#word vomit of ideas

[asher-writes]

"Are you aware you put a lion on a leash?" April asked nonchalantly. Edward winced from where he lay, lifting his sore head to squint through the darkness.

"What are you saying now?"

April took a long drag of his smoke, the mirage of greyness soaking the room with a sense of foreboding. As if anything could get worse.

"I've never seen Ari cry," April speaks, as if the realisation is only just sinking in. It makes Edward's cheeks feel hot, the knowledge that Ari breaks for him. That he broke him in the first place.

"And?"

"You make him weaker," April isn't meaning to be unkind, he knows. But the words ache. The knowledge sinks into his stomach like it has teeth, gnawing at the pit of him until all there is, is holes.

"I'm going back to sleep," Edward mumbled.

"It's not all bad," April added.

"Huh?"

"I've never seen him laugh like that, either."

[shigarosie]

Izuku keeps cumming prematurely. It's to be expected, really, he was a virgin when you met and he gets worked up easily. You've never held it against him- in fact you find it pretty hot. He always keeps going, though it can be hard for him. Too intense. And embarrassing in his eyes. He's a firm believer in making your partner cum first. So you had to come up with something to help him hold off for a few minutes, for his sake.

That's how you end up on his lap, telling him to talk you through his last homework assignment or his favorite anime. He rambles through equations or plot points in extreme detail while you ride him, asking him questions to keep his focus off of your pussy and on whatever topic he chose. It works pretty well- he doesn't cum within the first fifteen minutes if fucking you, and you think it's hot when he rambles. It's a trait about him that initially attracted you to him in the first place. You love your nerdy little boyfriend and his rambling <3

[roses-and-revolutions]

DC x DP Prompt

Some way, somehow (up to you), Dan, Danny, and Dani all end up living with Vlad.

Vlad is ecstatic. The three D's aren't, but it's not like they have a choice.

To push things forward, they end up begrudgingly going to a Wayne Gala with him, and like most gala kids, they were subjected to forceful, nosy, uncomfortable, and unnecessary questions from adults they don't like, and they know, don't really care.

One of the few obvious questions would be, 'How old are you?'.

Dan, despite being in a clone body of Danny, grows just a bit faster and taller than him and refuses to be the same age as that twerp. So he says that he's one year older than Danny.

Danny, who is absolutely pissed that his clone body is growing faster than him and also refuses to be the same age as that asshole, uses his actual age.

Dani, on the other hand, is having some internal struggles about being a clone and how her body and mind were basically forced to become more mature than she actually is. How she desperately wishes to be a child but will never have the opportunity to be. Or how she wants to be her own person but doesn't know how, and is simply borrowing from everyone around her.

She gets the dreaded question, 'How old are you?'. She doesn't want to be too close to Dan or Danny and 'copy' them. But she doesn't want to be too far off from them because she's really not much smaller than Danny, and also finds comfort in being close to them even if she is just 'copying' them. So she says she's a year younger than Danny.

The Gala goes on, yada yada yada. Then they go home.

A few weeks later, one of the D's (I'm thinking Dan) finds an online article about the Masters family and begins laughing their ass off.

Apparently, Irish twins were one thing. But Irish triplets? That had the general public and social elite in an uproar for weeks to come.

[omega-e123]

The ultimate life form?

The ultimate failure.

Bioengineered from an alien race which sought to destroy the planet. Heartless…

His purpose to save and cure the one person he cared about. Failed.

Given a mission by her to protect the hopes and dreams of humans. Nearly failed, by his own doing.

No different from the DNA from where he came from.

Although the Black Arms have been defeated and he had long since declared who “Shadow” is, claws of the past tear into his being. Seeds of doubt ever growing… Seemingly impossible to weed out.

His arms wrap around himself in attempts to comfort and console. Sometimes he can still feel her hugging him whenever he had bouts of self-loathing.

“You are more than what you were made for.”

Repeating those words forever until it stands true in his heart.

One step forward, two steps back. A day at a time, to prove his worth. That he is allowed to keep existing despite the short comings.

Ruby red eyes gaze out to the vast open waters. Calm waves lap at the shore in a gentle rhythm. A breeze blows past, sending shivers down his spine. Cold reminder of being alone.

Only he’s not. Shadow’s ear flicks in the direction of crunching sand growing louder and louder until— it halts. Another pair of arms other than the hedgehog’s own wraps around him.

“Brooding again?”

“Mmnh.”

“Well, don’t frown too much or your face will get stuck like that. Then you’ll really age with the wrinkles you give yourself,” you tease, attempting to take his mind off of things.

Somehow it kinda works. The thoughts that had threaten to drown him, are over powered by your voice. Since when have you been an ever present light in his life?

He speaks up, “You’re an idiot for seeking out someone like me.”

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot. Don’t you forget that.”

“Pff,” the corners of Shadow’s lips twitch upwards.

✧.*

A shadow guides the way to the light

Never lost with a heart so bright

[littlefallenrebel]

Something something 141 with a tall reader (around 6'ft+ or so) who's never been romantically approached by anyone or who has only ever been asked out as a joke because of their height and has kinda given up on relationships entirely.

So, when this group of four approaches you one time (or just any one of them) you kinda just... look at them a little suspiciously because there's no way they'd be interested in awkward thing like you. You brush off any of their words thinking this is just another joke pulled on you. Not falling for that again!

Leaving the guys just baffled looking at you awkwardly leave because they really genuinely just wanted to ask for your number... 😔

Unfortunately they're too stubborn to just let you go like that—

[ivvyela]

imagine with me, if you will, a nwh potential fix-it involving none other than the multiverse saving duo deadpool and wolverine.

i know, i know - but please, let me cook.

wade and logan now jump across timelines to "fix" things aka travel the multiverse for funsies and deal with the consequences later and somehow end up in a universe where peter parker doesn't exist, but spider-man does. and wade, blessed with the power of "i know this for the plot", immediately knows that is bull. shit. and sure enough, they find one very depressed, very lonely, and very jaded peter parker.

after much annoyance, light stalking, and following spider-man while he's on patrol, they get peter to spill how he ended up in this situation. and after hearing everything, logan breaks the silence with a simple, yet effective: "shit, kid. that... shit."

"yeah, well... now you know, so you can, like, leave me alone."

"nope, not gonna happen." wade shakes his head and tactfully ignores logan's imploring look of what-the-fuck-are-you-getting-us-into-now "i take my job as marvel jesus very, very seriously, so frankly, this is my job to fix your sorry little life, buddy. and if flat-out telling them you exist didn't work, then - "

"oh, i actually... i never told them."

"...come again?"

"i tried to tell them, but i couldn't. so..."

"i'm sorry... your best friend and girlfriend were crying, telling you to come find them and remind them of you, and you chose not to?"

"they're happy and safe without me! i wasn't going to ruin - "

"oh my god. you sweet, self sacrificial, idiot spider-baby. okay! we can fix this! we're no tony stark, but consider us your pseudo daddies for the time being, kid. let's get you your life back."

which is how one very emotional and determined deadpool, followed by a stoic, nonchalant wolverine (who, in all honesty, probably should be completely against this, but once wade commits to something, he can't be talked out of it, and the sooner he gets his fix from this the sooner he can go home, so fuck it we ball), end up in a certain cafe, all up in a poor barista and her friend's face with a cut-out yearbook photo of some kid, yelling "LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT THIS BOY! HE'S SO LONELY! LIKE A SMALL, FORLORN, VICTORIAN CHILD! REMEMBER HIM, GODDAMMIT!"

(their efforts result in two confused and scared teens, and getting kicked out of said cafe.)

peter practically begs them to just leave him alone, that this was his choice, and he's fine with it, but both wade and logan know a lie when they hear one. they both know what being alone can do to a person, and peter is just a kid who got dealt the shittiest cards in life and at this point, it just feels wrong to leave him here without trying to do something. and maybe they both have a small soft spot for the teen, so what?

and peter knows both men can see through his broody, teenage angst front he's been putting up since the spell, and he's tried so hard to hate the two of them, get them to hate him so they would leave, but they're not budging, so really, there's no point in trying to push them away, right?

and so, he lets them in. he learns that while logan is stoic and intense and kinda terrifying, he's also someone who just wants to do the right thing for the people he cares about. he's also lost people, and he blames himself, but he's come out on the other side. he would tell peter about his daughter, laura, who wouldn't let him wallow in self pity because she is good, better than he has ever been. he never saw himself as a father, but she's still around, so he must be doing alright.

and at first hearing it would result in a pang in his chest, memories of thai food after walking into a smoke-filled kitchen, assurances that things will work out when everything feels hopeless, a tombstone that can never convey everything she was, but now... it's nice to hear that logan still had someone after losing everyone.

so, peter listens to logan's stories. in return, peter tells logan all about his mom.

and wade was brash and loud and conceded and really, really annoying, but he's... no, that's it. he's all of those things, but in a weird way, it's like all those bad qualities merge together to make him a good guy. and yeah, he can walk away at any point, he has absolutely no obligation to help peter, but he does it anyway.

("nonono, don't you dare make me some selfless hero type, kid. i know for a fact that every deadpool has a peter. i'm doing this for the me in your world."

"you're... huh?"

"bottom line, i'm a selfish bastard. i'm doing this for me, 'kay?")

peter didn't fight it. he's had experience with seemingly self-absorbed, deflecting type heroes.

wade doesn't replace him, not even close, but... still.

maybe peter will never get back what he lost. but, for the first time, peter sees a light at the end of the tunnel. that, maybe, he can stop being just spider-man, and he can start being peter parker again, too.

(and if there's a barista talking to her friend about how it's weird that two guys would show up holding a photo of an odd customer from weeks ago, demanding they remember him, and despite not knowing him she felt something, and her friend couldn't help but agree, well... that's neither here nor there.)

[causesciencethatswhy]

When AYS started out there was question on mind which my more delulu side wanted an answer to but didn't want to get my hopes up on receiving.

How did jikook come to the realisation that the needed to enlist as companion soldiers ?

I honestly didn't expect them to broach the topic until Sapporo so when they begun talking about going together in Jeju, to say I was surprised, was an understatement.

They openly talked about what they're hoping their experience will be like and how they'll be glad to support one another while joking about getting to see the other comforting bald heads each morning. It was all really sweet but it felt like edging, almost?? Like they were almost on the brink of telling us why they decided to go together cause it is obviously a decision they've carefully thought about and is something none of the other members had even considered so naturally a simple explanation should go along with it right?

Yet instead we're left with jikook just casually displaying how confident they are in their bond to know they'll be fine no matter what the military throws at them.

And then comes Sapporo and it's like the undercurrent melancholy of their impending enlistment is attached to every experience they're having in Sapporo. The soft, gentle moments like the train rides or the late night snacks or the long drives all feel heavier even when it's light hearted fun.

And you feel.... surely now ? Surely now they'll finally divulge why it was so important for them to enlist together?

Except the series ends on the bittersweet note of us, quiet literally, sending off the two of the them to the military after spending the latter half of the last episode watching them try and fail to lift their spirits up, knowing their trip was coming to an end.

It was definitely the bluest episode yet.

Yet my annoying brain wouldn't shut up? Cause narratively it didn’t make sense right? They've somehow broached the subject of military enlistment without giving us a solid explanation of how that decision came to be ??

And then as the credits rolled and I sat there rolling in melancholy too it hits me.

AYS is the answer.

Watching the two of them co exist around one another in perfect haphazard harmony for the past 8 episodes is all the reasonable explanations one would need to know to come to a conclusion on how buddy enlistment came into the picture.

Because it was a given.

Connecticut was a reaffirmation for themselves and also perhaps army's who'd gotten too comfortable dismissing their bond in chapter 2 that jimin and jungkook are well,, jimin and jungkook.

Jeju and Sapporo were a display of just how well the duo embodied 'the you are me, I am you' they've claimed for themselves years ago.

If you're still asking why jikook would enlist together when there were 20 other better alternatives, you've not been paying attention.

Cause once jikook were back in tandem, they were never not going to enlist together.

[salty-an-disco]

don't know if I'll get to draw anything for pride, but here's something I need to put out there:

Slay the Princess is probably the most aromantic love story I ever seen

from the way it's told, to how the characters go about it, there's just smth inherently aromantic about the love story between Shifty and Quiet. Smth about how attraction is rarely brought up, how even the most straightforward romantic routes go about it in an unconventional way, the way the characters themselves describe their care and love for each other– it's just so. so very queer in many ways. And as an aromantic person who almost never feels any form of attraction and relates to loveless aros, there's just smth really comforting about a love story that goes about it in the most unconventional ways possible.

[surreal-duck]

master artist and his number one fan

guy who is being so normal about the new additions to their profiles. i think abt midoris initial infatuation with his art slowly developing into appreciating yuzuru himself as a person and idol to the point he worries about how he sees him (ex: a bit of home party and in workplace survival rules) sometimes thats a lie i think about it a lot. and yuzuru learning to enjoy art just for the sake of drawing!! seeing the lets try diy story where he doesnt even refute drawing on midoris desk and was only worried that his doodles might cover up the mascot design compared to how discouraged he usually would be in earlier ! stories. everything to me i adore their dynamic if that wasnt obvious by *gestures to basically everything*

and happy pride month 🏳‍🌈

[wantonlywindswept]

forgotten fox ficbit

With Palpatine's dying breath, he curses Fox to be Forgotten.

(Fox isn't really bothered.)

---

There was a personnel transfer authorization sitting in Marshal Commander Thorn's crowded inbox.

He didn't remember requesting a fourth commander. The Guard was in desperate need of one following Thire finding Palpatine's wrinkled ass dead in his office, and the ensuing shitshow about the former Chancellor being a Sith and also controlling the war from both sides. Interim Chancellor Organa was incredibly competent and parsecs better than their previous natborn overlord, but even he was being swamped by the uproar in the Senate and the peace talks with the Separatists and the doubled amount of assassination attempts and the petabytes and petabytes of datawork--

Thorn couldn't remember requesting another commander, but he also couldn't remember the last time he slept.

Commander Vertex stood calm and at the ready on the other side of Thorn's desk, all-black helmet tucked under his arm as he waited patiently for Thorn to remember how to read. His hair was stark white, and there were vine-like scars wrapped around his neck that disappeared down into his blacks. The remnants of Sith lightning, Thorn knew, now that they'd been briefed on what that kind of thing looked like. 

Vertex's file was sparse, mostly redacted, and marked him as coming from the Special Operations Brigade, which Thorn could entirely believe.

"This isn't part of an investigation, is it?" he blurted, brain-to-mouth filter entirely gone after five too many cups of caf and an inadvisable number of stims over the past month. "The Guard was already cleared of suspicion involving the former Chancellor's death--"

Vertex held up a hand. Thorn's mouth snapped shut. 

"It's not," Vertex said, his voice firm, reassuring. There was something about it that made Thorn relax, as if his beleaguered hindbrain knew that the other commander had everything under control.

Spec Ops troops were amazing.

"The GAR is just reallocating resources given the recent upheaval," Vertex continued. Thorn nodded along like that all made sense. "I'm here to help with anything you need."

The word 'help' triggered a sudden burst of manic hope in Thorn's chest, and he lurched forward across his desk, grabbing Vertex's free hand in both of his own. The commander didn't even blink at the sudden movement, calmly meeting Thorn's wide, desperate eyes.

"Can you--" Thorn struggled to keep from sounding like he was begging, which he definitely was. "Can you do datawork?"

Vertex's sigh was entirely exasperated, and the roll of his eyes oddly, familiarly fond.

"Yes, Thorn. I can do your datawork."

---

Pt 2

[fettiowi]

thinking about pink diamond and spinel again imagine you lost your best friend. you lost them because of something youve done. the one person who understood you was hurt and taken away by your family who belittles and constantly mistreats and misunderstand you then your family turns around and makes you a new friend. someone to keep you busy so you dont bother them. this person is very clearly molded after the way that they see you: immature, loud, naive, inconsiderate. they're a personification of everything wrong with how your family treats you. you didnt ask for them. you wanted your friend, not this doll created out of misunderstanding who you are and your desires. you still have some fun with them, but it feels like they set you back. a constant reminder of how your family views you as immature and childish. you wanna show your family you can handle yourself you wanna grow up. you wanna show that you are not that imaginary mirror theyve created for you. you wanna leave that life behind and create the future you truly wanted for yourself. and so, to finally move you, you leave that behind. you put the personifications of the created assumptions about you behind and finally grow and move on except... they were never just a mirror. they were never just an expensive toy to spoil you. they were never just a personification of everything they saw in you. they were their own person. someone with their own thoughts and feelings. someone who never knew any of this. someone who loved and was loyal. someone who then thought you disliked them as a person.someone who then grew into someone who nearly destroyed everything youve loved because of what youve done. but you never knew . you were already gone. you never got to meet them. they never got to meet you.

[spacebubblehomebase]

I just noticed, in your HHStargazers AU no one has pupils - except for Alastor and, if she's canon, Carmilla. Does that mean slit pupils are a sign of a demon in disguise?

Good eye! 👈👈👀 (Pun unintended.) Though I don't really plan for this trait to be repeatedly shared amongst the disguised demons. Mostly to not limit my designs to an obvious tell. But the slit pupils were indeed intentional flaws I added in for those two in particular. Because according to MY headcanon, both angels and demons are beings beyond human comprehension. Thus, it's only to be expected that even when they TRY to fit in, they'll be unable to keep EVERY aspect of their uncanny nature concealed. At best, they're imperfect imitations of what "normal" should be. It just so happens that in my AU, angels have a much easier time concealing most of their little quirks and oddities away than the sinners for my own reasons and as for WHY no one ever grew suspicious of the eye thing, it's because Charlie's curiosity could be easily curved. While for Lucius to point this out, he'll have to admit that he's been staring at Alastor's eyes a lot whenever he gets close enough to drown in the depths of his gaze and- EHEM!!! Which he's NEVER done, mind you! AhahaHAH- What slit pupils??? Never noticed those before. Nuh-uh. NO siree. NOPE! Lucius is normally so, SO normal about Alastors VERY much normal eyes in a TOTALLY normal amount of normal. A-ANYWAAAYS!!! Lucius would also be a hypocrite if he was bothered by them considering his own occupation and the people he's usually surrounded by (yet to be revealed). As for the other humans, Alastor doesn't care enough about their opinions for it to be a threat to him and people often just avoid the guy unnerving them with his creepy ass stare. So it's all good! Hope you like these bonus fun facts! 'Cause I have a feeling I left you with just as much questions as answers, but that's the fun of an ongoing story, yeah? Stay tuned~! 😉✨️ -Bubbly💙

[lycheeleeches]

( Enter Lanyon ) :0

warning: ⚠️ Slight mention of suicide ⚠️

-forgive my horrible structure and rambling

After Jekyll gets sent away for his mad sciencey, Lanyon has made it his mission to try and one, get Jekyll back and prove his innocence and two, also get the society back.

Lanyon in this AU plays the role of Lucy, so you know what that means: the man goes insane.

Pretty much as he’s trying to fight to get Jekyll released, he gets a letter from the Beadle (still unsure of who I’d want to play this part, if I want to even assign a character this part, because I don’t think anyone fits the role), apologizing for what happens to Jekyll and promising that they and the Judge (also in the same boat as the Beadle) will get it all fixed up for him and they should meet up at their house to talk about the details

Lanyon, desperate, agrees and goes only to find this odd masquerade party going on.

It turns out it was a whole ploy to reveal Lanyon’s past and that while he someone with a good reputation ( who was also still sticking up for the society) shouldn’t be trusted cause he’s been participating in ”gross indecencies”.

Lanyon’s reputation and mental heath only plummet he’s tried to help Jekyll but has only made the situation worse and any chance Jekyll has had of being released and gaining back his position has been effectively destroyed by him. Not only has His past been dragged out but also Jekyll’s past relationship with him.

after returning from the masquerade (drunk) in a brief lapse of judgment he drinks one of Jekyll’s poisons that’s still in his office. It doesn’t end up killing him but it does make him go insane

Lanyon becomes a shell of how he is, and throughout the story he appears here and there.

When he first meets Hyde, he swears that he looks familiar (mind you, before all of this went down, Lanyon has never formally met Hyde and only has heard his name from when Jekyll mentions he’s hired him).

Hyde is too frantic to get this person away from him (fearing that somehow this random stranger figured out his identity) to even allow himself a moment to see if he recognizes the person. His lashing out is more out of fear than anger.

Lanyon, who has been hanging slightly near the society overhears Hyde’s name, and in his jumbled-up fragments of memory, is able to associate blame with this name. He knows he doesn’t like Hyde but can’t remember why.

It doesn’t help that he’s the only one that is able to put together that Hyde’s out here murdering people.

[hiyaluronic]

Okay but imagine Orym waking up in the morning and being surrounded by warmth and held tight in arms that make him feel safe and give him a sense of peace and that warmth of home that he’s missed for so long and for just one second, one gentle moment he forgets that it was Dorian he went to bed with last night.

His cotton-sleep filled mind forgets and draws closer to the figure because the only other person that’s held him this tight, made him feel this protected and loved was Will. He smiles softly and opens his eyes to say good morning and is greeted with Dorian sleeping peacefully, little breaths of warmth tickling the fringe at his forehead and his eyes well. Because he feels guilty for forgetting about Dorian for just that moment. Feels guilty because for that short moment in time Will was real and tangible to him.

He bites his lips and tries stop the tears because he knows Will would want him to move on and be happy to not use their memory of happiness to keep him stagnant and withdrawn and he’s ready to be happy again, he is; but he wasn’t ready for what that might mean. Opening his heart to experiences and feelings that he’d only ever shared with Will. Didn’t realize there’d be new first kisses, new first times, new first everything.

Orym sniffs and smiles when he feels the gentle brush of fingertips against his eyelashes. He looks up to see Dorian staring in confusion at him.

“Orym?” His name is fuzzy and soft against Dorian’s lips. The gentle rumble sends a swell of admiration through him and Orym huffs quietly — either a sob or a chuckle he isn’t sure but he nuzzles into Dorian. “I’m alright, just got lost for a second.”

“Mmm, turn your big brain off for a while. It’s still early yet and we need all the rest we can afford for the coming day.”

Orym swallows at the battle he knows is ahead of them and wraps that much tighter around Dorian. Will would always be in his heart, never forgotten but Dorian had a special space in his heart as well and was ready for whatever the future would bring him.

[pettyprocrastination]

whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!

this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!

warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her. 

So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak. 

You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work 

you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then 

nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place. 

On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after

it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him. 

but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening. 

its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail. 

Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn

its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench. 

there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency. 

when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-

all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river

Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay 

“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.” 

he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself. 

but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything

its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found. 

Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there. 

Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames. 

“We’re gonna find her, but not there.” 

So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did. 

He became a smuggler because of it. 

Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way. 

But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course. 

The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him. 

But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles 

“You think she would have wanted this for you?” 

the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence. 

“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.” 

All he can do is nod. 

It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit. 

It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live. 

Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago. 

its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo” 

when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them. 

Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands. 

He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face. 

Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity. 

“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?” 

Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be. 

But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.

“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.” 

Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again. 

“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.” 

He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples. 

“One.” 

The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun. 

“Two”

Wait. No, they both do.

“Three.” 

Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins. 

“Four.” 

Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet. 

Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?” 

Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless. 

Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.

When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same. 

She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head. 

“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”

He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun. 

“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?” 

[plaidpyjamas]

I wonder how the Yautja view depression (is there any canon evidence of them dealing with someone with depression? 👀)

Do they see it as a weakness? Or would you be thought of as more tough because you manage to fight off suicidal ideation and unpleasant symptoms all day every day, on top of functioning in the world? What about the days when you just.... can't? What would your yautja s/o do - would they do whatever they could to help you? Or would they leave you be, watching from a distance, until you got back on your feet?

Maybe one day, after a few days of being stuck in bed after an even worse couple of weeks, you wake up to a clean new skull on your bedside table. You'd been feeling a little extra sad with your partner gone (especially since you weren't sure where he was) but this gift puts a smile of your face for the first time in days. So he was on a hunt, off finding you a suitable trophy in an attempt to cheer you up. And it worked, if only a little. When you finally get up, wrapping yourself in a blanket and heading out to the kitchen, you see your Yautja there cooking something. Whatever it is it smells fantastic. You come up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, stretching a bit to try and clasp your hands together. He huffs out a small laugh at your attempt and places a hand over yours. The two of you stand there in comfortable silence while your Yautja finishes cooking. You feel a bit better, for the time being.