#work and exams are killing me
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Motivations for Whumpee-turned-Whumper/ Hero-turned-Villain
Revenge. Anger burns away at them. There’s no rest, no sleep at night. They hate the world and the world hates them. It’s their own personal hell and the only way out will be paved in their enemy’s blood. Time to sharpen that blade, polish those knives. Someone is going to pay.
“Divine” Justice. Closely related to Revenge, but this time they think their enemies deserve the punishment. They see themselves as being entirely in the right. Justice is blind, isn’t it? Well, their enemies will never see the light of day again. It’s only fair, to take what their enemies took from them.
No Choice. There’s the cold, detached metal of gun to their head. The creeping intimacy of knife to their throat. Free will? How about a hissed, “Do as I say”? They make others suffer and in return the pressure at their throat relents. It’s a kill or be killed world after all.
Convinced. Should they? Should they not? The pros and cons are weighed and found wanting. The Villain is starting to make a lot of sense— and really, what is morality but the following of one’s conscience? Morality is biased. It doesn’t make sense. Maybe they’ve been on the wrong side all along.
The End Justifies the Means. Sure, it’s wrong but just wait. Pulling out this person’s teeth will give us the information we need. If that doesn’t work, we will flog them. But in the end, it’ll be okay, because we will have the information. What’s one life compared to many?
You Created a Monster. Their name, once one their friends called down the hall, is now a threat half-whispered. That name is a hallmark of fear and terror. Everyone knows who they are and what they’ve done. They disappeared for a while, but they returned dripping with scars and someone else’s blood. Who knows— if someone had held them while they screamed— if their friends had lived— maybe they wouldn’t be who they are now.
#am i working on this instead of the cyoa#indeed i am#work and exams are killing me#so here i am#writing whump prompts#whump prompts#whump writing#whump#whumpblr#whump community#whump ideas#whumper turner whumpee#hero turned villain#cw mentioned mouth gore#cw mentioned flogging#cw torture
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THE ROOKIE- 6.03 ➦ Trouble In Paradise
#chenford#chenfordedit#the rookie#therookieedit#tim x lucy#tim and lucy#jesuis-assez edits: chenford#jesuis-assez edits: the rookie#jesuis-assez edits: season 6#jesuis-assez edits: chenford scenes 6x03#He really took care of her in this episode. [like always]#From giving her advice -> distraction -> keeping an eye on her -> letting her sleep in -> the trophy -> reassurance.#Just doing everything he could to be there for her and support her#to keep her from burning out. If she was ever to crash this episode... or to have her hopes dashed. He would be there to catch her.#and he did. “I'm sorry for disappointing you.” “You could never disappoint me.” Giving her the words she needed to hear in that moment.#He gave her what she needed in this episode and more.#More importantly... He knew what she needed and he knew how to be there for her. He is in tune with her.#His understanding of her runs deep and flows through his actions just how devoted he is to her.#Perhaps Lucy wore the necklace he gave her to the oral exam... Not just because it's from someone she loves but#So she could feel him there with her for support. As he has supported her from the moment he found out she was working towards this.#Even when it was killing him inside to do so because of his related trauma.#I don't always communicate through the tags... but when I do--- you can't shut me up 🙃 [and they become quite lengthy]
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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Soooo... someone mentioned my Joker Joker design would be a good shadow design so I kinda went with it and spat this out
Throwing Akechi in there for fun cause ya know. Also I am quickly realising a pattern in my akeshu stuff. Akechi seems to be the one being flirted with lmao
Lineart under the cut
#can't just be drawing joker joker now#i gotta throw in akeshu as well#Y'all this absolutely KILLED my pc to render#i use so many layers it is unhealthy#it used like a minute each time i wanted to save and I'm just sitting there praying it doesn't crash#Worked on this while studying for exams#and then while playing the new zelda game#good thing I've had a good amount of free time cause man have i been doing stuff lmao#anyway drawing akechi's shoulder pads was an absolute pain that I do not wish on anyone#also I chose the prince outfit cause I felt it was a better contrast to Joker Joker's outfit#and I will not draw that fucking helmet#I'm sorry but his black mask outfit is going to kill me#I've rambled enough in my tags now. Time for the actual tags#persona 5#p5#Joker p5#Ren Amamiya#Akira Kurusu#Amamiya Ren#Kurusu Akira#Goro Akechi#Akechi Goro#persona 5 protagonist#Akeshu#Shuake#joker joker#Okay I can feel myself going mad overthinking about posting this so just gonna say fuck it we ball
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#I can't believe my computer broke just a couple of days before the new chapter came out.#Not to be dramatic or anything but this was my last straw#It means everything to me 😭😭😭 My puter has my whole life in in. And endless resources of everything#That's why people tell you to backup stuff 🤦🤦🤦#Okay before I get too dramatic it's not gone like I can turn it on just fine.#Except there's no cursor to be found anywhere and I can't find a way to fix it#(Yeah it's not the f4 key I've tried that. Repeatedly)#So since there's no way to turn the puter off without mouse I had to kill it the hard way 4-5 times today#(aka every time I tried turning it on again in hope everything got fixed on its own)#And when I turned it on again five minutes ago. IT DIDN'T START NORMALLY. AND IT ASKED THE SYSTEM LANGUAGE AND STUFF#I lost like. Half my lifespan. I was terrified it got formatted out of nowhere and I had lost everything#It didn't. It seemingly is fine (from what I can see from my desktop).#But man I really didn't need this kind of stress on top of average exams depression#Idk what to do... I want to go to the guy in my dorm who studies computer science but it'd be the third time I ask him for help–#and I'm a little embarrassed now. Asking for help sucks in general#But I don't have money to pay consultation...#I think there is a chance my touchpad just worn out since. Like. I use my computer extensively#But even that seems a little excessive? Not even the buttons work. I've only had this computer for three or four years...#Anyways I don't have a physical mouse. And I can't spend money to buy it when there's a chance that wouldn't fix the problem. Ughhhhhhhhhh#random rambles#If I stop posting in the next days. It's simply because I can't 😭😭😭#Goodbye people please keep posting ss kk for me
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just realized i don’t get this final exam back and if i do its only gonna be a percentage 😐
#sooooo demotivating actually#kinda just focusing on one thing ik is gonna be on the exam unless my prof lied/forgot#but i hate not getting feedback on work like how tf do you expect me to learn#i wish i wasnt fucking sick rn im so insanely mad about that 😄😄😄😄😄 cause id be completely fine and i wouldve started studying earlier#but nooooo my head hurts so bad 😁 and i dont remember anything 😁 and its tomorrow at 9am 😁#like ik it doesnt matter at all but i still wanna do well on it#I wanna learn this stuff and its killing me that im not retaining anything rn
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I MISS KNOWING THAT NO MATTER WHAT I’D HAVE TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SPEND 6 HRS A DAY W/ PPL MY AGE FOR 5 DAYS A WEEK. I MISS KNOWING I’D HAVE GUARANTEED TIME W MY FRIENDS ON THE DAILY. I MISS THE FAMILIARITY & COMFORT OF THE ROUTINE I’VE KNOWN FOR 14 YRS
#summer break melancholia except it’ll never ever end. i’m never going to experience this again in my life….#this exam szn is going to kill me in such a real way. like objectively i know i saw my friends last night. and i’ll see them again during#our shared exams. and ofc after exams we’re gonna go hard for days. and then grad. and then MONTREAL. but for now it’s all so bleak#AND GOD so many of my friends r working at this one summer camp that i wanted to work at soooo bad but they pay like $4/hr so my dad’s#straight up not letting me do it. but what he doesn’t get is I’D pay just to spend time w all of them like that god….#.txt#senior year core
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i’m gonna be uber busy this weekend so i won’t be on much im sorry :(( on the bright side you’ll get a break from me so count your blessings
#driving to different states and working and exams#kill me#i’ll get to my asks as soon as i can!!!🤍🤍
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I somehow made it through the school day running on one hour of sleep
#I went to sleep at 5am yesterday#not by decision though - or not fully at least#i was feeling very shitty so I tried drawing to calm myself down but it didn't work and I ended jp just getting worse#Nobody at home was awake ans I couldn't talk to any of my vontacts because again they were all asleep#and I really needed to talk to somebody so I ended up reaching to a Mental Health helpline#I thought of reaching out to a suicide prevention hotline at first but I didn't because I wasn't going to#nor thinking of#commiting suicide.#I didn want to do something pretty bad which I was trying to distract myself from doing but not kill myself#eventually I found a general mentak health helpline and texted a woman through there at early 3am/very late 2am#we talked for two hours. she was really nice and helped me calm down and gave me advice on what to do if that happened again#it was 5am when we stopped talking and I had to wake up at 6am so I didn't sleep much#I really appreciate whst she did she helped me a lot - she also offered to call my parents but I said no because I didn't want to worry them#and she understood she was really nice people behind these kinds of things are like wingless angels#I've been able to take short naps between classes and a considerably long one after an exam but I dtarted the day on 1 hour of sleep#AND SURVIVED IT yippee#my stuff#vent
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the universe is actively against me btw
#was doing sooooo well with uni stuff#and then the horrors hit#i was literally nowhere except at uni for exams and i somehow picked up whatever demonic illness this is#threw up seven (7) times today. every bone in my body hurts. if it's covid i'm killing myself#going to lose my 1553 day reading streak as well. i have been fighting to read my min of 20 pages the entire dayyyyyyy#haven't missed a day since november 2019 and this is what takes me out :(#but also i'm flunking my tuesday exam if i'll even be alive to attend it and i put in so much work for it already and it was all for nothing
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This fucking close to k wording my boss🤏🏻🙂
#i need to rant#hes put in a very difficult spot and i dont know how to get out of it#he's basically dumping a student he doesnt feel like working with on me without consulting with me#it wouldve been fine under normal circumstances but this girl is taking her exam on Wednesday! tf am i gonna do in 4 days????#im not a miracle worker#and im not even particularly experienced in the specific skills she needs most help with. i am NOT COMFORTABLE TAKING THIS CLASS#and you already told her she HAS this class with me??? how am i going to turn her down now???#idc that we're not guaranteeing anything im not comfortable getting paid doing something i know isn't going to be all that helpful#ugh im gonna fucking kill him#'its a good learning opportunity for u' I DONT WANT TO GAIN EXPERIENCE AT THE EXPENSE OF SOMEOME ELSE'S FUTURE
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you know what? it's fine.
#tomorrow i either pass clinical psych or i don't pass. or i get a 3 and i'm forced to consider if it's worth trying again or not#that's fine. then i try to do something with the school psych assignment over the weekend#then i do a bit of preparing for the stupid fucking neuropsych online exam. so I don't go in blind#you gotta know how to cheat and how to use your notes y'know what i mean.#and then i start studying for the comprehensive exam and also work on the research paper#and if i fail clinical psych i can try again one or two weeks later (can't really do one bc i don't want to be back here that week) (so two)#and if i fail the comprehensive exam (or if it's crap like it's a 2 or a 3. bc it kind of needs to be a 5 bc of the degree grade) then i#try again on may 7#and if i don't manage to finish the research paper by may 6 for the first check‚ i still have until the 19th to do it#i will make it through if it kills me.. and it shouldn't like if this tests my limits then i deserve to be hit with a#giant hammer until i die 💀
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Sometimes I really hate English exams because I find it so hard to put my thoughts and feelings into words like I have these great ideas and i understand but I can’t relay them and it makes me angry or upset which only makes it harder to do the exam cause I’m not thinking clearly
#I have one tomorrow#for like two and a half hours give or take#can’t wait!#I also missed the classes where they taught us one of the poems and also how to answer questions correctly#so I’m having to reteach that to myself during some personal issues#oh and also I have TWO WEEKS OF EXAMS#OUT OF NO WHERE#I’m failing science im well on my way to failing maths#I have to do further maths because my parents and teacher won’t let me move down to a more comfortable set because ‘I can do it’#even though I find it hard to even show up to maths class these days#if I moved down I’d be sat with my friends and a teacher I know and trust#and the work would be less stressful#I’d still be able to do higher!!!#I just wouldn’t have to do further maths!’#now I’m on study leave meaning I have to monitor my own study#through all of this shit#mind you we haven’t studied ANYTHING for my dt exam because we’ve been focussed on coursework#so I have to reteach all of that to myself instead#I’m gonna give up one of these days#also Christmas is gonna be shit this year for reasons#and I won’t be able to catch a fucking break until like halfway through January maybe#even then I’m just closer to my real exams#and that’s worse#I swear to fucking god I’m moving down in maths if it kills me#I’m just done#I’m so done#I can’t go five seconds without crying#I miss my friends#I miss normal#reached the tag limit woah I didn’t know that existed
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hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now
#like i know i know im sad and hurt but in my heart even the worst breakup friendship or otherwise can kill my hope#like i know this is gods plan for me this is my arc but god it's getting worse and harder everyday#i thought nothing could be worse than yesterday but i hadn't lived today them#then*#i need to talk to someone so bad oh god sl yesterday i had the exam right#and like i don't even know what happened i thought i was going to fail even after giving my 2000% studying#for like 10 hours a day for 15 days for this one exam#and i was panicking and shivering so bad that my heart felt like it would fly out of my chest it was beating so hard#and so fast it didn't even beat like that when i climb too many stairs#and i tried to deep breathe but nothing worked it was so scary like yeah i get stressed sometimes#but this was another level so scary i was nauseous too#and then i clicked submit and i got 82!!!#when i was so sure i was gonna fail because i was only sure about 54 marks answers and the passing was 50#and i got really happy and relieved and then i realized. oh. i don't have anyone to tell#like yeah i told my dad and he was like oh cool ofcourse you did very good#because he doesn't GET it that im not smart anymore and 10th cbse is not an accurate measure of intelligence#he wasn't even happy or surprised he was like well nice obviously#and that's it. i didn't have anyone else to tell#granted i hadn't even told anyone i was giving the exam. i mean i say anyone as if im swimming in friends#only have one. two if u stretch. and i didn't say. cause like idk doesn't really seems like anyone cares#and aah stupid emotional me before the exam i was feeling sad and trying not to panic (??? why??) and CRY in the car because i was thinking#that how my mom always drops me to exam centres and we talk i play music and when im getting out she says all the best beta#and the beta. wow i typed this and immediately have tears in my eyes now. i don't even understand why but#idk i made it up to be a little tradition in my head and i really wanted to call my mom and say mom pls can u say all the best#to me now bc i think ill fuck it up and im really scared and maybe if u give your blessing it'd be okay. but then i thought how embarrassin#it wld be if i failed. bc we don't have any kind of rship my mom and me. and then when she heard i passed from dad she didn't even call me#or anything. thank god i didn't do all that drama but fucking hell. this is all just for me right nobody cares not my parents#and it's too difficult im crumbling under the pressuee but i have to grit my teeth and do it or ill never be able to get out of this house#and i know ill find people when i do get out. but in the meantime. please god ji just one person idc who girl boy friend or love ANYONE#ik it's weak & ik i shld be enough on my own. but pls i just CAN'T.they dont even have to put up with me they just have to care a bit
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I think I can almost do a 10 minute mile, which I believe is the requirement to pass the exam. I'm going to wait till the end of the month to time myself and check. If I can do an 8 minute mile by the time the exam comes around that would be ideal
#i have no idea what the other requirements are#idk im aiming for like#at least 100 sit ups and squats#and at least 50-75 push ups#sit ups and squats are easy#i can manage 100 of those#push ups are harder for me#idk if id reach 100 by the exam#but it would be cool if i could#idk if they'll make us do a stair master#but im preparing just in case#endurance is what kills me#gotta work that the hardest#gonna see if i can set up a tire pull also#that would be incredibly beneficial for me
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WHO THE HECK put my life on hard mode all of a sudden??
#im so stressed i hate school so much#i have an english draft to write by tmr and i pulled an all night yesterday for it but im wayyyy over the word count and no matter what i#do it just WONT shorten!!!#and in maths im falling behind so bad because whenever i try to do my work#this girl next to me keeps talking abt dumb bs and asking annoying questions like IM NOT THE TEACHER LEAVE ME ALONE#i need to revise for maths and science bc i have an exam NEXT WEEK#and i also have to do my languages speech whichbis being assessed by the end of this week AND revise for the languages writing test#while at the same time i have to make a powerpoint presentation for my hpe theory work (i didnt chose hpe its compolsory :(((()#the only subject not killing me rn is my business class bc i finished the exam yesterday but im pretty sure we have to prepare for this#career expo we're doing soon so AGHHH#im dying pls help
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