#working full time is so draining

[silvermizuki]

I wanna learn so much but have no time >:(

[viridian-house]

I want so desperately to finish this one, but life has other plans for me this month. I learned a ton while working on it, so fingers crossed I can pick the momentum back up in the future

sakura, from my fic series the slug & the stars

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: this got long sorry 😔 but creepy/perv bakugou, recording, film major bkg x art major reader, masturbation, coercion, dubcon before it just becomes con, voyeurism/exhibitionism

as an art major, you typically did some works for a few students on campus; for their plays, as background pieces while they danced, a cover for their released songs. it wasn’t out of the ordinary for people to ask you to create something for them, and you enjoyed it more often than not. but, you weren’t usually the art itself.

Bakugou is a friend’s friend that you’ve seen a few times, ran into at the library or at coffee shops. he’s a film major, and always looks so unhappy about the whole thing, as if he didn’t choose it himself. you joke to Mina that you think he’ll graduate and become one of those directors that hate everything and yell at the actors constantly and later on get sued for being a dickhead. you never say it to him though—you’ve never spoken more than a couple words to the man.

it’s why it shocks you when he approaches you one day. it’s after one of your painting classes, and he stands outside the door with a frown and his hands shoved in his pockets, his eyebrows scrunched as if pissed at the mere sight of you. he asks you, in that low and gruff tone of his, if you could star in his final project for the semester. says it’s supposed to be a film made with this criteria and that, but, you’ve kind of checked out on the conversation after the first sentence.

“You mean, you want me to create something and that be the star of your film?” you ask him, feeling so intimidated at his stature. he always seems to loom, his hair shadowing the lights above, creates a cast over a portion of his face, makes his eyes look…unsettling. like they’re looking straight through your flesh, can find the marrow in your bones. he scoffs like you’ve offended him, rolling his eyes into his skull, mouth pulled tight.

“No.” his voice is firm, gaze concentrated only on you, like the halls are empty and you’re the focus of his lens. “I want you to star in it.”

his words confuse you—you’ve never presented yourself as an actor before, never alluded to wanting to be in the spotlight if not for what you create with your hands. but he shuffles on his feet, looks desperate even. there’s some hemming and hawing for a minute or so—why not choose Mina?—she’s busy—why choose me?—‘cause you’d be perfect for my short film—what’s it about?—you’ll find out once you get the script.

and even after you hesitantly agree and get the script—you still don’t understand what you’re doing. why you’re here, why you’re the only person, why it has to be a solo film, why there’s damn near zero lines in the entirety of the have-to-be forty five minute film.

the scenes are all so long, and maybe it’s because movies aren’t your forte or chosen major, but you just don’t get it. one scene; you’re staring at yourself in the mirror while Bakugou holds a small, black camera over your shoulder. he’s eerily quiet behind you, whispers out a faint fuckin’ go when you have to wash your face in the sink, makes you do it over because your movements are too jerky and unnatural.

the rest of the scenes go that way; you doing regular at home activities, being put under a lens, quietly barked at to do this and move that way and fix your hair and remember to frown.

“Isn’t there another way to film this?” you ask him on the fifth day of shooting in his spacious loft. there’s a bubble bath scene coming up, one you dont understand the importance of, but Bakugou tells you it’s the most necessary part of the entire thing.

“No,” he grunts out, looking at you from under his lashes as he sits on the lid of the toilet. “But I’ll make it soapy, so the camera won’t see much.” the camera? much? you weren’t worried so much about what the camera captured as you were the man behind it. he looks at you with such intensity, you feel naked already despite the robe you wear that’s suspiciously already your size.

he leaves the bathroom when you sink in the hot water, returns before you can say it’s okay, hears the water splashing and thinks that’s good enough. he kneels on the floor beside you, camera pointed directly in your face, makes your chest hot and your skin feel prickly. the scene passes on regularly enough; you run the water over your arms, tilt your head back as you sigh, whisper the few lines scripted, lean back and close your eyes, sigh again. it’s almost relaxing, makes you forget about the friend of a friend recording you naked right now. almost.

“Touch yourself.” Bakugou suddenly demands, hushed and quiet behind the camera. your eyes immediately shoot open, looking to him in question, how he’s eerily still in his spot hovering over you.

“Huh?” you ask, unsure if you heard him correctly, looking around the rounded lens in your face, trying to ignore the red blinking light. but Bakugou only frowns.

“It’s a masturbation scene. Touch yourself.” he repeats, voice louder, more demanding this time. your stomach twists at the thought of doing something so intimate in front of him. he’s a handsome guy, for sure, even made you consider asking him out after this, figured he was just serious about his work and awkward about certain things. but…something had been off about this entire thing since the start.

“But—but I don’t, I’m not,” you stutter, sitting up a little, the bubbles covering your chest starting to disperse with your movements. but Bakugou only sits a little higher on his knees, finally pulling the camera away from his face for the first time since he’s asked you to do this for him.

“You want me to fail?” he asks, booming voice eerily quiet in the silent bathroom, carmine eyes dull, shaded over with something terrible. “Then do it.” he tells you when you shake your head quickly.

you stare at him until he gets back into position again, camera back pointed at you. when he doesn’t say anything else, you swallow thickly, wondering if the art that will come out of this will be worth it. so you listen, sneak a hand under the water, start touching yourself in a way you never have in front of anyone.

is it bad to say that it’s exhilarating? being watched and recorded by someone who breathes so heavily every time your voice hiccups? being directed to touch your chest next when the suds start to disappear and your nipples start to peek through? is it bad that you want him to send you this portion of his film, only, just so you can watch yourself again and again? make a portrait of yourself with your fingers on your nipples and your knees raising from the water and your head thrown back from the intensity in oil pastels?

“That’s a wrap.” Bakugou announces when you finish, head spinning and still panting. you look over to him, how he closes the camera, the obvious bulge in his pants. “I’ll get you a towel.”

you wonder when’s the next time he’ll need you. or better yet—maybe he could be the star in your final drawing project? you had finished it already but, what was the harm in starting over with him as your muse? as naked as you are? camera not blocking his face so you can paint the similarities of his blushing cheeks and eyes when you direct him to look at you? to touch his chest? to play with himself just like that?

[breedingboy-jay]

Sorry for not being active like before. Started going back to work a few weeks ago for the first time in a while and they put me in a new position and it is... Extremely draining. Lots of talking and my social battery isnt big. I haven't really opened the app much because of it, let alone have the energy to respond and write stuff.

Ive also changed my name and I am trying to get all of that sorted out, which isn't helping lol I'll try my best to respond to stuff eventually but. Yeah.

Feel free to send in asks if you'd like! I am in no way trying to discourage that, just please don't expect a response very soon lol

[kyunsies]

hello friends it’s been a month i hope you’re doing well <3

[arvandus]

One thing I’m feeling right now is the burnout of constantly being responsible for the care of others. I’m a stay at home wife/mom/daughter who’s managing a household with multiple generations in it (plus a dog) while also trying to build up my career and get back to work on the sides and I’m le tired.

I think this is why I’m loving Barbatos so much right now… because he would take care of ME (and of course I’d take care of him in return, as much as he’d let me at least).

I’m really in my ‘Acts of Service as a love language’ era right now…

[r2y9s-notartblog]

Yooo you played in the school orchestra? What instrument(s) do you play? :D

i'm not in school anymore (that was years ago) but i went down the piano -> violin -> string bass -> cello pipeline! still have my 19 year old cello (mikey) and my 22 year old violin (sherry). i play them every now and then when i have the time :)

[augustinewrites]

i am so sorry for being so behind on asks 😭 i am gonna try to get through them this week as best i can over the next few days

i appreciate every ask i get, whether it’s a little blurb or questions about the fushigojos or a kind comment! if you haven’t been told today, please remember that you are so so loved and appreciated!

[conschintz]

little update: i'm still alive and still okay. someone seems to have taught my dad about internet filters, so tumblr is pretty much the only thing i can get on as of right now. discord and instagram are no-gos. verses friends—thank you so much to whoever submitted dbf to the review exchange. i really needed that. miri, you're an angel. thank you. miss you all 🫶🫶

[paleiido]

Trying to learn new programs like they all want me to die personally

[limerental]

now that i finished that "short, quick fic" that ended up being 23k and taking a month and a half to write i have several options

write the triss pov modern au lotl ending parallel fic that's horrible and messy and sad and hurt no comfort and grief-heavy and there's merihart and triss/fringilla and triss/dijkstra and

write another roche fic. fucking hell. fuck this guy fucking anyway iorveth/roche fic where they're both captured by a nilfgaardian slave caravan and slowly forcibly bond as they're marched south but also it's gorey and visceral and very close in narrow focus and there's many bodily realities and fluids but not in the sexy way at all even a little. it'd be sensory detail whump heavy but in the worst horriblest way.

write some shorter stuff instead just 4 fun

not write anything because i'm about to head into a chaotic greenhouse spring and i need my weekends to recuperate and survive and get any house or yardwork done ever

[hystericfae]

I feel like an angry father rn

[oceanmoss]

really fucking hate my family sometimes . which is normal i imagine . but i can't keep witnessing some of this shit i also can't keep ranting about it or getting super angry about it bc that doesn't lead anywhere i just burn for no benefit . and i keep saying the same things over and over again and i either get labelled as insane feminist or silly girl with unreasonable anger or whatever. which just sucks so much but i also really don't know how to control my rage so it's gonna keep happening anyway 👍 all i'm gonna say is they ruin every single summer and whenever summer starts i remember why i can't fucking stand it

[sprinklethetangerine]

I think this is a pretty reasonable situation to cry in, right?

[guinevereslancelot]

i know people need to work and have jobs for society to function but i should be exempt from that bc i don't wanna do work..........food for thought

[k-atsukibakugou]

i want to be a gym girlie so badly but i cannot keep up with these hobbies and a job 😭