#witcher Jaskier

[eskelhashugetitties]

Girlfriend say something normal about joey batey challenge part two. (Failed)

[shy-urban-hobbit]

"I'm telling you Geralt, my songs are definitely working."

"A few contracts not skimping on payment isn't proof Jaskier. It's coincidence." Geralt replied as he stuffed his newly purchased supplies into Roach's saddlebag. After two years, he didn't need to look to know the bard was probably doing his uncanny impression of a landed trout. His default expression when he thought himself gravely offended.

"Oh hoho. So it's proof you want? Fine, I'll get you proof you old cynic - wait, I'm here calling you old, how old are you? I know Witchers age differently but it's all so contradictory. I remember one text claiming you aged backwards. Backwards!"

Geralt was blessedly distracted from Jaskier's tangent by a small tug on his cloak causing him to look behind him and then down.

A small, tear stained face with huge, liquid brown eyes looked up at him. The hand that wasn't clutching Geralt's cloak fisted in the skirt of a green dress as she shuffled her small, booted feet. Witcher and child stared at one another and even Jaskier had fallen silent.

"Are you the White Wolf?" She asked in a small voice.

Geralt could only nod in response, keeping an eye and both ears out for angry adults about to accuse him of kidnapping.

"I can't find my Papa." She sniffled, voice trembling and eyes welling up.

He felt himself slip into Witcher mode, trying to think what could be snatching people from a crowded town in the middle of the day, "What do you mean you can't find him, has he gone missing or-"

"Sweetheart, do you mean you got separated from your Papa in the market?" Jaskier gently interjected before Geralt could start fully interrogating her. The girl gave a small nod, turning her attention to the bard now kneeling in the dirt next to her.

Geralt felt his face heat up. Right. Just a lost child. That was also a possible (and the most logical) explanation.

"It's ok, we'll help you find him. Won't we Geralt?" Jaskier's tone of voice leaving no room for argument.

It turned out that Jaskier's idea of helping was having the girl perch on Geralt's shoulders and scan the top of the crowd for her father while he stood playing silly little dittys to keep her from crying again. Geralt holding onto her shins lightly and trying to ignore the mess being made on his cloak by muddy feet.

"I see him! Papa! Papa!"

Geralt tightened his grip slightly as her weight shifted with her frantic waving. Waiting until he was clearly making his way over to them before setting her gently back on the ground.

"Mika! Oh thank the God's." He turned his attention to the two men, his eyes widened as he took Geralt in fully.

"You're-"

"Hmmm."

Geralt tried to hide his surprise as the man grasped his hand in a firm if slightly clammy grip. "My thanks Wolf. I swear, if I went home without her my wife would make sure I shared the same fate as that Hag from the song of yours." He said, smiling awkwardly at his own attempt at humour, "Come on Mika, say goodbye. Oh, here."

He reached into his satchel and pulled something out. Geralt could smell warm sugar as he handed it over. "It's not much, but I don't know a single person who doesn't like cake. I could do with cutting down myself." He said, patting his own slight paunch before taking his daughters hand with a final "Thank you." Mika turning back to give a wave which they both returned before the two of them disappeared into the crowd.

"What?" Geralt asked as they left the town. The bard hadn't stopped grinning at him like the cat who'd got the canary.

"Nothing. It just, the timing and everything. Seems Destiny agreed with me for once. The songs are making a difference."

"Hmm." Geralt fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Oh don't give me that." Jaskier said, swatting Geralt in the side as he unwrapped the package Mika's father had given them, "You saw as well as I did there were plenty of town guards around but she went to you. She wanted you. Oooh, maybe this would be good for a new song. The Gentle Wolf! Yes I- hey! "

"No cake for you until you stop." Geralt stated, popping a piece into his own mouth to hide his smile.

[cha-mij]

Joey Batey writing for Jaskier...

"My love for you will nev'r abatе

For these memorries will never fade

This flow'r you left behind

A sign of endless love

Resigned will never die

But do you know why

Because my fair Etariel

This flow'r's not damp with dew

But damp with tears, tears of you

Enchanted flowers will never die"

Meanwhile Joey Batey writing for TAD:

"And in years to come, you'll wander to the place up on our hill

And then you'll cry to our painted sky, "I loved him then, I love him still!"

And you'll strew some sage and lilies and roses where I rot

Of all the flowers you picked, I knew you would forget

Forget-me-nots"

I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times. That man really is Jaskier in real life.

[rhythmiccicada]

“jaskier modern au” this, “he would be a great artist” that

‼️‼️‼️JOEY BATEY IS LITERALLY A MODERN JASKIER ‼️‼️‼️

GO LISTEN TO THE AMAZING DEVIL

You want modern forest wandering with drum circles around a fire in the pitch dark? LISTEN TO JOEY BATEY IN THE AMAZING DEVIL!

You want to escape to the woods and yell that your father fucked you over so now you’re halfway to being a witch? LISTEN TO THE AMAZING DEVIL

LISTEN 👏 TO 👏 THE 👏 AMAZING DEVIL 👏

Joey Batey is LITERALLY Jaskier

[couldpolyamorysavethem]

GERALT, JASKIER, and YENNEFER from THE WITCHER

Justification:

"All three get along well together, and Jaskier’s loneliness could easily be solved if Yen and Geralt just invited him into the relationship. He adds a silliness and openness that is lacking from Geralt and Yen’s relationship" - @teddybarebones

[islenthatur]

Commissioned an amazing piece by kayaczek for my Mark of a Lark  because I fell in love with their soft drawings of Geralt and Yen hugging and this!!

"Jaskier!" Geralt cried out and pushed past the others, skidding to a halt before him. They stared at one another for a moment before Geralt pulled him into his arms. "I thought I lost you."

Jaskier sagged against Geralt who willingly embraced him, a strained huff of a laugh escaped his lips as he stared down at Geralt. "You called me back; I heard you Geralt… I heard you love."

"I heard you." I love you...

[princessslolly]

When you’re spreading the good word

[jaskier-cult]

human witcher jaskier

imagine, for a second, witcher Jaskier ... who isn't actually a witcher, but he's trying his damned hardest at it.

after he splits from Geralt at the mountain, people keep recognising him as "the witcher's bard," and they think the witcher isn't far behind him. they give him contracts and ask him for help, except ... well, Geralt isn't here, is he? but witchers are a dying breed. how many more people will die before an actual witcher will finally meander into town? Jaskier can't just turn away people in need!

so, what does he do?

he puts down his precious lute, picks up a silver sword, and he uses the long-ago sword lessons he learned as a noble's son to dispatch the nekker's nest.

he employs his own skills and uses the knowledge he gained from Geralt over the years. and he almost dies and gets hurt really badly, but the job is done! he actually did it! and when he goes to confirm the kill with the alderman, he lies and says that Geralt is tending to his wounds while Jaskier picks up the money.

this creates a dangerous pattern of Jaskier unwittingly picking up contracts when given them, even fighting off larger monsters sometimes. he eventually stops lying about Geralt being around and just takes on contracts himself. this creates rumors that travel fast, about a human taking on witcher contracts, and succeeding. and let's just say, actual witchers? well, they're mighty curious about this little human parading around as one of them.

[captbexx]

Jaskier, my boi. ✨

Patreon | Instagram

[underpreparedbard]

my sexual orientation is joey batey’s chest hair

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

I see your power bottom Jaskier and your service top Geralt and raise you needy top Geralt and service bottom Jaskier.

Geralt Needs and Jaskier is willing always. Long day? Maybe Jaskier lays there and lets Geralt go to town. Desperate and wanting Geralt and sweet understanding Jaskier who is getting ruined and yet still present to pet Geralt's hair and murmur sweet nothings to him. Geralt finishes and he can't pull out. The smell and heat of Jaskier is so warm and kind and moving is heartbreaking to think of. And Jaskier sings a lullaby and cradles him close and Geralt falls asleep.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

“I mean, you’ve got to feel a little sorry for them really haven’t you?” Jaskier said from where he was mopping up the last of the evidence of the half dead rat Roach had thoughtfully decided to gift them (the first time it happened he’d shrieked in surprise before Geralt put it out of its misery with a matter of fact “Welcome to country living, city boy”). Geralt gave a non committal hum from where he was warming milk up for Ciri on the stove. The little girl sat colouring at the large kitchen table - too large for two, but that would change when Geralt’s brothers and any guests they decided to bring descended on them.

“I mean they’re just minding their own business like, Oh I���m a hungry rat. Please don’t kill me.” Here Jaskier put on a slightly squeaky voice and held up his hands in imitation of paws, still holding onto the mop, “And then wham one of the last things they see is Roach’s teeth coming towards them. So many teeth.” He gave the resident farm cat a critical stare and received a dismissive tail flick in response.

Ciri giggled at his antics which caused him to grin back at her in return. It always felt like a special sort of personal victory when he managed to coax a laugh out of the little girl.

Despite being together for six months, he was still being introduced to her as her father’s ‘friend’ (which was true enough, they wouldn’t be dating if they didn’t get along) and Jaskier was happy to go along with it. Geralt had explained without revealing too much that the little one had been let down by too many adults in her life already, himself included, and ‘boyfriend’ was maybe just a little too official sounding for the time being (and if he said his heart hadn’t broken a little for the five year old smiling at him from Geralt’s phone, he’d by lying), especially after the shit that had gone down with his ex. Geralt hadn’t gone into detail but from what Jaskier had gathered, the woman had had a hidden agenda in wanting to get back with Geralt and Ciri had almost gotten seriously hurt as a result. Geralt had blamed himself for jumping back into the relationship too quickly and so, any potential partners now had to pass what Jaskier had dubbed ‘The Ciri test’.  

He liked to think he’d passed the first portion with flying colours, the tiny blonde seeming perfectly comfortable with him in public places. Now they were dipping their toes into Jaskier staying in their home for longer periods, with Jaskier having graduated from the guest bedroom to sharing with Geralt the previous visit (the brunette wanting the ground to swallow him up when she happily informed her Uncle Eskel of ‘Daddy’s sleepover’ when the man had dropped by unexpectedly the following morning. Geralt had just shrugged and told him to be thankful it hadn’t been Lambert; who could and would, happily take the piss forever).

“Alright Ciri, put your things away and then go get your bedtime book. I’ll be in in a minute.” Geralt said, pouring the warm milk into a plastic My Little Pony cup.

“I want Jask.” Ciri declared form where she was trying to force the crayons back into their box by the (relatively small) handful, Causing both adults to stop what they’d been doing and stare at one another. This was new.

“You sure you don’t want daddy?” Jaskier asked, looking to Geralt for some sign as to what he should do.

“You do better funny voices. Daddy’s all sound the same.”

It took everything Jaskier had not to burst out laughing at that as he took in the minute eye twitch from the other man at that statement, “Geralt?”

Geralt nodded, “Mind if I stay and listen? You know how much I love The Gruffalo.”

Jaskier snorted and felt a surge of fondness. The lies we tell for our children.

It ended up being a joint effort, with Geralt guest starring as The Gruffalo “On account of you being so, well...gruff.” and admitting to a slightly too smug looking Jaskier and a mostly asleep Ciri that “Yes, Jaskier does better voices for everyone else. Especially Mouse.”

"Everything ok? You’ve gone all quiet on me.” Jaskier said from where he had his head in Geralt’s lap as they watched some mindless Netflix show. “I didn’t overstep did I?” He was suddenly frantic, his anxieties bubbling back up to the surface now that he didn’t have a performance and an audience to focus on, “I know you probably just said yes so things wouldn’t be awkward. I probably should have told her no and come up with an excuse but how can anybody say no to that face-“

“Jaskier. It’s fine, honestly.” Geralt said, rubbing his hands up and down Jaskier’s arm in a way he knew calmed him, “I’ve built up something of an immunity to Ciri’s puppy eyes. I would’ve said no if I had a problem with it. I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“About how I might have a question for Ciri.”

The next morning saw Jaskier seeing both of them off with a hug (also accompanied by fishing a stray cheerio out of Ciri’s hair which he had been too tired to question) before heading back to his city apartment and his job as a music tutor.

“Ciri?” Geralt asked, putting her school backpack by the door as he knelt down to help her button up her coat, “You know how Aiden is Uncle Lambert’s boyfriend?"

It had slowly been killing Jaskier not to check his phone as soon as the text notification came through but he was nothing if not professional and he would not check his phone when he was in the middle of a lesson. Thank the Gods he did wait as he was prettu sure he gave his retreating student a minor heart attack with the squeal he let out at Geralt’s message:

‘Ciri has been proudly announcing to her classmates this morning that Jaskier is her daddy’s boyfriend. Much disappointment from the single mums.’

[incorrect-quotes-at-random]

Jaskier: *About to do something incredibly stupid*

Geralt: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

[rhythmiccicada]

Geralt is convinced that he only helps Jaskier out and keeps him out of trouble because the consequences are much worse.

He wants to fuck a lady or lord in wedlock? Tried that (more than) once and Geralt had to take down a pack of seven drowners to convince the spouse to keep Jaskier alive.

He makes sure Jaskier puts dry clothes on after a fall in a lake? That’s because a sick Jaskier is so so bad and somehow even with a sore throat he talks more.

But eventually the annoyance fades and slowly, so slowly, time softens the doting he does without much thought. Geralt keeps Jaskier warm even before he complains. Geralt steps in front of Jaskier so he won’t scream.

Someone points it out, eventually. Ciri, probably, but when she asks him why he treats Jaskier like a lover, Geralt almost throws himself off the mountain’s side. It’s ridiculous and he has just gotten used to caring for this helpess and annoying creature that has latched onto him and refuses to shake off.

Geralt doesn’t stop taking care of him.

And if he can’t find the contempt that was there before? Well that’s not for anyone else to know.

[thedemonofcat]

Originally, Jaskier was a witcher who had neither the desire nor the skill for the profession. One day, he met a Viscount named Julian, who happened to look exactly like him.

Julian, seeking adventure, proposed that they trade places, with the plan to switch back eventually. However, Julian was killed before they could do so.

Deciding not to return to his life as a witcher, Jaskier chose instead to become a bard. In this new role, he eventually met Geralt, all the while striving to keep his true identity a secret.

[islenthatur]

I commissioned @tishawish to draw my Mark of a Lark Universe, Bear Witcher!Jaskier and oh, oh how do I love this! Look at the emotion in his eyes as he stares at his Medallion... Fuck yes I love this!