#women dont owe you shit

[littlealienproducts]

Women don’t owe you shit Tee by StayKindCompany

[im-still-watching-anime]

one piece is crazy fr like what do you mean you’re following up Everyone’s Dead™️ with Objectifying Women: The Arc™️

[sudaca-swag]

"women hating men" isnt a group problem, and will at most involve one individual woman not wanting to form a relationship of some sort with him because of a personal reason (like his values and how he treats other ppl or women), but men hating women is something that gets women murdered solely because we are women, and its a social problem based on a patriarchial system what isnt clicking about them not being equiparable?

[sambuchito]

it infuriates that to this day men see being an active father as something they can opt out of if it gets too hard or are not in the right headspace, or it becomes too much bc at the end of the day they can reconnect later in life and just skip the rough years while single mothers specially, get this insane judgement from society. everything it's their fault even if their ex partner is the one doing a shit job bc after all "they chose them and should've known better” meanwhile you should put your life work and career on pause and forget asking for the bare minimum and how dare you get the legal system involved that's so messy and actually you're a heartless cunt cant you see they're trying sooooo hard lol

[toesuckler]

good lord with you people. its all 'people can do whatever they want with their bodies' till someone you find annoying does it.

[ayaahh00]

I will never understand how men have zero regard, respect or an ounce of empathy towards women and they intentionally and consistently cause us so much harm. But somehow they believe they’re entitled to empathy from us and we should always be empathetic to them when they are ones harming themselves and apparently that’s our responsibility. No we don’t care about men the same way men never cared about women. Not a single man is worthy of my empathy or respect. I need men to realize no woman will have any form of empathy or sympathy for the sex that is fighting any progress women achieve, that pay men to talk shit about women. You don’t deserve sympathy or empathy. Women DONT owe men kindness or respect when they have none.

[b1adie]

looking into it i think yingxing would have been fire hunt. he’s hunt for sure considering his main thing was hatred of abominations of abundance anyway but he was trained by huaiyan who is known as ‘the flaming heart’ on the zhuming. people and heliobi hang out together there. flint emperor is there. they use the flint emperor’s flame to forge weapons. the forge is called flamedisk forge. lots of fire stuff. so if he learned there he should be fire element. also makes sense with blade’s trailer showing that he is the single candle still lit despite the rest having gone out. would be cool if he had bluish/teal fire bc heliobi and whatnot.

i was gonna say something about how his skill could be him like heating up his sword as one would to forge it (but not THAT hot obviously) and now im thinking about how with blade’s skill he turns his sword from black to red? he is forging that thing. also crazy that that sword weighs like 300lbs and he launched it through the air like a frisbee and dan heng got impaled with it and hardly even stumbled. how strong are these guys. OOOH or yingxing could have a FLAMETHROWERRR thing. he made awesome shit and everyone loved him ok? i know he’s never going to be playable as old man furnace master yingxing but i am just imagining if he was… hehe. arrogant craftsman. god they need to let me see/hear more of him like that. I WANT TO SEE OTHER WEAPONS HE MADE I WANT TO SEE HIM SMILE AND BE PROUD AND ANNOYING!!!!!! OLD MAN NOW!!!!!!

anyways fire/hunt yingxing. imaginary/hunt would be cute and fire/destruction makes sense too and obviously most characters playable paths dont line up with their actual beliefs but idc he seems very hunt to me. i miss him. you guys remember when he said “be careful, high elder, lest you hurt yourself with it.” that was some crazy shit. show me geriatric bladie again pleeeease. blade companion mission better be 6 hours long and at least 100k words and 2 cinematics. i’ll wait. give me his life story all 800 years of it. well i guess that’d be like

age 0-7: love my family. sure hope the beasts don’t arrive!

age 8-15: beasts ate my planet. went somewhere else they are teaching me shit here

age 16-30: i am the best at the shit i was taught. idc that everyone is rude to me about it cuz they can be rude but they can’t beat meeeee 😋

age 31-70: im still the best and now i’m hanging out with my immortal friends yay :) they’re all going to outlive me but that’s for the best i think. Right guys?

age 71-800: Ow ow ow ouch ow. Where the fuck am i btw & who the fuck am i as well. Oh well guess ill stick a branch in my hair

age 801+: kidnapped by robot and woman but it’s fine. girl keeps asking me to play games with her even though i tell her i’m busy cutting my hand off each and every day. beast upon my shoulder saying ‘Meow’ frequently. unsure of the implications of this. robot here sometimes. i like it. woman tells me to stop foaming at the mouth so i do because i respect women. except ONE OF THEM. (can’t remember which one right now). branch growing from my stomach again. not my problem. i will be taking a week long nap now.

but i want 6 hours and 100k words of it with pictures and voice acting as proof.

[calliesmemes]

IN-CHARACTER QUOTES FROM DISCORD

UNHINGED SENTENCE STARTERS FEATURING THINGS SAID BY MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS WHILE WRITING AS OUR MUSES IN A CRACK-BASED NONCANON GROUP CHAT. This post is dedicated to Em, Liz, Tanny, Nellie, Mel, Ange, and everyone else in the server who recognizes these quotes — you know who you are 😈

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Have you forgotten that you should not steal someone’s property? ”

“   I could slap that smug look off his face right now! ”

“   Your ears are a lie. ”

“   Woah woah that's - that's a bad word. ”

“   I don’t know if it’s allowed and quite frankly I don’t care. Fuck the rules. ”

“   Time for gremlin activities! ”

“   I hate this man. Let's prank him. ”

“   We are all going on strike today I swear ”

“   Looks like I need to invest in a kid leash. ”

“   DONT BE COWARDS!! JOIN THE STRIKE!! ”

“   I support her saying what needs to be said! I am done with the silencing of women!!!! ”

“   I like the dramatics. ”

“   I did not ask for a second opinion. ”

“   You seem to be doing a great job at being a nuisance. ”

“   NO BITING MY EMPLOYEES! ”

“   do you want me to bring you cheese? ”

“   Next move, start chewing on the door frames ”

“   I like crumbs. They are like a little midnight snack in my bed at night. ”

“   if he wants to be a worm, LET HIM BE A WORM ”

“   the rest of you suck my toe ”

“   To be fair I am simply vibing. ”

“   I am going to commit a war crime! ”

“   I am manifesting being happy. ”

“   Am I gonna talk shit WITH you guys? because im down to talk shit about pretty much anyone ”

“   Who says? We shall revolt without question. ”

“   Let's just start burning stuff. ”

“   Did you just call me... small? ”

“   Can I convert you with my kazoo propaganda? ”

“   We were radicalised by The Little Mermaid. ”

“   Penny in the swear jar, now. ”

“   My last words are, bros before hoes. ”

“   The old men are trying to be trendy. ”

“   I can do whatever I want too! ”

“   Can we go one day without an interruption from an American? ”

“   I am so sorry. He enjoys conflict. ”

“   Why is he so tall? ”

“   For legal reasons, kids, that's a joke. ”

“   Would you like to fight the adults? ”

“   You're not meant to bite people, it's frowned upon. ”

“   He’s a fun killer, don't listen to him! ”

“   Ow! Stop kicking me! ”

“   I have quite literally begged you not to kick, hit, or bite today. ”

“   BUT I thought we were buds, pals, amigos, chums, friends. ”

“   Oh shiiiii someone’s in trouble ”

“   How much caffeine have you had in the last hour? ”

“   I'll be honest they wouldn't be so bad if they didn't speak. ”

“   Is this goof meant to be dead or what? ”

“   I am a witch. ”

“   This one reeks of self confidence when he clearly doesn't think before opening his mouth. ”

“  I call bullshit on that rule! ”

“   The point is I have a cane and I’m not afraid to use it. ”

“   If you slap me, I’ll cane you. ”

“   Yippee for women. ”

“   FUCK THE PATRIARCHY ”

“   Sorry for being British. ”

“   Oi who's playing that ominous music? ”

“   I'm strong because I eat carrots. Oh wait or is that to see in the dark.... it's for something. ”

“   I will say sorry when i'm caught, don't you worry. ”

“   AND YOU CALLED ME UP AGAIN JUST TO BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE! ”

“   ... He's done for. Broken beyond repair. Someone play Taylor Swift. ”

“   Please refrain from punching one another. ”

“   He is becoming one with the spider I believe. ”

“   If anybody asks I will say I made you, then you will not get in trouble! ”

“   Can I be a girlboss too? I am not rude to women and I do what i like ”

“   Yippee for patriotism! ”

“   … i could make you guys rat costumes ”

“   Do you think if we started stealing bread we would lose our jobs? ”

“   why do British people ”

“   … you all need therapy. ”

“   Do you ever feel if you breathe the wrong way he will bite you? ”

“   I actively avoid whatever this is. ”

“   CARRY ME. ”

“   What if, and hear me out, they both promise not to do it again? ”

“   I wanna steal all his socks. ”

“   My socks were stolen! ”

“   Hey, watch it now. Only I'm allowed to insult me. ”

“   You couldn’t whisper to save your life. It’s pitiful. ”

“   Both of you are insufferable. ”

“   The law is overrated. ”

“   I’m afraid. Miss, you aren’t my type. ”

“   No. I swear on my life. I am being a gentleman ”

“   I support women’s wrongs. ”

“   ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE!!! ”

“   GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW ”

“   He bites? Are you .. joking? Please say you're joking. ”

“   If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain ifyou're not into yoga if you have half a brain if you like makin' love at midnight in the dunes on the cape then I'm the love that you've looked for write to me and escape 🎶🎶 ”

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Can You Do Ben Drowned,Jeff the Killer and Ticci Toby with Princess Peach!S/O,You Know She had Princess Peach's Personality (I Don't Know If You about Know about Mario or Not, Sorry)

Dont worry about asking for other fictional characters, because even if i dont know who they are i always do some light research and figure out a base!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben Drowned

Ben loooves having more girly partners

I think he just loves women in general tbh 💀

Honestly being around you makes him more well mannered and empathetic

He knows your personality and wants to impress you

He loves to tease you as well, knowing you will get all flustered and bashful

His favorite thing to do is kiss you over and over on your face until it is bright beet red and you are shooing him away and giggling

When it comes to you being more sensitive, he totally gets it because he can get rather sensitive at times too

But then again, you basically have everyone in the manor at your feet, you could never be a bother

He will kiss away your big salty tears and tell you how gorgeous you look when being authentically expressive

Not that romantic obviously because he's a shit gremlin, but you know

"No, baby, baby, don't cry...Hey, come here and let me see that gorgeous face"

"I'm all snotty and salty" you choke out

"Exactly." He says with a kiss to your forehead and a snort at your frustrated groan

What a silly guy

Jeff The Killer

HE LOVES GIRLY GIRLS

Hands down his favorite type of partner

LET HIM SPOIL YOU AND DOTE ON YOU AND TAKE YOU SHOPPING <333

He, like ben, loooves to tease you just to see you get all flustered

You will scold him and laugh while he just goes on and on about how lovely you are, and how lucky he is to have you

This man has literally stood on top of tables and shouted how much he loves you just to see you go red

He will always be hyping you up, whether it be a new hairstyle you're trying or a new style you're rocking, you can guarantee he will be telling you how amazing you look

He's thoroughly obsessed with you, he can't keep his hands off you!

He will always be playing with your hair, or laying on your shoulder

Knowing you can be sensitive, he takes great care to not do anything that might upset you

Him, having some really explosive anger issues, understands that sometimes it just can't be helped though

And so he will sit there, rocking you back and forth while shushing you and telling you that you're too pretty to cry

He has to admit though, he loves how puffy your lips get after crying and he will always take the chance to give you some smooches

Ticci Toby

Honestly, I find that somedays Toby has sort of a princess peach personality too/j

Just kidding, he may be on the sensitive side, but he def is not a helpless little uwu smol boy

Anyways, he will just like to do more small things with affection, because as flustered as you get with big tokens of affection, there is also a super sweet emotion you give with smaller things

And toby likes sweet things, he doesn't like to tease

And so, he will kiss from your fingertips all the way up to your lips, making sure every kiss is given in the most loving way he can muster

By the time he reaches your lips you are giggling and awaiting the kiss

You share a sweet kiss, and you barely have time to pull away before he is chasing your lips for yet another kiss

You smile into the kiss and pull away to fluff up his hair

This is the sweet reaction he loves to get out of you

You are playing with his hair, telling him how sweet he is, and kissing his nose

He could melt right now he feels so happy

And he owes it all to you <33

[kvtnisseverdeen]

I don't follow any ts drama, what happened with lady gaga?

so taylor commented this on lady gaga's tiktok that referenced her song down bad and addressed pregnancy rumors:

now the comment itself is fine, of course women dont owe anyone an explanation regarding their bodies but this is legit just white feminism. so much has been happening regarding women (i.e. abortion rights being taken away, palestinian women suffering, butker's misogynist speech) and she has said nothing. like nothing at all. but came to gaga's defense (which is only because lady gaga mentioned her song lol lets be real)

and she's not super active on social media anymore unless its to promote her new variants or whatever. but there's been such a lack of interaction with fans it's just kinda ridiculous. but girl, use your social media for something good!!! speak up about palestine!!!!! interact with your fans who legit contributed to you being a billionare!!!

her silence on palestine is the worst thing ever and she's just adding salt to that wound with shit like this

[anarcho-smarmyism]

it is uncannily similar to how TERFs will get on my posts spewing hateful, ignorant transphobic rhetoric and then go into wounded victim-posting about how they're being Oppressed For Being Feminist Women when i dont adhere to cool, polite civility to Debate them on it lmao. why the fuck should I care about if I'm """being a good person""" next to a Zionist gleefully talking (on a completely unrelated post no less!) about how they "don't feel guilty" for tens of thousands of helpless civilians being slaughtered? If you're engaging in hate speech on a public platform I am automatically better than you and owe you nothing. Eat shit.

Free Palestine.

[mobiused]

is it too late to ask for said actual nuanced statement about your feelings on the way loona has split up and how you feel about supporting each of the factions as a fan

No :0 Okay well this posted early accidentally come back when I've edited it with the answer you seek; edit here it is

As anybody who follows me and actually listens to what I post knows, yes, I was disappointed with the choice that the 5 members in modhaus made.

The reason is of course Jaden Jeong's involvement in the conditioned that caused the members' suffering. I honestly do not care to "respect" the members' choice when, firstly, they're public figures, which means they're in a position where they open themselves to judgement, having surpassed what it means to be a regular person into an overman; hence, idol (no this isn't lore) (yes it is) and it is parasocial to think we as fans owe them the kind of blind devout respect that is reserved for people you know and are close to. We, of course, need to respect them as people even if they are idols which leads to my next point. Secondly, they're adult women who are capable of making their own choices. It is only patronizing, infantilising and self delusionary to cheer them on for every choice they make void of criticism. If I respect them as a person, that means I care about the decisions they make enough to be able to disagree with them. The only decisions you respect unconditionally are from your God (if you have faith) or someone who has got you fucked up.

of course all of this is only my opinion to be clear ^^;

So to continue, I don't respect their decision to join modhaus. However I do accept their decision and think of them no less as people - that's very important to me for people to be aware of! That may have sounded harsh but I only have strong feelings because I care.

When it comes to modhaus vs ctd, to ME it feels like a faction of people who are willing to ignore a history of mistreatment to blindly follow their idols because that's what idolatry is versus a faction who are distrusting and reluctant to give a second chance to a man (and his company) who have done them wrong. And of course bias vs bias.

Regarding why I don't hold ctd to the same standard as modhaus; one is an established company with another group under their belt and the other is a company that formed because Hyunjin asked really niceys. The "mistakes" that modhaus are making, like having Jaden and doing NFTs and having loss of the members' autonomy to give fans control as a business model (to be frank, I don't care about missing english subtitles or those small things, its whatever) are much more severe to me than CTD fumbling the bag in ways that only affect them financially. Sorry I don't care about them picking venues that are too big for them on a concert, I don't think it's that big a deal.

In this way, I think cloo vs ourii, ctd vs modhaus, is much more than the preference people have for the idols actually in the companies but rather an ideological thing. Can you put the past (that isn't yours to begin with) behind you to stan a group with no guarantee of being completely safe and in control, or are you going to be wary of a company that has done little to demonstrate how it's protecting the girls' best interests. At least that's how it looks to me.

And it's weird how we dont see Chuu & Yves akgaes right? And I think that's because the companies are such unknown elements that it's nowhere near as polarising to support them, like there's no reason not to.

And I do think there is a lot of us vs them going on. (some) People who are artms member stans who have become full-blooded ouriis have made it their mission to find any excuse to bring CTD down - maybe out of a guilty conscience vengeance for the criticism that modhaus has been getting. And the same can definitely be said about cloos who just want more reasons to shit on modhaus even though the problems are inconsequential (see? I'm not wholly biased)

In summary I just think it's sad that it's had to have been this divisive. If the loona members weren't in the position that they were - that no company was willing to accept them bar modhaus, and the members who got out first didn't feel obligated to go to modhaus, since CTD - and other places - weren't an option, things maybe would've turned out differently. Or maybe they wouldn't have, and there will always be fanwars regardless.

[traceofexistence]

the most unhinged thing I read this week was an american (that's how they intro themselves) saying that Faye Peraya Malisorn is straight and will end up marrying a man, and we (her fans) will end up crying, because her coming out was not up to the american standards of clearly labeling herself, her saying "I dated one guy in highschool and after that all women and my comfort is with women, and I dont know the future but right now I exclusively date women" along with her only known to the public relationship was a 5 year long one with another woman when she was a young adult and not famous, was to them an indicator that she left the door open to dating a guy, and we (the fans) shouldn't keep our hopes up that she will end up with a woman, because she only pretends to like women, and says the same bs US celebs say, and therefore she's fake and does it to gain queer fans because she plays in a GL, and when it was pointed out to them that she came out when she was still part of the miss grand and was playing hetero roles on TV and it was not convenient for her to come out, and got shit for coming out while being a beauty queen, they insisted that it was very convenient because she already had queer fans and that we (the fans) are delusional to believe her words, and that she will end up with a woman

after many back and forths, someone literally asked that homophobic idiot "who hurt you"

and they named another GL love team actress who dates a man

so I concluded, like with every other trollish shit thrown at Faye, P'wan, 9stars, blanket the series, and Yoko, all come from jealous parasocial little shits, who think these GL actresses owe them their lives of whatever, and get mad when their own delulu fantasy was not true because the majority of these actors are simply not out queers like Faye.

they trashed blank the series from the beginning, and yet it exploded in popularity because the creators made the right decisions writing wise, hired a gorgeous out and proud sapphic to play the lead role, and on top of that the actual direction and photography of the show was beautiful, and all the scenes felt realistic and not forced like their fav other GLs with their slow motions and blinding lighting.

and their jealousy became so overwhelming, they now attack our actresses (mostly Faye) and our wonderful CEO and 9stars.

it's actually ridiculous because FayeYoko continue to thrive as a loveteam and 9stars has announced that they will do a new work next year

and honestly I feel for Faye because those assholes not only attack her personally, and try to defame her, but also attack her friends and family who are not celebrities (like her salon partners)

everything Faye has shown is genuine kindness, and love and care.

anyway here's her talking to her queer friends about her 5 years long relationship with her first girlfriend

[deus-and-the-machina]

the dunmeshi yuri discourse feels wild to me because it just feels like the wrong series to be doing this with. yes farcille is a juggernaut ship but like. the series is still made up of a mostly male cast and the more important side characters are also male. for a while its just marcille until izutsumi gets added and she's a teenager so no shipping with most characters for her. if we're being honest this is not a series where its a shock or an upset for there to be more m/m.

not to mention that farcille is still the most overall popular dunmeshi ship on ao3 by far, the m/m to f/f ratio seems to me that there are several m/m ships being rotated around where with f/f its mostly farcille with a couple of minor ships. the only other f/f ship ive seen any consistent content for in the fandom is namari/kiki, a little bit of izutsumi/tade, and some canary ladies.

While dunmeshi is a great series that resists a lot of anime tropes about portraying women and body types I feel like we still owe it to ourselves to be honest in that most of the central character are men who, with the exception of senshi, are pretty slim, women included (falin is fat in my HEART-). I dont really say this to critique ryoko kui, but just because I think its best to temper our expectations about what the story actually includes. you cant hang everything on "but look how well farcille is written" when, while I do love them, falin admittedly spends a good chunk of the series as a plot device more then a person. the glimpses of her self we get are really fascinating to me, and I would confidently say she's a character in her own right, but it would be disingenuous to claim she couldn't have used more screen time or depth into how she feels during all this crazy shit that's happened to her.

[hard--headed--woman]

I completely agree lesbians dont owe bi women anything much less sleeping with us or dating us, but that's no usually the issue. the issue is when yall things like "i would never date bi women because they cant really love women" or "they're tainted by dick" or even more crass things. and then when we complain about being treated like that, you jump in to say its not biphobic to date us. yeah the not dating us is not the issue but you cant use that excuse to spread stereotypes about us freely.

I find the way you tell me "that's not usually the issue" really dumb and condescending. Who are you to decide that's not the issue when it's clearly an issue I, and many other lesbians, have noticed ? It IS the issue. There ARE countless on bi women who shit on lesbians and criticize us because some of us won't date or have sex with them. There ARE many bisexual women who hate on lesbians because they think our boundaries are morally wrong. So don't tell me "that's not the issue here" when it clearly is. Don't deny the existence of something I clearly witnessed just because you don't like it. It is the issue. Period.

What you're talking about is just another issue. It doesn't mean the issue I mentionned doesn't exist. I have never seen lesbians say such things but hey, I am not like you so I won't tell you that it's not an issue. I believe you when you say it.

If some lesbians say bad things about bisexual women and insult them or spread stereotypes about them well that's fucked up 🤷🏽‍♀️ but I never denied that and it has nothing to do with the issue I talked about. Many bi women can't handle lesbians not dating them, and not just because lesbians spread hate towards them. They really can't accept that some lesbians rather date other lesbians.

[notsuch]

Wanna write Junkers but dont know Aussie shit?

Writing a Junker for non-Aussies, some shit that will make it hit just right instead of half-assing it by writing arvo and calling it done:

the outback is a conceptual area, not a physical place, you cannot put "outback" into a gps and find it, but you can drive two hours out of your city and hit it. the outback can be a green lush rainforest or the outback can be red sand deserts. the point is, it's further away from where you are now and there is fewer people. A park is not the outback, but you can go "out back" to a park to infer its distance from your house.

the most aussie thing about junker queen, junk rat and roadhog is that shirts are a suggestion, not a requirement. if we dont have to wear full tops, we don't. no, that's not just blizzard going "lets show off half naked ppl", in many towns, especially on the coast, they have to enforce a "no shirt, no shoes? no service." rule, it gets that bad.

we also constantly get skin cancer, all the time. everyone. the australian sun has more uv in it than anywhere else in the world AND I DOUBT THAT GOT BETTER WITH ALL THE FREAKING RADIATION EVERYWHERE NOW. It doesn't matter your heritage, black, white, asian, you live in australia? you're getting skin cancer.

no this still does not mean we put on shirts. you'd think that change it, but no. wrong. fuck shirts. fuck pants too. scratch shoes probably while you're at it. ow my feet are burning on the hot pavement? TOO BAD SUCK IT UP. Shorts and a tank top if you really have to push it, but a bikini top at all times is perfectly acceptable for women.

but put on a fucking hat and sunscreen, you complete buffon, what are you, a tourist, not putting on a HAT? always put on a hat. DYOU WANT TO GET SKIN CANCER, HONESTLY,,,,,, but also we suck at putting on hats, just your parents yelled at you to do it and you tell others to do it and always have a hat on hand.

shirt exceptions: if you're in sydney or melbourne. they like, have actual standards about business dress. they even wear three piece suits and shit. my soul died just thinking about it. but even then,,,,, ehhhhh, if its summer, people get /hand wobbles, vague about shirt requirements. ive watched foreign business people see what sydney calls business dress and go EVERYONE HERE IS INFORMAL so like, its more dressed up than the rest of australia, but still probably more dressed down than half the world lmao.

they're call "sydneysiders" and everywhere else takes any reason to trash talk them at every opportunity. we all hate sydney. people who have never been to sydney hate sydney. sydney hates sydney: north sydney hates west sydney, west sydney hates east sydney and so on. everyone who lives in sydney wishes they didn't. fuck sydney. if you cant think of anything to say that's neutral, you can always just slander sydney and it'll be a fairly positive-neutral conversation. i can garuntee Junkers will be sitting there shoving radiated dirt into their horrendous bullet wounds, missing fingers, barely scraping alive, living in the literal apocalypse, and especially be like MAN AT LEAST IM NOT IN SYDNEY.

we call the brits 'Poms' and americans 'Seppos'. If you are talking to a Sydneysider, you can mutually hate on both of these groups. Poms more so. We hate the English. It's not active, btw, we aren't the yanks out here having national pride about a war or something, no, its a passive, low grade, mocking tone at all times about them. Ireland, Scotland and Wales are ok tho, we like them just fine. Just the Brits.

you are not allowed to openly state something is wrong, if its actually seriously fucked up, you have to understate it. for real my own mother was in a small flight plane that had to make an emergency landing in a farmer's field and the farmer came out and said 'bit of trouble mate?' as literal smoke was spewing out of the engine block and the pilot went 'reckon she'll be right in a bit', and everyone sat around having a beer.

except for the weather, you are always, at all times, allowed to complain about the weather. its too hot. its too cold. why is it so humid, why is it so dry. "hows this weather we're having?" is a normal conversation starter to make small talk and also just kill five minutes in line at [sports venue of the choice]. I can physically hear the two fucking junkers in the line to the Scrapyard Arena being like 'man fuck this weather lately' as if it's not the 432432 day of burning hot dry desert irradiated heat that was exactly the same as the day before, and everyone will be 'no yeah bloody hell aye'

slab of beer is a defined currency once you are outside of cities. this is a 24xbeer cans. you can pay for services in beer.

when passing people, "hey" is only acceptable in busy settings, the rest of the time, we're so fucking talkative. people in cities can say 'hi', but outside its got to be the 'eyyy' 'g'day', 'hey bruz', it's always "hi, how ya going?" then a nod and response of "not bad, you?" if you have the time to answer, otherwise a nod with 'g'day gotta go' and an indication you're in a rush is perfectly acceptable. if there is time for it, this is when you go into complaining about the weather. not engaging in this process is ruder than swearing at each other.

a mad cunt and a sick cunt, are your best friends, or the dude at the party who brought the rum and you all cheer. a shit cunt is the worst person who ruined it for everyone by calling the cops because you shouldnt stick a ice box drink cooler on a lawnmower and ride it while drinking said rum. asshole.

the ice box drink is called an Esky, by the way. Not cooler. Esky.

NORTH IS HOT, ITS WHERE ALL THE CROCODILES N CASSOWARIES N SHIT ARE.

the south is cold and does actually get snow, aka the Snowy Mountains are in the south. Yes, we did name it that.

Tasmania (that one big island at the bottom lmao) is snowy and rainy and makes really good whiskey and is probably actually just fine b/c no one cares about it and is not connected to the mainland at all, they judge all "mainlanders".

THEY'RE NOT CALLED COWBOYS, THEY'RE CALLED STOCKMEN, OR JACKAROOS AND JILLAROOS.

Kangaroos are like asshole deer. You will not break them if you hit them, your car however is *completely* fucked.

WE DO NOT CALL THEM 'FARMS'. They are 'properties' or 'stations'. A 'cattle station' is an acceptable term. A sheep station. If you say 'a property' everyone knows you mean an agricultural piece of land, and that it's specifically many, many, MANY, thousands of kilometers long. If you call them farm, we instantly clock you as american or a rich city person who has a 'hobby farm'.

The person who OWNS many, many, many, many, MANY, thousands of miles of land and don't actually work it themselves, may call themselves Farmers, but the rest of us often clock them as rich fuckers because of that reason.

We are not afraid of spiders, snakes, kangaroos, jellyfish, whatever it is foreigners scream about this week, the way you think we are. We don't like them, (ok some of us do), but they just are, and we all got education lessons young about how to not be an idiot about them.

we are fucking with you, at all times, i'm an aussie and I am fucking with you right now. i can meet another aussie in a bar that i do not know, have never seen in my entire life, and make shit up on the spot to distress someone about some animal that does not exist, and the other australian without a fucking beat will IMMEDIATELY. JOIN IN. Junkrat will be tricking Brigette about the existence of Land Sharks and even if she wants to strangle him to death, Junker Queen will 100% back him on whatever the fuck he's saying.