#witcher Jaskier

[underpreparedbard]

I just think he’s neat

[icpe]

Do you think Dandelion would get along with Wheatley from Portal 2? 🤔

[scrimblyscrorblo]

Drawing post Rare Species Jaskier singing to the village kids <33

[thesleepy1]

I can't decide if I like Dad! or Uncle! Jaskier better, but either way, I love him and Ciri.

[scrambleddragonegg]

jaskier: *kills a man for daring to grab ciri* i haven’t done that in a while…

ciri: jaskier— you— what—

jaskier: no time my dear, GERALT!

geralt: take a sword since you apparently know how to use it

jaskier: ah shit

yennefer: i’d laugh if it weren’t awful that i never knew this

jaskier: what? you never knew that i killed the man who dared hurt my child surprise?

geralt/ciri: your WHAT

jaskier: oh yeah! i wonder if he’s still alive! he better be after all the trouble i went through to keep him that way

yennefer: you ALSO have a child surprise?

jaskier: well he isn’t a child anymore, but yes

jaskier: this is why i told you you were making a mistake by never going back, geralt. i know what it’s like, especially when you called the law as a joke

~somewhere else~

aiden: *sneezes* fuck dad’s talking about me again

lambert: ???

aiden: well, i am his child surprise, but i call him dad as a joke

lambert: ?????

aiden: he did kill some guys for me though… maybe he does love me?

aiden: but why leave guxart to raise me then?

lambert: i’m too sober for this

[princessslolly]

When you’re spreading the good word

[cha-mij]

Joey Batey writing for Jaskier...

"My love for you will nev'r abatе

For these memorries will never fade

This flow'r you left behind

A sign of endless love

Resigned will never die

But do you know why

Because my fair Etariel

This flow'r's not damp with dew

But damp with tears, tears of you

Enchanted flowers will never die"

Meanwhile Joey Batey writing for TAD:

"And in years to come, you'll wander to the place up on our hill

And then you'll cry to our painted sky, "I loved him then, I love him still!"

And you'll strew some sage and lilies and roses where I rot

Of all the flowers you picked, I knew you would forget

Forget-me-nots"

I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times. That man really is Jaskier in real life.

[eskelhashugetitties]

Girlfriend say something normal about joey batey challenge part two. (Failed)

[shy-urban-hobbit]

"I'm telling you Geralt, my songs are definitely working."

"A few contracts not skimping on payment isn't proof Jaskier. It's coincidence." Geralt replied as he stuffed his newly purchased supplies into Roach's saddlebag. After two years, he didn't need to look to know the bard was probably doing his uncanny impression of a landed trout. His default expression when he thought himself gravely offended.

"Oh hoho. So it's proof you want? Fine, I'll get you proof you old cynic - wait, I'm here calling you old, how old are you? I know Witchers age differently but it's all so contradictory. I remember one text claiming you aged backwards. Backwards!"

Geralt was blessedly distracted from Jaskier's tangent by a small tug on his cloak causing him to look behind him and then down.

A small, tear stained face with huge, liquid brown eyes looked up at him. The hand that wasn't clutching Geralt's cloak fisted in the skirt of a green dress as she shuffled her small, booted feet. Witcher and child stared at one another and even Jaskier had fallen silent.

"Are you the White Wolf?" She asked in a small voice.

Geralt could only nod in response, keeping an eye and both ears out for angry adults about to accuse him of kidnapping.

"I can't find my Papa." She sniffled, voice trembling and eyes welling up.

He felt himself slip into Witcher mode, trying to think what could be snatching people from a crowded town in the middle of the day, "What do you mean you can't find him, has he gone missing or-"

"Sweetheart, do you mean you got separated from your Papa in the market?" Jaskier gently interjected before Geralt could start fully interrogating her. The girl gave a small nod, turning her attention to the bard now kneeling in the dirt next to her.

Geralt felt his face heat up. Right. Just a lost child. That was also a possible (and the most logical) explanation.

"It's ok, we'll help you find him. Won't we Geralt?" Jaskier's tone of voice leaving no room for argument.

It turned out that Jaskier's idea of helping was having the girl perch on Geralt's shoulders and scan the top of the crowd for her father while he stood playing silly little dittys to keep her from crying again. Geralt holding onto her shins lightly and trying to ignore the mess being made on his cloak by muddy feet.

"I see him! Papa! Papa!"

Geralt tightened his grip slightly as her weight shifted with her frantic waving. Waiting until he was clearly making his way over to them before setting her gently back on the ground.

"Mika! Oh thank the God's." He turned his attention to the two men, his eyes widened as he took Geralt in fully.

"You're-"

"Hmmm."

Geralt tried to hide his surprise as the man grasped his hand in a firm if slightly clammy grip. "My thanks Wolf. I swear, if I went home without her my wife would make sure I shared the same fate as that Hag from the song of yours." He said, smiling awkwardly at his own attempt at humour, "Come on Mika, say goodbye. Oh, here."

He reached into his satchel and pulled something out. Geralt could smell warm sugar as he handed it over. "It's not much, but I don't know a single person who doesn't like cake. I could do with cutting down myself." He said, patting his own slight paunch before taking his daughters hand with a final "Thank you." Mika turning back to give a wave which they both returned before the two of them disappeared into the crowd.

"What?" Geralt asked as they left the town. The bard hadn't stopped grinning at him like the cat who'd got the canary.

"Nothing. It just, the timing and everything. Seems Destiny agreed with me for once. The songs are making a difference."

"Hmm." Geralt fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Oh don't give me that." Jaskier said, swatting Geralt in the side as he unwrapped the package Mika's father had given them, "You saw as well as I did there were plenty of town guards around but she went to you. She wanted you. Oooh, maybe this would be good for a new song. The Gentle Wolf! Yes I- hey! "

"No cake for you until you stop." Geralt stated, popping a piece into his own mouth to hide his smile.

[jaskier-cult]

human witcher jaskier

imagine, for a second, witcher Jaskier ... who isn't actually a witcher, but he's trying his damned hardest at it.

after he splits from Geralt at the mountain, people keep recognising him as "the witcher's bard," and they think the witcher isn't far behind him. they give him contracts and ask him for help, except ... well, Geralt isn't here, is he? but witchers are a dying breed. how many more people will die before an actual witcher will finally meander into town? Jaskier can't just turn away people in need!

so, what does he do?

he puts down his precious lute, picks up a silver sword, and he uses the long-ago sword lessons he learned as a noble's son to dispatch the nekker's nest.

he employs his own skills and uses the knowledge he gained from Geralt over the years. and he almost dies and gets hurt really badly, but the job is done! he actually did it! and when he goes to confirm the kill with the alderman, he lies and says that Geralt is tending to his wounds while Jaskier picks up the money.

this creates a dangerous pattern of Jaskier unwittingly picking up contracts when given them, even fighting off larger monsters sometimes. he eventually stops lying about Geralt being around and just takes on contracts himself. this creates rumors that travel fast, about a human taking on witcher contracts, and succeeding. and let's just say, actual witchers? well, they're mighty curious about this little human parading around as one of them.

[underpreparedbard]

WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

[couldpolyamorysavethem]

GERALT, JASKIER, and YENNEFER from THE WITCHER

Justification:

"All three get along well together, and Jaskier’s loneliness could easily be solved if Yen and Geralt just invited him into the relationship. He adds a silliness and openness that is lacking from Geralt and Yen’s relationship" - @teddybarebones

[theblueraven]

AO3 Fic Masterlist

The Witcher:

A cat! In every sense of the word

Jaskier finds a cat that is not all it seems

In the reflection of a cat's eye -- Jaskier & Aiden (Familial)

Julek (Later Jaskier) stole a kid from the cat school. After both presume eachother dead they have to go through the world and survive.

What I deserve -- Young Vesemir x Jaskier

Jaskier is transported 100 years in the past and immediatly finds an injured witcher. luckly this one seems to like him.

Lady of the Lake

One shot form a contract mention in 'What I deserve' with a young!Vesemir.

Star wars:

Clones are People not Property

Anakin realises that Palpatin is a bad person and has a emotional breakdown.

To rewrite the nighmares (or the 1000 year old sith plan) with your dick -- Cody x Obi-wan (EXPLICIT SMUT)

Cody is getting nightmars of Obi-wan dying due to the chips and accidentally rewrites order 66.

Wild Child

Young Child Obi-wan finds himself with the true mandalorians and causes some problems.

Another day to freeze, another day to fall another day to fly

Obi-wan has a panic attack after gettign back from Mela/daan and Qui-gon helps him calm down and feel better.

Ring Around the Rosie -- Fox x Quinlan Vos

Quinlan is stuck in a time loop and draggs Fox into it. Fox trys to end it (ambuguous ending)

The Obelisk -- Obi-wan Kenobi x Jaster Mereel x Kal Skirata

Obi-wan is transported into a diffrent timeline where the Mandalorian empire never fell.

Corrupted Chips -- Obi-wan Kenobi x COmmander Cody x Alpha-17

Five years after the fall of the republic the clones are still in use. The chips -never designed to last so long- have started to breakdown and corrupt themselves.

Gravity Falls

30 Years of Wilderness

Oneshots of Feral Ford and his famliy trying to help him adapt.

Axolotl Sightings

Oneshots of various Gravity falls Charecters meeting the Axolotl when they need it. Not that they know they just meet a god.

Will be updated as I write more

[incorrect-quotes-at-random]

Jaskier: *About to do something incredibly stupid*

Geralt: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

[scrambleddragonegg]

cat! jaskier who was at the witcher tournament but got cursed human by a mage and finally makes it to kaer morhen only for vesemir to recognize him (he was hiding with geralt so when guxart and vesemir got out of jail he met the old wolf) and be so pleased that one of guxart’s kits are still alive (other than aiden) and jaskier just melts into a puddle right there and then because finally someone recognized him again since even his own brothers and sisters didn’t (they would have, he was scared)

vesemir: you’ve grown quite a bit since the tournament, kit

jaskier: *unintelligible whining*

geralt: *confused pikachu face*

geralt: wait JULIAN?

jaskier: it’s almost like i introduced myself that way???

lambert: so we’ve all got cats except for eskel, huh?

vesemir: *grumbles*

eskel: AND I’M OKAY WITH THAT I’VE HEART THE STORIES

aiden: you’re alive??? YOU BASTARD?!

jaskier: *jazz hands while he dodges throwing knives*

ciri: wait so you’re a witcher?!

jaskier: i mean… not really anymore?

vesemir: yes, he’s a witcher. he’s always been like this, so i’m not surprised he ended up a bard too

ciri: both my dads are witchers?!?!

geralt: *spits out his drink*

jaskier: cirilla, i’m not—

ciri: tell me you’re not my dad, i DARE you

jaskier: you’re worse than aiden how is this possible

aiden: so i hear i’m your brother now!

ciri: *accepting that she made the family tree wonky by forcibly adopting jaskier* but you’re also my uncle since you and lambert are together

jaskier: wait then is lambert my son-in-law AND my brother-in-law?

yenn: that was the case before ciri made you her other father, but yes

ciri: *about to drop the biggest bomb on them* thanks for agreeing, mom!

yenn:

jaskier:

geralt:

jaskier: well, you were my wife before geralt was my partner

yenn: that’s a lie and you know it

jaskier: he barely tolerated me and you know it

yenn: he loved you before the djinn he’s just an idiot!

geralt: *watching them bicker* why???

ciri: i learned to cause chaos from my brother-in-law!

vesemir: you were raised by calanthe, this has been in you the entire time

ciri: but i didn’t think grandfathers were supposed to tell ALL of my secrets!

vesemir: *nearly tearing up* after raising this lot you have none, child

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

I see your power bottom Jaskier and your service top Geralt and raise you needy top Geralt and service bottom Jaskier.

Geralt Needs and Jaskier is willing always. Long day? Maybe Jaskier lays there and lets Geralt go to town. Desperate and wanting Geralt and sweet understanding Jaskier who is getting ruined and yet still present to pet Geralt's hair and murmur sweet nothings to him. Geralt finishes and he can't pull out. The smell and heat of Jaskier is so warm and kind and moving is heartbreaking to think of. And Jaskier sings a lullaby and cradles him close and Geralt falls asleep.