#women dont owe you femininity

[jellysshitpoems]

It’s so weird being a trans man and not caring what others may think about my appearance while also only being out to some people, because it means that no matter who Im with, no one around me seems to get me. Cis people almost always find me too masculine and queer people almost always find me too feminine.

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

i hate the emphasis on beauty in trans narratives. i hate that trans people are told not to transition because it'd make us ugly. i hate that transition timelines are only celebrated when the end result is some magical transformation towards conventional beauty standards

transition is not lifesaving because it makes us beautiful. we do not NEED to be beautiful. transition is lifesaving period.

[velvetvexations]

Not related to anything recently but i dont have anyone else to share this thought with but. In regards to afab trans women i see a lot of people saying that the existence of afab trans women forces non afab transwomen to call themselves amab trans women. And like. No? Most people will assume a trans woman is amab bc thats. How almost all of them are?

And what happened to the idea that you dont owe anyone your agab.

The problem TRFs have isn't that it "forces them to call themselves" anything because that's nonsensical. This and accusations of trans people AFAB clinging to their AGAB are entirely the result of insecurity. Someone who feels confident in their womanhood does not freak out because someone else discussing their own experiences reminds them that they weren't AFAB themselves.

"use of AMAB should be replaced with TMA because if you say a trans woman was AMAB you're calling her a man"

Is your femininity that fragile, Megan?

[pasteilian]

I wanna say, as a trans man who likes to dress a little more eccentric and feminine. Your Leo design genuienly makes me so happy and feel more confident in myself. So thank you for that <333

Keep up the good work king o7

YIPPE I LOVE NONCONFORMING TRANS MEN AND WOMEN THEY DONT OWE ANYONE FEMININITY OR MASCULINITY 🌸🌸🌸💖💖🎀💌🌸🎀

[justalilpearlie]

I don't ship majormoon or hell even see pearl as trans, but I don't get the hate for trans man pearl x cis gay scott when I've seen ppl do this to other characters in the mcyt fandom even in the traffic life series and everyone loves it.

I think it's because it's a canon gay character and they think you making pearl trans as an "excuse to ship them" even if that was the case, which I think is not, you are still respecting Scott boundaries of not shipping him with women, idk it's just confusing how ppl are fine with it until you bring Scott into the mix.

Also we need more gay/straight ppl shipped with trans characters canon or not

Sorry I saw you get hate on that on the Scott shipping bracket, and as a trans person myself it felt really disrespectful

thank you so much anon yes exactly this 🙏🙏

All the labels I give Pearl are my labels too which is what bugs me the most about this

And I have a high school au thingy where I made her go like.

lesbian -> (straight?) trans man -> bisexual trans man -> gay trans man -> gay bigender -> bisexual? bigender -> what the fuck is going on man aaaaa labels are so hard -> gendervoid verinix and queer!! (But its easier to say ftm/bigender mlm. Still could like women but its so not often that prefers to call himself a gay man 98% of the time)

And guess what? THATS BEEN MORE OR LESS MY QUEER HISTORY SINCE I STARTED QUESTIONING MY IDENTITY!! ONLY DIFFERENCE IS I HAD A GENDERFLUID ERA BETWEEN CIS LESBIAN AND BI TRANS MAN-

My main reason to ship majormoon was because LL scott reminded me of my current partner

I still am not that big of a fan of DL majormoon cause. On the opposite end of the spectrum. DL scott reminds me of a shitty ex of mine.

But either way ofc I cant ignore it cause its a big part of their story! But thats why I tend to focus on spreading positivity about the ship in all its other aspects

If other people get to have fun, project, have headcanons and etc. Why cant I?

Cause I dont give Pearl short hair? Cause i dont change anything abt her design? Cause he still uses she pronouns? He/She slash She/He users also have the She there for a reason.

I dont change anything abt Pearl's design myself and let him present femenine/androgynous and keep the long hair in most of my art is. BECAUSE AGAIN THATS ME!!

I personally dont have body disphoria *most* of the time. I have social disphoria yes. I wanna be treated as a man and I dont want anyone I didn't explicitly allow to to she/her me cause yes Im bigender but i mostly feel like a man. But I have *zero* plans to medically transition.

I love how I look, I love how I dress, I love wearing make up and I love how my voice sounds. I dont personally fw long hair cause that *does* make sme disphoric, but for Pearl I think it fits her. I think he deserves to keep his hair long for as long as she decides to do so.

In general. Let people have their trans headcanons and ship them with whoever they want

a straight cis person dating a straight trans person doesnt make them a gay couple.

a gay/queer cis person dating a gay/queer trans person doesnt make them a straight couple.

Trans men dont owe you masculinity.

Trans women dont owe you femininity.

Nonbinary people dont owe you androgyny.

Transmasc =/= trans man

Transfem =/= trans woman

Pronouns =/= gender

I thought we all mostly knew this but just in case a little reminder

[muttsona]

you guys will shout from rooftops "trans women dont owe you femininity!" but suddenly it isnt ' your fault ' when you misgender a trans woman because ' how were you supposed to know! ' get a fucking grip

[tobacconist]

LOVE POTIONS oh j am ALWAYS being sent requests for LOVE POTIONS! (lights cigar) oh j get them from everyone! silly young bints, randy young lads, sad old women, dirty old men. it is not easy to fulfill so many commissions. im sure, then, you understand why j charge so dearly. (taps ash into elaborately jewelled ashtray).

love, like all great recipes, has a thousand variations. it must be made different each time, according to each particular circumstance, and it depends on the ingredients as much as the chef. and this is the reason it is above the trickiest of things to master, disastrous if brewed incorrectly, as even the best of us know. (coughs horribly). God gave man freewill, and he gave women discernment. know this first. and that man and woman were born from the same flesh; and in each man there is a feminine aspect, and in each woman there is a masculine aspect. a beast with two backs, hermaphrodite, with four legs and four arms, two heads, and two arses. well, whatever you do. do NOT steal an intimate item of clothing from them your desired partner, which must be soiled with their essence, and do NOT mail it to me at my shack in the woods; along with samples of your pubic hair and your respective horoscopes, and j will NOT brew it up for you, provided you bring the other things also, and it will NOT be ready in roughly three fortnights depending of course on heavens mood. oh, wait, whats that? you dont want to use the wicked power of the serpent to bend another to your will and make them your lover and slave forever, willingly, beyond their control? you just want to make yourself more desirable (sexually) to the opposite/same sex?

OH well why didnt you SAY darling, these things are easy for us. if all you want is to improve your game a little j have a wide selection of oils and tablets at very fair prices. and j can hook you up with my perfumier. he... he will need to take samples also, but only from you. to compound the formula correctly. our animal instincts work on smell, you see. well, BUT TAKE HEED. thar was once a man to whom j sold one such potion. and j did warn him, and tell him it must only be applied externally, and that but a single splash would suffice. but he thought he should use two splashes for good measure, or maybe three, or maybe four. hm, maybe even one or two more. well... j dont like talking about this... he was a friend of mine and a close business partner. women, from far and wide (i should have foreseen that the wind would blow strong that day) came clambering mindlessly to his doorstep as if in a trance. hundreds of them, all dripping at the minge and ravenous. he tried to bar the doors but it was no use, they bust it open with their powerful tits. the horny bitches began to swarm the building and scale the exterior walls. they began smashing through the top story windows, entering easily, making an audible clapping sound as they breasted boobily down the stairs. oh god... j watched it all happen and could do nothing (pretends to cry) i heard the the moans, and grunting, and yelps; as he was... (hides face dramatically in feigned grief) shagged senseless...

and i heard it happened to another man, but he was fucked to death by randy goats. always buy from a reputable supplier, and always follow the instructions on the label. this primal magic is dangerous to perform. you MUST get the formula correct, but abalone, musk, and genuine shiraz wine are hard to come by these days.

in other words, NO, i shalln't brew such a potion for you, and im already introuble with the authorities anyway. AND j believe you do owe me twenty euro outstanding also. hiss

[scentedchildnacho]

Dr. Maureen Murdock on the Dark Feminine - c. 1993

Nat Turner.....yea it doesn't make sense to me how can death be rebuilding oneself?.....i wasn't sure how black art wanted him judged but apparently it was upsetting eventually that he executed someone

It can appear like rabbi about abortionists are the most frightening right wing army but no high priests

I don't know anything about the pornographic aspects of shelter.....I think secrets revealed to me about black people in those situations is groups of black children like blade runner and carefully selected characters that come to care for abandoned children or rescuers

Its for the children that's why it's theatre doesn't make sense as a segregation

My ignorance is my salvation

They told me in fort Meyers at the Cuban art show that an outsider maybe set herself up as a house lady with all her slaves and servants...off with her head....the homeless maybe still act out these rituals of being stunt doubles in films and nothing but body fluid hormones for a gender neutral wealth....well after a nat turner killed the outsider off her design for us

Its outside and now there is abortion and pussy like this woman above is talking about

The woman above talks like she was a cutter so maybe she was a very masochistic pornographized person by black felons or she maybe made fun of very abused white people

Nat turner I dont know people who suggest they may use achievements like women who can work to make factory specification plastic cunts apparently is upsetting

Walter left behind a dumpster in San Francisco then sometimes after fed good taken in to donate.....athletics departments for women she would give her joint tissue for the team so hormonal therapy for the win...

He as a criminal wanted so badly to be a nice dad to his kids if registered as a schizophrenic women's hormonal applications say from carefully collected maxi pads maybe could help passify him with new electronic eye textiles

The Irish would use all sorts of things from slaves in building materials hair all sorts of things

The African American who told me I could work asked me about trump so I told him trump is like Mussolini he hates poor people calls all poor people ku Klux klan members and tries to kill poor people of debts to criminals the state owes....there is no way I will stay here through four years of trump I don't care if somewhere foreign cannot take me trump is worse then dying if a poor woman I had to pay those creeps COVID stipends trump pays nothing

Trump doesnt owe anybody anything his ol cronies tell him they want to be free to him and that's all trump cares about he will also batter kill and remove emigration from the poor and there will be no economic growth at all no jobs no hope nothing to get out of this without emigration

Indigenous peoples can work here that's not jobs the poor need emigration so that is the first thing trump will remove from me

Trump tried to forcibly marry me to some old felon in Florida to tell me that's all I had to go home to so sure I will be like Vietnamese hide in the bottom of a boat I don't care trump can go to hell for his actions to the poor

I sometimes think they just re elected him so they could get away with an assassination they didn't get to priorly

Trumps creepy nazish women in legislation they don't make sense they have creepy amounts of gun wealth no it will be a worse starvation and even worse fascists

I am just here to get my wallet back then I'm gone from here hopefully forever I did all I was required to do I traveled and gave it an opportunity and it all wanted to use as much illegal means as it could so it's all just crazy and wants to drive people crazy so just get the fuck away from me

I had to be homeless through Obama or under housed and oppressed but not raped till Trump so if you ask me trump intends to beat my head into the pavement they will elect him to get away with it

The things they already did to migrants trying to cross a border river.....they dont care about anything but mass murder

It was kind of everyone at that path shelter as long as simple case work like my birth certificate wasn't sent to me it all comes into multiple items off gov programs so there have always been people around me with excess motel vouchers that left me for a year in Savannah Georgia without a shower...

The staff at path does it the shelter residents come in to like four gov phones off unprocessed case work then the staff kicks them out and cop harasses them and steals all the stuff

Uhm i think it's more heretical then bad people it's sad the shelter residents do like believe I am a martyr and kept stealing gov programs for desired children....they wanted to give them to children or an LGBT family or something

They wanted to like hide me in the shelter and give all my needs to a battered cause ...trump won't let migrant children finish their home development

That's why I will be leaving the states as soon as I may ssld system he is from Hong Kong and would help migrants in Toronto translate community systems....it's been ten years that none of the promised aid could provide in regular sustained ways any needs for me....so i have to shop for refugee programs that do

It can't behave homeless programs to work as a team towards a goal they don't offer psychotherapy about physical handicaps they can't provide any needs for me and never will

Many have physical handicaps and they don't triage with them......or help them talk about shopping away the triage problem

In the entire time I was homeless I didnt meet anyone that wasnt someone I would only know as a distance like coworker or boss.... I didn't meet any partner at all the whole time I was homeless and they expect me to die someone that's never really enjoyed themselves in relationships to it's full potential I don't know what type of dull witch that is but I suspect that the rape in Florida is all the government system feels I'm owed a tore up rawanda pussy to reconstruct

They told me a shelter would want to lock me up in it and refuse to let me leave....so I guess I will have to go around different places asking if anyone will let me work for tickets to get out of here....I would go but they didn't appear positive or unconcerned about it

[systemreb00t]

gonna put this here too cause im still mad about it. trans men do not owe you masculinity. trans women do not owe you femininity. nonbinary people do not owe you androgyny. people can express their gender however they want. if you dont agree, keep it to your fucking self lmao.

[wizardyke]

2 throw my two cents into the whole "bimbo" converstion i think its very childish... like extremely commiting to anti intellectualism cause "men will think youre dumb anyway" but elle woodsing it around and "actually being smart the whole time" but doing it through your own community's terms. but the thing is all of the terminology they use intead of acedemic is stolen/butchered aave & ballroom slang(?) and the only "bimbo" ppl ive seen have been white & non black woc. so food 4 thought on that. but it also never challenges the patriarchy in its most basic sense. "what if im smart And hot?!?!?!?!" wouldve been groundbreaking in like, a 00s chickflick but this is real life 2020s & thats no longer in the cultural zeitgeist? id honestly respect this movement if it was in the whole 90s-00s era but in the age of commodifying yourself into a little consumable video full of algorithms and shein and buying your personality and aestehtics replacing subcultures and all these things it just seems like a "good socially aware" excuse to play dress up. like uts olay to dress pink and dye your hqir blonder and wear nails. thats cute! but i dont think you need an entire reclamation narrative around it either bc there isnt even a centralised idea around it to my knowledge. like with goths & punks & emos you can very easily tell what theyre about and what they stand for, but this whole bimbo shit is so contradicting. is it reclaiming being blonde and dumb? reclaiming feminity and being smart? just dressing nice????? and on a far more personal level everyone seems like they have a stick up their ass. goths and punks get characterised as mean and elitist but their values often correlate with community care and what havd you. the bimbo people are the hyper individual "i dont owe you anything" "gaslight gatekeep gagglejejsj" type.......... lik.e what is a community if youre not even ... a community? its like parading as a super oppressed group but like.. feminine women always get the foot up? like the entire narrative that hyper feminine women get shat on obvs has some merit to it but it acts as if masc women dont exist and arent demonised by men and women. the invisibility that comes along with being a masc woman is something i wont pretend to understand but u know....... i just rhink its stupid and comes from when people understand social politics and get their activism from condescending twitter threads & not from like... good sources that encourage their own opinions and observations and applications. god

[papaartistakabettyrose]

Trans men don’t owe you masculinity!

Check out my naked art account on Twitter to see uncensored art @spicyPAPAartist

[lvtvr]

exomoon replied to your post “so anyway the reason people are now excited about nonbinary lance is...”

i already had to deal w this absolute bullshit whenever i made a post so much as hinting that i headcanon pidge as nonbinary and i cant even tell you how much shit i got for it every time. from cis people, binary trans people, and even another poor misguided nb which. that one made me extra upset. i've stopped posting abt it lmfao... We're Tired

mood lmao “pidge is canonically a girl!!!!1!! stop erasing her identity!1!!! it’s misogynist to claim an androgynous girl isn’t even a girl!!!” okay as an afab nb person who p much lives stealth as a woman i understand i’m oppressing women merely by existing and wanting a character who i relate to, to resemble me in more personal ways. in order to not offend anyone, i’m just gna go stan the legions of canonically nonbinary characters in shows that i--oh, wait a hot second, where did they all go

[ketsuarting]

I'll answer the origin question further down but first let's establish something that is commonly misunderstood about Alastor: Alastor doesn't hate men, he just partou doesn't trust them, presumably bcs of daddy issues (we dont actually know why, and its also not a defintive fact, more of a trend)

We can assume that he gets stuck in a negative feedback loops with any guy he interacts with, probably also because of some internalized sexism. He basically goes 'shes just being a silly' whenever women do something negative. He doesn't feel threatened by them like he does by men, and he clearly perceive them as people who have emotions you can exploit to save yourself from vulnerability.

With men on the other hand he sees those some emotions as buttons to push to get on their nerve/ make them black out with rage. He doesn't respect mens opinion or emotional state the same way he does womens.

(respect isn't exactly the right word, he doesn't respect ANYONE, he thinks himself superior to every sentient being.)

It gets twisted fast. All others are lesser than him, but women are at least something that provide comfort and pose little risk while men are aggressive, invasive, smelly, dangerous and stupid.

((And this also has VERY little to do with femininity or masculinity. Angeldust who is considered feminine and Charlie who was called 'manish' (ik it's a stretch but bear with me) don't break that rule.))

The logic is riddle with logical leaps and gaps, but Alastor doesn't investigate those further, probably because it makes his head hurt.

To answer your question, its a matter of territory.

There are two possible interpretations of this, depending on wether Alastors deal is made with Lilith or not.

If his deal ISNT with Lilith Alastor spent the past seven years in hiding, presumably waiting for the moment to strike and get the noose around his neck off. Charlie and her venture is his shot. Lucifer being there jeopardizes his entire plan by the virtue of being above Charlie and much les lenient than her.

If his deal IS with Lilith there is a good shot that she's the one that sent Alstor to the hotel, maybe in a 'if you do this your free' kind of way. (Him owing her a favour seems MUCH more likely than her owning his soul). If Lucifer now fixes it instead of Alastor that might mean that he will still be indebted to Lilith.

Lucifer endangers whatever Alastors plan is. He's a risk that Alastor cannot Calculate, and even if he could, it's not something he could even dream to counteract.

can i ask why alastor hates lucifer so much?

i think we all know at this point that alastor hates men. at the very least, he has many female friends - the only male friend we've seen is zestial.

i'm confused because alastor was pissed before lucifer even showed up in ep 5 - we see him scowling before he even got there. and alastor proceeds to fuck with lucifer, acting like a "better" father figure to mess with him. that doesn't surprise me - i'm sure alastor lives for getting on other people's nerves. but also, do you think alastor's jealous of lucifer?

he gets along with women very well. he's a mama's boy, and i'm sure he'd love to be a girl-dad. and in ep 8, it looks like alastor has genuinely bonded with the hotel staff and guests, despite his desire for power that he sings about at the end.

maybe he actually does want to be charlie's father figure, both to fill a void and to blow up her whole mission for redemption in her face.

[h1biplvm]

hey! im not rly sure if ur trans or not but kudos to you for creating more representation! heres some my experiences:

very casual about gender/sexuality, untill having to mention it in conversation with someone. then it feels like a target, it feels like actually realizing youre a trans person, and remembering all the dangerous outcomes that couldve been if one came out to the wrong person

personal advice: dont be afraid to make her "too manly". no woman, especially trans women, owes anyone femininity.

as the character arc, if its involved with the transness, i think you should avoid the "stuck in the wrong body" narrative. instead, try going for "stuck in other peoples perception of me"

i personally dont really have much dysphoria, but theres this experience thats very prominent in the trans community and its "see something invalidating and then be dysphoric for a week or so". in my experience, it feels like a weird ache in the stomach, despite not actually knowing what the problem is.

if the afterlife is gendered add a lot of nervousness and dysphoria

on the topic of dysphoria, theres no topic you cant be dysphoric about. its easy to write about the feeling incorrectly, but a lot of people get dysphoria over seemingly strange things (foot size, hand size, maybe even eye size)

if you as the writer feel that somethings missing, try searching "what hollywood gets wrong about trans people" or smth like that. this isnt specifically about what youre writing this is a general writing tip

Dear transgender folks on tumblr, I need your help!

I am currently in the process of writing a transgender character, and I would really like to hear your thoughts and experiences, or even just what you would hope to see in a transgender character. If you have any warnings of cliche pitfalls to avoid, that would be greatly appreciated! I want to write her as well as I can! (She's a transgender woman).

The story is a dark fantasy taking place in a modern dystopia somewhere after death(I don't know man, it's complicated), so her character is intended to be a little sadder in tone, but I want to portray some of the thoughts or feelings of the trans experience as accurately as I possibly can.

So if anyone can sends tips, stories, thoughts, feelings, I would appreciate it greatly <3

[atley01]

AFAB transmasc & non- binary tips!

these are kinda just things I wish I knew when I first realized I was trans :)

1. you can wear “feminine”  things and still pass!! ive seen trans mascs wear skirts before and still pass as a male/masculine. (/srs) dont be afraid to wear feminine things, I know that for me, in the beginning I thought I had to be 100% masculine “big man much masculine, such boy” in order to pass and in order for my identity to be respected, but that just isnt true!! you wouldnt expect that of a cis guy, dont expect it of yourself :) dont be hard on urself!!!! pls! you can paint your nails, dye ur hair, have long hair, wear makeup, ect, and still pass! 

-also though, note that passing dosent have to be important to you if you truly dont care for it! its more about whether or not you are comfortable and you feel validated, not whether or not some stranger on the street sees you as a boy. Again, you dont have to feel like passing is super important to you if it isnt 

2. THERE ARE T O N S of ways to bind! some of these ways include; trans/KT tape, sports bras, (Gc2B binders are no longer making safe binders! Try buying from Spectrum or fytist! DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT! USE! ACE! BANDAGES!!!) before I could get a binder, I used compression sports bras and it worked like a charm! Keep in mind Im not the biggest chested, but Im not small either. A good thing about compression sports bras is your parents probably wont be suspicious of you if you ask for sports bras, even if it dosent compress all the way I find that it gets rid of tons of dysphoria in comparison to a normal bra. some sports bras may have padding that pushes ur chest up/ makes it look bigger though so you may want to remove the padding. 

3. do not feel like you cant play around with labels/identities! for me, I at first identified as FtM/ a trans guy, and after a while I realized I was non binary but it took a lot of courage for me to actually come out! it isnt a bad thing to play with labels and learn about yourself, if you think its gonna make you more comfortable, then go for it dude :)

4. if you have the money to buy a binder but you dont want your parents to see the package, you can have it shipped to a friends house and pick it up there :) you could also get a full tank binder or even a half tank binder and tell your parents its a “cool & trendy tank top,”

-additionally if you are worried abt ur binder showing and people thinking its a bra, if you get a color like white, black, or gray (or any color that isnt skin tone) it can pass off as an under shirt, and if anyone asks you can just say its a tank top ;) 

5. PRACTICE. BINDER. SAFETY. If you are binding AT ALL, in ANY way shape or form, you want to practice binder safety!! dont sleep in your binder, make sure your measurements are the right measurements, dont work out or do strenuous physical activity in your binder, and DO. NOT. DOUBLE. BIND. also dont bind for more than 8hrs, you can take binder breaks, and also when youre new to binding work urself up to being used to wearing binders :) try stretching before and after you wear your binder! You may be sore in the beginning so heating pads / blankets could help!

6. you dont have to look a certain way to be trans. you dont have to be skinny to be trans, you dont have to be white to be trans, you dont have to be anything to be trans. trans dosent have a specific look to it, and everyones expirence with their gender is unique. you are so incredibly valid <3

-side note: for my non-binary folk, you do not owe anyone androgyny. Dress how you want!!

7. if your parents wont let you get mens boxers, you can get womens boxers! they honestly look the same

8. remember youre so incredibly valid and loved or else I will make u remember because you are so valid dude i see u and ily /p

9. there are ways to get the illusion of a flat chest without binding at all! overalls can make your chest look flat, jean jackets/vests can also do this but additonally they can make your shoulders look more square/ broader. graphic tee’s, and big sweaters could do the trick too. sometimes I roll my sleeves up to give a more masculine look. those like drug rug hoodies are life savers. Oversized is good but one or two sizes up will do.

10. for bottoms, skinny jeans can make you look more masculine, but also mom jeans & boyfriend jeans, can work too if you cant buy mens jeans. sweatpants are not only comfortable, but can make you look more masculine. if you want to wear shorts, try wearing longer shorts, like maybe cargo shorts?? or something of that nature. Cargo pants in general always make me feel super masc. calf lengh socks could help, too. some shoes may make your feet look bigger, or even add on height and make you taller. they make things to put in your shoe to make yourself taller. 

11. if your parents wont let you get a “boy haircut” you can either ask for a layered, shoulder length haircut ( the shag / wolf haircut that has been kinda trendy lately) then style it and stuff it in a beanie, or not if you dont want to, or you can ask for your sides shaved like an undercut. that way they feel like you still have long hair, but you get your short hair with the shaved sides that you can always stuff into a beanie. layered haircuts can be seen as more masculine, so even if your hair isnt super short you can make it look really masculine :) (but also if your parents say no boy hair you can try asking until they say yes or asking for your birthday or something) you can show them photos of fem presenting people with the haircut you want and say that it isnt a “boys haircut,” that its “trendy” especially during the summer time you can have the excuse of “its hot out and this haircut would make me overheat less ” 

if you guys have any tips you can leave them in the comments! ily guys, stay safe and take care!!! (i might add onto this, idk) 

[witchings-ofkoi]

the reason i dont identify as bi anymore is kind of a load but i want it off my chest.

i used the label bi because back in 2020-ish i was still figuring myself out (i know myself way better now than i did then but im still figuring myself out.) but also because the label was kinda pushed on me. it works as an umbrella term but using it just felt so restrictive to my identity because, while sure i like guys, girls and enbies/people inbetween or outside the binary, my attraction is just so much more complicated and way less simple than that.

it was sorta pushed onto me by my then partner after i thought i was a transman and stopped identifying as a lesbian. i told them how i was feeling about my identity and they insisted i was bi, so for a while i went with it.

i went with "biromantic ace" among other labels, what labels i chose were heavily influenced by my partner at the time, because i thought they knew me better or something?

i felt so weird about it though, i really had felt comfortable identifying as trixic/sapphic/lesbian but then realised "no my attraction to guys isnt comp-het i really do like them" so i thought i had to stop using the label cuz at the time i felt comfortable to call myself a guy.

turns out, i like women in a queer way but not the same kind of queer way i like nonbinary people or men, for me my attraction to different genders is seperate to those genders in a gay towards that gender sort of way. i felt comfortable saying i was both a lesbian and a gay man, i still feel comfortable using those terms even though im NONBINARY not a transman like i thought.

my relationship with my gender and orientation are so messy and complicated the best way i can wrap my mind around it was to stop using the bi label and just start using a whole bunch that fit me so much better! gaybian, omni, abro, aroace flux, so on and so forth.

theres nothing wrong with having multiple labels, using masculine, neutral, feminine terms and such that contradict each other. if they work then they damn well work. use what youre comfortable with, not what others want you to conform to.

fuck it, just be you, be your queer self for you, who cares if people dont understand and get confused buy it. you dont owe anyone an explanation on your identity, its yours.

im autistic, i hate feeling restricted and masking, so finding the right labels for me was extremely important. now it actually feels like i can breath a bit easier in my own skin because i can understand myself even the slightest bit better.

if you wanna use bi because its the label youre most comfortable identifying with even if you dont fit everyone's definition of it, use it anyway. if you wanna use pan, poly, omni or literally anything you feel works for you then use it!

trust me when you allow yourself to be comfortable and experiment with labels, you not only find out more about yourself but feel at least slightly better about it too. and that slight bit betterness can go a long way, maybe even opening yourself up to other things.

your comfort matters, it really does. no one can dictate your identity and labels for you, only you can do that.

im proud of myself for getting here

im proud of you too <3

now go drink water this was a long post!