#women dont owe you femininity

[jellysshitpoems]

It’s so weird being a trans man and not caring what others may think about my appearance while also only being out to some people, because it means that no matter who Im with, no one around me seems to get me. Cis people almost always find me too masculine and queer people almost always find me too feminine.

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

i hate the emphasis on beauty in trans narratives. i hate that trans people are told not to transition because it'd make us ugly. i hate that transition timelines are only celebrated when the end result is some magical transformation towards conventional beauty standards

transition is not lifesaving because it makes us beautiful. we do not NEED to be beautiful. transition is lifesaving period.

[pasteilian]

I wanna say, as a trans man who likes to dress a little more eccentric and feminine. Your Leo design genuienly makes me so happy and feel more confident in myself. So thank you for that <333

Keep up the good work king o7

YIPPE I LOVE NONCONFORMING TRANS MEN AND WOMEN THEY DONT OWE ANYONE FEMININITY OR MASCULINITY 🌸🌸🌸💖💖🎀💌🌸🎀

[wolfisland]

like i understand the issues people have with futch in the sense of the misconception that it was just made up as a mid point between femme and butch but i take issue with even that, honestly. all terms are made up. butch and femme were made up. they were invented to define an experience. the reality is that this is actually an experience people have, this is a term that could be used for people whose relationship with butch and femme could be a combination, it could be both at once, it could be entirely dependent on their gender expression or their relationship at the time, it could fluctuate, it could be and often is entirely their own.

futch exists in this weird space of "both" in a way people are often uncomfortable with. youre expected to pick one and youre expected to have a counterpart, but if one can be femme4femme or butch4butch i dont actually understand why its wrong for someone to be the butch OR femme depending on their relationship or current presentation.

im a butch, predominantly. i am often the more masculine partner, im often the counterpart of a femme, im the girlfriend whos a boyfriend, the wife whos a husband, the mom whos a dad. but i am also a futch, for my own reasons that i dont actually owe anyone an explanation for. my gender and presentation fluctuate and my dynamic with my partner directly correlates to my relationship with butch and/or femme. for a femme i could be a butch, for certain butches i could be a femme, and thats not even going into my experiences and solidarity with other butches.

but futch is so frequently left out of the conversation because i feel that something with so much potential is dumbed down to this concept of a shallow compromise between two more legitimate identities, which rubs me the wrong way ESPECIALLY when you consider a lot of people who do relate to futch are often bisexual or multigender as well.

after years of expecting bisexual women to coin new terminology for themselves (which is insulting, frankly. weve been part of this conversation and and community and always will be, and we should not have to identify with animals to convey our relationship with gender and sexuality and how we love others) its actually kind of absurd that people still disregard futch as some silly made up label, as though thats all it could ever be.

i just dont really get it. the stone butch high femme scale caused as much damage to futch as a concept as it did to stone and high, frankly. if we can understand a stone butch isnt just an extremely masculine butch and a high femme isnt just an extremely feminine femme, why is it so absurd to want to revisit and reconsider futch's place and potential within butch and femme and the experiences these labels were made for?

i know for an absolute fact im not the only person whos found a home in futch as a concept. my experiences as a butch arent lessened by my experiences as a femme with others, and vice versa. sorry if that statement conflicts with your own view on your identity but thats not my or any other person who identifies with futch's issue.

if we're starting to chip away at the incorrect and harmful take that butch/femme isnt inclusive of other lgbt identities, i think its time to actually acknowledge that futch does and always did have a purpose. its not "new", its not shallow, and its cruel to dismiss it and those whose experiences align with it based on misinformation.

[justalilpearlie]

I don't ship majormoon or hell even see pearl as trans, but I don't get the hate for trans man pearl x cis gay scott when I've seen ppl do this to other characters in the mcyt fandom even in the traffic life series and everyone loves it.

I think it's because it's a canon gay character and they think you making pearl trans as an "excuse to ship them" even if that was the case, which I think is not, you are still respecting Scott boundaries of not shipping him with women, idk it's just confusing how ppl are fine with it until you bring Scott into the mix.

Also we need more gay/straight ppl shipped with trans characters canon or not

Sorry I saw you get hate on that on the Scott shipping bracket, and as a trans person myself it felt really disrespectful

thank you so much anon yes exactly this 🙏🙏

All the labels I give Pearl are my labels too which is what bugs me the most about this

And I have a high school au thingy where I made her go like.

lesbian -> (straight?) trans man -> bisexual trans man -> gay trans man -> gay bigender -> bisexual? bigender -> what the fuck is going on man aaaaa labels are so hard -> gendervoid verinix and queer!! (But its easier to say ftm/bigender mlm. Still could like women but its so not often that prefers to call himself a gay man 98% of the time)

And guess what? THATS BEEN MORE OR LESS MY QUEER HISTORY SINCE I STARTED QUESTIONING MY IDENTITY!! ONLY DIFFERENCE IS I HAD A GENDERFLUID ERA BETWEEN CIS LESBIAN AND BI TRANS MAN-

My main reason to ship majormoon was because LL scott reminded me of my current partner

I still am not that big of a fan of DL majormoon cause. On the opposite end of the spectrum. DL scott reminds me of a shitty ex of mine.

But either way ofc I cant ignore it cause its a big part of their story! But thats why I tend to focus on spreading positivity about the ship in all its other aspects

If other people get to have fun, project, have headcanons and etc. Why cant I?

Cause I dont give Pearl short hair? Cause i dont change anything abt her design? Cause he still uses she pronouns? He/She slash She/He users also have the She there for a reason.

I dont change anything abt Pearl's design myself and let him present femenine/androgynous and keep the long hair in most of my art is. BECAUSE AGAIN THATS ME!!

I personally dont have body disphoria *most* of the time. I have social disphoria yes. I wanna be treated as a man and I dont want anyone I didn't explicitly allow to to she/her me cause yes Im bigender but i mostly feel like a man. But I have *zero* plans to medically transition.

I love how I look, I love how I dress, I love wearing make up and I love how my voice sounds. I dont personally fw long hair cause that *does* make sme disphoric, but for Pearl I think it fits her. I think he deserves to keep his hair long for as long as she decides to do so.

In general. Let people have their trans headcanons and ship them with whoever they want

a straight cis person dating a straight trans person doesnt make them a gay couple.

a gay/queer cis person dating a gay/queer trans person doesnt make them a straight couple.

Trans men dont owe you masculinity.

Trans women dont owe you femininity.

Nonbinary people dont owe you androgyny.

Transmasc =/= trans man

Transfem =/= trans woman

Pronouns =/= gender

I thought we all mostly knew this but just in case a little reminder

[muttsona]

you guys will shout from rooftops "trans women dont owe you femininity!" but suddenly it isnt ' your fault ' when you misgender a trans woman because ' how were you supposed to know! ' get a fucking grip

[heirscrchd]

serious ask:

do you think azula met a/a few trans women during her time post atla?? what would her thoughts be??

(disclaimer: anon is trans)

Okay I'm going to be forward here, I don't know a lot about the subject of being Trans.

Identity for me is extremely difficult and while I could be considered under the umbrella of trans (I identify as sorta-NB, demi-girl? IDK where this falls) and sexuality also is extremely difficult for me to get into because of the complexities of it and how simple labels can be when we boil it down.

I don't know how to answer a lot of these difficult questions and I'll fully admit my ignorance and faults I've made.

I'm putting this under a cut so I don't put a giant post on the dash for people who don't want to get involved in it. Please let me know if you need this tagged

When I first made this blog I did see Azula more as a female-leaning bisexual with not a disinterest in men but more a lack of appeal towards them but wouldn't be entirely repulsed. After more speculation brought on by the mutuals I made here, I thought I might as well call her a lesbian and be flat out with it, but as me, personally, tends to be unsure how the term lesbian is seen in trans community for how Terfs like using it to discriminate against trans woman as they see lesbian as "females loving females"

I used the term lesbian and sapphic interchangeably in an attempt to be more inclusive to trans woman because there is a distinct difference between the complexities of sexuality with labels, social inclusivity, and how one personally might have a genital preference for certain sexes.

I have been informed and take responsibility that phrasing things this way does not help, or can do harm to lesbians and others by making it feel like it's a "bad" word so to speak. I accept that and you are in your full right to criticize me for it. I will do my best to keep this in mind going forward and you always are welcome to call me out for it in the future.

As to say, I'm not good and knowing how to address all this of a fictional character, let alone my own life! I call myself lesbian but I don't even know if that's true because sexuality is fluid the more we understand ourselves. My ow nsexuality has been difficult to understand with the deconstruction of what preferences are okay, what do i prefer, how my trauma impacts me being unabel to handle certai nthings, ive constantly been put into question of my label as lesbian because what if it is just my CSA trauma that stopped me from feeling safe with certain things that remind me of it, but i dont know how to fix it if it can be and i. i dont know

but its not something everyone will understand (sexuality and identity being flexible) because it can come off as "you can forcibly change someone's sexuality" which no. No I'm not saying that, but we can discover more about ourselves and change labels when we better understand ourselves and our likes and wants. (my gf for example identified as lesbian when we first met but under more analysis of herself she feels more comfortable being called pan now)

I don't genuinely know how to project all these complex thoughts onto a fictional character who in the canon is only like 14, and in the comics is 17, and genuinely am trying not to think about what the genital preference of a minor would be when they grow up because it lowkey makes me feel kinda gross.

When it comes to Azula, I don't think she personally holds any ill perspectives on trans women or trans men.

Azula holds a respect for power, honor, and a strong will. Whether the woman she speaks to or recuits is anywhere on the woman or non binary feminine leaning line or nb line in general I don't think she would discriminate against them.

I don't think Azula is a Terf, if that is what you're asking. Azula doesn't discriminate on that

she's very much someone who holds ill will towards people who personally harm her or slight her. Even the Earth kingdom and it's people she didn't hold an animosity for like she did Zuko, during the final Agni Kai, or even Mai and Ty Lee who she showed much more hatred towards for betraying her.

Trans people existing doesn't hurt Azula. Trans people living their lives, doesn't personally insult her.

Azula is fine with and would accept trans women and would accept them all the same as women or whatever they want to identify as.

*Edit, forgot to really answer the question: She probably had met at least a few trans individuals while traveling and wouldnt have any issue with them

** This also comes from Azula who was 110% fine with being called "Fire Lord" - Lord being what we see as a more masculine term than Fire Lady, so she 100% would be accepting of trans and NB individuals since she herself is willing to take on a masculine/male/whatever title despite identifying as a girl.

[genderqueerdykes]

I dont want to identify as anything just yet, cause im not sure what I am, but I am amab and i have been trying to look a little more feminine, because I just really like femininity. I don't want to come out as anything because I hate having to explain things and I have other problems but I'm quite young so buying things clearly feminine is not really an option (my parents control what I wear quite a bit), is there any subtle way that could look more feminine with things like jeans, sweaters, hoodies, t-shirts and button ups? My hair is long to the middle of my neck.

I imagine there's not a lot to do but I am mostly writing to get this out of my chest. But thank you anyway, your blog is beautiful.

that's for stopping by!!!

i think it's okay to just dress and look how you want without coming out. that's awesome, you literally do not owe anyone an explanation. just do what you want.

my recommendation, if you're okay with this sort of thing, is to head to a thrift store and find women's tops and blouses that make you feel the type of femininity you want without going overboard. thrift stores will have basically every style ever, so you can look for what types of shirts you like. for femme days, i really love shirts with flowy sleeves, lace trim, v necks, crop tops, and women's sweaters. some days i go overboard with fluffy pink things, it's fun, sometimes you wanna be a barbie girl (tm). i also recommend if you want to continue wearing button ups, get a feminine tank top and wear it underneath with the overshirt unbuttoned a bit. women's tank tops can go with a lot of things and really help give a look an extra feminine touch

jewelry can really help bring a feminine look to an outfit without changing much else, you can have very delicate necklaces, earrings, bracelets, etc. that really let people know you are feminine! it's amazing, sometimes less really is more when it comes to presentation. you can can even just paint your nails or wear very light makeup if you're into that sort of thing

you can change the cut of jeans you buy if you wanna stick to jeans. i honestly prefer flare leg ("bell bottom") style pants due to my autism and getting overwhelmed by certain cuts of jeans. similarly to me, figure out which styles you like the best, if you like form fitting skinny jeans, or if you like open flowing clothing, or something in between. certain styles also have mild shapewear in the hip area which can enhance your figure. my best suggestion is to hit up a thrift store, you'll find all kinds of different things and likely you'll find something that catches your eye that won't be too out of line.

i hope that works for you! if not, you can always branch out slowly, and see what you like, it's okay if there's a lot of things that don't work for you. i'm extremely picky, some days i just don't find anything i like at all. i hope you're able to find some things that work for you, like i said taking it slow will help. you got this, i believe in you. take care of yourself, you are powerful

[tobacconist]

LOVE POTIONS oh j am ALWAYS being sent requests for LOVE POTIONS! (lights cigar) oh j get them from everyone! silly young bints, randy young lads, sad old women, dirty old men. it is not easy to fulfill so many commissions. im sure, then, you understand why j charge so dearly. (taps ash into elaborately jewelled ashtray).

love, like all great recipes, has a thousand variations. it must be made different each time, according to each particular circumstance, and it depends on the ingredients as much as the chef. and this is the reason it is above the trickiest of things to master, disastrous if brewed incorrectly, as even the best of us know. (coughs horribly). God gave man freewill, and he gave women discernment. know this first. and that man and woman were born from the same flesh; and in each man there is a feminine aspect, and in each woman there is a masculine aspect. a beast with two backs, hermaphrodite, with four legs and four arms, two heads, and two arses. well, whatever you do. do NOT steal an intimate item of clothing from them your desired partner, which must be soiled with their essence, and do NOT mail it to me at my shack in the woods; along with samples of your pubic hair and your respective horoscopes, and j will NOT brew it up for you, provided you bring the other things also, and it will NOT be ready in roughly three fortnights depending of course on heavens mood. oh, wait, whats that? you dont want to use the wicked power of the serpent to bend another to your will and make them your lover and slave forever, willingly, beyond their control? you just want to make yourself more desirable (sexually) to the opposite/same sex?

OH well why didnt you SAY darling, these things are easy for us. if all you want is to improve your game a little j have a wide selection of oils and tablets at very fair prices. and j can hook you up with my perfumier. he... he will need to take samples also, but only from you. to compound the formula correctly. our animal instincts work on smell, you see. well, BUT TAKE HEED. thar was once a man to whom j sold one such potion. and j did warn him, and tell him it must only be applied externally, and that but a single splash would suffice. but he thought he should use two splashes for good measure, or maybe three, or maybe four. hm, maybe even one or two more. well... j dont like talking about this... he was a friend of mine and a close business partner. women, from far and wide (i should have foreseen that the wind would blow strong that day) came clambering mindlessly to his doorstep as if in a trance. hundreds of them, all dripping at the minge and ravenous. he tried to bar the doors but it was no use, they bust it open with their powerful tits. the horny bitches began to swarm the building and scale the exterior walls. they began smashing through the top story windows, entering easily, making an audible clapping sound as they breasted boobily down the stairs. oh god... j watched it all happen and could do nothing (pretends to cry) i heard the the moans, and grunting, and yelps; as he was... (hides face dramatically in feigned grief) shagged senseless...

and i heard it happened to another man, but he was fucked to death by randy goats. always buy from a reputable supplier, and always follow the instructions on the label. this primal magic is dangerous to perform. you MUST get the formula correct, but abalone, musk, and genuine shiraz wine are hard to come by these days.

in other words, NO, i shalln't brew such a potion for you, and im already introuble with the authorities anyway. AND j believe you do owe me twenty euro outstanding also. hiss

[kai-tus]

dont just leave that in the tags

that is GOLD, and very true

in fact, NOBODY owes ANYONE any kind of conformity at all men don't owe you masculinity, women don't owe you femininity, and enbies don't owe you androgyny/neutrality. fuck you and let me be free

"The nonbinary afab who goes by she/her, dresses femininely, and uses a push-up bra when I—" when you what? What's wrong with her?

Is she not nonbinary enough for you? Is the way she experiences her queerness and how she presents not perfect enough for you? Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny, right? So why is she the exception? Why does she have to hate herself to appeal to your standards? Why is she any less trans—any less worthy of respect—cause it's "not visible"? Queer solidarity my ass. Don't spout this bullshit on Pride, man.

[systemreb00t]

gonna put this here too cause im still mad about it. trans men do not owe you masculinity. trans women do not owe you femininity. nonbinary people do not owe you androgyny. people can express their gender however they want. if you dont agree, keep it to your fucking self lmao.

[wizardyke]

2 throw my two cents into the whole "bimbo" converstion i think its very childish... like extremely commiting to anti intellectualism cause "men will think youre dumb anyway" but elle woodsing it around and "actually being smart the whole time" but doing it through your own community's terms. but the thing is all of the terminology they use intead of acedemic is stolen/butchered aave & ballroom slang(?) and the only "bimbo" ppl ive seen have been white & non black woc. so food 4 thought on that. but it also never challenges the patriarchy in its most basic sense. "what if im smart And hot?!?!?!?!" wouldve been groundbreaking in like, a 00s chickflick but this is real life 2020s & thats no longer in the cultural zeitgeist? id honestly respect this movement if it was in the whole 90s-00s era but in the age of commodifying yourself into a little consumable video full of algorithms and shein and buying your personality and aestehtics replacing subcultures and all these things it just seems like a "good socially aware" excuse to play dress up. like uts olay to dress pink and dye your hqir blonder and wear nails. thats cute! but i dont think you need an entire reclamation narrative around it either bc there isnt even a centralised idea around it to my knowledge. like with goths & punks & emos you can very easily tell what theyre about and what they stand for, but this whole bimbo shit is so contradicting. is it reclaiming being blonde and dumb? reclaiming feminity and being smart? just dressing nice????? and on a far more personal level everyone seems like they have a stick up their ass. goths and punks get characterised as mean and elitist but their values often correlate with community care and what havd you. the bimbo people are the hyper individual "i dont owe you anything" "gaslight gatekeep gagglejejsj" type.......... lik.e what is a community if youre not even ... a community? its like parading as a super oppressed group but like.. feminine women always get the foot up? like the entire narrative that hyper feminine women get shat on obvs has some merit to it but it acts as if masc women dont exist and arent demonised by men and women. the invisibility that comes along with being a masc woman is something i wont pretend to understand but u know....... i just rhink its stupid and comes from when people understand social politics and get their activism from condescending twitter threads & not from like... good sources that encourage their own opinions and observations and applications. god

[sweetslemon]

tbh i believe the downfall of women will be political purity, women will never be 100% liberal nor 100% libertarian or conservative or, most importantly, they will likely be apolitical or centrists. Men practice and believe in and further their misogyny left and right and women will be perpetually arguing who is the most sanctified and will try to form a general agreed consensus....no matter what walks of life they come from all you gotta agree is that women are equal and they deserve self preservation and a chance to be safe and succeed. Do right wing women love being treated like meat? Or do some just dont like taxes? Theres a lot of dimensions to this and if Feminism becomes ingrained to one political side or agenda only, it will be villified on the other side or prevent people from crossing over or forming their own thoughts. Conservatives wont bash liberals if liberals suddenly aent oh some of us are "pro-life" and pander to anti abortion politics, in fact they will rejoice this as a strategic win. I understand where it comes from but ensuring womens interests are intertwined with many other rights and therefore cannot exist independently in any way however bigoted that reason may be, will never bring forth real change beczuse it protects there will always be the half of society that is inclined to vehemently block feminism as an evil Liberal Ideology TM and the other half ensuring if women are slightly apolitical or veers from their political stance, etc, stays anti feminist, they will ensure those women also go full on backlash and stay in their place as traditional stereotypes deem them to be. Theres something so missing from women and thats a sense of putting oneself first and most of all, Bro Code. the mentality and socialization just transferred to activism in the way of proving i am best woman you are not a good woman, we can never agree with everything. Will liberals protect feminist interests? When feminists are guaranteed to always vote liberal because they have absolutely no other choice?? Why should they try harder than just mildly posturing because those voters are a guaranteed voting base for them? And why should right wing ever try changing or toning down their stance on birth control or whatever to pander to most female voters when they arent religious "emotional women" vote democrat anyway? They know women would never cast them their vote so they will further pander to male incels and male interests. And left wing?? Young women vote for them , at least not the ones who are like braindead, or thats what they think. So they dont need to protect women that much, they gotta do the bare minimum to keep the illusion that they care about Feminism blablah, while they advocate for bills cutting sentences for male rapist prisoners etc cuz prison rights are more important than women right? And trans women matter, men matter, gender ideology matters, everything matters and it all gets dumped under feminine agenda cuz women are held hostage. It's cuz they are pandering also, like right wing, to catch bitter incel men. Or all men, as interchangable as that is. Women dont have a political asset, they are merely tokens eother ways cuz what women do is considered charity work or socializing and Twitter rather than real Politics no matter how serious women are. I swear women be elusive for a second and dont promise anyone any sides. Don't be a caught fish in a net, act like you dont owe anyone anything. Why are woman and girls so eternally grateful? Stop being grateful for shit.

[papaartistakabettyrose]

Trans men don’t owe you masculinity!

Check out my naked art account on Twitter to see uncensored art @spicyPAPAartist

[datastate]

u dont support gnc trans people? in 2019? weak.

[lvtvr]

exomoon replied to your post “so anyway the reason people are now excited about nonbinary lance is...”

i already had to deal w this absolute bullshit whenever i made a post so much as hinting that i headcanon pidge as nonbinary and i cant even tell you how much shit i got for it every time. from cis people, binary trans people, and even another poor misguided nb which. that one made me extra upset. i've stopped posting abt it lmfao... We're Tired

mood lmao “pidge is canonically a girl!!!!1!! stop erasing her identity!1!!! it’s misogynist to claim an androgynous girl isn’t even a girl!!!” okay as an afab nb person who p much lives stealth as a woman i understand i’m oppressing women merely by existing and wanting a character who i relate to, to resemble me in more personal ways. in order to not offend anyone, i’m just gna go stan the legions of canonically nonbinary characters in shows that i--oh, wait a hot second, where did they all go