#with a lot of comic influences too
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ayoungeststark · 9 months ago
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I think I'm going to start doing the same thing here that I'm doing on my other blog, and start focusing more on being more comic book-inclined or at least a lot more mixed rather than focusing on the mcu.
It's not that I like the mcu, but I feel like it limits me and Logan a lot, and forces me to be stuck with some stuff that I don't really like. There are a lot more things to explore using the comic book world, a lot more characters to use and things like that so… yeah. It’s a change I’d like to make. Some differences I’d be implementing in my replies/threads right away would be:
Tony's alive.
The avengers are still a thing ( it could be the mcu team with the original six and some others or the current one from the comics that i really like )
The x-men/fantastic four/all the other heroes exist, and Logan knows ( at least by reputation ) all of them.
Logan grew up alongside the Avengers and is friends with other young heroes/other children of the Avengers ( say Frank & Valeria Richards, Katie Barton, Gerry Drew, Mayday Parker & some ocs too bc why not. Also Riri, Harley, Kate, Cassie, Billy & Tommy & more ! )
SHIELD still exists too
And some other things that i’ll be implementing with time ( bc I can't remember everything right now ).
I’ll still be exploring the mcu timeline and some points that i find interesting too but it’s just not gonna be set in stone you know ? If we write together and you prefer to strictly follow the mcu timeline that's okay, you can let me know and we're doing this. But if not, you'll notice that i'll leave things a bit more open to new possibilities
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turtleblogatlast · 9 months ago
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Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose#raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner#leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes#(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl)#(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink)#(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him)#but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone#like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like#‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be’#or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like#‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’#‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’#‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’#‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘#SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF#(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)
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lorebird · 2 months ago
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In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.
#my art#gravity falls#Stanford pines#ford pines#bill cipher#comic#eye strain#TIME TO DUMP EVERY ONE OF THE 27483949 THOUGHTS IVE HAD INTO THE TAGS BABY#OK!! SO!!!!#I feel like Ford would wonder why he and Stan (being identical twins) aren’t. yk. identical. shouldn’t Stan have polydactyly too?#as a kid he would dream about secretly being nonhuman and being whisked away to a fantastical world full of people like him#finally free of new jersey‚ finally somewhere he belongs#a lot of this disconnect from humanity came from utterly failing at social interactions while others (including stan) navigated them easily#the feeling waned after Stan was kicked out and he didn't have that direct comparison but it never left#then out in the wilderness of gravity falls‚ his isolation and immersion in Weirdness dragged it back up to the forefront#he deserves to have a breakdown over questioning his own nature. as a treat <3#color symbolism time bc I have a problem and use it at every available moment!!! blue and yellow get more vivid#the further from humanity the subject is#bill is entirely made w pure rgb blue and yellow (+ approximately 2674835 textures/layers/blending modes. I reached 150+ layers. help)#I like the idea that he would appear to ford like pure math considering hes a geometrical motherfucker and how the rest of the mindscape wa#I tried to mostly use trigonometry and related stuff for the Math Greebling. as well as fractals i love you forever fractals#MORE SYMBOLISM:#the grid-ish diamond pattern in all of the mindscape bgs (and elsewhere) is a penrose diagram of spacetime#which shows other universes on the other sides of black holes#SOMEONE ASK ME ABOUT MY EUCLYDIA HEADCANON LATER. IVE DUMPED ENOUGH DUMB HCS IN THESE TAGS ALREADY#BUT I THINK ITS VERY FUN#anyways. fuckt up guys n their egos influencing how they view humanity. bill tells ford hes as human as they come bc he was so easily foole#ford cant reconcile with his humanity bc of a failure to perform in one area#and then the immense guilt and shame over what hes done <3#I have So many ford characterization thoughts. no man nor god can stop me
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a2zillustration · 8 months ago
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Good for you, Wyll (:
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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
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pigdemonart · 1 year ago
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I think its really cute that Manuel gets the most love from comments! I think he deserves it, because even I have dubbed him as the Best Boy. But, Mani has mixed feelings about receiving praise and being considered the favorite. He’d sooner think people are lying to him than believe they actually like him that much. Because, why would they?
His view of himself comes from years of being stuck in the middle.
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mar-im-o · 2 years ago
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triglycercule · 10 days ago
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horror's about to get his shit rocked i guess but its ok he got to say a cool line. anyways i had this silly little idea :3 horror deserves to be the one inflicting pain onto killer sometimes anyways it can't ALWAYS be killer being sadistic 😒😒😒
#killer got a bit too silly and horror had to put him in line#and by a bit too silly i mean do the wrong thing at the wrong time (when horrors in a bad mood)#i had this idea all throughout school broooo BROOOOO they hate eachother so much why do they stick around#if it were dust doing it he'd do it in silence or maybe rambling a lot of stuff really quietly to himself#but nooo horror likes to rub it in killer's face and oh shiiiit stage 3 RUUUUN#its ok its ok horror dont worry ill protect you with my totally awesome creator powers!#and then they made up and kissed dont worry this was all consensual#dust's bitches get a bit freaky sometimes dont worry it was ALL planned totally not spontaneous#i think this is one of (if not the only) times ive ever DRAWN out my short little ideas#usually i just like. imagine it and then type it out and have to figure out how to make it a hc or rant or wtvr#but i really didn't think i could capture this idea in anything but art. see this is why i dont particularly like my artstyle#this looks SO silly and goofyUGH!!!! if only my art didn't look like an 11 yro drew it#this is totally horrorkiller btw this is ship art :3#thinking about that five finger filet draft i have again about hrkl FUCK i need to actually edit that one#horror's new design looks so cool here UGH THE CLOAK!!! ITS SO SIMPLE BUT ADDS SO MUCH!!!!#mtt are one big echo chamber of negative reinforcement and improvement#they all learn to not piss eachother off but not because they respect eachother#but just because none of them wanna deal with the fighting or the insults#hey i mean...... if it works it works i guess! don't fix what's broken!#besides it's better like this anyways. what's that? actually be vulnerable and learn to accept eachother? you sound mad#they can get their therapy and positive influences ELSEWHERE!!!! TOGETHER THEY SUCK ‼️‼️‼️‼️#alright time to make some progress on swapinverse :3 i've actually been doing a lot lately!!!!#if i dont finish crash's extra facts section today let's just say that you wont be hearing from me. forever. becaus ill be killing myse#tricule art#maybe i should start the comic now...... :3333 mayhaps#NEED TO FINISH CHARACTER LORE AND THEN ACTUAL STORY AND THEN CAN MAKE COMIC
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bmpmp3 · 4 months ago
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vocal synths and winter designs
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#kigashima sourin#wakamatsu akashi#kurono takehiro#aoyama ryuusei#shirakami kotarou#voicevox#also ryuusei has his a.i.voice bank. and a second one coming i think#DREW THIS to warm up because ive been a little messed up from a chronic flareup thingy#but i wanted to draw <3 so you can see it got sloppier as i went on. the sketch was stick figures <3 <3 <3 <3#i do wanna draw more of my headcanons of their characterizations and interactions more. i must draw more sloppy comics. I MUST#i kind of lean into akashi as the straightman to shenanigans when takehiros not around#i think hes very sweet and kind but has more of an edge than he lets on. a little more exasperated than he lets on sometimes LOL#its partially because hes 26 and i. also am 26. hes just like me for REAAALhjfehjbkfldsjfkdsd#hes doing his best. hes surrounded by weirdos. but maybe hes a bit of a weirdo himself....#and i lean into sourins influencer mode a lot. online king. grandpa is killing it on the gram watch out.#and of course i lean into kotarou not paying attention to anything and ryuusei not taking things too deeply unless he has a good reason LOL#and i really imagine takehiros fashion to be kinda of bad. sorry. his normal outfits are fine like his genbu is great and his vv is cute#but i imagine him dressing. oddly. i think he has to be forced away from his old middle school gym shorts in the winter. the classic#wait hold on i just remember the united states of america. hold on. okay -20 celcius is apparently -4 farenheit
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asheoninactive · 9 months ago
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Sorry for more AU posting but here’s more quick strega ken sketches I did at work. Featuring Chidori cuz I love her dearly and I think their relationship in the AU would be neat
#strega!ken AU#kenposting#Ken amada#chidori yoshino#they both make me want to eat glass /pos#so it’s only natural this AU would have a focus on them#Chidori looking out for him#she goes out of her way to get him the featherman pins on his jacket (as seen in the comic I tried to doodle)#(Ken insisted she keeps one too. which is why she also has a featherman pin on her jacket. she doesn’t get it but oh well#they both don’t fear death but despite it all Chidori feeling some sort of protection towards him#Ken doesn’t fear death because :motions towards October 4th:#so once he gets his revenge he’s planning on going just like canon#but while Shinji is like . still getting his suppressants Ken is still oblivious that his mom’s killer is in front of him#Shinji is also watching out for him but it’s so much less indirect#he wants Ken to get out of there because strega aren’t very good influences#as would one assume of a hit man service#his sense of justice is much more murky in this AU. like yeah a hit man service is very clearly evil#but is it really#many of their clients are getting revenge. just like he is#like he interrogates this idea in his head a lot#in this AU#often questioning clients’ purposes for their hits#often questioning clients purpose forgor their hit#unlike the other three who don’t necessarily ask questions#sorry I’m just rambling about ideas and how Ken would interact in this hypothetical AU#i love being extremely self indulgent#putting my favs in situations together
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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year ago
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Gem fusion au with a cryptid batman AND supernatural prince of Gotham Bruce Wayne.
In the eleventh hour the city is saved by the world famous demon creature finding the mysteriously missing prince and, in an act of true sacrifice and love for the rotten city, Bruce Wayne miraculously performs a perfect fusion with the monster, the glittering jewellery of status now adorning sweeping wings and fitting perfectly to the symbol in its chest, a diamond and pearl crown floating between two enormous pointed ears.
#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#batfam#Just imagining how a cryptid batman (real or not) would combine with a literal prince of Gotham and the image struck me so clearly#I had to share#Like. Vampire king style thing#B being able to combine his royal powers and influence with his capabilities as the bat#Maybe his bat powers are FROM his royal powers#But so much glittering and swoopy silver jewellery... A clear night sky. A city skyline in monochrome.#Gotham harbor reflecting the lights of the fishing boats and tankers and cruise ships#Two people famous for never ever fusing except with a trusted handful (all the same people + supes)#Wayne refuses to talk about his experience with the bat and everyone wonders how traumatising it must have been#LOTS of white prince/dark knight fic/art from the Gotham girlies#All of it objectively stunning. They all put Bruce in white suits. He's Gothams darling. Their sunshine airhead with a heart of gold#And a spine of steel if you push him but no one really does that so it's only whispers#And the infamous half mythical batman. Black knight. Tall. Mysterious. Possessive exceptionally dangerous so very very kind and loyal too#But if he's magic he could harm superman. Supes tries to stop him from going too far on his enemy (who won't DIE but)#And the 'dark prince/vampire king fusion' almost claws his nose off for trying to get between him and the guy who pushed him that far#Someone gets a side profile candid (Tim) and it's the end of Gotham journalling it is the ONLY thing that gets printed alongside articles#Like;;;;
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sysig · 1 year ago
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Just thinking about @10yrsy’s Things, y’know, casually (Patreon)
#Doodles#IZ#I know Things is long dead but I've been feeling rather nostalgic lately#Man let alone Irkens when was the last time I doodled a Latrodectus haha - and 10's style of antenna! It's all quite nostalgic#I'll try not to get Too sappy but it's hard when I was so inspired by Things! It had a big impact on me#Without exaggeration Things helped shape the trajectory of my life for quite a while - it's interesting to think about artistic influences#But gosh heck I don't think I've doodled anything of any of them since the song contest all those years ago lol#I like to think I've improved a bit since then lol ♪ Though the medium is quite different haha#Finally drew Nid! Only took a Very long time lolol#I do remember having doodled some Extreme roughs for a comic concept ages and ages ago but that's really all I remember lol#Maybe hunting down those old notebooks sometime would be fun haha#ANYway lol - enough reminiscing! There's all this current silliness!#Snarp was my favourite back in the day and I still like him a lot haha#He's a prickly little so-and-so! A cute and spicy lad! Always a fun ♪#If ''little meow meow'' had existed as a term back then I would've used it for him lol he deserves it#It really is about the [unforgivable nature] paired with [unconditional love] hhh their friendship is still really cute <3#Myk! He's always had the most gorgeous design <3 His eyes! My word!#Beauty like that really doesn't age - I was always a fan of the close up of his eye and his skin texture ahh#Probably no one remembers this blog's original icon but hmm ♪ Inspiration down many many avenues haha#Hopefully I did his eyes justice with my limited traditional palette haha#Had to show off his muscles a little too <3 Those gloves man he's just a pretty dude!#I did a bit of editing magic with Nid so if his eyeline doesn't quite match up just sshhhshshshh it's fine lol ♪#Who's saying which and who's gasping hmmm who knows it's a mystery hehe#And ending off with those two again <3 It's their dynamic I swear I just jdslfdsf it gets me bad lol#Squish him hold him (gently (maybe not that gently)) haha
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seaglassdinosaur · 1 year ago
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I find it low-key funny that we get individual episodes that explore Joe and Sam’s ethnic, cultural, and familial heritage, and then Fred is just over there. With his hecking. Baseball cap.
#he truely is The white boy of the group#and yes Sam is white too#but Fred is White#while Sam is polish-American (right? it was Poland?)#if they did a second season they might’ve gone into his background#but if I rebooted it I might like to explore the dynamic of white cultural disconnection for Fred#because sam and Joe know where they’re from. their families held onto that stuff#but Fred doesn’t have that ep. maybe there’s a class project and he sees Sam and Joe having a great time w their family trees and cultures#and he wants to understand that better. or feels miffed that his ancestors gave up their culture in coming to America#freida’s there too but da da da. plot#and the Freds get to meet and witness their ancestors both in their home country#and the struggles of immigrating. of the difficult choice between assimilation and maintaining a unique cultural ID#and then F and F understand that and the gang also witnesses the blends of culture within the US#so like. Italian-American cuisine. the Jewish-American influence and comic creation#something else I don’t know a lot of stand-out mixed American-immigrant cultural points#but the point is. the Freds come to identify more with their background and feel better about it#(I want slightly heavier subject matter see? them understanding the difficult pull immigrants had to deal with back in the day and still do#and them not resenting those who came over for not carrying on the culture)#anyway.#my post#time warp trio#twt
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pridoo · 1 year ago
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art by Hisao Tamaki!
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Let us appreciate how adorable Luke is in the Star Wars manga.
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the-acid-pear · 6 months ago
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Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.
#luly talks#my dreams#I'll peace like i can recollect it was weird#bc it literally was ME BUYING GROCERIES W MY DAD but then the line between when we ended and Michael and William started blurred#i remember the grocery store very well also bc it was very similar to the one i go always to but smaller and more sepia#it was dark for a grocery store like it was just letting sunlight in#pears were half off like some black friday offer so all the products were suuuper cheap#i saw one bottle of milky pear juice for like 1k. and the same w these 4 stacks of frozen waffles who were like 1070.#or this bottle of pear pancake mixture that had 2 or 4 lts#it was kind of when i went away that thr lines started blurring so let me tell you what i remember about this Afton:#he didnt seem. murderous. he was grocery shopping w his kid for fuck's sake 😭 i think he was even sitting somewhere while i ran back and#forth taken aback by these offers? like kinda dismissive at best#uh. Henry was brought up believe it or not. it was like... they broke up or something? like he was kinda upset about the mention but like#in a i dont want to explain why im not with him rn sort of way#very insecure he seemed. like he run into this woman who might've been someone but idk who was whom asked sbout henry and bro was SWEATING#you'd say dream william was a fucking loser he just got locked in thinking like what do i say and HOW do i say it#to make it sound casual but also not weird.#bc on top of all he also seemed to have some weird gender things going on bc he first instinct when trying to explain himself to the woman#(who i cannot stress enough was super friendly like a fucking neighbor or something just going hey hi! hows da family? ^_^)#was to refer to them both as girls as this jokey comradery Let's Ignore The Topic thing before going No That's Bad I Can't Say That#this whole internal monologue in my dream happened in a sort of comic panel thing btw where shit went from these warm browns and greens and#shit from the grocery store to jarring black and whites and reds as William tried to have a straight thought#looks wise unfortunately not a lot going on.though considering this was literally my dream getting turned over can we say my Afton is argie#something something my turn stealing from them etc etc or whatever#uh. brown hair. but not too dark. it was greying and that was making it lighter. also very angular face as you'd expect#high cheekbones pretty eyebrows no facial hair. hair was a bit longuish tho? like a messy ear length maybe?#he had a button up w buttons lose bc it's so hot and humid rn also sunglasses which i know 100% was influenced bc the last design i rbed#a little.before napping#also he had age makes too though his age was most visible in his scrawny long exposed neck#me/mike change was minimal bc we're both pale and brunette hit tag limit so hope y'all like my brain's oc i guess ��
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angeltism · 1 year ago
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why am I getting media I've never posted about/have barely posted about once or twice sparsely in my "for you" section,, where'd all the pj.sk/mil.gram/etc go..
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#➳ the fool speaks#i mean i know why stsg and. well. that one comic everyone hates except for a single being i follow who isn't even my mutual. are there.#like yeah i follow ppl who post about those things#but so much of it???? tumblr are you trying to get me to keep watching j.jk to see if I'm ge.to#.........it may be working but that js BESIDES THE POINT HERE#i didn't know who yoy follow influences it SO MUCH?? like I've NEVER interacted with a hs post in my LIFE (i think?? don't quote me on that#i probably haven't but also I'm stupid and forgor things a lot) and it's like 60% of my for you tab. and j.jk is like another 20%#and 15% of that j.jk stuff is stsg. and 5% is other stuff#and 10% is pj.sk. oh and 5% is also bs.d despite the fact I've never posted abt it. and the other 5% is like every other fandom i know to#some degree#........is this really that normal. how do i stop seeing so much stuff for a fandom i am nawt even in TwT#i find it funny i can pinpoint exactly where this is coming from. like the specific beings i follow.#i could name names but i think if the beings I'm referring to see this they'll know who they are IFHWJFHAJRHEJR#rhis is all silly akd lighthearted tho i find this entertaining that what other beings like has seeped into my account. and being able to go#''haha this is so funny. the totally normal sane feelings somebun i like has for this has made tumblr start suggesting it to me too''#also that one post that goes ''tumblr i think this was meant for the next door over'' or whatever is it#anyways I'm gonna shut up nyeow JFJSJFHWJRNEJS
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inhonoredglory · 1 year ago
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Aziraphale’s Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheen’s Morality
Update: Michael Sheen liked this post on Twitter, so I'm fairly certain there is a lot of validity to it.
I’ve had time to process Aziraphale’s choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphale’s character. I think what happened was also Aziraphale’s own conscious choice––as a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.
Since November 2022 I’ve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,
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We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. It’s sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and “oh it’s nice.” And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the light…. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think that’s a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.
I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think that’s what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphale’s story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed that––truly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.
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Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didn’t understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)
That’s why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.
Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.
But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.
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And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.
I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didn’t, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)
But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasn’t influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasn’t a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.
Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something he’s very good at it).
Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heaven’s armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.
(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)
At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didn’t have God’s ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He can’t take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. That’s why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Job’s children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldn’t get through to God, and he’s not going through that again.
“We could make a difference.” We could save everyone.
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Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing good––and having to “look the dark in the face to be truly good.” That’s what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. That’s what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lion’s Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.
Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphale’s change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphale’s courage.
But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they don’t need Heaven. And he’s right. Aziraphale knows he’s right.
Aziraphale doesn’t need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just don’t know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)
Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.
Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, that’s exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. “You’re exactly is different from my exactly.”
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In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.
Sheen: “I felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] – which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.” In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.
Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.
And that’s why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldn’t understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.
And he’s still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.
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