#with the way his family is it really could've been anyone they're all saying fucked up shit all the time

[literallyjusttoa]

Found an old sketch of Apollo that I think was supposed to be part of a comic? but i don't remember what the rest of it was supposed to be. Anyways I repurposed it and added in my lil headcanon that Apollo's scars from his time as Lester show up on his godly form whenever he loses control of himself post-ToA. Cuz that's fun.

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[r3ynah]

THE FAMILY OF BEAUTIES

The girls the boys they all like Carmen.

(In this scenario Carmen is the fentons).

I just want to headcanon, that the Fenton's have a ethereal type of beauty, not sexy or hot. Ethereal, like if you didn't know that they're a family of Mad scientist, a obsessive therapist and a dead boy. they could've passed as deity's.

And the amity park's citizens can and will totally agree, they might've disagree and fight for a lot of things but the only thing they can agree on was the Fenton's was down to earth beautiful.

Like Jack Fenton for example, He has built that can seemingly bench you without any hesitation, but a himbo at heart, the greys of his hair compliments way it mixes with the black hair of his, if Jack isn't in his ghost hunting suit, he is pretty decent when it comes to his fashion sense, When Jazz first brought along her friends, the first thing they asked was if Jack was single, which caused Jazz to smack their heads individually with a newspaper.

And don't get me started with Madeline Fenton, because I cannot stop when it comes to her, My girl with her short straight Reddish-brown hair, looks like a masculine but also feminine beauty, Can and will bench you, if you have any ill intent towards her family, she came from a long line of riches if I say so myself. Tall as fuck, about 6'7 while Jack is 7'0. very elegant when it comes to fighting, that it looks like she's just dancing, Was titled as a Milf by Danny's classmate which made the boy groan in annoyance, Sam and Tucker calls out to Maddie and says "Mother is Mothering", just to get something out of Danny who looks at them with disgust knowing full well what they were trying to do. While Maddie is just happy for the kids to see her as a mother figure.

Now Jazz, My love, my girl. Her long Red hair that came down to her hips, and her blue eyes, made all the girls and boys in her college swoon, with her 6'4 figure she strutted down the halls with confidence, beauty and brains everyone would oh so called it, and her knowledge in martial arts didn't lessen her attractiveness, The humans and ghosts can agree with that delightfully.

And now her dearest sibling Danny, Danny is a nonbinary fuck that can gender envy anyone he meets, that's why he got bullied in the first place, he was too fucking beautiful and handsome at the same time, all the boys and girls of his school have atleast had a crush on him, He was the only cute boy there, what could they do? He stared at them with his icey colored eyes that made their legs tremble from the pressure, and that black hair that always seemed messy but in a good way. It didn't help when he got that lichtenberg scar, that ran up his neck and the side of his face. you should've seen him in P.E cause my guy got everyone staring at him.

And the Fenton family has fashion sense, if they really put their mind and soul into it, everytime they dressed up for a family reunion or just an outing it was a very sweet treat for everyone's eyes. like how it is right now.

The Amity parkers waved goodbye at the Fenton's as they went on and attended a gala they were invited to, it was supposedly because of the sudden rise and popularity of their works and how's it been helping the environment.

One citizen sighed as he looked at the car that family was driving as it slowly became smaller and smaller.

"You think they can handle Gotham, heard nasty thing bout that place." She questioned

"Girl, Gotham should be the one readying to handle them, that family may be beautiful, but their crazy." Her friend's answered

"well that does give them a more attractive look isn't it?"

"I hate how you're right."

__

The Gala the Fenton's went to certainly had an awkward atmosphere when they went inside, all the guest kept staring at them that it was starting to get creepy, did they overdress or underdressed, come on just walk towards start to talk or criticize them, because it's starting to get embarrassing for the family.

Gotham wasn't fucking prepared to meet the Fentons like as in, They had been awestrucked when the family walked in. A very tall man seemingly in his 40's with his hair gelled back, and a suit that fitted him too perfectly, gosh dang, even the homophobic guests couldn't help but stare, And then there was his Wife her straight her was curled and brushed out leaving a wavy effect that compliments her face shape, and that dress she was wearing was utterly gorgeous, fancy but also simple and mature, the heels certainly helped her height more and made her look more intimidating, The ladies blushed when she looks at them and smiles.

And don't get them started with the couples children, who looked adorable and elegant at the same time, The older sister had a aura that says: 'Im in your presence bow down' (And they would've if it was in a more private area due to the paparazzi's out the window). She wore a spaghetti strapped dress that had a slit on either side and was , making it more comfortable to move in for the girl, partnered by a white shawl made of silk, she had heels that also complimented he already tall stature, her hair was tied in a neat bun, with a few strands free to not make her face feel bare. And lastly the youngest everyone assumed, wearing a suit, double-breasted suit that was elegant and sophisticated it matched the way his hair is messed up for him to still look young, he was also wearing a black shawl that had specks of white making it look like stars. The family had a colour scheme of green, that made all gothamites present swoon, Including a certain family of bats.

(I might make a fanart of this later.)

[weirdwildwonderland]

How TUA should've ended

Lila and Five relationship-Lila and Five don't spend 7 years in the subway. They do get lost, but it's more like two years this time (whoever thought of 7 years was crazy). Two years is enough for Five and Lila to almost kill each other many times, enough for them to cry to each other one night and swear to never talk about it again. Enough for many bouts of food poisoning and starvation and cold nights when the train didn't show up. Enough for Lila to keep waking up with a sick feeling in her stomach because she keeps having dreams where she wakes up in her house, with Grace and the twins and Diego just downstairs. Enough for Five to stay awake as he wipes silent tears away because he's thinking of his siblings. The only ones who have been there for him. They find the strawberry timeline near the end of the two years, and it only makes them miss everyone more. There's a lump in Five's throat as he mutters something about how "wish we could've taken the idiots here" and Lila starts to cry, because something about this timeline is so warm and safe, because she would give ANYTHING to have a Saturday morning with her family again, Diego making her coffee, waking up the twins, reading to Grace. She finds a delicate silver bracelet on the floor of the greenhouse, and remembers how her father gave Grace a bracelet just like this when she was born, and that's when she breaks, and Five begrudgingly helps her off of the floor and pats her on the back. They find the notebook a few days later, and both of them well up as they ride the subway back. It's only been a few hours for the rest of them, and as Diego hugs Lila again, this guilty feeling wells up in her chest, because she remembers how they were before, how distant they had become. But he's still here, somehow. So they go inside and she starts crying when she sees everyone. Diego asks about the bracelet and Lila and Five exchange a look. You tell him. No, you. Diego asks if something has been going on, and it all comes out. Lila crumbles even more. Isolation does funny things to the emotions.

They all finish watching the dance of the sugar plum fairy before the news about Ben flashes onto the screen. It's the most peaceful hour or so of this whole fucked up week

2. They get swallowed by the cleanse.

3. And then they all wake up in the void. All of them are dazed and drained. The man on the TV is talking about shattered timelines (or something related to the themes of time in the show). God watches on her bicycle as they slowly figure out that they lost their powers again. Diego starts crying because he realizes Ben isn't there and Lila comforts him. Luther looks more worried about Diego than about the fact that they're dead. Allison, Klaus, and Viktor seem glad that their powers are gone. Five just looks happy that they're all still together. Klaus goes up to God.

He says something along the lines of "Hey, I'm happy that I can still come up here and all, but you need to get us back down somehow, because there's no way I'm spending all of eternity with THEM. Plus, I have nieces and a nephew and I hope they're...not up here too."

She says something like "They're not."

He stares at her.

She says "I think you're insufferable. I don't know anyone who comes up here multiple times and then goes back down."

"Look, God, I've had it up to HERE with my life so far, and I can say the same about all of them over there. But I've gone through some things recently, and it made me realize that I would really like to keep living it, if you wouldn't mind. And," he points at everyone "they have their reasons. And they deserve to live the rest of their lives out, too."

She stares at him. "I've had it up to here with you too. You know, I watch you down there, sometimes. I think you're better off there. Not up here, annoying me. Plus," she looks over at everyone else (they're freaking out/arguing etc) "it's too early for all of you to be here."

She picks 8 marigolds from her basket and plucks the heads off. They fall to the ground and new sprouts start coming up from the earth. "Whatever was in you, it's gone now." She looks over at everyone, annoyed. "Oh yeah, I forgot you need help to get back." She rolls her eyes.

"You know, you kind of remind me of my niece." Klaus says

She snaps her fingers

Cut to black again.

Cut to outside Diego and Lila's house. It's hot out, and they all wake up on the asphalt in their winter clothes. Everyone starts complaining about how hot it is. Diego gets up and knocks at the door. No one knows what day it is. For all they know, their kids could be teenagers now, and that scares him.

Someone bumps into Lila on the street, and it's the Handler. Only, she's not. She's just a normal woman talking on her cellphone, and she looks at Lila apologetically before continuing her conversation. A woman looks at Viktor and asks him if he needs help off the ground. It's Grace, and she's walking with a baby stroller. Viktor nudges Diego and they're both speechless.

The door opens, and Lila's mom answers. Lila bursts into tears and hugs her. Grace and Claire come to the door and Grace says something about "you didn't pick me up from camp on time, Mommy! And Coco's been crying for FIFTEEN minutes, that's what Grandma said. I think she misses you. Oh, and Ben (boy twin) broke a bowl, but Grandpa said it's okay" and Claire rolls her eyes and asks what they're all doing dressed in coats and tells them that they're all so weird. Grace turns to Claire and accusingly says "You never told me that grownups cry too." Klaus and Allison both burst into tears too, Luther and Viktor look like they're about to cry, and Five just looks the most relieved he's ever been in his life.

Lila's mom sighs and says "Come in, everyone. I don't want to know what you've gotten yourselves into now, but you look hungry. It's too hot out to cook, so you're eating the leftovers." Diego is still crying, but he starts to laugh. And then Five starts laughing too. And then the rest of them. Lila's mom tells them that they really need to get inside now before someone starts looking at them weird.

Cut to shot of all of them walking into the house, taking off their shoes, flopping onto the couch, hugging their kids, etc. Continue to "I think we're alone now" montage of all the side characters walking on the street living life as normal people.

POGO: On the twelfth hour of the 8th day of August, 2024, nothing out of the ordinary happened. You might say it was just a normal day.

Cut to black

Credits roll

Post credits scene

There's a knock on the door. Ben walks in looking dazed, holding Jennifer's hand. "What's up, assholes? I'm back!" he says, before everyone groans and the screen cuts to black again.

END S4E6

[magicxc]

Frenemies

Pairings: Survey Corps - people they cannot STAND

Word Count: 1076

Warnings: none

A/N: Idk man I love a good tussle jskksks. Like give me two characters who absolutely hate each other! And with AOT I really don't have to look too far, yay. This is basically canon but it's funny to think about so here it is as well. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren  - Jean, Weak People

I think the Jean one gets over exaggerated a little, and for good reason too, cause the girlies be EATING with those tropes. But at the end of the day they have a mutual understanding and are cordial at best. They're mostly cool because they share mutual friends and spaces but it’s no longer beef per se. 

Hear me out, I don't think anyone wiping out 80% of humanity is willing to kick it with people who aint about it. Mans need someone who’s willing to stand on business behind him. Even throughout the show he’s always admitted to not liking people who’s willing to live like “livestock.” So this is not to be confused with physically weak people by the way but psychologically weak people. Essentially Eren has beef if you’re willing to take it lying down. 

Levi - Zeke

Listennnn I LIVE for their fight scenes okay lmao. Like it's almost always on sight for them and their lil jabs at one another? It’s chucklessss for me omg. Lets be clear, their beef is absolutely warranted. It can be safely argued that Levi doesnt really care for most people but Zeke?? Oh baby its all smoke for him. 

Erwin - The Government 

I swear if it wasn't for the literal fate of humanity and his brewing theory Erwin would've just said fuck it cause baybeeee, they wanted that man GONE. They've tried to get him fired, pointed guns in his face, and built a whole ass guillotine to unalive him; in front of the entire town mind you. Maybe that was the custom back then I don't know. I don’t remember Erwin outright saying that he doesn't fuck with the government but fuck it, I’ll say it for him. Cause I'll stand ten toes down behind this one here. 

Connie - Ymir

I promise you I let out a nasty ole chuckle at the thought cause he don't even dislike her fr fr. I think it's a situation similar to Eren and Jean's in the sense that their friends and environment often see them in the same places. Because if we’re being real, not only do they have little in common but they just don't really vibe like that. I think they could've been a little more cordial but Ymir be on her own timing and it's usually at the expense of the squad. Like when she made fun of Connie for suspecting his mother was a titan or when she kidnapped Historia like 3 times and put them all in danger. And I can't even be mad at Connie for being the voice of reason cause him calling her ugly was simply the truth. I, too, reared back when I first saw Ymir's titan form. 

Jean - Eren, Reiner, Annie, Bertholt

The whole Eren thing is basically squashed but it’s worth noting that if he were to see him in public, he’d walk the other way. 

I lowkey had to dig deep for this one cause I genuinely forgot. But even though they’re all kumbaya now, those three bitches literally watched his homie get half his face chewed off by a titan. Jean is absolutely pouring one out for Marco every birthday by the way, but yeahh it’s still fuck them. Like if they were playing uno stacked, he’d save all his draw 4’s and make them draw 16. 

Onyankopon - Yelena

I'm not too sure that Ony dislikes anyone honestly. But I'm going with Yelena here mostly because she’s the reason he found himself in his current predicament. On what was supposed to be a solid plan in motion to save his people quickly turned into Ony modernizing a primitive people, helping build their resources from scratch, having people question his race (and I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar it was mfs that got ignorant), seeming untrustworthy among his peers, almost getting killed, fighting in a war he had nothing to do with, and probably losing his entire family in the rumble. Now, one or two of those things were inevitable, but if you were to view things from Ony’s POV everything went to shit over a bitch with a fatal attraction to a man with daddy issues. 

Reiner - Himself

Lmaooo I LOVE a good Reiner drag. And while this started out as a joke, I'm deadass now. This man stays talking about wanting to end it all but never follows through, smh. With lots of therapy and support, I genuinely think that Reiner would be on the road to recovery and a healthy lifestyle; but there’ll always be that lingering thought on if he���s worth it or not

Honorable mention: Ymir. But solely because she would get in the way of his fantasy life with Historia. 

Armin - Floch? 

This munchkin is damn near Tanjiro levels of sweet cause omg who does he even hate??? He is always looking for the good in people and I'm about to dislocate my shoulder reaching this hard BUT, hear me out - It’s Floch even if he doesn’t outright say it. The same Floch who damaged the flying boat and almost ruined their mission before it even started? The same Floch who fucked it up so bad that Hange had to sacrifice herself which resulted in Armin taking on an even bigger responsibility? The same Floch who got in a lil too close with his bestie Eren? Close enough to be trusted with his future plans? The same Floch who when he lay on that ground bleeding Armin was nowhere in sight? Even at the port where they attacked the Yeagerists and Armin got shot in the face, he pleaded with his old comrades to stand down but Floch is beneath that level of reasoning huh? Whether Armin despises Floch or not it's safe to say if Floch were getting jumped, Armin would definitely sneak in a kick before helping. 

Floch - Erwin

This is literally one of those cases where its like I disagree but I understand lol. That man legit made them do a suicide charge and yeah he lead the charge blah blah blah but I could never be that brave. And so that resentment is understandable but in all fairness it shaped Flochs character for the better to be honest; cause that whole pwussy boi arc was annoying. 

Also adding the main cast of the Scouts lmao. They thwarted his plans and he spent his DYING breath standing on business. Gotta respect it.

Tags - @eveningatthemoviesnetwork

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Do you have a favorite Bridgerton book/storyline?

Favorite/Least Favorite changes book to show?

So let me start this answer by saying that I haven’t watched any of season 3 yet. 🫣 Part of that is money reasons. We pared down our streaming services to the minimum when money was tight and I just haven’t gotten around to renewing my Netflix. Probably will once the rest of season 3 drops because… (book spoilers below the cut)

My 3 favorite books/storylines are:

1) When He Was Wicked (Francesca & Michael Stirling) because holy damn and hell and everything holy in between. Michael Stirling is the epitome of making consent sexy. That's all I'm gonna say about that, but I've seen enough talk and gif's floating around here to know that they've introduced John Stirling already and I am HERE for them laying the groundwork for a season five or six focused on Francesca and Michael Stirling.

2) Romancing Mr. Bridgerton (Colin & Penelope) asfklsjfksanfs. I loved how sweet their story is, enough that I am mildly concerned about how they're going to deal with the massive change on the show, i.e. the fact that book!Lady Whistledown didn't nearly bring ruin and humiliation down on the Bridgerton family at all, let alone twice. On the one hand, I understand why show!Penelope did this and I kind of love that they've given her this massive mistake, this huge flaw for her and Colin to work through. But also 🫣 I don't have an excessive amount of faith in them handling these kinds of changes well on the show because the show is all about The Drama. Which brings me to...

3) The Viscount Who Loved Me (Anthony & Kate) Look. I absolutely love some of the changes they've made while translating the books to screen. And I don't even care all that much for the historical accuracy of the show. They threw it out the window with season one and made it a brilliant alternate universe that allows them the freedom to not only give us a diverse cast but also give the middle finger to anyone who says "that' never would've happened." So I'm willing to forgive a lot of changes. Buuuuutttt.... having Anthony actually propose to Edwina, having Edwina actually believing she wanted to marry Anthony, changed the characters in a way that didn't sit very well with me. At least not with the way it was handled on the show.

So that covers my least favorite change they've made on the show so far, now for my two favorite changes.

Benedict. Gah he's so much better, such a more interesting and fleshed out character on the show than he is in the book. They've maintained his fantastic sense of humor and relationships with his siblings and somehow made it better by bringing in the pseudo underground culture of artists, the introduction of queer characters, and his cravats! I could write an ode to show Benedict's wardrobe it is FABULOUS. And while I know I said above that I don't really care for the changes made to Anthony's story, I'm kind of hoping they flip book!Benedict's story on it's head and see where they can take it. Because that book was one of my least favorites. Give him a man. Or give him a woman built like Luisa Madrigal but who sometimes dresses as a man and can pull it off. I don't care but do SOMETHING ELSE besides the nonsense that happens in his book and GIVE HIS PARTNER SOME FUCKING AGENCY.

Queen Charlotte. Look. She's not even in the books, but she's one of my favorite characters on the show. She and Lady Danbury own my whole heart, okay? And her spinoff show... I've only been able to watch it once because (other than the money issue mentioned above), I was crying literal buckets starting somewhere around episode five until the end and I binge watched that shit so what is that like six hours straight crying???? Also, having her as a character gave us Brimsley and Reynolds. (*whispers my poor overworked and beleaguered babies*) I wasn't overly fond of the role she played in dragging out the drama surrounding Anthony and Edwina, but that could've been avoided entirely if you'd given show!Edwina even an ounce of book!Edwina's compassion and understanding of her sister and had her do something equally dramatic like, oh I don't know... TURN HIM DOWN?!?!? (Can you tell I'm still salty about this?)

Alright, that's enough of that. I have a job interview to prepare for, but this was a nice distraction from my inevitable nerves.

Love,

kdnfb

[hakusins]

Very important question from someone you may or may not know:

Are you interested in Greek Mythology? If so, do you have any favourite gods, goddesses, creatures, and myths? Can we also know why you like them? 🎤

yeah i like greek mythology a normal amount. bjhEBRJHFBHJERBFJJEBRHF

BUT IN ALL HONESTY, anon - this ask had me running around clawing at my walls screeching and IT DEFINITELY WOKE UP A LOT OF DEMONS THAT WERE SLEEPING IN MY HEAD HJERBFBJHERF i actually had to take the whole day to just calm myself down.

no i don't like greek mythology i LOVE IT. I ALSO LOVE EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY, NORSE MYTHOLOGY, RIGHT NOW DABBLING INTO EAST ASIAN MYTHOLOGY LIKE KOREAN, JAPANESE AND CHINESE BUT IM GETTING THERE !!!!!! BHJTGBHJRHJHERFHBERFJ GRRRRRGRGGRHETGGRER. !!!!!!!!! IM SUCH A NERD, I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT MYTHS, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYTHS !!!!!!!!!! its why I love the BL series ENNEAD and I LOVE LOVE LOVE xianxia danmei novels because ANYTHING WITH MYTHS WILL HAVE MY HEART!!!!!!

okay now onto your questions! In all honesty, from my very very deep and in depth knowledge of all of them, it is safe to say I can't say i think of any of them as cool or anything. i think they're all assholes one way or another. but i do quite like {oseidon because myths involving him are always the funniest to me JBHREFBJHREF but for goddesses... hm, there's not much but i quite like athena :DDD I honestly don't really have favourite goddesses/gods, but I do have favourite creatures!!!

THE MINOTAUR, ASTERION, IS DEFINITELY MY FAVOURITE !!!! HIS STORY TO ME IS SO TRAGIC, like he was always destined to be a monster - there was no moment since his conception that he could be anything BUT a monster and its just so utterly heartbreaking because this perversion of nature was created just by the gods, so by that principle, shouldn't he be something to be revered? something to be respected? or is it because his mom fucked the sacred bull gifted by Poseidon in order to conceive him that dictates that he is nothing more than a stain on his family, that he was an abomination that shouldn't have been born? bUT NOT ONLY THAT, his creation is the results of the gods' intending to punish King Minos for his arrogance and greed, but they made Queen Pasiphae, his wife, to bear the brunt of the humiliation? Like she's an innocent party in this matter, but she's the one who is forced to bear a half bull child and her husband just gets humiliation? I DONT KNOW ITS JUST, the creature of the Minotaur just fascinates me deeply that I want to nitpick the author or just the person who begun this myth because what was the cultural environment that inspired this myth? Was there a real life event that inspired this? Or was this just a cruel and sick imagination of how mortals think the gods dole out their punishments?

I CAN HONESTLY YAP THE SAME WITH MEDUSA, but Medusa had so many chances to not BECOME the gorgon Medusa. Like there could be timelines where Medusa was not a priestess in Athena's temple, where her tragedy began. Medusa could've chosen to be something or someone else and there's a chance she could've escaped her fate. THE MINOTAUR NEVER GOT THAT CHANCE, hell if you asked anyone with a mild knowledge of Greek mythology, no one would know that the Minotaur's name is Asterion! They only know him as the Minotaur, the beast of the Labyrinth.

but for myths, I honestly can't choose - Helen of Troy? Odysseus? Arachne? King Midas? Ixion? Sisyphus? Tantalus? Lycaon? Europa? The foundation of Athens? The birth of Peresphone? Hades and Persephone? Eros and Psyche? Adonis? Narcissus? Jason and the Argonauts? Perseus? Theseus? Heracles? The Titanomachy? The birth of Aphrodite? The Gigantomachy? Atalante? Typhon and Echidna? The birth of Dionysus? The several renditions of the birth of Zagreus? The birth of Hermes? Achilles and Patroclus? The women of the Amazon? The Titans? Pandora's Box? I CAN GO ON BUT THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT !!! I HONESTLY HAVE SO MUCH FUN AND IM LOVING SO MUCH BERJFJBHERJBFEJHRF URHGRGHT please come back to talk to me about greek mythology anon please please please please, i swear i'm normal.

[surielbonecarver]

Did it annoy anyone else the way Nesta was treated in SF?

Trauma is not an excuse to treat people like shit. I don't excuse the way Nesta treated everyone around her, but tbh they weren't treating her much better either.

The only 2 characters that made me feel they really cared about Nesta was Feyre and Cassian.

Feyre and Cassian make it clear that they don't condone her actions, but they also show over and over how much they truly care about her.

- Rhys: When they had their intervention with Nesta he spent the entire time trying to threaten and intimidate her. What got on my nerves was how both Feyre and Cassian call him out on this, but nothing really comes of it even when he's described as feeling "guilty" for doing so. Another thing that got on my nerves was how it seemed like Feyre was going to put her foot down because he kept crossing a boundary she put in place regarding how he treated Nesta only for the narrative to turn around and say "nope, they're actually jus gonna have sex" (when Rhys dismisses the servants after the intervention and Cassian asks if he dismissed them so they wouldn't have to hear Feyre scolding him for how he acted).

One of the few times we see Feyre actually talk to Rhys about how he treats Nesta, he says that "Elain is Elain" bs. I get that Nesta isn't a Saint and she was definitely in the wrong for how treated everyone, but tbh it really made it feel like the only reason he didn't like her was because she has a disagreeable personality as opposed to Elain who's easier to get along with. Which... to each their own, but if someone said some bs like that to me about my siblings, I'd be pretty pissed tbh.

When it comes to Rhys, it reminds me of when Feyre asked him "how do you know when to be High Lord and when to be family?" Rhys constantly approached Nesta as a High Lord when she really needed family, and apparently seemed to not understand why she kept figuratively slamming the door in his face because of it.

Amren: In the beginning, it did feel like Amren cared for and was concerned about Nesta. But it was the constant slut shaming for me. Definitely could've went without that. It was also how to felt like Amren weaponized her trauma and insecurities against her. Amren used that as an excuse to not tell Nesta something she had every right to know about herself. And then was upset with Nesta when it ultimately ended up blowing up in their faces (Nesta telling Feyre the truth). Even though Nesta didn't do it for the right reasons, it still left a sour taste in my mouth that they got mad at her even though they were the ones that lied to Feyre.

Mor: Mor has literally been Nesta Hater from the beginning, because the bond between Nesta and Cassian has been obvious from day 1 and that threatened the dynamic she had with Cassian and Azriel. Let's be honest and admit that that's why she doesn't like Nesta. All things considered, Nesta has never done anything to Mor personally. Especially nothing to warrant Mor comparing her to the people of the Hewn City aka the people that literally tortured her. When Mor said that, there were question marks floating around my head. Because yes, Nesta can be a bitch sometimes, but comparing her to the people that dumped her outside of the Autumn Court and left her to die? Uh... no. Bffr.

Elain: It was the slut shaming for me. I did the math... after Nesta was put in the House of Wind, and Elain visits her... it had only been 2 weeks since Nesta started rehabilitating. 2 weeks in the HoW, and when Elain comes to Nesta saying stuff that ofc upsets her she wants to say "Nesta isn't getting any better". Babe... it's been 2 weeks. Idk... sibling dynamics are complicated, so I kind of give Elain a little bit of a pass compared to everyone else because of it but the slut shaming really really got me. The way Elain made it seem like she was better than Nesta because "at least she wasn't fucking strangers".

Which was super ironic to me, because it ignores the fact that 95% of the inner circle has said numerous times they they have 1) drowned their problems with alcohol and/or 2) had sex with strangers on numerous occasions. The alcohol and sex was never the problem. The problem was why she was doing it. So it was annoying whenever Amren or Elain made it out like that was the problem, when it wasn't (off the top of my head, they were the only two that actually slut shamed Nesta).

Azriel: He mostly keeps to himself in SF, and there aren't a lot of interactions between him and Nesta, but what gave me the inkling that he at least cared about her was how much care and thought he put into getting a gift for her. Which shows that he took a lot of consideration into her likes and interests.

[buckmpreg]

Trick or treat :D

Okay ti's the season of Halloween soooo

- - - - -

The zombie apocalypse was definitely not on Buck's bingo card for 2024. It wasn't even on his card for the rest of his life.

He always thought that kinda thing could only happen on TV, in horror movies with a comedic twist, in the video games some of his patients would play on their laptops, not in real life.

Being at work as a nurse practitioner on the day of the outbreak meant he got a first row seat at the virus and everything that came along with it.

It was so far out of his control that it's like he blinked, and the entire world was gone. Just him and his favorite patient still there, because he'd had the bright idea to just grab the kid and hide while the army showed up at the hospital and shot up anyone who could've been exposed.

Which was everyone.

Buck's many late-night Wikipedia binges have been good for one thing, and that's his knowledge. He's got a damn good memory when it comes to that shit.

It's how he knows which plants are good to eat, which herbs will help with what, what kind of things they can use to make things better on themselves.

Hes gotten quite good at this whole survival thing.

"How will we know that the treatment worked?" Ravi asks him as Buck hooks him up to his last dose of chemo. "I mean, there's no way to really know it worked."

"This last round of chemo was just to make sure you go into remission, remember?" Buck replies, handing Ravi the stressball he always likes to hold during these moments. "They removed the tumor, they got all of it. They said one last round of chemo, and you'd most likely be in remission. We'll find a way to test it somehow, once you've recovered."

"I miss my mom." Ravi sniffs, leaning his head back on the armchair he's curled up in. Its made of leather and no matter how hard Buck cleans it, it still smells of whiskey and cigars. "I know there's a chance she's alive but... odds are..."

"Hey," Buck says, sitting down on the sofa next to the armchair. "It's better if we don't think about it. I want to believe my sisters out there but... I'll just go insane if I think about it."

"She went out to pick my sister up from her fucking ballet recital." Ravi mutters, looking away. "How could the one moment I'm without my parents be the moment those army men march in?"

Buck just sighs. It's not the first time Ravi's said something like this and it certainly won't be the last. There's nothing Buck can say to make it better.

The kid is 16, battling cancer and the zombie apocalypse. He's allowed to complain and be a little depressed about it. Buck would never begrudge him that, especially when the kid's just lost his entire family.

"I'm sorry, Ravi.' Buck says, giving him a sad smile. "I wish I could make it better, but I can't. All I can do is help you stay alive."

"What's the point?" Ravi asks, letting out a miserable sigh. "Seriously. The world's gone to shit, why do we need to keep living in it?"

"Because life is precious." Buck reaches out and takes Ravi's hand, holding it gently. "Your parents would want you to keep living. We'll find a community eventually, find some way to be safe, even with all this bad. I'll just keep believing enough for the both of us. Okay?"

Ravi doesn't reply, already looking away. They're on the third floor of an abandoned library, because Buck remembered how many useful things could be found there.

There weren't that many zombies to get rid of when they got here. Buck's taped over most of the windows, he's put up all kinds of barriers just in case.

Hes read every survivalist book in this damn building. He's planning on trying to become one of those pre-medicine healers. He knows it will never replace actual doctors and medicine, but he can do a damn good job with what he's learned so far.

Ravi sticks to comic books and horror novels. Buck doesn't understand why he can read the dark horror stuff, but he's just glad the kid's found something he likes. He's even built himself a little annotation kit out of all the supplies found in the library desks.

They don't have electricity, but Buck's found a way to keep things going. He found a radiator that runs on batteries. He found a way for them to use the toilets without needing to flush (plastic bags and mountains of toilet paper from storage).

The sofas actually make pretty good beds. They sleep in a nook designed for reading comfortably, with pillows and two seater sofas and a soft mattress on the floor where Buck knows kids came for a story time in the before.

He pours some water in their little gas stove, and makes Ravi his anti-nausea tea. It was one of the only things left behind at the little corner store Buck raided a couple days ago.

They're only staying here long enough for Ravi to get through his treatment, to recover, get better. Buck has the will to keep him alive, and the skills to do it.

- - - -

No idea why it won't let me select all to make the font smaller but 🙄 sorry it went a bit long heh

[goongiveusnothing]

so my policeman came up on my streaming service the other day and i figured it's now so far out from when it was released that i could watch it with fresh eyes and let me just say, this is a fucking terrible movie.

first thing is, everything about this movie is a tired cliche. from the opening scene where we see old people staring at younger photos of themselves, old timey music singing about nostalgia, flashback sequences, the whole thing felt like a special flashback episode of a soap opera tv series.

i remembered that the reviews had mentioned that the whole premise of harry's character getting married to corrin's while having this gay affair and that it seemed unnecessary and cliched. when reading those reviews i was a bit confused and gave the author and writers of this movie leeway because this was in the 60s so obviously gay guys were more likely to settle down with women and fake being straight while having affairs.

but having watched it i totally get what they meant, because the entire premise of this movie with harry deciding to make this a threeway relationship and get married made absolutely no sense. it would've been way more interesting for harry's character to already be married and then to catch dawson's character in the act of something and then become fascinated and obsessed with him in that way. anything to make these relationships to feel urgent and interesting. there didn't feel like any real pressure for him to do all of this. no pressure from his family, no pressure from the policing agency, nobody almost catching them forcing him to need to do this. once again, instead of creating urgency or a genuine reason to care about this dilemma, it came across forced and stupid and you just didn't care about it, because why should you.

also his whole interest in art and how they first meet feels really dumb. like i said, it would've been way more interesting for them to meet because dawson was caught with dudes or committing some type of offense. but having them sort of know each other casually because he's a cop even though his character obviously hates cops and then they start talking about art is just boring. why not have harry's character be interested in art and be pursuing it on his own and making mistakes and not really knowing what he's doing and maybe he then meets dawson and then sees him in an art class or vice versa. have this interest feel real. have harry's interest in him feel like something he's needed for a while. every piece of this story could've been made more compelling and instead we got the most trite unbelievable narrative instead.

harry styles is a terrible actor. when i saw people describe him as "just being there" in a scene i assumed they meant that he was sort of a background presence and didn't detract from the air in a scene, but he fucking punches the oxygen out of every scene we see him in. it's like he gives every scene covid oxygen depletion. i cannot believe there's anyone who gave him any positive reviews on his acting. he has zero screen presence. zero charisma. he's a vacant black hole of personality. there's no body language, no facial expressions, you will find soap opera actors who give more and feel more tempered when they're walking in the background of a scene than in this.

but the absolute worst thing about him is his voice acting. he reads scripts like the kids in class would read out shakespeare when they could barely read. it's all just chunks of dialogue and there's zero emotion, zero passion, zero nuance. he says everything in the same flat way. he is a fucking disaster of an actor. so many moments that were meant to be serious and you have to laugh because he's so fucking diabolical. that first blowjob scene between them where harry says "i don't know what's happening" just fucking hilarious. i cannot believe it's possible to say those words in a supposed passionate tense sexy encounter where we're meant to feel propelled into their chemistry and he's sounding like a child called up in class to explain quadratic equations. every romantic scene in this movie is a disaster when you can see his face and hear his voice. everything becomes hilarious. that other scene of him being drunk and yelling. it's all so fucking goofy. "don't. please". how did anyone on set just let these things keep happening?

HARRY IS A TERRIBLE KISSER. we've seen him giving three major kisses so far in public or onscreen and they're all fucking terrible. the first kiss he gives here is that weird face devouring one. it's like he thinks trying to demonstrate huge passion will create sexual chemistry and a beautiful onscreen relationship. instead he's like some alien character trying to deskin other living beings. and that would've been a way more interesting movie. the first sex scene in bed and he does his face devouring thing. he doesn't let kisses build up, he doesn't let this seem shy or timid or awkward, he doesn't know how to engage and respond and flow with the other person which we saw too with emrata, it's just full on face devouring and this rapid passionate stuff that doesn't feel like it goes with the vibes of the characters or scene. the kisses are always about him and him acting like he's trying to win some type of contest. the other person barely exists to him. it's another moment where you either cringe or laugh.

i also get why all the reviewers critiqued his queerbaiting in general in this and how it perhaps explains why he's incapable of showing any undercurrent or complexity or turmoil or second layer to his character in any of this. there's absolutely no credibility to the idea he relates to this character or to any part of this storyline. he really doesn't even pretend to struggle in this movie. you never feel any sort of complexity or yearning or undercurrent. this man just walked into the scenes every day and sat there and got paid and went home. the fact he thought and was told by so many people he could become a famous actor is symptomatic of how nothing fucking matters anymore in society. your connections and industry swagger is all that people need.

anyway, it's not a good movie. don't know why anyone even took part in it outside of the value they knew it had in queerbaiting harry's fans. i also get why none of his fans even obsesses or talks about it to this day the way people did with great movies like call me by your name or other queer tv shows. there's nothing about this movie that any normal person would ever rewatch again or feel interested or in love with these relationships or characters.

[0xo]

that post about trying to break cycles by being nothing like ur abuser but actually failing to grow better behaviors... (tw lots of talk of suicide and death, mentions of abuse)

really hitting hard rn considering the death of my uncle who hated his (admittedly terrible) father but ended up perpetuating the same exact bullshit onto his wife and kids. and then died bc he couldn't face that fact. like when faced w divorce and the idea of losing his control over his family he... fucked off and died. (still don't have details on how, unsure if it was on purpose but. signs point to...) [AND PREFACING WITH: i do NOT think all people who die by suicide are cowardly or bad people or anything like that. i am talking about a very specific and complicated situation in my own family. please do not interpret this as me saying that all people who die by suicide were bad people/dodging responsibility/could've "worked harder to improve their situation." i know deeply that that is NOT the case, i have been personally impacted by suicide in other ways. i am just discussing one person and the circumstances around his death.]

and of course im sad, we were close once, he is family. ofc im sad he felt dying was better than trying to sort out his life or trying to be a good coparent. but the way he treated his (very sweet, very patient) wife was deeply unacceptable to me. he isolated her, and didn't properly care for his high-support needs autistic kids, and pinned it all on her. he was terrible to my mother and forced all my grandma's end of life care on my mother. he hurt us a lot with his behavior.

and like. i don't think he necessarily deserved to die bc of it, right? he had his own issues, he cut himself off too and refused help from everyone, these problems run in the family and he knew that and still wouldn't accept help. and you can't MAKE anyone accept help. but i can't help but think that if he'd, maybe, been open to the people who loved him, he could've... restructured. he was so smart, so clever, so creative! he could've done anything he wanted to, he was so good at anything he tried.

and yet. in trying to avoid being like his father. he ended up doing all the same things. and i think that was too much for him to handle. and i hate that, i hate that so much.

he leaves behind two brilliant, brilliant children - they're SO CLEVER. but he couldn't accept their support needs and didn't treat them well. they don't even know he's dead yet, i don't think. but they love him, and he saw them as manipulative and trying to intentionally ruin his life. they're small children. they haven't even developed the capability to manipulate yet, they just want some chocolate milk, right? and yet he compared those kids to his father.

it just hurts. this wasn't necessary. my poor fucking mum is now an orphan with two dead siblings. how is she meant to deal with all this? how is she supposed to reconcile the grief of his needless death with the absolutely shit way he treated her and their mother?

luckily we love his widow very much and we will make sure she and the kids are okay. but i truly don't understand anything. it just sucks balls to watch someone ruin their own life and leave a giant fucked up mess behind. and then everyone's saying sorry and apologizing for my loss, like i didn't lose him years ago, like we were still close, like i'm not angry with the way he treated the people around him. we grew up like siblings. but that connection was basically severed when he started acting like a jackass. i don't know how to respond to people trying to comfort me. they all assume i'm really really sad, and i am, but i'm also pissed off, and i don't think anyone knows what to do with that.

because you're not supposed to be pissed at someone for dying, especially if it's probably suicide, you're meant to be tragically sad. you're not supposed to say they were wrong, you're supposed to apologize for being wrong and not seeing the signs earlier, you're supposed to be sorry. and you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, even if they were fucking complicated, you're meant to shove all those negative emotions aside to grieve the good of them.

and i do grieve the good of him! i grieve the family member he could've been if he had actually broken cycles! but i'm fucking angry. you don't get to treat everyone around you like shit and then kill yourself to get out of being remembered as an asshole. it doesn't work like that. you're still an asshole, now you're just dead and can't take responsibility for fucking up people's lives. i'm sorry he felt that was the best way out. AND good god, he was a grown man with every opportunity to improve himself. and he chose to stagnate and be fucking mean. dying in a shit way doesn't erase that.

and like, listen, i understand that people are complicated. i don't think everyone who dies by suicide is an asshole. MOST people who do were genuinely failed by the people and systems around them, they weren't bad people, they were in bad situations. they didn't have help or a way out. it's not inherently selfish or evil, it's fucking devastatingly sad.

and mental illness is complicated and hard. like. hm. i don't think it's his fault he was fucked up, it runs heavy in our family, he was traumatized too. but. he talked so much about growing past that and then just... didn't. he had support, he had a good therapist, he talked the talk. and didn't walk the walk AT ALL. he treated people like dirt. and i understand that certain illness our family is prone to, they make it extremely hard to get or accept help, okay? i get that. i really do. but you can't just fall back on mental illness and trauma as an excuse for financially/emotionally abusing your wife and neglecting-to-the-point-of-abusing your children. it wasn't okay when his dad did it and it's not okay that he did it. and what makes it worse is that he was so aware of how fucked up his childhood made him, and self-aware enough to superficially recognize his own faults, but not enough to change how he interacted with people. why must these cycles continue! why!

i'm so angry and so sad. i don't even know my cousins well because he was so ashamed of how poorly he treated them that he cut us off from them. he hated my mum and so held me at arm's length to avoid interacting with her in any capacity. they're sweet kids...

anyways. sorry. im just so so so so so so so so so tired of death in my family and abuse cycles. im so tired in general and these giant unnameable unfathomable emotions don't help. i feel like the suicide element makes it even harder to talk about, because i sound like an absolute cunt for saying any of this to people who don't know the situation. nothing about it is simple. nothing about it is easy. i don't know what to do anymore at all tbh!!!!!!

[giggly-squiggily]

came in second place at the board game but my dad came in last so that's a win in my book hehe

ANYWAY. eizen x jikka. hear me out.

they both join the asaemon at a rather young age and they leave one hell of an impression on each other. eizen for one is so cool, he's got an eyepatch for christ's sake, jikka is immediately enamored. and jikka is so amazing too, he's so quick, eizen could never be this quick, his mind is absolutely blown.

and as they get older, there's more impressions of each other, impressions that are correct right away and impressions that get proven wrong down the road. eizen seems dense at first, but jikka soon realizes that he's not too dumb to notice the small details, he's just smart enough to not blurt them out immediately. jikka seems like he has his head up in the clouds all the time, but eizen has to admit to himself that jikka sees so much more than eizen ever could (pun intended). but jikka is so pretty and eizen is so beautiful, that they notice right away and that much remains true.

and the impressions just keep piling up because they watch each other so much and they catch each other staring and jikka loves how eizen blushes when he does and eizen loves how jikka stutters when he calls him out on it and before they know it they're behind the shrine and kissing like there's no tomorrow, because well maybe there won't be, you never know.

but jikka knows that this is right. eizen is jkka's first kiss that makes him feel anything other than mild intrigue, jikka is eizen's first everything and it's a good feeling to be one to give him all of these new impressions because eizen should learn to live a little, he really should. and with jikka he comes alive, or at least that's the impression jikka gets because suddenly eizen is laughing and smiling and it's the greatest thing in the world and jikka loves the glances they throw each other because they make him feel like he's special, like what they have is special.

turns out it's not. or not anymore. now there's something else that's more important, more special. this thing had been going on for nearly twelve years and of course jikka always knew that it'd never be more than a secret but he would've hoped to be dropped for something actually important. not for duty. not for that self-righteous construct of honor and status that eizen has made up in his thick head that makes him act like he's got the biggest fucking stick up his- eizen doesn't let him finish that insult, but jikka does get to tell him that no one cares as much about eizen as eizen does and that might have just been the absolute worst thing to say. doesn't matter though. not like he could apologize if eizen doesn't talk to him anymore. (he shouldn't apologize, he should take it back altogether. it was a lie. jikka does. jikka cares, more than anyone in the world.)

eizen doesn't let him take it back and jikka stops trying after a while. he finds new people, beautiful people, but none of them are as beautiful as eizen and none of them ever will be. not the stoic women that fall for the same sweet talk eizen fell for and not the thick men that don't catch onto his seduction until it's too late in the same way eizen never caught on. it's just not the same. not even with the woman he's supposed to marry, with her beautiful red hair. jikka likes the red hair of the woman whose name he doesn't know.

does it even matter? there's no space in his head for such trivial information. he fought gods, he traveled to the edge of the world, he lost the only people he could've ever called family and he didn't even mourn them, there's just no goddamn space. (he tried to mourn them, he really did, but he couldn't do it. eizen would be so disappointed.)

he also really tries not to think about eizen because if he does he also thinks about how eizen's last words to him were "until then" and if jikka had known that until then would be until never he would've... done something. grabbed eizen and kissed him in front of the goddamn shogun and everyone who was watching. yelled at him to stay. yelled at him to not be such an idiot. yelled at him that he loved him. said goodbye. done literally anything but smile his stupid fake smile and say "save travels", because that's a stupid thing to say to someone who's going to sell to the edge of the world and that stupid fake smile is worthless to someone who's seen the real smile. eizen always said jikka was much prettier when he wasn't trying to look like someone else.

but he's smiling that fake smile while standing next to the woman he'll marry, the woman he's marrying right now, because he wishes he was someone else. a different jikka who would've gone with eizen right away, who would've managed to convince eizen that his precious rules were stupid and his beloved duty was hollow and that they could've been free if they had just let themselves be. but he's not that different jikka. he's the jikka who let eizen leave like a bloody idiot and now he's standing next to a woman he doesn't want to know and recites a vow he wrote while thinking about someone else. someone who should be by his side but isn't. someone he would have followed anywhere, had he just been given a chance.

(that got so long i'm so sorry, if this doesn't convince you i literally don't know what will because i just poured my SOUL into this)

Is it bad my first thought upon reading that ship pair was “Oh that’s hot” 🤣🤣🤣💀 But no seriously- I ADORE???

No cause seriously I love love LOVE the impressions of one another and how the relationship started out so wonderful- and then the angst- Rey the ANGST you really had to rip my heart out like that the way it just faded off and despite Jikka surrounding himself with beautiful people it will never be Eizen and how he wished he could have done something else in those final words of goodbye and the hair thing THE FUCKING HAIR THING ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT- AHH! Oh my god this was deliciously angsty and beautiful and perfect and my freaking HEART AHHH!! REY!

This was delicious and beautiful and perfect and both broke my heart and sold me on this ship I love it GAH! Thank you for sharing!

[gnsaein]

[ origins / profile / plots / muse ]

🤸 —— ! happy opening day everyone, i'm so excited to be here. i'm sol (they/xe) and this is my manic pixie failgirl moon saein --- ran from the bad clutches of his family six years ago, only to end up in the arguably worse clutches of a nefarious circus troupe ( as one does ) , then finally came limping back to gaenari a week ago.

leave a like if you'd like me to reach out for plots! alternatively, we can just start a thread and see where chemistry takes us.

THEN:

moon saein, born in 1999, single child of moon seonhee and moon bomin. they're descended from one of the first families to build houses in gaenari, so they go a long ways back if anyone else is old blood !

his father's a big stickler for tradition and legacy. rumor has it that his marriage to seonhee was arranged and bomin, who was feral for a successor to carry on his torch, saw her as nothing more than a way to extend his bloodline. i'm taking inspiration from carrie for his childhood, so if you know the vibes...then u know.

formerly a chronic runaway. his parents were already disappointed that he turned out to be incompetent when it came to the construction family legacy, but the runaway antics were when they really gave up on him.

it was a typical cry for attention. they could've gotten angry, they could've punished him, he would've taken anything if it meant that, idk, they actually gave a shit about him? but it was like he was invisible if he wasn't serving them a purpose.

would run away intermittently between 13-17yrs old, culminating to 6 years ago when he finally, properly ran --- a very abrupt and fevered decision, and the first time that he actually gets out of gaenari. he ends up in daehan, where he spends a year just surviving. if anyone has a muse who was also on a bender in daehan around 5-6 years ago, hmu, they could've gotten fucked up and self destructive together : )

after daehan, he ended up joining a circus, for a lack of a better word. it was a traveling troupe of performers and they performed on makeshift stages in glitzy masks, and at that point it was the most magical thing saein had ever seen in his little sheltered life.

saein meets his mentor eunha there and she helps him become one of their most reliable performers --- showy, impressive acrobatics leaping through the air, twisting up hanging silk ribbons. to the audience, it's all shows and gimmicks, but eunha insists that there's something more at the heart of their shows. that there's magic. saein, prone to fantasy and romance, completely buys it.

the catch: there's a test that all performers go through before they're considered a permanent part of the troupe. eunha says that if he does, the magic will be pleased with him too. and saein would do just about anything to make somebody proud; he agrees without a second thought.

the test involved him helping out with a vanishing act. you can read more about it in his background, but basically it ended with him falling into a small, dark, locked box for over 12 hours, screaming for help and terrified that no one would remember to come looking for him.

when the test "ends" and he's "rescued," he can't talk or sleep properly for a full week. eunha wants him to try again. she says she knows he can do it, he just needs to be stronger.

saein can't deal with the pressure of disappointing her 🤘 he sneaks out a few nights later, quiet and inevitable, and runs right back home.

NOW:

his parents aren't happy he's back, borderline pissed about it. they tell him to find his own place to stay. he's therefore now eun street's latest resident at apt. #403 (and looking for a roommate!)

a receptionist at the gym. he plans to befriend security to let him stay a little longer after hours, bc the acrobatics were actually therapeutic and he needs someplace to keep practicing.

i'm thinking it has only been a week or so since he came back? he's been quiet.

in general, he's quieter than before. still animated if you get him going, but he's jumpy and prone to spacing out these days. to anyone who knew him before, it's a notable difference from the bright eyed, bushy tailed kid he used to be.

he came back bc he convinced himself that there was something calling him back to gaenari. is it magic here too? is it some cosmic entity that lives inside of the mountain and wants him carnally? or was he just so terrified of disappointing eunha that he had to make up a fantasy excuse to leave them too? who knows! 🔮

when he's not working, he's wandering around claiming to be listening to the ghosts of the mines or laying out somewhere on a field, head full of tumbleweeds.

PLOTS:

here are his established plots!

people who knew him before. his parents tried really hard to downplay his existence when they couldn't control him but that probably came off as them trying to sweep the ""bad seeds"" under the rug.

people who didn't know him before. he's marveling at all of the little ways town has changed and the new faces around.

people he met while he was in daehan 5-6 yrs ago. this could have been anywhere from a quick meeting to a months long spiral into codependency (jk! unless)

it would take more plotting, but i'd also love a connection with someone who knew of/once watched/was also part of the troupe that he was in? maybe someone else he helped out of that circus and brought back to gaenari or someone who followed him here?

ever since his “test” he’s been terrified of sleeping in locked rooms, and just small, closed spaces in general. maybe someone runs into him freaking out while they’re someplace confined and has to be like Hey .. Calm down?…

he likes to ride the bus/trains out to daehan sometimes just to feel like he's going somewhere. give me someone who's on those late night rides too, who maybe also knows a thing about the dark.

any old friends he left behind; except for the muse involved in his one established plot, he didn't tell anyone he was leaving

for anyone looking to stay a little later at the gym too, they'll start to constantly find him there, so he could sneak them in absolutely with no questions asked.

any fellow people out there with family issues lol. they can commiserate and give each other advice that they can't follow for themselves.

healthy coping mechanisms, unhealthy coping mechanisms. i-don't-know-you-but-you've-got-the-same-fucked-up-look-in-your-eye isms. we-just-need-to-take-our-minds-off-the-grisly-act-of-surviving isms. i-will-not-ask-where-you-came-from-and-neither-should-you isms [hozier outro plays us out]

i'm very sorry that this is so long. if you got here, ily, let's write together 🙏.

[swordsovereign]

[ META ] + what being the leader of the eternals mean to him

oh ok ok here we go

so the eternals are literally just a HUGE FOUND FAMILY and they are sorta dysfunctional at times (often) but somehow they still come together when the world needs them the most, which is fantastic.

seofon created the eternals at first because he was like "damn wouldn't it be cool if i just had a team of badasses" and thats literally like canon dialogue he says to anre, and it's like ... ok seofon, sure, but it's actually more than that

i should make note here that as a person, seofon is incredibly lonely and very traumatized. he's isolated from others not only because he acts like a haughty jerk at times (and then gets teased by literally everyone around him), but because he is in fact the strongest of the eternals, and the eternals are the strongest in their weapon category- and if you factor in versus rising, belial backs out of a fight with anre (with the one rift spear) because basically anre was battling belial to a draw, and not that anre isn't strong, but seofon is the strongest of the eternals and that basically means in general each eternal can stand on par with high up astrals like belial or beelzebub and possibly lucilius,

by the mobile game, seofon's power startled lu woh, who is the wedge of light, a KEY FOUNDATION to reality, and seofon just had to point a sword at lu woh and say "stop trashing danchou" and lu woh fucking stopped. for reference, lu woh also admits that the six dragons can't tell an island from a grain of sand, and when you do any event or interaction with wilnas, he says that he KNOWS his experiences as basically a foundational god of reality are NOT shared by basically anyone so he wants to learn what it's like to be mortal,

yeah seofon's power is actually jarring to the six dragons, that says a lot.

now, imagine that you're a normal person and you learn about a dude who has all that and OH by the way, he can make swords from nothingness and also the boundary is not just a place he draws power from, but he "sees the sea of stars" according to lu woh which sorta points to him being more like logia (an axis) rather than just an overpowered mortal (there's a lot to unpack about seofon) and the only reason he's not an axis is because logia notes that there are other versions of seofon, but in every reality its the same logia (just a different appearance, they can do that) -

anyway, yeah seofon's power alone scares people off, and it's also said that the eternals are both renowned and feared for their powers, and basically seofon said "im tired of being alone, i want people who understand what i'm dealing with and i want them to not feel isolated" so he formed the eternals

he's team dad, he's been shown as team dad across events, and really the eternals mean everything to him. he might not always make the best choices (see: seeds of redemption) but what he does is always with the best interest of both the skydoms and his team at heart. because he doesn't want them to get hurt more than they've already been hurt, heck, feower and tien are literally his adopted siblings (he just said "ok these are mine now" and no one could stop him)

basically being leader of the eternals means being part of a family and that's something he needs, and whether or not the other eternals show up when he calls for them, he is just glad to know they're in his life at all, because honestly he is the "to be loved is to be changed" meme in human form ... he could've been awful if he'd been left alone without bonds to ground him to his humanity....

[bruhstation]

Hi i love your casa tidmouth!!! I saw the ask about james pairing and wondered if there any pairing for diesel, oliver or lady? Also happy holidays!!!

thank you very much!!! ALSO HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR AHHHHHH I'M SO SO SORRY FOR ANSWERING THIS LATE.... I WANTED TO ANSWER THIS ASK AS DETAILED AS POSSIBLE SO 🙏🙏🙏

I also apologize if some parts don't really sound very shippy because I thought it'd be a good chance to showcase some bits of lore character relationships in general... ANYWAYS!!!! HAVE FUN READING

diesel:

you could say that diesel's currently not interested in anyone, at least in a romantic sense. diesel used to have a small crush on mavis but no longer did after she told him she's a lesbian. now they're just... besties? frenemies? diesel and mavis gets into trouble together, except diesel's the one who incites it (arry and bert just follows) and mavis just happens to be there. diesel gets himself into trouble because of his schemes while mavis (begrudgingly) gets him out of it, though she usually also gets the short end of the stick alongside diesel. mavis also thought that diesel is constantly up to no good, though this is mostly because mavis just wants to live a simple life with as little problems as possible (literally impossible because she lives in so-freaking-dor)

however in act 2, mavis started to feel suspicious about diesel with how he always disappears somewhere at nights. even though they're both affiliated with the dieselworks (since they both drive diesel engines), she suspected that diesel might've been getting himself involved with d10 lately and is now genuinely siding with someone threatening instead of just being mildly inconveniencing. she's now conflicted between wanting to confront diesel in order to protect the person she cares about, or avert her eyes and live in blissful ignorance.

not shippy, but worth mentioning: diesel and duck started off as great enemies at the start of the story. before the events of casa tidmouth, after thinking duck wanted to leave him for dead (he was still new to sodor and has no idea people rarely die in sodor's railways), diesel spread horrific rumours about duck's family, which triggered the start of his axe-crazy tendencies (he's incredibly desperate to make his family proud. you know the drill). neither of them expressed guilt -- they do feel it -- for their actions towards one another because of how stubborn they are. they also have really different worldviews; diesel wanted progress, while duck wanted to stick with the old ways.

their backgrounds were really similar, too. both of their families were incredibly traditional, but while duck followed them like a dog, diesel rejected them. they could've respected each other or even become friends, if only their stubborness didn't blind them. perhaps things could change in act 2...?

speaking of act 2, diesel teamed up with d10 and got pretty close to him, partly because he realized d10's power is now heavily relying on the competence of his minions (and they're really not) and partly because they both share the same worldviews about progress. he's basically his right hand man, doing all the convincing and talking while d10 is having this big internal crisis going on. you could say it's also his curiosity taking place, since he wonders what the "most menacing man in all of sodor" will do once he hits rock bottom. diesel also convinced percy to join the workers of dieselworks when he was at his lowest, saying "I know a man who would respect your ambitions."

in addition, diesel is still coming into terms with his identity because of his huge catholic guilt. this fucking guy

‎

oliver:

even though he's usually no-nonsense and avoids conflict and island mysteries at any cost, oliver has a huge soft spot for douglas. they first met around 5 years ago when oliver was lost in a forest in bumfuck nowhere, being the victim of time and space displacement alongside a young man called toad -- who barely said a word -- and having lost a lot of his memories. he lived inside his rusty engine with toad for years in solitude. after a few years had passed, he met douglas, who ended up there as well (he assumed that he's the same as him) and bonded with him over the days he was stuck there.

with douglas' presence, oliver felt much less alone. and vice versa. toad also got along with douglas, which made oliver felt relieved. oliver initially didn't have much motivation to get himself out of the situation (toad didn't express much either and only wanted to stick with oliver) and nearly gave up, but after meeting douglas and listening to his stories about missing his brother and wanting to go back home, oliver regained his motivation to keep on trying. he also set his thoughts of finding whoever's responsible aside for the sake of douglas and toad.

after the three of them were rescued by duck and donald and nursed back to health, oliver intended to take his leave, still a bit bent on finding whoever's responsible for his lost memories and broken engine. but then sir topham hatt suggested that he could work for the northwestern railways ("who knows? it could help you find what you're looking for, mr. swindon.")

the next day, douglas expressed gratitude to oliver for saving his life and accompanying him throughout the days he was lost in a forest. oliver instead shot back with a smile, "actually, douglas, you're the one who saved me. even though I still remember nothing about my past, I now remember what I was fighting for. myself, and my engine."

fun fact: you know oliver jr., oliver's tamagotchi? douglas was the one who gifted it to him. since the first generation of tamagotchis die easily if not given care 24/7, douglas went all the way to the steamworks and convinced victor (doctor, engineer, guy with at least 3 phds) to modify it and make it practically immortal. oliver received this gift extremely happily, though he sometimes wonders if something is different with his tamagotchi (douglas just said that he probably got the most special ultra rare yadda yadda version).

oliver and douglas are also one of the more "normal" pair in all of casa tidmouth (2x3x4 have communication issues thus can only pine over each other, 8x9 are... uh... murderhusbands, mavis is oblivious to lady's true identity, lady and d10 have similar twisted views on humanity, etc).

‎

lady:

even though nobody (aside from thomas and percy) knows about lady being the island's goddess, almost every single woman in casa tidmouth likes her. mavis, emily, rosie, belle, daisy, etc... they all collectively thought "haha wow weird silly woman is pretty". she's way too oblivious and thought that it's just some quirk humans have, though. HOWEVER, she's really close with mavis, who showed lady around the quarry when she first arrived in sodor. mavis also wanted to "shield" lady from all the general weirdness around sodor, assuming that she's originally from outside the island. on the other hand, lady's optimism started to make mavis relax more from her coworker diesel's antics. also mavis thinks she's kinda hahah hey girl

in act 2, after news of missing railway workers came out, mavis tried to convince lady to leave the island. she felt like lady knows a lot more than she looks, but she's not taking any risks to have the person she holds dear get involved. lady just felt really guilty, but (after going through character progression and developing more "human" emotions like happiness, guilt, melancholy, "selfish" motivations, yadda yadda) she has a feeling that if she revealed her true identity, it's not going to end smoothly.

I've also mentioned something about lady and d10 being really close in a qpp type of way had their circumstances been different. they're both people who find it really hard to connect to others; the former being a goddess with different perceptions on morality and the latter being a guy who has low empathy and a whole lot of personality disorders. here's the post explaining their relationship

[xoteajays]

I know that I never hit you hard enough for you to forget how to count now.. I know that for a fact. So you can't actually blame that on me.

So how is the show? What do you think of the show now? Tell me! I'm wanting to know. I have questions. So tell me what you think about it.

~

Exactly! That seemed out of character for the Mighty Warriors. And.. I know. That could've just been aesthetic for the music video. But if it's supposed to be an epilogue where Warriors do become Kuryu, then it confuses me that you would give them any weapons though. Like the old Kuryu, like Ryu, uses weapons. But none of the Warriors ever did.

And don't get me wrong. An attractive man in a suit is attractive... But they've never worn suits before with the exception of Ryu. Ryu's style was always more 'professional' compared to the style any Warriors do wear, and he always only ever wore black clothes. Nothing that was in a flashy vibrant style like everyone else in Warriors, mainly streetwear clothes rather than suits. With colors. The complete opposite to Ryu.

If Ryu's the new leader of Kuryu, I don't see him backing down from a fight with anyone.. Especially not from any 'street trash' like the Rude Boys. He'd rather die than not kill them if given the chance to. And so many characters like Nikaido are completely bitches who can't fight.

~

Strawberry Girls are stupid! If the girls do not know basic information about men, their personalities, their styles, or anything. Then this just so happens to be why they're single. Because they're so stupid to me.

The only way that Rocky could prevent Kizzy from cutting off his limb would be because women wouldn't want to be around a man, without his limbs. That's the only reason why they never cut off his hands too.

And they make sure there is always duplicate keys around just in case the situation calls for it. Because that would be bad if you lost the key at all. So the senior Rascals always have a key for this whole situation.

I don't know how insane Kato might be. And we know that Sakyo and Ukyo might be insane in a violent way, to some extent, but never on a same level as Hyuga is. And if they know how insane Hyuga is.. Now I am actually imagining how the Daruma newbies find out that Hyuga's family was one of the original families in Kuryu. How'd they act then.

~

So I might've figured out the fucking recipes for the cocktails that are in Club Heaven! And we were both right too.. Seriously. That's not any joke either. The menu I sent you from the High&Low festivals, back in the time when people celebrated the franchise for coming out then.

It lists the flavor for the White Rascals as a calpico. So I've researched calpico... A milky type of drink that comes in five flavors - the original, lychee, white peach, strawberry and mango flavors. And even certain flavors like original, lychee and peach are white colored. Strawberry is pink colored. And mango is orange colored. So now, I'm imaging their signature drink would be with the calpico as the very main ingredient.

They would use every flavor. But original, lychee and white peach end up being the main flavors.. Because white colors for White Rascals.

And! Despite calpico not being an alcoholic drink, that is frequently in alcoholic drinks in Asian (especially Japan). But, of course, one of the liqueurs that mix it with is vodka. And if you do look up some of those drinks.. Those drinks look like the Rascals drinks in different glasses.

~

So apparently some of my bands updated their appearances for their new albums. Apparently I can't look at pretty Asian men respectfully... My staring is somewhere in between respectfully and disrespectfully.

~

You said fifth time? Definitely more than five characters for me.

The only exception to a mafioso who wasn't abused might have really been Vincenzo. Like.. I'm not saying his past wasn't said. But he never was abused by his father. That's all I will say about his character.

Like the Shelby family (from Peaky Blinders) came from very abusive families. Rocky counts.. If though Rocky isn't technically a mafioso in the traditional sense. He's a gang leader who had an abusive father so that led to his mother and sister committing suicide. And others too.

Obviously. I know. Criminals become criminals because of the past in their lives.. But still though. Have criminals come from normal pasts - in the same way criminals also come from abusive pasts too. Do both equally. Because having an unsuspecting antagonist is so interesting. But, then again, you just might not emphasize with any of them then.

it’s so long! it’s like watching a movie every episode. i’m still neither here or there on it, but i do like vincenzo himself as a character. also i thought the flick scene was cute, stealing that idea for my daydreaming.

~

it kinda sucks to slip the warriors into kuryu aesthetics because it was interesting to have ryu among the warriors because he was so un-warrior-ish. he’s like, a rich kid! he wears fancy clothes! ans uses weapons! he’s the literal black sheep in the warriors. so he stands out when with the warriors. but then they crammed the warriors all into the kuryu fashion and it’s. wrong.

put the warriors back in their colours! and their cool streetwear! ryu can be the one in his fancy high fashion clothes. it’s about the duality!

i think it’d embarrass ryu to be beaten by the rude boys. so it should absolutely happen. one of the rude boys deserves to knock him on his ass.

~

i’m imagining rocky just trying to convince one of the golden bomber/smg guys to give him the spare key and kizzy being there like ‘don’t you dare give him the key’ because she’s trying to get something from him while he’s trapped. on one hand, rocky’s his boss. on the other, kizzy will make his life hell for defying her. lose lose situation.

~

oh! calpico! i’ve had calpico before. i could see that being made into an alcoholic drink. looks there are a lot of ones online, ones with like gin, vodka or sake. idk what alcohols are popular in japan.

i think i’d prefer the strawberry flavour tbh, even tho it’s not white. i’m not a big fan of lychee, i don’t mind peach tho.

~

it’s definitely a favourite backstory for writing characters you need to feel some kind of empathy for. like time to make you feel bad for this character! flip a coin, is it going to be abuse or dead family?

gotta find some new material for sad backstories.