#with kim and with marisol and yeah even with buck

[eddiedisasterdiaz]

I’m so mad about the Eddie infidelity arc. Aside from absolutely hating cheating storylines to start with, it just feels so out of character for him, even if he is a complete mess right now. Man was completely faithful to Shannon the entire two years they were separated—cheating is not something he would do.

[lenaboskow]

okay longer post because i finally have the time:

"what medical decisions has buck made" what medical decisions has eddie made on screen

"what input on his school schedule does buck have" chris has gone to the same school since s2 and buck helped find it by introducing carla

"is buck listed as an emergency contact" you answered the question yourself babe

"how often did buck see chris in s7" literally everytime chris was on screen except once it was for an arc that involved buck

"do they have a custody schedule" they aren't divorced??

"does buck pay child support" see above

"does eddie ask bucks opinion on what school chris goes to" again same school since s2 and he didn't even ask shannon so if he didn't, it's not a point

"did buck have a sit down with chris when chris was skipping" it's such a small plot i forget it exists, but are we ignoring the sit downs about running away, leading girls on, and the whole kim situation (off the top of my head)??

"does buck reasses chris' care plan" does eddie do that on screen??

"was buck asked for his input when chris left" i guess the 7x10 convo doesn't exist (again buck knew what would get through to chris if anything, it just didn't work because chris is a teenager now and wanted to get away. that convo was what chris needed it was not out of character)

"does chris have a room at buck's" does buck have a room at buck's?

"does buck know what allergies chris has" well he cooks for him so i hope so

"or what previous hospitals he had surgeries at" he's his legal guardian if he can't name them off the top of his head he has access to the info that's how that works

"when marisol took chris out was buck informed" yeah probably buck and eddie are attached at the hip be for real

"what medical costs does buck cover" money isn't everything?? again they aren't divorced (if buck tried to pay i stand by the fact that eddie wouldn't let him)

anyway keep it coming babe i could go all day

[glorious-spoon]

When Eddie said it's not like he's having an affair and then Buck and him clarified that he meant he didn't have sex with Kim I was like - hey, maybe think about this more. How he thinks this is the only way a relationship gets defined or what an affair means? Because the one thing Shannon pointed out in S2 is that they don't talk and keep using sex as a way out. And we've seen this season that Eddie's one major problem in his relationship with Marisol was that he wasn't able to have sex with her because of her nunnery past. There's something here and something about him having an idea of what a relationship means. Interesting that he doesn't see everyone else's relationships this way but his own have this pattern.

YEAH, i've been thinking about this a lot! and it's not necessarily that he didn't like or want sex with shannon or with marisol, but that talking about their problems (in shannon's case) or actually getting to know each other and risking that they weren't compatible and the relationship was doomed (in marisol's case) were terrifying, and sex is like - it feels intimate! it feels like a genuine connection! you get to make each other feel good and you don't have to do the hard scary emotionally vulnerable part because you're all giggly and cuddly and full of endorphins, and that's good enough, right???

like, in the case of kim, i do think he's engaging in some deliberate self-deception about what he's actually doing. i think he knows that kim thinks they're dating, and that marisol would not be okay with what he's doing if she found out; there is, after all, a reason he's gone so out of his way to keep both relationships a secret from the respective other woman. but he's put a mental line in the sand where if he doesn't cross it, it doesn't actually count as cheating, even though i suspect he knows deep down that's what it is.

[nicky92021]

I’m really terrible at writing but I had an idea of how Eddie might realize he’s gay (or demi or just Buck-centric) after he moves back to Texas

Could someone take this as inspiration and write a fic?! Please! I hope someone else likes the idea.

I didn’t want to make up names / I couldn’t remember if his sisters were already named in the show?

Sorry for the terrible formatting

Eddies Sister 1 “so how are things with buck? I bet you’re missing him a lot huh?”

Eddie “yeah it’s been tough. He knew how important it was for me to be with Christopher but the goodbye was still hard.

Eddies sister 1 “wait I thought you were still talking? Did you break up??

Eddie “what?!”

Eddies sister 1 “I thought you were going to do the long distance thing, I knew you weren’t going to stay forever your life is back in LA but wow breaking up after being with him for so long… do you really think Chris doesn’t want to be in LA again? See his Buck again?”

Eddie “what are you talking about?! Buck and I are just friends! I’m …I’m straight! Where did you get the idea that we were together?!”

Eddies sister 1 “Eddie…. I… I thought you were together? I don’t understand? All those times you talked about him and chis going to the movies, the zoo, staying at your place?… christmases??”

Eddie “I’m straight! Why would you just…. Wouldn’t I have mentioned if I was gay?!”

Eddies sister 1 “I thought you didn’t want to make it a big thing!!! You never really give lots of personal details Eddie you just talked about Chris and Buck!”

Eddie “I was just in a relationship! With a woman! The whole reason Chris is here is because he caught me with a woman that looked like his mother!”

Eddies sister 1 “you didn’t say you were seeing her!”

Eddie “I wasn’t! I was seeing Marisol she was with Chris when I was with Kim who looked like Shannon!”

Eddies sister 1 “you didn’t mention her once! You told us Christ saw you with a mom look alike freaked out you called buck to try and talk chis out of his room but then mom and dad showed up and took him!”

Eddie “whatever it doesn’t matter buck is my friend. My best friend. That’s all.”

Eddies sister 1 “ok”

Eddie “ok”

Eddies sister 2 “what did I miss”

Eddies sister 1 “nothing we were just talking about buck”

Eddies sister 2 “what happened did you guys break up?”

Eddie “IM STRAIGHT”

Eddies sister 2 “…. Buck is a woman?”

Eddie “you are doing this on purpose! You planned this to mess with me”

Eddies sister 1 “we didn’t plan anything!”

Eddies sister 2 “what are you talking about?!”

Eddie “look. I don’t know why the both of you think I’m in a relationship with Buck but I’m not. He’s my best friend that’s all…”

Eddie “…..do…. Why did you think I was gay? Was it just Buck….”

Eddies sister 1 “I mean…. Kindof? But also….. you only ever dated Shannon when we were younger … and even then you just kindof ran into marriage when she got pregnant…. It’s not so crazy… you never told us about anyone else after she died but you sounded better after a while you know? We.. I … just assumed…. Sorry Eddie”

Eddies sister 2 “did you have a boyfriend in like 10th grade? That guy that always came over…. Devon? Donald? Whatever”

Eddie “David 🙄 and he was just a friend from school we barely hung out”

Eddies sister 1 “uh no (sister 2) is right… he was over almost everyday for like a month… what happened?

Eddie “nothing… we just lost touch … Shannon transferred in and we hit it off…”

Eddies sister 2 “so… that didn’t mean you couldn’t still be friends with Damon”

Eddie “David…”

Eddies sister 1 “Eddie… listen it’s fine ok… we shouldn’t have assumed maybe this will make you keep in touch with us more hey?”

*eddies phone rings*

*buck*

Eddies sister 2 “oh my god just answer it”

Eddie “no it’s fine I’ll.., I’ll just talk to him later”

Eddies sister 1 “Eddie…”

Eddie “it’s fine really”

[dangerpronebuddie]

Several Sentences Sunday!!

Tagged by @hippolotamus @tizniz who both wrote INCREDIBLE stuff y'all should show some love!! 💜🩵

Still working on my BTHB prompt! *Insert Kronk gif: oh yeah. It's all coming together.

I am about halfway through it right now, I just need Eddie to wake up. In the meantime, have some of Buck and Tommy's argument. (Again, if you'd rather not be tagged, I understand and I will make sure to alter the list for this fic 🩷):

Buck turns to face Tommy, who's staring wide eyed at the door. "What was that?" Tommy raises his eyebrows. "What was what?" "You!" Buck cries. "You're supposed to have my back, and you didn't. You know the situation well enough to understand why I-" "I don't know the situation," Tommy interjects, shrugging helplessly. "Yeah, the kid really likes you, but he's not yours." "He is," Buck says in a low voice. "Christopher is mine. In every way that matters. I didn't tell you about the will, that's on me, but you know enough. And yet you stepped in like you knew better." "Evan, he's only yours if Eddie dies," Tommy says bluntly. Buck shakes his head. For years he believed that. Never let himself think of that paper as anything beyond a fail-safe. But he knows now. He knows it is so much more than that. Eddie asked Buck to talk Christopher through dating and abandonment. Christopher came to Buck when he voiced concern about Eddie and Marisol (and Kim). So many instances, over so many years, have built the relationship he has with Christopher. It's the same relationship Buck has with Bobby. Just as paternal and loving. Dad, even if he's not a donor. "I've been a part of Christopher's life since I met him," Buck says. "Well before a legal document was even thought of." "I'm not saying you aren't important to him, kid," Tommy says, holding his hands up in surrender. "I just think you might be overstepping." "First I'm not enough, now I'm too much," Buck mutters to himself, looking at his shoes. "That's not what I meant," Tommy huffs. "Wasn't it?" Buck scoffs. "You left me on the sidewalk on our first date because you decided I wasn't ready, that I- I should be completely comfortable with myself days after you kissed me. Now you think I'm overstepping in a life I've been living for years." "You weren't ready," Tommy shrugs, like he still has some high ground. "That's not for you to decide," Buck counters, his voice rising in his frustration.

(Tags under the cut)

Absolutely no pressure tagging:

@13shadesofanni @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @loveyouanyway

@ronordmann @steadfastsaturnsrings @daffi-990 @wikiangela @kitteneddiediaz

@inell @exhuastedpigeon @spagheddiediaz @diazsdimples @thekristen999

@actuallyitsellie @daniwib @fortheloveofbuddie @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley

@rainbow-nerdss @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove

@lunarspark-cos @idealuk @shipperqueen6

@misshiss727 @likeamollusconarock @lin27 @jshadow01 @orangeboxfox92

@smallandalmosthonest @thegeekcompanion @emilybahu @lemotmo @awolfnamed-nyx

@kaseysgirl86-blog @darkrose6578 @totallynotagoraphobic @dandelioncasey and anyone else who wants to share!! 🩷🥰

[sunflowerdigs]

It's important to remember that no matter what Eddie says about Christopher, Kim is only here for Eddie. He can't introduce her to Christopher and create anything long term with her because that would be sick. So, Eddie's pursuit of Kim is fundamentally about Eddie. It's about Eddie being able to live inside this fantasy where the parts of his relationship with Shannon that didn't work don't exist. But as the flashback showed us, Eddie wasn't capable of being with just Shannon without Christopher being the glue binding them together. So the absence of Christopher in this relationship with Kim is likely what is going to finally open his eyes to the fact that his relationship with Shannon wasn't that great.

I think that Eddie's real and thriving connection to Buck has made it more and more obvious to him (subconsciously) with each passing gf that he can't make connections with these women work. So, he has inserted Christopher into those relationships in order to give them a reason to work (I think Eddie truly believes that he wants Chris to have another mother figure). And the result has been an exacerbation of Christopher's abandonment issues. Eddie encourages him to get close to these women (even after admitting that he himself isn't as close to them as he should be, in Marisol's case, which was progress) and ultimately it's not enough, the relationship ends, and Chris is abandoned. Meanwhile, who is actually playing the part a wife would play in Eddie's life? Yeah, Buck. That's why he's Christopher's other guardian in the will.

Kim may be the cold bucket of water to Eddie's head because Eddie can't insert Christopher into the relationship. It's just going to be the two of them together. And after they fuck - what's going to be there?

It's confusing because this is about grief but it's also about Eddie's sexuality. And it's about Buck, which is why the show has inserted Buck into the center of the conflict, because Buck is the one person that Eddie has managed to integrate into his life with Christopher and also care about deeply himself.

I think the resolution to this story will be Christopher's grandparents taking him to Texas with them so that Eddie can figure out what he wants when Christopher isn't there to use as a buffer. What may happen is his parents may threaten to have Christopher removed because they feel Eddie is unfit, in which case, Buck becomes the legal guardian. And so, if they don't want to take it to court and have it on record that Eddie lost custody, Buck becomes the one who has to make the call about where Christopher ends up. And that could be the thing that rips him and Eddie apart. Or it could bring them closer together if Buck can talk some sense into Eddie and make him realize just how much his issues are hurting Christopher.

(And, honestly, I think they'll go that route because, ultimately, like Ryan said, Eddie knows that he can't introduce Kim to Christopher because the relationship is a delusion. Eddie isn't a bad parent and he loves Christopher very much, he's just all tangled up in his issues).

(Or, Buck will conspire with Eddie's parents behind his back to have his kid taken away and Eddie will, rightfully, be furious with him even once he understands it's the right call).

That would explain Ryan calling next season the "new phase" of Eddie's life. And that would explain why Gavin was promoted to regular, so that they knew they'd have him for this arc.

The cheating is the wildest part, but I think people are getting so caught up in being angry at Eddie over that and wanting to see him punished, that they're forgetting that this arc isn't about punishment, it's about healing and ultimately giving both Christopher and Eddie the tools to live their best lives. So, I don't think Eddie will end the season alone - I think he and Buck will make amends and Buck will spend the hiatus by his side, helping him clean up the mess. Just like Eddie helped Buck clean up his mess back in s3.

[matan4il]

911 ep 709 first watch reactions

The way this ep starts with giving us a clear shot focused on the front, solely on Buck sitting between the man he's dating and the man he's been married to for the past six years, and only on them. XD I'm here for it.

Oh, Bobby. :( Feeling unworthy of his medal, and remembering his dad, and how everything went wrong after he got it. </3

Aaaah. Man, IDK. The openly and explicitly homophobic and racist captain cartoon just feels like an easy target now. Prejudice doesn't seem like it mostly gets expressed that way anymore, and when we only teach people to reject that kind, we not only fail to teach them to recognize subtler forms, we may be misleading them to think those more nuanced ones don't count.

Love Athena trying to "save" Bobby by contacting Amir. I'm always a sucker for a couple where they both save each other.

I enjoyed the little play with "Mother Hen," and I know it's not specifically about Buddie, but it is damn funny that when she's told she's raising more kids, they're the ones the camera focuses on. lol Raising a kid together for 6 years, still a couple of morons in desperate need of parenting from their colleagues. Even when Bobby's "wordless goodbye" moment with Buck is letting him cook for the 118, Eddie's by his side and they're doing it together. I swear, 911 said, "Take note, this is what a marriage looks like" and then just kept hammering the point for 6 seasons now.

Okay, I am pretty sure that, while Bobby's acceptance of Buck's first relationship with a guy, is really lovely, "Because we haven't had to talk about it" is not an actual good criterion for discerning whether someone is good for their partner or not. People whose spouses are abusive don't talk about it, either. :/ I am NOT saying that's Buck and Tommy, because it obviously isn't, it just feels like a line thrown in there to be cutesy, but which isn't actually helpful to people, who might take it too seriously.

I AM GONNA LOL FOREVER. So, just like Buck's bi awakening was all about Eddie, now Eddie's messed up whatever he has with Kim is gonna involve Buck, too? Gotcha. Battlefield boyfriends being off-battlefield boyfriends once more.

So... Buck was going to see Tommy, in an ep where TPTB have already paid for Lou in the role, so might as well use him as much as possible, but instead a non-emergency run in with Eddie's current whatever-Kim-is makes Buck ditch Tommy, and run straight over to Eddie's to help him? Look, I'm obviously a One True Pairing kind of shipper, so Buddie are it for me, as much as I can enjoy and see the value of Buck and Tommy as a stepping stone, and nothing will make me stop shipping Buddie (especially not after the tsunami eps), but 911 is feeding me way too well with how it frames these scenes and stories, I don't think the show's trying to get me to stop.

Man, if anyone's ever had a doubt that Eddie is the world champion at denial, this kitchen scene will def cure that.

"I'm worried about you." "Yeah, I'm worried about me, too." And then Buck, the one person who can ALWAYS penetrate through Eddie's denial wall, no matter how thick it is.

Eh, IDK how much the part where they try to re-define Shannon as the love of Eddie's life works, or how much it just serves to show he's still in denial, just a different kind than before, when Buck got through to him that he can't go on like this with Kim. For one thing, in his little retelling of their dysfunctional r/s, Eddie doesn't mention that Shannon was leaving him a second time, even before she died. Literal denial and repression.

So I'm gonna choose to believe Hen and Karen will get Mara back, because I can't deal with that particular storyline otherwise.

Kim's reaction is too deranged for me. Who does something like that, even if we assume the kindest of intentions? And then Marisol and Christopher's timing... I didn't sign on to watch a soap opera, but I guess I'm getting one free of charge?

"Now you gotta save yourself." If that ain't a painful summary of what growing up means, IDK what is. the conversation with Bobby's dad in his sleep was a good, painful scene, built right, leading to him hopefully getting his closure through saving his wife from a fire, and leaving us with just the right amount of suspension for next week and the season finale, where we'll see if he can let go of his past mistakes without a doppelganger dressing up like his dead wife...

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[itsactuallycorrine]

action & reaction

buddie; 1.6K; s08e06 spec; hopeful ending

series now complete: part 1 | part 2

Buck sits uneasily on top of the closed toilet lid, watching as a still red-cheeked and bloodshot-eyed Eddie scrapes a razor along his top lip. 

He hadn’t been certain what he’d do or say when he beelined from his loft to Eddie’s door after his revelation. There’d been a half-formed thought of talking it out, or making some big confession, a vague recollection of a line from some old movie Maddie had loved ringing in his ears about wanting to start the rest of your life as soon as possible. 

Finding Eddie in pieces on his living room floor had thrown all that out.

So had Eddie’s first words when he’d finally calmed down enough to speak:

“I want to shave this fucking mustache off.”

So now, here they are, Buck worried out of his mind and too afraid to take his sights off Eddie, while Eddie shaves his fucking mustache off.

When it’s gone, Eddie stares at himself long and hard in the mirror before cutting a glance at Buck. “So?”

Buck surveys his face and smiles a little. “Still just as handsome,” he teases, smile growing as Eddie rolls his eyes and huffs, pink blooming in the apples of his cheeks. “C’mon, man, you know what you look like. Mustache, no mustache. It doesn’t really make a difference.”

It doesn’t land the way Buck anticipated. “Yeah, I guess not,” Eddie says heavily, turning back to his own reflection. “I thought it’d—never mind, it’s stupid.”

“No, what?” Buck asks. 

“I thought it’d be easier to, you know.” He gestures to the mirror. “If I didn’t really look like myself. I could pretend for a while that I wasn’t—that it wasn’t really me this was happening to. It was happening to some other Eddie in some other fucked up timeline or universe or whatever.”

It breaks Buck’s heart even more than he’d thought possible. “Eddie…”

But Eddie shrugs it off, turning his back to the mirror and crossing his arms. “But it is me. There is no mirror Eddie to blame. I did this. I cheated on Marisol, I brought Kim into our life, I…” His voice breaks. “I drove Christopher away. I did it. But” — he sighs, runs a hand through his hair — “I didn’t do it all alone.”

For the first time in months, a spark of hope kindles in Buck’s chest. “No, you didn’t. Kim chose to come back even after you broke it off. Your parents swept Chris away without even attempting to mediate.” He hesitates. “Christopher chose to leave instead of talking it out.”

“Shannon asked for a divorce when I wanted to fix things,” Eddie adds grimly, and Buck sucks in a shocked breath.

“Y-you never told me that. When?”

“Right before she died. She, uh, thought she might be pregnant and I thought that maybe…maybe it was the sign we needed to recommit to each other. But it turns out both of us were wrong—there was no baby, and she didn’t want that, want me.” Eddie shrugs, but it falls short of casual when his shoulders slump forward miserably.

Buck stares as his head spins. He’d always wondered, hadn’t he? He’d always wondered why Eddie kept coming back to this, to Shannon, couldn’t move on no matter how hard he’d tried. Obviously, Eddie had loved Shannon, but the way he spoke about her, the way he put her on this untouchable pedestal for Christopher, who already knew his mother wasn’t perfect, the way he viewed their relationship with rose-colored glasses when Buck knew how messy it had been…it had always concerned Buck. 

But this, this was the ugly, gnarled root of the problem, one that had grown up around Eddie’s ankles, holding him in place, never letting him move on. It ensnared him, kept him caught in the moment, an awful, terrible moment with no closure. Because instead of a divorce and a definitive closed door to their marriage or a reconciliation and fresh start, Eddie watched Shannon die. The diverging path cut short right at the crossroads, the choice taken out of Eddie’s hands. 

“She said that? That she didn’t want you?” Buck asks. Even without his recent epiphany, the idea seems ludicrous. After all, who wouldn’t want Eddie? 

“Well, no,” Eddie admits. “She said she was still figuring out how to be a mother and didn’t think she was ready to be a wife, too.” 

“Okay. Well, w-were you ready to be a husband? Honestly?”

“Would I have offered if I wasn’t?” At Buck’s unimpressed stare, Eddie sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe. Probably not.” 

Buck hums. “So it seems like maybe her decision wasn’t really about you at all, then. You just had to deal with the fallout, along with some truly shitty, tragic timing.”

Eddie says with a half-amused huff, “To put it mildly.” 

“It wasn’t your fault, Eddie,” Buck says, softly. “You made mistakes, yeah, but it wasn’t all on you. You’ve gotta stop punishing yourself, man. You’re not just hurting yourself; you’re hurting Christopher.”

Eyes welling, Eddie looks at the floor and nods. “I know. And I think—I think I’m really ready to let go of it now. I am. But, God, I just… how do I move forward, Buck? I’ve been here so long that I don’t know where to go from here. How to start cleaning up my mess, to start fixing the things I let this break. How to live without this looming over me.” 

With a long, slow exhale, Buck climbs to his feet and takes Eddie by the arms, waiting until their gazes lock. “I don’t have the answers either, but we can figure it out. Together.”

A sole tear rolls down Eddie’s cheek as it swells with a shaky smile. “I can’t ask that of you.”

“You’re not asking. I’m telling you—I’m here. I’m always gonna be here for you, Eddie, as long as you let me. Always. You don’t have to figure this or anything out alone.”

Eddie just nods as a few more tears spill over. He pulls Buck into a brief, grateful hug, and Buck closes his eyes and savors it. They do this so infrequently, and he’s never understood why. Eddie’s a pretty demonstrative guy, and neither of them are shy about hugging anyone else. But it feels different when it’s them, more weighted, more meaningful—and maybe that’s why. Maybe, subconsciously, Buck knew what it meant all along and held back. 

And maybe along the way, Eddie realized it, too, and didn’t want to encourage Buck or lead him on. Buck pulls back a little uneasily as the embrace breaks, but there’s nothing in Eddie’s expression beyond lingering tears and gratitude. 

They’ve finally made their way into the kitchen, sharing coffee across the table, when Eddie cocks his head. “Did you just drop by to check on me? Or did you need something before I distracted you with all the—” He waves in the general direction of the living room, a little sheepish. 

I love you.

I’m in love with you, and I think we’ve been building a really beautiful life together. 

This, us, our family, is all I’ve ever dreamt of, and if you’d just give me one chance…

Is there any reality in which you could be in love with me, too? Could want me, too? 

But he can’t say any of it, can he? He can’t do that to Eddie now, not when he’s finally ready to shed the past and move forward, not while so many loose ends are still waiting to be resolved. 

“Nah,” Buck says, hiding his farce of a smile by taking a drink. “I guess that call at the well got to me a little and I just…wanted to see you, make sure you were okay.” 

“Okay might be a stretch.” Eddie laughs and gives Buck a soft smile. “But I’ll get there.”

“I know you will.” Buck’s lashes lower as he smiles, a little shyly, and something rolls over in Eddie’s chest, a familiar fondness trussed in ribbons of longing. 

And, look, it’s never really gone away—that tug of yearning he has for Buck, one he’s known for years—but it has been somewhat muted over the past few months while Eddie had more pressing concerns. It used to terrify him, loving Buck the way he does, because he could never reconcile it with the past, with his own identity. 

It still terrifies him, if he’s being honest, because once he digs himself out of the hole he’s created, he’s going to have to reckon with this once and for all, the looming specter over his shoulder that he’s avoided looking at for over three decades. 

He’d been able to cope when he’d thought it was just a pipe dream, when there was no way—even if Eddie did face all his demons head on—Buck would ever feel the same. But then Tommy had come along and fractured that foundational belief, and was it any wonder that Eddie had blown up his own life right after that? 

But here in the aftermath of an emotional day, in the quiet intimacy of the kitchen, it doesn’t seem nearly as scary. Not when Buck’s face is a pretty pink over the rim of his coffee cup, his heart stalwart and steadfast and too damn generous. He hasn’t run from Eddie’s mess, not ever, and he’s just promised to stand by Eddie’s side as he pieces his life back together. How could Eddie do anything but love Buck? 

And for the first time, that feels like more of a blessing than a curse. It’s the light at the end of a very dark tunnel, leading him home, with the hope and faith that Buck will be there waiting for him when he arrives. 

ao3

[iconicbuck]

Here's what I thought.

Buck and Eddie's scene in the kitchen when Buck found out that Eddie's planning to move to El Paso was all at the surface. The problem with them is that they never talk about the real issue here.

Buck found out and the plan. He was shocked at first but kept his emotions and extends his hand to help him find a better house. Yeah, Buck is always willing to help. He's that kind of guy. But in this scene, a part of him didn't want to cross a line - a line he didn't know how or what to do.

Then here's Eddie, who initially wanted to hide his plans from Buck for some reason. But then when he told him about his plans, which is admirable for a longing father, that's it. Didn't even thought about the consequences. Just like what he did when he left the 118.

The real issue with them was so loud in this scene. They never talk. They're not totally honest about themselves. Like there's an invisible line that they're too afraid to cross. Like what happened to the shooting. Like what happened to Buck with the sperm donor. Like what happened to Eddie with Kim, with Ana, with Marisol, with Chris running away to Buck's late at night. To Buck asking Taylor to move in after he kissed Lucy. To almost losing each other. The shooting, the tsunami, the lightning strike. The WILL.

They talk but never talk about what it means all these things to them.

Eddie's smile when Buck said he's gonna be his wingman and help him find a house is not a happy smile. It's a kind of a disappointed smile. A smile that was asking. A smile that needs help and assurance. A sad smile to tell him to not go and find other ways to bring his son back.

Buck's no better either. His easy happy-go spirit to help was just a facade at that moment like Eddie's. A few seconds of realization hits him that he's gonna be alone. A few seconds of a future without Eddie and Chris.

This scene could've been resolved if they're only honest with each other. If only Eddie will ask Buck's opinion and help him think of other options. If only Buck will tell him that it's not a good idea and help him think of other options - problem solved!

Buck and Eddie are so good with helping each other for other people. But they're so stupid not thinking about to help each other for each other.

What they need is just a TALK!

Damn it!

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Okay, but like looks at pitch notecards... pulls the Pepe Silvia board back out again because this is a goofy idea.

So, you're Kim.

The show that you thought would start your career falls apart within the first season. You're working retail. You've basically given up on your acting dreams. You got bangs because this man you were kind of dating said you looked exactly like his wife, so you decided to get the guy to do some cathartic roleplay with you. You accidentally help him blow up his entire life.

It's been a time for Kim.

Then.

You get a call from your agent.

That last show you were on? The showrunner has a semi-recently made show with a few seasons under its belt.

Hotshots.

They need a new firefighter for the show and the showrunner remembered Kim! Loved Kim! Wants Kim to pick up this guest role that has the potential of becoming a recurring character.

She decides, yeah. Fuck yeah. I can do this. This will be good for me.

She gets a contract for a few episodes.

She acts her heart out.

The show loves her so much that they expand her role; she's going to be there at least until the end of the season.

Everything's turning up Kim.

She even gets a love interest! A backstory! A career goal on the show!

Kim even reaches out to Marisol and apologizes for her behavior. And Marisol is cool with her now! They get coffee sometimes!

But

Then.

She finds out that the firefighter consultant is from the 118 originally, and that sounds familiar.

And when she tags along with Bobby to see a plane emergency in real life, well, isn't that Buck guy familiar too?

Wait.

Is that Eddie at the emergency?

That can't be right.

She tries to brush it off.

Until.

She has to shadow a firehouse to do character research. And she decides to shadow Bobby because Bobby's the best.

But then she notices that she's been to this fucking fire station before.

And then she notices that this is the fucking firehouse of her sort-of-not-ex, Eddie Diaz.

She has to spend the whole day with him. She gives Eddie a heart-to-heart about the not-relationship they had; about her own parenting struggles (because she does have a kid. The kid lives with her ex in Reno or something and she does regret not reaching out to that kid more often, not doing more). She helps Eddie figure out what he should do about his problems with Chris, which also helps her figure out her own problems with her own child.

And now she has to deal with the fact that her not-quite-ex gets the reward of playing a nurse on her TV show.

But.

Well.

At least she still has the dream job. And maybe, she'll reach out to that kid of hers and try to reconnect too.

And idk, I think this would have been more interesting than Brad.

[mmso-notlikethat]

I liked that Buck seemed, for once, really pissed at Hen and Eddie for taking his phone. Sure, friends should help you stay strong when dealing with a break-up but coming from a bunch of people who are ALL on their second or third try with their person (or tried to with a doppelgänger), it just looked a bit rich. I was never a fan of Hen trying to talk Chim out of marrying Maddie or how they all talked about Abby when she left, especially when they did plenty of fighting, fleeing the state and cheating in their own relationships. Bucks break ups were all the hight of civil and amicable in contrast

Not the doppelgänger please I'm trying to erase that from my memory 💀

I get what you are saying. The problem is they have to choose one of those to show, either the funny friendship banter and protectiveness, in the end buck did get dumped, and everyone else don't know the whole story, so the logical thing is to not let him text/call him.. or the side where they have a deep conversation and try to suggest a more logical solution (like the eddie and buck convo in 7.05) .. and they chose the comedic path, which isn't bad honestly I'm not mad at that cuz no body actually bad mouthed tommy, they were just trying to do the basic logical thing, giving the circumstances.. so good to know they are still all friends to some level 🤷🏻‍♀️

And about their own relationships, you see whats different is every other character actually chose to persuade and go after their partner no matter what advice was given to them.

I don't exactly remember what happened with hen and chim when she cheated in s1, but iirc chim just brushed it off and they laughed (hen saying something like i feel like I'm a different person, and chim saying you are still a lesbian no? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you get my point). And hen was the one who fought for karen, she didn't wait for someone to tell her to do that

The same thing goes for chimney, even tho his bestie told him not to go after maddie, he didn't listen, he explained that he have to, and did what he needed to do. And even with Tatiana, yes hen explicitly told him she doesn't like her and he doesn'towe her anything, but he still talked to her to have a closure (again i don't remember which happened first)

Eddie? Well, that's a whole different path lol but yeah, even him he does what HE wants to do and what feels right despite what consequences he could suffer from, and what advices he get from people around him (giving Shanon a second chance, marisol moving in/out, Kim's whatever *gesture a hand* situation) you get it

Except buck 🤷🏻‍♀️ buck listens to people around him way too much, and yeah, most of the time, they do give him good advice, and things work out to a level, but a good advice doesnt always equal what you need, and sometimes the good advice is only good in theory cuz other people aren't actually living the situation, and definitely don't have the full Picture.. hopefully, this time buck does choose what he needs to do, that would actually be a great growth for his character

And one more point, the phone snatching is literally the most annoying move between friends, so i get him lol

[rosstrytobe]

HOW I THINK THIS IS JUST THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS EDDIE DIAZ GAY ARC PT. 1

You know that you love a character so much that you have all the explanations of why he's acting the way is doing now

Yes the cheating part sucks but if we see trough it

Eddie's not cheating Marisol with another woman

He's cheating with a woman he remembers his ex dead wife

And that's just realive how much he still proccessing Shanon death and he didn’t do it in the right way at first when he was supposed to talk about it with Frank in s3

However if we saw why he didn’t that's just a scene it comes in my mind and how it's important understand that maybe Eddie is just using a doppleganger of his wife as an exuse to something he faced at a special bachelor party 👀👀

Let's go first:

1)In s3 Bobby said to Eddie to talk about his feelings for grieving Shanon because Eddie was self distructing himself with the illegal fights -> Eddie talks about it with Frank but then he said to Buck that therapy wasn’t for him and then this scene happens:

And what Eddie said after?

Yeah. He didn’t need anymore the therapy because he was happy with the people he have now in that moment (his son and Buck)

2) In this season we saw Eddie talking with Bobby again about the Nun thing and Eddie is afraid and confused about why he can't commit to any of his past relantionships with women and why now he's having Chatolic Guilt regards Marisol -> Bobby said to him that Eddie doesn’t have a problem of commit to certain things (👀👀) and one of them is Shanon but Eddie always said that he married her just because of Christopher and he had some kind of duty towards her

He doesn’t regret being married to her but he never said that he actually was in love with her and that's a thing that even Michael felt when he married with Athena. Michael never regreted to marry her and have his children with Athena but we know from s1 that he's a gay man

But maybe just because Eddie now is scared that he will never commit to a woman. As with Marisol. He's just pretend that in this doppleganger he can find what he's missing as a female role for Christopher but as Bobby said to him he already commit in other things in his life like:

(😫😫😫😫)

3) All the dialogue with Marisol last episode i think he meant something. She asked him if Eddie was okay and even though Eddie said that he's fine. Marisol asked him again if it was a truth or a lie. And even though Eddie said it was truth we know he's not okay. He's again romanticed his marriage with Marisol out of blue because he just saw her in another woman and his false memories of her are just coming through his mind because he wants to get attached to that feeling. Because in his mind he was happy with Shanon and his marriage with her was perfect. Like the scene with Marisol that just show how him, Christopher and Marisol looked as the perfect ready made family. Like with someone else:

But we know he had panics attacks just of the thought of him, Ana and Christopher being a family and maybe this time is trying to not have them since he learned from therapy how to control them. But why he's trying to pretend to be in a perfect relantionship?

If we thinks about it Eddie seems more like he's living in his own telenovela for how the scenes went with Kim and Shanon but that's a way to not copy with something that it's happening in reality like the fact that he didn’t want Marisol to live with him anymore and he was having sexual problems with her after he figure it out she was a nun. Then he talked about it with Buck and he said to him that he wanted to break up with her but then what made him change his mind?

Yep. It’s just took Buck coming out to him to made him rethink about his relantionship with Marisol and made her moving out. Eddie of course supports him. Buck is his best friend. But support someone and see with your eyes that your bestfriend is indeed bisexual is something else. Because Eddie loves Buck as Ryan said he loves him to the core. But see Buck with Tommy just makes him a little pissed off

You can see it from how just an hug made him bite his lips with an angry mood and also what he said after just proves how much he's jealous of them. Then he spent all night making killing eye to Tommy as he did something wrong and we saw even Eddie watching Tommy yawing as if he's interest in what Tommy is doing. Later everyone leaves incluse Tommy, Buck and Eddie spent all night togheter being closer than ever. And we saw how much they were connecting their neurons togheter and in someway i think Eddie got that with no one he had ever have this much of connection. And that's why i think he's scared to analyze that emotion and he wants to hide it because he doesn’t get why he's jealous of Tommy and why he knows that nobody could ever be Buck

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞

just read august yesterday and completely fell in love w natalia and marisol!! you wrote eddie and buck sooooo well from an outsider pov loved the dynamic of the four of them all knowing different info and being messy and in love 🥰

so excited for more dove 🕊️ (kinda obsessed w her and eddie’s relationship 😊)

AHHH THANK YOU! So glad you liked August and that you're liking this.

81 for 🪞:

---

“Look, do you want to be alone right now? Or do you think you should be?” 

Eddie’s features scrunch. He opens his mouth to argue, then pauses. Buck has his ticket. 

“Come on,” Buck presses.

“Fine,” Eddie sighs. “Thank you.”

“Follow me home?” Buck asks. 

Eddie just nods.

▪️▪️▪️

“Things were getting better, and then they got worse,” Eddie says. They’re sitting on Buck’s couch, a mug of herbal tea in Eddie’s hands.  “I don’t know what happened, Buck.”

“Well, what, uh, what do you mean worse?” Buck asks. He wasn’t sure things could get worse between Eddie and Chris. 

Eddie shrugs. He looks so helpless. He twists his mouth to the side in a way that makes his mustache sit lopsided on his face. 

“For a few weeks, we were actually talking,” Eddie says. “I thought maybe he was starting to forgive me. We even… I mean we really talked about what happened with Kim.”

“Wow,” Buck exhales. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“I didn’t want to overpromise,” Eddie mutters. 

He didn’t want to give Buck hope? Or he didn’t want to get his own hopes up?

“So what changed?” Buck asks. 

Eddie inhales. “That’s the thing it was… It was just sudden. One day, not long after Halloween, he was back to hating me.”

They’d had a good Halloween. A really good one. Dove had dressed up as an alligator. Her choice. They’d taken her trick-or-treating with the other 118 kids. Buck might have gone overboard posting photos. There’s one of Eddie pretending to be afraid as Dove gives her best menacing expression that he can’t seem to stop looking at. 

“He doesn’t hate you,” Buck says. 

“Really?” Eddie retorts. “Because one day he’s saying he might be open to talking about coming home. The next time we call? He’s staying in Texas for at least the rest of the year.”

“Whoa,” Buck shakes his head. “What? Something must have happened. Did your parents say something?”

Buck doesn’t trust them. 

“I don’t know,” Eddie says again, frustration growing. “I don’t know, Buck. He said he changed his mind. Wanted to stay until Thanksgiving. I said, okay. If that’s what he wants, I won’t force him. Then he said he’d stay until Christmas, and I… I don’t know. I got frustrated. He hung up. He’s not taking my calls.”

Buck rubs his temples. He’s frustrated, too. He doesn’t want to feel frustrated with Christopher. He misses him so fucking bad, he doesn’t want to feel at all mad. But maybe he is. Just a little. Maybe he just wishes Chris would cut his dad a break. He feels horrible and unfair for even thinking about it. Seeing Eddie hurting this much, though? It’s wounding something in Buck, too.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles, when he sees Buck’s expression. 

“No. No, don’t be sorry,” Buck insists. “I just… I don’t…”

“Yeah,” Eddie sighs. “Me too.” 

“What can I do?” Buck asks. “Seriously, Eddie. How can I help?”

[whollyjoly]

hey so you know how devin kelley said she and oliver have a scene as kim and buck this season??

...yeah i DEFINITELY think we're going to get an uno reverse of the crashed date from 7x05, where buck and tommy are going to be out and about and run into eddie and kim, which leads to some...Awkward Conversations 👀👀

(bonus points if we see eddie ask buck to babysit chris cause he's going on a date with marisol, only for buck to say no caues he has his own plans, and then they run into eddie with kim. the DRAMA)

((double bonus points if we get an 📢📢 EDDIE 📢📢 thats even louder than the buck heard round the world))

y'all this is gonna be MESSY and i cannot WAIT

[sortasirius]

"Ashes, Ashes" and Eddie Diaz's Grief

This entire post is just about Eddie, literally him and him alone lol

Good lord what a stressful fucking episode.

Just to start off, after Buck meets KIM WHEN SHE JUST SWAGS ON IN TO THE FIREHOUSE WITH HER BROWNIES, the way Eddie opens the back door like he's not sure who would be there, only for him to scoff when Buck asks if he can come in...it's giving "this is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest."

"Eddie...who's Kim?"

And Eddie immediately turning away from him and picking up dishes to put in the sink...yeah my man how's that denial taste?

"Marisol's my girlfriend. Kim's just...a friend."

"Just a friend who's a...dead ringer for your late wife?"

I don't think there's anyone else in the world who could talk like this to Eddie. I genuinely think he would turn tail and run if it was anyone else.

I noticed when Eddie says that "nothing's going on" he has an eerily similar expression on his face when Ana showed up to the firehouse. And Buck clocked him then, too.

"It's not even what I want from her."

"Okay. So what do you want?"

"I...don't know."

And that's it. That's Eddie's narrative arc. He doesn't want Shannon. He thinks he does, he's so lost in this fantasy of having her back, of doing things "right this time" that he's convinced himself that, if he could just have her alive again, everything would be perfect. He doesn't want Marisol, we know that, but he doesn't want Kim either. And if I'm honest, he wouldn't want Shannon if he had her back.

What does Eddie want? What does he really want? It's a question none of us can answer. In fact, I don't even think Eddie can answer it right now.

"Does this poor woman know that she is a carbon copy of your dead wife?"

Absolutely brutal line. Wake his ass up, Buck!!!!

"I'm worried about you."

"Yeah. I'm worried about me too."

I AM ALSO VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU EDDIE!!!

Insane that after one (1) conversation with Buck, Eddie decides to come clean to Kim. The power that he holds.

"Have you been spending time with me? Or with her?"

What a fucking gut punch of a line.

"I didn't realize how much I...missed her. Then I saw you."

This is the thing!!! It's almost like he feels like seeing Kim somehow gives him a second chance with Shannon. If he could just have Shannon back, if he could just do it all over again, he would do it right. They would finally have that happy, perfect relationship that he remembers, he would finally be the best husband that he could be, Chris would finally be happy.

He doesn't seem to get that Chris is already happy. OF COURSE he misses his mom, he always will, and Eddie will always miss Shannon, but dragging in this person that just happens to look like her to cling to this semblance of a perfect marriage that never even existed in the first place? Yikes, my guy.

"I guess she was the love of your life."

"I think she was. Yeah. Though I'm not sure I knew at the time."

Because what he remembers isn't real!!! He's whitewashed this relationship to the point that it's not recognizable. She's the love of his life...that he ran away from before she even gave birth to enlist in the army. The love of his life that he reenlisted to stay away from. The love of his life that he fought with constantly. The love of his life that left him a few months after he was discharged. The love of his life that asked him for a divorce days before she died.

I'm not saying relationships are all sunshine and rainbows, but we saw next to none of that with Shannon and Eddie. The sex was good, they both loved Chris, they cared for each other deeply...but love of his life?

I don't even know that he would be able to identify what that even means for him.

I think his grief has taken so much from him, he can vocalize how much time they spent apart in their marriage, how so much of it didn't work, but it's like it doesn't get all the way through to him. Kim is right when she says they have unfinished business, because that's what happens when you lose someone unexpectedly like that. It's clear Eddie has never gotten over it, maybe never even tried to process it, but seeing Kim brought it all back to the surface, similar to how realizing that all of the people in his unit were dead brought up his untreated PTSD.

He so carefully bottles everything up until it explodes, and this is no different, we're just seeing the explosion and the fallout of something he has tried to tamp down for five years.

Look y'all, I felt as bad for Kim as anybody could, she did not deserve to be used as a pawn in Eddie's strange journey with grief, but for her to show up with those fuck ass bangs and basically cosplay as Shannon to try and get Eddie to open but about his grief???? WHAT ARE WE DOING????

I think ultimately, this comes down to the fact that Kim is trying, in a very weird, very misguided way, to do a good thing. Eddie said he never got closure, and was trying to use her for that closure, so she thought that, if she just dressed up like Shannon, she could help him move on from her.

But for her, this is an acting job. For Eddie (and for Chris), the loss of Shannon is very, very real.

"Who's Kim?" WAS FUCKING CRAZY. ABSOLUTE FREAK ENERGY.

"I know I wasn't a perfect husband, I did my fair share of running too."

Babe...you ran the whole ENTIRE time...

"I came back because I couldn't imagine a life without...without you."

I'm so fascinated by this delivery, because is he looking at Kim and having a hard time saying that? Or is he looking at SHANNON and having a hard time saying that?

"And you know what? I still can't. But I'm still living it. But it's broken. I'm broken. And I can't fix it. This is the life I have now. This is the life from now on. The life...without you. You were supposed to be here with me, baby. And now you're not. And you never will be."

First of all...Ryan Guzman...actor that you are.

This monologue is so heartbreaking because that grief is still such a raw nerve. He's stuck in that moment in the back of the ambulance. wishing that he had done things differently.

But the thing is...Kim is talking to him as a person that she doesn't know, as a person who never existed.

Eddie asks why he never got a letter, but he doesn't mention that she wanted a divorce. He can mention all the times he left her, or she left him, or even the fights they had, but he can't seem to ever remember, ever think about that. His speech seems doubled sided. It's not just that she left them when she died...it's that she was going to leave him before, WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE. It's that she didn't want to make things work and he never got to ask her why.

And then...the other shoe.

"Mom?"

I think we all knew Chris would find out one way or another, and while I hope that conversation with "Shannon" was healing for Eddie, it is going to set Chris back years. Because he doesn't know that it's not her! For all he knows, his mom is back again, answering that Christmas wish he asked for five years ago all over again.

I'm gonna be honest, I love Eddie so much, more than anything, but I was...pretty fucking pissed the moment they walked through that door and he called Kim "mom." Because it was SELFISH, and Eddie has never been allowed to be selfish, not once in all his life, and I wish I could support this selfishness now, but not at the cost of Chris. AND I KNOW EDDIE FEELS THE SAME WAY! This is going to fuck him up just as much as it fucks Chris up!

I know that Tim has talked about how season 7 is kind of a mirror for season 4. He's trying to get back to that narrative and tell the story he wants to tell again. If we look at that, we know that Eddie is incapacitated (shot) at the end of season 4, and that, after his recovery, he tells Buck that he's in his will, that he will get Chris if something happens to him.

Well. Something is really happening to him now. And they couldn't have Eddie near death again, but what if he becomes incapable of taking care of Chris in another way? We know that Helena and Ramon are in the last episode too...what if someone calls them, and they plan to take Chris back to Texas, only for it to be revealed to them that Buck is the one that gets Chris, not them?

This plotline was so strange in so many ways, but I think it served a very specific purpose for Eddie to begin to move beyond his grief over Shannon. And while we are, in no way, finished with the fallout of it, I hope that this conversation with Kim will help him be able to move forward with his life, instead of sticking himself in relationships he thinks he needs to be in to fill the void in his life that he thinks Shannon left.

And yes, I'm a Buck and Eddie truther until the day I die, but I really just want Eddie to begin to process this raw grief, because this was clearly the first time he had even tried.

It seems like we have A LOT to deal with in the finale, and with everything going on, I'll be interested to see the aftermath of this moment, and how it effects Eddie and Chris' relationship in particular.

[moxfan1]

The writers and Tim Minear were able to bring Bobby/Athena, Chim/Maddie, and Hen/Karen together over the years…but they are fully incapable of giving Buck and Eddie love interests that matter and mean something. I know that Oliver and Ryan have very powerful on/screen chemistry that’s hard to match but my god…Buck/Tommy is just not working for me and don’t even get me started on the Eddie/Marisol/Kim mess. (Hopefully Eddie is done with both of them)

The writers need to get it together in season 8. They will have more wiggle room with more episodes to work with. If they aren’t putting Eddie and Buck together (THEY SHOULD)…AT LEAST PUT THEM IN MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS THAT THE AUDIENCE WILL ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT.

I feel like a broken record every year when it comes to this topic. Season 8 has to be the season…and if it’s not…then when?? (Nothing beyond season 8 is guaranteed yet).

They did finally have Buck discover his bisexuality and had Eddie move on from Shannon even if it was in a very bizarre way. The path is as clear as it’ll ever be. So yeah…season 8 has to be the season. Sigh…I’m tired guys…