#worst movies of the year

[mceproductions]

Worst of 2024 Movies #2: Borderlands

All hot streaks eventually have a cooldown.

It is unfortunate that the victim for this cool down comes from a series that does have enough lore on its own to sustain more than its fair share of adventures.

Borderlands, the shooter about treasure hunters on a planet with comic book style visuals has entertained many fans over the years.

With Eli Roth giving his touch this should’ve been good.

Only here with the exception of Cate Blanchett, character miscasts were abound.

Notably Kevin Hart as a mercenary and not the robot that Jack Black made absolutely unbearable.

Mix in a lukewarm visuals and little sense of recognition beyond fans and this just seemed another part of Lionsgates recent trend of misfires.

When the over bloated Francis Ford Coppola fable that had Adam Driver say the phrase “So go back to da Club.” Looked far better, there was something wrong with this.

But not all video game adaptations can bat perfectly.

SUM 22: Vault hunting on Pandora never looked more disappointing than Eli Roths take on the fps. Cate Blanchett can only do so much.

[theflapperdamefilm]

The worst movies from 1939 that I've seen

All personal opinion

[novelconcepts]

As gently and politely as I can put this: that post I made about outliving him is meant to be an anti-suicide affirmation. It is not meant to be a blinders-on assessment of reality, of the future boiling down to whether one man lives or dies. It is meant to reassure myself and everyone else that the horrors come, and the horrors go, that nothing is permanent, that hope persists with split knuckles and blood on its teeth. Things are rough. Things will likely get rougher. My eyes are open to that, but in the end, the first thing they want from us is to roll over, surrender, die. And I will not be granting that wish. I deserve to be here. You deserve to be here. We deserve to see the sun rise. And it will. I promise.

[valtsv]

probably the funniest thing i ever did as a kid was try to convince anyone who'd listen to me infodump about my favorite media that my ocs were actual canon characters in the story and then if they expressed genuine interest in checking it out i'd panic and be like no you Can't and just never speak to them again

[beetlemp3]

equinox cafe 🌕☕🍂

A whimsical autumn little coffee shop in mid-nowhere built over wiccan grounds... must be why their coffee tastes like magick!

✿Gallery ID: beetlemp3   ✿Cafe ✿  30x20 ✿  No CC

[nobodysdaydreams]

I don’t know to what extent the “they added stuff to Wicked Part 2” is true, but if they did add stuff, I’m gonna need the Wizard to face the music a little bit more because his story ends with him believing he murdered his own child for the stupidest of reasons and that needs more attention.

Not only is he a deadbeat and a powerless con man, but he puts a hit out on his own long-lost daughter (the witch) who once looked up to him as a hero. He even sends a lost little girl (Dorothy) to do the job, since he’s too much of coward to face the witch himself.

Does he do this because Elphaba is trying to kill him?

No, he does it because she’s calling out his animal abuse and won’t use her own super powerful magic to help her old man trick people into thinking he’s cool.

Do they at least have an “I am your father moment” like in Star Wars?

No, in the musical, she never finds out (though that might be for the best), but when the Wizard does, he had the audacity to act shocked and sad even though he was getting with random women in his youth and giving them all mysterious green beverages so really this shouldn’t be surprising, statistically he likely had a kid out there somewhere and if he “always wanted to be a dad” or cared as much as he claimed, he really should have been on that. But he was only concerned with dodging the child support payments, and now he thinks his only child is dead because of him.

So does he at the very least clear her name, accept whatever punishment the people see fit for his crimes, hold a funeral for Elphaba, or perhaps try to finish what she started by beginning to make right or undo the horrible crimes that he committed?

Nah. He’s just like “welp. The jig is up, time to skedaddle” and sadly gets in his hot air balloon and regretfully lets the breeze blow him away.

Like, no. He should not get away that easy. I want his stupid balloon to crash in the middle of a field where Elphaba and Fiyero find him crying over her green bottle and are like:

“Let me get this straight. You’re swept away to a magic land. Your first move is getting with random women and giving them mysterious magic green liquids before you con your way into taking over the land and silencing all the animals by making them literal scapegoats. Then, you’re looking for someone to help you keep up your charade, and a person whose age + 9 months is equal to the amount of time that’s passed since you got with those random women and gave them green elixirs shows up, a green person, the only green person in this entire realm, who is insanely powerful in a way no one can explain, and it never, never, occurs to you to check whether or not this is your child!???”

The Wizard (through pathetic tears as he lovingly strokes the green bottle): “I said I was a sentimental man. Never said I was a smart one. Someone green’s age + 9 months = time since I last saw a pretty woman and gave her a mysterious green beverage is very, very hard math.”

Fiyero: “Are you sure you’re not the one without a brain?”

[moonshynecybin]

u rly have put a lot of things in context for me regarding marco simoncelli & the honest trauma vale was (and like probably still is) reckoning with & it’s made me totally reevaluate my take overall. I think I was maybe overlooking it a little bc like…the idea of not only watching one of your close friends die but right in front of you but also having to reckon with the fact you were directly involved is unfathomably horrific. I also wonder if he ever looks at Bezz & sees Simo bc I do a lot :(

the thing about vale is he very clearly wants people to remember sic and know that he misses/grieves for sic but he never wants (very understandably !!!!) to show publicly exactly how bad this whole deal hurt him, so he’s often not gonna get into the nitty-gritty sort of. this changed the way he interacts with his peers and the sport as a whole kind of thing, even though it absolutely did. undeniably so. so i can’t blame you for not realizing it bc i don’t really think he wants you to

[meteors-lotr]

So was anyone gonna tell me that we’re getting an animated lord of the rings movie about Rohan, or was I just going to find out about that when checking the upcoming movies for my local cinema

[the-phoenix-heart]

okay so I've been spending a lot of time thinking about Harry Potter recently and trolling the wiki for reasons and I have the weirdest observation about the series.

What is JKR's deal with Ravenclaw women?

I mean consider our main Ravenclaw girls: Luna Lovegood and Cho Chang (and Marietta Edgecombe). Luna in the movies is portrayed as whimsically queer, and that's not inaccurate to the books, but in the books she is more often a punchline than anything. She's a parody of the Ravenclaw ideals of creativity and openminded-ness to the point where she believes crazy conspiracy theories.

But she's our most positively portrayed Ravenclaw. Which is more than I can say for Cho and Marietta. Cho is portrayed as a pitiable character, someone so emotional and loyal that she is sympathetic, but the narrative portrays her overemotional nature and loyalty as bad traits. She's so emotional she'll blow up over perceived threats, and dwells on trauma, and it makes her a drag to talk to. And her loyalty is a bad thing because she chooses to be loyal to Marietta. Marietta is ESPECIALLY treated awfully. Marietta is scared for her mother's job that she rats out the DA and for her choice she is forever branded a traitor at 16, and this is completely justifiable. Like, if Hermione can jinx a paper to disfigure a person's face than couldn't she just jinx the paper to make it physically impossible to reveal the DA, except perhaps under the influence of veritaserum? Like the film did? But no, Hermione is instead more preoccupied with punishing than preventing (an insane thing for me to say, I'm sorry Hermione it's not your fault that your author is kinda insane about women).

(And just as a sidebar but Marietta is also given an illustration that makes it clear she was kinda ugly before the pimples which is so rude, but also so like JKR.)

Then you have very minor characters like Padma who are just generally portrayed as kinda bitchy. Padma gets off better than her sister in terms of being treated as bitchy, but it seems like Padma always carries the stigma of being disappointed by Ron at the Yule Ball.

But this goes back even FURTHER, to the oldest Ravenclaw student we are introduced to, Helena Ravenclaw.

In the films, again, Helena's scene with Harry is haunting. She's treated with respect and tragedy (almost all of the dialogue in the film is original). But in the books, yes we actually get her tragic backstory, but she is portrayed as haughty, vain, and prideful.

You can also add in Trelawney there as a Ravenclaw who is treated like a joke (crazy* and alcoholic).

And consider that the two women we know were almost in Ravenclaw, Hermione and McGonagall, end up going to Gryffindor and are portrayed as better off for it.

And like there is more to explore here. The four Ravenclaw men we really get to know are Filius, Ollivander, Xenophilius, and Lockhart. Xenpohilius is a conspiracy theorist (and a death eater sympathizer I just know it) and Lockhart is a buffoon who only really upholds the Ravenclaw wit and is skilled at memory charms.

(There's this crazy part of the Ravenclaw wiki page that actually compares Lockhart to Cho Chang because they both wanted to be popular. WHAT.)

Meanwhile you have Ollivander who is a positive Ravenclaw character, but is also barely in the books and Filius Flitwick. And Filius is a positive character but it is also canon that the Sorting Hat almost put him in Gryffindor, which seems like a pointed attempt to make it clear he's better than most Ravenclaws. Because he's got something of a Gryffindor edge to him.

I don't really know what the whole point of me going on this rant was about, other than just to point out that JKR is weird about Ravenclaws and the women in general. Almost all of them aren't allowed to actually uphold the actual values of their house: Wisdom, Intelligence, Learning. The only traits they ever really uphold is Wit if they are popular and Creativity, which seems to be a nice way of saying they're crazy conspiracy theorists. The only characters that really get anything good out of the house are Minerva and Hermione, and them being hatstalls is only meant to emphasize their intelligence in comparison to their Gryffindor peers. Otherwise Ravenclaw seems to just be JKR's go to bitchy/we need a villain who isn't Slytherin house.

*When I say "crazy" in this post I am referring to how JKR treats the characters. Babbling, loony, conspiratorial, and not in their right minds.

[dalesangeldoe]

...i know i shouldnt judge people for the movies they do or dont like, and i know not everyone will get Longlegs...

but...

someone saying Longlegs "the worst movie they've seen in a while"...

[mceproductions]

Worst of 2022 Movies #1: Morbius

The Pandemic altered many things with repercussions being felt nearly 3 years later.

One such thing was Sony’s intended universe with their own Spider-Man characters.

Venom 1 and 2 actually gave them a pretty solid footing.

But everything came crashing down with three simple words that are thankfully not in the movie, but somehow a bunch of stubborn fans insist on.

It’s Morbin Time.

Jared Leto playing the enigmatic Michael Morbius actually has some good heart and could have easily featured in with either Andrew Garfield, or Tom Holland‘s respective Spider-Man.

But rewrites necessitated by shuffling due to the pandemic altered this until it was just plain too convoluted for its own good.

When you have somebody who embodies the word vampire, but can only drink synthetic blood all because the movie had to appeal to a bigger audience. It kind of kills the mood.

Even the 90s Spider-Man cartoon actually solve this problem very creatively. Corny but showed Morbius as intended.

Not what we got here, although Matt Smith does make the fun go up a bit.

Kraven has got a lot of goodwill to earn back after this.

SUM 22: Jared Leto and a hacked plot doesn’t assemble Morbin Time. Only makes for 2022’s Worst Film.

[dykeseinfeld]

everybody wants complex female characters and yet you can’t even handle harper from happiest season

[variksel]

youtube ads becoming first one 5-second ad then two 5-second ads in a row or one 15-second ad then a million unskippable ads in the middle of videos instagram quietly inserting one ad in-between every 5 or 10 ig stories then 2 in-between 4 ig stories not to mention the new reel- and explore page ads. a quiet tumblr ad banner at the top of your dash then photo ads in-between posts then video ads then video ads in-between every 3 or 5 posts that play audio automatically while youre trying to read a textpost. the most popular, paid subscription, news apps adding ads between their articles, then in articles, then paywalling new articles further with a new "news +" subscription and putting ads in those as well. once every 15 tweets there being an ad, then every 5, then theres also an ad if you scroll to the replies. you cant look at tweets without logging in anymore, theres just no option for anon scrolling. facebook ai mining on instagram, facebook ai profiles hyping up ai generated photos im fucking going insane ai temu ads and gallery app ads and printer app ads and higher subscriptions while still seeing ads and i cant fucking do this anymore!!!!! its fucking shameless and worst of all its silent and nobody talks about how half the things we see anymore are fucking ads and we dont own a single thing we pay for and companies can just randomly raise their prices through the roof and nobody says anything about it

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Understandably So no one mentions charles when talking about the Logan movie and again Understandably So This Aint Bout Him however i do confess that as someone who had never seen Logan until like. a month ago when i was binging all the movies and without knowing a single thing about it aside from laura i cant lie i was in fact jumpscared by him being there. especially for at least like 3/4s of the movie

[housewarningparty]

I have absolutely zero confidence in the Speak No Evil remake being good

[redlettermediathings]