#with a light peppering of satire ^^)

[hirazuki]

I'll tend to the flame, you can worship the ashes. - The Longest Johns

I want everyone to know that this is entirely @ruiniel's fault for consistently throwing both lovely songs and lovely art/writing/thoughts on my dash ♡

[my5unday]

lps2012 tumblr, me and my friend @octonauter have cooked up a satirical vinnil fanfiction.. hope you enjoy 😭 (dont mind any spelling mistakes and stuff im too lazy to read through the whole thing and fix stuff). We were planning on writing a serious fanfic but veryy quickly turned into this demon

Beach Day or Bleak ay -

It was the hottest day of the summer. The pets lazily laid in front of the only fan in the pet shop

It was shop, all the pets lazing around in the hot summer heat. “This sucks” they say in unison  “yes” vinnie agreed, being the only one who didn't say in unison. Pepper then hit him in the head with rubber chicken, “ow!! What was that for” he said sadly “You were out of unison, moron” she replied. Vinnie scoffs, he rolls his eyes and walks away from the crowd. He decides to go to the fire hydrants which is his usual space where he spends time alone

Vinnie began writing in his diary “Dear Dairy, its me again. Pepper is such a conniving, insolent, beastly woman! I curse upon thee the sorrows of a thousand dead widows. He heard a scream from outside the fire hydrant, it was shrill and raspy, peppers voice to be exact. “What I do” he said, slowly peering out of the fire hydrant to get a look at what might've happened. She got stuck by lightning, the pets crowded around her in panic. There was available hole in the ceiling of where the lighting stuck from. She lay on the pet shop floor, rolling in agony burnt like an egg on the florida sidewalk. Vinnie gasped and went back to hiding. Blythe soon arrived on the scene and called the pet ambulance, pepper was soon taken away and Blythe announced their next plan.

“Pets, I know that was REALLY crazy, but we deserve to get our minds off of pepper for a bit. What about a beach trip!” all the pets cheered while the hip upbeat guitar transition music played in the background, except for Vinnie who was still processing what he had just done. He started to hyperventilate but sunil though he was challenging him to a fast breathing contest so he started rapidly huffing and puffing harder than the big bad wolf ever could [vinnie being the big bad wolf] Sunil glared angrily at Vinnie as they continued this one sided competition. Vinnie said “ENOUGH!” and stormed off, Sunil looked at him confused and then it shrugged off as vinnie just being a bad sport. 

***

“Somethings going on with vinnie…” Russel said a suspicious tone in his voice, minkas jaw DROPPED 

“WHAT???” shock etching every corner of her monkey face

“Yeah.. you heard me. Don't you think its WEIRD how as soon as vinnie left to the fire hydrant, pepper got smited” he suspicious 

Minka started jumping up and down and screaming at Minka and looked at Russell as if he just killed her family of 1 [her]. 

The pet bus arrived at the beach, blythe in her blythe styleish swimsuit that we aren’t getting paid enough to describe. Sunil was wearing the most fabulous swim shorts designed by Blythe truly. They were solid black with mangos with a seamless red to yellow to green ombre. The leaves of the mangos were embellished with opulent rhinestones of a diverse plethora of chroma. The material Blythe used was exceptional, and provided for utmost comfort as Sunil wore them. The drawstrings of the swim shorts were made of a glow in the dark material [incase Sunil happened to find himself at the bottom of the ocean.] Finally the back of the swimshorts said “Juicy”, in an attempt to imitate the luxury brand Juicy Couture. It was truly a divine masterpiece work of art. Opulent.

Vinnie started burying himself in the sand to ignore the rest of the pets and hide from his guilt, he might as well live there for the rest of his life. He pulled out his sopping wet diary that he forgot was in his pocket before it was too late, it was completely damaged and unsalvageable. “I should've gotten rid of this stupid thing years ago anyways!” he yelled, throwing it out into the distance. Meanwhile Sunil stood on the beach near the water gazing down at it but not stepping in, he suddenly felt a weightful force crash into his noggin and send him flying across the ocean with an intense and unpredictable speed. He screamed in terror flailing around. Minka started recording.  He landed on something smooth, relived he sighed, until he looked down and saw he was laying on a shark. He screamed once again and started to swim away as fast as he could. “BLYTHE!!!!!! I NEED YOU TO SAVE ME R IM GOING TO BE EATEN BY THIS aaauGGHHAAAAAA” he yelled being cut off by the shark chasing after him.

Penny Ling looked around, “Say.. where is Blythe..” Blythe wasnt responsive , she was playing dress to impress on roblox and was too locked in on her outfit to pay attention to anything else. Despite the fact that Youngmee, Sue, Jasper, Mrs Twombly, her father, all the pets owners and cousins and all the horses and all the king's men were calling her on her phone she still persisted on playing her game [the theme was Beach day].

Vinnie felt at fault for all of this, including Blythes crippling, deprecating, disgusting addiction/fixation on dress to impress [he introduced it to her]. If he hadn’t smited Pepper with his diary, Sunil wouldn't be drowning while being chased by sharks. He mustered [mustard] up all the mustard in his body [courage] and ran into the ocean at full force

“I'LL SAVE YOU SUNIL!” Vinnie yelled. Youngmee, Sue, Jasper, Mrs Twombly, her father, all the pets owners and cousins and all the horses and all the king's men all stared in unison at Vinnie’s amazing feet as he blazed across the water like a trail of fire to save sunil.  At that point, Vinnie could only see Sunil’s paw sticking out of the water, which was also hard to see given the ocean water was the same color as his fur. Sunil sank. Vinnie divedin after him, racing down the water to catch up to his sinking body, he was unable to spot him until eye spying with his little eye, glowing in the water! The emergency glow in the dark shorts! from his drawstrings! Despite her disgusting addiction to dress to impress, Blythe was a genius! Then vinnie swept him out of the water graciously and swiftly, water exploding all around them where they emerged. Their spinning wet bodys reflecting in the sun. All the kings men or whatever stared in awe.

“I got first place with my outfit!” Blythe squealed in excitement, not paying attention to a sliver of what just unfolded. Vinnie laid Sunil on the soft, yet scorching hot sand [cause it's the hottest day of the summer] like it was his fourth of July party. Sunil was still unconscious. Blythe was still too focused to help, he thought… This only meant one thing. Youngmee, Sue, Jasper, Mrs Twombly, her father, all the pets owners and cousins and all the horses and all the king's men gathered around vinnie and sunil as they watched the INSANE scene about to fold in front of them. Vinnie pressed his lips to Sunil like it was his October third party in 2002 at 1:06AM [Eastern standard time] “It’s just cpr… it’s just cpr…” he thought to himself, but with every puff of air his mind wandered away from just saving his best friend. Sunil awoken and gasped, he looked around in fear and confusion, shaking and sputtering out incoherent words. He had had a thumb sized cut on his cheek [he has a FAT thumb]. “Shh… It’s okay Sunil… I’m here…” he said in a hush. Sunil screamed and ran away, his footprints in the sand like Cinderella's slippers. And NO ONE could find him… He must be embarrassed by the cpr, Vinnie thought, and chased after him like Prince Churning. 

The trail ended behind a rock, where Sunil was crouched behind a rock, weeping ever so softly. Vinnie slowly walked up to Sunil, trying not to startle the mongoose. “Hey, Sunil… I know I just gave you cpr and stuff but… you don’t have to be all sad about it, y’know.” He put his hand on his shoulder. Sunil looked back at him with the most softest eyes, amber glowing golden in the hot sun [it being the hottest day of the year afterall] his soft eyes then turned sour [stream olivia rodrigo], he was angry at vinny for embarrassing him in front of all of the kings horses and all the king's men. “This is all YOUR fault! If you hadn't thrown that STUPID diary, don't think i didn't see what it said before i fell into the water. “I curse upon thee the sorrow of a thousand dead widows ?!” YOUR the one who smitted pepper. And we don't even know if she's going to survive!” his voice cracked with emotion, tears swelling up in his humongous amber eyes, the salt of the tears stinging the thumb-sized scar on his face. . Vinnies breathing began to quicken uncontrollably, he became lightheaded and the world spun around him. His heart pounded in his chest as he hyperventilated. This WAS all his fault… “And ENOUGH of that breathing competition, you are so.. so.. IMMATURE!” he rolled his eyes

Vinnies heart was in a million pieces. He truly believed Sunil felt what he felt when he was giving him cpr, it turned out to be all a delusion. 

TO BE CONTINUED…..?

[i hope not]

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

(vibrates) it's slug time

loving the slang... "tightness all day long" "today is toasty". also love that "babes" survives way into the future. 15 this is ur legacy. "that woman was her sister" incest implication??? 2 minutes in

TURN LEFT /triggered

the design in this is impeccable.

this is so sims coded.... from the creators of "doctor who is a tv show" theory we bring u-> "doctor who is a videogame"

if u were disappointed with the focus on magic this ep this ep is rlly giving classic scifi parody lol

CRAZY DAYS

there's a lot of wordsmith-ing in this ep….eyes emoji

i love ruby sm now she's so resourful in every ep

this episode is like "this is how an anniversary multi-doctor multi-companion multi-master webcam special could still win"

ok but seriously. ppl are gonna be like "phones bad is dumb of course people look where they are!!!" bro. they dont. and yeah it can have deadly consequences. there's a reason "dont text and drive" campaigns happen.

ruby has done SO many callcenter type jobs forreal.

SLUG TIME SLUG TIME SLUG TIME.

DR PEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

this episode is amazing

"is that thing something to do with you?" bitch (i got a bit spoiled that she's a racist (damn "looking at tumblr for 2 secs to vibe check" habit) so im looking at this with more hindsight than u are supposed to sdlkfjd)

bluie light celeste and gold motif in ruby and the doc's backdrops? also fifteen in orange <3333333 my beloved

the interior design is ON POINT this ep "you dont know how to walk without the arrows?" "condescending much?" bitch

this episode is so fun lol

"fifteen nd ruby react channel" realness (WHICH…..HEY…….DO U KNOW WHAT PPL REACT TO………………………. T V SH O W S (clown make up fully on))

ruby has done so much service calling jobs forreal lol the sheer patience

the doctor really wanting to lose their minds here but having to hold it together is peak doctor sdkjfsd (also very realistic of the struggles i expected a black doctor to work thru)

there's a bit of a theme of instinct vs programming going on here.

"surrounded by this woodland forest thing. it's like, really natural"

hashtag obsessed with it the catharsis im feelin tbh. 2 ppl being like "yo mass killing is rlly wrong" while the cacophony of the internet ~fun goes on and on. where's the [fiction]

ITS LIKE LOVE ISLAND THE PLANET. BRO. bro im so WIRED IN /clown make up intensifies

penny pepper bean still strong holding the 12 ppl still in the tory party together in the year something something

"ruby and the doctor struggle to lie in the moment" is my favorite recurring trope

the doctor using the sonic as a remote right there……………….. im running out of clown make up ya'll

"you did NOT just "@everyone" realism

no one ever listens to the goths….

until its too late…

its interesting that there's no cameras in their feeds, tho. right? like. that's the layer i think it's profoundly different to irl in this satire / social crit. ppl are *locked out* of the real world bc they're looking at their screens, but they do that bc the screens are a constant waterfall of billions of camera footage either of individuals or coporations or institutions. always producing "content". so like is not that ppl dont "see" anythign irl but they see it all thru a filter or thru editing,,,, but its fine i get what the satire is going for slkdfj but yeah. i think thats why it may feel a bit "not quite capturing" of the current ~digital ethos

fifteen so close to losing it- fifteen if u want to go for a bit of a timelord victorious i wont judge. u can have it. as a treat.

doctor who is a videogame energy bbc merch idea -> zombies run type podcast but it's the doctor and ruby telling u where to go for a job so u dont die. (russel get on this)

YOU STILL HAVE BATTERY PROBLEMS

"this is your fault!" iconic. classic who

so many ppl have presumably died so far. god bless. we needed an ep like this. proper high body count who feels good. feels organic.

rip the au where these were the beatles. thats 1 theory im really gonna mourn for the rest of the series lol

plaza 55…… orphan 55 reference???

great abrogation sounds important.

"i will get out out of here. i promise" obligatory doctor mirroring moment.

oh shit.

"thi iss SO manual"

"hands off" I LOVE THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The doctor x companion x some bland guy love triangle DREAM omg

"he says they're saving us to eat for last (snob voice)maybe we're the most tasty" scream. this ep is so fun.

pentecost's style was so on point.

wasnt her battery running out? (i may have missed something sldkjf)

bro stop hitting the fucking gas pipes oh my goddddd

holy shit. RICKY NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that was brutal.

racists are gonna hate this episode so much lol

fifteen getting to experience all the microaggressions/outright aggressions thirteen didnt. yay progress(???) "thats voodoo" holy shi t

"maintain the standards of finetime" rtd was pissed when writting this lol

fifteen is not doing all rightkids.

ncuti's "who's my doctor? he's a black man" prophecy comes FULL CIRCLE

fifteen looking at US tho…………… this is a tv show man. this is a tv show. this is - *im struggle against my straight-jacked as im graddged back to the cushion-walled cell*

the plot twist of this ep………… phones good actually. thank u phones. u are doing a service.

CONCLUSIONS!

so there's a lot of ways to chop this one…

"racism and capitalism still exists in the future" is a trope that it's kind of limiting / always grates me in some ways (it feeds into the anti-racism of ppl whose politics doesnt trascend idealist philosophy -> that is, it is an anti-racism that can't conceive of an end to racism bc it doesn't actually have a political project that address the material causes of racism and just tries to fix the "natural prejudices" away with "education". in other words, it cant portray a word without racism bc it cant *conveive* of one.) . however i think im more open to it this time / this series since s11 onwards the focus has been so much on telling stories about the present with scifi make up on. and i think this one manages to do that rlly well. ___

another vertice to look this one on is whether... is it really "doing anything" to have racism portrayed on screen (and other bigotry) in a scifi story? if u already experience racism or understand it happens, who is served by this? it's hurtful to watch and it's like missing the chance to "show a different world" is possible thru scifi. and the counterargument to that is on a """""color blind"""""" 2020s world it is rlly cathartic and re-affirming to have stories that *show* the realities of the world, and that dont shy away from showing those realities in fear of them coming off as "over the top" (bc they arent. some ppl will still walk away from this ep thinking "haha fun satires" but like. this is literally how White Rich People Talk. in real life.......) and again in this one time i think it works really well bc doctor who has… probably never done this? lol there's moments with martha and ryan for example, but never going this hard on it. but im open to discussion tbh. i think the angle of "is this a story about racism for white people to learn or is it a cathartic for *black / brown people to experience catharsis in" is gonna be one for fruitful discussion in the future. ___

besides the socio-political points,,,, bro this episode was a thrill ngl sdlkjf like so many simple, excellent moments like the girl walking into the light post. the made up slang and the real slang!!!!. the excellent interior design. "ruby and fifteen react to doctor who". just lots of fun little details. the execution was really inspired.

character point -> tbh fifteen at the end feels like a bit of Growth from like, ten at his worst moments -> "he's not the person you would have chosen to survive, but if you could decide who lives or dies, doctor, that would make you a monster"

also kinda wonder how this episde will hit for newbies / Not Us. i think a lot of its gut punch comes from dw never doing this before and so the strenght of subverting those expectations. is this an story that stands on its own w/o all the 60 years of context? we'll have to show it to our normie friends and see lol

[mcgiggers]

New York - September 2023

Just back from a long-anticipated return to Armory week festivities in the Big Apple. Fueled by the pent-up excitement following a self-imposed two-year hiatus and not deterred by the sweltering heat and overcrowded New York streets, the art viewing experience was over the top - fantastic fairs, surreal MoMA moments and great gallery shows. Stopovers included: The Armory Show, Independent 20th Century and Art on Paper fairs; a pilgrimage to the MoMA; and a half dozen or so gallery visits.

The Fairs

The Armory Show held court as the centerpiece of the two-day jaunt. While the fair has long been part of the city’s cultural landscape, bringing together the world’s leading contemporary and modern galleries in the revamped Javits Center elevated the fair-going experience for all stakeholders. Art fans, exhibitors and artists have all benefited from the move two years ago from Piers 92 and 94. While the art is ultimately what matters most, venue counts as well, and creating an atmosphere where art fans can best appreciate wonderful pieces and exhibitors can best showcase their artists is important. With its outstanding gallery lineup, topnotch presentation space and user-friendly layout, The Armory Show delivered on all fronts.

This year the fair assembled over 225 leading international galleries representing more than 35 countries and over 800 artists. Along with the revitalization brought about by the venue upgrade, the show’s focus has also evolved to having a more contemporary and emerging artist bias where previously older post war painters also shared the spotlight. With that change, the crowds also seemed to get younger, less staid, and more eclectic, all making for a vibrant and exciting ambiance.  Some highlights included: Landon Metz’s organic flowing shapes in “Untitled”, 2023, dye and canvas, diptych (40 x 64 in.); Mario Martinez’s abstract expressionist inspired “Inside, Outside”, 2004, acrylic and charcoal on canvas (86 x 133.5 in.); and Nicole Coson’s imprinted found objects in “Untitled”, 2023, oil on linen (79 x 51 in.).

The vibe at the Independent 20th Century fair was more reflective and subdued but also enjoyable in a different sort of way. Set in the historic Battery Maritime Building, the focus of this 35-exhibitor show was to celebrate unsung artists that applied their trade between 1900 and 2000. Donning the walls were works of lesser known heroes such as Jack Tworkov, James Brooks and Midred Thompson, among others. The fair highlights included three large scale works from Paul Feeley featuring his archetypal jack-like forms set in a colour field backdrop, namely, “Vespasian” and “Germanicus”, 1960, and “Untitled”, 1961, each oil-based enamel on canvas.

Art on Paper was staged on the courts of Basketball City on Pier 36 and celebrated its ninth edition with a 100-plus gallery roster featuring top modern and contemporary paper-based art. The atmosphere was light and lively and lent itself well to the creatively used to highlight the fair’s signature medium. Highlights included: Eric Stefanski’s earnest and satirical “Im Fuckin Trying”, 2023, oil and graphite on paper affixed to panel in artist’s frame (44 x 34 in.); Gigi Mills’ “Night Sail and Shephard”, 2023, oil, paper and crayon on paper (43.5 x 38 in.); and Alyssa Salomon’s “Time & Place for Considering Optimism & Sunlight”, 2020, cyanotype on Abaca/Kozo paper (38 x 25 in.).  A showstopper also included a collection of six exquisite Michael Loew cubist nudes, 1951, india ink on paper on board (each 9 x 6 in.).

The Museum

The MoMA experience kicked off with early morning access tothe Ed Ruscha / Now Then exhibit. The show surveyed six decades of output and featured over 200 works in mediums including painting, drawing and photography. Peppered throughout were many of his easily recognizable images mined from Los Angeles iconography such as the Hollywood sign, Standard Oil stations and the Twentieth Century Fox logo. Equally impactful were the word paintings reflective of guttural utterances he came across in his day-to-day activities. Special pieces among these included: “Honk”, 1961-62, oil on canvas and “Oof”, 1962, oil on canvas.

The Ruscha exhibit then flowed into a pilgrimage to several extraordinary works in the MoMA permanent collection. These included: Andy Warhol’s “Campbell’s Soup Cans”, 1962, acrylic with metallic enamel paint on canvas, 32 panels; Jasper Johns’ “Flag”, 1954-55, encaustic, oil and collage on fabric mounted on plywood, three panels; Jackson Pollock’s “One: Number 31, 1950”, 1950, oil and enamel paint on canvas;  Henri Matisse’s “The Red Studio”, 1911, oil on canvas; Pablo Picasso’s  “Les Demoiselles d’Avignon”, 1907, oil on canvas; and, Vincent van Gogh’s “The Starry Night”, 1889, oil on canvas. While these works are all very familiar and are plastered on everything from mugs to T-shirts, a firsthand visual of their mastery is a magical reboot and a reminder of their greatness.

The Galleries

Memorable gallery exhibits visited outside the fair circuit included: John Zurier “On the Back of a Mirror”; Caroline Monnet “Worksite” and Ellsworth Kelly “Ellsworth Kelly at Gemini: An Exploration of Color”. Standouts among these included: John Zurier’s dreamy “Langspil(Echo)”, 2023, oil on linen (25.6 x 19.6 in.); Caroline Monnet’s biological experiment “Depredation”, 2023,  mold on gypsum board, 15 parts (each 13 x 13 in.) and powerful “In Silence We Speak Volumes”, 2023, oriented strand board, acrylic (47 x 47 in.); and Ellsworth Kelly’s stunning “Red Curve (State ll)”, 1988, 1-color lithograph, edition of 15, #3 (26 x 84 in.).

While art fans were scurrying about to the various venues sharing the New York City stage with sportsfans who were in town to witness Coco Gauff’s crowning achievement, on the other side of the world in the Philippines, hoopsters were being treated to a different brand of basketball at the FIBA World Cup, the toughest albeit not glitziest of international hoops tournaments. When all was said and done, the gold medal went to Germany who outlasted Serbia in the finals while Canada upset the USA in an overtime thriller for the bronze. That was a historic finish for Canada on the FIBA world stage and a major disappointment for the USA who fielded an all-NBA team - true, maybe not the best of the lot and three players were out with an undisclosed illness (bad pancit, maybe), but still, a great victory for Canada thanks to standout performances from Shai Gilgeous-Alexander who was named to the All-Tournament team and bronze medal game MVP NBA villain par excellence Dillon Brooks. Another huge positive stemming from the tournament was the show put on by Dennis Schröder who led the German team to the top podium finish. The speedy and crafty guard was named FIBA World Cup MVP and will be bringing his talents to Toronto. Let’s hope Flash can carry over his success to the Dinos as he steps into the prime ball handler role vacated by Steady Freddie’s departure. Something to look forward to.

For more information on any of the artists or works mentioned, the MoMA, the gallery exhibits and Schröder’s transition to the Dinos, “Just Google It”.

There you have it sportsfans,

MC Giggers

(www.mcgiggers.tumblr.com) Reporter’s Certification

I, MC Giggers, hereby certify that the views expressed in this report accurately reflect my personal views and that no part of my compensation was or will be, directly or indirectly, related to the specific views expressed herein.

I also certify that I may or may not own, directly or indirectly, works of artists mentioned in this report and that I may or may not have a strong bias for such artists and, more generally, for “Pictures of Nothing”.

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Adephagia (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- The BBF (Big Bold Fabulous) by Ganymede

Age- 23 (immortal)

Location- Chant du Cygne neighborhood, New Olympus

Personality- She's loud, bold, & fabulous! She doesn't care about who thinks otherwise. She takes pleasure in the overabundance and overconsumption of life's offerings. She's dating casually.

She has the standard abilities of a goddess- except for shapeshifting. As the goddess of gluttony, her powers/abilities include having an enhanced bite (can bite through extra durable materials- like metal), gluttony inducement (can induce hunger and extremes of gluttony like the overconsumption of food, drink, & other vices), and having an infinite digestive system (the most enhanced one out of all the deities in the pantheon).

Adephagia lives in a mansion in the Chant du Cygne neighborhood of New Olympus. Inside the color scheme is hot pink, fuchsia, silver, gold, red, and purple. Most of the flooring is wall to wall baby blue mink carpeting. There's also an indoor hot tub & jacuzzi. Instead of a chandelier, there's neon light fixtures. She has three st bernard dogs as pets. They're all girls & their names are Bubbles, Dimples, and Munchkin!

She has a "goodie" closet, seperate from her regular closet. It contains a lot of her favorite snacks like bon bons, salted caramel & dark chocolate covered pretzels, various gourmet popcorn, candy bars, gummy bears, fruit punch flavored licorice twists, & red velvet-white chocolate chip cookies. Adephagia frequents Hollyhock's Bakery, Cocoa Delights, and Confetti Candy Co.

Her go-to drinks include wine (red and white), vodka, champagne, margaritas, cosmopolitans, tequila, and her personal favorite- an olympian sized hot buttered rum milkshake (with extra whipped cream & caramel sauce).

In the pantheon Adephagia is friends with Ganymede (god of homosexual love & desire), Mania (goddess of insanity), Aphrodite (goddess of love & beauty), Pannychis (goddess of nightlife festivities), Komos (god of revelry), Gelos (god of laughter), Apate (goddess of fraud & deception), Momus (god of mockery, satire, & ridicule), Pheme (goddess of fame), and Dionysus (god of wine). She's also cool with some of the "thick madames" of the pantheon like Iris (goddess of the rainbow), Hestia (goddess of the hearth), Clio (muse of history), Méli (goddess of bees & honey), Pandaisia (goddess of banquets), Methe (goddess of drunkenness), Thalia (grace of festivities), Terpischore (muse of dance), and Aglaia (grace of beauty & splendor).

Her official mentor was Charis (goddess of charm).

Adephagia also admires Orthosia (goddess of wealth).

She has an extensive collection of Diamond Ave. clutches- especially the food themed ones! Her latest addition is the jeweled hot dog clutch- costing 4,500 drachmas!

Adephagia is one of the few minor deities to have a temple.

Her favorite thing to eat in the morning is the Olympian breakfast platter. It includes several pieces of buttered garlic toast, a bowl of rizogalo (rice pudding), scrambled eggs (added with peppers, black olives, & onions), hash browns, biscuits (spread with apricot preserves & grape jelly), maple sugar bacon, and spicy sausage links drowned in tzatziki sauce & sausage gravy. On a laid back morning, she'll eat a large bowl of Golden Kreme Crunch cereal.

Adephagia is successful in her own right! Aside from hosting the annual gyro eating contest (which takes place during the Summer Solstice holiday), she also has a fashion & lifestyle magazine called BBF (Big, Bold, Fabulous)! She also has a fashion brand specifically catered to plus size women called FATshionista (which includes clothes, shoes, & accessories) and a modeling agency (which specifically scouts for plus size models)! Currently, she's also planning on opening up a wellness center for people suffering from bulimia.

Adephagia also has a few buffet style restaurants called Poté Tróei. There's at least four locations in a few New Olympus neighborhoods, a location in the Underworld- as well as a new one planning to open in the state of Florina. One of the specialties include a 54 inch pizza called "The Titan Sicilian." This particular order requires a 24 hour notice. It costs 300 drachmas with each different topping costing 20 drachmas each! Another specialty is the Mt. Olympus burger- a mountain of tomatoes, onions, lettuce, cheese slices, enormous thick hamburger patties, tzatziki sauce, & hickory smoked barbeque sauce totaling to 28 inches in diameter, 11 1/2 inches in height, and weighing 105 lbs! This culinary beast costs 450 drachmas and if 10 people together can finish it in under an hour, they'll receive a 5,000 drachma prize!

For other work she also models for Hot Intoxication, Maison du Drame, Graces Glam, Swimsilk, Heavenly Spark, La Petit Amour, and No.3 & Co. She also writes for the magazines Glamgerous, The Rainbow Room, & Kythereia.

Adephagia loves deep frying cloud cakes, dusting them off with powdered sugar!

She was declared the best dressed at the Olympian Gala- when they did a campy theme. Adephagia arrived wearing a custom Maison du Drame outfit- a shimmery light pink silk organza shirt with oversized bow shaped sleeves with a 5 foot long train, matching pants, thigh high white platform boots- complete with a cake sliced shaped Diamond Ave. clutch. Her hair was in a stylized bouffant (with many rhinestones & dessert themed hair clips). Her accessories included jeweled bubblegum shaped earrings and super long neon pink feather eyelash extensions.

As for her love life, Adephagia is going with the flow and not putting any pressure on herself. She "dipped her toes in the lady pond" for a minute when she made out with Pannychis one time. She also kinda hooked up with Hermes (he went down on her) & Adephagia has made out with Zelus (god of envy, jealousy, & zeal) a few times. She's seeing a giant named Androcles whom she met on a dating app. He's so her type- tall, dark chocolate, & handsome!

She also has crushes on Priapus (god of fertility, vegetable gardens, livestock, sexuality, & masculinity), Záchari (god of confectionery), Aplistos (god of avarice), and Pseudologos (god of lies).

Her all time favorite dessert are the chocolate glazed donuts from Hollyhock's Bakery- with her usually getting two boxes. At home, she dips them into a vanilla milkshake. She'll usually leave some for her dogs!

She's always getting shopping catalogs & coupons in the mail.

Some of her favorite meals include steak (cooked well done), spaghetti & meatballs, lasagna, moussaka, sicilian pizza (topped with chicken, red peppers, sausage, and pepperoni), fasolada, & the ultimate family meal from Olympic Chef (that comes with mashed potatoes with gravy, a 12 piece bucket of extra crispy fried chicken, six biscuits, two mini honey cakes, & two olympian sized fries).

In her free time, Adephagia loves eating, shopping, going to the beach, karaoke, going to new restaurants, listening to music, clubbing, going to the spa, yoga, spin class, cooking, and baking.

"Too much of a good thing? Potato, Puhtahto!"

[beetleandfox]

Predictions for Good Omens Season 2

Okay, here’s what we know. Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett came up with a rough outline of the plot in 1989, and a few elements from the outline were recycled into the TV show (specifically the other angels). 

In reference to the plot of the second season, Neil Gaiman said: “As Good Omens continues, we will be back in Soho, and all through time and space, solving a mystery which starts with one of the angels wandering through a Soho street market with no memory of who they might be, on their way to Aziraphale's bookshop. (Although our story actually begins about five minutes before anyone had got around to saying “Let there be Light”.) He also said: “Game on! There are mysteries, histories, secrets revealed and Something Too Terrible To Be Revealed on the way. Also a cardboard box.” Amazon said: “Aziraphale and Crowley are getting back to easy living amongst mortals in London’s Soho when an unexpected messenger presents a surprising mystery.”

So! Time for some theories.

I think Gabriel is going to be the angel, for a couple of reasons. For starters, the angel Gabriel from the Bible is often associated with messages-- he was actually the one to inform Mary she was going to have Jesus-- and the character is described as a messenger angel in the hints. It’s also worth remembering that Good Omens is, first and foremost, a comedy, and there’s way more comedic value in a memory-wiped character that the audience recognizes than one that the audience doesn’t. Also, Neil Gaiman has apparently been planning this sequel since before the book was adapted, and it makes sense that he might introduce characters that are important to the sequel in the first season, even if they weren’t in the books. 

I wonder if the Them (Adam, Pepper, Wensleydale and Brian) will be in the sequel. I can’t imagine Adam would be excluded entirely, considering he’s such an important character in terms of the sheer power he holds, but having a powerful character is a fine line to tread. It’s worth noting that Adam is too overpowered right now and would be able to solve any conflict in the blink of an eye, so his presence or abilities must be eliminated somehow to advance the plot and raise the stakes. Also, the actors that played the Them in the show might be too old to play preteens now, even if the time jump between seasons correlates with our time. So I’d say they’re going to have to come up with reasons to exclude these characters, which is honestly a shame. The Them are hilarious in the books, even if their humor didn’t really translate to the screen. Conversely, I think Anathema, Newt, and Shadwell might continue to have roles, since none of them have any real reason to be excluded. Although their character arcs have pretty much wrapped up, there’s still some potential to be squeezed from Anathema’s decision to lead a life ungoverned by predestination. 

There’s also that line towards the end of the book/show, where Crowley talks about the “big one”, saying that for his money it will be “all of us against all of them.” This could handily set up stakes for an even bigger conflict in the next season, and would force Crowley and Aziraphale to choose once and for all between the divine forces or the humans. Or they could end up playing the mediator, sort of like Adam did in the first season. This is fully tacks and strings territory, though. 

Based on the plot summaries we’ve been given, we can safely assume there will be time skips (probably following Aziraphale and Crowley, but quite possibly other deities) through history. Since they’re apparently starting right when God created the world, maybe we’ll see Crowley before he sauntered vaguely downward. We might even get some clarification as to why the 14th century was the worst! But overall, I’d say that these flashbacks are going to be more important to the show’s mystery plot than to fleshing out Crowley and Aziraphale’s wholesome relationship, like the ones in the last season. 

What’s the mystery? Why has the angel’s memory been wiped, and how? What’s the cardboard box? Your guess is as good as mine. If I know Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, though, the main plot line is going to have lots of intellectual messages in the subtext and will probably turn into a full-blown religious satire. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[bisluthq]

SS Tily does not lay claim to Lover; a thesis

I thought this would take me longer but y’all, I’m done with Part 2 of my Gaylor analyses. Unfortunately this chapter brings bad news for Tily nation. I honestly don’t think many of the songs on Lover are about that relationship. But I also think it’s not as simple as the mainstream Kaylor narrative would have us believe. Let’s dive into this, shall we? 

First things first. I think it’s worth noting that many of the songs on this album are not about romantic relationships at all. Like it’s a bit of a marketing ploy to portray it as an album primarily about romantic love when so many songs explicitly aren’t about that feeling. In fact, there are more themes on Lover than on any of her earlier stuff - it’s something she expands on in folklore. 

I Forgot That You Existed, The Man, The Archer (which I firmly believe is about her debating coming out), Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince (very obviously about the political situation generally and supported by the doccie title), London Boy, Soon You’ll Get Better, YNTCD, and ME! are all about explicitly different themes. Obviously there are a couple references within those (like ME! has that line about “I never leave well enough alone” which reappears on the 1, and The Archer mentions someone “staying” but I still think ME! is about self-love not romantic love and The Archer is about personal anxiety around identity). Fundamentally, they are not love songs.

I don’t think that’s really up for debate. The only one I can see anyone - say Toes or like hardcore Tily fans - debating is London Boy. Unfortunately for my Tily babes, I do think it’s satire that serves as a homage to Joe and the other British beards, and possibly riffs a teeny bit on her time with Lily. Contrary to some gold medalists in Kaylor mental gymnastics, I fully believe Tay does make reference to Joe in her lyrics (I’ve mentioned the fictional verse for Dress and the reference to “keeping him” in Ready for It). This really doesn’t have any of the hallmarks of Tily songs off of Rep. The British references in CIWYW, KOMH and Delicate are subtle and chilled and actually quite cute. London Boy is an onslaught of non-sequiturs about London, the UK and her beards. Also “stories from uni” fits both Joe and Tom H, but it doesn’t fit Lily who never went to university. All her Lily songs are about hiding out in private; London Boy is all about galavanting around town with “his” friends (Lily and Tay had the same friends though?) It’s simply not about the same person or the same relationship. 

I do think there’s a chance it could be poking fun (lightly) at Lily/that period she spent in London because as I’ve already said I think Tay is not above shading ex-girlfriends and it seems like the kind of thing Karlie would’ve also found a bit funny. I think when she got back together with Karlie - which almost definitely happened - she would’ve 100% laughed about the “say you fancy me not fancy stuff” era. That would explain the recurrence of both Motown and queen imagery, which first appeared on KOMH. But where KOMH felt very genuine and authentic, this one is obviously meant to be funny. 

Right. So. Now that we’ve established 8 songs are about other themes, let’s get the Kaylor songs sorted: Cruel Summer, Cornelia Street, DBATC, False God and Daylight are all undeniably about Karlie fucking Kloss. They all feature the images and tropes and hallmarks that pepper Karlie songs. They all have the same kinds of emotions. And they paint a pretty sad, troubling and complex picture. 

Cruel Summer comes first and seems to mostly be about their first breakup, which she first referred to on DWOHT. We have Tay once again begging Karlie to stay and work it out and not being certain for sure about her feelings.  

We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times

We're not trying (Oh yeah, you're right, I want it)

I mean that’s super sad. Tay’s saying they discussed how they’ll fuck it all up, and she’s feeling like they’re not even trying to fix things. You also have that “I want it” which is interesting considering the “we” that preceded it. “We’re” not trying because only “I want it”. Ouch. 

Killing me slow, out the window

I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

What doesn't kill me makes me want you more

And it's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

And it's ooh, whoa oh

It's a cruel summer

It's cool, that's what I tell 'em

No rules in breakable heaven

But ooh, whoa oh

It's a cruel summer

With you

Here we have “I’m always waiting for you” which yet again suggests Tay is the one who’s more invested. Then we have the shape of “your” body (which is a familiar concept from Dress), but the feeling it gives her here is blue here not gold - maybe that’s why the shape is new? In the past Karlie’s body made her feel golden but now it’s a bluer, sadder feeling. Blue starts recurring more frequently on these late era Kaylor songs. There’s a possible alternate reading, which is blue = Swiftgron (“my love had been frozen deep blue”). It’s a nice theory but it just doesn’t gel with the garden gate below. Also, while both relationships seem to have been colored by commitment issues, the premise of unrequitedness doesn’t really feature on the songs about Di. She asks Di to stay, tells her she’s thinking of her, and they’re “too in love to think straight” but Tay never says Karlie loves her back. Ever. It’s never expressly mutual. 

I'm drunk in the back of the car

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (Oh)

Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh)

And I scream, "For whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

He looks up, grinning like a devil

Look at that fourth line. It perfectly fits with the Kaylor narrative on Rep and it doesn’t fit the Tily songs at all. She wanted to keep that second relationship private and secret and hidden. And here she’s saying “I don’t want to keep secrets” - this is take two of “I don’t want you like a best friend”. Also the “for whatever it’s worth” reminds me of “here’s the truth” from End Game. It’s the kind of thing you’d say in the midst of a fight. 

Then we have her screaming “I love you” and receiving no reply as usual beyond a devilish grin. The more I do these analyses the less I understand how or why Kaylor gets romanticized in the way it does, while Swiftgron gets bashed for toxicity. Like my girl Tay has a thing for chaotic lesbians with commitment issues and Kaylor seems like it was WILD. 

Back to the lyrics, this time let’s look at Kaylor anthem Cornelia Street:

We were in the backseat

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"

I say casually in the car

We were a fresh page on the desk

Filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead

Leading us home

I find this whole song really interesting because it features one of Tay’s favorite ideas - glamorizing normal people things. It’s like the time with the “motel bar” in Getaway Car. Like she 100% was thrilled to be able to say “I’m renting this apartment” - never mind that it’s basically a whole ass house. I actually think the above verse is really beautiful. I know I give Kaylor a lot of shit but obviously there were beautiful moments and Tay had/has plenty of good memories. 

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I mean frankly this verse above is super insecure in the standard Kaylor way. Tay’s saying she’s terrified of Karlie walking away and that she “hopes” she never loses her. The tone is sad, forlorn and a little desperate. I also think it’s interesting that she says she’d never walk Cornelia Street again, and that the city screams Karlie’s name and then on hoax she goes ahead and says she left a part of herself back in New York. It’s almost like her fears and anxieties did prove justified. Poor baby. 

Windows flung right open, autumn air

Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours

We bless the rains on Cornelia Street

Memorize the creaks in the floor

Back when we were card sharks, playing games

I thought you were leading me on

I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street

Before you even knew I was gone

But then you called, showed your hand

I turned around before I hit the tunnel

Sat on the roof, you and I

Those first four lines seem to be about the good again, and I’m happy for them. I really do think they had good times. Those four lines make me think of parts of YAIL and the toast and weekends and stuff. 

The rest of this verse though seems to be about the first split and subsequent reunion. “I thought you were leading me on” she says, and I “left Cornelia Street” presumably to go to London. But then Karlie called her back, “showed her hand” and Tay “turned around” before she reached the point of no return and they worked it out. “Sat on the roof, you and I” is similar in content to “up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush” but very different in tone. She’s not peppy here, she’s not positive. It’s a little bit tortured - and then it continues with “hoping it never ends”. The reappearance of the Tily imagery on Kaylor 2.0 songs makes sense to me, again, because discussing exes in the same social circle as you is just blatant lesbian culture. It makes complete sense that these two women are on Taylor’s mind. She has really really deep feelings for Karlie but she enjoyed the more simple and straightforward relationship she had with Lily. 

DBATC is the Kaylor 1.0 breakup anthem:

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts

We have her getting drunk to forget, trying to say “I’m fine” when it’s not true, and just generally missing Karlie. 

I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home

I mean, this is Cornelia Street (“never walk here again”) and Dress all over again. It’s the two ideas from before but now on the other side, because they’re actually broken up. 

And what once was ours is no one's now

I see you everywhere, the only thing we share

Is this small town

You said it was a great love, one for the ages

But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

“I see you everywhere” is very “this city screams your name” and I think “small town” is a metaphor for their social circle. The last two lines are just Tay being hung up on Karlie. She was writing pages in Cornelia Street as well, so this whole idea of telling a story with Karlie is another recurrent image. 

My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united, we stand

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up

Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough

But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

I mean this is the usual obsession, desperation and general pining Tay has for Karlie. We also have Karlie touching her briefly, which is something she has spoken about before and is really into. Paper-thin plans is probably about the plans to make it work? We have that image reparations later in hoax so I think it’s most likely about Karlie bailing on Tay’s PR game and doing her own thing and/or Karlie’s (accidental?) involvement in the masters heist. 

Also, this whole song is very sad but it’s not on the level of desperation I would expect if Tay wasn’t rebounding hard and if they didn’t reunite. She’s pretty sad about how the whole thing went down but she does say she’ll “be alright” which is the opposite of “that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend”. I think she wrote this after the first breakup and Cornelia Street came later, after they were back together. That’s when she really went all in into this relationship. It still wasn’t enough. 

False God is about their reunion:

We were crazy to think

Crazy to think that this could work

Remember how I said I'd die for you?

We were stupid to jump

In the ocean separating us

Remember how I'd fly to you?

We know Tay ran away to Europe after the mess of 2016 and here she jumps into the ocean separating them and flies back to Karlie. The idea of it being “crazy” that it could work is also a recurrent fear/anxiety she has with regards to Karlie. “I had a bad feeling,” remember?

And I can't talk to you when you're like this

Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town

I'm New York City, I still do it for you, babe

They all warned us about times like this

They say the road gets hard and you get lost

When you're led by blind faith, blind faith

They’re figuring things out, and Tay is New York - Karlie’s favorite city. “I still do it for you” is an admission of affection, which rarely happens in Kaylor songs, but it’s so sexual that I don’t find it shocking or out of character. 

But we might just get away with it

Religion's in your lips

Even if it's a false god

We'd still worship

We might just get away with it

The altar is my hips

Even if it's a false god

We'd still worship this love

I mean sex songs are just peak Kaylor and this is all just so so so gay and I don’t understand how hets can make it make srnse. “We might just get away with it” is the usual Kaylor anxiety by the way. 

I know heaven's a thing

I go there when you touch me, honey

Hell is when I fight with you

But we can patch it up good

Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness

Got the wine for you

And you can't talk to me when I'm like this

Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you

You're the West Village

You still do it for me, babe

They all warned us about times like this

They say the road gets hard and you get lost

When you're led by blind faith, blind faith

Standard Kaylor imagery with sensual touching, wine and New York and a direct reference to Karlie’s apartment. I think “make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness” appears to refer to the reunion. 

Daylight is a very beautiful love song for Karlie. The “golden”, the bodies intertwining, New York, and the depth of her emotions all fit the Kaylor story and narrative. I think she wrote this when they were back together. It’s also, as is common with the Kaylor songs, squarely from Tay’s perspective. She wrote it alone, and I think specifically for Karlie when they reunited. Very pretty, very nice. I mean they ended up breaking up and that was bound to happen in like every other song but when they were good Tay did create some gems and they were very happy. I love this song and I do like aspects of Kaylor’s time together. 

Now we get onto the songs that don’t neatly fit Kaylor. 

Afterglow could be a Kaylor song. But it could also be about the breakup with her rebound. It’s not only by Tay, so we’re looking for broad themes rather than specifics necessarily. 

Hey, it's all me, in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

But it's not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)

I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)

I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go

Meet me in the afterglow

I don’t know that this sounds like the Kaylor breakup we heard about. It’s a different premise to False God, DBATC and Cornelia Street. In all of those songs it was a mutual breakup/misunderstanding. “I can’t talk to you” and then “you can’t talk to me” in False God is a two-way communication issue. DBATC goes off at Karlie for taking up every part of her and “giving up on me”. Cornelia Street said Tay thought Karlie was “leading her on” but that was resolved. Then Afterglow goes and lays all the blame on Tay. 

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens, just crying

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say

Hey, it's all me, in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

I mean this really does sound like it’s Tay fucking up badly. Not wanting to let the other person in, taking it out on them, hurting her lover. 

It's so excruciating to see you low

Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

This ultraviolet morning light below

Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh

This really doesn’t sound like the Kaylor fear and stress. It sounds like the cerebral and emotional connection from Rep. “It’s so excruciating to see you low” seems tied up with the heart to hearts and conversations she was having in those secondary songs on Rep. 

Tell me that you're still mine

Tell me that we'll be just fine

Even when I lose my mind

I need to say

Tell me that it's not my fault

Tell me that I'm all you want

Even when I break your heart

I need to say

This just seems like a very different plan for fixing things than the one outlined in the Kaylor songs (which is “let’s bone”). Also “I break your heart” is an anxiety that seems to parallel the burgeoning love in Delicate, KOMH and CIWYW. It doesn’t seem like a Kaylor fear because Tay is always the one who wants Karlie more. I believe this is mostly a Tily breakup song. 

Then we get the three happy songs on the album: Lover, I Think He Knows and Paper Rings. It’s actually pretty intense that there are only three peppy, romantic songs on an album largely touted by Gaylors and Hetlors alike as being about a happy long term relationship. 

You want my controversial explanation for these songs? They’re fictional. All three are extremely vague and lacking in any of the Karlie/other person imagery. They’re like New Year’s Day and some of the early stuff. 

I Think He Knows is a very hetro song. It physically pains me to say that, it really does, but nothing about it seems gay to me. I guess “boyish look” is something you could say about some women but that’s really a reach. Also it’s just very much not a relatable lesbian emotion. I’ve never met a queer woman being like “yeah I think she KNOWS, you know?” about her girlfriend. “She’s so obsessed with me and boy I understand” would make no sense. Us sapphics are compulsive overthinkers. And that’s what comes across on all her songs about Karlie and about Di and even those Tily songs from Rep. That’s largely why Tay’s stuff is so damn gay. 

Tay’s permanently anxious - even on her love songs, there’s a thread of anxiety running through it all. This song is missing any of that anxiety. This song also has so, so many male pronouns…. And “I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans” is an objectively weird thing to say about a relationship. It just doesn’t strike me as sapphic, and it definitely doesn’t strike me as being about Karlie lr Lily or Di. Also Nashville is 16th Avenue and I don’t know why any of the women would be associated with Nashville.

That Nashville reference makes me think that maybe the song is inspired by the music industry generally? If you go look at 16th Avenue by Lacy J. Dalton, there’s a clear narrative about the music industry. I think it’s possible that Tay’s song is referencing the love she feels for and from the music industry and her fans. That would tie into the architectural plans, being 17 (she often speaks about being stuck at that age because it’s when she got famous), and “he’s so obsessed with me” makes sense when you’re AOTD. Even the “attitude” line makes sense in this interpretation. 

This bit:

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

"So where we gonna go?"

I whisper in the dark

"Where we gonna go?"

I think he knows

Is a little harder to make sense of and seems like it could maybe be about Lily or at least inspired by her - there’s the car/driving theme from the secondary Rep relationship and Lily does have indigo eyes (they’re way bluer than Joe’s). So maybe she used images and diaries from that period to add to the story about Nashville? But overall this smugness just doesn’t strike me as very gay and in general the song doesn’t seem to be about any one woman in her history. Also “better lock it down or I won’t stick around” is so very hetro and like… untortured. 

Paper Rings is not about Karlie but I also don’t think it’s about Lily. 

The moon is high

Like your friends were the night that we first met

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

Now I've read all of the books beside your bed

The wine is cold

Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

This is not about Karlie. We’ve heard repeatedly that they fell in love at first sight so “month or two or three” is kinda wild? Like they full on U-Hauled it with the Big Sur trip and Tay moving to New York and Karlie basically moving into her apartment. They were never cat and mouse? Also Karlie was a supermodel by the time they met one another so “trying to stalk you on the internet” seems a bit of an odd way to phrase it. There would’ve been plenty to find. They both had big reputations. Moreover, they had multiple mutual friends so “your friends” is also an odd turn of phrase. How does this verse fit any aspect of the Kaylor love story? 

In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool

When you jumped in first, I went in too

I'm with you even if it makes me blue

Which takes me back

To the color that we painted your brother's wall

Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws

We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so

This is also very not Kaylor lol except for the tall part. The chilled out hanging out and swimming and wall painting sounds more like the songs about Tily on Rep. 

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want, and

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want

In paper rings in picture frames in dirty dreams

Oh, you're the one I want

This seems like it could be Tily because of the “we went from friends to this” (Kaylor were never friends, and had no intention of being friends, they’ve literally only ever dated). But I’m not sure Tay ever wanted to marry Lily? That’s not what comes across in the other Tily songs. 

I want to drive away with you

I want your complications too

I want your dreary Mondays

Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

The driving and the chilledness is similar to the Tily songs but I’m still not sold. It really doesn’t feel particularly authentic. 

Also, I know I mostly do lyric analysis but I’d like to include this quote from Tay about the song: “This song talks about true love, and if you really find true love, you probably don't really care what the symbolism of that love is. Material things wouldn't matter to you anymore if you found someone that you just wanted to live your life with.” The quote is distinctly hypothetical. “You probably don’t really care” “wouldn’t” “if you found”....

My gut says this is based around positive romantic relationships she has had but is extrapolated to a rosy conclusion. One day, Tay’s gonna want to marry someone with paper rings. But for now it’s a fictional hypothetical. None of the details fit any of her relationships. It’s made up. That’s why it includes the “baby boy” line... because it’s fiction. 

And now for the really hot take… Lover is equally made up, although she was - again - inspired by her real relationships. 

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

This is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

This is continuing the themes from New Year’s Day which always strikes me as a “what if” rather than an actual ode to one of the muses. That final line seems like it could be about Karlie but the absolute calmness with which she sings makes it seem like it’s not about her. The mysterious way is also a brand new image and considering how much she sings about Karlie you would’ve thought we’d have had that image at least once before?

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

I mean this doesn’t sound like Kaylor. Part of the anxiety there is always about going places together and being seen. It does have bits that seem like Tily to me; “take me out and take me home” kind of reminds me of the “meet me in the back” and “can we always be this close” seems similar to “is it chill that you’re in my head?” 

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

The first three lines could be about either Karlie or Lily although I don’t know if Tily had “their place”. Kaylor definitely did. 

That last line… is kinda why I think this is mostly fiction. I mean we know it doesn’t make sense for Toe. We know that. And I know about the gymnastics to fit it as a Kaylor song. But the thing is, even if she wrote it around the time that they went away to Wyoming, why wouldn’t she update it when recording it? It literally doesn’t fit the Toe timeline so it can’t be that she wanted it for that. She could’ve made it vague. But no she says “three summers”. Where else have we heard about “three summers”?

September saw a month of tears

And thankin' God that you weren't here

To see me like that

But in a box beneath my bed

Is a letter that you never read

From three summers back

It's hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet

That’s from Tim McGraw. 

She just likes that image. It recurs. It’s not about Karlie, and it’s not about Lily, and it’s obviously not about Joe. It’s just a pretty turn of phrase. She loves counting in summers and Cruel Summers and the summer in Betty/august…. It’s not something she associates with one person. 

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my

Lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my

Lover

This whole wedding bit doesn’t make sense for either Kaylor or Tily or Swiftgron. Like she’s constantly questioning Karlie’s commitment to her. And you want me to believe she’s singing vows? Lol no. 

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat

Lover

Very cute. Very non-specific. Not about any one partner. 

So this supposed ode/serenade to Karlie doesn’t feature any of the images associated with her and doesn’t include any details that actively fit their relationship arc as described elsewhere except for jealousy and possibly love at first sight. 

These three peppy love songs - which make up the minority of songs on the album - are about Taylor’s manifestations for the future. ITHK could be about the industry more generally. The other two are describing what she wants and what she pictures as ideal for a relationship. 

So conclusions: a large chunk of the songs on Lover aren’t about romance. Many, many are about Karlie. Afterglow could be about Lily and some of the regrets Tay had about the split. Paper Rings, I Think He Knows and Lover aren’t about anyone in particular. 

Last thought: I agree that It’s Nice To Have a Friend is about lesbians generally. But also possibly about Karlie, in which case the final verse is Karlie choosing the marriage with Josh and in that case the song is fucking devastating and heartbreaking. But tbh a lot about Kaylor is so it’s no surprise 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

---------------------------------------------------

As usual, I’m up to discuss this. Do you agree? Disagree? Let’s talk! xx

[classpect-crew]

if that's not a burden, can you explain a bard of light's personality? because, well, it's not THAT difficult to understand their abilities, but a BARD'S identity? yeah no my monke brain is not smart enough

For sure! And don't worry, my friend, we are all monke brain with some things. My strength just happens to lie in analyzing archetypal concepts in a work of fiction as opposed to, oh, anything that could be of some use in a career field. Then again, I did go for an English minor, so I suppose it makes sense I'd get so into this sort of thing.

I digress. Bards are, in general, extremely hard to understand. In fact, that's a huge part of their Class purpose. It isn't just that we have such strange examples of Bards in canon, although that certainly doesn't help. The nature of a Bard is that they passively allow the destruction of their Aspect, or destroy through it in periods of lucidity, but what does that mean for the Bard? I think their name is one of the more confusing aspects. A more correct term would be Jester, which would still fit with the courtly theme of its counterpart, the Prince, but then it wouldn't fit the reference to Bard Quest, one of Hussie's earlier works, which greatly inspired the Class.

Bards are, in a word, irreverent. Like the jesters of old, they're permitted to mock and ridicule even those of great importance with little consequence, revealing deeper truths about the world through a lens of satire and emotional distance. This is why the Bard of Rage is one of those seemingly redundant titles alongside ones like the Maid of Space (one who "creates creation") because Rage is the Aspect of hard truths and breaking through delusions. What does this mean for our Bard of Light, then: one who laughs in the face of plot relevance, fortune, and the concept of knowledge itself?

It means they're going to be the type to ask, how do we know what we know? They would laugh at a being who claims to be omniscient and point to the existence of the Void, which by its very definition holds mysteries which simply cannot be known to the Lightbound. They see the concept of fortune as a joke, an excuse the "unlucky" use to slough off personal responsibility, as we're always building our own realities, one choice at a time. The very idea of "relevance" is a bold proclamation by some (ahem, Vriska) that their mere presence has any more true power over the universe's ultimate direction than those who do their work without acknowledgement.

The Bard of Light is unafraid to take a backseat at times, peppering conversations with doubts about so-called conventional wisdom and encouraging others to enjoy the great mysteries of life, rather than peeling back every layer of reality ad nauseum, clinically stripping it of whatever purpose they pretend it might have. They would no doubt have a sharp intellect matched only by their conviction that knowledge is an absurd concept in itself. Laymen and experts alike would face the Bard's eternal prodding of how do you know? and are you sure that's right? before eventually admitting they don't truly know.

You know, now that I'm talking about Bards like this, I'm starting to think I may actually be one myself—at least, my Organic Classpect (that which best describes my real-life development) could be described as the Bard of Mind. Well, shit. That's a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didn't even really need solving. But damn if it didn't just get solved, so nice work.

[lacielre]

circles over circles, 1 (m)

SUMMARY  Your life has been pretty stable from any university task to your social life and love life, everything has been set perfectly like a plate to a dining table. but that changes when you encounter the one person you remember to feel indifferent the most—Jungkook.

PAIRING  jimin/reader, jungkook/reader

RATING  mature

GENRE  college au | smut, romance, heavy angst, friends to “enemies” to lovers, childhood friends, established relationship

WARNINGS  fingering, lots of dwelling in the past 

WORD COUNT  6.2k

PARTS  1, 2

PRESENT-DAY AUTUMN…

These past few days, you’ve always spent extended hours inside the twenty-four-seven-open campus library. Sometimes, you would even feel that the night skipped a few hours advanced into morning because you’ve drifted off to sleep. A few times. Only a few but more than thrice. But it’s difficult not to when it’s purely quiet, only a number of flickered lights to brighten up the tables and shelves, and most importantly, just at the right temperature amid this tiptoeing winter that’s only a few steps away.

Tonight, making use of the nap you had from the noon of yesterday, you exit the library around 5AM. You have some hours to jog back to your dorm then take a short snooze before your classes start.  

On the march home, you take a stop at a small independent coffee shop a few blocks away from your building to take-out breakfast for you and your roommate, Seulgi, whose classes are always at 7:30 in the morning. A torture for the nursing student you share your space with.  

Twenty-minute walks to the dorm are beneficial; they stand as your exercise, you convince yourself. If someone asks if you ever do anything to become fit, you can just say you “jog” daily when all you do is lazily drag your feet across the damp asphalt through the fog thickly peppered on the air.

With hands full of two paper bags, one barely clipped on your elbow and a drink carrier of two cups of hot coffee hanging from your left hand, opening the glass door of your building is a test indeed. As you struggle to pull the metal bar attached to it, someone pushes it from the inside for you.

“Thank you so—” you start but have to cut when you see who it is, “much.”

“Welcome,” Jungkook says succinctly. He sniffles as he opens the door wide and ticks his head to the side, signalling you to get inside quickly before the breeze starts seeping in.

“Oh. Oh yeah, right. Thanks,” you say again. “Thanks. It’s kinda freezing out.”

He brushes a finger under his nose and nods while his other hand is kept busy as he removes his airpods from his ears. “Yeah,” he agrees. “You’re out early. Sun’s not even out yet. You shouldn’t be outside this dark.”

“Yeah, well, I—uh—had to study. Exams are coming up,” you explain. And you’re thinking, how and why the fuck are you talking to him right now?

“Need help with that?” Jungkook nods at your stuff with both hands tucked inside his black sweatpants.

“No? No. No, thanks.”

He only looks at you.

“Yes. I do. I do, actually. Um, could you just click the elevator floor for me?” you request with fumbled thoughts and heart that’s beating fast.

“Sure.” He shrugs.

“Thanks.”

He chuckles at that.

You note to yourself: stop saying “thanks” all the time.

You lead the way to the opened elevator and Jungkook only follows as he brushes a hand through his long, curly hair, which you have only noticed. How the hell is he allowed to walk around this campus looking like that?

A step closer to you, you then notice how much about Jungkook has changed since you two kind of fell off, not that you two were ever involved romantically, but you two were best—good friends. Sort of. You were with each other throughout high school anyway, and not being able to be his friend in college made you think that it’s probably supposed to be this way.

And it broke you.

But some friendships fall apart.

Many people who are older than you – your cousins, aunts, summer job colleagues – have told you a lot of the friendships you’ve made along the way during high school don’t necessarily last. You agreed with that.

You just didn’t think it’d be the one with him.

“Which floor?” Jungkook asks.

“Oh!” You jump a bit. “Eighth.”

“Alright,” he says, and right when he’s about to get off the lift, he turns around and takes care of an imaginary itch on his forehead. “You know what, I’ll help you with that ‘til you get to your room. That looks expensive.”

It’s not.

“It’s not,” you say aloud. You go red. “It’s just from the small shop three blocks away, the one beside the bookstore, across the post office. It’s not that known but food and drinks are delicious there. Plus very, very cheap.”

Jungkook exhales with a smile as the elevator closes. “I see.”

No one talks and you aren’t sure if you’re thankful for the elevator music filling the air enveloping the both of you. If anything, it probably makes the situation worse, awkward. And you hate that no one’s speaking.

“You’re up early,” you comment finally after a few dreaded seconds.

“Training,” he answers quickly.

“Ah, right.” You nod. “The game’s around the corner?”

“Uh-huh.” This time, he nods. “Your boyfriend playing?”

You glow red at that and you swallow. “Yes. H-He will.”

“What’s his name again?”

“Jimin. Park Jimin.”

“Right.”

You’re not sure how two conflicting temperatures are playing with your body at the same time.  Right this moment, you are completely frozen on your spot and your cold hands are sweating. On the other hand, your breath is hitched and warmth has its fashion to conquer you. You feel hot. It wouldn’t take long for bullets of sweat to appear on your forehead.

It’s not difficult to find a reason why he knows you’re dating Jimin, an athlete from another university that will be playing against your university’s team in the coming weeks. Because Jimin, like all good-looking athletes in campuses, is popular. Sort of—well, it’s college.

Jungkook takes the beverage carrier and one of the wrinkled paper bags from you as soon as the metallic gold doors part ways. He gives you a small smile, one that barely looks like one but the sparks in his eyes make up for it.

“Lead the way,” he says, motioning you to.

“Right. Okay,” you say, walking forward then left.

As you sweat to the fabrics of your jacket, your feet shuffle rapidly through the unclean, patterned tiles of the hallway. Doors rush past your vision until you’re finally in front of your own—your home in this stressing universe of a university.

“This is me.” You turn to smile at him only to catch him looking intently at the golden plate of numbers plastered on your black-painted wooden door. You take your stuff from his arms gently. “Thank you so, so much.”

Would it be wrong to tell him you missed him, talking to him?

It must be.

“You’re welcome, _____.”

It’s the first time anyone of you mentioned the other’s name. You didn’t think it would be him who would recall that he actually knows the name of the figure he’s talking to. And the same thing could be said to you.

“See you around,” you mutter and you couldn’t help but give in to the stretch of a tight-lipped smile across your mouth as you add, “Jungkook.”

“Don’t walk around… when… uh, it’s dark,” he manages to say.

Silently, you say, “Okay,” in feathered breaths.

With that, he finally turns around while you twist your toes to face your door instead, not bothering to watch him walk away until he finds his way to the elevator. You fish for your keys inside your pocket. And of course, it takes you a minute or two to finally get inside your room and find your roommate with her hands covering her mouth.

“Were you just outside with Jungkook?” Suelgi asks through her palms.

“Thanks for helping me open the door, by the way,” you say satirically as you sigh. “And yep, that’s him alright.”

“Did you just sigh?” she asks in disbelief.

“It’s Jungkook.”

“Oh, right… history.” She wiggles her brows. “Oh, to have such a not-boring high school life!”

“Boring is fine,” you state. “Also, I-uh, brought some breakfast.”

“Yay! OMG,” she squeals. “Thank you! I was starving last night but I had to sleep it off because there was no food in the fridge.”

Your forehead creases. “You could’ve ordered.”

“I know that. I just chose to sleep instead.” She approaches you and kisses your head as she snatches the paper bags from your hand. “You see, this is why Jimin loves you so much, _____.”

“You got what you wanted. No need to flatter me.”

“Were you out again studying?” Her voice floats farther from your auditory perception as she strides away to unpack the brown bags on the kitchen counter. “These smell good!”

You take off your shoes. “Yup,” you say as you let gravity pull your body to the surrender of the couch. “I’m just gonna nap.”

“Hey, eat with me first,” she requests then giggles. “We’re gonna talk about Jeon.”

“Not funny!”

AUTUMN, FOUR YEARS AGO…

Even amid the tormenting coldness brought by the icy wind, you needed to go to tutorial lessons to prepare for the upcoming exams. This would determine your future, they told you and you held onto that idea. The lessons were held every 7PM until 11PM at the building about five streets behind your apartment. It was one from the many commercial modern-styled buildings lined by the highway tracks.

By the time the tutorial ended, you already had your things rammed into your backpack so you could go home before it could even get darker. You didn’t know anyone in the room and it wasn’t like everyone had the energy to still be friendly, to ask you for some carton drinks on the way home, or to relish on a three-dollar-meal dinner at some twenty-four-seven fast-food chain.

The soles of your rubber shoes were on the frosty cement in no time.

“_____!”

You turned around quickly, trying to find Jungkook’s voice. That was his for sure. It didn’t take long for your eyes to locate him. He was at a convenience store at the corner, across where you stood.

“Kook!” you shouted back.

He rushed to you quickly with white breath mimicking the way his lips exhaled air. “There shouldn���t be a reason you’re out this late.”

“Right,” you remarked sarcastically, kicking lightly at his ankle. “Like you have any business to be out this late.”

“I was craving for some noodles,” he rebutted so simply. “You still attending prep class?”

“Of course, I am. Not everyone’s a star athlete like you.”

He glared at you. “You’re pushing yourself too hard,” Jungkook managed to say silently.

“Come again. Is this concern I hear?” you teased, dramatically putting a hand on your chest.

“Forget it.”

You huffed at him. “I’m trying to get into the university that’s recruiting you. I’m not pushing myself to get in for you, though—well, not entirely. It’s—”

“Your first choice. Your dream university or whatever, I know,” he finished.

“Exactly. That’s why you should be supporting me. I’m doing just fine. See?” You put your open palms by your shoulders. “No stress.”

“I can’t take you seriously with those bags under your eyes, _____.” He narrowed his eyes.

“I naturally have those, Jungkook. Stop insulting me.”

“Accidentally insulting you,” he corrected.

“Okay. Well, stop accidentally insulting me, Jungkook.”

He gave up with a sigh. “Okay, I’m gonna ask you something but you’re only allowed to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to my questions, okay?”

“What’s this f—”

“You like ice cream?”

You gave in. “Yes.”

“You like winter?”

“Yes.”

“You want to learn piano?”

“Yes.”

“You’re tired?”

“Yes—” you gasped loudly. “Okay, that’s just unfair! My brain was trained to say ‘yes’ as an answer to every question. It was instinct.”

While you were busy trying to lecture him, all he had as a reply to you was a smirk as he shook his head in dismissal. It was to say that enough, I already won. And maybe, it was right for him to win this. It was true you were tired anyway. Only, you found it hard to admit it to yourself until he made you so.

“I’m hungry.” You looked up to him. “Weren’t you craving for noodles? Let’s eat.”

Jungkook smiled at you, a damn perfect one. “C’mon,” he said, gesturing for you to grab his hand because you were about to cross the street.

“There are no cars, Jungkook,” you stated.

“Fine.” He retracted his hand.  

At mid-passage, two trucks were on their way to cross paths with you and Jungkook, and Jungkook wasn’t planning to stop walking and it was scaring you.

You didn’t know how to cross streets when there were no street lights tucked on the bends of the roads to guide you. You always found trouble finding purchase as to when to cross, so you always had to wait for every upcoming vehicle to pass before you moved your limbs frontward.

So you clutched Jungkook’s hand.

“See, I told you,” he succinctly said, not looking at you.

He held onto yours tightly.

There was no assurance as to whose heart was beating fast at that moment.

Even then, it was quiet.

  “What if you don’t get to the university I’ll be in?” Jungkook asked casually.

“You don’t believe I can?” you teased, trying to sound offended.

He paused. “No—it’s not that! Of course, I do! It’s j—”

That was your queue to laugh and you did.

“Asshole,” was his sheer comment.

“If I don’t get in, it’s no big deal. There’s always a plan B, even a C, to G,” you explained. “I have lots of backups, you know.”

“Where’s the plan B university?”

“The one near yours,” you muttered as you grazed your chopsticks on the floor of the hot paper bowl caged in your palm, trying to clasp short bits of noodles. “It’s just as good but it doesn’t have the program I want.”

He nodded at that. “Do your best.”

You lifted your head to look at him but he wasn’t looking at you. So instead of coming up with a serious response to that, you decided to go on a different direction. “Aww,” you cooed, “can’t go through college without me now, Kook?”

“You wish.”

“Rude.”

“I, um, what do you think about sharing a dorm?” he asked, and when you failed to respond quickly, “my mom wants us to,” he added.

“Ahh.” It was clearer for you now. “That won’t be fair to me because then, I’ll have to clean up your mess. You’d make a terrible roommate, Jungkook.”

“Hey!” He put down the water bottle he had been holding. “I’m not that bad.”

“You’d think,” you provoked more.

Jungkook only huffed, doing his best not to be annoyed while he waited for you to finish your meal. He had been over his for about 20 minutes now. You were a slow eater and Jungkook always took note of that which was why every time he finished his meals, he would always find you something to drink afterwards. So he wouldn’t just be waiting there, watching you eat.

“Thanks for this,” you said as you opened the lid of your drink.

“That’d be two dollars.”

You glared at him. “No way. Let’s just head home. It’s getting late.”

“Right. Like an hour before midnight wasn’t late enough.”

“Okay, genius. It’s getting late late.”

“That makes it better,” he mocked.

Instead of replying, you got up abruptly, carrying the weight of your backpack on the span of your back. Jungkook arranged the disposable materials you both ate on and threw them to the mouth of the nearest garbage bin next to the counter.

And then you were outside the store.

“What are you doing?” you asked, looking at Jungkook’s fingers twined with yours.

Jungkook swallowed. “There might be cars,” he explained shortly but slowly as he let go of your hand and tucked his own inside the warm, joined pockets of his hoodie.  

It didn’t take long for the two of you to reach your rent-controlled apartment, especially when throughout the tread home, you two bickered over the littlest of things. And for a moment, it felt like you were brought back to being first-year highschoolers again, when you two had just met and eventually became friends after finding out that you shared the same path home.

“Tenth floor, right?” Jungkook asked as you both waited for the elevator to come down.

You nodded. “Why’d you have to ask, you practically live here.”

He entered the crane as soon as it arrived and you followed, stopping right by his side.  

You look at him.

He looked at you and sighed. “Next time, after your prep class, call me. You really shouldn’t be out this dark,” and before your witty remark, “I’m serious.”

PRESENT-DAY AUTUMN…

You have no idea why you still have a small picture of Jungkook stuck into your wallet behind asymmetrically folded trivial receipts. If anything, you should have thrown it away as soon as college started. You must be hanging onto this false hope that maybe, somehow, at some point in the future, there’s still a chance things would go back.

That maybe there’s a reason he suddenly pushed you away.

“Where are you eating dinner? Wanna take-out?” Seulgi asks silently as you’re both in the library.

Her voice makes you close your wallet abruptly, and you hope she doesn’t think too much of it. Or else, she would tease you to no end.

“Ah, I’m going out with Jimin tonight,” you say with a wide smile, packing your items.

“Oh, to have a boyfriend who’d ditch training just to have dinner with me,” your roommate theatrically teases. “Say hi to him for me.”

“Sure.”

“Tell your boyfriend too that, that one time he sent food to our dorm, he can still do that,” Seulgi adds with little to no pause in between words. “Tell him not to be shy.”

“Okay. You,” you sigh, inserting your notebook into your bag, “need a boyfriend.”

“_____, I have classes from 7:30AM to 5PM, Mondays to Fridays, half-days on Saturdays. You can’t possibly think I’ve got time for that.” She ponders over the idea for a second, though. “You know what, maybe a fuck buddy will do.”

“Oh, yeah, no fucking way,” you quickly say, shaking your head. “You’ve gone through that already.”

“So protective,” she coos. “You’re for real the big sister I never had.”

You are a year older than her and you’ve shared your dorm with her for about two semesters now. On your freshman year, you didn’t have a roommate and it was so tough living alone to pay all the bills so you opened a slot before first semester officially ended. And there, she entered your life. You’re glad it was her.

“I’m going!” you scream-whisper. “Don’t sleep with an empty stomach, okay? I think there’s still some leftovers in the fridge. If anything—”

“Comes up, just call me,” she continues, mimicking your voice and tone – hardly. “Okay, okay. You sound like my mom now. Go and get laid.”

   If there’s something you love most about Jimin, it would be his determination to make time with the people he loves, one of them being you luckily.

“You sure you don’t wanna take-out?” you ask for the nth time.

“I’m sure. Besides, I’m almost done.” He gives you a peck on the lips, his being the smoothest, softest pair even with the chilly season.  “And babe, you can’t live off take-outs. It’s not healthy.”

“You’re the expert.” You shrug. “You sure you’re not tired?” you say, worried.  

“I’m definitely sure.” He shakes his head. “If anything, all I feel is that I miss you.”

“Cheesy,” you say, smirking and narrowing your eyes.

You instantly wrap your hands around his waist as you lean your body on his back. Being shorter than him, it’s difficult to put your chin on his shoulder and watch him cook. Giving up, you set your cheek on the span of his back, feeling the vibrations as he hums. You sigh and he notices that.

“I think you’re the tired one here,” Jimin utters, concern laced in his tone. “I don’t think studying at dawn is healthy for you, babe.”

“It’s not healthy for anyone; you’re right,” you yield. “But I already had my body clock adjusted to this.”

“You have 9AM classes, _____.” He creases his forehead. “There’s no way you’re getting full eight hours of sleep. Stop with this already and listen to me this time.”

“Sorry.” You nod. “You’re right,” you repeat. “Just two more days for exams then I’ll go back to my uninterrupted sleeps. All my exams are done by Friday anyway.”

With that, you unfasten your hands to let go of him and walk towards the empty kitchen counter beside him, lift your body, and sit on it.

And just like that, leaning your side on the wall, you watch until he turns off the stove.

“Let’s eat,” he says.

And he catches you merely staring at him.  

“Something wrong?” Jimin asks, turning to face you and ending up at a position where he stands between your legs. He slides his hands up and down on your bare thighs, getting close to your ass then back to your thighs.

You shake your head. “Just missed you,” you sigh, “a lot.”

“Missed you too,” he replies, leaning in for a kiss.

The kiss, shallow at first but with a hand crept up your nape, he pulls you in deeper. And the reply you could muster is a throaty moan as you lock your ankles around him. You play with his hair softly, much different from the kiss you share.

Softly, you sigh as he pulls away.

He lets go to place his lips on the crook of your neck, hot breath on sensitive skin but all you could do is throw your head backwards to give him more access.

“Hmm, smell so good,” Jimin mumbles, inhaling your scent, licking and kissing small spots on your neck.

His hands travel to your waist inside your (his) shirt with his thumb gently circling a skin of your stomach. One goes upwards to your ribs and just so, so close to your mound.

“Knew you weren’t wearing one when you hugged me,” he breathes out on the shell of your ear. “Such a good girl for me.”

He goes over the curve of your breast and catches your nipple between his fingers, making you whimper in small sounds as you arch your back. “So, so sensitive too.” He nips at your neck, just lightly grazing his teeth.

Jimin withdraws from sucking spots on your neck. While his hand is busy with your breast, his other cups your cheek, making you look at him with dilated eyes. He pushes your chin to open your mouth and he licks at your lips making you hitch a breath.

Before you could even do anything, he sucks at your bottom lip.

With the gesture, you couldn’t help but to fist his shirt in your hands, scared you would faint if continues to play with you like this. He chuckles at that before finally attaching his lips to yours, entering his tongue into your mouth. And you suckle his tongue, trying to level with the intensity he’s giving you.

He moans at that and he flicks your nipple to receive a moan from you.

“F-Fuck,” you mutter, and you already feel the immense wetness pooling on your panties.

His fingers dangerously dance along the ends of your pajama shorts. And when they enter the fabric, they only stay on your inner thigh, tapping lightly at your skin.

“Jimin, please…” you exhale. “J-Just—just do—do something.”

“You want my fingers?”

And he gets so fucking close, staying on your panties but he retrieves to palm your inner thigh instead. “Answer me, babe. Just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you,” Jimin says, looking into your eyes.

You hate how he’s able to maintain such demeanor when you’re already this fucked out over a kiss.

“C’mon, baby…”

“I-I want your fingers inside of me,” you say, shyly.

He nods at you as his fingers rub you over your panties and he could feel how wet you are. He rubs your clit over the fabric and you couldn’t help but fist his shirt even more.

“Inside me—please, please,” you beg with a tiny voice, spreading your legs apart.

“So impatient,” he comments and he finally enters a digit. “Fuck, you’re tight. Could barely move around here, baby.” He starts thrusting it into your core slowly in a torturous pace.

You clench at his words and even when you don’t speak, he knows you like it when he talks to you like this. Your small whimpers and short moans tell him enough. And there’s something about you and your submissiveness that he couldn’t get enough of.

“Can you take one more, princess?” he says, stilling his hand.

You don’t answer, squeezing your eyes shut. You sigh at the loss of movement so you hold onto his wrist and try to move him but he doesn’t budge. He only shakes his head.

“Take one more for me?” he repeats, thrusting his hand again slow but hard.

You nod quickly with eyes shut as you feel him add another finger and curl them inside you.

“Can you hear that?” Jimin whispers as he thrusts his hand fast. “Fuck. You’re so wet.”

The sounds of your juices squelching are the only thing you could hear along the fast beating of your heart in your chest and the quick high-pitched whimpers you exhale. But you are too embarrassed to even answer his question.

You grow even wetter by second and that makes you redder than ever.

“Answer me,” he says, slowing his pace.

You gulp. “Yesyes. I can hear it.” You bury your face on his shoulder, muffling your words as you’re not able to take it anymore. “Fuck—nnghh—!”

Jimin knows you’re so close to falling apart on his fingers—way too close. It might be the fastest he’s made you come undone on his fingers. You are clenching on his fingers too tightly and his blood is already rushing down to his cock.

His thumb presses on your folds until he finds your clit and rubs over it in circular motion. It has you breathing even faster. You couldn’t help but to bite his collarbone to ease the pleasure you’re feeling.

“O-Oh, my God!” you scream, although the sounds are muffled. “Jimin!”

Then he has your legs trembling.

Just a bit more. A little bit more.

“Come,” he sternly commands.

And with rapid moans, you do. Slowly, you let go of his shirt and lick a stripe of his neck and nibbling at some parts. He pulls his fingers and raises them to you. Without letting a second pass, you hold his wrist and you let your tongue clean his fingers, and his hairs raise at that.  

You hear his small “fuck” as you taste yourself off him.

Just when you’re about to wrap his fingers with your mouth, his hands reach the back of your knees, pulling you closer to him.  Your heat is placed just above his abdomen and he could feel you pulsing.

His face is incredibly close to you and none of you are doing anything about it. You let his hot breath fan your pinkish cheeks, and he lets you rub your hands on the span of his arms.

“Tired?” he asks, leaning his forehead onto yours.

“Just need a minute,” you answer.  

Then a smirk forms on his lips. “We were supposed to be here to eat dinner.”

“Mhm” – you loll your head to the side and kiss the corner of his mouth – “I like you better.”

Jimin chuckles at that. “Stay over tonight?” he cautiously asks, testing the waters and afraid you’ll turn him down to do something else (e.g. studying).

You nod at his request. “Definitely,” and you add, “I’ll be troubled finding a reason to leave after—well, that.”

If there’s something you love most about Jimin, it would be his determination to make time with the people he loves, one of them being you luckily and his cock.

   “Will you attend the game on Saturday?” Jimin asks slowly.

The contrast of his personality is adorable to you. Just an hour ago, he’s ready to take the life out of you with his fingers. But now, he’s warily asking you if you could make it to one of his games on a weekend.

You smile wickedly at him. “I’ll be there for sure!”

“Great,” he says excitedly. “Who are you supporting?”

Your eyes turn into slits at him. “You! Who else?”

“Well, you’re friends with lots from your team. You know, Namjoon, Seokjin, and well—uh, and they’re playing, too,” he explains.

“Yeah, well, I’m friends with Taehyung from your team, too,” you say, refuting his theory. “I miss Tae.”

“Really, now,” Jimin grunts. “He’s my friend and all but ever since the story you told me before, I just can’t help but picture it, then I get mad—no, frustrated. Just a little but still—”

“We fooled around once, Jimin. Nothing even happened,” you quickly defend. “Once. And we were on our last year of high school. That’s like three years ago! That’s before you even dared to ask me out. And I had to kiss you for you to ask me out.”

“Yeah, I-I know. I know,” he says. “I can’t help it.”

“Don’t picture it!” you tell him, laughing.

“This is not funny,” he complains. “Like, whenever I’m with Tae, it’s all good. It’s fine. When I’m with you, it’s all good too. But when you two happen to be in the same space, I can’t help it. Or whenever someone mentions it.”

“Just so you know though, you’re the only one I’ve ever loved,” you confess, solemnly.

You close the gap between the two of you to press your lips on his jaw, not that it’s far considering that you two are literally cuddling up on the couch with a playing movie that none of you pays attention to.

He looks down at you.

“I’ve had flings. You had yours too! And I’m probably not aware of it, but you’ve probably messed with some of my friends in high school—but you know, I don’t think about it,” you add, shaking your head.

Jimin only kisses your crown. “It’s hard for me because there’s a face. I know who Taehyung is, and he’s my friend. You have a feeling I’ve fooled around with some of your friends, but you don’t know who. That’s the difference.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Is it—that’s what you get from all that?”

“Well?” you raise a question. “There’s nothing else to get from that.”

“Okay—okay, you’re right,” he says, halting as he realizes.

“Hey, hey,” you say, making him lock eyes with you. “I love you.”

Jimin couldn’t help but smile at that. “Love you too,” before he cages your body and kiss you with the right amount of passion and intensity.

“I gotta say, jealousy is a good look on you,” you tease.

“Don’t make me deliberately jealous please.”

“Won’t ever do that,” you assure.

   When the sun burned your thighs through Jimin’s bedroom curtains, he’s no longer beside you. But there’s a note he left on his nightstand that says he had to go out early because he ditched training last night for you. You smile at the simple gesture which turned grand by the breakfast he’s cooked for you. As though the leftovers from dinner last night aren’t enough.

Treating his home as yours, you do your morning routine with an incomplete skincare regimen and leave the apartment locked. You even have to double-check it, afraid that you accidentally abandon it open.

Getting back in track with your usual mornings, you head to the coffee shop you always stop by for of course, coffee. The shop owner’s daughter, Joohyun, whom you’ve known and been friends with since high school (who currently attends classes at Jimin’s university), serves you your usual – precise teaspoons of sugar, precise part of milk, and precise hotness of beverage.

“Jungkook was here,” Joohyun starts.

Instead of standing behind the counter, she shares a table with you while munching on some peanuts.

“And I should know this, why?” you ask, narrowing your eyes at her.

“We had a small talk, the typical ‘how are you’ all that, then he mentioned you is why,” she points out with a smirk. She chomps her snack.

That makes you stop a little but you don’t show it – hopefully. To hide your surprise, you take a small sip of your drink, not bothering to play with the temperature as you trust Joohyun and her ability to warm up a drink just right.

“What—what did he say?” you say, needing to pause in between as you swallow the remnants of your coffee’s bitterness soaking on the buds of your tongue.

“That you mentioned this place to him,” Joohyun states, smiling now.  “Since when did you two start talking again, huh? It’s like we opened a door to seven years ago, damn.”

“We talked yesterday for a while and that’s probably the only time we’ll talk until we graduate,” you dismiss.

Joohyun shrugs. “Whatever you say,” she utters, unconvinced.

“At least, sound like you believe me, Joohyun.”

She giggles instead, not bothering to rephrase her words. “Anyway, how are you and Jimin?”

“It’s been great!” you exclaim. “But you know, he’s a bit—uh, how do I say this?” You pause to find the right words, snapping your fingers, and Joohyun’s just waiting for you.

“I do not have all the time in the world, _____.”

“He’s a bit, um, insecure—no, that’s not right.”

“What do you mean ‘insecure’? Like, ‘doesn’t-feel-confident-with-himself-because-the-game-is-close’ insecure?”

You shake your head. “You know that part of the relationship where you talk about exes and stuff like that?”

“Ooh, that.” Joohyun nods, finally seeing where you’re going. “But you two have been together for two years now; I’m surprised you haven’t had this talk earlier.”

“No. No, we had, but it keeps resurfacing. Then we talked about the people we’ve been with, and you know I’ve fooled around with Taehyung right?”

Joohyun nods again.

“Well, he feels weird about it because they’re close and all. I don’t know.” You exhale a sigh. “And there’s more. I told him there’s probably a huge chance he’s fooled around with at least one of my friends.” You lift a finger.

Her eyes widen at that then she nods her head very slowly – again. “And… what did he say?”

“He said that’s what I think,” you utter and Joohyun only nods and nods at you, so you go ahead and continue. “But it’s not like it’s far-fetched, right? Our high schools weren’t that far from each other. He’s just so weirded-out by me and Tae, but it’s been so, so long. Why are you so quiet? Say something! Also! I wouldn’t be bothered if he tells me he had done it with my frie—oh, my God, you have?”

You almost shout your last words.

“What gave it away?” Joohyun whisper-shouts, covering her mouth. “Was it the nods?”

“Could you be a little more obvious?” you shout back. “You and Jimin? Oh, my God. And you never told me!”

“I didn’t think it was important! Why didn’t he tell you?” she defends.

“He probably doesn’t even know we’re friends, Joohyun!” you say quickly.

“Well, he should! And in my defense though, _____, I had the hardest time trying to find a way to tell you. I knew you were talking about some Jimin to me before but I didn’t know it was that Jimin.”

You wiggle on your seat, your mind making up the image of Joohyun and Jimin together intimately without your cue. And Jimin was right; it’s weird. You put your hands into fists, cringing at the idea.

“Oh, my God, are you mad at me?” Joohyun asks, not able to decipher your reactions.

“No?” you say, unsure, and then calmly and more certainly this time, “no. It was high school, before we were even together.”

“Jimin and I—we only did it onc—”

“Stopstopstop! Can we talk about something else?” you beg.

“Okay, okay. Yeah. Of course, sure,” she agrees frantically. “So, um—Jungkook! How did you two start talking again?”

You summarize everything into a simpler situation. “Shared the elevator ride.” Your shoulders slump back. “Can we not make it a bigger deal than it is—not!—it is not a big deal,” you correct midway. “I stand by what I said, you know, we’re never gonna talk again. I just know it.”

“And you know better because you’re a what? A fucking psychic?” she scoffs.

“Rude.”

“I’m just saying, _____,” Joohyun states. “I’m not saying that your relationship with him should have the same depth as the one you had with him in high school. Inseparable and just you know, so… young.”

You wait for her to continue, not being able to reply to that because you think she might be making a point. So far, she has.

“All I’m saying is that this is a burden you never lifted off your shoulders,” she says seriously as she shakes her head. “And things like that – they come full circle,” she rotates a finger in the air, “naturally.”

[thewreckkelly]

Brendan Behan, Nurses & Invalids 

In the course of discourse last Wednesday - it being here on the temperate southern coast of Espanola – the sun held court in a clear sky, the mood was light, the topics tidy and tame allowing high quality / low cost coffee, cervezas and vino to flow  unabated until the tolling metaphorical bell of COVID curfew sounded.

The party was within the legal limit of six and composed in the comfort of those who have an affinity for such a gathering along with an obligation to participate in argument, debate and shared laughter.

An enquiry was forwarded concerning long playing records or albums or CD’s or downloads – depending on one’s vintage and use of expression – which had made a personal impact beyond the moment, or even the era, and continued to colour thinking to the extent of influence ...... in simpler terms; ‘what are your top five albums of all time girls and boys?’

Despite generally having serious objections, (unvoiced on this particular occasion), to limiting all or any artistic expressions I have heard and felt throughout my life to a list of favourites – not possible ... no .... definitely not possible – I accepted the premise of this parlour game and became a good listener as those around me were rapidly definitive in choice only to, equally rapidly – as they heard the selections of others – realise such a table was not as easy to compile as an order of drinks for the table we were being hosted at.

Brendan Behan once said that people come in two baskets; ‘Nurses & Invalids’, and that was never more apparent when listening to the voices and changing choices my fellow ‘pop pickers’ were visibly consumed by. I don’t know why I suddenly thought of this quote, but I do know this, it took me on a journey.

-o- 

Back when I was bordering on adolescent awareness, a friend of the family – a very accomplished fiddle player by the name of Tom Potts – came up to our house one Sunday evening to be recorded by my Dad.

It was a time in Ireland when traditional music was neither popular nor profitable and my old Man, (fancying himself as the Dublin George Martin looking for the next big thing), had cobbled together, in the front room, a recording set-up of an old Philips reel to reel, a solid state Sony amp, homemade speaker cabinets with highly magnetic cones attracted to feedback and a couple of battered mic’s he’d procured from a friend at the Olympia Theatre; ‘they’ll be grand Mattie, just a bit on the temperamental side, as you’d expect, given their age an all’.

With wires everywhere and pillows from every bedroom strategically placed to ‘baffle’, (whatever that meant), the whole thing became an exercise in endurance and excessive use of the vernacular – if we thought the annual ritual of putting lights on the Christmas tree was a trial, (in me Da’s frustration and bad temper), then we were in for a shocking reality that night.

Anyway .....

When the deed was done, the whole family was summoned to sit around the good table and take in a playback performance of the evening’s artistic industry. The tunes, to the best of my memory were ‘The Coolin’, ‘The Blackbird’ and ‘Saddle the Pony’.

Having just recently discovered David Bowie and The Velvet Underground I found the whole experience excruciating but, in the manner of beaten down social etiquette, made the appropriate gestures and noises of acclaim like the rest of the sheep comprising that limited audience.

As Tom was leaving, flushed and fulfilled in the role of recorded artist, he interrupted the farewells and asked for a minute while he got something out of his car. Returning he handed an LP to my Dad with the sentiment;

‘This is the sort of rubbish we’re up against Mattie, have a listen if you can bear it’ 

The album was not new – I later learned it was fifteen years or so old – and my Dad for no apparent reason did not feel inclined to share anything about it once he’d glanced at the title and artist, instead of which he tucked it under his arm and disappeared back to his ‘recording’ studio.

I asked my Mam later and she cautiously explained; ‘Daddy was going to listen to it first to make sure it was all right’.  

Curiosity being immediately piqued I countered with the obvious; ‘Why?’ 

‘Because the man who is on the record is someone your Daddy doesn’t trust to be heard by children’ 

As a 14/15 year old I didn’t consider myself a child and of course I was immediately on a mission.

-o- 

So here I was, being a touch mesmerised by my Spanish cafe society, congregated on a terrace of a small cafe on the border of Fuengirola, each and every soul enunciating well remembered classic albums with over-zealous eulogy and gentle critique in unequal measure – while all the while my head was back in the good room of the house I grew up in, remembering seizing the first opportunity to be alone into the evening to listen surreptitiously on BOSE headphones to the recordings of a man my Dad doubted as an artist and influencer.

And amid all the noise of luminaries from Mozart to The Beatles - along with everyone else, that deserve listing, being thrown in for good measure and reason – I was honestly lost to the surrounding conversation as I replayed in my distracted mind what I could remember from back then of - what is essentially - a drunken ramble in the unique voice of a Dublin, (and Dubliner), on the cusp of being changed and lost for better or worse.

-o- 

The record was produced in 1959 by a fella with the grand name of; Arthur Luce Klein and recorded by a less exotically titled engineer; Peter Hunt. The artist is Brendan Behan and there are, in total, fourteen songs, (or bits of songs anyway),  performed a-capella with a peppering of satirical and self absorbed comedic explanation and bar-room philosophy included for God only knows why - not the hint of a played instrument throughout.

-o- 

I made no mention of such a pleasurable guilty choice to my fellow reflectors as they collectively selected the great and good formally recorded released music has to offer – it just wasn’t the time nor the place.

However, I made it my mission, (again), to find this displaced memory online

And so it was I found myself, (once again), sitting alone later that evening in shades of long time past, listening and reflecting and never once wondering why something so acquired works as a Top Number Something for me – and sure isn’t that the precise point of these things?

[s-trawberryv-eins]

Home Is Where the Heart Is

NOT MY GIF

Summary: the team learn more about their newest member after realising they don’t know an awful lot

Warnings: light mentions of injury, mentions of abandonment, mentions of death, implication of smut, but all very light and PG13

Please read here before reading!

Stark!OC x Avengers

Word count: 1330

The Caroline Stark Series Masterlist

AVENGERS COMMON ROOM

“Where’d you get that scar?” Clint poked at Caroline’s elbow, a blank expression on his face as he inquired.

“Huh?” Glancing down to where Barton’s finger was directed, the words registered in her mind. “Oh. Fell off my bike when I was 10.”

“Tony didn’t have you covered in bubble-wrap?” The comment was satire, but she answered all the same.

“Nah, he wasn’t around all that much back then. I was at boarding school.”

“Where?”

“Malibu.”

A few murmurs of acknowledgement sounded throughout the room. Thor and Banner were currently away, Thor having invited Banner to spend some time with the Guardians. It was getting late, but the rest of the team were bundled up in comfy clothes and blankets, scattered around the living room on the ridiculously large sofas enjoying the peace and each other’s company.

“It’s weird,” Cap spoke up, his gaze moving away from his kindle to the Stark girl “we don’t actually know that much about you.”

“I don’t think you know much about each other, Cap.”

“More than you’d think.”

Half nodding-half shrugging in response, Stark shovelled another spoonful of lucky charms into her mouth.

“Okay. What do you wanna know?” As if she’d offered them her inheritance, the team moved from their spots around the living room to sit at her feet quicker than she could blink.

“First kiss?”

“Tony’s deepest secrets?”

“YOUR deepest secret!”

“Who’d you lose your virginity to?”

“Best friend? Before us, anyway.”

“More cool scar stories.”

The questions came quicker than she could expect, and her eyes widened as she heard some of the ones that filtered through.

“Woah! Slow down!” Placing her empty cereal bowl on the coffee table next to her, the doctor decided which to answer first.

“First off, Sam, I’m not telling you my bra size. Second off, no talk of deepest secrets.” A unanimous groan of disappointment echoed throughout the room.

“First kiss; I was 12, a boy called Sebastian. I’ve plenty of other scars, my father was Tony Stark for god’s sake. Pick one and I’ll tell you about it. Lost my v card when I was 16 to my then boyfriend, Stefan.” “Was he cute?”

“He was. Even cuter now. I think of him often.” It seemed that only Sam and Natasha picked up on what she was implying, their laughter filling the space.

“Interesting. Have you ever broken a bone?” It didn’t need specifying that Rogers meant outside of work, as they’d all suffered plenty of boring work-related injuries.

“Yes! I broke my collarbone on a trampoline, and I broke my arm falling down the stairs. I was living with Tony then though, so they were kinda non-issues. I fractured my wrist when I was young though; that one never really healed properly cos I didn’t go to the hospital. Oh, and my best friend was a girl named Amelie!”

“Was?”

“Yeah. I uh-“ frowning a little, Caroline recalled the day she learned of her friends fate. “She died when the snap happened. She was in the car with her mom and her mom got dusted. The car crashed; she didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry, Care. That’s awful.” Several others offered their condolences, but she just smiled sadly. It was hard to talk about, and she thought of Amelie every day, but she’d worked through her grief.

“Wait, how old were you when you went to live with your dad and Pepper?” It was Bucky’s turn to ask a question now, although it seemed to be taking a turn. Caroline didn’t mind telling the team what happened; they were her family, after all. But it wasn’t easy to talk about the fact that her biological mother disowned her, gave her up for whatever life she was living now.

Pepper knew everything that had happened before Caroline came to them. The matriarch was clever in her methods, as she knew 7-year-old Caroline wouldn’t exactly be willing to open up to a stranger. So, Pepper was patient, always watching and listening as the girl settled in for any clue as to why she’d been sent to them. Eventually Pepper put two and two together. Tony knew enough but blamed himself for is daughters suffering. She’d always insisted that this was ridiculous as he didn’t even know she existed back then. Not that that helped.

“I was 7 when my birth mother dropped me off at dads. Haven’t seen her since.” The silence that followed was uncomfortable to say the least. Everybody wanted to ask the same question, but ironically none of the superheroes felt brave enough.

But then Bucky stood up from his seat and walked over to the sofa that Caroline and Clint had spread themselves out on. Picking up her feet, he sat down next to her and dropped them in his lap.

“Why’d she give you up, doll?” The others were silently grateful for his asking, and they all got comfortable around each other, politely staying quiet in waiting.

“She uh-“ Caroline sucked in a breath before continuing, eyes widening briefly “-she never really liked being a mom. I knew that even back then. I’m not sure why she never told Tony. Doesn’t make a lot of sense. Anyways, she was always off with one boyfriend or another. She’d go on these trips a lot and leave me behind, the neighbours checking in every now and again.”

Natasha had taken to braiding Wanda’s hair, Clint and Sam were lounging lazily around each other at the other end of the sofa. Steve stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorway with concern in his eyes.

“She didn’t like me a whole lot. Nothing happened or anything. Maybe a sort of…mild neglect?” Chucking humorlessly, Caroline was surprised to find herself getting a little upset. Albeit, this was the first time she’d talked about it.

“Care-“

“I’m fine, I’m okay.” Her voice was soft, timid, but she carried on all the same. “One day, she just snapped. I got upset because she was leaving again, so she told me to go and pack a bag. I thought she was taking me with her. But then we got in the car and she handed me this envelope containing my passport, some photos, and a letter. Told me to give it to mom or dad, whoever I saw first. She’d obviously had it planned for a while; she pulled that envelope out of nowhere.” Dragging a hand through her knotted brown locks, she got lost in her thoughts. The doctor had spent years wondering why her mother couldn’t stand her. Eventually she’d fallen in so well with Pepper and Tony that she stopped thinking about it.

“Anyways, she drove me to the house and walked me up to the door. But she was gone out the driveway before Pepper even opened the door.”

Silence resumed, settling in between them softly. As she looked around at her friends, a tear fell hastily down her cheek. She’d hoped to catch it before they noticed, but she couldn’t.

“Wanda, could you make us some tea?” Bucky asked the brunette softly, who was on her feet with an instant, Clint behind her with a helping hand. Steve reached for the remote, a film now playing in the background to try and ease the changed atmosphere, and Sam was ordering desserts from a local takeaway joint despite it being almost 11 pm, and everyone having already eaten.

“Hey, I’m okay, really. I’ve never talked about any of it, that’s all. I’m okay.” Caroline worked to reassure her friends who worked so wonderfully to comfort her. “I’m happy. I’m home.”

-

After smiles and reassurances were exchanged, the room settled back down. Caroline nestled a little closer to Bucky, and the others crammed around them on the sofa with hot cookie dough and milkshakes, courtesy of Sam (although she’d later learned that Sam had used her credit card).

“Just out of curiosity, is Stefan on Instagram?” Wanda blushed as she spoke but smiled widely at the laughter her comment received. As it turned out, everyone understood Caroline’s implication.

TAGS: @hailqueenconquer

[heypflo]

Album Review: Short Sighted People In Power: A Home Recording- My Politic

I am hungover. Not like...in the sit down in the shower way, though. I am writing this just days after watching the hopeless horror show that was our first Presidential debate of 2020, and just a few hours after watching the Vice-Presidential Debate. I am emotionally dehydrated. Thankfully, My Politic’s latest effort, “Short Sighted People In Power: A Home Recording '' is serving as my intellectual Pedialyte. This raw, unfussy collection of songs wades through the View-Master of the current American consciousness and I think it’s safe to say that most people feel concussed in two very different ways right now. The point of Kaston Guffey and Nick Pankey’s latest release is not to convince the listener of anything, but rather to put antiquated and learned ways of thinking next to facts and have them duke it out. It takes the overused rebuttal of “yA gOtTa sEe iT fRoM bOtH SidEs” to its most literal level and, well, it is as uncomfortable as it should be.

The title track puts music to all the things that bounce around in your head before you lift your head off the pillow. “Short Sighted People In Power” morosely lists the “bigger than me” bullet points of anxiety that coyly creep over one’s shoulder; all those annoying flashbulb headlines that run on a constant loop in the ticker of your brain.  No matter who you are, those weary inner voices are louder now more than ever. Earth’s environmental ticking clock, the ageless, nationwide opioid crisis, the pockets that have been stuffed because of it, and, ultimately, the devastating wake of greed are all on display here. It’s a blunt brick to the head. Am I supposed to feel hope or the lack of it from the line “It’s gonna take every one of us to get what we want”? I haven’t decided yet.

One of the most compelling things about this album is that it plays like a conversation at the dinner table. It’s Thanksgiving. There you are, surrounded by your family and all the strings that both bind and divide you. You and your cousin in the “Feel the Bern” shirt keep exchanging glances at each other as the temperature of the room rises. If the previous track was the hushed, corner mouthed conversation you had with each other before dinner, “Wrong Side” is the one shouted from across the table at a horrified Grandpa Rick and drunk Aunt Sharon. It’s a hailstorm of a chorus that cries, “Fuck the President. Fuck the GOP. Fuck the folks at Fox News spreading lies on TV. Fuck you for getting us into this and refusing to see. It ain’t no side. It’s one side. It’s your side and it’s the wrong side.” The rotating solo at the end of the track perfectly encapsulates the cyclical nature of conversations like this. It’s hard not to feel like a hamster in a wheel of our collective frustration right now. Nothing seems to ever get done, but we are worn the fuck out.

As the conversation continues, Rick and Sharon get their time, too. Told from the perspective of someone who prefers their hats red and their presidents orange, “Fantasies of a Fox News Viewer” is perhaps the rawest and most uncomfortable song on the entire album. It’s every baseless argument you’ve ever heard in all its glory, lacking all logic and overstuffed with emotion. Xenophobia, white nationalism, homophobia, blind Biblical trust, and just straight up, cold-blooded fear are Pollacked all over the dinner table and you’ve completely lost your appetite. (Whew. I really need to get out from under this Thanksgiving metaphor, folks). The thing that struck me the most about this song was my inability to stop my head from bobbing to its anthemic chorus. It proudly chugs along and would pair very nicely with a drink of choice being held high above my head. I don’t even recognize what I’m saying when I sing to myself, “Yeah, I miss America the way it used to be. When I turned on my TV all I saw was people just like me.” I stop singing for fear that my neighbor or my dog may think that I *actually* believe the words I’m saying. But, isn’t that so indicative of how the web gets spun so easily? When information gets dressed in the gown of performative politics, reality distorts. Sarcasm is lost, truth is lost, context is a bug to squish and you’ve decided how you feel about something based solely on how someone else is telling you to.

As the funhouse mirror stretches on, “Voter Suppression” welcomes us deeper into the Conservative Carnival. The whispered countdown ushering in the listener sounds as if the narrator is hatching a plot. It’s both sinister and tantalizing, two classic ingredients for manipulation pie. This song could be invited to hang out with the satirical company of South Park and Saturday Night Live (on its good nights) and more than hold its own. I can’t help but picture Trump, McConnell, Pence, and Barr in little ill-fitting barbershop quartet outfits, cigars flopping out of their mouths, singing this while bouncing around a fake saloon in the middle of Silver Dollar City. However, “Voter Suppression” doesn’t lean on cartoonish exaggerations of the truth to get its message across. One person’s satire can very easily be taken as another person’s doctrine. After all, the best and smartest comedy is rooted in life’s uncomfortable truths.

I think we can all agree that the one constant of this year has been the unveiling of a lot of those aforementioned uncomfortable truths. In “All American Way”, the narrator, in two minutes, lists over thirty examples of absurd and very real reasons why Black people have been targeted by the police. The track opens with, “Can’t go jogging. Can’t go walking. Can’t watch TV in their own fffffuckin’ apartment.” (That isn’t a typo. Listen to it and you’ll see what I mean). Each verse is more hurried and breathless than the last and you can practically smell the smoke coming from the pencil marks on the paper when it was written. As each example rolls on, a new name scrolls across your mind’s eye. “Can’t get caught with a broken tail light (Sandra Bland). “Can’t get caught selling loose cigarettes” (Eric Garner) “Can’t get caught playing with toys” (Tamir Rice). Then, we turn to the names we wish we never learned at all and ones I refuse to type here. “They can shoot up Black churches. They can shoot up the schools… White folks can shoot ‘till they’re blue in the face and you can bet they’ll walk away. It’s the All American way.” That last line is sung like a salute. Hand over heart, chin in the air, hat off the head. And most likely, someone out there doesn’t understand why that’s disturbing.

Track 6,  “The Experts Told Us”, sounds like how we all felt about a month or two into quarantine, or as the song says, “when we traded hope for darkness.” Knowing what we do now about the president’s negligent withholding of information about COVID-19 and the impact it was going to have on every aspect of American life, this song sits heavy on the mind and heavy on the chest. “The experts told us. The science showed us. But the ego of the POTUS was too big to fight off again.” The sleepy harmonica woven through the last half of it is forlorn and exhausted. It sighs in and out at the bleakness of it all like it’s sitting in the driveway with the engine off; at the house, but far from home.

The wit of Prine, the gusto of Cash, the fire of Guthrie, among others, are peppered seamlessly throughout this album.  But make no mistake; My Politic’s voice is all their own. Nowhere is that more evident than on the closing track, “Talkin’ RNC Blues.” Here, the listener is taken on an anxiety and alcohol-induced fever dream that plops the narrator right in the middle of this year’s Republican National Convention. It plays like a comic book; vivid and distorted. I wish I could hear this for the first time again so I won’t ruin anything for you, but be prepared for some well timed laughs to lift you out of the funk, even for just a moment.

Through the inexplicable fog, we forge on to another day of 2020. But we shouldn’t keep acting like this is some kind of “cursed” year that we just need to get through. To suggest that the problem is the year on the calendar and the solution is the page after December would be flippant, to say the least. Despite all of it, meaningful art and the fearless depths it dares to go will always rise above the silence and drown out the static. My Politic’s “Short Sighted People In Power: A Home Recording” is now available exclusively on Bandcamp and is set for a wide release on all streaming platforms this Friday, 10/30. Just in time for you to play it over Thanksgiving dinner….or not.

[ptersparkers]

your old man’s scared of nothing (the adventures of y/n stark)

summary: the avengers are giving a rare day-off and they decide to watch a film. unbeknownst to y/n, someone who hates horror films, sam decides to pick that genre. let’s just say he’s not on the nice list.

a/n: hi sweet pea, thank you for this request! i love, love, love anything avengers + fluff.

warnings: fluff, a swear word, mentions of anxiety, and the conjuring (i don’t go into detail because i’ve never seen it).

masterlist / taglist

Perhaps you should’ve just stayed in your bedroom where everything was safe and nothing made you jittery. The living room suddenly seemed too small, the lightbulbs underneath the lamps looked like some science fiction masterpiece, and the bright screen shining in the dark room depicted images that you’d rather not think about.

It was a Thursday in the summertime and, for once, the Avengers has absolutely nothing better to do with their free time other than to lounge around and take advantage of Fury telling them to relax.

You didn’t know much, but you knew you loved days like such. Everyone seemed to forget the bad in the world and everyone seemed to grow loose when it came to hanging around one another outside of combat and training. It was nice.

Except, you didn’t like that you had to watch a scary film despite waning nothing more than to crawl in your room and watch YouTube videos until your eyes grew tired.

It was your turn to pick a film last time (you didn’t watch a film but three of John Mulaney’s stand up comedies straight) and Sam had the first pick this time around. He chose The Conjuring, and you swore you couldn’t hate anyone more than you hated Sam for the next couple of hours.

The night started innocently enough. At six, all the Avengers (minus Peter who was at Ned’s) ate Chinese take-out, courtesy of Tony’s oh-so generous wallet (Bucky stole his credit card). At seven, you helped Steve make the popcorn and made sure to load the popcorn cart (Natasha bought one as a joke but you found it pretty handy) with extra kernels, butter, and any other flavoring you had in the kitchen.

At seven thirty, Wanda put a bunch of drinks on the coffee table in between the television and the couches. There was soft drinks, waters, and lemonades. Your one proposed rule (much to the dismay of others) was absolutely no alcohol because if you weren’t allowed to drink it, they weren’t either.

(But that didn’t stop Clint from sneaking a flask in from time to time. You knew but didn’t say anything.)

At eight o’clock, you relinquished your film-picking duty to Sam and you were almost positive he would pick a feel-good comedy that was riddled with corny jokes, action, and cheesy pick-up lines.

Oh boy, were you wrong.

Natasha sat in the love seat alone while Clint and Bucky sat in work chairs they hauled from Tony’s extra office. Sam, Rhodey, and Bruce sat on one of the large couches while you, Tony, and Steve sat on the other. Wanda and Vision were off to the side.

The large screen in front of you scared you half to death and you were almost positive Steve noticed. You sat in between him and Tony with Steve to the right, and you had unknowingly flinched to your right side whenever something on the screen startled you. It was your natural reflex to curl to the right and you were sure Steve was making sure you weren’t scared to death.

When the film ended, everyone couldn’t stop talking about how great the film was and how great it was to relax and unwind. You thought after all you’d seen in real life that this film would be a piece of cake, but that was far from the truth.

Everyone bade one another a good night and you walked to your room alone and turned the light on immediately. You scanned your room for anything suspicious, knowing that you were being ridiculous. When there was nothing in your closet or under your bed, you sighed gratefully and turned your light off before running across the wooden floor and jumping underneath the covers.

Your skin crawled at the mere thought of something walking around you. It wasn’t real, you knew that, but your imagination ran absolutely wild and there was no sleep in the near future for you.

Pushing the covers off of yourself, you slipping a pair of socks on and padded your way to your father’s bedroom. You were happy that Pepper was gone until Saturday and unapologetically knocked on Tony’s door, figuring he’d be awake.

“Dad?” you asked tentatively from behind the door. You could hear him walk towards you and watched as he opened.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Do you, um, think I could stay with you for the night?”

Tony gave you a funny look. “Don’t tell me you were scared by the film.”

“I can’t, because that would be a lie.”

Upon noticing your timid figure, Tony didn’t say another word but smiled and gestured you to walk in. You sighed in relief and got over how embarrassed you felt that you needed your father at this age, but you wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to spent time with him.

“I know it’s dumb,” you said as Tony otter the space next to him. You spoke as you pulled yourself underneath the covers. “I see all this horror and shock all the time with your line of work but that film was on another level. I literally feel like my ankles are going to fall off.”

Tony chuckled. “Your old man’s scared of nothing. But you have a valid point and your ankles are definitely not falling off any time soon.”

“Do you think we could watch cartoons or something? Like American Dad, or something. I need some political satire and family humor in my life.”

Tony smiled and turned the TV on, opening Hulu to put on your requested show.

“You doing good lately? We haven’t had time to catch up after I got back from Nicaragua last weekend.”

You nodded. “Yeah. MJ came over and we cooked everyone breakfast on Tuesday. Peter fell into the pool after Sam was chasing him with a water gun, which was hilarious and I regret not filming it.”

“That was nice of her,” Tony commented. “I like that kid. Very perceptive.”

“She could smell a lie from a mile away. Kind of like you, but more brooding.”

“No one could out-brood me,” Tony said. “Maybe Steve when I’m not paying attention in debriefings, but even that’s a maybe.”

You chuckled. “Okay, whatever you say. Pepper finished the gigantic pile of paperwork from last month and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so relaxed in my entire life.”

“Pepper? Relaxed? That must be new!” Tony joked. “She deserves a break. And how have you been holding up?”

“Hm. Well, I’ve been going to bed earlier and that helps with my anxiety a little. I wake up earlier and I feel good about the day, which is something I’ve been hoping to get to. I think therapy’s really helping.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Tony said with shining eyes.

“I love you.”

“Unrelated, but did Vision draw a dick on Peter’s face?”

***

Taglist:

@kath94210 @sessi03 @olliekookie @edgyhargreeves @simonsbluee @meraki--me @sleep-i-ness @amourski @zaynjawy @captainlarsonn @katiemcrae @holyhellthatbook @madeismyname @bands-and-shietz @janndishstuff17 @knightofreaders @rororo06 @unfortunateshelby.

[simpsonsnight]

Episode #162

WHAT THIS?

El Viaje de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer) Season 8 - Episode 9 | January 5, 1997 Oh wow very fun! This is two heavy hitters in a row. This is another all-time classic spoof about how coyotes are the scoundrels of the earth. A satiric treatise that proves once and for all that they are not actually dogs, but something else. The coyote is voiced by I think Brooks and Dunn? It’s Brooks and Dunn, right? Yeah, I think that’s right. Homer eats a big hot pepper that makes him go nuts and he hallucinates that he isn’t actually Marge’s husband, I think. And then he goes around looking for his soul mate. He calls a gay guy. Wow! I always loved the line “sure, give me the one with all the monsters on it”. I hope you know the context, because I’m not explaining it. Also the ending has two connections to Homer the Heretic: Marge describes Homer’s affinity for the blinking light on the waffle iron (he uses the waffle iron in that ep!!!!) and the show ends with the short shorts song, like Homer does when he briefly spoofs Risky Business as part of his morning routine. This one rocks... NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THE B-SODE:

Cowboy Bebop: “Mushroom Samba” Episode 17 | February 20, 1999 Okay, so I’m watching this. I really haven’t watched much Cowboy Beebop at all. I was strongly anti-anime in 2001 when it premiered on Adult Swim. I am at work and didn’t even get to the hallucination parts. Hopefully I do. If I don’t, I’m sorry, it’s because I got the ching chong china coronavirus and died. SORRY!!!!! EDIT: Okay I did watch it and I liked it but there weren’t any space coyotes so I don’t feel like blogging about it SORRY

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don���t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

[gothparker]

In that moment, the sky broke open, just a bit. The sun's rays dusted over Peter’s pale cheeks, surreptitiously at first, then all at once as they started to illuminate his irises as the light bled deeply into the darkness of his eyes. The bicolored brown was so stark against each other, reminding Tony of Peter’s own duality with his head and his heart. He wasn’t sure which the darker color represented out of the two.

———

With some mild convincing, Peter had managed to drag Tony away from his work to go into the park with him. The boy had mentioned that there was this special place within the public area that was somehow secret. It was his plot of land, and his alone. Tony of course didn’t believe him, but naturally, he humored Peter.

“It’s like- it’s like!” Peter flailed his arms a little in excitement. “That old book, The Secret Garden! Have you ever read that? I had to read it in eight grade. I thought it was really cool. It reminded me of when I used to collect rolly pollie’s and eat them like tic tacs while digging holes in the ground with a coffee spoon.”

“Peter, that is disgusting.”

The boy huffed, then pouted as Tony snorted in amusement.

It was a dark day as the clouds were tight knit, keeping the rain at bay before the pressure swelled up too much within their heavy chests. It flowed past their gullets like tears dripping off a chin, over and over, again and again until its slow stop. As long as there was a sky, it would rain. As long as there was sadness, there were tears to be shed. That’s just the natural order of things. An order Peter memorized by heart in his early life

“I needed a day out, honestly. I’ve been thinking about some things.”

“Oooh what things?”

Tony inhaled deeply through his nose before he replied.

“It’s nothing, honestly.”

Somehow, that satisfied the boy as he grabbed Tony’s wrist and dragged him to the outskirts of the park where very few people ventured. He led him past some brush and brambles, through a rusty gate and onto a worn out path.

“You...have your tetanus shot...right…”

“Ummm, maybe as a baby. I’m not sure. I dunno if I was ever vaccinated as a kid.” Peter muttered, uninterested as he led a dumbfounded Tony onwards.

“Tetanus means-”

“Ohh, lockjaw! Yeah, yeah, the man online that looks like he’s flexing? He doesn’t have a penis. Haha.”

“What on earth are you talking about. What have you been looking at? What man?”

Peter somehow didn’t hear him, he was mumbling to himself as there was a fork in the road.

“I think it’s this way.” He muttered, squinting his eyes.

“You come out here often, how are you possibly lo- Peter. Are we lost.”

“Umm...”

“Peter?”

“No! We’re fine...”

The boy gnawed gently on his bottom lip before he chose a path, leading the man on as he giggled. Tony wasn’t annoyed, god, he could never be annoyed with the kid.

Concerned? Yes. Irritated, no.

His thoughts were cut off as Peter bounced in placed, a large grin on his face.

“We’re here!” He looked like an excited puppy as he trotted off to an old gazebo, Tony meandering behind him as he looked around.

“Cool, right?” Petter paced around Tony in circles as the man stood in place.

“Yes, very.” He smiled, peering around the wooden structure as he stepped inside.

Tony stilled suddenly, ceasing his movements as he stumbled upon a patch of violets flowing from the natures debris, intertwined with the fencing. Spur of the moment, the older man picked off a couple, which puzzled Peter until he turned to him.

“Here.” He mumbled, dotting flowers across Peter’s hair as he threaded them through the softness.

It took a couple moments before he was content, and when he was, he stepped back a little to look over his work.

“Beautiful.”

Tony looked so proud of himself as he smirked, gazing lovingly over his piece of art that he haphazardly created out of something equally breathtaking as the boy in front of him.

“Oh, that’s lovely.” Peter commented quietly, a tiny smile on his pretty face.

“Like you.”

Tony’s heart stopped as the compliment slipped from his twisted tongue, but the boy didn’t seem to find the words disturbing.

The younger of the two blushed, color spreading across his soft cheeks as he breathed a breathy laugh.

“Really, though?”

“Really.”

Peter pouted softly in a teasing manner, a satirical indicator that he didn’t believe him.

“My turn!”

Peter tentatively plucked the violets next to them, delicately placing them around Tony’s salt and pepper hair as he smiled warmly, tip toeing in front of the man. He seemed to be having fun as he threaded marvelous flowers into his canvas.

Tony just looked at him, a little blown away at how beautiful Peter looked when he was like this. How his eyes lit up when he was around the genius, his toothy smile when they were together, his body language that Tony found so homely. It was all a lot to take in at once.

“Almost done.” Peter said in a soft voice, his higher pitch sounding so lovely to the other.

“Aha, how do you like it?” Tony smiled at him as the boy stepped back, gently bouncing in place a bit.

“Wonderful.” Peter bit his bottom lip before it spread into a smile, his hands coming up in a praying motion as the tips of his fingers delicately pressed against his lips

In that moment, the sky broke open, just a bit. The sun's rays dusted over Peter’s pale cheeks, surreptitiously at first, then all at once as they started to illuminate his irises as the light bled deeply into the darkness of his eyes. The bicolored brown was so stark against each other, reminding Tony of Peter’s own duality with his head and his heart. He wasn’t sure which the darker color represented out of the two.

The soft amber reminded the older man of moths waltzing around the lamp lights at night. All while the gentle giants in the sky fed off a supple and simple diet of stars and navy moonlight at the sound of passing cars early in the foggy mornings.

Peter’s sadness sewed his eyes shut and shoved cotton into his ears, pouring hot wax across his lips as it dared him to cry out in pain towards the others around him, encouraging him to lash out blindly amongst his peers. But here, here he was calm, soft, loving, a gentle tide in his own sea which seemed to be storm heavy more often than he’d like to admit.

A hurricane can’t run from its own rain, and it can’t be controlled or withheld before its time. Tony knew that, and so did Peter.

However, the genius was built on the strongest and most brutal of bedrock. The pesky grains of grit that weighed his inner doubts down had been swept away previously by his boy’s oncoming winds that came with needs and pleading. He had to be strong, so he was. He moved his roots deeper, past the soil and dirt, the soft footing and sand. Tony went deep, until he reached the heart of the earth that refused to be covered in weeds.

It was strong, and it was hot, yet it appears dark. You know the heart exists, you can’t see it, but you feel it. You feel it pulse in your head from pain, you feel it ache in your chest from heartbreak, you feel it in shockwaves down to your lungs out of repressed loved, and you feel it ripping open your gut and letting the fear stumble out like a newborn calf.

The earth graces us with her colors as our insides grace her with ours, vultures picking and prying into the carcass past our crushed ribs. We return to the earth, whether you value the weight of your life or not.

And here, their outsides were dazzled with colors that were represented while worn through their hair as their cheeks were flushed and their eyes hazy with love.

“God.” Tony breathed, looking over Peter’s face as he felt his heart hammer inside of him. “You are truly, truly heaven sent.”

He stepped closer to the other, who in return stepped closer to him.

“What did you need to think about?” Peter whispered, gazing at Tony through half lidded eyes. “Why did you come with me?” He searched his face for something that would satiate his need for an answer.

“Because I…” Tony placed his hands on Peter’s hips, gently pulling him closer as they both felt like they were in a trance.

“I just…”

“Yes?”

“I think...I think I’m in love with you.”

Peter’s breath hitched softly, his hands coming up to rest on Tony’s chest.

“Do you think?” He murmured softly. “Or do you know?”

Tony rested his forehead against Peter’s, who closed his eyes and exhaled shakily.

“I know.”

“Then show me.” He whispered.

Tony’s soft lips gently pressed onto Peter’s for a long moment, a hand coming up from his hip to Peter’s cheek as he cupped his face, bringing him up closer to his own. He kissed him tenderly, taking his time as the boy’s hands came up to rest on Tony’s shoulders.

The older man pulled away slowly after a long moment, exhaling gently as he opened his eyes.

“How do you feel?” He asked quietly, too dazed to ask deep questions at the moment, so he asked the most blatant.

His head felt like it was flooding with serotonin, it sloshed out of his skull and ran down his cheeks in the form of tears that he had to consciously fight back. Tony looked down at Peter, who still had his eyes closed, a small smile ghosting over him.

He felt like he had severed his tongue and separated his sternum from his chest.

“I don’t- I don’t know what to say, and my insides feel funny.” Peter murmured, his hand coming up to his own chest. “But it...feels...good.”

“That’s good?” Tony laughed in a breathy tone as his eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s good.”

The man inhaled softly, then exhaled loudly as he closed his eyes in contentment. He buried his face into Peter’s shoulder as Tony held him close.

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony made a faint noise of acknowledgement.

“I...I really, really just…”

Peter exhaled shakily.

“I don’t reach out for help because I hate these hands. But I really...really need you. I need you. I-...love you.” He mumbled before swallowing.

“I’m just so scared I’ll hurt you.” He breathed, Tony could feel his frame tremble slightly.

“You would never do that.” The older man raised his head to look Peter in the face. He cupped his cheeks as he rested his forehead against the others.

“You would never.”

Peter wanted to slay Tony’s beast, but he found out it lives inside of him. The boy wanted to tear up his stem once he found out he was only a weed.

“I am so scared of hurting you.” The boy’s voice shook slightly as he gripped Tony tightly.

“You would never, you could never.”

Peter pulled his face away slightly, his eyes brimming with salt water that was about to gush down his flushed cheeks.

“The day I stop loving you is the day fire says “enough wood”. You are so lovely to me, how did the world come up with someone so perfect?” He kissed Peter gently for a moment.

“I never want to let you down.” Peter’s thumbs rubbed soft circles on the older man’s cheeks.

“You have my heart in your hands, you have it all. Please be gentle with it.”

“You have my word.” He whispered before pressing his lips back on Tony’s.

“Then we have nothing to worry about.”

They both smiled, foreheads resting on each other’s as they held hands. Tony whispering sweet nothings as he kissed over Peter’s face for the rest of the afternoon, his place now their place, together.