#so i had to go back AGAIN to get zuzu so he could make a hotspot and we brought a shovel in case we had to do a grid search

[candlewitches]

There’s truly no joy like a northern mix in snow up to their chest

I wanted to stay on the already trampled path around the meadow perimeter, Kal said we had to go through the middle so he could look for bunnies

[deepestnightcolor]

☾ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɢᴜʏ ☽

ᴀ/ɴ: HERE I AM WITH ANOTHER SAM SMUT! I seriously don't know what happened here, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. Just a small disclaimer: don't go around hitting people, kids. Use your big words for big emotions!

Thank you for your time and all your love!~

PS: bonus points to whoever finds the tiny easter egg.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x afab!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 4045 words.

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: weird, drunk guy hitting on the reader. Sam getting protective and physical. Guard dog Sammy. Mentions of blood, the taste of blood, and bruises.

Cowgirl position, making love bites, dirty talk, cream pie, Sam is a little obsessed in his fuck-drunken mind, cock-piercing, pierced tongue.

Believing in Sam had always come naturally to you. The moment he showed you his guitar and the way he could handle it, you knew he had potential. That is why you never minded coming to his band practice; you enjoyed cheering him on, giving his cheek a kiss after each session and smiling at him, praising him in a gentle voice.

Sam loved having you as an audience. Everything about you made him want to be better. He taught himself your favourite songs, just so he was able to see your face light up when you recognized the melody. Sharing his passion with you was easier for him than with anyone else. At first, he had thought your personality was the reason for that, but when you kissed his cheek after one of his practices and the first thing he had felt was the wish that you would kiss his lips instead, he began to consider that there perhaps was more than just the trust he showed you.

After all, whenever Sam had doubts, he would come to you.

Whenever he didn’t know what to play, he would come to you.

Whenever he felt like he had to show someone a new song he taught himself, he would come to you.

That is why no one was surprised that he would come to you once his band had landed its first gig in Zuzu City. Blue eyes glistening with excitement, his whole body trembling while he tried to refrain from jumping up and down as he relayed the news. You laughed with him, hugging the blond tightly to your chest. “I knew it was only a matter of time,” you told him. And he believed it.

That was also the reason you stood in front of a stage in Zuzu city, wearing your most adorable outfit you knew was one of Sam’s favourites, given the way his gaze lingered whenever you had it on. In fact, he had given you the expected reaction when you had stepped up to the bus; first squishing you to his toned chest, just to stare once you had pulled away. His voice had been hoarse as he complimented you, telling you that you were an absolute beauty tonight. You had smiled at him, your fingers running through your hair as you leaned towards his ear just to whisper some words that would spin around Sam’s head for the whole ride. “You look deliciously hot as well, Sammy.” 

Deliciously hot, huh? He had never heard you call anyone else like that. Did that mean something? That was entirely possible, wasn’t it?

The way you stared up at him while he was on stage definitely made him wonder. But he was not innocent, either, because he stared right back. Each song he announced, he announced for you. Each special solo was dedicated to you. Each look with hooded “fuck me”-eyes that seemingly danced over the crowd was dedicated to you. To Sam, this whole fucking show was for you. And you drank it all up.

In fact, you were enthralled enough you didn’t even notice the guy who pushed up to you as Sam thanked the crowd. All that mattered was Sam, and his voice whispering a good night to the crowd. His blue eyes landed on you again, and you took the chance to smile at him, blowing him a kiss.

“You alone here?” a voice next to you suddenly slurred over the noise of the crowd, which meant that its owner must have been incredibly close. You turned your head slowly, meeting a guy’s face. He seemed drunk already, and the grin he gave you certainly wasn’t one of good intentions. You cleared your throat and took a step back, scratching your neck. “No, no really.”

“Huh, that’s smart for a pretty girl like you.”

 You gave an awkward smile, not wanting to tempt the stranger into attempting any further conversation as you turned around, trying to make your way to the bar. You had exchanged two sentences, and you were already desperate to escape the situation.

You were able to make it to the bar and ordered a drink that you could down before finding Sam, when suddenly, a hand landed on your hip, using the leverage to spin you around. A gasp left your lips, your muscles tensing when you saw the drunken man again.

“Hey, I wasn’t done talking to you. Somebody should teach you manners.”

You grit your teeth, trying to squirm free of his grasp. His hands were sweaty and felt uncomfortable – disgusting - even through the fabric of your clothes.

You had never been in a situation like this, not in all the years you had lived in Zuzu. Your eyes trailed to the stage automatically, trying to make out the blond hair. Maybe he would catch your gaze and-

“I am talking to you,” the voice snarled, making your attention snap back to him. His hand was still on you, and you wanted to get it away from you.

“Fuck off,” you hissed, squirming again and finally being able to get rid of his hand.

“That is no way to talk to someone. Especially for a pretty girl like you. Maybe I should take you home and-“

“Didn’t you fucking hear? She told you to fuck off.” A familiar voice, a voice that felt safe.  Sam had emerged from the crowd, pushing past the guy to stand next to you.

“And who are you?”

“Her fucking boyfriend. Also telling you to fuck. Off.”

One of the blond’s arms was quick to snake around your waist, pulling you into his side with a quick tug. Again, a hand was on your hip, but this time you felt much more comfortable. Much better.

The happy glint that had been in his eyes while he was on stage had vanished and was replaced by something dark. Something you had never seen cloud those pretty blue eyes before. It almost seemed possessive.

The stranger cleared his throat, and for a moment, it seemed like he would retreat without any other word.

But then, everything went down fast.

“Fine. No one wants a cheap slut like you, anyways.” The drunk man hadn’t even finished spitting on the ground in front of his feet before a fist connected with his jaw. Sam, the man who played the SpongeBob theme song when bored and loved the minions had thrown the first punch, and a good one at that. The sheer power behind it made his opponent stumble backward, the blond using the opportunity to now step in front of you.

“Don’t. You. Call. Her. That!” he growled, his fist already lifted for the next hit. The guy, despite the level of alcohol that he probably had in his system, was fast, though. He shot back up and allowed his knuckles to meet Sam’s face, but his aim was off. His head knocked with a light cracking sound to the side. You let out a loud gasp, and desperately tugged on the man’s shirt, trying to get him away from your harasser. “Sam. Come on. Let’s go.”

But Sam had started something. And he would finish it. You were absolutely shocked as he aggressively shoved the guy, who now had blood on his knuckle. He used the distraction he had created to hit his face again, this time sending him to the ground with a grunting sound. Trying to defend himself while falling he scratched Sam, but it seemed the guitarist didn’t even mind. Instead, he straddled him and gripped him by the collar of his shirt, staring right into his eyes.

“Never. And I mean fucking never touch her again. I will find you. I will break your hands and shove them so far down your throat they will come out of your ass again.”

“Sam!” You cried, which finally got his attention. He let go of the shirt, dropping him in his own spit, giving the pathetic figure a snarl. Without another word, Sam gently took your wrist, leading you toward the backstage area where he had gotten ready. Once he finally turned around to settle you on one of the chairs, knelt down in front of you to make sure you were okay, you could see what the impact had done to him. His carefully styled hair was a mess; there were scratches on his cheek, and his pretty pink lips were busted open. You found it pretty unfair that he had just gotten into a fight and still looked hot. Maybe even hotter.

“Are you okay? What a disgusting-“

You couldn’t help but stare at his lips. They were so pretty. And he had gone all out just to protect you. You just had to kiss him, didn’t you?

You couldn’t resist anymore, your hands grabbed at the back of his neck and pulled him in. The blond winced at the sting when your lips collided, but by Yoba, did your hands feel good against the heated-up skin of his neck. He would have been stupid if he hadn’t kissed back; and who was he to deny your tongue entrance to his mouth, anyway?

It would have been a shame if he didn’t suck on your tongue like a desperate man, and fuck did your lips taste good.

Blood and saliva mixed together, but you didn’t seem to mind. In fact, you let your hands trace through his hair, giving a few blond strands a soft tug. Sam grunted, getting on his long legs without breaking the kiss, allowing himself to drop down on the sofa while pulling you towards him. You took the chance and straddled him, only pulling away to kiss down his jawline.

“You know how long I have wanted to kiss you?” The guitarist murmured, allowing his head to dip to the side to give you more access. “Ever since you first played that stupid song to annoy Sebastian and Abigail,” you answered bluntly, kissing down his neck. You knew Sam’s face would bruise up tomorrow, so what were a few more? You wanted this fucking man.

Fangs sinking in the flesh of his neck, you sucked on the newfound redness, shiver running down your spine when you heard the deep groan rumble through his chest. Feeling you react to the sound he made gave him a sudden boost of confidence, large hands trailing down your back just to grip the flesh of your ass with both of his hands. He gave it a good squeeze, not being able to help himself but moan. You felt so good already, and you weren’t even undressed.Yet.

“Sam…I…Fuck, I want you.”

That certainly was an understatement by now. You needed Sam. Given the pulsing you felt beneath you, you were pretty sure you would get what you needed, though.

His fingers were now clawing at your butt as he pulled you in closer, his busted lips smashing into yours again. This time he didn’t even flinch at the feeling; this time he was nothing short of greedy. Shoving his tongue past your pearly whites, he explored your mouth, trying to get to taste more of you. You moaned for him when he sucked on your tongue again, his piercing rubbing against the muscle. The heat that had begun pooling between your legs made you shift around his lap, only to be rewarded by the blond bucking up his hips in an attempt to chase the feeling. Both of you moaned into one another’s mouths, and you were sure you had never craved something this much in life. Sam’s hands had left your butt now, fingers working on unbuttoning your pants. His fingers were skilled, so the small button keeping the shorts together definitely wasn’t much of an obstacle. In fact, you could feel his fingers toying with the waistband of your panties faster than you could blink. Not that you minded. Quite the opposite; while still enjoying Sam’s tongue dominating yours, you lifted your hips so he could pull down the fabric that separated his slender fingers from your heat.

“That’s a good girl,” Sam cooed in your mouth, making you moan quietly. How could a man have you so wrapped around his finger without even touching your pussy yet?

That quickly changed when the calloused pad of his index finger found your clit, gently nudging the hardening bundle of nerves. “So wet for me already, aren’t you?”

You nodded, your brain not able to produce words that would even come close to explaining that he would be able to make you just as wet by only getting naked.

Your hips rutted against his finger, and in turn, his hardening cock. The blond sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, the need to get you naked and feel you against, scratch that, around his drooling dick growing in the pit of his stomach. But Sam, ever the gentleman, instead allowed his finger to slip through your folds, circling your needy little entrance with ease before dipping in just the tip.

Your reaction was immediate. You arched in your back and tried to press down your hips to coax him in a little more, but Sam, staring at you in absolute awe, removed his finger whenever you attempted. How could one person be so hot? How the hell could he have gone so long without touching you?

“Sam, please. Give me something,” you begged, licking your lips as you looked down at him. Sam, giving you a toothy grin, finally gave in and pushed a single finger inside of you, enjoying your lip being dragged in between your teeth to keep yourself from moaning his name out loud. His finger thrusted up inside of you, and just to give you a better idea of what was awaiting you he bucked up his hips.

The blond took his time, only adding a second finger after you begged him to, scissoring them within you to coax out more of the moans that sounded like music to his ear. He himself had to dig the nails of his other hand inside of the couch to ground himself enough as to not whimper and moan just from touching you. However, when your hands set into motion to remove your shirt and bra, allowing those fucking pretty tits to bounce free, it was game over. A low moan left his swollen lips as he stared at your chest, shamelessly ogling them. You could have sworn you saw his tongue loll out of his mouth, some drool dripping from the muscle, but a third finger stretching your drooling cunt distracted you.

“Sam, please. Can I ride you? Pretty please.”

He was dreaming, probably. Or he had smoked too much weed and was imagining this; how else could this be happening? But your hips rutting against his fingers that were coated in your slick were telling a different story. And even if all of this wasn’t real, he would enjoy it while it lasted.

“Sam? Please, baby. Please let me ride this cock…Fuck, you are so hard already. I can feel it through your pants…”

The whine that left you when he removed his fingers from you absolutely tore his heart into shreds, but he needed to free his dick. Otherwise, it would have ripped his pants apart, given that pretty begs that left your sweet mouth oh so easily.

He shifted you around in his lap, pulling down his pants and boxers just enough for his erection to spring free. The skin was hot, and you just had to gawk at him. Sam was big and girthy. And at that-

“You got your dick pierced?” You whispered, but it pretty much sounded like a whimpered moan. The blond grinned a little, tongue trailing over his teeth.

“Mhhhm…You like it?”

Fuck. You could have had an orgasm on the spot, by doing nothing else but imagining the pierced tip to bully into you.

Sam opened his mouth to tease you just a little more when he suddenly felt your fingers wrap around his shaft, guiding his drooling tip to your entrance. He was absolutely hypnotized, watching his tip kiss your sloppy hole and the way your thighs twitched. “Fuuuuck…” he breathed as you allowed the tip to enter you. You were insanely wet, and your cunt greeted him with another gush of juices.

The blond decided he could have died right then and there and his life would have been complete; that was at least what he thought until you pushed and pushed and pushed. He just couldn’t take his eyes away from his dick vanishing in your desperate pussy, centimetre by centimetre. His mouth was hanging open, and now you definitely could see his tongue hanging out, his chest heaving and falling quickly as the man who had fearlessly thrown punches before was now whimpering for you.

You yourself weren’t in much better shape.

The metal pushing against your wall the more you sat down on him; his sheer length splitting you open, it all had you a babbling mess. Telling him how good he felt, how big he was, how much you had wanted this. Sam’s hands were pawing at your hips, visibly straining himself from not just fucking into you, fucking everything he couldn’t say right up your cunt. But you needed a moment, he knew by the way your walls clung to him, the way you shifted around. You were so fucking precious, and he wanted you to know. His lips trailed along your neck, sucking onto your skin once he found your collarbones. His finger had taken its place on your clit again, flicking the bud gently as his blue eyes peered at you again. His eyes had the same look in them as they had before, just this time they were also filled with silent worship. This look alone gave you to strength to lift your hips, just to drop them down, allowing him to bottom out inside of you again. The two of you moaned in unison, and for some reason, you couldn’t imagine a life without this dick anymore.

Your hips rutted back and forth as your lips found Sam’s again, the kiss you shared desperate and wet. But neither of you cared as moans spilled from your connected lips. His pre-cum was mixing with your wetness, causing sloppy sounds whenever your walls completely wrapped around him. “You are so fucking pretty on my cock like this, baby. Does it feel good, huh? Like me filling you up? Like bein’ my good girl?”

You wanted to answer, you really did. But your open mouth only let moans of his name pass, so you resorted to a quick nod. You placed your hands on his arms, nails digging into the flesh as waves of pleasure hit you with every single movement of your hips.

“S…Sam,” you rambled, head thrown back. You started to full on bounce on his lap again, your tilted back position allowing him a full view of those jumping tits of yours. They were simply too hard to resist; his head dipped down and placed kisses all over the heated-up skin until his lips finally caught on of your nipples. He eagerly sucked on it, his hand carefully squeezing the other. Couldn’t let one of these pretty tits go without attention now, could he?

The breathless moan that entered his ears stimulated his brain in a way he couldn’t describe. Something feral was awoken within him; the events of the night flashing in front of his inner eye. You were his now, right? His pretty girl, and he needed to show you just that. His hips snapped up quite automatically, while his mouth switched to the other nipple. His finger was still massaging circles into your clit, making your vision go blurry.

Sam and you hadn’t ever done as much as hug, and still, he knew exactly how to touch you. Your nails this time found his chest through his shirt as you tried to keep up with the fast pace he had immediately picked up, your whole body bouncing with his tip bullying up into you whenever you sat down on him. His piercing was rubbing against your walls, massaging them just like they were sucking off his dick. You were pretty sure you had never been this wet before, and you were even more sure that Sam’s crotch was drenched by now.

Sam apparently tried to break you apart as his hips kept snapping up at a rough pace, neither caring about the droplets of wetness falling from your cunt, nor about the way he was whimpering and begging for you with his voice.

The sounds that his vocal chords produced became more high-pitched as his dick twitched and pulsed inside of you. His cock abused your cunt, and you were all for it. Honestly, you would have cried if he wasn’t fucking you like his name was written all over you.

Your orgasm was nearing, you could feel it tickling every nerve of your body, giving you the feeling you had to pull away. But he just felt so perfect. So right.

Trying to voice your nearing orgasm was definitely harder than you had expected. All that you could come up with was his name again. Your tongue felt heavy, like you were drunk. And in some way, you were. Drunk on his dick, his smell, the feeling of his tongue and mouth messing with your tits, him.

Sam didn’t feel much different. He could have sworn that he was about to burst at the seams. You felt heavenly, delicate, and yet like you needed to be pounded into oblivion. He just couldn’t get enough of your tits in his face, of the way you sounded. You were his favourite song now.

“Gonna cum, princess,” he breathed in the valley of your breasts, holding onto your waist to help you pick up your pace. You were sobbing his name as you felt your orgasm tearing at your insides. You wanted to warn him, you really did, but the cry that left you reached your tongue faster than any words – it was unholy. Lewd, and desperate, full of arousal as your orgasm made your body quake.

Your body was shaking on him, the release you felt paralyzing you, and yet it only turned Sam on more. His hips fucked into you ruthlessly, metal of his cock piercing bumping along you as his tip kissed your cervix.

“FUCK!” He snapped, teeth sinking into your tit as a violent orgasm made his cock twitch, spurts of cum painting your walls white.

But that wasn’t enough for Sam. He needed it deeper. He needed you to feel it on your way home. In bed. With heavy breathing, he put his feet on the couch and while holding you down, fucked up into you.

Strained sobs left your lips as your sensitive cunt was abused so mercilessly, but those whimpers that filled the room and came from those beautiful lips; they almost made you beg for more.

The blond only stopped when his hands on your waist began to shake, just like his legs. His thrusts became sloppy and less precise, hips stuttering and losing force until they completely halted. The two of you sat in silence, your head on his shoulder while his arms held you close and secure.

It took you several moments before you shared a silent gaze, your lips meeting in another kiss. This one was much slower, sweeter, even. You still could taste the blood on his tongue, and you still didn’t mind.

When you pulled away, you could see that Sam looked even more beaten now. The scratches had swollen just like his lips, and a bruise was starting to form on his jaw. His neck just looked as bad; love bites scattered all around the pale skin.

The blond’s hand reached out to gently tuck a strand of your hair back, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.

You gave a shy smile back, sighing slowly.

“You shouldn’t have fought with someone because of me.”

Sam snorted, shaking his head.

“For you? I’d happily get beat to smithereens.”

[k-zuzulibrary]

스트레이키즈

b.C, l.MH, k.SM, i.N 𖹭 gn!reader

my enemy.

synopsis: they eventually give in after years of hatred, rivalry, and built-up tension only to get caught by another member.

content: (seperate) bang chan, lee know, seungmin, i.n x gn!reader, enemies 2 what?, suggestive themes/smut 18+ (minors do not interact), making out, grinding, no genitalia or pronouns specified for the reader but you are the bottom and exhibit bottom behavior, sexual frustration, fingering/handjob in bang chan's, masturbation, penetration, bratty!reader, getting caught, mean dom!lee know, reader is called a 'pretty princess' in lee know's, hair pulling, edging, name calling in i.n's, traumatized skz witnesses, self explanatory, not proofread, lowercase intended.

zuzu's note: maybe this should be a series... i wrote them with a reader who can't get along with them (and vice versa) because... well, that's kind of how enemies work. part 2 here!

channie.

you never liked chan. he wasn't at your pace — too hard working, too selfless, too self deprecating. you were annoyed by the fact that he never took care of himself, and so you avoided him regardless of how you shared the same friend group. you didn't like surrounding yourself with "negative" people like him.

chan on the other hand, didn't like you because he thought you were a rude person — you wouldn't say please, you wouldn't say thank you, you actively ignored him/pretended you didn't hear him even when he spoke to you. he didn't care if you were nice to him, he just didn't like rude people.

it wasn't known that you two were enemies — it was unspoken between you and chan, and nobody in the group took notice because you never really talked, and so, when you two were the only ones left to watch over the dorm while the rest went back to family homes or their own secret affairs, what bang chan didn't expect was to hear small moans emerging from your bedroom late at night.

you knew he wouldn't be asleep at this time. he never slept. he was always working on something with his headphones on and you were feeling really sexually frustrated at the time. you assumed for sure he wouldn't be able to hear you if you struggled a bit, but unlike you expected, he heard every bit of it, and as much as he hated it, it turned him on more than he'd like to admit.

you weren't getting anywhere with your efforts, and when you heard a knock on your door it this time of night, it could only have been one person and that ruined your entire mood. "what?" you groaned. not getting your hand out of your pants because you knew chan wouldn't just walk in and you might as well have continued what you were doing the moment he would walk away from your room.

"...so, i'm trying to work on something, but your... noises aren't exactly helping me concentrate."

you blushed and immediately withdrew your hand, immediately sitting up. you didn't know how to respond and it was silent for a good few seconds.

"s-so i would appreciate it if you... um... i- i don't know, lowered it... a bit... thanks."

with that, you heard his footsteps fade away and retreat into his own dorm next to yours. you let out the large sigh you had been holding in and wondered how you would ever go back to sleep at this rate. or how you'd ever be able to masturbate in peace again.

you didn't know why, or where you even got the courage to, but you found yourself knocking on chan's door just moments after what happened. sure, you were embarrassed but you only had little of your dignity left and might as well have lost it all when he opened the door with a small crack and curiously looked at your nervous form.

"would it be alright if you... h-helped me?" you asked with a soft voice, bang chan stared at you, expression unwavering. to clarify, you stumbled over your next words. "i have been struggling lately, and—"

bang chan grabbed your wrist and dragged you into his room, slamming the door behind you.

"and what do i get in return?" bang chan asked, voice gruff as he stared deeply into your eyes.

"...my silence for the next few weeks?" you attempted to make a deal.

"so i'll have to do this every time you're frustrated? just so i can work?" he clarified.

"does it sound like something you wanna do?"

"i guess we'll have to see first."

bang chan gently led your form to his bed, slamming you down and pinning you against the soft mattress, his hand rubbing down at your croch. you didn't know why but something about hating him up until this very moment was what turned you on most. without any more words, bang chan put his hand down your pyjamas the same way you had tried all night and continued to pleasure you better than you ever could have. if he hated you so much, why was he so good at making you feel loved?

"f-fuck, i'm so close." you whimpered, gripping onto the sheets beneath you as bang chan picked up his pace.

"yeah? you getting there, baby?" his hand never got tired. "d'you wanna do this all night?" why did he seem to enjoy pleasuring you like you enjoyed being pleasured? the mere thought brought you so close to your climax. "i could go all night, baby." he whispered in your ear, and with that, you pathetically came into your pants and on chan's big, rough hand.

you slowly turned your face to look at him, "i could go for a round 2—"

"hey, chan, i decided to come back early-" you both turned to see lee know who nonchalantly walked into the room, eyes glued to his phone as he set his bag down on the ground. chan quickly withdrew his hand from your pants, wiping it on his shirt as he stood up and walked around the side of the room while you sat up on the mattress, fixing your hair and looking at the oh-so-interesting floor. lee know looked up from his phone.

"oh, hi, y/n. what are you doing here?"

you nervously exchanged glances with chan and gulped before you could shrug and form a lie—

"oh my g- you guys fucked." lee know deadpanned, pointing at you, then chan, then you. "disgusting." he turned around and left the room. "chan's room reeks of sex now. this is totally going in the gc."

know.

it was easy to hate lee know. the moment you met him, you hated him in all sorts of ways — bad first impression, started off on the wrong foot, rubbed you off in the wrong way, and many more. you wanted to rip his guts out along with his cocky smirk, condescending voice, and dark gaze whenever he would make fun of you or judge literally anything you'd do.

lee know hated you because you were too pretty. you were too golden — everyone treated you like a princess and he hated it, he didn't think you deserved it. not that he was jealous or anything, he just believed you weren't worth all the effort and love the members gave you and assumed you were spoiled. your screaming matches were not uncommon in the dorms and lee know would always leave you stressed and pissed off to the point where you wanted to move out and he loved pushing you to that edge.

which is the exact reason you didn't know why he was pounding into you so good on the living room couch, your begs, moans, and mewls filling the silence of the dark, empty room.

"fuck," lee know cursed under his breath as he picked up his pace, you were clenching around his fat cock so good and after just a few thrusts, he was already so close to reaching his climax. "why are you so quiet now, hm? did the cat get your tongue?" he leaned in closer to put a soft kiss on your lips, prying them open and gently biting your tongue. "hm?" he pulled away.

it's that condescending 'hm' again that gets you. what used to irritate you so much turned you on right now even more.

"hngg...n.. pl- please..." you whimpered. "please, let me cum," you silently begged, voice being interrupted with each harsh thrust lee know pushed into you, you were getting closer and closer to cumming and you just wanted lee know to let you.

"oh, you're begging? that's so unexpected of a spoiled brat who always gets what they want." lee know abruptly pulled out and roughly grabbed your hair, pushing your head into the couch. "but you're not getting it tonight, understand?"

before you could form another response, another weak plead, a form had walked into the room and turned on the bright lights. "WOAAAAH, WHAT THE FUCK?!" bang chan screeched, you and lee know looked over to see him covering his eyes. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, PEOPLE, GET A ROOM." he sobbed and left the room in a rush. lee know chuckled a bit before getting off of you, zipping up, and walking back to his dorm.

"i guess we'll pick this up another time."

minnie.

you fucking hated kim seungmin. he was the bane of your existence and making fun of you was the entertainment of his. tripping you, judging your every major life decision and move, and overall making your life a living hell. today, you were at the dorm to rant to changbin about your recent breakup, and seungmin just had to be in the same room, making his coffee and listening on the conversation.

"you need to focus on yourself," changbin advised with a soft voice, gently rubbing your back as you gripped your hair in frustration. "i need to use the toilet real quick, be back." he left the room.

"what was it about you that's so unlovable?" seungmin suddenly inquired as he walked in the room leaning on the doorframe as he stirred his coffee. "is it because you're an asshole? or because you suck overall?... wait... oh, shittt." seungmin covered his mouth, standing up straight. "are you just straight up awful in bed?"

"dude, do you ever just shut the fuck up?" you slammed your hand on the table.

"if you ever need help to learn how to be better in bed, just know i'm right here to-"

"seungmin, i swear, leave the room right now before anything else happens. i'm not in the mood."

"y/n, no joke, i fuck." he placed his cup down on the table and sat in front of you, cross legged. "c'mon, what do you need help with?"

"it's not the sex-" you paused and started to think about it. "i...is it?" you tilted your head.

"come on," seungmin gestured for you to come to him, and subconsciously you found yourself doing so, crawling closer until you were in his lap. "what is it you need help with?" he repeated the earlier question, only this time he was softer, sweeter. unlike the seungmin you always knew.

you were nervous, so you just shook your head.

"use your words, baby." he whispered.

just as you were gonna respond to him, you felt his boner against yourself and you couldn't form a coherent thought. "i- i..." your voice was breathy and you tried to pry yourself off of him out of your anxiety, but his grip kept you in place. "i don't know..." you managed to say.

"can i kiss you?" he asked.

you nodded your head, and he gently connected your lips together in a silent bliss before deepening the kiss, he pulled away to mumble, "i'm gonna teach you a few things tonight." before smashing your lips back together. why is such an asshole so good at kissing? the whole situation turned you on to a point where you felt a little guilty, but you started slowly grinding on seungmin's hard-on, letting out small moans into his mouth.

"okay, y/n—" changbin walked into the room. "woah- woah," he rushed over and dragged you away from seungmin. "Y/N! I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR TWO MINUTES AND YOU ALREADY TRY TO HOOK UP WITH YOUR ENEMY?!"

i.nnie

you and i.n constantly fought for the position of best maknae and it went from a harmless fight for the love of your seniors to a personal vendetta against one another. you would bicker over the pettiest stuff like getting the last of the juice or who gets to use the tv remote, but each argument would last from hours to days or even weeks before you find a new thing to be petty about and fight over.

today, what you were fighting over was different. the topic went from "who was the better kisser?" to "who was the best at having sex?"

"why? i've had many people tell me that i 'rock their world.' it's equal pleasure for both parties when i'm there, they don't have to fake it just as i don't." you argued.

"so what? words are words." i.n nonchalantly shrugged and disregarded your argument. "i bet you i can fake cumming if i fucked you." he blurted out.

"really? wanna bet?" you smirked, taking a step toward him. you could see him nervously gulp his saliva.

and that's how you ended up in his bed, with you sitting down on his fully hard cock. "shit." i.n whimpered. "i- i didn't know a- a slut like you could be so tight..." he held back his groan.

"awh... are you gonna cum already? i thought you could fake it..." you taunted as you bounced once on his dick.

"w-wait!" i.n leaned forward and grabbed your hips in place, looking down in between you and how you connected. "j-just wait." he whispered. you looked into each other's eyes for a moment before he used his strength to pull you off of him, he flipped you over and pushed his dick back inside you. "i wanna fuck you."

"hey— that wasn't the deal, i was supposed to be the one who-" i.n put his hand over your mouth and began pounding into you relentlessly, you wanted to interject but it felt too good.

"just tap me twice if you don't like it." he whispered and kept his hand over your mouth before slipping three of his fingers inside and playing with your tongue and saliva. the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the quiet room, i.n went faster and faster thrusting inside you. you whimpered against his fingers and he did his best to keep his moans quiet, only letting out occassional sighs and groans.

you could feel your high approaching and you could tell i.n was also reaching his with how his pace became inconsistent and a bit jittery. "sh...shit..." he whimpered as he came into you, and you were about to reach your climax as well when the door abruptly slammed open, causing i.n to stop his movement and you both snapped your heads toward the man standing in the frame — fucking seungmin.

"yo, hey, hEy, hEY, HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOiNG?!" his voice cracked as he processed the sight before him, pointing at the two of you i.n leaned over and grabbed a pillow next to your head.

"GET OUT!" he yelled, reaching for the sheets to cover you up.

"GET OFF OF EACH OTHER FIRST!" seungmin made no effort in covering his eyes (for his or your sake) or lowering his voice as he stared, wide-eyed at the sight.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆.˚

main masterlist.

©️ 2025 k-zuzulibrary All Rights Reserved.

[darlingshane]

do-over

Michael Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: Thanks to your friend Claire you get a chance to rectify a mistake you did many years ago when you went out with Michael the first time around.

CW: 18+, smut, some angst, making out, vaginal sex, smoking, drinking, Michael is a recovering addict, talk about addiction, reader has a secret, old friends, confessions, scars, pet names, brief appearances of Carmy, Richie and Claire.

Word Count: 6,2k

A/N: I realized after writing this that I made Michael younger by saying reader was friends with Claire, and implied that they were all close in age, but it's all really vague. The timelines don't make sense in The Bear anyway, so don't look too closely. This was just for fun. -- Also, reader has a nickname. Don't ask me why, it just came out like that. They simply call her Zu or Zuzu.

— Links: AO3 // Michael Masterlist.

“You remember Mikey and Richie, right?” your friend Claire asks, pointing at the two guys coming into the backyard with Carmy to join the party.

“Hm. I think so,” you say casually before taking a long sip of your glass.

You do remember both, actually.

Michael especially.

It’s hard to forget one of the most embarrassing nights of your life. It was over a decade ago when you had the slim chance to make out with the guy you’ve had a crush on for years and only accomplished to make a fool out of yourself.

It’ll forever haunt you.

Michael finally asked you out at the end of your senior year, and you said yes. You went to a movie, got some food afterward, then you ended at a house party from one of his friends. Everything was going great, you were dancing and laughing, he got close, you got closer. You started kissing and then ended up in one of the rooms. Door closed. That was it. It was only you and him making out and everything was going perfect. It seemed like a dream to find that he wanted you almost as much as you wanted him. Perhaps he wasn’t into you as you were, but it was hard to think critically at that moment with his hands and lips all over you.

Now, you had fooled around before with the only guy you ever dated in high-school, but you never went all the way or ever touched you like Michael’s hands did. And given your inexperience in the field, only a few minutes of heavy petting, and you were ready to explode. There was a surge awakening something in your core that you weren’t too familiar with. Not even your own fingers ever managed to make you feel something that powerful. And when he started pressing himself between your legs that pressure building between your thighs decided to set itself free. All of a sudden, you were clutching your knees so hard to his hips, your whole body trembled underneath as you came in your panties.

You’ve heard about boys precociously coming more often than not, but never realized that was something that could happen to girls too. It made you feel nothing but pure embarrassment. You tried to hide it but all the magic was gone. And after that, you excused yourself to the bathroom to put yourself together and couldn’t handle going back to face him. So, you sneaked out the bathroom window like the biggest dork.

You never talked to him again after that.

Back then, you all ran in the same circles, but you stood away from those circles during the last couple of weeks of school to avoid running into him again. You saw him from afar a couple of times and that was it. Soon after, everyone went on separate ways for work, college or wherever they end up. You, for example, left Chicago after graduating and ended up living a good chunk of those years in Denver. The few times you’ve come to your home city, you never really tried to see him again. You ran into Natalie a handful of times, and saw Carmy when you were visiting Claire but never crossed paths directly with Michael again until today.

“Zu… you and I both know that you do remember him,” Claire nudges your elbow. “Don’t tell me you still wouldn’t hit that today if you could. And you’re single now, so…”

“Please, tell me you didn’t set this up.”

She doesn't deny it, just gives you that obvious look under her framing, evil, perfect eyebrows. Claire knew pretty well you were head over heels for Michael Berzatto once upon a time, but you never told her about that night. It’s probably safe to say he didn’t tell anyone about it either. Otherwise, you’d have heard about it by now. Someone would’ve teased you about it for sure, but no one ever did.

It really takes you aback to see him once more.

You wish she’d have given you the heads-up so you could prepare mentally to see him again. Though, it was a long time ago, you’ve often looked with regret at leaving him hanging. You’ve wondered way too many times what he thought about that night. It's not like he was infatuated with you, as far as you know. He never showed any interest before that week, so it's hard to imagine him being too heartbroken about it.

Carmy glances around looking for the two of you. Claire lifts her arm to call his attention.

“Oh, look, here's your chance.” Your friend teases you as they come closer.

“Cool it, C, please?” you say between teeth and throw back your cup before the three of them come to a stop in front of you.

She beams as Carmy quietly greets you with a one arm short hug.

“You made it! Thought you'd be too cool for a thing like this.”

“Nope, we're two fucking losers showing up at a kegger cause we got nothing better to do,” Richie chuckles. “What are we celebrating again?”

“We're not celebrating anything. We're here for moral support for Kerry. Her boyfriend just broke up with her, and she needed some people around.”

“And you thought that throwing a keg party was a good idea?” Michael finally opens his mouth and his voice just transports you back to that unforgettable night and that last thing he said to you…

You smell so fucking good.

It echoes in your head. It's printed on your skin how those words vibrated when he was tongue-deep devouring your neck.

It’s hard to keep your eyes off Michael. He still has that alluring presence that mesmerized you the first time you met him. Even more so, you'd say. His features are sharper, his stubbled jaw makes him look more rugged than you remember. Though you miss his mop of curls, the crew cut and the fade on his nape suits him really well. His outfit hasn't changed much from a casual t-shirt with jeans. You take in every detail in a once-over. Your stare lingers for a moment on the way the hem of his short sleeves hugging tightly his toned biceps, and how his veins draw the length of his arms. His shoulders seem broader in his relaxed stance. There's a tiny scar adoring his cupid's bow that you only see when he runs his tongue across his lips.

You have to make an effort to tear your eyes away from him before turning into a total creep.

“You guys remember Zuzu here, from school?” Claire's head tilts in your direction while the younger Berzatto links an arm around her waist.

“You two were practically inseparable, how could anyone forget?” Says Richie again, offering his hand up to you. “It's good to see you again, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, it's good to be back,” you shake his hand firmly and then hold it up to Michael, and try to keep your pulse steady when he wraps his large paw around yours.

“You've moved back?” it's Michael that asks this time, trying to lock eyes with you, but you refuse to let him.

“I'm in the process of it. I'm staying with Claire for a couple of weeks while I get all my stuff back, and set up everything…”

You explain while Carmy fetches three cups from the table. He fills them using the keg’s tap, and brings them over. He hands one to Richie. Michael waves his off and lights up a cigarette instead.

“You should ask her to hang out sometime. She doesn't know how to have fun anymore.”

Daggers shootout of your eyes when you glance at Claire.

“I'm here, am I?”

“Yeah but you don't seem to be enjoying yourself.”

“I mean you brought me to the most depressing kegger I've ever been to. I didn't know people still did this, but they're lamer than I remember.”

“Pfft, she's got a point there,” Michael scoffs. “I can come up with a hundred things on the spot that would be better than… whatever this is.”

“It was last minute. What would you guys have done, huh?”

“DJ for starters,” Richie chimes in.

“Food,” Michael adds.

“Better beer,” Carmy suggests.

“Strippers,” you say, and they all burst into laughter.

“I could definitely go for some strippers,” Richie holds his hand up for you to give him a high-five, and you quickly smack his palm.

While you empty your cups gulp after gulp, you chat with them for a bit, noticing more often than not Michael staring at you even when you're not the one talking. Maybe it's only in your head, but it still makes you anxious to find his eyes glancing at you as if he was trying to figure you out.

It's certainly not only in your head, cause when your phone beeps in your pocket, you check it out to see a text message from Claire who just coincidentally has her phone in her hand right next to you.

Be careful, big bear is checking you out. — it reads on your screen.

Raising a brow at your annoying, dear friend, you shake your head before typing.

Did you tell him anything about me?

I’d never sell you out.

. . .

You start typing a response but your phone starts ringing, and it’s a call you must take. So you hold that thought, and go find a quieter place away from the house by walking out to the street and pace slowly down the pavement while you talk to your mother for a couple of minutes.

When you go back inside, the group has split. You go around the house to find Richie playing poker with some guys at the dining table. Carmy and Claire are talking with Kerry on the couch, and when you look to the side you spot Michael leaning against the archway between the living room and kitchen, lighting up a second cigarette before seeing you there standing. He gives you a quick nod, and you can only nod back, and turn around to press your teeth on the brim of your solo cup until it rips.

Being here in this house, this room with all these people and music playing feels like a time capsule. It transports you back to that time. As much as you've grown out of your old self, you can help but feel that old awkwardness creeping in to undo all the work you’ve done to come out of your shell.

When you discard the cup, you go upstairs to find a bathroom since the one in the hallway was occupied. Once you're done in the bathroom, you come out to find Michael climbing up the same stairs before crossing paths with you.

“Hey, Zuzu.” His lips quirk up as you both stop in front of the other.

“Hey,” you say back.

“Thought you left.”

“No, I just went to the bathroom,” you use your thumb to point at the door, as he leans back on the wall behind him, crossing one foot over the other.

“So you know where the bathroom is?”

“Sorry?”

“Last time I saw you, you said you were going to the bathroom but never came back. Figure it was your version of the old dad excuse of – I went out for cigarettes. And then ran for the hills.”

He’s smiling, but his tone sounds passive-aggressive, and you can’t tell at all if he’s joking or not.

“Oh, you remember that, huh?” You choose to believe he’s kidding around.

“I haven’t thought about it in a while. Then I saw you here… I wasn’t going to say anything but I… I guess I’ve always wondered what happened.”

“Why? Did I hurt your ego?”

“No, my ego’s intact. But I got really worried when you didn’t come back. Thought maybe I made you feel uncomfortable or something… I just… You don’t owe me anything, but I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

With a long sigh, you prop your back on the opposite wall and collect your thoughts.

This is it. Your moment to explain if you want. You have nothing to lose. The fact that he remembers could mean that he liked you more than he led.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Michael. It was me… I uh… I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. I had never hooked up with someone like that until you. I had some experience, but not that kind of experience if you know what I mean.”

You pause and he nods kindly at your confession.

“I guess I was afraid of going too far, or not going far enough, or disappointing you. I wanted to go back so badly, but I couldn't.”

“You could’ve told me that. You could've said– hey, maybe we should slow down… I’d have never pushed you to do anything that you didn’t want.”

“I didn’t know that. I’m not good at reading people. Guys especially. I wasn’t sure how you’re going to react, and I just bolted. I’m sorry.”

“Nah, don’t apologize,” he waves you off. “I get it.”

“It was one of those moments that I wish I could go back and do things differently, you know? I've done a lot of things in my life that I regret, but that one was just embarrassing.”

“Don't beat yourself up, sweetheart. We were kids. There's nothing to be embarrassed about anymore. Sorry I asked… Didn't mean to make you feel bad or anything.”

“It's okay.” You pause and bite the inside of your cheek for a moment. “Can I ask you something now?”

“Shoot.”

“Did you even like me? Or was it like a one time kinda thing?”

He bashfully scratches the back of his head before answering.

“I asked you out, didn't I?”

“That's not really an answer, Berzatto.”

“Of course I liked you. I always thought you were kind and funny and easygoing. And yeah, for a moment I really saw us together. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

“That's perfect…” you sigh, glancing at the floor for a beat. “Talk about bad timing, huh?”

“Hey, we could have a do-over.” He suggests.

“Tell me you’re joking.” You scoff.

“Not if you want to. You said you wish you could go back… I’m down if you’re down.”

“That easy, huh?”

“Yeah, why not? I hate when people complicate things. I’m not seeing anyone, Claire said you aren’t either… It’s easy math for me.”

“And I thought I was the crazy one,” you chuckle.

“Is it crazy? Think about it. What are the odds of you and me running into each other over a decade later? It seems like fate to me.”

“Hm, fate looks a lot like Claire.”

“So what if she played a hand? She didn't know that I'd show up for sure. I almost didn't. If it wasn't for Paulie coming to cover Gary's shift, I'd be stuck at the shop right now.”

“Maybe you're right.”

“But?”

“No buts. I just… I'm not the same person you knew. Maybe I’m not as easygoing, kind and funny as I was.”

“I’ll be the judge of that but hey, I'm not the same person either. We could just hang out and see if we like those people. What do you say?”

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Yeah?” the corner of his mouth pulls up.

“Yeah, it just so happens I'm free today. I could come over later if you want.”

Since you're staying at Claire's and don't feel comfortable bringing anyone to her apartment, you agree to meet at his place an hour after the party.

Once you’ve exchanged numbers, you receive a text with his address.

You use that hour to go by Claire's place and pamper yourself a little. You're not really sure if it's a date or not but in any case you prepare yourself mentally and physically as if it was. You've older now, and have more confidence and experience than all those years ago. It doesn’t matter if you haven't been with a guy in a while, you can't pass up a chance at a once in a lifetime opportunity to rectify that awful night. Or at least replace it with a new memory. Hopefully.

Claire comes back just in time to see you doing your makeup.

“You going out?”

You nod as she leans on the bathroom’s door frame.

“Michael? Wow, you didn’t waste time. I left you alone for five minutes. See, I was right. You two would be perfect for each other.”

“Don’t ring the bells just yet. We're just hanging out.”

“Does he know about Sam?”

“No, I don't think so. Unless you or Carmen told him. I can’t keep track of what you guys tell others.”

“We didn't. It's your story to tell. But I'm just saying, you don't have to keep it a secret.”

“It's not a secret. It just didn't come up.”

“Well, you should give him a chance, he might surprise you.”

“I'll try.”

It's the last thing you say before heading out to meet Michael.

On the way there, you think carefully about what Claire said and decide to tell him upfront about Sam. It shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. You’re just hanging out. But because you know guys, and you’ve been burned in that department before, you ready yourself for any outcome.

Michael offers you a drink after closing the door to his apartment. You can tell he’s done the same as you. He’s showered, his hair is still damp, his face is clean-shaven now, and he’s wearing a different t-shirt now sans The Beef logo.

Opting for having a drink, he pours a tequila shot for you on the breakfast bar after giving you a short tour of his one-bedroom apartment while he sips from a mug filled with fresh coffee.

“I uh… I have to tell you something,” you start after downing your shot and sitting on one of the barstools.

“Oh.”

“I don’t do this often, you know? Going to a guy's place like this– I mean, I have. A couple of times. But this isn’t a frequent occurrence in my life. Or a priority.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn't. He stares at you instead, asking you to keep going with his curious gaze, as he leans his forearms on the counter.

“This shouldn’t affect you but for the sake of honesty, I thought you should know that I have a daughter.”

“Why would that affect me?”

“Like I said, it shouldn’t. But a lot of guys tend to get weird upon knowing that about me.”

“Well, that's on them. We agreed this was just to get to know each other, right? We can't do it if we pick and choose the parts we want to share.”

You nod firmly. “You're right.”

“Can I ask how old she is?”

“Yeah, she’s three. She called earlier, well, my mom did, and said she was having so much fun she wanted to stay the night.”

“That’s beautiful, Zu. Guess you have to take your chances whenever you can, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“And the father?”

“He’s not in the picture. He pays for the frame, but he’ll never be in it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“His loss.”

He props a hand on the edge of the bar, using the other to pick up the bottle and fill your empty shot glass.

“If we’re laying our cards on the table, I think it’s only fair to confess something too before moving forward.”

Now it’s your time to give him the same curious look he gave you before as he explains.

“I don’t do this often either. At least not as much as I used to. And I’ve never said out loud this to anyone that wasn’t in a room filled with people like me… Not even my family.”

You can see he’s struggling to find the words and courage to admit something, but you don’t push on it until he’s ready to say–

“I’m a recovering addict.” His voice is even, tinged with a dab of shame. But he looks you directly in the eye to gauge your reaction. “It’s been almost a year and just starting to feel back to normal. Or whatever that means. A couple of months ago I wouldn't have felt confident enough to invite anyone here. Hell, going to a party would’ve been unthinkable for me… But I’m still trying to figure it all out, you know? If that’s a dealbreaker for you…”

“It’s not. I wasn’t expecting that, but I’m glad you told me. I uh… I hope this question doesn’t come across as judgmental but is it safe for you to keep alcohol in the house?” you point to the tequila bottle.

“Alcohol isn’t my poison,” he scoffs. “But I don’t drink anymore either if I can help it.”

“You go to meetings?”

“Yeah, NA. Every week.”

“And your family doesn’t know?”

“They know some of it, but not how bad it got.”

“I feel out of my depth here but wouldn’t it be better to have someone close to talk to?”

He shrugs, “you know the Berzattos. We all have problems, we’ll rather pretend everything’s good than to admit we’re all batshit.”

“Sorry for prying.”

“No, it’s fine. I opened that door. Richie knows though. He’s seen the worst of it, has picked me up many times when I couldn’t even get up. He’s always been there, even when he doesn’t know what to say.”

“That’s good. And if it helps, I don’t think you’re crazy. It’s brave to admit that you have a problem, let alone face it on your own. Takes courage.”

“Guess a single mom would know a thing or two about courage.”

“I suppose so,” you gaze at your shot glass before tilting it over your lips.

“One more?”

“No, no. Two is enough for me. Thanks.”

You stare at the other, not sure how to proceed after that. Shit, maybe you went too deep too fast, but it’s good to have everything out in the open. If anything, it only makes him more attractive to see that he can look at his own flaws and own them. Most guys you’ve ever been with never had the balls to look you in the eye and confess something so fucked up and personal.

“Do you wanna keep talking or should we try…?” you trail off.

“Whatever you want sweetheart. I love talking to you.” He lifts his coffee mug up to his lips and takes a long sip.

“Is that a line?”

“No, it’s the truth.”

He grins, placing his mug down, and you just know it’s definitely a line by the way his lips curve up lopsided. Which you don’t hate. Though you like talking to him as well, you’d rather be doing something else than spend all night rehashing all your problems.

Standing up from your barstool, you go around the bar to face him closer. You lick your lips and tentatively cup his face before placing a small kiss on his coffee-tainted lips. His face heats up beneath your palms, and you watch his mouth curl on both sides before locking eyes with him. It’s not until you look at him up close that you can notice the difference in his beautiful browns from all those years ago. They were once eager, sparkly, and mischievous. There’s still some of that, and much more depth than you remember. There’s a lot of sadness too, and a new shade of tenderness you haven’t seen in anyone before.

“Do you think you can kiss me the way you did last time?” Your mouth draws a smile.

“I think I can do better.”

“Yeah? I’d like to see that.”

You both laugh for a beat before noticing his knuckles caressing your neck.

“Do you wanna go slow?” His fingers trail slowly up to your jaw as you nod a “yeah, slow is good.”

Fast would be okay too but you wanna taste this moment like you never got to.

As your hands slide down to hold his sides, his palms reach up to cradle your face. His head leans to the side at the same time his tongue juts out to wet his lips. His face dips, quickly shortening the distance to your mouth to capture the flavor of your kiss. It seems like a terrible combination to mix coffee and tequila, but it works. Having his tongue stirring both inside your mouth is purely delicious. You swirl with him, gently, taking your time to get used to a new flavored cocktail that probably already exists somewhere. But this one is special, cause it has you and him putting that extra ingredient.

He was right, you realize. He's grown to be a better kisser than in that old memory that's been torturing you for years. You have to keep your mind out of that night. This is a different time, different day, and two different people that have nothing to do with those old versions of themselves.

As the kiss grows tiredly eager, you both start panting for air between the sloppy movement of your lips locked together. He parts momentarily to guide you toward the couch. He sits down, pulling you down to straddle his lap.

His palms land on your hips while you take the reins again and seize his mouth at once, wanting to swallow every single drop of that magical drink called Michael Berzatto. Your fingers curl around his neck, capturing his taut muscles bulging out at the hot rush coursing through his veins. His hands become anxious, greedy for more of you. They slip under the hem of your shirt at the back to feel the warmth of your skin.

There's a thread of anticipation weaving inside your body, sending your hips to grind over his denim bulge, making him sigh with groan when you hit the right spot. You do it again, and again, until you feel him growing between two layers of annoying denim.

The dirty work of your mouth becomes too wild to tame. Even for you. You've managed to hold yourself in the past when you needed to, but this time you're not sure that you want to hold back.

Michael's fingers fumble under your shirt to open the clasp of your bra. After a coup of tries, you feel the tight elastic decompress from your skin as one of his hands travels to the front to feel your breasts.

“Is this okay?” he mumbles into the frenzy of your tongue.

“Hm, yeah, that’s fucking perfect.” Your breathing catches as his knuckles softly brush the underside of your boob.

He's rock hard by the time his paw extends fully to mold one of your boobs to the shape of his fingers. Your nipple shrinks into a hard pebble under his firm touch. He thoroughly massages your flesh before switching to the other side.

You pull away from his lips to glance down at his hand enjoying its time in the valley of your chest. He seems either quite taken with it, or perhaps he's afraid of moving forward without your approval.

You clear your throat before suggesting. “Do you think we should move this party to the bedroom?”

“Yeah, I'd like that.”

You peel yourself off him to stand up and then follow him into his room. Before doing anything else, you pull up your phone from your pocket and place it on the nightstand to make sure you can find it fast in case it rings.

Michael moods the lights to just one on the night table with a soft glow of yellow and watches you taking off your clothes for a beat before mirroring you.

It's surprising how your nerves don't even present a threat at this moment, but you're not going to question or overthink right now why you're so damn calm when you lay almost naked on his bed.

You leave your panties on and prop yourself on your elbows watching him like prey as he slips off his shirt and jeans. His chiseled body is something to admire. You can tell he's been working out. Maybe to smooth that edge the drugs gave him. He was already a pretty athletic guy back then but didn't have the same defined shapes that now sculpture his body like a Greek marble statue.

Biting your lip you glance further down to see him push down his boxers to uncover his generous erection. You can't help but admire your own work, swelled to a nice shade of deep pink and pointing up to his abdomen between the grooves of Apollo’s belt.

Your knees push together, feeling your arousal pooling in your folds when he turns around to show you his buttocks. With his back on sight, he collects something from a dresser drawer.

There's a condom in his hand when he faces you again.

“You good down there, sweetheart?” he asks, his eyes casting a dark shade from above, adding more gusto to the overly sexual charge blowing off the charts before even touching each other's naked bodies.

“Uh-hm. Could I just first…” Before he can wrap his dick in latex, you extend your hand to feel his full hardness in your palm. You wait for him to nod and give you permission to curl your fingers around it to feel it throb and ache for more friction.

It's as unexpected for you as it is for him to have you openly telling him what you want to do. If there’s something you've learned from all your past mistakes is that sex is better when you can communicate what you want. Even if it's just a one time thing, it's better to keep an open line between you two. As much as you’d want him to jump on top of you and rearrange your insides, the build up is more gratifying to you than just getting things done as fast as possible. The buzz lasts even longer. And if this is a one time thing, you sure want to remember every second of how being with him felt.

Michael puts one knee on the edge of the bed and observes your kind hand sliding down his shaft. His eyes become glossy. A gulp moves his throat up and down as he swallows a grunt when you tighten your hold around him and press down tighter, coaxing a nice wet drop to spill out of his tip.

Licking his lips, he puts his hand around your wrist to stop you before you go too far. He wants to come. But he wants to do it with you tightly wrapped around him.

He removes the wrapper of the prophylactic and rolls it on.

When she realizes you still have your underwear on, he slides them down your legs carefully, as if he was unwrapping the finest china. He notices the faint scar left on your lower abdomen from your c-section and as Michael climbs on top of you, he leaves a trail of kisses from that scar up to your neck.

As his head is closer, you hook a finger on the gold chain hanging around his neck, pulling his face down to seize his lips. At the same time, he parts your knees to nestle in between.

Adjusting your position, you lay back on the mattress with him following your cue and letting your tongue invite itself past his teeth to keep savoring everything he has to offer as your hips fit together. When his cock presses against your clit you can’t help but jolt and grind against its solid hardness. The thin layer of latex collects your dampness as you do. You grip his sides as he uses the advantage of being on top of you to kiss you back with a burning ache that sets your core in fire the longer you rub against the other.

“How does it feel, sweetheart?” His voice tenses in his throat. “You like it like that, huh.”

“Yeah, it feels so fucking good.” But you can’t bear that thought for longer than that. You need him inside pushing past your entrance, stretching your walls to the shape of his erection.

“Fuck me,” you moan before sucking his lip into your mouth.

His hand snakes down your torso to taste with his finger the arousal covering your sex.

“God you’re so wet, sweetheart,” he purrs, probing a finger before smoothly burying himself inside you.

Your eyes shine behind a layer of gloss that wells up at the corners as he pushes a couple of times carefully until you get used to his size molding the shape of your walls.

After a few experimental thrusts, he lowers his body on top of yours, letting his weight do all the work as he gradually moves faster.

“You’re gonna make me come,” he pants over your lips, feeling the tight grip of your pussy contracting every time his cock pushes deeper inside.

“That’s the idea,” you wink at him as your palms slide down his back to grab his ass.

You keep eye contact with him and stay quiet as the only sound that fills the room is your skin meeting over and over until your moans seep in. You watch his forehead and neck quickly get covered in sweat beads. He takes a deep breath before letting his grunts join the symphony. His forehead falls on top of yours, as the rhythm of his thrust picks up. His muscles strain under your palms that go back up to hold tightly to his sides the closer he drives you to the edge. Your nails dig on his ribs pushing him thrust his hips even sharper. You can feel him throb and jerk inside you as he exerts his body for your pleasure. It’s easy to tell he wants to come desperately, but he holds and holds his release for you until you reach that point.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” there’s an edge of urgency in his breathless voice as he tucks one hand underneath to rub your clit and get you to come faster.

“I… almost… fuck,” you try to word something out, but you’re so close you can only cling to his sides as your body aches for a release.

The tears collecting in your ears trickle down your cheeks when you close your eyes at that very crucial point when your orgasm reaches the highest peak. The powerful force makes your body shake like a damn earthquake, leaving your core in shambles. One of his hands holds your trembling thigh, feeling its vibrations on his palm until it passes. At that point, he cannot longer hold his own, and the squeeze of your opening around his pulsating erection just makes him spill everything into the condom. His teeth are clenched on your neck, printing a loud grunt on your skin as he comes undone. Your pussy still contracts around him up until the final drop is ejected.

That sweet orgasm slowly ebbs, but the buzz in your head lingers for longer than that. He lazily stays on top of you for a minute until he can finally push himself off you.

Painting together, you stare at the ceiling as the breeze slipping in from the open window cools your body.

“That was…”

“Yeah.” He scoffs, half glancing at you with a giddy smile.

You don't really need to give it a word. You both know how amazing that was. It’s safe to say that this is how it was supposed to be. If you had gotten your way the first time around, it probably wouldn't have been nearly as good. And now you don't have to wonder anymore or feel ashamed for leaving cause this night definitely overwrites that fiasco.

When your breathing evens out, you both turn to your side and face each other to bask in the afterglow plastered on your faces. One of his hands slips across your jaw, as his thumb caresses your cheek when you place your head on the pillow.

Your face heats up as he leans closer to place a tender kiss on your sweaty temple. As his hand slides down your warm body, he watches it draw the curves of your body as one of his fingers sticks out around your hips to draw the scar he saw before peaking just over your pubic hair. You let him do it for a second before you put a palm over it. Then, he slips his fingers between your legs to seize the mess he’s made out of you. Your juices still cling to your skin when his fingers start circling around your clit.

“Can I make you come again?”

“Please,” you let out a half laugh and push your knee higher to make room for his wandering fingers that explore all over your pussy. His eyes stay fixed on yours as he easily takes you to have a quick orgasm. It’s not as explosive, but it’s a nice aftershock that leaves your body melting into the mattress.

[merakiui]

Jade switching dorms when he's pissed at Zuzu is actually fun to think about. Probably ends up at Ramshakle more often than not and wants to share a bed. Hmm...honestly, I feel like a lot of the guys get tired of their dorm leaders bull and would end up wanting to be at ramshackle with their fave prefect.

Ace and Deuce show up the most frequently, but this is because they just love spending time with you. They sneak out even though Trey and Cater have warned them no mercy will be shown if Riddle asks where they're getting off to. Still, they always drop by for late-night visits. Riddle is used as the excuse for nearly every visit, but it's been three consecutive nights of "Housewarden Rosehearts is being a royal pain in the ass," and you're beginning to suspect that Ace and Deuce just want sleepovers with you because when isn't Riddle being difficult? ^^;;;;

Sometimes Ruggie stops by if it's on his way or convenient. It's not that he's so tired of Leona; he's used to the grind and how it runs him ragged, but it is nice to have a secondary place to rest at when he's bone-weary and doesn't want to deal with piles of Leona's laundry or other things the minute he steps into Savanaclaw. Ruggie loves visiting Ramshackle because he knows you'll always offer to feed him and he never turns down your generous offer. The quickest way to one hyena's heart is through food and kindness. Ruggie swears that second one isn't true, but it's obvious he softens when you tell him to take care of himself. He's in love. <3

Floyd doesn't need a consistent reason to visit. He visits because he wants to or because Azul's annoying or because he had an argument with Jade or because he wants to kick back and relax after basketball practice. You should be used to his spontaneous visits by now. Jade is also prone to the odd visit every now and then. He loves your hospitality (you slammed the door in his face the first time he showed up) and so now he brings peace offerings: a (mushroom) dish he cooked for you or leftovers from the lounge.

Jamil would absolutely visit you. The only issue? Kalim makes that impossible, especially when Jamil's running himself insane trying to make sure Kalim isn't going to cause trouble for himself or others with his spontaneity. T_T and if Kalim suspects Jamil wants to visit you, he'll invite himself along. So if Jamil really wants to see you he has to sneak out of the dorm. But this has its own benefits because the night is calm and cool, and so maybe Jamil can indulge a little. He's not tired and neither are you, so a magic carpet ride sounds perfect, doesn't it? :D it'll be a secret between the both of you.

Epel is going to visit you if it's the last thing he does! >:( even if this earns him scoldings from Vil about how he's "ruining his sleep schedule" and will "look like death if he isn't well-rested," he's still going to make it his mission to see you. Sometimes he bumps into Rook when he's sneaking out and the two of them agree to visit Ramshackle together so long as neither tells Vil lol. You're definitely in for a surprise when Epel shows up at your doorstep with Rook in tow. A little late-night excursion never hurt anyone, right? :)

No one could ever get tired of Malleus. <3 then again, most are too afraid to even feel or think that way. ;;;; it's mostly Malleus himself who visits you. He's the number one frequent Ramshackle visitor. At this point, you should just consider him an honorary member with how often he appears to spend time with you. You've told him before he's always welcome, and after that he began to show up even more than before. Sometimes Lilia visits you, which always startles you, but then it's perfectly on par with his penchant for surprises. Sometimes he just stops by for tea or to float aimlessly about while he tells you all about how "tickled pink" Malleus was when you invited him to play cards with you, Grim, and the ghosts. You think it's endearing and so sweet to know that Malleus appreciates these little gestures of friendship. It's not much, but then it's more than enough to him.

[drabblesandimagines]

Sweet & Salty

I'm feeling a bit sad today so wanted some comfort... Sebastian x (afab) reader, Stardew Valley, Fluffity fluff Warnings: Mention of recreational drug use

-

It’s been a day. You’d sat down heavily on your porch steps, trying to keep the tears at bay. You should probably go mope in your bed, instead of staring at the land that is causing you so much distress. Despite your carefully placed scarecrow, you must’ve miscalculated the distance because the crows have still had a go at your most recent plantings and that’s hard-earned money down the drain - again. You’ve been here two months now and, surely, by now you should know better. The farm has been somewhat transformed since you arrived - a mass of weeds, stone and dead branches - but it’s nowhere near how you remember it in your grandpa’s heyday. He would’ve never made such a rudimentary error in his scarecrow placement.

Some of the fences around your crop patches have started to erode too – it won’t be long until they need replaced, but you’re trying to save up your wood supplies to put in a coop from Robyn. You desperately want to add chickens to the farm as eggs would be steady income – or at least you reckon – but you also don’t want them pecking at your crops alongside the crows, so having a fence seems important too. Your endless to-do list swirls around your head again. Why’s everything so hard?

It's not just your failings on the farm on your mind, but also your lack at making any real friends around here. Shane glared at you this morning as he headed off to work. That’s not unusual, despite your best efforts of a smile and a friendly greeting. Then Haley looked you up and down, judging your dirty dungarees. You’d only popped into town to get some seeds from Pierre’s. It didn’t make sense to get changed… Elliott is sweet but locked away in his cabin most of the time, Emily in her own little world… Sebastian, Sam and Abigail have invited you to play pool with them, but they’re such a tight-knit group and you always feel like you’re missing out on the joke, especially when you were partnered up with Sebastian. He’d been teaching you how to hold the cue correctly, leaning over you, his breath tickling your ear. Sam and Abigail kept nudging each other and whispering, but you couldn’t catch what about and it was clear Sebastian was becoming irritated. You’d begun to think they were making fun of your abysmal pool skills.

Ugh. Your emotions are a rollercoaster and the twisting pain in your stomach reminds you why – stupid period. It emerged with a vengeance this morning. It had stopped in your last months of JoJo Corp. There was no chance you were pregnant, your last intimate relationship fizzling out a year previously, though you’d taken tests just to be sure. The doctor in Zuzu City said you were stressed, burnt out… that it would return once you were feeling better in yourself. So why had it returned now, of all times? You feel more stressed and burnt out than ever before, regretting ever moving here. Why did you think you could become a farmer…?!

The barrier finally breaks and you let out a sob, hugging your knees.

To your shame, there’s a scuffing footstep and your heart stops as you look up, worried who’s seen your breakdown.

“Sebastian?” You sniff. You’re tempted to rub the tears from your cheeks but maybe he hasn’t noticed in the evening light. The black-haired man is standing there looking sheepish, a brown paper bag from Pierre’s clutched in his hands.

“Er, hey…” He’s not meeting your eyes. Poor boy probably wants to run. “Sorry, I… I was just leaving Sam’s and I didn’t want to go through town and see everyone, so I thought I’d take the scenic route back home through your farm…”

“Oh.” You mumble, waving him on. “That’s okay. Go ahead.”

He takes a step as if to go on his way, but then hesitates. “Are… Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” you plaster a smile on, which you’re sure makes you look ridiculous as the stupid tears are still flowing. “I’m just being silly. Don’t let me keep you.”

He stares at you for a moment, before a sympathetic smile graces his lips. “You’re a terrible liar, you know?”

“I’m not ly- Ow!” You flinch as your stomach cramps terribly and you squeeze your arms around it, hoping in some way it might alleviate the pain.

Sebastian is suddenly at your side – the paper bag from Pierre’s dropped to the ground. He’s kneeling down on the first porch step with a frown on his face. “Whoa, are you hurt? I can get Harvey…” His hand hovers over your arm,

“No, honestly, I’m fine…” You try and wave him off again with one hand, the other arm still wrapped around your stomach.

He stares at you, a raised eyebrow. He seems to be putting the clues together – the wincing, clutching your stomach, the tears… He nods, making up his mind and gets to his feet, picking up the discarded bag from Pierre’s as he does so.

“Come on, let’s get you inside.” He offers you his free hand.

“Thank you, but I’ll be okay. You get on home…”

“Farmer, I know I’m probably not the person you want to see right now, but let me help you out, okay? I can’t go home and just leave crying on your porch.” He waves his offered hand again. You look at Sebastian, hesitantly. He looks genuine, at least, but there’s something a little off about him tonight… Heck, you’ve already made a fool of yourself enough, so what’s one more thing?

This time you accept his hand and he easily pulls you to your feet and leads you up to your door. He opens it – you’d easily adapted to the habit of leaving the front door unlocked since moving to Pelican Valley.

You go to open your mouth, to tell Sebastian thank you, but he can go now. You’re inside, you’ll go to bed and pretend this never happened.

“Sit down.” He orders, pointing at your bed. “You like hot chocolate, right?” You wonder how he knows that, how he knows you have a stash. Had you mentioned it at the saloon before? “I’ll make you a cup.”

“But you don’t know where…”

“I’ll find it. Sit!” He pushes you gently towards the bed and you do sit, keeping a wary eye. To be honest, it is quite easy to find your cups and kettle. Robyn had advertised an extension to you but you don’t even want to think about the price and the materials needed. For now – perhaps even for the rest of your life - you’ve got a cupboard filled with crockery and silverware. The fire’s roaring away, you’re thankful you’d lit it earlier to try and make it cosy ahead of going to bed later on. The cabin always had a slight chill at night. Sebastian retrieves a mug and spoon, scooping the hot chocolate powder into the mug, fills the kettle with water from the jug you keep besides the cupboard, before taking it over to the fire to heat.

“Do you have a hot water bottle?” He asks over his shoulder.

“Huh?”

“Hot water bottle.” He enunciates.

“Y-yeah, I think it’s under my bed. Let me…” Before you can bend down, he drops to his knees and Sebastian is now crawling under the bedframe to retrieve it. You pull your legs up off the floor to the bed, not sure what to say.

He reverses back out, holding the fluffy hot water bottle in the air triumphantly, and gets back to his feet. “Finally, where do you keep the snacks?”

“I don’t have any. Sorry, I wasn’t really expecting to entertain.”

“Not for me,” a chuckle – it sounds a little odd coming from him - “..for you!”

“For me?” He’s acting so weird.

But he’s not listening, already rummaging around the brown bag from Pierre’s. He walks over to the sofa and empties the contents besides you – there’s a couple of packs of chips, cookies and candy. “Ta-da!”

You look at the assembled junk food and back up at the black-haired man, noticing his blood-shot eyes.

“You’re high.”

Sebastian laughs again, rubbing the back of his head. “Guilty. Is that a problem?”

“No, it just… explains a lot.” You wince again as the kettle on the fire whistles. Sebastian grabs the mitt you keep nearby for that exact purpose and places it on his hand, removing the kettle from the fire and placing it down on the hearth. Methodically, he pours some hot water in the hot water bottle, tightening the cap, before pouring some in in the cup he retrieved, stirring the hot chocolate powder until it dissolves. Once he seems happy with his work, he brings the two over to you on the bed.

“Okay, since you worked out my thing, it’s my turn. Time of the month, right?” He flops down next to you on the bed, ripping open a bag of chips. “My sympathies.” It feels surreal as he holds the bag towards you and you take a handful – maybe junk food would make you feel better, and the warmth of the hot water bottle is soothing too now against your sore tummy.

The only sound for a few moments is the rustle of the chip package and the crunching of said chips. You take a sip of hot chocolate, probably a weird combination at that moment in time, but it’s working.

“Sebastian…”

“Mm?” You’ve caught him with his mouth full.

“How are you so good at this?”

“Erm…” He swallows. “Well, I guess cos I have a sister and a mom… and a friend named Abigail.” He replies in a teasing tone. “Maru and Abi usually just get super pissy though. Mom’s the crier.” Sebastian leans forward and grabs the blanket off the end of your bed, throwing it over the both of your laps in a smooth motion. Who knew he could turn into a right chatterbox? “Wanna watch some TV?” He picks up the remote control and turns it on without waiting for a response, flipping through the channels. “Do you have a preference? Nothing deters Abi from horror, Mom and Maru go chick-flick mad…”

You burst into tears again.

“Whoa, okay, no TV! That’s fair too.”

“N-no, it’s n-not that.” You let out a shuddering breath. “Why are you being so nice?”

“Because we’re friends…?”

“No, everyone hates me here.” You know you’re being irrational now, but the floodgates have well and truly opened.

“Come on, you know that’s not exactly true.” His face looks serious now.

“It is. I don’t know what I was thinking – I worked in customer support, why did I think I could farm the land? I’m going to be broke by the end of winter if I lose another batch of crops and this town is so tight-knit that they’re never going to like me being here.”

“I like you being here.”

“No, you’re just saying that because you feel sorry for me.” You go to take another handful of chips, but he snatches the bag out of your reach indignantly.

“I am not.”

“You are.” You clip back.

Sebastian lets out a huff in frustration and he acts before he can even consider the consequences. He puts a hand on the side of your face, turning it slightly and presses a gentle kiss on your lips for a moment or two, immediately causing your tears to cease.

“Would I kiss you if I didn’t like you?”

“I…” You don’t have any words.

He swipes his tongue over his lips. “Mm, salty. That’s not how I expected our first kiss to go, I’ll be honest.”

“Our first kiss?” Your face is on fire. It has to be on fire, why else would it feel so hot?

“Yeah, well, I told you I like you, didn’t I?” He grins, before it drops. “Though I’ve just realized that you probably don’t like me like that, I’m high, and now I’ve made this a hundred times wor-…”

You cut him off, caressing his lips with your own for a moment.

“No. I like you too.”

“Well, that’s that settled, then, isn’t it?” He leans back, a smug look on his face before he grabs the packet of candy. “Shall we see what a sweet kiss tastes like next?”

-

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi I'm also running an event for x reader fics to celebrate 200 followers, so please check it out and send in your requests.

[swarvey]

broken pieces | shane x oc

Shane has spent years wallowing in the dark alone, thinking he’s too far gone — Kai begs to differ. After a rocky first meeting, the two will have to learn how they can save each other while, at the same time, they save themselves.

a/n: a fic i've been writing on ao3 (saturnice) and have recently picked up again after a few years ! while i work on new chapters, i will be reposting the ones i have already written onto here. sorry to those who wanted more :')

chapter 1: the first spring

"Did you hear about the new farmer, Shane?"

Shane didn't even look up from his meal. He shrugged, having another bite of his egg. The morning light glared into his eyes through the window; he grimaced, finishing the rest of his plate quickly.

Time to get another day over with.

"Well," Marnie continued, ignoring his silence, "I heard from Robin that she's very nice."

"Okay, and?" He got up, putting his plate in the sink before rinsing his hands.

"And, I think it would be nice for you to make a new friend." He scowled. “I mean, you know I love you dearly, Shane, but you should start talking to more people other than me and Jas—“

"See you, Marnie." Shane left without another word, shrugging on his jacket to head to Joja.

The air was sickeningly fresh as Shane breathed in, trudging his way past Jodi's house. The only part of the morning he liked was the emptiness — barely anyone got up as early as him. Shane took in the sight of the quiet, vacant town. Just how I like it, he thought, continuing to walk.

The peace was broken, however, when he saw a stranger standing in front of Pierre's shop.

Shane paused. Damn it.

He tried, he really fucking did, to pass her without any notice. He turned his head and sped up, the sight of the bridge fueling him—

"Um, excuse me?"

Shane reluctantly stopped, eyes closing as he refrained from screaming as loud as he could.

"What do you want?" he asked bluntly, not even bothering to turn around.

He heard the stranger snort quietly, undoubtedly because of his attitude. "I was wondering when this shop opens." She paused. "That is, if you know, of course," she added, a teasing tone to her voice.

He turned his head, sending her the nastiest glare he could gather that early in the morning. "Screw off, I don't even know you," Shane snapped.

The last glimpse of her he saw was her head tilted slightly in confusion, arms crossed.

Asshole.

-

Kai had never been a morning person, so she had no idea why she was making herself wake up at six.

Despite that, she couldn’t help but feel amazed as she opened her door and took in the sight of the field in front of her. Sure, there were trees, rocks, and weeds littered everywhere, but Kai already felt more at home than she had in the city. She would be lying if she said she didn’t miss the lights and sound of cars passing by in the night, but she would never go back to working in a cramped office. Kai smiled — for the first time in years, she felt free.

That is, until she realized she had to clear the field, plant the seeds she was gifted, and then buy some more before repeating.

Sighing, Kai decided to get some more seeds first, pulling on her coat before heading into town. The spring air bit at her cheeks for just a moment, settling down after it sunk in. She had always loved spring; the rain, the warmer weather, the life. Everything felt new, and after the crappy life she’d been living, Kai really needed a fresh start.

She winced at the thought of her life in Zuzu City. Her job was bad, but her life outside of work was worse. She barely even bothered to call her parents anymore, considering they basically cut her off once she went to college. Kai would get a call from them once in a blue moon. Even then, they would only talk for a couple minutes, making sure everything was fine — Are you alive? Eating well? — before hanging up.

And then, of course, there was Tom.

She tried not to think about him.

Kai entered the town to find it empty. The sound of the river flowing filled the air, calming her nerves. Birds chirped and flew over head while the sun continued to rise, casting a golden gleam over all the buildings. Kai smiled.

She was ready to start her new life.

Looking back at the store, Kai noticed the lack of lights and the locked doors. Sighing, she placed a hand on her hip. The paper that read “Shop Hours” at the top was ripped up below.

Just as she was about to head back, Kai noticed a man heading her way. He had his blue hoodie pulled tightly around him, his gaze glued to the ground. She could tell he didn’t feel like talking.

Chewing her lip, Kai thought about what to do. She hated to be bothered in the morning, too, so she understood why the guy was practically sprinting past her, but she also really wanted to know when the store opened.

“Um, excuse me?” she called out, trying to sound as friendly as possible.

Kai saw him freeze. “What do you want?” She snorted to herself. She wasn’t a morning person, but she was never rude to anyone who tried to talk to her. He didn’t even turn around to look at her while he spoke.

“I was wondering when this shop opens,” she said, crossing her arms and perking an eyebrow. “That is, if you know, of course.” She couldn’t help herself. Kai blamed her tease on the lack of sleep and coffee affecting her.

What she didn’t expect was the man to turn his head ever so slightly to give her the scariest glare she ever witnessed. Kai was, admittedly, taken aback. You took it too far, idiot, she thought, feeling embarrassment crawl up her face.

“Screw off, I don’t even know you,” he growled, leaving with his hands shoved in his pockets. Kai blinked before rolling her eyes, quietly defending herself in her head. Not my fault someone woke up on the wrong side of his bed.

Prick.

-

Over the following week, Kai learned when the shop opened from another early riser named Alex.

“Oh, Pierre’s? He always opens at nine, except on Wednesdays. He’s always closed on Wednesdays,” he had informed her, gridball tucked under his arm.

“Thanks,” Kai had replied. She gestured toward the ball. “You play?”

Alex’s chest puffed up a bit as he smiled smugly. “Yeah, I’m planning on going pro. I always get up early to practice a bit before working out; gotta keep these muscles working, am I right?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” After saying another thanks, Kai had left, not very eager to see Alex again.

A few days later, she visited the Stardrop Saloon. The sun was starting to dip below the skyline as she walked in, the music immediately lifting her mood. The saloon’s atmosphere brought her at ease, the tension in her body seeming to melt away.

“Ah, you must be the new farmer!” the man behind the counter said, grinning. “I’m Gus, nice to meet you.”

Kai walked up to him, holding out a hand. “Kai,” she responded, smiling back at him.

“Your grandfather used to come here on Fridays, too, you know,” Gus started, his smile growing a little sadder. “After a week of hard work, he let himself have a drink as a reward. He was a fine man.” He patted her hand. “I’m sure you’ll take after him, Kai. Welcome to the Valley.”

She nodded, placing her hand lightly over his. “Thanks, Gus. I needed to hear that.”

When Kai’s grandpa passed away, she hadn’t taken it very well. She’d stayed home for two weeks, skipping work and ordering food for most of her meals. At the time, it’d felt surreal — her grandfather had been the stone that kept her grounded throughout everything that happened. Hearing about his death crushed her — Kai didn’t want to know what would’ve happened if she hadn’t remembered his letter for her.

"Here — take this, on the house." Gus slid over a glass of beer. "While you're here, why don't you talk to some of the townsfolk? I'm sure you'll make friends quickly."

Kai took a look around the already crowded saloon. "Sure, why not," she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "I can't say I'm the best at starting conversations, though."

Gus perked an eyebrow before smirking, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Why don't I give you a hand, then?" Before she could decline, Gus waved down a long-haired man that had just walked through the door. "Elliott! Come meet the new farmer!"

Kai felt her heart jump. "Gus, I— what are you—"

"Relax. Elliott's one of the nicest guys in town, just sit and have a drink with him."

"But I—"

"Hello there, miss," Elliott greeted, his voice deep and smooth. "I don't believe we've met."

Kai swallowed. "No, we haven't." She cleared her throat quickly before pushing away her anxiety. "Why don't we grab a seat so we can talk more?"

“That sounds delightful.” He headed toward an empty table, hair flowing behind him.

"Good luck," Gus whispered, giving her a thumbs up. "I'm sure you two will get along greatly."

"We better," she muttered, grabbing her drink and heading to her seat.

Thankfully, after several more drinks between the two of them and some icebreakers, Kai found herself completely relaxed. Talking to Elliott was easy — his attentive eyes and comical facial expressions made it hard to not feel welcome in his presence.

Somehow, she ended up bringing up the incident in front of Pierre's. "Honestly, I feel kind of bad," she said, taking another sip of her drink. "Maybe I was too harsh."

"Oh, please," Elliott exasperated, leaning back in his chair. "You must have ran into quite a sensitive soul. What did this person look like?"

She thought for a moment. "Well, he had a blue jacket on with a green shirt — oh, and his hair was kind of like this." Kai gestured how his hair hung out to the side.

Elliott's eyes left hers for the first time that evening. "You mean him?" He pointed behind her before taking a big swig of his drink to hide his amused smile.

Kai tentatively looked over her shoulder to see that, indeed, the "sensitive soul" had entered the saloon. Gus already had his drink ready for him as he grabbed it, muttering a quick "thanks". The man then made his way to the corner, drinking alone. Kai felt a small tug of sympathy for him.

"That's Shane," Elliott said quietly, bringing her attention back to him. "He's not the most social fellow. He lives with Marnie and his goddaughter, Jas." He hesitated before continuing, "He also has a bit of a drinking problem, I'm afraid to say."

Kai tapped her fingers on her glass. "Oh." She took another peek at him. Shane was staring blankly at his drink, the dark circles around his eyes prominent in the dim saloon lighting. "I feel a bit worse, now," she admitted, shoulders slumping.

Elliott's eyes lit up. "Why don't you give him a heartfelt apology? Words are always the cure to a wounded heart," he advised.

"Really? You think so?" Kai knew her judgement was clouded, although an unfamiliar confidence sprouting in her chest fueled her. "Elliott, I don't know. He looks like he wants to be alone."

Elliott scoffed lightly. "Believe me, dear Kai, he always looks like that." He made a "shooing" motion with his hand. "Go, spill your heart to him." He smiled at the glare she sent his way as she got up, finishing her drink for courage.

As Kai grew closer to Shane, she felt the confidence that had driven her dissipate. She inhaled sharply when he looked up at her, eyes widening.

"You again?" he asked roughly, gaze narrowing. "Why are you talking to me?"

"I just, um," she stuttered, taking in a breath, "I just wanted to say sorry. You know, for what I said the other day." She saw his eyes light up momentarily in surprise before darkening once more. "It was early, and I was super sleep deprived— I mean, that doesn't excuse what I said, but . . ." Kai felt her face heating up. She decided to blame it on the liquor. "I just . . . I'm sorry. I don't want to be on bad terms with you because of something stupid I said, you know? I swear I'm not that bad, once you get to know me." She laughed slightly, lips lingering in an awkward smile. "So, I'll see you around, I hope."

Kai turned, heading back to Elliott with burning cheeks. She fell back into her chair and buried her face into her arm, letting Elliott pat her shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm an idiot," she mumbled.

"You aren’t. I'm sure you did just fine," Elliott reassured. He looked up. "You must have — he's coming over to our table, right this instant."

Kai shot up. "What?"

"Hey."

Her head turned embarrassingly quickly, greeted with the green fabric of Shane's jersey.

"Hi," Kai replied, moving back to look at him properly.

Shane nodded at Elliott before returning to her. "About . . . that." Kai felt her chest tighten. "It's, uh, it's fine. I don't care." She nearly jumped out of her seat as relief crashed through her, hoping the man in front of her hadn't noticed. She was amazed how excited she became because of six simple words; seven, including “uh”.

"Thanks," Kai managed, her choked voice causing Elliott to smirk. "I'm glad to hear that, I guess."

With another nod, Shane walked over to Gus, handing him a few coins before exiting the saloon. Kai turned around, sliding down into her seat.

"See?" Elliott said, raising his glass. "Words are always the cure."

-

The next week, Kai made it her mission to befriend Shane. With Elliott's support and guidance, she managed to even give him a couple surprise gifts.

The first was a meal. After speaking to Marnie in the morning, Kai had just what Shane needed to cheer up.

"He didn't even eat breakfast this morning," she'd said, wringing her hands in worry. "That's how I know he's not in a good mood."

"I could drop something off, if you'd like me to," Kai suggested.

"Oh, would you? Thank you, Kai — here, take this to him, sweetie. It's his favorite."

So, Kai stood in front of the Joja Mart, a wrapped plate of pepper poppers in hand.

"He works here? Seriously?" she questioned.

Elliott shrugged. "Everyone's talents lie in different places. His just happens to be here," he replied, looking at the store distastefully. "I can't say I'm fond of this place, though."

"Well, he has to eat," she reasoned, nodding to herself. "I'll just go in, tell him this is from Marnie, and go on with my day."

"That sounds like a brilliant plan, Kai," Elliott encouraged. "May I ask where you obtained this sudden determination?"

"I don't know, that night at the saloon, I guess he kind of proved my theory."

"Which was?"

"That he isn't a total ass."

Huffing out a laugh, Elliott nodded. "Then, by all means, proceed, dear Kai. I'll be right out here in case you implode." Punching his shoulder lightly with her free hand, Kai swallowed her fears and walked forward into the blue store.

She found Shane easily. The aisles were empty, the sound of her boots hitting the floor echoing throughout the store. He didn't even notice her at first — he was crouched on the white tile floor, almost mechanically shelving soup cans. He only looked up when she cleared her throat.

"You're awfully fuckin’ persistent," Shane grumbled. Marnie was right — Kai could tell he was in an even worse mood than he usually was. "Don't you have your own work to do?"

"Not right now, I don't," she replied, voice somehow steady. "In fact, I could even call this my work for today. Here."

He took the plate hesitantly, eyeing it cautiously. "What's this?"

"I talked to Marnie earlier and she said you didn't have breakfast. I already finished most of my farm work for today, so I offered to bring these over for you. Marnie made them herself — she said they're your favorite."

Unwrapping the foil to look at the peppers, Shane's eyes lit up, lips curling up into a small smile.

Kai, honestly, was amazed. Up until then, she'd questioned if she would ever get the stoic man to show any sign of happiness.

The moment ended abruptly, however, as Shane covered the plate again and looked away.

"Thanks, I guess," he said, placing the plate carefully next to him. "Tell Marnie not to worry so damn much."

Kai laughed. "I'll make sure she gets your message," she said, grinning as she began to make her way back to the entrance. Success.

"Seriously, though." She stopped, turning her head to look back at Shane. He still wouldn't look at her, although Kai could see a hint of pink in his cheeks. "You didn't have to do this."

She simply shrugged. "I know." He looked up at her to meet her eyes just before she walked away, still smiling.

"You’re in one piece, so I'm assuming everything went well?" Elliott asked as she approached him.

"Very well," she corrected, grabbing his arm. "Come on, I need some lunch."

The next gift Kai gave Shane ended up being a simple beer. She and Elliott had decided to head to the Stardrop Saloon once again, promising to each other they wouldn't get as drunk as they had the trip prior. Only an hour into their visit, however, Elliott glanced at the clock and frowned.

"Ah, I'm afraid our time together has to end early tonight," he stated, sighing. "To be quite honest, I've been neglecting my writing duties since I befriended you. Your charm has its toll." He smiled as he got up from his seat, dropping some coins onto the table. "There, that should cover your drink, as well as mine."

Kai shook her head, pushing them back towards him. "Elliott, come on, you don't have to do that. I can pay this time."

"I insist, Kai. Consider this a trade."

She raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

Elliott smirked, raising her hand to place a light, quick kiss on her knuckles. "I pay for you — and give you the gift of a kiss, mind you—" Kai yanked her hand back, a smile blooming on her face in amusement, "and you talk to you-know-who."

"Oh, please, you're bribing me to talk to Shane? I can do that for free."

"A brave one, I see," Elliott teased. "Fine. Buy him a drink and I'll pay for next time, too."

"And just where are you getting this money from, rich boy?"

"Is it a deal or not, dear Kai?" He held out his hand.

Shrugging, Kai shook it. "Sure, why not." She knew alcohol always made her confidence soar, so why waste the feeling?

Elliott grinned. "I trust you will keep your word. Until next time, my friend. Trust your heart!" He gave one last wave before leaving swiftly.

Like clockwork, Shane walked in a few moments later, following the same routine as the past week. After he received his glass, Kai made her way up to Gus, letting out a breath. As always, the beer’s high was already starting to wear off, a pit beginning to grow in her stomach.

"Hey, Gus," she greeted.

"Kai! It's good to see you," he replied, cleaning a glass and placing it down. "Now, how can I help you?"

She placed the money Elliott had given her onto the counter. "Here, this should cover everything Elliott and I had." After a quick count, Gus nodded in confirmation, slipping the coins into his hand before dropping them into the cash register.

"Anything else I can do for you? Another round, maybe? Some pizza to snack on?"

Kai shook her head, grabbing a few more coins from her own wallet. "Actually, I'd like to get Shane another drink, please."

Gus blinked, surprise evident on his face as he smiled. "Oh? Another beer, I suppose?"

"That sounds great." He handed her another glass filled to the brim with the drink. "Thanks a bunch, Gus."

"No problem, Kai." Gus eyed Shane before looking back at her. "So, you've taken a liking to Shane, I see. I can't say I'm not surprised—"

"No, no! It's, uh, it's not like that," Kai explained, gaining a few stares.

"Of course, I'm sorry for assuming so rashly." Gus smiled knowingly. "Are you sure there's nothing I can get for you?”

“Positive. Thanks again, Gus.” Kai took the drink and walked over to Shane as quickly as she could without spilling, setting the drink in front of him right as he finished his first one.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” she heard him mutter.

“Hey,” she responded, choosing to ignore his comment and taking the seat across from him. “I hope this seat isn’t taken.”

No reply. Shane merely stared at the new glass in front of him.

“I don’t usually see anyone sitting here, so I just assumed it was free. I hope you don’t mind.” She winced, cringing at her own words.

Silence. More staring.

Kai’s shoulders dropped. “Look, I know you’re probably annoyed at how much I’ve bothered you these last couple weeks, but I think you’re a pretty decent guy, Shane.” He looked up at that, as if he was surprised she knew his name. “I mean, we had a pretty rough start, but I want to get to know you better. Maybe find out your favorite color, or something.”

Kai really, really wanted to smack her head on the table.

All of her energy seemed to drain out of her as Shane began to avoid her eyes once more, gaze now aimed at his lap. The sound of arcade games dinging and loud laughter from a group of people seemed to grow louder in Kai’s ears as she wondered what she was even doing.

Shane had made it painfully clear he didn’t want her around. Kai thought back to all the times she’d tried to approach him over the past few days. He had always replied with some annoyed remark — The hell do you want? Haven’t I been rude enough to you yet? — and walked away, leaving her in the dust. More anxious thoughts filled her head as Kai balled her fists in her lap, shaking her head slightly to herself.

Maybe I’m the prick.

Already thinking about how she was going to explain this to Elliott without spontaneously combusting, Kai pushed her chair back, rising from her seat.

“Sorry for wasting your time,” she said softly, any last bit of enjoyment in her gone. “I’ll, uh, see you around, Shane.”

Kai began to walk away, catching Gus’s eye on her way out. He gave her a questioning glance, and she shook her head in response. Not now, she wanted to say. He seemed to understand, nodding.

The evening breeze cooled Kai’s hot face when she opened the door. She let herself savor it for a moment before beginning to walk, tipsy and heavy hearted.

Just then, she heard the door open behind her once again before shutting. She didn’t think twice about it; at least, not until she heard someone come her way.

“Kai.”

She stopped, eyes widening. Kai turned to face Shane, noticing how the evening light brought out the red in his cheeks.

Cute, she thought, feeling a blush hit her own face.

“I’m sorry for freezing back there. I just didn’t expect you to come over.” She nodded. “And I guess I’m sorry for being rude to you before, too. I was a dick.” Another nod. Shane rolled his eyes. “You gonna say anything or am I wasting my breath?”

Kai blinked. “Oh, uh, don’t worry about it. I guess I was being kind of annoying, too.”

“Yeah, kind of.” She grimaced. “I’ve never really had anyone want to talk to me that much before, though.” Kai felt that same feeling of sympathy she’d felt that first night at the saloon. Shane rubbed his arm, looking away. “I guess I just didn’t know what to do. I sorta freaked out, to be honest.”

Now Kai really felt bad.

“Geez, Shane, I’m really sorry,” she apologized, sighing. “I had no idea I was making you feel so uncomfortable. I promise I’ll leave you alone from now on.”

“Oh.”

Kai felt shock stun her when she recognized the tone of his voice.

He was disappointed.

“Unless,” she began slowly, “you don’t . . . want me to?”

Shane’s face went red. “Yeah. That.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Kai felt as if a whale had been lifted off her chest.

“I’ll see you soon, then?”

“Yeah.” Shane cleared his throat, heading back to the saloon. He paused in his step. “Thanks for the drink, by the way.” He waited a beat before quickly adding, “And it’s blue, if you’re still wondering about the favorite color thing. So, yeah.” With that, Shane rushed back in, leaving Kai in the cool of the oncoming night.

Blue. Kai kept that in mind as she walked home, feeling lighter than she had in years.

[crispyanonartnsfw]

It stood the test of enough commutes, so here it is !! A Sambastian Mixtape

If the comic idea was a TV series (pffft), this would be the soundtrack, so the songs are in chronological order. The lyrics are pretty on the nose but in case you're curious I break it down below

(I made this playlist for myself because I would like to draw the comic someday... Maybe one day... For now, I only have the music lol)

These are the first and the last song of each section for reference. I'll stay superficial bc you don't need to know the depths of my brainrot, just know that the songs are mostly either from Sam or Seb POV, few of them from other's characters POVs, and in the second half are mostly shared POV. I tried to keep all the songs in what I think are their vibes but sometimes my hand slipped for the sake of the plot I had in my head not me putting Lorde and LDR in a Sambastian playlist

✶ Ribs - Lorde ⏭ Cigarette Daydreams - Cage The Elephant

Sam and Sebastian are in their teens, they grew up attached to the hip and figured they always will be. Sebastian lightheartedly realizes there might be something more, which could be true for Sam as well if he wasn't half unaware half in denial because that's not how things are supposed to go. Surely he just loves his best friend so much and it's nothing more complicated then that! Right?? But Seb's feelings slowly become heavier and that mixed with the fact that he refuses to accept help for anything from anyone starts to strain the relationship as time passes.

✶ Let it happen - Tame Impala ⏭ Somewhere only we know - Keane

Bad times. Seb is depressed and it doesn't help that Sam and his savior complex are dating Penny (and they are actually good for each other for a while). Sebastian retaliates with Alex, something that Sam disapproves because he was one of his bullies (PSA: my boy Alex is not a villain!! just closeted young and struggling). Is it protectiveness or jealousy? That's between him and god. Much general angst when you add severe growing pains and bad mental health to a broken heart. They end up taking time apart and not seeing each other again. It's hard.

✶ If I ever feel better - Phoenix ⏭ Simple Song - The Shins

Healing hours 🖤 They really needed to work on themselves first and foremost. They figure out stuff, Sebastian fixes his relationship with Maru, Sam is finally honest with himself about his own issues. Friends help. Eventually, they meet again. They easily fit right back together and tentatively work out their feelings.

✶ Read My Mind - The Killers ⏭ Here It Goes Again - OK Go

It's Goblin Destroyer time!! Sam, Seb and Abby are living in Zuzu city, playing concerts, fighting the system, breaking the rules and having the time of their lives. Questionable decisions never looked so good (Peak ASS trio energy btw). Chaos and euphoria ensue. Everything seems perfect until-

✶ Social Cues - Cage The Elephant ⏭ Good Riddance (Time of your life) - Green Day

Why no one told them you never stop figuring shit out in life? Age 30 crisis. Goblin Destroyer are over. They wonder about what direction to take with their lives, and everything seems bittersweet. This time though, they are together, and that makes it all possible - and bearable. They did it before and they'll do it again, they're going to be alright.

✶ Everlong - Foo Fighters ⏭ Praise You - Fatboy Slim

When you've already spent a lifetime together, something very special inevitably takes form. I was thinking about their new timeskipped vibe once they get older and lose the dumbass energy (at least some of it) in favor of a deeper devotion (Hi Hozier). I might keep adding to this. This part is not chronological, truly just Sambastian basking in their love and celebrating everything they've accomplished

(and I'm just an old sap, byeeee)

By the way it's crispy talking: I had to take out several songs that were a bit too freaky lol, that would be a different playlist, also Body Talks is fully about @lily-alphonse 's Lonely Dancers fic, I had to include it 😇

[hockybish]

Birthday Moments: Mason

l hughes!sister au l lola hughes l mason x lola l

January 30, 2024

"Happy Birthday Mase!" Lola smiled brightly. She held out a little cupcake with a single candle in it. "Make a wish and blow out the candle!"

Mason took the little cake and made his wish. He broke the cupcake in half and shared part of the delicacy with the pretty girl he had a crush on.

"Did your wish come true?" Lola asked at the end of the night. Mason shook his head no. There was no way his wish was coming true this year. Maybe next year. "What was it?"

"Can't it's a secret. It might now come true if I spill" Mason smiled to himself. There was always next year.

one year later

Mason looked around the airport, trying to see if Lola was there. They were meeting up during the all star break and going on a little vacay together, just the two of them.

Lola spotted her boyfriend standing by himself and took off running towards him. She launched herself into his arms when she got close enough and gave him a birthday kiss.

"Mmm thank you" he hummed happily

"For what?" Lola cocked her head to the side.

"My wish from last year was a kiss for my birthday .... from you" Mason smirked going in for another kiss, this was going to be a good year.

January 30, 2027

Once again it was his birthday and Mason was out at some bar. He and Lola weren't going to be together this year, but the boys were more than willing to help make up for that by taking him out.

hey you alone?

Mason didn't have a chance to say anything back as he received a video from her. Not really he opened it and started watching. It started off by Lola dancing.

"Oh shit" Mason got a little flustered and dropped his phone on the table when Lola started to take off her clothes and her movements began getting a bit more risqué.

"What are you watching?" Trevor reached for the device. Mason attempted to snag it at the same time, but Trevor got it first. There wasn't anything new he hadn't seen already, aside from a new tattoo she had in her ribs.

"Oh my god, my eyes" he threw the phone as well. This garnered the attention of the others in their party, who were now interested to know what was up.

Mason quickly pocketed his phone. He used the bathroom quickly and headed home where he could fully appreciate the video. The next day Lola gave him a call in-between interviews and events.

"Like your present?"

"Yes, but not before half the guys saw it and I had to take of my hard on in the bathroom"

January 30, 2032

"She's kicking again. Feel feel feel" Lola took Mason's hand. She placed it where she could feel babygirl moving around. Only as soon as he touched her belly babygirl stopped. This happened a lot.

"She stopped again." Mason sighed removing his hand from her belly. "Let's just face it, she hates me already"

"No she doesn't! She just doesn't know you. You've been gone a lot and she- wait a minute" Lola turned around, she felt a couple of jabs against her kidney.

"Young lady, you gotta be nice to your daddy. Especially today. It's his birthday, how nice would that be? Agree?" Lola rubbed her stomach.

They tried again, this time Mason felt the little wave underneath his palm. A smile spread on his face. He crouched down to kiss her stomach.

"Hi Sweetie. It's daddy. I love you so much" He talked to her.

January 30, 2038

"Shh Zu, be quiet, we gotta surpise Daddy" Lacey held her baby sister and snuck into their parents bedroom with Lola trailing them with a little full of breakfast things.

Mason heard them, he had already been awake for a couple of hours now, but chose to pretend to be asleep to play into their "surprise."

Lacey placed Zuzu on the bed and climbed up after her. Zuzu went straight for Mason's face, smacking him with her little hands, biting his nose and cooing at him. Lacey just jumped on him eliciting an oof from him.

"Wake up Daddy, it's your birfday!" Lacey jumped on Mason, eliciting an oof from him, and effectively getting him up.

"It's my birthday? No way. I thought my birthday was last year." he took the baby off his face.

"Daddy!" Lacey rolled her eyes. She handed him a picture she drew of him with her and Zuzu and they ate donuts.

[babiebom]

When You Fall (VI)

A/N: these next two chapters are filler chapters so they will be shorter. When I said slow burn I MEANT IT. This is my first time writing something that I am trying to take slowly and develop the relationship. Please feel free to give me tips!

Tw: Clinics, talks of depression/su*cide, cursing.

Wc: 1.1k

Previous Next Masterlist

When your eyes open again you are back in Harvey's clinic. You can tell by the white of the ceiling, the smell of bleach, and how irritatingly bright the lights are. Sitting up, your head pounds painfully. For a second you have no recollection of what happened, then you remember. You got your ass beat by a sentient blob of jello.

Hearing movement outside the room, you cringe into yourself. You weren't trying to get yourself killed or hurt this time…you were at first but you weren't when you got knocked out. That had to count for something, right? Maru and Harvey wouldn't be upset would they? You weren't even friends with them, but the thought of them being disappointed in you made your stomach twist uncomfortably. You suck in a breath and wait for one or both of them to come in. They should be checking on you soon, right?

The ticking of the clock did nothing to ease your worries, and instead echoed around your brain, stirring up the thoughts as if it were kids kicking up dust, and neither did picking at the iv in your arm help anything. After a while, the sound of steadily nearing voices makes your heart jump, and despite the feeling of wanting to pretend to be asleep you stay sitting up, now staring at the wall across from the door.

The door opened softly, and the voices quieted down as they entered. You could hear one more pair of footsteps and almost believed they had called your mother before remembering what had led you to this place to begin with. You squash down a sob as whoever it is enters, seeing Harvey, Maru and the blonde guy from the Saloon.

"Ah! You’re awake!" Harvey smiled softly as he approached you, you nod offering him a watery smile. The embarrassment began its climb up your throat, making it burn. There was no hint of disappointment or judgment in the man’s eyes, yet you felt it in your soul. There was no reason for him to be nice, maybe he was happy you kept getting hurt so you had to give him money, but even that thought was stupid with how nice the man was. “Do you feel okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine…” you peer at him through your eyelashes, watching him write something on a notepad. You panic for a second, worried he was writing something on that notepad that would either change everything, or change his opinion of you. You swallow and clear your throat, staring at the wall next to his head.

“You know those stupid jello things in the caves are hard to…kill…”

Harvey looks up at you without surprise. He just smiles softly and continues writing on his notepad and it does nothing to stop your nerves. You didn’t know him well, and that meant you didn’t know how he was going to react. Knowing doctors though, they get all in your business and you didn’t want that.

“So unfortunately, you’re going to have to stay here for another night. I had to give you fluids and monitor you all night because of how badly you were beaten, as well as how exhausted you were. Your body is in no condition to do any farm work or even move around much for today. You need to heal.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“What’re you writing?”

He chuckled at you, “just writing some prescriptions for when I release you tomorrow, just some antidepressants, and something to help with any pain. I’m sending the prescription to Zuzu City so they can be shipped by tomorrow or at least sometime this week.”

“Oh…” your body deflated in relief. Just some antidepressants that you weren’t going to take, good. For a minute you worried he was going to ship you off somewhere to be evaluated. The blonde guy and Maru chatted behind him, not paying attention to you until Harvey leaves the room then they approach.

Maru sighs as soon as she gets to you, her hands resting on your arms as she stares at you, her eyebrow’s furrowed. “I was so worried about you! I can’t believe you almost died!”

You force out a chuckle, allowing her to hold your arm. It seemed like she actually cared, and the blonde guy also looked somewhat worried, which was odd as he didn’t seem interested in you before. “I didn’t really mean to get hurt. Those stupid jello things overwhelmed me and when I tried to escape I guess I forgot to make sure they weren’t behind me.”

“Jello things?”

“Yeah? Down in the mines. They’re like sentient, see through, make gross squishing sounds?”

“Oh…no one really goes down into the mines except for that man that lives near us in the mountains and sometimes Clint.”

“Well, the things are little assholes and I hate them.”

“I’m glad my brother noticed that you had went in! Otherwise you would probably be dead.”

“Huh?”

The blonde guy looked sheepish, scratching the back of his head and smiling. Maru looked over at him in confusion, and you sat there confused. Her brother saw you go into the mines? “Yeah, Sebastian went down and saved you…he would’ve been here but he had to work or something. He sent me to make sure you were okay.”

You nod, mind blank with the knowledge that it wasn’t that you were lucky and somehow made it out to a place where someone had found you. Now you were embarrassed knowing the fact that some random guy you met ONCE saved your life and didn’t even stick around to make sure you were okay. You didn’t want nor need him to stick around, it just hurt a little.

“Well, thank him for me when you see him! Tell him I owe him a favor.” Sam nods in response, standing there awkwardly until he makes up an excuse to leave.

Over the next couple of hours your mind can’t help but go back to the knowledge that Sebastian saved you. Honestly, you thought that it was probably Marlon that had dragged you out of there, and you could’ve sworn that you had pressed the button to go up, but then again maybe you didn’t. The last ten minutes of you being in the mines was a little blurry.

You couldn’t even respond properly when Harvey cuts out the lights, bidding you good night before locking up the building. God, you had to clean up your act. Now that someone has had to save you, twice that is, meant that your actions were burdening others, which was something you didn’t want at all.

Hopefully those antidepressants help, otherwise actually putting effort towards recovering is going to be hell.

[thedevilsoftruth]

Tomorrow: Shane's Journal

I had this idea for a long time, and that idea was to write 5 journal entries going through important time stamps of Shane's life. These entries are written through the lens of Shane himself, almost as if he actually wrote them. Nothing stated in here is 100% cannon. These are all simply headcanons I have of Shane and his life, and i hope you all enjoy it!

For clarity, I think Stardew takes place in 2016, given that's when it was released, and i also hc Shane to be 35, so he was born in 1981 in this fic. A little bit random, but that's just something to chew on.

Tw: This fic goes over very sensitive topics such as suicide, mentions of self-harm, shootings, depression, alcohol addiction, childhood trauma, and a lot of Atheism.

◇◇◇

September 8th, 1996

Hey god, if you're listening, why are you doing this to me? I've tried and tried and tried all I could, all day, every day. No matter what people threw at me, I still fucking took it because I didn't want to end up being a dead beat like my stupid fucking father. I'm sorry. I'm angry. What's the point of fucking living if everyday I'm in goddamn pain, and If all my nights are spent sleepless as I sob? I've prayed and prayed and prayed for things to get better, but nothing is getting better, and I want to die. The only thing good in my life right now is my gridball team. My parents don't fucking love me, I'm a failure to everyone I know. I'm starting to think this world would be better off without me.

God, please, help me. Guide me to a newfound happiness, please. I can't go on like this anymore. I want to have hope, I need to have hope. It's what Marnie tells me every day. But I can't if things continue to go to shit. Well, im going to lie down now. Tomorrow is a new day... right?

- Shane .H

September 10th, 1996

You're a liar, you're a fucking liar. Screwed up, fucked up, arrogant, selfish liar. I was blind to your lies, deceived by the promised hope of a good life, and yet you took my hope and smashed it against the wall. I hate you. I hate all of you. I want to cut myself and die as I bleed out.

Everyone is turning against me. Ethan wasn't there for me when I told him to stay outside my aunt's house last night. My mother tried to kill me last night, and my father wouldn't dare to bat an eye at me. I don't know what I fucking did to deserve this. Mom hurt Marnie. Everyone was screaming, I felt like my ears were going to bleed. I ran away. Mom tried to throw a knife at me, so I ran away. Ethan got me high before that and was supposed to stay outside of Marnies ranch for me incade anything happened, but he fled afterward.

They had told me they didn't want me at Marnies house anymore when they were gone. But I couldn't stop myself. They hadn't been home in a week, and I needed comfort. They are always fucking gone they are always never home or.... used to not always be home.

I stayed at Micheal's house last night. I went back to Marnie's this morning. My parents killed themselves an hour after I left. They did it in front of Marnie, and she couldn't do anything to stop them. They wouldn't listen to her. Marine is going to be my guardian. We're going to make frequent trips to Zuzu city for our therapy sessions.

I don't think I'll be going back to school. I hate myself. I hate my life. My parents died because of me. I wasn't a good son, I never was. Maybe if I had been better and didn't get high, sneak out, or get bad grades all the time, they would have loved me. But if there's anything I hate the most at the moment other than myself, it's you, God.

- Shane .H

November 27th, 2010

I thought I was getting better. I thought things were going to be okay. I haven't taken therapy since I was 20. I'm gonna need it after today because I'm having the biggest downward spiral since 1996. I started to believe again. I started to read the Bible and pray because things were getting better, but all of this shit coming back to me tells me that there is no God up in the sky. It's a joke. A stupid dumb lie that innocent people like myself get mind-fucked into believing is real. But it's not. It's a load of fucking shit.

God took away everything that I have ever loved in my entire life and hollowed out my soul until I was nothing, and left me with stupid fucking priorities that I can't fucking handle! I didn't want a child. Not now, not ever. This child isn't mine. How am I supposed to fucking provide for her, if I'm working 9 hours a godamn week at a fucking grocery store? Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

One second, I'm at a fair with my two best friends i haven't seen in years who are parents now, the other second they're killed in a shooting and I'm stuck with their fucking kid!

I don't want this, I don't fucking want this at all. Kill me, please, God. I can't even write this with how shaky my fucking hands are. I wish I never crossed paths with Micheal, even if it's been 12 years since I've seen him. I can't do this. I can't go on anymore. Tell me one reason why I shouldn't put a bullet in my head like my fucking parents did?! Fuck you, and fuck your stupid fucking cult, and fuck your beliefs, and fuck it all!!!

- Shane .H

December 23rd, 2016

I love you, Marnie. I love you, Jas. I love you, Michael and Alejandra. I love you, Mom and Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm a failure. All I've ever done to you all was bring you pain. I'm a dead beat. I don't deserve your kindness or your patience. I'm a fat, alcohol addicted, low-life, dick face who's never made any achievement in life. I can't even get myself out of bed in the morning. I black out almost every night from drinking too much. I could never get a good job here in the fucking town.

My life has brought me nothing but pain. Nobody wants someone lin their life who can't even do something as simple as brushing their teeth.. I'm nothing but a mere parasite, eating away at people's lives.

I'm sorry, im sorry, I'm sorry, but today is the day.

You won't have to deal with me anymore, and I can finally be free from this never-ending hell.

Goodbye, world.

- Shane .H

December 23rd, 2018

2 years. I've been sober for 2 years now.

On this day, two years ago, I tried to end my life. I almost drank myself to death, but a farmer noticed me near the cliff and supported me. They brought me to a hospital, and I went back to Zuzu city to try therapy again. It's still embarrassing when I think about it. Those memories don't make me nearly as sad anymore, I just get... kind of embarrassed. It's like... wow, I was like that? What an asshole, hehe.

Well, my sobriety isn't the only thing I'm proud of.

Jas is eight years old now! I finally saved up enough to move out of Marnies and into the city. I got a new job, and I have a cousin here who is watching over Jas during the day after she comes home from school. She has a lot of friends now and is boy crazy... oh dear, I still don't like the thought of that. My hours aren't the best, but it makes me money and keeps a roof over our heads. I work on service tech. I didn't know I liked cars so much, haha! Everyone there is really cool and nice, and it's helped me with coming out of my shell a little bit.

On holidays, me and Jas go back to Stradew Valley to see Marnie. We have frequent calls with her, and I also make sure to pay the farmer a visit. Jas and I bake them cookies as a thanks for literally saving my life. Sometimes she eats them in the car...

Well, anyway, I start work in a little bit. Just wanted to let everything all out. Today is a new day, after all.

- Shane .H

[deepestnightcolor]

Hi! I love your writing and how you picture Sam 💛 Could I make a request? Like Sam taking the farmer to Zuzu City? Could be something romantic? Something else 👀 Sam sharing part of his past maybe? It's up to you, thank you 💖

ᴀ/ɴ: Hehe...So I can explain, really! No, I can't really. I don't know what happened here, my fingers had a mind of their own and this just happened! I hope you will enjoy! Thank you so, so much for your request and the compliment <3 I love writing Sammy Wammy!

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x GN!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 2608 words

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: trauma, angst, daddy issues(?) THERE'S ALSO FLUFF AND SOFTNESS!

☾ ʙʟɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ʟɪɢʜᴛꜱ ☽

He was fidgeting next to you in his bus seat, and he had been for the last half an hour, worsening the closer the two of you got to Zuzu City. It was either his leg bouncing up and down, or his fingers wandering through his hair, just to comb it back into place moments later. Every now and then he shifted around on the seat as he tried to get comfortable, just to return to bouncing his leg.

You had been watching Sam, your hand wrapped around his, thumb rubbing soothing circles into the skin. You had rarely ever seen him so nervous. Energetic, yes, but this was pure and simple nervousness. Still, you hadn’t dared to ask about it just now, knowing that he would tell you about it when he was ready.

“Oh, look, a baby cow!” You called out, leading your intertwined hands to the window to point at the passing baby animal. A chuckle rumbled from next to you, a pair of blue eyes being mirrored by the window. “Like you don’t have some running around your farm almost every year?” He teased back, making you smile at his reflection. “Well, you see me almost every day and still get excited like a lovesick puppy when you see me, don’t you?” Another chuckle, lighter than the first one had been. His chin found its way on your shoulder so he could follow the blur of scenery with you; his voice now incredibly close to your ear. “Guilty as charged and yet blameless,” he murmured against the shell of your ear, pressing a soft kiss to it, falling back into his seat.

Sam had surprised you with his wish to go to Zuzu City pretty much the evening before. He wanted to show you something, he had explained. Refresh some memories, maybe. He had been very vague in his reasoning, but the look in his eyes had told you everything you needed to know; that he needed you there with him. And who were you to refuse your Sammy boy? You had gotten up a little earlier than usual to care for all the animals, even early enough to get under the shower and throw on a fresh change of clothes before meeting Sam at the bus stop. He hadn’t been nervous then, but there had been a rubber band around his hand, which meant there was something he didn’t want to forget. Instead of asking him, you had pressed a kiss to his lips, enjoying his bubbly conversation as you got on the bus. However, his flow of words had slowly begun to cease the further you had gone from Pelican Town, and instead, his nervous fidgeting had picked up.

“Look, Zuzu.” His words were barely audible. A mere whisper, almost drowning in the sound of the growling motor. Still, you had heard it, and you had looked ahead to see the city building up in the distance. The sight always filled you with a feeling of dread and thankfulness. Memories of Joja cooperate bleeding into the feeling of hope you had when you took the leap and started your journey to become a farmer. You were pretty certain these conflicted feelings would have an impact on your voice as well, but Sam’s was filled with a hint of fear, an edge of respect. It made you wrap your arm around him, press a kiss to his cheek. Whispering “You’ll be fine, I am here,” in his ear. Sam gave you a smile of gratitude, almost shooting up from his seat when the bus came to a halt.

Hesitation kept him in place, but then his hand reached out for yours again, only moving forward when he felt the warmth of your palm against his, and how your fingers ghosted over his skin. He wordlessly took the bag you had brought, shouldering it while the two of you hopped off the bus.

There was no need to ask the blond what you would do now; his long legs set a fast pace, leaving you no other option but to follow. You stumbled through streets that you had once known and that seemed to be natural to Sam. He weaved the two of you through the onslaught of pedestrians, working against the flow like he had never done anything that wasn’t this. Every five steps he looked over his shoulder to check if you were still following him, as if his hand didn’t hold you to him like a leash. Not that you minded, quite the contrary; While Sam seemingly had no problem navigating through the masses of bodies, through the twists and turns of the city, you certainly weren’t used to this anymore.  It was loud and fast and felt like everyone was pulling you away from your beloved, like they were tugging at you. Too many bodies, too much noise, and you could have sworn that the two of you were getting lost in the city’s gaping mouth- until you weren’t.

Sam had abruptly halted in front of an apartment complex, his eyes searching the rows of windows for a particular one. Suddenly, his hand flew forward, pointer finger leading your gaze to a window that seemed like all the others, but had the man’s finger trembling. “That’s…That’s where it all started.”

If this had been a video game, you would have been sure that any moment now a soft soundtrack would start playing, underlining the impact that this place had taken on Sam, but also pointing out the trust he must feel toward you to be sharing this with you right now.

“We were living here. That was the window to my room – if you squint closely, you can still see the imprints my stickers have left on the window…I put them there when mom wasn’t looking. We didn’t get them off- not until we moved, anyway. When we moved they complied almost immediately. It felt hopeless when I peeled them off. Like the last act of rebellion was giving in…”

He bit around his lower lip, obviously considering if he should go on. Really share this with you. What if you thought he was weird? Melodramatic? But then there were your words. So soft, so understanding. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me…But I am here. To listen. To support you.” Since there wasn’t any music, you pressed around his hand, trying to underline how serious you were. It seemed enough for your boyfriend.

“We moved around a lot, you know? And I always…Ya know, I always was the class clown in school, but that didn’t mean I had many friends,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, “moving around a lot meant changing schools a lot. And this… this was the first place I erm…I felt good to be at. I didn’t feel completely hopeless when entering like I did everywhere else. We got settled here. Mom really worked on making this place our place. It felt like…Yes, like we would settle. Even my grades got better, hah! I don’t think I ever got grades that high again.” His knuckles turned white with how hard he was holding on to his backpack strap, the fond smile that had been adorning his lips now a bitter grimace. “It was summer. Hot and loud, like today. I think Vince was about three when we got the letter. I picked it up, and it felt like…Like it was fucking burning my hand. I don’t know. It felt weird, it gave me the urge to throw it away. But it was my father’s, and who was I to throw my father’s stuff away? Especially a letter? Now I wish I did, but- but I didn’t. I brought it to him, I was happy that awful shit of paper was off of my skin and the feeling slowly stopped prickling on my hand…But when I saw my father’s face. Fuckin’ hell. He looked at me like I had told him I had gotten three girls pregnant and was running away from them – so disappointed and angry. He told me to go to my room, and really, fucking really, I had never been so confused in my LIFE.”

Sam had now begun wandering up and down in front of the building like an animal caught and chained to a wall, too nervous and fierce to sit still and accept its fate, but too weak to break free and run away. You followed his steps, attempting to show him that you were here by kissing his arm and sometimes knuckles, by just humming and caressing him, and it seemed to work as he slowed his steps.

“Turns out – he was called in for the war. I delivered the news that my father was going to war, you know? My dad, a garbage man. Drafted for a war. From then on out, it was like doom had moved in with us. Mom and dad kept having screaming matches in the bedroom. My mom didn’t know what she should do, my dad screaming back that he would serve, as that’s what he needed to do. For this country, for us. My dad, barely able to look me in the eye anymore. Me, not knowing what I had done, why I was to blame.”

There was a smile on his face, this time sour. “Can you believe blaming your kid for having to go to war?” He sighed, and you only now realized that he was sweating. You felt helpless, as if you saw the little blond boy right in front of you, so pained, so confused- “I tried to make it up to him first because I felt like I had to. Showing him my best grades, showing him the new skills I had learned. Showing him projects I started, but he didn’t- he told me he had more important things at hand. The screaming matches kept up, and I- I don’t know. I stopped paying attention at school again. The friends I had were the only comfort I had – my dad apparently hated me, and my mom was so busy with Vincent and preparing for my dad’s absence…Don’t get me wrong. She did everything for us. But- I didn’t feel seen. I felt invisible at home, but I had my friends.  At some point, though, they sat me down and told me we would move. To Pelican Town, where it was safe. Safer than here, at least. I threw a complete temper tantrum, kicked the table, yelled at them. I even ran out on the streets. When my mom found me the next morning, she had a similar look in her eyes as dad, but she was…defeated. Done.”

He inhaled sharply, a quiver making his voice unsteady. “. We packed our stuff, we packed our car and then we went to Pelican Town, it didn’t matter how much I begged. It didn’t matter that I barricaded myself in the room. It didn’t matter that I told them that this was home. We packed, and we went.  The car ride was so, so silent. Eerily so. Not even the radio played. I…erm. I believed that at least the doom that moved in with us would stay behind, in that small apartment in the city. But it followed us. Mom and dad didn’t scream anymore. They seemed…done. I think the implications of dad going to war, the possibilities…They finally kicked in. They kicked in for me, too. What I had delivered to my dad that day. What it meant. What it could lead to.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Sam.” “I know that now. I have always supressed this memory, always supressed that guilt. My dad even hugged me when he had to go and told me he was sorry. That he loved me. But… the ghost of these last memories here have been haunting me, and…and I needed to let them go. I needed to bring them back here and let them go.” Sam finally turned around to you, allowing you to see his face. Tears had left a trail behind on his heated-up cheeks, and more were falling from these precious blue eyes that you had fallen in love with. You wrapped your arms around him, which had something snap in Sam. His shoulders tensed as he sobbed into your neck, his fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt, scared you would fade just like the good memories in that apartment had, good slowly being replaced by the darkness of the threatening unknown. But you wouldn’t fade.

You allowed Sam to cry in your arms, holding his shaking body to yours, making yourself his rock in the turbulent seas of his emotions, making yourself steady for him so he could break down. Sam held you and sobbed, tears flowing into your shirt. “Wasn’t your fault, Sammy,” you whispered, kissing his head.

You didn’t know how long you were standing there, holding Sam to you while he cried. You didn’t care, either. At some point, though, loud sobs ebbed into soft sniffles, the stream of tears ceasing against your soaked shirt. Sam’s shoulders slumped, his grip on you slowly loosening, instead holding you now as well. He held you like you held him, before slowly lifting his head. He swallowed thickly, slowly looking down at you, who was still holding him. You were still there. You smiled up at him, rubbing your thumb over his wet cheeks. “How about…we replace those memories with some good ones? Some that make you feel good when thinking of Zuzu?” Sam didn’t have much time to answer you, because this time, you dragged him along. If you still remembered correctly, there was an old music shop around the main street somewhere, and you had the feeling some sweet music would do your pained beloved just right. His eyes went big when he saw the shop, his pace almost immediately picking up. “Fuck, I always wanted to come here!” You laughed as you followed along, allowing your boyfriend’s sudden burst of excitement luring you in. You were watching your boyfriend stare at the records in awe as he wandered the aisles. “Look, babe! The song that reminds me of you!” He called out, holding up a record. Cursive letters revealed Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love”, blue eyes that still held a hint of the boy you had seen just mere moments before now slowly sparkling at you. Like sunshine catching in freshly fallen raindrops. And Yoba, how you loved him.

It had taken hours for you to wander the city, your bag on Sam’s back had been joined by several others you had gathered on your shopping spree. One of his hands was still holding onto yours as you passed the house again. The blond slowly came to an halt mustering the building with a sense of melancholy. He had had to leave a safe space, but he had found new ones. In Seb, in his house in Pelican Town, in Vincent, and most importantly; in you. Finally, he was ready to let go.

He drew in a long breath, his eyes wandering to the window above you one last time. With a tilt of his head, he realized that the imprint of the stickers he had once left there were no longer there; faded like the curtains that fluttered in the wind. “I…I think I am ready to go.” “Are you? We can stay for a little longer if you want.” He shook his head, wiping over his eyes. “I am ready to go home.”

[tynearshot]

Sai and Sebastian’s Past Relationships Part 1

Hi all! I just wanted to Give Sebastian and Sai more flavor and take you into their past relationships. Here’s Seb’s.

TW: Abusive relationships, bullying, censored slurs, sex, drugs and alcohol, family tension.

Sebastian:

Age 15.

It’s hard being a queer kid already, but being a queer kid in the boonies feels like living ten years in the past. Seb and the Pelican town kids didn’t have a highschool in their town, so they commuted via bus pretty far out. By this time, Seb was sure he was bisexual but didn’t dare explore that. He was already bullied: Skinny, vaguely non-white, Antisocial, mixed family and had his hair long, leaving room for all kinds of “you look like a girl” and f slurs. So, he was often found hiding out under the bleachers, where he met his first “boyfriend”. In quotes because this boyfriend was very much not out and would often throw out “I’m not into guys, I’m just into you”. The rising Gridball varsity player (not Alex He’s a couple years younger than Seb in my HC) and the pariah. A cute pair, set up to fail.

This “boyfriend” also would often stroke Sebastian’s hair and comment that he’d ‘make a very pretty girl’ or ‘I wish you were a girl so we could be open’. Sebastian never cared that he was called feminine, but he hated hearing that from his boyfriend. He hated feeling “wrong” to someone he cared about, but at least it was something, he often reasoned.

They had… a pretty traumatic break up. Rumors went around that the two hung out (they did much more than that, including being each other’s first in a lot of ways). And the grid ball team confronted Sebastian accusing him of trying to corrupt their grid ball star with his “f***** germs”. And who was there to back the bullies up and keep silent but Seb’s boyfriend. Pushed down, roughed up verbally and physically, Seb confronted his boyfriend privately: “why didn’t you stick up for me, why would you let them do that, don’t you know you’re bi too?! I thought you loved me”… Seb wanted to say all this. But instead went “If you ever try to talk to me, call me or even look at me ever again, I’ll let everyone who the real fucking f***** is…”

One of Seb’s lowest points. One day while crying he felt his hair in his hand and remembered how his boyfriend stroked the left side of his head. Disgusted, he promptly gave himself an asymmetrical haircut. Luckily he had Sam around to cheer him up with some goofs and Abby around to clown him, but trim/clean up his new haircut. A rough first love, but a first love all the same.

Age 18

Sebastian was tired of the “what will you do now?” “Don’t you know you’re wasting your potential?” questions he was getting from his Mom and stepdad. In a fit of emotions, he packed a bag and rode to the edges of ZuZu city. The night he arrived, he was so full of feelings and just wanted to be numb. Drinking, clubs, drugs, parties, sex with strangers, all things he wasn’t ready for. He couldn’t be the good kid his parents wanted and he couldn’t be a “delinquent” either. So who was he? It all came down as he crumpled into a ball on some random stoop. The stoop happened to be that of his next partner, Grad student, Hae-Jin.

Hae-Jin invited Seb in, and let him stay to figure himself out. And with Seb at his most vulnerable, it was a quick and passionate week long courtship. Hae-Jin was good to him. They even convinced him to go back home and try and reconcile with his family (that’s a story for another time). They then were long distance for a year and he’d go and visit them as much as he could afford the gas to. But as time went on, the relationship soured. Seb began to feel like a secret again. And he kinda was. Hae-Jin was 24 and offhandedly would mention “My friends’ll call me a cradle robber.” Seb began to resent that. “They had a problem with my age but not with sleeping with me?”

At the same time, Hae-Jin would often pressure Seb to move in. It got worse when Har-Jin would accuse Seb of being “immature” and “indecisive” about them moving in together. Sebastian began to feel like he had less and less agency in this relationship. How was that any different than what was going on at home? He thought Hae-Jin cared for him, that they belonged with each other. But he felt more and more that Hae-Jin just wanted to “have him.” No better than a pet.

Hae-Jin gave him an ultimatum “Stay with me or go back to the middle of nowhere”. He chose to go back, in his mind, better the devil you know.

Age 23 and Up

Seb wasn’t really interested in dating after Hae-Jin. He focused on programming, his bike, and trying to stay sane as he rots away in his basement. Maybe every blue moon on one of his long bike rides, he’d make out with some stranger outside a gas station, bike shop just to… I don’t know, feel something. But that got tiring. He was tired. Tired of feeling like he had no say in anything he wanted. He had none at home, in past romances. At that point, he didn’t even know if he wanted anything.

Enter : Sai Peachtree

Thanks if you read this far!✨ I’ll be writing Sai’s soon!

[lyra-r05e]

It's halfway through the week, which means halfway til the next chapter drops. I know you guys are desperate for an update after their fight, so here's a snippet from Chapter 19 - Escape which will be posted on Sunday, Dec 1.

Here's the ao3 link: What Friends are For (Explicit)

Sebastian takes a long drag of his cigarette, hating himself for how much he missed the nicotine buzz. Leaning against the cold grey bricks of the hostel he's staying at, he stares out into the street, surprised how much traffic there is this late at night. It's loud. He's been to Zuzu before, but only for the odd day trip. The bustling city was always an exciting novelty during those trips. Now, the noise is just that - noise. It's not rhythmic or familiar enough to act as white noise, and it's not quite loud enough to drown out the noise in his mind.

And it stinks here. He can't afford to stay in the nicer parts of town. The stench from the density of people alone makes a shocking contrast to the crisp mountain air from his home. On top of that, the bars are full since it's Saturday, so the streets linger of booze, late night food joints and car exhaust. At least the stench of his cigarette gives him some familial comfort.

He feels like a fucking idiot, coming here. How naive to think this ‘plan’ of his was a good idea. To be fair, he hasn't given his escape to the city much thought in recent months, but he always had the same plan mapped out. Come to this cheap hostel, find a job, get an apartment. Easy, right?

Easy when it's a far off fantasy, when it's not something he'd ever be brave enough to do. He's way out of his depth here. Even with all the money he's put aside, it's only enough to last about 2, maybe 3 weeks tops before he needs a job.

Everything is more expensive here. There's no kitchen in his hostel, just a room and a bathroom. Not much different than a prison cell, really. But this means he has to buy food. If he's lucky enough to get a job interview right away, he needs to buy some nicer clothes. And get a haircut. And pay for transit, or parking. 2 weeks is generous, realistically. 3 is near impossible.

You wanted this, he tells himself, savouring the cigarette until it's so tiny he has to put it out. And it's true, he really did want it. So badly it was basically his whole personality at one point, shitting on Pelican town and being desperate to leave. Fuck, he must have been insufferable to be around.

His scrolling through job postings is interrupted by your call. He stares at your name, frozen in time as the vibrations in his palm continue. She wanted me to do this, he sighs in frustration, remembering the morning argument. He can't crawl back home with his tail between his legs now, it would shatter what's left of his pride.

You said you wouldn't consider anything serious with him unless he could do this. Until he ‘finds himself,’ or whatever. If he fails, you'll think he's a pathetic loser not worthy of your love. There's no other option. He can't look back now.

He lets the call go to voicemail, scars of the fight resurfacing. You were happy to be with him in secret, pretending to be a couple. But he’s too sad and pathetic for you. Embarrassingly reliant on his mom’s free basement suite, not properly educated or able to find a consistent source of income. Sebastian scoffs, lighting another cigarette. I wouldn't want to be seen with me either.

Sebastian resolves to make it easy for you to forget him. He resists the urge to listen to your voicemail, vowing to not give in and answer your calls. His phone buzzes again:

Text me in the morning, I just need to know you’re safe.

“Fuck,” he whispers, exhaling smoke. You’re worried about him. Of course you are. But he can do this, he's not an idiot. He knows common street sense, and he's resourceful. He made sure to not leave his bike helmet out when he parked here. He doesn't need your help, or your concern.

Better not answer any texts either.

[azsazz]

Currently reading “sticking together” and when Az brings up the clipping thing and says something about not exposing Zuzu to the possibility of that I could only imagine what if Zuzu did go and get her wings clipped? How would Az react? And then growing up to be the only illyrian female in the family to have clipped wings? How devastating that would be for Zuzu 😔

Just a really sad thought lol

Are you trying to hurt me?! Why….what did Zuzu do to deserve this? (I’ll indulge you but this is AU!Zuzu cuz idk if I can do that to my baby canonically)

Azriel would be fucking furious. First, he’d make sure that his little girl is safe. He’s staying with her throughout the entirety of the healers patching her up, holding her tightly to his chest while he lets her make a mess of his shirt with her tears. His hands shake as he runs them through her silky hair. He can’t coo soft words to her because he simply has no words and might not ever have any again. His little girl. Zuzu. The one who’s always begging to go out flying when he takes her older brothers, the one who tries to sneak after them as he walks his sons to training–

This time though. He doesn’t know how she managed to evade his shadows. You, who was still in the house fussing over the twins while Jax and Zuzu were playing stuffed animals in the living room. It had been easy to slide a chair over to the backdoor and climb up onto it to unlock the door. She knew how to put her boots on, she was old enough, no matter what Wren and Baz told her.

She couldn’t tie them though, and stumbled out into the powdery snow already trodden with her father and brothers footprints. By the time you’d made your way back to where Jax had started sobbing, a warning cry you’d later realized, she’d already been chasing after them.

Zuzu didn’t know her way around the camp, not really. She went to her training with the other little girls who laughed or shrunk away from her while her father watched over her. She was tough, probably the best in her class considering she has two older brothers and two cousins to wrestle with. But she wasn’t any match for the female who’d slipped out between the thicket of trees.

Zuzu yelped as the fingers curled around her arm, dragging her back. Another hand slapped over her mouth before she’d been able to cry, and she watched her brothers turn out of sight as she was dragged into the dense forest, fresh with snow.

It melted against her hot skin, seeping through her clothes. She had sharp nails, her brothers always complained about them. Even though the hiss she heard made her know that she’d cut skin, their hold didn’t break.

It must’ve been so scary for her, pinned to the ground as this female–wait. Zuzu has seen her before, at her trainings, patching up the little girls she’s had to fight to make a name for herself.

And he had been the one to find you both. First you, crying out the front door when you screamed loud enough to silence the entire camp. The pain in his chest made Azriel unable to breathe and the scream that tore through your body was also tearing through his. He grabbed his sons and winnowed to the house where you had made it as far as the bottom of the stairs, socks soaked with snow and sobs tearing through your mouth.

He’d tracked her easily but what he found would be engrained in him forever. The world seemed to still, even as his shadows tore from him and straight for the little girl bleeding in the snow. He noted the tears on her face, the clips in the females hands, the wetness of Zuzu’s clothing and the scent of her soil in the air. It clogged his throat, but the metallic tang of her blood choked him completely.

The female hadn’t lasted more than ten seconds after that.

Azriel watches everything the healers do to his daughter, shadows poised around their shoulders and ready to strike. It makes them nervous, keeping their eyes averted as they work. Each whimper of pain that leaves Zuzu’s mouth is another kill he’s going to make after this is done. There won’t be any of the camp left.

They’d called for Madja but the older healer wasn’t able to travel this far and Zuzu was much too delicate to winnow to Velaris so they were stuck with the healers. He’d threatened them both with his knife beneath their chins, matching pricks of blood itching their skin from the warning mark he’d given. “If you don’t save her wings, you will not live to see the moon rise.”

They worked diligently, but the firm set of the elder healers mouth told Azriel all he needed to know. He gripped his daughter closer.

**

Az rips the family from the mountains and no one’s been back since. They’ll train with them or with the Valkyries, he doesn’t care. The people in the mountains mean nothing to him anymore. And Rhys doesn’t send him back.

I think of course she’s going to be devastated, but somewhere down the line she accepts it. Her mother doesn’t even have wings at all, and look at how much she’s accomplished. Her Aunt Nesta doesn’t have wings. Neither do Amren or Mor. She’s surrounded by powerhouse females that don’t have the ability to fly either, and nothing stopped them. She becomes fond of Emerie because she knows first-hand what it’s like.

Her siblings and cousins have even created arial maneuvers that she can join in on, hands clasped as they swing her through the air so she can take down an attacker. She’ll have their back in any way that they can and she knows that they have hers too.

Azriel doesn’t stop looking for a way to heal her wings. Long nights, countless amounts of silver he gives for any information about this. He needs to do this, feels like his own wings are being ripped from his body every time he sees Zuzu watching her siblings soar through the air like she used to do.

Some day, when she’s older, she sternly tells him that she’s accepted it and he needs to or else.

And seeing how strong she is, how she’s not letting it hinder her in any way, shape, or form, makes him accept it as well.

[coolbeesbro]

Thank you @baambastic for tagging me in WIP Wednesday! Maybe this will finally hold myself accountable to finish this chapter.

The rules: Post an excerpt from your most recent WIP and then tag a bunch of people.

Here's a snippet from my Stardew Valley Fic "Distant Shore"

Nitya had been standing in the hallway of his parent’s home, nervously clutching a letter of acceptance in his hands, trying to figure out how to break the news to his parents that he didn’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer or any other profession they deemed “real jobs”. They’d spent so much time preparing him for the SATs and writing college application essays, and taking AP courses–

They were gonna be mad when he broke the news that the college he would be attending in Zuzu City wouldn’t be Bayside Law or Gully Harbor Technical Institute; but instead Greenwood College of Art & Design. 

From here, he could see into his mom and dad’s shared office space where his mom was sorting through papers or something on her desk, typing away on her laptop as she did so. He could only see the back of her head from here, watching as it shifted side to side as she looked between her notes and the laptop screen. 

His dad wouldn’t be home till later that night, which made now the best opportunity to bring this up. His mom was always more sympathetic, if not only a little bit more than his father. That and he also didn’t think he could handle them both head on at once. Not again after the coming out disaster.  

Granted, in the end it worked itself out; only making for a tension filled week as his parents did what they did best when they didn’t know or understand something. They sat down and researched.

He could only hope that things would work out that well for him again this time. But the logistics of grandkids and their son’s love life was one thing; his career choice and future was something completely different. His parents didn’t pay thousands upon thousands of dollars in the hopes of having a straight son. They did, however, spend that much for college prep courses, tests, tutors and so much more in the hopes that he’d take after one of them and go to a big name university and get a high paying job. 

“Mom?” Nitya’s voice was shaky and nervous as he stood in the hallway, debating whether to just back track and ask about how work went today, or just pretend he didn’t say anything and walk to his room. It wasn’t too late–

“Yes?” She said as she sat up and turned to see her son, and immediately she picked up that something was wrong, “Tya, sweetie, what’s wrong?” 

“I want to go to Greenwood.” The words tumbled from his lips faster than he could think of a different way to say it.

Her brows knit together, “I’m sorry, Greenwood?” She sounded confused as she stood up, “That art college we toured because you thought it would be fun to see the area?”

He nodded his head, clutching the acceptance letter in his hands in a vice grip, “Is… Is that ok?” his voice was just barely above a whisper, his heart thudding in his chest so fast that he felt like it’d either stop any second or he would get sick.

“Oh sweetheart,” His mother walked over and pulled him into a hug, “Do you think going there will make you happy?” She asked as she buried her face in his mess of curly hair.

“Yeah.” He choked out, not realizing he was shaking till this moment.

“You’ll be ok, Tya. If you’ll be happy there, I will support you.” She said as she squeezed him tightly in her arms.

“I’ll support you too.” He heard his father say behind him. He felt a firm hand on his shoulder give him a squeeze, “Whatever makes you happy, son.”

Except… That’s not how this happened. His parents faded away, leaving him to stand there trying to remember. 

No.

The correct scene flickered in front of him.

His mother was in tears, crying, pleading with him to not ruin everything he’d worked for, how it means so much for him and how he worked so hard and– 

His dad said nothing for a while. Quietly thinking to himself how much of a disappointment his only child had been, ‘An artist?’ his father would mutter to himself in disbelief, ‘A lazy man’s career. I can’t believe I raised such a lazy boy.’ 

Yeah, that was how it happened. It got better though. Why could he only see the parts of this milestone that made him so hurt and bitter? He missed them so much, what he wouldn’t give to just relive a pleasant memory with them? Like the paint class they took that summer, because when his parents didn’t understand, they did what they did best. They sat down and researched. 

They met him half way for the first time. Yet here he was standing here like a small creature, watching one of the hardest decisions, and the biggest argument he’d ever had with his parents play out. 

‘You think you’re an adult, ready to make a big decision like this on your own.’ his mother had said, ‘Well you’re not. Your brain hasn’t even fully developed, and you’re ready to throw your life away to go play with paints–

Nitya’s eyes snapped open and he shot up from his bed, almost knocking Dipper off in the process. His heart was racing so fast in his chest and he felt as though he might get sick. He needed to take deep breaths –inhale-exhale-inhale-exhale– he looked over to his phone to check the time.

3:08am

Nitya fell back into bed and tears began to well up in his eyes as a single thought stayed in his brain. Out of that whole dream, the unpleasant fight with his parents, the anxiety attack–none of that paled in comparison when he realized he no longer remembered what his parents sounded like. 

Those voices in the dream, it wasn’t theirs. It was missing his father’s accent, and his mother’s voice was completely different. He couldn’t remember it, he just knew that they were wrong. The thought that he might be forgetting his parents in any way was too much for him to deal with at 3:08am. His thoughts traveled to his old busted up phone that sat in the drawer of his nightstand, which once had old voicemails from them in it. Were they even there anymore? Was the device really busted beyond repair?

I'm not super sure who to tag for this, but @thereosheep and @the-artist-grimm since you guys have some cool COTL Au's going on?