#many women dress down in the workplace to avoid being looked at by male colleagues bc of this very reason

[midnightbrightside]

It is my firm belief that the Kristoph wears shirts that are too big him to hide his snatched waist.

I totally believe like John Melaney, he’s got them feminine hips, so wears clothes that don’t fit so he can be “taken seriously”

He makes himself look ugly cause he’s too afraid and insecure to be the pretty little bitch he is

kristoph gavin is the first man to experience misogyny in the workplace so true

[freifraufischer]

Warner Bros. TV Group has launched an investigation into allegations of inappropriate behavior by Andrew Kreisberg, an executive producer on the CW shows “Arrow,” “Supergirl,” “The Flash” and “DC’s Legends of Tomorrow,” Variety has learned. Kreisberg, who has been suspended by the studio, has engaged in a pattern of alleged sexual harassment and inappropriate physical contact over a period of years, according to 15 women and four men who have worked with him.

“We have recently been made aware of allegations of misconduct against Andrew Kreisberg,” said Warner Bros. TV Group in a statement to Variety. “We have suspended Mr. Kreisberg and are conducting an internal investigation. We take all allegations of misconduct extremely seriously, and are committed to creating a safe working environment for our employees and everyone involved in our productions.”

Kreisberg strongly denies the allegations in this story.

None of the 19 sources for this story wanted to be named for fear of retaliation. Many of the women are current or former employees in a range of positions on those shows, and they cited fear of retaliation from either Warner Bros., the studio that makes those dramas, or from the companies and individuals associated with those programs.

“We were recently made aware of some deeply troubling allegations regarding one of our showrunners,” said Greg Berlanti and Sarah Schechter, who head Berlanti Productions which oversee Kreisberg’s shows. “We have been encouraging and fully cooperating with the investigation into this by Warner Bros. There is nothing more important to us than the safety and well-being of our cast, crew, writers, producers and any staff. We do not tolerate harassment and are committed to doing everything we can to make an environment that’s safe to work in and safe to speak up about if it isn’t.”

All the men and women who spoke to Variety describe similar incidents of inappropriate touching and endemic sexual harassment; they often told the same stories and corroborated each other’s accounts.

According to sources who either witnessed this behavior or were subjected to it, Kreisberg is accused of frequently touching people without their permission, asking for massages from uncomfortable female staff members, and kissing women without asking. Almost every source cites a constant stream of sexualized comments about women’s appearances, their clothes, and their perceived desirability.

Kreisberg told Variety, “I have made comments on women’s appearances and clothes in my capacity as an executive producer, but they were not sexualized. Like many people, I have given someone a non-sexual hug or kiss on the cheek.” He denies that any inappropriate touching or massages occurred.

None of the sources Variety spoke to reported Kreisberg to Warner Bros. human resources, on the assumption that they would pay a price for that, given how important his position was at the company. “Going to HR never crossed my mind, because it seems like nothing’s been enforced,” one woman says. But as word spread of this story, human resources began interviewing the women on his staff.

Many women said they found the work environment created by Kreisberg to be so hostile and “toxic” that they leave a room when he enters it. Kreisberg reiterated his denial that he gave any staffers unwanted attention.

“I have proudly mentored both male and female colleagues for many years. But never in what I believe to be an unwanted way and certainly never in a sexual way,” he said. But sources paint a different picture.

“The workplace feels unsafe,” one woman says, a sentiment echoed by others. Said another, “He scares people.”

Last year, a high-level female producer who works with Kreisberg brought her concerns about his inappropriate behavior and his harassment of employees to a senior executive at Berlanti Productions, the company owned by mega-producer Greg Berlanti, who oversees all of the series Kreisberg works on. “There was zero response,” this woman says. “Nothing happened. Nothing changed.”

Sources close to Berlanti Productions says Berlanti was never made aware of any allegations about Kreisberg’s behavior, and if he had, he would have directed them to human resources.

A male writer who worked for one of the CW shows Kreisberg has run says, “It was an environment in which women — assistants, writers, executives, directors — were all evaluated based on their bodies, not on their work.”

This male colleague says that he talked to Kreisberg about his behavior a few times, but “it had no impact,” the co-worker says. So the writer came to understand that “sexual harassment and demeaning women was just pervasive there — like white noise in the background,” he says.

This male colleague has known Kreisberg for some time, and about six years ago, he says he also wrote Kreisberg an email to try to get him to change. After these attempts, he says, Kreisberg often would not speak to him for days, or he would ignore what was said.

Asked if any colleague, anyone from Berlanti Productions or anyone from Warner Bros. ever told him that he should not make sexually harassing comments to women, Kreisberg said, “No.”

According to many interviewed by Variety, Kreisberg’s problematic behavior, particularly around women, got worse once he had a great deal of authority as an executive producer on several shows.

“The power went to his head,” says a male writer. “It became clear to me that it would be very dangerous, career-wise, for me to confront him about his behavior.”

Two women say he would talk about how he hired staffers based on their looks, and one quoted him as saying, “You should have seen the other dogs we interviewed for that position.” Kreisberg denies saying this.

“Younger women were constantly belittled and subjected to nasty comments,” says a writer who has worked with Kreisberg.

A high-level producer at a CW show says that a young woman who worked in two successive lower-level jobs was the object of Kreisberg’s “obsessive crush,” and left due to his unwanted attention, an account confirmed by more than a dozen other sources. This former employee did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

Kreisberg says that he has devoted attention to younger staffers “as a mentor, yes, to both men and women. In a sexual way, no.”

One woman who had a professional relationship with Kreisberg says that, after a while, the texts that he was sending her took a turn. “It was clear he wanted more than a work relationship,” this woman says. The situation made her uncomfortable, because she did not want anything other than a professional connection with him.

One male writer says that Kreisberg called him into his office to view footage of a woman who was coming in later that day to audition. In the video, the woman was topless.

“My mind went blank. I don’t know what I said,” says the writer, who notes that Kreisberg was grinning. “But my internal reaction was, ‘Why would you show me this — it’s wildly inappropriate!’ I could not get out of there fast enough.”

Kreisberg says that “in doing research on the internet about a prospective actress, we found that she had a role in a premium cable network show. It was not a X-rated show. We clicked on the video and she was topless.”

A woman reports that when a female co-worker walked into his presence, he said, “Wow, you look so tired that I don’t even want to have sex with you anymore.” The woman’s children were present and heard the remark. Kreisberg denies having said this.

Every source agrees that the staffers who received the harshest treatment were usually women. But men were not immune.

A young male “Arrow”-verse staffer recalls that he one day stopped by to see a female colleague, and leaned down on her desk as he talked to her. Without the man’s knowledge, Kreisberg came in, placed his hands on the man’s posterior and began pretending to have sex with him, saying something like, “Well, if you’re offering.” Kreisberg denies that this occurred.

“He laughed, and we all laughed, but I felt very uncomfortable,” this employee says. “I have never had anyone put their hands on me like that in a work situation. He did it because he feels like he can do whatever he wants.”

One female colleague says that Kreisberg “joked” about waking up next to her, while another junior staffer recounts Kreisberg telling a group of employees, in reference to a work trip involving her and Kreisberg, “What happens in Vancouver, stays in Vancouver.” He once asked an array of women for their bra sizes, says a source, citing an impulse to buy a bra for his wife. Kreisberg denies making these comments.

Another woman says that she was asked, in the presence of one other woman, to lie on Kreisberg’s office floor while he assumed a push-up stance over her. Then he asked her to pretend to choke him.

“It was for research, he said,” according to this employee. “I didn’t feel like I had any right to say, ‘This is weird.’” This woman recounts that he mimed having sex with a copy machine once when she and another woman were in the room. She quit over his behavior and the atmosphere it created.

“It is not uncommon in writer’s rooms that we act out what we want production to film,” Kreisberg says. “There was never any sexual intent or overtones.”

Kreisberg and another high-level male producer, at one point, looked at photos of naked women in the presence of two women, one of whom spoke to Variety. Kreisberg says the photo incident did not happen.

Women say that they avoided having to sit on a couch next to him. Multiple women called that place in the room “the hot seat,” because Kreisberg would keep getting closer and closer to the woman next to him, no matter how many times she moved away from him.

Several sources talked about dressing as plainly as they could; one woman says that she even stopped wearing V-neck shirts. “You would have to watch what you said, what you wore, to try to stop being subjected to sexual innuendo,” says one woman.

“As an assistant in this industry, there’s nowhere for me to go,” recalls one woman who ended up quitting. “So I just took it.”

[trevoriirw639]

15 Terms Everyone in the saboti ieftini Industry Should Know

Do you ever wonder where all the dress rules have gone? Depending on when and where you are on any given business day, the words “distant past” might come to mind. It’s difficult to decide if people don’t know what to wear to work or if they have lost sight of the relevance of appearance to professional success.

The Queen of England is reported to have told Prince Charles, “Dress gives one the outward sign from which people can judge the inward state of mind. One they can see, the other they cannot.” Clearly, she was saying what many people are reluctant to accept; that people judge us by the way we dress. In all situations, business and social, our outward appearance sends a message.

Try going to a busy restaurant at lunchtime. Look around you at what people are wearing and see if you don’t make judgments about who they are, their line of business, their personalities and their competencies. Think about how you feel when you are dressed in your usual business attire as opposed to casual dress. Your choice of business apparel speaks to your professional behavior and credibility. It is important to understand how to dress for business if you wish to promote yourself and your organization in a positive manner,

How you dress depends on four factors: the industry in which you work, the job you have within that industry, the geographic area in which you live; and most importantly, what your client expects to see.

Professional Dress for Men

In men’s clothing, fashion does not change significantly from season to season but business attire is about being professional and not about being fashionable. It’s about presenting yourself in a way that makes your clients feel comfortable and confident with you. Dressing for success is still the rule. The professional businessman should keep in mind these few points when deciding what to wear to work.

Choose a conservative suit in navy, black or gray either pinstripe or solid. The quality of the material speaks as loudly as the color and can make the difference between sleaze and suave.

A solid white or blue dress shirt with long sleeves offers the most polished look. The more pattern and color you add, the more the focus is on your clothing, rather than your professionalism.

Ties should be made of silk or a silk-like fabric. Avoid the cartoon characters and go for simple and subtle if you want to enhance your credibility.

Socks should be calf-length or above. Make sure they match not only what you are wearing, but also each other. A quick glance in good light before heading out the door can save embarrassment later in the day. Check for holes as well if you’ll be going through airport security and removing your shoes.

Shoes should without question be conservative, clean and well polished. Lace-up shoes are the choice over slip-ons or flip flops. Don’t pantofi rieker think for a minute that people don’t notice shoes. Many people will look at your feet before your face.

Belts need to match or closely coordinate with your shoes. Once again, quality counts.

Keep jewelry to a minimum. In a time when men sport gold necklaces, bracelets and earrings, the business professional should limit himself to a conservative watch, a wedding band and maybe his college ring.

Personal hygiene is part of the success equation. Freshly scrubbed wins out over heavily fragranced any day of the week. Save the after-shave for after hours, but never the shave itself.

The finishing touch for the business man is his choice of accessories: briefcase, portfolio and pen. When it comes to sealing the deal, a top of the line suit, a silk tie and a good pair of leather shoes can lose their affect when you pull out the ball point pen you picked up in the hotel meeting room the day before.

Professional Dress for Women

When women entered the workplace in the 1970’s and 1980’s in greater numbers than ever before and began to move into positions which had traditionally been held by men, many of them believed that they needed to imitate male business attire. The result was women showing up at the office in skirted suits or coordinated skirts and jackets with tailored blouses finished off with an accessory item that looked very much like a man’s tie. Happily those days are gone. While the business woman may now wear trousers to work, she does it out of a desire to appear professional and at the same time enjoy the flexibility and comfort that pants offer over skirts. Her goal is no longer to mirror her male colleagues.

The same overall rules apply to women’s work attire as apply to men’s. Business clothing is not a reflection of the latest fashion trend. A woman should be noticed for who she is and her professional skills rather than for what she wears. Her business wear should be appropriate for her industry and her position or title within the industry.

Start with a skirted suit or pants suit for the most conservative look. A skirted suit is the most professional. With a few exceptions, dresses do not offer the same credibility unless they are accompanied by matching jackets.

Skirts should be knee-length or slightly above or below. Avoid extremes. A skirt more than two inches above the knee raises eyebrows and questions.

Pants should break at the top of the foot or shoe. While Capri pants and their fashion cousins that come in assorted lengths from mid-calf to ankle are the latest trend, they are out of place in the conservative business environment.

Blouses and sweaters provide color and variety to woman’s clothing, but they should be appealing rather than revealing. Inappropriate necklines and waistlines can give the wrong impression.

Women need to wear hose in the business world. Neutral or flesh-tone stockings are the best choices. Never wear dark hose with light-colored clothing or shoes. Keep an extra pair of stockings in your desk drawer unless the hosiery store is next door or just down the street from the office.

Faces, not feet, should be the focal point in business so chose conservative shoes. A low heel is more professional than flats or high heels. In spite of current fashion and the sandal rage, open-toed or backless shoes are not office attire. Not only are sandals a safety hazard, they suggest a certain official agenda.

When it comes to accessories and jewelry, less is once again more. Keep it simple: one ring per hand, one earring per ear. Accessories should reflect your personality, not diminish your credibility.

Business attire is different from weekend and evening wear. Investing in a good business wardrobe is an investment in your professional future. For those who think it’s not what you wear but who you are that creates success, give that some more thought. Business skills and experience count, but so does personal appearance and that all-important first impression.

[btsjeonjazz]

A long wait

Jimin x reader

Anon requested: CEO Jimin

I hope you like it, anon~

genre: smut, fluff, angst

word count: 3.7k

Jimin and you had been friends ever since you were able to think. The kindergarten, elementary school, middle and high school you were inseparable. He was a quiet child with high dreams and so were you, except for the time you spent together, playing in the yard or as you went to your first party ever together. Even your first kiss was taken by Jimin as you wanted to know how it felt like. After many years by each others side it was time to go separate paths, long weeks of insomnia following as you missed each other more than your families, crying phone calls in the middle of the night declaring that you needed your friend. But as months and then years went on without seeing Jimin, you both had contained to live without the other, a hole in your heart never closing.

You had to stay home, taking a job as a secretary as Jimin went to college abroad, discovering the world his parents lived in. He had to study where his father made his degrees and after a few years it was time to finally meet your best friend again.

One day you went to work as usual, the boring life you lived making your mood more depressed by the days which passed. But this day should change your daily routine completely. While you checked in you saw how a mob of women built a circle around the CEO’s office, chatting like hell while others just tried to glance inside the room. Curious you tapped your co-worker on her shoulder.

“What’s going on here?”

“You didn’t know? Ah, you were sick last week, right y/n?”, she turned around, a worried expression on her face, but you saw the excitement lingering underneath. “Last week another company bought ours and the new CEO just entered the office and y/n, he is the hottest and youngest CEO I’ve ever seen!”

You nodded, the information sinking down slowly. Your company was brought by some young CEO of another group. Did that mean that you all would be fired? How was your company doing that someone had to buy it? Was its reputation that bad?

“Don’t make such a face, y/n! A paper went around to calm the employees nerves as everything will be as it was before, just the position of our chairman changing. Maybe some old traditions will be exchanged, but don’t worry, we are safe”, she stroked your arm while turning around before you saw that a man exited the bureau.

The new CEO had long legs, a broad back and was dressed in such a costly suit that you registered too late that he stared at you, his plump mouth agape, brown eyes wide awake. His smile was the same some years ago, his plump, pink lips stretched above white teeth which showed a crooked front tooth. The glowing, tanned skin was flushed in red under his high cheekbones and the chocolate almond shaped eyes which crinkled as the smile reached his eyes, you knew better than your own.

How was that possible? Why hadn’t he mailed you in three years? Why had he to stand right in front of you as you were in the middle of all female co-workers? And why the hell had he to smile so brightly at you with his beautiful face while you felt a burning hot fluid pooling in your eyes?

Before you knew it tears streamed down your cheeks, his charming, warm smile changing into shock and pain as you turned around to rush to the women’s toilets. Never had you imagined to see him again after breaking all contacts to you and your family. You were hurt as he went abroad to study, but it was a heartbreaking experience as he never called you the last three years. Of course you called, mailed and even wrote him letters, but you never got an answer all the years.

Time went by, but you didn’t care how long you stayed in front of the mirror, contemplating how to fix your make-up. Maybe twenty minutes maybe one hour, you wobbled out of the toilet, adjusting your skirt and blouse before you faced your co-workers again.

“Y/n!”, a male voice, familiar like the back of your own hand, calling out to you while you tried to rush back to your desk.

But ere you reached the doorknob of the corridor which parted your workplace, arms embraced you from behind. With a solid his grip he turned you around, pulling you into his broad chest.

“I missed you, y/n”, Jimin’s voice shook. “Please, don’t run away from me.”

You were on the verge of tears again while he just held you, his fists enclosed on the fabric on your shoulders. How you missed him, too. His scent, his warmth and his voice.

“J-Jimin..”, you said weakly, pushing your childhood friend away from you. “Why haven’t you ever mailed me again?”, you blurted out, brushing your salty tears away with your palms.

Jimin just looked down on your figure, his heart tightening at your sight, from pain and the love he felt for your being.

“I..I had to cope with a lot of things at that time. My dad passed away, I had to work my ass off and I wanted to make a contract with his company..to live here again. By my best friend’s side!”, the man in his dark suit replied, his hands running through his hair to stay composed.

“I could’ve helped you, Jimin”, you said bitterly, arms crossed in front of your chest.

“It wasn’t that easy. Please, y/n, let me make up for the time I missed the chances to reply and was a big fool to leave you alone for such a long time”, he begged, taking your hands softly out of your position to squeeze them lightly, finally being able to touch you again.

For a while you just glanced at him, he didn’t change much, got a little thinner, but he had the same aura you always adored around him. Even his smile was the same, charming and sweet with a bit of mischief behind it.

“Pick me up at eight. We have a lot to talk about”, you sighed, wanting to slap his pretty face and peck it all over at the same time. Yes, he had hurt you like hell, but every human should be granted a second chance.

“I’ll be there!”, Jimin replied right away ere he remembered something. “Where do you live, y/n?”

Right, he didn’t know as he was gone for too long to know where your new apartment was. Therefore you told him, a shy smile tracing your lips at the thought of spending the evening with your old, lost friend and CEO of your company. You had to ask him so many questions that you thought about making a list, wanting to hear his stories, how he was doing the last years and how your friendship should continue now as he was back.

That night you both talked about everything which pressed on your hearts. He told you how he had to cope with his father’s death and the responsibility this case brought with it. Jimin studied hard to be able to come back as fast as possible to see you again, wherefore he sealed all personal contacts off of him, concentrating to become the heir his family wanted him to be. And just that he did, right now he was ‘free’ to do what he wanted and this contained to buy the company you worked for.

“I see so many lost chances the firm could have gotten. But now that I am leading it, I will make sure that my money was worth spending it on and I swore to my father that I make it successful”, he announced, shoving his fork in his plump mouth. “The most important reason that I spent my money on it was that I knew you were working there.”

While his speech about his past years, his confession right now and the hurt expression on Jimin’ face you cried while listening to him. It was such a long time since you last had seen him that all emotions you had to repress exploded ere you both just stood in the middle of the kitchen, hugging each other tightly. Time passed by and as you lay in his arms on his large couch, Jimin promised to never let his childhood friend go again and so the dark, gloomy days lightened up with every new sunrise, the thought of Jimin making you happier than ever.

A few weeks after your first encounter, you developed the habit to stay over at Jimin’s house, making you both breakfast before rushing to work where you saw him, getting along with his new employees and the position as the company’s CEO. You couldn’t remember a time you were so comfortable at work. But something seeped through your mind slowly, a nagging feeling while your heart clenched, making breathing heavy whenever your eyes locked with Jimin’s. You knew too well what feelings made their way into you, the same damn feelings you had for him the days before his departure, developed by the years he spent by your side. Jimin should never know about your romantic thoughts about him, why you tried not to stay over as many times as his first two weeks back.

“Good morning, y/n”, his usual smile turned his plump lips upwards as he made his daily routine through the company to help his employees with problems. “What held you busy yesterday? I missed your breakfast the last days. You pampered me too much that I can’t eat anything else in the morning!”

You laughed, heat flowing to your cheeks at his words. Why had he to say so sweet things? It made it even harder to repress all the upcoming feelings you felt for him.

“I..I had to visit some friends”, you lied, avoiding his dark eyes.

“Is that so?”, he spoke slowly, not believing your words as he knew if you lied to him immediately. “What about today then?”

You felt eyes burning through your back as your co-workers tried to overhear the conversation you two had, but Jimin made sure that they got back to work with one strict sentence. The last days some female colleagues got suspicious of you two, pressing to spit what was going on between the CEO and you, but you just told them you knew each other, on friendly terms, nothing more. It was the truth, right? A short form of it, but not wrong.

“I don’t think that-”

“Bullshit, y/n. Ten o'clock at my house”, Jimin grinned, patting your head ere he continued his tour through the office.

He was so cheeky, but charming. At that you felt how your heart clenched again, a knot in your stomach tightening as you watched his broad back. You had only two options. Telling him how you started to feel, from high school on, or telling him you needed distance taking your relationship as employer-empolyee as an excuse.

This night you had mixed feelings coursing through your body as you waited for Jimin to open the door. He took his time ere he greeted you, his cute smile taking you by surprise.

“It’s nice to have you sleeping over again, y/n”, Jimin smirked, motioning you to enter his home.

“Y-yeah”, you stuttered, narrowing your eyes to your small bag. “As it’s the weekend I don’t have work, so..”

“Y/n?”

You looked up at the worry in his low voice. The heartbeat of yours beginning to race as you locked eyes with his. Jimin crossed his arms on his chest, cocking his dark eyebrows up.

“Spit it”, he reprimanded you.

Despite his demand you rounded him to slender to his living room, trying to get more time to choose between your two options. He was your friend, he deserved the truth, didn’t he?

“I love you”, you blurted, hands covering your face at your confession. Well, you wanted to talk to him first, letting the theme sink in, but the panic made you blurting out this embarrassing nonsense. “I-I… god, Jimin. Okay I liked you even back in high school and with every fucking day it gets worse, okay?”

Jimin just stood there, listening to you while a bright grin spread upon his tanned face. You finally said it, admitted what he already knew.

“Calm down, y/n”, he simply said, walking up to your position to take your hands in his, his thumbs circling on your skin. “I knew it. Back in high school you wrote this greasy letter to me”, he looked at your shocked expression, a chuckle escaping him. “Do you really think I can’t recognize the handwriting of my best friend?”

You felt how pink your cheeks had to be, cursing yourself for your stupidity of your high school days. But now that your 'secret’ was out of the bag you felt insecure, not knowing how he felt and how it changed your newly reunited friendship.

“I’m sorry, Jimin, I just had to tell you. And I totally understand if you don’t return my feelings. Please, take your time to think about it!”

You freed yourself from his grip, rushing back to the door ere you run back home, leaving a perplexed Jimin in the centre of his living room.

Now you had to wait for his answer, regret filling your mind before you shook yourself from the negative thoughts about the outcome of your confession.

On monday you had to drag yourself to work, the nagging feeling of rejection clouding your thoughts while you waited for the bell of the elevator to signal the arrival on your floor. Several co-workers greeted you as you slandered to your desk, falling down on your chair ere your department’s boss knocked on the surface of your desk.

“Good morning, Miss y/l/n. Mr. Park wants to see you in his office, please take your files and follow me”, your boss said while you snatched your reports to follow him to Jimin’s office a few floors above.

“Mr. Park? Your employee, Miss y/l/n, is here”, your boss announced as he knocked on your CEO’s office door.

“Come in, please”, you heard Jimin say, an unknown tune lacing his calm voice. Fear stiffened your limbs as you entered the light illuminated room. Jimin sat behind his desk ere he stood up to greet you.

“Hey, y/n”, he said, eyes crinkled while he shot you his signature smile. Without a warning he reached behind you to turn the key in the lock. Then he turned his attention to you, pulling you into him while pressing his plump, pink lips straight on yours.

Confused and shocked you glanced at him, wide eyes so close to his that you saw how long his black eyelashes lay on his cheeks while he closed his eyes, cupping your face as he deepened the kiss. It was the answer of your confession, you knew it as he delicately moved his mouth on yours, letting you take control. Therefore you pushed him back while never letting his lips go until the back of his legs bumped into his desk.

“Y/n, I always wanted you”, he said, voice hoarse whereas his hands traced down to your waist. You just knew what would follow, sliding your fingers over his costly suit while leaning in on him again to passionately kiss him. Jimin tasted so good you didn’t even care that you stood in the middle of his office, his employees running around only metres away. They landed on his chest, unbuttoning his knobs in heat as you finally could taste him like you always wanted.

“I want you, Jimin. And I waited forever”, you stated as he latched his tongue on your neck, sucking gently on your skin.

“The door’s locked, what do you wait for?”, he teased, voice muffled from your skin while he copied your actions and began to open your blouse, revealing your lacy bra to him.

Now you both couldn’t be held back as you stripped each other as far as you could, mouths clashing onto the other hastily. Lastly Jimin had only his open white shirt on while you stood before him, wearing nothing more than your bra and panties, blood boiling at the sight in front of you.

“You’re beautiful”, he whispered, pulling you in again to pepper more kisses along your collarbones down your stomach ere he slid down your panties, slowly exposing your heat to his hungry eyes. He cupped it, rubbing his palm on your nub, which made you moan a little ere your covered your mouth with your own hand.

“I-I’m already ready for you, Jimin”, you informed him, the previous make-out session and stripping of his clothes got you going and discovering that under his expensive clothes lay a toned, tanned and muscular body was just the icing which fuelled your arousal. Your mouth watering as you saw his freaking thick thighs.

Jimin only nodded, his fingers disappearing between your legs, dipping one in you to feel how wet your pussy already were.

“You’re definitely ready and so I am”, your CEO and childhood friend announced, standing up to lift you into his arms, your legs enclosed around his hips while your heat made contact to his throbbing dick, feeling how warm and thick his length pressed against your folds. How you wished for this to happen ever since high school. And now it finally took place, in his office while he was the CEO of your company and you his employee, but that didn’t matter whereas you both had the same feelings for each other.

The handsome guy sat down, leaning back into his chair while he positioned you on his lap to straddle him, your cores pressed together.

“What if someone wants to come in?”, you felt a tinge of nervousness at that thought, but Jimin just chuckled, caressing your bare ass with his soft hands. He smacked it ere he soothed you with the words that he was the damn CEO and if someone wanted to talk to him they had to wait, being it an important matter or not, he wanted to fuck you right now nothing more and nothing less.

With that you traced a line through your folds to damped his cock in your juices a few times before you slowly sat down on it, feeling his wet tip entering you. Jimin moaned quietly at the sensation as you took him in till he filled you completely, staying still while adjusting to the stretch his dick caused. Your eyes rolled back while he pressed his lips on yours again, his hands grabbing your hips to move tardily up and down, the stretch causing you pain which evolved into arousal pretty fast.

“Jimin”, you moaned his name as you began to roll your hips into his, his cock pressing on your walls with every move, making you cry out his name. Before anyone would hear your loud voice he pulled you down, moving his lips passionately on yours to muffle the lewd sounds coming out of your mouth.

By the time you rocked your hips furiously into his, panting while his throat escaped some grunts. Jimin grabbed you harder, helping you to bounce on his dick as a knock on the door disturbed your love making.

“Mr. Park, I have the files you requested”, a female voice reached through the closed door, Jimin’s forehead pressing against yours as his breathless voice filled the room.

“I’m busy right now. Wait for a while.”

You chuckled, oh he was busy. Therefore you bounced hard on his cock, the friction his skin caused at your clit intensifying, but not as much as you would have loved it to. Jimin on the other side focused on your face, contoured in lust as he felt himself close to his own release. You saw how sweaty his body was as your skin hit his, perverted sounds caused by your juices and the sweat tuning through his office. He bit his plump lower lips while circling your hips on his, making him come with a loud, low moan so near your ear that you got goosebumps. How long you wanted to hear it while his seeds shot into your pussy, sitting down on Jimin until he finished trembling underneath you. He breathed so heavy, letting whimpers out which were more melodious than music in your ears.

Slowly you stood up, some drops of his white semen flowing down his dick as he fell out of you with a loud smack onto his toned abs.

“Y/n, I never said it, but you’re not just my best friend anymore, a long time ago I realized that it is you who I want”, he whispered while kissing your lips after every word. “It has to be our little secret for a while, but I think we can do it, right?”

“If we repeat this if I have my break, then that’s okay”, you winked at him, a light giggle falling from your lips as he looked at you, the common mischief tracing his eyes.

“Firstly you say 'I love you’ to your friend and now you seduce your CEO?”

You laughed, grabbing your clothes ere you dressed yourself. So did he while never letting you go with his dark eyes.

“I have a thing for someone called Park Jimin, so yes”, you answered him while he embraced you from behind.

“Luckily my name is the same”, Jimin grinned. “Now back to work, y/n. Let me do you a favour tonight. Eight o'clock again?”

You turned around, kissing his plump, pink lips again, adjusting his grey tie on it’s place. Now it was set, you were in love with your best friend, secret high school love and at the same time CEO. But you didn’t care what his status was as he kissed you back, smiling into your lips.

[crissle]

transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017. Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through. To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started. As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

It means I frequently feel simultaneously overwhelmed and very bored. It means forcing myself to go to work even when I’m depressed or my anxiety is through the roof because I’m the grown up now, and the bills don’t get paid unless I do it.

It means sometimes sitting in my room alone and feeling like I’ve done nothing significant with myself.

It means going through bouts of just being unhappy and not having any option but deal with it.

So no, adulthood is not the “I can do what I want” paradise that it may have appeared to be when we were young, and I’m sure you can all see that clearly now, but there is even more growth ahead. Sorry if you thought the hard parts were over.

Many of you have likely never worked a full time job or completely supported yourselves before, so as you prepare to enter the professional workforce please understand that as a young person of color your biggest asset will likely not be your intelligence, work ethic, or creativity. It will be your ability to make the white people around you feel at ease. You’ve probably already been honing this skill during your time at Vassar. No shade. Lord knows my years in college in Oklahoma prepared me in the same way to deal with my bosses and coworkers. You will be tested the first time a colleague complains to your supervisor about your “unfriendliness”, when really you were just trying to meet a deadline and didn’t care to hear about Susan’s cat and its vomit. Or the time you collaborate with a group and when the work is presented to your boss, your contributions have been conveniently erased or “mistakenly” attributed to someone else.

There have been many times that I had to sit back at work and bite my tongue while a white male coworker skated by with few responsibilities and even fewer repercussions. This is what it’s like for most of us playing the corporate game. Keep the white people at work comfortable in your presence, and things are magically easier. Force them to see the blackness in your humanity, and watch the complaints to HR pile up.

If you feel like you are being unfairly targeted or punished at work, put those in feelings in writing and back it up with some proof before emailing it to the people who need to know. That’s right - I’m telling you to go full White Woman in the workplace. Learn now to trust your gut. Know that if something FEELS off, it probably IS off.

When things were getting rough at a previous job of mine and I suspected something shady was going on, I started carrying my iPhone all over the office and using the Voice Memo app to record what was being said when I wasn’t in the room.

I kept my own meticulous records of what was going on and those files ended up saving me in a major way. I’m thankful every day that I didn’t ignore my intuition about that job. Sometimes we get those sneaky feelings and think we’re being paranoid when it’s really God (or the universe, or your personal higher power, whatever you believe in) trying to warn us about the dangers ahead. There have also been plenty of times that I didn’t listen to that intuition at all and paid the price dearly. Please learn from my mistakes.

I dated a girl back in 2008 or 2009 (the years all start to run together after a certain point) that we’ll call Ashley. Ashley was fine, played basketball, had a nice car, great job, and most importantly - was taller than me. But there were lots of things about her that didn’t add up. Like how she claimed to be an engineer for Apple, but we lived in Oklahoma City which had only just gotten an Apple retail store at all the year before. Or how she claimed to be my age, but her driver’s license said she was born three years before I was. (She claimed it was a mistake at the DMV that she never got fixed). Or how she constantly gave away fancy things like Louis Vuitton purses and Gucci and bought an SUV back when gas was like $5.32/gallon and not even rich white people were buying SUVs. The list goes on and on.

There was a lot about Ashley that should have been a red flag, but I didn’t care. She was fine! She took me out all the time and seemed head over heels for me and opened doors and held my umbrella so I looked past the sketchy job thing and the fact that she was blatantly lying about her age and everything else. The universe gave me so many chances to walk away from that situation, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. If I am honest with you now, it’s because I never thought someone who looked that good could be attracted to me. If I lost her, I’d never get anybody that fine again. When she got a new job as an “engineer” at a bank, she asked me to come there one day and open an account so she could deposit a check into it. Now don’t get me wrong, I was definitely a fool back then, but that just felt like it should be a no. And so for the first time in our relationship, I told her no.

She let it drop, and I pretended that nothing was wrong and kept dating Ashley despite the millions of warnings the universe was tossing in my direction until I couldn’t ignore them anymore.

A few weeks later, I was home asleep when she pulled up at my house at 3 AM (problem number one) and told me she’d been arrested for embezzlement and her dad had just bailed her out. She claimed that it was all a big misunderstanding, but when I put two and two together I realized that she’d asked me to come to the bank that day so that she could pull off her little stunt and blame me if she ever got caught. To say that I was hurt by that betrayal would be a massive understatement. I couldn’t believe someone I loved and trusted so much could have treated me that way. Had I been even just 2% dumber I’d probably have a record right now because of that girl. I let the idea of loneliness and solitude keep me in a situation that I should have left months earlier, and it almost ruined me in a permanent way.

I tell you that story because my friend Kid Fury and I give out a lot of advice on our podcast, The Read. Most of it is about relationships and I get a lot of feedback from younger women who say things like “Wow, I wish I was as reasonable as you are about relationships” or “I wish I was okay with being single like you guys seem to be”. But I didn’t always make smart decisions when it came to love. I wasn’t always okay with being by myself and I didn’t get to this place overnight.

What I DID do was learn from all the ways that I messed up and spent time alone after every relationship to work on myself. From Ashley in particular I learned to always trust my instincts, and these days I spend a lot more time vetting people before I decide to date them. That’s not foolproof either, because love is always a gamble. You never know how things will turn out. The difference now is that I listen to the warnings the first time I hear them.

Since we’re already on the subject of relationships, I want you to know that sometimes you will have to un-break your own heart. Sometimes what you thought was the perfect relationship ends and you don’t get any real answers or resolution or closure. Sometimes you will have to sit alone in your heartbreak and just feel every bit of that misery. Sometimes you will have to know when it’s over and be brave enough to end things before they can get worse.

I want you to know that because if you decide to not feel those feelings… if you decide to throw yourself into sex or dating or selling laxatives on Instagram instead of processing the entirety of what you are going through… all you are doing is delaying the inevitable. Your future relationships will crumble under the weight of your unresolved emotions. You are not doing yourself a favor by pretending that you aren’t bleeding. It is fine and good to develop hobbies to distract yourself from the pain and loneliness of a relationship ending, but make sure you take the time to really get through your breakup.

Remember that never getting married isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you, but marrying the wrong person could be.

For young women in particular, I want you to learn to put yourselves first. Learn to prioritize your needs. There is so much to be accomplished in your personal life when you are happy with yourself alone. As a wise woman once said, there is an essential part of who you are that only becomes alive in the place where romance ends. Women are so conditioned in this society to take care of others that choosing yourself can feel unnatural. It can be isolating, because believe it or not lots of people don’t think women have the right to see themselves as truly equal to men. Weak partners will not know how to handle a woman who puts her happiness above anyone else’s but choose yourself anyway, and never compromise just for the sake of not being single.

When I was around your age, LiveJournal was a big deal on the internet. If you aren’t familiar, LiveJournal was a site for keeping personal blogs and participating in communities with like-minded people and I loved it. I blogged on LJ for years and made internet friends that I still keep up with on Twitter today, and when I take the time to go back and read what I was going through in my mid-twenties I am always blown away.

An excerpt from September 6, 2004: “I figure, why break up with him for being a liar (and probably a cheater) when everyone I’ve EVER dated has been a liar/cheater. Obviously I am destined to be either alone or with a liar/cheater. No sense in breaking up with this one when all I’ll be doing is waiting for the next one to come around.”

YIKES! I read that now and see a person whose self-esteem was so low that she should’ve been single and in therapy. It’s hard for me to reconcile that girl with who I am today, but I got here. The things that felt fresh and dangerous and new back then are old roads to me now. You will get there too. But you gotta keep going.

Another quote from my journal, this one dated November 5, 2008: “I don’t even try, anymore, even though I want things to be better. I want to do and be better. But I don’t put forth the effort that I know is required of me and I don’t know why. I just let things get worse and worse and worse and one of two things happen: It’ll get so bad that I’m forced to do something to change it or it’ll blow up completely in my face. If I do eventually change, I never manage to keep it up so either way it goes my life is a constant cycle of fail. I wish I knew why I couldn’t be one of those people who learns to make it right.

P.S. What is up with Rihanna having all these good songs lately?”

I remember feeling that way A LOT - sometimes for days and weeks at time. But it’s funny to me now that I remember those feelings but not the daily work it took to get out of it. I just know that I kept moving. I talked to my friends about what was going on and faithfully asked the church to pray for me every Sunday and Wednesday. When that didn’t fix it alone, I broke down and found a psychiatrist. (Which I highly recommend, by the way. Mine have saved my life twice. #NoShame.) If you’ve never been in therapy before, it might surprise you how helpful a stranger can be when you feel stuck dealing with life.  And of course, I kept my journal. I kept writing. When my depression drove me to the point of feeling suicidal, I wrote my way out. But my journal wasn’t all tears and desperation and sadness. I laugh a lot too when I look back at who I used to be and what the world was like then.

Like this post from September 3, 2005: “Kanye West just got on TV and said ‘George Bush doesn’t care about black people’. Kanye West is officially my baby daddy.”

Or this one, from August of that same year: “I bought two fish, one male and one female. I named them Brad and Angelina. And I don’t think it’s any coincidence that they hump constantly.”

I encourage you to keep a journal and write in it as much as possible. I read a story on Humans of New York last year about a woman who has kept a journal every day since she started it as a class assignment in elementary school. Y’all, I would spend Beyoncé ticket money to be able to go back to 1996 and read my thoughts on being in 7th grade and what the Oklahoma City bombing was like for us living 90 miles away. I would spend VIP Beyoncé ticket money to be able to go back to high school and read the daily thoughts of a girl who was struggling with bisexuality and living with a very religious family in the middle of the Bible belt. So yes, please keep a written record of your life. One day it will be invaluable to you.

Take a lot of pictures of yourself and of everything around you, even when you think you look terrible. I don’t mean that you have to post them on Instagram or Tumblr every day, but no one ever grew older and thought “Damn, there’s too many photos of me lying around from when I was young.” The moments you are experiencing now will layer themselves into the person you grow to be. It’s a lot of fun to look back on trips that my best friends and I took in our mid-twenties and cackle together over the memories. When I was your age, camera phones were only just starting to become mainstream and it was a bit of a pain to hold onto lots of photos. So take advantage of the times we are in now. Save all those snaps to your camera roll. Record videos when you and your friends are just hanging out being goofy. Take those selfies, even if you think they’re ugly, and know that one day you’ll look back and touch the pixels of your 23 year old face and wonder where the time went.

One day, if it hasn’t come already, it will really hit you that you’re not one of the kids anymore. One day you will look around at your family and you will now be in the position that was always previously occupied by your parents, aunts, and uncles. Those kids that your siblings and cousins have? They get old fast! It is a cruel trick of life that childhood seems to drag on forever while adulthood flies past. Nothing prepares you for the realization that your parents are whole, complete people who had entire lives that existed before you were ever considered.

You will know in a way that young people are not capable of knowing that time continues to move and the world keeps turning no matter what. Children cannot quite understand that the games and technology and places and people they build their memories out of will all change one day. When I was your age, MySpace and BlackPlanet were more popular than Facebook and George W. Bush was the dumbest president America ever had. So yeah, the world will change in ways you cannot begin to imagine. You will realize that if you are fortunate you will be old one day, but also that growing older means learning different ways to say goodbye. One day it will be you turning up the brightness on your phone and increasing the font size on your MacBook and looking confused at whatever new app or machine the children of the future have invented.

Everyone won’t leave Vassar this weekend with a great job lined up in the career they’ve always dreamed of and go on to live happily ever after. If you’re like most of us, you will spend a significant amount of time being overworked, undervalued, underpaid, stressed, and tired. I want to encourage you today to hold on through the times when life will frustrate you the most. Understand that you WILL mess up, and the way you respond to making mistakes shows your true maturity. Hold on to the friendships you’ve had for years. Take the time to figure out who you are and how that person is different from who you want to be. Learn when to cut people off and how to genuinely apologize.

Ages 22 to 32 were by far the hardest I’ve gone through in my life. Imma just be real with y’all about that. I had a lot of terrible relationships. I had knockdown drag-out fights with roommates and best friends. I had terrible jobs and even worse bosses. My health wasn’t always great and I stopped trying to take care of myself. Depression and anxiety seemed to rule my days more often than not.

But if I hadn’t held on, I never would have worked up the nerve to move from Oklahoma to Harlem. I never would have started doing The Read with Kid Fury, which changed my life completely. I never would have been able to travel the world doing the work I love. I never would have found the real happiness and true peace that come with both loving and liking yourself.

Understand that your next steps into adulthood begin now, and that you cannot get to the rewards life has in store for you without walking the journey. (Unless you were born a cis-straight white man, and then the world is your oyster.) When I look back over the past decade of my life, I see a lot of struggle and heartache and days that I had to collect coins from the bottom of my glove compartment to scrape up enough money to find dinner. And now that I’m on the other side of that mountain I see how every last one of those days I spent hurting and miserable led me to being right here. I had to learn to trust the process laid out for me. I had to learn to let my dreams shift into my destiny. Like Oprah says, I learned to lean in with the universe instead of fighting it. So as you prepare to tackle the changes heading your way, do your best to hold your head high and remain true to yourself. Remember to hold onto your values, your ethics, and your purpose. It is these qualities that will successfully guide you through life.

I’ll leave you with one last excerpt from my journal, dated January 20, 2007: “My ex-boyfriend just moved to Harlem and he gets on my nerves talking about how great the east coast is. I really don’t give a damn about the east coast. I would never move to NYC, but maybe that’s just me.”10 years later, I can tell you that 24 year old me couldn’t have been more wrong about what she would or would not do and how her life was going to turn out. So have your dreams and goals, but don’t be so attached to them that you miss out on your purpose.

Congratulations to you, the Vassar class of 2017, and to the parents, family and friends who have helped you arrive. Good luck to you and thank you for listening.

[nirvedha-blog]

Woman Leaders – They Have A Natural Flair To Be Coach Leaders

In my overall experience of 25+ years as a professional, had a unique opportunity to work with three female bosses in succession very closely and observe their leadership style for over a period of close to six years. The way they have built their teams, interact with their teams, guide their teams, how they stand for their teams, the way they pull them up when they are in a lull.   

Also, as a leader, I had a unique opportunity to nurture and grow woman leaders from my team to take on future leadership roles, and I would always be amazed the way they have shown the dedication and grasp to take on the mantle and move on equally and at times far better than their male counterparts.

Now as I look back as an Executive cum Business Coach and while coaching my Female coaches I enjoy the entire coaching journey more than them as I am of a strong opinion that women have a natural tendency to become a coach leader and who can build bonds with their team members more naturally than men.  They are far more dedicated to their Goals and try to be on schedule in terms of not only creating the Goals but also achieving them.

Myths about Woman as Leaders

For years women struggled to fit into a man’s world. They dressed in dark suits like men, toughened up like men, and sought emotional attitudes of men. However, no more. Balance and success come from recognizing that while women may think and act differently, that brings diversity and strength to the workplace.

Harvard scientists discovered women use their brain differently than men. Women leaders who solve problems in business and industry, often think comprehensively. They may think longer than men before offering solutions as they consider it from all directions—including emotional fallout, the effect on people and other alternatives, as well as the bottom line.

Reasons why I feel Woman Leaders can be a natural Coach Leaders

There are many reasons why the woman, far from being ill-equipped to be good coach leaders, actually has natural advantages over men when it comes to coaching and makes excellent coach leaders.

·         Women leaders are natural teachers. Moreover, women generally have a better overall capacity to be organized and prepared to provide a quality experience to all team members.

·         Women leaders tend to be less authoritarian leaders. Women tend to lead by consensus, a leadership style that a majority may prefer, rather than employing a stricter form of leadership. Women tend to connect by empathizing and establishing relationships.  A mother's instinct to be a calming influence and peacemaker and to want to emphasize how every team member is the same, not different.

·         Women leaders are natural nurturers. Science has proven that women are generally more adept than men at detecting mood from facial expression, body posture, and gestures, and thus knowing if a team member is unhappy. Because they tend to be more emotionally open, and have excellent communication skills.

·         Women leaders tend to want to find a balance between competition and cooperation. A woman's focus is more on teamwork, arising out of her belief that the best result comes when everyone contributes, and the most is gotten from everyone's talents. Women tend to reject the common supposition that competition must consist of winning and losing and of displays of power, dominance, and control, for better or worse.

·         Women leaders care about all team member, not just their own.  Woman have a "special sense of responsibility for people in general."

·         Women are a process- rather than result-oriented. It is what the Organizations should be focusing on: an emphasis on the process (developing skills, and having fun) rather than the result (wins and losses).

·         Women leaders are generally safety conscious and risk-averse. Studies show that serotonin levels in the brain are inversely related to risk-taking behavior. Evolutionary biologists believe that a woman's higher levels of serotonin, combined with her instinct to survive by avoiding risk.  This risk-averse tendency prompt women leaders to be more careful about safety and prevent exposing their Organization's to any security or legal breaches in today's digital world.

·         Women coach leaders are role models for female employees and teach them to celebrate being a female professional. Women coach leaders break down gender stereotypes by proving that women can be just as competent and tough as men.  

How Woman Leaders can unearth their Natural tendency to Become Coach Leaders

“Women – even alpha women – can finally figure out how to curb the belligerence and channel the brilliance of their alpha male colleagues!  Work Ethic showed me how to leverage my own strengths and deal effectively with my alpha.” By Joyce Russell, COO, Adecco USA

When it comes to business, most executive women suspect that they are at a distinct disadvantage and unfortunately the statistics bear them out. Although women are on the playing field in unprecedented numbers they still find it difficult to be promoted at the same rate as men. Today only a small percentage of women hold high-ranking positions.

However, Organizations today are far more committed to developing women’s talents and leadership potential than in the past, and progressive companies recognize the value of workforce diversity. Yet many women executives do not feel they possess the power to shape the vision, strategic direction, and cultures of their firms.

There is an old saying: "Star players don't become star players on the field, they are merely recognized there." That is true. If you want to see where someone develops a desire to succeed you need to observe their daily preparations. Even if you have natural talent and leadership ability, there is a need to prepare and train. Becoming successful in the corporate world takes special dedication and commitment.

Someone once said that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game that matters. Engaging a coach would help woman executives understand their game and their organization.  It is a continuous process of evolution of an executive, helping her become more than what she is right now. The personal skill sets of an individual play as important a role in her development as a business plan plays in a company’s eventual success. This analogy applies to all the organizations, irrespective of their size and areas of operation. An ever-increasing need to reinvent oneself puts the executives under exceeding pressure. An executive coach can help the executive in embracing such a situation rather than bowing out due to pressure. This falls in line with the primary goal of executive coaching which is to maximize the executive’s growth.

Conclusion

Women deserve to be respected as much, if not more, as males. More often than not they are tagged as being ‘too emotional’, and their opinions are overlooked or taken lightly at the workplace. An executive coach can help women leaders not only to channelize such emotions to their advantage but also to bring them out in a manner that is perceived as strength and not a weakness. 

Call it unfair or unasked for, maintaining a work-life balance is much more critical for women than men. A common assumption related to women leaders is that they need to leave office on time since they have kids waiting for them at home and they cannot prioritize their work over their family. An executive coach can help the women leaders get rid of these assumptions and paint a different picture in the minds of her subordinates.

Lack of women leaders at the workplace is a problem that has been in existence since the beginning of the time and needed to confront face to face. If we have a chance to tackle this issue with the help of executive coaching then why not give it a shot?

 http://www.businessworld.in/article/Woman-Leaders-They-have-A-Natural-Flair-To-Be-Coach-Leaders/08-12-2018-164899/

[her-culture]

Unequal Burden: Dress Code Expectations on Women in the Workforce

by Alex Quayle

When millennials finally began their full-time careers, the majority entered a workplace with tattoos, piercings, pink and purple hair, and more. However, taking a look back even a decade ago, this would have been completely unacceptable in the typical workplace. The opinions on dress codes across the U.S. has clearly shifted, with the idea that having tattoos and piercings simply does not diminish your skills, intelligence, professionalism, and overall value as an employee. It’s an exciting time!

However, as dress codes change throughout offices, the cultural attitude and expectations of women in the workforce hasn’t progressed much.

Many of these expectations are unspoken, so while the actual dress code doesn’t always specifically state some of these problematic issues, it’s how women are treated by higher-ups, colleagues, and clients based on their appearance.

At a time where women still struggle to be taken seriously in a professional setting, addressing these issues, seeking change, refusing to settle, and (trying to) avoid any workplace that perpetuates sexist expectations is vital.

The Issues

While dress codes become more and more relaxed, the fact of the matter is there still exists expectations for women to dress and look a certain way. For many women, they have to tip-toe a very thin line between looking too plain, lazy, and unprofessional, and too sexy, made-up, and over-the-top at work. Often, a woman is judged first on appearance, then her demeanor, and then eventually her skills and qualifications. Now, it’s important to note that this isn’t the case everywhere. In fact, more businesses are starting to become more progressive, but despite some companies’ best efforts, the cultural and societal pressures still stand firm.  

Makeup is one of the biggest pressures placed on women (both in and out of the workplace). Specifically, if you don’t wear it, you’re likely to receive some passive-aggressive comments or worse. When I asked a handful of women about their personal experiences with makeup in the workforce, a few said they felt as though they couldn’t progress within the company if they didn’t “look the part” by wearing makeup and heels every day.

Of course it’s understandable that a business wants their face of the company to look their best. Smart clothes and confidence does say a lot as a representative of a company. However, makeup truly should not be part of the equation. It’s a simple matter of choice; women shouldn’t feel obligated to wear it.

Several of the women I interviewed explained that they feel the pressure to consistently wear makeup, receiving comments such as, “you look exhausted,” “you look mommed out,” or “are you feeling okay?” on days they went makeup free. While those comments might seem harmless to some, they’re problematic for a number of reasons — the most important reason being that no one should ever really comment on a woman’s appearance, especially at work. One woman also said that waitresses weren’t allowed onto to the floor of restaurant she previously worked for to begin their shift if they weren’t “done up.” This, at its core, is workplace discrimination.

The Actions

The problem many women face when it comes to confronting this kind of discrimination is the possibility of losing their job and thus vital income. Many of these pressures are also unspoken. Oftentimes, higher-ups won’t put it in their employee handbook yet it’s a well-known “rule” and expectation. However, crummy employers will continue to discriminate against female employees unless called out. But how do you prove gender discrimination? Experts at Fiscal Tiger recommend:

- Taking notes: Regularly write down your incidents at work, particularly who was present, who harassed you, what was said, the date/time/location of the incident, and how it affected your workflow for the day.

- Filing a complaint with the company: Now is the time to check your employee handbook for proper protocol or speak directly to your HR department (don’t forget your notes). If your manager is the main harasser, then go to their direct manager or explain your situation to HR.

- Filing a complaint with the EEOC: If your complaint isn’t taken seriously or you were even terminated because of your complaint, filing with the EEOC will open an investigation into the treatment you received so that you can be awarded damages (financial compensation) or simply find justice for your treatment.

Reporting discrimination sounds like a literal nightmare, and honestly, to avoid sugarcoating it, it probably will be. But that’s what many toxic employers are banking on — that no one will say anything.

Unfortunately, it isn’t illegal for employers to have unequal burdens on their employees (for example, women are required to wear makeup, while men are not). As some experts explain, “While some plaintiffs have tried to show that requiring women to wear makeup takes more time and costs more money, thus being a greater burden on women than men, these arguments have not proven successful as of the date of publication.” If it’s written in the dress code that women are required to wear makeup, you might pick a losing fight.

However, now is not the time to give up on this war. Expressing your dissatisfaction with the current dress code at work (if clearly discriminatory) in a professional and stern way to HR and management can contribute to a change. Furthermore, if possible, outright refusing to work for unfair businesses that have these rules in place, and clearly stating that their unequal dress code as the reason behind your refusal, can also foster change. It can certainly be difficult, but it is possible to find and pick a better employer and leave behind the discriminating ones, especially as more and more women enter longtime male-dominated fields like STEM and more.

In the current workforce, more and more companies are leaning towards a more relaxed dress code. Many businesses seek loyal, motivated, and determined employees. A person can be all of that and still dress in jeans and a T-shirt. While this idea is becoming widely accepted, women still seem to be getting the short end of the stick. Our clothes, our makeup, and our hair are often judged before our skills. Furthermore, the laws are often not in women’s favor when faced with discrimination and unequal burdens. However, if history has proved anything, it’s that women can evoke change. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight, but we can help create a better work environment for future generations.

This article was published on the HerCulture blog. If you would like to submit an article, head on over to HerCulture to learn more about our writers and our magzine. Additionally, check out our social media (twitter, instagram, facebook, and tumblr!), our handles are herculture. Give this post a like and make sure you follow us on any of our accounts. By the end of December, we would like to reach our goal of 400 people on this tumblr account!

Start a culture revolution!

x Likhita

[catsynth-express]

Forced Togetherness Fridays: Open Floor Plans and Sexism

[By Mozilla in Europe (Flickr: London Workspace) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons]

Open floor plans are de rigeur in the high-tech industry, but they have also become trendy of late in other industries as well.  The are loved by some, hated by others. On a purely aesthetic level, I quite like open-floor-plan spaces.  After all, CatSynth HQ is a two-level open-plan space.  When they are modern, with lots of light, air, glass and metal, they can be quite beautiful and inviting.  The example from Mozilla’s UK office that opens this article is one such example.  On the other hand, some can just be boring and utilitarian, as if someone just took an old office space and knocked out some walls.

[By Benn (https://www.flickr.com/photos/benn/196447297/) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons]

var quads_screen_width = document.body.clientWidth; if ( quads_screen_width >= 1140 ) { /* desktop monitors */ document.write('<ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:600px;height:100px;" data-ad-client="pub-5176416568130778" data-ad-slot="2974773354" >'); (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); }if ( quads_screen_width >= 1024 && quads_screen_width < 1140 ) { /* tablet landscape */ document.write('<ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:600px;height:100px;" data-ad-client="pub-5176416568130778" data-ad-slot="2974773354" >'); (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); }if ( quads_screen_width >= 768 && quads_screen_width < 1024 ) { /* tablet portrait */ document.write('<ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:600px;height:100px;" data-ad-client="pub-5176416568130778" data-ad-slot="2974773354" >'); (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); }if ( quads_screen_width < 768 ) { /* phone */ document.write('<ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:600px;height:100px;" data-ad-client="pub-5176416568130778" data-ad-slot="2974773354" >'); (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); }

Aesthetics aside, the problems with open plans aren’t the spaces themselves.  It’s what happens when you put a lot of people in them.  For some, a busilling hive of activity with constant access to other people can be a boon, but for many is a source of intense anxiety and can feel even more confining than a small private office.

The problems of open office spaces can be especially challenging for women.  As reported in this article in Fast Co Design, the open design combined with everyday sexism can exacerbate the difficulties or challenges that women face in the workplace:

Fascinatingly, the study did not start out as an examination of gender specifically–it was meant as an examination of how workplace culture shifts when office design changes radically. It was only when Hirst, who conducted interviews on-site and spent a lot of time observing the workplace, began to feel pressure to dress in a more feminine way herself that she began to wonder about it. “She was surprised by the unusual amount of care she took over her own appearance, a degree of self-consciousness that she found burdensome as time progressed,” the researchers write. “To ‘fit in’ with the modern, clean aesthetic of the building itself and a dress code that was widely adopted, she departed from her usual preference for wearing jeans and no makeup; adopting a smart trouser suit and putting on makeup.”

Many of the examples in the main article as well as a follow-up featuring stories from readers focus on the extra pressure women feel about their appearances in these environments.  Interestingly, my own experience is somewhat different, but retains the overall sense of pressure.  I usually dress up and always wear makeup for the office, because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good.  But I do feel very self conscious in the open spaces in different ways.  First, I am worried about how mistakes or faux pas may be visible.  And in the world of high-tech, the almost religious embrace of casualness and the way many men, even in leadership, treat their slovenly appearance as a badge of strength or honor, can add subtle pressure.  As a woman, does one fit in, trying to be “one of the guys”, or be oneself and stand out in the sea of casualness?  I could write an entire article just about attire and dress codes – and I will – but there are other forms of sexism at work in open spaces as well.

The biggest problem that I have observed is the lack of privacy, even the privacy to conduct one’s own work efficiently, or conducting those aspects of personal life such as doctors’ appointments or things with family and children, that one has an expectation, even a right, to do from the office. Some companies, including ones where I work, sometimes set aside small spaces, either completely or just slightly enclosed, but it may not be enough, as one reader, Jean A., related:

The open office layouts I’ve sat in have both had ‘privacy’ rooms available, though these tend to be used as one-on-one meeting places almost as frequently as they are used as rooms in which individuals can call someone or even just take a brief rest. One thing in particular that I have noticed is that I like to be able to schedule doctor’s visits (for myself and my mother, whom I care for) while viewing my work calendar so that I can try and avoid missing meetings, but there is really no way to effectively do that privately in an open office floor plan. I have to drag my laptop into the privacy room, hope that the wireless works in that room (which it only rarely does)…

Another reader describes how the lack of privacy in open spaces can exacerbate workplace bullying, as described by reader Elizabeth G:

“The open plan office was in a college and not only was it very exposing as the managers were in a mezzanine level and looked down on us but the desks were butted up against each other and in rows. There was absolutely no privacy, and judgments about folks were made that amounted to a kind of covert bullying. Any absences from the room were noted and commented on. There were two small meeting rooms but they required booking. There was no room to spread documents out if you needed to and anyone could see what was on your screen. Most of us adopted a kind of blindness/deafness to our neighbors. It was also noisy at times, which impacted our concentration or ability to conduct telephone calls. I stuck it out for a year but was relieved to leave.

I have myself experience the stress and drain that comes with the lack of privacy in open spaces, the constant feeling of being watched.  I have also had to deal with novel types of bullying that are rarer in closed spaces.  On several occasions at multiple companies, I found myself chatting with a colleague about a technical matter related to a task at hand, only to have a male colleage come charging over and offer his unsolicited opinion – the ubiquitous and annoying phenomenon of mansplaining.  Sometimes he would be wrong because of missing context, but this did not stop a confident and overbearing manner, which crosses the line into bullying.  One particular egregious example involved my explaining an iOS-specific design requirement to a colleague working deliving a graphic, when suddenly a business-focused male coworker came over and erroneously explained why I was wrong – on top of this, he didn’t even address me directly, just my male colleague at the neighboring desk.  Similarly, some workplace bullies (invariably male in my experience) will use the open space to verbally corner or humiliate a co-worker, something that is unpleasant even behind closed doors, but far worse when it is in view of the entire company.

Then there is the simple problem of constant distraction.  As someone who is trained to use her ears critically, it is difficult to not be distracted by constant conversations happening in an open space, some of which can even be amplified by the acoustic properties of the space.  It is possible to filter them out metally, but this takes a lot of energy that is then drawn away from actually getting work done.  Many companies, including the one I described in last week’s article, have taken to offering noise-cancelling headphones to workers.  While it does cut down on noise distraction, these is merely a band-aid on the problem, and a band-aid that can itself lead to other problems like ear fatigue.

These and other issues, not surprisingly, can lead to increased anxiety.  And while men and women both face anxiety in the workplace, women face the additional challenge of being scrutinized for any display of emotion or “losing one’s cool.”  Open floor planes often leave very little place to work out anxiety, take an emotional break, or simply hide when necessary.  There is the bathroom, and there is going outside.  I use both strategies, including going for long walks away from the office – something that itself can be scrutinized in places that prize forced togetherness.  Readers in the follow-up article also releated similar stories, and in this quote from Emily S:

“I was one of three women at the company. I struggle with anxiety, and the cramped, nowhere-to-hide office layout made matters worse. When I felt an anxiety attack coming on, I would walk a block to a hotel around the corner and hide out in their basement bathroom until things subsided.

“It wasn’t until after a few months of working there that I mentioned this to my other female coworkers and found that they, too, had ‘hiding spots.’ One had a sibling who lived nearby and would go to his apartment, another would go to a department store a few blocks away.

“When I left the company, I made a note in my exit interview that the office setup exacerbated my anxiety and suggested that more consideration be given to employee mental health. I’m not sure if anything changed, but I do know that in my current office–still an open floor plan, but much larger–where there are places to escape to (like sofas, or a phone booth), I’m much happier.”

Of course none of these issues are unique to open floor plans, and many aren’t caused by them.  Sexism and bullying is rampant in a great many environments including the virtual world.  But an open work place where one feels trapped in the gaze of others can make it far worse.  Like Emily in the last quote, I look to companies that offer a variety of heterogenous spaces, some private, as well as opportunities to be remote from co-workers.  And I appreciate companies that put a priority on their workers’ mental health and well being as part of their operations.  It remains to be seen how that plays out in particular in the “forced-togetherness-as-virtue” tech industry, and whether some firms move away from open plans towards more variety of spaces.

Forced Togetherness Fridays: Open Floor Plans and Sexism was originally published on CatSynth

[nntodayblog]

How E! Tried, And Failed, To Bring The #MeToo Movement To The Red Carpet

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“Congratulations on your nomination. I loved [insert name of relevant movie/TV show/miniseries]. Oh, and you look beautiful! Tell me about your dress.”

That’s pretty much the way red carpet coverage goes, year in and year out, awards show after awards show.

Except this year.

Ahead of the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday, celebrities announced that they would be wearing all-black outfits to the festivities this year, a gesture to the recent Time’s Up initiative combatting workplace sexual harassment. Black gowns. Black pantsuits. Black tuxedos. The darkest shade was the color of the evening, chosen to symbolize celebrities’ fight against misconduct. The New York Times, responding to the news, predicted that the 2018 awards show would involve a very different kind of red carpet experience.

Indeed, E!, the network with a monopoly on red carpet coverage, attempted to acquiesce to the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements by refocusing its on-carpet interviews. Yes, the hi-res Glambot camera was still in play. But instead of the usual style-related queries, hosts Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic asked actress after actress questions about gender disparity in Hollywood and the recent sexual misconduct reckoning.

The effort was undeniable, but so was the network’s failure: Seacrest and Rancic put women on the spot, and left their male colleagues unchallenged.

Gone were the tiring questions and comments common to the carpet: Namely, “Who are you wearing?” Yet the obvious gender imbalance of pre-show fashion parades remained. Actress Michelle Williams spent her interview praising her guest for the evening, #MeToo movement instigator and Girls for Gender Equity senior director Tarana Burke. And Meryl Streep used her time to advocate for the work of National Domestic Workers Alliance director Ai-jen Poo.

But actors like Bob Odenkirk and Justin Timberlake managed to avoid serious questions like those hurled at their female counterparts. E! didn’t ask them what they thought of the Harvey Weinstein effect.

Christopher Polk/NBC via Getty Images

Rosa Clemente, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Williams and Tarana Burke.

Of course, E! had the best of intentions.

“We’re not asking, ‘Who are you wearing?’ We’re asking, ‘Why are you wearing black?’” longtime host Rancic announced to viewers. “There’ll still be all the fun and exciting moments that you have come to expect from the E! red carpet, but we also want to embrace this movement and allow these celebrities who are coming tonight, who have a big voice, to speak on behalf of millions who don’t.”

“We’ve been so excited about changing the carpet and turning something from just a fashion moment in a parade of dresses to something that means so much to all of us ― as women, as mothers, as sisters, as daughters.”Michelle Williams to NBC

And speak they did, in ways E! may not have predicted. Take, for example, Debra Messing, who used her few minutes on camera to slam the network’s decision to let go of host Catt Sadler last month. Sadler left her gig as an E! News personality after she found out her male co-host and friend, Jason Kennedy, was making double her paycheck.

“We want diversity, we want intersectional gender parity, we want equal pay,” Messing told Rancic at the Globes. “I was so shocked to hear that E! doesn’t believe in paying their female co-hosts the same as their male co-hosts. I miss Catt Sadler and so we stand with her. We want people to start having this conversation that women are just as valuable as men.”

These actresses didn’t let E! News off the hook for pay inequality. #GoldenGlobespic.twitter.com/ychxSIo29g

— HuffPost (@HuffPost) January 8, 2018

However, notably missing from E!’s coverage were similar proclamations from men. Seacrest and Rancic repeatedly asked women about rising awareness of sexual misconduct in their industry, but failed to ask a single male actor the same types of questions. Instead, the men, #TimesUp pins on their black lapels, were issued the standard carpet queries.

In one eyebrow-raising instance, Seacrest asked “This is Us” star Sterling K. Brown to recount his wife Ryan Michelle Bathe’s birthing story as she stood beside him. The conversation hung on Brown’s role in the labor and delivery process. Eventually, an unamused Bathe looked at both men and said, “Time’s up! Time’s up!”

Sadly, the only man in Seacrest’s company who even briefly mentioned his #TimesUp pin ― or the initiative ― was Armie Hammer, but that was after he spoke about James Franco’s all-male nominees dinner on Saturday night.

When asked via email why the hosts didn’t include men in the discussion about Time’s Up, an E! source referenced Hammer’s remarks and told HuffPost: “Conversation about the movement was woven throughout interviews with celebrities and their activist guests. It was a focus of E!’s entire red carpet today.”

Steve Granitz via Getty Images

Debra Messing

Perhaps E! felt it best to prioritize the voices of women who have been long silenced, who have been made to endure the bland“Who are you wearing?” inquiry for decades.

For over 20 years, the question has been a staple of E!’s awards season coverage, with Joan and Melissa Rivers kicking off their own version of the trend in 1996. “We were the only ones that did [red carpet commentary] in the beginning, and we came up with the phrase, ‘Who are you wearing?,’ and all that stuff,” Joan told E! in 2010. Melissa spoke on the subject with HuffPost last year, explaining that their red carpet show led the now-canceled “Fashion Police” to cement its place in award show culture.

“It’s been a part of my mom’s legacy and my mom’s life, and my legacy,” Melissa Rivers said. “And I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity.”

“Fashion Police” ended in November as it lost steam after the death of Joan Rivers in 2014. By then, her signature sharp, crass humor had already come under fire, particularly when comments like, “That neckline is plunging faster than Aretha Franklin’s head into a bucket of fried chicken,” and “She’s a chubby lady who’s very, very rich, and she should just calm down ― or lose weight,” poured out of her mouth. Despite Rivers’ wide and devoted fan base, many started to ask, “How far is too far?”

Alas, the #TimesUp movement sped up what was already a slow shift away from an awards show entertainment hallmark indelibly shaped by gendered objectification, and, at times, outright bullying.

Frazer Harrison via Getty Images

Meryl Streep and Ai-jen Poo.

Michelle Williams put it best, telling NBC: “We’ve been so excited about changing the carpet and turning something from just a fashion moment in a parade of dresses to something that means so much to all of us ― as women, as mothers, as sisters, as daughters.”

Actresses like Williams, Streep and Messing made the difference. There was a lot of pressure on the Globes ahead of time, as critics wondered whether the all-black carpet would be an empty gesture on its own. But what red carpet viewers ended up witnessing, at least in part, was something of a collective promise from women. They were not shy about the $16 million they’ve raised under the Time’s Up banner so far, and how it will be used to make the world a safer place for future generations.

I have literally never seen women celebrated or centered like this on an awards show or carpet. It's emotional.

— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) January 8, 2018

In the era of #TimesUp, did we miss the conventional questions about dresses and jewels? No. Were we more engaged with the conversations between host and talent that took the old questions places? Yes.

But would we have liked to see men speak up on the issue, alongside the women committed to advocacy in a revolutionized Hollywood? Hell yes. We would have loved to have heard Tom Hanks’ response to being grilled as thoroughly as his female counterparts. Or Hugh Jackman speak about something other than his movie “The Greatest Showman.”

Sadly, as the actual awards ceremony unfolded, barely any of the male winners gave speeches that addressed sexual harassment, gender parity or the uncertain future of their industry, either.

There’s no telling how many men ― and women ― are complicit in the entertainment world’s gaping array of problems, and are allowed to hide behind black getups and Time’s Up pins. What we do know is that throughout the past several months, mostly women have been doing the hard work, speaking outagainst their abusers and supporting one another in an effort to move our culture forward. E! missed its opportunity to call on men to do the same.

If just for a moment, a glitzy side of Hollywood was dimmed, and humanity, inspiration and truth shone through. But let us not forget that black is a form of camouflage. There are more evils to fight. If Hollywood is truly invested in bettering and balancing out every industry, let’s make sure this red carpet shakeup isn’t just a passing thing.

#AskHerMore and #AskHimMore.

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Stars Wearing Black In Solidarity At Golden Globes

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How E! Tried, And Failed, To Bring The #MeToo Movement To The Red Carpet

http://fashion-trendin.com/how-e-tried-and-failed-to-bring-the-metoo-movement-to-the-red-carpet/

How E! Tried, And Failed, To Bring The #MeToo Movement To The Red Carpet

“Congratulations on your nomination. I loved [insert name of relevant movie/TV show/miniseries]. Oh, and you look beautiful! Tell me about your dress.”

That’s pretty much the way red carpet coverage goes, year in and year out, awards show after awards show.

Except this year.

Ahead of the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday, celebrities announced that they would be wearing all-black outfits to the festivities this year, a gesture to the recent Time’s Up initiative combatting workplace sexual harassment. Black gowns. Black pantsuits. Black tuxedos. The darkest shade was the color of the evening, chosen to symbolize celebrities’ fight against misconduct. The New York Times, responding to the news, predicted that the 2018 awards show would involve a very different kind of red carpet experience.

Indeed, E!, the network with a monopoly on red carpet coverage, attempted to acquiesce to the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements by refocusing its on-carpet interviews. Yes, the hi-res Glambot camera was still in play. But instead of the usual style-related queries, hosts Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic asked actress after actress questions about gender disparity in Hollywood and the recent sexual misconduct reckoning.

The effort was undeniable, but so was the network’s failure: Seacrest and Rancic put women on the spot, and left their male colleagues unchallenged.

Gone were the tiring questions and comments common to the carpet: Namely, “Who are you wearing?” Yet the obvious gender imbalance of pre-show fashion parades remained. Actress Michelle Williams spent her interview praising her guest for the evening, #MeToo movement instigator and Girls for Gender Equity senior director Tarana Burke. And Meryl Streep used her time to advocate for the work of National Domestic Workers Alliance director Ai-jen Poo.

But actors like Bob Odenkirk and Justin Timberlake managed to avoid serious questions like those hurled at their female counterparts. E! didn’t ask them what they thought of the Harvey Weinstein effect.

Of course, E! had the best of intentions.

“We’re not asking, ‘Who are you wearing?’ We’re asking, ‘Why are you wearing black?’” longtime host Rancic announced to viewers. “There’ll still be all the fun and exciting moments that you have come to expect from the E! red carpet, but we also want to embrace this movement and allow these celebrities who are coming tonight, who have a big voice, to speak on behalf of millions who don’t.”

“We’ve been so excited about changing the carpet and turning something from just a fashion moment in a parade of dresses to something that means so much to all of us ― as women, as mothers, as sisters, as daughters.” Michelle Williams to NBC

And speak they did, in ways E! may not have predicted. Take, for example, Debra Messing, who used her few minutes on camera to slam the network’s decision to let go of host Catt Sadler last month. Sadler left her gig as an E! News personality after she found out her male co-host and friend, Jason Kennedy, was making double her paycheck.

“We want diversity, we want intersectional gender parity, we want equal pay,” Messing told Rancic at the Globes. “I was so shocked to hear that E! doesn’t believe in paying their female co-hosts the same as their male co-hosts. I miss Catt Sadler and so we stand with her. We want people to start having this conversation that women are just as valuable as men.”

These actresses didn’t let E! News off the hook for pay inequality. #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/ychxSIo29g

— HuffPost (@HuffPost) January 8, 2018

However, notably missing from E!’s coverage were similar proclamations from men. Seacrest and Rancic repeatedly asked women about rising awareness of sexual misconduct in their industry, but failed to ask a single male actor the same types of questions. Instead, the men, #TimesUp pins on their black lapels, were issued the standard carpet queries.

In one eyebrow-raising instance, Seacrest asked “This is Us” star Sterling K. Brown to recount his wife Ryan Michelle Bathe’s birthing story as she stood beside him. The conversation hung on Brown’s role in the labor and delivery process. Eventually, an unamused Bathe looked at both men and said, “Time’s up! Time’s up!” 

Sadly, the only man in Seacrest’s company who even briefly mentioned his #TimesUp pin ― or the initiative ― was Armie Hammer, but that was after he spoke about James Franco’s all-male nominees dinner on Saturday night.  

When asked via email why the hosts didn’t include men in the discussion about Time’s Up, an E! source referenced Hammer’s remarks and told HuffPost: “Conversation about the movement was woven throughout interviews with celebrities and their activist guests. It was a focus of E!’s entire red carpet today.” 

Perhaps E! felt it best to prioritize the voices of women who have been long silenced, who have been made to endure the bland “Who are you wearing?” inquiry for decades. 

For over 20 years, the question has been a staple of E!’s awards season coverage, with Joan and Melissa Rivers kicking off their own version of the trend in 1996. “We were the only ones that did [red carpet commentary] in the beginning, and we came up with the phrase, ‘Who are you wearing?,’ and all that stuff,” Joan told E! in 2010. Melissa spoke on the subject with HuffPost last year, explaining that their red carpet show led the now-canceled “Fashion Police” to cement its place in award show culture.

“It’s been a part of my mom’s legacy and my mom’s life, and my legacy,” Melissa Rivers said. “And I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity.”

“Fashion Police” ended in November as it lost steam after the death of Joan Rivers in 2014. By then, her signature sharp, crass humor had already come under fire, particularly when comments like, “That neckline is plunging faster than Aretha Franklin’s head into a bucket of fried chicken,” and “She’s a chubby lady who’s very, very rich, and she should just calm down ― or lose weight,” poured out of her mouth. Despite Rivers’ wide and devoted fan base, many started to ask, “How far is too far?”

Alas, the #TimesUp movement sped up what was already a slow shift away from a from an awards show entertainment hallmark indelibly shaped by gendered objectification, and, at times, outright bullying.

Michelle Williams put it best, telling NBC: “We’ve been so excited about changing the carpet and turning something from just a fashion moment in a parade of dresses to something that means so much to all of us ― as women, as mothers, as sisters, as daughters.” 

Actress like Williams, Streep and Messing made the difference. There was a lot of pressure on the Globes ahead of time, as critics wondered whether the all-black carpet would be an empty gesture on its own. But what red carpet viewers ended up witnessing, at least in part, was something of a collective promise from women. They were not shy about the $16 million they’ve raised under the Time’s Up banner so far, and how it will be used to make the world a safer place for future generations.

I have literally never seen women celebrated or centered like this on an awards show or carpet. It’s emotional.

— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) January 8, 2018

In the era of #TimesUp, did we miss the conventional questions about dresses and jewels? No. Were we more engaged with the conversations between host and talent that took the old questions places? Yes.

But would we have liked to see men speak up on the issue, alongside the women committed to advocacy in a revolutionized Hollywood? Hell yes. We would have loved to have heard Tom Hanks’ response to being grilled as thoroughly as his female counterparts. Or Hugh Jackman speak about something other than his movie “The Greatest Showman.” 

Sadly, as the actual awards ceremony unfolded, barely any of the male winners gave speeches that addressed sexual harassment, gender parity or the uncertain future of their industry, either.

There’s no telling how many men ― and women ― are complicit in the entertainment world’s gaping array of problems, and are allowed to hide behind black getups and Time’s Up pins. What we do know is that throughout the past several months, mostly women have been doing the hard work, speaking out against their abusers and supporting one another in an effort to move our culture forward. E! missed its opportunity to call on men to do the same.

If just for a moment, a glitzy side of Hollywood was dimmed, and humanity, inspiration and truth shone through. But let us not forget that black is a form of camouflage. There are more evils to fight. If Hollywood is truly invested in bettering and balancing out every industry, let’s make sure this red carpet shakeup isn’t just a passing thing. 

#AskHerMore and #AskHimMore. 

http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

[gabisayuri29-blog1]

A Clothes Encounter In The Business World

Do you ever wonder where all the dress rules have gone? Depending on when and where you are on any given business day, the words "distant past" might come to mind.  It's difficult to decide if people don't know what to wear to work or if they have lost sight of the relevance of appearance to professional success.

The Queen of England is reported to have told Prince Charles, "Dress gives one the outward sign from which people can judge the inward state of mind. One they can see, the other they cannot." Clearly, she was saying what many people are reluctant to accept; that people judge us by the way we dress. In all situations, business and social, our outward appearance sends a message.

Try going to a busy restaurant at lunchtime. Look around you at what people are wearing and see if you don't make judgments about who they are, their line of business, their personalities and their competencies. Think about how you feel when you are dressed in your usual business attire as opposed to casual dress. Your choice of business apparel speaks to your professional behavior and credibility. It is important to understand how to dress for business if you wish to promote yourself and your organization in a positive manner,

How you dress depends on four factors: the industry in which you work, the job you have within that industry, the geographic area in which you live; and most importantly, what your client expects to see.

Professional Dress for Men

In men's clothing, fashion does not change significantly from season to season but business attire is about being professional and not about being fashionable.  It's about presenting yourself in a way that makes your clients feel comfortable and confident with you. Dressing for success is still the rule. The professional businessman should keep in mind these few points when deciding what to wear to work.

Choose a conservative suit in navy, black or gray either pinstripe or solid. The quality of the material speaks as loudly as the color and can make the difference between sleaze and suave.

A solid white or blue dress shirt with long sleeves offers the most polished look.  The more pattern and color you add, the more the focus is on your clothing, rather than your professionalism.

Ties should be made of silk or a silk-like fabric.  Avoid the cartoon characters and go for simple and subtle if you want to enhance your credibility.

Socks should be calf-length or above.  Make sure they match not only what you are wearing, but also each other.  A quick glance in good light before heading out the door can save embarrassment later in the day. Check for holes as well if you'll be going through airport security and removing your shoes.

Shoes should without question be conservative, clean and well polished. Lace-up shoes are the choice over slip-ons or flip flops.  Don't think for a minute that people don't notice shoes.  Many people will look at your feet before your face.

Belts need to match or closely coordinate with your shoes.  Once again, quality counts.

Keep jewelry to a minimum.  In a time when men sport gold necklaces, bracelets and earrings, the business professional should limit himself to a conservative watch, a wedding band and maybe his college ring.

Personal hygiene is part of the success equation.  Freshly scrubbed wins out over heavily fragranced any day of the week.  Save the after-shave for after hours, but never the shave itself.

The finishing touch for the business man is his choice of accessories: briefcase, portfolio and pen. When it comes to sealing the deal, a top of the line suit, a silk tie and a good pair of leather shoes can lose their affect when you pull out the ball point pen you picked up in the hotel meeting room the day before.

Professional Dress for Women

When women entered the workplace in the 1970's and 1980's in greater numbers than ever before and began to move into positions which had traditionally been held by men, many of them believed that they needed to imitate male business attire. The result was women showing up at the office in skirted suits or coordinated skirts and jackets with tailored blouses finished off with an accessory item that looked very much like a man's tie.  Happily those days are gone. While the business woman may now wear trousers to work, she does it out of a desire to appear professional and at the same time enjoy the flexibility and comfort that pants offer over skirts.  Her goal is no longer to mirror her male colleagues.

The same overall rules apply to women's work attire as apply to men's. Business clothing is not a reflection of the latest fashion trend. A woman should be noticed for who she is and her professional skills rather than for what she wears.  Her business wear should be appropriate for her industry and her position or title within the industry.

Start with a skirted suit or pants suit for the most conservative look.  A skirted suit is the most professional.  With a few exceptions, dresses do not offer the same credibility unless they are accompanied by matching jackets.

Skirts should be knee-length or slightly above or below.  Avoid extremes.  A skirt more than two inches above the knee raises eyebrows and questions.

Pants should break at the top of the foot or shoe.  While Capri pants and their fashion cousins that come in assorted lengths from mid-calf to ankle are the latest trend, they are out of place in the conservative business environment.

Blouses and sweaters provide color and variety to woman's clothing, but they should be appealing rather than revealing.  Inappropriate necklines and waistlines can give the wrong impression.

Women need to wear hose in the business world.  Neutral or flesh-tone stockings are the best choices.  Never wear dark hose with light-colored clothing or shoes. Keep an extra pair of stockings in your desk drawer unless the hosiery store is next door or just down the street from the office.

Faces, not feet, should be the focal point in business so chose conservative shoes.  A low heel is more professional than flats or high heels. In spite of current fashion and the sandal rage, open-toed or backless shoes are not office attire.  Not only are sandals a safety hazard, they suggest a certain official agenda.

When it comes to accessories and jewelry, less is once again more.  Keep it simple: one ring per hand, one earring per ear.  Accessories should reflect your personality, not diminish your credibility.

Business attire is different from weekend and evening wear. Investing in a good business wardrobe is an investment in your professional future. For those who think it's not what you wear but who you are that creates success, give that some more thought. Business skills and experience count, but so does personal appearance and that all-important first impression.

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A Clothes Encounter In The Business World

Do you ever wonder where all the dress rules have gone? Depending on when and where you are on any given business day, the words “distant past” might come to mind. It’s difficult to decide if people don’t know what to wear to work or if they have lost sight of the relevance of appearance to professional success.

The Queen of England is reported to have told Prince Charles, “Dress gives one the outward sign from which people can judge the inward state of mind. One they can see, the other they cannot.” Clearly, she was saying what many people are reluctant to accept; that people judge us by the way we dress. In all situations, business and social, our outward appearance sends a message.

Try going to a busy restaurant at lunchtime. Look around you at what people are wearing and see if you don’t make judgments about who they are, their line of business, their personalities and their competencies. Think about how you feel when you are dressed in your usual business attire as opposed to casual dress. Your choice of business apparel speaks to your professional behavior and credibility. It is important to understand how to dress for business if you wish to promote yourself and your organization in a positive manner,

How you dress depends on four factors: the industry in which you work, the job you have within that industry, the geographic area in which you live; and most importantly, what your client expects to see.

Professional Dress for Men

In men’s clothing, fashion does not change significantly from season to season but business attire is about being professional and not about being fashionable. It’s about presenting yourself in a way that makes your clients feel comfortable and confident with you. Dressing for success is still the rule. The professional businessman should keep in mind these few points when deciding what to wear to work.

Choose a conservative suit in navy, black or gray either pinstripe or solid. The quality of the material speaks as loudly as the color and can make the difference between sleaze and suave.

A solid white or blue dress shirt with long sleeves offers the most polished look. The more pattern and color you add, the more the focus is on your clothing, rather than your professionalism.

Ties should be made of silk or a silk-like fabric. Avoid the cartoon characters and go for simple and subtle if you want to enhance your credibility.

Socks should be calf-length or above. Make sure they match not only what you are wearing, but also each other. A quick glance in good light before heading out the door can save embarrassment later in the day. Check for holes as well if you’ll be going through airport security and removing your shoes.

Shoes should without question be conservative, clean and well polished. Lace-up shoes are the choice over slip-ons or flip flops. Don’t think for a minute that people don’t notice shoes. Many people will look at your feet before your face.

Belts need to match or closely coordinate with your shoes. Once again, quality counts.

Keep jewelry to a minimum. In a time when men sport gold necklaces, bracelets and earrings, the business professional should limit himself to a conservative watch, a wedding band and maybe his college ring.

Personal hygiene is part of the success equation. Freshly scrubbed wins out over heavily fragranced any day of the week. Save the after-shave for after hours, but never the shave itself.

The finishing touch for the business man is his choice of accessories: briefcase, portfolio and pen. When it comes to sealing the deal, a top of the line suit, a silk tie and a good pair of leather shoes can lose their affect when you pull out the ball point pen you picked up in the hotel meeting room the day before.

Professional Dress for Women

When women entered the workplace in the 1970’s and 1980’s in greater numbers than ever before and began to move into positions which had traditionally been held by men, many of them believed that they needed to imitate male business attire. The result was women showing up at the office in skirted suits or coordinated skirts and jackets with tailored blouses finished off with an accessory item that looked very much like a man’s tie. Happily those days are gone. While the business woman may now wear trousers to work, she does it out of a desire to appear professional and at the same time enjoy the flexibility and comfort that pants offer over skirts. Her goal is no longer to mirror her male colleagues.

The same overall rules apply to women’s work attire as apply to men’s. Business clothing is not a reflection of the latest fashion trend. A woman should be noticed for who she is and her professional skills rather than for what she wears. Her business wear should be appropriate for her industry and her position or title within the industry.

Start with a skirted suit or pants suit for the most conservative look. A skirted suit is the most professional. With a few exceptions, dresses do not offer the same credibility unless they are accompanied by matching jackets.

Skirts should be knee-length or slightly above or below. Avoid extremes. A skirt more than two inches above the knee raises eyebrows and questions.

Pants should break at the top of the foot or shoe. While Capri pants and their fashion cousins that come in assorted lengths from mid-calf to ankle are the latest trend, they are out of place in the conservative business environment.

Blouses and sweaters provide color and variety to woman’s clothing, but they should be appealing rather than revealing. Inappropriate necklines and waistlines can give the wrong impression.

Women need to wear hose in the business world. Neutral or flesh-tone stockings are the best choices. Never wear dark hose with light-colored clothing or shoes. Keep an extra pair of stockings in your desk drawer unless the hosiery store is next door or just down the street from the office.

Faces, not feet, should be the focal point in business so chose conservative shoes. A low heel is more professional than flats or high heels. In spite of current fashion and the sandal rage, open-toed or backless shoes are not office attire. Not only are sandals a safety hazard, they suggest a certain official agenda.

When it comes to accessories and jewelry, less is once again more. Keep it simple: one ring per hand, one earring per ear. Accessories should reflect your personality, not diminish your credibility.

Business attire is different from weekend and evening wear. Investing in a good business wardrobe is an investment in your professional future. For those who think it’s not what you wear but who you are that creates success, give that some more thought. Business skills and experience count, but so does personal appearance and that all-important first impression.

© 2005, Lydia Ramsey. All rights in all media reserved.

See Full PLR Article Here: A Clothes Encounter In The Business World