#worst modern bracket

[fairytale-poll]

MODERN ADAPTATION BRACKET WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT POST!!!

We have finished another tournament (or rather, two mini-tournaments!) Thank you guys for another great one, the results really surprised me this time around!! I apologize for deciding not to hold a Loser's Bracket & Mod's Choice poll this time around, but both will be back for the next tournament.

Before we go into the winners, however, I want to say that this blog is officially a year old! I opened submissions for our first tournament, Red Riding Poll, on July 26th of 2023, and the first rounds of the poll came in the early days of August 2023! Since then, we have hosted 4 tournaments (Red Riding Poll, Cinder Poll, Little Merpoll, & Modern Adaptation Brackets) and it's truly been a great experience! I can't wait to see how many more brackets we will do in the future :)

Okay, onward to the winners!

We will start with the Best Modern Bracket. The quarterfinalists for that one were Once Upon a Time and The Sisters Grimm! Once Upon a Time has been a decisive pick, being both on the Best and Worst brackets, but since it only placed in the Best bracket it must have some merit to it! :) As for the Sisters Grimm, it was definitely a popular choice and probably would've won the whole bracket if it did not have to go against the eventual first-place winner/that said first-place winner wasn't in the tournament. I've never read it, but if I were to give "fan favorite" award for this bracket it would definitely win it. Congratulations to fans of both of these fairytale crossover series for the bronze medal!

The semifinalists of the Best Modern Bracket was Hook! This is another one that I haven't watched, but Robin Williams' old movies are definitely great nostalgic picks (RIP). Though technically Peter Pan isn't a fairytale, I think that it is often listed with them enough that it should count, so congrats to Hook for carrying that win!

Finally, the winner of the Best Modern Bracket was none other than the magical girl classic, Princess Tutu!!! This is one of my favorite anime series that I don't see often, so I was more than surprised to see it not only submitted but win (and by a lot, too! It practically swept every poll it went against, even things like Ponyo which I really thought was going to carry the win due to how universally loved it is!) A delightful series that definitely deserves the love, I couldn't be happier to see that this little duck made it all the way to the gold <3

Applaud to the Best Modern Bracket winners!!! Now, get ready to point and laugh at the Worst Modern Bracket winners!!! (Or losers, in a way, if you think about it). Okay, but in all seriousness, if you like any of these listed for the Worst Modern Bracket, try not to take offense! This is all in good fun :)

The quarterfinalists for the Worst Modern Bracket were Avalon High and Sydney White! Sydney White was one of those that were in both brackets, but it only ranked in the Worst one. As for Avalon High, I have been told that the dislike for this one was more so for it being a bad book-to-movie adaptation, which is interesting to hear. Anyway, I haven't watched either, so I have no witty comments.

For the semifinalist, we have Hooked! Another Peter Pan adaptation in the 2nd place, go figure... Well, I feel as if this book was more well-known, it could've gone to #1 as people tended to have a lot of strong feelings on this. I admit, the summary doesn't make it sound too appealing to me... well, here it is with the silver for that!

The winner was obvious to me as soon as the bracket started. And I was right on the money, for none other than Beastly got the winning title of the Worst Modern Bracket! It has all the pitfalls of bad Beauty and the Beast adaptations that I've noticed and it's certainly quite infamous (especially after the Jenny Nicholson video)! I distinctly remember seeing the commercials for it on TV when I was a kid and thinking "that movie looks weird... is that what teens like?" Apparently not, since it didn't do so well! Nobody deserves the honor of being called the Worst Modern Bracket like this movie, good job!

aaaannnnndddd that's it for the modern bracket polls! Thank you everyone who participated. Our next tournament as voted on by you guys will be Best Fairy Godmother. I don't have a figure of when I will open submissions, but I would say at least two weeks. See you then! <3 <3 <3

[katyswrites]

don't call me 'baby'

PART 1 | SERIES

Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader

Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, swearing, sexual harassment/men being gross, alcohol use, smoking, age gap

Wordcount: 4k

A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?

PART 1 | in the same room, at the same time

This wasn’t supposed to happen. That’s what you would tell yourself, later. But, life is funny that way - nothing ever really goes the way you’d expect it. And, when you had taken the last-minute shift at Enoteca Bruni, the fine-dining restaurant where you worked as a cocktail waitress, you could have never predicted where the night would take you.

It had started with a large reservation that had come in around 8pm, four businessmen in suits and watches that you imagined cost more than your entire month’s rent. You were used to that type - considering the prices on the wine list, nearly everyone you served here lived at least three tax brackets above you. It wasn’t a job meant for everyone - a lot of these types of customers were dismissive, rude, and expected those who serve them to disappear in the background, not to interrupt whatever they were doing, which was obviously oh-so-important. But, the tips were phenomenal, and the late night hours worked perfectly with your daytime shifts at the cafe in the city’s center.

Still, the most intriguing thing about them was that they weren’t Italian, like you had gotten used to - nor were they speaking Spanish, French, German, or any of the other languages you had learned to recognize over the last few years. No, they were American. It wasn’t often that you heard your native tongue and accent nowadays - no, it was actually jarring. But, you welcomed it. The oldest man at the table, a gray-haired, thin man with a sharp face and tailored three-piece suit, smiled when you greeted them with a hello.

“How wonderful,” he had exclaimed. “Someone from our side of the world.”

“Finally,” a younger man with a smattering of freckles on the other side of the table had said, exasperated. “We’ve got someone who actually speaks English around here.”

“Well,” you said, “To be fair, you are in Rome. I suppose you could say we are the odd-ones-out.”

He rolled his eyes, and shrugged. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m just trying to say it’s nice to actually understand who I’m talking to for once, you know? Not that I’m looking for her to talk back.”

Unfortunately, that didn’t even crack the top ten worst things a customer had said to you in your time working here. So instead, you just plastered on a cheerful smile.

“Of course. In that case, what drinks can I get started for you gentlemen?”

As the hours wore on though, it was becoming harder and harder to feign kindness. With each wave of dismissal, or snap of their fingers, you wanted to take the drinks you were serving and throw them in their faces. The worst of the bunch were probably the first older man you had spoken to, who had such a vile demeanor about him that you couldn’t quite put your finger on it; and perhaps worse than him were two of the younger men, the dark-haired one with freckles, and a sandy-haired guy with what you could only describe as a mullet.

1982 called, it wants its hairstyle back, you thought to yourself. 

It was those two who you could see undressing you with their eyes, who called you over for nonsense requests, asking you to bend over the table to get things that you knew they were perfectly capable of reaching themselves. And, you weren’t deaf; you heard the comments they made as you walked away to fetch more wine and scotch.

Look at that ass go, one of them said. I’d definitely hit it.

As if you could pull that, the other said. Besides, you’ve already got two bitches on the side Billy; leave some for the rest of us.

Don’t look at me, the sandy-haired man who was apparently named Billy retorted. If anyone around here needs to get laid, it’s Harrington.

With your back turned, you rolled your eyes, and wondered if they’d notice if you spit in their drink - that was, until no-first-name Harrington replied.

Guys, lay off - just let the girl do her job, yeah? 

You took a deep breath, and recomposed yourself - it was the bare minimum, but it was something - someone who saw you as a person, maybe.

You carried the tray over with a wide smile plastered on your face, handing out drinks as you surveyed the table. You glanced at Harrington, the quietest one in the group - you had hardly heard a word from him all night, until right now. He was handsome, on the younger side of the group, but you’d estimate still about a decade your senior; he had a thick, slightly wild head of chestnut hair, and more of a boyish look about him. And with the exception of his perfectly-tailored suit and ostentatious Rolex, he didn’t look to have much else in common with his colleagues at first glance. While they sat at ease, laughing and conversing over their drinks, he sat up straight, stoically swirling his wine.

You pulled the post-dinner cigars they had asked you to bring out of the box, slicing the end with the guillotine cutter and handing the first one to the oldest man, striking a match and lighting it for him until he drew smoke. It felt humiliating sometimes, to light the Suits’ cigars for them as if they couldn’t do it themselves, but that came with the territory in a place like this, you had learned. 

You reached Harrington last, only for him to shake his head.

“Oh, none for me - thank you though.”

Thank you - he was probably the first one from the table to say that all evening. 

“Can I get you gentleman anything else?” you asked stiffly.

“That’ll be all, for now,” the gray-haired man said, waving you off. 

You nodded, and at the bar, decided it was high time for your smoke break. You glanced at your watch - your shift was over in less than an hour, and your high heels were killing you. You signaled to the manager behind the bar that you were taking fifteen, and shouldered your way out the door.

*****

The first few minutes outside were peaceful, and relatively quiet - at least, as quiet as Rome could be at this hour. There was still the distant sound of traffic, the bustle of people on the sidewalk, many drunkenly stumbling and laughing, in the midst of making merry on a Friday night. You took a drag from your cigarette and inhaled deeply - even just a few moments off of your feet, and sitting out here on this bench in the fresh air, was starting to take the edge off. Still, you couldn’t shake that table of men - your manager had warned you that it was a very high-profile client, explaining that the dinner was likely a pretense for some multi-million dollar deal to be discussed. Still, you found yourself muttering under your breath, practicing the retorts and profanities you had wanted to throw at them. The shield you had built for dealing with customers was only so strong, and if your job wasn’t on the line, you probably would have told them to fuck off hours ago.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you don’t hear someone approaching, not until they’re right next to you, clearing their throat.

“Oh! Jesus, hi,” you say, clutching your chest with your hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

Harrington was standing above you, hands in his pockets and his tie loosened.

“It’s fine - I promise, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

His smile was friendly, and a bit apologetic. He looked different in the dim light, a bit younger, and not at all like someone who spends his days in an office doing… whatever those men inside did.

“You mind if I sit?” he asked, gesturing to the empty spot next to you on the bench. You just shook your head, a bit wary of him still.

He smiled, and started fishing around in his pockets until he pulled out a small baggie of tobacco and a pack of rolling papers. You raised your eyebrows, and smirked.

“You roll your own cigarettes?” you asked.

He nodded, not quite looking at you, focused intently on the task and hand.

“Yep. It’s so much better than that crap you smoke, trust me.”

You scoffed, despite the fact that this man was technically your customer, and your shift wasn’t quite over yet.

“Yeah, well, I’m doing just fine with what I’ve got. Thanks though…” you trailed off, looking at him expectantly. He caught on and turned to face you, grinning.

“Steve. Steve Harrington.”

He extended a hand towards you. You hesitated for a moment, caught off-guard by the simplicity of the gesture from someone like him, but you took it, telling him your own name. His much bigger hand was warm and calloused, shaking yours firmly before pulling away.

You stared at him intently, desperately trying to figure him out as you placed your cigarette between your lips and inhaled. It was hard to figure out what exactly his deal was - but, he was talking to you like you were an actual person, so that was at least a step above most of the people you’d waited on here.

When he finished rolling, he stuck the cigarette between his lips, then sighed. 

“Shit - d’you have a light?”

You nodded, reaching into your handbag and pulling out your small blue lighter. He leaned in close, close enough that you could faintly smell his cologne, feel the heat radiating off of him in the cool May evening. It took a moment for the flame to catch, then he was leaning back and he took a drag, letting his eyes flutter shut.

You looked away quickly, staring at the street ahead. Your black cocktail dress didn’t offer much coverage, causing you to shiver slightly as a breeze picked up. It was Steve who broke the silence, after a few moments.

“I want to apologize, by the way - my, uh, colleagues… they’re assholes.”

You nearly choked at his words, whipping around to face him.

“I’m sorry… what?”

“I - I don’t know how much you heard in there, but -”

“I heard enough,” you said quickly.

His face fell, then hardened. He looked… angry? Or, perhaps disappointed.

“I really am sorry. I know I probably should have said something, but…Brenner’s my boss. And, there’s a lot of people who would kill to work for him. So, you have to understand… I mean, Tommy and Billy, they’re real jerks. I can’t stand them, most of the time. So, just know that if you want to punch them in the face, I’d understand.”

You laughed at that, shaking your head. 

“Well, just between you and me, I do want to punch them. But… I would really like to keep my job, and actually get a good tip at the end of the night. So, if I can make it through the next -” you glanced at your watch, “- half an hour or so, I’ll be alright. I’m kind of used to it anyway, working here.”

You felt his eyes on you, but didn’t turn to meet his gaze. Then, he said more softly, “I’m sorry to hear that. Really.”

You shrugged. 

“It’s fine. But, thank you - most people don’t take the time to say that, I guess.”

A moment of semi-awkward silence fell between you and him, before you added, “But, it’s good to know that I apparently have a nice ass.”

He laughed at that, choking on the smoke he was inhaling.

“Oh God - Billy and Tommy really are the worst. Did you hear that they actually were trying to make a bet about you in there?”

You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued.

“What kind of bet?”

He suddenly broke eye contact, staring straight ahead as he shook his head vigorously.

“You know what - nevermind, you’d be disgusted -”

“Well now you have to tell me,” you conceded, inching closer. “C’mon, it can’t be that bad -”

“They said if I manage to get you to go home with me tonight, they’d agree on this huge deal with HNL that they’ve been trying to close with our European counterpart for months - they said it because they knew it wouldn’t happen, of course, I don’t really -”

“What would you get?” you asked bluntly.

“Huh?”

“If they thought you won the bet, like, would that be good for your job?”

He scoffs, nodding fervently.

“Um, yes - my yearly bonus would probably quadruple -”

“Then let’s do it,” you said.

His mouth fell open, and he was staring at you like you had three heads.

“Do what, exactly?”

He suddenly looked flushed, frozen in place as he stared at you. You felt a devilish grin spread on your face as you looked back at him, stubbing out the cigarette with the toe of your shoe.

“Here’s what we’re going to do, Harrington.”

*****

You had made sure he arrived back at the table only moments before you. The group of cajoling men were louder now, Tommy slurring his words and Billy in a heated debate with Brenner. Steve flashed a smile at the group, then started sipping his drink as if he had never left.

“What I’m saying is, if we offer them 14 percent -”

“Well, at that rate, we may as well sell them the whole goddamn company -”

“We’re going to have to budge at least a little if we want to make headway, otherwise Upside Tech might outbid us -”

“Harrington!” Tommy cried over the other two men. “Where th’hell ‘ave you been? You left me stranded with these two, they’re actually trying to work right now -”

Then, he spotted you, suddenly flashing a grin that was too wide for your liking.

“Mademoiselle - might I say, I think you’ve only gotten hotter since I last saw you -”

“That was only about twenty minutes ago,” Steve said firmly, cutting Tommy off. “Also, we’re in Italy, not France.”

Tommy waved him off, leaning closer across the table, towards where you stood. 

“May I ask, how’re you getting home tonight, little lady?”

You just smiled.

“I’m actually so happy you brought that up - while I appreciate your concern and all, I’ve got that covered.”

You then turned to Steve, who froze in place.

“Ready to go, Steve?” you asked innocently.

All conversation stopped, then, the other men around the table stopped to gape at him. A smug smirk appeared on Steve’s face, and he stood up slowly, smoothing out his suit.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

Despite yourself, your heart fluttered at the pet name, as ridiculous as it felt. 

“What?” Billy said, his jaw nearly on the floor.

But before they could ask any more questions, Steve was holding out his bent arm, which you graciously hooked yourself through. You pressed yourself into his side, flashing another grin back at the group.

“I’ve left your bill on the table - thank you gentlemen for a wonderful evening, and we hope to see you soon!”

Then Steve surveyed the table, adding, “I suspect you’ll be in touch about negotiation meetings shortly? Since that was the deal and all. I’ll see you at the office on Monday.”

Then, you and Steve turned a corner and headed out the door, to where a car was already waiting for you.

Steve gestured for you to go in ahead of him, opening the backseat door. You slid across, greeting the driver quickly and Steve followed, shutting the door behind you. The second it was closed, you both looked at each other, and burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“Oh my God - did you see their faces?”

“I’m going to live on that for years,” he added, fighting to breathe. You threw your head back, practically cackling at the memory of their dumbfounded expressions.

“That was amazing,” Steve said, regaining his composure. “Seriously, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it - I think I got off of it more than you.”

“I doubt that.”

You met his gaze, and your breath stopped for a moment. He really was handsome, his honey-brown eyes staring into yours with such sincerity that it was actually overwhelming. You looked away quickly, staring straight ahead.

“Well, if anything, it made my shift more interesting, so thanks,” you said, fiddling with your hands in your lap.

“Yeah, and you just made me my yearly bonus, so thank you.”

After a moment, he cleared his throat. 

“So, uh, where do you live? So I can get you home.”

“Oh! Right,” you said. “Um, do you have any ID or anything?”

Steve furrowed his brow, confused.

“Why are you asking?”

“Look, don’t take this personally - I’ve watched way too much Criminal Minds in my life. And, while I’m sure you’re nice and all, I’m not exactly gonna tell a strange man I’ve never met where I live without some precautions. So, I’m going to take a picture of your ID and send it to my roommate, so she knows who to turn in if I end up on the news, yeah?”

Steve just smirked, and pulled out his wallet.

“So, you think I’m strange?”

You shrugged, fighting a smile.

“Obviously, yes.”

Steve chuckled softly, fishing his license out of his wallet.

“Fair enough - as long as you’re not trying to steal my identity or anything.”

“Oh, definitely,” you said sarcastically. “I was actually going to buy a mansion in your name, if that’s alright.”

He laughed, handing you the card as you took a photo. The address was in Indiana - interesting. He was also 30, judging from his birthday - nearly ten years older than you. Also interesting. You handed it back, shooting a quick text to Robin:

I’ll explain later, but in case I get murdered!

You attached the photo and pressed send. 

Satisfied, you leaned forward, telling your address to the driver, who nodded and pulled onto the busy city street.

You leaned back in your seat, staring out the window. You passed dimly-lit alleyways and bustling restaurants, groups smoking on the sidewalk and couples kissing on benches as the evening started winding down. The silence in the car is comfortable enough, considering that you met the man beside you a few hours ago. It’s him who breaks the lull in conversation, once again.

“So, why did you do it?” he asked quietly.

“Hm?”

“The bet? Well, kind of - at least, why did you make it look like I - like we -”

You shrugged, shifting to face him.

“Honestly?”

He nodded, gaze fixed on you.

“Well - a few reasons, I guess. I knew it would get those jerks off of my back. And, I knew it would help you, with your bonus and all.”

“And why did you want to help me, though? You know nothing about me.”

“Not true,” you said firmly. “I know one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“You’re kind.”

It was simple, but true - for the type of clientele you usually served, he was a rare breed. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it was something.

“I mean, you were nice to me, and actually treated me like a person. I can’t say that for a lot of people, not in that place.”

“Oh,” he said softly. 

A beat. Two. Then, he added, “Oh no - I didn’t even ask, did you have a car, back at the restaurant? Because we can go back and get it -”

“No, don’t worry about it - I don’t have one. I usually take the bus.”

“Oh - alright.”

You tried to stop yourself from rolling your eyes - Steve probably wouldn’t be caught dead on a bus. Or any public transport, for that matter. But, you kept it within yourself, and turned out towards the window again - the sights were getting more familiar, the buildings a little more run-down - closer to home.

You noticed your phone light up in your lap, and glanced down - a response from Robin.

Um… congrats???? Getting laid???? You’d better tell me EVERYTHING!!!!

You laughed under your breath, and saw Steve move to look at you out of the corner of your eye, curious. Before you could respond to her message, the car came to a halt right outside of your apartment building. You sighed, and turned to face the man beside you.

“Well, this is me. Thank you. For the ride home, I mean - you didn’t really have to do that.”

“Of course I did,” Steve said, waving a hand. “Had to make sure you got home safely and all, it was the least I could do.”

You both looked at each other for a moment, faces soft. You shot him another appreciative smile, and popped open the car door.

“Goodnight, Steve Harrington. Until we meet again!”

You knew the chances of seeing him ever again were slim at best, but it felt like the right thing to say, given the hilarity of the situation. After slamming the door shut, you rooted through your bag for your keys, taking the steps up to your door two at a time. Before heading inside, you turned and waved to the car one more time - Steve wasn’t visible through the tinted windows, but you liked to imagine that he was waving back, maybe even smiling fondly. 

******

Two days later, an envelope was pushed through the mail slot in your door. It was Robin who brought it in, plopping it down on the kitchen table as you sipped your coffee.

“What’s that?” you asked.

She shrugged, carding through the other envelopes and flyers.

“Don’t know. But, it’s made out to you. The envelope looks fancy though - I mean, who the Hell puts a wax seal on letters anymore?”

You felt your heart skip a beat, and snatched it up, turning it over in your hands - it was thick, the nice kind of stationary that you had to go out of your way to buy. There was a return address, but it seemed like it was for an office building of some kind, with no name associated. And, right on the center, a red wax seal with an H. You felt your face grow hot, your stomach doing somersaults as you practically tore the thing open.

Inside was a simple piece of paper with a note scrawled on it. After writing out your name, it read:

Thank you again, for the other night. You have no idea how much that helped me out. Plus, it was probably the best time I’ve had at a work event… well, ever. But, since you provided such great service… you really should be tipped appropriately. I also made sure to leave a glowing review with your manager the next day. Buy yourself something nice.

S.H.

You glanced back in the envelope, and gasped - loudly enough that Robin stopped what she was doing, and joined you in her awe.

“Is that -”

“Yeah,” you whispered. “It’s a shit ton of money.”

He had sent a stack of €100 notes - you hadn’t counted yet, but it had to be over €1,000, at least. 

“Dude, that’s like, at least two months’ rent right there, right?” Robin asks, flabbergasted.

“I - yeah.”

“Okay, be honest - are you a drug dealer? Is that, like, a side gig you’ve got going?”

You shook your head incredulously, gripping the money - the most cash you had ever held at one time in your life.

“No,” you admitted. “That would be a lot easier to explain.” Steve Harrington, you thought to yourself, what’s your deal?

Notes: a brand new fic! A ton of credit goes to my friend Em, who indulges my fantasies and headcanons with plenty of ideas of her own. Also, I've never been to Rome, so bear with me here. Also, please always read content warnings before reading each part!

Reply if you'd like to be added to the taglist

[i-am-the-oyster]

Can you tell me about Lewisohn and why he’s so hated? I’m a bit new here and I was recommended a blog that is solely dedicated to hating this guy. Was he a homophobe or did he do something rude to the boys?

Hello anon! I feel your pain. Lewisohn is a controversial figure, and it can be hard to get a read on what people think of him and why.

Lewisohn is writing what he hopes will be the definitive history of the Beatles. He has so far completed volume 1 (which covers from before they were born till 1962), as well as several other books from before he started working on the series.

He is very popular with some parts of the fandom because he has done really extensive research and is considerably better than other authors I could name.

But, there are some serious issues with his work.

First of all, his author bios tend to call him "the acknowledged authority" and his wiki article refers to him as a "historian". I would be slow to apply either of those terms to him. His training and experience are in journalism, and he does not apply modern standards of historical research to his work.

Secondly while his writing is engaging (I read the extended version of Tune In and missed it when it was over) his analysis is often lacking in empathy. For example, he tells us (ad nauseam) how "mean" and "cheap" Paul was, but doesn't take any time to consider the money and family issues Paul was facing that a) didn't apply to the others b) might have caused such behaviour. If the most ambitious and diligent musician in the group won't buy himself a new guitar, maybe he has a reason, you know?

Thirdly, he's weirdly dismissive of oral accounts. Liverpool locals figured out where Paul had his paper round, but it wasn't on a piece of paper, so as far as ML was concerned it didn't count.

Fourthly (this list is getting long) he had some kind of falling out with Paul (and Apple Corps) around 2009. He went from being invited to write Paul's biography to being dis-invited. It's not clear exactly what when on between them, but ML has not acknowledged that it might impact his objectivity wrt his writing.

Fifth he completely ignores queer issues. There's a part where he sort of darkly hints about George's sexuality, but in a childish heternormative way. His treatment of Brian's sexuality isn't completely terrible, but neither is it fantastic. I'd be amazed if he ever addresses the evidence for, eg, John's bisexuality.

One of the most difficult things for me is that he's overtly racist against the Irish in the worst self-satisfied Brit way (apologies to my British readers if that sounds harsh, but it is A Thing).

I would still recommend reading it, but as with all books on the Beatles, you must take it with a pinch of salt. Go in aware of his bias against Paul and his hero-worship of John, and there's a lot to be gained from reading the book, in my opinion.

And I really hope that he'll eventually pass on his extensive research collection as a public resource for actual historians to comb over and analyse.

@wingsoverlagos and @mythserene have done some detailed analysis of specific problems with his work, especially his terrible citation "style". (He merges quotes from different contexts, adds words in square brackets that change the meaning, chops out relevant information, and more). Some of those posts might seem a bit vitriolic if you're coming at them cold, but once you know the context the ire makes sense.

For a really in-depth analysis of the problems with his treatment of Paul in Tune In check out @anotherkindofmindpod's series Fine Tuning.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket) Side A

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

Propaganda below ⬇️

Pastry

GOD girlie gets a vision of the past showing her the truth of her and all cookies creation, and chooses to keep believing the lies she was fed because she doesn’t know any other way

this girl SO TRAUMATIZED IT’S UNREAL. She’s on the tipping point from cult victim to cult persecutor and it hurts sooooooo bad. So Cookie Run Kingdom Tower of Sweet Chaos spoilers but it’s unclear what happened to her to make her join, or if she was born into it, or something else, but it *is* clear that she’s completely unaware of modern society outside of the Order and is 100% convinced this is how all Rational And Correct people act (hint: It’s Not) so she acts all confident and rational but she’s actually paranoid as FUCK. She’s constantly quadruple checking every single thing she does, every single thought she has and emotion she feels, to make sure it’s in line with the Order’s expectations of her. She wants that praise and affection SO BAD because everyone’s literally SO connection starved!!! And to make it worse, she’s sent on a mission to purge all the Cakes living around the Oven the Cookies & Cakes were created in, and on it she encounters the overarching antagonists (this is so in depth but it’s literally a micro-plot the lore of this game is INSANE. Sprawling fantasy, political drama, CRK is incredible) and is made aware of the fact (along with the player, whom probably is flipping their shit) that THE COOKIES WERE CREATED BY THE WITCHES SO THEY COULD *EAT THEM.* So her entire life has been shattered but also she’s still under the impression that THIS IS ALL SHE HAS. From her perspective it’s either this or she becomes what she thinks is a terrible horrible evil worst person on Earthbread Ever. So she goes back and she’s like Reverend Mother (real name) I found out the most horrible thing. And her superior is like Ah. *I know.* And she convinces her that she’s learnt some horrifying secret that nobody else can know otherwise it’ll hurt them too, so SHE STAYS AND GETS WORSE. It drives me CRAZY this place is so bad. This is in motherfucking COOKIE RUN KINGDOM. This game is so dark and graphic it’s unreal. Also literally everyone in the Order is a girl for some reason and it’s never explained why??? Do they not recruit men??? If they’re self sufficient what do they do with the men??? Do they kill them??? Do they convince them they’re Actually Just Girls But Different??? Neither would surprise me at this point like actually

hope she explodes

She’s a cookie nun belonging to an order that worships the witches who baked the cookies. She later learns that cookies were baked to be eaten and that all this time she’s been worshipping MONSTERS AND HAS A FAITH CRISIS. RELIGIOUS TRAUMA AF

Inori

I think it's really funny that there's a christian pretty cure. She's the pretty cure of faith (Also btw Hifumi Togo whom I also submitted is from Persona 5. Idk if i remembered to write that)

[animalcrossingshowdown]

finally after one million billion years (four days of work) I've got the furniture set bracket done. most of the work was making graphics that had all the colours. like look at the modern furniture !! that was the worst one, but there were a lot of sets with a lot of colour options. I automated as much as I could, but I still had to mostly arrange them manually and download each image one at a time

this was seeded based on number of submissions, except for sets that got a redesign in ACNH. those got pitted against their classic counterparts round 1 since that's how you guys voted when I asked. If you're wondering why certain sets aren't pitted against their counterpart, it's because the counterpart didn't make it in. for example, the NH version of the spooky series got 6 submissions, but only 1 person submitted the classic version so it didn't make it.

[web-novel-polls]

Five Love Languages of Danmei: Flirting Bracket

Yuling from Everywhere in Jianghu is Wonderful

Characters: Qin Shaoyu and Shen Qianling

Submission:

I'm guessing few people know this couple especially considering good TL was deleted(sob) so first a quick intro: Shen Qianling is an actor from the modern world who transmigrated into a wuxia world. Worst part? The person he transmigrated as is engaged to a man! And the man is a huge weirdo! So Shen Qianling resolves to do everything in his power to break the engagement. You Can Guess How Well That Works Out for the MC of a danmei novel lol So the annoying flirt in question is exactly SQL's husband-to-be, Qin Shaoyu. He's constantly going "wife~" and making dramatic declarations of love... especially in front of others. Shen Qianling is onto his insincere ass! (They're really kinda theater kid x theater kid tbh, both are acting and pretending a lot.) Later it's actually revealed that Qin Shaoyu had a reason to act like that and provoke SQL all the time, but by that time SQL's (lack of) swag has deeply captivated him, so he just goes from annoying flirting(insincere) to annoying flirting(affectionate).

Additional Propaganda: Qin Shaoyu did not annoyingly flirt to the point of giving his (male) fiancé a pregnancy scare to lose the annoying flirt competition (via @verycharismaticdragon)

Carrd Link 

Manhua Screenshots

Liushen from The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Characters: Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan)

Submission: 

SQQ loves to be Constantly Be Annoyingly Flirtatious to his poor, flustered shidi, though the jury is very still out on how much of that is intentional/he is aware he is doing. (Denial is not just a river in Egypt to Shen Yuan.)

["Anti-Propaganda" that attacks other characters is NOT allowed. Please only give reasons to vote FOR a character/ship.]

[pinkacademic]

Girly Teen Sleepover

This is the promised Teen Edition to the previous post. I don’t actually know how many of my followers fall into different age brackets, but I hope this is interesting to some of you! The Ultimate Girly Sleepover is a noble pursuit at any age, after all, so I hope you get some ideas!

Activities

Truth or Dare

Makeovers

Photo Shoot

Never Have I Ever

Quiz

PowerPoint Party

Would You Rather

M.A.S.H

Board Games

Hide and Seek/Sardines (provided your parents are very tolerant!)

Karaoke

Food The same rules apply that getting a pizza delivery is the best option, but if you don’t have your own money, it’s time to get resourceful.

My friend, here’s a tip that you should take into adulthood, honestly: Group fund. With your besties, choose a reliable treasurer, and everyone puts any pocket money etc they might get over the course of a month, say, into the fund- aka the mason jar- and put that towards a delivery of food, maybe some sweets, a discoball if you want, or a group cinema trip.

This works only if you’re all honest,but we’re not here to breed cynicism.

Aside from that

Frozen pizza is usually cheaper, and you can get a margharita and spruce it up yourself

You can get creative with what you have in the kitchen… and what your parents’ allow. Pool your skills as a team

Box brownies are always improved with crunchy m&m’s

10 Sleepover Movies that are Actually About Teenagers

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (Absolutely binge all three, by all means)

Clueless (As IF! this wasn’t going on here)

Mean Girls- 2/3 of my holy trinity made it on here!

Wild Child

Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging

Do Revenge- my modern classic

Grease (even if the cast had the worst age gaps between themselves and their characters)

Heathers

Dirty Dancing

The Breakfast Club

Clearly there are some differences in tone between some of these movies, but you know your friend group better than I do! I could also add to this list forever, so this is in no way comprehensive.

Anyway, I hope some of you took some ideas away from this post, and a bit of inspiration!

[goodomensafterdark]

Writers Guild Presents - All For One And One For All

Written by ukcalico on our subreddit! The accompanying image is a little too saucy for Tumblr, go see it on our subreddit ;)

Based on the above marvel by u/petradrawsGO ‘s summary: Crowley wants to be the best lover possible for Aziraphale and summons his past selves for a little training session. The outcome isn't as fun as he thought...

CW/TW: multiple Crowleys, multiple partners (hint: they’re all Crowley), 6-a-side, gangbang, dopplebanging, spot-roasting, anal, oral, unconstructive criticism, the worst orgy in all of history

Word count: 3k

Read on AO3

Excerpt:

Of course Modern Crowley wishes that they were bracketing the only angel who mattered—but being cool for Aziraphale, knowing what he’s doing for Aziraphale, that’s the whole bloody point.

Without Aziraphale in the picture, this is… absolutely fucking insane.

Mega thanks to u/PetraDrawsGO for the inspiration, and to u/happynachohologram and u/zaay-zaay for extra details and for reassuring me this gold-plated crack isn’t utterly unreadable XD

[the-worst-bracket]

The Worst Bracket Begins!

Polls are going up starting Wednesday, April 19th, 32 per day! Bracket and list under the cut.

Round 1

Bracket A (4/19-26)

Mineta Minoru (My Hero Academia) v  Anglerfish from Dark Bramble (Outer Wilds)

Iago (Othello) v Barbas (Skyrim)

Brendan (Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald) v Mimic (Dark Souls)

Dan (Dan vs) v Pink Diamond (Steven Universe)

Jurgen Litner (The Magnus Archives) v Lily Tucker-Pritchett (Modern Family)

Lonnie Byers (Stranger Things) v Zeus (Greek Mythology)

Lemongrab (Adventure Time) v Steve Cobs (Inanimate Insanity)

Alex Eggleston (Yiik) v Larry Butz (Ace Attorney)

Jerry (Undertale) v Po (Teletubbies)

Billy Hargrove (Stranger Things) v Old Man Who Snitches on Haru (A:TLA)

Kai Winn (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) v Ashfur (Warrior Cats)

Mr. Burns (The Simpsons) v Boscha (The Owl House)

Octavian (Heroes of Olympus) v Makoto Teruhashi (The Disastrous Life of Saiki K)

 Robbie Valentino (Gravity Falls) v Gendo Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Walter White (Breaking Bad) v Guy Mortadello (Papa Louie)

Medusa Gorgon (Soul Eater) v Snowball (Pinky and The Brain)

Bracket B (4/19-26)

Rohan Kishibe (JJBA) v Jin Guangshan (The Untamed)

Agravaine (Merlin) v Michael (Wii Sports)

Scout (TF2) v Mitsuhiro Higa (Danganronpa)

Creek (Trolls) v Berdly (Deltarune)

Manfred Von Karma (Ace Attorney) v Jeff Winger (Community)

Nazeem (Skyrim) v David (Animorphs)

Simon Laurent (Infinity Train) v Mayuri Kurotsuchi (Bleach)

Kikimora (The Owl House) v Cronus Ampora (Homestuck)

Michael Tritter (House MD) v The Director (Red v Blue)

Eridan Ampora (Homestuck) v Lila Rossi (Miraculous Ladybug)

Skadge (Star Wars: The Old Republic) v Lord Henry Wotton (The Picture of Dorian Gray)

Claptrap (Borderlands) v Jodie Foster (Dungeons and Daddies)

Bill Hawks (Professor Layton) v Carcer (Discworld)

Bender Bending Rodríguez (Futurama) v Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!)

 Corrin (Fire Emblem) v The Dark Lord (Miitopia)

Cybelle (Carole and Tuesday) v Jasper (Steven Universe)

Bracket C (4/20-27)

Gul Dukat (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) v Admiral Zhao (A:TLA)

Hordak (She-Ra) v Rachel Berry (Glee)

Book (Battle for Dream Island) v Darth Maul (Star Wars)

Jessica (The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself) v Lester Papadopoulos (Trials of Apollo)

Pong Krell (Star Wars: The Clone Wars) v Aaron Burr (Hamilton)

Armand (Vampire Chronicles) v Gamzee Makara (Homestuck)

Dorodoron (Futari wa Precure Splash Star) v Weiss Schnee (RWBY)

Christopher Taub (House MD) v Tate Landon (America Horror Story: Murder House)

Izzy Hands (OFMD) v Princess Daisy (Super Mario Bros)

Spike (MLP:FIM) v Atlas May (Lackadaisy)

Clutch Powers (LEGO Ninjago) v Orin Scrivello (Little Shop of Horrors)

Thanos (MCU) v Minecraft Skeleton (Minecraft)

Frank Burns (M*A*S*H*) v Lieutenant Nolan (Star Wars: The Bad Batch)

Carter Pewterschmit (Family Guy) v Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)

Miyo Takano (Higurashi When They Cry) v Borsolino (One Piece)

Hiyoko Saionji (Danganronpa) v Pennywise (IT)

Bracket D (4/20-27)

Pierce Hawthorne (Community) v Ren (Ren and Stimpy)

Whirlpool (Wings of Fire) v Cinder Falls (RWBY)

Thaddeus Campbell (Dishonored) v The Grabber (Black Phone)

Takumi Ichinose (Nana) v Heimskr (Skyrim)

Gale Weathers (Scream) v Lee Kiyoung (Regressor Instruction Manual)

Ianthe Tridentarius (The Locked Tomb) v Alvin Marsh (IT)

Director Ton (Aggretsuko) v Angelica Pickles (Rugrats)

Pencil (Battle for Dream Island) v Odalia Blight (The Owl House)

Kyubey (Madoka Magica) v Newman (Seinfeld)

Jacob Hill (Abbott Elementary) v Gregory House (House MD)

Rachel (Tower of God) v Monkey D Luffy (One Piece)

Dame Alina (Keeper of the Lost Cities) v Miki Kawai (A Silent Voice)

John Winchester (Supernatural) v Kyouichi Saionji (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Magikarp (Pokemon) v Hippeux (Animal Crossing)

Elmo (Sesame Street) v Saint Charlos (One Piece)

Melli (Pokemon Legends: Arceus) v Dr. Janet Lubelle (WTNV)

Bracket E (4/21-28)

Martin Blyndeff (Epithet Erased) v The Blue Border (Scott the Woz)

Calico Jack (OFMD) v B.E.N. (Treasure Planet)

Doogal (Doogal) v John Gaius (The Locked Tomb)

Crawlings (The Mysterious Benedict Society) v Liza Lotts (Scott the Woz)

Zolf J Kimblee (FMA) v Baron Draxum (Rise of The TMNT)

Kaito Momota (Danganronpa) v Nandor the Relentless (What We Do In the Shadows)

Logan Roy (Succescion) v Mike Wheeler (Stranger Things)

Fermet (Baccano!) v Seymour Krelborn (Little Shop of Horrors)

Emperor Belos (The Owl House) v Taylor Kelly (9-1-1)

AM (I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream) v Jar Jar Binks (Star Wars)

Stuart Little (Stuart Little) v Vinsmoke Sanji (One Piece)

Bibble (Barbie: Fairytopia) v Dennis Nedry (Jurassic Park)

Byakuya Togami (Danganronpa) v Grima Wormtongue (LOTR)

Moe (Calvin and Hobbes) v Balloon Boy (FNAF)

Felix (Red vs Blue) v Klorgbane the Destroyer (Regular Show)

Bro Strider (Homestuck) v Jughead Jones (Riverdale)

Bracket F (4/21-28)

Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events) v Mort (Madagascar)

Mantle (Dr Stone) v Phillip Anderson (Sherlock)

Eisuke Hondo (Detective Conan) v Drosselmeyer (Princess Tutu)

Hiram Burrows (Dishonored) v Chat Noir (Miraculous Ladybug)

Vriska Serket (Homestuck) v Prince Diamond (Sailor Moon)

Marty (Steven Universe) v Hibiki Shikyouin (PriPara)

White Diamond (Steven Universe) v Norman Osborn (Marvel)

Stregabor (The Witcher) v Cedric Jeanne Elmir (I'm the Villainess, So I'm Taming the Final Boss)

Barney Stinson (HIMYM) v Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural)

Griffith (Beserk) v Chloe Valentine (Be More Chill)

Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim) v Lionel Luthor (Smallville)

Lydia (Skyrim) v Shadow Weaver (She-Ra)

Rand Ridley (Inside Job) v Jun Kawanakajima (Ultra Maniac)

Krusty the Clown (The Simpsons) v Fire Lord Ozai (A:TLA)

Joseph Sugarman (BoJack Horseman) v Huey Emmerich (Metal Gear)

Anti - Pops (Regular Show) v Kylo Ren (Star Wars)

Bracket G (4/22-29)

Ross Geller (Friends) v Akito Sohma (Fruits Basket)

Henry Bowers (IT) v Junko Enoshima (Danganronpa)

Winner Sinclair (Chibi Vampire) v Evil Do-er/Dark Blue (Animation vs Minecraft)

Clint (Stardew Valley) v Luke Castellan (Percy Jackson)

Kokichi Ouma (Danganronpa) v Colin Robinson (What We Do In The Shadows)

Spy (TF2) v Ghetsis (Pokemon)

Billy (The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) v Queen Vanessa (A Hat In Time)

Doofus Drake (Ducktales) v Servantis (Ben 10)

Elias Bouchard (The Magnus Archives) v Francisco Guerra (Paranatural)

Tingle (The Legend of Zelda) v Hawt Saus (Chikn Nuggit)

Trishna (Papa Louie) v Mark Brendanawicz (Parks and Recreation)

Unparalleled Innocence (Rain World) v Morgana (Persona 5)

Lady Gisela Sencen (Keeper of the Lost Cities) v Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)

Suzy Johnston (Phineas and Ferb) v Kaidou Shun (The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.)

Souichi (Junji Ito) v Dr Hotti (Ace Attorney)

Morgoth (LOTR) v Sarah (Ed, Edd, and Eddy)

Bracket H (4/22-29)

Han Sooyoung (Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint) v Barney the Purple Dinosaur (Barney)

Andy Bernard (The Office) v Lars Barriga (Steven Universe)

Dio (Zero Escape) v Caillou (Caillou)

Gideon Gleeful (Gravity Falls) v Balgo (Burn the Witch)

Joshu Higashikata (JJBA) v Toby Flenderson (The Office)

Touga Kiryuu (Revolutionary Girl Utena) v Teledji Adeledji (FFXIV)

Chairman Rose (Pokemon) v Donnel Udina (Mass Effect)

Father (FMA) v Harumi (LEGO Ninjago)

Akio Ohtori (Revolutionary Girl Utena) v Richard (Requiem of the Rose King)

Miranjo (Ranking of Kings) v Kray Foresight (Promare)

Xander Harris (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) v The Worst (Ben 10)

Hisoka Morrow (Hunter x Hunter) v Doc Scratch (Homestuck)

Tony Stark (MCU) v Sakura Horuna (Naruto)

Sir Tristan the Cold (Penumbra Podcast) v Clay Puppington (Morel Orel)

Bling Bling Boy (Johnny Test) v George Constanza (Seinfeld)

Quiche (Tokyo Mew Mew) v Enji Todoroki (My Hero Academia)

[bracketsoffear]

Homer Simpson (The Simpsons) "Not an avatar out of malice so much as laziness and sheer boneheadedness. His incompetence at his nuclear power plant job (an Extinction hallmark if ever there was one) has frequently endangered Springfield, and even destroyed it once or twice. The worst part is, as exaggerated and goofy as Homer is, he's just some guy, not very smart or skilled. We have all been Homer Simpson at some point in our lives. We have simply been lucky enough not to be in an apocalypse-causing situation when we were."

Porky Minch (Earthbound/MOTHER) "His portrayal specifically in MOTHER 3 screams the Extinction to me. He went into the future, in a world that was already wracked by an apocalypse (already Extinction flavored), to make an army and do more Extinction stuff just because he wanted to. He modernized Tazmily village by introducing them to Happy Boxes (technology), causing the once peaceful villagers to be so alienated from another and for the once rural village to be renovated into a modern suburb. He built a structure to destroy the houses of those that doesn't conform to his changes. A lot of the game's enemies are wildlife that has been mutated, stitched together, and/or partially mechanized by his army; all of these explicitly stated and shown by the game to be more aggressive compared to how they naturally were. The final boss of the game is the protagonist's brother, who Porky brought back into an obedient cyborg soldier, on top of also seemingly being killed by a cyborg dinosaur

So we got someone who, for the sake of it, modernized a rural town to the point where its people doesn't recognize each other, and has an army that makes use of heavily altered animals and plants. All on a timeline where the remaining population just survived an apocalypse. Sounds pretty The Terrible Change to me!"

[fairytale-poll]

WORST MODERN ADAPTATION! ROUND 1B, MATCH 1 OUT OF 4!

Once Upon a Time (2011 - 2018) is based off various fairytales; Avalon High (2010) is based off Arthurian legend.

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Once Upon a Time (2011 - 2018):

Only the first season is a decent Snow White adaptation. Once the writers started to try and cram every fairytale character ever into the show it became convoluted as hell

It's a soap opera. It's a family drama. Everyone is related. Frankenstein is there.

Avalon High (2010):

[None Submitted]

[bitter-limelight]

Hi!

Since you're a expert of Daniel, I'm curious does he have an mental illness? For me, while reading it feels like hints through out the books that he does..If so, what do you think its?

Hello anon! I'm always down to pick Daniels brain!

I think first and foremost the obvious answer here is Daniels substance abuse disorder. He's canonly dying of alcoholism so that's pretty striking. Second most obvious is whatever he has going on after he's turned and through till modern day. I don't subscribe to the new theories that Marius can't be trusted and Daniel was never sick. To me that's pretty ableist to deny that Daniel was obviously very ill, and from QOTD onward, way before trains, though since we're speaking of a madness that seems specific to vampires I'm not sure what I would call it. An obsessive disorder?

I also put forward the idea that Daniels mental state deals a lot with trauma. He's a queer man having grown up in America in the fifties and sixties, where being queer was categorized as a mental illness. He would have been prime age to be one of the last brackets called to serve in Vietnam. The cold war was A Thing, growing up under the threat of annihilation. They're the worst fucking generation but boomers went through some shit man. Then of course there's the trauma of Armand just.....being Armand, being "born to darkness in the midst of a storm-" I would say Daniel very likely has PTSD, perhaps even c-ptsd due to the repeated and ongoing issues.

I see Daniel as often depressed or anxious but not specifically having depression of anxiety, as an aside. To me he has a lot of irl reasons to be depressed/anxious as opposed to clinically so, which doesn't need to have an outside reason. Addiction, and trauma are my armchair diagnosis for Daniel but I'm definately not a doctor. But Daniel also isn't real so we can read into him whatever we want actually!

What do you think?

[mantisgodsdomain]

For the choose violence ask game: 5, 24, and... 16.

(Choosing Violence)

5. worst discord server and why

Listen we have a VERY SOLID answer for this one specifically for BF but we have been in some Very Bad Discord servers over the years. Fandomless, it would have to be [server we were in that gradually devolved into something that counted as a cult by BITE model] or [pokemon server we were in once where a guy called us a faggot for saying that he was getting way too worked up over random NPCs blocking the path]. For current-fandom servers... we're like 70% sure that it we name it it'll get back to the One Specific Guy that made it so very miserable to Be There but uhh

We were once in a BF server which was actively hostile to human life in a way that slowly crept fingers into your skin until it hampered your capacity to communicate with other people and it may have had lasting impact in making us significantly more reactive to people having certain takes on The Hive because we got used to not being able to bring it up in any even remotely negative context without One Specific Guy appearing to tell us not to slander the hive like that.

We are still working on undoing that particular damage but The Hive is one of those places where we find it VERY hard to be even remotely charitable about them because they Suck Very Hard in a way we're personally familiar with so it's likely that the best we're going to get there is, like, "comfortable enough to write a very long essay on how the structures seen present in the hive would harm its inhabitants".

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

...we're pretty sure that having any opinion at all in the Rain World fandom opens you up to being shot on sight? Like, we're not affiliated with the fandom as a whole anymore, but we're WAY too familiar with their Attitude towards takes. Part of the reason we don't participate anymore, actually.

In all seriousness, this is one we've posted about Recently, actually! Every time someone brings up Vi's age and how it's handled in-game, it tends to kick up the WORST discourse. Like, every time, it tends to devolve into a lot of, like... people who have Strong Opinions on What A Child Should Be and a lot of arguing about, like. "if you think she's Not A Kid then it's because you're a creep" and whatever.

We're well aware we've contributed to this, as we have strong feelings on the matter, but we may not be The Best at cohering them into speech - we don't really have the proper tools vocabulary-wise to fully cohere how we feel on the matter, so we tend to just stay away, even if it sucks to see people being Wrong On The Internet.

For our opinion... we've said this before, but we don't really think that a Discord post from 2019 should be taken as gospel for this, and we REALLY don't think that being 17 should mean she should be, like, treated the same as a twelve-year-old or something similar.. A lot of people, to be quite honest, act REALLY WEIRD about this, and we have VERY little patience for the infantilization that crops up constantly in these conversations for reasons we've mostly already stated in aforementioned Recent Post.

It's the sort of thing where, were it any other situation, referring to Vi as A Child would just vaguely annoy us with the modern internet's complete and total lack of any categories between "cute innocent child" and "totally 100% responsible adult" and make us mark someone as a sort of guy we're Very Much not interested in engaging with, as she's Very Obviously aged out of the bracket where she SHOULD be being called a kid, but with the situation as is it makes us lose our mind because Holy Shit, Have You Not Seen The Same Scenes As Us, There Is Baggage Attached To That Word You Have Clearly Not Thought Through.

We wish that this territory of fandom sucked Less. Unfortunately, we occasionally click on works that make us feel like we've just reached into a Get Attacked By Monkeys Box. That is a young adult who commits tax evasion. Please don't treat a woman who worked at a factory for years and was a known patron of an underground bar like she's an eight-year-old who doesn't know what sex is. We've been through this with Papyrus and we really don't want to do it again.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

WHAT is the appeal of Modern Without Magic??? Why the fuck would we ever want a Human AU of anything??? Why is this a genre??? Why are normal human high school AUs a thing why is it so appealing to reduce characters that used to be something Interesting down to Human High School Guy #627482 we don't understand

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 3 - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket)

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

Propaganda below ⬇️

Akane

Ok miss “only God decides who lives and who dies” who recently killed several dozen people across multiple timelines. I love her so much.

i genuinely don’t know how she ended up christian. she was raised almost exclusively by her big brother and that bitch *definitely* doesn’t believe in any god. they’re not even in a christian majority country. she spent nine years executing an elaborate time travel (kinda. long story.) scheme to prevent her from being murdered at 12 and still apparently believes in god

I guess Akane’s religion is debatable , she talks about God a few times throughout the series but also acknowledges that God couldn’t be real because she is above it/she has been through so much trauma that she has lost faith in the idea. I personally think she could also be Jewish as some of her theological ideals are a bit closer to that but she makes no mention of Judaism or Jewish law and that is simply a hc

she was described by the creator once as “i tried to write the worst possible female protagonist” and shes everything to me. there is literally no other character like akane kurashiki, NOBODY is doing it quite like her, shes unhinged and i adore her. one time she gaslit her love interest into thinking men get pegged As A Constant by intentionally misunderstanding what he was saying about elevator travel.

women will kill like at least 3 people at most 22 to 6 billion people [depending on your rules] and then turn to god and ask him what he did to look away in disgust at you

Gloria

no propaganda some I'll just include

"When did Catholics become so judgmental?" hahahah

Gloria stealing the twins to get the secretly baptized is so funny to me. My auntie stole me as a baby to get my ears pierced. Just latino things

[theleakypen]

Fic Writer Interview Game

Thank you for the tag (almost 2 years ago) @gusu-emilu!

I am tagging literally anybody who sees this and wants to play :D

name: Puck

fandoms: multifandom! although Untamed/MDZS continues to be my main

two-shots: I never understand this question but it looks like it means to rec your own two-chapter fics so here we go: Stories More Beautiful Than Answers (CQL, Mianmian gets to meet Jin Ling post-canon) and Rhûnlanders (I published it as a series of 2 separate fics, but it's basically 1 thing: Songxiao in Middle Earth - Xiao Xingchen is an Elf and Song Zichen is a Man, both from Rhûnland so they're still Asian)

most popular multi-chapter fic: Obviously Yunmeng In-Laws (my and @iamwestiec's CQL modern AU groupchat fic which had bafflingly runaway success) has to be the answer to this. But if we're only going by ones written solely by me, it's But, After All, I Am A Wen (incomplete Wen Qing canon divergence wherein she actually takes and uses the comb Jiang Cheng gave her to commit treason and save her family's lives)

actual worst part of writing: having the fucking brain space to fucking write, fuck. it's been really hard bc i have so many other obligations and they eat my brain so even if i have ideas i can't get them to turn into prose :(

how you choose your titles: in order of likelihood: first, quote from the fic itself; joint second place, something kinda descriptive of the fic or lines from a poem or song

do you outline? not generally. I did outline my multichapter Wen Qing fic bc it's so much more ambitious than anything else i've ever worked on and I occasionally do something resembling in an outline in the doc of my one shots when i know what happens in the sections but don't have the prose yet; it's usually, like, a series of bracketed statements.

ideas you probably won't get around to, but wouldn't it be nice? oh god so many lmao. i have an entire channel in my writing discord that is just these ideas. One idea I have is a Songxiao no eye transfer AU because BSSR doesn't open the mountain back up to XXC and how they have to deal with that. Also I have yet to write any Witcher fic but I've been playing Witcher 3 and I really wanna write a Vesemir POV fic that's 5+1 "5 times Geralt sent some random-ass stranger to Kaer Morhen and 1 time he came home" inspired by all the times in Witcher 3 when you can help someone and then be like "Oh yeah you'd be welcome at Kaer Morhen"

spicy tangential opinion: not that spicy but i wish more people would comment, especially on the smaller/less popular fics. i see your kudos! it makes me happy! but i'd love to know your thoughts if you have any!

callouts @ me: none of my self-callouts are writing-related, it's all just - clean your room, go the fuck to sleep, you're not a teenager any more and your body hurts less when you do basic life maintenance tasks. (honestly i'd probably also write better/more if i did basic life maintenance tasks so it counts lol)

best writing traits: Westie once said I'm good at making soft things hurt and I hold that compliment close to my heart <3

[web-novel-polls]

Five Love Languages of Danmei Tournament Submissions

Submissions are now closed

Submit a Danmei ship here under one or more of the Five Love Languages:

Constantly Being Annoyingly Flirtatious

Biting

Giving Him a Raging Boner

Cooking a Large Meal

Desperate Pining for a long-ass time

Each love language will have its own bracket with a short, final round between the bracket winners.

Tag: #danmei love languages tournament

Not sure who to submit? Feel free to add some propaganda for the CPs below the cut!

(CW: spoilers, biting, suggestive language, colored text, murder, swearing)

[Last Updated: Jan. 2nd, 2024]

*Dealer's Choice (tentative)

1. Constantly being Annoyingly Flirtatious (5)

Wenzhou from Faraway Wanderers

Characters: Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu

Submission:

Mostly Wen Kexing (he's so continuously on it it's hard to pick a scene), but it reaches the true peak annoyingness once Zhou Zishu starts to flirt back. That one time Ye Baiyi was so peeved with them he literally told them to go fuck each other or shut up...

Huangkou from You Yi / Itinerant Doctor

Characters: Huang Jinchen and Kou Tong

Carrd Link

Submission:

Their first "meeting" is them killing a guy together with HJC doing the murder and Kou Tong over the comms helping him figure out which guy is the guy they need to kill. The comms cut after the fighting starts, and then basically a minute later HJC calls Kou Tong back with "Let me just ask, handsome, can you tell me your personal contact information?"  Then when they meet for real its soooo bad (affectionate). My favorites were Huang Jinchen embarrassing Kou Tong in front of his dead mom (long story) to pay him back for teasing him, and Kou Tong replying to Huang Jinchen asking him out with "whatever there is to discuss, we'll discuss in bed". Theyre such clowns

Yuling from Everywhere in Jianghu is Wonderful

Characters: Qin Shao Yu and Shen Qian Ling

Carrd Link (No Characters section)

Submission:

I'm guessing few people know this couple especially considering good TL was deleted(sob) so first a quick intro: Shen Qianling is an actor from the modern world who transmigrated into a wuxia world. Worst part? The person he transmigrated as is engaged to a man! And the man is a huge weirdo! So Shen Qianling resolves to do everything in his power to break the engagement. You Can Guess How Well That Works Out for the MC of a danmei novel lol So the annoying flirt in question is exactly SQL's husband-to-be, Qin Shaoyu. He's constantly going "wife~" and making dramatic declarations of love... especially in front of others. Shen Qianling is onto his insincere ass! (They're really kinda theater kid x theater kid tbh, both are acting and pretending a lot.) Later it's actually revealed that Qin Shaoyu had a reason to act like that and provoke SQL all the time, but by that time SQL's (lack of) swag has deeply captivated him, so he just goes from annoying flirting(insincere) to annoying flirting(affectionate).

Liushen from SVSSS

Characters: Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan)

Submission: 

SQQ loves to be Constantly Be Annoyingly Flirtatious to his poor, flustered shidi, though the jury is very still out on how much of that is intentional/he is aware he is doing. (Denial is not just a river in Egypt to Shen Yuan.)

Wangxian from MDZS

Characters: Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian

2. Biting (7)

Wenzhou from Faraway Wanderers

Characters: Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu

Submission:

Chapter 63 my beloved... there is a super significant and intimate scene where Wen Kexing bites Zhou Zishu's wrist, drinks his blood, and then rips up his own clothes to dress the injury. And then they cuddle to sleep on the bloodied sheets. It's such a good scene okay. Also it ends with my favorite line in the novel: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the scent of blood." Wenzhou thesis statement fr fr.

Cezhou from Qiang Jin Jiu

Characters: Shen Zechuan / Shen Lanzhou and Xiao Chiye / Xiao Ce’an

Carrd Link

Submission 1: 

Literally the second time they meet (the first being Xiao Chiye almost killing him) Shen Zechuan bites Xiao Chiye's hand so hard it leaves a permanent scar

Submission 2:

I love their feral bastards energy in general but I knew I was in for a good time when Shen Zechuan fucking chomped on Xiao Chiye's hand super early on in the novel. Meet cute: giving him a scar to remember you by (i think it wasn't their first meeting, but its the spirit of thing)

Image Link 1, Image Link 2, Image Link 3, (NSFW–>) Image Link 4

Zhaowen from Tu Fei Gong Lue / The Bandit’s Strategy

Characters: Zhao Yue and Wen Liunian

Submission:

So I know the translation isn't there yet (the TL isn't even up to them getting together they're slow-burny like that...) but after they do get together and after Wen Liunian gets over Some Stuff, it's mentioned several times that he bites Zhao Yue when they fuck. Then again, if I had a man with big pretty badonkers, I would also chomp on that shit...

Bingqiu from SVSSS

Characters: Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan)

Submission: 

Shen Qingqiu mentions several times that Luo Binghe kissing him feels like he's trying to bite his lips off... it counts, right?..

Xiyuan from Qi Ye/Lord Seventh

Characters: Jin Beiyuan and Wu Xi

Submission: 

- Wu Xi famously kisses (mauls) Jing Beiyuan's like an untrained puppy, biting his lips - Wu Xi wants to Chomp and Bite. This is how he shows his love <3 - Wu Xi drew blood when biting Jing Beiyuan. And liked it

*Cang Ji x Jing Lin from Nan Chan

A significant part of the novel occurs while Cang Ji is under the impression that he wants to eat Jing Lin because then he can be together with him forever - “It doesn’t matter if I’m the one. As long as I’m together with you.” He also bites Jing Lin more than once to receive spiritual powers. 

Chapter 25:

Cang Ji teased him. “Is Cang Ji good?” Jing Lin hesitated for a moment, then shook his head hard. “He’s always biting me. No.” Cang Ji laughed aloud and said, “Then what should we do? He will definitely bite you again in the future.” “Then.” Jing Lin replied in all seriousness. “Bite me gently.”

No Propaganda

Wangxian from MDZS

Characters: Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian

3. Giving Him a Raging Boner (4)

Bingqiu from SVSSS

Characters: Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan)

Submission:

1) Poor teenage Luo Binghe having to dunk himself into a freezing pond in winter because his hot teacher hugged him  2) Holy Mausoleum coffin scene. This is all.

Hualian from TGCF

Characters: Hua Cheng and Xie Lian

Submission:

the coffin scene 🙏 and it's Xie Lian's first boner in 800 years poor guy

Needs Propaganda

Cezhou from Qiang Jin Jiu

Characters Shen Zechuan/Lanzhou and Xiao Chiye/Ce’an

I barely started this story before getting distracted, but I have heard SO much about their unhinged sexual teasing/tension. 

QJJ Carrd Link

No Propaganda

*Mo Xi x Gu Mang from Yuwu

4. Cooking a Large Meal (4)

Bingqiu from SVSSS

Characters: Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan) 

One of Luo Binghe’s main hooks as a stallion novel protagonist (that gets him a giant harem) is his cooking. It’s so delicious Shen Qingqiu, who wants to avoid “wife plots,” can’t help but have him cook for him. 

Submission:

Luo Binghe's love language is literally cooking! He starts making Shen Qingqiu's meals as a teenager, then makes him three meals a day for the 5 years Shen Qingqiu is dead, and ofc cooks for him regularly after they get together. Binghe's congee might as well be a symbol of their love at this point!

Wenzhou from Faraway Wanderers

Characters: Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu

Submission:

New Year's Celebration chapter my beloved! Anyw yeah Wen Kexing malewifes it up so hard in this one. He cooks a whole feast, he flirts over it ("When one eats, one should eat something handmade by a human being. It has soul and flavor to it, and it might even have love… When you taste it later tonight, you’ll be able to tell”), he puts food into Zhou Zishu's bowl, it's all soooo sweet and domestic!

Moshang from SVSSS 

Characters: Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua

Submission:

noodles! hand-pulled! he'll make them!!!

Liu Qi and Bai Chuan from The Right Way to Offer a Sacrifice to The River God

Submission: 

Liu Qi x Bai Chuan is a "masterful cook x ultimate foodie" couple. Not only is Liu Qi an amazing cook, his cooking is actually what first draws Bai Chuan to him.  To quote: "Not long later, Liu Qi served up two dishes of home-cooked food. Tomatoes and scrambled egg, vegetables stir-fried with smoked meat, and a large bowl of fish soup."  And then, a few paragraphs later: "Liu Wi once again entered the kitchen and made two bowls of noodles, added in two eggs, and topped it with a few slices of cooked beef."  And then: "Liu Qi rolled his eyes at Bai Chuan's antics and asked, 'What do you still want to eat? Want me to add in another dish of fried prawns?'"   And so on. Bai Chuan, being the river god, brings in all the seafood they want for Li Qi to cook: "With a shake of his sleeves, a heap of seafood that could be found in the river came out from his sleeves, making pitter-patter sounds when they landed on the floor as they were still alive and jumping around energetically. Frantically, Liu Qi called out for him to stop so he could use a small basin to pick up the prawns. The remaining fish and crabs were stored in a bamboo basket for their next meal."   Even better, they split the chores! Bai Chuan uses his river god-powers to act as a magical dishwasher after Liu Qi's done cooking. Peak domestic. What harmony.

Translation Link

5. Desperate Pining for a long-ass time (11)

Hualian from TGCF

Characters: Hua Cheng and Xie Lian

Submission:

Hua Cheng has been in love with Xie Lian for 800 years before he could ever approach him as a possible romantic partner

Mingqian from Liu Yao

Characters: Yan Zhengming and Cheng Qian 

Liu Yao Carrd Link

Submission:

"A hundred years, Cheng Qian! A mortal's lifetime would've passed just like that"  Poor single mother Yan Zhengming keeping the family alive because SOMEONE couldn't stay alive... The way Han Tan was able to recognize Cheng Qian because YZM kept drawing portraits of him... The fucking. slappy ring. Anyw yeah Yan Zhengming be pinin'

Bingqiu from SVSSS 

Characters: Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan)

Submission:

Luo Binghe spends roughly 11 years pining for Shen Qingqiu before Shen Qingqiu gets a clue about his feelings. This includes 2-3 years in the Abyss and 5 years Shen Qingqiu has been dead. But the pining never stopped!

Not specifically romantic yearning, but Shen Qingqiu holding on to and taking care of Luo Binghe's sword while he was in the abyss, seemingly refusing to admit the "truth" that Luo Binghe was dead? Yeah, Shen Qingqiu was definitely feeling emotions he was not ready to acknowledge imo

Moshang from SVSSS 

Characters: Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua

Submission 1:

They've known each other since teens and well into their thirties before getting together. And it's difficult to tell for MBJ, but Shang Qinghua had considered him his ideal man the entire time! 

Submission 2:

Airplane has been pining for MBJ since /before the universe was even created/… he has pined for him desperately and also just been desperate in general for two (2!) lifetimes, not to mention that MBJ has been trusting in and helping sqh out since basically the very first time they met as TEENAGERS and now they are like… At Least 50,, probably older to be honest .

Liushen from SVSSS

Characters: Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan)

Submission: 

Want Desperate Pining for a Long-Ass Time in spades? LQG not only spends ✨five years✨ daily fighting to get SQQ’s body back and lay him to rest, he’s also on full on Be SQQ’s Uber and Return All Fans to him before that little temporary human mortality hiccup for ages before that

Yuesong from Mistakenly Saving the Villain

Characters: Song Qingshi and Yue Wuhuan

Submission: 

First, you get Song Qingshi spending 1,350 lifetimes falling in love with and trying over and over again to rescue Yue Wuhuan. (His 1,351st attempt finally succeeds! Yay! Also, *holy shit*.) Then things happen to Song Qingshi, and you get Yue Wuhuan spending 3,000 years waiting for Song Qingshi to reincarnate. And then the lore drops, and you find out that then-newly-ascended-stone Song Qingshi had already been mesmerized by Phoenix-God Yue Wuhuan ten thousand years before the story started. And *then* the background of the universes' worldbuilding is revealed, and you realize that Yue Wuhuan had actually been waiting for Song Qingshi for literally hundreds of millions of years, long before these two ever even had human forms. You want "long-ass time"? Here's your long-ass time. (And on that note, if you enjoy MXTX books and want to read something that's an unholy mixture of SVSSS and TGCF cranked up to 100000%, please read MisVil.)

Novel Updates Link

Xiyuan from Qi Ye/Lord Seventh

Characters: Jin Beiyuan and Wu Xi

Submission: 

- Wu Xi waited for a whole year for Jing Beiyuan to return to the capital, and each day of it waited at a pavilion outside the city, just in case he happened to return that very day. Each day. For 365 days. - When he returned, Wu Xi gave Jing Beiyuan a jade ring, which in tradition meant that Jing Beiyuan would be betrothed to him. This was when they were both teenagers - Does Wu Xi tell Jing Beiyuan this? No. He simply gives a token of his love & affection and doesn't dare tell him yet, just pines - Ends up in his 20s when he finally, actually tells him the meaning of the ring and confesses 

Submission 2:

Additional Xiyuan propaganda: If we're counting Wu Xi's life as the Soulhook Envoy, then there's also the "several endless centuries" where he watched Jing Qi as he did his duties while Jing Qi never looked back at him, plus another 63 years that Jing Qi spent by that rock.

*Ranwan from 2ha 

Characters: Chu Wanning x Mo Ran

"To yearn unwittingly breaks the willow branch." - Ji Baihua to Mo Weiyu 

Chapter 150: 

"The two of them had misunderstood each other so deeply in their past life that they were separated by a huge abyss. Therefore, in their lifetime, they had used their blood to water the abyss into a sea of blood and swam towards each other. However, because of a barrier, they could not see each other's surging emotions, and could only allow their love to flood by itself."   

Mo Ran and Chu Wanning pined for each other in two lifetimes - one of which Mo Ran wasn’t even aware of his feelings for the majority for it. 

*Wen Xuan x Jian Yi from Let’s Talk About That Guy Who Transmigrated to Pursue Me

NU Description: 

“After dinner for leisure, many people would use a mocking tone of disdain to discuss your disastrous life. But no one knew how you survived through all those years. No one saw how you struggled to hold on to your principles in your lonesome. No one cared about the suffering you experienced and your perseverance. But I saw it. I know. I care.” “That’s why I came to this world. To become your support.”

Need Propaganda

Wangxian from MDZS

Characters: Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian

Lan Wangji was prepared to spend his life in mourning until Wei Wuxian came back to life around 13 years after his death. 

Qijiu from SVSSS

Characters: Shen Jiu / Original Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan