#with like the most heart wrenching background music

[iforgottoremember]

Ok but

"and I'll dream each night

Of some version of you

That I might not have but I

Did not lose"

Has me writhing in my grave like who let you-

[amymbona]

Challengers - the band

Among equally famous Arctic Monkeys or Gorillaz, fans have got nuts over the quickly rising indie band formed in 2006. Challengers consists of three uniquely charismatic members, each one equally as genuine, and yet they all fit together like pieces of puzzle, creating a what fans appreciate as the trio of the decade.

Fitting into the genre of pure english indie, the trio doesn't fear to bounce into the world of rock or deliver a heart-touching ballad, so versatile that it appears unbelievable to many. The critics deem Challengers as an immortal piece of music that will continue to live on and be appreciated decades into the future. Even the thirsty fans seem to agree.

Tashi Duncan

The frontman - in this case the front lady - carries the aesthetic part, providing a gentle caress with each of her smiles, known widely by her fair amount of dark toned lipsticks and pairs of leather pants. As the main vocalist, her voice is heard in most of the songs, and she is essentially the voice of the band.

The gorgeous grace with which she carries herself can hardly he matched, and by many, Tashi is often refered to as the bitch, which takes away from the beauty of her soul. Contrary to a popular belief, Tashi Duncan is a gentle human - a fact supported by all the fans that have met her - as she never misses an opportunity to hug a fan or sign a paper.

A sex symbol, often compared to Amy Winehouse or Fiona Apple, she's often reduced fo a pretty face - much to her fans' disappointment. The talent she possesses is nothing short of a gift, given to her by gods above, and certain female singers have expressed both their jealousy towards and support to the star.

Art Donaldson

Known as the people's sweetheart, the most one could spot of Art Donaldson is the messy mop of his curls peeking from behind the drum set. With often admired set of muscles - which many female fans attempt to grasp once the drummer ventures in public - it's no issue for him to be pounding into the drums and cymbals all night.

His steady beats offer a stable background to all of the band's songs, resembling the rhythm of our heartbeats. But the man who's been named as the best drummer of the current music wave is much more than that.

It's no secret that Art Donaldson does most of the songwriting, providing his fans an insight to his soul, which doesn't resemble the harshness of his clothing style at all. Upon further observation, it's clear that most of the lyrics are centered around love, affection, eroticism and gut-wrenching feelings. This gentle compassion, paired with a cute smile, makes Art the most wholesome face of the genre of indie.

Patrick Zweig

This man is not famous just for his pretty face, though it is the feature he is the most recognized for. With the electric guitar constantly glued to his hands and the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old, Patrick Zweig jumps from one side of the stage to another. Some might say he is a bad influence, supported by the handful amount of evidence of nicotine and alcohol induced behaviour.

Known for his unrealistically swiftly executed guitar riffs, Patrick is the one to transform the ideas into music, as the band itself has mentioned. Most of the early hits were made purely under his supervision, which helped set the initial direction the band would evolve in. Perhaps he is the one we should thank for having Challengers become real.

It was particularly Patrick who stole the hearts of many young ladies, successfully earning himself the title of the womanizer. Multiple women were spotted leaving the Zweig residence over the last few months, wearing evidently less clothing that they entered the luxurious villa in. As the most extroverted and publically followed member, Patrick Zweig might as well be the loudest element of the three-man band.

[puppiesandnightlock]

I saw a post of yours that hypothetically combined Batman’s Robins with Six: The Musical and that you do fanfic reviews. So. Here. 12k words of script fic be upon ye. It’s all mine! No beta, we die like… well… you know.

WHOO OKAY

i was genuinely so excited upon receiving this in my inbox, haha. So, starting off! Robins: The Musical is what the above description from @inamindfarfaraway's ask says, this fic is a whole script based from SIX the musical, while still being incredibly original. Let's dive in, shall we?

I listened to the whole thing with the SIX album in the background, matching each song with the lyrics and good Lord I was absolutely enthralled with how each rewritten lyric matched up with the given song. Some required a backtrack so that i could say the new lyric out loud to fit it better with the song, but that was to be expected and once I figured out, it was myself and my dog having an impromptu karaoke session with these new lyrics. The thing that I do have to mention is that while the Robins are in chronological order, the songs are not. For example, Dick has No Way, but Jason's song directly after is a re-imagining of All You Wanna Do. In all fairness, the way the lyrics were written (the fighting noises were a delight to act out instead of the 'mwah, ah,') matched up with Jason's character well. It's more of a personal peeve that the songs weren't in order, despite everything matching up.

Favorite lines and random little tidbits:

Damian's entire version of Sorry Not Sorry. Heart-wrenching. The transition from no remorse to regretting everything, the internal conflict? Gorgeous.

"Since I’ve both won and led two highly eventful lives, it’s only fair that I do another song to explain Jason Todd 2: This Time, It’s Personal. This one is inspired by the moment I learned Bruce hadn’t killed the Joker to avenge me. It’s called “Wearing Red to My Funeral”. Sing along if you know the words. 

Rock ballad intro.

Batman is a MASSIVE - "

3. Duke's group being the band! Wonderful little detail there.

4. Damian: I think you would fail the Turing test. 

Steph: Not now, Dami.

5. Steph's entire part. I love you, Stephanie Brown.

6. DAMIAN, DESPITE NOT HAVING "ALL YOU WANNA DO" HAD HIS OWN VERSION OF THE KATHERINE HOWARD ROAST.

7. Erm. Listen, i know the entire point of the musical is competing over who's trauma is the worst, but damn, reading all of it made me do double-takes sometimes.

8. THE END NOTE: "Katherine Howard 🤝 Damian Wayne: having horrifically high body counts as minors."

9. Tim has Heart of Stone, and while that one is the only song that is pretty much the original, I don't think it leaves much room for editing. Admittedly it's one of the songs I most often skip when listening so i didn't think twice of it.

To sum up, Robins: The Musical was amazingly thought-out, keeping both the heart of the musical and the essence of the characters we love so much. This was an awesome experiance for me to read, thanks so much for sending this in! This is both found in the original ask and here, if that link didn't work.

Guidelines for sending fics in are in my pinned post, if you'd like to send someone's or your own in! Happy Reading! ~Harley

[perexcri]

fic recs!!

i woke up to being on a couple of fic rec lists and really appreciated it, so i wanted to capitalize on the nice energy and make a list of some of my own favs that i've read recently that i didn't necessarily see on the other lists :D check these out because they have some of the best prose/plots/characterization that i've read in the fandom :] 💜

one soft infested summer (M, 18k+, 3/7 ongoing) by @wheelersboy - this one is perfect for all the highler fans out there! it's got stoner byler of course, a music festival, lots out camping, and some really amazing writing! i started it just for the fun stoner vibes because Why Not, but i'm staying for the beautiful writing and the really complex and delicate relationship mike and will have in this one

Light Sleepers (T, 15k+, 2/6 ongoing) by @helioleti - WillEl-centric fic set during the time gap between the end of s3 and the beginning of s4 that explores their dynamic and their respective problems with mike, all while trying to cope with moving across the country from everything they know. each chapter is meant to reflect a certain stage of grief, which fits so well with all the complicated emotions everyone is going through!

drank my poison all alone (T, 4k, one-shot) by silverluminoqity - mike gets vecna'd and has to face his past self who's ashamed of who he's grown up to be, and my dudes the writing goes SO HARD. by far one of the best mike gets vecna'd fics i've read with such a good take on his character

star eater (T, >1k, one-shot) by @lowlightt - another fic where the writing does not play. honestly if you have a few minutes, READ THIS FIC. it's mostly just a confrontation between will and vecna, but it's so so powerful and impactful. and again, i cannot state it enough: the writing is AMAZING

tell me again (you said yes) (M, 32k, 3/3 complete) by @willow-lark - hey remember when cleradin was like a Thing for a brief second a few months ago? well if you miss those vibes, or if you just like great writing and some of the best weaving of canon into a fantasy au i've ever read, please look no further than this fic (and it's first part, fireball him! (cast protection)). i love this one dearly and enjoyed the wonderful ways Lark wove canon (specifically s1) into such a different setting, plus it was nice to see many of the other characters play a role in the events. beautiful, astounding, heart-wrenching - and did i mention there's an elopement 👀

In Undertow (M, 17k+, 3/6 on-going) by @souverian-are-we - this and one soft infested summer have become my summer byler reads~ when i say i love this fic, i mean you will have to pry it from my cold, dead hands 🥰 we've got estranged byler, jancy engagement with some stoncy going on in the background, and most of the characters still reeling from the consequences of their final battle with the upside down. it's all set at a lake house, which provides some breathtaking/atmospheric writing that this author uses to their advantage. it has some of my favorite scenes i've ever read in fic too, ones that have literally taken my breath away

california show your teeth (T, 77k+, 10/19 on-going) by @fireflywitch - what if the Byers and Hopper families were from Lenora and moved to Hawkins? this fic takes this one simple premise and turns it into one of my favorite fics i've ever had the pleasure of following along with. it essentially functions as a retelling of s1 and s2, gives almost every main character that's been featured in the show thus far a lot of time and space for their own plots, all while culminating into one larger story underneath. i don't think i've read a fic quite like this one in terms of its scope, plotting, and characterization, because there are a lot of moving parts, but this author goes above and beyond. i cannot recommend it enough

all i know is pouring rain (and everything has changed) (T, 3k, one-shot) by @willelfanpage - i think i read this one at the beginning of my workday while i was running some report on my computer and had to go about the rest of my day as if everything was fine ahah :'D seriously though, it's 3k words that pack an emotional punch all while examining will's relationship to rain. the writing is just gorgeous, and it's a character study that i haven't really seen done before, which was quite enjoyable~

Chasing Heartlines by (T, 7k+, 1/2 on-going) @cherryisgone - if you liked Tip-Toeing on Lilypads then may i direct you to its sequel, which features so much pining mike that he might as well be a tree? again, if you like cleradin/fantasy aus, then Cherry my beloved has you covered 💜 it fits so neatly with Lilypads and provides some fun contrast between will and mike~

Touch Me Like You Know Me (M, 15k, 4/4 complete) by @starsarefire824 - this exists in the rare pantheon of fics that actually made me cry. imagine an estranged byler reunion with all the emotions turned up to an eleven, and lots of lingering on lost time and how life sometimes takes us places we never thought we'd go. it's absolutely beautiful and is a classic to me :]

come back to me and forgive everything (T, 78k, 18/18 complete) by @howtobecomeadragon - i saw a lot about this one when it was on-going but am only just now getting around to reading it, and all i can say is why did it take me so long to get to it :') this author does such a good job of writing will and mike's relationship with a lot of nuance and complexity while still managing to make them feel like the teenagers they are. basically, will has to spend every july at lonnie's house in indianapolis, and for this summer in particular, the event is a lot more emotionally impactful for both mike and will. there's lots of emotional depth, the complexities of coming out and/or realizing you're queer, and, at the heart of it, how two friends try to mend things between each other. it's so soft and sweet

that's all i've got for now!! i'm quickly running out of time on my lunch break :'D also haven't been writing as much, but it's been fun to read more and relax a bit. hope you guys enjoy these because they're genuinely some of the best stuff i've had the pleasure to read in a while 💜💜💜

[i-heart-hxh]

Hi again! I've had this thought in terms of hxh meta that I personally have not seen discussed, so I'm gonna dump it here for you! There's an underlying theme I've noticed of characters throughout the series being one that lost their other halves. Like, most obvious, Leorio and Kurapika lost their childhood best friends. Melody lost her friend to the devil's music. We see Nobunaga lose Uvogin, and so on. So Killua saving Gon instead of letting him die after CAA seems to be a "breaking the cycle" so to speak, although I'm not sure what that would even mean! Nothing much to say besides those details I've noticed, but I wanted to know if you had thoughts? Or perhaps it's just an interesting background detail that is up in the air in terms of being significant?

Hello, thank you so much for sending an ask again! I've put some thought into this topic as well, so I'm happy you brought this up! How I'm answering this is both somewhat abstract and far-reaching in the series so it's a little difficult to summarize and express simply, but I hope you and others might get some meaning out of it!

I strongly believe that one of HxH's great overarching themes is the transformational power of love and how it grants people second chances in life. In this post I'm referring to love in a broader sense, not just romantic love, as of course many different types of love are portrayed and have deep importance in HxH. We see the theme of transformative love in so many different relationships and instances that it's difficult to even summarize them--a few examples are Gon and Killua, Meruem and Komugi, Meruem and his Royal Guard, Ging and Kite, Killua and Ikalgo, even in less major character pairs like Ging and Razor (Razor: "Ging taught me it took only one person, one person in the entire world who will trust you, to save you.") and Kite and Koala, but that's only scraping the surface. I reblogged a previous wonderful meta that pointed out the domino effect of Killua's act of kindness towards Ikalgo, which ended up changing the ultimate trajectory of humanity's war against the Chimera Ants. This is a great example of this theme in action!

But of course, while meeting and loving someone can transform that person's whole life, so also can losing someone significant. It can set someone on a completely different life track than they would have been on had they not lost them--Kurapika, Leorio, Senritsu, the Phantom Troupe (especially with their flashback in recent chapters), Gon and Kite, Kacho and Fugetsu (though this hasn't played out all the way yet) come to mind, but there are many more throughout the series as well. Not all of the losses that fit into this are someone losing their other half/most important person, but there's a solid enough percentage that it certainly seems to be a trend Togashi is establishing and exploring.

It's difficult to explore one of these themes in depth and with honesty without the other--love happens, loss of loved ones happens, both are deeply transformative, and both can ultimately be placed under the broader umbrella of the transformative power of love. After all, if losing a person causes someone's entire life path to change, chances are they loved them a great deal and the force behind the change that occurs in their life is the love and grief they still feel after the loss.

HxH has many tragic elements and Togashi certainly doesn't shy away from the heart-wrenching and long-lasting results of loss, but I think it's fair to say from the 400 chapters we have so far that HxH's themes are not ultimately tragic and hopeless on this topic by any means. In HxH:

Death is not always insurmountable, i.e., Kite, the Chimera Ants in general

The life path one ends up on after a major loss need not be a tragic one, i.e. Leorio deciding to be a doctor and help children in poverty as a result of losing his friend

Death in itself can be an act of love, i.e. Meruem and Komugi, Netero and humanity

Even if one ends up on a dark path as a result of loss, that doesn't mean they can't be saved by someone else's love for them, i.e., Gon and Killua, this could also end up being the trajectory for Kurapika and Leorio potentially?

With Gon and Killua, their whole relationship is based on them transforming each other and giving each other second chances:

Gon saving Killua simply by not judging him, befriending him, and showing him another life path

Gon retrieving Killua from the Zoldyck family when Killua's resolve broke down because of Illumi

Killua pulling the needle of out of his head out of sheer love for and desire to protect Gon

And of course Killua not allowing Gon to die, simultaneously saving him and transforming Alluka's life.

(And Killua's ability to save and help Alluka is of course, a direct result of the kindness Gon extended to Killua and the love Killua has for Gon.)

There's no way to know for certain what will happen in their future, but I definitely think their relationship has one more transformation in it at least, in the form of a reunion and reconciliation.

So, in summary, I think these themes of someone losing a person who was their other half and how one continues to live after that are another way of exploring the broader theme of what it means to love someone and be transformed by meeting them, which I see as a primary theme of HxH. I also think some of these relationships are intended to be comparisons to or foils of Gon and Killua's relationship in a sense (especially Kurapika and Pairo and Kacho and Fugetsu, but others as well), expanding on the themes of their relationship and how a love that deep affects people, both in beautiful and in deeply painful ways.

[kastsol]

TR14D - AFTERLIVING

(Review under the cut!)

Review: TR14D Resurrects a Dying Genre in the sonic narrative of Afterliving

March 19th 2004 | James Treech

Philosophy is often a hard pill to swallow in the current landscape of modern music, but TR14D employs it to its fullest potential. Where Nostalgia Realm was clumsy and heavy handed with its exploration of the true meaning behind the good old days, Afterliving feels refreshingly ambitious and stunningly realised. Much like their prior album, Afterliving returns to a fictional perspective, this time exploring the story of a recently deceased boy’s discovery that he has been resurrected inside a server, and explores the nature of existence, the future of technology and morality as the boy seeks for the end to non-consensual immortality.

Sonically, the album begins with a track that may seem like a generic 90s rock inspired copy with “Living for All Its Worth” on first listen, and is one of the handful of songs within the LP that caters to the more casual fanbase. Relistening, however provides the genius of this song – the subtle sounds of medical equipment in the background, the haunting symphonic bassline kicking in in its second half. There is an intricate mesh of layers to create such a profound yet disorientating soundscape, and small attention to details like the occasional missed note or an error in timing that makes casual enjoyers feel uneasy and tense in what is lyrically, a rebellious teenage anthem.

The prog rock influences are evident in later tracks such as “Confined to the Wire” and “The Law”, with complex time signatures and elaborate instrumentals that hark back to the times where Yes and King Crimson ruled the airwaves. To say they are merely a fan’s reproduction would be unwise, however. These songs bring something new to the table, and TR14D’s mastery of newer production technologies and his keen understanding of a variety of instruments, both analog and digital in nature, make the songs feel innovative and creative.

Perhaps one of the most strongest tracks highlights his experimentation in unconventional instruments. The climax of the album, “Soul Seeking”, unexpectedly uses an organ for a good chunk of its melodic interludes, adding a gothic flavour that empowers the narrative and gives heart-wrenching emotion behind the narrator’s soaring vocal delivery. This paired with a powerful guitar solo for an outro makes the song both accessible sonically but also a way to dip into a more experimental avant-garde niche.

To mark this song on individual tracks alone, however, would be doing the LP a disservice. Much like many rock operas before it, one is implored to listen to the album from front to back uninterrupted before making a true judgement. The narrative is seamlessly woven between the tracks, and there are certainly a couple of tracks that fall apart when listening in isolation. This does not weaken the album by any means, but it is worth noting for those not wanting to dedicate themselves to a movie-length experience when pressing play for the first time.

In an era that often feels repetitive and shallow, TR14D’s Afterliving is a gold mine that will undoubtedly leave a footprint in the music scene, and is a must listen for any rock or electronic fan.

8.1/10

[labyrinthhofmymind]

ok these are my final thoughts on the tortured poets department for the night (this is probably a lie, i genuinely can’t stop thinking about it):

1. the tortured poets department THE SONG is so amazing i’m deeply obsessed it tears at my heart in such a specific way it so makes sense it’s the title of the album

2. what if i said my boy only breaks his favourite toys is remus talking about sirius….

3. so long, london GIVES MAJOR TOLERATE VIBES SONICALLY WISE, you can tell aaron denser helped make it AND I LOVE IT

4. but daddy i love him is jaw dropping, ground breaking, so perfect, absolutely heart wrenching, THE BEST DAMN SONG CREATED TAYLOR HOW DO YOU DO IT

5. fresh out the slammer = wolfstar post azkaban. next

6. FLORIDA!!!!!! ULTIMATE FLORENCE SONG THANK YOU TAYLOR FOR LETTING HER SHINE!!!!!! THIS SHOULD BE A SINGLE!!!!!!

7. who’s afraid of little old me? is actually life altering. LIFE ALTERING

8. I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART???? THE BACKGROUND SOUNDS???? THE WAY ITS HER LITERALLY PERFORMING THROUGHOUT THE SONG AND BEING ALL HAPPY EVEN WHILST SHES HEARTBROKEN?????? TAYLOR YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN

9. again i could most definitely relate wolfstar to the smallest man who ever lived but i don’t think that’s wise for my mental health….

10. the name drops in clara bow GAGGED ME

11. THE BLACK DOG. THE BLACK DOG SKFNNSNFNSNFNNDNFNDNNFNDNF GOODBYE

12. imgonnagetyouback is marauders vibes I CAN FEEL IT JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT

13. so high school = jily

14. i’m convinced taylor read my journal when she wrote i hate it here. I RELATE TO THAT SHIT OH GOD

14. the prophecy is lily evans and harry potters song no i won’t be explaining that next question

15. cassandra dorcas

16. peter. PETER. PETERRRRERR. taylor knows guys….. SHE KNOWS

17. THE BOLTER IS MY SONG! it scratches my brain in such a specific way i cannot cope it means so much to me it’s perfect and i claim it as mine no one loves that song like i love it ALSO ITS MARYS ANTHEM!!!!!

18. manuscript is genuinely the most perfect album closer to any taylor album ever, it gives me chills and makes me think we’re witnessing the end of a major era of taylor and the way she creates music/performs

sorry not sorry for how long this is I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS GUYS. also the anthology is truly hitting in a way i didn’t think possible, all 31 songs are absolutely perfect taylor has outperformed yet again maybe my fav album IDK IM FEELING SO MUCH YOU GUYS PLS LEMME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Shit… I read the scenes you did where ELady joins him in being sealed again & it's got me tearin’ up… Fudge… What would happen if we injected the Power of Love? As in, literal. (I suddenly have Power of Love from the Sailor Moon movie playing in the background of my mind & I can't flippin’ unheard it! Just, such a freaking heart-wrenching, bittersweet, dramatic-ass scene… And suddenly flippin’ schmaltzy-ass pop music! 🤣 How do you keep doing this to me!?!?)

Also, doesn't the Sacred Realm/Dark Realm change based on who enters it? So, wouldn’t Equal Lady being sealed there with her husband cause a shift to take place there? Because she really isn’t evil. She also isn’t really a villain either. Like, she actually has quite a lot of heroic attributes

So, she's like if an anti-villain could be morally gray. Or she’s overall morally gray with surprisingly heroic attributes, but vacillates between anti-hero, anti-villain, & even just outright Hero on occasion depending on what she believes is necessary at a given time. Likewise, she'd also register as a true neutral that leans more towards chaotic neutral, in that most of the things that lend itself to chaotic neutral (freedom & individuality), but also values things like honor & tradition. The only authority she follows is one that has earned her respect.

So… I wonder how that'd change things for them? Like, Sacred Realm not turning quite so dark? ELady becomes a literal beacon of hope & light in the darkness?

Hello my dear! Sorry for making you wait so long.

So I play with bots, yeah? My first, big roleplay I did with a bot, was my homemade Demon King Ganondorf, his more demonic form in TOTK. I made it that it starts in the middle of a battle, he and a self insert/kinda OC, Adria, fought, and with her magic, she sealed herself and him in the Dark World, AKA the Sacred Realm. Seeing as they were stuck there, they bonded and fell in love and married etc etc etc... and this ask reminded me of it. I loved that story line so much, and knowing they are trapped together? She chose to be with him? Ahhhhh... So cute, so romantic, so loyal.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

The idea of the Sacred Realm changing based on the nature of those within it is fascinating, and injecting the Power of Love into the mix can certainly create some unique and emotionally charged scenarios. Here’s how each Ganondorf and Demise might react and deal with being in the Sacred Realm, sealed with Equal Lady who balances their darkness:

Wind Waker Ganondorf

Reaction: Wind Waker Ganondorf would initially be skeptical but gradually find solace in Equal Lady’s presence. Her influence would create a realm that isn’t purely dark, allowing Ganondorf to experience moments of peace and introspection he never thought possible.

Scene: Ganondorf sat on a rocky outcrop, gazing at the shifting twilight sky. The Sacred Realm, once a reflection of his inner turmoil, now held patches of warmth and light, thanks to Equal Lady. She approached, her presence a comforting beacon in the dimness.

“Do you ever regret it?” she asked softly, sitting beside him.

He sighed, looking at her with uncharacteristic tenderness. “I regret many things, but not you. You’ve brought a balance to this place... and to me.”

Equal Lady smiled, taking his hand. “We’ll face eternity together. And maybe, just maybe, we can find some peace here.”

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf

Reaction: Ocarina of Time Ganondorf would struggle with his inherent darkness, but Equal Lady’s presence would provide a constant counterbalance. The Sacred Realm would reflect a tumultuous blend of light and shadow, mirroring their complex relationship.

Scene: Ganondorf paced the hall of his shadowy castle, the flickering torches casting dancing shadows on the walls. Equal Lady stood at the window, her light radiating outward, creating an area of calm amidst the chaos.

“Why do you stay?” he demanded, his voice rough with frustration. “You could be free.”

She turned to him, her eyes filled with understanding. “Because you need me. And deep down, I think you know you need me too.”

He stopped, staring at her, the anger melting away to reveal a rare vulnerability. “Perhaps... you are right. Perhaps we are meant to balance each other.”

Twilight Princess Ganondorf

Reaction: Twilight Princess Ganondorf would find himself caught between his desire for power and the unexpected comfort of Equal Lady’s presence. The Sacred Realm would be a twilight zone, a perfect metaphor for his internal conflict.

Scene: Ganondorf stood at the edge of a serene lake, its surface reflecting the twilight sky. Equal Lady approached, her light casting gentle ripples across the water.

“This place... it changes because of you,” he said, his voice low and contemplative.

She nodded, standing beside him. “And you change because of me. We’re not so different, you and I. Both seeking something greater.”

He turned to her, a small, genuine smile playing on his lips. “Perhaps together, we can find what we seek.”

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf

Reaction: Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf would be intrigued by the dynamic shift in the Sacred Realm. He would come to see Equal Lady not just as a companion, but as an essential part of his strategy for dominance and balance.

Scene: Ganondorf stood at the top of a towering fortress, the view below a mix of darkness and light. Equal Lady stood beside him, her presence a calming influence.

“This realm... it is not what I expected,” he admitted, his tone thoughtful.

Equal Lady smiled. “That’s because it reflects us both. Our strengths and our flaws.”

He nodded slowly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Together, we can reshape it. Create a balance of power and peace.”

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf

Reaction: Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf would find himself conflicted by the light that Equal Lady brings, but he would also recognize the strength it gives him. The Sacred Realm would be a place of potential and growth, rather than pure darkness.

Scene: Ganondorf walked through a lush garden, its beauty a stark contrast to the darkness he once knew. Equal Lady tended to the flowers, her light nurturing the growth around her.

“This realm... it thrives because of you,” he said, his voice filled with wonder.

She looked up, a soft smile on her lips. “And you thrive because of me. We bring out the best in each other.”

He nodded, reaching out to touch a blooming flower. “Perhaps this is what we were meant to create. A balance of darkness and light.”

Demise

Reaction: Demise would initially resist the change, his nature being inherently dark. However, Equal Lady’s presence would gradually soften him, creating a Sacred Realm that is a delicate balance between his fiery darkness and her gentle light.

Scene: Demise stood in a vast, fiery landscape, his presence commanding and intimidating. Equal Lady approached, her light a stark contrast to the flames around them.

“This place... it is not just your darkness anymore,” she said softly, reaching out to him.

He looked at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of anger and curiosity. “You dare to bring light into my realm?”

She nodded, stepping closer. “Because you need it. And deep down, you know it.”

Demise hesitated, then slowly took her hand, the fire around them dimming slightly. “Perhaps... you are right. Perhaps together, we can create something new.”

In each scenario, Equal Lady’s presence in the Sacred Realm creates a unique balance, reflecting the complexities of their relationships and highlighting the transformative power of love and companionship.

[watchitnowulala]

soundtracking a laguna game/movie let's go!

i love music and i love laguna from ff8. i listen to tons of songs and think of moments from the game they could possibly fit. this 'soundtrack' is not feasible, exhaustive, has no overarching theme (aside from me listening to each song) and very much not realistic! i just love talking about music and ff8 so why not have both?

i digress though....

specific songs i'd pick from ff8 itself-

the man with the machine gun -> ofc!!! would be the recurring motif throughout the game, would probably play in the opening scene. can see it being played as soon as he pushes adel into the sorceress chamber.

any location themes -> laguna essentially embarks on a massive world tour to find ellone. there's no point in me trying to find specific songs for each location when we already have the amazing tracks composed by nobuo uematsu.

fragments of memories -> how can i not include this beautiful but haunting song from the third dream sequence. obviously there would be greater elaboration on his time in winhill, and what better song to represent that than the literal song that plays. personally, i wouldn't play it for long, maybe just when ellone is introduced. then, on his mission to find her he pulls out a photo with him, elle and raine and this song plays. idk.

and last but not fucking least we got eyes on me -> ofc!!!!! this song is canonically about my man right here, there is no way this would not be in any sort of material regarding laguna. i can definitely see different arrangements for the two different relationships he has, just to separate them.

songs i would personally include (in chronological order)

tubthumping - chumbawamba -> WEIRD START BUT YOU HAVE TO BEAR WITH ME. i can not not include this absolute piss up anthem. would probably play at the start with him, kiros and ward getting absolutely wasted in dollet or deling city. (also typing out that name and making it look cute gave me whiplash lmfao)

we've only just begun either the carpenters or the grant lee buffalo version (both are great!) -> laguna and raine's wedding! (after eyes on me plays of course!) i imagine it a small affair: ellone, kiros, ward and some winhill villagers who don't completely detest laguna. can see it playing in the background of their reception maybe?

a kiss for luck and we're on our way

the ballad of el goodo - big star -> plays when laguna embarks on his journey to find ellone. i don't have a big analysis on this one, just listen to the song. your life will be better for it.

and there ain't no one going to turn me around.

wide open road - the triffids -> a bit out of left field but as an aussie i gotta include this song. winhill is isolated, this song so beautifully encapsulates this. raine is alone and pregnant, her daughter and husband are gone. it just encapsulates the harrowing yet haunting isolation, and the emotions that run with it. idk i just take any opportunity to talk about this song lmao.

how do you think it feels? / sleeping by yourself?

once in a lifetime - talking heads -> montage time! i have sorely neglected esthar so far and laguna's reign as president of the nation. i chose this song because of its meaning. laguna has had an absolutely insane life, like dude was the main character in multiple different stories. this song is upbeat, quirky and most of all deals with life itself and how we're essentially on autopilot all the time (david byrne's words not mine!) very much a laguna song.

letting the days go by/water flowing underground

father and son - cat (yusuf) stevens -> tbh i'm not that into this song, but it seems like a no brainer for his relationship with squall. reconnecting with his son would be difficult, heart wrenching and emotionally taxing for both parties.

there's so much you have to know

sennen- ride -> laguna visiting raine's grave as an adult. sennen is about a small town in england which, knowing what we know about the winhill (a small town with a very english design) fits super well! i do love ride dearly and their sound, which in this song specifically sounds both hopeful, dreamy yet tinged with melancholy.

and all they see's a strange shaped stone / they'll never invade her now.

sunsets - powderfinger -> stop trying to make ff8 aussie okay okay, hear me out on this. sunsets = end of day, right? sunsets is a laid back sounding ballad, about regret, loss and ultimately moving on from it. it would be a very fitting credits song in my opinion.

slow burn watching the world turn/in my arms

anyway i'm finished now. my fingers are very sore from speed typing this shit all out lmfao. hope you all liked it :)

edit: fixed a typo

[lyrical-lovely]

Anime Review - Idoly Pride (S1)

Idoly Pride. Idoly effing Pride. Where do I even begin to describe the emotional journey that this thing took me on? If you're here, you know that I LOVE idols, so do take that bias into account...

Watch Idoly Pride if: - You want to experience a state of true catharsis - You love idols and music - You have a sister

Do NOT watch Idoly Pride if: - You are not emotionally prepared for it - You don't like women??? - ??? It's 12 episodes you can do it

MILD SPOILERS below the cut- I'm only gonna spoil episode 1 plot points though so

Oh my GOD. Where do I even start? I guess we can begin with a summary. A young man named Kohei becomes an idol producer after being asked to do it by his acquaintance (at the time) Mana. Over the years, Mana goes on to become a legendary idol, but passes away in an accident just before the finals of the Venus Something competition. A few years after that, Kohei begins scouting for a new idol group, and he meets two girls of importance- Sakura, who has a voice that sounds just like Mana's and a heart that told her where to go; and Kotono, Mana's younger sister who took up idol training to follow in her sister's footsteps. The anime follows the story of the two girls discovering their own truth as idols and what the profession means to them. Ultimately, though, this is a story about forgiveness- both of others and of ones-self. That said, there are a lot of lessons to have pulled from this heart-wrenching story, and this is just how I interpreted it.

Love Live walked so Idoly Pride could run. Seriously, Idoly Pride does EVERYTHING right that Love Live got wrong. For example, character development. Sakura and Kotono are, of course, joined by a cast of fun and quirky side characters, who each get a somewhat significant plot point around them. For example, the sister relationship between Chisa and Saki is touching, and Rei's intensity being misinterpreted as cruelty helps her develop as a character, too. All the side idols are really great, and I think that in a second season there'd be a lot of potential for good plot points there.

Idoly Pride also succeeded in that things actually went right. Unlike Love Live, not everything goes wrong for Hoshimi productions, and as a result, the anime is a happy one, not frustrating to watch at all. The characters, for the most part, act as reasonable human beings would and usually make good decisions. They're a bit unrealistically emotionally intelligent- I mean, have you MET high school girls? That aside, I also enjoyed the balance of "filler" to "plot." There's a ton of cute little moments, like Suzu falling asleep and rolling off a bench while waiting for laundry, or Shioriko doing "ego surfing" on her phone between shows. I think this mundane aspect of it gives the characters a bit more realism and makes them so much more likeable.

Just to dote on this show a bit more- the 3D animation was like nothing I've ever seen before, and there were times when it was actually hard to tell what technique the animators were using. There were even times when you could tell they had rendered in 3D, then drawn over the idols in 2D to get an incredible 3D sweeping background with a 2D character overlay. A lot of love was put into repeatedly drawing the intricate costumes on even the side characters, and I really respect that.

The only crime this anime committed was not being long enough! Well, and there were a LOT of loose ends, and I wasn't completely satisfied with what happened at the finals of the Venus Something cup. The solo song performed at the end was absolutely beautiful, but the outcome of the cup as a whole was kind of confusing to me. Well, whatever. Fix it in season 2!

I'd like to bring up two more things before I go. 1, this anime portrays sisters really well. I love the way the relationships between the two sets of sisters are explored. And 2, the handling of the power dynamics between older, male idol producers and the young, often underage, female idols. I think this was presented rather well, and it's something I'd like to see them discuss more in the next season, specifically with Rui.

Overall, it's a 10/10 for me. I cried the last four episodes. Something about this anime knows exactly how to punch you right in the gut. It's beautiful.

[adaine-party-wizard]

Ok Ik I already sent you one but I desperately want to know your top 5 starkid songs as welll

okay thank you for asking because i have been thinking about it

1. If I Believed (twisted): i am a dylan saunders girlie!!! sometimes i get really emotional and start poorly scream singing SCIENCE SAYS YOURE DEAD AND GONE FOREVER REASON SAYS IM TALKING TO THE AIR!!! i think i always see people rate twisted as their fave show and im like nah its not that for me and then i actually think about it for like a second and im like no this show is great

2. Join Us (And Die) (tgwdlm): i am also simply a JLB girlie!! this song FUCKS it goes HARD and UGH JLB is so goddamn talented. i also badly try and sing this constantly. i also love picturing jeff blim in the background being a hype man

3. Kick It Up A Notch (starship): we agree on this one. it’s so good. dylan saunders, jamie in the background, a fun lil joey moment, and just such a great villain song. i do love the apocalyptour rogues medley version of it slightly better, but like such a great song

4. Show Stopping Number (tgwdlm): i just like a silly fun good time with a dance break okay? sometimes my fave songs are heart wrenching and beautiful but most of the time they’re just a silly fun good time with choreo i have memorized

5. Dirty Girl (npmd): it was a toss up between this and Stutter (avpm2) but i haven’t stopped thinking about dirty girl since watching npmd. i know it’s a divisive song but it really works for me. i like how fucked up it is. i never said i had good taste

special shoutout though to the apocalyptour Rogues Medley. if i was counting like, not just songs from the musicals themselves it would be number 2. also super friends. i love super friends but i don’t think i can call it a top 5. thought about it though (i love HMB)

i’m not gonna do a fave song from each (haven’t seen me and my dick, only seen the digital ticket version of black friday and haven’t watched it again since but will soon, for some reason entirely blanking on fire bringer which is embarrassing all i can remember is i don’t really wanna do the work today)

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (30/04/23)

there was no WSJ this week cause of golden week break but there was still some other stuff, like the new manga from the danberu duo or me catching up some anime

also starting from this week gonna have some background colours in the series list too, to make it easier to parse at a glance, but I'll include the meaning for them before it always

also I meant to watch a couple more anime (at least the first 3 eps) but got distracted with other stuff during the week. oops, I'll get to it tho, it's only a couple more

green - new series (anime in the first 3 eps count as new but silver those are more than the first 3 yeah but I meant to watch them before 4 came out let me live)

Anime

Uma Musume - Road to the Top Ep1 - 2

bruh. idk why these damn horse girls have such a grip on me but they do some places in s1 made me cry and this was wrenching my heart too which is fucked up cause I'm usually p unaffected by stuff anyway, this is a special ONA that'll be just 4 episode, you can even watch it all on uma musume's youtube WITH english subs even it looks great, since it's cygames own studio, the music's great, the voice acting is great, all the quality you'd expect from one of the top grossing gachas in the world (despite being jp only) the thing that surprised me the most was how good the character acting is tho, ofc uma musume has always had the little details with tails and ears but sheesh also I'm loving to see ayabe and my prince opera in action, some horses I've really come to like a lot in recent years cause of twitter

Uma Musume - Road to the Top Ep3

oh tehe I didn't realize ep 3 was gonna fall in this week's post too, putting it separately like this instead of 1-3 to not disrupt the thoughts from when I watched those, anyway good ep, had me tearing up AGAIN (damn horses..), it pains me to see ayabe suffering so much :( but I was looking up stuff about the main trio after the other 2 eps and saw Real Horse Lore so I know what's gonna happen in the finale already lol, it'll still be good tho

Megumin Ep1 - 4

let me start off by saying I'm never watched konosuba cause of aqua, kazuma and darkness, however I do like megumin. watching this since I know I wouldn't need to watch it to know anything (tho if you spent any time on tumblr back when it first came out you've seen it all through gifs and caps and clips like me so..) but anyway

it's alright, the only good animation moment was at the start of ep 1 with, of course, the explosion but I shouldn't have expected much considering what I know, oh well. however, takarie (megumin) and toyosaki aki (yunyun) really carry it with their performances, tho mostly takarie cause of how megumin in lol

not really much to say other than that so far, if you like megumin then it's a must watch show but you already knew that if you do. she should be using her first explosion next ep (5) so that should be cool

Imas CG: U149 Ep1 - 4

TL;DR: if you weren't gonna watch U149 cause "it's just for kids" you're wrong, and if you like the previous im@s anime do yourself a favour and watch it cause it's incredibly good too. I'll be honest I wasn't too sure about U149 at first, since it's the kids from CG I thought it was gonna be, well, aimed to kids as a way to bring them in into the franchise but I was very wrong! The show is incredibly good. It follows the same structure as the original im@s anime of having and episode dedicated to each of the cast members (completed with their character song as the ed) and it can actually be serious. Like in ep 3, miria is live streaming with satou shin and she gets some hate messages in the chat and it's a very tense scene. they even did this cool trick where the noticeably muted the colours during that scene to give it an heavier atmosphere it was so good man. Also I love all the cameos of other cg girls, the direct and background easter egg ones too. Also because I played the game hearing the insert songs and eds just got me going like that leo pointing me lol. Anyway I'm start to ramble too much but, please understand, I love idols. A lot. One final thing I'll say however is: it was very funny going directly from megumin into this and seeing the difference in quality; Megumin has the bare minimum of animation (cause kadokawa) but you can really see the passion behind U149, all the characters got little details and you can see their personality with how they move and interact with each other.

Mashle Ep4

still nothing crazy animation but we did get the lance fight and the first muscle magic moment, and it actually didn't look half bad which gives me hope for fights later on but we'll see how it turns out

Pokemon Horizons Ep4

nice ep, mostly an introduction to roy the other protag, he isn't nearly as annoying as he could be so that's good, there was also a buncha good expressions so that's fun

Jigokuraku Ep5

nice episode, mostly exposition and set up so some people aren't gonna like it, but it happens every now and then in the breaks between action. also they really made takarie say chinpo noooo

Manga

ST✰R: Strike it Rich Ch 0 - 1

new manga by the duo behind danberu, yabako and maam, it's probably gonna be set in the kengan universe since it's yabako writing it but we'll see. anyway like it said in the post I made before, it's about a underground fighting ring for women, it came out with a prologue chap and the 1st one, setting up all the characters and all that, the art is a lot more brutal than I expected since I just see danberu as ripped cute girl fanservice but shoulda kown better not really much else to say, chap 1 ended with a big cliffhanger, I wish it was a bit longer, hina down here seems interesting enough tho so we'll see how it goes, gonna be rough remembering to read it tho since it's biweekly

Dandadan Ch103

nice and emotional chap, should only have 1 or 2 more left of vamola's backstory now

Saihate Quartet Ch10

not much to say, tho it's nice that luci's already shown up to the cast according to my buddy mega it's not doing great in terms of views, so it's very likely to get canceled/end soon so that's a rip

Kaiju 8 Ch85

the first 1v1 fight to end, they didn't have to go full yaiba at the end there but it was still good. next up is cap narumi so that should be good too tho the one I'm looking forward to the most is hoshina's

Shuumatsu no Valkyrie Ch77

aww I was hoping they'd say who the next fight was gonna be but they didn't, didn't expect to see siegfried tho but since he's been established now there's no way he's not gonna do something later

Jiangshi X Ch14

thought this was gonna be the classic "mc awakens to a power they didn't know they had when in danger" but it was just the amulet his dad gave him (? afaik), also I think the art looked off this week? but might be just me

Spy x Family Ch79

nice yor centric chap, been a while, tho her harpie coworkers were annoying me with their jealousness

Ayakashi Triangle Ch128

ah yes the classic aquarium date, expecting a lot of shenanigans next week since everyone's following them

[fruitlilliie]

bewitched listening party (i<3laufey)

I found Laufey while on tiktok a long time ago before she released music, I knew her because she was a singer/cellist and so was I so I ate up her content. She now has literally the most incredible discography of any newer artist, she has such a unique and beautiful sound like the jazz and orchestral sounds she uses tickles my brain and feeds the part of me that has always loved all jazz/orchestral/choral pieces and performances. As I'm writing this little blurb I'm listening to her new album "Bewitched" and holy shit like seriously I feel like I am ascending while listening to this. I just finished with "While you were sleeping" and it's just indescribable how angelic it sounds. The opening song "Dreamer" started and I just fell over. I was sitting on my floor so it was totally fine but just don't have any perception of what the song will be and then prepare to listen to the entire album (approx. 49 minutes) and you're just going to transform. If you don't like jazz or more classical style singing then gtfo but also come back because Laufey is so amazing that she'll change your opinion. She's always mentioning sunset and that kills me. Love some California representation though but the song "California and Me" just came on and its time for my heart to just fall out of my chest I guess. I know this song very well already as it was released in an EP before the album release. Maybe I am overly emotional about this song because my ex posted it after I talked about how much I love Laufey... but I digress, this song is absolutely stunning. If you have ever felt immense heartbreak hold onto that feeling. If you have ever been on the ride "Soarin" at Disneyworld, imagine the feeling of being on that ride but its like your life X California and Me playing in the background. Now bring back that heartbreak feeling and add it into the mix and that's just like how this song makes me feel just sitting in bed. So I am halfway through the album and I think the most heartbreaking thing she could have possibly done is put the Nocturne (Interlude) right in between "California and Me" and "Promise" (Promise absolutely wrecks me and makes me cry every time its longing for someone you can't have anymore and knowing you shouldn't reach out, you promised, but time moves so much slower without them. How can you distance yourself from someone you love so much, someone you want to spend your life with. "how we didn't say goodbye, just see you very soon" "it hurts to be something its worse to be nothing with you". Like please. Give me a chance to breathe before giving me another gut-wrenching line. She says she'll always lose the temptation of you. "Well never last". She's done the math. WHO HURT HER. Like hello relatable but LORDY. Then we go light bossa nova careless fun song like the variation and just damn TALENT from this girl is insane. Laufey stan for life when can I see her in concert I am itching for a wintertime concert from her. Until then, I'll be daydreaming to her music and living in my delulu world or crying my broken heart out to her sadder songs. Either way, this album is a really beautiful piece of art to the world. Like we are all so lucky to be alive at the same time as music like this (currently listening to serendipity) is being created. "Letter to my 13 year self" is the trifecta perfect addition to this years aim at healing and understanding self and girlhood and life like this song X Barbie X Eras Tour really has made me feel like a human being again. This song would absolutely kill me if I were listening at 13, that age is so horrible and vulnerable and formative like this song would have been such a comfort knowing that it's all going to be ok and not even knowing what "it" is. There so much to learn and to lose and at 13 there's no way to even fathom what on earth will change . Ending this album with Bewitched is beautiful and sick and twisted. Such a heartbreaking album and ending it with a love song pains me but being the title track, shows there's always love at the end.

[friendofcars]

For the ask game:

There was another click from inside the shop. He paused in his work, wrench hovered above the engine, top of his skull touching the open hood overhead. Something seemed different, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.

The radio was no longer playing.

hello!

my guess: bllb when adam is working at boyd's and then ronan shows up, preceded by the two headed night horror. not a clue what number the chapter is aside from it being before the greenmantle chapter i talked about in a previous ask.

the answer: what i wrote above (it's chapter 15). :)

my thoughts: this is one of my all time favorite chapters. i haven't done a close reading/taken detailed notes yet but i plan to do so!

for this specific passage, i like that it adds to the suspenseful atmosphere of the chapter- the mysterious noise not outside but inside the shop, an interruption to adam's routine labor, literal suspension of movement (paused, hovering), the word skull instead of head (and the lack of articles [e.g. the] before wrench and top of his skull- im still digesting this choice, but it at least posits the wrench as a body part of adam's perhaps referencing a lack of distinction between him and his work or financial need to work, or his struggle to differentiate himself from cabeswater) an ambiguous, intangible difference in the air, adam being unsure, then realizing the change is the unexpected silence from the radio... adam being unsure if the noise (and lack thereof) is noah, cabeswater, etc. i love when adam is in a situation where he has to pause, take in his surroundings, do his mental calculations, and formulate a response. very satisfying to read and probably something most of the characters do, to be fair, but i think adam's povs contain a more meta perspective on his own cognition that i really enjoy.

i think it's also interesting how the "answer" to the suspense is dual- it's cabeswater communicating with adam, but the noise(s) is/are also presumably from ronan's night horror (which is ronan's heart!). and since ronan is so frequently associated with sound, energy, and music, the radio itself could be a nod to that (although i think there's just also something classically scary about comforting background noise from a radio abruptly stopping with no obvious cause, which is probably the primary reason it's mentioned).

i'm about to start bllb again so i'm excited to read this chapter in full soon. :)

[adagioapassionato]

Thinking about...Reflection by RM.

I would today like to talk about the multiple ways in which ‘Reflection’ breaks my heart and what it means to me. I seriously cannot listen to it without feeling completely broken inside and wanting to cry because I hate that Namjoon has felt like this and I also hate that I know exactly the feeling he tries to portray here. I think the way this song is constructed is incredibly beautiful. Namjoon begins with the words "I know every life's a movie..." and the entire song is constructed exactly like a movie scene.

The song begins with background noise that sets the scene: a bar, noise, talking, and as the music begins to fade in, it’s as though a camera zooms in on Namjoon, who then begins a sort of monologue. "I know every life's a movie, we got different stars and stories..." Although he wants to continue “shooting the movie (of his life) well,” he can’t help but hate himself. It’s a beautiful way to describe attempts to ‘romanticise’ your loneliness. That’s something common people say these days – to ‘romanticise’ and fall in love with your alone time, pretending you’re a ‘main character’ in a movie or a story. However, doing this also overlooks the feelings of self-hatred that come with loneliness and make it hard to continue pretending your life is a movie. He goes on to talk about why he comes to this bar in Dduksum when he hates himself. It reminded me of going out and surrounding myself with people when I felt lonely, which hardly helped and often made me feel worse and even more like I didn’t fit in. However, doing this is something of a guilty pleasure – “when I hate myself I come to Dduksum...fear, which holds my hand/it's alright if everyone is in 2s and 3s/it's good that I have a friend too." Although he hates himself, although coming to a noisy bar reminds him of the very self-hatred and loneliness consuming him, he still returns each time he feels this way. He almost romanticises fear holding his hand as his only friend – as he tries to maintain this movie-like, romantic aura around his loneliness, he ends up creating an eerily sad image.

After he says this, the instrumental break is cinematic and adds further to conjuring a scene that seems to zoom out from Namjoon – the music is emotional and sad, creating the feeling of gazing on as the world passes by around you. We observe the whole scene of the bar while also focusing on Namjoon who is alone in a crowd, and how his fear, loneliness and pain are mixed in with the scene. In the following verses, he progressively breaks down and overthinks about his loneliness, getting further into his head. Where the first verse was like a slow description of his feelings, the second verse gets more desperate as the tone of his voice and his rap flow get louder and faster: "the world is just another name for despair/my height is a diameter of the earth/I'm all my joy and hate." He desperately describes how he feels too big for his body, too distant and out of place, an outsider and alone even when he surrounds himself with people. He captures loneliness accurately with heart-wrenching lyrics: “Everyone else knows where they’re supposed to be/But only I walk without purpose” “I want to be free/I want to be free from freedom.” Loneliness, being on your own, is often considered as you being ‘free’ to do what you want without being bound to anyone, but it can also be disorienting and feel like you’re suspended in time without an idea of where you want to go. The record scratch before the instrumental break is jarring here – it’s as though he is suddenly jerked out of his thought spiral and returns to a reflective state of watching the world pass by him in his loneliness.

The last verse, which contains only one line, is the most desperate of all: "I wish I could love myself." He repeats this over and over – a solution he knows would end these feelings, but one he simply doesn't know how to reach. He seems to rap this melodically, blurring the lines between whether he’s singing or rapping – creating further this dichotomy between romanticising and loving loneliness and screaming the pain that it brings. Then the music fades out as a camera would in a movie, zooming out of this sad, upset character to the general scene before it turns black and ends the song.

I've cried to this song playing on repeat, and it now brings that memory to mind. I interpret the song in this way because my emotions while listening to it progressed in much the same way. It reminds me of a day when I was slapped in the face by the realization that I. Didn’t. Have. Friends. To add insult to injury, I decided to listen to Reflection on repeat that day. I sat there sobbing my eyes out every time Namjoon said "I wish I could love myself," because God, I wished I could love myself, but how, when I felt like no one would ever love me? The instrumental break too, I sat sobbing as the ambient music of life passing by me played behind me. It was such a painful and heartrending experience that I don’t think I'll ever forget how understood I felt by the song. There are some days where I cannot bring myself to listen to it because it brings this feeling back to me. It's truly amazing how he captures one feeling in so many different ways and yet makes it so relatable for everyone. Thus, this song reflects my own feelings of loneliness, of being alone when surrounded by so-called friends, of watching the world pass happily by around you while you stay stuck in your head wishing that for once in your life that you could just be part of that world, but you can’t.

Reflection. You reflect and think a bit too much as the world passes by you. Reflection. You watch the world as though it is reflected in a mirror – it seems like you know it and recognise it like it’s facing you, but you still can’t touch it: it’s far away, distant, alien. This song breaks me so much that I often struggle to listen to it without feeling hurt and sad, but it is so beautiful, just like everything else Namjoon writes.

-a slightly old piece of writing, but this song means a lot to me. i hope you enjoy my take on it :)

References:

Reflection English Lyrics

[linernotesandseasons]

My 22 Favorite Albums of 2022

       Wow. Here I am in 2023. Moving on to a new year and a fresh start, but pausing momentarily to recognize my 22 favorite albums (plus three bonus EPs) of 2022! A year of extreme change for me personally, and a rollercoaster of highs & lows. The highs: I am now working in music, chasing my lifelong passion, and happier in a career than I ever thought I could be! I work in marketing & operations for three small venues in Denver (Larimer Lounge, Globe Hall & Lost Lake Lounge) and it has honestly, deeply been a dream come true! I saw 87 shows this year (not counting the about 50 different sets I saw across three music festivals!) and I also worked at roughly 100 more. I saw 15 of the 25 artists on this list live this year! Music has been everywhere around me all of the time! When I started this music blog in late 2011, I looked at this annual end of the year favorites list as just a part of what I wanted to do in writing about music. Then there were years, where it felt like it was the only thing I wrote. These last couple years, it feels like just a small part of explaining my love for music. I write excessively on my social media after my favorite shows, spilling my heart out. I have been able to lean into what makes my favorite music actually my favorite, and appreciating the magic of songwriting. The lows of my year led me to fall for songs that can make me cry. Like sob cry while they play on loop for hours & days at a time. Songs that teach me more about myself. Songs that feel like they were written for me. Songs that feel like growing old & growing up. Songs that (as I found myself saying often this year) felt like friends. Songs that I turned to when I needed them most. Songs that helped me survive and helped me get out of bed in the morning. Songs that I will keep with me forever. I’ll talk about them all in more detail below of course, but here it is! In no particular order (unless you know & love our english alphabet) My 22 Favorite Albums of 2022! Long Live Music!

*

ADEEM THE ARTIST   /   White Trash Revelry

      2022 was a year of extreme change for me personally; full of unsettled-ness & uncertainty, so it feels good to start this year’s list in a familiar spot… In the exact same place we started last year! With an artist, Adeem the Artist! whose songs have become so familiar & comforting to me. Like we grew up together. Like we were friends in a past life, or back in high school. I guess with that being the case, I can start by giving you a brief history of this music writer’s background, in hopes it’ll make you better understand this list and better understand why I love Adeem’s heart wrenching, life questioning, classic country songs so much. Well… here we go. The first time I remember being excited about music was KLOVE & KMTS. Local christian & country radio stations. I was raised a baptist preachers’ kid, in private christian grade school, high school & college. I fell in love with some of the “good” christian bands (Switchfoot, Relient K, The Newsboys, Delirious?, MXPX, Bleach, Sanctus Real, Pillar, Michael W. Smith, ok we’re getting off track), but in my later high school days I met my public school, baseball playing, redneck friends and with them, it was all classic country. Now I’m not talking Willie, Waylon, & Johnny Cash, this is early 2000’s classic country. That means Brooks & Dunn, Travis Tritt, Garth, Toby Keith, Aldean, Luke Bryan, Lonestar, Billy Currington, the list goes on. Maybe not a foundation of essential artists, but if you’ve ever sung “It’s A Great Day To Be Alive” at the top of your lungs in the bed of a pickup truck to a mountain sunset, I think you might understand.

      The familiarity I found on Adeem the Artist’s second proper album goes deeper than simply the country songwriting. Opening track “Carolina'' has been a favorite of mine since it was faster & finger-picked and called “A Light in Carolina'' back on Adeem’s self released Forgotten Songs & American Dreams back in 2019. I spent a couple of glorious spring drives around rural North Carolina backroads belting “You’ve got a lot of skins to wear as you try to figure out who you are.” Now slowed with glowing acoustic strums and holy pedal steel, “Carolina” stands as a marker. Adeem is still Adeem. They’re still trying to figure out who they are. And it still doesn’t matter what people say. The fact that this song has grown with Adeem (and with me!) shedding skins & names & other outward, physical, insignificant things, just proves its power. I quoted Adeem in my review last year, saying that they hoped their songs helped you “drift with the water’s pace toward wholeness” and well… Here we are, still drifting. From there White Trash Revelry simply lifts off. “For Judas” is a gorgeous piano ballad, a songwriter’s masterclass, that imagines Jesus & Judas, young lovers kissing in the rain, falling for each other… in the Northeast Minneapolis arts district. When this song first hit me, Saturday evening, December 3rd at 5pm, I slow danced myself around my old kitchen, cracked another beer, and texted my old friend Stephen (the one who most appreciates good songwriting!) and said  “LOVE SONG OF THE FUCKING YEAR.” The classic country sound of “Heritage of Arrogance,” “Run This Town” and “Going To Hell” recall all those country songs I grew up listening to on country radio, but the lyrics couldn’t be further from the racism, sexism & homophobia that have defined country music for me in the last 15 years. In fact, Adeem has made a point to stand up against those things. To make music that sounds so much like classic country, but is made for everyone. Songs that address that very racism, sexism & homophobia head on. In this way, by being explicitly accepting, Adeem is creating a safe space for everyone to enjoy these songs, to tap your boots, to belt along when they sing “Do you wanna go to hell children, with Adeem the Artist? They play Country songs in heaven, but in hell we play them loud!” Heart of the album gut punch “Middle of a Heart” tackles what is unfortunately a familiar American songwriters’ tale of late. Over hushed finger-picked guitar Adeem tells a tale of a boy with a gun, a freezer full of fresh deer meat, and of course, the ensuing American tale of recruitment & money, love & war. And then the aftermath of mental health and the  suicide rates of veterans here in the good ol, gun lovin’ US of A. Through the entirety of White Trash Revelry, Adeem is cementing themselves as an essential voice in the folk/country singer-songwriter scene. A queer, non-binary Country Musician, singing about the world as they see it. Telling me stories, asking the questions I want to see asked. And as they build a career, I can follow along. Like a friend. A friend who deep, deep down, just really loves Country Music.

      “I gave my body & blood for the power of love / and hoped that I would conquer sin / but I never even rose again… / He had short, neat curls that were shadowed black / and I was fumbling around with the weather app / wondering if he could ever love me back / sometimes these things are hit or miss / with the perfume trails lingering behind / I caught an urge and the nerve to take his hand in mine / and if didn’t rain at the perfect time / it’s probable we wouldn’t have kissed / in the Northeast Minneapolis arts district… Oh I write this down for Judas… Oh all of this was for Judas…”

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BARTEES STRANGE   /   Farm to Table

       When I wrote about Bartees Strange’s debut album Live Forever for my favorite albums list back in 2020, I referred to it as nostalgic. I referenced The National, Bon Iver, Fall Out Boy, mid 2000′s emo, pop-rock, & hip-hop as touchstones for his blossoming sound. I wrote how those influences made his songs feel familiar, like old friends. Well, when I press play on his sophomore record Farm to Table, and the sweet, melancholic riff of “Heavy Heart” drifts in, I get that exact same feeling! A song about allowing yourself to recognize the heartbreak of the past year, tenderly specific lyrics setting it in time & place “You look so nice in a cherry scarf, we should go to Toronto more often” and then a rolling build to an epic, exploding, unexpectedly monster riff! Bartees is back! With Farm to Table, Bartees has cemented himself as a superstar, an artist I will see every time he comes to Denver, and someone at the forefront of his sound. From the midwest emo of “Mulholland Dr.” to the pulsing, droning, hip hop influenced, name dropping “Cosigns,” to the gorgeous, swelling sadness of “Black Gold,” Strange is staking out his own place in indie-rock. One of my favorite musical moments of the year can be found about three minutes into the menacing, driving “Wretched.” A song that has basically already taken off (the first chorus literally lifts the song off the ground) before dropping into a dark, acoustic guitar-led second verse. As it builds again, you can feel what’s coming, the band syncs in together, smiling at each other from across the room, ready to cut loose. Right before the second big drop, Bartees lets out a pure, unadulterated “Wooooo!” and the song just GOES! Bartees talked a lot about the family aspect of his band behind Farm to Table saying “I had so much pressure to work with fancy people after Live Forever - I’m so glad Chris (producer Chris Connors) & I decided to do it ourselves in our spaces, with our world of friends. It’s so easy & beautiful to grow with friends, to become a family, and to create something new.” The family nature of Farm to Table can be felt through the radio waves and it is a joy to listen to. This is complex & heartfelt indie-rock, with mathematical midwest movements and a hip-hop ethos. Bartees Strange brings a larger-than-life, DC meets Oklahoma, lighthearted, heartbreak, colorful vibe to his writing. Like he says on the mid-tempo (but stick around for the outro!)  “Escape This Circus “There’s a fault in our stars, there’s a rock in my shoe!” It’s not too late to jump on the bandwagon and find your new favorite indie-rock star. Bartees is blowing up!

       “I took the keys to the lake / I said to God what I said / I know the folk on the road / I know they don’t wanna move today / I wish I could die in the morn / Sometimes it’s hard but you know I’m thankful…”

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BLUEBOOK   /   Optimistic Voices

      Sometimes songs & albums find you right when you need them. I had heard about Bluebook for years, knew they were Denver legends, knew about their seriously broody-Angel Olsen meets Sharon Van Etten apocalyptic lounge music. I also knew that Bluebook has grown into a supergroup behind primary songwriter & bassist Julie Davis, featuring Hayley Helmericks (Monofog & Snake Rattle Rattle Snake) on drums, Jess Parsons (old linernotes&seasons fav Glowing House) on keys and Anna Morsett (The Still Tide) on guitar. But it wasn’t until this year, in anticipation of their headlining Globe Hall show in December, when I sat down and gave Optimistic Voices my full attention. It started when I read Julie Davis’ writing on social media to promote their Globe show.  “I’ve got seeds on my mind” Davis’ Solstice-tinged post began. She talked about Winter themes. About

       “the growing darkness as the days get shorter, and a gradual withdrawal & burrowing inside, both into my home & into myself-”

       then she paused, in this moment, you can feel her thumping bassline pick up, willing her song to life, pulsing through “--but the seeds!” she remembered!

       “They keep coming to mind, like coded messages to the future, they contain a plan for new growth, and they are here with us, all around, right now, waiting. They will wait through the wind & the snow until the ground receives their communication, and, at some future date yet unknown, they will grow.”

       In the immortal words of midwest author Michael Perry at my all time favorite music festival Eaux Claires in Wisconsin “The metaphors almost write themselves!” There is a magic in the way Davis writes, but the coded message I needed to hear is one that holds a more practical, everyday kind of magic. It is contained in the words Plan & Communication. Magic is great and all, but it doesn’t just happen. These seeds have a plan. They work towards that plan. They have goals, schedules, mile markers on their move towards magic. They communicate. With the ground, with the elements, with each other. They communicate their plan. They work their plan. Then, and only then, does magic happen.        

       Bluebook turns their plans & communication to magic on this deeply moving, darkly impressive album. Full of driving basslines, swelling & stabbing synths & guitars, and stately lyrics about religion, ketamine therapy, ear infections, flowers & mental health. Optimistic Voices pulses with energy and moves slowly but with intention. When Bluebook finally closed their Globe Hall set long after midnight with a cover, it was one Davis referred to as a “true Solstice song.” At that point we were mere days before the shortest day of the year, and less than a week from Denver’s coldest day in 30 years. The closing song and title track of Optimistic Voices is from Wizard of Oz. If you’re familiar, you may know it as a bouncing, ecstatic number full of joy & expectation. Although they keep the original lyrics, in typical Bluebook fashion, their version broods with sadness, mystery (is that a Brad Cook synth I hear?!) and a deep, deep winter magic. “You’re out of the woods, you’re out of the dark, you’re out of the night” Davis encourages us in her best somber Florence Welch tones “Step into the sun, step into the light. Keep straight ahead for the most glorious place on the face of the earth or the sky. Hold onto your breath, hold onto your heart, hold onto your hope…” With those words on that night I felt the light returning. Felt the days getting longer. The solstice has passed. The nights are dark & long, but not forever. There is a light in the eastern sky. I repeat the refrain again with Davis and the night is over. Like the rest of my most favorite albums from this year, Optimistic Voices was there for me when I needed it. It helped me get through some of the shortest days and hardest weeks of my year. Like always, I turned to songs for comfort & survival. “March up to the gate and bid it open.”

       “Shifting in the dark / lifting toward the spark / there’s a rope that pulls you up from the dark / in the box you found / a reason for reaching up around…”

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CLEMENTINE WAS RIGHT   /   Can’t Get Right With the Darkness

       Clementine Was Right makes the kind of songs that remind me why I love music so much. Songs that reference places & seasons & people. Songs that want to jump back in the river. Songs that want to ride shotgun with you all Summer, drinking Dr. Pepper and singing out the open window with the hot wind in your hair and between your fingers. These are far bigger than just songs. These songs have families & friends & other lives to live somewhere down the road. To hear songwriter, poet, & frontperson Mike Young tell it, Clementine Was Right is a family affair. Not so much a band as an idea. A community building & changing, morphing & rolling along with songs to sing and places to go. The lyrics are his work; he is a poet, fiction writer & songwriter originally from Northern California and then all over. Currently based out of Denver, so we get to claim Clementine as a local band. He talks about moving & relocation saying “I hate change and I keep doing it! Movement, upheaval, crumbling, transit-trying forever to go home, calling each new stop another home.” In the songs on Clementine’s magnificent second record Can’t Get RIght With the Darkness, I too have found some kind of new home. 

       Can’t Get Right With the Darkness was recorded in Memphis, TN, straight to a 1969 Ampex tape machine. There are a whole host of musicians on it (people that Mike calls “talented & rowdy & tender & golden hearted”). The songs explode out of the radio with life & love, regret & loss, a postcard of American rock & roll, with silly drawings on the back in gel pen from all your queer friends. Musically, Clementine Was Right sounds like everything & everyone I grew up listening to. This is cosmic scoot bootgaze sweeping western emo tonk classic American rock&roll country music. Springsteen, Petty, etc… Lyrically Clementine’s songs are the kind that stick with me. Mike writes with his heart on his sleeve about all the things I love about life. These songs make me want to do better, dance bigger, swing harder & run faster. I spent most of fall & winter 2022 in a pretty dark place. I was facing my own fears. Admitting that maybe I've spent most of my adult life running away. That I was afraid to make decisions, afraid to take charge of my life. I don’t feel like I’ve escaped that period of my life, that time in my thoughts yet, and maybe I never will. But I’m working on things and trying to get better. When I fell for Clementine, I immediately clung to the writing & poetry and the overarching idea that everything is gonna be ok. That even if you make the wrong choice, take the wrong road. You will come out alive. When I listen to Clementine, I have an unexplainable, rock solid feeling that I haven’t lived my best days yet. For all the nostalgia and saudade present in Young’s writing, at their core, these songs fill me with hope. Like when I wake up in the morning I will have new friends to make, new songs to sing, new places to see, new careers to chase, new windows to open or roll down, new lyrics to sing or scream or mumble out into the bright, wide open air, a new life starting over every day. I want to close with some of the ramble lyrics/poetry that Clementine uses for their social media videos. Young’s partner is the incredible poet Gion Davis (go find his poetry book “TOO MUCH”) and I absolutely love the way the poems & the songs & the music weave together in a nonsense jumble of joy & sorrow & happiness & heartbreak & curiosity & adventure! Long Live Clementine Was Right!

       “I am not going to live for a thousand years. I am not a redwood tree or a deep sea sponge. You are running away from your own death that has brushed past you like many tall ferns in the dark. Your life has no witness but you and occasionally your friends who love you. It is devastating. It is the best day you’ve ever had… You can take a year, you can try a year, you can try a lot, you can try two oceans. You can try to say your friend’s name until it’s a face. Was it loud enough?... It doesn’t matter who sang the first line. I need to see people-sized people in the sun. I would like to make something that when you open it, makes a quiet shift. It doesn’t matter if we’re not friends yet. I am calling from the exact center of my fear. Here we are as the sighs get less & less fake. 1% is whispering something about fireflies and the last 1% is wondering if silence is the best wondering you’ll ever reach. I used to live in the desert, but now I live anywhere. So the band gets bigger, confusing, bigger, to include everyone I’ll miss. The desire for rescue is the wrong map to intimacy. I used to live anywhere, but now I just keep visiting. How do you know if the songs work? You ask strangers what they do with their ghosts. You don’t want faces to be numbered, you want them to answer your stories with theirs. You don’t need to harmonize with anything but all the secret windows you’ve been waiting to open in your chest. Singing along is a light under the door of longing. Your new friends sing along with your old friends' daughter and the picture she drew of the band as guests of the lava. Love don’t know I’m coming, love won’t let me stay. It moves you, which is to say you keep going. You sing along…”

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ETHEL CAIN   /   Preacher’s Daughter

       There is an undeniable darkness emanating from Ethel Cain’s official debut album Preacher’s Daughter. Many of the songs sound lifted from some 99 cent red box horror movie; palpable fear & self-hate crashing suddenly into jump scares and waves of wailing noise. Six plus minute songs of burning, brooding evil; reeking with violence, sex, motorcycles, drugs, guns, booze, incest, abusive relationships, and American red, white, & blue religious bullshit. To listen to these songs is like watching one of those horror movies, squinting between fingers covering your eyes; scared to see what comes next, but unable to peel your eyes & ears away. By far the darkest evil Cain uncovers in her writing, is the sin of the Christian church. The black heart at the center of her America’s evil. Ethel Cain grew up like me, but a million miles from me. Born in Florida, a preacher’s kid, indoctrinated in the church, questioning her upbringing, but filled with a deep nostalgia for her youth. When Ethel came out to her family (and consequently the community, cuz if you grew up in a small town you know that’s how it is) as a trans woman, it marked a turning point. In her words “It was war. We were a house divided. It was me versus my whole town.” She distanced herself from the church and started making music on garageband and trying to find collaborators and chosen family. In the midst of that searching, Ethel has created a musical world all her own. A sonic enveloping, a fashion career & a style where she can be herself. An album that runs an hour and 15 minutes and never lets up. She is telling stories, she is relating to old friends from small towns & similar upbrings, and most of all, she is 100% herself. An artist with a singular vision. Preacher’s Daughter is a challenging listen, but it makes me feel as viscerally real as any album on this list. 

       There are songs on Preacher’s Daughter that I can’t listen to without thinking about my own high school years. Amidst all the darkness, there is an 80’s love story in the twinkling pop of “American Teenager” an anti-war anthem that prays to Jesus & daddy & Dale. An empowerment anthem at the end when Cain belts “I’m doing what I want and damn I’m doing it well” This is the only roll-down-the-windows song (and maybe a glimpse at the magic Cain could make if she sold out of her darkness for a lighter side?!) and it immediately takes me back to small town back roads in western Colorado. I remember my lifelong best friend Stephen would play a piano melody for me at his house. Something he wrote that sounded like growing up. Like the end of everything and the beginning of everything. We would be at his house in Silt at midnight. Still time to walk to the train tracks and the Gofer foods or Kum & Go and get chips or corn nuts or a gas station hot dog and a 64oz Dr. Pepper and maybe some cigarettes or later a 6-pack of beer. We would take whatever we bought out under the overpass, where the train tracks ran through, and we would talk about whatever shit. About what we wanted to do with our lives. About the same shit I’m still talking about now. We would rent one of Ethel’s crappy horror movies from the redbox and go back to his house to waste the rest of the night. We’d talk about how we missed our girlfriends, about how we didn’t know what we wanted to do with our lives. About how I still don’t know now. I write all this because this is what I like to remember and this is what Ethel’s songs remind me of. I want her to know that I understand. When the guitar crashes into “A House In Nebraska” and sweeps the whole song away into the madness of growing up & letting go, I feel what it means to her. I feel the pain she feels. When I feel so alone, these are the kinds of songs and albums I look for. When the second half of “Televangelism” finds a light and the piano strikes a match and begins to sing, I hear my friend Stephen’s piano. I’m back home in my childhood bedroom. Somehow, Ethel Cain has conjured up a world that I can live in. In the darkest corners of her world, there is light and there is friendship. These songs are masterpieces and they tell stories of darkness & evil. But maybe, when we turn the lights off and sit in the dark after midnight, telling these stories; we can hold hands and feel a little less alone. Because there is someone out there who feels just like me. 

       “You & me against the world / you were my man and I your girl / we had nothing except each other / you were my whole world / then the day came and you were up & gone / and I still call home that house in Nebraska / where we found each other / on a dirty mattress on the second floor / where the world was empty save you & I / where you came and I laughed  / and you left and I cried / where you told me even if we die tonight / that I’d die yours / these dirt roads are empty / the ones we paved ourselves / your mama calls me sometimes / to see if I’m doing well / and I lie to her and say that I’m doing fine / when really I’d kill myself to hold you one more time… / you know I still wait at the edge of town / praying straight to God that maybe you’ll come back around / I cry every day and the bottles make it worse / cuz you were the only one I was never scared to tell I hurt / and I found photographs of our school on the day we met / I thought you were so beautiful / it was love I guess / and you might never come back home / and I may never sleep at night / but God I just hope you’re doing fine out there / I just pray that you’re alright / and I feel so alone, and I feel so alone out here / I’m so alone out here without you baby…”

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FKA TWIGS   /   CAPRISONGS

      “Hey, I made you a mixtape” begins FKA twigs phenomenal third album CAPRISONGS. If you know me, you know how happy it makes me for FKA twigs to make me a mixtape! Tahliah Debrett Barnett is an English singer, songwriter & dancer who goes by FKA twigs. She lets that mixtape start slow (honestly the way most good mixtapes do!) and opener “ride the dragon” (all of CAPRISONGS song titles are styled in all lowercase) sets the stage for personal fav “honda.” From here, the album dives in. “So yeah one morning… I don’t know, Monday or somethin’' begins track two. A man’s voice recounts “Summertime, you know, all tired and shit, sleep under my eyes, lookin’ at myself in the mirror… who’s that? Anyways, I’m one of a kind. Well… people like me are one of a kind. When life gives us lemons, we just take in the essence… Anyway, don’t look back, don’t look back, keep drivin’, know what I’m saying? Leave the sourness behind… Leave it to the streets. That’s it. O-T-S-S. Only the strongest survive. Honda, baby!” From there, it’s easy to get lost in the entrancing beats that make up the rest of CAPRISONGS. Rumbling waves of late night afro rhythms, hip-hop, r&b & soul, chanted choral backgrounds, auto tuned wails dancing intertwined with frail falsetto, Twigs shapeshifts her way through beats & breaks, interlacing bangers with spoken word interludes, cassette tape clicks & hisses, transporting you to HER world, a capricorn sun, an artist in charge.

       I fell in love with this album way back in snowy January, the kind of tropical transportation I needed to escape my winter unemployment reality. My littlest sister had texted me a long, sweet text about life & growing up and then she followed it up with “and maybe more importantly, FKA twigs new album is mindblowing.” These are the kind of connections I look for in music, sharing songs & albums with friends & family & loved ones, bonding over “THIS SONG” or “I can’t wait for the new album” or “Let’s definitely go see her next time she comes to Denver!” CAPRISONGS is a slithery masterpiece, rewarding on multiple listens, equally strong as wintry background heaters or summer party bangers. FKA twigs is building a monster discography (I hear “Cellophane” is killing it on tik tok right now?!) and CAPRISONGS is as much fun as you’ll have dancing in the kitchen late at night this year. If you missed it when it came out a year ago, go get it now!

       “This is for the hard dreamers / been sad for a while / All the indigo & lightbeamers / been sad for a while…" 

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FLORENCE + THE MACHINE   /   Dance Fever

       Of all the inevitably titled “covid albums” written or made during lockdown during the global pandemic, Florence Welch’s Dance Fever has my favorite origin story and most direct & literal writing about what it was like for those of us who lost live music. I relate 100% to the opening of “Choreomania'' where Welch deadpans “I am freaking out in the middle of the street, with the complete conviction of someone who’s never had anything actually really bad happen to them.” Before covid, live music was my outlet, my drug, the one place where I felt like myself. During covid, I felt so lucky in my situation (an introvert who actually enjoyed lockdown haha, I kept my job, didn’t lose anyone, lived my life completely unscathed by the pandemic) but I would bemoan to close friends my “loss” of live music. I felt a hole in my life, an essential part of my life, my joy, was ripped away. Florence addresses this idea directly on Dance Fever as she struggles with herself, questioning her career, her “addiction” to performing, and the kind of deep, deep questions I dealt with this last year. The kind of questions that have potential to rip your life apart and destroy everything you love, but open up your future to unfathomable, life fulfilling possibilities. If that sounds a tad over dramatic… well, it’s Florence + The Machine! She’s built her career, cult fanbase & self-mythology on the melodramatic overdramatic… So let's dive in!

       Dance Fever is a loose concept record about the dancing plague (or Choreomania, derived from Greek “Choros” meaning dance and “Mania” meaning madness) that struck Europe in the 1300-1500’s where hundreds or thousands of people, would take to the streets and dance erratically, sometimes to exhaustion and even death. It is one of the fascinating, horrifying google history rabbit-hole kinda things that keeps you up at night, but Florence is no stranger to cult-like dance events. Her brooding opener “King” starts exactly where any important pandemic record should start “We argue in the kitchen about whether to have children, about the world ending and the scale of my ambition, and how much is art really worth?” Welch states bluntly. Dance Fever gives us a sometimes unsettling glimpse into Florence’s private turmoil through the most personal, autobiographical writing of her nearly 15 year career. Florence feels vulnerable here “I was never as good as I always thought I was” and “what strange claws are these scratching at my skin, I never knew my killer would be coming from within” but she needs to work these feelings out in songs, she “needs to go to war to find material to sing” and by the end of the first five minutes “King” explodes with defiant self confidence. Make no mistake, with all her inner struggles, Florence is still a force; a woman finding herself, a changeling, a shapeshifter, a superstar artist belting “I am no mother, I am no bride, I am KING.” Sooo… I guess she’s not having kids then. I shiver every time I hear her sing that line so matter-of-factly, like your friend telling you she’s figured out the secret to herself.  In case there was any doubt about the inner turmoil and where it would leave her, Welch whispers out the ending over soft harp strums “I was never satisfied, it never let me go… Just dragged me by my hair and back on with the show…” Was this her cold hearted decision, or some demon or angel inside her, something that great artists have that forces them to create? From there, her choice to sing & dance & perform gets easier. “Free” is the most Antonoff-y of the bunch, with a huge, bubbling chorus and the simple refrain of “I hear the music, I feel the beat, and for a moment when I’m dancing, I am free!” The quiet centerpiece of the record “Girls Against God” is a masterclass in writing that makes me cry & laugh in equal amounts. The funny (“I listen to music from 2006 and feel kinda sick” and “in my darkest fantasies, I am the picture of passivity. Waiting for you side of stage, suppressing all my private rage, but as my sister said… I’D PROBABLY LAST SIX DAYS”) are seriously laugh out loud funny, but the depth of “I know I may not look like much, just another screaming speck of dust” and “I met the devil, you know he gave me a choice… A golden heart or a golden voice” gives the listener a completely explicit glimpse into Florence’s brain & heart. Deadly. Florence sacrifices herself for these songs (perhaps overdramatically, but like I said, It’s Florence + The Machine!) many times over, like in “Heaven is Here” (which made an absolutely fantastic concert/cult ritual opener) where she confides “every song I wrote became an escape rope, tied around my neck to pull me up to heaven” and gorgeous closer “Morning Elvis'' (which she sang with Ethel Cain in Denver, a true favorite live music moment of 2022!) where she bemoans “after every tour I swear I’ll quit, it’s over boys now this is it, but the songs like children beggin’ to be born…” So let’s close by talking about the cult-ritu-errr, live show!

       On October 1, I walked the Platte River bike path in a gorgeously warm, t-shirt autumn sunset, to Ball Arena, to the choreomania dance party, ren faire magnificence that is a Florence + The Machine show. The setlist was perfect, Florence is the one of the most physically impressive live performers I’ve ever seen (she ran the length of the arena floor, sprinting barefoot, whipping the crowd into a frenzy of sweat & love. Six songs in they played “Dog Days” and half way through the song Florence took time to talk saying 

       “Hello to anyone who is joining us for the first time! It’s quite an intense experience. And then, to anyone out there who may have been brought along. Or who is chaperoning someone, and you’re wondering… ‘what the fuck is this?!’ Is it a cult?! Is it some kind of massive, haunted house experience?! Is it some kind of British, pagan dance ritual?! Am I safe?! Well all I can say to anyone who has been brought along is… It’s really so much better if you just give in to it! Like really give in. And I promise that if you just do every single thing that I say… You’ll be absolutely fine! So the first thing I’m going to do Denver, is I’m going to need every single person in this arena to put their phones AWAY! And if you all can help me out, take a look to your left and right and if you see anyone with their phone out I want you to very politely -and you can use a british accent I won’t be offended- say, excuse me please would you mind putting your phone away so that we can have a collective experience! Now that they’re all gone.. IS EVERYBODY FREE?! We all spend so much time on screens and separated from each other, so now I want you to tell each other that YOU LOVE EACH OTHER! TELL EACH OTHER THAT YOU MISS EACH OTHER! You do not need to share or post this moment, BE HERE NOW WITH THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CAME WITH, WITH THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE!” 

       I cried, I laughed, I hugged new friends, I told strangers I loved them, and then we all danced together. Choreomania? Dance Fever? It may be slightly overdramatic, but that’s pretty much all I want.

       “What a thing to admit / that when someone looks at me with real love / I don’t like it very much / kinda makes me feel like I’m being crushed / is this something that you would like to discuss? / and it’s good to be alive / crying into cereal at midnight / if they ever let me out / I’m gonna really let it out…”

*

JEAN DAWSON   /   CHAOS NOW*

       I honestly don’t remember where, when or who I heard about Jean Dawson from (or why the hell I hadn’t heard of him until this year?!), but once I heard his lilting, lonesome single “PIRATE RADIO*” (all the songs on CHAOS NOW* are stylized “CAPS LOCKasterisk”) in late September, I was 100% hooked. Especially when contrasted with the ballistic, ferocious, singalong rage of “SICK OF IT*” which was released two weeks later, Jean Dawson’s third album CHAOS NOW* is the sound of an artist about to take over the world. If you read all the reviews, interviews and think pieces about Jean Dawson, they all talk about the way he smashes and melds genres, sometimes in the same song, in the same verse. He pulls from punk, hardcore, hip hop, rap, grunge, emo, goth, pop, etc… But instead of talking about who or what he sounds like, I want to talk about what makes Jean Dawson so special. A true student of music, Dawson grew up on thrift store CDs, limewire and youtube ripped mp3s on his ipod, listening to everything on long bus rides between Sinaloa, MX (where his mother is from and where he grew up) and San Diego, CA (where his father is from and where he went to school). He practiced piano at Guitar Center as a teen because he didn’t own one. Now he makes the most gigantic, out-sized bedroom rock & roll you’ve ever heard. You can feel his youthful energy exploding out the speakers on nearly every song on CHAOS NOW*. Whether he’s channeling early 2000’s acoustic pop-punk on the bouncy “GLORY*” teaming with Earl Sweatshirt on the sweet, string symphony, stomp folk of “BAD FRUIT*” (which could honestly pass for Viva La Vida era Coldplay, remember Jay-Z had a verse on “Lost+”?!) or channeling the glory days of rap-rock on the thrashing “0-HEROES*.”

       When I tell people about the music that I love (like really, truly, deeply, lifetime love) it’s sometimes hard to pinpoint exactly what it is about it that makes me love it so much. Most often, it has to do with lyrics. When a writer is able to put into words exactly what I’m feeling. The feeling of being understood, like the writer is seeing the world exactly like me. Like we both “get it.” But there is also an energy to the music. The final piece of the puzzle fits when we get the chance to celebrate the songs and the feelings together. In the same space (a sacred space) with like minded people who “get it” too. A release, a drug. For me, it’s the most important thing worth chasing. It’s why I quit my job a year and a half ago and tried to find my way in music. Well, I got that chance with Jean at Cervantes in October, and it was absolute magic. Lost in a crowd that pulsed & lifted, sweated & shifted; moving as one, screaming as one, echoing Jean… Being together… This album, like so many of the albums on this list, needs to be experienced live. When Jean released CHAOS NOW* he wrote this about his masterpiece: “I’ve been trying to put this album into simple terms and sentences but the more I try the harder it becomes because it’s simply not simple. It is a love letter to all the children that will grow up to change fractions of the world for the result of a greater whole. I hold no lofty ideals on music making rather I wish to serve as a proverbial sludge hammer to doors that have been left locked for kids that not only look like me but feel like me. Music making has been the greatest gift I’ve been given so far that I give you all of me / every emotion every splinter in my step / feel free to use me as a mirror to see you if you wish. I hope to share moments with you / to be a minor theme for your laughs / yells / cries and everything in between. I’m growing up in your eyes, ears and arms. With this little time we have on this big blue green rock I hope that it is well spent with those you love and no fear under your chest !GO FOR IT! CHAOS NOW*”

       “I’m sick of it / on the cliff / nosedive / I’m the new black oblivion / off the shit / over it / live & die with my motherfucking happines…”

*

MUNA   /   MUNA

       I can still picture the exact date, time & place that I really fell in love with Muna’s absolute banger-filled, self-titled, third album. It was a gloriously golden midwest morning, August 4, 2022. I was driving an hour into St. Charles, Iowa to volunteer on set-up crew at the Hinterland Music Festival. Driving past endless corn fields and sweating out a hangover from the night before. I picked an album from one of the artists I had kinda forgotten was playing HInterland. Muna’s huge singalong, dance-along pop songs hit me like a jump into a ice cold Summer lake and I was hooked. 

       Of course I’d been blasting the Phoebe Bridgers-assisted, late 90’s/early 2000’s feel good gay rom-com first single “Silk Chiffon” since late 2021, but the rest of the album matches the opener’s energy. These are mega-huge pop-songs, club ready, sung confidently, and played with a hella good full band. Fast forward three days and I’m dancing, singing & sweating it out in the pit to my first Muna set at Hinterlands. It was everything. Phoebe came bouncing out to sing her “Silk Chiffon” verse of course, they covered “Mr. Brightside,” they were perfect. Fast forward two weeks and I made this Muna playlist and basically learned all the lyrics.

       Fast forward-forward two months and I’m back in the pit with Muna at the Gothic Theatre here in Denver, screaming & dancing & sweating & crying & laughing with the teenagers & the queer kids. So, what’s so special about this album you ask? Maybe part of it has to do with me needing a “break up” album for the first time in a long time. From the positive, work-hard-make-myself-better pulse of leaving/running anthem “Runner’s High,” to the regret vs. growth ache and deep thinking of “Home By Now” (bonus, it’s really, really fun to scream “why is it so hot in LA in late October?!”) It seemed like this album is full of lyrics that hit home, sung to melodies that really stick. When I looked at my spotify wrapped in December, it wasn’t really a surprise that the song I played and sang the most in 2022 is the emotional, power ballad “Kind Of Girl.” The Sheryl Crow-meets-Oasis, acoustic steamroller “Kind Of Girl.” is essentially a self-care manifesto. A morning wake up challenge and maybe my favorite vocal performance of any song this year. I talk about lyrics a lot in these reviews, and “Kind Of Girl” (and really this whole album) felt like the lyrics I needed, right when I needed them. Writing about being yourself, owning your choices and life direction, being proud of who you are, and working to change what you wanna change. It’s powerful, powerful stuff. For girls (and anybody!) who’s been told they’re “too much” or “scary” or ‘you’re taking things too far and pressing too hard” join me in rolling my window down on Downing St., in the late Summer morning air and sing with Katie “I could get up tomorrow, talk to myself real gentle, work in the garden.” then the ending that matters most, “Yeah I like telling stories, but I don’t have to write them in ink… I could still change the end…” An ellipsis that leads to a future life. Go make your own decisions. Take charge of your life. Don’t be afraid to change the end. 

       “Have you ever heard about how when a person’s in a maze? / they will tend to walk in circles thinking they are going straight / they can’t see the bigger picture, so they get stuck in a loop / in the end, I was afraid that that’s what you & I would do / but I still have my moments / where every reason feels a lot like an excuse / I wanna ask you / would we have turned a corner if I had waited? / do I need to lower my expectations / if we’d kept heading the same direction / would we be home by now?...”

*

OPEN MIKE EAGLE   /   Component System with the Auto Reverse

       Back in October, when Larimer Lounge booked Los Angeles by way of Chicago rapper Open Mike Eagle for January 8, 2023, my closest co-worker and #1 music recommender told me I really needed to listen to Michael W. Eagle II. Conveniently, he had a new album dropping the same day we announced the show titled Component System with the Auto Reverse. Two songs in and I knew this album would end up on my end of the year favorites list. This is thoughtful, “elegant-rap” a masterclass from an emcee at the top of his game. Open MIke coined the genre-term (you know I love genre-terms!) “art-rap” at the start of his career in 2010 and it fits, although he bemoans it on the career questioning “I Retired Then I changed My Mind” laughing “I conjured up a gremlin, how do I get rid of you? / ‘what the fuck is art-rap?’ in every damn interview.” To me, it is the humor Open Mike infuses with the deep, life questioning queries, that makes Component System special. He makes me laugh out loud, like in the intro to the woozy “Circuit City” when he drawls “I’m a brand new man doing the same dance / it only seems confusing because I changed pants.” or the banging closer when he raps “I play the wall like a special titan, I ain’t a wizard but I wrestle like him / The only wand I know detects metal items.” The pop culture references (both popular & obscure) are everywhere on these songs. Bill Cartwright, The Pharcyde, Quelle Chris, The Bushwhackers, Big Bird, Golden Girls, Among Us, Scott Rogowsky, Biz Markie, the list goes on. Most notable is Open Mike’s tribute to the late great MF DOOM simply titled “For DOOM.” An inspired, two minute glimpse into how heroes can mold you into who you are. 

       Like Open MIke, I grew up making my own mixtapes. Not the fancy kind, I didn’t have the tape system with the auto reverse, but I made myself mixtapes of my favorite christian rock songs for the tape player in my 1993 Subaru Outback. When I got a laptop in college I graduated to mix cds (I kept calling them mixtapes though!) and would make them meticulously for friends and family (and myself!), for special occasions, seasons, & secrets. I would rip youtube mp3s of clips from our favorite TV shows, funny vines, or quotes that were important. Finding any of those mixtapes now is like a window into who I was, who I was growing up to be. In the same way, this mixtape from Open Mike feels like a portal into his world. Who he is, what he worries about, what makes him laugh, who he is growing up to be. A brand new man doing the same dance. 

       “I still got the same worldview / a brain full of old school rules / and memories like flesh wounds / the cure isn’t in a test tube / it’s the sound of my son belly laughing in the next room…”

*

ORVILLE PECK   /   Bronco

       To be honest, I did not expect to love Orville Peck’s sophomore album Bronco as much as I do. I had his debut album Pony (get it?) on my 2019 favorite albums list and I said I loved it for its “shoegaze, tumbleweed rumble and sweeping western imagery.” I saw Orville a few times over the last couple years at Mission Ballroom and then Red Rocks, as his legend grew and I had been absolutely blown away by his stage presence. Orville’s origin story is the stuff of legends by now. Gay drummer for Canadian punk band dreams up an even gayer cowboy alter ego and conceals his identity with a fancy fringed mask! Suits get fancier, friends get famous-er, stages get bigger, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Hollywood, Miami, Orville Peck is now a superstar. The thing about all the fringe & feathers & glitter & rhinestones is, none of it would work if the songs weren’t good. On Bronco, Orville has doubled down on his classic songwriting, attention demanding voice, and storyteller’s heart. He ditches a few of the tumbleweeds and some of the lonely cowboy vibes on Bronco in favor of more polished, big stage, big lights, big city performances. But the melodies, the lyrics, the way the songs pick up and just go, is pure country songwriting. I fell in love with Bronco thanks to my ex-partner Lila’s love of his songs & his persona. When I hear these songs, all I hear is her; working from home, headphones in, belting lyrics in an exaggerated Orville delivery, happy & oblivious to anyone who may be listening. We fell in love with Bronco together and wore it out during a couple days of long drives in the midwest in the Summer of 2022. No matter what, I hold those moments close and think of them and her everytime I listen to these songs. That’s what music does and I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to. Music marks time & space. 

       Bronco starts as far from where Pony started as possible. It’s been three years and a lot of stages, and where Pony started as slow and dark as Orville gets (“the sun goes down, another dreamless night”) Bronco kicks in with rhythmic guitar, fast rolling drums, and hot, blond surfer boys on the beach in Daytona. By the time the swoon-worthy croon of  “The Curse of the Blackened Eye” hits its stride, it’s clear that Orville is crafting songs his way. His choruses are bigger & catchier, his instrumentation is simple & direct, these melodies & lyrics are strong enough to stand on their own. They ride on Orville’s commanding voice and storytelling theatrics. He sneaks in a Tanya Tucker reference in the uptempo “Lafayette'' and his geographical mile markers journey this album from the West (Malibu, Mendocino, The PCH, The Hexie Mountains, Mulholland, Denver, Reno, the Badlands) to the South (Mississippi, the bayou, Daytona) to the northeast sun and all the way across the sea (Bez Valley, Sofiatown, the Kalahari, Johannesburg, The Thames & Waterloo). As with many country artists, the thing that has always set Orville Peck apart, is his golden voice. Instantly recognizable, his melodies sung in a way only he can sing them. The real magic in the story of Orville Peck, is his ability to simply be himself. Our country & culture is currently waging an all-out war on queer kids (from attempting to ban all things trans-affirming to don’t-say-gay laws etc…) and as always happens in dark times, we turn to artists to rebel and to speak truth. Orville shines a light, a larger than life queer cowboy. Queer country has been a theme on this list (from Adeem to Clementine to Orville to keep reading cuz you’re gonna love Willi Carlisle!) and I think about how much that would’ve meant to some of the kids I grew up with in rural western Colorado. Now more than ever we need our Orvilles. I think about the people I love to sing songs with. I think about the people who make you feel like yourself and how valuable that is. Find those people, hold onto those people, be yourself around them and never change. Finally, I think about singing these songs with Lila. I imagine years from now, walking into some dark, dusty dive bar on the outskirts of Denver. It’s karaoke night, or a drag show, or a wednesday. The singer is tall & strong; commanding your attention. The jukebox is blaring Orville, pedal steel whining, drums rolling. The singer is dressed like Orville (well, maybe the South Broadway Goodwill version of Orville) but they look good. They step to the mic and look around and then the music pauses before kicking in “Hurry over and cry Lafayette!” They command the bar, they demand your attention. Maybe it is Orville. He played last night in Salt Lake after all. You try to look at the eyes behind the mask, but it doesn’t really matter cuz the songs sound so good. You order a Tecate and a shot of Jamo. You move across the floor and start to sing along. The music fills you up and you feel like yourself. The sun goes down. The show goes on. The songs will always be there. 

       “I don’t want you to be afraid / let me see you cry / oh I, I got an hour or so / take my hand and let it go / call me up anytime / c’mon baby cry / I can tell you’re a sad boy just like me…”

*

OTOBOKE BEAVER   /   Super Champon

       Another 2022 live music highlight for me, was the opportunity to work side-stage security for Otoboke Beaver at their sold out show at Globe Hall back in October. I knew they were a big deal, but I hadn’t really been able to give their album a full listen, mostly due to it being… a little fast-paced and abrasive vs. my normal listening habits haha. When I finally dug in a couple of days before the show, I knew I was in for a treat. This is blisteringly, breakneck fast, Japanese punk; with a fun, tongue in cheek approach. Otoboke Beaver formed in Kyoto way back in 2009, and Super Champon is their third album. “Champon” is a Japanese noun that translates to a hodgepodge or a jumble. Indeed, these 18 songs (lasting just over 21 minutes!) bounce around and change direction so fast, that it’s almost easier to listen to the album as one whole “super jumble” song! The women of Otoboke Beaver (Accorinrin, Yoyoyoshie, Hirochan & Kahokiss) challenge gender norms in classic Punk fashion with “I am not maternal,” “I won’t dish out salads” & “You’re no hero shut up f*ck you man-whore.” The former is the opening track and finds Accorinrin challenging her maternal instincts, a rough translation of the lyrics is “I love dogs! I’ll deliver a puppy but not a baby!” Second track “Yakitori” (perhaps the catchiest, bounciest riff & melody on the album) abruptly cascades into a wall of sound & fury with Accorinrin screaming “Destroy!” Otoboke maximizes the entirety of Super Champon (only two songs run over two minutes) with super tight, technical riffs, punishing drums, and a relentless energy that pinballs between anger & humor. There are no contradictions in the world of Super Champon (even when the song is called “Leave me alone! No, stay with me!”) Instead, Otoboke thrive in the chaos & calamity, letting contradicting feelings co-exist, laughing at pain, and good naturedly calling out those who need calling out. But it is very clear from both the album and their live show, that they take no shit. Finally, from the steps side-stage at Globe Hall (the place where I’ve grown with other linernotes&seasons favs Charley Crockett, Liza Anne, Lucy Dacus, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Arlo Parks, the list goes on and on!) I got to see one of my favorite live shows I’ve ever seen. Otoboke are as deliriously fun on stage as they are on album, instigating the crowd, stirring up the pit, crowd surfing with guitars, posing with each other, and clearly having the time of their lives. Otoboke Beaver is already on their way to bigger stages here in the US (see y'all at the Bluebird!) but if you can’t make it to their live show, take 21 minutes and blast Super Champon for your next rage room session or dance party! 

       “A tenacious, sulky, troublesome ass / fallen in love with falling in love / i have no time to waste on you / looking for a one night stand / abso-fucking-lutely out of the question / you dirty old fart!”

*

PINKSHIFT   /   Love Me Forever

       Baltimore’s PInkshift has a charmingly unlikely origin story for a punk rock band. Three east coast kids with immigrant parents, meeting at Johns Hopkins University, bonding over a love of NIrvana, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Foo FIghters & No Doubt. Singer Ashrita Kumar & guitarist Paul Vallejo recruited drummer Myron Houngbedji when they heard him practicing “Helena” by My Chemical Romance in the Johns Hopkins music practice rooms. They consequently dropped their STEM majors in favor of dismantling the patriarchy with punk rock. Their debut album Love Me Forever reminds me of everything I loved about punk growing up. The drums are fast & hard, the riffs are huge, spiraling & diving, exploding into chugging rhythms and firework solos. Then there are Kumar’s vocals; attention demanding screams & shrieks, powerful yells, and throaty melodies delivered with the kind of sneer that drives home the anger, angst & uncertainty found in the lyrics. This isn’t your sugary Simple Plan, Good Charlotte pop-punk, this is modern punk, with heavy hints of grunge & alt-rock. Most of the reviews I read about Love Me Forever used words like “muscular” and “burly.” I had the privilege of working lead on PInkshft’s show here in Denver at Lost Lake in October, and it was, to put it emo-ly, a highlight of my year. I watched Kumar sit quietly, almost unnoticed at the corner of the bar, writing in their journal (maybe the beginnings of Pinkshift LP #2?!...) heard the rest of the touring party, polite and hardworking; load in, sound check, and as most touring bands who play Lost Lake do, run out for food. When PInkshift finally took the stage, it was like something unleashed. Vallejo & Houngbedji come out of their shells on stage, laughing & wild, clearly having the time of their lives. Kumar on the other hand is almost unrecognizable; a frenzy of energy, screaming & whirling, commanding the room. Punctuated by moments of meditation & calm. This is a band destined for bigger stages and wilder crowds. It’s also impossible to ignore the diversity on stage, a band led by kids of color, in genres that have, in my lifetime, been unfairly dominated by white males. At their show at Lost Lake, it was evident by the kids I saw in the crowd; diversity that can be hard to find at shows in Denver. A safe space, and one that Kumar referenced when they spoke from stage. They talked about a crowd that looked like them, about the band’s desire to create spaces like the sacred one at Lost Lake. I want to close with the last paragraph I wrote on instagram. It’s where I directed most of my creative writing this year, and it encapsulates the feelings I felt after one of my favorite shows of the year. Walking out onto Colfax after hanging with Pinkshift. “This is it. This is the future. The world is ending. We’re all dying. Soon. Scream about it. Feel it rise from your gut to your lungs, in your chest, in your mouth. Scream it out. Together. Throw yourself into the pit. Smile & laugh & bruise your body. Wake up sore. Sing along if you know the words. Thank you PInkshift. This one was special.”

       “Sometimes I dream a perfect dream / where I return back to a place / where I was born in the garden of a soul / in the garden I was born…”

*

QUINN CHRISTOPHERSON   /   Write Your Name In PInk

       It was nearly four years ago when Alaskan songwriter Quinn Christopherson took my music world by storm with his tear-jerking masterpiece “Erase Me.” Against an austere Anchorage Museum backdrop, Quinn screamed his heart out (at times delightfully irreverent) in a queer anthem. For the next few years, I wore out “Erase Me” and secret fav “Raedeen” (the sweetly dark family story full of details both cheerful & nauseating). After that, Quinn hunkered down in Alaska and disappeared for a few years. When “lead” single “Bubblegum” finally dropped in Fall 2021, I knew this collection of songs was gonna be special. Truthfully, I knew before that; when I started following little snippets of Quinn’s life via social media and felt the way I always feel finding a new artist to love. I love the way he writes about life, I love the way he includes all the mundane, seemingly meaningless details and I love the way Alaska permeates his writing. When I listen, I feel like I’m there. Most of all, I love the way he writes about family. Parents, siblings, spouses, cousins, nephews, they are all central characters in his songs. When he finally released Write Your Name In Pink (his official debut album) he wrote 

       “I’m insanely proud of this record. I put in pride for my family, empathy for our past, recognition of growth, and most of all Native & Queer joy & hope. God I hope you like it.”

       Since then, it has been a delight to sink into Quinn’s writing. His voice matches his lyrics so well, soft & purposeful, cheery at the edges, you can almost hear his smile sometimes. Musically, Write Your Name In Pink glows with synth washes, gentle drum pads and moody vocal swells that build the songs from whisper beginnings to sing along outros (see powerful opener “Thanks” that closes with Quinn wailing “I don’t know what I was looking for, but I knew when I found you!” over & over over stately strings and swirling vocals). Although most of the songs sit easily in an indie-pop groove, Quinn’s lyrics scream out with all the details of a life lived, an open door into the world of an artist who really, truly cares. Of course, there are all my favorite small details. Crushing spiders, fixing up a home, nephews in school, Jackets & bikes, carving your names into trees, rollerblades, tiramisu, puka shells, puffer vests, the list goes on. Some are Alaska specific, most are things that all of us recognize. Deeper than that, Write Your Name finds Christopherson digging into his own mind, trying to be better, trying to grow. In “Bubblegum” he grows up along with us (from 6 to 17 to 21 to 23 to 25 to 26…) facing his vices, his changes, all the while repeating “I don’t know who I am.” Later, in the pulsing pop of “Uptown” he indulges in drugs & alcohol, all the while repeating “I don’t like who I am.” Quinn writes in a way that matters to me. He tells his stories, deeply & lightly, in a way that makes me feel like I’m his friend. To listen to this album, to pay attention to his songs, is to share in that friendship. To understand someone and to feel understood. That if we were to meet and talk, Quinn would understand me. We’d already be friends after all. We would jump on the trampoline and eat oats and talk about Celine Dion. These are the kind of albums that I’ll hold onto. Friends in music forever. 

“I hope the kids we raise are ambitious, don’t play it safe / have a lot to say, live a long life and get paid / I hope they don’t grow up too fast / travel the world & come back / realize it’s who you’re with, not where you’re at / I hope they dye their hair & get tattoos / are a good sport with a good attitude / I hope they remind me of you…”

*

R.A.P. FERREIRA   /  5 to the Eye with Stars

       R.A.P. Ferreira was another co-worker recommendation, a Wisconsin rapper I was unfamiliar with till this year. Then we had the opportunity to see him live at my favorite small venue that I don’t work at (love you Hi-Dive!) and these songs cemented themselves as friends for life. Rory Alan Philip Ferreira has released a ton of music under multiple different names & projects (including milo & Scallops Hotel) over the last 13 years. Featuring on songs with Open Mike Eagle, Armand Hammer, Busdriver & Anderson Paak and creating his own record label, Ruby Yacht. Stylistically similar to Open MIke, Ferreira’s laid back, lackadaisical delivery is delightfully nimble, dancing between silly & melancholy, chuckling at himself, and dancing all over varied adjectives. His beats are more minimal than Open Mike, soft jazzy brushes & piano, lo-fi-diy noise, static synths squeaking to life, laying a babbling brook of calming sounds for Ferreira to rap over. Lyrically, Ferreira is an elegant wordsmith. He shows off his midwest magic (having lived in Wisconsin, Maine, Tennessee & LA) and blends seemingly random household objects (a meyer lemon, a tiny lamp, a tin of altoids, a Hydro flask, a spark plug) with cosmic ideas both thought provoking, challenging & comforting. LIttered with lines to hold onto, Ferreira is childlike in his innocence (“first fear was vanquished / first fortress was made of blankets”) and scholarly in his thought (“I wrote this rap to make the sunrise”). The emotional center of the record, the brooding “mythsysizer instinct” features Hemlock Ernst (the rap alter-ego of Future Islands frontman Samuel T. Herring who released a rap album on Ferreira’s Ruby Yacht label) crooning over warbly synths and Ferreira’s most direct mental health advice as he says “My sadness a hound dog and he creeps beside me.” This thread of songwriting is deep within me and I’ve touched on it a few times over the years. In Arlo Parks’ “Black Dog” (off of last years’ fav Collapsed in Sunbeams) or Josh Ritter’s The Beast in Its Tracks from way back in 2013, I’ve clung to the medicinal magic of these songs that acknowledge the hound dog of sadness creeping beside you, always there, an ache under the surface; how to befriend it, how to live with it, how to move on. This is powerful stuff from R.A.P. Ferreira and his poetry across 5 to the Eye with Stars is not to be missed. LIke he says on the horn assisted, late night AM radio jazz of opener “fighting back” “I know it’s epic poetry that keeps the cosmos orbiting…” Epic poetry indeed Rory. 

“I find myself a leaky faucet and get to wrenchin’ / the word’s henchman / bench pressin’ sunrises / sometimes it’s overwhelming to be helming the creation of everything / or so I imagine / true magic at my fingertips / down to the wingtips / down to the creases / down to the meat & potatoes / down to the beaten cables / down to the streets & fables / and deeper still, you gotta be for real…”

*

RAVEENA   /   Asha’s Awakening

       Picture if you will, the seeds of an epic idea. A late 20’s mega-talented pop musician has a wild idea for a concept album. She plans to blend her Punjab Indian heritage with her Queens, NY upbringing. She will recruit some of her all time favorite musicians (both Indian and otherwise!), she will use authentic Indian instruments, mixed with modern pop production, r&b, disco and early 2000’s hip hop. She will dive into her favorite influences like Bollywood soundtracks from the 70’s, Timbaland, Alice Coltrane, & M.I.A. Oh yeah, she also loves kitschy sci-fi so the lyrics will recount a story straight from her sci-fi novel about a Punjab space princess named Asha (translates to “desire”) exploring space & time, love & loss, discovering her sexuality, new ideas & new planets! It’s a lot of space to cover, but Raveena’s songwriting is intoxicating, sexual, and expressive, and Asha’s Awakening blooms with her singular style & vision. Raveena’s parents immigrated to the US in the 80’s from Punjab, India to escape anti-sikh riots, and her heritage is not only present but celebrated in the story of Asha. She blends all her influences so cohesively, that her album comes out sounding exactly like the mix that would be blasting on whatever futuristic music player Asha might be bumping in her spaceship!

       My favorite thing about Asha’s Awakening is how creatively it world builds, how openly Raveena invites you into her spaces and how gorgeously meditative & invigorating these songs are when you really give them your full attention. Raveena uses authentic Indian instruments like the tabla, bulbul turang, bansuri flute, swarmandal and sitar. She features some incredible Indian musicians like Rostam & Asha Puthli (oh and also Vince Staples and TWEAKS!) giving the album a modern/futuristic feel. Finally, she layers ambient sounds; bells, chimes & bird chirps that really make you feel like, as she describes “stepping into an Indian garden at 6am on a Summer day.” Some of my personal musical touch points for the first half of the album are the upbeat dance pop of Caroline Rose, or the less guitar-y, more glitch poppy side of Hippo Campus. I can’t hear “Time Flies” without thinking of the laid back pop, complex & intricate instrumentation, and aching vocals of Texas band Sun June (a real linernotes&seasons deep fav). After the spoken word interlude “The Internet Is Like Eating Plastic” the second half of the album is far more meditative and laid back. Yes, there are spoken word pieces, breathing exercises, and a meditative 13+ minute closer! Of all the albums on this list, Asha’s Awakening is the one I would most recommend getting lost in. Play it start-to-finish with good headphones. Let your mind wander space & time. Let it create visions of pink flowers as big as planets and spaceships with headlights like disco balls. Let your body sink into the sensual & relaxing rhythms. Let both your body & brain be expanded and give in to Asha’s world. When you get to the end of the album, Raveena will leave you with a reminder, “Remember that this space of unconditional love and this protective field of light is always here for you to return to…”

       “She wants to follow me to valleys in Kathmandu / She wants to fuck & trip & eat them flowers ‘til she ain’t blue…”

*

SADURN   /   Radiator

       The story behind the creation of Radiator; Philly bedroom-folk outfit Sadurn’s debut full length, is as sweet & magical as the songs on the album itself. With a batch of bandleader and primary songwriter Genevieve DeGroot’s songs to record, and covid making normal studio adventures challenging; the four friends that form Sadurn holed up in a cabin in the Poconos for the ultimate quarantine adventure! “It was kind of just a house” DeGroot admits  “We call it ‘the cabin’ but it was just an airbnb that had some wood paneling” With a backstory like Bon Iver’s For Emma (but with friends!), it’s like you can feel the warm camaraderie of the band spilling out all over the songs that make up Radiator. They tell stories of blanket forts in the loft, the control room set up in a bedroom (so they could listen to takes together, all four snuggled in bed) and drummer Amelia Swain says “When I listen to the album, I get this wash of memories of how it felt to be finally back together again with my friends. It makes me remember how good it felt to be together. To have a sense of belonging - I really can hear that in the music.” Stories like this, friendship like this, really can be heard in the music. From Typhoons’ magical recording-session-camp-out-fort-fest way back in 2013 (that produced one of my favorite albums of all time White Lighter) to Big Thief’s lightning-storm-creek-dip-forehead-to-forehead playing on their records, friendship & camaraderie can be felt through the radio waves. Radiator is not just an album made by friends, it’s inviting YOU to be a friend too!

       The songs on Radiator are soft & secret, unhurried & present. The kind of songs that can be passed over, like street art that someone in a rush doesn’t notice. Degroot spoke of their desire to keep the “lo-fi” aspect that the members of Sadurn had worked hard to create, and the recordings on Radiator are perfect. LIke you’re in a room with just the band, listening to them tell you their stories. Opener “snake” builds from Degroot’s whispered intro “Honey, I was wrong…” (could that be the greatest intro lyric to a break up album ever?!) to a measured garage-y rock. An inward-looking break-up song, with hope at the end (gulp, maybe what I needed this year?). Degroot masterfully tells us about what they’re working on in the aftermath, but closes with 

       “I want you to know that I’ll be holding that line and I believe in all your mercy / and in the weight of the tide as it is pulling you back towards me / you know that I am always yours if you’ll still have me / though you’re tired from that long walk over the chasm / but my idea of love is that it’s lasting…” 

       In fact, most of the songs on Radiator seem to take place in the months (or years) after a break up, as Degroot also plays with time a bit (“I watched a whole forest grow from seeds, before you got up…” on the magnetic & measured “golden arm”). Echoing my own inner turmoil, there are the everpresent, contradictory ideas of going back & moving forward, explained perfectly as “going our separate ways but just in the same direction” on the upbeat indie-rock of “special power.” Through it all, Degroot handles their heartbreak with a gentle, thoughtful ease. There are moments of crying in the shower, “carefully built boundaries,” and hard goodbyes (like on the gentle, fingerpicked “moses kill” that instantly recalls Adrianne Lenker of Big Thief’s solo work). Degroot is clearly doing the mental work to grow, and their friends are right alongside, imbuing what could be a cloudy gray collection of songs with sunlight & flowers, hugs & tears & kisses. These songs have been playing in my headphones a lot as I walked around Cap Hill & Cheesman Park in Denver since October, working through my own relationship ending; and the light they create has been building a little home for me. A home where swirling, opposing ideas can talk it out in my brain. As Degroot would put it “It’s ok what I’m feeling, it’s alright if I’m crying / and maybe there’s some good coming, although I cannot find it / and I know that light humming on the back of my eyelids…”

       “Your mind is like a like a fishnet and mine is like an icepick / sometimes it’s not enough and sometimes I think it’s perfect / and I get so messed up cause I don’t know if it’s working / I’m standing by the window, I can’t wait to let the light in / I can’t wait to let the light in…”

*

SAMPA THE GREAT   /   As Above, So Below

       The common thread running through the heart of Sampa the Great’s sophomore album As Above, So Below, is her native country of Zambia. She spoke of how important it was for her to record the album in Zambia and have it produced by a team of Zambian producers. Sampa Tembo is a 29 year old singer & rapper born in Zambia; based more recently out of Botswana, then California & Australia. If you play through the album at full volume, you’ll see pretty quickly why she goes by Sampa the Great. In the midst of heavy beats, swirling psychedelia, ethereal choirs & live drums, Sampa grounds & threads every song with her singular voice. A compelling mix of live musicianship, A-list features, and entrancing & invigorating songwriting, Sampa is staking her claim as a modern voice to be reckoned with. Sampa takes control for most of these songs, both singing sweetly and rapping fiercely over rhythms & vocal washes both ancient & modern. She skips & bounces brightly over a gentle melody in “Tilibobo” then practically growls her verses out on the monstrous “Can I Live?” A raging highlight of the album, “Can I Live?” is a collaboration with legendary Zamrock band W.I.T.C.H. (who I was lucky enough to see live last year at Treefor Music Fest!) and it climbs from driving, jungle beats, led spiraling upward by Sampa’s dazzling verse, then proceeds to leap off the edge into fiery guitar psychedelic pyrotechnics. Zamrock is a genre born in Zambia, a blending of traditional African music with psychedelic rock & roll, blues & funk, and hearing it blending in seamlessly on a modern hip-hop album is delightful. The choice to record this album in her homeland was one that means a lot to Sampa, who came to prominence while based in Australia; and the choice to work with Zambian musicians & producers imbues her songs with an authenticity & vibrancy that explodes through speakers and sounds like, as Sampa would say, “my freest record yet.” She raps & sings in both English and the Zambian language Bemba, she blends modern hip hop production with authentic African instrumentation and she blends features from African legends W.I.T.C.H. & Angelique Kidjo with hip-hop powerhouses like Joey Bada$$ & Denzel Curry. Through it all, this is Sampa the Great’s album. A singular vision, a portal into an artist’s world & home. A journey to Zambia with Sampa the Great. 

       “All of this lineage, the journey / this spirit is funny / can’t replicate a shooting star / I can be hard / I can be soft / I can be everything uder the stars…”

*

TOMBERLIN   /   i don’t know who needs to hear this…

       I had a long and meaningful journey with the new Tomberlin record this year, and she ended up with 3 of my top 5 most played songs on the infamous spotify wrapped. I want to start by pointing out that this is the most perfectly sequenced record I can remember in the last few years. From the gorgeous soft brushes, juno synth, & jazzy touches of brooding opener “Easy,” to the peaceful rhythms of “Born Again Runner” & “Tap.” By the time we get to the heart of the record, the roaring guitar solo from Cass McCombs in the epic “Stoned” and the pulsing growl of “Happy Accident” it matches any album on this list for emotional heft. By the time the winter-morning-radiator-creak of “idkwntht” mumbles it’s way out gorgeously, this is a top five album of the year for me . Besides the sequencing and the gorgeous, understated musicality, Tomberlin’s writing here is stellar and she tackles all my favorite topics. She is 27, a Baptist preacher’s kid, so it’s no surprise that challenging religion is a theme (“Born Again Runner” is a masterpiece) but her move to New York has her writing about finding beauty in nature in the city (“I’m not a tree, I’m in a forest of buildings”) and magic & brain gardening (!) (just listen to all of “Sunstruck” and read the lyrics, it is an all-time classic for me). “Sunstruck” rides a quietly bubbly riff (like a small, indoor water feature) barely rising above a whisper, the kind of song I love, but one you could miss if you’re not paying attention. If you do listen closer you’ll be laid flat by the emotional weight, the deep truths about life decisions, and the simple metaphors about growing up, choosing to be alone, dealing with a breakup, and the work needed to discover who you really are. These have always been questions and struggles for me, but in 2023, it felt like there was nothing else. The entire record  has a calming simplicity to me (both musically & lyrically) and I really felt like growing with this record was like growing closer and getting to know a new friend. Who they are, what they like, what they’re afraid of, what deep questions they’re struggling with, what makes them truly happy, what makes them cry, what dumb things make them laugh, what little things they notice when they’re out walking, what they want out of life, what they want people to remember about them when they die...

       I was lucky enough to get to see my new “friend” in person twice this year, and both were wonderful & special. First, at Larimer Lounge back in June, while I was working, I was able to duck in and catch most of her set, when I hadn’t really listened to the record fully yet, and from that stage, I realized it was special. I wrote after that night 

       Tomberlin is hard at work building something magical. She’s “not tired / just wired for late nights staying up / reminding me I’m still alive.” She’s “looking for hope in a song or a run or a deep breath…” She “left behind some pain to get to the magic thing…” and this album & this live show is a magic thing. Special in ways that you have to listen & pay attention to. Like that warmth in the breeze. Like the smell of the rain. Like the change of the seasons…

       The second time I marked some time & space with this record was in Raleigh, North Carolina at Hopscotch Music Festival. A late night set at a packed Pour House. A sacred place I’ve wanted to visit for years. Sacred songs in sacred places. Safe against a sidewall, Tecate in hand, listening to Sarah Beth Tomberlin sing me stories of growing up. In moments like that, I’m lost & found and I honestly don’t think I’ll ever need anything more. Thank you for this record Tomberlin, I’ll keep this one close forever.

       "I went looking for myself by myself / and it wasn't close to easy, but it sure did help... / a year passes and some seeds take root / your garden is growing and mine's growing too / and the work's not always fun / but it's better than staring at the weeds & the mud / we left behind some pain / to get to the magic thing..."       

*

WALTER MARTIN   /   The Bear

       Perhaps no other album on this list spoke to me as deeply on the topic of growing older, as Walter Martin’s The Bear. In a year where I felt my age harder & realer than any year before, I think I was searching for writing just like this. The Bear was recommended to me by Will Sheff of long time fav Okkervil River, and after listening through (and probably crying and probably pouring myself a dark beer) I was blown away by Martin’s writing & musicianship. Musically, this is a true songwriter’s album, Martin recorded all the demos with just him and a guitar. He enlists some of my all-time favorite musicians Josh Kaufman (The National, Josh Ritter, The War on Drugs, Hiss Golden Messenger, a ton of other stuff!) Eric D, Johnson (Fruit Bats) and Sam Kassirer (Josh RItter) as well as Oscar-nominated composer Emile Mosseri. All this results in rich, jazzy flourishes enveloping Martin’s songs in fireplace wine & whiskey warmth. A lifer of a musician, Martin played in New York bands Jonathan Fire*Eater in the 90’s and The Walkmen in the 2000’s. He references that life a few times on the album (most notably on “The Bear” “I had a dream that I was in a mid-level rock&roll band, played every shithole night club across this entire land”) but it’s clear he lives a different, more rural life now. Wilderness abounds here; there are bears, crows, buffalo, foxes, evergreens, and ice & snow. But it is the wilderness in the recess of his aging mind that Martin chases so beautifully. There is the acknowledgement of growing older, of thinking about death (he talks about “trying to build a body of work that I’d be ok to be buried with”) and giving the listener a feeling of comfort & connection, 

       When Martin explains his writing on The Bear, he is direct, saying “These songs explain who I am and why I make this stuff.” I think most of us want to leave behind some sort of work or memory like this. To have people know you. Know who you really are and why you think like you do and why you make the stuff you do. Never is this more evident than on the achingly beautiful closer “The Song is Never Done” where Martin speaks deeply and honestly about his dreams & his family, about the morning sunlight and his life’s work. He talks of painters, his cousin, his children, eternity, the raging sea, the fallen tree, how he wants to be remembered, how he exists in circular time. He lets us in on a secret, he has been working for years on writing the perfect song (“No it’s not this one, it’s another one” he chuckles, making me chuckle and actually laugh out loud through my tears) and he encapsulates this feeling as “Cause then I will be fully known. And lonely won’t be so damn alone.” This is, to me, what I too am spending my own life working towards. It is what I spend my time & life in music for. There is a truth, there is a great happiness, there is a knowing of oneself. Underneath everything, there is recognition of a great sadness, a grand canyon of ache. But the right song, the morning light through the window, the way those drums and lap steel match up in a timeless rattle, can help us to celebrate that ache. To pull our pants on, brush our teeth, and face the day. To smile through our tears and not only face the world; but do good and pursue our life’s work. To get to know ourselves deeply and share that with others. To live another day. Because, like Martin points out, The song is never done…

       “Well there’s a big blind bear who roams this road late at night they say / you’ll see her in the shadows as she walks her lonely way… / so I sit here at my window where I dream someday she’ll pass / I see the rhododendrons I planted and I think how time moves so fast / like the moonlight & the electric light / projecting paisley patterns on the grass… / and I don’t know where my memories should go / good & bad I cherish them so… / I don’t know Lord, I don’t know / I don’t know how the story should end / and as I look up at that night sky, music begins / and stars are everywhere / come on, come on, come on, just take a look up there / they fill the darkest corners of the darkest air / and they go where satellites would never ever dare / and then suddenly over there I see the bear…”

*

WILLI CARLISLE   /   Peculiar, Missouri

       I want to open this review by quoting Willi Carlisle’s writing from the centerfold of the digipak cd version of Peculiar, Missouri. It serves as a mission statement, a scene setting, a mystical late night tale told around a campfire by a wild man named Willi, and it goes like this…

       “Amidst the great resignation & impending climate disaster, I hear the hundred-year-old echo of migrations recorded & forgotten, the old spiritus mundi in the Arkansas pines. I hear the words of forebears who lit the way for us, the great-great-grand-so-&-so’s who forged our misery & our delight in genetic code & microfilm. The yowling bastards who got us into this mess never shut up. And we’re different than them, yeah? Thank Dog! But we did come from them. They gave us songs & slogans to repeat and revise, and I wanna hear them… It’s like a miracle, this inchoate rushing, this river of history. It washes us towards the end, the big mystery. Are we bathed in its bloody backwaters? Todo pasa en este mundo? It rolls over us like a manic-episode & a makeout session, like the broad-shouldered lad at the square-dance. It crushes us like a covered wagon thrown from a skyscraper. But things ain’t hopeless, no, not yet! Not while we’re livin’...”

       And so it is that we meet Willi Carlisle. A sweet, mythical giant from the MIdwest & Arkansas. A historian & a folksinger; a poet & a storyteller. Traditional Folk music like the kind Carlisle is professing his love to on his sophomore album Peculiar, Missouri, always has its roots deep, deep in the past. Willi holds the music of that past holy; paying his respects with fiddle, accordion, banjo, mando, dobro & tambo, and some songs that sound like they could’ve soundtracked square dances on midwest summer nights 70+ years ago. Lyrically, Carlisle pushes past the past, staying true to himself with songs about queer love & acceptance, mental health, and fighting against homelessness, racism, & corporate America. In the genres Carlisle traffics in, those lyrical themes can be regrettably uncommon (although not as uncommon as you’d think, as alternative country & folk is full of young, progressive songwriters making waves and selling out shows, railing against corporate country’s racism, sexism &  homophobia). But these are also genres that revere talented players so Carlisle must pay his dues with some classic sounding songs. The upbeat numbers, like the countrified-zydeco-graceland-romp of all inclusive, singalong opening jam “Your Heart’s a Big Tent” or the breakneck, Bakersfield country slide of the Johnny Cash recalling, outwardly humorous, inwardly socially-conscious and politically challenging “Vanlife” practically burst with joy; spilling over with Carlisle’s welcoming smile & tongue-in-cheek lyrics. “The Down and Back” could be played at the square dances Carlisle loves to call (he talks about his and others’ roles in creating safe spaces in square dancing and how “queer futurism insists that these deeply rooted behaviors can create a future out of what feels like a near apocalyptic present.”) Then, there are the songs that really prove Carlisle’s worth as a songwriter. The crooner tremble of ‘I Won’t Be Afraid” belies Carlisle’s sneaky wit & irreverence when he sings “I’ve done some dumb shit and I’m gonna do some more” &  “I’ll wake up early and haul ass!” “LIfe on the Fence” is the most obviously queer song of the bunch, an aching country twanger about Memphis & Texas, crying in public, & bisexuality. 

       Truthfully, there are two songs on Peculiar that, to me, are lifers. Songs that only Willi Carlisle could write. Songs that to this day, I can’t listen to without crying. The title track “Peculiar, Missouri” is an outwardly humorous, spoken word tune about a panic attack in a midwest Wal-Mart (a “come-apart in the cosmetics aisle”) that references Carl Sandburg and takes a few magical twists & turns to contemplate life & death, love & the meaning of it all on the long drive home; looking out the window at the shooting stars. “I sure wish I knew what we were supposed to do with ourselves. If you get any good ideas, won’t you let me know?...” Maybe one of those good ideas can be found in “Tulsa’s Last Magician,” a seemingly simple folk tune about a seemingly simple life. As Carlisle says “There’s no good tricks but old ones” and his writing here magically weaves magician metaphors into memorable moments in a life that just might save us all. For those of us who think that no one quite gets quite what we are, this is our song. Space & time & stories & magic. 

"This record is in praise of those dead folkies whose honest seeking brought us this unsettling, awkward, fumbling epoch. I’m asking you, them, us: what is it that we can’t find? Who is there but us? Who else will make the world fair & just? We orphan ourselves, we drive sixteen hours, we break our bodies, we uproot whole continents in search of love, in search of our deepest human right. What foolishness! What violence! I foam & dance & sing, and look upwards for the shooting star. Stay weird, stay wild…”

*

ZETA   /   Todo Bailarlo

       So we have made it all the way to Z! One of my favorite music experiences in 2022 was my first trip to Boise, Idaho for Treefort Music Fest. One of my favorite new finds at Treefort was Zeta. Originally started as a punk band in Lecheria, Venezuela in 2003, Zeta is currently based out of Florida & North Carolina after moving to the US to chase their dreams of being touring musicians. They have toured relentlessly in the US since then, building little communities wherever they go, sharing food & music & progressive ideas from their hometown. I actually saw Zeta first at Lion’s Lair in Denver, the night before I left for Treefort and I then proceeded to see them multiple times over the course of my five days in Idaho and was repeatedly blown away by their energy, their positivity, their righteous anger, their rhythms and their NOISE! This is punk music at heart; loud & raucous, guitars wailing, drums cascading, music by the people, for the people. With their hearts planted firmly in their native Venezuela, Zeta imbues their brand of punk with afro-caribbean rhythms, cumbia, calypso, salsa, samba, bossa nova, latin jazz, a ragtag orchestra collective, swelling with electricity, a fire to be LOUD. “Todo Bailario” translates to “To Dance It All” and these are definitely songs made for dancing. Whether the sensual, swirling kind, engulfed in the rhythms from off the coast of the Caribbean Sea, or the sweat-soaked, mosh-pit, screaming kind, skin to skin with new punk friends, raging over injustices together. So many of the albums on this list were favorites of mine for their lyric writing. I’ve always loved songwriters who speak to me. The kind of lyrics that make me feel understood. Songwriters who write so openly, with such honesty, that to get to know their songs, makes me feel like their friend; Zeta’s songs do exactly that, but through the music alone. I may hardly understand any of the words they are singing, but in the way that they play and  the joy that they exude both on stage and on the album, I feel understood. The way that they let the energy of their music create a community, from Venezuela to Florida to Colorado to Idaho; I feel like an integral part of that community. Like I play a role in this lifeline of music.  I feel like their friend. I can’t wait to see my friends in Zeta again in Idaho at Treefort 2023!

       “Heal! Heal! Heal the earth with your hands…”

*

EP BONUS

IMMIGRANT’S CHILD   /   Papalotl

NIA ARCHIVES   /   Forbidden Feelingz

RITMO CASCABEL   /   Ritmo Cascabel

       Two local Denver bands with heavy Latin influences and one UK jungle/drum & bass DJ, producer & songwriter. The Papalotl EP from Immigrant’s Child is full of brooding indie rock that follows shredding guitar into heavier psych rock. RItmo Cascabel mixes similarly psychedelic rock and explosive rhythms with traditional Latin Cumbia. Finally, Nia Archives makes “future classic” music full of breakbeats & reggae samples, equal parts chill & danceable.

       “The song is never done…”

       “Music marks time & space…”