#witcher smell headcanon

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Witcher Senses: Smell

Jaskier knows a great many things about Witchers, many of which are common knowledge, like their enhanced vision, strength, etc. Some are known only to him. For example, he is probably the only human being that knows Witchers pur, and like chin/cheek skritches. And catnip makes their pupils dilate and makes them see gods.

Jaskier doesn't count those as enhancements, they are more like bonus features.

Jaskier knows Geralt's sense of smell, like his hearing, is likewise far better than a human's.

Geralt can tell where he's been just by the scents he's picked up while on his outings in town.

Geralt: You're late. Stopped at Vespula's on the way back, didn't you?

Jaskier: *stammering, sputtering*

Geralt: You smell like laundry soap and hanky-panky

Jaskier: *offended bard noises*

He can tell when he is ill by his scent.

"You smell off."

"How rude!"

Geralt can tell what Jaskier got drunk off by the way his sweat smells as his body metabolizes the alcohol.

His nose is sensitive enough to pick up on Jaskier's moods by how his scent changes.

Having a sensitive sense of smell does have it's drawbacks. Strong smells are even more pungent. Smells like some of Jaskier's perfumes and scents. Sometimes the bard just uses way too much, or uses one that is just nauseating.

And of course, there's the embarrassing, uncontrollable reaction he has when he encounters an unfamiliar smell.

Jaskier got to see it for the first time one spring, and it was the funniest d*mn thing he'd seen in a while.

Jaskier met Geralt outside of Vengerberg. He'd hugged his companion, and was confused by Geralt's reaction.

Geralt: *smelling a new scent on Jaskier*

Geralt's brain: What's that smell? We haven't smelled that before. Time to analyze!

Geralt: *mouth open, upper lip raised*

Jaskier: What the f**k is that face?

Geralt: Hm! *awkward*

Sorry, I've just never seen you make that face before.

Geralt had given him The Look. The Look that meant he had just revealed something personal he had not wished to share, and that if Jaskier opened his mouth to ever mention it, he would be missing all his teeth.

"Is that a Geralt thing, or a Witcher thing?"

"Witcher" Geralt reluctantly grumbled, more embarrassed when he realized that he was sniffing Jaskier again.

Jaskier realized that Geralt was scenting the perfume he'd bought that morning at the market and decided to try out.

"It's my perfume." He supplied, " It's lavender and rosemary, with a little bergamot. It's not too strong, is it?"

"No. Just didn't recognize the scent combination..."

Jaskier hummed in understanding, promising that he would keep the secret of the Stink Face. He gleefully filed that information away. And Jaskier, being the little hellion is his, decides to find rare scent combinations to expose Geralt to.

For research purposes. Yeah. Purely for educational purposes.

It was hard to find smells that Geralt was unfamiliar with. He had lived a long time, and had a huge olfactory library of scents. He could tell monsters apart just from how their guts smelled.

Jaskier was going to have to try harder if he wanted to get Geralt to make what he'd dubbed the Stink Face again.

And he had to play it cool. Couldn't let the gloomy b**tard know what he was doing! Good thing Geralt was well aware of his love for fashionable toiletries!

Nothing to see here, folks, just a bard that loves his personal grooming items! Nothing suspicious going on here!

Jaskier begins visiting every market in every town they stop at, buying the latest toiletries, and trying them out in their rented room or at camp. Often times shoving the items under Geralt's nose to get his "opinion."

"Oh, that smells nice! Don't you think this smells nice, Geralt?"

Geralt: *Stink Face*

Jaskier *internally*: Haha, YES!

Jaskier *externally pretending not to have noticed*: What do you think?

Yes, it is a light, fresh scent! I agree!

*offended gasp* What do you mean "Not strong enough to cover up the stink of my ball sweat"?

That was uncalled for, Geralt!

Geralt had just 'hmmed' smuggly and turned to finish brushing Roach.

The next item Jaskier had purchased had been a new scent that even he'd never smelled. It was lavender, mixed with something called 'vanilla'.

Ooh, lavendar and vanilla! Let's see what that smells like!

Oh. Oh, wow. *cough* That's a bit strong!

Whew! It's really, just wafting right out!

Geralt, clear on the other side of the camp: *instant Stink Face*

"What the f**k-!" He'd snarled after his brain had cataloged the smell

"It's got 'vanilla' in it," Jaskier explained, noting the frown on Geralt's face, "it's some kind of bean from across the sea! It smells sweet, right?"

"It's f***ing strong!"

Jaskier, for some reason, was mildly offended at the comment, and quipped "Haha, yeah, I figured I needed something strong enough to cover up the stink of my ball sweat--!"

Geralt brandished the leather belt he used to tie up his bedroll, waving it threateningly.

Jaskier *grinning rakishly*: Ooh, are you threatening me with a good time?

Roach had made a sound that was suspiciously similar to a human chuckle, and Geralt had glowered at her.

Et tu, Roach?

He settles for slapping the bard on the back of the head.

Jaskier inadvertantly gets his revenge days later, and finds out another thing about Witchers. They hated citrus.

Geralt knows Jaskier has bought another bath product to try out when he comes up the stairs with the serving girls laden with the tub and buckets of hot water.

Geralt goes down to check on Roach while Jaskier bathes. When he comes back, ready to lie down and sleep, Jaskier is finished, and...

And the f**ker STINKS! It's got a very noticably citrus quality to it.

Jaskier: Geralt, what's wrong?

Geralt: *face twisting up*

Jaskier *trying not to laugh*: Er, Geralt?

Geralt: What the ever-loving f**k is that smell?

"It's the latest soap scent! It's orange blossom!

Geralt was not happy about the citrus scent. He hated the smell of citrus! And this little ar**hole had just bathed in the wretched stuff! The sweet smell of the vanilla couldn't keep the citrus tang from stinging his nostrils.

Geralt had opened the window, crawled into bed, and covered his nose with the blanket. He had to explain to the bard about Witchers hating citrus because it burned their sinuses.

Jaskier had had the decency to look ashamed, but even after profuse apologies had been made, Geralt had hissed at him and refused to allow him into the bed.

Jaskier ended up scrubbing himself down out in the laundry shed with hot water and plain, boring soap.

He was then subjected to a sniff test.

Jaskier: Did i get it all off?

Geralt,: *snuffling*

Jaskier: Do I pass?

"Hm." Geralt had grunted with a nod. "All i can smell is ball sweat."

*affronted bard noises*

[hanzajesthanza]

i gotchu

Regis naming a mule Dracul and telling the gang that its an untranslatable vampire joke

[hanzajesthanza]

everyone wants a relationship like yennefer and geralt, until you have to deal with the aftermath of your feral husband adventuring downstream and into the woods to avoid social obligations, chasing the local wildlife, and drinking river water

(i need suggestions on where to hide his swords, he has lost his blade privileges)

i don't suppose geralt travelled too far from yennefer's lap (or you know what else, lol - meaning, where the baby dragon stuck his head) when he was staying with her in vengerberg. she probably wouldn't let him in the house until he hosed down and agreed to eat all his meals with a fork and knife.

that is, until he caught the detrimental side of his mommy issues, and walked out on her

swords... they could go wherever they go... into a pocket dimension, maybe. but it's ineffective to take them from him, because he devolves into an anxious mess without: "i feel like a snail without its shell." (though that saying is strange. snails die if they are separated from their shells. well, maybe it's accurate in this case. what is a witcher without his swords? more often than not, a dead one).

ideally, he wouldn't need them.

i imagine geralt rising from his seat, upon hearing with his sharp ear yennefer from downstairs, in tense conversation with a husband of one of her clients, who is in the middle of hurling a tirade of abuse her way. geralt laces his bruising spiked gloves on, takes his sword, ties his headband, smiles nastily thinking he looks quite frightful, approaches the door, "i'll teach him a lesson."

by the time he reaches the stairs, a crack of electricity severs the air, emitting the scent of ozone. the satisfied-customer's dissatisfied-husband is already cowering, yammering an apology to the dignified, well-learned lady yennefer.

the witcher stands on the stairs. unties his hair, slowly walks back up to the bedroom... perhaps it's inappropriate to quote fringilla vigo here, as i'm talking about yennefer and geralt, but: "what are you trying to prove? your masculinity? i know better ways."

other thoughts on geralt's lifestyle shacked up in yennefer's house:

i have a headcanon that yennefer, finally speaking on geralt watching brush her hair with adoration, decides to comment (going something like this):

'What are you waiting for? Counting how many times I curse upon discovering split ends? Is my nightly routine really so special to you?' 'It is.' 'Is it? You're not a child. You know what a brush is. You even run one through your own hair. On occasion.' 'On occasion.'

it's her way of doing it which intrigues him. its her hands, her particularity, a foible of hers... wordlessly, she rises from the dressing table and sits on the bed, curling her bare legs in-between the eiderdown, resting her hands on his shoulders and beginning to brush his hair, gently, softly, caressing him...

i think that, (though i'm not at all saying that you were saying this, i'm just getting off-topic and commenting about a take ive seen floating around), the idea that yennefer "civilized" geralt and "taught him how to behave" is a slight misinterpretation, there's an emotional note to it. after all, geralt was not brutish before he lived with her, he dined with a queen, for god's sake. he was familiar with social rules, but just used to no one expecting them of him, caring if he smelled like his horse, because no one cared if he rode through the night, was cold, suffered. he never lived in a house, because he never was invited into one.

yennefer wished for domesticity of him, a home life. that was what she gave him, "more than she gave to any man" (bounds of reason). she gave that to him... out of love. that which he tired of, and hurt her in rejecting, then regretted it and came to wish for the same thing.

she showed him gentleness. like he showed her gentleness:

"... although neither quite knew what caring and tenderness were, they succeeded because they very much wanted to."

[g4ll0wd4nc3r]

school of the viper headcanons

these are not edited and probably not canon compliant but fuck it we ball

they can’t regulate their internal temperature as well as other witchers, so they have to soak up warmth from somewhere else. you’ll often see vipers curled up as close to their campfires as possible when traveling or taking a nap on a nice warm rock.

gorthur gvaed is filled with era-equivalent space heaters

an older viper some centuries back developed hand warmers. it’s a necessity when traveling.

vipers aren’t outwardly affectionate to each other. you’ll know if one trusts you if they offer to make your potions or food (i like you enough to not poison you) or if they turn their back to you

on the rare occasion that they are more affectionate, they will huddle for warmth or wrap around one another. they may also rub their heads/cheeks together, but not often.

on the whole, vipers are loyal and protective of one another, but have difficulty showing it. vipers on the path tend to avoid one another

building immunity to toxins started as soon as you were recruited. trainees (read; children) would be required to drink poison and identify toxic plants, often running the risk of getting severely ill or dying. older witchers were instructed to slip poison onto food or drinks too

you learned pretty quickly to either smell out whatever was on your food or be tough enough to ride it out

vipers will never eat food they haven’t seen prepared. they go hungry more often than not.

vipers who can get away with it conceal their status as a witcher. a lot of people have crossed paths with one and never known

someone made a hc that vipers will wear other schools’ medallions before an assassination and i love that

vipers are smaller than wolves or bears but more built than cats

the cats and vipers are sister schools. they hate each other and need each other. it’s very strange to see. toxic yuri

cats and vipers are known to trade or buy things off one another, with vipers being able to make quality potions and cats being able to procure harder to find ingredients. they also had similar training so on the rare occasion they work together, they mesh really well

however they will most likely attack one another when out in the wild — cats and vipers both take human jobs, and cats especially are known for poaching jobs that vipers may be interested in

a relatively new practice is “getting your teeth”. after a hard hunt, vipers will have a procedure to get retractable fangs in their mouth. they can load poisons and tear through pretty much anything at the cost of being extremely close combat. vipers without fangs are sometimes called “nibbles”.

maybe also split tongues. is that too quirky

best eyesight among all witchers, which makes it even funnier that vipers keep going blind/get eye trauma

like cats but opposite — their mutagens dulled their emotions to an extreme, so young vipers tend to be extremely blunt and rude. older vipers have learned to fake their emotions to “normal” levels, but will drop the mask as soon as they can

expect your viper to be extremely to the point. they expect the same of you. good luck!

cold and mean and weird about affection BUT. but. after ivar and the old guard died people started adopting animals that were left on the base of the mountains / on the path back for winter

gorthur gvaed is filled with animals that are so so loved and spoiled. it’s atonement for the animals that were killed during training and healing for the vipers that are left

vipers can usually whip up their potions and elixirs while on the road, but much prefer the fully outfitted alchemy labs at gorthur gvaed and *will* complain. loudly.

its not winter unless someone explodes something while experimenting

if an experiment goes particularly wrong it’s not unusual to see a viper face down on the floor. floor time. it’s like a reward

all vipers are fucking nerds. they have an extensive library (added on to after ivar’s death) and many of them learn additional skills (languages, math, other sciences, even music) when out on the path.

most horses don’t like vipers

that tweet that’s like i’m probably nonbinary but i have a job so i can’t worry abt that rn. yeah thats the whole school

[metalgearwitcher]

Lambert Smut Headcanons

can smell every hint of arousal on you, that's how he knew you were genuinely interested in him when you were flirting with him and not looking to sell him out to some unsavory characters as soon as he was in a vulnerable position ( a common occurrence for a witcher) when he starts seeing you more often you make a game of it to challenge him to find you by your scent when he finally does the clothes can't come off fast enough, " you smell so fucking good, I need to plough you now"; he says through hitched breaths afterword he can't tell your scent from his own

Lambert hates the cold, especially with how bone-chilling Kaer Morhen gets in the winter, you suggest cock warming easing his cock into you, a shaking utterance of "fuck" escapes him, feeling the warm squeeze of your body warming even the deepest chill in his bones "you're not getting me out of here easily" he pants between breaths, he started looking forward to winter storms after that

unashamedly loud in bed, encourages you to also be, seeing the shocked faces at the inn the next day is hardly a detraction ( for him it's an encouragement if people are going to see him as monstrous it might as well be for something he is proud of)

Lambert has a praise kink the size of the continent, he never admits this to you but once after a hard week when little praises escape your lips like "You fit so well in me" and "fuck im gonna feel you for days" , "Nobody makes me come like you" you'll never forget the sound the left him when he suddenly reached his climax

king of snark ( but we already knew that) expect a lot of "what a prick" "sure is impressive isn't it?" type innuendo in bed

despite his rough exterior, he knows he can't use all his strength with you unless you are a fellow witcher or a sorceress if he sometimes loses himself in the moment and you end up sore and achy from the encounter he is sure to get you water for a bath and heat it with Igni  and make you herb salves to soothe your pain, you laugh a bit as you see him scrambling to do everything to make comfortable, the other Witchers would never believe he makes such a good nurse

he`s not used to people sticking around or caring for him so he's not too big on aftercare at first but as you slowly get him used to post-coital cuddling and soft touches he can't get enough of it, its often the most relaxed you ever see him, the little hitches in his breath as you gently trace his scars when you both are more than exhausted from sex is everything

[stillness138]

for the character ask game: Vernon Roche

i gotta think about this! thank you

first impression: i actually remember this pretty well because witcher 2 was my first exposure to the franchise. i think i felt pretty much what i was supposed to feel though; "this guy imprisoned me but seems more sensible than the goons he employs". i liked his matter-of-fact but clearly proud and protective attitude towards Ves and his putting the key on the table and walking away like 'surely Geralt will manage'.

impression now: i still like him! surprisingly, cdpr writes original characters with really commendable nuance. of course, if Iorveth is to be believed word for word, Roche is responsible for carrying out hate crimes (he doesn't deny the accusations Iorveth makes, so i think that's just fact), and yet he shows time and time again that he really is more sensible than most. compare him to Rayla - also a special forces leader - and see the difference. Roche lacks the outright bloodthirst or really even the prejudice; it seems to me that he does his job and obeys Foltest without objection because he sees it as doing something worthwhile with his life, considering how he grew up. he and Iorveth contrast and parallel each other in fascinating ways.

favorite thing about him: his relationship towards Ves, because he clearly values her as an employee and as a person. his relative level-headedness. and the unpacked daddy issues that are most definitely there even if he won't talk about it. that part of him is sadly the most relatable to me. i also enjoy his humor, whether intentional or not. "emhyr var emreis, spice merchant" bursting into the elven baths while Triss is trying her hardest to seduce Geralt, fucking comedy gold.

least favorite thing about him: apart from the hate crimes? i think most of my issues that relate to him are metatextual - because the entire political landscape and plotline of witcher 3 sucks ass. maybe he could've held back the cops that beat Geralt though ngl.

favorite line/scene: "And we did. For three days. Then they smashed us into splinters." again, as much as i dislike the politics in witcher 3, this bit stands out to me. maybe also because it's punctuated by a reprise of the second game's main theme, in 3's instrumentation and a much more somber mood. good scene. that and the funny bits. "Some professional you are..."

favorite interaction he has with another character: it should be mainly credited to Letho's absolutely hilarious one-liner, but their little reunion at Kaer Morhen always gets a chuckle out of me. the entire interrogation at the beginning of witcher 2 is up there too.

a character that i wish he would interact with more: in the second game, elves in general. he mostly proves he's not completely shit-headed in context, but it would've been interesting to see him have a conversation with someone like Cedric. third game should've had Iorveth, we all know that.

another character from another fandom that reminds me of him: i know 5 things, but if i had to make a comparison... general Tullius from Skyrim? both are very capable and dedicated servants of a government despite its obvious failures and both show a noticeable sensibility or even calm you perhaps wouldn't expect. both have a badass lady as their right-hand person, too.

a headcanon about him: he hates the smell of cheap alcohol. childhood reminder. i also think he has a notable appreciation for architecture. can't remember if he actually comments on Loc Muinne in any way but somehow it feels like a thing he'd do. and i think it's pretty much canon that his hair color is towards light brown? or have i been living with fanon for far too long. either way, yeah, dirty blonde or warm light brown, super short on the sides.

a song that reminds of him: Shadowplay by Joy Division, in a way. first verse about beginning to serve Foltest, second verse about Foltest's and Temeria's fall. "but i could only stare in disbelief as the crowds all left" versus "and we did, for three days, then they smashed us into splinters".

an unpopular opinion about him: i famously dislike shipping him with Iorveth and i'm actually yet to see a good Roche ship. but the real hot take is that he doesn't need one. did i just say aroace Vernon Roche? maybe.

favorite picture: i'm sorry, but it's gotta be this one. on a more serious note, i always liked this piece of fanart a lot too. he gets to be cool.

[akhuna]

Meditation Troubles

Headcanon for Gaetan. Tagging @sillylilfang , @faetxlity , and @lenkalost for this! :)

~ ~ ~ ~

Gaetan dislikes meditating.

It just doesn't come easy to him. Before he underwent the grasses, he was energetic, yes, but he could just as well sit still, watch the clouds go by.

After the grasses, it's hard. He can still concentrate of course. Hunting is one of the first tasks the young Witchers are set to familiarize themselves with their new-found abilities, and he can sink into focus as he is waiting for his prey. But meditating is hard.

This is bad. He knows it's bad, because out on the Path, he'll have to meditate. It will speed up recovery from injuries and will be the best way for his body to prepare before a contract while potions are stewing and the time passes – but as soon as he has to sit down with the other young adepts, his legs are getting restless and his skin will start to itch.

The mentors have noticed, of course, and Gaetan has been told more than once that this is not uncommon and that Witchers like him will especially benefit from meditation. He surely knows that it does him good whenever he finally succeeds sinking into the Deep Calm Within. Nevertheless, it is so hard to get there, and having to watch his peers becoming still around him while he is still shifting in his spot, trying to find a comfortable position that won't make his legs grow numb and stop his nose from itching and allow his eyes to keep shut and his breathing to slow down is incredibly frustrating.

Of course, he disturbs the others.

Aiden makes sure to sit next to him whenever he can, but his brother cannot stop the other adepts from complaining, and thus the mentors have no choice but to place Gaetan a little apart from the group. He hates being singled out like that. He does excel in other parts of the training: He is better with a knife than anyone else in his cohort, and his sure footwork on the tightrope earns him his mentors' praise, but he is still being mocked for not being able to meditate.

Once, he tries to come to meditation practice drunk, but the mentor smells the alcohol on him, of course, and he is sent away to have his schedule heaped with hard camp chores until he has sweated it all out, and he doesn't try it again.

His next plan is to stay up all night before meditation training, and this makes it easier for him twice, until he falls asleep during the third session and one of the boys who doesn't like him tattles on him.

The punishment for that is even worse: Gaetan is sat down across from one of the strictest mentors and is told not to move until he is able to meditate and the mentor can hear his heartbeat and pulse slow down considerably.

He can feel the panic rising in his throat the moment he is given the instructions, but when he is shifting in his spot to try and find a comfortable position, the mentor uses a well-placed Aard and he can feel his right ear stinging from the blow. He tries to sit still and calm down, but it doesn't work. His face has never itched more, his legs are numb and his skin feels as if it is way too tight, but he doesn't dare to move with the mentor's yellow eyes fixed upon him.

After an hour and a half, when he is almost choking on the scream that has been building in his throat, his shirt so soaked with sweat that it is sticking to his back, he is rescued by Miadi'el, one of the oldest female Witchers in the camp. Ignoring the mentor's furious protests, she tells Gaetan to follow her, and Gaetan jumps up from his spot, shakes his hands, stomps his feet and screams until his throat feels raw and his skin feels like it fits again.

Miad'iel takes him to Guxart, who allows her to take Gaetan under her wing for a few days. She explains that she had similar troubles during her training and gives him different tasks to fulfill to calm his mind: Sorting pieces of string according to length, etching repeating patterns into leather, breaking twigs into little same-sized pieces and arranging them into little piles. It works; meditating feels much easier after that.

When he rejoins the others, it is still taking him longest to fall into meditation, but he is able to enter the state and remain calm for a reasonable time. As he becomes older and more independent, he sometimes skips the practice in favour of the things Miad'iel has taught him. Over time, however, he feels that they are not a substitute, but more like a different approach, and that nothing will help him with his inner restlessness as regular meditation.

In the weeks before their last and final trial, Gaetan has nightmares about having to meditate again like he had to during that afternoon: Sitting for hours without moving a muscle, with everything itching and bothering him and the sweat-soaked shirt sticking to his back. He doesn't tell anybody except Aiden, who sleeps next to him, and his brother has the courtesy not to laugh.  

Of course, they do not have to meditate during their final trials, and apart from Guxart advising him to keep up his practice diligently, the topic doesn't come up again. He does keep practicing on his first year on the path until it finally become somewhat easier over time.

But still. Gaetan doesn't like it.

[blackberrywars]

Trick or Treat! Share a snippet, headcanon, art, or vibes with your followers, then pass it on. 👻

Thank you so much!! I don't know if you're from the lok or witcher side of my followers, but I'm doing one of each, and this one's witcher! Fair warning, this one's pretty sad, with some ugly reminders of Lambert's home life.

———————————————————————————

Inside, Mama’s completely asleep on the bed. Arms limp, one hanging over the side. Head lolling back, flat on the bed without so much as a pillow to cushion her from it. Lambert shakes her to no response, and something awful rises in her throat, choking her. She never wakes her father when he’s gone like this. In a fit of desperation, she pinches down on her mother’s inner thigh, where she knows there’s a dark bruise in the shape of her father’s hand. The pain wakes her, makes her flinch, but she sinks back into the straw mattress.

“No, Mama, wake up. I have what you asked for, right here, but it’s almost noon.”

“Mmm, good jobb, girl.”

“Ma, he’ll be here in an hour.”

That makes her mother jolt again, but instead of settling back, she throws herself up to sit on the bed. But instead of getting up, she lurches forward, and Lambert catches her by the shoulders, helping her sit back again, pushing a few pillows under her back to prop her up. The smell on her breath makes her feel sick.

“What do I do?”

“A tea. Tea, boil the water and put the herbs in. He…… he hass a lunch, made it forr him before he left.”

———————————————————————————

[bubblyernie]

OAUAGHHH Aaron Masterpost!!! This was going to be alluded to in the graphic novel pitch so i think its okay to share

BTW!! RN!!! THe graphic novel draft/roughs are up on my Patreon, its 23 pages in black and white. If anyone's interested. sneak peek, its called Wretch, its gonna come out some time in april/may:

anyway. AARON!!! I love to blab, im a huge yapper, given the opportunity to talk about my oc i will NEVER shut up. i split em up w headers, sorry for the paragraphs of text

Okay. BASICS:

The elevator pitch: a bounty hunter cowboy that crosses over with the hunter themes of the Greek furies! (they're both trackers, they "hunt", usually anti-hero considering the targets are criminals or men who've wronged their wives. Crimes against the gods. etc.

Aaron's name is a pun (Aaron Yiez), because...he's an Erinyes! The Greek furies!! Ofc in dnd there's more than 3, which is how I'm playing it, he wouldn't be one of the big three furies like megaera alecto or tisiphone. in DnD terms, he's a fiend! He's also a level 20 monster hunter ranger >:3 he's genderfluid (and demisexual as a fun side note), but always uses he/him

From the idea of the furies in Greek myth (or at least my understand of), anyone can call on the furies to enact justice/divine retribution on someone who's done a crime or wronged them and deserves punishment. Crossing over to dnd, he's a patron, if someone wanted someone killed, they'd make a pact with him in exchange for their soul. He only takes pacts that go against the grand scheme of "law", as in, the lawful planes' idea of justice. Which is crimes against the gods, against humanity, etc. not necessarily "law" as in human rules.

(btw "Wretch" is a play on "Retribution", which is his virtue name even tho he's not a tiefling.)

The whole storyline/purpose of his character was to explore morality. in this setting i frame "good" as putting others ahead of yourself and "evil" as putting yourself first. For the purposes of this, Aaron is considered lawful evil and then lawful neutral and even good at some points, kind of an antihero guy.

DESIGN!!:

So i went with the feathered wings thing bc...according to 5e they're like descendants of the angels and not born in the hells which i thought was neat. The original idea for the horns was a halo but i simplified them!

There's lots of snake imagery because the Furies were said to have snakes in their hair — Aaron's based off a rattlesnake (like....rattlesnake jake from Rango), he's got a rattle on his tail, snake earrings, a forked tongue, snakeskin shoes that look like snake heads, and lots of striations in his horns that move whenever his powers activate like writhing snakes.

He's got a mark on his forehead (backstory will explain that later!) that shows up on his targets/people he pacts with. Its meant to look like a star, kinda like how Artemis from Hades (game) has her "hunters mark"

He's actually quite thin, he just wears a lot of layers. Underneath bro has no nips, erinyes don't reproduce so i figured no need, but he does have some top scars (again, backstory will explain)

When he hunts/has a target for a bounty, he can activate smth like the "witcher sense" in witcher 3, where everything goes greyscale and he can pick up on their scent. I headcanon he can smell fear >:3 its his favourite scent.

FUUUN FACT: Turned the rope of entanglement dnd Erinyes get into his lasso/whip (its a +3 whip)!! and the leather armour has been turned into cowboy style leathers! yippee!!

BACKSTORY:

okay. here's the good shit. CW: mentions of domestic violence and murder. its a dark story, the comic itself is also 18+ for the themes of violence

So. Aarons started off as a scourge aasimar, the type that's all like....wrath of the gods. he was from mount celestia, like kind of a warden/sentinel type, son of a priest. His father married him off to a man from the material plane as a diplomatic thing between those two planes and for the sake of keeping the peace, Aaron went along with it. IMPORTANT TO KNOW, he did not go by Aaron, he had another name that i 1. didn't decide yet, 2. decided he would've wiped it from all of history anyway so nobody would ever deadname him.

To be very blunt, it was a toxic and abusive relationship. Aaron's never really the happy/outgoing type, even as an aasimar he's very regimentative and stoic. And for the sake of keeping peace between two planes/factions, he put up with it though as a scourge aasimar, the anger would manifest and fester in a way that's much stronger than someone of the mortal plane.

on the timeline i mentioned a "catalyst", which would be the event that kind of turned him over. His abuser would have put out a cigar on his forehead (hence the mark) and because of that Aaron would have sworn out to let divine retribution have them. One of the furies did heed his call, and he swore his life off, but before they arrived his own wrath took over and he killed the man off himself (shot him). So this left him in a position where 1. committed murder 2. basically overtook the erinyes who failed to do the job for him. This is where he went from "ill put up with it for everyone else's sake" to "i deserve better, i will always put myself first" and went from scourge to fallen aasimar. And of course the hells would grant him the offer of serving them because he obviously couldn't go back to mount celeste after he passes away.

He'd be tried for murder and hung (its a wild west story so...era-appropriate) and when he "awoke" he was in the nine hells reborn as a fury. Because all erinyes are described as female in myth, i think that would apply here, though he did alter his body to suit a more androgynous/flat-chested look. Aaron's actually really scrawny, he's high dex not high strength, so this kind of helped with his mobility as well. stuff happens, blood war happens, now he's a patron.

After this, he's taken up the reins so to speak, and prides himself in the fact that he's "a bad guy killing even worse guys". I think he's actually good (leaning), in my head, but mechanically evil in game play (does that make sense?). He's still self-prioritizing and because of that is very reclusive/untrusting but he's not necessarily selfish. just standoffish and...very traumatized. stray cat ish.

this is kind of going into comic territory now, but basically he'll pick up a bounty from a girl named Bess. She will almost do exactly what he did but he actually gives her the choice to kill her spouse saying that "he deserves your rage". Very projecting/saw himself in her, and because he's so blinded by his own rage this mistake is kinda like well...you "tempted" her into doing it, but she's very adamant she would've done it regardless, she's a murderer now, and the nine hells and seven heavens all have something to say about it and then they do monster of the week stuff together to repair that.

UH FUN FACT. the end result i had in mind that's NOT in the graphic novel is that she eventually says Aaron tempted her into doing it (its a good thing for a devil, but not necessarily for an erinyes), aaron's "punishment" for failing to do his job is that he has to live watching the person he cares about (bess) be wiped clean of memories and is "reborn" multiple times. That ends up being....Bastion. Bastion is the third iteration of Bess and i thinkkkk i want it to be like they're connected forever but cant ever be close. And maybe as a feel good moment bastion will remember aaron by name and face but not by what he's done. Aaron just has/had to suffering watching Bess die and become a celestial without her previous hardass badass personality to a total goof off to watching THAT iteration die to become the stoic stone-faced Bastion who's WAY more like his aasimar self.

OKAY WELL THATS ABOUT IT SOORRRRY ITS SOOO LONG ITS JUST BRO YAPPIN!! I loooove yapping!! i hope people are okay after reading that, its heavy material.

There wouldn't happen to be more stuff about Aaron is there?

:0 oh?? like more art? (there definitely will be, I'm publishing a graphic novel pitch about him some time in late april/early may. in fact, that's the most "stuff" I've ever done for any oc)

or like...fun facts? ASJDFKsdf

[mydarlingwitcher]

Headcanon: even after the mountain, Jaskier never stops singing about Geralt.

Sure, we hear that farmer calling Geralt butcher, but they’re near Cintra, in a dangerous territory. That probably just means he doesn’t like the moniker white wolf, or they haven’t heard a Jaskier song in a while. Our bard is reckless, but smart enough not to go looking for trouble in a war zone without a certain witcher.

so Jaskier has no new material for songs about slaying monsters and saving innocents, and he refuses to make up stories. Embellishing Geralt’s brusque tales was one thing, but it just feels wrong to pretend they’ve had more adventures together.

He holds many exhausting conversations with himself that essentially boil down to: this is  my job, I need the coin, and these songs are a guaranteed success. Nothing more.

That’s not the whole truth. Because here’s the thing -- if he keeps singing about Geralt, he can cling to that last shred of hope. He can let himself imagine a day when they’ll meet again.

It will be awkward at first, then Geralt will mutter a non-apology, and Jaskier will respond with a wry remark. They’ll share a tankard of ale or two and everything won’t be forgotten, but it will be forgiven. They’ll set out to finding Geralt’s child surprise together and everything will make sense again. Maybe... maybe Jaskier will finally say it loud and clear. I have loved you for twenty years. You’re my home. Let me be yours.

He often falls asleep thinking about this. He can’t afford to be pining over someone who isn’t there during the day, so he licks his wounds and keeps himself busy. But at night? At night, he plays out the fantasy and sinks into the depths of yearning. It’s a sweet, stupid lie, he knows. Still, he can’t help it. When he imagines that his witcher is resting right beside him, smelling of sweat and chamomile, it’s easier to sleep.

What Jaskier doesn’t sing for a crowd is Her Sweet Kiss. He attempts it only once, at the first inn he finds after the dragon hunt. By the end of it, he’s nearly reduced to tears and he has no choice but to drink and forget his pathetic performance. For the first time since he can remember, he doesn’t want to be part of the epic tale.

Geralt’s harsh words of rejection sting like hell, even after months. But Jaskier’s weapons are his songs, and he’ll be damned if he lets Geralt win this fight.

Someone needs to tell the truth, shout it from the rooftops. And Geralt still can’t fucking understand that he has a heart and he has to listen to what it wants. So it’s up to Jaskier to sing this story.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Witcher Senses: Taste

Geralt has an enhanced sense of hearing and smell, so Jaskier reasons that of course his sense of taste would be enhanced as well.

Jaskier is maybe just a wee bit envious of Geralt's better sense of taste. It must be marvelous to taste food and drink on a whole deeper level than a human.

Even when the food at an inn or tavern is blander than h*ll, Geralt still appears to savor the taste, while Jaskier has to settle for suffering through the meal, or maybe be lucky enough to have a little salt in his pack.

And when the food is amazing? Jaskier wishes he could taste the food the way Geralt does. The food is absolutely delectable. The best thing he's ever tasted. Surely it is fit to set at the table of the gods themselves!

Jaskier is at a loss for words to describe the flavor. He looks at Geralt, and is instantly jealous of the Witcher's taste buds. The expression on his face suggests that the food tastes like pure sin.

Lucky b**tard

But Geralt's enhanced taste buds aren't just for enjoying food. Jaskier has seen him use it to keep both of them alive.

Geralt: Hm. Wine smells off. Let's see...

Jaskier: just the tip...of the tongue!

Geralt: *eye roll* Hm. Poison.

Jaskier: :O

Dead deer on the road with not a mark on it? Geralt's got it covered.

*nibble nibble*

Hmm. Wasting disease. Better stick with rabbit for dinner tonight.

Jaskier is impressed. The versatility is amazing! There are so many uses! He discovers another use for Geralt's tongue several nights later.

It's been a long day of travelling, and Jaskier has been taken over by inspiration and spent almost the entire day scribbling in his notebook and strumming on his lute. Geralt has not made as much progress has he'd like, but Jaskier is too distracted to keep up a steady, quick pace.

Oh well, there's really no reason they can't make camp early.

Jaskier is just sitting there later, minding his own d*mn business, when Geralt throws him for a loop.

He's been feeling off for the past few hours. Shaky, and a little sweaty.

He's staring at his notebook, glaring at the half-baked lyrics he's scribbled down.

He's getting worried. Had the meat pie he'd eaten earlier been spoilt? Was he going to die from eating rotten meat?

Geralt is abruptly at his elbow, grunting a concerned 'Hm'. His companion smelled off.

"What?"

"You don't look good."

"Excuse you, but I always look good!"

"You look like sh*t, bard."

"That's rude! Just for that, I'm sleeping on the other side of camp!" *Stands and stumbles*

Geralt grabs Jaskier's arm to steady him, but then doesn't let go. Instead, he starts snuffling at his skin.

Jaskier: *light-headed* Er...?

Geralt makes a thoughtful sound, then starts licking Jaskier's forearm.

"What the ever-loving--?!"

Jaskier can't complete his sentence because 1. Geralt is licking his arm. And 2. Geralt's tongue is scratchy, like a cat's, and he is having thoughts about it.

And goodness, some of those thoughts were making him blush!

Geralt apparently finds what he's looking for because he makes a satisfied grunt and lets him go.

Jaskier snatches his arm back, and stares at him, metaphorically clutching his pearls.

"You need to eat." Geralt says simply. "I can taste it in the sweat on your skin."

"You can...whAt?"

"I can tell from how your sweat tastes. It tastes bitter. Eat."

"But I ate earlier,"

"That was hours ago Jaskier."

Jaskier paused. Now that he thought about it, he'd eaten that pie for breakfast when they'd left town. It was now late afternoon!

"Well, f**k me running!" Jaskier exclaimed, feeling relieved. He wasn't going to die from a spoilt meat pie!

He took the dried meat, cheese, and nuts Geralt handed him and chewed contemplatively for a few moments.

Jaskier: *grinning suggestively* So, you can tell what's wrong with me by how I taste?

Geralt: *annoyed at the suggestive remark* Hm.

Jaskier: Do you have to lick my arm, or can it be any part of me? *eyebrow wiggle*

Geralt: Hmm (exhasperated)

Jaskier: Because, you do know that your tongue is interestingly scratchy, and it's making me rather curious as to what it would feel like on my--!

Geralt: *Shoves chunk of bread into Jaskier's mouth* Eat.

Jaskier: *muffled disappointed bard noises*

Geralt sighed to himself. Jaskier was going to be an insufferable menace this winter.

[gayregis]

[justice-maul]

Character/Scenarios Kink List

Featuring: Dom and/or Top Reader w/ Random Fandoms

Summary: A new little fun game for my followers and new comers to play with me, you can request anything from this list with the rules down below but aren’t obligated to as I will still write them regardless

Author Note: there will be some overused characters and actors because this list is of my personal favorites to write about, I change this list quite a bit according to my taste so keep that in mind

Rules for requesting are down below and the links/list are under the keep reading

Kink/character list:

Jealous Sex ft.

Thigh Riding ft. Bucky (The Winter Soldier)

Premature Ejaculation ft. Clark Kent (Superman)

Facefucking ft.

Accidental Stimulation ft. Steve Rogers

Aphrodisiac/Sex Pollen ft. Jason Todd (Redhood DC)

Discreet sex ft. Bruce Wayne

Size Difference ft.

Toys ft.

Begging ft.

Kitchen Sex ft. Tony Stark x Avengers amab!Reader

Shower Sex ft. Pietro Maximoff

Caught Masturabting ft. Bucky (The Winter Soldier)

Overstimulation ft. Geralt (The Witcher Netflix)

Praise Kink ft.

Uniform Sex ft.

Scent/Smell Kink ft.

Boss/Power Play ft. Natasha Romanoff

Hate sex ft.

Cockwarming ft.

Face Sitting ft. Marc Spector

Spit kink ft.

Breeding ft. Dick Grayson (Nightwing)

Tit Job/ Pec Job ft. Diavolo (Obey Me)

Frottage ft. Jake Lockey (Moonknight)

Hero/Villain ft.

At Work Sex ft.

One Piece of Clothing ft.

Bent Over ft.

Drunk Sex ft.

Requests:

All of my existing blog rules must be followed here too, please be respectful and read these

You can add anything to it along with the kink and you may add scenarios and/or prompts even a plot,

Send me the number of your desire and a character if there isn't already one on it and I’ll write it next whether it be a headcanon or a fic

I can turn down a request, I have that right as a person

If a number is crossed out and says: currently writing, DO NOT REQUEST IT

The characters and kink will not be changed if you make a request on which one you want me to write

Alternative universe’s are welcome

I won’t do mommy/daddy/mistress/master labels, pregnant reader or character, having a child together,

I will not do cock cages or rings, pet play, monster sex, snowballing, vomit, poop, feet, pee, sneeze, vore, or gore. There will be no kink-shaming either. other than that I’m open-minded.

I will write it in a random order and you can request in a random order

You can add another character but can’t change an existing one

Be respectful of the kinks and do not shame others for theirs

[bowieandqueen11]

Soft Geralt Of Rivia Headcanons

Request: May I please request some romantic headcanons of what being the only person who Geralt of Rivia shows his softer side to, please? thank you!

Oh!My!Goodness! Can you hear me screaming I am BLUSHING!!!

If you enjoy, pleaseeee comment and reblog!!

(Gif credit goes to @darkewish, I do not own these characters or the Witcher, all rights/credit goes to its creators).

Geralt of Rivia has never known love. Not really. Not properly. Not before. But that’s okay with him, he’s spent most of his life believing it would break him if he did. Someone who is supposed to have no feelings knowing love? He wouldn’t know what to do with it, it would just split him apart.

The only kind of rugged, intense, fleeting and hard-fought bonds of love he has ever known have come from either Vesemir, Lambert, or the other Witchers at Kaer Morhen, or from local brothels during his travels across the Northern Hemisphere. With all this came an aversion, or a distrust of more intimate and personal forms of affection.

Ever since his mother had heaved off and left him high and dry in the middle of that dirt track, he refused to allow himself to trust any other humans other than the incessant Bard.

Yet one chance meeting cracked all those thorns piercing and entangling his once tender heart.

It all started in that wretched smelling bog, and with five yellowed, rancid claws gripping onto Geralt’s leg and dragging him down into the murky depths. Passing by on your horse on your way to Novigrad, you manage to rush down and grab underneath his left shoulder just in time to haul him back up. Throwing him back the silver sword that lay sinking into the mud on the edge of the patch, he splurts out water as he slays the Water Hag that runs screeching towards him.

Slipping onto him as he walks over to thank you and help you up, his eyes open in mild surprise as you rest your hands on his proto-pauldrons. At first you think the Witcher has fallen into a state of shock - he’s just staring up at you with dirt splattered thick white eyelashes, mouth dropped open as his mind tries to keep up with its whirring and think up something to say.

Before he realises it, and before his own shock can set in, he finds himself asking you to come with him.

Even more surprising, as your breath hitches and you try to move your leg so it’s no longer straddling his thick hips, is that you agree.

He does that Pride and Prejudice movie thing where every time after that, during the period after this but before he finally admits his feelings, when his heart starts racing unfamiliarly and hurts his breast every time he glances over at you, that he flexes his hand almost painfully every time he helps you up and down from your horse.

PEAK ROMANCE

He just hms hoarsely when you ask him if he’s ready to go, storming off to clamber back off to Roach as he tries to stop his brain from screaming. His fingertips feel like they’re on fire, and he doesn’t dare to clench them too hard. He wants to feel the wind burning against his skin, wants to feel every nerve alight as he etches the feel of you into the front of his memory.

When the three of you agree to help Villentretenmerth and join his team to find the green dragon which had landed in the mountains, he stays next to you at all times. He would lie next to you at nights, thigh bumping against yours as the groups sit around the campfire, listening to Dandelion hum from where he rests against a nearby mossy rock. At first you think he’s done it by accident, until it’s time for the three of you to rest. You lie down with your feet near the dwindling fire light, until you can make out the shadows of Geralt’s stern looking face in the dancing embers as he races to lie down next to you. Jaskier’s already asleep, curled up next to you on your left. and cuddled up with his lute in his arms, snoring. You face him as Geralt slowly unfurls himself on your right, breath nearly silent as he tries to hold it.

You try to get some rest, but you can tell he’s awake by the way his eyes burn into the back of your head, eyebrows furrowed in some unknown concentration to you. You’re about to ask him if he’s feeling alright, if he has something on his mind he’d like to tell you about, when you feel cautious fingers slide up your side until his hand has gingerly rested on top of your shoulder.

He finally admits his feelings after the business with the Djinn. It was just the caring way you help Jaskier, letting him grip onto you and holding him up with the upmost love even with blood frothing out of his mouth. The gentle reassurances as you stroke the hair back from his face and help pour some elixir into the side of his lips he can still breath out of.

He doesn’t know why it was this. He also doesn’t know how sudden, how frightfully, frightfully sudden the epiphany came, and how strongly too. But there it was, the pain in his chest that was finally pinching out the barbs and making him feel as if his heart was bleeding out. He just knows that this is what love is supposed to feel like.

And so he tells you. And he’s even more shocked when you take his hands, and tenderly kiss the back of his tired knuckles. You love him too.

To be honest, after that, he used to get irritated at the way Dandelion would go into each town, each inn or square they stop at to sing his new lover’s tale about how Geralt of Rivia, the Butcher of Blaviken has finally stopped being haunted by his past, from his monsters, and instead has found his soulmate. But when a rush of peasant women in Oxenfurt surround you to gush about how you’re even more ethereal than the tales make you out to be, the blush that rushes up to the tips of his ears makes him laugh for the first time in weeks.

His softer side predominantly comes out in private, although it’s begun to leak out into the everyday as well.

He’ll hold your hand under the table when the three of you stop off for food. Just letting it rest safely in his lap, stroking his thumb over your palm as he frowns at the new story Jaskier is animatedly trying to retell by throwing his hands about the place on the other side of the uneven table.

Even though he knows you’re a badass and can take care of yourself (and have saved his life on multiple occasions, as you love to point out), if you’re ever ambushed by monsters or bandits, his sword is immediately drawn and he’s lunging with his arm out in front of you straight away. Or, he smirks at you with that new mischievous glint in his eye as the two of you race over to save Jaskier from the new wraith he’s managed to annoy.

Geralt, for the first time in his life, can finally sleep when you’re with him. He’s never felt more safe, or more wanted, when he’s lying terrified and vulnerable by your side. He finds his heart calming down, though, when you twist yourself over and begin running the tip of your index finger down his nose and over the strong edges of his lips. His lips begin to twitch into a smile, giving himself away as you just take a moment to look at him and understand.

You couldn’t put a finger on it, how he looked so different lying there next to you. Completely bare, body and soul. But that was it. You’d never seen him look peaceful before. Sure, you’d seen him look happy before, when he was with Jaskier. But content? Relaxed? Like any other non-mutated human? Heck, you’d never seen him smile before he was with you.

He is like a furnace though, and sometimes you groan in defeat when you feel his thick arm and thigh roll on top of your body in the middle of the night.

The two of you bathe together often, just soaking and enjoying each other’s company in the warm, undisturbed water of the tub. The heavenly smell of lilac, honeycomb and jasmine surrounds the two of you in it’s slinking shroud, allowing you a moment respite to hide from the world and just trace the scars on his back as he tells you about how he collected each one.

You can feel the heat radiate off him though when your hands begin to climb down and fall to stroke over the scars littering his inner thighs as his back squirms against you.

You’re the only one he’ll allow to help him when he gets injured - especially when he’s attacked by Ghouls and sees Visenna. In a moment of respite, he falls to his knees in front of you after you finish tying the off-white cloth around the bite mark on his leg. He looks the most defeated you had ever seen him, so you do the only thing you can think of. You just take his head in the bracket of your arms, cradling his head to your stomach as his hands reach up to grip your elbows. Despite the chaos devastating the world, in that moment, there’s just the two of you as he nestles his head into your stomach and finally allows himself to breathe again.

He’s not a big talker, so Jaskier’s smirking and giggling earns him a slap in the chest when he catches Geralt staring at you with a tilted head like a little puppy, eyes glittering with that awestruck look and cheeks turning peach every time he hears you talk.

When the two of you inevitably fall into trouble, such as when you end up locked up in the cell in Cintra during the middle of a war, if he’s not spending his time trying to meditate he’ll lean down and kissing your forehead. He lingers for a moment longer than he would, still trying to learn not to be uncomfortable with letting the world see his affection, but just needing to feel for a moment as if fate will be on your side.

Sometimes when he’s just feeling like he needs to hide away from the world for a bit, you and Jaskier will ride him out to some nearby flowery field and just sit in the dewy grass, staring up at the clouds as Jaskier sings. Geralt wraps his arms around his knees and frowns down at the ground as you rub his back and place a stalk of lavender behind his ear, but he’s overjoyed on the inside. He’s still just scared to show it.

He allows you to braid some strands of his hair back. Before the two of you sleep after a long day’s ride through the Northern villages, he’ll rent the three of you a room in the local inn. Jaskier has already flopped down and passed out on his bed, quilt in hand and ink dripping onto the floor. You and Geralt, however, will spend a little longer just stealing some time to yourselves by the fire. He pretends not to enjoy it as he hums gruffly, sitting between your legs and tracing his fingers on your knees. But soon you look down and see that he’s fallen asleep. 

That night is spent with him sleeping soundly on your lap as you stroke the fringe of his hair away from his heavy eyes.

You’re also the only person he’ll allow to pet Roach.

OOOhh boi, dressing him up in that silk trader outfit Jaskier chose for him before the wedding banquet. It’s all graceful, playful fingers dancing up the buttons that line his chest, swirling over his sweaty, hairy skin and feeling his heartbeat pound against their tips. Finally, as you reach down and tighten his belt, his squirming and the light frown that lines his face become too much until he can’t help himself any longer. Trapping you between his long legs, his feet kick you back until you’ve fallen back onto the bed, and he’s fallen over you.

Jaskier raises an eyebrow and tries to stifle a snort when the two of you come out half an hour late, with wild manes of hair and red makeup stains littering Geralt’s shirt collar.

The two of you are just lying in bed one night when he suddenly blurts out, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me’.

And for once, as you smile at him and returns the gesture with more love in its look than you thought the world could muster, he’s not shocked when you accept.

[cosmos-coma]

Holidays with You at Kaer Morhen

Hello! I’ve been taking some time away for the holidays, but I still wanted to put out some headcanons before the season came and went!

Below the cut enjoy seeing how each Witcher prefers to celebrate the holidays with you!

Geralt

- Geralt definitely prefers a quieter holiday season, despite the dull feeling that comes with midwinter he’d rather ring it in quietly.

- Cirri, however, will not stand for it and neither will you.

- There’s one day where you rush into him in the great hall shouting “Geralt, Ciri just hurt herself outside!” And that’s all you had to say.

- He beelines for the door and immediately when it opens a snowball smacks him square in the nose. Ciri, who threw it, is in utter hysterics while you’re trying desperately not to laugh too hard.

- You end up all in an extremely competitive snow ball competition in which you have no chance against one Witcher and his teleporting daughter.

- Ciri of course wins in the end when she dumps snow down Geralt’s shirt. You suspect he let her win, having decades of witcher experience, but the way Ciri cheers like its the best day of her life easily heals his bruised pride.

Eskel

- Eskel also likes quieter Holidays, but no matter what he likes to spend them indoors. He won’t admit it, but he’s a bit of a baby when it comes to the cold, so the closer he can stay to a fire the better in his opinion.

- Which is perfect for you because that means its 10x easier to drag him into the kitchen with you.

- Together you two almost single-handedly made enough treats to feed the entire keep all winter. Honey cakes, cookies, cranberry bread.

- Of course you also make Eskel taste test everything, his favorite job of all (as well as Lil Bleater’s, when she manages to sneak in).

- Eskel knows that he’s gonna have to train a little extra to make up for all the treats before the season ends, but he knows it makes you happy to take care of him.

  Lambert

- Lambert on the other hand likes to be the one to ring in the holidays with a literal BANG.

- However before that, you have gotten him to enjoy mulling wine and cider with you. He’ll joke and say that it’s because its something he can get drunk off of later, but you know he enjoys the quality time as well. Plus? he smells AMAZING afterwards.

- Once that’s done and you two have at least one waterskin full of your mulled masterpiece Lambert leads you out to the lakeside, plenty of blankets in hand and you two set off your creations.

- They aren’t all perfect, some just fizzle out and die, but others explode into the most spectacular colors and your eyes light up like everything in the world is exactly right. Lambert wouldn’t trade those moments for the world.

[bandydear]

I’m annoyed at The Witcher being like “oh noooo Witchers are hideous monster men” when literally they just get anime OC changing eye colours and sterility. Like, heavy is the head that wears the crown, kings 👊😔

When they could be ACTUAL monster men which would be cool and make real sense because they’re mutated with a bunch of monster genes. ANND AND there are six different schools but little in the way of lore discussing the differences aside from “no one likes Cat witchers because they participate in political assassinations” BORING

Anyway, here are my headcanons/fixes for each of the different schools. Feel free to build on it or disagree.

All Witchers

Have little to no whites in their eyes. Much like dog or ape eyes, they need to look to the side to show any sclera.

Large teeth and claws are common side effects of the mutations with varying degrees of size.

Unfortunate side effects include: painful skin disorders, hair loss, joint issues—typical autoimmune stuff. Some witchers attempt to fix this with further mutations to some success or diminishing returns. It’s a bit of a roulette.

Weird smell. The combination of various monster DNA really does a number on the glands.

Can be m/f/nb because all boys club sucks and is boring

Still sterile tho. Found families the lot of them.

Wolf

Unique for hunting in packs! Yes, I know this goes against the main storyline. I do not care. They’re called wolves.

Eye colour ranges from yellow to pale blue.

Given genes specializing in all-terrain travel, stamina, and heat retention. They grow winter coats and are the second fuzziest witchers.

Family! Is! Important! Other Witcher schools may consider themselves colleagues, acquaintances, partners, etc—but wolves are a family.

They howl. Getting a howl started is a good way to distract a pack of wolf witchers. It’s also how they communicate via distance or alert each other of danger.

Bear

BIG. They raise bear witchers on sumo diets. The smallest bear witchers are only six feet. They want seven, eight feet.

Fight giant monsters. They’re the type who grapple trolls unarmed. You call in a bear for BIG problems.

Fuzzy. They operate in colder climates and mutate for the weather.

Eye colours range from green to red, most often brown.

Prefer payment in food or shelter. They’re more of a monastic order with little attachment to possessions.

Believe in monster hunting as a sacred service to the world and believe in non-violence otherwise

Hunt mostly with silver traps and one really big silver axe for finishing blows.

Cat

Operate through many networks and call each other “friend”, use unique scent cues as a method of identification.

The most “human passing” of witchers with the smallest eyes and fewest mutations, often passing for half or quarter elves instead

Have dexterity training and mutations that make them especially agile and “always land on their feet”

Will hunt monsters, but much prefer sabotage, assassinations, and robbery. However, in robbing old castles and mansions, one is likely to come across ghosts, demons, and all matter of things, so they typically specialize in the more floaty paranormal than monsters.

Eye colours range from light green to blue, with the usual being green

Pupils get huge during silly time

Prefer double daggers or scimitars for combat.

Viper

Venomous mouths which brings us to point B

Vow of celibacy

Combination of various venoms from mutations gives them a unique pungent smell. They’re not very subtle, but they are deadly, and by the time you smell one it’s probably too late.

Prefer poison tipped projectiles for hunting. Good at the long game in harsh climates

Blindness is common, so all viper witchers learn seismic sense for hunting and tracking

Solitary hunters, but will reunite with their community a few times a year

Eye colours range from green to white

Slitted sclera

Griffin

They got wings

Hunt flying monsters and big underwater types.

Perform philtrum surgery as part of trials to give themselves a more bird beak

Porcupine gene that allows them to shoot quills from a distance

Very communal. Big families that never hunt alone.

Along with manticores, they’re most likely to hunt humans due to their combination of mutagens, and a general distaste for them.

Hunt monsters for food and sport, not for money.

Yellow eyes.

Hunt with silver/steel nets, spears, and tridents.

Manticore

The Most Mutated. With all the pros and cons.

Many variations from other schools: some have venomous bites, some shoot quills, some communicate via scent. Manticore is the newest school and is made from detractors from the other five.

Hunt monsters for coin, glory, or grudges.

Paralytic claws.

Built for power, but only in bursts. Not good with the stamina game.

Eyes colours range from red to purple

Most versatile with their weapon specialization.

Consider themselves more like a team than a family.

“Anything goes” kind of attitude—their founders hated the rules of their previous clans

Hunt humans and monsters alike. Basically mercenaries.