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elliesfavbae · 6 months ago

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Are you nervous, flower? - first kiss with Ellie, part 1

synopsis: Your more experienced at kissing best friend helps you out

Pairing: Ellie Williams x unexperienced!reader

warnings: just a fluff, my first fic too (how do i crop a pic)!

part two, part three

wc: ab 1500

It was a hot summer day. Like 32 degrees celsius outside. The sweet space of your room was no better. You were BOILING, everything sticking to your skin. Ellie could’ve said the same, sitting next to you in your room. It was like she was a part of your room’s scenery at this point, she was there almost all the time. You have been friends since you remember, spending every while with each other. Ellie recently broke up with her girlfriend and she was ranting about it:

“I let her be my girlfriend for two months for what?! So she can cheat on me WITH A MAN?” She emphasizes the last three words

It seemed like she wasn’t upset about losing her, just was frustrated she “wasted” so much time, as she describes it.

“I’m telling you, she wasn’t worth it” You try to comfort her. But the amount of times she has told you about her break up within the last week is uncountable, and you can’t think of any good responses anymore.

“Yeah, I know” Ellie rolls her eyes at your answer and groans, throwing her head back.

“It could’ve been worse though. Like, you could’ve been together for a year or something” You try again but it doesn’t seem to work well and Ellie sighs.

“Two months is a long period of time anyways. You don’t understand, you’ve never had a girlfriend” She whines, throwing herself next to you on your bed.

“Hey!” You throw a pillow at her. “I still have time”

“Okay, okay” She puts her hands up in a defensive gesture. She’s making fun of your lack of romantic relations whenever she can. “But you can do like, a lot of things in two months in a relationship“

“A lot of things? Like..?” You look at her, curiosity in your eyes as a thought occurs in your mind “Like… have you done the deed?”

“What? No! Ew, don’t say it like that” Another groan escapes Ellies’ lips and she hides her face in hands. “We just… Kissed. A lot. Unlike you” She smirks as she finds another reason to make fun of you.

You don’t say anything because you know it’s true. Yeah, you haven’t kissed anyone yet. It’s not like you didn’t want to, you just… Never had a chance.

“Actually, why have you never kissed?” She turns right to face you. There is no malice in her voice, just pure curiosity.

You drop your gaze down “I don’t know I just… I haven’t had a good opportunity, I guess?”

“Bullshit. If you wanted to do it, you’ve already done it. Seriously, with that pretty face of yours?” She jokingly strokes your cheek

Your gaze is still running away from Ellie’s inquisitive irises. Suddenly, it feels like the temperature just increased by another 32 degrees.

“I guess I am just too nervous to do it. I have, like, no idea how to kiss” You admit

A chuck escapes Ellie’s lips “Sorry, shouldn’t be laughing but it sounds ridiculous. You’ve never kissed because you don’t know how? Yet you don’t even want to try” Ellie really tries not to laugh but can’t help a giggle which she tries to cover with a cough

“It’s just not that easy as it sounds. Not for me” Though she is laughing, you don’t feel amused. You realized it’s true, you’re actually scared to kiss.

“Listen, I’m really sorry” The girl says when she sees your serious expression. Ellie puts her hand on your arm “What if someone… showed you?” Her lips curl into a playful smile

I finally let my gaze meet your eyes “Like a movie?” You awkwardly chuckle, trying not to jump to any conclusions.

“No dumbass, like a person would actually… teach you. Would that make you less nervous?” Ellie suddenly sounds kind and now it’s her gaze that runs away from your eyes.

I gulp. It’s obvious what Ellie means now “Like… you want to kiss me?” You ask, a ray of hope creeping into your voice

“No, I, uh. I don’t necessarily want to, I just want to be a good friend and help you out” She sounds so nervous all of a sudden.

“Well, yeah sure, you can steal my first kiss” I say sarcastically, but to be honest you actually want her to help me out.

“Alright, come here” Ellie’s confident again, she pats a space on your bed in front of her, inviting you to sit closer.

You take a deep breath as you change your position, fake yawning to check for bad breath hoping Ellie didn’t notice that. But she did.

“I don’t care about your breath, really” She chuckles again but it doesn’t sound annoying. Not anymore.

“It's not like I thought you would, I know you won't judge me and-” I start mumbling because of the nerves “fuck I don’t even know what I’m saying” I admit with a sigh and an awkward smile.

“Are you nervous, flower?” She brings her hands to your cheeks and gently strokes them and you feel dizzy as if the blood left your whole brain, but in reality it’s quite the opposite. A blush creeps on your cheeks. Ellie has never called you a name like that before.

“I promise it will feel nice” Your best friend half-whispers and you feel like the whole world is spinning. You must have a real stupid look on your face but you don’t even care at this moment.

“So,” she starts “It’s all about what you do before the kiss” She puts her hands down and looks you into the eyes. Then her gaze lands on your mouth and your eyes again.

“You should look them into the eyes, at their lips, and into the eyes again.” She bites her lip “Extra points if you do that.” You are so lost in this moment you don’t really listen to her anymore. You can smell her cologne and shower gel. You can feel how hard your heart is pumping, too.

“And if you’re bold enough” She stops to bring her hand to your ear and she tucks a strand of hair behind it “You can do this. Trust me, it works” But you’re a living proof it works, as well as the damp spot on your underwear is.

“So? Are you ready?”

At first, you forget words in your throat. You clear it, and answer, your voice just a whisper “...Yeah”

She puts her hands on your cheeks once again and pulls you closer. You watch as she closes her eyes, so you do the same. And then you feel her lips on yours. It doesn’t feel like you imagined, it’s wet and slippery. But she was right, it feels really nice. She sucks gently on your lower lip, tilting her head, so you do the same to her upper lip. You feel so many things at once, yet you feel numb at the same time. Butterflies in your stomach going crazy, the smell of her warm skin, soft lips against yours, confident fingers holding your cheeks, her saliva mixing with yours, throbbing between your legs. The only sound in the room is this wet kissing sound you are making and your heartbeat. And, did you hear that right, a whimper from Ellie? The kiss lasted about five seconds, but it felt like eternity to you.

Ellie pulls away from the kiss. She keeps her hands on your face and you already miss her soft lips.

“So? How did your first kiss feel?” That’s all she says as if nothing has happened. As if she didn’t just kiss her best friend for the first time.

You touch your lips with your fingers, like you are checking if it actually happened. You are speechless at first, but finally manage to say something, it doesn’t even make sense. “Wow.. It was.. thanks Ellie”

“What?” She furrows her eyebrows with a smirk on her lips. “Um, you want advice? Another try? Anything?” She suggests, slightly amused by your reaction

“Yeah, right, advice or kiss me again or something” You start mumbling again

“I would say… Just don’t tilt your head so much. And don’t stress, princess.” She does it again, calls you a name that makes your face red “But to be honest, it was adorable how nervous you were.”

You finally regain your attitude but your voice is still low. You roll your eyes at her “So… Can you kiss me again?”

pics credits on pinterest: ambar, vic

#ellie williams #tlou ellie #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams best friend #ellie willams x reader #girls kissing girls #pride month #sit on my face ellie #ellie williams first kiss #first kiss #fic #fluff #ellie williams fluff #small series

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storiesforallfandoms · 2 years ago

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like father ~ diego hargreeves;umbrella academy

word count: 2817

request?: yes!

“Hii! Could you please write a Diego Hargreeves x pregnant!reader fic :) If you feel uncomfortable you don't need to”

description: after she tells him she’s pregnant, he starts to worry about ending up like his father

pairing: diego hargreeves x female!reader

warnings: swearing, unplanned pregnancy, absolutely tooth rotting fluff

masterlist (one, two, three)

You never thought two simple, little lines would ever change your life so drastically. And yet, here you were, stood in your bathroom, looking down at the two digital lines that had effectively changed everything for you within five minutes.

You weren’t sure how long you had been stood there. You had been sat on the floor for the five minutes it took the test results to appear, but once the alarm you set on your phone had gone off, you stood. And now you continued to stand, still staring at the test. Had it been minutes? Hours? Days? Who knew. All you knew was that there was a life growing inside of you, and you had no idea how Diego was about to take the news.

Maybe it was something that should’ve been discussed in the early days of your relationship, but the idea of kids had never been brought up between the two of you. You knew that you wanted them, but not so badly that it would be a dealbreaker if Diego didn’t. He hadn’t brought up the idea before, and you didn’t think to bring it up, either. So, the topic just went undiscussed for a very long time.

Until now, when it was definitely too late to make the decision considering you already had a bun in the oven.

You wanted to desperately to be happy. Deep down, you felt kind of excited. The only thing dampening your mood was the dozens of outcomes running through your head of having to tell Diego that you were pregnant. You wanted to try and hope for the best, but your mind kept thinking of all the possible bad endings this could have.

When you heard the front door open and shut, you flinched. It was now or never, although you really wished it could be never.

Diego was walking up to you with wide smile as you exited the bathroom. He picked you up in his arms, causing you to exclaim as he lifted you off the ground. You couldn’t help but smile, hoping that this reaction would stay once you gave him the news.

“Hey baby,” he said. “How was your day?”

“It was...alright,” you responded. “Listen, I have to tell you something.”

He placed you down on the floor, still smiling a little but also a concerned look behind his eyes. “Uh-oh. That’s doesn’t sound good.”

“Depends on how you take the news.”

You passed him the pregnancy test. He took it and looked down at it. For a moment, there was no reaction. The suspense was killing you. And then, realization crossed his face.

“Wait,” he said. “Is this...?”

You nodded.

“How long...?” He trailed off.

“How long have I known? Or how far along am I?” you asked. When he didn’t respond, you decided to answer both questions, “I only just found out, but I’ve had a suspicion for a while. My period was late and it’s never been late before, and I’ve been experiencing some other signs of pregnancy. I don’t know how far along I am. I would have to make a doctor’s appointment to find out.”

He was still silent. He kept looking down at the pregnancy test in his hands. You wished he would give you some sort of reaction. Literally anything. Even if it was anger, you would’ve taken it over the silence. It was eating away at you, making you feel even more uneasy by the second.

Finally, he passed you back the pregnancy test and turned away. He started to walk away from you, and you quickly kept up the pace with him to follow. “Where are you going?”

“I just...I need to go out for a minute.”

“You just got home.”

“I need to go out again.”

“Diego, please.” You reached out to grab hold of him. He stopped walking for a moment, but didn’t look back at you. “Can you at least...tell me how you feel? Tell me what this means for us if I...if I want to keep it?”

But he still didn’t respond. He pulled away and started for the front door again. He didn’t even slam the door to give you any sort of clue as to whether or not he was upset. He just walked off, got into his car, and then drove away.

You watched him go before sitting back on the floor. You pulled your knees up to your chest and began to cry.

~~~~~~

You managed to pull yourself together long enough to make a doctor’s appointment for a few day’s time. You texted Diego to let him know and to tell him that if he wanted to go with you that you would greatly prefer that. When he didn’t respond you weren’t shocked, but it truly broke your heart even more.

You didn’t think this would be a dealbreaker for Diego. You didn’t think he’d get so upset that he would just up and leave. The two of you had been together for many years. You had a bond that seemed to unbreakable, to a point where even his siblings noticed how much happier he had been since meeting you. You remembered the first time you ever met the Hargreeves family, where Luther pulled you aside before you left and thanked you for “making Diego, Diego again”.

And now he was gone. No calls, no texts, no indications on whether or not this relationship was going to continue. All because you told him that you were pregnant.

Your upset was starting to melt into anger.

If he wanted to react this way, then fine, he could react this way. But he wouldn’t have you anymore if that was the case. You’d raise this baby all on your own if you had to. You didn’t need Diego.

You were in the process of calling your mom to ask her to come with you to the appointment when you heard the front door open and close. You hung up before your mom answered and slowly rose from your spot on the bed. You knew who it likely was and you weren’t sure if that made you more or less tense.

Diego appeared in the doorway just as you were about to step out. You were inches away from one another. He was looking at you in a way you once again weren’t able to read. Your anger was still fresh, so you stepped back and crossed your arms.

“Welcome home,” you said, coolly. “I wasn’t sure if you’d even come back.”

He winced at your words. “Of course I was going to come back.”

“I don’t know, you left pretty quickly after I gave you the news. When that happens, it usually means that person isn’t coming back.”

The hurt look on his face didn’t go unnoticed. You felt a little bit of pride knowing he was feeling remorse for what he did.

“I just...needed to think,” he said.

You raised an eyebrow, encouraging him to go on. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Look, come sit. I can explain everything.”

He reached out for you, but you took a step away. You turned your back to him and walked back to the bed. You both sat on the edge, leaving a bigger space between the two of you than you wanted. You couldn’t be close to him without caving, you knew that. Now that he was back, your hormones were running wild (could you even blame the pregnancy hormones yet?”, but you had to stay strong. You couldn’t cave just yet.

He was silent for a moment. You were about to open your mouth to tell him to get on with it, but he cut you off by saying, “I was scared.”

“Scared?” you questioned. “Of what? Of...of the pregnancy?”

“Of being like my dad.”

You felt your angry tension leaving your body. You moved a few inches closer to Diego, your brows furrowing together. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve told you about my dad. How he was never actually...well, a dad. He treated me and my siblings like shit. We were weapons to him. We weren’t kids to him. He fucked us all up big time.”

“I know all of this, but what does it have to do with you walking out on me after I told you I was pregnant?”

“I only had two parental figured growing up: my robot mom and my asshole father. When you told me you were pregnant, I was happy. But that happiness was overshadowed by this fear that, since Hargreeves is the only parenting style I know, that I’ll...I’ll be just as bad as him.”

You closed the gap between the two of you completely. You took his hand in yours. Now he was the one having issues making eye contact with you. You could see the moisture forming in his eyes, something he only ever let you see, and even then it was rare.

“You’re not going to be like your dad,” you assured him. “For one, I’m not popping out seven kids at one time for you to try and train as a superhero team.”

A small smile appeared on his face, which you took as a win.

“But, to me, the fact that you’re so worried about ending up like your dad means that you won’t. You’re aware of your dad’s behavior and how its effected you and your siblings, and you know you don’t want to continue that cycle with our baby.”

His eyes darted towards your stomach for a split second. You took the hand you were holding and flattened his palm against your stomach. There was no sign of a bump yet, you knew you were too early in the pregnancy for that, but you couldn’t help but already picture the baby that was growing in there.

“But what if I fuck their life up?” Diego asked, his voice soft.

“You won’t,” you assured him. “I know you won’t. You’re going to be a great father, and this baby is going to be lucky to have you as their father.”

A tear ran down his cheek. He was quick to wipe it away, but his eyes were watering quicker than he could wipe them. Diego pulled you into a tight hug. You rested your head against his chest and took in his familiar smell and warmth. You were glad to have gotten past the issue, even if you wished he had said something before he left you in your uncertainty for so long.

You exclaimed in shock as Diego pulled you both down to lay flat on the bed. He let go of the hug to sit over you. His hands pulled up your shirt just enough to expose your belly. You giggled as he pressed a kiss against your soft skin, the stubble of his beard tickling your sensitive skin.

“I don’t care what you are, or if you come out with powers or not,” he said to your stomach. “I already love you so much, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you and your mom are safe and happy for the rest of my life.”

You felt tears starting to well up in your eyes as you ran a hand through Diego’s hair. He looked up at you and you felt like he had taken the breath from your lungs with just one look. You smiled at him and he smiled back before he raised himself up to become level with you again. When he kissed you, it was gentle and full of love and passion.

“I want to come to that appointment,” he told you between the kisses he pressed against your cheek, your jaw, your neck. “The one you texted me about. I want to know that our baby is healthy in there.”

“I want nothing more than for you to come with me,” you responded, a soft whimper escaping your lips as his lips found your sweet spot. “And I’m glad you want to come with me.”

In response, he pulled your shirt the rest of the way off and you both helped each other to take the rest of your clothes off and discard them onto the floor, both them and the earlier issue long forgotten.

~~~~~~

You could tell Diego was nervous the day of the appointment. He had tossed and turned so much the night before that he had woken you a few times (not that you were going to tell him that as you knew he’d feel bad if you did), he refused breakfast because he said he wasn’t hungry enough to eat, and he seemed very unfocused as you both got ready and drove to the doctor’s office. You offered to drive since you weren’t sure if you could trust him behind the wheel in this state.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous as well. You were afraid of what the outcomes to this appointment might be; of the doctor telling you that you had a false positive pregnancy test and weren’t actually pregnant; that there was something wrong with the baby; hell, even just the idea of the doctor confirming the pregnancy made you nervous. As excited as you were to be having this baby with Diego, you were also nervous for what pregnancy really entailed. You and Diego had agreed to wait before telling his family, but you were dying to talk to Allison about it since she was the only woman in your life - besides your own mother, of course - to have gone through a pregnancy.

You arrived at the doctor’s office and were brought in almost immediately. The doctor did some standard tests just to check your health and confirmed to you and Diego that you were as healthy as a horse.

“You’ll be just fine to go through this pregnancy,” he told the both of you. “But, of course, we’ll want to do annual check ups just to be sure you and the baby are doing alright.”

You nodded, although you weren’t completely absorbing his words. You were waiting for him to get to the part of the appointment that you and Diego had actually been waiting for: the ultrasound. The test that would truly confirm for the two of you whether or not you were pregnant.

The doctor helped you up onto the bed in his office and had you pull up your shirt just enough that he could see your belly. You suppressed a yelp as he put a cold, jelly like substance on your stomach and started up the ultrasound machine. The machine’s humming noise filled the room as the doctor placed the wand against your stomach and started moving it around. At first, you couldn’t see anything and you felt your heart drop. You were convinced that your worst nightmare was being confirmed - there was no baby in there.

But then the doctor said, “Ah, there you are.”

He pointed to his screen where a grey blob, no bigger than the shape of a peanut, was on display.

“It may not look like it just yet,” the doctor said, “but there’s your baby right there.”

“Whoa,” you breathed, unable to believe it.

“Holy shit,” Diego said. “That little bean turns into a baby?”

The doctor chuckled. “I know, it’s hard to believe. The fetus usually doesn’t actually develop to look like a baby until the later stages of the second trimester into the third trimester. Most people can’t even see the little blob of the fetus in their first ultrasounds like this and start to believe there’s no fetus in there.”

You tried not to let it show on your face that you were one of those people.

Diego took your hand in his. You looked up at him and saw his eyes were fixated intently on the screen. You could see they were starting to gloss over with tears again, but you knew Diego wasn’t about to try in front of a stranger like this.

You squeezed his hand and he finally looked down at you. You couldn’t help but smile at him, and he smiled back.

“That’s our baby,” he said, looking back to the screen. “I can’t believe it, but...that’s our little bean.”

“It is,” you said, feeling yourself becoming overwhelmed with emotions again. “What do you think?”

“I think I’m going to protect that little bean till the ends of the Earth.”

You let out a sound that was half laugh, half sob. Diego brushed his lips against your knuckles before leaning down to kiss your lips.

In that moment, you swore nothing could make you happier. But you knew that, within the next nine months, you’d be having another happy moment that would definitely trump this one.

#diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves x reader #david castenada #david castenada imagine #david castenada x reader #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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aka-libby · 1 year ago

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Counting Our Regrets

Aki Hayakawa x gn!reader | established relationship | semi-canon [ domestic tooth rotting!fluff + angst (with happy ending/comfort) ]

Word count: 4.3k

Warning(s): mentions/implied topic of de*th, insecurities about love, VERY BRIEF mentions about rough past regarding home life

Summary: Aki hated you at first but after a series of events his view on you changed. Now you’re together as a couple, with the regrets of wasting all that time hating and being avoidant of the inevitable spark you had. Yet even with these regrets on the both of you, it’s when you’re in his apartment having dinner like any other night that he finally realized how he truly feels about you.

A/N: So I have a story in the WIP folder that explains their past and how they became the couple here in this fic. There is a LOT to unfold and it’s honestly a drain to write angst and pain all the time SOOOOO I would write this fic when I’m bored and somehow I finish this one first…. so now here we are. I do hope it’s not confusing but hints enough context for readers to understand the development of the two. Plus I’m WAYYYYY too impatient to wait to post this cause I’m so PROUD OF IT UGH.

Anyways enjoy.

“Is it weird that I still get a bit nervous every time he invites me over for dinner?”

Your friend laughs over the phone. “Really?! It’s been so long now. Just breathe and treat it like any other time you guys are together.”

You’re glaring at them, even though they can’t see it. “I’m serious. You know how the past was, we hated each other… well he hated me. I don’t blame him though, it was in every way my fault for how things are but… still.”

Your friend probably heard the change in your tone towards the end. The mischievous aura drips from them. “I understand but the situation has changed now. You stopped being a lil brat and he realized the amazing person that you are underneath it. He fell for you instantly, I see it and am reminded of it everyday when I see you two in the same room.”

“Really?” You are curious now about what they meant. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t see it?” The utter disbelief from their tone surprises you more. “The way he looks at you speaks millions. Like a moth lured to a bright ass light. I believe it.”

You smile as your chest lightens from the doubts slipping off you. Their words really eased your mind. “That’s… cute.” Images of Aki flash in your mind of all the times he would get embarrassed when caught showing any form of affection. “He’s really sweet.”

“He is and it is cute but also utterly revolting.” They gag through the phone. “You two are so lovesick for one another and yet SOOOO oblivious at the same time. My eyes get cavities from seeing you two within the same radius.”

The both of you chuckle a bit before they bids their farewell. “Now go in and enjoy the dinner, okay? Tell me more about it later.”

“I will. See you soon.” You say before ending the call.

The grip on the plastic bags you have to your side tightens as you take a deep breath in and out. You know more than anyone this night will be just like any other night. Just a casual dinner with 2 co-workers/friends and your boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Your lips form into a soft smile as the title lingers in your head. It feels too surreal to be together now after a year of discord between you and Aki. Then a time period of uncertainty of what kind of relationship you guys had. It was the result of the change with his thoughts about you and your thoughts about life. With Himeno’s death being the catalyst to it all.

It doesn’t help that both of you have gone through great suffering revolving around death. Life is unfair to both of you. His family was taken away so suddenly by a worldwide Devil attack while yours…

Agh, the thought hurts too much to think about.

Even with all the hurt, pain, and self projecting in denial of the truth of it all you two somehow ended up here, together. It made you happy to realize that after so long but so late. With time still ticking every single second, it’s only sooner than later that both your lives could end so suddenly.

With Aki’s time limit down to 2 years and yours still in the air, anything could happen at any moment. It was hard carrying the regret of projecting your trauma and fear of abandonment to the relationships around you. How you pushed others away to protect them and yourself. It wasn’t fair to you or your comrades.

They never got to meet the real you.

Your thoughts are cut from the feral screech coming from behind Aki’s door. You know all too well who it was, and you smile softly from the moment, as it reminds you to be present in the present. No time to dwell on your regrets, it will only waste more of your limited time.

You are with Aki now, that’s all that matters.

Finally, you take the last few steps over to Aki’s door. Knuckles barely hovering over the door before it’s busted open.

Power cheers out your name as she pulls you in for a half hug, arm over your shoulder. Her eyes don’t meet yours, instead they’re on the bags at your sides. “You brought food for me?! I'm STARVIN.”

“Hey!” a familiar voice echoes from inside. “That’s no way to treat guests!”

Power is quick to nag back at him with a roll of her eyes before taking the bags out of your hands. “Allow me!” She excitedly offers but you know there are other intentions behind her kindness. Your head shakes from her obvious facade.

Walking into the Hayakawa Residence, you instantly envelop yourself in the comforting feeling of your second home. The smell of the three housemates and the aroma of home cooked food wafts into your nose causing your previous insecurities to flee. Is this what it's like to be at ease? You’re pretty sure it is by how safe you feel once the door closes behind you.

Turning around the corner, you see Aki casually stirring a mixture of veggies in a savory sauce in a wok. It instantly waters your mouth. “Hi Love.” You greet walking over to where he is in front of the stovetop.

It was then you realize what your friend’s comment meant earlier, about how Aki looks at you. His eyes instantly shine with adoration and his body is fully turned towards you, letting go of whatever he was focused on to meet you halfway. Once you’re within his grasp, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head.

“Hello love, was the trip here okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up.” He apologizes before rubbing your back soothingly.

Shaking your head to look up, you reassure him with a smile. “It’s fine, don't worry. I can’t expect you to always pick me up and host a dinner.”

“I know but I would rather do it knowing you are safe than for you to take a taxi or walk here.” He tells you softly with his arms now draped over waist, his hands interlocked behind you. Blue eyes still looking at you. “Next time I’ll open my schedule up to do so.”

You instantly shake your head. “No, you’ve done too much for me.”

He looks at you softly, almost bittersweetly. “It feels like I haven’t done enough.”

Your lips are already on his nose before he could continue. “You’re perfect.”

Those insecurities leave him and it’s replaced by the previous admiration he first had when you walked into his field of view. Instead of replying, he just pulls you in for another tight hug, his cheek now on top of your head. His indirect way of saying many things with one action.

You mean the world to me.

I appreciate you.

Thank you.

Pulling back from the hug to check up on the veggies he was stirring earlier, you point towards the living room, where Power and Denji lay as they go through the plastic bag you brought. “I hope you don’t mind but I brought some extra food I prepared yesterday and sweets.”

“Mmm you didn’t have to. I made extra food too.” He explains as he tosses the veggies around the sauce, evenly coating each cut piece. “But I do appreciate it, thank you love.”

I smile and wrap an arm around his torso. “I don’t mind. It was going to rot in my fridge anyways with how often I eat here. Plus, you have 2 extra mouths to feed.”

His soft eyes gloss over to you, and he can’t help but feel the need to kiss the side of your head. “You’re the best.”

“Oi! Can you cook faster and stop flirting so much!” I hear Denji yell from across the place. Aki’s soft feature forms a frown as he goes to scold Denji for interrupting the moment.

Just now remembering you had more people in the room, you walk off to where the other two reside. Both are already munching on the baked goods you’ve brought, happily enjoying it while watching their show.

“Like em?” You ask Denji as you sit down next to Power. Her cat senses your presence, immediately heading over to you, purring happily under your loving touches. “Hi cutie.”

Without taking his eyes off the screen, he replies back with his mouth stuffed. “Therwe realu-

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!” Aki scolds from the kitchen.

“Whamever.” He dismisses but gulps it down anyways before continuing. “Good ass…” He draws a blank. You watch the way the gears in his mind slowly rotate as they try to put together a coherent sentence. “Good ass goods!”

Power slams her hand flat onto his back, repeatedly slapping him, and causes poor Denji to choke mid consumption of the said goods. Her boisterous laugh echoes within their flat. “You sound more stupid than usual!” She hollers out then starts shaking him.

He starts to cough from all the sudden movements and finally dryly swallows the food. Despite watching Denji almost choke, you can’t help but laugh from watching the events unfold. They really were siblings by heart.

As the conversation slowly dies, Aki takes this opportunity to step outside to smoke. Everyone sits comfortably in the ambience. With the sound of the Tokyo nightlife and the lowered volume of the TV playing some random channel, it really lured everyone to a relaxed state of mind.

It could be the combination of good food and it being quite late into the night that caused both Denji and Power to pass out on the ground. Your buzzy self smiles at the sight of them, so peaceful from the food coma. The whole environment feels so… nice.

It was somewhat odd for you. Your body is aware of the empty space where your walls and guard used to be. Not really used to this feeling of being safe and secure. Growing up in a chaotic and unstable household really puts a toll on you and your point of view on what a safe home should make you feel.

In a way, you never really felt at “home” before.

The silence you’re used to in your own apartment isn’t much different compared to what you’re currently experiencing now, but it makes you feel different. You don’t feel lonely or alienated. You feel…. comfortable. You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or the fact you are now just appreciating what a domestic life is like, but it’s a new foreign feeling. Nonetheless, it’s not unwelcome, it’s more than welcome.

You hope this doesn’t come to an end anytime soon.

Taking in a sip of the alcohol of your choice, your eyes pick up on the mess that surrounds you. Dirty plates, unfinished platters of food, both used and unused napkins sprawled over the table. Overall it was just messy, but honestly this is what's expected from a late night dinner with Power and Denji involved.

Without another thought, you stood up with your wobbly tipsy legs and started to clean up. Picking up the empty cans and garbage as you scout the room for more.

“Hey.” Aki calls out for you, head just barely poking into the apartment.

You look up at him, an empty beer can in hand. “Hey.” You greet, confused.

His brows lowered from your response. “I wasn’t saying hi. What’re you doing?”

“Oh.” A giggle escapes from your lips from your tipsy brain. You continue to pick up the beer cans and toss them into the recycling bag. “Cleaning up.” You answer simply.

“You’re a guest.” He starts off walking towards you and takes the bag. “You should be relaxing.”

“You hosted this Aki, in your own home. The least I can do is help clean up just a bit.” You explain then immediately start to stack all the dirty dishes. “How about you get the garbage and I’ll do the dishes. Hm? How does that sound?”

Leaving no room for him to argue further, you leave the living room and head to the kitchen. Aki watches as you walk away happily with the stack of dishes in hand. You look over to him once, an eyebrow raised from his stare.

“What?” You ask as you hold a soapy dish sponge in one hand and a dirty plate in the other, scrubbing away the grim and food off the plates one by one.

A lot of thoughts are running through his mind but he makes no attempt to show it. He just shrugs and chuckles. “Nothing.”

Both of you fall back into comfortable silence. Only breaking it to drop a couple of small talk here and there. With the TV still running in the back, now on the news channel. You make notes on a few topics the news anchor mentions and Aki does the same, feeling comfortable with the surface level talks.

Nothing about this was new to either of you. You always offer freely to clean up when invited over and Aki follows up by refusing you from doing so. A routine both of you are accustomed to for the past couple of months. In some way, you should feel content or happy being with someone who flows with you so easily and has grown accustomed to you over time.

But as your thoughts simmer a bit longer, a bitter side to all of this comes around. You’re reminded of the reality you’re truly in. Both you and Aki’s death are determined when you both sign your life away to Public Safety. With Aki being two years left and yours possibly just as short.

The unwavering and daunting feeling never goes away and always ruins moments like these you want to cherish and really be in, to really exist in. No matter how much you try to avoid it, the feeling was and is always there. It doesn’t help that a good chunk of your time with Aki was wasted on avoiding getting to this intimate point in your relationship.

The person you were back then would’ve looked down on you. How could you give in to these selfish desires? Get into a relationship with someone knowing the limited time you have left. It wasn’t fair to them or you. A cruel ending to have to anyone. So you did what at the time felt like the best thing to do, barricaded yourself from the world.

You were committed to keeping a facade up. A mock up personality to shield you and others from getting close to you. You hoped you could keep up with it long enough that one day you leave this world and feel relief no one would experience grief like you did.

Sadly even with trying to avoid the inevitable, you landed in the worst possible position ever. To end up regretting what you did and having to accept the conditions your fear set out for you. If only you gave up sooner than later. Maybe just maybe you would have enjoyed more of these moments with Aki.

“You okay?”

Your head whips to him, ocean eyes hold much concern. “Yeah why?”

He frowns, not convinced at all. “You’re shaking.”

It’s when he mentions it that you realized your shaky hands. Instantly you shove whatever lingering thought you had left and try to play it off as something else, despite knowing he wouldn’t believe you. “Just….” You trail off drawing a blank for an excuse.

“If you’re going to lie, at least make it believable.” He scolds but his actions don’t mirror his words as he pulls you in for an embrace. “There’s something bothering you. You can talk to me, you know?”

You have… Already. It was a topic that was brought up quite often between the two of you. It was hard to really fully walk past the topic. No advice or form of communication would really ease the both of you of what’s yet to come. But it does in some way help temporarily. At least, until you come back to the same thought again like now.

A sigh leaves your lips when you snuggle closer into his chest, arms wrapped tightly around his large frame. “You already know what it is.”

The same sigh leaves his lips as his grip tightens. “I’m here nonetheless.”

Much to his response, it does say a lot. Both of you fall into another routine. Where one would be reminded of the ticking time bomb and the other comes around to comfort them. Neither of you felt the need to speak more with how often it happens. It was a silent way of saying “I’m tired of this too, but just know I’m here for you if you wanna talk more. Just say it and I’ll be here to listen.”

After a few moments, you finally pull back to look at him. A bittersweet smile on your lips. “Thank you.”

His arms never leave you. Instead, they are holding the sides of your arms, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into you. “Anytime.”

Finishing up the last bit that was needed to be done, you both head out to the balcony. You pulled a bit of the curtain from inside to shield where his dingy white lawn chair was on his balcony. A simple but not really effective way to have some privacy from the sleeping children. As you close the sliding glass door, the chills of the night are apparent on your bare arms.

Aki sits down first then signals for you to take the spot on his lap. “Sit, I’m not making you stand.”

Well, you can’t really deny such a tempting offer. You smile at him before doing just that. Both of you adjust yourselves a bit before settling comfortably in the current position. Your head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around your waist, and fingers intertwined on your lap.

The soft buzz of the night life from his quiet neighborhood drowns out your thoughts as you stare aimlessly at the street lights. His arm that was once on your waist now hoists up just below your upper back. He pulls you in closer.

“Hm?” You question the sudden movement.

Aki is silent for a few seconds before talking. “I was just thinking.”

You return the same silence before saying. “Care to elaborate?”

“I…” He pauses, unsure how to say what he wants to say.

There was just too much to say and too little of the time to say it at that moment. No amount of words or poems could describe the cloud 9 feeling he gets when he sees you there, just existing in his world. It reminds him so much of everything that it overwhelms his mind and makes him draw a blank during moments like this.

Where he wants to say everything but can’t.

So many words and sentences just zoom around him like dust in the air getting blown until it turns into a tornado. Every fleeting thought gets thicker and stronger. It consumes his mind and he can’t choose nor figure out what he wants to say during moments like these. What’s something that could just say everything he needs to say all at once? To tell you he appreciates you. Wants to stay like this with you forever. To continue to live in each other's presence until time stops him for good.

To see you come through that damn door again with a big smile and sparkling eyes as you hold bags of food in both your hands happily. While greeting him with that god forsaken fucking melodic voice of yours.

It hits him.

It’s so simple but it finally hits him.

He looks down at you, meeting your eyes one last time as his nervousness clogs his own throat. The phrase in itself is simple but the meaning is so heavy, so meaningful to him that it almost scares him away from being able to say it. But it’s the only thing that really describes this feeling he feels for you.

God he should really shut up and just say-

“I love you.”

He watches closely to the way your face reacts to this statement, both out of fear and excitement. It’s when he sees the way your eyes get slightly glossy and your cheeks burn bright in warm hues like a sunrise that he reflects the same expression with the biggest smile.

Not much is said. Only the sound of multiple pecks and tender kisses from Aki as he covers your whole face with love. You giggle like a lil highschool girl from all the affection. After almost basically covering 90% of your face in kisses, you finally get a word in. Feeling overwhelmed from joy and love.

“I love you too.” You finally say, holding his face close til your noses are just barely touching. “I… Never thought you could ever love me.”

He understands very well what you meant by that. Given the history between the two of you, but he doesn’t care. At least at this moment he doesn’t. The rays of pure unfiltered feeling of love is all too consuming and subtly blinds him from truly acknowledging the double meaning to your statement.

“We have gone off on the wrong foot and I know we both regret heavily how late it is to be in this position.” He starts off in a whisper then tilts his head slightly to rub the side of your noses, lips barely hovering over yours. “But to me, in this very moment with you, without all the worries we had been dealing with before for weeks. Hell fucking months!” Raising his tone just a bit to playfully emphasize the last part of his statement. “I know for sure I love you. The person here on my lap. The body that holds your beautiful heart and the beautiful heart that holds your soul. From every bit and piece of you, that is all for me to love until I can no longer feel.”

You feel your face get more red with every word being said. It absolutely stuns you to the core and you can’t get your mind to put together a sentence or a single word to say. You’re not used to this true unadulterated form of love. It completely fried your brain, and the only response or reaction you gave were tears.

“I…” You first choke out. “I didn’t do anything special.” You sob out. The big insecure part of you is in some way confused by his declaration. “All I’ve done is hurt you, Aki. I don’t understand.”

He quickly adjusts your positions enough to fully face you from above. Your eyes are bloodshot red, cheeks wet from tears. It’s so painful to see the doubts you’ve had hidden from him resurface but he doesn’t mind. Cause you’re you. He loves you for you, therefore he loves all that comes with you.

Aki starts to kiss your tears and gently guides you to sit up on his lap. Both his hands on your cheeks, wiping the remaining falling tears with his thumbs.

“Hurt is inevitable. We’re human, hurting others will always happen whether we intended to or not. I forgive you love, because I understand what it’s like to be scared of connecting. Especially in the field we’re working in.” His voice is tender and gentle, reassuring you with much sincerity.

He takes the time to really admire every little detail about you. How your hair frames your face. The little scratches and scars from Devil attacks on the cheeks he loves to kiss. How your eyes hold every single emotion that shapes the person you are today.

Your entire being is everything to him.

“You were made to be loved. I don’t care what person or experience made you believe you weren’t but I’m telling you this now sincerely that you were made to be loved inside and out.”

As each word escapes his lips, he can’t help but inch your face closer and closer and closer until his lips just barely hover over yours.

“Especially by me.”

There was a part of you that wanted to scream at him for lying. For spewing out such bullshit to you at this moment. Cause how can someone so beautiful like him love someone so complex and messy like you? How is that possible?

Whatever the case was, there was a stronger, more hopeful side to you that believes everything he claims. It constantly clashes swords with your insecurities. The same insecurities that made you push him away.

And you know better than to do that now.

He watches the way your eyes light up just a bit as a smile forms. “I love you Aki. Thank you for being…. You.”

It’s after saying that you finally lean in and kiss him with all the same love and care he has for you. He makes no mistake to delay this. Kissing you back with all his entirety. Your souls intertwine through an invisible bond the more the kiss deepens. Unspoken love of affirmations set ablaze the passion you have for each other.

And in that very moment, both of you knew no matter how much time you guys wasted wishing and counting your regrets. You still had each other. As bittersweet as it is, that’s all anyone could ask for.

Well… Aki is hoping he could ask for your hand in marriage but let’s leave that for another time.

A/N: thanks for reading! please let me know if you see any mistakes with the gn!reader pov, this is my first :)

#aki hayakawa #aki hayakawa x reader #aki hayakawa x gn!reader #csm x reader #aki hayakawa fluff #aki hayakawa angst #aki x reader #chainsaw man fanfic #aki hayakawa fanfic #self insert #domestic fluff

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misshoneyimhome · 1 year ago

Note

GIRL this Willy content is going to drive me mad I swear! I am needing a lil fic about maybe you meeting the fam for the first time on this international trip and you’re so excited, but also nervous because in Toronto he’s a star but in Sweden he’s the fucking sun!! And he looks so happy and fucking good that he’s willing to take you just about anywhere he can find to take away the nerves and get you to loosen up and enjoy yourself😭😭💀💀

Oh bb! Your wish is my command! ❤️ bc let’s be honest, this kind of scenario has definitely been on my mind a lot as well!

I might have been a little too excited about the idea, so I apologise in advance for any mistakes and errors 😅

➼｡ﾟ

We are Family I William Nylander

One hour.

In just one more hour, the plane would land in Stockholm, the capital of Sweden. And as the minutes ticked by, you could sense your breaths becoming uneven, and your leg trembling with anticipation.

The reason for your anticipation? This journey wasn’t just about the destination itself; no, it held a lot more significant to it. It was the other place on earth your boyfriend, William Nylander, called his home.

Willy, your boyfriend of about six months, or maybe a bit longer or shorter - the dating phase and the decision to commit had been a bit of a whirlwind, so you weren’t entirely sure, for exactly how long you’d been together.

You'd first met William a couple of months before the playoffs and hit it off immediately. His energy yet calm and confident demeanour was unlike many others you’d ever dated, and you were captured in an instant.

But dating an NHL player during the playoffs, was close to the impossible and it had been nothing but challenging. However, somehow, amid the chaos of that time William had made his way directly to your heart, and he had found comfort in having you around. You’d quickly become his anchor throughout the tumultuous period.

Then, during the off-season, both of you felt the need for some space. Not that there were any issues between you; it was simply a desire for some individual journeys and some time to think and breath apart. So, William had travelled across Europe with friends and family, while you pursued your own adventures with some girlfriends.

However, upon returning to Toronto and meeting up again, there was no doubt: you both wanted to be together, romantically committed and all that came with it. William, as unbothered as ever, wasn't really one to overthink it, but you had had your doubts whether he truly meant it, or if you were just another fling. But then just like that, all your concerns were suddenly gone, as William asked you to join the Global Series tour, where the Leafs would play two regular season games in Sweden.

He had practically pleaded for you to come along, now that you'd officially been together for months, and he was eager to introduce you to his family. Which, for the record, and in your opinion, was a monumental step for your relationship, considering how much his family meant to him. And to top it off, you’d be meeting them in what he referred to as his home country.

As you knew he was a bloody star in Toronto – in Sweden, he was the fucking sun. He was a walking monument within the sport, and though you were used to the attention in the Canadian city, it was nothing compared to his status in the Swedish hockey world.

So, as the vibrant city came into view, your nerves were on edge, and your excitement beaming. You were longing to see William, and soon you’d be in his arms again.

After landing, you wasted no time grabbing your luggage and swiftly hopped onto the Arlanda Express, a quick 20-minute ride that placed you right in the heart of Stockholm. Here, William welcomed you with the most radiant smile on his wonderful face, pulling you into a deep, affectionate kiss. Despite the lingering effects of jet lag, you couldn't care less.

The team, naturally, had travelled together and arrived a few days earlier to tackle their own jet lag a head of the games. They went for team meetings before heading out to dine together, embracing the finest Swedish customs. And all the Swedish players were even invited to a premiere of the Börje Salming tribute movie, accompanied by family and friends – which had been a truly special occasion. And amidst hockey training and probably a fair share of media engagements, William had planned to devote his time to you.

So, on the following day, once you'd somewhat adjusted to a more normal state of mind, William took you out. Sensing your nerves, he made every effort to keep you distracted and calm, showcasing the most splendid places and attractions in Stockholm and introducing you to the renowned concept of Fika, Swedish style.

You could sense his pride in sharing this part of his life with you, and despite the dull, grey weather, the time spent together in his "home" city was what mattered most. And eventually, you found yourself completely at ease in his presence.

Up until the next crucial moment: meeting his family.

William loved his family very much. He cherished every single one of his relatives deeply, and to put it mildly, there were quite a lot of them. And naturally, he had invited the whole clan to the major hockey event.

"Hey," he spoke in a gentle voice as the two of you were getting ready in the hotel room. "Baby, please try to relax," his soft chuckle filled the room, but his words didn't immediately ease your nerves.

"Willy, I’m trying… but I'm meeting your parents," you replied with worried brows. You could feel how your nerves were showing, despite your best attempts to stay calm and confident by wearing your favourite outfit.

"I know, and I get that you're nervous. But there's really nothing for you to worry about."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! Besides, I'm just really happy that you're here.” He stepped a little closer, and gently wrapped his arms around your waist. “This means the world to me. You're finally meeting my parents, and I'm just so excited, you know…"

There was no falsehood in his words. His eyes shone like bright Christmas lights, and his smile was wider than you’d ever seen before.

"I know, I'm excited too – I just really hope they’ll like me… I know how much your family means to you. The worst thing would be if we couldn’t be together, because they didn't approve of me, and then, you'd have to choose, which would be even worse, since-"

William interrupted your ramble with a kiss.

"They'll definitely like you, don't worry," he almost whispered, keeping your faces close while his arms enveloped you. It was a gentle, heartfelt moment as the two of you stood motionless in the serene room. Only the sound of your synchronized breaths filled the small space between you, his rhythm guiding yours.

And gazing into his eyes, a realization began to dawn. William wouldn't have you meet his family if he wasn't absolutely certain it would go well.

And so, you made your way out of the hotel, heading towards the restaurant where you'd meet a part of his closest family, both of you unable to contain wide smiles. His hand tightly held yours, providing the reassurance you sought. And with each step towards the door, all you felt was joy, simply being by his side.

***

"Hey!" a group of incredibly good-looking Swedes exclaimed as you headed towards the back of the restaurant, where William had ensured there was enough space for everyone and allowing a degree of privacy.

"Hej," William addressed his parents as they approached, exchanging hugs and kisses. "Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, y/n."

"Hello, y/n," the two tall Swedes smiled, extending their hands for you to shake, which you accepted eagerly before speaking.

"Hej, hur mår du? Det är verkligen trevligt att träffa er båda," (Hey, how are you? It’s really nice to neet toy both), you greeted as confident as possible, earning astonished wide eyes from your boyfriend, leaving him completely baffled. This he had not expected.

"Vi är mycket bra, tack. Det är fantastiskt att träffa dig också," (We’re very good, thanks. It’s really wonderful to meet you too), his mother replied with a beautiful smile, and you couldn't help but chuckle as William stood stunned beside you.

"When did you learn that?" he exclaimed with a laugh.

"What?" you innocently asked. "I just wanted to pick up a few phrases… you know, to impress you." You flashed him a sweet smile, while his parents responded with hearty laughter. "Besides, all that effort to see that look on your face? Totally worth it."

"Oh, I like this one," his father Michael remarked, before all of you continued to join the rest of the company.

William was genuinely impressed. Mission accomplished. And so were his parents. Bonus points.

You had practised a few sentences just for fun, aiming to make an impression and show how much you were in fact interested in getting to know this part of your boyfriend better. And it seemed your plan had worked.

Although following along with the Swedish conversations was challenging, William, his parents, and sisters made an incredibly sweet effort to involve you in everything. They were exceedingly kind and welcoming, and it didn't take long for you to feel like a part of the family. What a relief.

"You know, y/n, Willy couldn’t stop talking about you all summer," Stephanie chuckled.

"Oh, come on, let's not go into that," William almost whined.

"Oh, we're definitely going there, big brother," Jacqueline chimed in with a grin, before adding, "He was glued to his phone, waiting for you to text or call..."

"Why hasn't she called me?" Stephanie playfully mimicked her brother's whiny voice, prompting Jacqueline to continue.

"Should I call her?"

"What if she doesn't pick up?"

"What if she does pick up?"

His sisters teasingly taunted him, recalling how much William had talked about you during the off-season. And amidst their banter, there was nothing but laughter from your end. Despite William's potential embarrassment in that moment, or as much as he could show, you found yourself incredibly happy. Not only was his family immensely sweet, but you also discovered that he had been thinking about you as much as you had been thinking about him. Furthermore, he had even shared details about you with his family.

"Alright, enough," William chuckled. "Just because I'm finally in love and happy, doesn't mean you get to give me a hard time."

And with smiles and laughter, the girls relented from their teasing.

For you, however, your heart skipped a beat. Warmth filled your entire being as you absorbed his words. In love.

****

After a delightful evening of dinner, conversation, and mingling, you and William found yourselves back in your hotel room. A serene silence enveloped the room as both of you slowly unwound, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere.

"Hey, are you okay?" your boyfriend inquired as you were about to join him on the bed.

"Of course," you reassured him with a soft smile.

"You're just unusually quiet... Was tonight not okay?" he probed, a hint of concern in his voice.

With a smile slowly spreading across your face, you knelt on the bed in front of him, lightly pressing your lips together before speaking.

"Willy, tonight was perfect. Your family is wonderful, and I've never seen you this happy," you said with genuine sincerity. "Not even when the team made it into the second round."

William chuckled in response, but he could read you too well, and he sensed there was more. "So, there's nothing else on your mind?"

Once more, you pursed your lips, briefly glanced down, then locked eyes with his once more.

"Did you truly mean it?"

"Mean what?" he asked, curiosity dancing in his eyes.

"That you're in love with me?"

William's smile widened at your question as he leaned closer, gently cupping your cheek with a hand.

"Absolutely, y/n/n," his voice tender and soft. "In fact, I think I love you."

With your heart overflowing with affection for this man, you closed the distance between you in a heartfelt kiss, before pulling back just a tad.

"I love you too, Willy."

#william nylander imagine #nhl hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #willy styles #my asks #wn88 imagine

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spoiled-fawn · 1 year ago

Text

John Price; Drop Everything Now.

Part 2

CW: PTSD, Songfic inspired by "Sparks Fly" (Not in a cringe way I promise)

GN!Reader who is a sergeant on TF141. WC: 2,262

AN: I needed to post this before I completely tore it apart (again) and decided to scrap it. LMK if you'd like a part two because I have a good chunk of it but unsure if I'd like to continue this since I want the PTSD to linger and not be just diminished because reader is love of his life (I'd like to at least try to have some realism, rip). This was actually created for a test run of writing PTSD so I am happy to take any constructive criticism or tips for writing it. Hope you enjoy!

Being stationed in the Middle East meant that you weren't used to much besides the hot sun baring down on every activity you did and dust storms that would blow over, which effectively made you shut your mouth to not breathe in the dirt. However, that didn’t mean that Mother Nature would not bless the dry lands with an ounce of rain every once in a while.

You wouldn’t know about the rain usually unless you were outside training or on a mission when the dark clouds would roll in, giving you a rare break from the sun. Other times, the clouds would cover the stars and moon in the night sky, but you wouldn't be able to tell just what kind of clouds they were.

And that, unfortunately, is how tonight is going without your knowledge.

The rain was never an issue on base, its greatest hindrance being the lack of vision, the annoyance of getting wet, and the general time it would take to wait it out. However, there was always the unspoken thought of the thunderstorms that could arise.

You’ve served two years within TF141 as a sergeant, having been recruited and transferred to be on base under Price’s command. Now having some experience under your belt, you’ve seen a thing or two- but nothing compared to your superiors.

From an external point of view and reflection on yourself, it brings a possibility that your mind has yet to realize if the memories are getting trapped within yourself. Your nervous system may have gotten stuck in the past at a few points in time, but while you remain living in the action, your biggest symptom is nightmares and anxiety that you brush off each time.

The same can’t be said for your Captain.

Price, with his two decades of service, has lived through more than you could ever imagine and things he wishes to not recall. He plays the classic tough guy act, brushing his emotions off as something he can deal with when he’s home and not deployed- nor does he want to even believe they are necessary to process, his ways still being a bit old-fashioned.

When you were recruited, his viewpoint shifted a bit. Price wasn’t sure that you would be a good fit within the team, and debated putting you on a platoon further down the branch that he still oversaw from time to time. Yet, during your grace period, he would check up on you- being sure to debrief with you after long days of training exercises or drills that were getting harder and harder. When you had proven your worth to him and the team, an unspoken agreement between you two was formed. You would casually reside in his presence but keep it under the notion of him offering guidance to the rookie. This often resulted in you filling out reports or paperwork on your laptop in his office while he worked at his desk.

Price was not a sharer of his inner turmoil. But, sometimes, you would confide in him and he would allow a sliver of a softer man to peak out in the late hours of the night.

That's how the deeper part of your relationship worked with him. Hard-ass by day, and a mildly reserved man by late night. You’re close with the entirety of the team, but you’ve always had an attraction to Price, classically never trying to show it or verbalize it to anyone. Yet, you had a good hunch that he already knew from your softened behavior towards him when the veil of superior and subordinate came down to friends in the dark glow of his office.

You knew it was a bad idea to ever indulge yourself in having his attention and reciprocating it, but now you over-indulged for the last year and find yourself with a cavity at the sweetness you suck from his words. Your mind is always left in a trance on any touch he unknowingly spoiled you with; a hand to the small of your back, adjusting your elbows if you were using a heavier loadout during training, or a pat on the head after a job well done.

Tonight, the storm rolls in with thunder chasing right behind it.

It's late in the evening as you stand in the common room, having had dinner late, and washing the dishes while quietly humming to yourself. The subconscious part of your mind notices the flashes of lightning and deep thunder that penetrate the barriers of the base but leaving it as a non-threat. You wash your dinner plate, moving the sponge around, but before you can put the plate down to dry, your phone rings with a call from Price.

It's not unusual for him to call when he decides he’d like your presence while completing paperwork, yet your eyebrows furrow as you see the time to be later in the night than his usual request.

Before you can even speak into the phone after answering, your ear is polluted with the sound of his ragged breaths; the sound of rain hitting the ground is amplified more than what you hear while being inside. It sends a roll of skin-prickling anxiety down your spine as your eyes widen. “Price?” You ask after a blink, trying to understand what this call could be.

You hear it when he speaks, a tremor in the back of his throat and you can imagine the adrenaline-crazed look on his face. The sound of your name is called from him, and it almost sounds questioning, as if he isn't sure it's you, even though he called.

“I- I don’t know where I am…” He pants out, sounding choked up, trying to swallow air and the lack of saliva in his throat while in the pouring rain.

Drop everything now

Without a second thought, you drop the plate, the clatter of it breaking once hitting the ground echoes in the common room and snaps everyone's attention on you. Not having any need for apologies or reason, your body is already supplying the adrenaline needed to set into a dead sprint out of the common room as you weave past the other bodies to push through the hallway and enter the stairwell with the clamor of the metal doors swinging open.

“John, where are you- tell me what you see.” You call out as your body gets set on autopilot, practically flying down the stairs of the barracks and onto the ground floor moving into the hallways. “Do you see the training yard or do you see a road?” You pant out while pushing to find the exit door of the base.

It's here and now, that you now actively recognize the roll and clap of thunder as if it's taunting you to hurry up and find Price before it does.

But it seems it already has.

Each door, person, and corner you pass feels like a deliberate obstacle, frustrating you as you try to get outside faster.

“I- I see a road and the-” He’s interrupted by a bright flash, a strong shake of thunder following right after, and you hear him grunt in aggravation at the sound he lacks control over. With a call of your name, he makes a quiet plea. “Please, I need you here. Now.” He manages to ground out with a sharp breath, causing you to almost second guess yourself at what he said.

You bank a hard left, towards the East entrance, finding the door to take you outside towards the main road that leads to the base's entrance. Shouldering the large door, you grit your teeth while taking the metal harshly against yourself, but almost come to a halt when you feel the pouring rain pelt on your body.

Meet me in the pouring rain

“Please.” His voice shakes again through the phone, and the rasp from his panting re-escalates the adrenaline through your body.

It breaks your heart to hear him sound like this as if he’s succumbing to his demons. “John, I’m gonna find you but you need to help me, ok?” You ask as your legs begin to burn from the force that you run through the damp earth with. “-you see the flag pole? ” You bark out while another flash of lightning crosses the sky, closing your eyes as you wince. “Hey- listen to me, focus on me.” You command, praying that he isn’t locked inside his memories.

After a moment, “Y- Yes, I see it. The- the rains comin’ down hard- won't fucking stop.”

The shake in his voice is back; he’s shivering and his irritability is beginning to build up faster as it makes itself evident the longer he stays held within the turmoil of his nervous system.

Running and finally entering the main yard after having had to cut through the detached buildings to make it to the front, you place your free hand over your eyes to try and gain some semblance of visibility while the flashes of lightning aid for a moment.

“Meet me there. It’ll be just you and me, only us.” You pleaded with a hint of firmness, needing to direct him as you move with haste towards the lit flagpole, the light being a beacon through the pelting rain.

While running in the dark and wet ground, you lose footing and slide your foot into loose gravel; your right elbow is now scraped while you clatter to the ground with a “Fuck-” Your voice breaks through the night air, as your yelp of pain staccatos out in the silence between the flash of light and complimenting rumble of thunder.

In a moment before you can stand up, you hear your name being yelled out, whipping your head up in response. The raw tenacity of his voice through the thrumming of rainfall hits when there is no other force of the storm that can distract either of you.

Your gazes find each other; he looks frozen for a moment, then immediately runs to you.

“John-“ falls past your lips in a cry when you spot him. His fatigues stick to his body, his hair wet and bucket hat long gone. Making his way hurriedly, his body slows with unexpected grace as he helps you to your feet. Almost as if in a hurried frenzy, you latch onto him by his arms, blinking through the falling rain as you look up and search his face.

The expression he wears, as he makes sure you’re alright, contradicts the voice he had just seconds earlier; his eyebrows furrowed with worry as he checks over you, quickly placing his large hands on your ribs to stand you upright as if you are a toddler who has just taken a tumble.

“Bloody- You alrigh’ sweetheart?” He asks as the warmth of his panting breath fans across your face while pulling you up against him.

“I’m ok, I just slipped from the rain. Thank you.” You speak while still holding him tight, latching onto him. Your heart aches at seeing him care for you no matter where his mind places him, always putting others before himself.

John nods, letting out a small sigh. The feeling of your warmth against his chest brings him back down as he looks over you, trying to blink the anxiety and rain from his eyes. The feeling of his hands, cold and now gentle, glides up to move the wet hair from your eyes. It surprises you for a moment as he stays completely silent besides the tremoring breaths he takes.

At the silence, you let a small huff of laughter escape before closing your eyes and giving a smile in relief at having him in your sight and arms, before fluttering your eyes open to gaze up at him.

You return the gesture when you move your hand to wipe his hair off of his forehead, the rain having matted it down to his skin. “With me as I’m with you. Always with you, John.” The lull of your voice surprises both of you as it can be heard perfectly in the rain, with no sign of thunder or lightning interrupting your words.

John cups the base of your skull, looking at the raindrops that fall in small splashes and trails along your face. His eyes dilate when focused on you, the sight of him this close and his icy blue eyes keep steadfast on you, leaving a haunting mark on your memory and heart.

He moves his head down to meet yours; pausing for a moment as if he isn't sure this is real- he isn’t sure that this isn’t a dream and his mind is granting him a wish. Is this a true trick of his mind? This can't be a memory, surely-

He looks as if he’s in pain, so you take the last leap of faith for him.

The new and added warmth of his lips on yours is tender. It contrasts the rough environment of where you stand, the life you both live and the constant battles faced within. Your arms and his alike move to wrap around each other in a harsh and tight embrace.

As the raindrops fall all over both your faces, you feel as if you’re in a movie and the climax has just hit when the lovers are united.

You both are soaking wet, but neither of you seems to mind. He pulls you back into him, deepening the kiss with a determined and desperate force.

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain.

#task force 141 #call of duty #captain john price #john price #john price x reader #captain jonathan price #jonathan price #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #captain price x reader #captain price mw2 #cod price #price x reader #captain price #141

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highpriestess13 · 8 months ago

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Confirmation Reading!

Your confirmation for this week is simple yet powerful 😈. I see someone mediating some kind of conflict whether this is with coworkers, someone that you’re collaborating with or this may be romantic. Some of you may be getting into career fields within the Justice system or you may be a therapist or mediator of some kind. You have the gift of mending relationships or situations that are conflicting… 33 as I typed that. You have a way with words, you’re someone who’s very grounded or you come off that way but you’re able to see the middle ground. I feel like some of you are always caught in the middle of others nonsense lol. “Stuck in the middle with you” is what I’m hearing. 22 is also confirmation and 11. You’re able to heal and bring back balance into people’s lives and maybe into your own. I see a long awaited message coming, could be in a form of a text message (fb messenger probably) that you may or may not expect. Someone is working on making amends with or this is what they’re thinking. I’m hearing “collaborate”. So this only confirms that this certain someone is someone who you’re meant to work with and vice versa… it may feel god sent as well. This is divine Justice but there’s something about “order” that’s coming to mind. Someone is willing to correct their mistakes and right their wrongs but taking accountability. But what’s hidden is generated and guaranteed success. The HighPriestess card was hiding the 6 of Wands 😂 lol. Someone may be hiding the fact that they know that something will be a success so I am getting a facade or masking energy. Whoever this may be, they’re coming off as the high priestess and the king of swords.. and they both have poker faces… someone has a resting bitch face as well 👀 or act like something doesn’t/ isn’t affecting them but it most certainly is… this could be you as well. I’m getting the image of someone hiding their excitement by showing a straight, nonchalant face lol.

Many of you are literally in your power… you have the power… you ARE the power! This reading is pulling more towards love and past energy. You may have gone through a time period of being lonely, struggling… even struggling to make peace some things and people that may have wronged you or turned their back on you especially with love or people you shared genuine connections with. That’s all about to change though. The same clowns that left you are the same clowns that want back in.. I say don’t allow them to come back especially when you know that they only hold empty promises of a better future with you. They’re coming up as pages as you’re the Empress, Queen of Swords and Justice! You could be a Libra or have this highly aspected in your chart.. take it how it resonates. You’re no longer doubting yourself and your capabilities but instead you’re showing up for yourself. Many of you have been practicing self love/ care and learning how to set straight and clear boundaries. If it’s not an offer you want… you ain’t taking it! Those days of settling for less are dead and gone! “No more Mr. nice guy 😏. “How deep is your love” is coming to mind. You want to make sure someone or people are keeping to their word. I also see you wanting to know/ learn more. You’re asking more questions now, you’re willing to dig deep and get your hands dirty. Like I said before, if it ain’t what you want or looking for, you’re not going for it! So congratulations on this beautiful growth! Your spirit are definitely happy for you and proud of you for all the steps you had to take, all the work you had to do because now, people are fucking with a goddess 😏. Bird singing/ whistling is a confirmation that this reading is for you 💋.

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dxmedstudent · 9 days ago

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Question about iuds I am looking to get mirena because I am worried about the future administration and I don’t want to be in an oh shit position if I don’t have it but my mom is asking why I am getting an iud? And she asked if I was sexually active? I forgot to say no I want it for that situation. Is it bad to get if you only have one bad day of cramping and heavy flow periods no having any penetrative sex?

No, it's not bad at all. I'm sorry your mum is being difficult.

Plenty of people start on contraception for hormonal reasons - a lot of people start pills because it's easier, but some do go to the mirena first, especially if their periods are heavy. But you can have normal periods. This is an article in which the author got one as someone who wasn't sexually active and quotes clinicians.

This website is UK based but it goes into a good level of detail in terms of what is useful to know about the IUD and how to prepare.

If your mum can't see your doctor's records, you can tell the clinician the truth - that you're sexually active or plan to be in the next 8 years and want to be covered during that time. It's fine to also get it because you might be sexually active at any point during that time.

I would tell your mum that you've been doing your research due to fears that this administration may take away all hormonal treatments abd BC and want to protect yourself whilst you can.

You can tell her that you've heard it's good for heavy and painful periods, and you'd like to improve your quality of life, and that's your main reason. But also tell her that the mirena lasts up to 8 years and whilst you aren't active now*, 8 years is a long time, and you might want that benefit in the future - because even if you got married** you probably wouldn't want kids immediately - and would take it out as soon as you were ready. But if the admin has banned it, it may be extremely expensive or hard to access that kind of care.

*it's OK to lie to your parents if it's a way to keep you safe. As long as you're old enough to consent and consenting (if not it's more complex, and that's a whole other discussion), it's not their business when you have sex.

**if your parents are conservative and think sex should only be within marriage, it may help to remind them that even married couples choose when they feel ready for kids! Even the most conservative parents should accept that at SOME point you'll probably be having sex- even if they can only imagine that to be in a heterosexual married relationship.

#askdx #ask dx #contraception #reproductive rights #medicine #reproductive health

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ididntwanttohavetohauntyou · 1 year ago

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On the double standards of Taylor’s love life and Swifties’ role in Taylor’s reputation

{Fair warning: this is kind of long and I actually originally wrote it during the Ratty stuff but it’s relevant now and this post from @9w1ft (specifically the tweet) made me think that maybe this needed to be really laid out there. }

Disclaimer: I am in no way claiming to know what Taylor’s sexuality is definitively, nor am I suggesting that every relationship she’s had with a man was fake, or that she is a lesbian. I myself have experienced enough bi erasure and biphobia to know better, but I had to put this out there explicitly so hetlors don’t have that as a “gotcha”.

Swifties have the lowest possible standards for whom they consider to be a boyfriend of Taylor’s.

Their standards are a) the media has to stir something up b) they have to interact distantly in some public capacity before they c) walk around together (holding hands or not).

I can give you the names so many women with whom Taylor acted like that, often for longer periods of time and with more interaction than a couple dinners and pap walks or whatever she’s done with those men. And that’s without time to go do research which would doubtlessly turn up more names.

To name some examples:

Karlie Kloss, Diana Agron, Selena Gomez, Gigi Hadid, Blake Lively, Cara Delevingne, Martha Hunt, Sophie Turner, Lorde, all three Haim sisters, Zoe Kravitz, Emma Stone, Camila Cabello, Lily Aldridge, Lily Donaldson.

(To be clear, I’m not suggesting that Taylor dated all or most of those women.)

Now, I have no doubt that if most swifties looked up photos of Taylor with a lot of those women they’d go “they aren’t even doing anything in that picture” or “they’re just walking side by side” or whatever else.

THAT’S THE POINT

I’m 1000% sure that if you photoshopped a man into basically any of those pics people would assume they’re dating because they’re walking together.

Almost all of Taylor’s supposed boyfriends have had significantly less interaction with her than those women, but people don’t hesitate to say she’s dating the men. Her team can and will deny it, but swifties will add a name to their list anyway, and that creates a whole other problem.

The sl*t shaming:

In my opinion, the sl*t shaming that Taylor has experienced for about the last 15 years has been, at least in part, because of swifties who jump to conclusions about men she’s seen with. When her own fans believe she’s dated however many guys, it’s that much easier for the media to repeat that and twist it to be negative.

If you wouldn’t look at a random guy and girl standing within a few feet of each other or walking together and come to the conclusion that they must be dating, why do you assume that about Taylor? Or, for that matter, does every person of the opposite gender that you associate with have to be your SO?

[And yes that can easily be turned around on Gaylors, but the whole point is that we aren’t solely using proximity to link potential exes or lovers to Taylor. We actually do the analysis of the lyrics, we break down the connections, we do the research.]

My point is that swifties have contributed on a large scale to Taylor’s sl*t shaming in a way that should make them think twice about who they claim she’s dating. Unfortunately as we’ve seen with this M*tty situation {and now the football guy}, they don’t seem to have the self awareness to realize how they’ve aided such a disgusting campaign of hate.

One more thing: you can say that no one will say those things now anyway because Taylor is on top of the world and they wouldn’t dare sl*t shame the Queen of Pop or “The Music Industry”. You might even be right. But if you do this and feel no guilt or shame over how your actions may have played a part in the several intense periods of sl*t shaming that Taylor has gone through previously, you need to think about why that is.

Taylor said it best in her speech at the Grammy museum in September 2015. She was introducing Blank Space and talking about the situation that made her write the song.

“In the last couple of years the media have had a really wonderful fixation on kind of painting me as like the psycho serial dater girl… It got pretty out of control there for a couple of years because… every article would be like, Taylor Swift Standing Near Some Guy. Watch Out Guy!”

That sounds insane, and it was definitely worse then than it is now, but the fact that it’s happening right now at all is ridiculous. Swifties need to stop helping the media tie Taylor’s name to men as if that makes her relevant. She’s a highly awarded singer, songwriter, and performer who has set and broken records (and then broken the ones she’s set) countless times. Swifties need to stop pretending that dating someone is what makes her interesting or we’re no better than the people who think she only writes breakup songs.

#sorry that this is so long #I’m sure I left stuff out though so definitely feel free to add #okay i’ll shut up now #kaylor #gaylor #gaylor swift #lgbetty #friends of dorothea

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windvexer · 2 years ago

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Hi chicken! I’m in a bit of a sore spot when it comes to spirit work and psychism and have been for a LONG while. Between my hard skepticism keeping my brain bricked off from most of my intuition and my adhd preventing me from focusing for long periods of time I’m kind of at a loss… I have no idea if I’ve ever had an encounter with any kind of spirit, only one persistent instance comes to mind and I have trouble discerning if it’s just…an imaginary friend? A thoughtform? I have 0 experience with the latter for multiple reasons. I have no problems with mental visualization because my profession requires it, but where does normal visualization begin and spirit communication end? I’m not sure where im going with all of this, maybe I just wanted someone else to know my spirit troubles 🥲 I guess all this to say, I’m desperate to communicate with ANYTHING, but nothing ever comes except that one guy who may or may not be a spirit. Am I being too stubborn? Do spirits think my vibes stank? (I promise my vibes aren’t stank) honestly forcing open any psychic stimulation sounds good right about now, any opinions or advice would be incredibly appreciated 🙇🏻‍♀️

I am going to tell you something very terrible and claustrophobic.

I do not believe you are a skeptic, I am sorry to say. I find that all the best spirit workers are deeply skeptical.

Perhaps a good way to view skepticism is the ability to be comfortable with uncertainty. A skeptic is a person who can look at something and neither take it at face value, nor wholly discard the experience and refuse to accept it.

I am not sure I believe in such a thing as "hard skepticism." Skepticism is by definition and necessity soft. It is gentle. It tenderly accepts what is shown to it and cradles it whole, declining to pass judgement one way or the other.

What is the difference between the decision making process of a "hard skeptic" who refuses to believe, and a "true believer" who refuses to doubt? Both have bricked off parts of their minds. Neither are comfortable with uncertainty. Neither can hold onto a thing with soft hands and say to it with love, "I'm uncertain about you."

So I remain unconvinced you are a skeptic.

But that's not the terrible and claustrophobic thing I came here to say.

Where does visualization end and spirit contact begin?

Visualization does not end. They are not opposite ends of a polar spectrum. Visualization, as in, "I can see pictures inside of my mind" is not requisite to spirit contact and spirit contact does not stem organically from visualization.

Visualization in and of itself is one way some people process ideas. I am a very visual thinker. But I've also got one of those voices in my head that constantly says words. So I'm not only a very visual thinker, but I'm a very auditory one too.

When I communicate with spirits, of course I "see" them and "hear" them.

That was already how my brain was processing things!

I suppose when someone has a thinking style where they are aware of things sans pictures or words, they just hold onto that knowledge, right, it's just there with them, we'd call that claircognizant.

But it's not as if such a person would set out to be claircognizant.

It's just that such a person already had a mind that holds information sans pictures or words, and when they also open themselves up to spirit contact, that's still how they process information.

Earlier in my life I had a very troubled relationship with my own emotions. And when I started really healing my relationship with my own emotions, so that I could begin to actually feel them, face them with confidence, and so on, can you guess what happened?

Why, yes - I suddenly began to receive emotional input from the spirit world as well. Did I suddenly gain some new psychic ability?

No. Feeling emotions is not requisite for spirit work. Visualization is not requisite for spirit work.

Being in tune with yourself is requisite for spirit work. Understanding the channels within your body and mind that receive information is requisite for spirit work. Working on yourself to the point where you are able to understand how sensory input arrives within you, how you process it, and how it personally affects you, are requisite for spirit work.

It is you, your body, emotions, and mind, which is your primary tool for spirit work. Now, you already know some things about yourself. You know you are a visual thinker and you know it is likely you'll receive spirit input as visual images. And you have something else very great as well: a failsafe. Yes, your hard skepticism - the moat and drawbridge that keeps you safe.

But that's not the terrible and claustrophobic thing I came here to say.

That terrible thing is: how fortunate for you that you are a hard skeptic. How lucky you are that there is some part of your mind which, at every opportunity, seeks to totally block out the reality of the spirit world around us.

Because it is everywhere.

No, not spirits - although there are a lot of them and in many more places than we'd suspect.

The spirit world. It's everywhere. We're in the middle of it, right now. We're swimming through it. We breathe it when we meditate. We eat it with our omelettes. We step on it when we walk to our cars.

The first thing every hopeful spirit worker wants? "How do I do it, how do I connect?"

The very second thing? "Sweet Jesus, how do I turn this off?"

There is no difference between being able to see spirits and being able to see the spirit world. There is no difference in talking to a spirit and talking to a spell.

It all starts to dissolve - all the lines between dead and alive, sentient and merely present, within and without. You break down one or two barriers and suddenly you're scrambling back onto dry land, searching for lines in the sand on your hands and knees.

So you see - skepticism is totally vital. There's hardly a better way to survive the process than to look these experiences dead in the eye and say, "I am completely uncertain about all of this."

But you've got to be uncertain about quite a lot of it before you can be certain about any of it, and if you're anything like me those islands of certainty will be few and far-between.

I do not mean you're lucky to have your hard skepticism because the things out there are evil, or scary, or anything like that.

I find most of them to be joyous, friendly, beautiful - nice stuff like that.

I just mean that it's A Lot.

And it's everywhere.

And once you learn how to tap into it, the real skill is turning it off.

And once you've learned to dwell in it, the first challenge is finding your own little island - things that you can experience which you are no longer skeptical about, but become sure of.

Well, that's a bit misleading. It's never things you become sure about. It's yourself. The island is what you feel you can accurately discern and come to strong educated guesses about which pan out correctly a majority of the time.

Maybe your ostensible spirit man could help you with that - if he makes the cut.

All those exercises, you know - this or that meditation, this or that visualization exercise - they're really more for getting to know yourself, more like platforms to launch yourself off of. Convenient runways to barrel down.

I suppose it doesn't matter how nice the runway is when you always get to the end and say, "no, this isn't working - this isn't real; I can't believe it's real." That's the drawbridge keeping you in your nice, safe castle.

But maybe I'm being too hard about the hard skepticism thing. I mean, if you're operating under the notion that there is some way knowing your thoughts translates into having a conversation, I can see where the disconnect comes from.

The manual release switch for the drawbridge exists elsewhere. It is not experiencing your castle which is your problem - it is letting the rest of the world in.

So invite yourself to experience.

Then turn around and give yourself a good, long look in the eye, take yourself gently by the shoulders, and say with love: "I am completely uncertain about all of this."

Discernment comes with experience. Telling thought from spirit comes with experience. We make mistakes. We make foolish mistakes. We make mistakes we will laugh about and we make mistakes that make our toes curl in rank shame.

Experience many things. Are you just sitting and meditating? Go talk to a tree. Build a shrine for your house spirits and talk to them. Talk to a god. Talk to an ancestor. Go out in the world and look at the spirits inside of people. Look at the spirits of highway intersections and old buildings. Look for the spirits inside your food, inside of old antiques, and inside of mass-produced garbage.

Look for spirits in corners and in the backs of dusty shelves. Look inside of churches and used car lots. Let uncertainty be your constant companion.

Give yourself permission.

Learn to turn it off again.

#answered #spirits #communication

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accio-victuuri · 1 year ago

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I don’t know if this is CPN but i am interested in all the astrology stuff when it comes to zz and wyb. so I understand if some people are not into that. During the roadshow, one of the people who attended is this 陶白白Sensei blogger ( with 18 million followers ) who posts about astrology. they describe for example what a certain zodiac sign is like and so on on their blog. they were invited to the event and was even asked to speak because WYB opened about how leo(s) like being praised. This person then described what a leo is ( intense people who will do what they set their mind to and sometimes even forget to eat or sleep. they don’t care if people laugh about them ) and people noticed how yibo was nodding along.

he agrees and seems like he knows how on point the description is for him and other leo(s). the blogger seems to think so too because of what he shared on his account.

now here comes the CPN part. Back in 9/16/2021, this blogger posted a reading about leo and libra and lots of the comments are about zz and wyb.

“Today I will talk about the pair of Leo and Libra.The short time it takes for the Leo-Libra pair to fall in love, and the heat. The sweetness of love will really far exceed everyone's imagination.”

the funny thing is his response to the people’s comments:

What's going on, every time I write this series, there will be comments. Isn't this the XX and XXX? Mysterious, after all Is it xxx and xxx??? It makes me want to knock.

( knock meaning, wants to know more about this cp for themselves. XX = XZ XXX = WYB )

So here’s some excerpts from that article. Actually, this post is just an excuse to feed my leo x libra compatibility agenda too 😂😂😂

This is pretty long but i love it. Lol. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Basically, as long as you look each other in the eye, even if you have only known each other for a week, as long as the Leo takes the initiative to express good feelings, Libra will give a response, as long as there is a response to make the Leo’s confidence increase, he will work harder to create romance.

Libra likes this feeling of being surrounded by love too much, and they will not think about the past, do not think about the future, and choose to be together when the emotional atmosphere is up.

Therefore, if you can be together quickly within a month or two of being together, if you almost feel more than a few months, that is really almost meaningful, and you will quickly calm down and feel inappropriate after being together.

To put it bluntly, as long as love makes both of them unable to recover their senses, their relationship will quickly heat up and enter a long period of love.

That is, as long as one party feels that it is not what they want, the relationship will always be stuck in that place without results.

Back to what I just said, enter the long period of love.

Why is it a long love period?

The most suitable point of Libra is actually complementarity, in intimate relationships, the lion is a person with a strong desire to express, and Libra is a person with a strong ability to appease.

The lion can find its own dependence on the other party in the process of expression, and Libra can find a sense of participation in the relationship from the time it confides in the opposite direction.

These two are people who hate hypocritical socialization, and the usual group of fox friends have long had enough, but they are too bored to participate in those time-wasting activities.

Now that someone who knows that he loves himself has appeared, he is willing to go home and call the other party for 3 hours, and he is not willing to go out and waste time and energy.

This kind of love will change the lifestyle of two people, and it will really directly become the most important part of the life of two people, and even the spiritual pillar.

To put it bluntly, lions have always been such people, but many people cannot meet the lion's longing and dependence on love, resulting in the lion himself being disappointed and does not want to rely too much on feelings.

But Libra is different, Libra really likes the feeling of having a person dependent on himself, he will not be bored or slack at all. He will answer calls as late as possible, how boring things he is willing to share, and how meaningless quarrels he will answer.

In fact, it is precisely because Libra is always righteous, he will pay special attention to the words spoken by the lion, even if the lion is guilty of deliberately looking for a sense of existence, Libra will patiently play with him.

What is this called?

In Internet parlance, this makes me understand your cute love, you understand my weirdness.

Some friends may start crying when they look at it, "It was true at the beginning, but then he changed, and the relationship between the two people deteriorated, and they couldn't go back." ”

Indeed, this is also the biggest contradiction between the feelings of these two people.

The problem now is that both of them have too much hope for this relationship and too strong a vision for the future.

In fact, these two people are very contradictory, the lion is fierce, Libra is more fierce than the lion, they often get unhappy because of a sentence that does not coincide, sulking.

But the vast majority of contradictions do not break out because they are bowing their heads for love to make way for love, not for each other.

Many times, they are angry and do not say, they are afraid of affecting their feelings, and this fear must be because two people have had an earth-shattering quarrel, so that both people are afraid of this scene again.

The key to the problem is here, these two people must really quarrel for no reason, such as today I called you you perfunctory me, tomorrow I sent you a message you did not reply in time, the day after tomorrow I asked you out to eat you said you have something, the day after tomorrow I lie down very bored you go out to play.

As long as one party is out of balance, he will suddenly burst out after chewing for a few days, and then attack the other party.

The lion is a man who cannot speak, and Libra is a man who says he will fight back.

Therefore, no matter who is looking for whose trouble, it will definitely break out into a "war".

As long as one of the two people has an unbalanced mentality, this "war" will break out regularly.

It is never because of what happened, but because of grievances.Passive people are wronged, and active people are even more wronged.

Once tired of the quarrel, the two people began to recover and think about why this relationship became like this, whether the two people are compatible, and whether there is a future, and the spiritual belief brought by the relationship will also collapse.

As I said earlier, when these two people are in love, they will leave their lives behind and start a new relationship life, when they try to return to their previous life and find that it will be easier and happier.

This relationship may never go back.

Because they have given too much in their relationship, when they start to care about who is right and who is wrong, and who pays more and who pays less, they will feel that both of them are emotional "victims".

They will feel that neither of them did anything wrong, it's the fault of their relationship, they are inappropriate people and shouldn't be together...

To be honest, I can only analyze these, and I can't help anyone.

When these two people fall in love, they will protect their exclusive feelings to the utmost, and they will not listen to outsiders at all...

The biggest problem is that they imagine their relationship too beautifully, and the blow of reality will make them suspect that their relationship has deteriorated.

Normal mind is very important, don't focus on how to keep two people from quarreling, this will only make both of them feel more wronged when there is a real quarrel.

The key to success is that after the quarrel is over, whether you can make three chapters calmly, and when you find that there is a gap between two people, whether you can go out for a walk and relax, then sit down and communicate calmly, and ease the grievances in each other's hearts.

Don't think that feelings should be sacred, so avoid talking about impurities in feelings! ! !

Only by cleaning out the impurities will the relationship last and then sublimate.

Persistence and belief are very important, and maintenance and communication are more important.

MY GOD. If this piece does not describe what we have seen and speculated about ZZ and WYB then I don’t know. It’s so clear why BXGs responded to it and how “accurate” it is. 😌😌😌

CPFs are thinking about this guy who attended the show and saw WYB, did he think about that article years ago? How people reacted to the Leo x Libra pair and he got interested with ZZ and WYB?

This also reminds me of the 95% compatibility reading.

Anyway, these boys and their love is truly favored by the Universe and even if there are obstacles, I believe they will stay together <3

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

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