#idk i just want to see them steal shit and fuck in an ambulance

[dashiellqvverty]

my opinion on season 11 is that ian and mickey were all over the place from episode to episode and i ultimately wasn’t very happy with where it ended for them

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

Part 1 of ?????

Started writing this fic a while ago and then lost faith in it. Should I continue? Feel bad for not posting much lately so I thought I'd share this. Read on and weigh in.

COME OUT TONIGHT

NO

You don't have to fucking shout?

Said the pot to the kettle?

Oh you grandmother The caps were an accidental by-product of voice-to-text Blame Siri if you're going to blame anyone

You have a Samsung Galaxy S20.

HAD. It got smashed. Worst luck. Listen, come out with me tonight.

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm tired!

https://www.boots.com/wellness/vitaminsandsupplements/vitamins-supplements-shop-by-ingredient/echinacea

Hah (indifferent)

Just come out with me! Isaac has to go see some godawful student performance of the Antigone in wherever the fuck Chichester is and it's Sirius's flatmate's birthday party so I have to go and I don't know any of his weird mates

You don't HAVE to go.

Have to/want to Semantics

I'm not in a birthday party mood. I'm having a stressful week. My arse has been tense since Tuesday.

I will wade into the deep and massage your arse if I have to, just come It's a swank pad in Belgravia! I bet they'll have all sorts of expensive nibbles!

I read that as expensive nipples.

Those too!

Partying it up with the children of wealthy Tories. Sounds super fun.

Just come out with me, for fuck I'll pick you up at 7 and we can steal their silverware if it's boring as the grave

URGH I'll go but I'm NOT dressing up!

You don't have to dress up!

FINE!

*

take the drawings down please i'm begging you i'm actually begging you

Nah mate

siriusssssssss pleeeeeease

Nah

PLEASE

Nah

PLEASE ffs it's MY birthday!!!! there are going to be PEOPLE there! standing around! AT EYE LEVEL

I don't see what the problem is.

EVERYONE will see what the problem is! they literally will not be able to IGNORE what the problem is!

Sounds like a recipe for lively discussion to me tbh

that is NOT what i want people talking about at my birthday!

If I take them down, I'll have to take all the nails out and that'll leave nail marks all over the walls. It would be unsightly.

MORE UNSIGHTLY THAN YOUR DICK, SIRIUS?

My dick is bewitching.

DIE

*

She walks in expecting to find herself the infiltrator of a Made in Chelsea/Royal Ascot/Henley Regatta netherworld, filled with a gaggle of giggling, SW-postcode socialites wielding suspiciously powder-edged Harrods Amex cards in the place of horses and boats, but that's not what actually greets her on the other side of the lacquered front door.

What greets her is really quite ordinary.

Aside from the naked drawings of Kingsley's mate, which aren't.

Otherwise, the whole affair is pretty relaxed. People her age are clustered in their small groups, swigging beers. There's a table of oven-heated party foods, salty snacks and rapidly depleting ramekins of guac. She spies more band shirts than there are dress shirts. There's a round of Fortnite in full swing on the TV.

It's all just...startlingly normal. A normal birthday party.

And that's sort of embarrassing, really.

Where are all the visible Tory toffs, she wonders? Where is the braying laughter? The Eton alumni reunion? The glimpse of hunting-happy tweed and shotgun barrels as a coat cupboard door swings shut? Where's the indelible air of sneering superiority, of "we're richer and more privileged and better than you, so fuck the NHS and death to foxes!" that she'd been expecting? There's a fucking Henry Hoover in the corner of the hall, for Christ's sake. Lily came here to smile through her teeth at them all, to listen to the champagne problems privilege that bubbled from their lips and tell herself that she was the one who knew better, who thought better. Her plain white tee and skinny jeans and scuff-toed, high-top trainers were supposed to be a statement, a subtle setting-apart, but she's not even the most underdressed person in the room.

She pre-judged a house full of people. What's that about?

There's a lesson to be found in this. Perhaps.

*

James covered all of the dicks in Paw Patrol stickers that he bought from the newsagent on his way home from his mum's, but Sirius peeled them all off while he was taking a soothing lavender bath, so what's the bloody point in birthdays anyway?

It's early in the evening, and he's wedged—against his will—between the dining room bar and Shane Ruttle, who has just pointed at one of the many lamentable dicks and asked, "Is this one of yours?" which James kind of wants to thump him for. It's bad enough that he looks like a madman who stuffed his house with naked drawings of his brother, now people are actually assuming that he drew the damn things, even though most of the compositions are appallingly far beneath his skill level. He's a professional illustrator, for the love of god, and Shane is really standing before him like the posturing prick he is, asking him if he's the one who drew Sirius with one arm disproportionately longer than the other.

He knows that he should cheer up.

It is his birthday. There is cake.

Good cake, too, not the kind that gets buried in too-thick fondant that he has to pick off before he can eat what's underneath.

The problem is, there's also a party, and his friends are his friends, Peter and Sirius included, and Peter and Sirius can both get drunk much faster than James can. When Peter and Sirius get drunk, serious injuries tend to follow, Remus tends to fuck off in a flash and James tends to be the one who calls for an ambulance or mothers them back to health—physical, mental or otherwise. He has just turned twenty-six, and these repeated, drunkenly dramatic medical emergency scenes are starting to wear a little thin.

Can't a man get comfortably drunk and have a laugh at his own birthday party?

No, he can't, because Peter's already halfway to trashed, wobbling unsteadily towards the French doors that lead to the terrace, wearing that look on his face that says I'm definitely going to vomit or maybe even shit myself like I did on that one night we all spent in Munich with the Belgian handball team and the creepy tour guide who couldn't keep his sleazy hands to himself. For the sake of sparing the lawn such a punishment, James hastily removes himself from Shane, grabs Peter by the collar, shoves him in the direction of the downstairs loo and retreats to the safety of the living room, where there are, at least, no naked drawings of Sirius gracing the walls.

Most of the people in here are transfixed by Saffy Stephens, who is down to the last three in her Fortnite game and cursing like a sailor, but there are a small pile of birthday cards on the end table where James and Sirius normally keep their keys. He perches on the sofa arm, sets his half-drunk beer bottle on the carpet, pushes his dark, disheveled hair away from his forehead and begins leafing through them. It's a necessity when one lives with Sirius, who thinks nothing of swiping gift cards when the mood strikes him and he's had enough to drink.

They're mostly from his female friends, and all pretty standard, until he reaches the middle of the pile and finds a card bearing a picture of a moustached tabby and the caption: Have a Purr-fect Birthday!

The inscription inside is written in a lovely, swirling hand.

To Jasper/Jack/Jason/maybe Ja Rule?/J-something idk

(see above: everything I've learned about you from the friend* I came here with, verbatim)

(*who can't remember your name)

Happy Birthday! Thank you for (not) specifically inviting me, a stranger, to your party to celebrate this momentous event in your life. Please enjoy this festive card/social nicety/convention from me to you. My friend brought rum which you may prefer.

I'll be around. Not that you'll know.

LE

James lowers the card and twists on the sofa arm at once, eyes darting around the room in search of its author, as if they might be laying in wait to watch him read it and see how he reacts. Nobody appears to have ducked behind the couch, however, so the situation merits further scrutiny.

Obviously, he needs to meet this person.

A mystery! At his birthday party!

He perks right up after that.

*

She's coming out of the downstairs loo when a short, blonde man in a garish Hawaiian shirt barrels past her and pukes all over the chequerboard tiled floor, narrowly missing her jeans.

"Oh no," he moans into his wet hands. "Oh no—"

"There there, mate," says Lily consolingly, never one to judge somebody for getting drunk early at a party. She pats him on the back before squeezing past him and rejoining Kingsley, who is standing in one of this meandering Georgian house's many hallways, chatting to a bloke in a houndstooth sweater vest and holding two glasses of something very, very sparkly that she must try at once.

"It's like...it's like everything and nothing at the same time," Houndstooth Bloke is saying when Lily draws close, gesturing to a huge canvas painting of a rain-soaked fairground at night.

"Is it?" Kingsley asks.

"Mmm. Very." Houndstooth shakes his shoulders like he's slipping out of a robe. "Meant to be esoteric, I suppose."

That sounds suspiciously like pretentious bullshit to Lily, who doesn't find the concept of a merry looking fairground all that difficult to absorb. Kingsley knows more about the art world than she does, but he must agree with her assessment because he grunts and shoves her glass into her hand when she stops beside him, and more roughly than she deserves, as if she's the one who landed him in this mess of a conversation to begin with.

Trust him to find himself stuck with the only dick (not etched by a 4B Steadtler graphite pencil) in the building, and trust her to be stuck with the person who got himself stuck with King.

"What are we talking about?" she asks brightly, just to fuck with him.

"Drink your champagne, there's a good little hen," King mutters, his teeth clenched together, hallway lights bouncing off the smoothly waxed dome of his bald head.

"We've been discussing this piece." Houndstooth nods to the painting, but his limpid eyes narrow on Lily's face. "Christ, you're very redheaded, aren't you?"

It's decided. She'll wait 'til Houndstooth is drunk and trip him up with Henry Hoover's hose.

"Ergo soulless, yes," she agrees.

"And you...enjoy that?" he asks, as if being redheaded is her profession.

"Very much, thanks."

"Hmmp. Well. I came here with Saffron," he announces, pronouncing it Sef-ron. As if Lily is supposed to know who that is. "Platonically, of course. Actually, we're some sort of cousins, I think. What do you think the artist is trying to convey?"

He's very pointedly asking her, so Lily blinks at the painting, her eyes on the outstretched arm of a child on the carousel.

"I like the pretty colours," she decides aloud.

"Right," says Houndstooth, "but that's not—"

"And the lights, too. The lights are really pretty."

"But—"

"I love funfairs, actually," she brightly continues, finding a strange satisfaction in playing dumb in front of Houndstooth and his overbleached fade. Although she does really like the colours. "Haven't been to one in years!"

"Yes, good, whatever, but what is the artist trying to convey?"

"What artist?" comes a voice from behind them.

Lily glances over her shoulder and finds herself looking up at the man whose penis she's spent the past thirty minutes avoiding eye contact with, though he is taller, better proportioned and infinitely more beautiful than any of those crudely drawn depictions could possibly convey. He is also beplumed and bejewelled like a pirate, wearing a sumptuous velvet jacket over a loose white shirt, numerous rings on his fingers and an assortment of silver chains around his slender neck, while his grey eyes and elegantly high-set cheekbones are framed by a tumble of black hair that genuinely looks like silk.

The man is so beautiful, in fact, that Lily immediately wonders why he's been taking sketches home from the life drawing class that he and Kingsley pose for—hence their acquaintance and Lily's presence at this party—when nothing she's seen tonight has done him any justice.

Most happily, his penis is tucked safely out of sight.

"Alright, Sirius?" says King.

"Alright, Marvel?" Sirius claps a hand to the taller man's massive shoulder. Kingley's muscles bulge in a way that cannot be hidden by modern habiliments. "What are we talking about?"

"Not much." Houndstooth looks put out by the arrival of yet another person. "We were just mesmerised by this piece."

Lily refrains from gesturing to the painting with both hands and a "ta-dah!" choosing instead to sip her champagne.

It's very good champagne. Mmm. Yes.

"Oh, yeah, it's really something," Sirius agrees. He brushes past Kingsley and runs a finger over the illegible squiggle of a signature on the canvas. His nails are beautifully manicured. "Local guy, young up-and-comer. I assume you've heard of Algernon?" he asks Houndstooth, fixing him with a steely-eyed stare.

"Er, yes." Houndstooth's gaze slides from Sirius to the painting. "I know him."

Sirius's eyebrows lift. "Know him personally?"

"Well—"

"That's so weird, I heard he never speaks to people."

Houndstooth chews on the inside of his cheek, weighing up the challenge. "How…funny."

"Funny?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just, I know I've spoken to him before, and since you've bought his painting I assumed that you'd have—"

"That is funny, actually," Sirius interrupts, "because the artist is my brother, and Algernon is the name of his cat."

Kingsley has been tugging on his earring and almost rips it out of his ear as his body convulses, champagne spraying from his nostrils, while an alarming red flush sweeps across Houndstooth's face and he begins to sputter on his own self-importance. Sirius has clearly decided that he's done with all of that noise, however, because he turns back to Lily instead, looking her up and down with great and sudden interest.

"Who's this then?" he asks Kingsley, cocking his head to one side. "James's present?"

The champagne glass swings down and Lily fixes him with a deadpan stare. "Excuse me?"

Sirius slants a grin at Kingsley, a quick flash of teeth. "This one's queenly, isn't she?"

Kingsley wipes his nose with the back of his hand and laughs again. "Hardly."

"This is Primark, mate," Lily retorts, tugging on her t-shirt.

"Queenliness is a state of mind," says Sirius, "not a state of wardrobe."

"You had me marked down as a prostitute not ten seconds ago."

"Oh, that. I was only joking," he sighs, and grips her arm at the elbow, his long fingers cool against her skin. "But still, you're far too attractive to stand here talking to this clown. Come with me and I'll find you someone better."

*

James's friends are useless.

And drunk. Useless and drunk—or sort of drunk, in Saffy's case. Remus is certainly already pissed, but Remus is on meds so often that he drinks but once in a blue moon. One cocktail is usually enough to set him off, and he's been hard at the gin since he turned up with Peter at six.

"I don't know anyone with those initials," Saffy declares, once she has read, examined and even sniffed the birthday card for clues. "Except for Lisa Edelstein."

"Who's Lisa Edelstein?"

"Cuddy from House," says Remus, lowering the negroni from which he has been drinking deeply.

James pulls a face. "What the fuck is a Cuddy?"

"Oh, actually, it could mean le?" Remus suggests.

"Yes!" Saffy points at him like he might be onto something. "Like the French word for the?"

"Exactly, like—"

"It doesn't mean that!" James interrupts, unwilling to allow such profanity in his home. "That doesn't make sense, why would somebody sign their name as the?"

"Now you're asking me to explain how French people think?" says Saffy derisively, adjusting her bra strap beneath that burnt orange waistcoat she loves, the one that makes her look like she's directing a pornographic movie in the 70s when she pairs it with her tortoiseshell-framed aviators. It clashes wildly with her electric blue buzz-cut. "Am nooooo drunk enough for that."

"They could be one of those one word moniker pop stars, I suppose," Remus pipes up, smiling slyly. "You know, like Madonna?"

They think James doesn't realise that they're taking the piss out of him, but neither of them are sober enough to attempt their gambit with any kind of subtlety or grace.

"You know that's actually her real Christian name?" says Saffy.

Remus turns towards her with interest. "What, Madonna?"

"Yeah!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!" Saffy repeats. "I thought it couldn't possibly be her real name because, I mean, Madonna, yeah? But then I looked it up and apparently that's the name her mummy gave her, just goes to show—"

"I'm sorry," James interrupts, "but is Madonna relevant to this conversation?"

"Yes, always," says Saffy.

"She's an international pop megastar," Remus seconds.

James stares at his friend incredulously. "Drinking really chips away at your wit, y'know?"

"Does it?" Remus grins lazily and jiggles his cocktail in the air. "Oh, well, I'm negronly joking."

Saffy does a spit-take without the spit and clings helplessly to Remus's shoulder as she laughs, knees buckling, bangles tinkling, but James fights his own urge to start snickering.

"It's not that funny," he lies, and Remus eyes him with an alarmingly teacher-like shrewdness, despite the tellingly intoxicated flush that has crept into his thin, freckled face.

James's love of puns is tragically well known.

"You didn't get it." Remus points at his drink. His speech is starting to slur. "This is a negroni, what I said was—"

"Yeah, I got that part, I just—"

"Jesus fuck, look at her!" Saffy suddenly hisses, staggering sideways into Remus and sending him into the wall in a flurry of giggles—Remus giggling?—her voice hushed and urgent. "Who the hell is that?!"

James does look, following the direction of Saffy's gaze. Sirius has just entered the living room, casually clutching the elbow of a……

……goddess.

An actual. Like. Goddess.

A goddess. In James's house. In his living room. In the place where he eats his chocolate boulder cereal and rewatches Scrubs (even season 9, which is hilarious, and very unfairly disparaged by Joe Public) on Saturday mornings.

She's a goddess. A real one, and cleverly disguised as a mortal, sure, with her slouchy white t-shirt and her big hoop earrings and her light blue jeans that are torn at the knees, wearing her shoulder-length red hair half up, half down and slightly messy, but that doesn't hide what she is.

"Oh my god," he murmurs. His heart is pounding all of a sudden, which is so...utterly bloody stupid, but Saffy's right, bloody look at her, Jesus fuck.

"Surely she can't be with Sirius?" Saffy murmurs back.

"No, she—" He watches Sirius lean down to mutter something in the redhead's ear. A ghost of a laugh flits across her beautiful face. "She's not his—he isn't—"

"D'you think—"

"No, I—"

"Good," says Saffy firmly. She lets go of Remus and rises, lengthening her spine. It is a battle stance of some sort, presumably. "Because I saw her first."

"No!" James cries, wounded, and the redhead shoots him a curious look with a pair of eyes that are startlingly emerald green, even from all the bloody way over here. He spins to face Saffy and lowers his voice, face burning. "It's my house!"

"What are you arguing here, ownership rights?"

"No but it—it's my birthday!" James retorts, jabbing at his own chest. "And, actually, and—"

"It's in the bloody post!"

"—you didn't get me a present!" he finishes in triumph, not that he knows what he's arguing for, because the likelihood is that his tongue will glue itself to the roof of his mouth if he even dares to look in her direction one more time. "Plus I set you up with Vanya Petrich, with whom, as I recall, you enjoyed four years—"

"Stop throwing that in my face!"

"—four blissful years—"

"Is it my fault that you've never fancied any girl I've set you up with?!"

"—promised me an Easter ham for setting you up with her and I never got it—"

"So now you'll trade a woman for a ham?" Saffy accuses, though her face is too lit up, her brown eyes too crinkled at the corners—she's having fun with this and she isn't going to fool him and she knows it. "That's so low, even—"

"Don't start with that," James scathingly cuts in. "You offered me Sean Connery's autograph for Bonnie Grogan's number—"

"Which you never gave me!"

"Because you forged the bloody signature!"

"And now she's bloody married!"

"Yeah, well, Isabella wouldn't give me a counterfeit present, would she?" he retorts, and Saffy lets her shoulders drop, smirking. "This is pointless, Saf, we can't—"

"She's just left with Sirius," Remus informs them, and burps.

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

[lactosefreevanillayoghurt]

In Which Chess Absolutely Definitely Does Not Look Like A Dog

I wrote a thing!! It was inspired by a tiny hc from @alltheworldsapaige and here??? it is??? (1424 words) 

Katherine™ sent you a photo.

Katherine™: this dog looks like you

Chess looked down at her phone from where it buzzed beside her laptop. She raised an eyebrow and instinctively typed out a response.

uno: What the fuck.

And then she looked at the image. She blinked, got up off her bed, walked over to her mirror and stared at herself. In what she would later call a 'moment of weakness', she raised the dog picture to show next to her face. Her phone buzzed again.

Katherine™: you haven't denied it tho

uno: Kate, I do not look like that fucking dog what the hell

uno: There. That's my denial.

Katherine™ sent you a photo.

Katherine™: yea but you look more like the dog than i do

Chess looked in disbelief at the most recent picture. It was Kate, grinning at the camera, beanie pulled low over their face and looking very much like a little shit. She shook her head.

uno: Just because I look more like the dog than you do, does not mean that either of us actually look like the dog

Katherine™: ...

Katherine™: whatever

-

Chess had thought that the dog picture was a one-off. But no. Gradually, more and more pictures clogged up her phone storage, until a minimum of one dog picture was sent a day. After the first few weeks, she began to wonder where all these dogs came from.

"I just find them and then take a picture." Kate shrugged nonchalantly.

"....So essentially these are random dogs you see on the street?"

"Yep!"

"Do the owners know you're taking a picture of their dog?"

Kate stopped picking at her nail varnish to look mildly sheepish, "Well... No...."

"Kate!"

"What?! I've only gotten shouted at once!"

"Oh my god." Chess slung an arm around her friend's shoulders, leaning her weight on them. "I can't believe you."

"Yeah, cool, love you too."

-

Chess found out that Kate was in hospital not from her friend themselves, but from the Tigers group chat.

Cairo: hi @uno idk if you know but kate's been taken to hospital she fell at practice

Chess was out of the door in minutes. She longer cared about her own exhaustion from a day of Olympics press, instead running on fear-fuelled adrenaline. The ride to the hospital was so easy it felt almost surreal and she found herself sweet-talking a nurse into letting her into the ward before she'd properly registered the situation. Her mind ran on overdrive, pictures of Kate hooked up to multitudes of machines or pale and upset, stuck to a hospital bed creating a silent movie behind her eyelids. What she was greeted with wasn't quite so soap opera-esque as she'd imagined but still broke her heart nonetheless. Kate was curled in a ball, the wrist in plaster resting gingerly beside them, eyes shut tight. Chess approached quietly, smiling when Kate opened her eyes at the footsteps.

"Checkers!" Kate's voice was quiet and sleepy. The other girl laughed at the thought of big tough angry Kate now soft from the pain medication.

"Hello Katherine." Chess sat beside her on the bed, "What the hell did you do this time?"

Kate leaned into Chess' hip, still cradling the broken wrist. "See, I don't even know. I just fell and then fucking Annleigh was calling a fucking ambulance."

Chess rubbed their back, frowning, "Why haven't you been released yet? Surely they should just send you home after setting your wrist?"

"Mmmff." Kate wriggled around for a bit and then spoke up again, their voice muffled by the duvet. "Apparently I went into shock. They want to keep me here for "observation". Prob'ly so I don't, like, have a heart attack or something."

"Jesus."

She watched as Kate flopped onto her back, squeezing their eyes shut again. After only a few seconds, she sat up abruptly, eyes wide and panicked. "No!"

Chess went back to being on high alert - at this rate she'd be the one having the heart attack. "What? Are you okay? Kitkat, what happened?"

"I didn't get to send you your dog picture!!" Kate's voice was distraught, their eyes teary.

Chess looked at her. Kate looked back. Then she began to laugh. Kate looked mildly offended. "Kate. You-" Laughter cut her off and the teen in question dug an elbow into her side. "You broke your wrist and all you care about is my dog picture?! You don't even like dogs!"

"Yeah, but you do!!"

Chess snorted. "I'm allergic, Kate, I don't like them that much."

Kate looked baffled and blinked up at her. "Oh." They began to laugh too, the hysteria increased by the looks sent by other members of the ward. "Not gonna stop sending them though."

"Okay, Kitkat, you do you, boo."

-

Katherine™ sent you a photo.

Katherine™: if we got a dog it would look like this

uno: I thought you didn't like dogs

Katherine™: i don't

Katherine™: but look at its face

uno: That dog looks like Annleigh

Katherine™: annleigh can't look like a dog she's a horse girl

uno: You make no sense

Katherine™: agree with me tho our dog would look like this

Katherine™: it's a big dog

uno: .....Is that it.

Katherine™: ye

uno: Kate, that's a great dane, I don't think you'd be able to see over it

Katherine™: why am i still friends with you when all you do is insult my height

uno: Awww but it's such a fun way to spend my time!!!!!

Katherine™: you're never getting a dog photo again

That was a lie. In fact, it was such an intense lie, that Kate sent two dog photos the next day. Chess only laughed and patted them on the head, if only to accentuate the height difference.

-

uno sent you a photo.

uno: Woof.

Katherine™: hOW dAre you

Katherine™: this is MY thing and you come and steal it??????

Katherine™: blocked.

Katherine™: banished.

Katherine™: disowned.

uno sent you a photo.

uno: Meow?

Katherine™: now this i can support

Katherine™: unblocked

Katherine™: hugged

Katherine™: loved

uno: Lovely.

-

It had been going so well. Training was as hard as ever but her coaches seemed pleased, and she was doing okay all in all. The Olympics were set for almost a month away and her days were spent either looping that one damn stunt, organising travel or attending yet another press interview. It was tiring, really, and even though she'd been given time off school for the competition, the days were still long and the hours draining. She hadn't been home in a week, with her base now elsewhere in the state, somewhere that her coach said would 'optimise training abilities'. Chess told herself that it would be over soon and that she was seventeen now and that she should be able to spend a week away from her friends, away from Kate, without feeling so lonely. God, how would she deal with college if she couldn't stand even a week away from that one friend?

Maybe she'd just been exhausted, or maybe her body had wished too hard for a way out, but she'd fallen. She felt her knee twist beneath her, pain shooting through her leg, and then she'd hit the floor. Within seconds there were people crowding around her, shouting for an ambulance, holding her with such care that she wanted to scream.

Her mind filled with static as she obeyed each command given and answered all the questions shot at her. One clear thought stayed present through the pain - if Kate was here, my knee would be fine. It was ridiculous to think that one person could heal what would later be discovered to be a horrifically serious injury, but in that moment, Chess was convinced that Kate could have fixed her broken world.

Instead, she shut her mouth and stared up at the ceiling. Fuck.

Surgery passed in a blur. Later, she wondered if this was how Kate had felt that one time they'd broken their wrist. Alone, cold, and hazy with pain.

Her phone buzzed by her side at the same moment that the door to her room opened.

Katherine™ sent you a photo.

Chess looked at the photo. It was a dog, one leg in a tiny animal cast, the owner visible near the top of the image, a smile etched on their face.

Katherine™: this dog looks like you

She looked away from her phone and up at the figure who'd entered the room. She smiled, finally, and Kate smiled back.

-

[anotherworldash]

“Selfish Desire has No Moral Boundary” : Kuraneokuro dynamic exploration

This post is the long version of the authors' note of Selfish Desire has No Moral Boundary, a Kura-Neo-Kuro OT3 Fic.

(link : https://archiveofourown.org/works/29108781 )

While we’re writing this KuraNeoKuro OT3 fic, we couldn’t help exploring both men’s selfish, predatory dynamic to Neon. Which is..so HOT!!!! Kurapika and Chrollo are so dominant while Neon’s so submissive ! Both guys treated her good a bit, then proceeded to fulfill their needs.

They care about her but they also have their own goals. Kurapika and Chrollo are so dominant while Neon’s so submissive ! They could tame the brat and play her like piano, while they’re entangled in her charm.

Now let’s get to the point which part of their dynamics we are exploring in the fic :

(To avoid confusion, nick Anotherworldash = Cb_w in AO3. This post is taken from our conversation during fic writing, so please read it as dialogue script.)

1. Her power dynamics with Chrollo and Kurapika is very submissive.

(Anotherworldash: Holy shit this is so kinky)

Legitnumbkid : Neon has daddy issues; so it makes sense why she's prone to having selfish men like Chrollo and Kurapika around her. Other women in hxh, we don't really know who are their parental figures are and they don't seem to be prone to attracting men that are bad for them.

Palm is a potential one but i think she's more of the "crazy dom-sub" energy

And it's not like Chrollo and Kurapika don’t give a fuck abt her... they do but they have their own goals.

She's like their prey and they are hunters ahhaha

Anotherworldash : Neon just cant put up a fight, but that's what makes it hotter!

Legitnumbkid : Yeah and the other women are kinda independent since they fight and all. But Neon... I think even in canon, her power dynamics with Chrollo or Kurapika is very submissive.

Anotherworldash : Trueeee

And it's even canon

They're targeting her from day one

Legitnumbkid : That's why I don't even blame her for being a bit selfish, detached and have a sick hobby... because the men around her treat her like an object. that's why she sees people like an object kekek

2. Neon is prone to men's “ingenuine” affections

 (Anotherworldash: Holy shit this is also so kinky)

Anotherworldash : Also she doesn't have this... friend role in her life. Even Palm has "colleague" like knuckle

Legitnumbkid : Yea... she's lonely... so even more prone to men's ingenuine affections.

Anotherworldash : Muahaha... poor neon but at the same time it's what makes her ships so hot.

Neon's only friend is probably kurapika who originally targeted her😂😂😂😂😂

Ikrrr so hot omg

Legitnumbkid : And even so... kurapika's not even her friend if he ends up marrying her (read marriage theory here: https://scentedmoviesaestheticempath.tumblr.com/post/638404921741475840/compiled-cbws-kuraneo-thoughts-theories)

the closest "friend" she can have is her employees; which is like... not even pure friends. I know in some fics they put that she has friends and all... but i doubt it. She lived life in a bubble.

Anotherworldash : Yeah that's why she immediately fall for chrollo trick

Probably in her life, no one ever asked her opinion about life

4 Both guys originally wanted to “take advantage of her” 

(Anotherworldash: When I thought this couldn’t get more kinky...)

Anotherworldash : I just love how this OT3 dynamic show that kurapika and chrollo are just the same type of man

They both wanted to take advantage of her

Also she trust stranger quite easily

Just so vulnerable. therefore kurapika is guilt ridden and chrollo wanted to keep her safe(even if it's for his benefit, like when he told other spiders not to touch the ambulance)

Also chrollo easily showed his vulnerable side to her by crying 😭😭😭(probably cause she’s a stranger or what but it’s there!)

Legitnumbkid: OMG YA. Technically it's becos Neon needs to live so he can use her powers but I feel like he genuinely likes her as a person.

Same for Kurapika. A lot of people REALLY overestimate kurapika's "hatred" for neon becos of her personality and hobby; when actually, he never once showed any animosity towards her.

Anotherworldash : They just instantly vibed HAHAHAHAH

Kurapika is just like any other men

When he sees the girl is pretty. He is having second thought 😂😂😂😭

Legitnumbkid : and neon feeling uncomfy... it shows that she does have feelings but she's just not that exposed

HAHAH. I love kurapika's hypocrisy

he acts like he is noble and shit.. went to think leorio is a sleaze during the hunter exam for wanting to touch a girl

5. We love the ‘Animals by Maroon 5′ Vibe

Anotherworldash : OT3 just reminds me of  : https://youtu.be/7BJ3ZXpserc

I love how the snakes are shown more than one

Legitnumbkid : YESSS those are chrollo and neon haha

Anotherworldash : Chrollo and kurapika wants to tell her "I'm the man here"

"And you are my woman so you are here to serve me"

Legitnumbkid : Even the original music video is so hot

It's like... so animalistic

hunter-prey

i mean, KURAPIKA IS A HUNTER

Anotherworldash : Adam levine is observing through window when behati is sleeping, calculating. Just like kuraneo and kuroneo 😂😭. Even the pictures thing!

https://youtu.be/qpgTC9MDx1o

Legitnumbkid : I feel like... this is more appropriate to Chrollo tho. Idk why. He's like... stalking/hunting her in YorkNew City.

i bet my jenny money that chrollo jacked off to her pic ahhaha

So hotdamn. "You can't deny the beast inside" HAHHA

Anotherworldash : And his move is so violent... He legit knocked her out

Legitnumbkid : Fangirls be mad bruh but... he just knocked her out? before catching her? ya'all really want that?? HAHHA

Chrollo will steal her heart too

Anotherworldash : Chrollo said "Don't need consent when I'm the man 😬😙"

He legit say that... He stole her and touched her too

6. Their ‘Rivalry’ and their conversation when mentioning Neon 

Kurapika is so mad Chrollo approached and did something to Neon that he forgot abt their ‘hostage exchange’ rule :( where he’s not supposed to harm Chrollo.

Chrollo has mentioned many times he’s not scared of the situation, but Kurapika was not that provoked... until Chrollo mentioned Neon. How awesome

7. Their Parallel to The Great Gatsby (We are fans of the Series!)

Legitnumbkid : Honestly the amount of people in the hxh fandom that hates her without analysing her character is such poor taste and a lack of observation. It’s also similar to how Daisy is so hated but people need to understand that …

OMG SIS I was reading The Great Gatsby Chapter 4 (when Gatsby was talking to Nick) and LOOK AT THIS LINE:

Anotherworldash : And the way Chrollo Grabs neon... Giving her the things she want then claiming her, is just Tom x Daisy  ~

Please refer to this post for more : https://anotherworldash.tumblr.com/post/641807577123012608

That’s the post. Hope you like this OT3 too!

Oh also, have I mentioned that Kurapika was dowsing Neon when she was literally having coffee with Chrollo? O.M.G.

[stevesharrlngtons]

“No I’m killing boys” with robin please ☺️

no i’m killing boys

ok listen, im not sure if i like this or if it’s good (it feels really rushed :/) but i wanted to try something new! if it’s shit, it’s shit. but idk. might delete. this is just me back pedaling in case it is really really awful!

feedback is greatly appreciated tho!

Hunched over her desk with tired eyes, Robin continued to review the files in front of her. The text was beginning to sway and spot on the page, and she knew she needed to call it a night sooner or later, or she’d end up sleeping at her desk again. The following day’s crick in her neck and worn wrinkled blouse always put her off her rhythm. She desperately tried to not make it a habit, but it always seemed to happen. Especially when it came to this case.

They had no leads. No suspects. No motive. Just sporadic killings and an increasing number of dead bodies piling up.

It had been close to a year of this killer’s reign of terror. Sometimes three murders would happen in the span of a week, sometimes there was no victim of months. The perp was either extremely cunning or clinically insane. The only consistencies in all the cases were that the victims were all men ranging from early twenties to late sixties, it seemed no was was kept off this perp’s list. And that they all had a small circular puncture wound on the right side of their throat. The lab had yet to figure out what made the hole, and the detectives had yet to find out the significance.

When Robin’s eyes became sandy and burned with fatigue, she finally conceded her research for the night and decided to turn in. She gathered her things sluggishly and headed for the subway station.

Her mind was still reeling as she stood on the platform, doing her best to connect the any dots in her mind. To think of who the unsub could be, what job could they have, what past were they hiding, were there any clues she missed? She’d have to go over the facts with Henderson tomorrow, he always had a knack for those seeing eye posters.

The train came barreling in and pulled Robin from her theories. She boarded the thinly occupied car and took a seat by the doors, wanting to exit as soon as possible when she arrived at her stop. She rested her head on her shoulder and hoped the rushing movement of the train would lull her to some relaxation. Right as the doors were about to close, a person skid into the car and quickly took a seat across from her, breathing heavily.

Robin, ever the detective, glanced over at the car’s new occupant as discreetly as possible to size them up for any danger. Skilled law enforcement officer or not, she was still a woman on the subway at night.

She was pleasantly surprised to find a particularly attractive woman was the addition to her ride. From the looks of it, she was likely leaving (or going to) a fancy gathering. She wore a thick trench coat over a thin, tight white dress and tights. Her (Y/H/C) locks were swept up in an elegant updo, pieces having fallen around her face from her brisk jog onto the train, and the fierce New York wind no doubt.

Robin subtly admired the woman the woman for the remainder of the ride, doing her best not to stare too long. But it was hard, she was enthralling to look at. She continued to steal glances at the woman until the train stopped and she rose from her seat. She dusted off her jacket and headed toward the exit and Robin as well.

Robin did her best to ignore the fluttering in her chest as the woman neared, and felt her breathing stop as she briefly paused before Robin.

“I think you’re cute too.” She said in a melodic voice, one that made Robin melt, and sent her a wink before exiting the train.

A fucking wink!

And then she was gone.

Robin was glad she was finally alone on the subway as she blushed something fierce and grinned like a teenager.

Robin continued to run into her subway crush.

Each time late in the evening. Each time with the woman in a new persona. One day she was dressed like an Upper East Side wife, the next a rocker chick, the day after that like a french painter, but every time wearing a lovely pair of heels that made her legs look like they went on for miles.

Each time their eyes would meet across the narrow aisle, sending flirty smiles, heated gazes and light conversation. About the weather, the subway, New York neighborhoods and the best place for a late night bite.

Robin began to eagerly look forward to night where she would meet her. Where she could feel the juvenile exuberance of harmless flirting and being in her presence. Robin no longer dreaded late nights at the precinct or taking on extra case loads, because that meant she had a better chance of running into her. Every time they met, Robin considered asking for her number, or to follow her to a pizza place by her apartment for a snack, but always chickened out.

She knew she needed to soon though, she was testing the fates everytime she didn’t. Because one day Robin knew she’d board the train home and the woman would be gone.

Late one evening, as Robin drank gritty cold coffee and poured over a new case file, her phone rang.    

“Buckley,” She answered gruffly, holding the receiver between her cheek and shoulder.

“It’s Henderson. You need to get down to Chelsea, there was another murder.”

Dustin didn’t need to specify any more than that. Robin knew, this was one of theirs, another photo to add to the growing pile in a filing cabinet.

She got the address from her partner and left the station in a hurry. When she arrived, there was yellow tape sectioning of the sidewalk and officers mulling all around. Civilians were trying to peak over the barricades to get a peek at the newest victim, but were mostly thwarted. Robin pushed right by them with no sympathy and marched toward Dustin, who was talking to another detective. Two paramedics were beside them, zipping up a large black body bag. Robin felt her stomach churn as she caught a glimpse of the corpse’s mangled appearance.

“Any leads?” Robin broke up Dustin and Steve’s conversation.

“Nothing out of the ordinary for their MO so far,” Dustin said, dejectedly, “We won’t know more until the autopsy is finished.”

“But they killed out in the open this time, maybe they're getting sloppy.” Steve offered.

Robin only sighed deeply in reply and left the two men to go speak with the crime scene photographers and paramedics. They told her much of the same. No evidence so far, the murder was done in the open, but with no witnesses, the victim was a 34 year old man with a small circular puncture in his neck.    

Robin felt more angry and hopeless with every person she talked to at the scene, and she could tell morale falling amongst her colleagues too. It seemed with every murder, they got father away from any resolution.

Leaving to take a minute to herself, Robin stood a few meters from the others, looking at the big picture. Hoping and praying it would help her see things in a different light. When she was a child and lost a toy on the floor, she’d stand up to get a better viewpoint, to see all the angles, nooks, crannies and obstructions. She always found the toy in the end, and she knew now that if she looked hard enough, she could do it again.

“Lotta people turned out.” Someone hummed over her shoulder, breaking her concentration.

Robin glanced to see who it was, and did a double take. Because there, standing in a large winter jacket and eclectic make up was her, the subway woman. Red and blue light illuminating her (Y/S/C) skin and graceful features.

“Wh-what?”

“Lotta people turned out to take a look at that guy.”

“Well, it was gruesome. People are fascinated by the morbid, I’ve found.” Robin spoke candidly, still in shock that she was here, and oh so close.

“What about you, detective? Are you fascinated by the morbid?” She proposed with a slight pull of her lips.

“I would say I’m fascinated with why people do morbid things.”

“I stopped wondering that a long time ago.” You sighed.

Robin was too lost in her (Y/E/C) eyes to get another word out. All she kept thinking was about how beautiful she was, how close, how good she smelled, and how this was her chance! It was fate that you’d meet her of all places!

A crime scene…

And then Robin’s analytical, paranoid brain overpowered her lovesick one.

She readjusted her look at the woman next to her, taking off her rose colored glasses and actually seeing the person who she had a knack for running into.

She was gazing toward the ambulance, a satisfied smile on her face, an ease to her expression. Her body was calm and her hands were stuffed in her jacket pockets. Robin continued her inspection down her body, her toned legs and too her feet, which were stuffed in her signature pair of expensive black heels.

Black stilettos with the unmistakable dot of coppery red.  

And it clicked. This wasn’t a coincidence, this wasn’t fate. This was a clinically insane and likely cunning person who had been terrorizing New York City. The constant changing appearances, the woman’s fascination with her, the reason she was always out late (matching the timeline of when bodies would appear) her fucking being here now! All this time her partners had theorized that the hole in the men’s necks was some sort of pen or hole punch, but Robin was never convinced. And she was right, it wasn’t a pen or hole punch, it was a fucking heel.

Robin snapped her head up and felt her breathing pause when she saw the woman was already looking at her.

“Is it…?”

She just stood there, an easy smile on her lips and shrugged.

Robin cursed, and grabbed her arm tightly and dragged her toward a nearby ally. She pushed the woman roughly against the wall and all she did was giggle.

“Didn’t know you liked it rough, Detective Buckley.” She teased.

Robin’s jaw clenched. She wasn’t wearing a name tag and she knew for a fact she hadn’t told her her name.

“Start talking, now!” Robin snarled.

The woman’s eyes widened slightly, and she pressed her thighs together for a moment.

“About what exactly?” She grinned, reaching out to play with the lapels of Robin’s coat.

Robin smacked her hands away, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fucking people you’ve be murdering!”

“I’m not killing people, I’m killing boys.” She said very matter a fact.

“Same difference.”

“Not really. Men beat us, they use us, abuse us, take advantage of us, kill us. And that happens? Nothing. Nothing of what they deserve anyway.”

“You’re crazy.” Robin took a step back, shaking her head.

“About you, maybe.”

“Excuse me?”

“Our little rendezvous. They weren’t just for me to learn more about you and this case. I saw you in the paper after a drug bust you orcashracted, and I was instantly attracted to you. This was never a one sided thing, y’know.”

“Well it is now!” Robin said in a harsh whisper.

“It doesn’t have to be,” The woman pushed off the wall and closed the distance between them.

“I can’t be involved with a killer!” Robin’s body language disproved her words as she let the woman come closer.

“No one will know. Because you guys will never catch me. Accept that, it’s ok. I’m better at this than you could ever prove. So, why don’t we just pick up where we left off? Flirting on the G train at midnight... and maybe we could take it a bit further?”

Robin did her best to not let the woman affect her, but her smooth hands and intoxicating perfume we’re waning on her resistance.

“We will catch you, we have, I have. I’ll arrest you right now.”

“No you won’t.”

“Then I’ll tell someone.”

“Wrong again,” She moved to grip Robin’s wrists and place them on her hips, “Because you have no evidence. No one saw me talk to you, no one saw me here. I have no motive, no connection, no weapons. And no one even knows about me right? I pegged you for the secretive type.”

Robin felt her blood boil with fury and her skin heat with arousal.

“I have your shoe. We’ll run the blood on it and match it to the victim.” Robin said through labored breaths.

You hummed out a pouty moan, “You really think I don’t already have a lie ready for that? An alibi or two on top of that?”

Robin didn’t reply.

“So why make this harder for both of us? Let’s just have some fun.” Her lips brushed against Robin’s, who sincerely thought she might have a heart attack if this woman pressed another kiss to her mouth.

“What’s the crime in having some fun?”

She wanted to answer, to tell her to go to hell, to arrest her, to crash her lips to hers and take her in the dirty alley.

But before Robin could decide, someone called her name.

“Buckley? Where’d you run off too?”

She felt the woman pull away and all she wanted was to grab her again.

“Just a minute!” She shouted back to whoever needed her.

“Listen, just tell me-” But she cut her off with a mind numbing kiss.

One that you write about in books and think of at night when you can’t sleep, the kind of kiss that you compare to every other kiss you’ve ever had. Robin felt the woman’s hands ghost over her cheeks, and then her touch was gone.

“Buckley, the hell you doin’?” Harrington asked.

Robin slowly opened her eyes, only to see she had disappeared down the alleyway and out of sight and suspicion.

“Uh, I was just taking a moment.” She cleared her throat and did her best to regain her composure before she turned to face her colleague.

When she did, Steve chuckled, “A moment to put lipstick on at a crime scene? Hopin’ to pick up one of the murder groupies who hang around at the tape?”

Robin swiped a finger over her lips and there she was, leaving your calling card and her affection in bright red. Her skin erupted in goosebumps.

“At least  I can pick up women, Harrington.” Robin tried to play off the moment as casually as possible.

“Piss off.”

“You first, now go to your job.”

Steve grumbled and walked back toward the crime scene, Robin on his tail as she rubbed the transferred lipstick smudge between her fingers and shamefully wondered if she’d find her again.

[onisiondrama]

Killstream w/ Onision 3/30/2020 - Summary Part 3

Re-Upload 

Sorry this is taking me so long to get through. It’s almost 4 hours long.

(Unless specifically stated, everything written is from Greg / James’ words. Parenthesis are my notes/thoughts.):

Greg / James says he knew Hansen wasn’t going to do the interview because he has too much dirt on Hansen and he knew Greg was going to bring it up. His debts, his mistress, having someone kill themselves on his show, the way he showed up to Greg’s house when Greg has chronic depression just like the person that killed themselves- risking Greg’s life.

Greg goes through what happened with the Hansen interview: First Greg asked for a charity interview to be streamed on twitter in December, Hansen wanted it on his own channel, Greg now offered another interview and Hansen said no because he thought it would be on Only Fans, Greg said he wanted it on his twitter, Hansen wanted it on his channel, Greg said to demonetize it, Chris Hasnen tweeted he won’t do any conditions, then an hour later Hansen tweeted it will be demonetized, then Greg was like “fuck yeah I was able to control Chris Hansen”, Mike writes Greg and says it’s going to be pre-recorded, Greg says no, then Greg says you can pre-record it but he’ll livestream it on his channel, they were silent for a while, then Hansen said he wouldn’t do it because he did’t want to hurt the victim’s feelings. Keem guesses his attorney told him not to do it live to keep Greg from bringing up the dirt he has on Hansen.

Host reads from someone telling him to ask Greg why he asked underage fans to send pics in their underwear. Greg says you need proof. He says that doesn’t make sense because his forums were 18+ and appropriate images only and that doesn’t sound like an appropriate image. He wouldn’t ask minors for that. He denies it and says it doesn’t sound like him. (He did not start using an 18+ only rule on his forums until 2017. The Onision XYZ forums ran from October 2016 to May 2017. It had many underage fans submitting photos of themselves for Greg to use in his videos, some in their underwear. This forum had NO age restriction. This video contains clips of Greg saying there is no age restriction on the site and DEFENDING his right to rate the bodies of underage girls in their underwear.)

He says people will show other people asking for stuff on the forums and act like he’s asking for it. (This is true, people do do this. I am not a fan of using other people’s posts from the site against him. There is already a ton of video evidence out there of Greg rating underage fans’ bodies with pics submitted to the XYZ forums.)

Greg says you can use the Wayback Machine to verify it says 18+ only on various forums. (Yes, but only after XYZ was shut down in 2017.)

Host reads a tweet from Repzion asking about Greg’s statement on if you don’t report sexual abuse instantly, you are as bad as a rapist. Greg says he doesn’t remember this tweet. He says he tweets a lot of hilarious things. Greg says he doesn’t agree with it. (The tweets are here. They were from 2016 and 2018.) He says we all tweet stupid shit, but he doesn’t remember that. (He is pretending he doesn’t remember this, but he made an apology video about the tweets three months ago in January. The video is still up on Speaks.)

They all bring up the DMCA abuse. Keem seems particularly angry about that. Greg says if you talk to the right people at Youtube, you get access to cms.youtube.com, which flags your content for you when others use it in their video. When something comes up, Greg always tells it they can’t monetize his content. If they appeal it, he loses his power. Host asks then why does he do it. Greg says the system shows him content and he confirms if it’s his content or not. If he confirms it, the system will claim the video. If they fight it and Greg knows they are not using it in a way that isn’t fair, he gives them 7 days. They can get a copyright strike or talk to Youtube directly to have Youtube review it. Youtube almost always says they don’t know so the give it to the person who’s appealing it. Greg says if Youtube took it down, typically they reviewed it and saw it was stealing. Someone asks if Greg is denying he uses the copyright system to squash criticism of himself. Greg says no, that was never the point. He says he claimed someone the other day that was supporting him because he realized he can’t just claim people that don’t support him. Keem thinks this is hilarious. Greg says if he didn’t do it, he would be using it as a weapon. He says he’s glad he made that decision the other day so he could say that.

Keem asks about GamerFromMars’ theory that Greg found a way to survive on Youtube by becoming the most hated person, making sure people make videos on him that gets millions of views, then claim the videos to collect the revenue. (This is a really good question. I’m glad he brought this up.)  Keem guesses Greg is still bringing in $20k - 30k a month off the flagged videos. Greg says someone freaked out about losing $30 on a video about him that he claimed. Someone says that’s a big deal to some people. Greg says he thinks he made $1,000 off of claimed videos last month. Keem says he means during the prime, when everyone was making Onision videos. Greg says people reuploading the fake meltdown videos was some of the best earnings he’s made because people would reupload it and only change the sound so it was a slam dunk copyright case. He guesses he made $4,000 from copyright claims during that. They sound disappointed with the number. (Idk, to me getting $1,000 - $4,000 a month seems like a lot of really good side money to me.)

Greg explains the Madame situation. He says if she did bring it to court, all he would have to do is show he only made $100 and she used his copyright music. Says you can’t use copyright music, it’s common sense. Says this is an example of someone making a big deal out of copyright when it’s a slam dunk for him. He says it’s not worth bringing to court. Greg says $30,000 would be nice, but that would be worth bringing him to court over.

The host says he’s going to ask about the window incident. Greg says it’s about a little girl, so it should be off limits. He says you don’t talk about Keemstar’s girl. Greg says CPS and detectives investigated it and concluded it was an accident. He doesn’t understand why people question professionals. Keem says he’s seen people say they need their kids taken away because they weren’t watching her. Greg says then you’re calling the detectives stupid. Keem says kids get hurt and do stupid things. Greg says the level of injury was horrifying and they both didn’t know what to do.

Greg says CPS was called when Sarah was there because Sarah or somebody was being horrible. When they showed up, the lady checked that window to make sure it was working. He says after the incident, they couldn’t stop thinking about her checking the window and asking why she did that. They tried to position the room so no one could get to the window, but the kid stood on the back of the bed, put their pressure on the window screen, and the screen popped off. They now have locks on every window.

Greg says he was directly underneath when it happened. He was in the garage and he for some reason wasn’t wearing his headphones like he usually does. Kai was upstairs making dinner. He hears a deep voice, like his son’s. He thought he heard a toy car on the garage door. He was wondering what they were doing outside at 7:00 at night and it was getting dark. He walks upstairs and sees his son playing video games. He thought “what the fuck” because he heard that deep voice mumbling outside. Host asks what it sounded like. Greg says like indistinguishable “uhh uhh”, like humming or groaning. He says the Ring camera caught his reaction, which was horrible to watch. He had to show the detective. His brain couldn’t comprehend what he saw on the ground. It didn’t look like an animal, but it was covered in debris from the driveway and from the grass surrounding it. After a few seconds it clicks and he screams “call an ambulance.” He says he was panicking (he sounds like he’s about to cry for a second) he apologies. He said his kid was looking up to the left, frozen in place. He says the weird thing is the kid wasn’t near the garage door. They were a foot or two away. He says he still doesn’t know what it was that tipped him off.

He says it’s been pretty much a full recovery, but there’s still a little limp. He says they said everything should heal well and by the time they’re an adult you won’t even see that anything ever happened on the scull. He says a 7 year old fell off a golf cart around the same time and is now a full cripple. He says Kai was following that story online. He says the brain was swollen, but the scull didn’t crack so the brain had no room to expand. In his situation, the scull cracked so it gave the brain room to swell and the brain didn’t kill itself.

[backseatsiren]

My First Shift in the New Normal of the Pandemic

Last night, I did a full shift on my ambulance for the first time since the pandemic was in full effect. The last time I went out was early March, when things had just started to get pretty scary - I had a patient then with a bad cough - and we were relieved when we got to the ER and we confirmed she had no fever. We had no special PPE, but also, life was still borderline “normal.” People were still going to restaurants and gyms. I was still training grappling with my teammates. 

Things obviously changed pretty rapidly.

For the last month, I’d been terrified, but also itching to get out there. It’s probably dominated a few therapy sessions (therapy is great, friends, I highly recommend it): my own terror of this virus, and the stories we’re hearing of people - even, occasionally, young and healthy folks - dying. Drowning. It’s an ugly, ugly death, and I was scared. I’m still scared, honestly, but my need to get the fuck back out there was quite a bit stronger.

You see, I do this for selfish as well as selfless reasons. I genuinely want to help people and serve in my community. I want that, and I love that. It means the world to me to have the opportunity to give back a little. But it’s also a vital need that I have personally - I need to work with my hands and do tangible things. 

I love my job. I’m the luckiest chick in the universe as far as I’m concerned - and hell, I just got promoted. I’m an Editor in Chief now, doing what I love!

But I do feel a disconnect on some level, in my very online job. Again, this is not a complaint - I love what I do and actually really love working from home, being here with my pets. I like making my own schedule, especially because, in normal life, I get to train in the evenings.

But I am such a little... woman of action, I guess. I love grappling and competing and getting my hands dirty, getting my body fully and completely activated and immersed in activity. I simply do not feel right, or feel like myself, without... action. Some Adrenalin. I’m not an adrenalin junkie, per se (idk, I’ve never jumped out of a plane or anything like that?), but it’s an important part of my life. It might make me a slight jock or meathead, and I don’t care. I love it and I need it.

Speaking of Need...

Frankly, the EMTs around me, in my city, in my community, have been utterly swamped in this crisis. Have been working their asses off. NYC had over 7,000 911 calls in a single day this month (the usual busy day is in the 5K range I believe). And here I am, sitting on my ass, doing my nice comfortable job. I felt like a massive, massive asshole and basically... a fraud.

I’m not a fucking EMT cosplayer. I don’t put on a uniform to take selfies, I want to go out there and help.

For a bit, it was hard to get a crew together. At first, we didn’t have enough PPE, so we didn’t send crews out. Then we got equipment, but it was hard to pin sown scheduling. This is understandable - we’re an all-volunteer organization, some ppl are underwater in all this, others have medical conditions that would mean exposure could very possibly kill them or put them in extreme risk. Tons of folks were helping in crucial ways - doing training or coordinating, seeking donations of PPE, etc. And some folks were able to go out on a special 911 service. I’m incredibly proud to be a part of this organization, where people are valued for many different types of service.

I, myself, had spent the last couple of weekends doing driver training with a really rad volunteer who couldn’t go out, but she still wanted to do her part to help. Hey, I drove on the Jackie Robinson in an ambulance for the first time last weekend! It was exciting! But eventually things aligned and I had a crew for Tuesday night. I practiced with my N95 mask and reviewed all our new PPE rules. We had a little demo of the new equipment before going out. And here’s the best part: last night, I got to guide my two other crew members through their first-ever 911 call.

That’s right, I had two (excellent), brand new crew members. That means I had to run all aspects of the call, and give instructions in a pretty wild situation. I’m thrilled and proud to say it went really well.

We turned up to a “fever, cough, difficulty breathing” - almost certainly COVID - for an elderly patient. The family were outside, and I told them we’d be right up, we just needed to suit up. So, on went our special tyvek suits, respirators, face shields and gloves. We went up, accompanied by the FDNY crew chief, who stayed outside the room, and had a very sleepy, confused, and sick patient. I let FDNY know we could take this one - and he was super thankful about it (he even said “God bless,” and i know some people don’t like that, but I think it’s very sincere and kind). We got info and prepped our patient. Based on everything going on (which I won’t go into detail on), I made the decision she should be seen by a doctor (one thing I will say - she found a family member dead, from COVID, in her house a few days before. So this family had already been through hell). She was an incredibly sweet person, and I made sure to keep telling her she was doing a really good job as we got her ready and down to the bus. She was a little scared as we carried her down the stairs, but very, very sweet and compliant as we took care of her. I may have sweated my body weight in that suit. But I will say that in a hazmat suit and shield, I felt safe and confident enough to do my job properly. That, honestly, was a godsend, and something I was pretty scared about before going out. This is a hands-on job. We lift and carry our patients, we have to touch people to care for them. This patient went to the bathroom in front of me and was confused and sleepy and feverish, and it was necessary to keep waking her (gently), and reassure her. We got her to the ER and spent a solid twenty minutes on very careful doffing (taking off the gear) and sanitation. I was deliberately slow and careful with this, since doffing is actually the part that supposedly poses the biggest exposure risk if done improperly. We bleached the crap out of our suits and shields and all surfaces, then used our UV light at base to kill everything else on the truck. I did my paperwork. It was a slow night after that. And yeah, we took our time on that call, ensuring everything was done properly and deliberately. One thing I’m really proud of on the call is my patient communication. My driver told me a couple of times that I had really good bedside manner - and I’ve heard that before. I care very deeply for my patients (yes, even the ones that could be considered annoying or troublesome, though this circumstance was far from that). It’s partially because, as a volunteer, I have plenty of time to work and give reassurance and comfort. I’m not on the clock, and I’m not an overworked, underpaid EMT (this job is brutal, EMTs should be paid frankly double what they are).

A medical emergency is terrifying for people - it’s a bad day when they call us. I like to build rapport and trust with my patients (obviously, in a case where we aren’t rushing, and really, even then I do my absolute best to be comforting and reassuring while moving fast). I think we made this person feel cared for, and she and her family seemed very grateful for the extra attention.

On that note, I am proud of myself. And I’m proud that I felt confident directing my brand new crew members. It was a relatively big job for a first call (with new, extensive PPE, lifting and moving our patient downstairs, transport, vitals and assessment in a pretty intense situation), so I feel good about that. My driver and attendant did an amazing job, stayed cool under pressure, and had a great attitude throughout.

Thank you

One thing that was positively wild was the gratitude, not just from the patient’s family, but... the people across the street from our base waving and clapping for us. The people at the grocery store/deli, thanking us and then letting us cut in line (I was so embarrassed and I probably made it worse by thanking them twenty times). People treated me differently in that uniform where... in the past, it’s more like “oh, an EMT” - and I have complex feelings on that.  I don’t want to steal a single ounce of valor here - I’m not out in the shit every day, I do this a few times a month because I love it. Does it feel super, super fucking nice to be thanked for volunteer service? It sure does! But I also don’t want to take away from folks who live in this shit - so I just want to be clear on that. 

I love that I get to do this, and yes, I love being thanked when I do a good job. I’ll admit that right now. But I also want to be aboveboard about it, and not take attention away from folks who are in this constantly. 

Wrapping up, and dealing with fear

I had a few decontamination procedures to do at home once I got back too. Uniform off at the door, into a tied-off bag. Shower right away, lukewarm water before hot water to avoid opening my pores too much at first. Wiping down a few items, even if I didn’t use them in service, just because they were on the bus. Simple stuff.

But I felt great, mainly that I was able to get out there and help, that I was able to manage the situation well with two rookies, and able to feel confident in the PPE and decontamination procedures.

Is it entirely possible that I was still exposed, despite doing everything? Yes, absolutely. I could get sick. I could get sick just from grabbing that snack from the grocery store (of course, I sanitized my hands twice before eating, but still!) But I tried to go into this with my eyes open, both extremely careful with PPE and fully knowing the risks. And knowing how I’d feel if I didn’t go out, given that I’ve been an EMT in this city for close to four years. Knowing that my skills and experience were valuable and needed at this time. That I can actually help, even if it’s just a little. I’d like to go out again soon. I’m actually volunteering with citymeals this week as well, so hopefully I can be a bit helpful there too. Carefully, of course, so as not to risk any exposure either way! (Gloves and masks and six foot rule in place for safety). But I feel proud, I feel good, and fuck, I just feel more like myself. And I can’t wait to go out again soon.

[tagathaofwoodsbeyond]

[Prompt] I could.. Give you a massage? If you want?

Modern au bbys

Idk if this is common but at my high school we had this class called sports medicine. Basically you'd learn about being a doctor and specifically, dealing with sports injuries. And during games, they would patch up any injuries (or keep them okayish till professionals arrived).

Tedros is The Football Boy Of 2018™

Aggie signed up for forensic science and got put in sports medicine, where she has to go to every. Single. Game.

------

Aggie pulled her legs up towards her in her chair, freezing as she heard the cheap plastic squeak, before continuing. She had been to countless football games and they still made no sense to her. She'd started recognizing faces, but none of the rules.

Hort sat next to her, listening to Ravan's sixth attempt to try and explain the game over the last two months. She was pretty sure he had understood half way through the second explanation, but neither of them were good at flirting, so this was all they had.

Chaddick, the big burly guy with the weird eyebrows, was chasing one of the other team guys, who maybe had the ball? She usually figured it out with context clues, with how massive a lot of these guys were. Tedros was four inches taller than her and she was one of the tallest girls in their tiny school.

There was some tackling, and now they were lining up again, but closer to where they had tackled other-team guy. Wack.

Tristan, the little redheaded guy who changed in the bathroom instead of the locker room cause of Aric, was the one that threw tje ball, like most times. He threw it to Tedros, and Tedros ran, and ran, and he looked like he was going to get to the goal area. There were guys behind him but he seemed like he was gonna make it-

Shit.

She unwound her legs from her Modern Gargoyle™ position as Ravan and Hort ran to the field. The guys had tackled him, and everything was okay, till someone realize how fucked up his leg had twisted. Ravan lifted his weight and Hort tried to help drag him, mostly just making sure his messed up leg didn't touch the ground.

They got him onto the yellow carrier they used, the one Hort would use as a sled down hills when the games were slow, and carted him inside the school while Coach Castor called a hospital.

Hort checked Tedros for signs of a concusion while everyone else... Just sort of stood around. They couldn't exactly wrap it up. Ravan tried to ice it but Tedros had screamed bloody murder, so after Hort had given a 'maybe' to Tedros having a concussion, Hort and Ravan left. Agatha stayed behind, in case anyone needed anything.

Mr. Pollux looked at Agatha for a moment after a heated whisper debate with Coach Castor. "Can you drive?"

Agatha nodded. "The schools probably going to have to pitch in on his medical bills since SOMEONE decided to put Tedros in despite his recent injury. Ambulances are quite expensive, and he can probably wait a little bit."

Tedros tried to object, but he wasn't quite making sense. Either Hort had given him some crazy heavy painkillers or he was just super out of it. Maybe shock? Who freaking knew. Definitely not Agatha.

They ended up loading him into her prius, agathas bag and folded up lawn chair sitting in her front seat as Pollux sat on top of the 'Carrying-Tedros-Board' and held Tedros' injured leg off the seats. He was kind of bleeding, and her mom had helped her clean the inside of her car like a week ago, so broken football boy or not, she was keeping the seats blood free, Pollux's khakis be damned.

-----

After the initial struggle of shoving Tedros back onto the board, now with less arm stength than a corndog between her and Pollux, sitting in the waiting room was somewhat uneventful. Tedros' legal guardian, Mr. Merlin, didn't pick up his phone, so they couldn't leave the hospital, even as Castor spammed Pollux with texts about driving home by himself. Agatha thought about the odd situation of two of her teachers living together to distract from the... Legitimate worry she felt for her classmate.

He had made fun of her in freshman year, but so had Sophie, and she was her best(and only, at the time) friend. Sophomore year they had been in the same chemistry class, and forced to do three different projects together before they began to actually enjoy eachothers company. They never hung out outside of school, but he was pretty funny, once you dug through the layers of secret self loathing projected as arrogance and a need to Please.

Pollux answered questions about Tedros' medical history for the doctors aa best he could after having his medical records forwarded to him by the school. Agatha texted Hort, looked at weird ten second clips on YouTube, and overall just twiddled her thumbs as they waited for any news. Tedros wouldn't die, but it could still be something serious. What if he could never walk? What if they had to cut off his leg? Agatha considered the options as a nurse walked up to the pair and said they were allowed to see him now.

Pollux had to leave, since Castor had coms to pick him up, and Agatha still questioned everything about that situation once she slipped into the room.

Tedros had a giant cast on his leg, and an IV for fluid, but nothing to spectacular. He turned to her and grinned a sort of hazy smile, like he wasn't quite sure who she was, just glad he had company.

"Hey there buddy. How are you feeling?" Agatha spoke slowly, sure that Tedros' mind was covered in a painkiller fog. She patted his wrist and he looked down at it, almost surprised that he still could feel things.

"I'm doing good... Very good. How're you?" Agatha bit back a laugh. Still trying to be polite.

"I'm doing just fine. Did they tell you what happened?" Agatha leaned a little bit, legitimately curious as to what had happened. She couldn't ask the nurse, seeing as she had left the room after letting Agatha in.

Tedros looked up as if he was questioming life's grestest question. "I think I broke my thigh bone. Like, the super big and strong one." Agatha nodded along to what he was saying even as he trailed off, mumbling.

"Well that's good to hear. Is there anything that still hurts?" Tedros considered the question again.

Tedros shook his head no, the same placid smile as before. He closed his eyes and layed down, seemingly drifting off to sleep. Wait, shit, did he have a concussion? She pressed a nurse call button and asked.

She looked through Tedros' sheet. "No, no concussion. He can sleep as long as he'd like." Agatha looked down at Tedros, glad she hadn't woken him before calling the nurse. It felt weird. Something in her heart felt.. Warm.

Wack.

----------

Agatha visited the hospital every day that week to check up on him. She'd tell him what was going on at school, update him on the rumor mill surrounding what had happened, etc. The only reason he was still at the hospital was because of some internal organ damage, nothing to do with the leg, so he was starting to grow a bit restless. He'd ask her how the guys on the team were doing, even how the sports medicine group was doing. She would show him dumb youtube crap on her phone, play songs she knew he wouldn't like but she enjoyed so she forced him to listen, and pull out countless videos of her cat. Without noticing, in a week Agatha and Tedros had gotten surprisingly close.

So after finally exchanging numbers, and two weeks after Tedros was discharged, they decided to meet up outside of school.

They met at the Arby's™ that Beatrix and Nick worked out, and walked to Tedros' house. He didn't live in the mcmansion she expected, but a rather sweet suburban house. Three bedrooms, worn in furniture, pinterests idea of the dream life. But there were little red flags as she went.

Tedros's room, the kitchen, and the bathroom looked like the only rooms anyone actually lived in. The magazines left on the coffee table were coated in dust and about six years old. She couldn't tell which room was his parents and which was the guest room, since both were equally barren, with a moderately nice bed that looked like it hadn't been used in years, a dusty nightstand, and absolutely nothing else. Ominous as f u c k.

They hung out in Tedros' room, messing around on his computer, seeing what trick shots they could make on his walls with a foam basketball, and just generally shooting breeze. Tedros would be able to play again senior year, but for now he was stuck with crutches and a key to the schools secret elevators.

"How much does it still hurt?" Agatha asked. She was kind of curious how much he could've healed in the three weeks since he'd been injured.

"My leg doesn't ever really hurt, it's just annoying to tie a trash bag around everytime i bathe. I still get weird flashes of pain around my chest, but they said it'll be gone by December. My shoulders been killing me though."

Agatha cocked her head. She hadn't remembered anything about his shoulders. "What happened to them?"

Tedros shrugged, then tried to play off the slight wince. "Apparently lying in bed for a week straight messes up your shoulders. I'll probably be fine? It's just not fun right now."

Agatha nodded, and considered. She couldn't really help with intestinal damage, or broken bones, but she knew how to deal with tense muscles. Would it be weird? Would he be uncomfortable? Would SHE be uncomfortable?

Yes to all of the above. But she really didn't do anything in sports medicine besides wrap sprained wrists and ankles, steal icey hots, and give massages to people.

"I could.. Give you a massage?" As soon as she said it she regretted it. She sounded so fucking weird. Abort mission, abort mission.

"Really? I think that would help a lot." Tedros turned kind of awkwardly until his back faced Agatha.

She took a deep breath and got started.

[ladieslovingladiesandfics]

Dor

(noun) An untranslatable Romanian word, dor is described as the emotional pain one feels when they are separated from the person they love.

As requested, we got ourselves my first ever crossover fic!!! B99 x Sense8 where the reader is a Sensate. I have recieved so many wonderful submissions from everyone! I hope you guys enjoy this next fic!

Tag List: @i-dont-know-who-i-am-yet

Warnings: Cursing, idk wtf im writing, angst, ya know....stuff. This is so bad im so sorryy

Your name: submit What is this?

You don’t remember how you got here.

You don’t remember what you’re doing.

But there your hands are, covering a wound spewing blood with Nadia gently coaxing you and her dark hands placed upon yours. “You got this, Y/N, I swear. Stay with me. You’re doing such a great job my friend.” Though she had practiced this so many times over, you could see it from her dark forest floor eyes that she was scared. Terrified even.

Because she could feel your fear.

Not only her, but the rest of your cluster.

“Boo, Y/N, baby boo,” the warm and gentle hands of Apollo gently cups your cheeks, making you look up into his turquoise hues, “Look at me, Y/N, everything is going to be alright. Everyone is here with you. No one is going to let her die while we’re here. Nadia is a trained paramedic after all.”

“The bitch is not going to get away with this either.” The sound of knuckles cracking reaches your ears, and you smile through your worries, imaging six foot tall Gloria just ready to beat the shit out of anyone who dares harm her cluster, or those close to them.

“You’re doing great, Y/N.” Nadia repeats, her finger softly tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I saw someone call 911,” states the ex-Navy Seals member, Laurie, her trained eyes glancing around the area. “I had a brief glimpse of the shooter.” Thank goodness for her.

“Y/N” finally you glance down at the love of your life, the woman you were trying to save.

Rosa Diaz.

Her hand covers yours, smiling softly. “You okay? You’re not hurt are you?”

You shake your head, trying so hard to not let tears fall. Apollo’s digits gingerly wipe away your tears, his hands on your shoulders and massaging your muscles. “I’m fine, Rosa, really.”

“Bullshit.” She coughs out. “You literally had enough strength to pull me out of a car wreckage.” Yeah you had to thank Laurie and Gloria for that. “Not to mention that you probably have a concussion or something.”

Nadia didn’t of course.

You shake your head again, “I’m fine” you state once more. You were terrified at the moment, fearing for Rosa’s life. That is all that you cared about.

The wail of the siren was not too far off, and you know that Nadia was on her way. She was a first responder after all, and she was better at this than you were. “Rosa, Rosa baby,” you whisper to her, kissing her forehead. “My friend is almost here, she’ll help you. Just hang in there,”

The sound of gunfire was heard next, and the ambulance arrives with Nadia practically jumping out of the back to replace your hands with hers. “Y/N, I’m here. I got this.”

You were just about ready to jump in there but soon another one of your cluster members begins to scream heir head off. “I think I see a gunman!” the fashion designer begins to wildly wave their lanky arms around.

Shots ring all around your, screams echo through the sky, Laurie and Gloria glance over to the lone gunman walking down the street, along with the 99th prescient rushing to aid the people.

“Y/N,” Nadia gently takes your hand, attempting to tug you into the vehicle.

“Babe.” Rosa’s voice is weak, full of worry. “Hurry.”

You glance over at Laurie, inhaling deeply. Nadia can see the other dark-haired woman glance between you, Rosa, and herself, filled with concern. “Fuck it.” She compels you to steal Rosa’s knife, and just like that, she takes over.

“Are you two insane?” Nadia snaps, almost wanting to switch with the former soldier just to drag you to your senses. With a huff, she turns to Laurie, “Don’t fucking die.” She states and with that the doors shut, and off they ride.

You close your eyes, feeling Laurie’s scarred hands grip the handle of the blade that soon becomes your own.

“Let’s fucking do this.”

“I have to tell her.”

Nadia’s full lips crease down into a frown, her fingers anxiously toying with her pansexual-flag colored Hijab, “Are you sure, Y/N?” she questions, sterile-smelling chemicals staining her scrubs that made your nose tickle.

“You know there’s no turning back.” Chlorine hits your nose next, and there, out in a large pool you see Gloria’s partner and children swimming freely, happily. You see the wrestler soaking up the sun, drinking a margarita but her green eyes were peering into your soul even from behind her dark shades.

“I mean…Rosa does deserve to know right?”

Pastel crayons and oils, the sound of Beethoven and chirping birds, Apollo’s studio was beautiful as always. His hand held his paintbrush and like the others, they were beyond concerned. “I mean my wife knows about me already.” Laurie’s cool and even tempered voice breaks through next, her white marble kitchen and freshly squeezed orange juice could be smelled next.

“How do we break it to her though?”

Charlie was surrounded by beautiful models, but their red-colored contact eyes were obviously focused on you and the rest of the cluster, despite holding various clothes in their arms. “It’s not easy. Even my boyfriend is still confused about it.”

“I have to tell her.”

Back again you stand in the hospital, Nadia letting out a long sigh and opens the door. “I’m here if you need me. All of us are.”

Slowly you walk into the room, flowers in your hand and there you see your girlfriend, lying on the bed and looking…alright. Maybe. “Hey.” You great with a bright smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” She states, somewhat gruff and bitter. “You said you wanted to talk?”

You nod your head and slowly tell her everything, about you, about your cluster an even ask Nadia to pop in to help explain.

Rosa falls silent, inhaling deeply. “So…you’re like…kinda a superhero?”

You only let out a small laugh, while Nadia covers her mouth to snicker. Suddenly your smile fades, “And that’s why I’m breaking up with you.”

Nadia almost drops her gloves while Rosa’s jaw becomes slack. “W-What?”

“You’re kidding me, Y/N.”

“I have to do this, Rosa.” You state and turn your head, then your body and walk out the door.

[pappydaddy]

Obx anon here lmao I hope you're not sick of me. 😭😂

I definitely agree the whole Kie vs her parents arc was very badly handled bc it made her seem more ungrateful than she probably is. I just really couldn't stand her this season, I mean she wasn't my fav character to begin with she definitely already had those moments in S1. I mean she was 80% annoyed with something this season sooo... 💀

I'm kinda surprised that so many ship her with JJ bc I got the impression from her she's rather their friend than be romantically interested in any of them. Like she mostly acts annoyed around JJ, for example in S2ep10 when they both stayed together in the ship container she literally rolled her eyes at him while saying "now it's only us" , so I'm sorry I can't really get on board with this when 85% of their interactions are like this. Or maybe it's just me because I love JJ so much and I think he deserves better idk please don't come for me. 😭 I can totally see her in a relationship outside the friend group plus it's super weird if she would go through every guy in her circle idk. The entire Pope thing was so unnecessary and I still hate her for playing him like that.

Dude I'm way too invested in this show I basically binged the entire thing in two days bc I refused to watch it until this year. I already knew this would happen based on the things I saw on the Internet and I didn't want to add another fictional white boy to my list of characters I'm hopelessly in love with, but here I am daydreaming about JJ Maybank like I predicted a year ago. 🙃🤦🏻‍♀️💀 (might fuck around and start writing fanfics for him bc I can't help myself)

Definitely a highlight of this season was JJ stealing a fucking ambulance bc ofc he would. Like he's so loyal to his friends my heart can't handle this 😭❤️ He definitely has Steve Harrington energy another white boy who stole my heart 😂🙃 I wish both would get more development as normal characters and are not treated as punching bags (literally) and comic relief characters.

I can't wait for season 3 and how this entire thing ends (I heard there will be only three seasons so correct me if I'm wrong). How the fuck will they escape from the island and when will the Camerons finally face the consequences for their actions? 🙃😬

Of course I'm not sick of you lovely! I love when you guys interact with me like this!

I get what you mean, I feel like the situation between Kie and her parents was handled poorly on both their parts, but I feel like Kie's faults were a bit (teeny) more excusable as she is a teen who thought her best friends had died and then had her parents tell her she couldn't hang out with her friends anymore. But overall, aside from her situation with her parents, Kie did annoy me in both seasons. I really hope in season three, there is more character development for her because she is a good character and has strong morals, but I just feel like she's a bit lost in herself. Which is a big reason I don't like her and JJ together. I just feel like they both have such strong personalities and they would only draw out the worst in each other. I also picked up on the things you pointed out about Kie acting annoyed with JJ and that's another reason I feel like they wouldn't be a good match romantically - more like a brother/sister kinda match would be better I feel. For next season, I would love for Kie to find another person outside of the main circle as well, I feel like that would not only be good for her character development, but it would be interesting for the plot since she is usually the person who doesn't like new people joining the group. And I know I said this before, but it would be great if she was LGBTQ+ because I feel like the writers could incorporate her past behaviours and such into the internalized anger she felt towards herself for being part of the LGBTQ+ because I feel like that is something many people in the community still battle internally about even if they are accepting and I know that a lot of bi people still deal with those feelings (spoken from experience).

My take on the Pope/Kie thing was that Kie knew she didn't like Pope that way. And even if, for a second, she thought she might like him that way, when he stopped her before they had sex expressing how he didn't want to do it if there was a possibility that it would mess up their friendship - she should have respected that and maybe they could have felt the relationship out a bit more before going all in. Especially because it was Pope's first time. I love Kie, I really do, I know it doesn't seem like it from this post, but I feel like the writers aren't doing her character justice. Just like Greys Anatomy destroyed Izzie's character.

Also, don't worry, I binged the entirety of season 2 in one day. Nonstop. I laid in bed for ~10 hours just watching the show because I worked 8 hours the next day and I knew I was gonna be too tired when I got home to watch it and I needed to finish it for my sanity. When I first started watching, I knew JJ was gonna be someone I fell in love with because he is the type I usually fall for, so I tried really hard to fight against it, but I am a white man's whore so I ended up losing. But Pope is my baby, I want to protect him and just save him from everything so it's not just JJ who I am in love with from the show. IF YOU START WRITING FOR JJ PLEASE SEND ME THE FICS I WOULD LOVE TO SUPPORT YOU! I ALSO HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING FICS BECAUSE THEY NEVER COME ACROSS MY DASH SO!

BUT 100%, START WRITING FOR JJ, THERE IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH OBX CONTENT ANYMORE! YOU WOULD BE AWESOME, TRUST ME, YOU HAVE A REALLY GOOD SENSE ABOUT THE CHARACTERS FOR JUST WATCHING THE ENTIRE SERIES IN TWO DAYS! IF YOU NEED ANY HELP REACH OUT!

And JJ def gives off more chaotic Steve vibes. Loyal, a little dumb sometimes, his heart in the right place, crappy parents, etc. It's pretty much a dead match. Even in between last season and this season, JJ had a lot of character development. He seemed more calm this season, he wasn't getting in fights every episodes. But, I agree, both characters def need more character development and to be beat up less.

I haven't heard anything about them being signed on for more seasons yet, so I'm not sure how many seasons there are going to be. But saying as though it's still in the top 10 and lot of people are streaming it, I feel hopeful that Netflix isn't gonna just cancel it like they love to do. I have a feeling that they might sign on for more than three seasons if the actors are willing (hopefully) since it is such a popular show.

I think they will probably pick up next season with a search being conducted, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Pope will figure a way to get them off or lure help to them. Maybe the coast guard will stumble upon them or Pope will do some cool shit to send a distress signal to them. But since this show is really realistic when it comes to the privileges that rich, powerful, white men hold, I have a sneaking suspicion that Rafe and Ward won't face the consequences for their actions, especially not if Rose continues to help them.

But, please, oh please, start writing for JJ and send me your fics, I would love to read them and support you! I started this blog and writing my fics just because I wanted to try my hand at them, but I also didn't want them cluttering up from drive. I just had so many ideas swirling around my head and I needed a place to put them. I have not regretted the decision to start this blog. It's been the best year. I found so many great people who are supportive, I found followers who are supportive and put up with my randomness and my rants about my life and family. If you need any help getting started, never hesitate to reach out. I would be glad to help you even if you just need a hype man.

[insarations]

Random survey, feel free to steal

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? ugh, absolutely

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? single and heartbroken and confused XD

3: What if I told you that you were pretty? i'd say thank you :)

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? sort of

5: Are you interested in anyone right now? not particularly, just going with the flow, getting to know people. you never know..answer could change soon lol

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? ugh,, um. nothing sadly XD work is just taking over

7: Do you want to be single? I am and do i want to be ? um...idk how to answer that. I'm okay being single, I'm used to it and can be content. but also, It'd be nice to have someone to do life with

8: Did you go out or stay in last night? both I guess lol

9: How late did you stay up last night? I'm still up :D and oh shit it's almost 2am I just realized lmao

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? um. like... over a year ago

11: Last three things you had to drink? coffee, water, dr.pepper

12: Have you pretended to like someone? no thatd be dumb

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? no. i say what i mean

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? nope

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? ugh. don't even get me started

16: Think back five months ago, were you single? ya

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? I was at the gym

18: Hold hands with anyone this week? nope

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? absolutely

20: What would you name your future daughter? i've thought of a lot of names i'd like...  sophia, kendra, kendall, melissa, veronica(ronnie for short)..umm ya theres a lot more ive thought about lol

21: Do you miss anyone? yep

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? ew no, not my thing

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? no

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? it depends. like i feel like at work and around my family a good amount of the time, i just have to hide my feelings so i'm used to it. but when I'm with friends or someone i'm comfortable with it just all spills out

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? ohhhhh ya

26: Who did you last see in person? my dad

27: Are you listening to music right now? no, watching tv

28: What is something you currently want right now? cuddles, someone around who gives a shit

29: What is the last thing you said out lot? idr, probably something to my cat lol

30: How is your heart lately? eh, not great

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? not too often... if it's raining or cold sure lol

32: Are you wearing socks? yep

33: What do people call you? sara. as that is my name XD what a dumb question

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? i don't particularly "like" anyone atm

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yes

36: Who did you last share a bed with? my cats :D

37: Did you do something bad today? if you consider stuffing your face with food bad then sure lol

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? i can't even remember. probably my brother at christmas time

39: Do you get stressed out easily? pretty much

40: Will you sing today? possibly

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? too many times

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? no one particularly these days. i don't have too close of friends anymore sadly. sometimes i'll talk to a friend, but nothing too deep. idk hard to explain

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? no

44: What are you listening to right now? a show on tv

45: What is wrong with you right now? eh idk. too many thoughts in my head about things that i can't really change

46: What is on your wrists right now? nothing but my elephant tattoo :)

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? I'm wearing my cat sweater from vans

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? hot chocolate

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? not so much anymore but I used to alot lol

50: Are you a good artist? I wouldn't ever really call myself that but i mean, I enjoy painting and drawing. I'm not the greatest but every now and then i'll pop somethin decent out haha

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? it can be, if it's real and legit and genuine

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? things weren't much different as they are now so no lol

53: Ever been on a golf cart? yep..many times with my grandpa as a kid

54: Do you have trust issues? sort of, but more so i feel like i actually trust people way too easily

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? many times with several different people

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? yep

57: Do you use chap stick? sometimes

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? never

59: Do you have a little sister? no, just two older brothers

60: Have you ever been to New York? upstate, yes

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? I don't know anymore

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? probably my mom lol

63: What were you doing at midnight last night? same thing i am now...watching tv, fucking around on the internet lol

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? not really "regretted" just idk, i can't explain it

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? not really these days. that's depressing lol. that's probably not a true answer but like...most the people that used to make me smile just make me sad lately or otherwise they just aren't around

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? ya

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? nope

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? hmm. it depends. I loveeee having my bed to myself but also I love having someone to cuddle and hold and just be next to through the night

69: Will next Friday be a good one? Well I hope so, I can’t tell the future lol

[amorjihope]

taegi 😍

big spoon/little spoon: taehyung is the big spoon! yoongi denies that he likes being the little spoon tbh 

favorite non-sexual activity: cuddling, taehyung really likes the way that yoongi falls asleep when they cuddle on the couch and yoongi adores the way tae’s scent engulfs him when they cuddle

who uses all the hot water: tae, yoongi doesn’t really mind because he sometimes just forgets to shower

most trivial thing they fight over: music! yoongi doesn’t really like listening to classical music and girl groups all the time like tae does

who does most of the cleaning: tae! yoongi is too tired so taehyung takes it into his own hands to clean up after them

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: yoongi would never ever give up control of the queue, tae would have to take it from yoongi’s dead, cold fingers cause he’ll hold onto it with all his might

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: yoongi! he gets cold much more easily than tae, so if the heat’s not working, he will definitely be the first to notice

who steals the blankets: yoongi! he does get cold much more easily than tae after all

who leaves their stuff around: both of them omg they’re such slobs, but tae does a good job of cleaning so its cool its not like their apartment looks like a pig’s den half the time

who remembers to buy the milk: yoongi~ tae would buy sweets and meat and forget about everything else

who remembers anniversaries: taetae~~~~ its not that yoongi forgets, he just doesn’t see the point to celebrating certain things because he wasn’t raised like that

Who cooks normally? taehyung! yoongi can cook, he just doesn’t want to, and he isn’t as skilled at it like tae is

How often do they fight? like all the time, but its domestic fights like “why’d you leave your come-rag on the bathroom floor?” “i have no idea what you’re talking about” “damn it, tae, i told you not to leave your bodily fluids all over the place” “my bodily fluids will go where they please and you can’t stop them” “fuck you asswipe” “PLEASE DO” “OK GRAB THE FUCKING LUBE” “DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO” “DO YOU WANT TO GET FUCKED OR NOT” “IDK IF I DO” “FINE, I’LL GET THE LUBE” and yeah that’s usually how it goes with them

What do they do when they’re away from each other? yoongi writes down random things he thinks about tae and later uses them as lyrics for a new song. taehyung starts thinking that every cat he passes is his yoon-goon and coos at them

Nicknames for each other? tae, taetae, t, asshole. yoon-goon, yoon, hyungie~, and cumbucket.

Who is more likely to pay for dinner? they fight over that. tae likes to spoil the people he loves, but yoongi hates it when people pay for him so they just end up splitting the bill most of the time

Who steals the covers at night? tae! yoongi is always swaddled in them when they go to sleep, but in the middle of the night, tae will steal the blankets from him

What would they get each other for gifts? tae would either get yoongi a cock ring from amazon or spend over a million won on music equipment. yoongi would write tae a song because he isn’t about the materialistic things

Who kissed who first? yoongi kissed tae~~

Who made the first move? tae asked out yoongi! they were in the line to check out books at the library and tae had noticed yoongi hanging out in the corner of the library for months beforehand so when he was finally face-to-face with him, he jumped at the chance to take out the pretty, pastel kid out to the movies (aka they showed up, sat through half of some stupid romantic comedy that yoongi had groaned at before they slipped into the bathroom and dry humped each other in one of the stalls)

Who remembers things? tae, yoongi often forgets the little things because he’s too absorbed in his own thoughts to really think about them

Who started the relationship? taehyung! yoongi acted like he didn’t care if they dated or not, but he was lowkey thirsty for taehyung even before tae saw him in the library

Who cusses more? yoongi! tae doesn’t usually cuss to be honest

What would they do if the other was hurt? tae would be calm, getting yoongi to control his breathing while he either tended the injury himself or called an ambulance. yoongi would be freaking out in his head, but he’d stay calm for taehyung’s sake and help him in any way he could cause he’s older and he can’t act like he doesn’t have his shit together if tae gets hurt (but listen, yoongi would lose his shit once tae is ok and tae would just call him a big baby over and over again until they end up back in the bedroom with yoongi curled into him in a ball, kissing on tae’s collarbones)

[mischievouspoltergeist]

About me :3

1: Name; Charlie, or Char 2: Age; 21 3: 3 Fears; trains, spiders, the dark 4: 3 things I love; Chocolate, my phone, & my dog 5: 4 turns on; biting, good long kisses, touch my thigh and we’re so done, lingerie 6: 4 turns off: too much talking, blindfolds, the mere suggestion of taking pictures, and men being butthurt when I tell them I’m not enjoying something 7: My best friend: Daniel, my best friend of 10 years :3 8: Sexual orientation: I don’t even know anymore 9: My best first date; Went out for a walk around a beautiful lake. It was a good day. The best dates involve exercise for me tbh 10: How tall am I: V.small. 5′4 11: What do I miss: Going for 14 mile walks. Got no one to go with since my mam stopped! 12: What time were I born: I have absolutely no idea. My parents don’t remember anything like that. 13: Favorite color: Bluuueeeeee 14: Do I have a crush: Yes 15: Favorite quote: (gosh this is hard) I guess one that always sticks out is ‘Love that is not madness is not love’ - did a whole art project around that quote a few years ago 16: Favorite place: A beach about half an hour away from me. I just feel so chill there 17: Favorite food: chocolate. all the chocolate 18: Do I use sarcasm: Every other word is sarcasm, baby 19: What am I listening to right now: The sweet silence of an empty flat with the slight hint of fridge noise. 20: First thing I notice in new person: I have no idea. I don’t think like that, I guess. 21: Shoe size: UK size 8. Annoyingly big 22: Eye color: Hazel/brown/green, they change colour for some weird fucked up genetic reason 23: Hair color: Naturally brunette, currently blonde/ginger 24: Favorite style of clothing: Comfortable 25: Ever done a prank call?: Nope! Don’t have the guts! 27: Meaning behind my URL: Peeves from Harry Potter 28: Favorite movie: Harry Potter - any of them 29: Favorite song: Right now? Halsey - Haunting, or possibly Strange Love. Hard choice 30: Favorite band: Probably always be Linkin Park tbh. Those guys slay me 31: How I feel right now: A little bit sleepy but happy 32: Someone I love: A lot of people. I have a lot of love to give 33: My current relationship status: In an exclusive crush-ship 34: My relationship with my parents: Strained, at best. 35: Favorite holiday: A few years ago, me, my mum and my best friend took a nice quiet trip to Cornwall and it was so chill and de-stressed. 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: None 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: I don’t like piercings much, and I want so many tattoos 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: A friend told me to 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: Oh my god so much. Well, idk if he hates me but frankly if I ever see him again and I have a hot iron to hand... 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: At the minute I do and I never knew it would make me this happy 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: Nope 42: When did I last hold hands?: November 9th 2016 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: Anywhere from 15 minutes to 45. 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: Hell no. I don’t gots no one to show off to. 45: Where am I right now?: At my dining table in my lovely new flat <3 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: Hopefully, my best female friend Charlotte :3 She’s pretty reliable 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: Honestly depends what mood I’m in. I try to keep it reasonable but if I’m stressed or angry, the volume increases 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: Nope! Just moved out my mum’s! 49: Am I excited for anything?: THE YU-GI-OH MOVIE OMG 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: Yah. Best friend 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: 97% of the time. I find I feel better if I smile anyway. Fake it til you make it~ 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: Uhhhhh Sunday :3 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I’d be pretty upset and hurt and confused! 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: Probably! 55: What is something I disliked about today?: I had to drive a car. Why make me do this 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: Maria Mena. I just want to. 57: What do I think about most?: Idk. The crush bae. Naruto. YGO. My crushing mental illness. They all take up my mind evenly. 58: What’s my strangest talent?: I don’t think any of my talents are strange! (but I would say that) 59: Do I have any strange phobias?: Windows is pretty odd. I won’t touch windows if it’s dark outside. I rarely want to touch them during the day. 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Both! 61: What was the last lie I told?: That I’m totally ready to book my driving test on the 20th February! 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Talking on the phone 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: I already answered this to hell the other day I’m lazy. So yes to aliens, unsure about ghosts. 64: Do I believe in magic?: Sadly, no 65: Do I believe in luck?: Strangely, yes 66: What’s the weather like right now?: It’s pissing it down. 67: What was the last book I’ve read?: Loving someone with bipolar disorder 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: No 69: Do I have any nicknames?: Char, Charmander, Lottie 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: I crashed my motorbike and sliced my knee right down to the bone. Took 6 hours of awake surgery and some of it was so bad that it couldn’t be stitched. 71: Do I spend money or save it?: Save when I’m well. Spend when I’m not. 72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue?: Nope 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: Nope 74: Favorite animal?: Snow leopards 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Sleeping! :3 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: Fuck knows 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: Babycakes - 3 of a kind 78: How can you win my heart?: Say ‘Charlie.... will you walk 14 miles of the South West Coast Path with me today?’ or say ‘Charlie... will you tell me about your bipolar disorder and what I can do to help you?’ 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? To steal Spike Milligan’s grave; ‘I told you I was ill’ 80: What is my favorite word?: Probably ‘fuck’ 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I CAN’T NAME JUST 5 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: You all suck. Be nice to other people. 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: Not that I know of! 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Hopefully the power to turn invisible whenever I want 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: I don’t know. I’m pretty shameless honestly. 86: What is my current desktop picture?: Yu--gi-oh Bakura-shipping 87: Had sex?: All the sex 88: Bought condoms?: Yup bcos safe sex is good and because my friends used to go ‘will you buy them for me? I’m too scared!’ 89: Gotten pregnant?: Thankfully, no 90: Failed a class?: Yup. Chemistry A-level. You only get one batch of materials for your exam and if you fuck up with them, you fail the exam automatically. I very cleverly tipped hydrochloric acid all over myself, my coat and my bag, and my seat, and the floor.... and I basically went ‘hm. Maybe Chemistry isn’t for me’ and dropped out. 91: Kissed a boy?: Yes 92: Kissed a girl?: Tes 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: Yes. So overrated 94: Had job?: Yes, several 95: Left the house without my wallet?: Too many times 96: Bullied someone on the internet?: Yes, when I was very young I made some very careless and horrible remarks. Got in trouble. Never did it again. 97: Had sex in public?: When we say public, do you mean were we seen...? 98: Played on a sports team?: Only when made to at school 99: Smoked weed?: Yup 100: Did drugs?: See above 101: Smoked cigarettes?: Not unless they had other elicit substances in 102: Drank alcohol?: A lot 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: Slowly going vegetarian, easier now I live alone. 104: Been overweight?: Yes 105: Been underweight?: No. Too much muscle to allow it. 106: Been to a wedding?: Yes. Two! 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: All the time XD 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: Yup 109: Been outside my home country?: I went to Scotland once :P 110: Gotten my heart broken?: I don’t know about broken. I maybe broke my own heart once or twice I guess 111: Been to a professional sports game?: Yup. I was 6 and I fell asleep 112: Broken a bone?: Yap. Three fingers, a toe, and my wrist a couple times 113: Cut myself?: Way too much 114: Been to prom?: Nope. I skipped out on that 115: Been in airplane?: Nope 116: Fly by helicopter?: Sadly no 117: What concerts have I been to?: None. Too much noise 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: Yep 119: Learned another language?: Partially 120: Wore make up?: Yap 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: Yup, because that’s perfectly legal in the UK 122: Had oral sex?: Yup 123: Dyed my hair?: Loads 124: Voted in a presidential election?: Well, prime minister here, but yes 125: Rode in an ambulance?: 3 times last year alone. 126: Had a surgery?: Several when I was younger, and once last year. 127: Met someone famous?: CHRIS BARRIE FROM RED DWARF 128: Stalked someone on a social network?: So many people 129: Peed outside?: Not in the last 15 years or so 130: Been fishing?: No, thank god 131: Helped with charity?: I volunteer for one now! 132: Been rejected by a crush?: Yep. Lewis Spatcher, when I was 10 years old. Then Rebecca Haynes, 11 years old (then outed me as gay and I had the shit kicked out of me :’) ) 133: Broken a mirror?: Nope 134: What do I want for birthday?: Degus, and all the things I need to keep them