#quite literally this time lmao..
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okay im going to find out how different genshin is rn. i dont have money for zelda games so the knockoff gacha version will have to do. if its not horrible still. sorry i just fucking hated kind of everything about sumeru. i mean the aranaras where cute, but their quest line was literally the only one i cared about. and the restrictiveness of it all started to piss me off. you couldnt really do shit. cant catch big animals. cant interact with like anything in the world. cant even buy cooking ingredients with the small ass stock. cant lower the rendering distance. cant do quests because "a character is busy with another one of your quests", like what even is that. just hide the models if you don't want the player to see double of a character. also I really hate the animation that happens when you go to the menu/tab thing. I hate how the counters on choosing stacked objects accelerate. i hate how every character looks the same. I hate how you cant skip dialogue efficiently. i hate the arbitrary limitations in the teapot realm build mode. I hate the pointless dialogue options. I hate how the bounty enemies spawn near other enemies. i hate how the hilichurls have been proven to have sentience but the player has to continue killing them. I hate how limited the "difficulty mode" chooser is. i hate the way you have no indication on if a surface is climable or not. i hate the way trees show no indication when you've gotten all the wood that you can from one. i hate how pyro characters get cold just as easily as others, and how fire from their abilities does not affect the cold meter at all. I hate the way boss enemies cant be hit multiple times in a row, and need a pause in between every hit for them to register. i hate the way ley line blooms have no visible count down to their dissapearance, despite there existing one. i hate how they made a single new bait for every fish in sumeru. I hate how the map doesnt show underground areas. i hate how boss enemies take forever to complete their wake up animation, making surprise plummet attacks impossible. i hate how they're getting kids addicted to gambling. "Fresh and Tasty Chop Suey!". "We'll grill your entire fish!". "Fengen's Ironmongers". "Moonpies! That's what I'll make him!"...
have they released a new nation yet? im most excited about the hydro nation probably. I don't have much faith in pyro, and cryo aka uhh i forgot the name...wtv so i feel like cryo will be too story focused that you won't really get chances to do things on your own. I mean id like some old ass, fancy ass, russian empire stuff. maybe we'll get female characters that dont wear booty shorts and thigh highs. perhaps we'll get slavic faces. although thats just wishful thinking. i doubt that they'll spend money on any more player skeletons lmao. although they really arent doing shit with the models either. actually yeah, even if they didnt want to pay someone to make new skeleton rigs, they could definetly do a lot more with the models than what theyre doing now. like genuinely it would not be hard to alter the models to make each one at least a bit unique. like please dont continue to do that smooth skinny dolls with little noses ass shit. also why are their faces so bare. most there is is when the hair covers a part of their faces. but like,, tattoos? smudges? freckles? moles? scars? birthmarks? piercings? like literally anything omg.
i dont have any faith in HoYo to have fixed any of these tbh. i just like having games that have routine things you can do every day, with no big consequences if you miss a day or a week. ill see what updates i can find on it. ill probably download it either way, even if it still sucks and feels tiring. ill delete it if I hate it so much.
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portrait study but its kenny
#south park#kenny mccormick#sp kenny#south park fanart#shroomer's art !#shroomer's archives: south park#shroomer's finished art !#kenny is quite literally my muse#also its 2 am so it took me quite literally 5 minutes to think of what to caption this only to come up with that#this is actually for one of my classes' final assignment that we were given like 3-4 weeks to do#and i did it in one day lmao#anyways i really wanted to experiment with different texture brushes and a different rendering style#because i dont believe in having a consistent artstyle#my favorite kenny piece to date <3#if i had a nickel for every time i made a drawing of a south park character with an eye straining red-blue color palette#id have two nickels#which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice#i actually had to tone down the colors because IT WAS SO RED AND SO BLUE INITIALLY but i think it worked out for the best#cause the orange fits way better with the whole kenny thing#tw: eyestrain
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silly red dancing gif i made !! :3
originally i was gonna add cat headphones, because it was based off someone sending red music recommendations on the red askblog (cough cough @kittycatred sorry self promo) but its literally 5am as im typing this so i didnt feel like adding that right now :,) also i realized after making this that it looks VERY similar to this by starrypawu and that was purely by accident oops!! i think i got unintentionally inspired though so im linking it just in case for credit !! :D also timelapse ?? speedpaint ?? (whatever its called for animation lmao) below !! !! FLASH WARNING !! THOUGH cause i flip the canvas ALOT and switch frames alot and its sped up !! (also ignore the timeeee....ignore the time....shhhh i wasnt up until 5am at all....)
its 3 minutes long but i sped it up AS MUCH AS I COULD sorry its like 5 hrs of footage originally so thats why </3
#okay so this is quite literally only my second time animating on clipstudio so if theres any errors or anything just ignore it LMAO#also its 5:30am help i did NOT mean to stay up LMAO#i was originally just gonna draw red with cat headphones for the red blog until i was like ooh what if i animated them instead#and then i was too tired to even add the headphones SO LMAO :')#i dunno how i did this though im not gonna even lie like i dont animate much although id love to more#but ive only ever animated stick figures aside from 3 months ago animating a little test that was actually drawn but it wasnt-#-anything like this or anything HOW DID I DO THIS#and i did frame by frame...........i am baffled at myself#like okay as im typing this cause ive been staring at it for 5 hours it looks a little choppy and kinda stiff to me#but for ??? my rarely animating skill ???? im still suprised LMAO#also note on the minecraft notes....i didnt feel like reanimating it so i TRIED to color it yellow it didnt rlly match the actual yellow-#-note but oh well i did not wanna reanimate that rn </3#okay im rambling i need to go to bed hopefully you guys enjoy thisss cause i need to sleep </3#solar draws#alan becker#animation vs minecraft#animator vs animation#red avm#ava red#avm#avm red#red ava#ava fanart#animation vs animator#animator vs minecraft#minecraft#art#artists on tumblr#digital artist#animation
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Pac: I'm gonna see if I can manage to... to raise my- my kids [minimes], Fit.
Fit: Ok, yeah yeah! If you need any help with that, let me know, ok? By the way, here– [He tosses Pac some green mushrooms] Take a few of these. You might have to feed those to the kids [minimes], and it's like, a pain in the ass to get, so...
Pac: Fit, are you raising kids, like, underneath a van and giving them mushrooms??? What are you doing!
Fit: [Stammers] I'm a Florida man, I'm a Florida man!
Pac: Ok, yeah. Ok, yeah, you're a Florida man, everything makes sense now. [Laughs] You are a good parent, you are a good dad.
Fit: I try. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much Pac. [He pats his chest, over his heart, and laughs]
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
—
Pac: I'm gonna see if I can manage to... to raise my- my kids [minimes], Fit.
Fit: Ok, yeah yeah! If- if you need any help with that, let me know, ok?
Pac: Yeah! Ok, ok, I'm gonna create the room, and later on we can chat!
Fit: By the way, here– [He tosses Pac some green mushrooms] Take a few of these.
Pac: Oh! Wait, what is this? Mushroom?
Fit: You might have to feed those to the kids [minimes], and it's like, a pain in the ass to get, so...
Pac: You- you have been feeding your kids with green mushrooms? [Laughs]
Fit: Look– they wanted 'em! So– you know? I mean–
Pac: Fit, are you raising kids, like, underneath a van and giving them mushrooms??? What are you doing!
Fit: [Stammers] I'm a Florida man, I'm a Florida man! I'm a Florida man.
Pac: Ok, yeah. Ok, yeah, you're a Florida man, everything makes sense now. [Laughs]
Fit: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Pac: You just do some shenanigans with them, that's all! Yeah.
Fit: Yeah, exactly, you understand! You understand, yes yes.
Pac: You are a good parent, you are a good dad. You're a good dad.
Fit: I try. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much Pac. [He pats his chest, over his heart] Thank you. [Laughs]
#FitMC#Pactw#QSMP#Hideduo#FitPac#October 26 2023#I'll be honest I stumbled across this VOD the other day and choked on my tea hearing Fit say#''If you need any help with that let me know'' right after Pac said he was going to go raise his kids#What kind of accidental romance novel ass line is that#Sorry I got way too in my head hearing that#If you need help raising your kids let me know –> I want to help you raise your kids –> let's raise kids together#It is NOT that deep but that's just what my brain instantly jumped to. I'm posting this for my own sake so I can get it out of my head#Edit: It's so funny reading back all these tags because I rendered this entire thing days ago then straight up forgot to post it LMAO#Anyway#Edited#Fit#Pac#Re: the van comment– Fit actually WAS quite literally raising his minimes under a van#Anyway x2: every time Pac said Fit was a good dad I just clutch my heart and keel over#There's a part 2 to this but I'll post it tomorrow
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so we all know life is a circle. thus fandom is a circle. we see things come back around like the de/twinkification of racetrack higgins. or cowboy versus artist jack kelly. or "mom" friend david jacobs and the perpetual need to make the newsies some kind of heteronormative family. and yet again we've found our way back to the anti katherine pulitzer arc of her "getting in the way" of jack and davey's popular subtextual/fanon relationship. (yes im late nevermind that.)
now, not being a katherine fan is different than being anti-katherine. not being a katherine fan means you might have criticisms like "i'm not sure how she serves the newsies narrative better than, say, sarah jacobs, as sarah is more aligned with the newsies contextually/societally and katherine is very distant and rich lol", or even "i'm not a big fan of how katherine seems to be tired of jack's shit for most of the play and then 'suddenly' finds romantic interest in him within one song".
but being anti-singular-young-woman-character because of a ship between the main two boys is. a tired take is it not? again with the circle, we've had this discourse already and its been cut out. since 2012 and 2017 we been talking about this girl and her value, but not in the context we should be.
(because the context we should be talking about it in is a newsies 1992 versus newsies broadway context, not an anti-katherine context, but i digress.)
katherine's value. what is there to mine from? she is an extremely young woman reporter, 17-18 years old, whose article makes the front page of the new york sun. since she writes under a pseudonym, i'm presuming she writes with skill well above her age to be published at all (yes, even writing vaudeville reviews). in past productions she either finds the newsies at jacobi's because she saw the walk-out (TWWK) from inside The World (UK), or jack kelly simply interests her enough for her to seek him out again (Broadway/Tour/Live). she is unsure about herself as a writer despite her skill which is made clear in her song. she is rich. she did not need to have a career and was encouraged not to. pulitzer is her father and she does not get along with him. she matches jack word for word, often with davey at her side. she mills comfortably about the newsies through the second act and has a friendship of some kind with specs specifically. she also literally says "that's a face [jack's] that could save us all from sinking in the ocean/like someone said 'power tends to corrupt'" essentially prophesying the act 2 betrayal. which is crazy.
you can draw your own conclusions from the above, but all of it is essentially canon? right? so maybe you don't have to be a fan of all of it, but you're really going to tell me absolutely none of this is compelling. that none of this is something you can interpret for yourself as complex. that albert is more complex.
this is not me saying you have to include katherine in everything, because that isn't what this post is about. this is about individuals choosing to dislike or devalue katherine by only viewing her in relation to her as a romantic interest, instead of a complex character in a period piece with a full arc. yes a full arc. it's the musical that's rushed not katherine.
@we-are-inevitable speaks on this extremely well in the comments of this post as well, more in connection to katherine as being a compelling romantic interest in the context of newsies speaking in the defense of love interests/often women characters. in this post i speak on how i would navigate jack/katherine as a director, and in this post i speak on how to direct something to believe in to make it, well, believable, aside from its awful writing for both kath and jack. because again, fandom is a circle, and i literally talked about how to "fix" jatherine in august 2024. at length
#literally scheduling this 8hrs from now cause my visibility is good at like 11am-12pm lmao?????#anyway i wanted to talk ab this for a bit but the reason i didnt till a few days later is bc like.#i just feel like i HAVE already#MULTIPLE times. in 2023 too for uksies katherine bc i rly wanted a jath push for a black jack kelly#AND i feel like i talked abt this adjacently with girlsie spot conlon as well. since its quite pointed that she's a rare find round here.#katherine plumber#katherine pulitzer#as for the pseudonym- yes her dad knows she writes but idt the sun knows its her bc they'd be like to pulitzer:#'just have her write in the world'. yk. why would they let joe pulitzer's kid on their pages. they DONT KNOW ITS HER#newsies#newsies the musical#newsies broadway#livesies#newsies live#newsies uk#uksies#jack kelly#davey jacobs#mutuals#jac ily for ur comments on ur post they are truly so clear-worded and like. logical.#fizz freaks#fizz writes#maybe#rizz.analysis#<- best tag on the blog btw.
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seasons tux recolors — by newbeesims
i recolored this seasons tux for all your formalwear needs! the original tux has its fair share of swatches, but i knew it would be so much more useful if it came in the same classic colors i used for my base game suit recolors. perfect for any black tie weddings, glamorous parties, or just a fancy night out! as always, more love for all the masc-framed sims! 🍷✨
requires seasons
teen - elder
12 new swatches (6 suit colors, each with solid color and black accent versions)
download for free (sfs, no ads)
#ts4cc#maxis match#s4cc#ts4mm#sims4cc#thesims4cc#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#sims4#thesims4#newbeesims#my cc#would you be mad if i said i've been sitting on these recolors for almost a year LMAO#literally have had them in my game for just as long as my bg suits......#i was just too lazy to fix some small details for the longest time oops#and don't even get me STARTED on their poses#quite literally have been playing sim tetris over the past 2 days
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literally had a dream that for some reason andreil fight and andrew leaves neil, and in the process he kinda drops off the face of the earth and no one knows where he is and no one can get in contact with him, and just a few weeks later neil finds out he's pregnant
there was no exy going on in this universe, and neil practically spends the entire pregnancy indoors hidden with wymack and abby, doing his best to keep the foxes out of anything, and when she comes, its them against the world and its them taking care of the baby
at least, until a year later, andrew decides to come back, but neil, oh neil refuses to let him in on this after abandoning him
someone please write this lmao
#i quite literally dreamt this lmao#there was also some kind of apocalypse going on at the same time ngl#aftg#andreil#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#aftg au#trans neil josten
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I’M SCREAMING



… UH I THINK SOMEONE DID END UP IN A POND WITH A GIANT PIKE POKING INTO HIS BUSINESS

#why is this so funny to me#lisbon is quite literally jane’s business that pike is poking into lmao#unintentional foreshadowing at its finest#I mean I think it’s unintentional#if the writers called him Pike just because of this S3 scene they deserve even more awards#the things you only notice the second time you watch a show#thank god pike wasn’t the bigger fish after all#the mentalist#patrick jane#teresa lisbon#marcus pike#3x21#6x21
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The Great history: How I got my Stone Prince
Aban Stone couldn't stop his sudden need to protect Ivo; he had felt like this before, towards his doctor, only towards his doctor, so in a way, he could understand why he felt that way. Because Ivo was the past of his doctor, Ivo was who he had been, while his doctor was who Ivo would be. So while uncontrollable, it was obviously expected that the agent would care for and protect the child, after all, doing the same for his doctor was second nature for him.
Helping him take a bath.
Giving him food.
Answering his endless questions, which were testimony to the magnificent intelligence of his doctor.
Getting him better clothes, clothes that Ivo deserved.
All that was easy.
Caring for Ivo was easy.
While the child was searching for some of the inventions that his future self had done through the years, Stone investigated the best way to raise a child, all that was needed for a perfect environment for Ivo to grow.
Just as he finished reading, his doctor came. He seemed furious, so he let his doctor blow off steam until his doctor screamed suddenly.
He looked down, and there was Ivo, equally furious.
The child and his doctor started a screaming match, but he didn't care; he only focused on how Ivo's eyes were glistering, full of unshed tears, so he, without thinking, hugged him.
Ivo felt warm; he had never felt so warm before. When his Mr Stone hugged him, he didn't think that he had ever felt so safe, so secure.
His heart felt weird, a good weird though, like a happy thing, he decided that he had to stay. Ivo couldn't be without his agent anymore.
He had never felt so good; nobody had ever cared so much for him before, and he knew that his Mr Stone must feel the same, because why else would he comfort him while his older self was also there?
Mr Stone must like him more, because that's the word, right?
<<Like: Find agreeable, enjoyable, or satisfactory.>>
His Mr Stone must prefer him over the old man. After all, he had been so happy when they were together, so smiley. Now he was hugging him, even after he screamed at the old man.
Ivo decided that he would like his Mr Stone too.
He cuddled a bit closer to his Mr Stone, when he noticed that the old troll freeze, Ivo whimpered so his Mr Stone would look at him instead to the other.
After some seconds, his Stone started to talk with the old man, and he smiled proudly to the old troll when their eyes met. They had the same eyes but Ivo was sure that his eyes were prettier, he also was sure that if he had some days he would have his Stone all for himself...
Just some more battles against the old troll and his Stone would only worry about him.
"That imp needs to leave!!" screamed the old man.
He looked sadly at his Stone, the simply idea of leaving and be without his Stone, was enough for him truly look sad.
When his Stone looked back at the old man to keep protecting Ivo, he signed to the old man "Ivo 1, Oldman 0".
The old troll looked more furious than any other adult he had ever seen but the only thing that Ivo felt, appart of his like to his Stone, was pride.
The loser shrieked as he turned and left.
He must be more controlled when he grow up, he couldn't let his Stone to see him being so pathetic. Ivo looked up at his Stone and found that he seemed worried, looking to where the old man went.
He didn't like that.
His Stone took him to the couch were they have been sitting together before. Once there, his Stone sat him there and smiled.
"Can you wait for me here, Ivo?" he asked, and Ivo nodded, then his Stone continued, "the doctor seemed bothered about something so, I'll go and check on him, I'll be back soon."
With that, his Stone left, and Ivo waited a whole minute before following him as quietly as he could. The badniks helped him; it was obvious that they had already realised that he was the superior one. After going through two hallways, he found the room where the old man was most likely licking his sore ego. Was Ivo proud of this? Yes, he was very proud, if only his Stone hadn't gone to coddle the old troll.
The door was slightly open, so Ivo stood close next to the wall, he wanted to see what was happening, but he knew better, so he just listened.
"I do not understand, doctor."
"Obviously you don't! Your brain is barely more evolved than a chimpanzee's!"
Ivo had to control himself to not get inside and bite the old troll.
"He's yourself! I am supposed to protect you, therefore, his safety is also my job!"
"The best way to do your job now is to let me dispose of that little imp!!!"
His Stone almost answered, Ivo was sure of it, when there was a weird sound and then silence. He wondered what was happening...
Before Ivo could dare to peep inside, the door banged open, making him jump. His Stone had a gun pointed at him, a real one, looking as handsome as the stupid girls in the orphanage said princes were supposed to be.
He suddenly felt his face become warm, and his heart was beating wildly in his ears.
His Stone, who was just like a prince, blinked in surprise before worryingly putting back the gun and kneeling to be at a similar height to Ivo.
He could only see his Stone talking, looking worried about himself; he could feel his Stone arms surrounding him in a hug, he could see his concerned eyes, and he could feel his Stone warm surrounding him.
Agent Aban Stone was terribly worried about his younger charge. When he went to talk with his doctor, he had ignored the possibility that Ivo might not obey him, which was a ridiculous mistake on his part, because he knew his doctor better than anyone else in the world, and he should have thought of such possibility.
He turned to his doctor, fearing what he might think of himself now, but his doctor seemed perplexed, observing them with the eyes of someone who had just discovered the most unexpected thing. The agent looked at the child who was red in fury/fear/shame (???). Stone was ashamed to not know.
He felt so much guilt for ever having directed his gun towards his doctor, towards Ivo Robotnik. He didn't know what to say to fix it, nor what to do, for the first time since he could remember, Aban Stone didn't know what to do.
Once again, he turned to his doctor, searching for some kind of sign, searching for anything that might give him a clue of what to do.
The agent didn't know what to wish. If he hadn't felt someone peering at the door, he wouldn't have signed to his doctor about some spy outside, he wouldn't have pointed a gun towards Ivo, who was sweet and the smartest child in the world. But if he hadn't felt someone at the door, and had been a real danger, his doctor might have been in danger, Ivo might have been in danger, and he wouldn't have forgotten himself if anything had happened to either of them.
The three of them stayed there near the door of Robotnik's office, one standing confused, the other overthinking in his worry, and the last one feeling a kind of weird feeling that he had never felt before.
The badniks that were waiting outside the door observed their creator, their helper and their little newest brother, had their creator make them more emotionally advanced, they would say that it seemed at some disorienting moment for everyone
At the end, Robotnik decided that it had been enough for one day and told Stone to take the... child to sleep; he would finish the machine the next day.
#stobotnik#baby Ivo vs Robotnik#well well well#look at me continuing this thing#all thanks to the ao3 fellas tbh#cuz apparently I'm a sucker for praises#maybe my sis was right and I'm like a dog#anyway#agent stone#ivo robotnik#dr robotnik#stone#doctor eggman#baby ivo stole the show#quite literally#I want my baby Stone to be more but ivo said: hold my crayons#will publish this in ao3 later lmao#I think this is like my third time talking/writting about this au????#damn
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I feel like Donnie rarely learns his lessons about how his behavior affects people. And I think that’s a lot because he’s extremely babied by his family when it comes to emotions. Not in the “protecting his feeling”way of babying but in the sense he’s not trusted in emotional situations. Mikey tried to teach him in the episode “Breaking Purple” but it didn’t really work. Again because he kind of being babied about it. Mikey’s whole “seminar” came off as extremely condescending. What really changed Donnie’s mind was seeing Sheldon in danger and a legitimate heart to heart. I know I’m kinda just rambling at this point but I just don’t think telling him he’s wrong works because he just takes it as an insult rather than constructive criticism.
mmmm soft disagree. i dont really think they baby him at all. there are several instances of raph shouting at him or even swatting him, and they're very quick to call him out when he does things that actually upset or anger them (+ yeah, he mostly learns his lessons through SEEING the consequences of his bad decisions. in smart lair shelldon was hacked because he programmed him to favor him in the first place, in mind meld he comes face to face with how much he does actually miss and need his family as they are-- and i've talked extensively about donnie's gifts and how people are too harsh to him there and seen several posts about it already so im not gonna yap about it again). they are comedically rude to each other about these things, and donnie's tendency to shirk responsibility is contradicted by his swiftness to self-correct in literally every other way. just because he doesn't verbally acknowledge it or jokes around it doesn't mean he doesn't do it.
doctor feelings is designed to be condescending and i think that's just how mikey is, really. he'd do it to leo or raph too, and he does act similar to draxum who is a grown man and his psuedo-father-- i think its more reflective of mikey as a person than how he sees donnie. when donnie is actually being alarmingly hurtful to other people, it's the result of him not feeling heard; that's usually what it always is, with the exception of breaking purple i suppose. i cannot pathologize that outside of him being a neurotic teen parent who doesn't know how to act because of his own daddy issues lmao
#ask#i see a lot of people who will talk about how donnie is never held accountable while making leo into a martyr and a victim of his family#and i think both counts are wrong and i dont think anyone is a victim here. they consistently hold each other accountable all the time#its probably why im put off by talking about anyone in the cast like this .... i do think you have a point its just not how i see it#i think the crux of it that needs to be understood is that these comical slapstick situations that are Horrible and traumatic to us#are like proportionate to arguing over the laundry for them-- such is the case of donnie's gifts and smart lair for example#they're acting like siblings bickering over moving shit around on the chore chart.#and that's partially just because theyre in a cartoon but i also think its just because that's kind of how their life is#they're quite literally built different#when i say i dont like how donnie treats april i understand its comedic and not a big deal i just dont think its FUNNY lmao
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if you've never befriended George StardewValley then that's ur loss, what a guy ❤️
#hes such a sweetheart#he loves his leeks! and little else <3#literally the first person i got to 10 hearts this time lmaooo#george stardew valley#sdv#trash.txt#stardew valley#i tagged this as stardew vallet at first lmao you quit your office job to park cars
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thank you to all of you who have tagged me for my on repeat @kaaaaaaarf @wanderingdonut @fruityindividual (sash you’re about to never think highly of my taste again </3) and in the spirit of @polaroidcats saying she is being honest…. fear I’m about to be cyber bullied for this … but I’m feeling brave … also OPEN TAG FOR EVERYONE <3333

#machine gun Kelly jn top two is actually criminal I need to be shot#I liked the song a lot in like 2020 when I first heard it and now it reminds me of 2020 which actually isn’t a good thing#dare I say morale has been low#I quite literally almost didn’t post this lmao#I feel it’s important to note I listen to the same song on repeat for extended periods of time#I listened to wait for it like 4 days straight deadass#also taxi…#and u asked me is the sadness everlasting … I pulled u close and looked at u and said… love I think it is…#ok#and I’m STARING DOWN THE BARREL OF A 45#SWIMMING THROUGH THE ASHES OF ANOTHER LIFE#it’s giving alternate version of creeds one last breath tbh
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...just discovered i still have my morrigan cosplay from 10+ years ago that consisted of 10 DOG COLLARS and TAPE, ruined clothes and very bad costume making skills
would anyone like to see or do i officially throw it out and forget it lol
#i unfortunately had a very bad time at the convention i made it for and tore it off the moment i was home#so it quite literally suffers from wear and tear#i don't entirely know why I'm even asking because it sure as hell isn't for people to say 'it wasn't that bad' lmao#idk maybe it'll be motivating in some backwards way
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as promised, here it is: The Big Life Update Post (aka m where the hell have u been and what the hell is going on with this blog)
TLDR: went thru it, came out better for it, i love y'all. and we're getting back into this writing thing as i have the time and capacity 🥳
2023 has been a bit of a whirlwind, to put it very mildly. while the first three months started off relatively smoothly, my saturn return began in the middle of march. only a few short weeks after that... well, i'd basically say everything went off the fucking rails.
content warning: drama talk incoming ft. extremely brief mentions of racism and racist hate mail (no specific details shared).
i haven't spoken on this yet since everything happened, and i want to be explicitly clear that i won't be speaking on it further after this post. but i just want you to understand where i've been at since april.
i will own it entirely and say: i fucked up. i put content in a story that i shouldn't have, that i had no business speaking on, and i think people were well within their right to call me out on it, one hundred percent. however, after i went offline at the end of april, my friends ended up learning that the person who initially stirred up all of the "tea", and submitted the first several anonymous posts about me to a hate blog, was actually someone i knew well and considered a friend.
this was someone whose stories i gladly beta'd, someone i consoled through multiple hard moments in their life, someone i actually even met in person. yep. this was also someone who had read the chapter of my story that featured the problematic content when it was released, and proceeded to send me paragraphs upon paragraphs of how much they enjoyed it, and the story as a whole. this is not to say that people can't change their minds on content after sitting with it, not at all. but to think that i had been through so much with this person, done so much to be there for them, and that they never once gave me any reason to think we were anything other than close friends. yet ultimately, they didn't feel they could come directly to me... or find quite literally any other way of dealing with the issue?
instead, they chose to send multiple messages about me to a hate blog, as well as hateful anons to several of my friends, thinking that we wouldn't know it was them (we did). not only that, but their actions encouraged an actual torrent of racist hate mail to be sent to all of my non-white friends who publicly chose to support me. ultimately, they ended up admitting all of this, and still, they never once apologized or showed even a single iota of remorsefulness or responsibility for the onslaught of vitriol they incited. (even though, you know, this whole thing was supposedly about how racism is bad.)
and this user is still on the platform, operating under a new blog name and pseudonym. so. that's fun. 💀
i don't say this to beat a dead horse, or to drum up sympathy, because i promise i don't want it. it's been long enough, i understand the mistakes i made, and i've done my part to take accountability for my actions. but i needed to start this post here to have you all understand where i was at the end of april - just in time for yoongi's tour 🤪 - in many ways, i felt like i had no friends, at least none that i could really trust. i felt unsure who might have been acting one way to my face, perhaps even praising me, but talking different about me behind my back. and it was beyond fucking nervewracking to think that i would be meeting so many friends IRL for the first time, quite literally days after what essentially felt like a public execution.
i wasn't doing well, to say the least.
and then... the funniest thing happened.
y'all showed the fuck up for me. in droves. in a way that i have quite literally never experienced in my lifetime and doubt i ever will again. even recounting it now is lowkey giving me chills. i received, literally, yes i counted, hundreds of DMs from the most incredibly kind people- on tumblr, on twitter, on discord, in AO3 comments. the vast majority of you wrote paragraphs: about what my stories have meant to you, about how you found my blog to be a safe space in the noise of the world, about how much you'd enjoyed our time together here. so many of you said something along the lines of "even if you never come back here again, please keep writing". honestly, for like a week straight all i could do was read my DMs and cry and cry and cry.
i didn't receive a single hateful DM. not one.
as if that alone isn't more blessings than i deserve in an entire lifetime, i also, you know. saw five shows of agust d on tour. (my credit card is still recovering.) spent two of the best nights of my life in pit getting a water bottle baptism and screaming myself hoarse. and met dozens of incredible moots, who held me when i cried, scream-laughed with me, and of course, drank plenty of booze with me.
at a time where i wondered to myself if i even had a single true friend in this fandom (or, like, in the world), you all showed me that i had so much more. that we had so much more-- we had a community. and i believe we still do. and i am more than ready to block out all the shit that doesn't matter and get back to having some fun around here.
in short: thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. if you sent me a sweet word, i promise you, i read it (and probably cried lmao). i wouldn't be doing any of this without you. i will never ever deserve all the love that you have shown me. but for as long as you'll have me, i'd love to have a fun stupid horny time in this little corner of the internet. as a part of our community. what a fucking gift it is. 🫶
phew. okay, so- that was april and may. it's november. what the fuck happened?
i knew i wanted to properly take time to get my head on straight before i found my way back to writing. what i wasn't expecting was to 1. fall in love, 2. get a new job, and 3. move myself and my cat approximately 800 miles across the country... but yeah, since the end of may, those 3 things are exactly what i've been doing!
i won't talk too much about my partner here, because our relationship is important enough to me that i want to keep it largely private, but my god. he is the most incredible human. i can't tell you how much of what i wrote out as silly little daydreams in my fanfiction has somehow manifested itself into this very real human being (like, it's kinda crazy lmao 🙈). i'm grateful for him every single day. and what makes it even more special is that we met for the first time in person while i was traveling for yoongi's tour - yep! he saw me going through so much upheaval, and fell for me all the same. just another thing i will never fully believe i deserve. but goddamn do i feel luckyyyyy 🥰
and in addition to my amazing partner (and in part because of him but honestly i had plans to move before i had even met this man it just happened to work out okay 🙄) i have also finally managed to do what i've been planning for the last year and a half, which is move my ass out of the southern suburbs where i'd been for nearly a decade, and to a ✨walkable city that actually has public transit✨ - what a fucking dream. i may have only been here 8 days, and i may not have much more to my name than my cat, my TV, and my mattress, but i swear to god, i've never been this happy in my entire life.
so yeah. exhale. like i said, it's been quite the year.
now i do want to end this with a small caveat, which is to say, i can't make a promise as to how much i can *be* here (particularly not compared to how terminally online i used to be lmao). i spent a lot of time online because i was unhappy and feeling very stuck with where i was in life, and i needed escapism, bad. now, i've finally gotten to a place where i'm excited to go out of my house and do things, but i still want to make intentional time for tumblr as a form of connection and community, and writing as a form of creative expression. these things are really important to me!!! i just ask that you give me some grace if i'm a little slow on the uptake. i promise i'm still here 🥰
and writing is gonna happen!!! i can't say much more than that, because tbh i haven't so much as opened a google doc since april, but i've been itching to get back to it. maybe.... we might start off....... with some........... drabble requests??? 👀 we'll see we'll see we'll see hehe.
in any case, i think that's more than enough for now 🤪 oh how i've missed babbling to you all, the gay people in my phone. i hope you're well, and if ya feel so inclined, i'd love it if you'd send me a comment or a DM on what you've been up to in the many months it's been since we've spoke! what's new in your life? what are we manifesting??
talk so so soon, eeeeee~ i'm so happy to be back~ love you babes!!! 🤍
#mposting#quite literally the longest mpost of all time#if you read the whole thing i LOVE YOU#if you don't i understand lmao i too have adhd
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oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#‘ann werent you just pairing olivia with thar—‘ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigo’s way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his mother’s grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble he’ll insist upon bringing—#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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who’s gonna tell jayvik stans that their final scenes were parallel to vi and jinx and vander as a demonstration of familial love and the lengths you’d go for it
#arcane spoilers#quite literally in the same segment might i add#i might put jayvik on a dni LMAO#‘we got lesbian and gay sex in one ep’ i WILL kill you#ur not gonna lump my lesbian baddies w your weird ass fixation! yall didn’t win shit#LIKE WHY ARE YALL REDUCING JAYCE AND VIKTOR’S DYNAMIC . stop it#the level of vitriol i’ve been seeing in regards to caitvi’s showtime is just so.#interpret what u want but as i’ve said mannnyyyyy times. when you have a show feeding u sm other better things with a women centric story#i’m judging u! ty
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