#with the way his family is it really could've been anyone they're all saying fucked up shit all the time

[literallyjusttoa]

Found an old sketch of Apollo that I think was supposed to be part of a comic? but i don't remember what the rest of it was supposed to be. Anyways I repurposed it and added in my lil headcanon that Apollo's scars from his time as Lester show up on his godly form whenever he loses control of himself post-ToA. Cuz that's fun.

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[r3ynah]

THE FAMILY OF BEAUTIES

The girls the boys they all like Carmen.

(In this scenario Carmen is the fentons).

I just want to headcanon, that the Fenton's have a ethereal type of beauty, not sexy or hot. Ethereal, like if you didn't know that they're a family of Mad scientist, a obsessive therapist and a dead boy. they could've passed as deity's.

And the amity park's citizens can and will totally agree, they might've disagree and fight for a lot of things but the only thing they can agree on was the Fenton's was down to earth beautiful.

Like Jack Fenton for example, He has built that can seemingly bench you without any hesitation, but a himbo at heart, the greys of his hair compliments way it mixes with the black hair of his, if Jack isn't in his ghost hunting suit, he is pretty decent when it comes to his fashion sense, When Jazz first brought along her friends, the first thing they asked was if Jack was single, which caused Jazz to smack their heads individually with a newspaper.

And don't get me started with Madeline Fenton, because I cannot stop when it comes to her, My girl with her short straight Reddish-brown hair, looks like a masculine but also feminine beauty, Can and will bench you, if you have any ill intent towards her family, she came from a long line of riches if I say so myself. Tall as fuck, about 6'7 while Jack is 7'0. very elegant when it comes to fighting, that it looks like she's just dancing, Was titled as a Milf by Danny's classmate which made the boy groan in annoyance, Sam and Tucker calls out to Maddie and says "Mother is Mothering", just to get something out of Danny who looks at them with disgust knowing full well what they were trying to do. While Maddie is just happy for the kids to see her as a mother figure.

Now Jazz, My love, my girl. Her long Red hair that came down to her hips, and her blue eyes, made all the girls and boys in her college swoon, with her 6'4 figure she strutted down the halls with confidence, beauty and brains everyone would oh so called it, and her knowledge in martial arts didn't lessen her attractiveness, The humans and ghosts can agree with that delightfully.

And now her dearest sibling Danny, Danny is a nonbinary fuck that can gender envy anyone he meets, that's why he got bullied in the first place, he was too fucking beautiful and handsome at the same time, all the boys and girls of his school have atleast had a crush on him, He was the only cute boy there, what could they do? He stared at them with his icey colored eyes that made their legs tremble from the pressure, and that black hair that always seemed messy but in a good way. It didn't help when he got that lichtenberg scar, that ran up his neck and the side of his face. you should've seen him in P.E cause my guy got everyone staring at him.

And the Fenton family has fashion sense, if they really put their mind and soul into it, everytime they dressed up for a family reunion or just an outing it was a very sweet treat for everyone's eyes. like how it is right now.

The Amity parkers waved goodbye at the Fenton's as they went on and attended a gala they were invited to, it was supposedly because of the sudden rise and popularity of their works and how's it been helping the environment.

One citizen sighed as he looked at the car that family was driving as it slowly became smaller and smaller.

"You think they can handle Gotham, heard nasty thing bout that place." She questioned

"Girl, Gotham should be the one readying to handle them, that family may be beautiful, but their crazy." Her friend's answered

"well that does give them a more attractive look isn't it?"

"I hate how you're right."

__

The Gala the Fenton's went to certainly had an awkward atmosphere when they went inside, all the guest kept staring at them that it was starting to get creepy, did they overdress or underdressed, come on just walk towards start to talk or criticize them, because it's starting to get embarrassing for the family.

Gotham wasn't fucking prepared to meet the Fentons like as in, They had been awestrucked when the family walked in. A very tall man seemingly in his 40's with his hair gelled back, and a suit that fitted him too perfectly, gosh dang, even the homophobic guests couldn't help but stare, And then there was his Wife her straight her was curled and brushed out leaving a wavy effect that compliments her face shape, and that dress she was wearing was utterly gorgeous, fancy but also simple and mature, the heels certainly helped her height more and made her look more intimidating, The ladies blushed when she looks at them and smiles.

And don't get them started with the couples children, who looked adorable and elegant at the same time, The older sister had a aura that says: 'Im in your presence bow down' (And they would've if it was in a more private area due to the paparazzi's out the window). She wore a spaghetti strapped dress that had a slit on either side and was , making it more comfortable to move in for the girl, partnered by a white shawl made of silk, she had heels that also complimented he already tall stature, her hair was tied in a neat bun, with a few strands free to not make her face feel bare. And lastly the youngest everyone assumed, wearing a suit, double-breasted suit that was elegant and sophisticated it matched the way his hair is messed up for him to still look young, he was also wearing a black shawl that had specks of white making it look like stars. The family had a colour scheme of green, that made all gothamites present swoon, Including a certain family of bats.

(I might make a fanart of this later.)

[weirdwildwonderland]

How TUA should've ended

Lila and Five relationship-Lila and Five don't spend 7 years in the subway. They do get lost, but it's more like two years this time (whoever thought of 7 years was crazy). Two years is enough for Five and Lila to almost kill each other many times, enough for them to cry to each other one night and swear to never talk about it again. Enough for many bouts of food poisoning and starvation and cold nights when the train didn't show up. Enough for Lila to keep waking up with a sick feeling in her stomach because she keeps having dreams where she wakes up in her house, with Grace and the twins and Diego just downstairs. Enough for Five to stay awake as he wipes silent tears away because he's thinking of his siblings. The only ones who have been there for him. They find the strawberry timeline near the end of the two years, and it only makes them miss everyone more. There's a lump in Five's throat as he mutters something about how "wish we could've taken the idiots here" and Lila starts to cry, because something about this timeline is so warm and safe, because she would give ANYTHING to have a Saturday morning with her family again, Diego making her coffee, waking up the twins, reading to Grace. She finds a delicate silver bracelet on the floor of the greenhouse, and remembers how her father gave Grace a bracelet just like this when she was born, and that's when she breaks, and Five begrudgingly helps her off of the floor and pats her on the back. They find the notebook a few days later, and both of them well up as they ride the subway back. It's only been a few hours for the rest of them, and as Diego hugs Lila again, this guilty feeling wells up in her chest, because she remembers how they were before, how distant they had become. But he's still here, somehow. So they go inside and she starts crying when she sees everyone. Diego asks about the bracelet and Lila and Five exchange a look. You tell him. No, you. Diego asks if something has been going on, and it all comes out. Lila crumbles even more. Isolation does funny things to the emotions.

They all finish watching the dance of the sugar plum fairy before the news about Ben flashes onto the screen. It's the most peaceful hour or so of this whole fucked up week

2. They get swallowed by the cleanse.

3. And then they all wake up in the void. All of them are dazed and drained. The man on the TV is talking about shattered timelines (or something related to the themes of time in the show). God watches on her bicycle as they slowly figure out that they lost their powers again. Diego starts crying because he realizes Ben isn't there and Lila comforts him. Luther looks more worried about Diego than about the fact that they're dead. Allison, Klaus, and Viktor seem glad that their powers are gone. Five just looks happy that they're all still together. Klaus goes up to God.

He says something along the lines of "Hey, I'm happy that I can still come up here and all, but you need to get us back down somehow, because there's no way I'm spending all of eternity with THEM. Plus, I have nieces and a nephew and I hope they're...not up here too."

She says something like "They're not."

He stares at her.

She says "I think you're insufferable. I don't know anyone who comes up here multiple times and then goes back down."

"Look, God, I've had it up to HERE with my life so far, and I can say the same about all of them over there. But I've gone through some things recently, and it made me realize that I would really like to keep living it, if you wouldn't mind. And," he points at everyone "they have their reasons. And they deserve to live the rest of their lives out, too."

She stares at him. "I've had it up to here with you too. You know, I watch you down there, sometimes. I think you're better off there. Not up here, annoying me. Plus," she looks over at everyone else (they're freaking out/arguing etc) "it's too early for all of you to be here."

She picks 8 marigolds from her basket and plucks the heads off. They fall to the ground and new sprouts start coming up from the earth. "Whatever was in you, it's gone now." She looks over at everyone, annoyed. "Oh yeah, I forgot you need help to get back." She rolls her eyes.

"You know, you kind of remind me of my niece." Klaus says

She snaps her fingers

Cut to black again.

Cut to outside Diego and Lila's house. It's hot out, and they all wake up on the asphalt in their winter clothes. Everyone starts complaining about how hot it is. Diego gets up and knocks at the door. No one knows what day it is. For all they know, their kids could be teenagers now, and that scares him.

Someone bumps into Lila on the street, and it's the Handler. Only, she's not. She's just a normal woman talking on her cellphone, and she looks at Lila apologetically before continuing her conversation. A woman looks at Viktor and asks him if he needs help off the ground. It's Grace, and she's walking with a baby stroller. Viktor nudges Diego and they're both speechless.

The door opens, and Lila's mom answers. Lila bursts into tears and hugs her. Grace and Claire come to the door and Grace says something about "you didn't pick me up from camp on time, Mommy! And Coco's been crying for FIFTEEN minutes, that's what Grandma said. I think she misses you. Oh, and Ben (boy twin) broke a bowl, but Grandpa said it's okay" and Claire rolls her eyes and asks what they're all doing dressed in coats and tells them that they're all so weird. Grace turns to Claire and accusingly says "You never told me that grownups cry too." Klaus and Allison both burst into tears too, Luther and Viktor look like they're about to cry, and Five just looks the most relieved he's ever been in his life.

Lila's mom sighs and says "Come in, everyone. I don't want to know what you've gotten yourselves into now, but you look hungry. It's too hot out to cook, so you're eating the leftovers." Diego is still crying, but he starts to laugh. And then Five starts laughing too. And then the rest of them. Lila's mom tells them that they really need to get inside now before someone starts looking at them weird.

Cut to shot of all of them walking into the house, taking off their shoes, flopping onto the couch, hugging their kids, etc. Continue to "I think we're alone now" montage of all the side characters walking on the street living life as normal people.

POGO: On the twelfth hour of the 8th day of August, 2024, nothing out of the ordinary happened. You might say it was just a normal day.

Cut to black

Credits roll

Post credits scene

There's a knock on the door. Ben walks in looking dazed, holding Jennifer's hand. "What's up, assholes? I'm back!" he says, before everyone groans and the screen cuts to black again.

END S4E6

[magicxc]

Frenemies

Pairings: Survey Corps - people they cannot STAND

Word Count: 1076

Warnings: none

A/N: Idk man I love a good tussle jskksks. Like give me two characters who absolutely hate each other! And with AOT I really don't have to look too far, yay. This is basically canon but it's funny to think about so here it is as well. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren  - Jean, Weak People

I think the Jean one gets over exaggerated a little, and for good reason too, cause the girlies be EATING with those tropes. But at the end of the day they have a mutual understanding and are cordial at best. They're mostly cool because they share mutual friends and spaces but it’s no longer beef per se. 

Hear me out, I don't think anyone wiping out 80% of humanity is willing to kick it with people who aint about it. Mans need someone who’s willing to stand on business behind him. Even throughout the show he’s always admitted to not liking people who’s willing to live like “livestock.” So this is not to be confused with physically weak people by the way but psychologically weak people. Essentially Eren has beef if you’re willing to take it lying down. 

Levi - Zeke

Listennnn I LIVE for their fight scenes okay lmao. Like it's almost always on sight for them and their lil jabs at one another? It’s chucklessss for me omg. Lets be clear, their beef is absolutely warranted. It can be safely argued that Levi doesnt really care for most people but Zeke?? Oh baby its all smoke for him. 

Erwin - The Government 

I swear if it wasn't for the literal fate of humanity and his brewing theory Erwin would've just said fuck it cause baybeeee, they wanted that man GONE. They've tried to get him fired, pointed guns in his face, and built a whole ass guillotine to unalive him; in front of the entire town mind you. Maybe that was the custom back then I don't know. I don’t remember Erwin outright saying that he doesn't fuck with the government but fuck it, I’ll say it for him. Cause I'll stand ten toes down behind this one here. 

Connie - Ymir

I promise you I let out a nasty ole chuckle at the thought cause he don't even dislike her fr fr. I think it's a situation similar to Eren and Jean's in the sense that their friends and environment often see them in the same places. Because if we’re being real, not only do they have little in common but they just don't really vibe like that. I think they could've been a little more cordial but Ymir be on her own timing and it's usually at the expense of the squad. Like when she made fun of Connie for suspecting his mother was a titan or when she kidnapped Historia like 3 times and put them all in danger. And I can't even be mad at Connie for being the voice of reason cause him calling her ugly was simply the truth. I, too, reared back when I first saw Ymir's titan form. 

Jean - Eren, Reiner, Annie, Bertholt

The whole Eren thing is basically squashed but it’s worth noting that if he were to see him in public, he’d walk the other way. 

I lowkey had to dig deep for this one cause I genuinely forgot. But even though they’re all kumbaya now, those three bitches literally watched his homie get half his face chewed off by a titan. Jean is absolutely pouring one out for Marco every birthday by the way, but yeahh it’s still fuck them. Like if they were playing uno stacked, he’d save all his draw 4’s and make them draw 16. 

Onyankopon - Yelena

I'm not too sure that Ony dislikes anyone honestly. But I'm going with Yelena here mostly because she’s the reason he found himself in his current predicament. On what was supposed to be a solid plan in motion to save his people quickly turned into Ony modernizing a primitive people, helping build their resources from scratch, having people question his race (and I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar it was mfs that got ignorant), seeming untrustworthy among his peers, almost getting killed, fighting in a war he had nothing to do with, and probably losing his entire family in the rumble. Now, one or two of those things were inevitable, but if you were to view things from Ony’s POV everything went to shit over a bitch with a fatal attraction to a man with daddy issues. 

Reiner - Himself

Lmaooo I LOVE a good Reiner drag. And while this started out as a joke, I'm deadass now. This man stays talking about wanting to end it all but never follows through, smh. With lots of therapy and support, I genuinely think that Reiner would be on the road to recovery and a healthy lifestyle; but there’ll always be that lingering thought on if he’s worth it or not

Honorable mention: Ymir. But solely because she would get in the way of his fantasy life with Historia. 

Armin - Floch? 

This munchkin is damn near Tanjiro levels of sweet cause omg who does he even hate??? He is always looking for the good in people and I'm about to dislocate my shoulder reaching this hard BUT, hear me out - It’s Floch even if he doesn’t outright say it. The same Floch who damaged the flying boat and almost ruined their mission before it even started? The same Floch who fucked it up so bad that Hange had to sacrifice herself which resulted in Armin taking on an even bigger responsibility? The same Floch who got in a lil too close with his bestie Eren? Close enough to be trusted with his future plans? The same Floch who when he lay on that ground bleeding Armin was nowhere in sight? Even at the port where they attacked the Yeagerists and Armin got shot in the face, he pleaded with his old comrades to stand down but Floch is beneath that level of reasoning huh? Whether Armin despises Floch or not it's safe to say if Floch were getting jumped, Armin would definitely sneak in a kick before helping. 

Floch - Erwin

This is literally one of those cases where its like I disagree but I understand lol. That man legit made them do a suicide charge and yeah he lead the charge blah blah blah but I could never be that brave. And so that resentment is understandable but in all fairness it shaped Flochs character for the better to be honest; cause that whole pwussy boi arc was annoying. 

Also adding the main cast of the Scouts lmao. They thwarted his plans and he spent his DYING breath standing on business. Gotta respect it.

Tags - @eveningatthemoviesnetwork

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Do you have a favorite Bridgerton book/storyline?

Favorite/Least Favorite changes book to show?

So let me start this answer by saying that I haven’t watched any of season 3 yet. 🫣 Part of that is money reasons. We pared down our streaming services to the minimum when money was tight and I just haven’t gotten around to renewing my Netflix. Probably will once the rest of season 3 drops because… (book spoilers below the cut)

My 3 favorite books/storylines are:

1) When He Was Wicked (Francesca & Michael Stirling) because holy damn and hell and everything holy in between. Michael Stirling is the epitome of making consent sexy. That's all I'm gonna say about that, but I've seen enough talk and gif's floating around here to know that they've introduced John Stirling already and I am HERE for them laying the groundwork for a season five or six focused on Francesca and Michael Stirling.

2) Romancing Mr. Bridgerton (Colin & Penelope) asfklsjfksanfs. I loved how sweet their story is, enough that I am mildly concerned about how they're going to deal with the massive change on the show, i.e. the fact that book!Lady Whistledown didn't nearly bring ruin and humiliation down on the Bridgerton family at all, let alone twice. On the one hand, I understand why show!Penelope did this and I kind of love that they've given her this massive mistake, this huge flaw for her and Colin to work through. But also 🫣 I don't have an excessive amount of faith in them handling these kinds of changes well on the show because the show is all about The Drama. Which brings me to...

3) The Viscount Who Loved Me (Anthony & Kate) Look. I absolutely love some of the changes they've made while translating the books to screen. And I don't even care all that much for the historical accuracy of the show. They threw it out the window with season one and made it a brilliant alternate universe that allows them the freedom to not only give us a diverse cast but also give the middle finger to anyone who says "that' never would've happened." So I'm willing to forgive a lot of changes. Buuuuutttt.... having Anthony actually propose to Edwina, having Edwina actually believing she wanted to marry Anthony, changed the characters in a way that didn't sit very well with me. At least not with the way it was handled on the show.

So that covers my least favorite change they've made on the show so far, now for my two favorite changes.

Benedict. Gah he's so much better, such a more interesting and fleshed out character on the show than he is in the book. They've maintained his fantastic sense of humor and relationships with his siblings and somehow made it better by bringing in the pseudo underground culture of artists, the introduction of queer characters, and his cravats! I could write an ode to show Benedict's wardrobe it is FABULOUS. And while I know I said above that I don't really care for the changes made to Anthony's story, I'm kind of hoping they flip book!Benedict's story on it's head and see where they can take it. Because that book was one of my least favorites. Give him a man. Or give him a woman built like Luisa Madrigal but who sometimes dresses as a man and can pull it off. I don't care but do SOMETHING ELSE besides the nonsense that happens in his book and GIVE HIS PARTNER SOME FUCKING AGENCY.

Queen Charlotte. Look. She's not even in the books, but she's one of my favorite characters on the show. She and Lady Danbury own my whole heart, okay? And her spinoff show... I've only been able to watch it once because (other than the money issue mentioned above), I was crying literal buckets starting somewhere around episode five until the end and I binge watched that shit so what is that like six hours straight crying???? Also, having her as a character gave us Brimsley and Reynolds. (*whispers my poor overworked and beleaguered babies*) I wasn't overly fond of the role she played in dragging out the drama surrounding Anthony and Edwina, but that could've been avoided entirely if you'd given show!Edwina even an ounce of book!Edwina's compassion and understanding of her sister and had her do something equally dramatic like, oh I don't know... TURN HIM DOWN?!?!? (Can you tell I'm still salty about this?)

Alright, that's enough of that. I have a job interview to prepare for, but this was a nice distraction from my inevitable nerves.

Love,

kdnfb

[hakusins]

Very important question from someone you may or may not know:

Are you interested in Greek Mythology? If so, do you have any favourite gods, goddesses, creatures, and myths? Can we also know why you like them? 🎤

yeah i like greek mythology a normal amount. bjhEBRJHFBHJERBFJJEBRHF

BUT IN ALL HONESTY, anon - this ask had me running around clawing at my walls screeching and IT DEFINITELY WOKE UP A LOT OF DEMONS THAT WERE SLEEPING IN MY HEAD HJERBFBJHERF i actually had to take the whole day to just calm myself down.

no i don't like greek mythology i LOVE IT. I ALSO LOVE EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY, NORSE MYTHOLOGY, RIGHT NOW DABBLING INTO EAST ASIAN MYTHOLOGY LIKE KOREAN, JAPANESE AND CHINESE BUT IM GETTING THERE !!!!!! BHJTGBHJRHJHERFHBERFJ GRRRRRGRGGRHETGGRER. !!!!!!!!! IM SUCH A NERD, I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT MYTHS, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYTHS !!!!!!!!!! its why I love the BL series ENNEAD and I LOVE LOVE LOVE xianxia danmei novels because ANYTHING WITH MYTHS WILL HAVE MY HEART!!!!!!

okay now onto your questions! In all honesty, from my very very deep and in depth knowledge of all of them, it is safe to say I can't say i think of any of them as cool or anything. i think they're all assholes one way or another. but i do quite like {oseidon because myths involving him are always the funniest to me JBHREFBJHREF but for goddesses... hm, there's not much but i quite like athena :DDD I honestly don't really have favourite goddesses/gods, but I do have favourite creatures!!!

THE MINOTAUR, ASTERION, IS DEFINITELY MY FAVOURITE !!!! HIS STORY TO ME IS SO TRAGIC, like he was always destined to be a monster - there was no moment since his conception that he could be anything BUT a monster and its just so utterly heartbreaking because this perversion of nature was created just by the gods, so by that principle, shouldn't he be something to be revered? something to be respected? or is it because his mom fucked the sacred bull gifted by Poseidon in order to conceive him that dictates that he is nothing more than a stain on his family, that he was an abomination that shouldn't have been born? bUT NOT ONLY THAT, his creation is the results of the gods' intending to punish King Minos for his arrogance and greed, but they made Queen Pasiphae, his wife, to bear the brunt of the humiliation? Like she's an innocent party in this matter, but she's the one who is forced to bear a half bull child and her husband just gets humiliation? I DONT KNOW ITS JUST, the creature of the Minotaur just fascinates me deeply that I want to nitpick the author or just the person who begun this myth because what was the cultural environment that inspired this myth? Was there a real life event that inspired this? Or was this just a cruel and sick imagination of how mortals think the gods dole out their punishments?

I CAN HONESTLY YAP THE SAME WITH MEDUSA, but Medusa had so many chances to not BECOME the gorgon Medusa. Like there could be timelines where Medusa was not a priestess in Athena's temple, where her tragedy began. Medusa could've chosen to be something or someone else and there's a chance she could've escaped her fate. THE MINOTAUR NEVER GOT THAT CHANCE, hell if you asked anyone with a mild knowledge of Greek mythology, no one would know that the Minotaur's name is Asterion! They only know him as the Minotaur, the beast of the Labyrinth.

but for myths, I honestly can't choose - Helen of Troy? Odysseus? Arachne? King Midas? Ixion? Sisyphus? Tantalus? Lycaon? Europa? The foundation of Athens? The birth of Peresphone? Hades and Persephone? Eros and Psyche? Adonis? Narcissus? Jason and the Argonauts? Perseus? Theseus? Heracles? The Titanomachy? The birth of Aphrodite? The Gigantomachy? Atalante? Typhon and Echidna? The birth of Dionysus? The several renditions of the birth of Zagreus? The birth of Hermes? Achilles and Patroclus? The women of the Amazon? The Titans? Pandora's Box? I CAN GO ON BUT THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT !!! I HONESTLY HAVE SO MUCH FUN AND IM LOVING SO MUCH BERJFJBHERJBFEJHRF URHGRGHT please come back to talk to me about greek mythology anon please please please please, i swear i'm normal.

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/773470214232866816/are-you-following-the-liam-payne-case-his-friend?source=share

Ooooh I agree with you both this would be a dangerous precedent! Out here (Australia but idk if it was nationwide or state) if you had a first aid certificate and didn't stop and provide assistance at a car accident you could be charged with some sort of failing to assist/ negligence charge.... Which lead to people not learning first aid, or not renewing their credentials so they couldn't be charged. It has since been changed that there is no obligation to provide help unless you're in a position where you're expected to care for people like a parent/ guardian, teacher, or if it's a car accident and you were in it you're expected to help the person. My mum told me she didn't do an official first aid course because of this, because it was also when HIV/ AIDs was new and there was a lot of fear around it and no one knew how it was spread and my mum was afraid she'd give mouth to mouth to someone with it and then infect our family and we'd all die, or she wouldn't give mouth to mouth and get charged with a crime. it goes without saying I'm repeating what my mum told me lol

I've stopped people from doing a lot of dumb shit when they were drunk or on something (why do they always want to climb on the roof?!? 😩) but there were also times when I went home because I didn't want to be around it... Looking back I wonder if I should've done more, but apart from tie them up or calling the cops (both would be frowned on), I don't think I personally could've done anything? It's a scary thought rabbit hole

That's hectic re the Australian laws and really stupid. Like that sucked. Glad they're fixing it.

I also want to know why drunk/high people love climbing shit lmao like because even when I'm drunk/high, I don't go climbing shit. Actually I feel like I'm LESS likely to go climb shit when I'm high/drunk because I do have self-awareness even then and I know it's not safe.

I don't think it's our responsibility to make people's choices for them. Obviously you can politely tell someone like "man, I think you've had enough" but if the person doesn't want to accept that then it's not really your problem. I've also been the drunk/high person who doesn't want to hear that and like... when I'm in that state then I don't want to hear it and people telling me stuff are just gonna make me go "fuck u" and continue doing whatever self-destructive crap I'm doing. Like no you don't have to "do more" when AN ADULT is actively self-destructing idk. And I say that as the person who's been self-destructing and also the person who's like "yo babe this is heeeectic u should stop" like I've been on both sides of the equation and either way it's not anyone but the person making the choices' fault.

Again, Liam was a big boy and none of his mates were responsible for him doing a fuckton of drugs. Like they didn't roofie him lol. They just didn't stop him from... taking a fuckton of drugs... which is what he wanted to do. And again, we can say that's not his fault because he was an addict and his illness got the better of him but while it wasn't his fault, it was still his CHOICE if that makes sense.

Liam was functioning, right? If they wanted to section him and put him in rehab then they could've done that but he wasn't sectionable because fwiw he was pretty fucking functional (by Liam's standards) right up until... he did a fuckton of drugs and accidentally fell off a balcony, which is a risk u take when you do that many drugs soooo idk.

[hidesalvation]

I'd love to hear about your ocs! Do you have some basics for them?

yessss so. once upon a time aka earlier this year before shit got fucked i had a huge weaving story going for them. but now that story needs some tweaks because a lot of it was inspired by suffering i was currently going through and i dont want it to reflect that as much anymore so it needs a pretty decent upheaval so a lot of things are kind of. waves hand. right now because idk how im fixing it yet. but

these four are the main protagonists :) theyre from two different groups of assorted animals called the keys and the ridges. lazarus and atheris are from the keys, vesper and rosetta are from the ridges. they take the name of their group as their last name so their names would for example be lazarus key or rosetta ridge because i think its cute.

their two groups have been warring for a long time, but finally peace seemed to be on the horizon. tensions were settling and the groups were becoming comfortable with each other when suddenly the second in command (cool title pending) of the keys, and coincidentally lazarus's father, is murdered. these four are desperately trying to figure out who the murderer was and how to stop them before they strike again and before tensions explode between their groups.

lazarus is a sweet, compassionate cat whose considered kind of a jack of all trades and is held in high regard by all of the keys. he's in training to fill in their father's footsteps one day (which some close to him might say they're not too keen on doing, but he would never tell) when his father is killed, shattering their world. his narrative arc is about overcoming life ruining circumstance and becoming the person you want to be instead of what others expect you to be. he acts on the side of justice and ultimately doing the right thing, even if it hurts, even if you lose your way, because the other side will be so much better.

atheris is lazarus's childhood best friend. he's easygoing, aloof, and seemingly carefree. he has a hard time grappling with responsibility and his role in the group, thus pushing himself away from those around him. his rambunctious exterior hides a dark core of self doubt and guilt over the disappearance of his parents one fateful night when he was young and where he fits into the world without them. the howling in the woods he heard that night haunts him to this day.

rosetta is a confident and proud molly from the ridges. unbeknownst to the keys, the leader of the ridges - borne - has banned the healing of sick or injured pack mates, prioritizing the strong in case war were to break once again. rosetta is the forsaken healer, barred from aiding her family members. she has continued on in secrecy, vowing never to let anyone die over something she could've stopped no matter what leadership demands of her. she is the spark of rebellion.

vesper is lazarus's estranged sister, the two separated at birth during the height of the war. she was adopted and taken under the wing of borne, and how that influenced her growing up is glaringly obvious. she is quiet and cold, bristling and radiant, ready to strike at the first opportunity should you cross her. her intentions are pure, however, and she fights firmly on the side of righteousness. she has seen firsthand borne's descent into madness and suspects him of dark and twisted things. she may come across as a pawn in his game, but she's really the one playing the strings now, and her friends are the most important thing to her no matter what the cost of protecting them might be.

[thetangibleghost]

okay. TW for implied sexual violence. but like you kinda gotta read between the lines.

Park:

Just got off the phone with someone I know in the states. The Truman show delusion is really bad for me, but I said that I would keep my US number on till the 12, even though it's like 6 dollars a day. And I would do that for most people I guess. He was like. He exists. When I talk to him on the phone, I hear his voice. this is worse.

Vent:

💥, I really wanted it to happen again. I liked the way 💥 looked at me, and I liked the way you could see that 💥 was thinking. It didn't seem unfair, looking back I understand more, but there was no betrayal or anything. It was like I poked the bear. I had... fun. it felt really good, but that's kinda why it was fucked up. I feel like everyone can see me all the time, like they can just think about me and know what I'm doing. Friday helps by narrating what the crowd of sometimes specific people are taking about. But I think it's just a feeling, Friday helps give insight though.

〰️:

I look for ➖ everywhere, I saw her in 💥, I see her in everybody. When I got to know 💥 better I realized they were pretty different and liked them both. I didn't think ➖ and I ever expected eachother to be committed or anything, or four the to be any sure if relationship beyond what happened. nobody in the system believes me that she existed. Nobody believes 'Vent' about 💥 either. It's hard to keep faith that ➖ is even alive, it seems unlikely. I didn't think either of them would like present day us very much either. I'm suprised the guy who we talked on the phone with still talks to us, I think it's more of a convenience thing. I had a lot of questions to ask ➖. I never really got the chance, or I was to scared. I really wanted to ask her if she believed in God and what her God what like. I think she would've thought I was joking. The other alters think it's all metaphor, that it's me latching onto stories. They're the ones that actually believe the Truman show shit idk why I'm the fucking crazy one for being like "u know how we have the forget you childhood trauma disorder? well there were some people we forgot". I always back up other alters when they come forward with stories or forgotten faces, but they never return the trust, the integrity. It's like I'm just the fucking crazy girl. I feel so fucking alone without her, even after learning about how people get endoctrinated into this kinda stuff I still feel like my parents should have understood, that they were choosing to do that to me. like, Abraham didn't have to bring Isaac up the mountain, he could've said "my God would never make someone do that, my God wouldn't want me to kill my child." but I bet he was excited to try. And I bet he'd wanted to before. I don't even like that God, That's the God they were always saying was my God. They never told me about the Bible or much about Jesus or anything. And they told me so many lies. They didn't like the Bible, but it had to be that one because they mentioned Jesus. We never even went to church. A few years ago I was looking through a box of my mom's things and found out id been promised to the Evangelicals. its not the same as a baptism, I think it might have been for my grandparents or something. It's not like this was some long running family thing, like why did this happen? Who's God were you serving? was it anyone's at all? it sometimes felt like you really did believe what you were saying. I blame the internet.

Love:

I keep thinking he's fucking outside my fucking door. I think he's an introject of ➖. He keeps telling me real and he's coming to save me. he keeps telling me to do things. So many of my alters just ask me to do things. When they're not fronting, they like to sit next to me and lie about everything. Sometimes It's like I back up and I can see the shape of this whole thing, these parts that don't have so much control, just working with old tools, ticking clocks, old mindsets. Im embarrassingly dependant on him. I just remembered a section of the innerworld, some bit of story but I didn't remember the context. some post apocalypse or woods outside of a war zone... I think didn't starve characters are involved smh. teen getting his face pressed to a grill over a fire. I HEAR LAUGHING ALL THE TIME OUTSIDE, normal but the timing always seems... well timed! Every time I hear it. Since he woke up last November I've associated Friday with laughter, not always good. I was in the hospital and there was a guy laughing, like uncontrollable joker-type laughing, I was so convinced it was him, because it started after I had thought about him laughing! Everything just seems so connected. Whenever I look outside or open the door he's never there. I think it might be the audience messing with me, everyone has decided I don't deserve to balance on the tightrope, so they shake it. and I'm so scared. Nothing makes sense. There's a dead snake in the road. My eardrums are blown out like daisies. I'm growing crystals in my throat, purple. People don't bleed, that's a myth. You soft boys love to beat people with your pillow fists, claiming physics isn't real, claiming the lion is the winner, claiming teeth never dull, claiming claiming claiming. I want to rip your feathers out with my teeth, make you incapable of flight. I'm so jealous that you all get wings. These flashbacks are so embarrassing, full body plays, I just feel like a nymphomaniac. I'm so tired of it all being so serious. 💥 was nice because Vent got to say what she/he always wanted to say, no punishment, love like how the tires love the road enough that the bones break and the organs spread like butter. as opposed to an impact, to a hunt, to photographs of dead bodies in snow, like the cold was the killer when really the killer was warm. It's all just an means to an end with this kinda stuff. Friday said that after it happened 💥 noticed rope burns on our wrists, but that 💥 was uninvolved. I don't remember ever having rope burns, but someone drew a picture once. We were older in that picture than Vent is implying though. The guy we just got off the phone with reminds me of ➖ too. but in a weird way I'm not used to. I think we're forgetting her, we've always been forgetting. but I think it's to the point now where there's barely any left at all. I know that's not what everyone says, I'm sure 〰️ disagrees. Idk if she really existed anyway. Idk if any of this stuff is real, or just another means to some unknown end.

Last four lines of Tulips by Sylvia Plath

"And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes

Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.

The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,

And comes from a country far away as health."

as I get older the meaning I take changes, but my favorite line has always been "And I'm aware of my heart: it opens and closes"

I wanted to get it tattooed on the outside of my shoulder for a while. like sort of American traditional style but just the line art, and then the red roses. But idk. what if someone skins it off of me or something.

[goongiveusnothing]

so my policeman came up on my streaming service the other day and i figured it's now so far out from when it was released that i could watch it with fresh eyes and let me just say, this is a fucking terrible movie.

first thing is, everything about this movie is a tired cliche. from the opening scene where we see old people staring at younger photos of themselves, old timey music singing about nostalgia, flashback sequences, the whole thing felt like a special flashback episode of a soap opera tv series.

i remembered that the reviews had mentioned that the whole premise of harry's character getting married to corrin's while having this gay affair and that it seemed unnecessary and cliched. when reading those reviews i was a bit confused and gave the author and writers of this movie leeway because this was in the 60s so obviously gay guys were more likely to settle down with women and fake being straight while having affairs.

but having watched it i totally get what they meant, because the entire premise of this movie with harry deciding to make this a threeway relationship and get married made absolutely no sense. it would've been way more interesting for harry's character to already be married and then to catch dawson's character in the act of something and then become fascinated and obsessed with him in that way. anything to make these relationships to feel urgent and interesting. there didn't feel like any real pressure for him to do all of this. no pressure from his family, no pressure from the policing agency, nobody almost catching them forcing him to need to do this. once again, instead of creating urgency or a genuine reason to care about this dilemma, it came across forced and stupid and you just didn't care about it, because why should you.

also his whole interest in art and how they first meet feels really dumb. like i said, it would've been way more interesting for them to meet because dawson was caught with dudes or committing some type of offense. but having them sort of know each other casually because he's a cop even though his character obviously hates cops and then they start talking about art is just boring. why not have harry's character be interested in art and be pursuing it on his own and making mistakes and not really knowing what he's doing and maybe he then meets dawson and then sees him in an art class or vice versa. have this interest feel real. have harry's interest in him feel like something he's needed for a while. every piece of this story could've been made more compelling and instead we got the most trite unbelievable narrative instead.

harry styles is a terrible actor. when i saw people describe him as "just being there" in a scene i assumed they meant that he was sort of a background presence and didn't detract from the air in a scene, but he fucking punches the oxygen out of every scene we see him in. it's like he gives every scene covid oxygen depletion. i cannot believe there's anyone who gave him any positive reviews on his acting. he has zero screen presence. zero charisma. he's a vacant black hole of personality. there's no body language, no facial expressions, you will find soap opera actors who give more and feel more tempered when they're walking in the background of a scene than in this.

but the absolute worst thing about him is his voice acting. he reads scripts like the kids in class would read out shakespeare when they could barely read. it's all just chunks of dialogue and there's zero emotion, zero passion, zero nuance. he says everything in the same flat way. he is a fucking disaster of an actor. so many moments that were meant to be serious and you have to laugh because he's so fucking diabolical. that first blowjob scene between them where harry says "i don't know what's happening" just fucking hilarious. i cannot believe it's possible to say those words in a supposed passionate tense sexy encounter where we're meant to feel propelled into their chemistry and he's sounding like a child called up in class to explain quadratic equations. every romantic scene in this movie is a disaster when you can see his face and hear his voice. everything becomes hilarious. that other scene of him being drunk and yelling. it's all so fucking goofy. "don't. please". how did anyone on set just let these things keep happening?

HARRY IS A TERRIBLE KISSER. we've seen him giving three major kisses so far in public or onscreen and they're all fucking terrible. the first kiss he gives here is that weird face devouring one. it's like he thinks trying to demonstrate huge passion will create sexual chemistry and a beautiful onscreen relationship. instead he's like some alien character trying to deskin other living beings. and that would've been a way more interesting movie. the first sex scene in bed and he does his face devouring thing. he doesn't let kisses build up, he doesn't let this seem shy or timid or awkward, he doesn't know how to engage and respond and flow with the other person which we saw too with emrata, it's just full on face devouring and this rapid passionate stuff that doesn't feel like it goes with the vibes of the characters or scene. the kisses are always about him and him acting like he's trying to win some type of contest. the other person barely exists to him. it's another moment where you either cringe or laugh.

i also get why all the reviewers critiqued his queerbaiting in general in this and how it perhaps explains why he's incapable of showing any undercurrent or complexity or turmoil or second layer to his character in any of this. there's absolutely no credibility to the idea he relates to this character or to any part of this storyline. he really doesn't even pretend to struggle in this movie. you never feel any sort of complexity or yearning or undercurrent. this man just walked into the scenes every day and sat there and got paid and went home. the fact he thought and was told by so many people he could become a famous actor is symptomatic of how nothing fucking matters anymore in society. your connections and industry swagger is all that people need.

anyway, it's not a good movie. don't know why anyone even took part in it outside of the value they knew it had in queerbaiting harry's fans. i also get why none of his fans even obsesses or talks about it to this day the way people did with great movies like call me by your name or other queer tv shows. there's nothing about this movie that any normal person would ever rewatch again or feel interested or in love with these relationships or characters.

[0xo]

that post about trying to break cycles by being nothing like ur abuser but actually failing to grow better behaviors... (tw lots of talk of suicide and death, mentions of abuse)

really hitting hard rn considering the death of my uncle who hated his (admittedly terrible) father but ended up perpetuating the same exact bullshit onto his wife and kids. and then died bc he couldn't face that fact. like when faced w divorce and the idea of losing his control over his family he... fucked off and died. (still don't have details on how, unsure if it was on purpose but. signs point to...) [AND PREFACING WITH: i do NOT think all people who die by suicide are cowardly or bad people or anything like that. i am talking about a very specific and complicated situation in my own family. please do not interpret this as me saying that all people who die by suicide were bad people/dodging responsibility/could've "worked harder to improve their situation." i know deeply that that is NOT the case, i have been personally impacted by suicide in other ways. i am just discussing one person and the circumstances around his death.]

and of course im sad, we were close once, he is family. ofc im sad he felt dying was better than trying to sort out his life or trying to be a good coparent. but the way he treated his (very sweet, very patient) wife was deeply unacceptable to me. he isolated her, and didn't properly care for his high-support needs autistic kids, and pinned it all on her. he was terrible to my mother and forced all my grandma's end of life care on my mother. he hurt us a lot with his behavior.

and like. i don't think he necessarily deserved to die bc of it, right? he had his own issues, he cut himself off too and refused help from everyone, these problems run in the family and he knew that and still wouldn't accept help. and you can't MAKE anyone accept help. but i can't help but think that if he'd, maybe, been open to the people who loved him, he could've... restructured. he was so smart, so clever, so creative! he could've done anything he wanted to, he was so good at anything he tried.

and yet. in trying to avoid being like his father. he ended up doing all the same things. and i think that was too much for him to handle. and i hate that, i hate that so much.

he leaves behind two brilliant, brilliant children - they're SO CLEVER. but he couldn't accept their support needs and didn't treat them well. they don't even know he's dead yet, i don't think. but they love him, and he saw them as manipulative and trying to intentionally ruin his life. they're small children. they haven't even developed the capability to manipulate yet, they just want some chocolate milk, right? and yet he compared those kids to his father.

it just hurts. this wasn't necessary. my poor fucking mum is now an orphan with two dead siblings. how is she meant to deal with all this? how is she supposed to reconcile the grief of his needless death with the absolutely shit way he treated her and their mother?

luckily we love his widow very much and we will make sure she and the kids are okay. but i truly don't understand anything. it just sucks balls to watch someone ruin their own life and leave a giant fucked up mess behind. and then everyone's saying sorry and apologizing for my loss, like i didn't lose him years ago, like we were still close, like i'm not angry with the way he treated the people around him. we grew up like siblings. but that connection was basically severed when he started acting like a jackass. i don't know how to respond to people trying to comfort me. they all assume i'm really really sad, and i am, but i'm also pissed off, and i don't think anyone knows what to do with that.

because you're not supposed to be pissed at someone for dying, especially if it's probably suicide, you're meant to be tragically sad. you're not supposed to say they were wrong, you're supposed to apologize for being wrong and not seeing the signs earlier, you're supposed to be sorry. and you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, even if they were fucking complicated, you're meant to shove all those negative emotions aside to grieve the good of them.

and i do grieve the good of him! i grieve the family member he could've been if he had actually broken cycles! but i'm fucking angry. you don't get to treat everyone around you like shit and then kill yourself to get out of being remembered as an asshole. it doesn't work like that. you're still an asshole, now you're just dead and can't take responsibility for fucking up people's lives. i'm sorry he felt that was the best way out. AND good god, he was a grown man with every opportunity to improve himself. and he chose to stagnate and be fucking mean. dying in a shit way doesn't erase that.

and like, listen, i understand that people are complicated. i don't think everyone who dies by suicide is an asshole. MOST people who do were genuinely failed by the people and systems around them, they weren't bad people, they were in bad situations. they didn't have help or a way out. it's not inherently selfish or evil, it's fucking devastatingly sad.

and mental illness is complicated and hard. like. hm. i don't think it's his fault he was fucked up, it runs heavy in our family, he was traumatized too. but. he talked so much about growing past that and then just... didn't. he had support, he had a good therapist, he talked the talk. and didn't walk the walk AT ALL. he treated people like dirt. and i understand that certain illness our family is prone to, they make it extremely hard to get or accept help, okay? i get that. i really do. but you can't just fall back on mental illness and trauma as an excuse for financially/emotionally abusing your wife and neglecting-to-the-point-of-abusing your children. it wasn't okay when his dad did it and it's not okay that he did it. and what makes it worse is that he was so aware of how fucked up his childhood made him, and self-aware enough to superficially recognize his own faults, but not enough to change how he interacted with people. why must these cycles continue! why!

i'm so angry and so sad. i don't even know my cousins well because he was so ashamed of how poorly he treated them that he cut us off from them. he hated my mum and so held me at arm's length to avoid interacting with her in any capacity. they're sweet kids...

anyways. sorry. im just so so so so so so so so so tired of death in my family and abuse cycles. im so tired in general and these giant unnameable unfathomable emotions don't help. i feel like the suicide element makes it even harder to talk about, because i sound like an absolute cunt for saying any of this to people who don't know the situation. nothing about it is simple. nothing about it is easy. i don't know what to do anymore at all tbh!!!!!!

[giggly-squiggily]

came in second place at the board game but my dad came in last so that's a win in my book hehe

ANYWAY. eizen x jikka. hear me out.

they both join the asaemon at a rather young age and they leave one hell of an impression on each other. eizen for one is so cool, he's got an eyepatch for christ's sake, jikka is immediately enamored. and jikka is so amazing too, he's so quick, eizen could never be this quick, his mind is absolutely blown.

and as they get older, there's more impressions of each other, impressions that are correct right away and impressions that get proven wrong down the road. eizen seems dense at first, but jikka soon realizes that he's not too dumb to notice the small details, he's just smart enough to not blurt them out immediately. jikka seems like he has his head up in the clouds all the time, but eizen has to admit to himself that jikka sees so much more than eizen ever could (pun intended). but jikka is so pretty and eizen is so beautiful, that they notice right away and that much remains true.

and the impressions just keep piling up because they watch each other so much and they catch each other staring and jikka loves how eizen blushes when he does and eizen loves how jikka stutters when he calls him out on it and before they know it they're behind the shrine and kissing like there's no tomorrow, because well maybe there won't be, you never know.

but jikka knows that this is right. eizen is jkka's first kiss that makes him feel anything other than mild intrigue, jikka is eizen's first everything and it's a good feeling to be one to give him all of these new impressions because eizen should learn to live a little, he really should. and with jikka he comes alive, or at least that's the impression jikka gets because suddenly eizen is laughing and smiling and it's the greatest thing in the world and jikka loves the glances they throw each other because they make him feel like he's special, like what they have is special.

turns out it's not. or not anymore. now there's something else that's more important, more special. this thing had been going on for nearly twelve years and of course jikka always knew that it'd never be more than a secret but he would've hoped to be dropped for something actually important. not for duty. not for that self-righteous construct of honor and status that eizen has made up in his thick head that makes him act like he's got the biggest fucking stick up his- eizen doesn't let him finish that insult, but jikka does get to tell him that no one cares as much about eizen as eizen does and that might have just been the absolute worst thing to say. doesn't matter though. not like he could apologize if eizen doesn't talk to him anymore. (he shouldn't apologize, he should take it back altogether. it was a lie. jikka does. jikka cares, more than anyone in the world.)

eizen doesn't let him take it back and jikka stops trying after a while. he finds new people, beautiful people, but none of them are as beautiful as eizen and none of them ever will be. not the stoic women that fall for the same sweet talk eizen fell for and not the thick men that don't catch onto his seduction until it's too late in the same way eizen never caught on. it's just not the same. not even with the woman he's supposed to marry, with her beautiful red hair. jikka likes the red hair of the woman whose name he doesn't know.

does it even matter? there's no space in his head for such trivial information. he fought gods, he traveled to the edge of the world, he lost the only people he could've ever called family and he didn't even mourn them, there's just no goddamn space. (he tried to mourn them, he really did, but he couldn't do it. eizen would be so disappointed.)

he also really tries not to think about eizen because if he does he also thinks about how eizen's last words to him were "until then" and if jikka had known that until then would be until never he would've... done something. grabbed eizen and kissed him in front of the goddamn shogun and everyone who was watching. yelled at him to stay. yelled at him to not be such an idiot. yelled at him that he loved him. said goodbye. done literally anything but smile his stupid fake smile and say "save travels", because that's a stupid thing to say to someone who's going to sell to the edge of the world and that stupid fake smile is worthless to someone who's seen the real smile. eizen always said jikka was much prettier when he wasn't trying to look like someone else.

but he's smiling that fake smile while standing next to the woman he'll marry, the woman he's marrying right now, because he wishes he was someone else. a different jikka who would've gone with eizen right away, who would've managed to convince eizen that his precious rules were stupid and his beloved duty was hollow and that they could've been free if they had just let themselves be. but he's not that different jikka. he's the jikka who let eizen leave like a bloody idiot and now he's standing next to a woman he doesn't want to know and recites a vow he wrote while thinking about someone else. someone who should be by his side but isn't. someone he would have followed anywhere, had he just been given a chance.

(that got so long i'm so sorry, if this doesn't convince you i literally don't know what will because i just poured my SOUL into this)

Is it bad my first thought upon reading that ship pair was “Oh that’s hot” 🤣🤣🤣💀 But no seriously- I ADORE???

No cause seriously I love love LOVE the impressions of one another and how the relationship started out so wonderful- and then the angst- Rey the ANGST you really had to rip my heart out like that the way it just faded off and despite Jikka surrounding himself with beautiful people it will never be Eizen and how he wished he could have done something else in those final words of goodbye and the hair thing THE FUCKING HAIR THING ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT- AHH! Oh my god this was deliciously angsty and beautiful and perfect and my freaking HEART AHHH!! REY!

This was delicious and beautiful and perfect and both broke my heart and sold me on this ship I love it GAH! Thank you for sharing!

[gnsaein]

[ origins / profile / plots / muse ]

🤸 —— ! happy opening day everyone, i'm so excited to be here. i'm sol (they/xe) and this is my manic pixie failgirl moon saein --- ran from the bad clutches of his family six years ago, only to end up in the arguably worse clutches of a nefarious circus troupe ( as one does ) , then finally came limping back to gaenari a week ago.

leave a like if you'd like me to reach out for plots! alternatively, we can just start a thread and see where chemistry takes us.

THEN:

moon saein, born in 1999, single child of moon seonhee and moon bomin. they're descended from one of the first families to build houses in gaenari, so they go a long ways back if anyone else is old blood !

his father's a big stickler for tradition and legacy. rumor has it that his marriage to seonhee was arranged and bomin, who was feral for a successor to carry on his torch, saw her as nothing more than a way to extend his bloodline. i'm taking inspiration from carrie for his childhood, so if you know the vibes...then u know.

formerly a chronic runaway. his parents were already disappointed that he turned out to be incompetent when it came to the construction family legacy, but the runaway antics were when they really gave up on him.

it was a typical cry for attention. they could've gotten angry, they could've punished him, he would've taken anything if it meant that, idk, they actually gave a shit about him? but it was like he was invisible if he wasn't serving them a purpose.

would run away intermittently between 13-17yrs old, culminating to 6 years ago when he finally, properly ran --- a very abrupt and fevered decision, and the first time that he actually gets out of gaenari. he ends up in daehan, where he spends a year just surviving. if anyone has a muse who was also on a bender in daehan around 5-6 years ago, hmu, they could've gotten fucked up and self destructive together : )

after daehan, he ended up joining a circus, for a lack of a better word. it was a traveling troupe of performers and they performed on makeshift stages in glitzy masks, and at that point it was the most magical thing saein had ever seen in his little sheltered life.

saein meets his mentor eunha there and she helps him become one of their most reliable performers --- showy, impressive acrobatics leaping through the air, twisting up hanging silk ribbons. to the audience, it's all shows and gimmicks, but eunha insists that there's something more at the heart of their shows. that there's magic. saein, prone to fantasy and romance, completely buys it.

the catch: there's a test that all performers go through before they're considered a permanent part of the troupe. eunha says that if he does, the magic will be pleased with him too. and saein would do just about anything to make somebody proud; he agrees without a second thought.

the test involved him helping out with a vanishing act. you can read more about it in his background, but basically it ended with him falling into a small, dark, locked box for over 12 hours, screaming for help and terrified that no one would remember to come looking for him.

when the test "ends" and he's "rescued," he can't talk or sleep properly for a full week. eunha wants him to try again. she says she knows he can do it, he just needs to be stronger.

saein can't deal with the pressure of disappointing her 🤘 he sneaks out a few nights later, quiet and inevitable, and runs right back home.

NOW:

his parents aren't happy he's back, borderline pissed about it. they tell him to find his own place to stay. he's therefore now eun street's latest resident at apt. #403 (and looking for a roommate!)

a receptionist at the gym. he plans to befriend security to let him stay a little longer after hours, bc the acrobatics were actually therapeutic and he needs someplace to keep practicing.

i'm thinking it has only been a week or so since he came back? he's been quiet.

in general, he's quieter than before. still animated if you get him going, but he's jumpy and prone to spacing out these days. to anyone who knew him before, it's a notable difference from the bright eyed, bushy tailed kid he used to be.

he came back bc he convinced himself that there was something calling him back to gaenari. is it magic here too? is it some cosmic entity that lives inside of the mountain and wants him carnally? or was he just so terrified of disappointing eunha that he had to make up a fantasy excuse to leave them too? who knows! 🔮

when he's not working, he's wandering around claiming to be listening to the ghosts of the mines or laying out somewhere on a field, head full of tumbleweeds.

PLOTS:

here are his established plots!

people who knew him before. his parents tried really hard to downplay his existence when they couldn't control him but that probably came off as them trying to sweep the ""bad seeds"" under the rug.

people who didn't know him before. he's marveling at all of the little ways town has changed and the new faces around.

people he met while he was in daehan 5-6 yrs ago. this could have been anywhere from a quick meeting to a months long spiral into codependency (jk! unless)

it would take more plotting, but i'd also love a connection with someone who knew of/once watched/was also part of the troupe that he was in? maybe someone else he helped out of that circus and brought back to gaenari or someone who followed him here?

ever since his “test” he’s been terrified of sleeping in locked rooms, and just small, closed spaces in general. maybe someone runs into him freaking out while they’re someplace confined and has to be like Hey .. Calm down?…

he likes to ride the bus/trains out to daehan sometimes just to feel like he's going somewhere. give me someone who's on those late night rides too, who maybe also knows a thing about the dark.

any old friends he left behind; except for the muse involved in his one established plot, he didn't tell anyone he was leaving

for anyone looking to stay a little later at the gym too, they'll start to constantly find him there, so he could sneak them in absolutely with no questions asked.

any fellow people out there with family issues lol. they can commiserate and give each other advice that they can't follow for themselves.

healthy coping mechanisms, unhealthy coping mechanisms. i-don't-know-you-but-you've-got-the-same-fucked-up-look-in-your-eye isms. we-just-need-to-take-our-minds-off-the-grisly-act-of-surviving isms. i-will-not-ask-where-you-came-from-and-neither-should-you isms [hozier outro plays us out]

i'm very sorry that this is so long. if you got here, ily, let's write together 🙏.

[swordsovereign]

[ META ] + what being the leader of the eternals mean to him

oh ok ok here we go

so the eternals are literally just a HUGE FOUND FAMILY and they are sorta dysfunctional at times (often) but somehow they still come together when the world needs them the most, which is fantastic.

seofon created the eternals at first because he was like "damn wouldn't it be cool if i just had a team of badasses" and thats literally like canon dialogue he says to anre, and it's like ... ok seofon, sure, but it's actually more than that

i should make note here that as a person, seofon is incredibly lonely and very traumatized. he's isolated from others not only because he acts like a haughty jerk at times (and then gets teased by literally everyone around him), but because he is in fact the strongest of the eternals, and the eternals are the strongest in their weapon category- and if you factor in versus rising, belial backs out of a fight with anre (with the one rift spear) because basically anre was battling belial to a draw, and not that anre isn't strong, but seofon is the strongest of the eternals and that basically means in general each eternal can stand on par with high up astrals like belial or beelzebub and possibly lucilius,

by the mobile game, seofon's power startled lu woh, who is the wedge of light, a KEY FOUNDATION to reality, and seofon just had to point a sword at lu woh and say "stop trashing danchou" and lu woh fucking stopped. for reference, lu woh also admits that the six dragons can't tell an island from a grain of sand, and when you do any event or interaction with wilnas, he says that he KNOWS his experiences as basically a foundational god of reality are NOT shared by basically anyone so he wants to learn what it's like to be mortal,

yeah seofon's power is actually jarring to the six dragons, that says a lot.

now, imagine that you're a normal person and you learn about a dude who has all that and OH by the way, he can make swords from nothingness and also the boundary is not just a place he draws power from, but he "sees the sea of stars" according to lu woh which sorta points to him being more like logia (an axis) rather than just an overpowered mortal (there's a lot to unpack about seofon) and the only reason he's not an axis is because logia notes that there are other versions of seofon, but in every reality its the same logia (just a different appearance, they can do that) -

anyway, yeah seofon's power alone scares people off, and it's also said that the eternals are both renowned and feared for their powers, and basically seofon said "im tired of being alone, i want people who understand what i'm dealing with and i want them to not feel isolated" so he formed the eternals

he's team dad, he's been shown as team dad across events, and really the eternals mean everything to him. he might not always make the best choices (see: seeds of redemption) but what he does is always with the best interest of both the skydoms and his team at heart. because he doesn't want them to get hurt more than they've already been hurt, heck, feower and tien are literally his adopted siblings (he just said "ok these are mine now" and no one could stop him)

basically being leader of the eternals means being part of a family and that's something he needs, and whether or not the other eternals show up when he calls for them, he is just glad to know they're in his life at all, because honestly he is the "to be loved is to be changed" meme in human form ... he could've been awful if he'd been left alone without bonds to ground him to his humanity....

[xoteajays]

I know that I never hit you hard enough for you to forget how to count now.. I know that for a fact. So you can't actually blame that on me.

So how is the show? What do you think of the show now? Tell me! I'm wanting to know. I have questions. So tell me what you think about it.

~

Exactly! That seemed out of character for the Mighty Warriors. And.. I know. That could've just been aesthetic for the music video. But if it's supposed to be an epilogue where Warriors do become Kuryu, then it confuses me that you would give them any weapons though. Like the old Kuryu, like Ryu, uses weapons. But none of the Warriors ever did.

And don't get me wrong. An attractive man in a suit is attractive... But they've never worn suits before with the exception of Ryu. Ryu's style was always more 'professional' compared to the style any Warriors do wear, and he always only ever wore black clothes. Nothing that was in a flashy vibrant style like everyone else in Warriors, mainly streetwear clothes rather than suits. With colors. The complete opposite to Ryu.

If Ryu's the new leader of Kuryu, I don't see him backing down from a fight with anyone.. Especially not from any 'street trash' like the Rude Boys. He'd rather die than not kill them if given the chance to. And so many characters like Nikaido are completely bitches who can't fight.

~

Strawberry Girls are stupid! If the girls do not know basic information about men, their personalities, their styles, or anything. Then this just so happens to be why they're single. Because they're so stupid to me.

The only way that Rocky could prevent Kizzy from cutting off his limb would be because women wouldn't want to be around a man, without his limbs. That's the only reason why they never cut off his hands too.

And they make sure there is always duplicate keys around just in case the situation calls for it. Because that would be bad if you lost the key at all. So the senior Rascals always have a key for this whole situation.

I don't know how insane Kato might be. And we know that Sakyo and Ukyo might be insane in a violent way, to some extent, but never on a same level as Hyuga is. And if they know how insane Hyuga is.. Now I am actually imagining how the Daruma newbies find out that Hyuga's family was one of the original families in Kuryu. How'd they act then.

~

So I might've figured out the fucking recipes for the cocktails that are in Club Heaven! And we were both right too.. Seriously. That's not any joke either. The menu I sent you from the High&Low festivals, back in the time when people celebrated the franchise for coming out then.

It lists the flavor for the White Rascals as a calpico. So I've researched calpico... A milky type of drink that comes in five flavors - the original, lychee, white peach, strawberry and mango flavors. And even certain flavors like original, lychee and peach are white colored. Strawberry is pink colored. And mango is orange colored. So now, I'm imaging their signature drink would be with the calpico as the very main ingredient.

They would use every flavor. But original, lychee and white peach end up being the main flavors.. Because white colors for White Rascals.

And! Despite calpico not being an alcoholic drink, that is frequently in alcoholic drinks in Asian (especially Japan). But, of course, one of the liqueurs that mix it with is vodka. And if you do look up some of those drinks.. Those drinks look like the Rascals drinks in different glasses.

~

So apparently some of my bands updated their appearances for their new albums. Apparently I can't look at pretty Asian men respectfully... My staring is somewhere in between respectfully and disrespectfully.

~

You said fifth time? Definitely more than five characters for me.

The only exception to a mafioso who wasn't abused might have really been Vincenzo. Like.. I'm not saying his past wasn't said. But he never was abused by his father. That's all I will say about his character.

Like the Shelby family (from Peaky Blinders) came from very abusive families. Rocky counts.. If though Rocky isn't technically a mafioso in the traditional sense. He's a gang leader who had an abusive father so that led to his mother and sister committing suicide. And others too.

Obviously. I know. Criminals become criminals because of the past in their lives.. But still though. Have criminals come from normal pasts - in the same way criminals also come from abusive pasts too. Do both equally. Because having an unsuspecting antagonist is so interesting. But, then again, you just might not emphasize with any of them then.

it’s so long! it’s like watching a movie every episode. i’m still neither here or there on it, but i do like vincenzo himself as a character. also i thought the flick scene was cute, stealing that idea for my daydreaming.

~

it kinda sucks to slip the warriors into kuryu aesthetics because it was interesting to have ryu among the warriors because he was so un-warrior-ish. he’s like, a rich kid! he wears fancy clothes! ans uses weapons! he’s the literal black sheep in the warriors. so he stands out when with the warriors. but then they crammed the warriors all into the kuryu fashion and it’s. wrong.

put the warriors back in their colours! and their cool streetwear! ryu can be the one in his fancy high fashion clothes. it’s about the duality!

i think it’d embarrass ryu to be beaten by the rude boys. so it should absolutely happen. one of the rude boys deserves to knock him on his ass.

~

i’m imagining rocky just trying to convince one of the golden bomber/smg guys to give him the spare key and kizzy being there like ‘don’t you dare give him the key’ because she’s trying to get something from him while he’s trapped. on one hand, rocky’s his boss. on the other, kizzy will make his life hell for defying her. lose lose situation.

~

oh! calpico! i’ve had calpico before. i could see that being made into an alcoholic drink. looks there are a lot of ones online, ones with like gin, vodka or sake. idk what alcohols are popular in japan.

i think i’d prefer the strawberry flavour tbh, even tho it’s not white. i’m not a big fan of lychee, i don’t mind peach tho.

~

it’s definitely a favourite backstory for writing characters you need to feel some kind of empathy for. like time to make you feel bad for this character! flip a coin, is it going to be abuse or dead family?

gotta find some new material for sad backstories.