#woman chicken costume

[mudwerks]

pikant tijdschrift 1900 bladzij 448

[suguann]

✎. you aren’t happy about your roommate’s party until you meet the attractive guy down the hall.

tags. fem!reader, future installments will contain smut, age difference, original characters, college student reader, one-night stands, angst, dirty talk, hurt/comfort, size kink, unplanned pregnancy

featuring. simon

It’s your first semester living off-campus, and Finn is boundlessly enthusiastic about all things that involve cheap liquor and crowded spaces, even more so now that she roped you into being her roommate after promising to split the cost of furnishing an apartment that’s probably too expensive for two undergrads working part-time, low-pay jobs.

You don’t like parties, really. 

Movies and the social connotations surrounding parties have always made them seem like some monumental proverbial chip in your college experience; the real thing, once the bright-eyed shine of trying something new wears off, is more or less a bunch of random people packed into a room like sardines who abate their social awkwardness with alcohol and loud music.

So, no, you can’t exactly say that you enjoy the thought of Finn’s friends (and everyone she hardly smiles at) cramping up your already tiny apartment—especially when one of them is Miller from one of your business classes, who gives you the creeps. 

And leave it to Finn to invite him, anyway.

"Now he knows where I live," you grumble into your bowl of cereal—something probably too sweet and (definitely) full of sugar for breakfast.

Finn shrugs, not at all worried for you, as she pours more sticky orange batter into the hot pan on the stove. "The guy has a crush on you. I think it's cute. And he seems harmless."

“Harmless until I end up in a ditch somewhere.”

You don’t have to see her face to know she’s doing that thing with her mouth whenever you say something she thinks is ridiculous. “If you’d agree to split the Netflix bill, you wouldn’t be stuck watching horror movies. Why do you only own horror movies, again?”

"That's easy for you to say.” You roll your eyes, ignoring her question. “You don’t have to sit by him every week.”

(As if that would ever convince her to change her mind.)

"Ow! Shit!"

You look up right before Finn drops a steaming pancake onto her hand and rushes to the sink to run it under cold water. The mutilated pancake lay forgotten with the others that didn't survive her last several attempts.

"Finn, I think this is unnecessary," you tell her after swallowing a mouthful of cereal. "Can't you do something more practical? Like sticking a note to their door?"

Finn looks up from the sink, her wild, red curls bouncing from the movement. "Oh, come on! Don't chicken out now. I've already made fifteen of these things." She points her pink spatula at the tower of not-quite pumpkin-shaped pancakes on the counter. "Plus, who's going to turn down free food? Now, go put on your costume and hand these out."

You shovel another spoonful of cereal into your mouth, scowling. "I'm not wearing the costume you picked out. It's so...inappropriate."

You’re pretty sure Finn picked out your costume from the dicey sex shop down the street rather than an actual Halloween store—the amount of mesh compared to solid fabric only solidifies the theory.

Finn finally turns the water off and gives you a stern look, amused eyes set under a furrowed brow. "I can find the one you own in the children's section at Costco."

You roll your eyes. "I really don’t feel like flashing my tits to the neighbors while offering them breakfast.”

She grins, wide and teasing. "You have nice tits, though.”

"Yeah, I'm sure the old woman down the hall would love to see her neighbor in the equivalent of a thong and nipple coverings at the start of her day." You don’t think you’d ever be able to look her in the eye again.

"Miss Yado is cool,” Finn says, returning to the stove to continue cooking. “She'll probably just tell you to wear a jacket or something."

You pick up your empty bowl and lean over the counter to put it in the sink. "I didn't know you talked to our neighbors."

Finn shrugs, flipping the pancake in the skillet. "She normally walks her dog while I'm heading to class. I stop to talk to her sometimes when I'm not running late." 

“Oh?”

She shoots you a wry grin over her shoulder. "You'd know the neighbors too if you didn't scowl all the time."

In response, the corners of your mouth tip down. "I don’t scowl."

"Now, would you go change? These are getting cold." 

Several minutes later, you come out of your room wearing the same costume you'd worn the past two years. Finn pouts when she sees you forwent the one she had picked out. However, she doesn’t do more than shake her head and shove a handful of food containers full of pancakes into your hands.

“You’ll be fine. Just remember to smile,” she tells you before the front door closes behind you.

You start on your end of the hall, going door to door and handing out the small containers. The whole time, you’re wondering why Finn couldn’t do this herself, considering you’re hardly a people person as is. Thankfully, nobody seemed too annoyed about being bothered on a Saturday morning—only one neighbor shut the door in your face before you could say anything.

But it’s fine. You’re not going to let it ruin your day. Plus, you only have one person left.

There’s a small pit of nerves in your stomach when you knock this time—half expecting another door to the face. What you don’t expect, however, is the tall and imposing guy who answers.

Who also doesn’t appear to be any less annoyed.

Your mouth opens and closes helplessly, all words stuck to the back of your tongue, watching as stray water droplets drip down from his wet hair and travel down the side of his face before dispersing into the dark stubble lining his jaw.

You stare. And stare. Eyes, most likely, bugging unattractively out of your head.

How did Finn never mention the super hot neighbor who lived six doors down the hall?

He gives you a once-over, and part of you suddenly wishes you’d gone with Finn's costume instead. Only because here, at that moment, you’re willing to admit that maybe the one you have on looks like a six-year-old picked it out—especially when this guy, who is way out of your league, scrutinizes it for a second longer, mostly your frilly crew socks. 

"Can I help you?" he asks, his voice low as if he hasn’t been awake for long.

You blink, mild embarrassment rushing through you from the sudden realization that you’ve been standing there and saying absolutely nothing.

"Hi, um, I'm your neighbor from down the hall. My roommate and I are throwing a Halloween party, and we're inviting people in the building." Annoyance slowly melts off his face.

"Thank you,” heavily tattooed arms cross over his broad chest, and he leans against the door frame (and you definitely don’t stare at how his biceps seem to strain against his black t-shirt). “But I think I'm getting a little old for parties."

The corners of your mouth tip up in what’s the beginning of a smile.

"Okay, sure. You're, what, twenty-five?"

It’s a stupid joke, and for a moment, you panic, afraid he’d been unimpressed, but then his lips quirked slightly. "Not quite. Nice costume. Let me guess, fairy?"

"Witch, actually. I’ve always gone with something more original," you babble and bite your lip before you can say something else.

"It’s cute." 

Cute?

You’re unsure if you should feel elated that he thinks so or self-conscious—that he might be making fun of you—so you settle with a mumbled “thanks.”

"So, what's with the container?" he asks, nodding toward your hands.

"Oh, um, my roommate thought she could bribe people with food to come to the party." Truthfully, it’s to prevent potential complaints from the neighbors, but you decide not to mention that part, although you think he knows by the way the corner of his mouth subtly lifts.

You give him the plastic container and watch as he stares into it with a furrowed brow. "It's a... pancake?"

"Er, yeah. My roommate likes to go above and beyond for everything."

"What's it supposed to be?" he asks, glancing up at you.

"Um, a pumpkin..."

You look between him and the container and find Finn had accidentally mixed up her presentable pancakes with the throwaways. And the pumpkin shape is...well, it isn't.

"Ah, I see," he nods, his slowly drying hair falling onto his forehead. "That makes more sense."

You can’t stop the giggle that bubbles to the surface. "You think you can do better?"

"Yes, actually," he grins back, all cocksure, with a flash of white teeth. "Maybe I’ll bring some over some time."

"I won't tell her you said that." However, you can't wait to rib Finn later.

"Right, it probably wouldn't make a very good first impression." Then he sticks out his free hand, "Simon."

You shyly shake it—ignoring the little skip in your chest at how big his hand is compared to yours—and tell him your name, too.

His eyes flicker down to his watch, and he curses under his breath. "Well, it was nice meeting you. But I have to finish getting ready for work."

Only then do you take note of the tactical pants and heavy boots he’s wearing.

When you meet his gaze again, you find amusement there, and you consider, with a new rush of mortification, that it probably seemed like you’d been openly eyeing his crotch. 

You clear your throat, the back of your neck feeling hot, and you pointedly pretend your voice doesn’t hitch when you breathe a soft, tremulous, "Okay, sure.”

"Tell your roommate I said thanks for breakfast."

"Yeah, I'll tell her. Um, I guess I'll see you around." No longer able to make eye contact with him, you turn away and begin walking (though it’s probably closer to running) toward your door.

And you definitely don’t look over your shoulder to see if he’s still standing there.

You spend most of the party hanging out near the front door, quietly hoping Simon might show up—even though it seems unlikely. After all, he did mention that he’s too old for parties, and a small, insecure part of you wonders if it was his polite way of turning you down.

"The guy was running late,” Finn had tried to reassure you. “I'm sure he was thinking about how to beat expressway traffic before the lunch hour rush hit. Not about the crazy lady in a witch costume running away from his door."

That was the initial deciding factor between your witch costume and the one Finn’s been trying to force you into—only so you don’t have to hear another person call you cute just to seem nice.

And leave it to Finn to jump at the opportunity to help you get ready, though she nearly freaked out when you popped into your joint bathroom with an old tube of mascara that you rummaged out of your nightstand.

"Do you know how many germs are probably on that thing?" Finn’s nose scrunched up as she threw it away in the waste bin near the toilet. "Please tell me you haven't used it since you bought it?"

You had rolled your eyes. "Probably not."

Finn sighed, then smiled. "Luckily for you, I own more than a crusty mascara tube." 

You were about to argue, but when Finn told you to sit on the toilet lid with a dangerously sharp liner pen, you’d clenched your jaw instead, unsure what you were more scared of when Finn brought the pen close to your face: that your friend might potentially stab you in the eye or that you’d come out of the bathroom with raccoon eyes.

Thankfully, when Finn finally finished, neither was the case, except the number of looks you’ve been receiving anytime someone stops in the kitchen to get more drinks is something you hadn’t anticipated—especially when one of them happens to be Miller.

You’ve been avoiding him and his overly bare chest from the moment he walked through your front door. It grew more challenging after Finn left your side (the traitor) to talk to a guy you’ve seen her hanging around with on campus a few times. 

And with the apartment feeling smaller than it already is, you’re only option is to blend in with the group hanging around your kitchen island.

You’ll be fine, Finn said.

Right, you think as you adjust the scanty tube top under your mesh shirt, trying to cover more of yourself with what little fabric you have at your disposal, and you wonder if it’s too late to change—

A knock at the door makes you perk up, regardless of how noisy the room is, with eardrum-shattering music and loud college students. You pull it open, expecting to see Simon on the other side, only to be disappointed when it’s one of Finn’s friends and her girlfriend instead.

"Hey, Roma." You realize you probably sound rude and attempt to give them your best smile—which is more or less a grimace.

Roma smooths out her extremely short referee-style dress. "Sorry, we're late! I couldn't remember where you lived. There are way too many blue apartment buildings around here..."

Everything she’s saying goes in one ear and out the other when you spot Simon stepping out of the door to the stairway across the hall. You hold your breath, waiting for him to look up from his phone.

But he keeps walking.

"Uh, yeah," you say distractedly before speeding up the conversation. "Hey, Finn is in the living room, but I'll see you guys inside, okay? I need to do something."

You step around them to catch up to Simon, which you learn isn’t easy in heels. So you call his name, hoping he hears you and smiling when he turns toward you. And you don’t miss how his gaze trails down your body slowly.

It makes something inside you quiver as you nervously play with the short hem of your skirt.

“Hey,” he says, sounding every bit as tired as he looks—his shirt from that morning now wrinkled with bluish hollows under his eyes—though he tries to hide it with what you think is an attempt at a smile.

And your cheeks burn because you feel guilty. 

"Hey," you repeat dumbly. 

Your eyes lower as his smile melts into one of faint amusement at your lack of tact. You fidget, shifting from one foot to the other. Maybe, you think, you should have let him walk into his apartment before you could embarrass yourself further today.  

After a moment, you meet his gaze again. 

"Uh, I just wanted to see if you still wanted to come over…But I imagine you're probably not up for it, so I’ll leave—"

Simon surprises you when he shrugs his shoulders and says, "Sure."

Your mouth gapes, unsure if you heard him correctly. "Wh-what?"

"I just need to shower and change, and then I'll be over. Okay?"

"I... yeah, okay," your nod is shy, trying not to betray eagerness.

A lazy grin stretches across his mouth. "Nice costume, by the way," he disappears into his apartment before he can witness how his words make you flush.

And you walk back to your apartment feeling a little more floaty than when you left.

masterlist

[kr4zy-kat]

Batfam confuses everyone

Came up with this scenario, let me know if you guys like it:

In the Batcave, some JL members are visiting Gotham.

Red Hood isn't actively killing people; is still a crime lord.

Batman and the JL members talking in the cave:

Green Arrow: My sources tell me that the weapon suppliers are connected to a local gang that has Gotham affiliations.

Jason (out of costume) walks in eating a taco: How is Roy these days?

Green Arrow: Who are you?

Tim: A pain in the -

Bruce: Please don't start. What brings you down here?

Jason: I may have lost something last night (says while looking and moving things around)

Damian: Your common sense? Because if that is the case, I'm afraid that is no longer salvageable.

Steph cackles and tosses Jason a red helmet.

Steph: He's probably looking for this.

She smiles evilly.

Steph: good luck getting taken seriously with all that permanent marker.

Continues to laugh maniacally while pointing to Red Hood's helmet, which now has a fairly accurate sharpie painting of a chicken taking a dump across the front of it.

Jason looks at the helmet confused: What happened last night?

Wonder Woman: Why do you have a crime lord's helmet?

Barry: Why is the chicken taking a turd drawn on it?

Green Arrow: Oh no. Dammit Roy

Jason starts cursing under his breath, puts on the helmet, jumps on his bike and speeds off before anyone else can figure out what's going on

Bruce: So, (he sighs while avoiding looking at his team mates in the eyes) my son Jason was bought back to life by the LoA and is now the Red Hood.

Barry spits out his food from surprise: What?!

Tim: At least he agreed to stop killing people now.

Damian: But (says pointedly) mother finally convinced him to make an alliance.

(turns to Tim) She wishes for you to know that her job offer has been rescinded, as she has filled the position with another candidate.

Green Arrow: What does your mother have to do with this?

Damian: She is the buyer for all the weapons being shipped. The Red Hood has agreed to aid the LOA on the modernization of their tactics.

Bruce: How long have you known this?

Damian: Since mother's visit last weekend. But do not worry for Jason father, he does not plan on breaking your no-kill rule.

Tim: He's still training a cult of psychopaths to do it. How's that any better?

Damian: He is following father's rule, therefore he can still read me Shakespeare.

The JL looks to Bruce whom just sighs in defeat

[timetravellibrarian]

Sanji x reader

Some thoughts on Sanji.

Sanji x femreader

_________________________________________

What happens when a simp meets another simp.

Sanji's advances toward women were never really taken seriously or even paid attention to.

He mostly cooked and waited tables at the Baratie, occasionally kicking ass if needed to. One thing he wasn't expecting was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen – you– enter through the doors along with a green-haired man and another gorgeous orange-haired woman.

"Hello ladies, what would you like to order?"When he had smoothly delivered a pickup line to both you and Nami– much to Zoro's annoyance at not getting proper service– he expected the usual his advance ignored.

"Well, I'd order you but you aren't on the menu." You threw back. It wasn't intentional. You weren't that much of a flirt, only used to doing or saying something to challenge or fluster others occasionally.

When the waiter in front of you seemed to have frozen on the spot and then smirked you were left with two words on your mind 'oh shit'.

Fast forward to the same man being in your crew, serving you guys the most delectable meals and kicking ass you were ready to give up on having a peaceful life.

Though he sent all his simpery to Robin and Nami he left you out of the loop. At first you didn't mind but overtime you questioned his actions. Wondering if he didn't try to flirt with you because of the first time you met or maybe he didn't think you were beautiful. Then you looked in the mirror and realised it must have been some other reason cause you knew you were drop dead gorgeous.

You weren't being vain, you knew you were pretty because you were told so by Apis when the crew helped her with Grandpa Ryu. Kids never lie about such matters.

Unbeknownst to you, Sanji didn't treat you the same because he knew that he wouldn't be able to save himself from loving you and confessing.

Your eyes, your voice, the grace in which you would do things. Even when you were being a menace to society. All of those he loved. You'd think he couldn't simp enough till he saw you not look glamorous and just chose to where baggy clothes. Not gonna lie he'd think you were gorgeous in a chicken costume, you never know with this man

As much as he was too shy to approach you he wasn't afraid yelling at Zoro to stop being so close to you.

You were close friends with Zoro. It couldn't be helped if you were the weapons expert, always checking if cannons were clear, swords were sharp and helping with new inventions with Franky.

So instead of noodle dancing around you he did the little things. Checking everything that he cooks didn't have anything you were allergic to. Always making sure you had a little lunch bag whenever everyone left to explore the island. Giving you extra cupcakes or other baked goods of you ever want more.

If you're a picky eater, he'd make sure to make your food according to your taste. Leaving multiple options on the dinner table for your palate.

He also made sure not to be away from your side too long. Wherever you turn you'd find a swirly-browed cook casually wrapping an arm round you to stave off any threats.

When you get sick he'd be calling in Chopper for any problem you would even slightly complain about. He'd be beside you 24/7 like you were dying or something. Which is kinda sweet but he was needed in the kitchen.

Overtime it just became normal for all this to happen. You got used to it. In fact I think y'all would be the kinda couple that just happened but then later confessed your undying love for each other.

To top it off, you were his number one supporter. Everytime you caught a glimpse of him fighting you'd cheer like you saw a celebrity. Some would swear that his behaviour rubbed off on you because you were also cheering and doing a noodle dance whenever he wore a different suit or set of clothes.

"YOU'RE DOING GREAT, SANJI-DARLING!" – 😍

But sometimes there were some downs in the relationship, for example his smoking.

You'd worry over him whenever he pulled out a cigarette one after the other in a day. Which led to you talking to him about it.

"If you don't atleast limit your smoking, you might as well be Black-lung Sanji."

He was a bit flabbergasted with the statement but he got what you meant.

Or if you had terrible coughs in reaction to his smoking he would try to smoke at a distance so he wouldn't and I quote, "Damage your gorgeous lungs"

As we all know Sanji, he didn't like women fighting too much or getting hurt but you immediately shut him down on that one, saying that as much as some of his morals were so gentlemanly and some old fashioned he had to accept that you wanted to fight. You wanted to help Luffy become king of the pirates. You wanted to be able reach your dream. So that needed you to be strong. That needed you to fight.

Since then he just aimed to be able to support you in any event that you needed help but he wouldn't be overbearing.

Would allow only you near the kitchen if you wanted to cook or bake something and you would allow only him near your forge/ workspace if he wanted to be near you.

Unfortunately for him you had connections wherever you went so you found out about his life in Peachy Island and never let him rest about it for a while.

And before anyone says anything about Fishman Island Sanji. Let's just say you were besties with Zoro there. Much to the cook's dismay.

"Stop being around that mosshead, Love."

"Stop losing blood around mermaids, Sweetheart."

Long story short, y'all were a confusing couple around that time. In fact, once he saw you were hanging out with the swordsman he would butt heads with the man. Leading you to pull him away before anything crazy happened.

Most times you told him to sit down and let you cook for the crew, especially if he was injured. He wouldn't allow it on account of Luffy's stomach being a literal black hole but you'd convince him otherwise.

When y'all fought together it was sure to leave the enemy in broken bones, hopes and dreams.

With Sanji kicking them away with his special moves and you pulling out a large cannon from the bag you carry around ( which was comically small but it was your magical inventory), nothing could stop you two. Sometime you'd trade opponents if he found himself fighting a woman.

Sometimes you helped him clean up after meals. Making sure that he didn't get all the work.

Most times he'd sit with you beneath the blanket of stars, his head on you chest/belly and you'd both share secrets about yourselves.

All in all, Sanji would love you to infinity and you'd love him just as much.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain, God 3

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

Being Poultryman was more fun then you thought it would be and that's saying a lot considering you already had high expectations. These last few days have been the most fun you have had in the last 10 billion years! It's just so different to actually be involved directly... People actually thank you for trowing eggs at other people.

And now you went one step further then just trowing eggs at criminala, you managed to fill mayor Ren's house with chickens! Every single room is filled witch chickens. Bathroom? Chickens. Kitchen? Chickens. Weird suspicious basement permeated with metallic scent? You better believe it, that's filled with chickens too.

You honestly can't wait for his reaction...

Thinking about it, it's weird how little surveilance the mayor has in his house... you got in without having to use any divine ability except for those that make up Poultryman's powers. And you would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for him.

"Stop righg there, scoundrel!" It's Hotguy to interrupt if it wasn't clear, you don't see why the hero association would send the number one hero after you but this is going to be fun. Any other god would have just smited him for interrupting but that would just be...so boooring. No, you are going to punish him in a much more... subtle way... ...Mentally.

"Hello there, Averageguy" You can see him process what you said in real time.

"It's Hotguy! Not ...that!"

"So narcisistic, no no no, you really need to chill down or I'll have to demote you to Mediocreguy"

"MEDIOCRE!? You can't just demote me!" Oh, he is fun, he's so sensitive to mockery.

"Too bad, you are Mediocreguy now, told you that you needed to chill down and you didn't listen".

At that he starts chasing you, took him long enough to remember his job is to catch you, of course you aren't going to be catched that easily. You are stil agod after all.

"I'll have you know I'm very chill you pesky bird!" Pesky bird? That's a new one.

"You are neither chill nor hot" You jump in the air and land behind him. "More of Lukewarmguy really".

Well, you could just lose him now but you wanna have a bit more fun before you leave.

"Come back here! You oversized chicken!"

Well now he's going to get egged, he brought it upon himself really- oh? One moment... You perceive a woman reporting for live television nearby... You suddenly have a devious idea and ou lunge towards her general direction.

*The following Clip was taken from Hermitopia Daily*

"-Shareholders predict that the new policy will be a strong step foward towards-"

*Suddenly a chicken themed man jumps in in the middle of the live recording*

"Hello there spectators! Sorry to interrupt!"

"P-poultry man!?"

*The man in the chicken costume turns towards the camera and takes out like ten 100 dollar bills*

"Hey mate, I'll give you these if you let me borrow that camera for a few seconds"

*The camera men speaks in the background*

"Huh...just don't break it? Please?"

"Thanks!"

*There is some shaking as Poultryman takes the camera and points it towards a very angry and tired looking Hotguy.*

"And there folks at home we have Loserguy."

"LOSERGUY!?"

"I know, before meeting you I thought you were cool too! Never meet your heroes they say, that's because they are very underwhelming."

*Hotguy jumps towards the camera, there's some more shaking and then the camera is pointing towards an Hotguy whose face is faceplanted onto the ground and who is groaning onto the floor*

"Well ... first of all, attacking me? That was rude. Second of all, if you are going to jump someone at least don't fall, It's just embarassing."

*Hotguy gets up with another frustrated groan and takes out his bow and arrow*

...

"Well, time to give back the camera to it's owner! Wouldn't want an arrow to break it after all!"

"You! Come back here!"

"Toodles Cringeguy!"

*The feed cuts for a few seconds, once everything is back online Hotguy is looking around like he's searching for something and Poultryman is gone... The reporter seems to snap out of her shock, the clip ends*

*Scar's pov*

You feel like a misbehaving child waiting for punishment, you are sitting in Cub's lab and he's frantically walking back and forth.

"It ... It wasn't that bad?" You don't know why you try to argue, you regret it immediately.

"Not that bad?! Scar- *sigh*"

Ok so maybe it was, but you can't stand the idea of Cub being mad at you... Or even worse: disappointed in you.

"I'll just...catch him next time! Yeah!"

"Not only did you fail you task, not only did you push yourself way too much AGAIN but you made a fool out of yourself on LIVE TELEVISION Scar. Do you even know how much respectability you lost because of this?"

Ok... Maybe It's better if you just don't speak...

"The screenshot of you laying on the ground is now a meme template! I don't even know how that has already happened since It's been two hours at most."

Still, you will catch that Pesky bird, no one calls you Cringeguy.

*Grian's pov*

...

You're the one that started the Hotguy template, you don't regret it one bit.

...

The internet is having a field day with it, Hotguy's pr team is definitely not.

...

This is so much fun already.

[angermango]

"I'm not cooking or anything, this is just a silly idea- (looks down at canvas) ffffuuuu--"

...

so, first I only wanted to draw Professor Layton with a Reiterpallasch from Bloodborne because haha funny hat man with gun-sword, but then i ended up drafting concept art for "Laytonborne", apparently.

"Puzzles all over the shop... You'll be stuck on one of them, sooner or later."

extra artist commentary:

Layton

yes, this really did just start with me wanting to give Layton a Reiterpallasch because he's a canonical fencer and Bloodborne trick weapons absolutely slap. The Reiterpallasch is literally a rapier with a pistol attached that can mechanically switch to prime either the blade first or the gun first so you can stab and shoot someone at the same time.

Giving Hershel the Bloodborne makeover was kind of funny because he wears such a simple look in canon it was hard striking the right balance between his recognisable look and BB aestheic since Bloodborne loves embellishment especially via lots of belts/buckles and those weird shoulder-cape things. I tried to keep it simple enough though because as much as i think he could pull off a hunter ensemble i don't want to have to keep track of all the funky bits. the Top Hat Stays, of course.

Aurora

Aurora is eerily good a fit in a Soulsborne-esque setting considering she fits the criteria for a "Soulsborne maiden" classic archetype sort of character: After all she's a mysterious pale-haired young woman with mystical origins/powers and a foreign-sounding accent and may or may not have some connection to the wider lore and powers that be of the setting. hell even her whole thing being a golem works in a way as even Bloodborne has artificial humans existing as a concept.

i got a little lazy with changing up her dress for both time and lack of inspiration. I thought maybe i'd really do her up but then I chickened out that her costume wouldn't be recognisable any more so just slapped a belt and some patterns on the shawl bit and called it a night :P (if i'd been braver/more motivated she'd probably look good in an approximation of the White Church set, something like that)

and yeah so as the sketches off to the side are like, no real clue how/why it might be triggered but imagine her having the potential to be an optional boss or something (and she'd whoop your ass)

Flora

idk tho Flora also seems like she could be a good contender for the "Soulsborne maiden" position too in a way, or even if not her whole character and story fits into the world quite well. especially with Bloodborne having the Plain Doll who is a sentient doll made in the image of someone her creator loved/was obsessed with and Flora living in a village of human-like robots which started after her father tried to build a replacement for her dead mother.

Her dress is a combination of all her canon costumes across the games. The fur-trim shoulder cape is from one official art of her, the short shawl and white sleeves and bit around her waist is based on her first dress, and the rest of the dress design is based on her second and third game appearance.

The 'Doll Flora' concept there at the end is just some idea of a false/clone Flora running around as well. She's got some little differences including elements of other parts of Flora's designs over the years that aren't on OG Flora, such as the sash and shoes.

Anton

Anton fits in scarily well to the Bloodborne-y setting, perhaps not too surprisingly given the whole 'vampire' thingy. I sort of envision Folsense and Herzen Castle being a bit like the Castle Cainhurst area of Bloodborne which leans more into the classic gothic horror of a remote and looming haunted castle occupied by a sinister enigmatic character.

And yes, that is a reference to the infamous "LAYTOOON" scream from his canon 'boss fight' in the second game - imagine the whole steaming up and screaming thing being like his boss phase transition animation.

The whole 'withers to an old man/husk' concept seems so very Soulsborne-y it really just fits yknow. like if you defeat him he shrivels up/ages to dust or whatever. RIP gassed-up grandpa.

I partly rizzed up his suit using inspiration of the Cainhurst Knight set because like. come on. it's too good to pass up the chance to pretty up with and looks a lot like his canon suit in parts.

Did I trace the foyer background art for Herzen Castle for the mockup just for laffs, only to realise partway that 1) Layton and Anton actually fought in the ballroom, and 2) the ballroom would actually make a much better boss arena setting because it's wide open and the arch from the front room leading into the ballroom could totally be the 'boss fog door' part better than the front room?

...so yeah I then drew the ballroom background without tracing this time like a true madman and had a hell of a time with perspective but the plus side is we also get the sword collection from the game there as a cameo because in Laytonborne the good professor brought his own already.

The Masked Gentleman / Randall

Had a bit of a time deciding how to Bloodborne-ify this guy because his suit in canon is actually really. really boring. it's just a white suit like cmon. so to give it that Bloodborne makeover I fell back on the classic shoulder-cape thing that almost all Bloodborne characters have, added some patterns and accessories based on the Mask of Chaos' patterns and the Decorative Old Hunter's set from the Old Hunters DLC (in the leg brace, forearm guard and the hints of gold chains around the upper arms).

He also gets a Threaded Cane, another trick weapon of Bloodborne fame which is as it suggests: A cane weapon that works a bit like a baton/sword combo but in its alternate form it's a whip covered in serrated metal blades which form the cane itself when locked together.

It seems very appropriate for Randall to be like a boss who starts out as the Masked Gentleman and then at half-or-less health you break his mask, reveal Randall and then wings burst out of his back as he enters his second phase rage mode. This concept part felt more DSouls-y than Bloodborne-y to me i think since Bloodborne is less fantastical and leans more into the body horror/monstrous kind of boss transitions? But at the same time it was too good an opportunity to pass on at least sketching out, plus get you some sick fallen angel imagery out of it.

Also the hanging arm pose miiight be a bit inspired by Artorias of the Abyss. just a bit.

Descole

i recall seeing a post somewhere once with this very low-res rare art of Descole sitting in a throne from somewhere i have no idea what it was for. and I remember it kinda reminded me of Lady Maria's promotional art for the Old Hunters DLC so that's why the last picture of Descole exists.

mf already dresses so extra i legit could think of nothing to add to make him more Bloodborne-y unlike the others. I also used his canon sword's design from the games with a custom sheath because again couldn't really think of anything more to do to make him fit more when he's already got a cool signature weapon to show off.

[mint-yooxgi]

Gunsmoke & Leather Prologue

Biker!AU - Part of the Gunsmoke & Leather Collab - With @kpop-stories-21 @anyamaris @pyeonghongrie @sanjoongie

@nebulousbrainsoup @stardragongalaxy and @yoonguurt

Genre: Mature, Angst, Fluff, Humour, Non-idol!AU

Pairing: Ateez X Reader - Prologue in Third Person, individual parts to follow

Words: 1,480

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Warnings: Allusion to kidnapping and supernatural occurrences. Mature themes.

A/n: *Insert laughing lizard gif here* As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

Summary: Eight online friends meet in person for the first time and plan to have a wild weekend. However, things quickly go awry when they are kidnapped by a notorious biker gang. Hilarity, misadventures, and perhaps even feelings ensue.

Stars twinkle in the night sky above, the light of the full moon illuminating the pavement as an old microbus makes its was through the city. Peals of laughter can be heard from within, a chorus of eight voices shouting along to lyrics they all know by heart. Every so often, a streetlamp provides insight to wide smiles stretched across bright faces, most dancing in their seats or shaking their other friends lightly in excitement.

This trip was meticulously planned. Simply getting everyone’s schedules to line up was a pain, but as luck would have it, an opening seemed to appear for them all. Furious calls were made and messages sent to arrange the perfect getaway for these eight friends, excitement lingering in every voice to finally be able to spend some time with each other.

What better way to spend some quality time with friends than on a road trip?

Thus, a microbus was rented, bags were packed, and the meeting point was set. All that is left to do is make it to their hotel for the night, and pick right back up where they left off tomorrow.

“I still can’t believe you convinced that guy in the chicken costume to take a picture with us.” A large grin stretches across Elara’s features as all heads turn to look at Aurora.

“And it made for a good memory!” She beams, pulling out her phone to begin swiping through the photos. “Look how happy we all are!”

“The photos did come out really nice.” Larissa hums, reaching forward to grab Aurora’s phone.

“Look at our faces!” Nix cackles, swiping the phone and zooming in on the picture. “Caly and Aries are giving the chicken man the worst side eye imaginable.” 

“Any man who says ‘let’s cock-a-doodle-doo this’ deserves to get the side eyes of death.” Aries replies bluntly, leaning back in his seat to get more comfortable.

“Fair enough,” Rhea laughs, patting the taller male on his shoulder. “What’s your reasoning Caly?”

All heads turn to the woman in the driver’s seat who has been quiet this whole time. A slight frown mars her brows, eyes flicking between the dashboard and the road ahead.

“Caly?” Eris tilts her head in concern, noting how her friend’s lips purse in worry. “What’s wrong?”

A few glances are shared around the vehicle, each friend sitting forward in anticipation.

“Calypso?” Aurora leans forward in the passenger seat, making sure her face is in view of her friend’s peripheral.

“Sorry guys, the check engine light came on about five minutes ago and it hasn’t seemed to want to turn off.” Caly finally responds, noting a small parking lot about a block away. “I’m just going to pull in here and make sure it’s nothing serious-“

Almost as soon as those words escape her mouth, grey smoke begins to billow out from the engine.

“Oh shit, something is definitely wrong!” Nix’s eyes widen as they pull into the empty parking lot.

The moment the vehicle comes to a stop, it lets out a loud rumbling groan. A few clicks can be heard before the microbus shuts off, more smoke rising from the engine.

“Well, that’s not good.” Rhea blinks, unbuckling their seatbelt and opening the side door.

It takes about a minute for all eight passengers to exit the vehicle, a few of them circling the microbus. Phones come out, flashlights turned on to inspect the surrounding area.

“Good thing we got insurance.” Aries sighs, popping the hood.

Slowly, the smoke seems to be dissipating, all eight friends crowding around the front of the vehicle.

“We were almost out of the city, too.” Elara sighs, looking briefly off in the distance.

“We still had an hour to go before we reached the hotel, though.” Eris comments, checking the map on her phone.

“We shouldn’t drive it any further tonight.” Caly sighs, pulling up a contact on her phone. “I’ll call a tow.”

Fifteen minutes later, and some mumbled complaints from friends, a tow is called.

“They said they should be here in about an hour, so we’ve got some time to kill.” Caly says, tucking her phone into her back pocket.

“What are we supposed to do for an hour?” Larissa frowns, letting out a soft exhale. Her foot begins to tap rhythmically on the ground.

“Maybe there’s something around here still open that we can check out?” Aurora suggests.

“What would still be open at this hour?” Crossing her arms over her chest, Nix huffs.

“Well, it looks like there’s a bar across the street…” Rhea points out.

All heads turn to see a faint neon sign, a few windows with a dull light illuminating the inside. The place seems pretty busy, too.

“Thank goodness,” Larissa already begins hustling across the street. “I have to pee.”

The others follow closely behind, a few chuckling affectionately at their friend.

“I could use a drink.” Nix hums, Aurora happily agreeing.

“Maybe we can order some food while we wait?” Elara suggests, the others nodding along with her words.

Aries holds the door open for all of them, and as they all step inside, it’s as if a small electric shock travels through their bodies. Sounds seems to muffle for the moment as the atmosphere surrounds them. Spines straighten and brows furrow, a few shuffling from foot to foot once they notice just how crowded the bar is.

“Did anyone else feel that?” Eris’ hushed whisper gets ignored as the hustle and bustle of the bar assaults their ears suddenly in full force.

Larissa is the first to seemingly snap out of her daze, blinking a few times before marching through the crowd and towards the sign labelled ‘bathroom’. Little does she notice the eyes that follow her every move.

Shortly after, Aurora, Nix, and Elara all begin to weave through the crowd and towards the bar. Soft chatter is heard all around, yet the three girls all manage to hear each other for the moment, discussing what drinks they should get.

“I wonder what food they have here…” Elara mumbles, sidling up to the bar.

Unbeknownst to them, three sets of eyes track their every movement, a male drifting towards each individual almost subconsciously.

“Maybe we should grab a table?” Rhea suggests lightly.

Nods are shared by the remaining friends, searching through the crowd for an open space to fit all eight.

“There.” Aries flicks his head to a table in the corner by the front windows.

Wordlessly, all four of them walk over, sliding into the rounded booth to wait for their friend’s return.

Every few minutes, Calypso keeps checking her phone. A worried frown tugs at her features, and she keeps glancing out the window towards that parking lot across the street.

“I’m gonna go wait by the car,” she says, sliding out of the booth a moment later. “You know, just in case the tow comes early, or something. I don’t want to miss their call. Plus, it’s a little too loud in here.”

“I’ll come with you!” Rhea hops out of the booth. “Maybe there’s another place open we can check out.”

“Sounds good.” Aries hums, casually resting his one arm across the back of the booth while Eris scopes out the place.

With a final wave, Caly and Rhea part from their friends, heading back out the door they had just walked in only minutes before.

Two males behind the counter share a look.

A few minutes pass by, Eris continuously glancing over towards the bar to keep an eye on her friends. Though, with the amount of people weaving between tables and lingering about, it’s getting harder and harder to spot her friends. In fact, she’s already lost visual on Elara and Aurora. Luckily, Nix seems to still be in plain sight.

“Issie is sure taking a long time in the bathroom.” Eris comments, worrying her bottom lip. “I can’t see Lara or Rora, either.”

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Aries hums, glancing out the window to see Caly across the street leaning against the car, and Rhea heading down the street. He turns his attention back to the bar, having felt eyes on him. “I can see them right now.”

“Alright,” Eris replies, a vary tone to her voice. “But I’m going to go check on Issie.”

All Eris receives from the taller male is a nod in response. Carefully, she slips out of the booth, heading in the same direction Larissa did only minutes before.

A pair of eyes follow her through the crowd, yet she is none the wiser. A pair of eyes which glance around the room, flashing briefly as they lock with several other sets that all seem to share the same thought.

Eight subtle nods are given, and eight friends are soon separated, never to see each other that night again.

[browsethestacks]

The Muppet Show

Season 04 Ep 19 - Lynda Carter

In honor of "Wonder Woman" Lynda Carter, Scooter buys a mail-order course on how to be a superhero. Soon a crowd of Muppets are wearing silly costumes and reading Invincibility Made Easy. Meanwhile, Miss Piggy appears as "Wonder Pig", and battles a giant chicken.

[barananduen-blog]

FAVORITE CDRAMAS - 2024

This year, I finished 33 dramas (including minis, movies, one variety show, and some left over from previous years). Among those, these were my favorites, including a short "about" summary or an "explain this poorly."

NOTES

All of these are ancient costume dramas, unless noted specifically.

I don't care if a drama has a happy or a sad ending, as long as it's well written.

THE STARS: These are the ones that I not only super enjoyed, but also score great on all critical aspects: plot, writing, character depth, visual appeal, and the ability to capture and hold the viewer's attention. ✅Recommend! THE CHECKMARKS: They're great and I really, really enjoyed them, and they made me squee too🥰 but they're not as technically perfect as the ones above. Still awesome dramas, and I recommend them! ✅Recommend! OTHERS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT: They're not a third tier, or an honorable mention. Generally, they're not that great technically, or missed the list by a botched ending, or something in the technical aspects was missing, but I enjoyed them nevertheless and want to talk about them for some reason. Other than that, they're just listed in the order in which I watched them.

SUBTITLES: Please help stop the prejudice against Mango subtitles. Everything I've watched from them this year has had excellent subs.

ON ROMANCE: Though I appreciate it, I'm not really all that much into the romance aspect of dramas. I say this because I know many people watch them specifically for the romance, and I've seen comments asking how soon the couples kiss. At the end of a drama, I tend to not even remember if they kissed or not (unless it was memorable - either because it was a very good kiss or a very bad one😂). So, with that disclaimer said...

THE STARS

"A JOURNEY TO LOVE" Liu Shishi, Liu Yuning, Alen Fang, He Landou, Chen Youwei, Wang Yizhe

I watched half of this in January and it was broadcast after I posted my faves from last year, so it goes in this year's list.

Premise: Emperor is kidnapped. No one really wants to rescue him. Ning Yuanzhou (Liu Yuning) puts together a team of Ocean's Eleven Ning's Six to bring him back, including an assassin, a crossdressing princess, an angry doctor, a womanizing archer, an engineer puppy, and an animal-loving defense specialist.

"LOVE YOU SEVEN TIMES" Ding Yuxi, Yang Chaoyue

Left over from 2023.

Premise: Seven shorter stories strung together by the overarching plot of trying to recover the God of War's powers and figuring out what happened with a powerful evil fairy.

"BELL RINGING" Li Daikun, Song Fangyuan

Mixture of modern and ancient, but modern is main. Twelve 20-ish minute episodes.

Explain it Badly: The tragic story of what happens when you don't read the fine print when signing a (magical) contract. [I reviewed it properly here.]

"THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI" Zhao Liying, Lin Gengxin

Explain it Badly: The goddess of war has become a chicken. An unfeeling immortal feels. This is catastrophic. But first, he buys the chicken.

"IN BLOSSOM" Ju Jingyi, Liu Xueyi

Premise: Coroner gets kidnapped and subjected to a forced face transplant by jealous socialite who wants her boyfriend. Socialite marries coroner's BF but is killed at the wedding. Coroner, who now looks like the socialite, teams up with former boyfriend (who doesn't know about the face swap) to solve cases.

"UNCHAINED LOVE" Dylan Wang, Chen Yuqi

Left over from 2022, actually.

Explain it Badly: The empire's Most Eligible Eunuch, who everyone wants to bed, and the concubine who really Does Not Want to die with the dead emperor. [I wrote about it more properly here.]

"CALL ME BY FIRE - SEASON 4" Singing variety show

Not a drama, but I'd really be remiss if I didn't include it here. The grip this show had one me! I'll just copy what I wrote before:

Explain it Badly: Call Me by Fire is going to ruin me for normal concerts. What do you mean your show doesn't have singing, dancing, playing instruments, Peking Opera, acting a whole cinematographic mini movie with costumes, flying and dancing on wires, fighting live without doubles, the multilevel moving stage burning, explosions, drowning, trees falling, *WHEEEZE!* and fake rain all at once?! ...That explains it pretty well, actually.

I started watching this for Miyavi and then I was HOOKED.

THE CHECKMARKS

"WHITE CAT LEGEND" Ding Yuxi, Zhou Qi, Ding Jiawen, Zhang Yicong, Feng Man, Anwaer Kuddusjan

Explain it Badly: Catboy detective (Ding Yuxi, of course; he has the white cat role pegged) adopts a golden retriever puppy and four other fools to solve cases and get a government job. And then there's the orange cat.

"DRAMATIC SELF-HELP STRATEGY" Jin Zixua, Hao Fushen

Mini-drama from 2023. 25eps x 10min

Premise: Actress transmigrates into a drama she's acting in ... as a character who's about to be killed because her husband has just died! She must save him, solve the mystery of his murder to save herself, break a time loop, and return to the real world.

A hidden gem. The mystery is pretty well done in this drama, which is super rare, especially in minis.

"NANCHENG BANQUET" Wang Youshuo, Zhao Zhaoyi, Xia Ningjun

Explain it Badly: Assassin loses her memory, becomes a cartoon bunny sunny fake eunuch, the emperor's bad-influence bestie, and her grumpy former target's employee. Everyone's lovely. [I explained it properly here.]

"LOVE IN THE DESERT" Alen Fang, Hankiz Omar

A Secret Third Option (Why I liked it): I really enjoyed watching this; it was very different from other costume dramas. From the setting (desert tribes instead of high-society cities) to the soundtrack, to the "This is allowed now?" moments, this was different in a good way. The costumes were so many (about 1 every 2 eps for FL, and a whole bunch for 2FL, + other characters) and every single one of them was top notch; the best I've seen in a cdrama so far.

"LOVE GAME IN EASTERN FANTASY" Esther Yu, Ding Yuxi

Almost a Star: This was a super fun drama. :D It's lighthearted, and the first five episodes are laugh-out-loud funny. Everyone's really nice, even most of the villains - you end up feeling for them as well, and most of them redeem themselves. And all characters are fully fleshed-out, even the mini-villains the party encounters along the way. Esther's costumes are SO pretty, too. [I did a proper review of it here.]

"BLOSSOM" Meng Ziyi, Li Yunrui

Almost a Star: This drama surprised me by doing time travel AND "going against fate" differently. I also liked how, despite looking like it would go in that direction, it wasn't a revenge drama, but the protagonist really tried to make life better for everyone. Good plot, good writing all throughout, good characterization, keeps your interest. The first full-length drama I watch from a director whose minis I enjoy. Definitely recommend!

OTHERS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT

"SECRETS OF THE SHADOW SECT" Hu Yiyao, Lin Zehui

Mini drama. 24 eps x 12 min

Almost a Checkmark. Honestly, I don't remember why this wasn't a checkmark. But I also honestly cannot remember the ending. So maybe that had something to do with it. However, before that, the cinematography and sets were beautiful and the plot was interesting and well-written. The characters were engaging, as well.

"HEART OF ICE AND FLAME" Huang Tingting, Li Daikun

Mini drama. 24 eps x 10 min. Cliffhanger ending.

Ep 24 is a cliffhanger and a hook for a new plot. You can take ep23 as an ending, if you want, I guess. The production value was low, but the plot was good, and the main characters were such endearing dumbasses. The two leads play 3 characters/personas each, and each has their own distinct personality and has iconic moments. ML's main persona (dumb prince) unknowingly marries all 3 of FL's, each for different reasons, and she (in reality a former general) plays along because she wants his heart (literally). Then there's the wizard who's stuck in a snow avalanche but can still send and receive messages. And Chen Zihan, who played Tragicomic Ghost in Word of Honor, plays the mother of scorpions here. TW: If you have a phobia of bugs, probably skip this one.

"BUTTERFLIED LOVER" Rain Lu, Zhao Yiqin

Mini drama from 2023. 22 eps x 20 min

I pretty much try anything from this director because he's honestly top notch. Absolutely stunning works, visually!

Ancient vampires, pretty much. The only reason it didn't rank higher for me was personal - as I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I'm not really into plots that focus only on the romance. But if you enjoy romance plots, I definitely recommend you check this out!

"THE DOUBLE" Wu Jinyan, Wang Xingyue

Almost a Checkmark. Revenge plot and fake identities. For most of the drama, I thought this was amazing, and then I wasn't too thrilled about the ending arc. But the drama was really well done. Visually beautiful, with fun and interesting characters, and multiple, parallel plots, which is something I like. Amidst all the tragedy, it also had two comic relief characters that I enjoyed a lot (the turtle cousin and the attendant who apparently didn't know how to use stairs).

"LOVE'S REBELLION" Zhang Linghe, Jing Tian

Reason to Watch It: Appreciate Zhang Linghe looking 🔥 sometimes evil and sometimes not, and a pretty whale town that reminded me of Kilika from Final Fantasy X (mostly X-2 because of the pastel colors). The characters and their interactions were fun. The villains did a good job being hateable. Pity the frustrating omission of a key fight - what was so problematic about ML's brain-fight with the demon that they had to cut it?? We were left wondering what happened in there.

🔇NSFW Audio! Use headphones while playing video🔇 "MISTAKEN LOVE" Shao Yuqi, Li Daikun

Mini drama. 24 eps x 10 min

A drama that you "watch for the plot" The "plot" = *points at video above* If you watch dramas for the kissing scenes and you don't mind every character being toxic, this is a drama for you.

Really good artistic direction (sets and costumes, camerawork, colors, lighting, music timing, etc.), and honestly the best kissing scenes I've seen in a cdrama (note I did say Chinese drama, and I've only been watching since 2021). And extra kudos to Duan Yixuan for her brave dubbing of FL (note: same voice actress who dubbed Bai Lu in "Till the End of the Moon"). Why "brave?" *points at the video again*😳

"THE STORY OF PEARL GIRL" Zhao Lusi, Liu Yuning

Almost a Checkmark. Would have been a solid Checkmark if not for the last episode. I have nothing against what the last ep told us, but rather against how they told it. It could have been 15-20min long and it would have been stronger for it. I do understand that the dragging was meant as a narrative parallel to how the characters wanted to extend the time they spent together as much as possible (as shown by the very slow soup-drinking and dregs-scraping), but, personally, I lost my patience with the method. Then, on the second half of that ep, it would have been nice if, instead of just showing the meeting from a neutral POV, they'd done it from the protag's POV, letting the viewer experience her emotional turmoil and distraught-ness, much like they did when she was diving for pearls at the beginning. Finally, the very last scene, with the camels, told a story but felt detached; they could have shown an aged version of the character leading into that narration.

I'm currently watching other December releases, but if they make the list, I'll include them in next year's.

[anonymous-dentist]

Five weeks out of prison, and Cellbit is buying his sick son cough medicine from the haunted convenience store down the block. It's late at night- too late at night, probably, so it's just him and the two employees and an old lady in an old fur coat...

"I said, put your fucking hands in the air!"

...and the guy in the giant moth fursuit robbing the store.

The girl behind the counter chews her gum and slowly, boredly, raises her hands. The other employee has his AirPods in and either can't hear the villain or doesn't care. The old woman is deaf. And Cellbit... well.

Cellbit picks up a bottle of NyQuil and adds it to his basket. The villain hasn't noticed him yet, so he doesn't have anything to worry about.

Tonight's villain is a low-rank street thug going by 'Moth Man'. He can fly, but only at night, and he sounds like he smokes eight packs of cigarettes a day.

Spiders, Cellbit hears as he sneaks to the next aisle over. It makes sense. Moths, spiders, they aren't exactly friends in the wild.

Of course, Cellbit considers as he picks up a box of tissues and silently slips it in next to the medicine, Moth Man could be scared of a different spider. The different spider.

He watches, mostly unconcerned, as Moth Man waves his Moth Gun in the clerk's face.

"Check it out, guys," he sleezes, leaning in close and shoving his phone right next to the gun's barrel. "She's totally freaked right now."

Moth Man is also a vlogger. More specifically: he's a TikTok streamer, and he's a pretty popular one, too. Honestly, Cellbit's surprised that the Federation hasn't shut his account down yet. (But, really, that would require them actually doing something fucking useful for once.)

Censors, Cellbit hears, and that one makes a bit more sense. He grabs a big bottle of hand sanitizer and adds it to the basket. Algorithm failure, face reveal, doxxing, spiderspiderspiderspiders.

"Absolutely terrified," the clerk unconvincingly says. "Do you want me to empty the register out, or what?"

Dogs, Cellbit hears from her. Needles, knives.

Moth Man's cheap plastic antennae flop embarrassingly as he nods, all fake enthusiasm. He looks down at his phone and thanks someone for the donation, another for a rose.

"No, it's real," he tells his chat. "See?"

He raises his gun to the ceiling, and he fires.

Cellbit jumps, nearly dropping his basket. He swears under his breath and kinda maybe hopes that Moth Man doesn't have super hearing, too, because he needs to get home. His son is sick, he doesn't have time for wannabe-villains in cheap costumes.

Horrible costumes.

Moth Man's felt wings flutter behind him as he lowers his gun and points it back at the shaken clerk.

"See?" he sneers. "Now give me the money."

Terrible costumes.

Honestly, villains these days are just kind of stupid. Where's the anonymity when everyone knows your shadow? How are you supposed to sneak around causing problems and slitting throats when you have giant neon green felt moth wings sticking three feet out of you? And those goggles had better be night vision, or poor Moth Man is going to walk face-first into a lamppost the second he leaves the store.

Cellbit shakes his head and goes to find the soup. Back in his day...

"I was!" the clerk shouts. "Here!"

She opens the register, and then two things happen in quick succession:

1. Cellbit picks up a can of chicken noodle soup. He's not a huge fan himself, but Forever swears by it, and Richarlyson's cold is bad enough that Cellbit's willing to try anything. (He's only had this kid for five weeks, but he thinks he'd kill for him, and that's saying something.)

2. A brilliant flash of red and blue crashes through the store's front display window with a whoop.

Spiders! Cellbit hears. He smiles despite himself, licks his lips just briefly before catching himself and biting his tongue back into his mouth.

Spider-Man's poses are maybe one of the more badass things about him. He lands on the counter in a classic pose, crouched with one hand flat on the counter and the other pointed directly at Moth Man's face. His forehead is pressed against the gun's end, and he's probably smiling under his mask, the freak.

"S-Spider-Man!" Moth Man squeaks. "What are you doing here?"

Spider-Man tilts his head. "Uuuuuh, kicking your ass?"

And then he punches the fucker right in the nose.

Moth Man skitters backwards, crashing into a rack of newspapers. His finger slips and he fires his gun right into the register, sending the clerk screaming onto the floor. Good, she doesn't need to be involved.

"What the fuck what the fuck-" Moth Man breathes.

He jumps to his feet and points his phone's camera at Spider-Man, who doesn't so much as give him enough time to start narrating before slinging a web and stealing the phone right out of his hand.

Silently, Cellbit slips his own phone out of his pocket and starts recording. Just for himself, really. He'll add it to the Google Doc later.

Spider-Man turns Moth Man's phone over in his hands thoughtfully.

"Dude, is this an iPhone?" he asks. "Since when do you have iPhone money?"

"Fuck you, I have money!"

He fires his gun again, this time on purpose. Spider-Man easily dodges the bullet, not even looking up from the phone's web-covered screen.

"With that costume?" Spider-Man snorts and shakes his head. "No way, man."

"My costume is awesome!" Moth Man snaps. "Fuck you! Die, Spider-Man!"

He's terrified, Cellbit can smell the fear coming off of him in waves. It's sour and black and foul and gut-turning, but it could be stronger. This guy might be dumb, but he's also too stupid to realize he's in a fight he can't win. It's embarrassing.

But, really, it's none of Cellbit's business. He's just gonna sneak out as soon as he-

A screeching Moth Man flies past him, his bare hand grazing Cellbit's nose, crashing into the back row of freezers. Cellbit flinches back a step, fumbling with his phone. He gets it level just as Spider-Man pounces on the villain from above with a happy little cheer.

Inexplicably, Moth Man screams and curls into himself, dropping his gun and cowering and muttering to himself.

Whoops.

Spider-Man stands above him mid-kick, confused.

"Dude," says Spider-Man, "what the hell is wrong with you? Come on, get up!"

Cellbit starts sneaking his way out, slipping away as Spider-Man tries getting Moth Man to get up and finish their battle properly.

None of his business, he tells himself. It's none of his business. He got his footage, it's none of his business. One step at a time, tonight is not the night for an interview. He has a sick son to take care of. Investigating can wait.

...He stops in the doorway to take one last video, this one of Spider-Man chasing the poor terrified Moth Man around the store practically begging for him to stop being weird, what kind of fight is this supposed to be?

Camera off, slip out onto the streets and start the trip back home.

Forever's gonna be pissed about the shoplifting, but at least it isn't murder anymore. Cellbit is trying to set a good example.

-

Based off of THIS AU

[ice-creamforbreakfast]

Empress of Evil, Cabbagepatch Prudence Le-Croissant Pantoufle  Baba-Yaga Mothballs-Smyth's Expanded List of Enemies

Clockwise from top left: Sabrina Carpenter - Caused Cabbagepatch to be misdiagnosed with Musical anhedonia after she mistakenly attempted to use SocialBunny Reels to gain knowledge. Nigel - Directly responsible for the hike in the costs importing Cabbagepatch's favourite sausages. Bit him once. Tasted of cigars and polyblend. The Mold - Has learned mind control and looks to become one of Cabbagepatch's most dangerous enemies. Hannah Montanna - A master of disguise. Cabbagepatch has learned not to trust costumed individuals. Donald - Stupid, but with an unfortunately wide influence. Sold Cabbagepatch a business with cooked book. The Chickens - Permanently stupid and yet blessed with an ability to foil Cabbagepatch's every attempt on their lives. Isabella Smyth - Stood on Cabbagepatch's tail once and will suffer the consequences for the rest of her life. Temperance - Attempted to baby Cabbagepatch and did not allow her to eat coals. She paid for it with her sanity and her hair. Aiden Lucas - Indirectly had Cabbagepatch exiled from the Shadows during a moment of weakness when she thought about sausages while on Shadow business and had this used to her advantage. John Doe - Cabbagepatch's friend Leticia 'Tits' McGhee asked her to guard an individual who was in her care. Cabbagepatch's basement lair has never been the same, even after fumigation. Gail Platt - Bought the last of Cabbagepatch's favourite sausages from Fred Elliott. Cabbagepatch pooped on her lawn for a month afterwards until important business took her away from Weatherfield. Clutterpuss - There are three things Cabbagepatch doesn't like; AI art, sidebangs and cats. The Vet (all) - Sneaky bastards. Riley - Riley's Stupid-meter is permanently stuck at 'thick as shit'. Cabbagepatch has no patience for the loud, idiotic and dead behind the eyes blunderbuss of a woman. Smokey Bear - Prevented Cabbagepatch's takeover of Granite Falls. Emperor Satsuma of Mt. Komorebi - Shut down Cabbagepatch's underground mudwrestling enterprise and made it incredibly difficult for her to conduct business in the area. Lassie - Saved Timmy from the well after Cabbagepatch pushed him down it. Shakey - Existed Loki Beaker - Stole Cabbagepatch's beret and attempted to hold her hostage for science after she crash-landed in Strangetown. He failed. Rasputin - Defrauded Cabbagepatch of her favourite sausages by promising magic. Lied. Archimedes - Tried to clipe on Cabbagepatch to the Grim Reaper after realising that she had lived an unnaturally long time. KJ Rowley - Does not believe in sim rights for Servos. Cabbagepatch is evil, but has her limits. She believes Servos deserve equal rights and disdain like all sims. Henry Mills - Foiled the eighth Dark Curse when Cabbagepatch attempted to make all of Storybrook her servants and had planned for them to open a butcher shop and act as her sausage-serving servants. Figgyduff Delilah Gila-Monster Triffid-Bouqet Mothballs - Cabbagepatch's sister. Stole her favourite sausages once. Must die.

[waddgrunkblubbica]

My dumbass Reverse Falls concept that I'll never actually do anything with

Not everyone gets a total swap. Some people (like Fiddleford, as an example) stay in practically the same role they are in canon.

Gid & Paz are adoptive siblings, rather than cousins or whatever other convoluted relationship used to reinforce the theme of family bonds. Instead, it's reinforced by the two being a family that shares no blood.

Bud & Carla divorced after Gideon was born. The stress of having two children put immense strain on their marriage and caused them to split. Gideon lives in Cali with Carla, and normally only sees Bud & Paz on holidays like Christmas or Easter.

Bud's still a used car salesman, but his new wife owns and operates a gift shop, which is how this version of the Pines/Gleeful Feud arises.

The Mystery Shack is basically the same, with the only major difference being the Twins' evening magic shows.

Gid & Paz are, for a given measure of the term, Villain Protagonists in the early show. Well meaning villains, but villains nonetheless.

CHARACTER DETAILS

Bud Gleeful

Still secretly the leader of the Blind Eye Society

Kidnapped Paz as a baby from the Northwests after learning how they were abusing her. He wiped all memories of the Northwests ever having a daughter, and has done his best to stop anyone finding out about it. Has absolutely zero regrets about this

Not the best father, but far from the worst. Very middle of the road.

Is still an antagonistic force, though out of a misguided desire to help

Gideon 'Giddy' Gleeful

Antisocial shut-in with a hero complex

Wants to save the day and get the girl, and sees Journal 3 as his way of doing that

Thinks Mason is mind-controlling Mabel into hating him and wants to free her from his spell. Just as bad at taking hints as Canon Gideon

Studious, but not especially academic

'Paz Gleeful'

As mentioned before, was adopted as a baby by Bud after he kidnapped her. Is not aware of this fact, and Bud intends to keep it that way

A kind of goofy but brilliant girl who dresses in a late-90's early aughts manner

Likes Greasy's Diner, Horror & Mystery novels, videogames, and Clucky, her pet chicken

Dislikes bells, the Undead, being upstaged or underestimated, people finding out about her crush on Robbie Valentino, and Gideon's search history

Stanley 'Stanford' Pines

pretty much the same as Canon Stanley, though he did reveal the truth to Mason & Mabel after they found Journal 2 at the school

Became the Twins' legal guardian after their parents died in an accident. Shermie couldn't take them because of his declining health, both physical and mental

Taught the Twins everything they know about fleecing a crowd. Mason took to it better than Mabel did, but they both make him proud with their flawless scams

The Twins as a unit

Like to play up the 'creepy twins' angle as much as possible, doing things like finishing each other's sentences, talking in unison, or using overly formal terms of endearment

Mabel's a visionary, Mason makes it all work

Mabel is as subtle as a brick through a window, Mason knows the value of not being seen

Only Mabel ever calls Mason 'Dipper'

Mabel Pines

Relies heavily on her Amulet for her part in the act, due to her inability to properly use magic. This leaves her mental state more fragile

Despite being unable to use magic on her own, was able to figure out how to make stickers that could be used as magic sigils. They're vastly inferior to proper sigils, but they work well enough that, if you know what sigils to place where, you can use any magic you want at any time. She keeps a book or two of these sigil stickers on her at all times

Personally makes every costume or prop used in their act. Is just as much of a renaissance woman as her Canon counterpart

Feels a deep-seated sense of inferiority towards Mason, thanks to his more studious nature. As such, she tends to get competitive over ridiculous things

Mason Pines

Is self-conscious about his birthmark, and wears makeup to conceal it. It's cheap makeup though, so he tends to sweat through it when agitated, nervous, excited, or exerting himself

Projects a persona of a calm, confident con-man, but is still just a sweaty, awkward occult nerd like Canon Dipper

Is an actual magic-user, even without the Amulets. Has been practicing magic ever since Mabel found Journal 2 when they were seven

Will do anything for the good of the family, even throw away his own humanity

Stanford 'Ford' Pines

In every universe, there is a member of The Zodiac that is the most evil version of them across all realities. In Canon, it was Gideon. Anti-Mabel was her universe's evil one. In this universe, it's Ford

Is 200% on board with Weirdmageddon. Did not need any convincing to come around, and was kind of already planning on doing something

Did not hide The Journals out of a sense of shame, instead it's a failed ploy to eliminate members of the Zodiac so that Weirdmageddon will happen unresisted. As such, the information left behind is deliberately misleading, incomplete, or more dangerous than in Canon

Genuinely appalled at the idea that a gaggle of pre-teens could improve on his work (and also that they read his diary)

Soos Ramirez

Practically unchanged, beyond having a more explicitly sibling-like relationship with The Twins

He's perfect

Wendy Corduroy

Is basically the same, though she gets even less focus because she's only ever seen around town or at The Shack

Robbie Valentino

Works in Bud's wife's shop as a cashier. Paz has a crush on him at the start of the series, but loses it after he tries to hypnotize Wendy into not breaking up with him. He's basically Wendy if she was a sweaty, insecure emo boy instead of a lumberjane so high-strung it loops back around to seeming calm

Fiddleford Hadron McGucket

Like Canon McGucket, he was Ford's assistant. Unlike Canon McGucket, the affection only went one way

Didn't accidentally fall, he was pushed. Only escaped because he managed to get a grip on the portal's frame. Did not catch on that Ford just tried to kill him, and so he still ended up as an amnesiac coot

Bill Cipher

A liar. A deceiver. Never trust a word from him ever. Even when he's telling the truth, it's a lie

Presents himself as a put-upon victim of the Pines' sadism, but it's all a lie. If he needed them to talk, he'd lie through his teeth

Unlike Canon Bill, never gave a shit about Ford, and was lying when he said that he'd rule by his side. Ford's just necessary for the Weirdmageddon plan

Everything Canon Bill thinks he is, this guy actually is. The only difference is he pretends to be a harmless little sadboy for pity points

Townsfolk

Grenda & Candy are Mabel's Henchgirls. Realistically, this doesn't change anything about their relationship with Mabel, they just call her 'Boss' and dress like gangsters. The gangster outfits were Candy's idea

The Northwests are functionally the same, they just don't remember they have a daughter. They just go around being rich assholes. They hire both Mason & Paz to capture the ghost in their mansion, which leads to the big reveal that Paz is actually Pacifica Northwest, the missing heiress to the Northwest fortune

Lazy Susan is more of a character, since Paz spends so much of her time at Greasy's. Practically a second (or is it third? Fourth?) mother to her

Blubbs & Durland do not change

Tyler still ends up mayor

WEIRDMAGEDDON

As mentioned, Ford was in on a lot of Bill's plan, and Bill even promised that Ford would be one of his Henchmaniacs. However, the mechanics of the Zodiac make this impossible. At best, he's a dancing monkey for Bill's amusement.

Further, Ford tries to get as many members of the Zodiac killed as possible, directly trying and failing to kill Stan and Fiddleford, and indirectly trying to get whoever finds the Journals killed through shoddy information. However, the game can't begin until all the pieces are on the board, and as such the plan's been on hold for the last 30 years.

Also, Ford can't just let The Rift grow on its own, it has to be shattered by someone possessed by Bill that isn't a member of The Zodiac.

Once Weirdmageddon begins, Ford tries to take his place at Bill's side, but Bill reveals he's played Ford for a chump and never had any intention of letting Ford have any power. Ford swears revenge before being turned to stone.

The rest of the Pines family has to come to terms with the fact that Ford betrayed them, and everyone else, by siding with Bill. All the characters that escape Weirdmageddon decide to rescue the rest of the townsfolk, even if it kills them, inadvertently freeing Ford, who's still wanting revenge.

Like in Canon, they try to form The Zodiac, but it fails, so they have to resort to erasing the memories of a Stan. Unlike in Canon, it's Ford they do this to, and nobody gives enough of a shit to restore Ford's memories. Ford spends the rest of his days in a mental hospital, under strict orders to never be referred to by name. There's some parallelism to Canon Bill here.

Bill attempts to invoke the Axolotl, but in its infinite wisdom, it deems this Bill unworthy of further second chances and atomizes him on the spot. A version of TBOB never comes to be. Bill is eventually forgotten.

[beefrobeefcal]

Dieter Measures Up feat. Dieter Bravo & Cookie (f!reader)

a HeftyThrowaway one shot drabble | Rated: 18+ | word count: 834 warnings: weight gain, grinding, Dieter being a needy mess A/N: thank you @toxicanonymity for celebrating 900 friendos in the bistro! and yes... this is a bit more than a drabble.

Dieter groaned. He looked over the email from his manager, suggesting in the firmest way possible that wouldn’t compromise their job, that he needed to wear an actual suit to the premier. To add to his grief, they put in bold right at the end before signing off: YOU ARE NOT WEARING ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING SOMETHING YOU COULD SLEEP IN.

Included in the message was also the requirement to get fitted for the suit because they knew he hadn’t lost any of the weight he’d gained for the role. Rolling his eyes, he flipped the bird at his phone, tossed it into the pocket of his robe, and pulled the tube of raw cookie dough from the fridge. He forwent the spoon, taking a big bite of the dough, and leaned over the counter thinking.

An idea hit him: he could just send the measurements that were taken when he arrived on set to shoot ten months ago. He smiled as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his notes before it dawned on him that he had to be measured and then remeasured a few times over the course of the shoot because his costumes kept shrinking. As he wondered who he needed his assistant to contact to track down the measurements, another email arrived from his management team: DON’T ASK FOR PRIOR MEASUREMENTS. THEY WON’T BE ACCURATE ANYMORE.

He scowled at his screen. “Mother fucker.”

*****

It had been a while since he’d been to a tailor, normally opting for off the rack because prior to this role, he was within the sample size range. He was pretty sure he still was. Sure, he had less of the iconic ‘slutty little waist’ and sure, his belly had stuck out when he wasn’t close to being full, but there was no way he was that much bigger.

At least he thought that until the seamstress, an older European woman, came out and began to measure him. Every time he felt the measuring tape pull tight against his body followed by the older woman calling out a number much higher than he anticipated, his body reacted. Not negatively – no, quite the opposite. He was getting hard.

Even after the project wrapped, he kept you on as his private cook, telling you that now he’d had a bite of his ‘Cookie’, there was no way he could have any other. And while nothing was official between you, he hadn’t fucked around with anyone else, and even cleared out his extensive vintage clown pornography collection from the guesthouse and set you up in there so you could live on sight. He loved the praise you gave when he finished his meals and he craved the look you gave when he sat back, belly heavy and sitting on his lap.

He needed to get home. Now.

****

You stood at the door to the pantry, debating on whether to make burritos or chicken korma for dinner that evening when you heard the door from the garage open and slam loudly. Before you could ask if everything was okay, Dieter was behind you, shoving you against the wall, his front to your back.

“Fuck, you do your job so good.”, he grunted, biting softly into your neck. His whole thick body pinned you and he bucked his hips, seeking friction.

“Most bosses offer a raise… not a full body slam.”, you breathed back with a smile.

“Most bosses…”, he panted, “aren’t grateful… enough.”

“Dieter… we can go to the bedro-“

“No… right… oh fuck… right here’s fine…”, he grunted with a whine. He ground his hips, and his painfully hard erection finally found the right angle against your left ass cheek.

“Dee! The couch! Not here!”

His breathing picked up and he bit the crux of your neck and shoulder with a whine. “Just… almost… need this…”

 You pushed your body from the wall with all your strength, but it was no use; Dieter’s additional weight had made his physical self just as stubborn as his personality.

“Got me so… fuckin’ big… Olga… measured me… no idea… who I was… said I was a… a fat man…”, he whimpered in grunts, breath panting over the skin he’s made wet on your neck and shoulder.

You couldn’t help but moan in response, and his arm snaked around to your front, cupping your legging clad mound, and pulling your ass against him harder. It was almost painful, but also euphoric. Dieter’s breaths became faster and carried high pitch whines with them.

“I promise… I’ll fuck… I’ll fuck you later… after dinner… just need… to cum n-oh fuck!”

You felt a warmth through your leggings on your ass cheek and his whines hit heights that only dogs could hear. When he finally stilled, his body relaxed enough that you could turn around and face him. He gave you a goofy half grin with heavy lidded eyes.

“Now that we got that out of the way, I’m starved. What’s for dinner?”

[lambsouvlaki]

For the Hell of It - Date Night

Characters: Jason Todd x fem!oc

Rating and warnings: G, no warnings.

Word count: 1,237

Summary: Dating a vigilante is hard, but worth it. Early on their relationship, she has to face that.

Masterlist

--------

On an early autumn night they strolled across Robinson park. Actors in Elizabethan costume were prancing around the low concrete stage, doing some warm-up crowd work. Jason’s arm was slung over her shoulder, and her dog Marlow trotted happily alongside them. 

They weren’t great at the actual Dating aspect of dating just yet. It was still early days, and they had sidled into being together by following the same trajectory as their friendship, now with sex. They supported and trusted each other, they were both loyal and committed. They had already had two years to figure all that out. 

Romantic nights out had been planned, postponed, and cancelled. Andy had eaten alone at a restaurant booked for two, not to know until later that Jason was fighting Killer Croc in a cage match. The week after he was blowing up an exotic animal trafficking ring before the major players could flee to south america. 

He was apologetic and self recriminating. She could already see the barbed little seeds of ‘can this even work?’ trying to take root in his mind. 

But she wasn’t a quitter. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d been forced to stand her up. It wasn’t even in the first five, and she’d long since made her peace with it. It just felt more calamitous because now it was called a date. 

It wasn’t a big deal, she decided. If other people could make it work, the partners of firefighters, nurses, other on-call professionals, then Wonder Woman help her, she could too. 

Despite telling herself it wasn’t a big deal and she wasn’t worried, when Friday night swung around: bright, warm, and dry she let out an audible sigh of relief. 

The light was swiftly dying but the park was surprisingly busy. It was the last Shakespeare in the Park of the year, and there were food trucks and little battery-powered candles for sale. Families and couples of all ages milled about looking for good spots. A polite group of children came over and asked if they could pet their dog, to said dog’s eternal happiness. 

“I propose a strategy,” Andy said.

“Hit me.” 

“We split up to look for clues, and by clues I mean the best food trucks. That yellow one has empanadas, and we passed a flag before that said something about paella.”

He nodded seriously. “You take Marlow, I’ll take the backpack, and we’ll meet back here in ten.” 

They broke off like fighter jets zooming away, and roughly ten minutes later they returned with arms full of delicious smelling cardboard boxes. They set up their picnic blanket on the slope some distance from the stage where they had a good view of the whole area. They’d arrived at the perfect time, because the park was filling up. 

They sat on the ground and laid out the spoils of their hunt, just as the show was starting. 

The empanadas were sold out, but they had choripan instead, which Andy picked up for Jason. The paella was with shrimp and mussels, and was absolutely delicious, if a little small. Jason had found Korean fried chicken, and little skewered things called tteokkochi that neither were familiar with but were excited to try. 

It was a confused and messy dinner that they dove into with relish, and some negotiations over final bites. 

Getting the choripan was a strategic move on her part, because Jason was a sucker for anything in the neighbourhood of a hotdog. The fried chicken was the perfect counter, he knew her weaknesses. The tteokkochi turned out to be deep fried rice cakes slathered in sweet and tangy hot sauce, that had them both licking sticky fingers and promising to try them again some time. 

Up on stage a short performance of the play within a play from Midsummer Night’s Dream was finishing up. 

Next up, and the main show for the night, was an abridged version of Much ado Nothing. Jason scrunched up their food packages and lobbed it into the nearby trash can, and Andy got out the thermos of non-alcoholic mulled wine from the backpack for them to share. 

They relaxed together on the slope, leaning back on their hands, with Marlow sitting up next to them on look out. 

Jason glanced away for a moment. 

“Hey, can I borrow your scarf?” he asked. 

“Yeah, sure.” She handed it over without questioning the strange request. 

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek then wrapped it around his neck so he could pull it up and hide his face.

“I’ll be right back.”

He snuck away through the crowd. 

The play continued, the actors hamming it up appropriately. The night had set in properly now, and large lights beamed down onto the stage leaving the rest of them in darkness. The audience around her laughed at the jokes and gags. 

She leaned against her dog. 

The night was getting cooler.  

Why did it hurt more now than it had when they were just friends?

She’d had no expectation of him then, she supposed. She hadn’t wanted him to be hers.

No. That wasn’t true, she had wanted him badly for some time, but squished it all deep down inside of her. Now it was out, with promises made and claims staked, it was hard to keep that once contained desire on a leash. 

He would give his life for her if the situation demanded it. She knew that, with the same confidence she knew tomorrow would follow today. 

But he would give his life for just about anyone if the situation demanded it. He was never going to change. She wouldn’t want him to.

She looked at the silhouettes of people in the dark around her, an elderly couple on camping chairs to her side, and ahead of her a family with two children who were fast asleep on a blanket. Not very long ago this park was so dangerous people rarely came here during the day. 

She looked at her things around her, and thought about what she would need to do if he didn’t come back tonight. She would take a taxi home and bring his stuff with her, hold onto it for him until he could come to her place to pick it up. It could be in two weeks, it could be tomorrow. 

This was going to be her life, forever. 

She pulled in deep breath and leaned her forehead on Marlow’s neck.

“Okay,” she said to herself. “Okay.” 

About twenty minutes after Jason left, Marlow looked up and to the side. She followed his sight line and she saw Jason returning through the crowd. He dropped something into the trash can with such a casual air it took a few moments for her to recognise it as a disassembled pistol. Nobody else noticed him at all.

He stretched out on the blanket behind her and gently pulled her back against him, his hands around her waist. He returned her scarf, wrapping it loosely around her neck. The knuckles of his right hand were grazed. He drew no attention to it, acting for all the world as though nothing had happened and nothing was ever going to happen. He definitely hadn’t just disarmed whatever dangerous hooligan had been planning to do something terrible. 

She loved this man so much it hurt.

“What’d I miss?” he said in her ear.

“Not much.” She leaned back against him. “But I’m starting to think this Benedick guy doesn’t actually dislike Beatrice after all.” 

He snorted a laugh. They settled in for the long haul.

Next>>

[ilynemesis]

i thought of bakugo coming home to see you playing fortnite only to discover you bought his skin and you're making him do the most ridiculous dances and he can't help but be jealous at how much you're smiling over the digital version of him. just a lil silly idea

[11:00]

Bakugo could finally come home after a long day of patrolling the city; he was tired, sore, and in a grumpy mood. The only thing he was looking forward to was getting home to his warm apartment and his amazing girlfriend. After removing his hero costume and putting on his regular clothes he decided to finally head home.

Passing by a bakery he noticed one of it's clerks outside with a plastic bag full of croissants. "Sir, would you get these off my hands? There's only a few minutes left until we close and i'll feel bad for throwing them away." they ask with a smile. He starts to decline until he remembers how you practically melt every time you pass by bakeries and that you love baked goods. "Yes, thank you." he says, grabbing the bag.

He finally reaches the shared apartment and unlocks the door, immediately hearing loud laughter. A confused expression creeps on his face and walks into the living room where he finds you sitting on the floor playing fortnite on his playstation. He looks up to see his own character in the game doing the chicken dance. You're still balling your eyes out in laughter, and thats when he clears his throat making you turn your head back.

"Katsu! I didn't know you were home yet," you say with a faint smile. He walks over and sits on the couch, "Guess you were a bit to occupied huh?" You start laughing from the thought of him doing the chicken dance.

"Why you smilin' so hard over a digital version of me?" he asks and lets out a huff. You stare at him and notice an annoyed expression on his face and that's when you realize, "Katsuki... don't tell me your jealous over me laughing at a digital version of you," you say.

He lets out a fake laugh, "No, I should be the one makin' you all smiley and happy, not a game." You sit on the couch with him and lean your head on his shoulder making him look down at you. "Just looking at you makes me laugh, Bakugo."

"Was that an insult woman?!" he asks with his brows furrowed. You let out a small chuckle and reassure him, "No, it means that you'll always be the one to make me smile, you or your digital self." He calms down and slightly grins, "I know. What kind of a man would I be to not make my woman happy."

You roll your eyes and playfully hit him on his arm, earning a fake "ow" escape from his lips. You lock your eyes on his lips and lean forward, kissing him sweetly and you watch him melt into your arms. As you both pull away he grabs the plastic bag and hands it to you. You look into the bag and see loads of baked goods and pastries in it. Your eyes glow and you kiss Bakugo again, this time of gratitude.

[captaingeorge13]

jean being obsessed with her stolen magic chickens is taking me out, girl PUT THOSE AWAY. i would trust her with my life however.

the reveal that marisha’s costume is meant to portray a 55 year old woman was like a slap to the face, I THOUGHT SHE WAS LIKE 70?! i guess back then you started looking dead in you late 20s though, so yeah. auntie bea has been through some shit. also her description is just “criminal” which is also very funny to me

nathaniel being teased by his soldier boys for owning the train station is cute as hell, i wanted him to try telling the monster it was trespassing, just once

also watching a ship be born from the words “i have no one to go home to” being said by two best friends/traumatized ex soldiers is like watching a car accident happen but in a good way. sean and marion, i hope neither of you dies and i hope you kiss.