backstory, but she is portrayed as haughty, vain, and prideful.

You can also add in Trelawney there as a Ravenclaw who is treated like a joke (crazy* and alcoholic).

And consider that the two women we know were almost in Ravenclaw, Hermione and McGonagall, end up going to Gryffindor and are portrayed as better off for it.

And like there is more to explore here. The four Ravenclaw men we really get to know are Filius, Ollivander, Xenophilius, and Lockhart. Xenpohilius is a conspiracy theorist (and a death eater sympathizer I just know it) and Lockhart is a buffoon who only really upholds the Ravenclaw wit and is skilled at memory charms.

(There's this crazy part of the Ravenclaw wiki page that actually compares Lockhart to Cho Chang because they both wanted to be popular. WHAT.)

Meanwhile you have Ollivander who is a positive Ravenclaw character, but is also barely in the books and Filius Flitwick. And Filius is a positive character but it is also canon that the Sorting Hat almost put him in Gryffindor, which seems like a pointed attempt to make it clear he's better than most Ravenclaws. Because he's got something of a Gryffindor edge to him.

I don't really know what the whole point of me going on this rant was about, other than just to point out that JKR is weird about Ravenclaws and the women in general. Almost all of them aren't allowed to actually uphold the actual values of their house: Wisdom, Intelligence, Learning. The only traits they ever really uphold is Wit if they are popular and Creativity, which seems to be a nice way of saying they're crazy conspiracy theorists. The only characters that really get anything good out of the house are Minerva and Hermione, and them being hatstalls is only meant to emphasize their intelligence in comparison to their Gryffindor peers. Otherwise Ravenclaw seems to just be JKR's go to bitchy/we need a villain who isn't Slytherin house.

*When I say "crazy" in this post I am referring to how JKR treats the characters. Babbling, loony, conspiratorial, and not in their right minds.

[dalesangeldoe]

...i know i shouldnt judge people for the movies they do or dont like, and i know not everyone will get Longlegs...

but...

someone saying Longlegs "the worst movie they've seen in a while"...

[variksel]

youtube ads becoming first one 5-second ad then two 5-second ads in a row or one 15-second ad then a million unskippable ads in the middle of videos instagram quietly inserting one ad in-between every 5 or 10 ig stories then 2 in-between 4 ig stories not to mention the new reel- and explore page ads. a quiet tumblr ad banner at the top of your dash then photo ads in-between posts then video ads then video ads in-between every 3 or 5 posts that play audio automatically while youre trying to read a textpost. the most popular, paid subscription, news apps adding ads between their articles, then in articles, then paywalling new articles further with a new "news +" subscription and putting ads in those as well. once every 15 tweets there being an ad, then every 5, then theres also an ad if you scroll to the replies. you cant look at tweets without logging in anymore, theres just no option for anon scrolling. facebook ai mining on instagram, facebook ai profiles hyping up ai generated photos im fucking going insane ai temu ads and gallery app ads and printer app ads and higher subscriptions while still seeing ads and i cant fucking do this anymore!!!!! its fucking shameless and worst of all its silent and nobody talks about how half the things we see anymore are fucking ads and we dont own a single thing we pay for and companies can just randomly raise their prices through the roof and nobody says anything about it

[mceproductions]

Worst of 2022 Movies #3: Pinocchio (2022 Live Action)

We start things off with Disneys continuing trend of churning out live action versions of their classics.

For this year all 3 entries are equally bad but by virtue of elimination this ends up at the bottom by help of the usually reliable combo of Tom Hanks and Robert Zemickis. In addition to the surprising turns by Joseph Gordon Levitt and Cynthia Erivo.

Pinocchio is reborn as Hanks actually gives his all as Gepetto while doing the usual antics that have been added into these adaptations to stretch them out.

But only so much source material can have the same wow factor after 80 years and so many other versions. One other this year is stop motion by a competitor streamer.

Brings back memories of a previous version which was used as a punchline in a variety show on multiple occasions that actually looked better than a soulless content filler on a streamer.

That result doesn’t bode well for others in the field.

And promising as next year’s live action Hans Christian Andersen ponyo source material looks, many had this bad taste left in their system.

SUM 22: When Drew Carey actually beats Tom Hanks at making a character come to life, the results continually prove newer isn’t always better for remakes.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Understandably So no one mentions charles when talking about the Logan movie and again Understandably So This Aint Bout Him however i do confess that as someone who had never seen Logan until like. a month ago when i was binging all the movies and without knowing a single thing about it aside from laura i cant lie i was in fact jumpscared by him being there. especially for at least like 3/4s of the movie

[housewarningparty]

I have absolutely zero confidence in the Speak No Evil remake being good

[dykeseinfeld]

everybody wants complex female characters and yet you can’t even handle harper from happiest season

[redlettermediathings]

[lokiusly]

tw: sh

what if when Mobius said “scar tissue”, Mobius meant he self h*rmed after the other hunters were killed because he thought it was his fault?

[vergilberg]

Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese x "Out of Touch" by Daryl Hall & John Oates (now on youtube!)