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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!
and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!
#my dc posting#dc#robin#batman#like. if you want to tell a story and not worry abt the child endangerement thing just DONT BRING IT UP ???#all you're doing when you bring it up is telling me this is something i'm allowed to think abt when it comes to the story#and then you tell me Um Actually It's Fine ?? no! what the fuck are you talking about!!#i am tryinggggg to just have fun n read fics your lil “isnt that child endangerement and kinda fucked up?” “no actually they wouldve done i#anyways bla bla bla batman couldnt have stopped them bla bla bla''#is COUNTERPRODUCTIVEEE#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#<- tagging the robins sorry#sorry this just. this topic annoys me so much#...also ''batman couldnt have stopped them/they wouldve done it with or without him'' are literally#just factually incorrect in jason's case. he did not in fact start on his own and the only thing batman wouldve#needed to do to stop him is literally just NOT make him robin BUT- at this point im just beating a dead horse on that topic#w how many times i bring it up lmao#like. in real life you cant just knock a person unconscious for hours with no consequences on them.#but i dont care when it happens in fiction despite being not realistic!! bc its fiction!!!#unless of course the characters out of nowhere do a lil sidequest PSA abt how actually doing that is fine#and completely safe with no risks#yknow??#like if that happened id be annoyed and like no its fucking not fine why are you trying to convince me. just move on and dont bring it up#and I wont bring it up#anyway. yeah these are just some thoughts im having rn sorry its not more coherent and put-together i cant be assed rn lmao
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There is definitely no doubt in my mind that she has a significant amount of GSD in her blood.
#she trusts me enough to slip a collar on her and she'll wear it#but despite having gotten her some kong toys and a bone to chew after she ripped a hole in a stuffed toy i bought her...#...she still prefers chewing on things like...#the side of her crate (i stopped her from doing and she hasn't tried again) which is not an issue of her not liking the crate#we gave her a blanket and now that's her sanctuary#she prefers being in it to being out and about once she realized it's better than hiding in corners#she lets me pet her without flinching. she's even approached me#i tried putting her collar on her because she's a flight risk#so i've been letting her onto the deck with the training lead attached because she's fine with that rather than the normal leash#she's fine with me attaching the collar and leash and she didn't seem to be agitated by it at all. and yet...#she somehow. and i do not know How. grabbed ahold of the clasp on her collar and CHEWED IT OPEN??? AND KEPT DESTROYING IT FOR GOOD MEASURE?#girlfriend i'm not even angry i'm just confused#H O W#it wasn't super tight but it was not loose at all. definitely not enough for her to hook her jaw under it???#i'm lucky i bought a backup collar for training purposes#untrained shepherds are notoriously destructive so i can't be surprised#i'm just. fascinated. amazed. in awe. none of my animals are normal in any way and she certainly wasn't going to be the exception lol#muttnik
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Not an Aro-culture-is thing but I do have a question you might be able to answer? Is there an aromantic/asexual term for this: AroAce but if I wasn’t I would be gay? It might just be homoplatonic or homoaesthetic but idk if there was a term for it that relates to being AroAce. Thanks! <3
possibly you might vibe with oriented aroace labels, like gay aroace? i'll put this out there for other folks to consider as well, but I feel like oriented terminology sounds the most applicable from my POV.
#und3rw0r1d-unkn0wn#not aro culture#aro#aromantic#actually aro#actually aromantic#ask#mod axel#sorry we've vanished. we are Fuckin Unwell physically + emotionally tbh#also if the medical industry + the medical insurance industry could Please consider working that would be great#also if canada could pls not be on fire. don't have the spoons to research what's going on but i suspect there's the usual human fuckery#the air quality here is miserable for an area that doesn't really tend to get wildfires#(though fun fact! my fuckin grandpa almost managed to start one by having angry-style dementia and insisting it was fine that he burned log#and then dumped the ashes literally into some fuckin forest undergrowth WITHOUT TELLING PPL until it started smoking the next day.#the area was under a burn ordinance [aka burning shit is illegal due to fire risk])#fun fact: you are not immune to thinking it will never happen to *you* in what is truly a game of chance#yes you might be *more cautious* than the average person. means fuck all when the conditions are perfect for any small thing to cause#big shit#... yeah i'll leave that as a tag for me to be confused by later
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there’s likely a high chance that linebeck has left people to die on purpose
#like. as in saw someone getting attacked by (sea)monsters and decided it wasnt his problem#thought brought on by wondering how canon linebeck would feel abt murder#linebeck#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#like he admits to you. mostly of his own volition. that he was 100% going to leave jolene with that monster when he first ran into her#like he fucking tells you he was going to just fuck off and that him helping her out was a complete accident#he has 100% ran into some crew getting fucking mauled by some sea monster and just. left. not his buisness#not like theres much he could do without risking damage to his ship but like#i dont even think thatd weigh on his conscience i dont think hed give a shit#just be like whew. me and my ship are fine thats a good days work#anyways post ph link argues him into actually heading over to help ppl they find getting attacked#difference being that he has a canon n a link. the amount of fucks he gives for the sake of the hypothetical crew under attack is unchanged
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2025 is gonna be a really good year but only if i get my paperfeel screen protector within two weeks. otherwise i’ll explode forever and die
#I WANNA DRAAAAW#i CAN draw and it’s fine but the titanium pen nibs i got feel crazy nice but without a protector they risk scratching tha screen#arambles
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How is Ximena's relationship with the Zaun Family?? (Yes, im including Ekko too ❤)
I've rambled about Ximena's relationship with Vander and Silco previously:
Silco's thoughts on her
More details about how she met them specifically
For most of them she's the second favorite in-law (after Benzo). Except for Silco where she is the favorite in-law (look they'd all have to be like Cassandra for him to let Benzo have the top spot this is about being petty).
She gets along best with Vander, because I think in a lot of ways he reminds her of her husband (who was a blacksmith and Vander is typically on his best behavior when around her) and so she knows how to approach him. The others she's a bit more unsure about but she doesn't look down her nose at them and is trying to be polite. You can just see it on her face that she has no idea what this kid is very excitedly explaining to her as she nods and goes along with it. But she raised Jayce who was also a bundle of excitement and things she doesn't understand so you know this doesn't feel unusual to her.
I guess a very standard in-law relationship. They're not buddy-buddy but they'll have lunch together if they run into each other in the street or they're all at a Piltover Social Event that didn't include food. She knows all of Viktor's younger siblings names and can recognize them at a distance but sometimes will get their interests mixed up.
#Arcane#Zaun Family#Ximena Talis#Ramblings of the Goddess#Q and A with the Goddess#Anon question#During the Noxian Occupation she ends up in the Undercity with Jayce#(you know so she doesn't end up a political prisoner)#and it goes without saying she'll also be staying with the family#Claggor go put fresh sheets on your bed you can sleep in Mylo's room#he's still got the bunk bed in there#we'll let Ximena have your room#meanwhile when Caitlyn shows up with her parents#there is like a whole family meeting to discuss#whether they can just let them find their own place to stay#that is not with them#or if the risk of getting a Piltover Council Member assassinated too great#And okay fine they can stay#they'll find a mattress somewhere and they can sleep on the floor#in the living room or something
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The game: Lucanis is abusing caffeine to deprive himself of sleep because he's terrified of Spite taking control and this is negatively impacting his entire life
Everyone and especially his writer: Omg silly coffee boy he loves coffee so much look at him get offended at how bad this coffee Neve makes is
#girlbob.txt#da4#like between them neve has the more quirky addiction coded type thing#you know there'd be like 6 half drank monster cans scattered around her office if she was in a modern au#meanwhile lucanis should be like 'i'm fine rook we were taught to go days without sleep as part of crow training'#'sleep was when we were at greatest risk of another child murdering us to ascend the ranking. naturally.'
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There’s truly no joy like a northern mix in snow up to their chest
I wanted to stay on the already trampled path around the meadow perimeter, Kal said we had to go through the middle so he could look for bunnies
#i ended up doing over a mile in snow up to (and sometimes above) my knees :’)#because i dropped my phone in the snow after taking videos of kal and didnt notice until we were back on the sidewalk :’)#then when i trecked back with a flashlight and my watch i found out i couldnt ping it without wifi#so i had to go back AGAIN to get zuzu so he could make a hotspot and we brought a shovel in case we had to do a grid search#thankfully the battery held on JUST long enougj to ping it#which was good bc it was a solid 40ft from where i assumed it fell out of my pocket so we wouldntve found it till spring#and it still works perfectly fine :D yippeeee#battery life might end up being a bit shot from the cold but so far it seems to be holding up fine#kaladin puppy#.txt#also kal is leashed here#his long line is actually a camping tie out cable (bc he snapped the metal on his regular long line) so its hard to see#kal is probably never going to be an off leash dog#because as much as i know he loves me. he would absolutely just take off to explore and he has the borzoi ‘wtf is a car’ gene#in theory he is trained with multiple recalls#in practice he is not. or at least not enough that id ever risk losing him
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Always rejecting intimacy <<|?? (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#DAX#At least it's fairly well-earned this time - ZEX is being irresponsible and DAX loves to correct him on that front#For the record - ZEX is now immunized against catching hanahaki again#At least until his affections turn elsewhere lol but considering how infatuated he is with the Captain ♥#And even then he wouldn't be at risk of catching DAX's strain because it's self-inflicted! Yaayyy#But they don't know that! ZEX is putting an awful lot on the line for the possibility of playing test subject for DAX's sake#Very interesting how much he's willing to gamble to see his Sub-Commander well hm ♪#ZEX's selfishness is probably one of my favourite points about him - if he had the hard data to back up that he'd get DAX's strain hmmm#I wonder if he'd be quite so willing to be reinfected - but :) His own experiences - his self-centered viewpoint and confidence and pride#He was fine last time! Surely nothing bad would happen to him! He'd be fine this time too!#That vagueity gives him space to play in#And he's still acting selfishly here as well! Trying to take matters into his own arms without considering DAX's feelings!#Ahh <3 I love him ♥#He's also not particularly partial to DAX trying to protect him when /he's/ the one trying to protect DAX!#Their little mismatches in trying to do right by each other and stopped by the other haha <3#Poor DAX lost his breath just from pushing ZEX away wehh#Usually so strong! Physically even more than ZEX! Though ZEX is more clever hehe <3#But now with the roots in his lungs he can't even push him away fully#Gah what a lovely metaphor <3
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found out the ivy my sister got me fits perfectly in the snail pot and. oh my god? oh my god.
#rams garden adventures#ITS SO CUTE.....#its not re-potted yet btw!! just in the pot it was bought in :) it just fits so well#its still getting used to being here! re-potting it so soon risks shock#thankfully its not rootbound!! its roots aren't even poking out the bottom of the pot yet so it'll be perfectly fine to stay for a while :)#the outside pot was nice too i just wanted to see what this looked like since its going in this pot later. its staying here i think#plain white pot or adorable snail pot....hmm. tough choice (sarcasm)#(its in a garden pot but had a decorative outside pot without a drainage hole. its common)#this ivy is so pretty i love it so much... i've been wanting one for a bit :3 i'm so happy#the ferns been doing okay so i think i can care for an ivy too!! they're not known to be too hard‚ they just like being wet like ferns#though some ferns are. difficult to care for. to say the least#''ouugh i don't like the ph of the air i think i shall die'' <- maidenhair simulator (sarcasm)#its with the succulents for now cause i didn't have room on the table when i got it and just haven't moved it. /shrug#re-painting the snails mouth was interesting for sure. i hope it stays cause i didn't seal it lol
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I GENUINELY wish I understood the appeal of Taylor Swift I really really do. many of my friends do. but it's just. I don't think a single one of her songs has ever landed above 'ok' or 'nostalgically cheesy' for me and every time I think that I feel so incredibly like I'm trying to be snobby but I'm not? it's not about not liking pop or not liking the cool thing I love pop I love cheese I just also like music that has some...I guess energy and danceability or specific and meaningful rage and I have found nothing to hook into in anything she's made. Antihero nearly works for me. Blank Space works conceptually but not in practise. but other than that the last thing she made that did anything for me even as a throwaway pop song was. god it actually might be We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together or 22 which at least are catchy but I can't say ever made it to my playlists.
I want to get it, I genuinely do. I have listened to most of her releases at least once because I keep thinking if I try hard enough something will open up for me but nah however hard I try it's just extremely mid. like yes that certainly is music. I can immediately recognise it as Taylor Swift, it's not like it's utterly generic, but it absolutely just registers to me as background music. I want so much to understand what it is about her that makes her the biggest person in music for like 15 years now.
(I could say the same about Beyoncé who if anything lands worse for me. Break My Soul owns, but other than that I have landed everything I've heard of hers since like 2008 firmly in the Do Not Relisten pile it just lands like a ton of loose sand for me. and this is not mentioning the actual crime against music that was Jolene bc I don't think that worked for most people tbf. and again it's not that I don't like pop or r&b or rap cause that's like. between those genres about a third of the music I listen to. but her work is just so unengaging to me personally and I don't know why and I wish I got it)
#red said#~oh you just don't like things that are popular~ i LIKE liking things that are popular!#i like lizzo! i love lil nas x! i think billie eilish is amazing! i think I'm too old for olivia rodrigo but i get the appeal!#i think with taylor and possibly also beyonce though there's like a level of calculated pose that makes their music feel like work#like it doesn't. to me. feel like it connects because it feels like a product put together as a marketing persona#and not in a fun way like Katy Perry used to but like. Taylor Swift's music is extremely thought through. even the missteps.#and musically it feels really uninteresting and emotionally it feels like the IDEA of emotional relatability not any kind of insight#it's very middle of the road to me. even when it's taking risks it's not taking risks.#and tbf if i was gonna guess at why she's as popular as she is I'd say it's that. it's sustainable and marketable and well planned.#like Montero was a fucking phenomenal album because it was incredibly honest and creative. but tbh has Lil Nas X had the same impact since?#no not really bc he put EVERYTHING into that album and now tbh he's putting out new music that's fine but not earthshattering#whereas Taylor definitely knows how to market herself and how to change her brand incrementally without having to get more vulnerable#but like. her whole thing is kind of as a confessional singer songwriter vibe. which needs vulnerability and messiness#and to me it always sounds very very managed and very defensive and that is. flat.
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constantly gaslighting myself into believing that my chronic migraines aren't even that bad. until i get one again and it's actively the worst experience of my life.
#repeat the cycle etc etc#like yeah i spend at least 4 hours of most days sitting in a dark room with the only source of light being my yellow-screen computer#having to ignore the ringing in my ears + the throbbing in my temples. barely being able to get up without my vision spinning#not being able to handle an ounce of auditory stimulation. or the pressure of my noise-cancelling headphones on my head#feeling sick and running a borderline temperature that. does not feel anywhere under 38 degrees. whilst simultaneously shivering#can't even take anything but over the counter painkillers for them because my neurologist considers me 'at-risk'#blehk#but its not even 'that bad' right???#it's fine though im coming down off this one. i can listen to music without actively wanting to gouge my eyeballs out with my fingers#chronic illness#?#gothihop speaks
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Went to queue 1 hour before doors for tonight's gig and got 4th row with a perfect view btw
#you don't need to go queue at 4 am like some ppl had done today#ESPECIALLY now that its fucking freezing outside#its fine you'll get a good spot without risking your health#apparently there was a lot of queue drama today and we were further back like “wow that's crazy. anyway”
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ppl will go “i’d notice if society was going to sacrifice a marginalised group of people and if they said that it’s ok that a bunch of people would die then i would stand against it” and then they’ll hear people saying “well only disabled and vulnerable people will die of covid” and go “yes this is normal and ok and fine”
#first of all it’s not only disabled people who are dying and also covid can disable you real quick and make you part of that group that#people are fine with dying#but also do y’all hear yourself bed sometimes. the amount of people who claim to be allies but with throw others aside as soon as it#interferes with their comfort#also there have been so many studies and reports and articles on how covid disproportionally affects poc. not to mention inequalities in#healthcare that come into play too when you’re dealing with a pandemic#but as soon as y’all have to stop going to parties or restaurants or isolating for two weeks when exposed or confirmed positive or even if#you suspect you have it. or any of the millions of other things that at this point are important facets of community care and protecting#yourself and others from a disease that has been proven and continues to be proven to do a lot of damage to the body#y’all just balk. you don’t drop your claims but that doesn’t mean you’ve dropped your allyship#I’d love to go back to normal. i’d love to go out without a mask and eat in restaurants and do all the things i did before covid#but i won’t. because i know that isn’t safe for me or my friends/family/community and also quite literally isn’t possible now because we’re#still in a pandemic. if you claim to be an ally to disabled people then prove it and mask#I can’t speak as fully on allyship to other communities who are disproportionately impacted but not masking harms everyone and if anyone#does want to speak on allyship to their communit(y/ies) feel free to go ahead#covid tw#fired up about this because i’m doing radioactive iodine treatment in a few weeks and my mother is taking no precautions. not only am i at#risk if i catch covid but if she gets sick i either have to postpone my treatment to care for her (which risks giving my cancer more time to#metastasise if there are cells left) or i have to figure out another plan for treatment since my current plan hinges on her help since i#have to isolate#im just tired and frustrated. a pandemic doesn’t stop just because you get bored#vent tw#this is not as eloquent as i wish it was and the lack of punctuation and tone can make parts confusing but i think y’all get my point
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finally got brave enough to post a corishtola pose i did today and tumblr keeps hiding it. so nvm then!
#it's okay it was a risk anyone but i dont want to post the one it will let through without the other. rip a waste of my day but its fine!#i need a text post tag
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