#workplace misogyny

[thatbadadvice]

Help! I'm a Perfect Genius, but This Potential Employer Asked Me a Boring Interview Question!

Ask A Manager, 13 Feb 2024:

I was rejected from a role for not answering an interview question. I had all the skills they asked for, and the recruiter and hiring manager loved me. I had a final round of interviews — a peer on the hiring team, a peer from another team that I would work closely with, the director of both teams (so my would-be grandboss, which I thought was weird), and then finally a technical test with the hiring manager I had already spoken to. (I don’t know if it matters but I’m male and everyone I interviewed with was female.) The interviews went great, except the grandboss. I asked why she was interviewing me since it was a technical position and she was clearly some kind of middle manager. She told me she had a technical background (although she had been in management 10 years so it’s not like her experience was even relevant), but that she was interviewing for things like communication, ability to prioritize, and soft skills. I still thought it was weird to interview with my boss’s boss. She asked pretty standard (and boring) questions, which I aced. But then she asked me to tell her about the biggest mistake I’ve made in my career and how I handled it. I told her I’m a professional and I don’t make mistakes, and she argued with me! She said everyone makes mistakes, but what matters is how you handle them and prevent the same mistake from happening in the future. I told her maybe she made mistakes as a developer but since I actually went to school for it, I didn’t have that problem. She seemed fine with it and we moved on with the interview. A couple days later, the recruiter emailed me to say they had decided to go with someone else. I asked for feedback on why I wasn’t chosen and she said there were other candidates who were stronger. I wrote back and asked if the grandboss had been the reason I didn’t get the job, and she just told me again that the hiring panel made the decision to hire someone else. I looked the grandboss up on LinkedIn after the rejection and she was a developer at two industry leaders and then an executive at a third. She was also connected to a number of well-known C-level people in our city and industry. I’m thinking of mailing her on LinkedIn to explain why her question was wrong and asking if she’ll consider me for future positions at her company but my wife says it’s a bad idea. What do you think about me mailing her to try to explain?

Sir,

You have been wronged in the most grievous of ways by a coven of retaliatory, self-aggrandizing women who have failed in the extreme to recognize your brilliance, your talent, and above all, your general superiority.

Of course you should mail this mediocre "grandboss" on LinkedIn to inform her of the deep offense she caused you by interviewing you in the first place, let alone doing so using a boring question — indeed, you have a moral and professional obligation to do so in order to preserve your honor and the honor of scores of men like you who have never done a single solitary thing wrong in their lives, ever.

But I beg you to consider doing more. A single, private message to one incompetent bitch may not convey to the necessary parties the depth and breadth of the situation. Many, many people have important lessons to learn from your experience, and I encourage you to share it widely. Consider making a public LinkedIn post, and ensure that it is shareable across platforms. Depending on your financial resources, a billboard with your name, professional headshot, and contact information could go a long way toward ensuring that everyone in your industry who needs to know just how you handled the way these women treated you, does know about it. I hope that in your continuing job search, you are able to connect with potential employers who have a much better grasp of all you bring to the table.

[clericsparrow]

Something I've noticed throughout various retail jobs I've worked is the difference in how staff are treated by management based on gender. Even when management are female, I still notice that more is expected out of women than men. The men get away with not pulling their weight, meanwhile a woman will simply stop and ask her coworker how her weekend was and get scolded for talking and told to get back to work. Men can get away with barely even looking at customers they're serving, whereas women will be perfectly polite and friendly, but get told off for not smiling enough. I've seen male coworkers get promoted despite literally doing nothing but fuck around with other men we work with all day, meanwhile, their female coworkers end up picking up their slack. If they don't, then they're usually getting blamed for stuff not getting done because management expect so much more out of women than they do men.

An example I can think of is the time I had two coworkers who liked to go out partying all the time. Management thought the man coming in hungover and late to every shift was endearing. He never got reprimanded for it. Even when he'd show up two hours late it was okay because "that's just what he's like!" Meanwhile, the female coworker who went out partying would show up on time, be a little hungover but would still do anything that was asked of her, and she was always presentable. Yeah, she got fired for coming in hungover.

Or another one I remember is when a male coworker was on extended sick leave. Management were so worried for him and constantly checking in to make sure he was doing well. A female coworker got diagnosed with a neurological condition and needed some time off work while she adjusted to her medication. She was called dramatic, attention seeking, and no one bothered to check in with how she was doing.

Even on our breaks we aren't free from these weird double standards. I always got snide comments about eating processed food on my break. I'd constantly have people in my ear saying it's bad for me and told I would ruin my body if I kept eating like that (ironically I had a restrictive eating disorder at the time, so I was damaging my body, just not really in the way they were thinking I was). Most of my male coworkers would have eaten similar things, but no one made any comments on their dietary choices.

It's just so insane to me that people pretend that workplace misogyny is a thing of the past, when it very clearly isn't. Male mediocrity gets celebrated, while hard working women never get any recognition.

[nerdby]

I found one of my favorite movies on Hulu.

The Devil Wears Prada.

I'm kinda really insecure about admitting how much I like the movie because my ex said that having an interest in fashion made me seem shallow. And I don't like worship fashion designers or anything. I mean, it'd be cool to own designer clothes and stuff just cause....Well, the only designer anything I've ever owned was pair of like Sketchers or whatever. The entire time I've lived on my own the most I've ever paid for a single piece of clothing was that wasn't sneakers was $80USD.

But what I like about fashion is just the psychological aspects of color theory and self-expression through clothing. And what I like about the movie is that its a commentary on workplace misogyny and how fucked up it is that people assume women who are business leaders must be pure evil whereas male business leaders are perceived as charismatic and charming.

Jfc, I wish I knew how to explain this without sounding like a fucking bootlicker.

Anyway, I'm gonna try to watch it tonight for the first time in years so....Wish me luck or whatever.

[littlesistersti]

The fascinating part is when she said one of the reasons why they’re best friends is when she told him of his faults (regarding the workplace sexism) he listened to her and improved himself. Compare that to their boss when told of this problem.

Ps. Read her Pinkwashing article, semi-sequel or slice of life (but it’s not pretty) of the above article

[undergroundmotherroad-blog]

New Year, Same Old Bullshit - Tales of a Bad Manager

I've been trying to figure out what my bad boss wants, but I made a new year's resolution to stop giving a shit about what he wants and focus on myself.

My boss is a sack of shit, as a manager of people he fails epically to develop anything other than antipathy. For all the knowledge he has about our company business, he lacks it exponentially in people skills and communication. I’ve been trying to figure out what he wants, but I am making a new year’s resolution to stop giving a shit about what he wants and focus on myself. Continue reading…

[blorbocedes]

nico: we shouldn't be complaining. we have the air con right on us, it's pretty awesome 😊

crofty: we can FEEL the WARMTH coming off you. you're like a Pirelli tyre that's just done a qualifying session 🥵

nico: ... 🧍

helppp why did crofty just say nico's an omega in heat... what is this workplace nico has to endure during commentary 😣😖

[the-owl-tree]

"can women have children and a career? erin hunter, author of a long running book series aimed at children, boldly declares for the fifth time in the series: no."

[feelingemotjons]

Seriously fuck mr beast and anyone who still defends him. There are no “good” or “nice” rich people. Mr beast doesn’t actually give a fuck about people nor care for them as much as he claims he does. I really hope he does not get away with this shit because this is not okay

[girlschasinggirls]

she was still so polite..

[gonzofromspace]

came to tumblr for some quality rivals content and all I'm seeing is Declan thirst posts i love an 80s stache as must as the next guy so I can forgive it and people genuinely very pro taggie x rupert

on my hands and knees begging for someone to talk about Lizzie or Maud in that last episode

[magicalgrimm]

I’m honestly pretty surprised that nobody’s made a mouthwashing AU where Anya confides in daisuke because I feel like if there’s anyone on that ship who would’ve protect her it probably would’ve been the youngest guy there who’s more interested in newer ways of thinking (at least I’m assuming liberalism is on the rise in this universe like it is here).

[perenlop]

confused by the people going “polle represents jimmy’s fear of the company giving him consequences for assaulting anya” because like. why would the pony express give a shit when they’re a cartoonishly horrible company? do you think theyd take sexual abuse seriously when they enable it to happen in the first place via unlocked sleeping quarters? i got the impression that jimmy was more concerned about societal consequences and physical proof of his abuse and the expectation that he needs to take responsibility for it, than about the pony express taking action against him.

[midnightbrightside]

It is my firm belief that the Kristoph wears shirts that are too big him to hide his snatched waist.

I totally believe like John Melaney, he’s got them feminine hips, so wears clothes that don’t fit so he can be “taken seriously”

He makes himself look ugly cause he’s too afraid and insecure to be the pretty little bitch he is

kristoph gavin is the first man to experience misogyny in the workplace so true

[blorbocedes]

Blorbie I have a question about Nico because I’m still trying to learn all the lore and something I’ve noticed is that there were (and still are) lots of Lewis fans who like to claim that Nico was fairly disliked by the rest of the grid during his time in the sport and I feel like that’s easily disputable and I’d love your thoughts. I saw this post** and was quickly like ‘huh…’ because I’d not really looked into those claims further before but surely the fact that like half the grid constantly shared flights with him means they were friendly, no? I mean sure you could argue they just wanted free flights but everyone seemed to get along with him just fine, it seemed he was definitely involved in the banter and everything from the videos he posted during that time. I also noticed from scrolling back years that he seemed to be one of the few drivers who Kimi usually laughed with, Jenson was obviously good friends with him, I always got the sense Daniel got on really well with him and despite what sewis fans might have people believe, I always thought Seb liked him too. So is this just another example of the LH fans agendas going unchecked and taken as gospel? Did I simply fall victim to the anti-Nico propaganda? 😔

** https://www.tumblr.com/sweetpeapoppy/685938060693749760

did you fall victim to propaganda? yeah lol.

there's presscon pictures of nico looking 😶😐 while lewis and seb are giggling, probably bc nico has been asked for the 30th time that day if he enjoys losing to lewis/does he have it in him to beat him, and people extrapolate off that, that nico is a no fun frigid bitch (unlike the fun loving 4x wdc german seb) who everyone hated, cause he was too busy being jealous and evil. and mind you, this is a narrative that was peddled by sky as well, the cold clinical unfeeling numbers obsessed German, and so a lot of people's 2016 recollections is skewed by this

gif by @teandkimi

there you go. the power of narratives!

and the context to these photos

[erebusvincent]

This reminds me of a post I saw about hoping the outcome of the election takes us back to 1863, when women didn’t have to work.

Women absolutely worked in 1863, you unmitigated moron. Insane that women today are ignorant of the fact that women not working was limited to the upper class throughout history and is a recent invention for everyone else to justify kicking women out of the workforce post-WWII.

Also there was a fairly famous war going on that year.

[lesbiancolumbo]

if you’ve ever “wondered” why i get on such a soapbox about industry sexism, consider that my entire career in that field which was not short i never had any creative or higher-ranking positions that paid well, because every time i advocated for/applied for one they gave it to a man over me, and in more than one instance it was the man i literally mentored. so.