okay im going to find out how different genshin is rn. i dont have money for zelda games so the knockoff gacha version will have to do. if its not horrible still. sorry i just fucking hated kind of everything about sumeru. i mean the aranaras where cute, but their quest line was literally the only one i cared about. and the restrictiveness of it all started to piss me off. you couldnt really do shit. cant catch big animals. cant interact with like anything in the world. cant even buy cooking ingredients with the small ass stock. cant lower the rendering distance. cant do quests because "a character is busy with another one of your quests", like what even is that. just hide the models if you don't want the player to see double of a character. also I really hate the animation that happens when you go to the menu/tab thing. I hate how the counters on choosing stacked objects accelerate. i hate how every character looks the same. I hate how you cant skip dialogue efficiently. i hate the arbitrary limitations in the teapot realm build mode. I hate the pointless dialogue options. I hate how the bounty enemies spawn near other enemies. i hate how the hilichurls have been proven to have sentience but the player has to continue killing them. I hate how limited the "difficulty mode" chooser is. i hate the way you have no indication on if a surface is climable or not. i hate the way trees show no indication when you've gotten all the wood that you can from one. i hate how pyro characters get cold just as easily as others, and how fire from their abilities does not affect the cold meter at all. I hate the way boss enemies cant be hit multiple times in a row, and need a pause in between every hit for them to register. i hate the way ley line blooms have no visible count down to their dissapearance, despite there existing one. i hate how they made a single new bait for every fish in sumeru. I hate how the map doesnt show underground areas. i hate how boss enemies take forever to complete their wake up animation, making surprise plummet attacks impossible. i hate how they're getting kids addicted to gambling. "Fresh and Tasty Chop Suey!". "We'll grill your entire fish!". "Fengen's Ironmongers". "Moonpies! That's what I'll make him!"...
have they released a new nation yet? im most excited about the hydro nation probably. I don't have much faith in pyro, and cryo aka uhh i forgot the name...wtv so i feel like cryo will be too story focused that you won't really get chances to do things on your own. I mean id like some old ass, fancy ass, russian empire stuff. maybe we'll get female characters that dont wear booty shorts and thigh highs. perhaps we'll get slavic faces. although thats just wishful thinking. i doubt that they'll spend money on any more player skeletons lmao. although they really arent doing shit with the models either. actually yeah, even if they didnt want to pay someone to make new skeleton rigs, they could definetly do a lot more with the models than what theyre doing now. like genuinely it would not be hard to alter the models to make each one at least a bit unique. like please dont continue to do that smooth skinny dolls with little noses ass shit. also why are their faces so bare. most there is is when the hair covers a part of their faces. but like,, tattoos? smudges? freckles? moles? scars? birthmarks? piercings? like literally anything omg.
i dont have any faith in HoYo to have fixed any of these tbh. i just like having games that have routine things you can do every day, with no big consequences if you miss a day or a week. ill see what updates i can find on it. ill probably download it either way, even if it still sucks and feels tiring. ill delete it if I hate it so much.
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as promised, here it is: The Big Life Update Post (aka m where the hell have u been and what the hell is going on with this blog)
TLDR: went thru it, came out better for it, i love y'all. and we're getting back into this writing thing as i have the time and capacity 🥳
2023 has been a bit of a whirlwind, to put it very mildly. while the first three months started off relatively smoothly, my saturn return began in the middle of march. only a few short weeks after that... well, i'd basically say everything went off the fucking rails.
content warning: drama talk incoming ft. extremely brief mentions of racism and racist hate mail (no specific details shared).
i haven't spoken on this yet since everything happened, and i want to be explicitly clear that i won't be speaking on it further after this post. but i just want you to understand where i've been at since april.
i will own it entirely and say: i fucked up. i put content in a story that i shouldn't have, that i had no business speaking on, and i think people were well within their right to call me out on it, one hundred percent. however, after i went offline at the end of april, my friends ended up learning that the person who initially stirred up all of the "tea", and submitted the first several anonymous posts about me to a hate blog, was actually someone i knew well and considered a friend.
this was someone whose stories i gladly beta'd, someone i consoled through multiple hard moments in their life, someone i actually even met in person. yep. this was also someone who had read the chapter of my story that featured the problematic content when it was released, and proceeded to send me paragraphs upon paragraphs of how much they enjoyed it, and the story as a whole. this is not to say that people can't change their minds on content after sitting with it, not at all. but to think that i had been through so much with this person, done so much to be there for them, and that they never once gave me any reason to think we were anything other than close friends. yet ultimately, they didn't feel they could come directly to me... or find quite literally any other way of dealing with the issue?
instead, they chose to send multiple messages about me to a hate blog, as well as hateful anons to several of my friends, thinking that we wouldn't know it was them (we did). not only that, but their actions encouraged an actual torrent of racist hate mail to be sent to all of my non-white friends who publicly chose to support me. ultimately, they ended up admitting all of this, and still, they never once apologized or showed even a single iota of remorsefulness or responsibility for the onslaught of vitriol they incited. (even though, you know, this whole thing was supposedly about how racism is bad.)
and this user is still on the platform, operating under a new blog name and pseudonym. so. that's fun. 💀
i don't say this to beat a dead horse, or to drum up sympathy, because i promise i don't want it. it's been long enough, i understand the mistakes i made, and i've done my part to take accountability for my actions. but i needed to start this post here to have you all understand where i was at the end of april - just in time for yoongi's tour 🤪 - in many ways, i felt like i had no friends, at least none that i could really trust. i felt unsure who might have been acting one way to my face, perhaps even praising me, but talking different about me behind my back. and it was beyond fucking nervewracking to think that i would be meeting so many friends IRL for the first time, quite literally days after what essentially felt like a public execution.
i wasn't doing well, to say the least.
and then... the funniest thing happened.
y'all showed the fuck up for me. in droves. in a way that i have quite literally never experienced in my lifetime and doubt i ever will again. even recounting it now is lowkey giving me chills. i received, literally, yes i counted, hundreds of DMs from the most incredibly kind people- on tumblr, on twitter, on discord, in AO3 comments. the vast majority of you wrote paragraphs: about what my stories have meant to you, about how you found my blog to be a safe space in the noise of the world, about how much you'd enjoyed our time together here. so many of you said something along the lines of "even if you never come back here again, please keep writing". honestly, for like a week straight all i could do was read my DMs and cry and cry and cry.
i didn't receive a single hateful DM. not one.
as if that alone isn't more blessings than i deserve in an entire lifetime, i also, you know. saw five shows of agust d on tour. (my credit card is still recovering.) spent two of the best nights of my life in pit getting a water bottle baptism and screaming myself hoarse. and met dozens of incredible moots, who held me when i cried, scream-laughed with me, and of course, drank plenty of booze with me.
at a time where i wondered to myself if i even had a single true friend in this fandom (or, like, in the world), you all showed me that i had so much more. that we had so much more-- we had a community. and i believe we still do. and i am more than ready to block out all the shit that doesn't matter and get back to having some fun around here.
in short: thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. if you sent me a sweet word, i promise you, i read it (and probably cried lmao). i wouldn't be doing any of this without you. i will never ever deserve all the love that you have shown me. but for as long as you'll have me, i'd love to have a fun stupid horny time in this little corner of the internet. as a part of our community. what a fucking gift it is. 🫶
phew. okay, so- that was april and may. it's november. what the fuck happened?
i knew i wanted to properly take time to get my head on straight before i found my way back to writing. what i wasn't expecting was to 1. fall in love, 2. get a new job, and 3. move myself and my cat approximately 800 miles across the country... but yeah, since the end of may, those 3 things are exactly what i've been doing!
i won't talk too much about my partner here, because our relationship is important enough to me that i want to keep it largely private, but my god. he is the most incredible human. i can't tell you how much of what i wrote out as silly little daydreams in my fanfiction has somehow manifested itself into this very real human being (like, it's kinda crazy lmao 🙈). i'm grateful for him every single day. and what makes it even more special is that we met for the first time in person while i was traveling for yoongi's tour - yep! he saw me going through so much upheaval, and fell for me all the same. just another thing i will never fully believe i deserve. but goddamn do i feel luckyyyyy 🥰
and in addition to my amazing partner (and in part because of him but honestly i had plans to move before i had even met this man it just happened to work out okay 🙄) i have also finally managed to do what i've been planning for the last year and a half, which is move my ass out of the southern suburbs where i'd been for nearly a decade, and to a ✨walkable city that actually has public transit✨ - what a fucking dream. i may have only been here 8 days, and i may not have much more to my name than my cat, my TV, and my mattress, but i swear to god, i've never been this happy in my entire life.
so yeah. exhale. like i said, it's been quite the year.
now i do want to end this with a small caveat, which is to say, i can't make a promise as to how much i can *be* here (particularly not compared to how terminally online i used to be lmao). i spent a lot of time online because i was unhappy and feeling very stuck with where i was in life, and i needed escapism, bad. now, i've finally gotten to a place where i'm excited to go out of my house and do things, but i still want to make intentional time for tumblr as a form of connection and community, and writing as a form of creative expression. these things are really important to me!!! i just ask that you give me some grace if i'm a little slow on the uptake. i promise i'm still here 🥰
and writing is gonna happen!!! i can't say much more than that, because tbh i haven't so much as opened a google doc since april, but i've been itching to get back to it. maybe.... we might start off....... with some........... drabble requests??? 👀 we'll see we'll see we'll see hehe.
in any case, i think that's more than enough for now 🤪 oh how i've missed babbling to you all, the gay people in my phone. i hope you're well, and if ya feel so inclined, i'd love it if you'd send me a comment or a DM on what you've been up to in the many months it's been since we've spoke! what's new in your life? what are we manifesting??
talk so so soon, eeeeee~ i'm so happy to be back~ love you babes!!! 🤍
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The Noble House of Lockwood
Lord Alistair Lockwood, his wife Lady Evangeline Lockwood, and their children: Silas, Byron, and Theodore Lockwood.
Lord Alistair Lockwood
Current head of the Lockwood Estate.
Wood Elf.
Extremely wealthy.
Member of the ruling council of Arborcea.
Takes great (too much) pride in his house, name, and family.
Has a short temper and is quick to bring it out on those who displease him.
Loves his [legitimate] sons, although he's not good at showing it, at least not in healthy ways.
Had an affair with a human woman ~27 years ago that resulted in Rook's birth.
One of the key players in placing Arborcea under Elven rule.
Very well-respected among the other nobles.
Stubborn and prideful, even arrogant. (His eldest son, Silas, takes after him in this regard.)
Despite his prominent place on the council, he hungers for more. More power, more wealth, more influence.
Very traditionalist/old-fashioned.
A strict father, but well-respect and even idolized by his [legitimate] sons.
Lady Evangeline Lockwood
Lady of the Lockwood Estate.
Eldest daughter of another of Arborcea's noble houses.
High Elf.
Her and Alistair's marriage was an arranged one for politics and money, not love.
Strongly begrudges Alistair for the affair that led to Rook's existence, and has not forgiven him yet. (26 years is a blink of an eye for an elf.)
Despite this, will forever and always keep up appearances of a happy and faithful couple. (Even when they are alone, she hardly ever shows her displeasure with Alistair.)
Was thrilled when Rook ran away, because it meant that there was no longer a constant reminder of her husband's infidelity and shame wandering the halls of her house.
Vain, and always fishing for compliments from everyone around her.
Cleverer than she lets on.
Her sons are her greatest love and pride. They can do (almost) no wrong in her eyes. (However, damaging the image of house Lockwood does count as wrong.)
Has tea gatherings with the other noble ladies where they talk shit about anything and anyone.
Very strict mistress to the servants and anyone in her employ.
Also a strict mother, though much more loving.
Silas Lockwood
The oldest Lockwood brother.
The closest thing to a "rebellious" kid the [legitimate] Lockwood family has.
Stereotypical "popular kid": has a ton of friends and is always the center of attention despite being a dick to most people.
Is rarely at home, usually off "adventuring" (aka, paying other people to do the real work, then let him come in and deal the final blow and taking the credit.)
Excellent fencer, but initially trained for dueling competitions for entertainment, not lethality. His style is kind of exaggeratedly showy because of this.
When he's not adventuring or dueling, he's usually in a tavern, slightly drunk and surrounded by "20 of his closest friends". (or "friends"... most of them are using him or he's using them. He's aware of this and doesn't care.)
Has his father's short temper and intense pride. Can never walk away from a fight.
Hates nothing more than losing/being humiliated.
Byron Lockwood
Middle child, often overlooked in favor of his siblings.
Most boring/practical of the kids.
Doesn't really know what he wants in life.
Doomed to always be out-shined by Silas or Theo.
Totally not bitter about it.
Currently engaged to the daughter of another noble house.
Wants to inherit the title of Lord Lockwood, and is offended that someone as irresponsible as Silas would get it.
Perfectionist. Expects the best from everyone around him at all times.
The only Lockwood kid with a "real" job. (Manages some of his father's interests in a handful of shipping companies based in Arborcea.)
Think of the stereotypical shitty boss: Greedy, ambitious, treats his underlings like tools not people.
Theodore "Theo" Lockwood
The youngest Lockwood brother.
His parents' favorite.
Mama's boy, has Lady Lockwood wrapped around his finger and he knows it.
Spoiled youngest child. Is used to getting everything he wants whenever he wants it.
Will get very upset if his desires are not met.
Has spent the last few decades attending various kind of universities for degrees in all sorts of things. (the perks of being an elf and super rich, I guess.)
When asked about his plans "after schooling", he just does a kind of vague handwave and starts rambling about "research projects", but can't give any straight answers.
Will probably end up as some kind of weird professor/research funder: Ultra wealthy, multiple PHDs, "inventor" (but really just pays people to invent things for him), more than a little bit of a jerk. All his future students will come in so thrilled to meet this famous guy who's done so much impressive shit, but end up leaving disillusioned about their idol.
Not as smart as he seems. More than possibly has paid his way through at least a few of his classes/degrees.
As an academic will almost certainly plagiarize most or all of his work.
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hot take but like why are we as a society still using lead in manufacturing processes in 2024...
anyway tldr of this is that you are not being exposed to lead unless the circular piece on the bottom of the cup is damaged. so, owning a cup like this will likely not result in lead exposure. this is similar to the fact that in older housing where lead paint has been painted over in subsequent decades, and that paint is in good condition, then it is not a risk. lead based paint only becomes an issue when it is deteriorating (chipping, cracking, peeling, chalking, etc) or being turned into dust during renovation activites. so yeah, in a similar way--you aren't going to get lead poisoning unless the steel compontent on this water bottles comes off.
but also this article says that these lead pellets that are used in the cups are an "industry standard" and i'm like: why? WHY is it industry standard in 2024? at least with lead pipes and lead based paint, we're just dealing with issues from prior decades. but this is current so there is a conscious decision to still use lead in products. also, i don't know enough about this subject (bottle manufacturing) to know why they prefer to use lead for this step, or where in the world they manufacture the cups, but my other concern is that even though the general public will likely not be exposed if it's covered, there are still workers who have to handle it during production.
anyway, i just find that i am constantly learning about more places that lead gets found and it's just. sigh. i know lead has many appealing properties which is why it is constantly found everywhere in everything but at this point it's incredibly clear that no benefits outweigh its risks....
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