#with a little bit of 'you could literally kill me at any time. why arent you.' and 'i could literally kill you at any time. why arent i'

[willyhoos]

redraw of something from the king wilson au...

sometimes a family can be an escaped convict arsonist, a creepy psychic ghost girl, and a mad scientist trapped in the shadow realm. this is not one of those times however

[firefly--bright]

unearthed.

jean kirstein x fem!reader, modern a.u., buzzfeed unsolved a.u.

summary ; you dont know just how many watchful souls listen to you and jean speak, waiting, watching. maybe it's just you, but the prison air feels warmer. warnings ; mentions of violence, a little horror (? literally just the tiniest bit), talks of death. cringe humor. a/n ; happy halloween my beloveds. crazy that halloween and diwali were on the same day. kinda poetic lowkey. im DEAD TIRED so ykw that means! happy fireflyfic day! (and happy diwali to those who celebrate :)) taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable , @zombiefiedskeivy

masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿

The prison wasnt eerie, which should’ve struck you as concerning. 

No, rather, the opposite, the fact that it was a little too comfortable, a little too lived-in to be considered ghostly was what you found…weird. Or maybe it was jean’s presence next to yours, the coldness of the air masked by his warmth and stolen jacket perched over your shoulders that made the air feel a little more breathable.

Connie and marco are huddled over the camera, speaking in hushed whispers - some technical jargon that your brain is too tired to recognize. 

Jean shifted from beside you, adjusting his own coat - not stolen - and thumbed the straps over his chest that snuggly held a smaller camera so it fit better over him. He cleared his throat when he caught you zoning out, “know your lines?” he asked, a prompt for you to speak your mind. 

You smiled cheekily, looking at him under the dim, sole flashlight. “By heart. Scared, jean-boy?” 

“Dont call me that on camera, please,” he says, eyes screwing shut when you shine your light straight into them. 

“Have i ever embarrassed you? You do that to yourself more than i do,” “okay that’s…intentional. It helps with the character im going for.” you snort. “Damsel in distress?” he scoffs, “i had to save you last time, remember?” “that was just an excuse for you to hold my hand, you can admit it. The cameras arent rolling yet,” you tease, bumping your shoe with his worn-out converses. He lets you. There isnt much he doesnt let you do to him. 

“Alright, cameras are gonna start in three…two.. One!” marco’s voice is characteristically calming, even at a higher pitch.

 

Your shoulders stand straighter as you look into the lens, placing the flashlight right under your chin. “hello, watchers! Welcome back to another episode of Unearth - a series where we try to gather evidence of the paranormal to see who wins - a believer,” you say, pointing the light under jeans chin briefly before settling it back under yours, “or a skeptic.” “it’s not a competition,” “right. Of course not.” you say, winking into the camera. Its jean’s turn to speak, his voice a low baritone, and you can see his breath becoming foggy into the now november air. “We are here today at the Marley Prison, rumored to be the host of seventy percent of the state’s most wanted criminals since the early eighteen hundred's. And we’re standing infront of it now and it’s fucking creepy,” “right, and it was also incredibly overcrowded, so-” “-so just, a terrible place to live in.” “yeah, but they killed people,” “...right. Most of them.” “i’ve heard it smells like shit,” you say, almost forgetting that this might get broadcasted, but jean’s eyes on you seemed to have that effect. forgetting the size of your own beating hear, forgetting where you were, melting away any proof of life except his.

He smirks, looking straight at the camera once more. “Right, that’s why i have-” he pulls out a small spray bottle. From what you could read, the text flashed, “FLOWER POWER!” and your smile turned into a laugh. “- this air freshener right here.” “right. That’ll protect us.” “if i get possessed i’d want.. It to smell, like-” “-like flower power-” “right.” now the both of you are laughing, shoulders shaking.

“Great. Let’s head inside, guys,” marco says, smile on his face, and eren puts the camera down to view what he had gathered. 

“After you,” jean says, his shoes scruffing against the harsh stones underneath, spreading his arm infront of you as a guide.

“Pussy,” you muttered, making him sputter.

-

“Alright,” you say, settling on the cold hard ground. Cell number 509, holding the last inmate of the entire prison who passed away in the very same, cramped room. Only a mattress and a sink to keep him company, a small, hand-sized window on the wall opposite to the door, meant to be locked at all times. 

“Dangerous people in this place,” you say, mostly to yourself. Your partner was on the ground floor of the vicinity, in another building entirely, investigating by himself. You decided to split up to see if that might spite any spirits to act, planning on asking questions to the different people that were barely alive, living in the space so freely disturbed. The camera crew were also downstairs, waiting on the two of you to be done. All you had was an old walkie-talkie that connected to jean’s. 

“You there?” his voice - filled with static and concern - reaches the confines of the prison cell. “Yep. where are you?” you ask, sitting in the middle of the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest, your flashlight flickering. “Im at the uh… that punishment place.” “ah. Im in Dean Cooper’s cell.” “oh,” he says. “Why dont we just use our phones for this part?” he asks, a beep following him. You smile. “I dont know, actually. Do you- should we?” “yeah that’d be.. I mean, better communication. Audio..quality - there are so many bugs here,” he speaks as you switch your phone on, dialing his number. He picks up not even a second in.

“Okay, can you hear me better?” he asks, and you rest your back against the thick wall. The door - heavy and cold - is fully closed so you could get a better experience, the full creeps. You nod, knowing he cant see it. “yep. Its crazy that people had to live like this,” you speak, holding the microphone part of your device close to your mouth, his voice on speaker. Something alive to fill the walls, more than your own presence. “Yeah. well it’s crazy that they committed so many crimes, honestly,” “i know.” 

You’re supposed to be filming. Your camera is rolling already and youre supposed to be speaking to a presumed dead person but a holy one is roaming downstairs without you and all you have is his voice as proof. “Hey,” jean calls out, and you thank good network reception and technology to have his voice be so clear, without cuts, real against your hand. “Im at the uh… what’s it called? The place where they could talk to their loved ones right now.” “ah,” “it feels weird.” a beat of silence. “Weird how?” you ask, your voice quiet. 

“Like-” theres a shifting sound at the end of the line, followed by a slight creak. “- weird in the sense that… i dont know, like, people still loved and cared for quote-unquote bad people,” 

You hum. Your head now also rests against the wall, too unaware to keep it up, too comfortable to find your own muscles. “I dont know. You’re always better with the words and shit.” he says, and you give him a small laugh. “Words and shit?” “yeah like, you know what to say.” “i mean, these people are dead, jean, theres a real small chance they can even hear us.” “i know, but like, even to alive people.” its almost 3 am, your phone says, and your heart increases in size, a little too comfortable against your ribcage. 

Have you ever felt that before? the muscle that’s supposed to be contained in a confined space now opens itself up and you have no choice but to let it. It grows, bigger, until youre body is tattered and all that remains as proof is your heart, big and timid, still beating, waiting for jean’s eyes to look at it. You havent. You wonder if any of the people half-alive in this place have. 

“I mean, love is alot of patience,” you start, your fingers fiddling with the end of your jacket. A stray piece of thread. You hear him humming in agreement and continue, “maybe they just… couldnt say it. How many times have you been able to not say that you love someone, y’know? And then you get the chance to but then it gets lost in all the other unimportant things and maybe that… maybe that’s love. The unimportant things.” you say. Your fingers feel funny, tingly, hearing his voice saying something at the end of your sentence. Youre too caught up to say something important as a reply.

So you settle. Listen. “Like, imagining this place alive… y’know. Like not in a creepy way but in like… it’s - like so much time passed, and so much was said here.” he says. His voice holds importance in your hands, and you trace shapes into the side of your phone with your thumb as if its the back of his hand and you’ve taken it in yours, cold and patient, unimportant. Tracing shapes that cant be seen. He hears them though. It’s in every pause he takes, every breath he hears on your end of the line and he wonders if you know how your alive-ness makes him braver than the night. Brave enough to know that speaking is something to be accomplished, that you’re listening.

 

He stares at the glass window in front of him, sitting on the chairs that prisoners used to sit on with hope in their eyes. At least, that’s how he imagines it. Theres a small hole in the window, enough only to catch a couple breaths and silenced sentences and he can only imagine how the other person mightve felt, seeing their loved one behind a blurry and unkept screen.

“Im not going to empathize with them, obviously, but, i feel like… i mean, obviously this place was built to be inhumane. The fact that they even included that section of the prison, though.. I dont know. it's kinda nice.” you say, and he closes his eyes to pretend youre in front of him. Its not that hard, in all honesty, because your voice fills his ears and he’d rather listen to proof of the living - with her shoe kicking his, with her voice teasing his shrieks - rather than the minute but present proof of the dead. He knew someone - barely alive souls, watching - had to be listening to your conversation but he also knew that he was listening to it too and he’d rather commit to the cold of your familiar hands than the unfortunately lived-in warmth of this place.

“It is.” he agrees, his chin tilting up, his shoulders relaxing. One hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone, microphone to his lips with the speaker on. He wasnt alone. His phone’s screen is blurry and unkept, but he wasnt alone. 

“Y’know that’s what i find kind of… i dont know, comforting? About like, something this hopeless. That, like.. There’s a recreational room that they had. Like the option was there for them to sit down there and talk, maybe. I dont know how that wouldve gone-” you say, voice ending in a self-aware laugh, making him smile, “-but it was there, right. Same with this communication room…thingie. Like the option of loving is there.” 

Your voice floats against the walls of the room, touches the glasses separating him and the world, before coming back to him. His chest feels funny, more aware that it’s there. Not just as an organ and something trivial that helps him breathe but now as something larger than himself. Something less candid, hidden under layers of clothing and skin built to be thick, raised to be soft, and it almost lays there, in front of him, inhaling the sound of your voice like it’s a new source of oxygen. And it grows. Alive.

“Option of loving,” he echoes, eyes now fluttering open and looking at the expanse of the tattered ceiling above him, spotting shapes. Option of loving. “Like even now there’s like.. Im sitting here, and there’s notches on the wall. Like the… four standing lines and then a slash through them. Like the hope of getting out isnt gone. Its… cool how humans just do that.” you say. He clings onto every word, his own little prayer against the dark, unsaid but important. Option of loving.

He looks back infront of him, staring at the glass window again. Theres gunk in the corners of it and spiderwebs claiming it as their home in a place as haunted as this. “And even if i dont… believe in ghosts it’s like…cool to think about in the sense that, i dont know, everything is a proof of life. Y’know?” you ask, ready for confirmation knowing that he’d provide it to you. Anything you’d ask.

“Thats… i didnt see it like that,” he admits, “i mean i just saw it as like… confirmation that dead people are dead and that if there’s an afterlife we have to chose a right way to live, something we’re proud of, so that we dont regret it when we’re… dead and roaming the halls, waiting to be found, yknow?” “like grief.” you answer, and he shifts in his seat, getting a bit more comfortable. He nods, knowing you wont see it. “Yeah. kind of.” “that’s…poetic. We should start a podcast-” “-shut up,” and both your voices are broken up by laughs, short and warm and proof of being alive and roaming the halls, waiting to be found.

There’s a dog howling in the distance. No light in the room that you’re in, barely any air, coolness of november flush against your skin despite your layers. His voice holds you, a little blanket, cocooning you around yourself. “Hey, you’re supposed to come find me,” you say, reminding him of his task of peering into the halls, asking ghosts and bugs to come closer to him. Whatever’s alive or half-dead or half-alive or half-already-living. “And you’re supposed to play twenty questions with your hot date,” “i think he’s pretty cold, actually,” you say, he laughs. Another shift in fabric, another creak - he’s gotten up from his place on the chair, now warmed, soon to be claimed by the prison’s musty air, but for now it’s there. Fully alive. 

“My battery’s gonna die.” he says, voice a little solemn, his footsteps squeaking against the floor, rubber on hard cement. “We have walkie-talkies,” you provide, your voice full around it’s edges with your own smile and jean almost asks why youre smiling, but refrains. He’ll ask when he finds you. Or maybe he’ll tell you he’s in love with you. Or maybe the words will get lost under all the other unimportant things that he has to say to you. 

Or maybe that’s just what love is. The unimportant things, layered, hidden, chest and heart, large, warm, growing. 

[twink-between-worlds]

im being so real i have never been more mad at a game than i am at zoochosis. like...

this is the SECOND game to let us down and i dont know why this ones making us more mad. we paid more for the OTHER fucking failure. but i just. okay ill put it under a cut because this got a LOT longer than i thought it'd get? HAHA sorry i just...im very passionate about animals and a lot of the time when moony + ledge were playin it i was backseating goin "They Do Not Fucking Do That."

let me. just. I know Moon made a "our thoughts" post but i wanna talk about those fuckin zebras. it was lazy to fucking make them sound like horses (they dont sound like horses, chat. relatively they're closer to donkeys than they are to horses!) and making them puke the same as the other animals (zebras cannot actually throw up! if someone animated one throwing up, they could at least make them look visibly pained -- because it WOULD hurt like a motherfucker. they arent supposed to be able to throw up, of course it would hurt!)

other animals too, actually, dont make sense.

who. in their right mind. decided to put FOUR MALE SILVERBACK GORILLAS in the same enclosure. im sorry but literally that is probably worse than the actual mutation. come on. they would kill each other before even being infected or mutated. silverbacks are known to be more aggressive. this was stupid. are silverback gorillas the only type of gorilla that they knew, or something?

the giraffes feeding station wouldnt be ground level. theyd be higher up to account for their necks, since it can hurt them if it's too fucking low!!!! jesus fucking christ. giraffes also don't puke the way the game shows! giraffes throw up on a regular basis, sure, but not like humans do!! They have the same stomach structure as cows, meaning they have four chambers, so they 'throw up' more like a cow does to break down their food a little in the 1st of their 4 chambers, and then regurgitate it to chew it more thoruoughly! they do this with water too! but they don't tend to throw up the way zoochosis shows them to do!!!!!! IM MAD ABOUT THIS.

i dont have a real issue with the penguins... dunno why they never went into the water. bit weird but not too bad? i guess? . actually. they all appear to be emperor penguins, but some have red and purple instead of yellow on their necks???? hello??? god, are you there???? thats not even, like, intended to show infection. they just Did That.

Why Were There Moose In The Zoo. Are they typically in zoos??? we've never seen one irl so we genuinely dont know if its just where we are that doesnt have any moose (meese? whats te plural of moose.) in zoos.

the wallabys....ill be real, for us they wouldnt stop fucking moving so we could NEVER get their blood and it was just annoying. wallabys are also typically smaller but we dont talk about that, apparently?? (im also pretty sure they cant throw up either, i think they also do the Cow Thing, but i cannot say it confidently, so it doesn't count to the "this animal cant fucking throw up." counter)

guess what? they did the throwing up thing THREE TIMES, BABEY! ELEPHANTS CANT FUCKING DO THAT EITHER. you'd think, if they're gonna make a game about a zoo, that they'd look up what certain animals can and can't do, and work around the limitations to make different symptoms, but i guess fucking not!

the hippos were weirdly docile, having a strange human being close and touching them. i dont care. hippos don't like humans being in their territory (in this case, their enclosure is their territory!) and they get agressive if you're in their space. also, you poke a needle into them, they'd get fucking pissed. you would be dead. the infection wouldnt get to you as fast as that fucking hippo would, i promise you.

im so fucking sorry zoochosis tag. i like animals a lot. i could go on about the mutations too but im not doing that to you HAHA

[robynbaldurlogs]

baldur log day 1 + 2

day 1 i dont have much to show for this day visually bc i wasnt actively documenting... but essentially, i: made my character, went through the beginning tutorials and stuff, took the little brain guy with me, saved shadowheart, and crashed on the beach. then i stopped playing. here is the only image i took before i got off LOL

day 2 ok. so: shadowheart is cool as fuck. i LOVE her already. cannot wait to strengthen the social link with her or whatever the hell you call it. get the friendship numbers up. this fuckass poem had me dead:

shoutout the bitch queen ig whoever you are. keep serving also i love this fucking guy. i can tell hes a conniving fuck but ohhhh hes kinda hot though!

like why is he kinda cunty. but yea anyways he joined my party. also met this guy. gale. he is strangely charming. but he also gives me zephyr breeze vibes (which is bad) and jack sparrow vibes (which is very good). told my friend speves that and that i thought he looked like a smart himbo and she was like "i dont blame you for that read" + "we'll see" which i Dont Know how to take. my judgements were based off the literal first minute of conversation btw

+ really stupid visual glitch i almost didnt notice. theyre fusing

shadowheart talk your shit man.

"just waiting, like a lovesick puppy?" ...... thats a bad thing? whatever you say man. gonna scare shadowheart with commitment. COMMITMENT JUMPSCARE BOO also little parentheses shadowheart is the most fucking dementia raven way ass name and i love it but it was hard to take it seriously for a little bit. warrior cats ass name. also i got crazy fucking lucky with my rolls. dont have many screenshots but i kept getting high numbers it was lucky as shit up until gale talked to me about needing to consume magical items like crack i read his mind with the mindflayer tadpole and found out it was cus he consumed some crazy ass Dark Magic or something, got a critical failure first, then just used some inspiration i had to get it right, and rolled high as shit LMAO

hit the rolls TWICE btw. read his mind once and then went deeper into his mind which had a 15 dc and got that too. hell yeah baby. also afterwards i was totally honest with him about reading his mind and he freaked the fuck out which fair i read your mind. i get it. but still

then i calmed him down by being like "hey man i had to know. youre dangerous" and passed the persuasion check :sunglasses: easiest game of my fucking life oh i talked to shadowheart abt her pains before that which was cool every conversation i have with her makes me like her more.

i met wyll. great guy. i went to camp to long rest and he dropped some INSANE fucking knowledge on me. like. i could live by this

so i switched gale out in my party with him LMAOOOOOOO and had a conversation with astarion about how hed kill me if i started turning. i asked what he would prefer personally and he said decapitation. which was CRAZY. so i was like yeah sure king decapitate me if i turn. do your thing. i trust your judgment

also talked to shadowheart bc i will seize every chance to learn more about her

then i left camp, talked to kagha while looking for a healer, got them to free a tiefling girl through more persuasion rolls (BECAUSE IM GOATED) and talked to the healer nettie who was fixing a Regular Bird

she told me how strange it is that we arent turning, to swear on my life id drink a poison if i saw any symptoms (which i of course agreed to, shadowheart approved and astarion did not) and stopped playing on the way to rescue halsin. fun times!

p.s. days doesnt necessarily mean im playing this daily but rather just what happens when i play per irl day... days just works as a way to categorize tbh

[aligatorrageinator]

Gamzee gamzee gamzee gamzee... how i can go on about Gamzee.  he knows too much, he was left alone for far too long, far too often.  so many times with Gamzee it seems that he could have stopped himself from doing the things he did by not hiding. stay out of the vents and talk to people, don’t run from people who want to snap you out of your murderfrenzy little clown. but then there’s the fact that that would make things end wrong. and the second he looks into cals eyes he knows that. he knows that on every level what he’s doing is required to get them the good ending and it’s a literal crime he’s not given enough diaouge to make that clear bc i think it’d be so interesting if we got to see him wax ‘poetic’ about how he needs to be doing what he’s doing weather it seems counterproductive or not.  because that’s what brings them to the end, and that’s what get’s them earth c. the fridge, i want to cry about the fridge.  Gamzee was shoved in there and bound to be thrown into the sea at the end of homestuck and when vriska mentioned those were her intentions i kept waiting for someone to object, for literally anyone to say something like ‘uhhh... that sounds a bit harsh...’ like the alpha kids had no idea who he was and were just like ‘mhm chuck that guy in the ocean sure no more questions’ Karkat was the bitter ex so he kinda gets a pass i guess kanaya never liked him so sure, but like... no one said anything, think about that.  the people he once called friends, that he’d known his whole wrigglerhood as far as we know just didn’t say anything. they didn’t express concern, they didn’t DO ANYTHING. WHY DIDN’T THEY DO ANYTHING EVEN WITHOUT THE ALTERED STATE/MINDCONTROL [i don’t think it was mind control save for the aradia stuff but the theory exsists] ARGUMENT WHY WERE THEY SO OK WITH HIM BEING LIKE THAT, WAS HE REALLY THAT TERRIBLE? WAS HE THAT MUCH MORE IRREDEMABLE THAN ANY OF THE OTHER ASSHOLES THAT HE WASN’T WORTH THE EFFORT OF SHOUTING AT? IT’S JUST ‘PSSHH HE’S A LOST CAUSE WHY BOTHER’ WHY IS HE A LOST CAUSE, WHAT DID HE DO THAT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THAT GODDAMN LILLYPAD “he abused terezi” - VRISKA AND TAVROS. “He killed his friends tho” - VRISKA, TEREZI, EQUIUS, NEPETA ALL TRIED/SUCCEEDED IN DOING THE SAME

“he’s annoying“ - AND THE OTHERS ARENT???? this sad little clown got told his whole world was a story, that’d he’d be a villan, and that none of his friends would care that he betrayed them bc no one liked him to begin with. and we’re supposed to be suprised that Gamzee did bad things? that he didn’t care if his roll was to help out the villan so things could go the way they needed? assholes fuck with his head for years on end, and leading up to [s]:game over his first words out of forced mute mind control are “YoUrE hUrTiNg Me” I don’t understand how that doesn’t break everyone’s hearts, how the only emotions he ever expressed outside of the infunce of others were chill stoner, pain, and manic terror-filled rage.

how can you look at that character and not wish he got more hugs

and that the single one he got wasn’t retconned into not meaning anything.

[pixeljade]

Sorry but im gonna make this its own post bc i know a lot of my "Biden isnt getting my vote" followers arent even gonna click into that last one but its IMPORTANT. While you are focused on how Biden is an evil fucked up man (he is, I agree), Trump is standing there saying "But I can be FAR MORE EVIL" in the sidelines!!!

Fucking, I get it, I hate Biden, but VOTES ARE NOT ENDORSEMENTS. THEY ARE NOT A STATEMENT THAT YOU THINK THIS PERSON IS 100% OKAY. Voting is a COMPARATIVE SYSTEM, which means that your vote could be just as much AGAINST the other guy as it is IN FAVOR of the guy you're voting! Its okay! You can vote for Biden and its not endorsing even a single thing he does. Its just who out of these two horrid horrid people that you'd rather have in the role of president.

Some other arguments I have heard against voting for Biden:

"Withholding your vote can be a powerful political statement!" No it isnt. Every single election theres literally MILLIONS who dont vote. Has any of those withheld votes mattered? Has even a single candidate ever even mentioned non-voters as worth their time?

"The time spent voting is better spent doing other, more effective activism!" Even setting aside that the vast majority of people who dont vote simply AREN'T doing other activism, its literally one day, every four years, and its not even the full day. Its like fifteen minutes at most places, it can be hours at the most repressed areas. But even then, a few hours to choose who is the guy you'll be dealing with for four years is a pretty solid deal! I've been an activist in every conceivable way for almost two decades, and there's almost none of them that give you as much bang for your buck, especially without risk of prison.

"Okay it may not be an endorsement but Biden will take it as one" He might. But also that's why you do the other activism, you gotta keep the hot coals to any politician's feet if you want them to listen.

"Ah-ha! So you admit the activism between elections would be the same regardless, so why even vote?" Because one candidate is more susceptible to public opinion than the other, dipshit. Biden is caving bit by bit, but if Trump were in office, as the above image shows, HE'D SIMPLY JAIL US FOR SPEAKING AGAINST HIM. And then how would our activism work? Prison riots? Congrats, thats how you end up killed yourself.

Simply put this isnt me being some dumb neolib this is me saying BIDEN FOR ALL OF HIS EVILS IS STILL AN EASIER OPPONENT OF FREEDOM TO DEAL WITH THAN TRUMP IS. IF TRUMP WINS WE HAVE ZERO CHANCE OF FREEDOM. IF TRUMP WINS WE CAN BE PROUD OF OUR PRINCIPLES AS HE KILLS US ALONG WITH THE PALESTINEANS. IF BIDEN WINS WE CAN ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING TO STOP HIM. DO NOT BE AN EMOTIONAL LITTLE SHITHEAD ABOUT YOUR ACTIVISM.

alright sorry im just a little fucking salty over this but MY GOD some of yall are dumb as shit

[infintesimoon]

annual rewatch

twilight.

-I've never really noticed how many little details there are just in the opening act. CH really went all fucking out

all the students turning to watch Bella walk by on the first day

the fucking mumble of "No one appreciates the onion" Mr. molina does after the class laughs at the golden onion trophy (I fuckin love this onion)

the Cullen crest try and necklaces and rings, etc. (tight as fuck) ((tho it kinda worryingly makes me question if the non beta-read version of the 50 Shades OG fanfic had a branding scene, tbh))

** addendum, the second day diner scene: the waitress has a shamrock necklace and is very broken up about Waylon's death and I just wanted to point that out, given his kiss me im irish shirt and also!! their earlier exasperated-carer-of-beloved-idiot and said-beloved-idiot vibes in the first diner scene.

- "it's the fluorescents"

maybe edward is such a bad liar because normally he can just look into the other persons mind and see exactly how effective it is at any given moment. or, more likely, simply see what the person most likely assumes or would be open to believing, and he just leans into it hard. trying to make it up from scratch is hard.

which is why he says the whole "adrenaline rush" line with such a fuckin weird fave and tone I'm assuming.

- I want a golden onion. that is all.

- the fact that Waylon's kiss me I'm irish shirt is now Victoria's....

- Donate to the Quileute Tribe's Move to Higher Ground effort.

-I WAS TODAY YEARS DUMB WHEN I REALIZEX ALICE IS THE PITCHER CUZ SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TIME IT PERFECTLY WITH THE THUNDER!

this does raise the concerning question of whether or not this Makes No Sense (TM) as I'm like 67% certain that she can only see decided futures? Who decides when the thunder happens? does this imply Thor is real? or that Perun had been killed once again by Veles? or what? is this an example of definite futures set in stone? or does she only know because she's seen all of this due to a vision about say, Carlisle, deciding they would play baseball today when he was watching the local weather station earlier today???

-edward is an idiot if I read the dudes kind and was like oh, he's a tracker, he wants to kill Bella, I would simply rally the family and commit murder then and there.

- I refuse to believe hurting Charlie this way was the only, not least of which the right, choice.

I hate this entire scene. Charlie loves Bella so much and the added earlier scene the Bella (a few days after her father's friend of 30 yes has died) told him that she likes being alone and "must get that from [him]"??!?! I am so missed. Charlie deserved better. he's also literally in grave danger due to his lack of knowledge I. the situation (he's hunting Victoria's coven, and has no clue, and literally Victoria gives a bitch a heart attack. Harry Clearwater I'm pretty sure?)

- what is the limit of Jasper's emotional manipulation power? exactly??

he seems overwhelmed when everyone is crowding Bella after the near crash with Tyler's van, but can't tell that Bella is anxious or planning something when she sneaks off to get to the ballet studio???

- it's hot when Alice rips James's head off.

I said what I said, that's all.

- JUST FUCKING LET . HER. TURN. U . DUMMY.

-Alternatively, CARLISLE YOU'VE HAD THE STRENGTH AND OR FULL TUMMY ENOUGH TO TURN LIKE 6 PEOPLE; THE FUCK WHY ARENT YOU THE ONE SUCKING OUT THE VENOM??? U TELLING ME THAT NONE OF UR FUCKING KIDS EVER TOOK A FIRST AID COURSE? ROSALIE HAS NEVER HAD HUMAN BLOOD SURELY SHE COULD DO THE FIRST AID BIT?

- Alice tossing herself thru a window is still the funniest fucking thing

- Why does edward's hoodie have no strings like he just got out of a pysch hold???????

- the codependency is real and icky

- I've been noticing it the entire movie but the poorly disguised 5 o'clock shadow that eddie boy permanently has etched onto his jaw is the most nonsense part of this whole fuckin thing.

- "... but 20 bucks is 20 bucks, "Jacob, agreeing to ominously threaten his friend.

-I, for one, refuse to believe that Alice doesn't regularly host house parties.

maybe the first few months no one showed up because she was the weird Alaska girl with the culty family and matching jewelry and the constipated boyfriend. I'm headcanoning that Alice has been planning parties for years, once a month, and then using her visions to pre-screen invite rsvp's and deciding not to because no one said yes.

now that I'm crying, let's continue.

- every time I consume twilight I think, huh, does Bella really love Edward, or just rhe mystery and idea of romanticized immortal bliss and opportunity that he represents. does edward love Bella? or is he just seeing the first challenge in decades, who happens to be witty and surprising and who he likes the smell of a lot, but wants to keep her human specifically because he wants the excitement of her being sort of this innocent untouched damsel in constant distress who he can watch sleep and gaslight into being his own personal Bella Novella.

-the fact that vistoria dressed up for their prom??? why??

she... she's in a separate building??? what was the point story wise? like, we g e t it, Rachel Lafevre is hot.

that is all

[tears-of-boredom]

okay im going to find out how different genshin is rn. i dont have money for zelda games so the knockoff gacha version will have to do. if its not horrible still. sorry i just fucking hated kind of everything about sumeru. i mean the aranaras where cute, but their quest line was literally the only one i cared about. and the restrictiveness of it all started to piss me off. you couldnt really do shit. cant catch big animals. cant interact with like anything in the world. cant even buy cooking ingredients with the small ass stock. cant lower the rendering distance. cant do quests because "a character is busy with another one of your quests", like what even is that. just hide the models if you don't want the player to see double of a character. also I really hate the animation that happens when you go to the menu/tab thing. I hate how the counters on choosing stacked objects accelerate. i hate how every character looks the same. I hate how you cant skip dialogue efficiently. i hate the arbitrary limitations in the teapot realm build mode. I hate the pointless dialogue options. I hate how the bounty enemies spawn near other enemies. i hate how the hilichurls have been proven to have sentience but the player has to continue killing them. I hate how limited the "difficulty mode" chooser is. i hate the way you have no indication on if a surface is climable or not. i hate the way trees show no indication when you've gotten all the wood that you can from one. i hate how pyro characters get cold just as easily as others, and how fire from their abilities does not affect the cold meter at all. I hate the way boss enemies cant be hit multiple times in a row, and need a pause in between every hit for them to register. i hate the way ley line blooms have no visible count down to their dissapearance, despite there existing one. i hate how they made a single new bait for every fish in sumeru. I hate how the map doesnt show underground areas. i hate how boss enemies take forever to complete their wake up animation, making surprise plummet attacks impossible. i hate how they're getting kids addicted to gambling. "Fresh and Tasty Chop Suey!". "We'll grill your entire fish!". "Fengen's Ironmongers". "Moonpies! That's what I'll make him!"...

have they released a new nation yet? im most excited about the hydro nation probably. I don't have much faith in pyro, and cryo aka uhh i forgot the name...wtv so i feel like cryo will be too story focused that you won't really get chances to do things on your own. I mean id like some old ass, fancy ass, russian empire stuff. maybe we'll get female characters that dont wear booty shorts and thigh highs. perhaps we'll get slavic faces. although thats just wishful thinking. i doubt that they'll spend money on any more player skeletons lmao. although they really arent doing shit with the models either. actually yeah, even if they didnt want to pay someone to make new skeleton rigs, they could definetly do a lot more with the models than what theyre doing now. like genuinely it would not be hard to alter the models to make each one at least a bit unique. like please dont continue to do that smooth skinny dolls with little noses ass shit. also why are their faces so bare. most there is is when the hair covers a part of their faces. but like,, tattoos? smudges? freckles? moles? scars? birthmarks? piercings? like literally anything omg.

i dont have any faith in HoYo to have fixed any of these tbh. i just like having games that have routine things you can do every day, with no big consequences if you miss a day or a week. ill see what updates i can find on it. ill probably download it either way, even if it still sucks and feels tiring. ill delete it if I hate it so much.

[threepointseven]

I’ve got you hon! Mr. Fandango, Venti, Noelle and Venti with a shy and/or awkward photographer S/O that asks them to be their muse?

-🧸 Anon <3

Could you be my muse?

🌺summary!🌺- your a photographer, an extremely shy one at that and you cant help but want to take a bunch of pictures of your lover but how tf do you do that without dying from embarrassment

Type- HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= scaramouche x gn! Reader, Noelle x gn! Reader, Venti x gn! Reader

Note🍀= IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING SO MUCH TROUBLE AND TAKING SO LONG AAAAA AND THIS IS UR FIRST REQ AFTER SO LONG TOO SMH BIT I HOPE U LIKEY MWAH MWAH BYE 👊👊👊😋

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

Scaramouche

- asking scaramouche to be your muse? To photograph him? Literally a death wish. He’s killed like 39 people you might as well be his 40th

- Your way too awkward to ask anyways, he always teases you for how socially inept you are and takes pride in the fact you can speak comfortably with him but this was a whole new topic

- Your a photographer, and you dont have that much satisfaction from taking pictures of just bushes and flowers. People are your favorite thing to picture.

- And dont get me started on how much you wanted to have a whole photoshoot with your boyfriend scaramouche. From the way his balanced legs walk to the way his slender hands bend and move his figure was something carved from the heavens basically.

- He had a small hunch youd been staring at him for the past week. Always gripping your camera harshly whenever you saw him.

- You wanted to drag him to your room and force him to pose his poses so bad but like you could barely ask him personal questions like where he lives how were you supposed to ask him to be your muse??😧😧

- It has gotten to the point where you couldnt take it and decided to awkwardly secretly take photos of him. It did not work out <3

- IT LOOKED SO CREEPY TOO😟😟😟 YOU WERE LITERALLY TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES OF HIM WHILE HIDDEN LIKE???

- He caught you and thought you were a spy and literally almost murdered you!! 😊😊😊 i could totally make the idea of him accidentally hurting you into an angst prompt but LETS NOT GO THERE

- You were trying to explain to him what you were doing before he snatched the camera out of your hands and started scrolling through the pictures with a smug on his face

“SCARA!! G-GIVE THAT BACK—!”

“Oh my~ someones being quite obsessive. You shouldve told me you wanted to take pictures of me instead of crawling around like a creep.”

- YOU DID END UP GETTING HIM TO BE UR MUSE. THE ENTIRE TIME HE HAD THIS STUPID SMIRK ON HIS FACE LIKE ☹️

- I swear your frothing at the mouth at those angelic poses he made.

- He’s a little shy but he really liked it and wants to be pictured by you again 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 he loves those little praises you mumble about his appearance that he once hated as it resembled ei, his creator just too much.

- Because of all those praises and your mesmerized eyes when you get the chance to look at his bare body he learned to adore it, even if it was made by the woman that abandoned him.

Venti

- WHY ARENT U ASKING HIM??😦😦😦😦 He’d say “SURE!” In any situation🤨🤨🤨⁉️⁉️

- He was always so fascinated with your job as a photographer, always managing to make such seemingly bland things seem beautiful.

- You know he actually did offer to be your muse once, but in a whim or panic and nervousness you brushed it off and said that he’d probably move too much or something

- But good god you want to take billions of pictures of him. Have you seen his body? So sleek and youthful, you’ve fantasized about putting him in a white robe, posing him in ballet poses.

- Alas you just couldnt bring yourself to ask that hyper ex archon. You had a feeling he would say yes but the words just would not come out of your mouth.

- So what did you decide to come up with? Pacing around in your room with the camera in your hand practicing lines you came up with about how you want to take pictures of venti in a white robe and ballet poses.

- SURPRISE SURPRISE!! HE HEARD YOU🙄 that cheeky mf was listening the whole time smirking and laughing like a whole ass witch while you tried to say “can i picture you” without crying and fucking up

- So he does the most reasonable thing and barges into your room and starts to strip while shouting “OH OF COURSE YOU CAN MAKE ME YOUR MUSE MY LOVE—!”

- You slap some sense into him. Your blushing and stammering as he puts his clothes back on and shakes your shoulders shouting in your ear

“AWWW YOU WERE TOO SHY TO ASK ME HUH WINDBLUME?? OF COURSE YOU CAN PHOTOGRAPH ME WHY DONT WE GO TO YOUR STUDIO EHE~”

- you did infact get pictures of him and you were completely right, he looked ethereal. You shyly begged him to let you take pictures of him like this more often. You even bowed and everything.

- He accidentally deleted all the pictures while checking them out 😊

Noelle

- Noelle is probably the most inlove with your hobby ever. You were just as awkward and shy as her but she loved your work so much and it was one of the things that brought you together in the first place. Youd lend her your camera and let her scroll through the pictures and when she found her favorite she’d print it and put it up in a picture frame in a wall of some of your best captures

- Youve always wanted an excuse to have a photo shoot with her and finally! There was a huge photography contest which included contestants from all nations and you were a contestant. The competition was to take pictures of any sentient being and you wanted to take pictures of your favorite sentient being. Noelle!

- But you were just as awkward as her. Now how do you ask your precious girlfriend “hiya can i take a bunch of pictures of you in this specific outfit for a contest?” Without sounding creepy 🤔

- You’d ask her to take you to her combat missions and try and secretly take pictures of her while fighting off ruin guards and such but each time you tried you almost saw the man upstairs so you never did that again

- How she found out was you had left your studio with a frown on your face and she went in, seeing the camera on your table she toddled over and looked through the gallery, seeing multiple blurry pictures of her fighting and her just doing anything.

- Opposite to what you thought would happen if she did find out she didnt find it creepy and instead extremely flattering. You walked in on her squirming and wiggling at the pictures before blushing and stammering trying to explain yourself before just saying it outloud…

“THERES A COMPETITION AND LIKE— I WANTED TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOU AND SUBMIT IT BUT I WAS TOO SHY TO SAY SOMETHING—!”

- yall are so. Lovey. Dovey. 😧

“M-me?! But dear i doubt pictures of me are enough to submit for a competition—!”

- you two end up in a small little back and forth “your more than good enough for it!” “I doubt it!”

- You do end up getting pictures of her, in a cute little dress. Inspired by her original outfit with less “maid” features and more knight features. You took pictures of her in combat and she looks gorgeous. Each detail of the sword and her face was just perfect.

- You ended up getting first place and she got to see her fierce face held up in an art gallery for a little while!

- You also hung up the picture despite her protests and kissed away at her face to stop her from degrading herself

[keroseneinhalers]

my favorite part of warrior cats is the grotesque story of squirrelflight, ashfur, and the extended cast of cats that sound like they came out of an ajj song

this gal named squirrelflight flirts with a guy named ashfur a few times. typical 80s romance song. its quick, its fleeting. squirrelflight gets together with brambleclaw. its all real lovely. brambleclaw gets promoted to leader after squirrelflights dad goes into retirement and makes his deputy the chief. brambleclaw is now bramblestar

(before the promotion and after the marriage, brambleclaw leads the entire 4 clans to a new territory. not relevant. he also stabs his brother in the neck with a tent stake)

and then squirrelflights sister leafpool, who is a medicine cat and sworn into celibacy, has sex with a guy from windclan named crowfeather. this is something all the cats are sworn not to do. double illegal.

crowfeather is a bit of a whore because he was previously in love with another girl who went on a magical journey with him when he was a child. (brambleclaw was there for that too. brambleclaw is eternal and everywhere) the girl crowfeather was in love with got impaled by a falling stalagmite while protecting a tribe of savage feral cats with names very similar to english translations of a few native american names i know. interesting. racist? there was a mountain lion involved

yeah so they have sex and leafpool gets pregnant. but since she did two crimes in one she gives the kids to squirrelflight and pretends they belong to her and brambelstar. theres an uncomfortable birthing scene because the kids decided to emerge from her cat uterus in the middle of a snowstorm. this is very telling of their characters after birth

theres three kids. jayfeather lionblaze and hollyleaf. jayfeather is very angry. lionblaze is angry but in a brave way. hollyleaf loves rules. they are a legendary trio

theres a thing about superpowers, and a prophecy or something. jay is sickly and blind and can see peoples thoughts. lionblaze never loses any fights, ever, and he maims ashfur a little while theyre trianing. hollyleaf doesnt have any powers, but she is absolutely obsessed with the warrior code and gets caught up with a guy named sol who says the world is gonna end. none of this is relevant except the "bootlicker hollyleaf" thing

ashfur is stewing. ashfur has been stewing for years now. long enough that they literally brought all 4 clans across the continent to a new territory kind of stewing. hes lonely. he misses the girl he was madly in love with, and shes married to the coolest guy in town. hes in agony. (over in windclan, crowfeather has a new girlfriend. manwhoring as long as he lives)

theres a big fire. thunderclans entire territory sets on fire. everyone is escaping, except for squirrelflight and her three kids. jayfeather, lionblaze, and hollyleaf, who is contemplating becoming an antivaxxer or something

imagine this: a clearing on the edge of a pit. the pit is where the cats live. everything is on fire around this clearing. there is one log running across the clearing, and squirreflight and her fake kids are going along it to escape. theyre the last out

ashfur appears he stands at the other end of the log. hes pissed. hes crying. he hates squirrelflight. he hates her so much. his rage is all consuming, like the fire that burns around them. he says he wants her in as much pain as possible, and he knows how: taking the only thing she loves in this world. her 3 kids

we all know something ashfur doesnt. the kids arent hers. squirrelflight, though non an omnipresence, is gifted with this knowledge herself.. she sees ashfurs twisted evil mind and tells him, flat out that they arent hers. she doesnt love them. he can kill them, they mean nothing to her. they are, after all, just her sister leafpool's. why would she care for them?

ashfur is stunned. he gives up. he leaves. squirrelflight and her three kids leave. its a bit awkward. imagine the thanksgiving dinner table after a particularly bad argument. thats all this is really

anyways. hollyleaf is broken from this. shes the daughter of a medicine cat and a manwhore from a clan that only eats rabbits. she cant take it. much like ashfur, she snaps

there are these big clan meetings, once every month. everyone goes, except the old people and the dying people and the kids who just want juiceboxes and lunchables. thunderclan is heading out to the Meeting Island. they find a body in the river. surprise! its ashfur

they go on to the gathering despite finding the body of one of their finest, most mentally haunted warriors polluting the stream with the blood seeping out of his slit throat. the three kids are there. squirrelflight is there. leafpool is there. bramblestar is there

this story has very weird heathers energy to me. its there, but it isnt coherant. like a bad remix of 100 gecs, sort of. this part is no exception

hollyleaf runs up to the big tree the clan leaders stand on and monologue. shes not allowed to do this. perhaps the sense that she lost her identity with her illigitimate birth turned into something real, that the warrior code didnt matter anymore. perhaps she was just tired of being kind; she wanted to go apeshit

she confesses. to two things. number one - the muderder of ashfur. how tragic. number two - leafpool. leafpools affar with crowfeather. squirrelflights lies to her for her entire life. theres chaos. thunderclan is like stan twitter after a minecraft youtuber said something racist 8 years ago. the 3 other clans are trying desperately to get in on this drama. the hot tea of the hour if you will

hollyleaf says her share. she runs away. lionblaze and jayfeather chase after her all the way back to the thunderclan territory. she yells at them. she runs into a tunnel and gets crushed by rocks. thats the end. shes dead.

jk jk that was a lie shes alive and shes living in a huge cave system with a ghost cat. remember the native american coded mountain tribe? yeah, they had ancestors. the ancestors lived at the territory the 4 clans moved to after squirelflight flirted with ashfur and before she got together with bramblestar. they used to drown little kids in the tunnels. jayfeather is the entire reason why the ancestors moved to the mountains and became the racist mountain tribe. i wont explain the timeline of this, and i dont think i could if i tried

up above hollyleafs slowburn romance with a transparent cat, theres a new girl with superpowers. prophecy fulfilled yadda yadda. her sister is annoyed that she isnt #quirky and so she joins a fighting cult run by the cats in hell. i cannot stress this enough its literally every cat from the 50 some books before this who went to hell. they have an army of children. theyre training them. the sister kills one of her classmates and becomes equals with the hell cats. my second favorite plotline in the series

the hell cats come to the land of the living. the sister betrays them. theres a big battle, and its supposed to be the end of the series but you know theyre gonna continue it for at least 20 more books. (they did). hollyleaf appears, and i dont think its ever explained how or why. but shes back, and she joins the battle. everyones too busy with the literal hell cats to care much about some kid with a body count of 1 appearing randomly

hollyleaf fights a bit. she gets mauled to death. thats the end. its just over. she dies and she doesnt come back. rip to a queen

i think my biggest question besides why would someone create this ad continue to do so for fifty plus books, is how the fuck brambleclaw stabbed his brother with a tent stake when he literally doesn’t even have hands. what.

[bimbosupreme]

mephistopheles love post

the equivalent of a mental breakdown tangent is all going under a read more

yes believe it or not that freaky ass literally not even human clown in fgo gets love, and love from who? me and like 3 other people

first off

ok and with that out of the way,

i’m not even familiar with their lore. Reason why i stopped caring about the lore behind faust and mephistopheles is that an interlude happens that shows that mephistopheles is just some homunculi made by some mage nobody named faust. and even then the interlude doesn’t talk about the lore behind the novel, its just you helping mephy kill faust

that being said though i would hope the developers expand on their origins more and potentially even release a “true” mephistopheles (a girl can dream)

So, they’re not even the real deal demon known as Mephistopheles in the first place, and i can hear u going “well that’s lame” and like, no, we just need to redirect our feelings from appreciating a demon to appreciating a homunculi who has a weird characterization in the fate universe

Design tangent:

Fgo was actually my first gacha, and so when I came across this servant I kinda instantly fell in love with their design, I love the colors used in their final ascension and overall appearance. The hat that has horns but they're not quite horns, theyre these weird colorful pointy twisty things, the large garish butterfly ornament on their chest (which isnt ugly at all and somehow works so well with their everything on them) is cool, the tights are so cool to look at, i mean look -- a checkered pattern with golden lining on the shorts portion, the tits out look like yes we get it youre insane, the gloves??? purple and also cool, plus theyve got this gradient thing going on? and the fingers have this line going through them, thats so cool. actually the only other servant that comes close to this in terms of “out there” colorful designs is probably final ascension kama and qsh ( i love them both). Also, mephy has this scissor weapon?? thats so cool lol i dont see any other servant wielding giant scissors (for the love of god give mephy an animation update i need to see them use the scissors while doing flips) and they also have this bomb obsession going on? cant relate, but the bombs designs are so so cool i mean its a fucking centipede -- no idea if centipedes are a thing in the original faust but thats something Ill have to look up at some point. ALSO mephy is wearing heels oh my god anytime people wear heels is an automatic win. No clue whats going on with the hair but its kinda cute (dont question me on that) and it has curls and the hair colors are cool i mean its like a lavender thing with darker purple highlights? i love colorful things and i love people with wacky personalities so. Oh my god their tail how could i forget that its so cute and dumb i almost forgot it was there, like what is that even a whip? i dont.. but its got these little purple tips to them that are kinda cute/cool but more cool because tails are fucking up there alongside heels in terms of cool stuff on characters. and of course their fluffly cape -- again no idea what the designers were going for i mean look its a mess of a design i have no fucking idea what any of it means and i hope they explain it someday because that hair and the butterfly and the tail and the hat and the fluffy garb and a bomb obsession?? and this got the go ahead - yeah lets add that to the game like what

ALSO LETS TALK ABOUT THEIR EYES

appreciate these with me for a second

god.

oh and the blue lipstick and face paint god thats a cool design ugh

they can be normal too or at least as normal as possible i mean they even trimmed their eyebrow here lol but you can see the not so well hidden insanity/goofiness peaking through with the inside of the suit at the bottom being highlighter purple and a green shirt with gold accents underneath the black coat at the front <3, fuckin hate that hairstyle tho bro we gotta get that middle part hairstyle outta hereeeee--

TAKE A DETOUR AND LOOK AT THIS LINK THOUGH THIS IS THE MOST NORMAL AND BEST IVE SEEN THEM IN FANART. THE POTENTIAL IS THERE. WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS AND THEY LOOK GREAT ITS POSSIBLE. I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE FROM THAT DRAWING.

anyways this is me going off all about why i like their design! but we haven’t even touched the nitty gritty of it all. their personality! what personality you may ask? havent they always been some weirdo laughing a lot and saying dumb shit all the time? well yes and no

Characterization:

True to their dumb little clown design mephy also acts like one.

Some servants bond 1 lines are like “fuck off” and some actually talk to you, nah this bastard mephistopheles’ just laughing. and for the second bond line it seems to imply theyre fuckin with you more (showing up and dissapearing and saying ‘afterimage’) so thats nice that theyre actually making some effort to mess with you in a way? some servants take a long time to actually interact with you so this shows theyre not afraid of interacting with you and thats just at bond 2. and of course the third bond line implies they were probably trying to betray you, its stated in more than 1 place that mephistopheles (actually isnt this a caster class thing?) will betray you or attempt to do so. So the third bond line seems to imply that their attempts have been stopped by you and that’s what they say after some failed attempts. So after stopping this freak from doing some shit their next bond line is actually doing a confession! a jester being honest who couldve seen that one coming but theyre 100% not lying, they really arent a demon but a homunculi made by faust

speaking of faust we’re going to backtrack a little into their interlude that i brought up at the start of this post, its one of those dream interludes and it starts with mephy asking you to help him plant bombs for their eventual reuinion/showdown with faust -- in the meantime faust keeps sending golems in an attempt to kill both you and mephy

When you track faust down, it’s shown that faust was your typical mage, inhumane and uncaring. It’s also pointed out that this faust killed innocents, but this typical mage behavior is boring to mephy, and they say that boring typical behavior is why they wanted to kill them

 so i really cant blame mephistopheles for being the way they are, being raised by this type of guy, even if mephy was always messed up and wacky from the beginning its no reason for faust to attempt to kill him.

Mephistopheles also shows up in salem, cu alter’s interlude, and of course the knk crossover event, and some other things im most likely forgetting but those 3 are ones that i find notable

anytime they show up theyre actually helpful, in salem mephy points out that the nature of the being responsible for the salem epic of remnant is something alien rather than a typical foreign god, mephy also tells you that time is also being sped up and in their weird way they try to cheer you up by spouting some nonsense at the beginning (guda needed some kind of distraction from the grim events that had just transpired at that point in the story), i cant quite remember what mephy did in the knk event but they were a part of your group and were helpful the whole time, actually @/zeravmeta does an amazing analysis of their role in the knk event as well as some extra character analysis here

mephistopheles is kinda cryptic in a weird way though,

like overall i mean theyre a jester homunculi in appearance so yeah its to be expected but come on i love morally gray characters, despite their supposed betrayal hints scattered around here and there

they have this one line that always gets to me

and this line is said with a completely serious face too

the rare serious mephistopheles face! its kinda grim to see that line, no laughs, no nothing, their voice is kinda serious and monotone too. of course this could be just to get you to lower your guard but its still kinda out there that they have this rarely used portrait and that line, so i like to take it as being said to you when youre by yourself and with sincerity

and at least sei (with her wacky outfit and all lol) seems to get along with mephy and thinks theyre nice woohoo

so at the end of the day you have this guy that laughs a lot and gives mixed signals

and they fuck with you

and will most likely try to kill you more than once but hey thats just another tuesday at chaldea

Before I finish last thing I want to point out is this snippet from the fgo source material book which provides more information on servants, and this specific translated bit under mephistopheles

at the core of it all this homunculi....can be your friend! you just need to not go into despair i guess

of course this entire post is an overanalysis into an underwritten character, quarantine + all online college classes have done this to me, i have a douman icon what did you expect

OH...BEFORE I REALLY SIGN OFF AND FINISH THE POST HEY CLOWN LOVERS CHECK OUT THESE FANARTS AND FANARTISTS...

THE FIRST ONE IS HASENDOW YES THE DOUMAN DESIGNER... <3

i cant believe they drew mephy

twice !

and for those of you on twitter check out @cuz_pb and @L0VEYAMA003

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child

Diego Hargreeves x child!reader

warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”

deigo really said “?????”

how dad

but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for

✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨

“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”

he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them

but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT

“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”

“give back”

“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”

diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs

as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”

“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”

“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”

“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”

you did not sign up for this

you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you

i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity

“dad, i want to meet the family!”

“no you don’t”

end of discussion

despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad

he really liked marvel movies

“come on, that would never happen!”

“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”

“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”

you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him

“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”

*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*

you go to public school

you do have your dad’s last name

which occasionally gets recognized

“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”

“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)

practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets

so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself

you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times

“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”

“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”

“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”

watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead

you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad

even if he was a dick

your dad came home silent and you knew he knew

“you okay?”

“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”

finally getting the chance to meet your family

“who are you?” -allison

“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”

*jaw dropping*

and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)

“and you are?” -luther

“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus

“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five

“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben

“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya

“i...i know who all of you are” -you

diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes

“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison

“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”

“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”

you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities

so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well

“where the hell did you learn that?”

“al showed me a few moves!”

“that old man? you’re kidding”

you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times

you actually loved her sm

but there was something a bit off about her

besided the fact she was a robot

klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE

it wasn’t all bad

ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings

“they’re perfect”

“they just stabbed someone, buddy”

“who are you talking to?”

FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU

“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”

“what are you throwing?”

“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”

“IS THAT A GUN”

<3 family

running into patch!!

“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”

“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”

that was the last time you saw her :/

well, your dad was now a wanted man

“what happened to your arm?”

“no”

you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this

wait—yes you did

vanya has powers????

“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”

“yeah. so did we.”

diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that

but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want

the vibe is almost getting shot several times

by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?

going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨

“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”

“dad, i love you, but no”

“y/n, i love you too, but yes”

“no”

“yes”

“NO”

“YES”

you won

but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?

without any of your family

“this is...this is not good”

understatement of the year(s)

what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961

no seriously, what

it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own

and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad

“son of a—”

visiting dad! (two years later)

“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”

“2 years, dad. you?”

his hair was so LONG

“2 months”

“christ, that’s it?!”

“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”

“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”

“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”

“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”

“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”

diego: 👁👄👁

you: 👀

running into five on the street soon after

“uncle five?”

“no time to talk”

“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”

“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”

“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”

“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”

finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you

you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days

dad broke out

lila too

“im your new mom!”

“you’re what?”

diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere

he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer

meeting grandpa :)

“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”

“bitch”

“what did you just call me?”

“a bitch.”

your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter

reggie was stunned

cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud

this is so confusing

diego just disappeared off the face of the earth

and assassins were on your case

“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”

“y/n, just curve their bullets”

“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”

you were doomed

theres too much to go over

apparently you died on a farm????

and then you didn’t??????

and your dad was almost apart of the commission

“hey, you okay, y/n?”

“i would like to take a nap please”

“yeah, me too”

“me three!” -klaus

yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[calcifermovesthecastle]

I have a mighty need for Josuyasu content so what about hcs for the bois when reader finds out they have a crush, so reader decides to mess with them a little bit by being obviously flirty and affectionate to get them all flustered before finally coming clean and admitting they like them too 😜

Okkk im not sure if you meant poly or separate so im doing all 3 for personal reasons  👀

JOSUKE

-He’s obv not very subtle. You’re gonna know if he’s got a crush

-He gonna be more handsy. by this i mean something like “omg your hands are so much smaller than mine lets compare” 

-he invites you over a lot to play video games, and will use teaching you the controls as an excuse to be close

-USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

-if he’s comparing hand sizes, go a step further and step reaaaaally close, comparing heights. He will be a blushy mess. 

-when playing video games, if he’s teaching you the controls, lean into him, brush against his legs, press your back into his chest. 

-s i t i n h i s l aaaaaaaaa p

-compliment his hair. 

-he’s going to go crazy, fumbling over his words

-once he’s putty in your hands, go in for the kill.

-”no, you have to get the duel heat by pressing-” he’ll lean over, reaching for the correct control.

-”Awww, im so lucky to have a babe like you helping me.” you plop your head on his shoulder and he’ll glitch out. 

-”if only i could call you MY babe.”  

-josuke.exe has stopped working. it’s very cute and funny. 

-He’s going to be fumbling over his words, just kiss him. seriously. 

-he’s so happy that you reciprocate his feelings, he’s going to be floating through the next few weeks. 

OKUYASU

-you’ll know he likes you because he wont. stop. complimenting. you.

-mess with him a little bit. 

-compliment him back. tell him how good he looks. he will cry. 

-buy him food, steal a french fry, and ask him if there’s any way he could possibly get the ketchup off of the corner of your mouth. 

-He will hand you a napkin but just roll with it. 

-Grasp his hand and hold it across the table. he wont know what to do. 

-Thank you so much, sweetheart. I really dont know what i’d do without you.”

-”Stop being so cute, it’s confusing.”  literally giving you :O face

-”You’re the cute one! Id be the luckiest person in the world if I could call you mine...” make him work for it. 

-His brain will compute for a hot minute, but his eyes will go wide, and he’ll lean over the table, looking like an excited puppy. 

-”You could!!!!” 

-give this boy a hug he deserves it

JOSUYASU

-They like you a lot. they always make it a point to hang out with you

-It’s very easy to pick up on, too. Every time one of them sees you their face lights up and the other will glance over and b l u s h

-sneak up behind them and toss an arm around both of them. just do it. they’ll both melt. 

-Stand in between them and hold both of their hands, they’ll have trouble sleeping because they’ll be too giddy for the rest of the day. 

-Call them your boys. say nothing else. As soon as you see them. “Ah, there’s my boys!” 

-Okuyasu will start crying. bls give him love.

-”why are you being so unusually nice to us?”

-”You two are really dense, arent you?”

-nani in tarnation?

-”I like you both, dumbasses. you’re my boys.”

-”okuyasu oh my god we’re their boys.”

-be prepared for a sandwich hug. 

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

[inky-duchess]

21 History Ancedotes for my 21st Birthday

So today I celebrate my 21st birthday and I have decided to gift you all with 21 of my favourite historical Ancedotes. Some are funny, some are sad and some are plain bizarre but I hope the make your day 💜

Mary Maloney, an Irish-born suffragette in England followed Winston Churchill around while he was campaigning for a seat in Parliament, drowning out everything he said with a very large bell and calls for him to apologise for his comments on women's rights and suffrage movements.

Clodius Pulcher was a well born Roman noble during the last day's of the Republic. He gave up his Patrician status to become Tribune of the Plebs (an office in which one had to be a Pleb) by being adopted by a much younger Plebian man who became his "father". Clodius was a bit of a riot, sneaking into religious festivals dressed like a woman to sleep with Caesar's wife, building a shrine to Liberty in the ruins of the Conservative Cicero, vetoed the last speech of one of the Consuls (who basically did nothing all year and was apparently going to roast Caesar) and burned down the Senate House with his funeral pyre (the Plebs who loved him literally tearing up the furniture to build his pyre). He was honestly the best fun.

When laying on her deathbed, Queen Caroline of Ansbach turned to her husband George II of England and told him he should marry again. George refused to ever wed again... But added he would have mistresses. Caroline said , likely with a roll of her eyes, "oh my god that doesn't matter."

Florence was a pretty cool city in the Renaissance until Savanorola came to town. He disliked the loose living artists that crowded the city, with their naked pagan gods and rampant homosexuality. He expelled them all with help of the French hoping to make Florence Holy Again. When the Borgia Pope excommunicated him and sentenced him to death, one man in the crowd was reported to have said. "thank God, niw we can return to sodomy." One Floretine man in the 1490s said Gay Rights.

So this list couldn't be complete without an entry of the only American politician I love, Alexander Hamilton who was just a walking entity of sass. I could go on about his sharp sarcasm or his disaster bi vibes with John Lauren's but my all time favourite Alexander Hamilton ancedote has to be this exchange with Thomas Jefferson "There are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair."

Caterina Sforza was an Italian noble woman during the Renaissance. She was apart of the powerful Sforza family, which drew many enemies to her. One fateful day at Forli, Caterina's children were snatched as hostages. The besiegers threatened to kill her children if she did not cede the castle. Caterina refused, lifting her skirts and shouted to the besiegers that she had the means to make more children.

Hannibal Lecter's creator Thomas Harris was happy to end his great character's story with the original trilogy. However his publishers forced him to write an unneeded prequel explaining why Hannibal became Hannibal. Thomas Harris agreed lest he lose the rights to his character so he wrote Hannibal Rising, where Hannibal as a young man hunts down the Nazis who ate his sister with a katana.

Nell Gwyn is my favourite mistress of Charles II, mainly because of her sass. Once while trapped in the middle of a riot where Londoners swamped her carriage thinking she was Charles's Catholic mistress. She popped her head out the carriage and told the people "Pray good people be civil. I am the Protestant whore." She also dosed her rival Moll Davis with laxatives in order to free up some of Charles's time and she once flashed her underwear at the French ambassador after asking him why the Franch King did not pay her to spy on Charles because she was with him every night. A true Queen.

Emperor Ai of the Han Dynasty of China once rose from his bed to go do some ruling when he realised his lover, Dong Xian was sleeping on his sleeve. Rather than disturb his lover, the Emperor cut his sleeve off at the wrist to leave Dong Xian nap. Nothing has ever been more romantic than that. Y'all could never.

Princess Margaret the sister of current Queen Elizabeth II was a socialable Princess and often tasked to visit the up and coming music stars of the day on behalf of the Crown. When meeting the Beatles one evening, she noticed George Harrison was acting a little odd. When she asked what was the matter, he replied "We arent allowed eat until you go." Princess Margaret laughed and promptly left so the Beatles could get some dinner.

During the Siege of Jadotsville, Irish soldiers under the flag of the UN were attacked and besieged by local insurgents allied with the Katanga Regime. The insurgents numbered thousands while the Irish only had 158 soldiers, all who were lightly armed. They radioed to their allies assuring them that "we will hold out until our last bullet is spent. Could use some whiskey though".

Napoleon was famous for writing raunchy letters to his wife, the Empress Josephine while he was away. She used to reply with really mundane letters or not at all. She really just could not be bothered with him.

Josip Broz Tito was so fed up with Joseph Stalin sending assassins to kill him, he wrote to Stalin personally to say "If you don't stop sending assassins to kill me. I will send one to Moscow and I won't have to send another." It didn't work but Big Dick Energy.

Successful Roman soldiers returning from war often got to march along in parades known as Triumphs. During this, it was customary for them to sing bawdy songs about their commander. One surviving one about Caesar goes like this "Romans, lock up your wives. Here comes the bald adulterous whore. We pissed away your gold in Gaul and come to borrow more."

Matilda, Lady of the English was a woman so badass that history cannot handle her. She was the daughter of Henry I who left his throne to her after the death of her brother. She was away in France when her father died and her throne was snatched by her cousin Stephen. They battled back and forth for years with neither side ceding any ground. Matilda was once besieged in a castle during a snow storm, with Stephen's men all around her. Instead of fighting her way out. She simply donned a white cloak and walked out of the castle. Just walked out without any of Stephen's men seeing her.

Pedro of Portugal once fell in love with a beautiful lady in waiting called Inez de Castro. For years, they lived as man and mistress, popping out a few kinds. Pedro's dad really did not like Inez and wanted Pedro to find a legitimate wife so he had her killed. Pedro returned home to find the mother of his children dead. Pedro went a little crazy. He had all his father's assassins killed, ripping out their hearts as they had done to him. When Pedro ascended the throne, he demanded the Pope legitimize his children by Inez. The Pope not wanting to upset the King, said he couldn't because Inez was never crowned Queen. Pedro dug Inez up and crowned her as Queen, having all the nobility swear loyalty to her corpse. The Pope had no choice but to agree to his request.

A famously clever general once saved an entire city with an ingenious stragety to sit outside the city waiting for the attacking army to come. The attack had come to fast for the city to ready themselves for a Siege so, the general had to move quickly. He evacuated the city and took his place waiting for the army to come. The enemy forces stopped and took one look at him and bolted, thinking he meant to lure them in one of his famous traps.

Michaelangelo was really badly treated by the Vatican when he was painting the Sistine Chapel. He constantly fought with the Popes over the design and his work, which he was paid peanuts for. Michaelangelo got his revenge in his work, painting the gates of Hell behind the Papal Throne and an angel flipping the ol' fig (the Renaissance version of the bird) toward the Pope's chair.

Peter the Great was not a perfect guy. He kept serfdom as a practise in his kingdom, he had his son tortured to death and he could be an unpleasant guy. But Peter was a dreamer. He wanted nothing more to build a fleet for Russia and bring Russia beyond its borders. Peter took a gap year from ruling Russia to wander around Europe. When he stopped in England, he was granted Leicester House to chill in while he did his shipwright studies. It was here that Peter found a new passion. The wheelbarrow. Cue Peter and his new found English buddies drinking in Leicester House, punching the artwork and rolling each other around in barrels across the house's Great gardens.

Diogenes is hands down a walking shit post. He was a great thinker in Greece during the reign of Alexander but a rather dry, sarcastic wit. He lived in a pithos/a jar because he shunned all vanities and values of society. He trolled other philosophers, attending their debates to heckle them and eat loud foods through them. When Alexander the Great came to fan boy over him, saying that if he were not Alexander he would like to be Diogenes to which Diogenes just said "yeah me too, now get out of my sunlight."

Cosimo de Medici was the son of a Floretine banker with a great knowledge and love of art. Cosimo wished for Florence to release its potentially and join the Renaissance. He hired Filippo Brunelleschi to finsh the Great Dome of Santa Maria del Fiore which had láin unfinished for over a century, a symbol of a failure of ambition. The builders had lost the knowledge of creating a dome so large so it remained unfinished. Despite much opposition from the other nobility and denouncers of the Renaissance, Cosimo's dream of the completion of the dome was completed, making it the largest brick dome in creation at that time. There is nothing like achieving your dreams and certainly nothing like leaving a lasting reminder that screams 'I was right and you were wrong' to stand for centuries.

[dapper-nahrwhale]

So I'm watching fma 2003 with my brothers girlfriend who has only seen fmab and heres some highlights of it:

Her: so does ed still give up alchemy for al in the end?

Me: I'm going to say yes but not exactly. Technically he doesnt have alchemy anymore at the end of the series. And in a roundabout way he does give it up for al. (But he gave up more than alchemy to get al back)

Her: but he still gets al back right?

Me: shrug. Not quite. Kinda. Its complicated. But yes al does come back at the end with a body. (They just aren't together, ed trapped in a war torn world without alchemy, surrounded by the faces of those he once knew from his world, and al doesnt even know what ed did having no memory of the past 4 years and in a body that's 11 again)

Her: are the homunculus are still the same?

Me: uuhhh. No. Not at all. Their origins are not the same. That is very different for a specific reason. And their personalities are a little different too. (They are created through human transmutation to bring back the dead. So their failed resurrection of their mom in a very literal way comes back to haunt them. As one of the homunculus)

Her: hoenheim has to be the same tho, hes the philosophers stone!

Me: actually in this one he used to make philosophers stone's (in order to live longer, so he did in fact orchestrate enough death to get stones enough to transmute himself to another body to live a few times over. So he is centuries old and the cause of alot of deaths)

Her: do ed and winry still get together at the end tho?

Me: hm. Surprisingly enough! no they do not. Ed doesnt get with anyone at the end. And neither does winry.

Her: but all the characters in brotherhood still come up right?

Me: well seeing as how this was done at the beginning of the manga which finished well after the show was done, no they arent in this one sorry

Her: so your telling me that tucker comes back? Scar didnt kill him?

Me: yes and that's not even the worst part about it.

Her: what happens to hughes still does tho? Because that was the saddest and darkest moment in brotherhood, I cry every time.

Me: unfortunately yes. Even more unfortunate is that it isnt the saddest moment in 2003. That has to be the ending.

Her: why is the ending sad? Dont they still get Al's body back? Even though ed gives up alchemy for him? Everyone still gets a happy ending right?

Me: I'm so glad that's what you think happens, so I'm going to let you believe that for a while. (I'm so sorry but there isnt a happy ending, not for this one, at best its bittersweet at worst they're dead, all this fighting all this death so an already ancient old woman could live a bit longer, and at the end al gets a body but not the memories and ed looses alchemy yeah but what he gave up for al was himself and it's an eye for an eye, a soul for a soul but Ed's tainted soul just wasnt enough for the toll, so hes trapped on the other side of the gate which is our world in the 1920s without alchemy without al without any of his friends and family from his world in this one surrounded by the faces of his friends and family but it's not them it's just a mirror of them that doesnt know him and theres no way back to the home you burned down yourself a long time ago and theres no coming back to a world that you traded places with for al, after all that's equivalent exchange, a life for a life.)