#work wives verse

[lunacias]

but we'll never be rid of each other

[britneyshakespeare]

Henry VIII is not a very good play

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

the way Pearl instantly slammed down her "check out Marina she's so ***ing AWESOME" line so fast and it's the smoothest verse she spits in the rap battle-

she was SO READY to gush about Marina she was SO THERE for the chance and when it came she didn't even have to THINK

her going from casual barely-worth-my-time roasts and boasts (talking over Frye's turn like she isn't even there) to 'did you just call marina an imaginary friend?? YO ARE YOU CRAZY SHES AMAZING'

and THEN instead of getting defensive or pissed at Frye's 'oh so she's your groupie' jab she just turns hype man literally goes AS IF! LISTEN TO THIS! before bowing out so Marina can freeze Shiver solid by cheerfully taking every passive aggressive compliment from Shiver with a smile, a hearts eyes emoji, and an uno reverse card

Shiver: "Your voice is so haunting (possibly in a bad way) must be nice for your fans (implying it isn't so nice for anyone else)"

Marina, mimicking Shiver's singing: "You're far too kind! (i see you insulting me on the sly) Love your vibe! (that's very cute~) I can learn so much from your style! (i'll give you a taste of your own medicine if you want me to~)"

Shiver: "You remind me of my neighbor's daughter- (grow up) what do they say? Octo see octo do? (stop copying me)"

Marina: "Glad you approve- (im rubber you're glue) your praise has left me moved (not saying what KIND of moved tho). Thanks to your notes (you decide if i mean your feedback or your actual ability to hit musical notes) I'll find my own groove! (you're not actually worth copying for real~)"

Shiver: "Oh, look at the time. Isn't it getting late? (if you keep acting like a kid im going to treat you like one)"

Marina: "Not at all! I could go on like this all night long. (what do you mean? im having so much fun right now!) (oh but is this hard for you? ...do YOU need a break...?)"

and then Pearl barges in with a HOW'S THAT? YOU HAD ENOUGH YET??????

like kudos to Shiver and Frye for laying out some slick jabs, but they were working as two solo acts and didn't have a power couple combo move to counter Pearlina's with m(_ _)m ....they spent the whole time on offensive defense, trying to inflict some deep lyrical cuts while Pearl and Marina were happily tossing out hooks and reeling in fresh lines as they floated high up above on their dumb little rainbow cloud together

legit Pearl's only real reaction to Frye is her going <3 <3 <3 at Marina, and Marina not even treating Shiver as someone she needs to fight with while Shiver repeatedly tries poking at her, which Pearl sees and just effing LOVES ....amazing.......

no matter who you think rapped better, it's pretty clear which pair had the most fun and got the most kicks out of this (the wives)

WHICH IS EVEN FUNNIER BC IT'S HONEST TO COD JUST FRYE BURSTING INTO OFF THE HOOK'S GREEN ROOM AND YELLING AT THEM FOR DARING TO HAVE A CONCERT IN HER TOWN ONLY TO GET SMACKED IN THE FACE BY A RAINBOW LASER BEAM OF GAY MUSIC I LOVE IT XD

[thevoidscreams]

If you're still taking requests, I have one you might like. Primarchs admitting to their new wives that they've never had sex before. Let's see the boys and nervous virgins >:3c

Day four of Mating Press March

I'm picking Vulkan, Sanguinius, Magnus, and Ferrus for this. I hope that selection pleases.

Warnings for mentions of first times sex and blushy primarchs

Paring: primarchs x reader

"So, I'm all yours now. How would you like to have me?" You asked, smiling lovingly up at your towering husband.

Vulkan:

He swallowed hard as you crawled up his body to rest on his chest. He averted his firey red gaze, embarrassed by what he had to tell you.

"I..well I am unsure." He told you.

"Wait, have you never..?" You let the question hang in the air unfinished. Letting him decide if he wanted to finish it.

"I have not been with another, no. It was not for lack of interest, especially with you, my flame." He sighed. "But there was never a good time or opportunity. And as I grew and I became responsible for my sons." He voice trailed off and your hands cupped his cheeks. You were only a bit surprised by this. He was such a busy man.

"Well then, I would happily be your first." You kissed his nose and he wrapped his arms around you.

"Thank you. I would have you be my first and only one, though."

Your heart melted faster than a snowball on Nocturn. "Well, duh. I'm your wife now. I'd sure hope I'd be your only." His smile could have lit up half of Nostromos for how brilliant it was.

"How right you are, my flame. Please, will you guide me. I do not wish you hurt you, especially not on the night of our wedding." He appealed, and you were happy to oblige. How could you not for your beloved lord of drakes.

Sanguinius:

He turned away as you asked him. He was trying to figure out how to answer without leaving you hanging.

You hardly noticed as your angel looked so perfect as he shed his armor for you for the first time. He'd look nothing short of divine in his ceremonial armor. You could hardly pull your eyes away from him.

The celebration after had also been an absolute pleasure, and many of your new 'sons' had come to congratulate you and Sanguinius on your nuptials.

Your eyes trailed up his sculpted naked form. He was perfect. As much as any person could be, you thought. But your eyes stopped on his face. He looked distracted and even nervous.

Your hand reached for his taking it and holding it close to your chest. "What troubles you, my angel?"

He took a deep breath, his cheeks reddening as he searched for the words. "I am.." He took a moment before continuing. "I am well versed in many things. But this is not one of them, my dove."

He kneeled on the bed, still a good deal taller than you. "Well, I don't have much experience either. But between the two of us, I am sure we can combine what we know to figure it out." You offered sweetly.

Sanguinius swallowed down his nervousness. His eyes trailing over your form and the bridal lingerie you'd chosen for the evening 'conclusion'. And he felt excitement flowing through his veins. A hunger like he'd never had before.

He raised your hand to his lips, placing a kiss on them. "What I mean to say, my dove, is that I've never.. I've never been with anyone in this way."

The realization dawned on you and you felt a bit silly.

"Well, if you want, I take what little I know, and we can work it out as we go."

He nodded. "Yes, I would like that very much. Thank you." You opened your arms to him, and he hugged you close. Wrapping you up in his wings.

It didn't take you all night to figure it out. Sanguinius was a quick learner, and you were more than ready to take a trip to heaven with your angel.

Magnus:

You set your brush aside and ran your fingers through Magnus’s bountiful red locks. "There, all smooth and brushed."

A bath had been quite necessary after your wedding. After you and your newly we'd husband had been the target of piece of cake, courtesy of his brother Leman. But it'd all been in good fun and your dress wasn't ruined, which you were grateful for.

Magnus sighed and turned to face you. His single eye shone brighter as he saw you. "Thank you it is always better when you brush it."

"You cupped his cheeks as you slid into his lap. He was smaller than he'd been earlier, just a bit larger than the average human man. At least it would make things a bit easier. His lips met yours, pouring as much love as he could into the gesture. You melted against him. Delighting in your first proper kiss since the ceremony.

Several minutes passed in that sense of bliss until you had to pull away for a breath, your face flushed, and you bit your lip. Quietly, you asked him, excited to consummate your marriage. Magnus also flushed, but unlike you, his blush seemed to be one of embarrassment.

He rested his chin atop your head and hugged you. His twin hearts beating faster.

"I-I do not know." He stammered.

You pulled away quickly, looking up at his face, and saw a deep sense of uncertainty.

"I'm sorry, I mean, we don't have to if you're not interested. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Magnus quickly took your face in his large hands and gasped out an urgent but sincere "No."

That gave you pause, and you felt confused. "No?"

"What I meant," Magnus quickly amended, "is I don't know what I would like."

Still you were partly confused as you tried to piece things together in your mind. "We've talked about some things in the past. Things involving bedroom activities."

You felt stumped as your large and immensely powerful husband fidgeted.

"Magnus, please just tell me what's up."

He looked down at you and felt as well as saw the shift in your aura from arousal and excitement to worry and fear. His hearts clenched, knowing he'd caused you those feelings, and he figured if he couldn't put his pride aside for you, then he wasn't worthy of calling himself your husband.

"I'm a virgin." He blurted out. You looked at him dumbfounded. "My knowledge of sex has been, up till now, purely academic. And I was worried to tell you because I did not want you to think lesser or incapable."

Your opinion of him really did matter yo Jim more than he cared to admit. He was startled when a light chuckle broke from your lips.

"Oh Maggy, no, why would I ever think less of you for that? I mean, I am a bit surprised, though." He wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Why would you be surprised? I'm not like most men after all."

You gave him a shrug. "Exactly. I mean, look at you. You're the most amazingly beautiful man I've ever seen, and you're smart on top of that. You're incredible. I'm shocked you haven't, up until now."

Magnus smiled and nuzzled his nose against yours. "Maybe I was just waiting for my perfect match."

You felt warmth surge in your chest and sighed. "Would you like to just start slow and see where that takes us?"

Magnus nodded, pulling the ties holding your robe in place until he could slip it off. "Yes, I would like that very much."

Ferrus:

The bathroom door creaked open softly as Ferrus stepped out, garbed in nothing but a towel. He'd insisted on rinsing away the sweat of the day so he could be fresh for you before you spent your first night together as husband and wife.

In truth, Ferrus was gathering himself. Collecting his thoughts and trying to calm his pounding hearts. He saw you laid out on the bed and was uncharacteristically uncertain. His gleaming metallic hands held the towel even more firmly. You were a vision, the women he loved and the one he wished to bear his blooded sons.

Stepping up to the bed, Ferrus watched you raise your hands to invite him to join you. Your voice carried up to him, saccharine and warm.

"There is something I must confess." He admitted m, not allowing himself to hide the truth any longer.

His normally pale cheeks colored ever so slightly.

"What is it?" You asked. Ferrus sat on the edge of the bed.

"I have never been intimate with anyone before. I have had opportunities in the past. But I did not."

You took his words in and nodded. Not so much surprised but curious you asked. "Why not?"

Ferrus met your eyes and lifted one hand to tilt your chin up, his fingers so big compared to yours, and you placed a hand on his wrist.

"I have never wanted to before. You are the only one I have ever found to make me feel otherwise."

Your lips curled up in a gentle smile. "You're the only one I want to be with as well."

Ferrus nodded, and a rare ghost of a smile graced his lips.

"I will do my best to be as gentle as I can."

"I know. I trust you, and we'll figure this out together." You freed your chin from his hand and crawled into his lap to kiss him.

His lips were bigger than yours, but you made it work. And you would always make it work. Because he was worth it.

[jainydoe]

Misdirection, Ch. 1

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 the sugar daddy au I promised...

This is not a love story. 

That’s not how he looks at it, anyway. 

Because he is, at his core, a hopeless romantic. Devout in his worship. Ever since he could twirl a flower and tuck it behind someone’s ear, he’s kneeled, their bodies his altar, every act of service his own type of prayer. In his youth, he couldn’t go days without it. After his classes, then in between classes, then sometimes, under the table, one hand writing notes, the other up a girl’s skirt, he’d whisper covenants in their ears, verses upon verses of the old poets and the new on how their beauty would snuff him out right there. It’s why he’s got his sights set on the Bureau - boots on the ground, hands in the dirt, paid to bring justice for souls ripped before their time. There’s nothing more terrifying than death - and in that, there’s nothing as seductive.

Then he gets to college and meets Johanna. The ultimate love story. Boy meets girl. Girl convinces boy the best solution to their raging hormones is a casual sexuationship where he can rail her and make her cum as much as he wants and he’ll let her cheat off their orgo and anatomy exams as payment. Boy is stupid enough to fall in love with girl and she’s bored enough by the rest of the riffraff to actually marry him. 

In a shock to all, girl runs off and leaves boy with a baby, a soft little thing with grabby fingers and a gummy smile. He ignores the fact he has her eyes. Tells himself it doesn’t make him love him any less. As if branded and bruised, he can’t bring himself back to church. Not for a while. Not until the sting wears off. He tries meeting men at bars, women at libraries. He smiles and kisses hands and hopes they can see in his demeanor that he’s a man of faith. But maybe they aren’t believers. Maybe they find him dumb and naive. He’s flailing. Begging. Deranged. The spare times once or twice a year, eventually, that he’s pitied enough to be dragged to some hotel room, the Single Dad, the Divorcee, he’s gone for hours, babbling praise and praying on high that he hopes this will work, that this will make them stay, his devotion, his care. Everyone wants passion until it’s from Emmrich, it seems. 

When he turns forty six, it marks a full year since the last time he’s had someone, and maybe it’s the time to reflect, but it’s allowed his allegiance to rot into hate. He’s a prude, now. A stiff. He’s always looked down on his colleagues who, in their happy marriages with their happy wives and happy lives, live in secret disgust, wasting away their bodies and wallets on themselves. Agnostics. Romantic on the holidays. Phonies. 

It takes years to beat the love out of him. He’s celibate. He’s focused on fatherhood. He’s hardwired into work, the tsunami inside washing itself over the lives that intersect his area of expertise. He’s promoted. Then promoted, again. He’s at the top of his game. He’s the shit. He’s working 36 hours a week with the Bureau, and teaching at Nevarra U., and his students adore him, and the faculty worship him, and he tells himself this kind of love is enough. He’s Mr. FBI, Mr. PTA, Dr. Genius, and nothing and no one will have him on his knees ever again. 

Then he runs into Archibald at the annual faculty gala. 

SUBJECT: CLICK NOW for HOT Singles in YOUR AREA! XXX

Archibald Battenberg, PhD, JSD <abattenberg@nu.edu>

to evolkarin

Hey old pal,

Glad to have run into you. Mimi thought you were quite the charmer - just like old times, right? If you’re interested in other girls like her (or even her for that matter I’m all for liberation and whatever) I’ve included the link below. I’m sure you’ll pick a winner from the litter. Let’s get drinks, yeah? Celebrate the divorce? On me.

- Archie https://msdirection.com/ The code is SUGAR4BABY

Archibald was a fuck-wit and a menace. Had been since college. But Emmrich was notorious for skipping things ever since Manfred - really, ever since Johanna - and he wasn’t gonna go to the gala, seriously, but then he had a glass, then another, then Myrna called his private landline and there he was, cocktail in hand, counting the minutes until his alarm would indicate it’s time to vaporize into the night. As he’s nursing his manhattan and ignoring eye contact with the dean, he spots a woman, satin and sleek, a pampered panther in a sea of slippery sea beasts. She’s not a believer, he can tell, but the way she’s looking at him - she sees him for what he is and slinks his way before he could protest. They shake hands and she speaks eight languages and compliments his watch. Says she likes men who appreciate the real deal. He laughed in that breathless way he does when he’s shocked and on edge, watching her blunt hair frame her jaw in a way that made her attention all the more cutting and examining. Like a surgeon assessing their canvas. When he learned she was on the arm of Sloppy Archie-berg, he was a bit stunned. With Archibald’s signature ham-fisted tie, hoggish way of holding himself - Emmrich was pretty sure he didn’t even own conditioner. It was only once his date excused herself, though, that he’d revealed her secret. That Miss Mimi was a creature of the night. A call-girl , he called her, and Emmrich could tell Archie felt naughty even saying it. Like a child admitting they’d eaten sugar before bed. When Mimi returns and kisses Archibald’s cheek, Emmrich aches. Not for her, but for God. For the light of eternal delight to shine on his lips once again. He used to consider Johanna’s mouth the kingdom of heaven, and wonders, for the first time, if he’s been a misled fool. 

He couldn’t remember a time when he ever found Archibald charming, but when Save-the-Dates went out for the big Volkarin-Hezenkoss wedding, he was the only one to respond with condolences. Emmrich decides to email back a yes to drinks and notably forgets all about Mimi and her company until the postcard from Antiva arrives in his mailbox. 

Dear E,

Fuck you. I miss you. I’m moving back to the area. Say hi to the little guy for me.

Rot in hell,

J

There’s a verse he thinks of, about how the armor of God will protect you from the devil’s wiles, and maybe, he considers, God’s armor could be purchased through a subscription to Ms. Direction’s. It has to be. Because, for once, here are women who want it. Who want him. A man willing to tithe. This is for the Real Deal, he thinks. Not pussy-footing, quick-fuck, cheap-date juveniles. He’s dizzy as he locks the study door, Manfred in bed, all the lights out, and stares at his laptop as if it will begin whispering a beckoning call. Emmrich, come quick, come now, come enter your credit card information. 

He does. 

In a manner almost chaste and sweet, the website is basic. Bare-bones. He appreciates it. The way the black background and red font make it clear you’re here for sex. It’s been years since he’s let his eyes roam over others, and, for a quick moment, he thinks it’s a bad idea. Shallow biographies. Stupid usernames. Feet? Maybe he’s too old. Maybe he’s too tired. He’s on page four, wind wiped out, he doesn’t investigate why he thought Ms. Direction would have a slew of Nice Girls waiting, hands outstretched. If that hand were holding a crop, however. He crosses his legs and continues perusing the digital classifieds, willing himself to focus. Eventually, that leads to work-brain. He reminds himself these women aren’t in danger. They’re not minors. This isn’t illegal. His eyes gloss over in boredom. 

MARIANNE, 19 Looking for a stud to treat me like a princess.

JULIA, 29 Just a naughty girl who needs to be punished. 

RAVEN, 25 Let me treat you like filth-

He actually does click on her profile. But as he looks through her photos, sees her bedroom, the clothing on the floor and vat of lube - he wishes her well and leaves with a feeling of murky disgust. 

It’s as he’s exiting her profile, deciding to exit the site altogether and possibly consider asking for a refund that he spots her. 

Her. 

It’s straightforward. A photo of her face. She calls herself Rook. Doesn’t explain why. She needs money for rent and is hoping to spend time with someone interesting. He can be interesting. If he tries. In that moment, he’s twenty again, looking purposefully at a girl’s mouth, then in her eyes, asking if she believes in the afterlife. Of hauntings. Of spirits and the occult and drawing little symbols on her palm that, according to legend, will connect her more deeply with the beyond. 

He types a message. 

Dear Rook,

You seem pretty interesting, yourself. I’m, certainly, interested in learning more. Would coffee be of interest?

For fuck’s sake, stop using the word interesting. You’re a doctor. Be eloquent. Fuck.

Dear Rook,

Coffee?

Too chaste. This is a stranger. 

Rook,

No. 

Darling Rook,

God.

Dear Rook,

I’m interested. Wanna get coffee?

Emmrich

He clicks send and feels the air rush out of chest as if sucked up by some phantasmal vacuum. He shuts off the laptop, tosses it on his desk and quickly paces up the stairs to his bedroom, working a knot into his robe. This is about as daring as he’s been since signing up for the gym membership, and we all know how that went. 

The next morning passes quickly. Daycare then a morning class on elementary forensics then a quick lap on the track at the academy. He’s catching his breath, gulping down an icy reprieve when an email comes in. 

SUBJECT: Re: Message to rookie24

His phone slips out of his hand, falling face down onto the grass. A student looks his way. He waves a hello, beginning to itch all over. His fingers shake as he opens the message.

Hi handsome,

Coffee sounds good. I’ll be at Crossroads by Fade Ave at noon this Saturday. Hope to see you there.

Rook x

He knows that means a kiss. He feels it, too. Standing there, sweaty and pulsing, he feels his heart rate quicken even more at the promise of something over the weekend. A date. A cheap miracle.

–

“You have got to be KIDDING ME,” she yells, ignoring the passerbyers and scared parents, beginning to grip their children tighter. She’s not one for making a scene, especially on the train, but this is the final straw. 

Her medical bill is thousands. For an IV and aspirin and sitting in a cot. Look, hindsight, twenty-twenty, blah blah blah, point is she thought maybe fighting people for money could be a good way to get the bills paid. Taash said so, themself. And Lucanis and Davrin taught her how to properly throw a shank into someone’s side. And she wasn’t even that hurt, ultimately, but she did black out after Rowdy Regina Rockhouse (stupid name) got her in the back of Bellara’s Suburu and icing herself in the ER until 3am. She’s made a list on her fridge of sure-fire ways to get money without signing up for a third job or selling body parts. But after crossing out Underground Fight Club , she writes in gently, small, at the bottom ask Neve about selling body parts. Thankfully, she has lunch with Bell before giving Neve a call. 

“I’m, like, poor. For a while, I thought I was poor, now I realize I wasn’t. This is it. And shut the fuck up, I know you’re gonna say some shit about rock bottom, going up and whatever, I don’t wanna hear it.” 

Bellara is sympathetic in a way that’s not suffocating. Rook loves her for it. Trusts her for the life she’s lived that should’ve made her jaded, but didn’t. Maybe it’s that trust that has her not totally dismissing Bellara and calling her immediately crazy for her suggestion. 

“You could always join a dating site.”

“I beg your pardon?”

She twirls a stick of honey in her tea, looking at the patrons surrounding them. “Check out that couple. That guy just bought her a pastry and latte. They look so happy. Maybe, oh, I don’t know, maybe meeting someone nice could help distract from all the ugliness?”

“You want me to whore myself for pastries.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I’m gonna have to beg Mauricio to not evict me for the third month in a row and you think pastries and dick will fix that.”

“I’m not trying to minimize your issues, Rook, I mean, I can help with your bills for a little, or you could come stay with me, maybe, you know I don’t mind,”

“I don’t want you like that, Bel. You have a great ass, don’t get me wrong,”

“Rook,”

“But if I’m gonna be giving out the sugar, I’m gonna need some considerable sugar to make up for it. Oodles of sugar. Like, piles.”

“I don’t know how to talk with you when you’re like this.”

“You’re a genius, Bel.” She kisses her on the forehead and steals her apple turnover, taking a chomping bite as she makes her way to the exit. “Sugar for sugar, Belly baby.”

It takes about a half hour of careful research before she finds the perfect site. It even looks sexy. Catered towards brats and babies to be worshipped. She snorts. She’ll bite. She’ll fashion herself the nymphette of some old guy’s fantasy if it means paying off a credit card, or two. Hell, she’s fucked uglier men for less benefits. She tells herself this will be a cake walk. 

She tries taking photos. Lacy edits of her with big eyes and red lips, but the thought of attracting anyone with it makes her nauseous. She figures her face will do. They’ll be looking at it a lot, probably, may as well see it for all it’s worth. She chooses one where she’s smiling and not still bruised from Raging Re-bitch-a-zilla Rockfart and calls it a day. No one will message her. She’ll forget she made the account. She will show up on Lucanis’ doorstep and promise him her firstborn in exchange for a roof over her head and possible bodyguard duties, because Mauricio will threaten her life in a week. It’s two in the morning and she’s almost finished with the final episode of Love is Kind when she gets a message. He doesn’t have a profile photo. He’s messaging potential cash-sluts past midnight. All signs say Do Not Interact. Which is why she brings it to Neve. 

“Jesus, Rook, is it really that bad?”

She squints at her, knocking back a shot of bourbon and ignoring the way her throat widens up into a retch. “Was the direness of my situation not clear when I joined Taash’s fucking fight club? Or did that nude modeling bullshit? Or that outward-bound type camping gig where I slugged tents and crap for Lace?”

“It was very sweet of you to help those kids.”

“Yeah, well, now I need help.” She twirls the bottom of her glass against Neve’s desk. It’s ten in the morning but Neve doesn’t mind. She never does. Rook doesn’t know if it makes her feel better or worse. “Besides, some of those kids might be my competition now for cradle-robber-cock.”

“I don’t think your new friend will want you to call him, or it , that. Besides, he seems to like your profile. I say just go for it.” Rook shifts in her seat. “What’s stopping you?”

Nothing. Everything. This would be another person to disappoint. Another crutch. Another life she ruins. Neve is a mind-reader. “Stop being melodramatic, Rook.” She takes her hand, offering her quintessential, moody smile. “Whoever this Emmrich is, I’m sure he’s a big boy who can handle the likes of you.”

She messages him back. 

–

Saturday arrives and a pile of clothes sits on Emmrich’s bed, vests and trousers splayed as he stands in the mirror, posing. 

I look like hot, wet shit. 

He grabs at his hair, pulling, eyes closed and breath slowing. This is fine. He’s fine. It’s just coffee. Something he drinks often. 

This is meant to be pleasurable. 

He holds that to his chest as he begins the ritual of preparing to leave the house. Lotions. Colognes. Hair gel and face creams. Would she like the way he smells? Does she hate facial hair? Or neckties? Or kids? 

Saturday arrives and a pile of clothes sits on Rook’s floor. Is this the kind of guy who would want her in a dress? Should she wear black? Or something bright? Is this an interview? Should she shave? She calls Bellara and Davrin, hoping for a balanced review. They can’t agree on an outfit. She feels like hot, wet shit. Then comes the text from Lace. I’m stranded in the middle of Arlathan but Bell’s at work and I know you live close to the lab so I was wondering if maybe you’d possibly rescue me? Also Bellara’s agreed and Taash is here, too.

Rook is used to playing the hero. It’s the role she’s been cast in for years. But in this moment, she hates Lace Harding. She hopes her and Taash get stampeded. Or that they drown. These images provide comfort as she begins the trek to Bellara’s 2011 chariot. She’s never been a romantic. But for once, she feels truly hopeless.

[theholmwoodfoundation]

THE HOLMWOOD FOUNDATION SEASON ONE SUPPORTING CAST

BASIL WAITE - THOMAS VAN HELSING

Basil is a puppeteer and puppet builder, who currently lives by the sea in rainy South Wales. He is well-versed in performing without being seen, as he’s usually under a table or behind a desk, so this project will be a lot more comfortable…! When he’s not making creatures from fleece or doing silly voices, he’s usually listening to an audio book or podcast, so he’s thrilled to be involved with this amazing project!”

MICHELLE KELLY - HENRI MARTIN

Michelle Kelly is an actor, voice actor and TTRPG performer based in Yorkshire, UK. You can hear her as Niyathi in The Secret of St Kilda, as Alexandria in Tales From the Fringes of Reality, and as multiple characters in The Silt Verses, Folxlore and Shadows at the Door. Find out more about her work at https://michellekellyperformance.carrd.co

JACKIE CALISTAHHH - ELENA

Jackie Calistahhh is an actress and seductress. She works in SFW and NSFW productions alike: Commercials, videogames, erotica. She loves immersing herself in different characters and worlds.

ROBYN HOLDAWAY - CAM

Robyn is a non-binary actor best known for their work as Layla in Netflix's 'Sex Education'. Their credits also include: AMC's 'Moonhaven', BBC's 'Strike: Lethal White', and various other stage and screen roles. Their audiobook work includes the award winning 'Our Wives Under the Sea', as well as critically acclaimed 'Sistersong', 'How To Understand Your Gender', and 'Skin'. Robyn can be heard in the audiodrama 'Camlann' and in the upcoming video game 'Eternal Strands'. They are an active member of the LGBTQ community, and they are passionate about bringing this diversity into the mainstream both as an artist and as an activist

DAVID AULT - DR TIMOTHY LAKE

David has played major roles for many productions, including his 'Best Actor' award-winning portrayal of Byron in The Byron Chronicles. He can also be heard at the No Sleep Podcast, Shadows at the Door and Colonial Radio Theatre, amongst others.

KARIM KRONFLI - DAVE

Karim has been a professional performer for over 30 years originally working as a juggler and firebreather. Trained as a Director and Voice Actor at City Lit in London he started doing voice work in 2010. Specialising in audio drama he has appeared in over 100 productions including Re: Dracula, The Magnus Archives, London After Midnight, SCP Archives, Dr Who: Redacted and many more.

CANDACE MCAFEE - MAGDALENA SWIFT

Candace the Magnificent (they/she) is an actor, TTRPG performer, and writer based in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. They love bringing their unique voice to a wide variety of projects, from commercials and animation to improv and audiodramas. You can hear more of their work in the upcoming video game Monaco 2, the cosmic horror audio drama Partial Veil, the actual play podcasts 3 Black Halflings and Frequencies, and many more. Learn more about her here: https://candacemcafee.carrd.co.

ANDREW BISS - JONATHAN HARKER 3RD

Andrew is an actor, voice actor and playwright, with an extensive background in theatre and film. Recent credits include the audio dramas ‘Station 151,’ ‘Vampire: The Masquerade Port Saga’ and the newly released ‘Clawmoor Heights’ as well as narrating the documentary series ‘Building Icons’ for Warner Bros. Discovery. He is the author of the best-selling book ‘Monologues They’ll Remember You By’ and is a graduate of the University of the Arts London and a member of the Dramatists Guild of America, Inc. More at: andrewbiss.com and adbvoiceover.com.

As always, you can listen to our pilot episode now for free at the link below. And please donate to our Kickstarter for Season One, if you're able!

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

HARRISON YEARNS FOR A PASTURE TO DO WHAT NOW IN

Harrison looks to his hands that now cradle Lonan’s skull against the cabinet. He feels strange, like an invisible man feeling matter for the first time. Water from the overflowing sink wets Lonan’s hair, drips down his chin, then off Harrison’s wrist—a sensation within a sensation within a sensation.

Like this, Lonan’s eyes raw as sockeye salmon and wide as plates, Harrison understands that just like Cael, Lonan is so young and so hurt. His stare, usually an abundant reel of pacific, is now hollow like a walnut dislodged of its fruit. His bones are fawny, face meek as a lamb’s under the polite knife of slaughter. He’s more motherless than Harrison’s even considered himself. The woman who raised him dead in the Midwest, the other who created him unwilling to remember his middle name. How unfair this all is, these wounded boys.

Now, suffering is a part of Lonan’s serenest face—stitched like gold into his eyebrows, twitching his lip. Tufts of his hacked hair poke into Harrison’s palm, and others are too short to reach. Harrison imagines how it got like that—truly imagines. Hands gripping strands by the root. A rusted pair of scissors, or maybe a knife, biting into the ends. How did Lonan feel, then? What words did he speak, and did he speak them to God? Cael had said something to Harrison in that dank church. My beloved is mine, and I am his; he grazes among the lilies. Somehow, somewhere, Harrison yearns for a pasture to love someone in.

I'm sorry but WHAT in the world IS THIS

From Feeding Habits (patched together from 2020-2022)

[asmimir]

fuck i cant get anything done the helluva boss cotl brainworms are too strong, if I were to rewrite the happenings of helluva but with cotl characters would you read it ramble below

Anyhow anyhow there would be a lot of changes obviously but I have to ramble abt the vision of IMP consisting of the Lamb, Ratau and Jalala/Rinor, with Ratau being the one to adopt the Lamb. there's gonna be a lot of switching around with dynamics and such since 1, I still want them to feel like the cotl characters we all know and love and 2 there are some tropes I don't approve of in the actual show and by some tropes i mean one trope- Forneus as Stella is difficult to imagine but I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT WORK TRUST GRAHH Andrealphus in this case would be Paean bc why not though I really see Kallamar in him it just wouldn't make any sense The seven deadly sins would be a bit tricky to figure out Shamura is easily Satan while the rest- im still unsure, Heket would be either Beelzebub or Asmodeus, Bee bc it falls in line with her domain, Asmodeus bc of personality, but then again, I planned Leshy to be Asmo bc of Leshycat, the yellow cat being a more tame version of Fizzaroli and such, plus Heket being bee and having her own tension with Forneus would be a lot more hrgehrgehgr to write Mammon, in this case, would probably be Kallamar since it kinda makes sense with vanity and whatnot, or, maybe Midas would be a better fit, Maybe Kallamar would take the role of Leviathan instead Verosika would either be Ruri (Doom and Shroom) or Nana (first verse) the Lamb certainly has a lotta wives Octavia in this case is most definitely Aym and Baal okay that should be it Im sorry for the long ramble but the brainworms are brainworming, hope u have a good night/day

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

The National Treasure Gazette Humbly Presents:

National Treasure: The Musical

I said what I said.

For reasons that have nothing to do with Wicked (2003) or Wicked (2024) (obviously I am lying) here we go:

INT. GATES FAMILY HOME LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

SONG: Treasure is a Myth

At the Gates’ family home YOUNG BEN sneaks away with the family album and his grandfather JOHN ADAMS GATES finds him and explains the legend of the treasure.

The ensemble—as all of the GATES MEN since and their WIVES—each give a quick verse about their search and continued hope that someday they will find the treasure.

The recurring motif here is 'Treasure is a myth…but I’ll find it.'

Until PATRICK GATES arrives to spoil things with a counter refrain, arguing that the treasure is a myth so move on and make something of your life.

The song ends with Patrick towing Young Ben off stage as he sings wistfully, “Treasure is a myth…but I’ll find it.”

EXT. ARCTIC CIRCLE - DAY

At the same time, adult BENJAMIN FRANKLIN GATES enters from the other side of the stage in snow gear.

He echoes “Treasure is a myth, but I’ll find it.”

END SONG

Then RILEY, IAN, and IAN’S CREW follow behind him in snow gear with metal detectors.

Join me in hallucinating the rest of Act I of National Treasure: The Musical!

↓ ↓ ↓

Riley and Powell have the “how does a ship wind up way out here?” exchange.

A metal detector BEEPS. Ben and Ian fall to their knees uncovering evidence of the Charlotte (pantomimed).

They file off stage and reappear…

INT. CHARLOTTE - DAY

…inside the frozen remains of the Charlotte. Some comedic exchanges from Riley before Ben finds the MEERSCHAUM PIPE. He reads the riddle and sits to figure it out.

SONG: Charlotte’s Riddle/So Close I Can Taste It

This is Ben’s I Want song. As he tries to work out the meaning of the riddle he reflects on how he finally has the next piece of the puzzle in his hands and we get to hear a little bit more about what that means to him.

This is an important character moment for Ben and the first time we really hear from him directly about why he wants to find the treasure.

It also personifies Charlotte briefly as a haunting female voice beckoning him to come find the treasure.

END SONG

Ben figures out the riddle and Ian suggests they borrow the Declaration.

SONG: Invested

Ian explains a bit about his backstory, how he’s done things like this before. His crew chimes, each listing a crime of heist they’ve been involved in. (Think the ‘meet the cooks’ montage from Ratatouille).

He emphasizes how much he's invested in this expedition--and in Ben-- and that he expects returns. He becomes increasingly agitated as Ben rejects his plans.

Ian laments what he’ll have to do to Ben. The song ends with him singing/saying “Now all you’ll be in a hindrance.”

END SONG

Ian orders Shaw to turn on Ben. Ben and Riley narrowly escape before the Charlotte explodes.

EXT. ARCTIC CIRCLE - DAY

Ben pulls Riley out of the literal trap door in the stage as they emerge from the ship.

Riley asks what they’ll do about Ian. Ben says they’ll stop him.

Riley says nobody will believe them, and anybody who’s crazy enough to believe them won’t help.

INT. NATIONAL ARCHIVES CURATORS OFFICE - DAY

We transition to the curator’s office where Abigail waits to greet Ben and Riley.

SONG: One Step Short of Crazy

The music begins as Abigail stands from her desk to shake the guys’ hands. They stay speaking as they exchange names and do the “Saxony German” bit.

After Abigail says, “Now, you told my assistant that this was an urgent matter?” the song begins in earnest.

This is a duet between Ben and Abigail as the both try to get what they want from the other: Ben wants access to the document and Abigail wants information.

The text of the song is “one step short of crazy” from both of them, because that’s what Ben is looking for, and what Abigail thinks Ben is.

The blocking here is that they step forward when they’re winning and back when they’re losing, so that they’re pushing each other around the stage and Riley is following along popping in and out around Ben whenever he has “helpful” information to add.

This number should be a bit flirty but make it clear that Abigail cannot be charmed. (yet).

It ends when Abigail sits back down at her desk and bids them good day. She has won.

END SONG

INT. NATIONAL ARCHIVES ROTUNDA - DAY

Ben and Riley look at the Declaration. Ben recites his favorite line. (“But when a long train of abuses…”)

SONG: One Step Short of Crazy (Reprise)

Ben reprises a few lines from One Step Short of Crazy as he is making a decision that is very much that.

END SONG

Then he speaks the line, “I’m gonna steal it. I’m gonna steal the Declaration of Independence."

INT. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS READING ROOM - DAY

Riley brings Ben into the Library of Congress to convince him that this is a bad idea. “Let me prove it to you.”

SONG: 2000 Ways This Could Go Wrong

Riley attempts to convince Ben that he cannot steal the Declaration of Independence. The ensembles appears as other LIBRARY PATRONS who get in on the song for musical reasons.

The text of the song is "There are 2000s ways this could go wrong" and they could be comedically listing all the ways Ben could get caught.

Riley and the ensemble seem to almost have Ben convinced when he brings up Thomas Edison.

The light bulbs line is spoken, but then Ben gets his own verse laying out the preservation room plan. The one way to make it work.

The song ends with Riley saying, “This could work.”

END SONG

INT. ABIGAIL’S OFFICE - NIGHT

Abigail is packing up for the night.

SONG: Hunting Down History

Abigail sings an I Want song of her own expressing her curiosity about Ben’s story and her wish that for once she’d like to be a part of something that mattered instead of on the sidelines studying it a hundred years later.

Her ASSISTANT enters with a package. (The One Step Short of Crazy theme play as she opens it.) Abigail reads the notes tells the audience it’s the George Washington button. She and the assistant discuss Ben for a few lines until Abigail realizes she’ll barely make it home to get ready and back in time for the gala.

That’s when the ALARM RINGS.

INT. PRESERVATION ROOM - NIGHT

Abigail and STAN (already in his tux) oversee at TECHS IN CLEAN ROOM GEAR move the document into the preservation room.

Stan gets a verse of Hunting Down History, hitting on Abigail and and asking if there’s anything between them.

Abigail declines and leaves.

Stan continues to lament her lack of attention as the set changes to…

INT. NATIONAL ARCHIVES ROTUNDA - NIGHT

…the rotunda, now dressed up for the gala. Ensemble is other PATRONS milling around the gala.

Abigail enters, having done a quick change into her gala outfit. She makes small talk as RILEY’S VOICE is heard from off stage.

He’s asking, “Ben, are you sure you want to do this—”

—when Ben enters the gala in his tux.

Riley comes to sit on the side of the stage with his headset and laptop. He’ll speak to Ben from here throughout the heist.

Ben finds Abigail, and hands her a glass of champagne.

Abigail sings one last verse about how maybe something interesting has found her after all.

END SONG

Abigail asks about the pipe that bigfoot took.

Stan joins them, a bit perturbed, and he and Ben go back and forth until Ben gives THE TOAST. (it's perfect--no notes)

Riley is talking throughout the scene.

Ben excuses himself. He holds up the glass to the audience and tells Riley he’s got the fingerprint.

INT. VAULT CORRIDOR/PRESERVATION ROOM - NIGHT

Ben appears at the top of some stage scaffolding where he uses the fingerprint and does the password thing. He and Riley exchange dialogue explaining how they’re using the button he sent to Abigail to do this, since we won’t see it well. Riley helps crack the password. Ben rides an elevator down to stage level.

SONG: [MAIN HEIST THEME TBD]

Meanwhile, Ian and his gang make their way up from the bottom of the stage knocking out guards and breaking through a series of movable doors that have been lined up in their way.

→ Riley comes in with a reprise of 2000 Ways This Could Go Wrong

Ben reaches the Declaration first. He’s in the process of removing it when Riley stands up because he’s lost the feed.

Ben leaves with the case as Ian arrives. Squibs go off, cracking the case.

Ben runs back to the elevator as the lights go dark.

INT. ROTUNDA - NIGHT

Riley: Ben? Ben, what was that?

Ben sneaks through the partygoers and is caught by the CASHIER, who charges him $35 for the “replica” Declaration. He fumbles to come up with the change and pays with a card.

→ Abigail spots Ben and comes in with a reprise of One Step Short of Crazy and/or Hunting Down History

Abigail chases after Ben…

EXT. NATIONAL ARCHIVES - NIGHT

… who rushes outside to meet Riley.

Meanwhile Ian and co climb up through the trapdoor with their gear.

Abigail accuses Ben of stealing it, he gives her the Declaration, and Ian’s crew grab her.

END SONG

INT/EXT. CATERING TRUCK

You know that? Fuck it, let’s do the catering truck scene.

I was gonna say this would be a more stage-friendly tug o’ war over Abigail and she ends up with Ben while the Declaration winds up with Ian. That’s the backup.

But as long as we’re hallucinating a Disney-backed musical, maybe we put the van and the catering truck on stage, yeah? We, the audience, are looking toward their open backs as the two vehicles bounce around. They’re on springs or something, sorry actors.

There’s lots of LIGHT AND SOUND EFFECTS to heighten the “chase,” which ends when Abigail jumps from one car to the other.

Ben and Abigail exchange a few lines of banter in the van before Ben asks Riley to pull over.

EXT. PARK - NIGHT

This scene will remain largely the same, but we’ll move more of the dialogue to the park so we can get out of the van set as quickly as possible. Without the chase it’ll feel weird.

The dialogue will be rearranged so it ends with Ben’s line: “Yeah but I didn’t think I was gonna personally have to tell my dad about it."

As he says this the set shifts and Patrick’s door appears behind him, so all he has to do is turn around to be confronted by it.

EXT. PATRICK’S DOOR - NIGHT

“Where’s the party?”

This remains largely the same. Patrick lets them in.

INT. GATES FAMILY HOUSE - NIGHT

Yes, as a fun easter egg we can use the same Gates family home set as the opening number, to both maximize set use and make my headcanon about the Gates family house canon. Cool.

SONG: The Real Gates Family Legacy

Patrick hopes this isn’t about the damn treasure. Obviously it is.

Ben and Patrick go back and forth about their mutual disappointment in each other. Patrick wants Ben to stop wasting his life on the same mistakes that he, Patrick, made, and Ben just wants his dad to believe in him.

Riley and Abigail get a quick verse about their observations of the pair, Riley from the POV of someone who knows a bit of their backstory (and might even share a line or two) and Abigail as someone who’s just meeting them.

Ends with Patrick giving up and saying, “Do what you want Ben.”

END SONG

Abigail raises the very real possibility that there isn’t another clue. Ben says they can find out right now.

SONG: Talk to Me

In this number (better title TK) Ben gets the lemons and basically asks the map makers/founding fathers to talk to him. Tell him the message he’s been waiting his whole life to hear.

Then Abigail stops him and insists on being the one to actually do the lemon-ing. Her verse is a bit more delicate, but she too is genuinely asking for the document to say something to her.

Their parts come together and then—nothing.

This is being visualized by a scrim at the back of the stage. It’s been there for other scenes, and is a sort of parchment texture, but it’s only as the song progresses that we the audience realize it’s changing.

Light effects will be used to turn the whole stage into a VISUALIZATION OF THE DECLARATION, matching what Ben and Abigail are doing at the table on stage. First come the faint stains of the lemon juice.

Then Patrick interrupts to tell them they need heat.

Ben and Abigail breath on the Declaration and the masonic compass flickers into view momentarily on the scrim.

“We need more juice.”

“We need more heat.”

They sing the next verse of the song together as more and more of the map becomes visible. They’re asking the map to talk to them, but subtextually also asking the same of each other.

Thematically the song is saying please tell me there’s something to this. tell me i’m not crazy; tell me I’m not alone.

→ the ensemble reappears as the Gates family ancestors

→ the Charlotte’s Riddle theme and voice reappears as well

→ Patrick joins in with a reprise of The Real Gates Family Legacy

→ Riley joins in with a few lines about how he can’t believe this is really happening

→ young ben reappears to reprise Treasure is a Myth

All of the voices combine into that delicious thing where everybody’s singing their Act I theme over each other (I really can't emphasize enough how much delight this trope brings me) as the extent of the cypher is revealed.

Riley: What is it?

Ben: (barely believing what he’s seeing) A treasure map.

END SONG

END ACT I

[fatherfigurefusion]

Randomly generating Ultimate Talents for the DRDT cast and ranking them on how fitting they are (Project: Eden's Garden Edition):

Teruko Tawaki, Ultimate Marksman

9/10: DRDT, if Teruko Tawaki had a gun. Also, the sharpshooter guy in altDRDT has to have some sort of connection to her.

Xander Matthews, Ultimate Influencer

4/10: While I could perhaps buy the idea of Xander using this platform for activism work, I feel like Xander would despise influencers like Kai.

Eden Tobisa, Ultimate Golfer

8/10: I could easily imagine Eden proudly wearing polos, cargo shorts, and a visor.

Hu Jing, Ultimate Fencer

8/10: One canon plus-sized icon as another! Also, I can easily imagine her educating some of the weaker characters on how to fence, "Do It for Him/Her" style. TerHuko being weapon wives perhaps?

J Moreno, Ultimate Lawyer

9/10: J would easily rock a suit, and their righteous attitude towards murder makes perfect sense for this talent. Also, just imagine @hayleymarriedjakurai yelling "Twenty-eight stab wounds!"

David Chiem, Ultimate Entrepreneur

8/10: "How Bad Can I Be?", but it's David slowly turning into Snapvid. (Also: Xander and David would be enemies in this 'verse).

Veronika Grebenschikova, Ultimate Matchmaker

9/10: Veronika wearing cutesy fashion, while admiring toxic and doomed yaoi/yuri? She will thrive in this 'verse!

Arturo Giles, Ultimate Historian

6/10: Arturo, but he idolizes people like Helen of Troy or Cleopatra.

Levi Fontana, Ultimate Pro Gamer

6/10: This is the second time Levi received the Ultimate Gamer, and I stand by my original opinion.

Ace Markey, Ultimate Liar

8/10: On the DRDT end? Not supported by canon Ace. On the P:EG end, works for delicious angst! (Spoilers, perhaps?)

Min Jeung, Ultimate Cosmetologist

3/10: Min doesn't really seem like the fashionable type. It's only really held up by the concept of her being friends/enemies/whatever with Influencer!Xander.

Whit Young, Ultimate Drag Racer

10/10: See Charles.

Charles Cuevas, Ultimate Music Producer

10/10: See Whit.

Arei Nageishi, Ultimate Ship Captain

8/10: Cue that one JArei pirate AU, by @hayleymarriedjakurai.

Nico Hakobyan, Ultimate Debater

7/10: On one end, Nico is overly concerned with making people angry at them. On the other end, Nico's blunter attitude could easily be translated into an Ultimate Debater.

Rose Lacroix, Ultimate Blacksmith

5/10: Having trouble imagining someone as sleepy as Rose, working near hot metal. But, TerHuRose as weapon wives? Yes, please!

[the-fishh]

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW THE UNRAVELLING BY THE CRANE WIVES FITS THE ALBATRIO PERFECTLY?!?!?!

The song talks about four lovers and the service they provided to the singer to keep them fit and healthy. each of the alba-trio had one person that meant everything to them and took care of them before being taken from them before they could finish their mentoring.

if you use your imagination and imply that the love the song describes is familial and platonic then i think it creates a really nice story that fits the characters well.

Verse One -

I once loved a tailor who took eager care of me Sewed together my loose ends with stitches neat and clean But now my love is gone And I am left unravelling. Unravelling

I think of this verse as referring to Jay and her older sister Ava.

[Art Credits to Lanladesu on Twitter]

Ava took care of Jay when they were little and when Ava was old enough to join, she was killed in a Navy fight against a group of pirates. Jay being a few years younger wasn't of age to join and was left to finish growing up dealing with grief and without her older sister to guide her.

Also the image of Tween Ava helping Child Jay up after a fall and stitching the torn knees of her trousers with colourful thread while Jay cleans up is something i need in my life

Verse Two -

I once loved a gardener with his dirt-smudged face and hands Trimmed my weeds and gave me room to grow my flowers again But now my love is gone And I am left here withering Withering

This verse to me is representative of Chip and Arlin.

[Art Credits to Skywerse on Tumblr]

Arlin picked up a small orphan boy with no real future outside the dirty streets and took him under his wing. He gave Chip a chance to blossom and grow as a person. Before he could give Chip all the skills and time he would need to have the best chance in life, he was lost to the sea. The events of the Hole in the Sea left Chip alone and stunted in life.

The end of the verse describing the singer as withering is ESPECIALLY relevant in Chips case due to the whole undead thing. His search for Arlin literally left him Withering

Verse three -

I once loved a carpenter who carved a smile for me. Sanded my rough edges, crafted new and lovely things But now my love is gone And I can’t help the fracturing

Gillion had many many people mentoring him in his time in the undersea but i think this works best with Finn.

[Credits to Boilingheart on Tumblr]

Gillion was being Carved into the perfect warrior. he was taught to fight hard and be ruthless. Finn however taught gillion about literature and culture. Finn was the only mentor Gillion had that seemed to care about him past what he's worth. Finn left for the oversea without notice or warning leaving Gillion without a single person to genuinely care for him. Between loosing Finn and then being exiled causing him to loose everything else, Gillions discipline and sense of morals took a few hard hits.

When gillion looses his high maintenance lifestyle he begins breaking like a rusty sword and fracturing like a wooden statue left to the elements.

Verse Four -

I once loved a man who kissed me once before he left Tied me up in knots and said he’d soon return again But now my love is gone And I am left unraveling Unraveling Unraveling

This verse is true of each duo. Their Mentor left too early, before each of the Riptide Pirates had time to fully grow and now they are left mentally in the past without the guidance of the most important people in their individual lives who never got to finish teaching them.

AAAAAAA THEY ARE JUST LITTLE FUCKED UP FREAKS WHO NEVER GOT ENOUGH LOVEEEEEEEBFEIU CGBVFUAGEUKF TUMBLR DO YOU HEAR MEEE?!?!?!?!

[thatgentlewife]

May I ask, if both you and your husband work outside the home then how come you’re the one who also does the house chores + is “submissive”. why can’t both wife and husband “serve” each other why is it only the wife serving the husband?

Hi there! Thank you for asking!

In my marriage, my husband works 50 hours a week, while I work 25, which gives me more time and energy to create a peaceful, clean, and welcoming home for us. I consider it a privilege to use that extra time to care for our environment and make it a place where we both feel loved and at ease. It’s my way of serving him and showing my gratitude for his hard work. But this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t serve me as well. We both approach our marriage with a heart of mutual submission and love.

For example:

• How I serve him: I ensure the house is tidy, meals are prepared, and there’s a warm, comforting atmosphere when he comes home. These acts of service are expressions of my love, not obligations.

• How he serves me: He works long hours to provide for us, supports me emotionally, and cherishes me through his words and actions. On his days off, he often helps with chores or takes on tasks without me asking.

This dynamic works for us because it’s rooted in mutual submission. While Ephesians 5:22-24 calls wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, it also commands husbands in verse 25 to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” My husband’s love for me is sacrificial, and his leadership is never about control but about serving and protecting me in ways that reflect Christ’s example.

In our marriage, submission and service go both ways. It’s not about one partner doing all the giving and the other all the receiving; it’s about living in harmony, each contributing to the other’s well-being in ways that make sense for our life together. The key is mutual love, respect, and a shared desire to glorify God through our roles.

Ultimately, the “why” behind our actions is love—love for God and love for each other. This perspective transforms every act of service into an offering of joy, not obligation.

It’s a beautiful thing when both a husband and wife seek to love, honor, and serve each other in marriage, reflecting the heart of Ephesians 5:21, which says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Submission, in its biblical sense, is not about inequality but about humility and selflessness, mirroring how Christ served us.

Thank you again for asking!

Thatgentlewife ❤️

[queens-of-spirits]

The Poolverine Playlist

So as I mentioned in the latest chapter of my fic, I have a Poolverine Playlist. I had some people say they were interested so here it is! Please let me know if you have additions or edits to these songs to share! It’s under read more because it is loooooong. I was going to add links but tumblr will not let me add that many.

Like a Prayer by Madonna (3 versions). You know why this is here, I know why this is here, no explanation needed, it is their song

The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News. It’s the song that plays while Wade is searching for his dream man a wolverine

You’re the One that I want - From Grease. The Honda Odyssey song!!! The thing that, combined with the come hither motions, the taunting, the belt grab, and literally ever other part of this scene, makes it clear that there was a little more than fighting going on in that car.

If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher. I know this one is more from the second movie, but the themes of time travelling to undo past mistakes (specifically of cruel worlds like those initially shared between them) really fits their story

The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer. My personal alternative soundtrack to the Honda Odyssey scene. They both were enjoying stabbing each other a biiiiit to much for this not to be fair game.

Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse. I can’t stop imagining this playing over a series of domestic vignettes post-movie where Logan realizes he’s in love. Also, there is hand-holding imagery, you’ll see a lot of that in this list.

Problems by Mother Mother. Particularly the first few verses. The whole finding love in a strange place while locked up in a cage is very them (“Not all of you was asleep,” anyone?) and that first bit about the singer believing that the subject is good enough for heaven but they aren’t? I can see the edits in my mind’s eye. The best part? It works no matter who you imagine as the singer.

Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother. This could be either of them, but I just can’t help by see Logan dealing with his anger and violence and idea that he ruined his worlds and then the two coming together to be fucked up and break shit together.

Curses by The Crane Wives. This is so Worst Wolverine. His world is destroyed and it’s his fault, but then Wade comes along and makes it all easier somehow.

Tongue’s & Teeth by The Crane Wives. Again, so Logan it HURTS. Feeling like a monster that hurts or destroys every good thing and will ruin Wade too, but willing to accept the fact that Wade seems to know this, but doesn’t care.

Predator by The Crane Wives (I really like their music lol). It’s on their latest albums and again. It really embodies the character of Logan to me. Tim’s hard to describe without just showing you guys the lyrics, so honestly go listen to it guys.

Sticks and Stones by The Pierces. This one is hard to describe, so please trust me and listen to it with Poolverine in mind

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. Okay, if I had to pick another song for the hand holding to Madonna scene, it’s this one. The vibes are immaculate, the theme talking about not being understood but finding someone who sees you are perfect, but that’s not why it’s here. It’s here because if two lines that are so much like Logan in that moment where he rushes in to save Wade. One: “you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be/And I don’t want to go home right now.” This one is Logan finding something in Wade he’d thought he’d lost and realizing, perhaps even in that moment, that he doesn’t want to go back to a fixed world. Two: the very first line “and I’d give up forever to touch you.” Logan believes that if he goes in that chamber he will die, but he breaks down the door anyway. He’s literally giving up his effectively immortal lifespan (forever) to touch Wade because he’d rather die with him that live in a universe where he doesn’t exist.

Too Sweet by Hozier. This one is so Logan falling in love with Wade post-movie. Logan having another chance at life and Wade trying to pull him out of his most self-destructive habits while Logan can’t think of anything but how Wade is too good, too sweet for him.

This is Love by Air Traffic Controller. I love these boys but they are a liiiiittle toxic. This is that (plus the knife and gun imagery)

The Red Means I Love You by Madds Buckley. Remember that scene where Wade bled into Logan’s mouth and he had that feral ass grin and laughed? Yeah.

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE by Måneskin. You say rough sex I say Poolverine.

Big Bang Theory Man by Clare Fader and The Vaudevillians. It’s another toxic romance vibes song. This one has guns lol

Somebody to Love by Queen. I think this really exemplifies their lives before they find each other. They’re both lost, both put down by life and the world. They don’t know it yet, but they’re just looking for somebody to love.

You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. A little more toxicity for the boys. Logan singing this about Wade works well. Like with the idea that Logan played his part in Wade’s game and got sent to the void. Plus comparing Wade to a loaded gun? Yes. Just yes

You Make My Dreams (Come True) by Daryl Hall & John Oates. I like to believe that they both made each other’s dreams come true. Wade got to team up with Wolverine and Logan got a second chance.

The Other Side from the Greatest Showman soundtrack. Look I know Hugh is the one singing here, but I can’t help but draw comparisons from this song to Wade dragging Logan away from the bar where he’s content to waste away.

I Don’t Care if You’re Contagious by Pierce the Veil. My beta reader (crypticanid here on tumblr) recommended this one so it’s here.

The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. The chain is them holding hands to save the world :-)

Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen. Here for dad rock energy and because it fits pre-movie Logan.

Shackled And Drawn by Bruce Springsteen. See above (Springsteen is peak dad rock to me)

Angel Eyes & Basketball by Foot Ox. Look at these opening eyes and tell it isn’t Logan “There are flowers growing all around a massive animal inside of me/And it's so ugly/And I'm so broken/And I'm so ugly/And it's so broken”

Heaven’s Gate by Amélie Farren. This is so Worst Wolverine pre-movie. He’s lost and helpless and blames himself for ruining his world. Also, the bit about “I was told that I was vital in the plan to save my life” is giving Logan agreeing to help Wade so the TVA can fix his world. And not believing in Wade and always running away before finally deciding to stay and follow? So represented in this song. Also! “‘Cause I didn’t deserve heaven, but I’m standing at its gate”? That is so Logan when he sees the start of his life with Wade stretch out before him.

Creepy Old Guy from the Beetlejuice musical soundtrack. This is one of the silly ones, but I find the idea of Wade singing this about Logan, who remember is over 200, really funny. He’s Logan’s controversially young girlfriend.

November by Sparkbird. It’s a song about travelling grouch parallel universes and the vibes are very Poolverine. Plenty of knife imagery.

Loser, Baby from the Hazbin Hotel soundtrack. Look I know this one is a little off the wall, but c’mon, it’s a song where an animal themed alcoholic and a hyper sexual gun-lover who are heavily implied to have feelings for each other sing about how life sucks and they’re both losers, but at least they have each other. It’s one the nose (I would actually cry if someone did artwork of them dancing in front of that billboard like in the show)

[anghraine]

Academia update: unusually, I'm loving the class I'm teaching (Shakespeare!) and my students continue to be (mostly) fantastic.

They're starting work on their group performances—which isn't about how good they are as actors, but what their groups can bring to the scene they choose to perform or, alternatively, what they can pull out of the original scene (essentially, what do they have to say about it and what approach are they taking in order to say that?). A group that's always especially enthusiastic in class paused from a discussion of puppet designs for their group's performance (I am very curious, and delighted, about their Puppet Macbeth plan) to ask if the limited modern language they can add for clarification can include expletives. They very obviously lit up when I said "yes, they can be part of your group's artistic vision" and were like, "this class rules."

(One of them has stayed after a couple of times to excitedly tell me that this is their FAVORITE class and they are NEVER going to miss a day unless they get the PLAGUE, despite struggling with Shakespeare's language. <3)

Today, attendance was fairly low because of some local event, and quite a few students left early, which is always disappointing, though at least they waited until the lecture introducing Othello was over. But five stayed to the very end; when they realized it was just them, I laughed and said they were truly the merry band of brothers of the class, and one of them was like, "Obviously we're the true Shakespeare lovers." However, one of them actually is not into the actual plays, and asked if the remaining quintet could pause their in-class work to have an impromptu discussion about how Shakespeare was relevant to their lives in 2024, since she couldn't see it but clearly the others could. And she did want to see it.

I thought that was an awesome idea, actually, since she wasn't being an asshole about it, and while she was asking me, she was also interested in what the others thought. Before I said anything except "sure, that sounds interesting" the other students started taking turns explaining what they found relevant and engaging about Shakespeare's plays thus far. They had pretty wildly different perspectives—one was interested in Shakespeare primarily because she's a poet and really fascinated by all the ways he uses verse and prose and form in general to both obscure and evoke deeper meanings that can at first be hidden or mysterious. She's part of a group of poets that's actually currently trying to write Shakespearean sonnets with other poet friends to stretch their artistic muscles. Another one thinks that there's basically something to be gained or learned about people from almost any text, no matter how remote it seems from our own experiences, and Shakespeare in particular shows a lot of very familiar dynamics in terms of people even though the language is hard and the culture strange. Someone else talked about the importance of history in understanding the present and how intertwined literature of the past is with the past itself.

Later on, I ended up talking about how, while culture has changed a lot since Shakespeare's time (mostly for the better, in some ways for the worse), and while culture has a powerful effect on us—people are still people. Understanding people is always valuable. Shakespeare's characters are very human in ways that can be very recognizable despite the different contexts. They feel a lot of the same things we do and they deal with similar problems, although they might express their feelings, relationships, and concerns in different terms than people do now.

The jokes men make about other men growing horns, for instance, show up all the time when male characters are having masculinity issues in early modern drama or challenging other men's masculinity. This was a reference to a trope about men developing horns if their wives cheated on them—it's a barely euphemistic way to accuse other men of being cuckolds. And like, men playing masculinity games by calling other men cucks and fixating on their sexual prowess and irresistible allure and claims over women are not unfamiliar behaviors at all.

We also talked about how modern people don't always express their racism in the exact same ways that characters do in Othello (though sometimes not all that differently!), but honestly there's plenty of overlap between the ways Iago, Roderigo etc work to frame him as bestial and how many people today, esp white people, conceptualize Black men and particularly relationships between Black men and white women. There's a lot of pointed emphasis on Desdemona's whiteness and how Othello must have bewitched her by witchcraft!!! only for the truth to be revealed that she fell in love with him because she genuinely likes him and finds him far more interesting and cool and endearing than Roderigo, and Shakespeare works overtime to humanize Othello and make him compelling and intriguing. (We'd talked a bit about how Shakespeare substantially alters his source material with regard to Othello's characterization and the general takeaway from his marriage to Desdemona.)

We talked about Viola in Twelfth Night as well—there's this idea that genderfuckery (not the term I used lol) is some brand new invention and yet the first few years of the 1600s produce Genderfuckery: The Play in which even those who feel most intensely about one twin or the other cannot tell them apart when gender is "supposed" to be an absolute clearly visible binary.

We also ended up talking about the relevance of aspects of Shakespeare's plays that may not be directly present in our everyday lives, but which influenced more familiar tropes or social issues.

Anyway, though this was initially a bit dispiriting, it ended up being a really cool impromptu conversation and I still came away thinking, hey, teaching Shakespeare is super awesome. Grad school had kind of convinced me that I don't like teaching and am not at all good at it, but not being eternally stuck in composition hell makes a big difference.

[sketchfanda]

Sketch-Verse Lore:Life on the XXX side & Tier Systems

With the particular quirk and kinky nature of their respective wives or girlfriends and how often they get around with other women, it stands to reason that Krillin, Kirishima and Moxxie would somehow halogen to wind up finding themselves working in the porn industry. But of course the studios to work for her are professional as much as they are erotic in nature and the owners and operators of these establishments have a fond appreciation for the natural talents of their rookie studs, even obliging their need for a little anonymity to protect their identities and prevent from being recognised out on public streets. To say nothing of how much their co-stars just love and look forward to working with them for filming and photoshoots.

From the dragonball verse’s ZigZag studios aka Double Z studios we have Don Juan Sanchez (Krillin), to date the current sole human male star in the anthro occupied roster. Naturally this has seen him build up a steady growing body of work in its newly arisen human male on furry female tag demographic as well as a sizeable fanbase among women. Most chalk this up to the slight resemblance he has to the line of Warrior Monk sex dolls and his modest, humble charisma and debate rages I he would look better without the beard and tattoo (which are temporary). His most notable streak thus far has been the series of shoots he has performed with retired veteran stars who’ve made thir comebacks in a new career renaissance just to have another round with him. Rumours say he’s gotten up to more sexual hijinks off camera than on but nothing has been confirmed or denied….

In the Heo Aca verse, we present ManaWorld Pictures’ Mr.R often referred to by his common character name Red (Kirishima), who Syx herself has come to consider her personal favourite rookie to date and she even has that statement in writing. This modest beefcake has made quite the body of work thanks to his Plus Ultra stamina and his personal drive and dedication on the ideal that a real man never leaves a woman sexually unfullfilled or unsatisfied. His Ikemen vibes have certainly also helped in not only being well built and quite well endowed but also the right blend of cute and handsome and his teddy bear like nature has made for quite good chemistry with some of his co-stars. One can only imagine his age and skill will only increase in age as his career runs on....

In the peculiar Hellverse, we have the Lust ring based Skullfuck Productions' talented rookie imp sensation known only as Mysterious M, an enigmatic demon of sophisticated theatrical taste and culture and an appreciation for the arts. This silver tongued sweetheart has made quite a name for himself with his ever growing body of work seeing him woo many a fine pretty sexy thing in Hell and even the living world and Heaven itself!! This has seen sales of his movies and views on the SFP website hit numbers mathmeticians have never even possibly heard of and that's not changing anytime soon. Many a woman has sent fan letters sharing intimate details they've had fantasizing about this masked imp visting them in their dreams to work his demonic magic on them....which has inspired the scriptwriters much to Mr.Sketch's delight...

Rumours say that Demon Queen Chloe with her vast amount of free time and ultimate omnipotence and a few individuals made up a tier systems of studs & bull on what particular girls really like and want in a man. those who've qualified are all equal in endowment but it’s particularly ranked by emotional maturity . There are 4 tiers in total as follows as well examples of the guys who fall within each.

Tier 1 is the Lovable Every man Himbo: these guys are the every regular men who poses huge cocks and a level of relative maturity but in some way foreign to the Lewd occurrences . These are some who fall in this tier. Jon Herron, Dipper Pines, Izuku Midoriya, and Jaune Arc.

Tier 2 is the Reluctant Bull Moose: These are the guys who are thrusted in the lewd direction by random chance and fate. These are the ones who does it cause it’s the only choice or tricked.

Tier 3 is the Crutch Crotch. These are the emotional support dogs of the endowed hunks and himbos who attracts the laddies with their eagerness to listen and be courteous towards the women who they fuck

Tier 4 is the Trifecta Ratio Casanova: these are the hunks who are all three tiers in a perfect ratio of personality and skill. These of course are Kirishima, Krillin and Moxxie.

[jon-withnoh]

Give me the hot Elisabeth and Rebecca takes!

Sure thing! (Oh boy this turned out long.)

Elisabeth disclaimer: this is purely based on vibes. I have some knowledge of the historical background, but it’s not really my field of study.

Rebecca disclaimer: this is my field of study and I have very strong opinions on it, though I do not claim that I am always correct. I do however maintain that I could back up many of my claims if I had the time to do proper textual analysis and read secondary sources.

I genuinely think Elisabeth (the musical as it was written) is a masterpiece. The framing device, the way certain melodies mirror each other to foreshadow events or indicate character development — it’s amazing! Plus, the music is ridiculously good. 100/10. I love this musical.

Most stagings/recordings of Elisabeth since 2012 though? More than questionable. Levay/Kunze musicals in general appear to be following a pattern where the original production and a maybe one or two productions after it are full of nuance and complexity, only to have that complexity broken down and reduced over time. That is no fault of the musical itself, but a worrying trend of not trusting audience to be able to handle nuance and trying to make every element of a production more palatable and easier to handle. I hate it. Both the 1992 and the 2005 Wien productions have so much to recommend them (I can’t speak for the German productions but would humbly turn over the questions to more Elisabeth-versed mutuals like @fitzrove), but it all seems to be going downhill.

HOT TAKE: I think bringing on more and more “Broadway-sounding” performers to do both Elisabeth and Rebecca is a mistake. For me, Levay/Kunze shows have a very specific sound to them, a sound that fits into European musical theatre and makes sense for when and where they were created. Hiring almost exclusively people with a way more modern, belt-y sound is not a direction I personally like for these shows. Don’t get me wrong, this is not about any specific performers, it’s about trying to change the sound of these shows into something more akin to a big Broadway musical and that really doesn’t work for me. Both Elisabeth and Rebecca are so idiosyncratic in how they sound and how they’re written, trying to make them fit into a mould they don’t belong in does them a disservice. (Looking at you, VBW.)

Maybe not a hot take: but I love the 2005 Wien production of Elisabeth so much. It was my first exposure to the musical and remains my go-to cast album. It certainly has faults and I totally understand why people might gravitate towards different productions, but since I haven’t listened to the full 1992 Wien and 2001 Essen (?) productions yet, I can only compare it to 2012.

REBECCA HOT TAKE: Michael Kunze has stated that he views Rebecca as first and foremost a love story and I think he is WRONG. Daphne du Maurier herself would probably think he was wrong (seeing as she hated the story being described as a romance). This is a core problem with Rebecca das Musical. There are many things to love (Danny, Danny, Beatrice, and did I mention Danny?), but in my opinion, the whole “this is a great love story” angle does it a huge disservice. Let’s make it weirder! Let’s make it as bleak as it fucking is! (Probably not a crowd pleaser but let me have my fun).

Rebecca the musical could have done with some serious editing.

The Magdeburg production of Rebecca, which I am aware was not very accessible to a lot of people, might be one of the best productions of Rebecca ever. Kerstin Ibald absolutely knocked it out of the park with her Mrs Danvers and gave her all the nuance and emotion we so desperately crave. Her Danny is so broken, so lost. Patrick Stanke’s Maxim strikes the perfect balance between the haughty upperclass Englishman who takes kind of a fatherly tone with his young wive, and the haunted, jealous husband who absolutely did murder his first wife. Also in this production Maxim and Ich finally have some chemistry! This production’s Ich (Sibylle Lambrecht, I think) has such a great character arc and it is completely believable that she is into Maxim, even (or especially??) after his confession. Plus, the set design was amazing!!!

More Rebecca hot takes that I’ve definitely brought up before: I know we all like to write Ich as a repressed queer woman who ends up not being all that into Maxim, but honestly, she probably is very attracted to him. We can speculate about the why, but like, it is strongly implied that they have sex for the first time shortly after Maxim’s confession. She wants him.

I maintain and will die on this hill that making Danny sing “Ich liebte sie, doch sie hat mich verraten” is a mistake. I mean, yes please let Danny tell us she loved Rebecca, but come on. Danny doesn’t lose her faith in Rebecca. She doesn’t stop idolising Rebecca. Whatever her reasons for setting Manderley on fire may be it’s not that she thinks Rebecca betrayed her. I don’t even think Danny thinks highly enough of herself to even consider feeling betrayed by Rebecca. Rebecca is god to her.

I definitely have more, but this post is really long and I’m running out of steam… Hope you enjoyed!