#won’t happen exactly like this
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RO Quotes Beginning With ‘You Have No Idea’
Kade/Kara: “You have no idea what I’ve done these last few years. Have no idea what I’ve had to do in order to make myself feel better about seeing the sunrise without you. I will never compare what I went through with what happened to you, because they can’t be compared, but it was hell. It may not have been your version, but hell isn’t the same for everyone.”
Michael/Margot: “You have no idea how much I’ve yearned for you. How I’ve waited with bated breath for you to just smile at me. To look at me with anything akin to love in your eyes. You have no idea how important you are to me— I don’t think there are enough words in this world that will be able to express it. To express how much I love you, but it’s not enough anymore. My love isn’t enough anymore.”
Blaine/Blaire: “You have no idea, huh? You truly can’t see how much this is hurting me? I hate what’s happened. I hate that you lost so much, and if I could trade places with you in a heartbeat I would. I hate knowing that you’ve been in pain, and I hate that I haven’t been able to be there for you in so long, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you hurt me too.”
Wren/Wynn: “You have no idea what you’re doing! You don’t know what you’re messing with, and because of that you’re going to pay the price! And, I promise you, it’s a price that’s going to be way too high. It’s going to hurt, and it’s going to create a wound that’s so deep it’ll never properly heal, and all you’ll have is yourself to blame for it being there.”
Nicholas/Natalie: “You have no idea who I am! You haven’t ever truly taken the time to know me. Did you really think I would thank you? That I’d be happy about what’s happened? They’re my best friend, and I may never see them again, speak with them again, because of what’s happened today. You have no idea how much you’ve just broken me.”
#absentia#kade lewis#kara lewis#michael steele#margot steele#blaine ellis#blaire ellis#wren cassidy#wynn cassidy#nicholas paxton#natalie paxton#thank you Anon for the suggestions you sent 💞#ro quotes#small spoilers for later scenes#won’t happen exactly like this#but… you know#angst
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don’t call them bitches bro!
#in a perfect world Ben looks exactly like Barb but due to self neglect to her appearance and body that won’t happen#small things#gordie freeman#barbara calhoun
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i know for a fact that maybe 20 generations ago i was a monk in an abbey that brewed beer for the other monks and also helped shave their heads like that little patch of bald on their heads i would help with that. i just know it because whenever i imagine myself in an abbey i can almost feel the cold in the air and it smells different from how cold smells now, you know when its winter and you can smell the winter and how it smells different from fall. So i know i was there and i know i brewed good beer too. and i would be the best at praying also
#I won’t get into it here but I don’t believe in reincarnation PER SE like I do believe in it in some ways like a little bit but not exactly#but I KNOW I was there#long time ago#I was a good monk I know that#when I open outlook i sometimes do this like exercise where i imagine ok it’s 9am i am sitting in my chair at my desk I am about to start#working and i imagine what would ibe doing at the abbey rn#i would probably be praying or something#or maybe cleaning the halls#or shaving my brothers heads#like that#and it’s like ok i am briefly connected to something from long time ago LOOK this isnt insane#this is what working corporate is like#you honestly do lose it like long term#i am in year 8 of corporate life it really does break you#breaks your soul working day after day on something that fundamentally DOES NOT MATTER#so this is what happens lol and you’re stuck with me
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Talked w a friend for hours about so much friend group drama that transpired in December & I’m honestly so grateful to have her. She is literally so caring & receptive & understanding & such a breath of fresh air after a history of friends who fall off after the simplest conflict
#she legit went ‘people aren’t perfect. mistakes happen’#‘friendships won’t always be a smooth sailing and that’s okay’#literally just healthy open communication#which is exactly something like me w anticipatory anxiety needs to hear#her bday is coming up & im compiling a wholeass bday package for her bc she DESERVES IT#p
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Jeez Louise I want to see the Abbot get redeemed actually. I didn’t at first. I wanted that man to have a most unfortunate end because he’s yet another person using God to justify hate-driven atrocities. But Mizrak showing up and saying “Even moments from the end, a thief repented and was forgiven” has made me want this redemption so bad.
Just once I want to see a narrative talk about an all-forgiving God and actually pull through with it. God can forgive everything if you are truly repentant. I feel like if the Abbot can put in the work to undo his actions and fight back against Erzebet, he could be forgiven. I don’t need him to get everything he wanted. As far as I can tell his relationship with Maria and Tara are beyond over. If he could look with his special eyes he could see that those are dead and rotting at the bottom of a lake. I don’t even need him to live to the end of it (as much as I’d like that. Some redemption arcs love to just be “oh they’re good now but now they’re dead so we don’t need to worry about how that works!” and I’d prefer if that didn’t happen here, but if it does oh well). I just want to see someone fall into Hell’s trap in this show and find a way to escape it.
I also think his redemption arc could be very interesting story wise. In that discussion with Mizrak he said that he could hear the quiet laughter of Hell waiting for him in the shadows, and he’s already resigned himself to damnation when he dies. I think that kind of sad resignation is one of Hell’s greatest weapons. They make you sort of sunk-cost your way into more evil by making you think you’re already a bad person, so it’s no use trying to improve. And combine this with a similar arc going on with the Abbot’s night creatures (literal creatures from Hell who choose good anyway, rejecting Hell with whatever actions they can), and I think we’ve got an interesting arc here. We got the Abbot, a supposedly holy man who believes himself firmly in Hell’s clutches, and the night creatures, quite literally born from Hell but choosing to fight against it anyway.
Everyone surrounding the Abbot has something to teach him about being better if he’s just willing to listen. Mizrak seems more devoted to God (teachings-wise at least), Tara knows more about love than he does, Maria knows more about justice than he does, and the night creatures know more about never resigning yourself to evil than he does. He just needs to get out of his despair and learn from these people already!
Anyway time to watch the second half of this season and see if I’m horribly wrong or not.
#castlevania nocturne#castlevania spoilers#I know this probably won’t happen to the extent I’d like it to#I also know that I’m probably putting too much faith in the Abbot#who hasn’t exactly been a good person from minute 1#but I’m still holding out hope.#I think this redemption could be interesting#and at the very least from a Christian perspective where I’ve been told my whole life that if I truly repent and ask for forgiveness#I will be forgiven#I want to see something actually do that#A lot of media will pay lip service to this but in the end still say “Except that guy. He’s unforgivable.” and then just kill him#which I get is nice for catharsis reasons but still. I want to see it actually practiced#Anyway I’m yapping too fucking long. I’ve barely proofread this post and I have not thought about how it’s actually structured#so I’ll look at it later and call it an abomination. But I needed to get these thoughts on it out.
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me in 2023: i like Settings though i wish people loved them the same as the 2 main characters. shout-out to the people who are into the lesser known characters i'm not that strong
me in 2024-2025: [HEAVY LABOURED BREATHING] I HATE IT HERE I HATE EVERYTHING I HATE MY LIFE
#this. thisis about the reviewers#WHY. WHY.#NOBODY LOVES THEM AND LIKE- I DO GET WHY!!! i can’t even say i WISH they did because. THERE’S NO REAL REASON#the reviewers aren’t meant to be loved their words are just part of the ending(s) they’re a part of i KNOW#i DON’T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED#they’re not exactly villains either though . im tsleepy#like i know they’re just there to show that Sometimes People Won’t Like Your Stuff!#and cookie’s second review is there to show Sometimes People STILL Won’t Like Your Stuff No Matter What! Even If You Change it FOR them!#I DONT KNOW WHY I’M SO SICK OVER THEMMMMMM#IT’S FUNNY TOO BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH A HUGE ISSUE WITH PEOPLE NOT LIKING MY SHIT TOO! I’d react the same way narrator did!!! FUCK!!!!!#WHY!!!!!
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all the Project E wips in the past 6 months because I keep forgetting what I’ve already posted and also because I’m literally going insane inside an enclosure of my own making. girl help
#wip#ereyesterday#the font is different each time bc if I stare at the doc for too long I explode so the font changes things up a bit#every day I get more and more tempted to break my rule and start posting before I’ve finished the entire fic#but I won’t bc I’ve been down that path before and it really did not help me at all#and this project is too important to half ass 💪💪#have to keep telling myself that 6 months isn’t that long but yeesh. it feels like an eternity to me#I’ve got two characters on leashes and they’re running rampant in different directions#and surprisingly those two are not eph and charis#but by god when I catch them…..#anyway in lighter news I re-read the Most Important Chapter and cried even though I know exactly what happens so yay!!!!!
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It is Way Earlier than I am normally awake but I can’t stop thinking about the Wayne’s deaths, I need to write about it so bad like… who called the police? Was it Bruce? Did he have to explain to the 911 operator what happened? Was he too in shock to call himself so a random bystander had to do it? Do you think he tried to pick up all the pearls from her necklace and got blood all over his hands? Do you think Alfred had to help him wash it off hours later? Do you think Alfred was able to hide how the story and the picture taken at his most vulnerable moment was all over the newspapers for very long? Can you imagine having to go outside knowing that everyone knew intimately but not genuinely the worst thing that has ever happened to you?
#I need Bruce to be the loneliest but most media exploited child ever#I need it to be so ingrained in his soul that he physically has to make sure that doesn’t happen to Dick when his own trauma is publicized#of course he has to intervene when he sees a little black haired boy in the exact same situation he was like a decade earlier#he knows exactly what it’s like to be left too alone with everyone still watching#I also think that none of his kids ever really consider how bad it was for him#he won’t talk about it#but maybe they come across the old newspapers and things start to add up#like his protectiveness over their privacy and distaste of the press#anyway it’s sleepytown for me#I have to fix my sleep schedule before it causes me to suffer
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I wrote this a long time ago
After WTIT (can you believe it’s been over 2 yrs already?)😳
Anyway, you know how my brain doesn’t stop?
I think I was in spiral mode back then lol (it’s a bit angsty)
(And this is like worst case, I don’t think it will go down this way anymore) Enjoy!🤪
#my theories like to get away from me sometimes.#the reason I don’t think this will happen is mostly because of the length of time the finale will be#I was expecting a total breakdown crash and burn and then a rise from the ashes#that may still happen but now I more expect Thomas to apply his problems to like Lego metaphors or something lol#it’s still angsty but in a fun way? I guess#?#ok mostly it never happens the way I think it will#so it might pull some elements from my theories here but it won’t happen exactly like that#I mean of course it won’t#I think what I’m saying is I’ve let it go so I won’t be disappointed when it inevitably doesn’t happen lol#that was a lot of explanation huh? I’m such a nerd for this show#thomas sanders#sanders sides#roman sanders#sander sides#logan sanders#ts roman#patton sanders#virgil sanders#ts logan
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do u know what wld fix me. some intense gay sex + then we play all of jeff buckley’s album Grace + smoke a joint together
#IM BEING SERIOUS THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW#LIKE WHY AM I NOT DOING THIS#WHY DO I SPEND ALL MY TIME TALKING ABT GAY SEX BUT NOT DOING IT#the closest i will get to this is going to my friends house and smoking a joint + listening to his album#gay sex is not on the table ☹️☹️#although… the friend i’m referring to IS the same one who said she wanted to eat me out#so u know the possibilities are there#but no it won’t happen
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HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TSAMS EPISODE YET?!!!
Bloodmoon might be coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND THIS ASK SENT ME FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM OMG. WATCHED IT AND HOLY SHIT. I’M LIKE ?!?!!!!! IM GENUINELY SURPRISED HE’S COMING BACK ???? I WAS SO SURE BLOODMOON WAS GUNNA STAY DEAD THIS IS FASCINATING. ESPECIALLY RUIN’S IMPLICATION OF ALTERING THEM ???? WHAT IS HE GUNNA DO 2 THE BOYS……. IM VERY INTRIGUED
#asks#crack-a-lackin-max#honestly tho i rlly can’t stress how much i thought bloodmoon was going to Stay Dead?????#Like don’t get me wrong i am honestly terribly excited because i miss bloodmoon a LOAHT and if they return that means I can pick apart-#-their character more!!!#however to Me this is so out of left field that i’m also just like HUH AHDISNKDLC#i wonder if ruin is going 2 put bloodmoon thru the horrors tho……#modify them 2 make them obedient is what ruin said. that is smth they have Never wanted to be and I can imagine that will be Maddening if-#-it works. but also like. this isn’t exactly a revival like it is with Lunar. Bloodmoon /died/ died. No nanobots left#A second version of being built. A new version is being built. It’s likely that the new Bloodmoon won’t have any memories#So can you imagine waking up with an insatiable urge to maim and kill and the one person you want to do it to has a failsafe to make sure-#-that you can’t do that and everyone around you seems to know you already and has a deep fear of hatred towards you?#wouldn’t that be more frustrating and confusing than the ever-present hunger? Wouldn’t that drive them a little insane?#sorry this probably won’t happen but could u imagine AHAHBSJABS#sun and moon show spoilers#tsams#bloodmoon#xero thoughts and rambles#bc of my tags LMAO
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my opinion on season 11 is that ian and mickey were all over the place from episode to episode and i ultimately wasn’t very happy with where it ended for them
#just felt kind of incomplete and boring in terms of their getting an apartment arc#like mickey was still genuinely very unhappy about it and they just left it like that?#and obviously i didn’t love how they did the terry stuff.#i think. there’s something to it because you can never truly predict how you’re gonna feel about something like that#even if it’s a piece of shit who you truly hate like. feelings happen.#and that could have been interesting to explore but it wasn’t done in a way that felt interesting#it just felt like a waste of time when we could’ve been doing other stuff with their screentime#and the beginning was so good i was having sooo much fun when ian was like yeah let’s steal an ambulance and yes we can have guns again.#let’s fuck in the ambulance. etc.#that was so hot and then they ruined it both in that scene that i wanted to SEE and with where they took the story after#like how quickly ian jumps back to ‘well we won’t do crimes then :)’ i thought he was having FUN doing crimes#like are they still doing their security shit? are they still working with stolen equipment?? i want them to do crimes :(#(when i lay it all out like that i’m like perhaps ‘ian being exited about doing crimes’ is not a Good Sign for him. but#it really wasn’t presented that way in context. like i don’t think that’s what they were going for there#and he can be doing better and still have fun doing stupid shit#a la their little outing before he got arrested by the military#yes that was like. 5 years earlier but i’m still like what happened to THAT ian he got boring#and i’m not saying like. him being healthy is boring. i’m saying let him be healthy and also have fun.#anyway.)#also like. signing a lease on the spot against mickeys wishes. kind of fucking impulsive and reckless. but no it’s bc he wants#to have a better life or whatever so it’s fine.#idk i just want to see them steal shit and fuck in an ambulance#and i mean like OVERALL ian has not been as much of a Crime Guy as others. certainly not compared to mickey#like he’s DONE crimes obviously but not in a. it’s his lifestyle way. i guess?#so idk why i’m like i want him to go BACK to that if that wasn’t exactly what he was doing in the first place#but he LIKES doing shady shit with mickey and having fun and idk why they bothered showing us that#if they were gonna drop it by the end of the season that i can only assume they knew would be the final season#it just felt like they didn’t know what to do with the two of them all season and they ended the season in a less satisfying place#than they started#r.txt
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You know… I think I’d enjoy bridgerton more if it engaged in its stakes more than it engaged with its payoff. You know. Like all the jane austen’s novels it’s trying to chase through charm
#like. idk. it’s fun but it’s disenchanting bc it doesn’t engage with class social structures in any meaningful way#also where are the fucking soldiers??? shouldn’t there be some colonels running around?#it’s regency what does everyone not know that the napoleonic wars are happening#like this is what I’m saying it won’t engage with any of the history and then try to pass off small gestures as the things that love is#made of. like. did you not read p&p??? god sakes#and what’s worse is that a good portion of other copypastes in this genre that I have seen do exactly the same thing#i mean even sanditon which I would accuse of similar crimes still manages to talk about colonialism and race in a way more meaningful way#even if it does seem a little far fetched#and I’m glad penelope is finally getting an arc but even still its like. it never wants to really penetrate the fatness issue#like it’s not the crux of why she’s so socially outcast and rather make it about her being a wallflower#and yeah maybe I’m too close to this one and I care a little too much bc I have been in her position before (and spoilers it didn’t end well#but all of this is to say is that the pure wish fulfillment kinda bores me ngl. like put the characters through their paces for gods sake#and ofc I’m saying this coming off game of thrones so ofc my outlook is bleak but like. romance can be more fun and maybe it would have#a better reputation than it does if we didn’t just act like its happening in a vacuum
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🗿
#wait crikey my brain has been so fried by everything in the last day that I kind of forgot to make the connection#of “out of the oven into the microwave” aka living the same disaster again but in speedrun mode with the same results#(and maybe actually learning your lesson seeing it all happen so quickly)#<- is basically EXACTLY what happened to me last summer with me resigning a crush of two years that I finally realized would only#break me worse the longer I held out hope#and then ju s t as I was getting out of that I fell headfirst into another crush where basically all my fears from the past crush came true#(i mean every. single. one)#(won’t elaborate on what they were but just know that it was kinda scary how specifically it matched)#but in the space of three days instead of two years#and because of that horrific weekend and the embarrassment I brought on myself I decided to just. not look at boys at all this year#or for as long as possible perhaps#and like. wow#OUT OF THE OVEN AND INTO THE MICROWAVE FR#elly's posts#elly oversharing hours dhhdgsgs
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I just tried to use wattpad and I don’t know how you fear wattpad users do it. Every single fic I found was either smut, Y/N (nothing against yn but i just personally don’t like readinf it) or ships I’m not that fond of. No heart wrenching stories and definetly not as easy to use as my darling ao3 (may she soon recover) so all in all, I respect the hell out of wattpad users that actually find good fics in a sea of yn and oneshots. Maybe I just don’t know how to use it but still.. I miss ao3 and how easy it is to find good writing
#ao3#ao3 down#it’s still down for me and I’m suffering#I won’t be able to sleep without my bedtime stories#wattpad#wattpad users are a different breed tbh#my friend refuses to use ao3 in favor of wattpad and she scares me deeply#got too used to simplicity and knowing exactly what tags give me what I like#makinf me use ao3 is like making a freshwater fish swim in saltwater#it’s just not gonna happen without pain and suffering#ok I’m ranting#Textpost#ao3 my beloved#I miss em so bad#come back to me#anyways imma go to bed now#or at least try
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