#witch club satan band

[heavymetalivneedle]

Witch playlist (metal, noise & experimental, etc)

[lou-struck]

Bigger Bling

Mammon x reader

Wc:1.9k

~Mammon can’t stand to look at that damn promise ring Lucifer gave you any longer.

a/n: This is a loose sequel to this Lucifer One-Shot HERE (You don’t have to read it but If you want to go ahead)

It's shiny

It's expensive 

And it's BIG!

Mammon's deep blue eyes glare down at the stunning promise ring on your finger. The very one Lucifer had bought for you all those months ago. As it rests on that special finger, the Demon determines that he has never hated a gem more in his life. The deep red garnet with the black-gold band looks like something his brother would choose for you. 

He really hates that.

"Mc, you should take that thing off and Let the Great Mammon give you a real rock." he pouts, his tanned fingers boredly toying with the sparkling gem on your finger. 

You only laugh and ruffle the Demon's white hair with your unembellished hand. "Mammon, I can't do that. This ring is very important to me. How would Lucifer feel if I took his gift off?" 

The Demon's cheeks turn a dusty pink color as he tries to hide your effect on him with his hands.

"Who cares what he thinks?" he mutters, "I want to give ya somethin' even better so you'll be dyin' to take that old ring off."

That's it!

Mammon's eyes light up as the cogs in his head start to turn with a not-so-evil scheme. 

All he has to do to get you to take off that cheap little ring is to buy you something even better. It will be gold, and shinier and will cost even more Grimm than what his older brother had spent on you. 

He turns towards the door, using his insane speed to bolt before you have a chance to say goodbye to him. He doesn't notice the look of confusion on your face as he shuts the double doors behind him with a conniving grin. 

With you out of sight, Mammon has the alone time he needs to revel in his brilliance. He had just made a killing from selling some of the gifts that were just sitting in Asmo's closet of offerings from his fan clubs. 

His brother really has no idea how much of a fortune he is sitting on…

Nevertheless, Mammon reaches into his wallet and pulls out Goldie. The credit card seems to shake in apprehension of the Demon's upcoming shopping trip to only the best jewelry shops the Devildom has to offer. 

~

It's been a long day at RAD, and without Mammon's company, the day seemed to go by even slower than normal. After he walked out on you this morning, you didn't see him for the rest of the day.

After talking to a few lesser demons you realized that he didn't show up for any of his other classes either. And as you are sent to his voicemail box for the nth time today, your heart begins to ache in worry that your Avatar of Greed has somehow gotten himself into some kind of trouble.

Twisted scenarios of the Demon being chased by witches or undead debt collectors churn your gut throughout your walk home. As you let yourself in through the massive double doors, your weary mind replays your last interaction with him before he left. 

You fiddle with the ring on your finger and wonder what was it about the gem on your finger that got him so upset?

Your good-natured worrying begins to boil under your skin. When you notice that he's not in the living room with the others, those feelings only increase.

Clear your throat, gaining the attention of the three conscious demons in the room. Belphie, the fourth, is fast asleep, resting his head on his twin's lap. Lucifer is off at the castle doing some work with Diavolo. And Levi is up in his room, where he has been working his way through a new game since last night. "Hey, have any of you guys seen Mammon anywhere?" 

Satan looks up from his book briefly and gives you a smile. "Thankfully, no. Without his jabbering, I've been able to make some sufficient progress in my book."

You roll your eyes lightheartedly at the blond's remark but look to the others in hope they have a different answer for you. 

Asmo sees the concern on your features and tries to comfort you with an embrace. The sweet scent of his cologne soothing you a bit. "Sorry, Hon, I haven't seen him since breakfast. But I'm sure he'll come back soon. In the meantime, how about I take your mind off things?" The playful suggestiveness in his tone makes you giggle as you look over 

"Mmnnnother two., Breakfast." Beel hums dreamily as he imagines the Bufo Egg quiche Asmo baked for you all this morning. You can tell from the little stream of drool that trickles from the corner of his , That he will be of little help to you. 

Belphie blinks up at you sleepily, stretching his arms out lethargically as he sits upward. "Mammon?" he yawns. "I saw him earlier when Beel and I were walking home. He was out shopping and looked strangely happy. 

"We did?" Beel asks, coming out of his food-related daze. "When? I didn't see him."

"Probably because you were trying to sniff out the Devil Dog vendor." Belphie snorts before turning his attention back to you and gives you a sleepy smile. "He's just messing around somewhere. He'll be back soon."

As if on cue, you hear the front door burst open. Mammon calls your same in a sing-song voice from the entrance as the others groan. Satan huffs and puts a cat-shaped bookmark in the novel he is reading. "There goes my quiet afternoon. I'm gonna go to my room and finish this."

The Avatar of Wrath gets up and pads quickly out the door just as Mammon strides in with a pep in his step. A small gift bag in his hand as he blinds you with his pearly white smile. He looks elated, which kinda irks you since you have spent the better part of the afternoon concerned for his well-being.

What are ya doin' Mc?" the white-haired Demon asks, as if you are the one who has evaded him all day long.

"Wondering where you have been all day, Mammon?" You respond back exasperatedly. "You just got up and left me this morning and didn't show up for any of your other classes. I thought you got yourself in trouble or kidnapped by witches… again." you mutter that last part under your breath, but Mammon seems too excited to notice. 

"Course you were worried bout the Great Mammon," he laughs, slinging an arm around you comfortably. "That's why yer such a good human."

"Mammon, seriously, Where were you?" 

There is a twinkle in his eyes and a faint dusting of crimson on his tanned skin as he looks around the room at his brothers, who are not-so-subtly listening in on the conversation. "Lemme show ya somewhere private."

He takes your left hand but quickly jolts and releases it when he comes into contact with your ring. He takes your right one instead, and you notice how sweaty his hands are. He walks you silently down the hallway and up the stairs until he gets you to the safety of his bedroom. 

He sits with you on his plush bed and begins to ruffle through the tissue paper of his gift bag before pulling out a cubic, black, crushed velvet box. 

The size throws you off a bit since it is roughly the size of a child's shoe box. 

Far bigger than any kind of jewelry box you have ever seen. 

Not even the cases Diavolo uses when transporting the crown Jewels are this big. Your curiosity and confusion blend together in a strange concoction as Mammon sets the box in your hands. "Mammon, what is this?" you ask nervously. 

He is practically wiggling in your seat in anticipation "Jus' open it, you'll see."

Spurred but his excitement, you crack open the box to reveal the biggest freaking diamond you have ever seen in your life. The gem is the size of a softball and is tethered to a thin golden band at the bottom. 

You blink at your reflection in the facets of the gem, unsure of what to say. "I-is this a."

"Isn't it amazin'?" he gushes. "The biggest ring ya ever seen?"

So it is a ring…

"It's certainly the biggest." you parrot, unsure if you should take the ring out of the box or put it in some kind of museum. "This must've cost a fortune. How did you pay for this?"

"Oh it's nothin'," he laughs with a nonchalant wave of his hand. "It'll take me a few hundred years to pay the thing off, but only the best for my human." It takes both of his hands to remove the heavy ring from its cushion. The thin golden band looks like it is bending under the ring's weight. "Come on, you should take that old thing off and put this baby on instead."

You realize that he is gesturing to your promise ring, and everything clicks into place. 

Mammon wanted to give you something so special so you would remove the ring Lucifer had given you all those months ago. That ring is invaluable; it's a promise, a thank you for the love you have given to him and his brothers since you arrived in the Devildom. It's not something you can just discard.

But Mammon must think you wear it as a sign you love Lucifer more than him. "Oh Mammon," you murmur, placing your hand on his shoulder. "You know I love you, right?"

When he realizes that you aren't going to throw your older ring to the floor in disgust, his face falls. He's confused and looks at you like a kicked puppy. "B-but this one is better; i-it costs ten-no a hundred times more than the other one."

"It's not the price of the ring that makes it special," you say softly, gently tracing your finger over the massive diamond Mammon had gotten you. "This is beautiful, but it's too much."

"I jus' wanted to show ya that I'm yer first. I love ya Mc." he sighs. "And I wanted to give ya somethin special so everyone would know it."

"I know you do, and I love you." gently, you close the box and hand it back to him. "Even without the Diamond to end all diamonds." 

"I know ya do." he sighs, bumping you playfully with his shoulder. "But do ya really want me to return it?" 

"It's for the best," you chuckle. "I wouldn't want you to be in debt."

"It was a lot of Grimm," he says, chuckling nervously. "I swear Goldie was cryin' when I pulled her out t' pay but yer worth every bit."

"I'm sure she was," you laugh. "But I do appreciate the gesture. How about we take it back together."

"Yer the best mc," the Demon says eagerly, giving you a heartfelt smile, "How about we pick out another piece for ya. Like a bracelet or somethin?" He sees the slight apprehension on your face and places his hand over your own. "It doesn't have to be crazy expensive if ya don't want it ta be' I jus' wanna give ya somethin' so ya know how much the Great Mammon cares about ya."

Swayed by this little compromise, you find yourself agreeing to the Demon's request. Standing from the bed and taking his hand.

A few hours later, you come back wearing a simple yet elegant gold bracelet. Giggling when Mammon marches you around the Devildom to show everyone the special piece of jewelry he got for you.

Tagging: @enchantedforest-network

[darkfictionjude]

Happy Halloween!

(For those who celebrate!)

I have nothing special written for this occasion but let me tell you what the Crown + ROs + the siblings have dressed up as in the years before.

MC: very uninspired — a ghost. Literally a white sheet with eye holes. Or even more sad — a pine-cone. Due to this depressing state of affairs on Halloween ‘89 Nia made them dress up as Freddy Krueger.

Imre: to the surprise of no one he spent most of the 70s and all of the 80s as Indiana Jones. Thanks once again to Nia she managed to get him to agree to dress up as Rick Blaine from Casablanca from ‘90-‘92 and in ‘93 as Vito Corleone.

Nia: now she will never be caught dead wearing a costume two years in row. She’s done it all: princess, pirate, witch, fairy, Shirley temple, Andie Walsh from Pretty in pink, Sandy from Grease, Madonna, Cher, Tina Turner and in ‘93 she went as Morticia.

Lorcan: everyone always thought he was wearing a costume but those are literally his clothes. With the satanic panic of the 80s people did think he was dressed up as a devil worshipper. He did dress up as Marty Mcfly in like ‘91.

Salvatore: he was the type of dress up as all the gangsters, Michael, Tony, jimmy Conway from goodfellas. After dressing up as Travis bickle from taxi driver his mother only ever allowed him to dress up as a businessman.

Orla: whatever popular female movie character of that year was that’s what she dressed up as. Claire from the breakfast club, Ellen ripley, Lydia deetz, Princess Leia, sally from when Harry met sally, Sarah Connor, Lorraine mcfly.

Percival: he would just throw on a wig, get a band t-shirt and say he was whatever rockstar come to his head at that moment whether he looked like them or not — iggy pop, Jim Morrison, mick jagger, Freddie, Bowie, what-have-you.

Enjoy the night 💜

[black-metal-artists]

🔥 Unleash the Infernal Fury with Witch Club Satan! 🔥 Hailing from the dark, icy realms of Norway, Witch Club Satan is here to summon the unholy trinity of Black Metal, Feminism, and Witchcraft. Formed in 2021, this fearsome trio is ready to incinerate the patriarchy and scorch the mundane with their incendiary riffs and spellbinding performances. 🌑🎸 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/witchclubsatan Picture owned by : Stian Andersen Current Members: Victoria F. S. Røising - Bass Nikoline Spjelkavik - Guitars Johanna Holt Kleive - Vocals, Drums Themes: 🔥 Feminism 🧙‍♀️ Witchcraft ⚔️ Sociopolitical Rage Get ready to be consumed by their hellish hymns and join the coven. Witch Club Satan isn’t just a band; it’s a revolution. Follow their infernal journey and let their dark melodies possess your soul. 👹 Check their music out and prepare to be bewitched! 👹 🎶 Listen now on all major streaming platforms. 📺 Watch their latest video clip on YouTube and dive into the abyss. 📅 Catch them live and experience the chaos firsthand - concert dates and locations will be shared soon. Stay tuned! 🔥 Join the Black Metal Rebellion. 🔥 #WitchClubSatan #BlackMetal #FeministMetal #Witchcraft #SociopoliticalRage #InfernalMusic #JoinTheCoven #MetalRevolution

[thisaintascenereviews]

Witch Club Satan - S/T

I’m gonna be real for a minute — most black metal sucks. Maybe I’ve said that before, but I don’t like a lot of black metal, especially the 90s classic run that so many metal nerds cream their jeans over. Most of those bands are racist, sexist, and homophobic right-wing extremists, but even then, the music itself is poorly produced and annoying drivel that sounds like it was recorded on a potato. It sounds bad, so I don’t know why metalheads love it. Maybe it was because of the time, and metalheads are nostalgic for the “good old days,” but times are a-changing, grandpa. Black metal, along with metal itself, is a lot more unique these days, and metal has evolved. Metal is a lot more inclusive these days, especially with a lot more women and POC are in the genre, but black metal is still slow to catch up.

Enter Norwegian trio Witch Club Satan with their self-titled and self-released debut album that was released a few months ago. I randomly found them while looking on Facebook, and the article about them from Metal Hammer was fascinating, so I wanted to hear the record itself. I’ve spent the last week with it, and I’ve got thoughts on this album, but they’re all positive. I don’t know if this record is a top ten album of the year for me, but it’s an album worth hearing if you’re not hugely into black metal and want something more refreshing than your average corpse-painted Nazis. This band is composed of three college-age women, and both the lyrics and aesthetic are very feminine, which is a great thing.

The lyrics talk about things like sexual assault, feminine rage, sexism, and just what it’s like being a woman, versus talking about Satan, or stupid stuff like that (a lot of which feels very played out, especially within black metal). Their sound is where the album falters slightly, partially because the first half is pretty generic black metal, complete with shrill vocals and tremolo riffs, but the second half is where this album gets interesting. It has a more atmospheric sound, and there are some clean vocals that pop up from time to time. It just feels like a random turn when the album switches up, but that’s not to say that the first half is bad. It’s pretty good, albeit basic black metal that doesn’t offer anything else other than standard riffs and vocals, but it’s done well enough.

This is a debut project from relatively young women, so it makes sense that this may not be perfect. I happen to enjoy this thing quite a bit, but it does get slightly stale after awhile, especially when the first half just isn’t as interesting. This band has potential, though, and I can’t wait to hear what they do next, because if the whole album was weird, interesting, and unique, it might have made more of an impact. In the meantime, this is a solid album, so I’d say give this a listen, even if won’t necessarily blow your mind. It’s an interesting little album from a band that’s surely to fly under the radar.

[multitudecontainer420]

some came running, kiss me stupid, seven year itch, witness for the prosecution, ace in the hole, bells are ringing, bad & the beautiful, the cobweb, harvey girls, the band wagon, undercurrent, brigadoon, cabin in the sky, till the clouds, ziegfeld follies, ziegfeld girl, on a clear day, yentl, my sister eileen, fashions of 1934, a free soul, sirk, lubitsch, 3 women, faerie tale theater, storyteller, dreamchild, hotel ozone, boy & dog, lost weekend, quiet earth, road games, duel, the car, death race, turkey shoot, dementia, the terror, little shop, hg lewis, final progamme, punishment park, two lane blacktop, vanushing point, figures in a landscape, boom, go between, secret cereminy, virginia woolf, suddenly last summer, umezu, rampo, beast from haunted cave, night tide, black lagoon, dogs in space, breaking glass, m tezuka, sakuran, picnic, swallowtail butterfly, memories of matsuko, im a cyborg, astaire, a miller, k grayson, dolores gray, telegraph hill, pal joey, busby esther, tourneur, cukor, the blue bird, borzage, ulmer, w castle, invisible man, litte shop, the terror, dementia, bedazzled, bed sitting room, casino royale, modesty blaise, bava, magic christian, sheila, myra breckin, sextette, demy, w klein, anna, les idoles, les poneyttes, georgy girl, beat girl, motorcycle, sister george, skidoo, just a gigolo, russian sf, ikarie, margheriti, queen of earth, field in, alch wedding, satans claw, naschy, frightmare, redemption, metzger, cronen, barker, loved ones, the woman, martyrs, x, final girls, ghostwatch, blair witch 2, raw, thelma, shiva baby, clue, kahn, bogdo, mafu, borden, breaking the, lovecrimes, fassbinder, jarman, russell, waters, drop dead gorgeous, debs, bring it on, roeg. barry lyndon, yorgos, greenaway , citizen dog, wayward cloud, boommee, the boys in the band, invisible waves, magic, 9 to 5, the trouble with harry, postcards from the edge, steel magnolias, the battle of mary kay, best little whorehouse, stick it, jawbreaker, death becomes her, hag horror, lang, welles, superman, popeye, in dreams, images, cotton club, de palma, pennies from heaven, into the woods, sweeney todd, devils backbone, they shoot horses, bloody mama, scorcese, dassin, ossie davis, crooklyn, cleopatra jones, book of numbers, night train murders, last house on dead end, spider baby, streets of fire, wizards, point blank, dirty mary, peckinpah

[bl00ddrink3r]

Witch Club Satan are actually really good, yeah cringe name but if you listen to shit like Mayhem you don't get to talk about cringe. Good band, give em a listen

[dahlaverie]

It all began when my friend and I decided to become witches. While my friend was into nature, rocks, and herbs, I got intrigued by black magic, mysticism, and Satanism. And, seeing through the eyes of a twelve-year-old, what could be more mystic and satanic than an emo or a goth. That's how I got to know Thomas.

I used to hang out alone at an abandoned magazine, reading, drawing, or writing. On one March's day, I saw a group of said individuals, and I was indeed intrigued. One of them, my future soulmate, had an acoustic guitar and was playing and singing something. Something I fell in love with the first notes, and on the first sight. I walked right to them and asked what was it. And that's how I got to know Nirvana.

We exchanged numbers, and I started to spend all of my free time with them. They made me feel like I've finally met my tribe. A cult to join. I was accepted as I was and encouraged to be who I want to be, something I hid from the rest of the world in fear of being mocked. In that life, I was so carefree. They made me laugh so that my cheeks hurt. We all shared the passion for music. We loved to play, sing, listen, discuss, and understand.

The boys had a band, Fucking Mayhem Club. They covered mostly Nirvana, Seether, and Alice in Chains. I loved being in their rehearsal garage and listening to them play. I asked if they would teach me to play guitar, and Thomas said yes. We spent hours and hours practicing, and I started writing lyrics, which they would make into a whole song. We strived to be the next big grunge-stars.

Thomas was my home that I never even realized I was missing until I found him. Our love grew, and soon, we were inseparable. Years went by, and we had our own little lovebubble where I was safe from the outside world. I've never felt as calm and at peace as I felt with him, and I thought it was my happily ever after. Thomas really meant it when he said, "until death do us apart." I should have seen the warning signs, but I was too young and naive to really understand what was going on, and Thomas didn't want to burden me. After six months, Thomas was gone, and I was left with nothing but memories.

I tried to stay in touch with rest of the Fucking Mayhem Club, but we had lost our leader, and it didn't take long for the whole pack to fall apart. Music was the one thing that kept us together, and Thomas took that with him. Without our music, we were nothing. I was astray and alone. That's how I got to know depression and drugs.

[jettastic-blog]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: 🗡Lilith Vamp Choker O-Ring Chain Tripple Ankh Gothic Vampire Dagger Statement.

[breelandwalker]

Hex Positive, Ep. 021 - Witchcraft and Modern Law

Now available wherever you get your podcasts!

As promised, the followup episode is here! This time, I'm digging into witchcraft as it relates to modern law, plus covering a few key 20th-century events that I missed in Episode 20 and some legal codes that may apply to your practice even if they don't deal with witchcraft directly. We'll also be discussing some instances of modern witch hunts that are still occurring in some parts of the world and there are articles you can check out for more information below. (Massive trigger warning for violence and abuse in the ones discussing modern witch hunts.)

(Incidentally, the information I discovered while researching modern witch persecutions is EXACTLY why I get so cheesed off when some privileged politician whines about being the target of "a witch hunt." Like buddy, you don't even know the meaning of the word. Having to face the consequences of your own actions isn't a witch hunt. That's just cosmic justice serving up a long-overdue headslap.)

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Witch With Me - Book Club and 2021 Witch Census

Samhain Witch Market Diversity Richmond, Richmond VA Sunday, October 17, 2021, 3pm-9pm Indoor/Outdoor, Masks Required Facebook Event Page

SOURCES

Folk Magic - Powwow: History and Practices (LearnReligions.com)

Analysis | In Canada, pretending to be a witch is a punishable offense (Washington Post, Oct. 31, 2018)

Victoria clears witches for takeoff (The Sydney Morning Herald, July 21, 2005)

Modern-day witches still facing 'endless abuse and threats' (The Independent, Feb. 09, 2020)

Witch Hunts: a global problem in the 21st century (Deutsche Welle, Oct. 08, 2020)

Chinese 'witches' are banding together after rural Chinese communities ostracise them (AP, South China Morning Post, Jan, 16, 2018)

Why Do Witch Hunts Still Happen? (Smithsonian Magazine, Oct. 30, 2015)

Witch Hunts Today: Abuse of Women, Superstition, and Murder Collide in India (Scientific American, Jan. 11, 2018)

"They Burn Witches Here"; Papua New Guinea: Asia's Fastest-Growing Economy Burns Witches (Huffington Post, Oct. 29, 2015)

Witch Hunts Are Back - And This Time They're Targeting Female Activists (HuffPost Brazil, Nov. 01, 2019)

Witch Trials in the 21st Century (National Geographic, Jan. 21, 2011)

Modern witches are stepping out of the shadow of Germany’s folklore (Sleek Magazine, Apr. 30, 2019)

Wikipedia Article - Rehmeyer's Hollow

Wikipedia Article - Satanic Panic

Wikipedia Article - West Memphis Three

Wikipedia Article - Modern witch-hunts

Wikipedia Article - Witchcraft Suppression Act of 1957

Wikipedia Article - Mpumalanga Witchcraft Suppression Bill

BOOKS AND PODCASTS

America Bewitched: The story of witchcraft after Salem (Owen Davies)

American Hysteria, Eps. 4 & 5 - "Satanic Panic, pt 1 & 2"

BS-Free Witchcraft, Ep. 10 - "The Satanic Panic"

BS-Free Witchcraft, Ep. 32 - "A New Satanic Panic?"

Lore, Ep. 62 - "Desperate Measures"

Morbid Podcast - Ep. 122-125, “The West Memphis Three, pt 1-3”

Sacred Actions: Living the Wheel of the Year though Earth-Centered Sustainable Practices (Dana O'Driscoll)

This episode is sponsored by:

Portland Button Works - http://www.portlandbuttonworks.com

PBW Witch Shop - http://www.PBWwitchshop.com

Global Grey Ebooks - http://www.globalgreyebooks.com

Follow the show on Twitter @hex_podcast for the latest updates! You can also find me as @BreeNicGarran on Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, and Wordpress. For more information on how to support the show and get access to early releases and extra content, visit my Patreon.

Visit my shop to purchase my books and homemade accoutrements for your craft!

Proud member of the Nerd and Tie Podcast Network.

MUSIC CREDITS "Spellbound" & "Miri's Magic Dance" Ads - "Feelin' Good," "March of the Spoons," and "Danse Macabre - Violin Hook" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

[buffyfan145]

Got to Max’s story now for the latest “Stranger Things” book, the short story collection “Hawkins Horrors”, and had no idea it was going to be a version of “The Craft”!!! :D I love that movie and like the way she tied in the Satanic Panic thing and what Eddie went through but about a girl wanting to join a coven of witches. Turns out it’s more of a club pretending to be witches but there’s a monster after them. Really love how it’s about Max really and how much she wants to be similar to El (she even titled it “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”) and it fits too with those of us wondering if Max is going to change or gain abilities too after what Venca did and El trying to save her. Like  how the Eddie becoming a vampire like Kas that Max becomes a witch/sorcerer like El. Also had to laugh at Steve making fun of The Cure and Nancy turning out to be a fan reminded me so much of how I’ve always liked them and other bands that most people wouldn’t think I would. LOL :D Full review will come when I finish.

[kaypeace21]

Do you think that the hellfire club is a D&D group or some sport team or what do you think it is? (BTW big fan of your theories)

I think it’s a d&d club. I talked about it in past posts.I think being about d&d makes sense since the game would foreshadow future plot points- like it did in prior seasons . And the “hellfire club” is even an X-men group relating to the dark Phoenix which was referenced in s1 by Will . And I think they’ll take inspiration from that comic book arc for future seasons too . (So it’s an eastergg) . But, also , being called “the hellfire club” is probably an inside joke with the club members- since in the 80s, adults claimed d&d was about devil worship.)

In Bts photos- one of the members has a ‘Wasp’ pin which is a heavy metal band formed in 1982 -so the club is not so shockingly confirmed to be into rock.Along with d&d (if the leaks are legit) . Makes sense since both things are part of counter culture that was demonized by the “satanic panic” in the 80s. In the 80s. D&d (similar to rock music) was believed to be satanic - so the club name (for the club members)is a joke making fun of these people who think that’s true . But also (as a show is) another dark Phoenix ref . One of the s4 movies ‘paradise lost’  (was about a real life case) of small town teens   who were into punk music, horror movies, stephen king, wore black,  into wicca, and accused of being gay. They were unfairly blamed for ‘ satanic child m**ders (in the woods & near a river). They weren’t guilty . But, because ‘satanic panic’ was still alive and well ...the town’s people used their hobbies/ punk look/ and perceived sexualities as ‘proof” they were guilty. The case was later described as a ‘witch hunt’. Meanwhile the other (more likely suspect) at the time was John “Mark” Byers- who was a hunter, had a thing for hunting knives, religious, admitted to hitting his kids, and was  accused of s**ually abusing his son, shot pumpkins (s2 ref), and sang a song about creating a portal to another world without light , that you could enter via a tree (s1 ref). Years later-after the doc- it’s implied he wasn’t guilty either. But, one of the other victims’ fathers - Terry was assumed to be guilty - he was also was accused of m***esting his son and daughter (by his own family members). Admitted to hitting his wife and kids. And had a police report filed on him - describing breaking into a women’s house , while she was in a tub and trying to attack her. He was also formerly charged for m*rdering one of his wife’s family members- but got away with it claiming self defense). Heck if the names John byers/Terry being in the film/st wasn’t crazy enough- the victims were named Steve, Michael, and Chris byers (luckily ours don’t have that same horrible fate/back stories).

I kind of assume - the d&d club will be looked at suspiciously as teens go missing/ kidnapped/ or maybe found k*lled in the woods/quarry. And the cops/others think they’re “satanic k*llings” and rumors about the d&d club insue. And maybe our teens suspect it’s the demogorgan again. But as a subversion- it isn’t and it’s a human . A human that by ab*sing Will- caused Will to unconsciously create many things including the demogorgan (which in d&d is called the “deep father”) . Also, in s3 they called Will “the devil’s baby” (Aka lonnie is the real “devil” ).And such incidents in the woods/ near the quarry would connect back to s1 demogorgan & Will being found in the quarry. And if paying attention you already noticed s1 demogorgan paralleled Lonnie a lot! So s4 would start bringing things to the surface- in regards to how evil Lonnie really is.Not to mention more hints (I previously posted) that hinted they’ll go with this “ch*ld serial ki##er plot line...

But then again I think it may not be literally Lonnie. My guess: Brenner (who I think was created/based on lonnie) is possibly doing failed experiments of teens to open portals (in the basement of pethurst -like in hellraiser 2) . And dumping failed experiments in the woods/water. A few movies had the d*ad victims have numbers carved in them. And then El/kali team up and maybe sneak into the facility (like in ace Ventura people posing as siblings investigate a m*rder and one fakes being ‘crazy’ to sneak in and find a murderer) . In ‘peanut butter solution’ 2 kids - 1 of them is goth/not american teams up with a girl to find a man named ‘senior ‘who is kidnapping kids. 1 of them also sneaks in and is captured on purpose to investigate. Kali already busted Dottie out of a psych hospital and lucas referenced El being there in s1. Alexi (like el-another alter of Will) watches roadrunner- in that papa bear throws him in a psych facility. And assasains creed/dream warriors - the psychiatric facility was similar to the lab with sensory deprivation tanks, cameras, solitary confinement in dark rooms. We already know 1 new character is against the mistreatment of people at the facility. Also the real pethurst (in Pennsylvania) -known for human rights a*use issues- wasn’t a psych facility (but a place for people with intellectual disabilities). So El being at the psych hospital version in Indianna (and maybe having id herself like I mentioned before -would be a nice ref). And in assasains creed- when the character starts sneaking around investigating - the dr reveals how the character is actual the reincarnation of their ancestor ( brenner tells el she’s an alter of Will’s ). And before that the dr was making that person relive the traumatic past of their past life/other person -which they couldn’t change (sort of like el seeing Billy’s past in s3). Also kali said her and El should team up to face their father- which I think they’ll do. And I’m excited about it!

I still think brenner was created by Will and based on Lonnie so he could be responsible and connected to Will/Jon’s backstory with Lonnie/the Woods. In an abstract way. Like how brenner/Lonnie forced their kids to k*ll animals. Brenner threw El in a dark room/ Lonnie threw Will in a trunk. Brenner’s name being associated with the woods and Lonnie being a hunter , etc.

Also we know s4 involves this dark-storyline involving c**ld m*rders cause of foreshadowing

* Also, mentioned here how in s4 rolling a 11 isn’t actually a good thing and that it’s a callback to Will rolling a 7- in s1. Before things go array.In “paradise lost” when blaming the innocent goth boys someone asks the chief “on a scale 1 to 10 how confident are you? You have the right men?” And he laughs and says “11.”

*And , just for historical context of how ‘metal ‘ and ‘scary ‘ d&d was to nonplayers (in the 80s).

“In 1985, 60 Minutes dedicated a full hour to the supposed connection between D&D, Satanic rites, murders and su*cides . 2 years earlier, Patricia Pulling formed Bothered About Dungeons and Dragons (BADD) . She described D&D as ‘a fantasy role-playing game which leads to demonology, witchcraft, voodoo, murder, r*pe, blasphemy, suicide, assassination, insanity, sex perversion, homosexuality, pr*stitution, satanic type rituals, gambling, barbarism, cannibalism, sadism, desecration, demon summoning, necromantics, divination and other teachings.’ In 1987, Peter Leithart and George Grant published The Catechism of the New Age, a pamphlet where they introduced the idea that D&D was immoral because roleplaying allowed too much freedom for critical thinking, which might lead to heretical ideas. That same year, Chris Pritchard and two friends conspired to murder Pritchard’s stepfather in his sleep, the media ignored the obvious financial motivation and instead focused on the men being in the same D&D group.”

( I think quite a few of those themes will come up in s4/5 - although d&d isn’t the actual cause). It’ll just be a subversion.

[initiumseries]

CAOS Part 3 - review

Uh, okay, so I think by now, we all know this show is terrible. Netflix gives showrunners a lot of creative freedom, and I think, for better writers, you could get some really interesting content, but they just seem to keep giving these assholes who wrote the travesty called Riverdale, so many opportunities to make more shitty television, and I feel like they really deserve to be limited in their ability to create/write if not stopped completely and thrown into a well with Julie Plec.  Anyway, I’ll try to break this down as best as I can into different piles of shit and this will contain spoilers:

Characters

Prudence and Ambrose

So, to be really honest, I watch this show exclusively for Prudence and Ambrose. Because, well, look at them: 

I wish they had more chemistry because they are super hot together, and I still ship it. A young Black couple? On TV? In this sea of shitty interracial relationships? I’ll take it. Anyway, of course, the progression of their relationship is ridiculous and frustrating. Ambrose decides at the last minute, not to kill Father Blackwood because he has a weird time egg thing that they don’t really understand, also he has the twins under some weird mind control for no clear reason, so they stay their hands. It doesn’t make sense, but it becomes clear, Father Blackwood has an insane amount of plot armour and ultimately would have to serve as a vessel for Satan. Father Blackwood uses the manipulated mind of the other weird sister to sic her on the coven, and she ends up killing Dorkus, whom Prudence finds. She then blames Ambrose for not allowing her to kill FB, and they break up. Now...this would kinda make sense, if not for the fact that they trapped one of the pagan witches and forced her to change everyone back, but no one bothered to do anything about the mentally ill witch who you all strapped up for a reason? Lol ok. Seems like an oversight on your part Prudence, but...okay. Clearly manufactured breakups are exhausting, especially since [young] Black couples with no serious relationship dysfunction are now an endangered species. It’s also frustrating because we barely got to see them....*be* together, especially after they returned home. 

Nick & Sabrina

So, I know from the beginning, we were supposed to believe that Nick and Sabrina had that kind of, Bad Guy, seduces the girl Good Girl, luring her into the dark side, hot, intense, passionate relationship. But their lack of chemistry and really shitty acting just made them really dry (which I get into here). I don’t believe them, and I definitely don’t believe that Sabrina would, once again, break a shit ton of rules to get Nick back. I just don’t buy that they had that kind of an intense, desperately in love, kind relationship, because they do not look all that comfortable around each other, much less in love. 

I personally find Sabrina utterly unlikeable as a main character, largely because who IS she? She has no personality, she just does whatever the plot needs her to do in the moment, and the actress makes Sabrina appear smug and unremorseful while she fucks up everyone’s lives. There is a lot of exposition of everyone telling us she’s this power hungry, manipulative character, but we never see that. She just does stuff and everyone is all “Sabrina how could you?!” and there are never, ever any consequences. I would have liked to see her push so hard to get Nick back and the struggle being, sure she wants him back, but mostly she’s doing it because she can. But that’s not what happens. 

So Nick ends up in this weird drug addiction, alcohol, sex demon spiral because he has parts of Satan still in him and it all just falls so flat and lame, because this show is SO bad at pacing, and these actors suck, so nothing is believable. The idea of him scrubbing his club foot, having nightmares, suffering PTSD, is fine, the execution was trash. Nick sees Caliban and Sabrina have one interaction and he’s like WELL, GUESS I GOTTA CHEAT. And just ends up in some S&M situation with sex demons and heavily self medicating, but none of this has any weight, and we don’t really see him...spiralling. He just immediately resorts to these things and it has no real impact on anyone or even him really, and that’s it. 

Harvey and Roz

Uh, they’re probably the most confusing match here, because there is no lead up to their relationship, there’s not suggestion, there’s no pacing. Just BOOM, we’re into each other now. BOOM, Roz is the only sexually active person in her friend group (lol of course the Black girl is sexually active. Gotta maintain white innocence at all costs), so she’s just ready to jump Harvey’s bones any second now. So of course, the show punishes her by having the pagans turn her to stone. And as if that’s not bad enough...

Which I talk about here and here, because honestly I’m just sick of this show’s antiblackness.  Theo & that other guy

So I was watching this unfold like, yeeaahh, they’re gonna make the trans guy get with the enemy aren’t they? And yes, they did. Cool, they didn’t kill him off, but I’m still perplexed at how Theo isn’t even a little upset that this guy was basically sent to infiltrate his friend group and sat by while his people harmed Theo’s friends, and also...used him? Like...we just...are gonna...gloss over that because he changed his mind? Lol ok. Sure.

Mambo Marie and suddenly Zelda?

I...I mean her name is Mambo Marie. I love the idea of Black witches finding Black spirituality and magicks through Vodun and a Hatian Priestess. But they quickly undo that, by ensuring that Mambo Marie only teaches Prudence in the presence of these white witches. And we see her...doing...an African drum circle (eye roll), only to be interrupted by the High Priestess of White Feminism, Zelda Spellman. It quickly devolves into thinly veiled racism where Zelda doesn’t trust Marie because she’s Catholic (says the woman who worships Satan, has an anti Pope and prays to Lilith with the same prayer for Mary mother of Jesus? LOL. Not even unpacking the fact that Vodun is an African spirituality having 0 roots in catholicism WHITE WRITERS). Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Marie and Zelda are a thing for no reason? After the way Zelda treated her? Why did Marie even stay? This isn’t her problem. This is a white witch problem. Okay. That’s too much to unpack. 

Plot

So, my biggest problem with almost all Netflix English programming is that they are so obsessed with aesthetics, and don’t pay enough attention to actual character chemistry, plot, story flow, details, pacing etc. Like...things that actually make stories interesting to watch. So they slap all these people together and throw them into aesthetically pleasing backgrounds, shake it up with so much exposition that nothing actually happens, and are like BEHOLD A STORY. And CAOS is *especially* guilty for this.

First of all those musical breaks were annoying as fuck. Musicals serve 2 story functions: advancing the plot or telling a story. These musical numbers did neither and were honestly ridiculously gratuitous, highly annoying and totally pointless.

What time of year is this? Why are we having pep rallies and how the fuck and when did Sabrina and Roz join the cheeleading squad, and why?

for the aesthetics and not for any real plot reason. It just seems stupid because now I don’t know how much time has passed between Nick going to hell and this, because you’re all handling it like it’s been a few weeks and is still relatively fresh, but suddenly, Theo, Harvey and Roz are in a garage band? You’re a cheerleader? For what? Since when? Why? These choices introduce more questions than they answer and serve no narrative purpose. So much wasted time on shit that doesn’t matter. 

Sabrina is supposed to be fighting Caliban (who is literally the only person she has chemistry with on this show and they killed him bc ofc they did), for her seat on the throne, and yet the trials only seem to come up when it’s convenient, and also seem to be directly related to her dealings with her coven, which is also convenient.  I’m so confused about Satan. His powers come from being a celestial being, and so, because his coven mistreats him he’s like...lol okay, well fuck you guys and goes through all these convoluted small motions to greatly inconvenience them and withdraws his powers? This is so petty and pathetic. Also, what’s the point? He could just wipe them out and start over, instead of skulking around inside FB then suddenly decides to track down Lilith. Again, convoluted. This plot is all over the place. Why does Satan need Sabrina to be Queen of Hell in the first place? He seems perfectly healthy. Why can’t he just rule it? Like...that makes no sense. What is he gonna do? Retire? WHAT is going ON?

How did Sabrina come back in time to herself stuck in stone? Is that trip to Pontius Pilate (lol) supposed to have created a loophole for her to save herself and everyone? This is giving me hardcore Twilight Breaking Dawn vibes, where, the show finally, FINALLY gets interesting, there’s real stakes, shit is actually happening instead of everyone talking about things happening (Hilda ending up killing her fiance was literally the only time I felt something watching this show because it was genuinely sad, and well acted, and Hilda coming through with that doll at the end was pretty disturbing, I’ll give them that), and ofc, Sabrina goes back in time and undoes it all. Lol. Okay. God forbid there be real consequences to anything on this show.

Final thoughts

Once again, the white feminism runs high on this show. They treat this Black Vodun Priestess Marie, like garbage, allude to her “foreign” magic, but Marie is sitting here like “we’re not men, we’re women, let’s work together.” This is why I hate white writers writing for Black characters. Black characters should have Black motivations, and a Black Vodun Priestess, should know that white women and Black women do not have aligned motivations just because they share a gender. Once they started with the bullshit right from her arrival, she should have handed Prudence her card and peaced tf out. Instead she tolerates the isolation, ostracization and thinly veiled racism...and decides to stay, and help. WHY? Marie has gained nothing by sticking around helping these ungrateful ass witches. I honestly would have preferred Prudence asking her to stay to learn more about Vodun, and them building a mentor/mentee type of relationship, especially since Prudence was the one who invited her and stepped to Zelda to defend her. I want(ed) to see that relationship go somewhere. The deliberate denial of healthy Black female friendships on tv is frustrating.

 These witches finally finding their power in their ancestors and I donno, some female creator or whatever, reminds me of white women “finding” wicca and praying to “Gaia”, (reminds me of BTVS s4 when Willow joins the wicca group) which is basically what happened but lol okay whatever. I guess they aren’t satanic witches anymore. Lol, I love how Harvey and Roz and Theo are teenagers, human teenagers, who have lead largely normal teenage lives up until this point, but see their loved ones tortured, deformed or murdered in hell, with basically no residual issues, and are all like, YES, let’s roll up on these adults with shotguns and swords and kill the FUCK outta these people!! That absolutely sounds normal! Like...what? Lol. God this is just so bad.

Also, I’m so confused by this aesthetic choice for Sabrina as Queen of Hell. Like what the fuck. Why is she dressed like a Victorian era queen, with shoulder and a broken rib bodice? What?!

This show is truly awful, this season made no more sense than the last two and now that Prudence and Ambrose aren’t together, I might be done watching. 

-20/10

[allthehorrormovies]

A+1 - A blend of American Pie and Scream, but surprisingly better than that sounds. Outlining the plot would give away the twist, which tips its hand early on, yet ends in a gratifying manner. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Make love, not war.

Alien - A friend remarked how this film likely wouldn’t be made today. It’s shot too dark. It’s quiet, purposefully. There’s no action for much of the first half; more a study in isolated labor and worker exploitation. And there’s not a “star,” outside of teenage dreamboat Harry Dean Stanton. Actors like Sir Ian Holm Cuthbert were selected for their ability, not their stature within Hollywood, as production took place in London. As Robert Ebert said, “These are not adventurers, but workers.” We’re lucky it was made, supposedly, in part because the success of Star Wars pushed the studio to quickly release their own space movie. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Sigourney Weaver is the ultimate Final Girl.

Aliens - The deliberate, slow pace of Alien is replaced by James Cameron’s grandiose action, backed by four times the original budget. Like Terminator 2: Judgment Day, it’s amazing that both films avoid “the disease of more.” Cameron’s characters are too often weighed down by punch-line dialogue, but all the elements together somehow work. Ripley’s character begins to move past being a simple pilot and into a warrior woman, for better and worse. The studio originally tried to write her out of the sequel due to a contract dispute, but Cameron thankfully refused to make the film without her. There are people out there who prefer Aliens to Alien, and that’s fine. They are wrong, but that’s fine. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien³ - David Fincher has famously disowned his directorial debut, citing studio deadlines for its poor quality. Compared to the first two films, it certainly is a failure. Though gorier, the scenes with the digital alien look terrible upon re-viewing. The various writers and scripts, some potentially interesting—especially William Gibson’s version, and changing cinematographers and the insertion of Fincher late into production doomed the project from the start. All that said, the movie itself isn’t terrible—parts are even good, but what feels like a midway point in Ripley’s saga is ultimately her end, and that feels cheap. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien: Covenant - The maddening mistakes of Prometheus absent, this sequel is a tense, action-packed killer of a flick. Scott claims a third prequel is in the works that will tie everything back to Alien, which is . . . fine? It’s just that the first film was so great and everything else since then seems so unnecessary. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien Resurrection - The aliens look better than ever before, but Joss Whedon’s dialogue is simply annoying and the casting is horrible. Ripley has super powers and kills her large adult alien son. Winona Ryder decides crashing a space ship into Paris, killing untold millions, is the best way to get rid of the aliens for some reason. It’s fucking dumb and cost $70 million to make. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. In the special edition intro, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet says he didn’t change much in the re-release because he was proud of the theatrical version. Baffling. 

Amer - This Belgian-French film is a tribute to the Italian tradition of giallo, a stylized, thriller told in three sections that directors like Suspiria’s Dario Argento pioneered. Mostly wordless, there’s not much plot, more a series of moments in a women’s life revolving around terrifying, sexual moments that ends in murder and madness. There are some terrific scenes, but it’s more of an art piece than movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

An American Werewolf in London - Funny and scary all at once, setting the bar almost impossibly high for all that followed. Rick Baker's special effects catapult this movie into greatness. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Ebert was right, though; it doesn’t really have an ending. 

Annihilation - Perhaps more of a sci-fi thriller than a horror movie. But due to some terrifying monsters scenes, I’m going to include it. Apparently writer/director Alex Garland wrote the screenplay after reading the first book in Jeff VanderMeer’s Southern Reach trilogy, giving the movie a different overall plot. Garland’s sleek style that made Ex Machina so wonderful is replaced by “The Shimmer,” which gives the film a strange glow. The ending relies too much on digital special effects that looked more gruesome in earlier segments, detracting from its intended impact. Still, a few key scenes, especially the mutated bear, are downright terror-inducing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I first found the constant flashbacks unnecessary, but viewed as a refraction on Portman’s mind as well as her body make them more forgiving.

The Babadook - Creepy and nearly a perfect haunted horror movie, except for some final tense moments that too quickly try to switch to sentimental, which leaves their earnestness falling flat. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Dook. Dook. Dook.

The Babysitter (2017) - One of Netflix’s original movies, this one pays off in gore and borrows heavily from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World-style jokes. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Meh. It’s cheesy and cliché, but whaddaya gonna do?

Backcountry - Don’t be fooled thinking this is like Jaws “but with a bear,” as I did. Unsympathetic characters and zero tension make this movie a drag to watch. At the start, you think, “Who cares if these assholes get eaten by a bear? They wandered into bear country without a map.” By the end, you’re actively cheering for the bear to eat the boyfriend and only a little sympathetic for the lead character. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. To her credit, Missy Peregrym does a fine job of being a mostly lone protagonist.

Basket Case - Cult director Frank Henenlotter‘s debut starts as a creepy, bloody horror movie, but staggers after showing the monster too soon and then tries to fill time with unnecessary backstory and extended scenes of screams and blood that would have otherwise been eerily good if executed more subtly. Despite not being very good, it’s at least somewhat interesting and kind of impressive considering its low budget. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Battle Royal - I’m not convinced this is a horror movie, it’s more just a gory action flick. But hey, oh well. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun, but not as great as many people seem to believe.

The Beyond - Considered one of Lucio Fulci’s greatest films, it might be a bit disappointing to newcomers of his work. Certainly the style and impressive gore are at their highest, but the muddled plot and poor dubbing distract from the overall effect. Fabio Frizzi‘s score is, for the most part, a great addition, however, certain key moments have an almost circus-like tone, which dampens what should be fear-inducing scenes. It’s easy to see why some fans absolutely love this movie while some critics absolutely hate it. In the end, it’ll please hardcore horror fans, but likely bore others. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Beyond the Gates - Two estranged brothers are sucked into an all-too-real game of survival after finding a mysterious VHS board game following the disappearance of their father. The plot is fun and original, but the lead actors aren’t all that engaging and the special effects look rather outdated for a 2016 release. Still, it’s an enjoyable watch. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Black Christmas - A slasher that starts out with potential, but never gets all that scary or gory, though it’s well made. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Margot Kidder gets a kid drunk.

Black Sheep (2006) - A hilarious, gory take on zombie sheep. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Black Sunday - The Mask of Satan (aka Black Sunday) is totally my new superhero/metal band name. If you're a fan of older horror, this one is not-to-miss. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Vengeance, vampires, Satan worship, castles, curses, and a buxom heroine, this movie is pretty damn dark for a 1960's black & white film.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter - Scores points for a couple of horrific scenes and a fairly good switcheroo, but mostly too slowly paced to capture the viewer’s attention. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Emma Roberts continues her path to being the modern Scream Queen.

The Birds - Hithcock’s film was, by no means, the first horror movie. German, Japanese, and UK directors had explored witches, demons, and the classic monsters decades earlier. But, The Birds is a landmark film, like Psycho, for pioneering a new wave of modern horror. It was, perhaps, the first time female sexuality and ecological revenge had been combined to create an unsettling tale with an ambiguous ending. And the rather graphic scenes of found corpses, combined with a minimalist score, are nearly as shocking today as when the film was first released. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Braindead - It's Bill Pulman and Bill Paxton in a 1980s B-horror; what more do you need? Most people won't enjoy this campy fart of nonsense, but try pulling your TV outside and getting good and drunk. Anything's good then. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. “The universe is just a wet dream."

The Brood - No where near as polished as Scanners or Videodrome, but still a creepy, well-made film. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

A Bucket of Blood - This black & white 1959 film from Roger Corman is more dark comedy than horror, but it’s a absurdly fun critique of beatnik culture written by Corman’s partner on Little Shop of Horrors. Dick Miller gives a great performance, and with a run time of about an horror, the pacing feels relatively quick for an older film. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Byzantium - The tale of two British vampires who live like wandering gypsies, setting up a low-rent brothel in a seaside town despite being immortal badasses because the all-powerful, all-male secret vampire club is trying to kill them, because . . . no girls allowed? It’s unclear. The vampires are of the more modern type—they go out during the day and receive their curse from a geological location than from one another. Still, overall the movie is better than it has to be. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Cabin Fever - Eli Roth’s directorial debut isn’t awful, but it certain could have been better considering Roth credits Carpenter’s The Thing as its inspiration. The homophobic jokes date the movie more than the alt-rock soundtrack and the repetitive scenes reminding viewers of how the mysterious disease spreads (at apparently differing rates depending on the character) during the conclusion end up creating a weird kind of plot hole. To his credit, some of the nods to The Thing are OK. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever - That Ti West made this pseudo-campy and outright bad movie during the same period that he made The House of the Devil is perplexing. The style, pace, and subtly that make The House of the Devil an enjoyable film are nonexistent in this cash-grab sequel. West apparently hated the final cut and requested his name be removed from the project. That said, I kind of like this movie better than the original. I’ve always found Roth’s praise of his directorial debut to be odd, as it’s not very good. For what it’s worth, this movie isn’t trying to be anything other than what it is: a tasteless, bad horror movie. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Retcons the plot hole in the first movie, at least.

The Cabin in the Woods - As good of a spoof of the horror genre as one could hope. Stereotypical with an O'Henry twist at every turn, this movie is good for an afternoon viewing, much like Tucker & Dale vs Evil. Without giving much away, if you think about it, The Cabin In the Woods is like a weird PSA about how marijuana will destroy all of mankind. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun and gory with something for everyone.

Candyman - Decades later, it’s not as easy to see why Candyman was such a landmark movie. It’s a bit slow, stumbles in places, and some of the acting is only serviceable. However, the story itself (based on Clive Baker’s original) is—on paper at least—good. Critics at the time were rightfully hesitant to praise a movie simply for having a black villain, especially when his origin is based on racial violence, but Tony Todd’s portrayal is so terrifying it launches the character into one of the all time great horror monsters. Add in Philip Glass’s soundtrack and Candyman reigns among other classics without being a top contender. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Carrie - I saw this movie on TV a long time ago, but I had forgotten much of the film, especially the opening scene of slow motion nudity (aren't these girls supposed to be in high school?!). The remake of this movie is likely going to be bad, but the original is so good I'll probably go see it. What can be said? Pig's blood. Fire. Religious indoctrination. Sexual overtones. There's a reason Brain de Palma's version of Steven King's story became so culturally important. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. This movie holds up, even today. 

Carrie (2013) - Though nothing is glaringly bad, and the added back-story decently pulled off by Julian Moore as the mother, almost every scene is a shadow of the original. Which is unfortunate considering that the remake of Let The Right One In managed to find a somewhat more unique tone. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Largely unnecessary.

The Changeling - George C. Scott does a fine job as a mourning husband haunted by an unfamiliar spirit. Not the most exciting movie, but pretty decent. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. It might’ve ranked higher, but there are no half stars here.


Cheerleader Massacre - This movie looks like someone shot it in their backyard with an earl 90s handheld camcorder . . . in high school. This is just embarrassing, for me too. The actors seem to be exotic dancers or adult film stars, who haven’t been asked back for a shift in a while. Alright, I skipped through this because the quality was so low. At around minute 41 there's a bathtub scene with three naked women, which culminates in one licking chocolate sauce off each other’s breasts. Some people die. Two of the naked women survive, I think. The house they all go to in the beginning of the movie - a ski lodge, I guess - burns down, or doesn't. Whatever. 0 out of 5 pumpkins. Just watch actual porn.

Child’s Play - While only OK, I understand how this became a franchise. Melted Chucky is terrifying. The villain can hop from vessel to vessel, unfortunately through some kind of voodoo racist bullshit. The characters are shallow, but serviceable. For such a big budget movie, it’s weird that it ends so abruptly. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Children of the Corn - Damn, this movie is boring. Linda Hamilton does the World's Least Sexy Birthday Striptease. The characters are joking quite a bit having just run over a child, whose dead body is rattling around in the trunk. What was the casting call like for this movie? "Wanted: Ugly children. Must look illiterate." All in all, things turn out pretty good for our protagonists. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. For something that spurred at least five other movies, this was remarkably uninspiring. 

City of the Living Dead - The dialogue is awkward and the plot a bit convoluted, but the special effects hold up and the overall story is good. The first of Lucio Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy. Apparently when the movie was screened in L.A., Fulci was booed. 3 of 5 pumpkins. Poor Bob the Simple Pervert.

Climax - Gaspar Noé is known for making viewers feel as uncomfortable possible with his experimental style film making. Which is fine. But that discomfort rarely lands to move me outside the initial shock. Climax is, surprisingly, more like a Suspiria remake than the actual 2018 remake. That, however, doesn’t make it good. The really shocking moments aren’t all that shocking and the cultural commentary isn’t very deep. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just, well, unnecessary. The dance scenes are extraordinary, so at least it’s got that going for it. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Color Out of Space - An enjoyable, albiet uneven, film that does a lot with little. A head-trip type of home invasion movie that pulls you in. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Conjuring - It’s easy to see why so many people love this movie. It’s well-acted, it has jump-out-of-your-seat scares, and incorporates several classic fear elements. Considering the mediocre, at best, tiredly worn horror movies that slump to torture porn for shock value coming out recently, The Conjuring stands above its peers. Still, there’s nothing original about the movie. 3 out 5 pumpkins. 

The Conjuring 2 - Billed as more shocking than the original, this sequel likely lands better in theaters with it’s jump-cut scares and action flick sequences. On the home screen, however, the overly dramatic elements are too far flung to seem like a haunting based on true events. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. 

Creep (2014) - Nails the P.O.V. angle without going too far down the overly-used “found footage.” Mark Duplass is terrifying and without his ability to carry the film, the entire concept could have easily fallen flat. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Creep 2 - Mark Duplass pleasantly surprises with a sequel that, while not as *ahem* creepy as the first, builds out the world of his serial killer in a manner that is engaging and ends with the potential for more. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Crimes of Passion - Technically it’s an “erotic thriller,” but given Ken Russell in the director’s chair and Anthony Perkins as the villain, I’m adding it to this list. Unfortunately, it’s not a great film. Kathleen Turner surpasses over acting in some scenes, and the rest of the cast is pretty forgettable. If the plot revolved around Perkins’s character, it might have been more of a horror flick. Instead revolves around loveless marriage and the fucked up issues of sexuality in America, attempting to say . . . something, but never really making a point. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Russell has got an obsession with death dildos. I don’t know what to do with that information. Just an observation.

Crimson Peak - Guillermo del Toro is a complicated director. He’s created some truly remarkable films, but has also created some borderline camp. Crimson Peak splits the difference, much in the same way Pacific Rim does. If you’re a deep fan of a particular genre, in this case Victorian-era romance, then the movie can be an enjoyable addition to the category with its own voice. If you’re not, then the movie’s more eye-roll-inducing moments are less a nod to fandom and more of an uninvited addition to what could be a straight forward film. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Beautiful, but lacking.

Cronos - This del Toro film is a must-see for any fan of his current work. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Even if you're not usually a fan of foreign films, you'll likely appreciate this modern take on the vampire mythology.

Dagon - To be honest, I feel like I should watch this one again. It’s a bit of a jumbled mess, but there are some wacky, gory moments at the end. Similar in tone and style to Dead and Buried. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Seriously, like the last 20 minutes cram so much plot it’s just a series of wtf moments until hitting incest and then nothing really matters.

Darling - Well shot in beautiful black and white with an excellence score, Darling really should receive a better score. However, it fails to be more than the sum of its parts. Borrowing liberally from Kubrick’s one-point perspective and Polanski’s Repulsion in nearly every other way, the film is decent, but fumbles in deciding whether to convince the audience of a clear plot, leaving viewers with closure, yet unsatisfied. Still, worth viewing. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Daughters of Darkness - A Belgian/French erotic vampire film that isn’t as erotic or vampiric as one might hope. Still, legend Delphine Seyrig shines so brightly, it’s catapults are relatively boring film into near greatness. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Dawn of the Dead - The best zombie movie ever made. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Day of the Dead - George A. Romero’s end to a near-perfect trilogy isn’t as good as its predecessors, but it’s gorier and somehow more depressing, even with the ending. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Dead and Burried - Starts with a bang, but lags in the middle. The ending tries too hard to surprise you, yet, by the time it’s over you kind of don’t care. Surprisingly well acted and good, creepy tale. Might not be everyone’s bag, but if you’re a tried-and-true horror fan, you’ll enjoy the movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: The movie was written by Dan O’Bannon, famed for writing Alien. O’Bannon worked with John Carpenter on a short in film school, quit being a computer animator on Star Wars to be a screenwriter, and became broke and homeless after attaching himself to Jodorowsky’s doomed Dune. He later went on to direct The Return of The Living Dead and write Total Recall. 

Dead Snow - A Nazi zombie bites off a dude's dick. Do you really need any other details? 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Germans be crazy.

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead - Not as good as its predecessor, but still fun. Plus, more children die. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Why all the gay jokes, though?

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats - OK, my first nit-pick is that the bed doesn’t eat people so much as it dissolves people. But it still makes chewing sounds? Whatever. A bizarre concept that swings for seriousness and utterly fails due to its lack of plot and extremely low budget. Kinda of weird, but ultimately pretty boring. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

Death Spa - Hilariously bad. Super 80s. I can’t say this is a good film, but I would recommend watching it for the kitsch value. What if a ghost haunted a gym? Instant money maker. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: the project came about due to shepherding from Walter Shenson, who got rich producing A Hard Day’s Night and Help!, and the lead actor, who plays a gym manager, was an actual gym manager in L.A. at the time.

Deathgasm - Imagine if Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was about a New Zealand metal band and not as good, but still pretty OK. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Deep Red (aka Profondo Rosso, aka The Hatchet Murders) - Dario Argento’s 1975 film is more polished than 1977′s Suspiria, which is a bit surprising. However, that doesn’t necessarily make it a better film. Where Suspirira’s fever dream colors and superior soundtrack, also by Goblin, shines, Deep Red doesn’t quite land. The camera work here is better, though, as is much of acting. But there’s a lot of let downs, such as the opening psychic bowing out and never really coming up again, the boorish male lead and oddly timed humor, and the final reveal, which is anti-climatic. Still, an overall great horror movie. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Def by Tempation - I really enjoyed this film, despite it not being the most skillful directed or the most incredible script. The plot is compelling, the jokes are pretty funny, and the angles and lighting are really well done despite the limited budget. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Admittedly, Kadeem Hardison nostalgia helps.

Demons - Multiple people recommended this to me, and I can see why considering the Dario Argento connection. Unfortunately, the premise is more exciting than the execution. Poorly acted and poorly dubbed, the gore doesn’t do enough to hold one’s attention. There’s a scene where a guy rides around on a dirt bike killing demons with a samurai sword. At least that happens. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Is the ticket-taker in on it? She works in the demon theater, right? So, why is she being hunted? Also, where the fuck did the helicopter come from?

The Descent - Some of Earth’s hottest, most fit women embark on a spelunking adventure with a recently traumatized friend. Aside from a couple of lazy devices that put the team in greater peril than necessary, the movie quickly and cleverly puts the cavers into a horrifying survival scenario that few others in the genre have matched. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Without giving too much away, be sure you get the original, unrated cut before watching this flick.

The Devil’s Backbone - Though del Toro’s debut, Cronos, is more original and imaginative, this is much more honed. Not necessarily frightening, but tense and dreadful through out, laying open the horror war inflicts on all it touches. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Devil’s Candy - More of a serial killer thriller than a horror, but the supernatural elements raise this movie to better-than-average heights. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. The real lesson is this movie is that cops won’t save you, ONLY METAL CAN SAVE YOU!

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - The biggest upside to this movie is that it was produced by Guillermo del Toro. The biggest downside is that it's not directed by Guillermo del Toro. Still, the director gets credit for making a child the main character; never an easy task. To the little girl's credit, she's a better actor than Katie Holmes, no surprise, and Guy Pierce. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. With a bit more gore and stylistic pauses, this could have been a 4. This movie proves why killing kids is more fun than kids who kill, and also that every male protagonist in every horror movie is dumb dick.

Don’t Look Now - Well-acted and interesting, Nicolas Roeg’s adaptation is a high-water mark of the 1970s premier horror. The only real complaint is that the ending—while good and obviously ties it all together—is nonsensical. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Donald Sutherland fucks.

Event Horizon - “This ship is fucked.” “Fuck this ship!” “Where we’re going, we don’t need eyes to see.” These are quotes from, and also the plot of, Event Horizon. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. The most disturbing part of the whole production might be Sam Neil’s attempt to be a sexual icon.

The Evil Dead - Though The Shining is the best horror movie ever made, The Evil Dead is my favorite. Funny, creepy, well-shot on a shoestring budget, it's the foundation for most modern horror flicks, more so than Night of the Living Dead in some fashions. See it immediately, if you haven't. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Bruce fuckin' Campbell.

Evil Dead (2013) - Not entirely bad, and even takes the original plot in more realistic places, like the character having to detox. But is that what we really need? The fun of the original is its low budget, odd humor, and DIY grit. I guess if you really want a “darker” version, it’s this. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Better than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, about as good as the Carrie remake, I guess.

Evil Dead II - I have to respect Sam Raimi because it’s like he got more budget and did everything possible to try and make this movie suck just as a fuck you to the studio. All the creepy parts of the original are over-the-top, there’s zero character development—just faces on a stage, and it’s seemingly a crash-grab to set up Army of Darkness more than anything else. That said, it’s kind of boring outside of a couple gory scenes. It’s fun, but not that funny. It’s scary, but more gauche than anything. An exercise in excess, yet a decent one somehow. My biggest complaint is that Evil Dead is great with Bruce Campbell, but would have been good with almost anyone; whereas Evil Dead II is only good because it’s Bruce Campbell. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark - This movie is nothing but puns and tit jokes. But clever ones! Pretty okay with that. Or maybe it's a statement on third-wave feminism in spoof form? Probably not. At one point an old people orgy breaks out at a small town morality picnic, but it's a PG-13 movie so it doesn't get very fun. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Boooooooooobs.

Elvira's Haunted Hills - A pretty disappointing follow-up to what was a fun, 1980s romp. Instead of poking fun at uptight Protestants, Elvira’s just kind of a dick to her servant. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Even the boob jokes are flat.

The Endless - More sci-fi than horror, and not the most deftly produced, still an original concept that’s pulled off well. 3 out 5 pumpkins. Maybe this should get a higher ranking. It’s good! Not exactly scary, but good.

Equinox - Decided to give another older Criterion Collection film a try. Though there are some clever tricks in the movie, especially for its time -- like an extended cave scene that's just a black screen -- the poor sound, monsters that look children's toys, and general bad acting drag this movie down to nothing but background noise that's easy to ignore. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Whatever contributions this movie may have made to the industry, its not worth your time unless studying for a film class.

Excision - Less of an outright horror movie and more of a disturbing tale of a young necrophiliac, the film tries its best to summon the agnst of being a teen, but falls short of better takes, like Teeth. Still, pretty good. Traci Lords is great and John Waters plays a priest. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Exorcist - The slow pace and attention to character backstory is more moving than the shocking scenes you've no doubt heard about, even if you haven't seen the film. The pacing is slow compared to most movies today, but the drawn out scenes, like in Rosemary's Baby, help convey the sense of dread. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Believe.

Eyes Without a Face - One of the more remarkable things about this French 1960′s near-masterpiece is how carefully it walked the line between gore and taboo topics in order to pass European standards. The villain isn’t exactly sympathetic, but carries at least some humanity, giving the story a more realistic, and therefore more frightening quality. The only, only thing that holds this film back is the carnivalesque soundtrack that could have been foreboding. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. A must watch for any horror fan.

The Fly - Cronenberg's fan-favorite film is delightful, though it’s not as great as Scanners or Videodrome, in my humble opinion. Jeff Goldblum is, of course, terrific. If you haven’t seen it, see it! 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Where’d he get the monkey, though? Seems like it’d be hard to just order a monkey. The 80s were wild, man.

The Fog - A rare miss for John Carpenter’s earlier work. There’s nothing outright wrong or bad about this movie, but it’s not particularly scary and the plot is rather slow. That said, it’s soundly directed. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. If you’re a Carpenter fan, it’s still worth watching.

Forbidden World - Another Roger Corman cult classic, this one made immediately after the much larger budget Galaxy of Terror, mostly because Corman had spent so much on the first set (designed by James Cameron) and thought of a way to make another low-budget flick with a much smaller cast and recycled footage from Battle Beyond the Stars. Even more of a complete rip-off of Alien, with some Star Wars and 2001: A Space Odyssey bit sprinkled in. Perhaps because it’s far less serious and revels in its pulp, it’s somehow better than Galaxy of Terror, which is more ambitious—you know, for a Corman b-movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. No worm sex scene, though.

Frankenhooker - Frank Henenlotter‘s 1990 black comedy is over-the-top in almost every way, perhaps best encapsulated by the introduction of Super Crack that makes sex workers, and one hamster, explode. But with a title like Frankenhooker, you get what you expect. Hell, it even manages to sneak in an argument for legalizing prostitution. If you’re a fan of zany, exploitation in the vein of Re-Animator, you’ll enjoy it. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Friday the 13th - Terrifically balanced between campy and creepy, with a soundtrack that’s twice as good as it needs to be. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching every year.

The Frighteners - Michael J. Fox, everyone! Robert Zemeckis & Peter Jackson - ugh. It didn't even take 20 minutes for the racial stereotypes to kick in. Unlike the trope of youth in most horror movies, everyone in this movie looks old. Holy shit, did anyone else remember Frank Busey was in this movie? Michael J. Fox is a bad driver in this movie. He was also in a car accident that gave him supernatural sense. Jokes. Apparently they tried to make it look like this movie was shot in the Midwestern United States, but it was filmed in New Zealand. It's clearly a coastal or water based mountain town, in like dozens of shots. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Cheesy without being completely campy, it's also family friendly. If this were any other genre, this would likely be a two.

From Beyond - Stewart Gordon’s follow-up to Re-Animator isn’t as fun, even with some impressively gory special effects. Viewers are throw into a story with little regard for character, which doesn’t really matter, but is still a bit of a left down when you find yourself wondering how a BDSM-inclined psychiatrist builds a bomb from scratch. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. It’ll stimulate your pineal gland!

Funny Games (2007) - A fairly straightforward home invasion horror achieves greatness thanks to Michael Haneke‘s apt directing and powerful performances by Naomi Watts and Michael Pitt. Like with Psycho, some of the most horrifying parts are what comes after. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The fourth wall breaking is an odd touch, but thankfully and surprisingly doesn’t distract.

The Fury - Brian De Palma’s follow-up to Carrie is a major let down. Despite a fairly charismatic Kirk Douglas and score by John Williams, the two-hour run time drags and drags. Attempting to combine horror and an action-thriller, the film waffles between genres without ever rising above either. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s not explicitly bad; just a bore to watch.

Galaxy of Terror - Roger Corman produced this movie as was to try and capitalize off the success of Alien, but even with that shallow motivation it’s better than it needed to be. Staring Erin Moran of Happy Days fame and celebrated actor Ray Walston, Galaxy of Terror has an uneven cast, made all the more puzzling by Sid Haig. Though “the worm sex scene” is likely the reason it achieved cult status, James Cameron’s production is top-notch and was clearly the foundation for his work on Aliens. The ending even hints at the future of Annihilation. Does all this make it a good movie? Not really, but it’s not terrible either. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Get Out - A marvelous debut for Jordan Peele, who—given his comedy background—was able to land some downright chilling moments alongside some mostly well-timed jokes. Unfortunately, not all of them as well timed, especially the drop-in moments with the lead character’s TSA buddy. Peele originally had the film end less optimistically, but wanted audiences to ultimately walk away feeling good. Maybe not the most artistic choice, but certainly the smart one given the film’s acclaim. It’s easy to see why Get Out has cemented itself alongside The Stepford Wives as a smart, “in these times” commentary about society, but it’s also just a really well-paced, well-shot, well-acted film. With two other horror projects immediately set, it’ll be exciting to see just how much Peele will add to the genre. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. America’s worst movie critic, Armond White, said Get Out was “an Obama movie for Tarantino fans” as if that was a bad thing. Idiot.

Ginger Snaps - A delightfully playful but still painful reminder of what it was like being a teenager while still being a gore-fest. A must for anyone who was emo. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Out by sixteen or dead on the scene.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night - An almost flawless picture. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus: nearly everyone in this movie is insanely hot.

Green Room - Surviving a white supremacist rally in the Pacific Northwest is no joke. The region is the unfortunate home to violently racist gangs, clinging to the last shreds of ignorant hate. Though fading, some of the movements mentioned in the movie, like the SHARPs, are grounded in recent history. Mainly a gory survival-flick, the movie sneaks in some surprisingly tone-appropriate humor. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. No one’s island band should be Misfits.

A Ghost Story (2017) - Yes, this isn’t a horror. It’s a drama. Don’t care; including it anyway. It’s unnerving in the way that it makes you consider your own mortality and the lives of the people who you’ve touched, and how all of that won’t last as long as an unfeeling piece of furniture or the wreckage of home soon forgot. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Ghostbusters (1984) - “It’s true. This man has no dick.” 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Halloween (1978) - One of the best openings of any horror film. John Carpenter is a genius. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Halloween (2018) - Eh. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hardware - A very unhelpful Marine brings home some post-apocalyptic trash that tries to kill him and his girlfriend, who could absolutely do better than him. Horribly shot and nonsensical, it doesn’t push the boundaries of filth or gore its cult fans adore. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Do not recommend.

The Haunting (1963) - Not exactly the scariest of movies, but damn well made and just dripping with gay undertones. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Theo is queen femme daddy and we are all here for it.

Haunting on Fraternity Row - The acting is surprisingly decent, but the supernatural elements don’t even start until halfway into the movie, which begins as a sort of handheld, POV style conceit and then abandons all pretense of that set up. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Not at all scary, but maybe it will make you nostalgic for frat parties, cocaine, and failed threesomes. So.

The Haunting of Julia - Apparently parents in 1970s Britain didn't receive proper Hymlic maneuver treatment, which perhaps made for an epidemic of dead children. As promising as that premise might be, an hour into this movie and there hasn't been any actual haunting. There's a stylish gay best friend (he owns a furniture store) and a dumb dick of an ex-husband, a scene of library research, mistaken visions, etc. All the standards are here, except for the haunting parts. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Well shot but absolutely boring, this is more about a woman's struggle with depression than a horror flick.

Head Count - A great premises that falters in key moments, making the sum of its parts less than its promising potential. For example, there’s no reason to show a CGI monster when you’ve already established its a shape-shifter, the scariest part is that they could be anybody! 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II - I really dislike this movie, not because it’s especially bad, but because it’s a lazy continuation of the first film. Yes, there are a couple of scenes that are squeamishly good, but it spends too much time rehashing the plot of the first and then ending in some grandiose other dimension that has not real impact. Part of the terrifying elements of the first is that the horror is confined to one room in one house. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. It really only gets this many pumpkins because of the mattress scene.

Hellraiser - Truly the stuff nightmares are made of. It’s easy to see why this film became a cult-classic and continues to horrify audiences. That said, the plot is a bit simplistic. Not that the plot is the heart of the film; the objective is for viewers to experience squeamish body mutilation and overall dread, and in that regard it truly delivers. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hereditary - Toni Collette is a treasure in this dramatic horror about family and loss. Though the truly terrifying bits take too long to ramp up, resulting in a jumbled conclusion, the film is engrossing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hocus Pocus - Admittedly, this movie isn’t very good. But its nostalgic charm and constant virgin jokes earns it a higher ranking that it deserves. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. “Max likes your yabbos. In fact, he loves them.”

Honeymoon - Often described as a modern twist on Rosemary’s Baby, this debut from promising director Leigh Janiak takes its time before getting truly creepy. Though there are some gruesome moments, the tense feeling is bound to the two leads, who are able to keep a lingering sense of dread alive without much else to play off. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Host - I was skeptical of this Korean movie based on the sub-par visual affects, but the script, actors, and cinematography were all much better than expected. A genre-bender, as my friend who recommended it described, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cringe. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. If you're a fan of movies like Slither, you'll love this movie.

Hot Fuzz - Second in Three Flavours Cornetto and probably the worst, but still a great movie that gets better on repeat viewing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

House - A part of the Critereon Collection, this 1977 Japanese movie is a trip and a half that follows the untimely demise of some school girls going to visit their friend's aunt, who turns out to be a witch who eats unwed women. One of the girls is named Kung-Fu and spiritually kicks a demon cat painting until blood pours out everywhere. I guess this is kind of a spoiler, but the movie is such a madcap, magna-influenced experiment there's nothing that can really ruin the experience. Like most anime, this movie also ends with an unnecessary song that drags on for far too long. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. I guess this movie influenced a lot of future work, which make sense. Still, most people would consider this a 1 as it's nearly impossible to follow.

The House at the End of the Street - I only decided to watch this movie because Jennifer Lawrence is in it. This isn't even a real horror movie. It's a serial killer movie with a few thriller moments. My standards are low at this point. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. It's a PG-13 movie, so instead of outright showing you some boobs there's just long, awkwardly placed frames of Jennifer Lawrence in a white tank-top. Oh, America.

The House of the Devil - Though an on-the-nose homage to 70s satanic slow-burns, this Ti West feature moves at a decent pace toward the slasher-like ending, making it better than most of movies it pays tribute to. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. 

The House on Sorority Row - A cookie-cutter college slasher that ends abruptly for no real reason considering how long it sets up its premise. Nothing awful, but nothing original. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Housebound - A fun, Kiwi flick that nicely balances a bit of horror with humor with a strong performance by Morgana O'Reilly. Though the plot takes a couple unnecessary twits towards the end, the gore kicks up and leaves you with a satisfying ending. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Howling - Released the same year as American Werewolf in London, this movie isn’t very good, but it is entertaining. Apparently audiences and critics thought it was funny. Maybe because it makes fun of that Big Sur lifestyle? I dunno. Dick Miller is the best thing in this movie, outside of the special effects. No idea why it spawned several follow ups. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Honestly, why not just lean into The Gift and join The Colony—nice surroundings, sultry nympho, regeneration ability. Some people can’t appreciate nice things.

Humanoids from the Deep - A cult favorite from the Roger Corman camp that borrows heavily from Creature from the Black Lagoon and a bit from Jaws. Initially very well done by director Barbara Peeters, but ultimately released much to her distaste. Peeters shot grisly murder scenes of the men, but used off camera and shadows to show the creatures raping the women. Corman and the editor didn’t think there was enough campy nudity. So they tapped Jimmy T. Murakami and second unit director James Sbardellati to reshoot those scenes, unknown to the cast, and then spliced the more exploitative elements back in for the final version, including a shower scene where it’s abundantly clear a new, more busty actress stands in for actual character. It’s unfortunate Peeters’ creation was essentially stolen from her, as it could have been a more respected film. I mean, how many horror flicks could weave in the economic struggle of small town bigots against a young native man trying save salmon populations? That said, the cut we got is pervy romp that’s still a boat-load of b-movie fun. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. James Horner on the score.

The Hunger - First off, David fucking Bowie. Not to be outdone, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve are absolute knock-outs. Horror stories are often rooted in the erotic, often the unknown or shameful aspects of ingrained morality manifested in the grotesque and deadly. When done positively and well, it can be a powerful device. It’s a shame more recent horror movies don’t move beyond the teen-to-college-year characters for their sexual icons, too often used as sacrificial lambs, because mature sexuality can be far more haunting. As we age our connections to the meaning of love grow deeper and more complex; immorality does not offer the same luster. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Damn impressive for a first major film. Fun fact: Tony Scott wanted to adapt Interview with the Vampire, but MGM gave him The Hunger instead. It bombed and he went back to making commercials. Then Jerry Bruckheimer got him to direct Top Gun, which made $350M.

Hush - Though the masked stranger, home invasion plot is well-worn, this movies provides just enough shifts to keep things interesting and frightening. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Watch out, Hot John!

I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House - With only an hour and a half run time, this film still drags. Part of that is deliberate. The foundation of the film is its atmosphere and the lingering uneasiness that it wishes audiences to dwell in. But by the end, you’re left with nothing more than a simple, sad story. It’s similar to the feeling of overpaying for a nice-looking appetizer and never getting a full meal. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Initiation - This movie has every 80s hour cliché necessary: minimalist synth soundtrack, naked co-eds, looming POV shots, hunky Graduate professor, escaped psychiatric patients, prophecy nightmares, and creepy a child. Yes, everything but actual horror. An hour into the horror movie and only one person has died. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There is no point to this movie, unless you're a huge fan of the princess in Space Balls.

The Innkeepers - The second of Ti West’s two well-received horror originals before he set out for TV and found-footage anthologies, The Innkeepers may not get as much love as The House of the Devil, but should. The dual-leads (Sara Paxton and Pat Healy) are more fun to watch than Jocelin Donahue‘s performance and the tone more even-set throughout the film. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Innocents - Reportedly Martin Scorsese’s favorite horror movie, it’s easy to see how big of an impact it had on the genre (especially The Others) with sweeping camera angles, slow but still haunting pace, and remarkable sound design. Perhaps it’s not as well-received by modern viewers, but it’s no doubt a classic. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Intruder (1989) - An enjoyable slasher flick from long-time Sam Raimi collaborator Scott Spiegel that takes places in a grocery store after hours that doesn’t try to do too much or take itself too seriously and features some over-the-top gore. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. “I’m just crazy about this store!”

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) - A terrific example of how to build paranoid fear. That its political allegory can be interpreted on both sides of McCarthyism makes it all the better. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Original ending, ftw.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - A rare remake that’s almost as good as the original. Terrific use of San Fransisco as a setting, Goldblum Goldblum’ing it up, solid pacing—great film! 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Plus, nudity!

The Invitation - More of a tense drama until the final moments, this film deserves praise for holding viewers’ attention for so long before the horror tipping point. Further details could spoil the story, but like many tales in the genre the lesson here is always trust your gut. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Ugh, Californians.

It (2017) - Stephen King’s nearly 1,200 page 1986 national bestseller captures the attention of readers for a number of reason: it’s coming-of-age story is horrific even without supernatural elements, it’s cast of characters resemble classic American archetypes from many of King’s other works, and its adaptation into a four hour mini-series staring Tim Curry as Pennywise in 1990 has haunted the imaginations of children for decades. Unfortunately, like the mini-series, the movie fails to deliver the long, unsettling moments that make the novel so thrilling. King’s story is a cocaine-fueled disaster that throws everything and the kitchen sink at viewers when compressed onto the screen. The truly terrifying elements of the book lose their impact when delivered one after another without time to feel personally connected to each character. The genius of It is the paranormal evil’s ability to hone in on a person’s darkest fears. Without deep empathy for all of The Losers, the individualized psychological torture is muted when reduced to jump-cuts. For what it’s worth, the film does its best with a jumble of sub-plots and the Pennywise origin story, but as the tone bounces from wide shots of small town Maine and the painful trauma of abuse to titled zooms of CGI monsters and an over-the-top soundtrack, something is lost. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Publishing office, 1985: “So, wait. The kids fuck?” the editor asks, disgusted. King vacuums another white rail into his nasal cavity. “Huh?! Oh. Yeah, sure. I guess. Does that happen? Jesus, I’m so fucked up right now. What day is it? What were you saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s like, love is the opposite of fear, bridge to adulthood or something. Do you have any booze around here?”

It Comes At Night - More utterly depressing than terrifying and a reminder that the greatest horror we’ll likely ever face is simply the limits of our own humanity. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

It Follows - An uncomfortable and honest take on how sexuality is intertwined with the horror myth. One for the ages. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The real terror is HPV. 

Jaws - A masterpiece that’s too easily remembered for its cultural impact than artist merit. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. R.I.P. Chrissie Watkins, you were a free spirit as wild as the wind.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer - Yorgos Lanthimos‘s follow up to The Lobster isn’t as well done, but the wide shots, odd lines, and increasingly bizzare build-up are all present. The finale is near perfect, but takes a bit too long to reach. I’d really like to give this film a higher score, but alas: 3 out of 5 pumpkins. There’s nothing wrong, yet something is missing.

Kiss of the Damned - There are handful of potential interesting scenes and the internal drama of a vampire family is a potentially the foundation for a good film. Despite this, Xan Cassavetes’s film never manages to actually be all that interesting. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There’s nothing terrible here, but also nothing remarkable.

Knock Knock - Two hotties do my man Keanu dirty. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Eli Roth is a better actor than director.

The Lair of the White Worm - A campy demon flick from Altered States director Ken Russell. Staring Hugh Grant, Peter Capaldi, and Amanda Donohoe, the plot is loosely based on Bram Stroker’s last novel, which has a few similarities to H. P. Lovecraft's novella The Shadow Over Innsmouth, which was made into the Spanish film Dagon. Very British all around, a bit like Hot Fuzz meets Clue, this could have been played straight and potentially been scary, but Russell didn’t intend to be serious. A topless snake demon wearing a death strap-on to sacrafice a virgin can’t be taken as *cinema* after all. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Not great film by any stretch, but pretty fun!

Lake Mungo - Presented as a made-for-TV type of mystery documentary, this could have really turned out poorly. Despite some unnecessary plot additions, this movie really stuck with me. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Sadder than you might expect.

The Langoliers - Balki Bartokomous is the villain in this made-for-TV special. He is terrible and the rest of the cast is packed with 90s no-name actors and a child actor that might as well be the blind version of a kid Liz Lemon. You know how Stephen King writes himself into every. single. story? In this case it's not even as a plot device, it's just a character to fill space like an obvious oracle. In the book, the character tearing paper is a subtle, unsettling mannerism you assume happens quietly in the background, but because television writers treat their audiences like distracted five year-olds, this action becomes a reoccurring focus with no point or context. One of the best parts about the book was imagining the wide, empty space of the Denver airport. Of course, shutting down an entire airport would be expensive, so most of the interactions take place in a single terminal, which is just as boring as being stuck at the airport yourself. Two 1994-era Windows screen savers eat Balki at the end, then, like, all of reality, maaaaaaaan. The more I think about it, this story might have been the unconscious basis for a strong Salvia freak out I once had. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Dear male, white writers, we all know that no one actually fucks writers in real life - that's why you're all so angry. Stop creating these protagonists equipped with impossible pussy-magnets. Stop. Staaaaaaaahp.

The Last House of the Left - Wes Craven’s debut isn’t much of a horror, but a revenge tale that contains no build up or sense of dread, but an immediate and unrelenting assault of its characters and the audience. It’s well-made, and the rape revenge tale is older than Titus Andronicus, but that doesn’t mean it’s something worth viewing. There’s no joy; it’s Pink Flamingos without the camp. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. No doubt impactful, but really best viewed as a piece of history with a critical eye and not for entertainment.

The Legend of Hell House - A well made haunted house film that holds up forty years later. Pamela Franklin, playing a medium, carries much of the movie. Her foil, the physicist, is a strange character. He apparently believes people, and even dead bodies, can manifest surreal, electromagnetic energies, but not in “surviving personalities.” Yet, he still orders this giant “reverse energy” machine to “drain” the house of its evil before they even set out to research house. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Dangerous diner parties, the insatiable Mrs. Barret, mirrored ceilings and kick ass Satan statues everywhere - this house seems pretty great, actually.

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires - A blast to watch, but not truly great. Unfortunately, I’ve only seen the edited version (The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula) that mixes up the beginning for no real reason and wonder how much better the original cut might be. Still, vampires! Kung Fu! Peter Cushing! 3 out of 5 pumpkins.


Let the Right One In - Beautiful and terribly haunting. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Likely the best horror movie this generation will get.

Let Me In - Surprising good. Unnecessary, yes. But still good. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: I once watched an *ahem* found copy of Matt Reeves‘s Dawn of the Planet of the Apes without the ape subtitles and thought it was a brave choice to make the audience sympathize with the common humanity among our species. I was also pretty high.

Life After Beth - Jeff Baena‘s horror comedy features a terrific Aubrey Plaza, but Dane DeHaan’s character leaves a lot to be desired. It seems like the film is trying to save something about life, love, and family, but never finds its voice. A fine, funny movie to watch on a rainy afternoon. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Lifeforce - Directed by Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and written by Dan O'Bannon (Alien) is a film the suffers from “the disease of more.” The entire concept of space vampires is rad as hell, but a $25 million budget and a 70 mm production couldn’t save what ends up being a boring trod and a jumbled ending that somehow makes major city destruction tiring. Though, to be fair, this was well before Independence Day. Colin Wilson, author of the original source material, said it was the worst movie he has ever seen. I wouldn’t go that far, but during a special 70 mm screening, the theater host chastised the audience in advance to not make fun of the movie during the showing because it was “a great film.” Reader, it is not. But Mathilda May looks real good naked and there are a couple cool, gory shots. So, there’s that. I guess. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Patrick Stewart is in this for all of like 10 minutes, but is still listed as a main character.

The Lighthouse - From The Witch’s Robert Eggers, this film is objectively a great work of art. Brooding, stark, and compelling performances from Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson—all the elements add up into a unique and disturbing experience. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. All that said, in the same way I consider Death Spa a 2 pumpkin movie you should see, this is a 4 pumpkin movie you could probably skip. It’s not entertaining in the traditional sense, and likely not one you’d want to really ever see again. The Eggers brothers made something weirdly niche and it’s fine if it stays that way.

Little Evil - A serviceable comedy that isn’t all that scary or even gory, which is a disappointment considering Eli Craig’s Tucker & Dale vs. Evil was so good. There are a few nods to famous horror movies that make a handful of scene enjoyable, but otherwise it’s purely background material. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Little Monsters - A Hulu original that’s pretty fun, if ultimately standing on the shoulders of giants like George A. Romero and Edgar Wright. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

A Lizard in a Woman's Skin - Lucio Fulci’s erotic mystery starts out with groovy sex parties and hallucinations, but quickly gets dull in the middle with extended scenes of psychological assessment, only to wind up where we all started. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Lodge - A good exercise in isolation horror that, while a bit slow, ratchets up the tension and horror with each act. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Damn kids.

The Lost Boys - A fun, campy 80s vampire flick you’ve likely heard of or even seen. I get why it’s cemented in popular culture, but at the end of the day it’s a Joel Schumacher film with a silly plot. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Love Witch - Somewhere between earnest satire and homage, The Love Witch is a well-crafted throwback to 1960s schlock. Weaving in contemporary gender critique, the film is more than just a rehash of its sexual fore-bearers. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Mandy (2018) - Like watching a bad trip from afar, Beyond the Black Rainbow director Panos Cosmatos (son of the Tombstone director) pulls off a trippy, dreadful film that starts out with story that follows logic and consequence before giving over to the full weirdness of Nicholas Cage’s uniquely unhinged style of acting. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Jóhann Jóhannsson’s score is superb.

Midsommar - Though not as good as Aster’s Hereditary, Midsommar sticks with you longer. Eerie throughout and disturbing, but not frightening in the traditional sense, it’s no surprise this film seems to split viewers into devoted fans and downright haters. Florence Pugh’s performance is wonderful and the scenes of drugged-out dread are far better than what was attempted in Climax. Some critics have called the film muddled and shallow, and certainly the “Ugly American” character fits in the later, but I found it to be a remarkably clear vision compared to the jumbled ending of Hereditary. That said, it’s not a scary movie, it’s simply unnerving. Should a male director and writer be the one to tell this tale? Probably not. But it’s not wholly unredemptive. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I first gave this film 3 pumpkins, but the more I think about it, the more it lingers. That counts for something. One more pumpkin to be exact.

Mimic - Without del Toro’s name attached, perhaps this movie wouldn’t be judged so harshly. Yet, though the shadowy, lingering shots he’s know for give a real sense of darkness to the picture, it’s a chore to sit through and is especially frustrating toward the end. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Mist - Watch the black and white version, which adds an ol’ timey feel to this Lovecraftian tale from Steven King and makes always-outdated CGI a bit more palpable. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Monster (2016) - From The Strangers Bryan Bertino, this monster movie that ties in a trouble mother/daughter relationship doesn’t ever overcome its limitations and poor character decisions that get protagonists in deeper trouble. Zoe Kazan does what she can to carry the role. Not bad, but not much below the surface. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Monsters (2010) - A slow-burn that relies on its actors to push the suspense of a road-trip-style plot, leaving the special effects for subtle and beautiful moments. Arguably more of a sci-fi thriller than a true horror flick, it’s still worth viewing if you’re looking for something spooky. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

mother! - Like many of Aronosky’s films, mother! is difficult to define by genre. Though not a typical haunted house film, the bloody, unsettling aspects make it more than a typical psychological thriller. Haunting in a similar fashion of Black Swan, yet broader in theme like The Fountain, this movie is challenging, disturbing and frustrating in the sense that, as a mere viewer, you’re left feeling like there’s something you’ll never fully understand despite being beaten over the head. An not-so-subtle allegory about love, death, creation, mankind, god, and the brutality women must endure, it’s a hideous reminder that, upon even the briefest reflection, life’s cosmic journey is macabre. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Ms. 45 - Ahead of its time, especially considering the unfortunate “rape revenge” sub-genre that seemed to cater to male fantasy than female empowerment. Still, it’s slow build and random scenes toward the finale leave it wanting. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Oh, the knife is a dick. I get it. 

Murder Party - A bit like Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, but for New York art kids. Even for being a horror comedy, there’s only like 20 minutes of horror, which is too bad as there’s material to mine instead of a prolonged rooftop chase scene. If this was a studio production, it’d probably just get 2 pumpkins, but given it’s $200k budget and at-the-time unknown cast, it’s a solid first feature for Jeremy Saulnier and Macon Blair, who went on to make some truly great films. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

National Lampoon’s Class Reunion - Flat out awful; neither a comedy nor a horror. Writer John Hughes claims he was fired from production, though that doesn’t hold much water considering he’s credited as “Girl with bag on head” and went on to write several other Lampoon movies. Director Michael Miller didn’t make another feature film for almost thirty years, which wasn’t long enough. 0 out of 5 pumpkins.

Near Dark - Kathryn Bigelow‘s sophomore film is hampered by its ultimate ending, but the story is original and well produced. Even Bill Paxton’s over-the-top performance is enjoyable. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worst. Vampire. Ever.

The Neon Demon - A spiritual successor to Suspiria, this film from Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn is beautifully shot, but ultimately empty. While both Jena Malone and Keanu Reeves breathe life into their small roles, the cast of models rarely shine. The horrific ending goes a step too far without lingering long enough to truly shock. Though much better than the extremely similar Starry Eyes, it’s difficult to give this film a higher rating. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching for a couple standout scenes. 

Night of the Living Dead - Viewed today the film seems almost tame, but in 1968 it was lambasted for being too gorey and sparked calls for censorship. And to its credit, there wasn’t anything else like it at the time. Romero’s incredibly small budget, Duane Jones‘s great performance, and the film’s unintended symbolism make its success all the more impressive. Kudos to MoMA and The Film Foundation for restoring this important piece of cinema history. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I argue this is a sci-fi film, if you think about it.

A Night to Dismember (The "Lost" Version) - This version appeared on YouTube in the summer of 2018, decades after it was originally filmed. The version that was released in 1989 on VHS, and later in 2001 on DVD, was entirely re-shot with adult film actress Samantha Fox after a disgruntled processing employee destroyed the original negatives. The re-shoot gave the released version of movie its “sexplotation” vibe that director Doris Wishman was know for producing, but he original version is more of a straight-forward psychotic slasher movie with only a scene of campy nudity and stars Diana Cummings, instead of Fox. Gone is the striptease, sex hallucinations, detective character, and asylum plot that were slapped together in the released version, leaving a still somewhat jumbled story of a young woman who goes on a killing spree after becoming possessed by her dead mother, who died in pregnancy, leaving her an orphan. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Poor Mary. Poor Vicki.

Nightmare on Elm Street - Why this movie sparked a generations-long series is almost as puzzling as how Children of the Corn pulled it off as well. The movie flat out ignores basic storytelling devices. Recalling the overall plot, you’re not even sure if the main character is better off alive or dead, given the horrifying reality she already exists within. Consider this: Her father is an authoritarian cop leading the world’s worse police force and her mother is a drunk, possessive vigilante arsonist. University doctors are so inept they focus solely on Colonial-era medicine to the point of ignoring a metaphysical phenomenon, believing teenage girls are attention-starved enough to smuggle hats embroidered with a dead child-killer’s name inside their vaginas to a sleep deprivation study. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. So much for the classics. At least this gave us the future gift of inspiring Home Alone-style defense antics.

Not of This Earth (1988) - This film, and I mean that artistically, was made because the director, Jim Wynorskin, bet he could remake the original on the same inflation-adjusted budget and schedule as the 1957 version by Roger Corman. Traci Lords makes her non-adult film debut and is a better actor than the rest of the cast combined. The gem isn’t so bad it’s good, it’s so godawful it’s incredible. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I was looking for the trashiest horror movie on Netflix, and I believe I have found it.

One Cut of the Dead - Know as little as possible going into this one. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s impossible to not enjoy this film.

One Dark Night - Starts out interesting, but quickly gets forgetable even with the central location of a haunted cemetery. Worth putting on the background. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Aaaaaadddaaaammmm Weeeeessssst.

The Others - Well-paced, nicely shot, superior acting by Nicole Kidman, ominous tone through out, great ending. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. One of my personal favorites.

Pan's Labyrinth - del Torro’s best work, combining the tinges of war dread and the fantastical elements that would go on to be a key part of his other films. Pale Man is one of the creepiest monsters to ever be captured on screen. Perhaps the biggest horror is that though you’ll cheer for the anarchists, the historical fact is that the Nationalists won and established a dictatorship for nearly forty years. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. No god, no country, no master.

The People Under the Stairs - When the main character of a horror movie would be better placed in a zany after-school sitcom, the entire story is bound to fail. Little did I know how far. Twin Peaks actors aside, the rest of the this movie is so convoluted and poorly explained that it made me hate Panic Room somewhat less. They can't all be winners. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. At the end of this movie, a house explodes and money rains down on poor, mostly black people. Thanks, Wes Craven!

Pet Sematary (2019) - Uninspiring, uneven, and mostly uneventful. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

Poltergeist - If you haven't seen this Steven Speilberg produced & written, but not directed horror movie, it's worth a modern viewing. Original, yet tinged with all the classic elements of fear, this movie manages to tug on the heartstrings like a family-friendly drama while still being creepy as hell. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The best, most expensive Holiday Inn commercial ever made.

Pontypool - Good, but not as great as hyped. Characters are introduced haphazardly and the explanation for the horror barely tries to make sense. Still, not bad for a movie with essentially three characters stuck in a single location. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Possession (1981) - Described by some die-hard horror fans as a “must see,” I guess I agree. It’s by no means a masterpiece, but it’s bizarre enough to take the time to check out. It’s a sort of Cold War psychological horror as if written by Clive Barker and directed by David Cronenberg. Of course that comparison is necessary for American readers, but Polish director Andrzej Żuławski is an art-house favorite, whose second film was banned by his home government, causing him to move to France. Often panned for “over acting,” Isabelle Adjani actually won best actress at Cannes in 1981. Though, you may find one particular scene as if Shelley Duvall is having a bad acid trip. Part of the appeal of seeing this film is the difficulty in finding a copy. The DVD is out of print, and the new Mondo Blu-ray is limited to 2,000 copies at $70 a piece. Good luck. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. If you’re looking for something weird and very European, seek it out.

Prometheus - Perhaps because Ridley Scott’s return the franchise was expected to be such a welcome refresher after the abysmal failures of others in the series, this one was a pretty big let down. Though there are some cool concepts and frightening scenes, there are anger-inducing plot mistakes and zero sympathetic characters. Michael Fassbender’s performance is terrific, yet not enjoy to be an enjoyable view. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Psycho - Not as great at The Birds, but still one of the best. The superb shots, painfully slow clean up of the first kill, it’s no wonder why the film is landmark for horror. Anthony Perkins is tremendous. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Remember when Gus Van Sant remade this shot-for-shot for literally no reason and lost $30 million? It’s like he has to make one really terrible bomb after each critical hit and then crawl back again.

Pumpkinhead - The production quality of this 80s horror flick is surprisingly high, especially the Henson-like monster. Long story short - asshole dude bro accidentally kills hick kid, hick father calls up demon to seek revenge. All in all, not a bad movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Given the title, the monster's head in this movie is shockingly not very pumpkin-like. Boo.

A Quiet Place - John Krasinski gets a lot of credit for playing a well-intentioned father, which is an easier bridge to his well-known character from The Office, rather than a military member, like in many of his other projects. Emily Blunt is wonderful as is Millicent Simmonds. The creatures are scary, reminiscent of The Demogorgon in Stranger Things, and the plot is decent, even without much of an ending. I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to enjoy this film as much as I did. It seemed too “mainstream.” And, it is. But it’s also a well-executed, well-acted, well-produced product, which is much more difficult to pull off than it sounds. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth recommending to friends who aren’t even horror fans.

Rabid - No where near the level of Cronenberg’s best or even his subsequent film The Brood, but still very good. Apparently Cronenberg wanted Sissy Spacek to play the lead, but was shot down by the producers. Obviously Marilyn Chambers was selected to play up the porn star angle in the hopes of greater marketing for the indie, horror film out of Canada, but she does a great job in her first mainstream role. If you like any Cronenberg has done, you should watch this one. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Raw - A terrific coming-of-age, sexual-awakening, body-horror film that manages to retain its heart even as it pushes the limits. One of the best horror movies of the last decade. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Nom-nom.

Re-Animator - Creepy actor Jeffrey Combs is also in The Frighteners, which makes it a good nod in that flick. "Say hello to these, Michael!" When you see it, you'll get it. What can be said of this movie? It's crazy. It's great. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Gory, campy, funny and scary all at once, a definite classic.

Ready or Not - I wouldn’t go so far as to call this movie “clever,” but it’s certainly better than its absurd premise. Samara Weaving’s performance is really the only thing that keeps people watching. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Killing all the attractive help is played off as a joke, but . . . it’s not? At least rich people die.

Repulsion - After having to listen to her sister being drilled by some limey prick night after night in their shared apartment and a series of unwanted street advances triggers her past trauma, a young woman rightfully kills a stalker turned home intruder and her rapist landlord. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Return of The Living Dead  - This movie doesn’t give a wink and nod to horror tropes, it reaches out of the fourth wall to slap you in the face to create new ones. There’s an entire character that is just naked the whole movie. I understand that just because it’s a joke it doesn’t mean it’s not still sexist. But, also, you know, boobs. 4 out 5 pumpkins. What was created as camp became the foundation for modern zombies.

Return of the Living Dead III - A love story of sorts that takes a more series turn than the original. At first, I didn’t enjoy the uneven balance of camp and earnestness, but it oddly grows on you. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching to see what you think.

The Ritual - A Netflix original that is better than it needs to be about regret, trauma, and fear that gets right into the action and wraps fairly satisfying. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Rosemary's Baby - If you're looking for a sure party killer this October, put on this number and watch your guests fall asleep! Often forgot, the beginning and end of Rosemary's Baby are terrifying, expertly filmed scenes of dread, but the middle is a two-hour wink to the film's conclusion revolving around an expectant mother. Still, few other films can capture fear the way Polanski's does; all the more impressive that it stands up today. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. If you haven't seen this film, you owe it to yourself to watch it this season.

Scanners - Cronenberg’s 1981 film feels like a much more successful version of what De Palma attempted with The Fury. Dark, paranoid, and ultra-gory in key scenes, Scanners isn’t quite the perfect sci-fi horror, but it’s damn close. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Scream - For a movie that birthed an annoying amount of sequels and spoofs, it's sort of sad that Wes Craven's meta-parody ended up creating a culture of the very movies he was trying to rail against. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching again, even if you saw it last year.

Sea Fever - A good, but not great, tense thriller on sea. Plus, an important lesson in quarantine. Ultimately, it doesn’t go far enough to present its horror. A well-made, and even well-paced film with a limited cast and sparse special effects, though. There’s nothing explicitly “wrong” as the movie progresses, but a tighter script and bigger ratcheting of the horror could have made it a classic. The ending is kinda cheesy the more I think about it. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Could’ve used a sex scene with some impending doom is all I’m saying!

The Sentinel - I really wanted to love this one. Downstairs lesbians! Birthday parties for cats! Late 70s New York! Alas, its shaky plot and just baffling lack of appropriate cues make it mostly a jumbled mess only worth watching if that slow-burn 70s horror aesthetic is your thing. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Shallows - Mostly a vehicle for Blake Lively’s launch from TV to the big screen, this movies isn’t particularly good or bad. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. The shark has a powerful vendetta against Lively. What did she do?!

Shaun of the Dead - First in Three Flavours Cornetto, some of the jokes don’t land as well as they did in 2004, but still a great spin on the zombie genre with loads of laughs and a bit of heart. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Shining - The pinnacle of the form. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. "So why don't you start now and get the fuck outta here!" Harsh, but come on, Wendy kinda sucks.

Shivers - Cronenberg’s 1975 shocker flick is . . . fine. You certainly get to see how some of his body horror themes started. Cronenberg himself seems to see it as more of a film to watch to understand what not to do as a young director. If you’re a completist, definitely check it out. Otherwise just skip to 1977′s Rabid, if you’re looking for Cronenberg’s earlier work. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Not bad considering it was shot in two weeks.

Silent Night, Deadly Night - Whoo, boy. This one’s a ride. A decidedly anti-PC flick that caused calls for boycotts when it was first released, this movie is full of assault and uncomfortable situations. It’s also hilarious, gory, and worth watching in a large group. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Punish.

Sleepaway Camp - I must be missing something, because like Children of the Corn, I can’t understand why this movie became a cult-classic. A guy who openly talks about wanting to rape children is gruesomely maimed, so there’s that? I guess. A couple of these “kids” are definitely 34, while others are 14. Is this the basis for Wet Hot American Summer? I don’t know or care. 2 out 5 pumpkins. Just watch Friday the 13th.

Slither - Almost on the level of other spoofs, but with a few groan-worthy moments. Definitely one to watch if looking for something fun. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Not for the bug fearing.

The Slumber Party Massacre - Rita Mae Brown wrote this movie as a parody of the slasher genre that spawned so many Halloween copycats. It’s a bit unfortunate that we didn’t get her version. Author of pioneering lesbian novel Rubyfruit Jungle, Brown’s script was turned into a more straight-forward flick, giving the movie some baffling humor, like when one of the girls decides to eat the pizza from the dead delivery boy, and some untended humor, like the Sylvester Stallone issue of Playgirl. Lesbians undertones still prevail, as do lingering shots of gratuitous nudity, and enough phallic symbolism to write a paper about. All in all, a fun, albeit uneven movie with pretty decent dialogue. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: Director Amy Holden Jones got her start as an assistant on Taxi Driver, passed on editing E.T. after Roger Corman offered to finance early filming for her directorial debut, and later went on to write Mystic Pizza, Beethoven, Indecent Proposal, and The Relic. Bonus fact: Playgirl was able to get nude photos of Stallone based on his first movie The Party at Kitty and Stud’s (aka The Italian Stallion), for which Stallone was reportedly paid $200 to star in during a period in his life when he was desperate and sleeping in a New York bus station.

The Slumber Party Massacre II - If the first movie was a knock-off of Halloween, this is a bizarre rip-off of The Nightmare on Elm Street with a rockabilly twist. It’s hard to tell if this is a parody or a sort of musical vehicle for the Driller Killer, who—to his credit—is somehow almost charismatic enough to it pull off. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Somehow the weirdest movie I’ve ever watched.

The Slumber Party Massacre III - A return to form, in some respects. All the elements of the original are there: a slumber party, gratuitous nudity, a drill. But the driller killer’s poor-man’s Patrick Bateman character quickly becomes tired. Not terrible for a slasher flick, but not very good either. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. How many lamps to the head can Ken take? 

Species - If I asked you to name a movie staring Sir Benjamin Kingsley, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker and Michelle Williams, would you guess Species? No, no you fucking wouldn't. We all know Species, but I, like most, erased it from my memory. This was helpful for two reasons: first because for about the first half of the movie, you think there might be a decent flick happening - baring some obvious flaws of a blockbuster. Second because - holy shit - you get to see a ton of naked breasts in this movie, like way more than I remember. Unfortunately, about halfway through Species someone must have come in and realized having the B-squad Scully & Mulder be one step behind every instinct killing was boring as shit, and flashing tits every 20 mins wasn't going to hack it. Whatever Hollywood dickbag crafted this turd failed to realize the casting of the actor forever known as Bud from Kill Bill is the only white, macho-postering character that morons want to root for. And so we get a squint-faced protagonist getting blow jobs from a coworker scientist and an ending dumber than the boob tentacles he should have been strangled with. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There are worse horror movies, but there are also much better ones.

Starry Eyes - A thinly-veiled critique on Hollywood’s abusive history with actresses, the movie starts out well, but lags in the third act before a gruesome finale. Sort of a low-rent Mulholland Drive. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Watch out for that barbell, Ashley. 

The Stuff - Odd, mostly because of its uneven tone. Like if The Blob, The Live, and Canadian Bacon raised a baby and that disappointed its parents, like all babies eventually do. There are some good horror and comedic moments, but none of which make it great. The sound editing is remarkably bad, and the poor cuts make no sense given its scope. Oh well. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Suspiria - More of a focus on set, sound, and color than characters, Suspiria is reminiscent of the Japanese classic House, but with a more straightforward story. The Italian director, English language, and German setting make for an interesting, offbeat feel that adds to the overall weirdness of the movie. One cringe worthy scene in particular makes up for its immediate lack of logic, and the soundtrack by Goblin stands up on its own. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Sexist note: there’s a shocking lack of boobs given the subject matter.

Suspiria (2018) - Another in a long line of unnecessary remakes, though technically more of an homage. Luca Guadagnino’s version was supposedly developed for years alongside Tilda Swinton, who plays three different characters. Truthfully, without any attachment to the original, this could have been a muddled, but remarkable film. Thom Yorke’s score is perfect in certain scenes, yet detracting in others. The plot is similar in this manner. Some scenes are haunting and dense, but others needlessly detailed. The dance scenes are terrific, but weighed down by the larger war themes. The ending’s gore-fest is hampered by too much CGI, but still demonically fun. Fans of the original won’t find the weird, colorful elements to love, but it’s a good movie, albeit thirty minutes too long. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Taking of Deborah Logan - Good premise; found footage in the vein of Blair Witch Project of a demon possession disguised as Alzheimer’s disease. But, the movie can’t decide if it wants to stick to its foundation of a student documentary or veer into the studio-style editing and affects of theatrical release. Which is unfortunate as the former would have made it stand-out among a pack of mediocre ghost stories, while the later distracts from the setting it seeks to establish. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Teeth - A movie about the myth of vagina dentata could have been absolutely deplorable, but with the bar so low, Teeth does a pretty good job. Jess Weixler is a functional actress, not necessarily stand-out, but certainly far better than the role requires. Trying to tightrope walk between comedy and horror is never a task a creator should set out upon without a clear vision. Unfortunately, this one seems a bit blurry. One its release, Boston Globe said the movie “runs on a kind of angry distrust toward boys.” Not bad advice. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Terrifier - Do you want to see a naked woman hung upside down and sawed from gash to forehead? Then this is the movie for you. That’s it. There’s not much else here. Gino Cafarelli is good as the pizza guy. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. The clown is scary, though.

The Terror - A classic haunted throwback from Roger Corman, but without the nudity and gore his later work is infamous for. A young Jack Nicholson proves he was always kind of a prick. Boris Karloff does his best. The plot is pretty boring, but it’s a decent movie that you might stumble upon on a lazy afternoon on cable TV. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Tobe Hooper’s 1974 persuasive argument for vegetarianism is just as terrifying today as it was when it was released. Just as Halloween launched a thousand imitators, the hues and low angles in this film set the standard for horror for years and, unfortunately, laid the groundwork for more exploitative movies offered referred to as “torture porn.” Though gory, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s sense of weird dread is established well before the chainsaw rips, and though many have tried to follow in its footsteps, none have captured the lighting that adds to the overall queasy moments of the film. There’s a kind of simplistic beauty to such unexplained brutality, and perhaps because it was first, all others since haven’t seemed as artistically valuable. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. So, umm, what do you think happened to the Black Maria truck driver?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) - The only decent carry over from this remake is John Larroquette as the narrator. Over-washed tones, over-the-top gore and unsympathetic characters make this film more than unnecessary, placing among the worst horror remakes of all time. Robert Ebert gave it one of his rare 0 stars, reserved for works he found genuinely appalling such as I Spit On Your Grave, The Human Centipede 2, and most infamously John Waters’s Pink Flamingos. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

They Live - “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… And I'm all out of bubblegum." 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Thing - Trying to give this film an honest review is almost impossible. Cast out on its release for being too bizarre and gory, Carpenter’s nihilist tale has since come to be seen as a masterpiece for its special effects, bleak tone, and lasting impact on other creators. Is it perfect? No, but it’s damn close. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. MacReady’s assimilated. Deal with it.

Train to Busan - A bit too predictable, but a solid, well-paced zombie action flick that’s smarter than most American blockbusters from Korean director Yeon Sang-ho, who is better known for his semi-autobiographical animated features. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - I really didn't expect much out of this movie, but it's actually really, really funny and a really gory spoof. Not quite on the scale of The Cabin in the Woods, but still pretty damn great. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. If you don't think people getting hacked up by a chainsaw in certain contexts can be funny, then this probably ain't your bag.

Twins of Evil - An enjoyable, somewhat smutty vampire movie from the famous British studio Hammer Films, staring Peter Cushing and Playboy Playmates the Collinson twins. Directed by John Hough, who also directed The Legend of Hell House, the film doesn’t break any new ground and is loaded with over-acting, but it’s well-paced, wonderfully set, and generally fun to watch, where the Puritan witchfinders are just as horrible as the vampires. Not as great as Black Sunday, but still worth viewing. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Let Joachim speak, you racists.

Under the Skin - Mesmerizing and haunting. The less you know going into this film the better. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Quite possibly Scarlett Johansson’s best work.

Under the Silver Lake - Technically a “comedic neo-noir,” whatever the fuck that means; in any case David Robert Mitchell (It Follows) tries to do too much over too long of a run time. Andrew Garfield gives a decent performance, especially considering he’s in almost every frame of the film. But the edge-of-subtly that made It Follows so modern and terrifying is replaced by a silk, wandering, and heavy-handed stroll through the powerful Los Angeles entertainment Illuminati. Certainly there’s material there, but instead of being a radical stab at the very real institutions of pop-culture that treat young women as nothing more than disposable meat, we drift in and out of a young man’s lust that revels in objectification without the sleazy charm of exploitation flicks or the critical eye of outright satire. Even the eerily presence of the Owl Woman can’t level-up what is an exercise in arrested development for hipsters. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Despite this negative review, Mitchell still has plenty of potential to make another great film. Whether he deserves that chance is different question.

Us - Jordan Peele’s second film is even better than his great debut. Us isn’t perfect, but hints at what Peele could create in the future. Unnecessary explanation and slightly oddly timed humor are present, like in Get Out, but more restrained. Peele’s talent for making modern horror accessible to the widest audience is laudable. Still, I can’t wait to see what he makes two or three films down the road. I suspect more than one could come close to equaling that of Kubrik’s The Shinning. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. 

Vampire’s Kiss - Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? Is it a parody? Drama? This movie truly defies genre due to the inexplicable acting choices made by Nicholas Cage. His odd affectation doesn’t change from sentence to sentence, but word to word. It’s like he’s trying to play three different characters across three different acts all at once. Is it good? Not really. But, I mean, see it. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Vampyros Lesbos - After vigorous encouragement from my academic colleagues, I decided to watch this 1971 Spanish-German film for, umm, science. Shot in Turkey and staring the tragic Soledad Miranda, Jesús Franco’s softcore horror jumps right into full-frontal nudity and attempts a sort of story involving Count Dracula that moves forward through uninteresting monologues and shaky camera work. It’s not awful, but there’s no reason to watch it. If it was playing in the background at a dive bar, it might have a tinge of charm. Other than some close moments of near-unapologetic queer sex, despite being created almost entirely for the male gaze, it’s just another in the pile of European exploitation. Still, it’s fun to daydream about Istanbul being ruled by a dark-haired demonic lesbian; beats the hell out of what we have in our reality. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: The soundtrack found renewed fame in 1990′s Britain, causing it to finally find distribution into America.

The Vault - A serviceable, but ultimately boring horror take on a bank heist that tries to hard to end with a twist. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

V/H/S - Every review I've seen for this movie is generally positive, but that only reaffirms my belief that most people are easily pleased by unintelligent, unoriginal bullshit. A Blair Witch-style story-within-a-story collection of shorts, I couldn't get past the first borderline date-rape, little-girl, sexually confused, monster story. Fuck this trope. Fuck this movie. The much delayed glorification of grisly murder of the offending male villains is hardly radical and only further supports the stereotypes of patriarchy much as it attempts to subvert a worn genre. 0 out of 5 pumpkins. I hate the world.

Videodrome - Cronenberg’s best film. James Woods’s best role; it’s a shame that he’s total piece of shit in real life. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Long live the new flesh.

The Wailing - Despite clocking in at over two and half hours, this part zombie/part demon horror movie from Korean director Na Hong-jin isn’t a slow burn, but rather an intriguing maze of twists and turns as the main character (and audience) struggles to find the truth about a mysterious, murderous diseases sweeping through a small village. Actor Do-won Kwak gives an especially captivating performance. Though the ending packs a powerful punch, the overlapping lies and half-truths told over the course of the film makes it a bit difficult to suss out the evil roots. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

We Are Still Here - What sets out as a slowly paced ghost story turns into something of a gore-fest towards the ends, which doesn’t make it bad so much out of place. 3 out fo 5 pumpkins. Could’ve been a contender.

We Are What We Are - A remake of Jorge Michel Grau’s 2010 film, the American version takes its time getting to the horror before going a step too far at the end. Still, the ever-present knowledge that you’re watching a cannibal film makes some of predictable moments all-the-more horrifying. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare - The novel charm of Craven’s meta Freddy saga has worn with age. Heather Langernkamp is passable, but not enough to carry the film and Robert Englund out of makeup shatters the pure evil illusion of his character. Interesting to see some of the ideas that would later synthesize in Scream, but otherwise kind of a bore. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Witch: A New-England Folktale - A deeply unsettling period-piece that reflects on American religion and its violent fear of feminine power. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Trust no goat.

The Witches - Roald Dahl’s story is ultimately crushed by a changed ending, however, Nicolas Roeg‘s adaptation up to that point is a fun, creepy movie people of any age can enjoy. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s really a shame the original ending was changed.

Wolfcop - When a movie’s title promises so much, maybe it’s not fair to judge. But there’s so much campy potential in a werewolf cop picture that it’s kind of a bummer to see it executed at level that makes you wonder if it wasn’t made by high school kids whose favorite movie is Super Troopers. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. God, the movie’s horrible.

The World’s End - The final chapter in the Three Flavours Cornetto and the best, showcasing a wealth of talent at the top of their game. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

XX - Admittedly, I don’t care much for the recent spring of short horror anthologies. Rarely do they have enough time to build the necessary suspense horror movies require. Still, two of the shorts are OK, one is pretty good, and one is bad. So, not a total loss. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

You’re Next - Home-invasion horror as never been my cup of hippie tea as it feeds into the 2nd Amendment hero fantasy of American males. That said, this dark-comedy take on it isn't bad. Some things don’t really add up. For example: Are you telling me that the deep woods home of a former defense corporation employee doesn’t have a single gun stashed somewhere? Bullshit. Anyway, who doesn’t want to see a rich family’s bickering dinner interrupted by a gang of psycho killers? 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus rating: 6 out of 10 would fuck in front of their dead mother. (Sorry, mom.)

Zombeavers - No one would say this is a good movie, but it also doesn’t take itself too seriously. Not at funny as Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, and certainly more formulaic, this one’s only worth watching if you’re bored. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Zombi 2 - Lucio Fulci’s unofficial sequel to Dawn of the Dead is one of his best films. But even though Fulci crafted some of the best zombies to ever appear on screen—filmed in the bright, Caribbean sun, the film suffers, as most of his do, from some unnecessary, borderline confusing plot points and poor dubbing. Still, well worth watching on a lazy day, especially for the final act, when the protaganists fight off a zombie hoard inside a burning church. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus: topless scuba diving zombie shark fight, which is also my new DJ name.

[cardest]

Florida playlist

Are they still counting the votes in Florida, Nevada and...speaking of Florida. I made a Florida playlist and last Xmas, I updated it, added songs to it for my trip across the state. I visited Daddy Kool Records in Saint Petersburg, Wax Records in Vero Beach and St Pete Records. But in the hire car, this was my playlist across Florida. Made the road trip that much more awesome. Not to mention a fabulous meal at Nicko McBrain’s Rock n Ribs!

001 Bob Seger - Florida Time 002 Grant Peeples - Sunshine State 003 Faith No More - Land of Sunshine 004 Death - Defensive Personalities 005 Johnny Cash - Orange Blossom Special 006 NOCTURNUS AD - Precession Of The Equinoxes 007 They Might Be Giants - Oranges 008 Pretenders - Space Invader 009 Florida Man - Brain Cell 010 Kraftwerk - Spacelab 011 Man or Astroman - Super Rocket Rumble 012 ZZ Top - Gun Love 013 B 52s -There's a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon) 014 The Police - Walking On The Moon 015 Ohio Express - Jacksonville Station 016 Sam Jones and Co - Rhythm-a-Ning feat Thelonius Monk 017 Dick Dale - Misirlou (5-62) 018 GWEN McCRAE - Rockin Chair 019 CHRIS REA - Daytona 020 FREDDIE SCOTT - Are You Lonely For Me Baby 021 Devo - Space Junk 022 Janelle Monáe - Sally Ride 023 Lynyrd Skynyrd - Red, White And Blue 024 Tom Dissevelt - Ignition 025 Def Leppard - Rocket 026 I Dream Of Jeannie - Theme Song 027 Apollo 440 - Carrera Rapida (Theme from Rapid Racer) 028 David Byrne - Astronaut 029 Status Quo - [If You Can't Stand The Heat] Long Legged Linda 030 Elton John - Rocket Man 031 The Gathering - Liberty Bell 032 Captain Clegg And The Night Creatures - Redneck Vixen From Outerspace 033 Peter Schilling - Major Tom (German version) 034 Rush - Countdown 035 Masters Of Reality - Third Man On The Moon 036 Mudhoney - Orange Ball-Peen Hammer 037 Jan Howard - Bad Seed 038 Willbie Harrison - Florida Special 039 T. Rex - Space Boss 040 David Bowie - Starman 041 Beach Boys - Ten Little Indians 042 Obituary - Slowly We Rot 043 Paul Revere & The Raiders - Indian Reservation 044 Craig Leon - Donkeys Bearing Cups 045 Suzi Quatro - Daytona Demon 046 The Lively Ones - Surf Rider 047 The Outlaws - Green Grass and High Tides 048 The bellamy brothers redneck girl 049 Charles Bradley - Golden Rule 050 The Night Flight Orchestra - Floridian Eyes 051 Cynic - Celestial Voyage 052 Serg Salinas - Longnecks and Rednecks 053 Ramones - Surfin' Bird 054 KAMELOT - Liar Liar 055 Hank Williams Jr. - New South 056 Donald Fagen - Florida Room 057 Bonnie prince billy - west palm beach 058 Brutality - These Walls Shall Be Your Grave 059 Sammy Hagar - Trans Am 060 Billy Ray Cyrus - Redneck Heaven 061 Al Green - Are You Lonely for Me Baby 062 Mel Tillis - The Old Gangs Gone 063 Quiet Riot - Back To The Coast 064 Charles Bersntein - The Florida Cricket Frog 065 Six Feet Under - Hacked to Pieces 066 The Jesus And Mary Chain - Kill Surf City 067 Torche - Kicking 068 The Monkees - (I'd Go The) Whole Wide World 069 Savatage - Jesus Saves 070 Cannibal Corpse - Eaten back to life 071 Blue Mitchell - Blue Funk 072 Blues Brothers - Going Back To Miami 073 Rossington Collins Band - Don't Misunderstand Me 074 Original Surfaris - Exotic 075 Cher - Half Breed 076 The Beach Boys - Surfin' U.S.A. 077 John Anderson - Seminole Wind 078 Glenn Frey - The Heat Is On 079 Air Miami - Warm Miami May 080 MIAMI HORROR - Bellevue 081 Manfred Mann - Pretty Flamingo 082 Jack & Misty - Miami Sidewalks. 083 John Cougar - Miami 084 Ray Charles - every saturday night 085 Nat Adderley ‎ - Calling Out Loud 086 Jerry seinfeld - on florida drivers 087 THE SUPREMES beach ball 088 Weird Al Yankovic - Buy Me a Condo 089 Elvis Presley - Fort Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce 090 Agoraphobic Nosebleed - flamingo snuff 091 Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band - Miami 092 Dexter Theme Song 093 Sander Kleinenberg - This Is Miami 094 Power Station, The - Some Like It Hot 095 Zuider Zee - Miami 096 2 Live Crew - Be My Private Dancer 097 Harry Belafonte - [Sings Of The Caribbian] Haiti Cherie 098 The Night Flight Orchestra - Miami 502 099 Air Miami - Afternoon Train 100 Jans Hammer - Miami vice theme song 101 MC Hammer - Turn This Mutha Out 102 Iggy Pop - Pretty Flamingo 103 John Fogerty - Sea Cruise 104 The Beach Boys - I Get Around 105 Vanilla Ice - Ice ice baby 106 Earth - Miami Morning Coming Down II (Shine) 107 CSI Miami Opening Theme 108 Beastie boys - Heres Something For ya 109 Barry Manilow - Copacabana 110 Ice T - 99 Problems 111 Stool Pigeon - Kid Creole & The Coconuts 112 Elvis Presley - Clambake 113 The Love Boat - Theme 114 Alex Cameron - Miami Memory 115 Clutch - Arcadia 116 Miami Sound Machine - Dr Beat 117 Bruce Springsteen - Stand On It 118 The Replacements - Message To The Boys 119 Pat Benatar - I Feel Lucky 120 The Gun Club - Mother of Earth 121 Clay D - That Booty In There 122 Breakfast machine - Danny Elfman (Pee-Wees Big Adventure soundtrack) 123 Three Bars & No Bras - Caribbean Cruise 124 Was Not Was - I Blew Up The United States 125 The Night Flight Orchestra - Turn To Miami 126 Rory Gallagher - Daughter Of The Everglades 127 Nixa - Opus Tierra 128 ROY ORBISON - IM A SOUTHERN MAN 129 ZZ TOP - Heard It On The X 130 Debbie Harry - Chrome 131 Molly Hatchet - Gator Country 132 Monstrosity - Remnants Of Divination 133 Gretchen Wilson - Redneck Woman 134 Unknown Hinson - I Cleaned Out a Room (In my Trailer for You) 135 The Vandals - Gator Hide 136 Alabama - Clear Across America Tonight 137 Brooks & Dunn - Redneck Rhythm & Blues 138 Billy Ray Cyrus - The Fastest Horse in a One Horse Town 139 Rory Gallagher - Ride On Red, Ride On 140 Deicide - Trifixion 141 Tad morose - Power Of The Night (Savatage) 142 Joe Perry - 4 Guns West 143 The Mavericks - Brand New Day 144 Soulfly - No 145 Archon Angel - Fallen 146 Van Zant - My Kind Of Country 147 Buck Owens - It Takes People Like You (To Make People Like Me) 148 Perdition_Temple - Goddess In Death 149 Muddy Waters - Deep down in Florida 150 The Cramps - Alligator Stomp 151 Charles Bernstein - Skinny Dip 152 The Progressives - Hot Cinders 153 Trivium - Blind Leading The Blind 154 Diabolic - Supreme Evil 155 The Glaciers - Holiday Hill 156 L7 - Everglade 157 Dave Matthews Band - Alligator Pie 158 Black Witchery - Desecration of the Holy Kingdom 159 S.O.D. - Shenanigans 160 Cave of Swimmers - Reflection 161 The Bellamy Brothers - You Aint just whistlin Dixie 162 Atheist - Retribution 163 ZZ Top - Alley Gator 164 Merle Haggard - If We're Not Back in Love by Monday 165 Lynyrd Skynyrd Workin' For MCA 166 Tedeschi Trucks Band - Come See About Me 167 Kc And The Sunshine Band - Get Down Tonight 168 Cynic - Integral Birth 169 Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - About To Give Out 170 Saigon Kick - All I Want 171 Maruta - Submergence AKA Barren Oceans of Infinity 172 Omen - S.R.B. 173 Styx - [The grand illusion] Miss America 174 Nine Inch Nails - Big Man With A Gun 175 UV-TV - Fear 176 Death - In Human Form 177 WRONG - Stop Giving 178 Peter Gabriel - Kiss That Frog 179 Randy Newman - rednecks 180 Beach Boys - Still Cruisin' 181 Johnny Cash - Southern Accents 182 Carole King - Alligators All Around 183 Waylon Jennings - Everglades 184 Screamin' Jay Hawkins - Alligator Wine 185 Foxboro Hotboobs - Alligator 186 Grateful Dead - Alligator 187 Hate Eternal - Lake Ablaze 188 Charles Bernstein - Mating Call of the American Toad, Bufo Americanus 189 Roky Erickson - It's a Cold Night for Alligators 190 Demons & Wizards - The Gunslinger 191 The Travelers - Spanish Moon 192 Tom T. Hall - Gone To Hell In A Basket 193 Manassas - Witching Hour 194 The Trammps - Love epidemic 195 White Witch - Crystallize & Realize 196 Cornells - Beachbound 197 Ween - Ocean Man 198 Florida Gators fight song 199 Dick Diver - Waste the Alphabet 200 Iggy Pop - Dirty Sanchez 201 Steve Miller Band - Kow Kow Calqulator 202 DRUID LORD - House of Dripping Gore 203 Lou Reed - Last Great American Whale 204 Rob Zombie - White Trash Freaks 205 Acheron - Raptured To Divine Perversion 206 Hank Williams Jr - Amos Moses 207 Bo Diddley - Hush Your Mouth 208 Obituary - Redneck Stomp 209 Tornadoes - Shootin' Beavers 210 Beach Boys - Kokomo 211 Los Straitjackets - Rockula 212 Bob Seger - Sunspot Baby 213 Morbid Angel - Existo Vulgoré 214 Lil Texas Assholes - Redneck Like Me 215 LOVE AND ROCKETS - HOLIDAY ON THE MOON EXPRESS 216 Dr Feelgood - Hurricane 217 Handsome - Swimming 218 Nocturnus - Aquatica 219 Bobby Freeman - -C'mon And Swim- 220 Atheist - Piece of Time 221 Malevolent Creation - Systematic Execution 222 Scott Engel - Devil Surfer 223 The Challengers - Satan's Theme 224 Massacre - [From Beyond] Cryptic Remains 225 Paris - The Devil Made Me Do It 226 Danny Toan - Snapper city 227 The Frogmen - Underwater 228 Melvins - Stop Moving To Florida 229 Charles Bernstein - Warning Croak of the Florida Gopher Frog 230 Crawl OST - Race Day 231 Deftones - Gore 232 Death - Born Dead 233 Morbid Angel - Beneath the Hollow 234 Nat Adderley - St. M 235 Assück - Salt Mine 236 CRIMSON GLORY - Red Sharks 237 Municipal Waste - Jesus Freaks 238 The Tornadoes - Bustin' Surfboards 239 Sonic Graffiti - Ghost of Betrayal 240 Bloodbather - The-Final-Request-by 241 Iced Earth - Dystopia 242 Queens Of The Stone Age - I Sat By The Ocean 243 Dick Dale & The Del-Tones - Surf Beat 244 Warmduscher - The Sweet Smell Of Florida 245 Jon Oliva's Pain - Maniacal_Renderings 246 Jan and Dean - Surf City 247 Blue Oyster Cult - Eye Of The Hurricane 248 Tandems - Beyond The Surf 249 supertortas - LETRAS 15 250 Suffocation - Effigy of the Forgotten 251 Hawkwind - Opa-Loka 252 Worm - Abysmal Dimensions 253 Van Halen - Honeybabysweetiedoll 254 ABHOMINE - Buried with Pig 255 Faster Pussycat - Aint No Way Around It 256 ASG - Florida Sleep On 257 Swashbuckle - Scurvy Back 258 Dave Myers And His Surf-Tones - Gear! 259 Ry Crapper - Going To Tampa 260 THE ABSENCE - Do What You Want (Bad Religion cover) 261 Hank Williams Jr. - Ten Ton Load 262 Dave Allen Coe - Blue Grass Morning 263 David Bowie - Moonage Daydream 264 Jungle Brothers - Because I Got It Like That 265 Animal Collective - A Manatee Dance 266 Tom Petty - I Dont Know What To Say To You 267 Blasphemic Cruelty - Icons of Revolt 268 "Weird Al" Yankovic - CNR 269 The Allman Brothers Band - Stand Back 270 Edenbridge - On the Other Side 271 BOLDER DAMN - Rock On 272 Original Surfaris - Surfs Up 273 PARISH_-Danger_Zone 274 Bill Haley - See You Later Alligator 275 Circle_II_Circle_-_Who_Am_I_to_Be 276 Black Sabbath - Dirty Women 277 The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations 278 Molly Hatchet - Kickstart To Freedom 279 Charles Berstein - A Large Breeding Chorus of Florida Gopher Frogs 280 NASTY SAVAGE - Unchained Angel 281 Orville Peck - Dead of Night 282 Blotto - I Wanna Be A Lifeguard 283 Mel Tillis - Little Ole Wine Drinker Me 284 Fair to Midland - Dance of the Manatee 285 Blackfoot_Highway_Song 286 Jan Davis - Surfbuster 287 The Supremes - Surfer Boy 288 Byrds - Psychodrama City 289 Catch A Wave - The Beach Boys 290 The Surfaris - Wipe Out 291 Cannibal Corpse - Gutted 292 Obituary - Chopped in Half 293 TIMMY VULGAR'S GENETIC ARMADGEDDON - Fall Of Man 294 Pee Shy - Mr. Whisper 295 Order of Ennead - As Long As I Have Myself I Am Not Alone 296 George McCrae - Rock Your Baby 297 Morbid Angel - Chapel of Ghouls 299 Deicide - Dead by Dawn 300 Joe Woe - Talk Me Out Of Tampa 666 Queens Of The Stone Age - Smooth Sailing Ok....so who or what song have I missed?

[uneminuteparseconde]

Des concerts à Paris et alentour en gras : les derniers ajouts :-: in bold: the last news Mars 02. DIIV – La Gaîté lyrique ||COMPLET|| 03. Napalm Death + EYEHATEGOD + Misery Index + Rotten Sound – La Machine 03. Scorpion Violente + Air LQD – Quai de Bourbon 03. Handle + CIA Debutante + David Fenech – Espace B 03/04. The Mission – Petit Bain 04. David Fenech & Laurent Perrier + Phanes – Quai de Bourbon 05. Dorian Pimpernel + Mooon – Supersonic (gratuit) 05. TZII + Sacrifice Seul – Quai de Bourbon 05. Instant Voodoo + Laurence Wasser – Le Zorba 05. Orange Blossom : “Sharing” avec les machines de François Delarozière – Élysée Montmartre 05. King Dude + Biere noire – La Boule noire 06. Frustration + Italia 90 – Le Trianon 06. Electric Fire + Fantazio et les Turbulents (Sonic Protest) – Les Voûtes 06. UVB76 + Gaël Segalen – Café de Paris 06. France + Autrenoir + Aho Ssan + Astrid Sonne + Keki + Janomax – La Station 06. Violent quand on aime + Officium + Matière danse – Espace B 06. Chris Liebing + AZF – Dehors Brut 07. Sourdure – La Lingerie|Les Grands Voisins (gratuit) 07. L’atelier d’éveil musical du centre social Raymond-Poulidor + Foudre rockeur (Sonic Protest) – Les Voûtes 07. Substencia + Eastel + MZA – tba 07. Dave Clarke + Kuss + Murd + Toscan Haas – Dehors Brut 07. ABSL + Mind Matter + NN aka Primitive Tribe – Caves Lechapelais 07. Alcest + Birds In Row + Kælan Mikla – La Machine ||COMPLET|| 07. Ensemble intercontemporain joue Steve Reich : cinéconcert sur un film de Gerhard Richter – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie ||COMPLET|| 10. Tempers + Alessio Peck + Josee Laïka – Supersonic (gratuit) 10. Jerusalem in my Heart + Méryll Ampe et les élèves de l’Ensapc + Lucretia Dalt (Sonic Protest) – La Dynamo (Pantin) 10. Arnaud Rebotini : live pour “Fix Me” d’Alban Richard – Centre des Arts (Enghien-les-Bains) 11. Mopcut + F-Space + We Use Cookies + Astra Zenecan (Sonic Protest) – La Station 11. Morrissey – Salle Pleyel 11. Nada Surf + John Vanderslice – La Cigale ||COMPLET|| 12 Thomas Bégin + JD Zazie (Sonic Protest) – La Muse en circuit (Alfortville) 13. Russian Circle + Torche – Bataclan 13. Jean Jean + All Caps + Quadrupède – Quai de Bourbon 13. Bernardino Femminielli – Le Zorba 13. Emptyset + Hair Stylistics + Méryll Ampe (Sonic Protest) – L’Échangeur (Bagnolet) 13. Ballaké Sissoko & Vincent Segal – Le Colombier (Ville d’Avray) 14. Panico Panico + Tabatha Crash + Cosse – ESS’pace 14. Lonely Walk + Tamara Goukassova + Shock – Espace B 14. Why The Eye + WAqWAq Kingdom + Maria Violenza + Fleuves noirs + Jean-Marc Foussat + Julia Hanadi Al Abed + Pierre Gordeeff (Sonic Protest) – L’Échangeur (Bagnolet) 15. Nosfell (Mondial du tatouage) – Grand Halle de La Villette 15. Das Synthetische Mischgewebe & Anla Courtis + Ricardo Dias Gomes & Loïc Ponceau + Seijiro Murayama & Florian Tositti + Phanes – Les Pianos (Montreuil) 16. Hällas + La Secte du Futur + Meurtrières – La Maroquinerie 17. Chelsea Wolf – La Gaîté lyrique ||COMPLET|| 18. Pelada + Eye + Fiesta En El Vacio (Ideal Trouble) – Petit Bain 18. Lee Scratch Perry & Adrian Sherwood + 2Decks + Zaraz Wam Zagram (Sonic Protest) – Église Saint-Merry 18. This Quiet Army & Tom Malmendier + John Robin-Bold – Quai de Bourbon 19. HP (Haswell & Powell) + Inga Huld Hakonadrottir & Yann Legay + Asmus Tietchens + Regreb “2 Cymbals” (Sonic Protest) – Église Saint-Merry 19. Boubacar Cissokho (Paris Music) – Bibliothèque historique de la Ville de Paris 19. Maulwürfe – Musée d’Orsay 20. Bleib Modern + Order 89 + Blind Delon + IV Horsemen + Paulie Jan + Codex Empire + Opale + Panzer + DJ Varsovie (fest. des souvenirs brisés) – Petit Bain 20. Jon Hopkins – Salle Pleyel 20. Martin Kohlstedt + Manu le Malin joue Barbara (Paris Music) – Musée des Arts et Métiers 20. Yan Wagner + Madben (Paris Music) – Cathédrale américaine 20. Monolithe noir + Paulie Jan – Quai de Bourbon 20. Senyawa + Bonne humeur provisoire + Black Trumpets (Sonic Protest) – La Marbrerie (Montreuil) 20. Paula Temple + 16H07 b2b Ket Robinson + Ma Čka – Yoyo|Palais de Tokyo 20. Ellen Allien + Shlømo – Dehors brut 20. Ensemble Dedalus : "Occam Ocean" d'Éliane Radigue – Le Studio|Philharmonie ||COMPLET|| 21. Stephen O’Malley – Médiathèque musicale de Paris (gratuit) 21. Mind/Matter + Die Orangen + Mitra Mitra + Qual + Rendered + Verset Zero + Years of Denial (fest. des souvenirs brisés) – Petit Bain 21. Container + Muqata’a + OD Bongo + Diatribes & Horns + Jealousy Party + Urge + Wirklich Pipit + Me Donner + Cancelled + FLF + 2Mo (Sonic Protest) – Le Générateur (Gentilly) 21. GZA – La Marbrerie (Montreuil) 21. ABSL + Anetha + Hektos Oaks + High Future + Randomer + Sugar – tba 21. Front 242 + She Past Away – Élysée Montmartre ||COMPLET|| 21/22. Laurie Anderson : "The Art of Falling" – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie ||COMPLET|| 22. Mike Cooper + Yann Legay + Will Guthrie & Ensemble Nist-Nah + Cheb Gero (Sonic Protest) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) 24. Skemer + IV Horsemen + Silly Joy – Supersonic (gratuit) 24. Joe Gideon – Espace B 24. I’d M Theft Able + Teenage God + Suicide Motorhead + Notre Travail bénéfique – Le Balto Otlab (Montreuil) 25. Low House (Eugene S. Robinson & Putan Club) + Moodie Black – Petit Bain 25. Wrekmeister Harmonies – Espace B 25. Buzzkull + Kontravoid + Crystal Geometry – Badaboum 25. Kumusta + Crash Normal – L’International 25. Li Li-Chin + Onceim & Li Li-Chin – Église Saint-Merry 25>28. Èlg + Vincent Epplay & Timo Van Luijk + Dominique Petitgand… (Fest. Interférences) – Centre Wallonie-Bruxelles (gratuit) 27. Lebanon Hanover – La Gaîté lyrique 27. Baston – L’International 27. Maggy Payne : « Crystal » (diff.) + 9T Antiope + John Wiese + Matthias Puech + Nihvak (fest. Présences électronique) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 27. Mongolito + Biere Noire + Bisous De Saddam + Léa Jacta Est + Club Passion (Croux fest.) – Café de Paris 28. Ensemble Links : "Drumming" de Steve Reich + Cabaret contemporain joue Kraftwerk – théâtre de la Cité internationale 28. Iannis Xenakis : « Mycenae Alpha » (diff.) + Marja Ahti + Rashad Becker + Nina Garcia + Kode9 (fest. Présences électronique) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 28. Cut Hands + NAH + Shit&Shine + France Sauvage + Burris Meyer + UVB76 (dj) – Petit Bain 28. Satan + Noyades + S.O.L.A.N + Traitors + Accès de faiblesse (Croux fest.) – Espace B 28. Denis Frajerman + David Fenech – Plateforme 28. Balladur + Bracco + Coeval + Bajram Bili (dj) – La Boule noire 28. 14anger + Brecc + Oguz + Fuerr + Draugr + Atim – tba 29. Ivo Malec : « Recitativio » + Eve Aboulkheir + Richard Chartier + Lee Gamble + Will Guthrie & Mark Fell (fest. Présences électronique) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 31. M!R!M – Espace B 31. Leandro Barzabal + AVC + Vulcanizadora – Instants Chavirés (Montreuil) Avril 01. Lea Bertucci – tbc 02. The Futurians + CIA Debutante – Instants Chavirés (Montreuil) 02. Shannon Wright + Melaine Dalibert (Piano Day) – La Marbrerie (Montreuil) 03. Kuniyuki Takahashi & Henrik Schwarz + Hugo LX & DJ Nori + Akiko Nakayama (Japan Connection fest.) – La Gaîté lyrique 03. Tamara Goukassova + Constance Chlore – Le Zorba 03. Victoria Shen + Meryll Ampe + Golem mécanique – Instants Chavirés (Montreuil) 03. CocoRosie – Le Trianon ||COMPLET|| 04. Hiroaki Umeda + Nonotak + Aalko + Make It Deep Soundsystem (Japan Connection fest.) – La Gaîté lyrique 04. Satoshi Tomiie & Kuniyuki + Hiroshi Watanabe + DJ Masda + Akiko Kiyama + Daisuke Tanabe + Intercity-Express (Japan Connection fest.) – La Gaîté lyrique 04. Ash Code – Espace B 04. 2kilos &More & Black Sifichi + Plurals – Le vent se lève 04. OOIOO – Lafayette Anticipations 04. Katie Gately – Sacré 04. Wow + Laura Palmer – L’International 06. Julie Doiron – Espace B 06. Bauhaus – Grand Rex 08. Föllakzoid + UVB76 – Espace B 09. Will Samson + Northwest + Lyson Leclercq – Le vent se lève 09. The Chap + Rubin Steiner Live Band – Badaboum 10. Ventre de biche + Badaboum + Videodrome + A Ten Year Later + Paolo Tecon + Le Compas dans l’œil – La Station 10. Manu Le Malin + Popof + Nout Heretik + Noisebuilder + Electrobugz + Krïs Heretik + Broke Heretik + Aness Heretik + Split Heretik + Tom Buld'r.Heretik + Limka + Le Jall + Boubou Antinorm17 – tba 11. Infecticide + Astaffort Mods + Mono Siren – Supersonic (gratuit) 11. IAMX – Café de la danse 12. VTSS + Hadone – tba 14. Lucy Railton & Joe Houston jouent "Patterns in a chromatic field" de Morton Feldman – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 14/15. Metronomy – La Cigale 16/17. Metronomy – La Cigale ||COMPLET|| 17. Facs + ISaAC – Petit Bain 18. Siglo XX – La Boule noire 19. Rome + Primordial + Moonsorrow – La Machine 20. Big ‡ Brave + Jessica Moss – La Boule Noire 23. Volkor X + ToutEstBeau + Aphélie – Supersonic (gratuit) 23. Health + Pencey Sloe + Dead – Petit Bain 24. Parade Ground – L’International 25. Selofan + Jupiter Jane – Supersonic (gratuit) 25. Tim Tama + Vladimir Dubyshkin + Trym + Regal + Parfait – tba 26. Pharmakon + Deeat Palace + Unas (Ideal Trouble) – Petit Bain 26. Igorrr + Author & Punisher + Otto Von Schirach – La Cigale 27. Dean Wareham joue "On Fire" de Galaxie 500 – Petit Bain 27. Caribou – L’Olympia 27. The Foals + The Murder Capital – Zénith 28. Ulver – L’Alhambra 29. Protomartyr – La Boule Noire 29. Movie Star Junkies + Sam Fleisch + Tibia – Gibus 30. Conflict + The Filaments – Gibus Mai 02. Richie Hawtin – T7 05. The Sonics + Messer Chups – Trabendo 06. hackedepicciotto + Laurence Wasser – Espace B 07. Laurent Perrier & David Fenech – Souffle Continu (gratuit) 07. Trrmà – Le Zorba 08. Max Richter : "Infra" + Jlin + Ian William Craig – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie ||COMPLET|| 09. Max Richter : "Voices" – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 09. Jonas Gruska + Leila Bordreuil + Jean-Philippe Gross + Kali Malone (fest. Focus) – Le 104 09. Extrawelt + Oxia + Popof + Wuza + O'Tawa – Le Kilowatt (Ivry/Seine) 10. Iannis Xenakis : « La Légende d’Eer » + Folke Rabe : « Cyclone » et « What ??? » (fest. Focus) – Le 104 10. Max Richter : "Recomposed" & "Three Worlds" – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie ||COMPLET|| 11. Cannibale + Frankie and the Witch Fingers + Euromilliard – La Maroquinerie 11. The Electric Soft Parade + Tim Keegan – Petit Bain 13. Wire – La Maroquinerie 13. Austra – Badaboum ||COMPLET|| 14. Aksak Maboul + JFDR + Powerdove (Le Beau festival) – La Boule noire 15. Palberta + Michelle Blades + Good Morning TV (Le Beau festival) – La Boule noire 16. Tops + Corridor + Polycool + Myriam Stamoulis + La Veillée Pop (Le Beau festival) – La Station 16. Black Midi – Carreau du Temple 19. Swans + Norman Westberg – Le Trabendo 16. Hermann Kopp & Lorenzo Abattoir + Fusiller + Sang-Foutre – Quai de Bourbon 20>24. Giant Swan + Otoboke Beaver + Sinead O’Brien + Kills Birds + Vanishing Twin + Kit Sebastian + Jardin + Rouge Gorge + Derya Yildirim & Grup Şimşek + Holy Fuck + Gabber Modus Operandi + Balladur + Crystallmess (dj) + Squid + Glitter + Black Country, New Road + Murman Tsuladze + Tôle froide + Sorry + Donny Benet + La Créole + La Récré + Lewsberg + Lido Pimienta + Moesha 13... (Villette sonique) – La Villette 20. The Jesus & Mary Chain jouent “Darklands” + Carla Del Forno (Villette sonique) – Grande Halle de La Villette 21. Yves Tumor + Pottery + Disq (Villette sonique) – Trabendo 22. Robert Aiki Aubrey Lowe + Kristin Anna (Carte blanche Stephen O’Malley/Villette sonique) – Grande Halle de La Villette 22. Kim Gordon (Villette sonique) – Cabaret sauvage 22. François Bayle : « Le Projet Ouïr » + Marco Parini : « De Parmegiani Sonorum » + Yan Maresz (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 23. Tout Est Beau (Villette sonique) – parc de La Villette 23. Julien Négrier + Hans Tutschku : « Provenance-émergence » + Félicia Atkinson : « For Georgia O’Keefe » + Warren Burt + Michèle Bokanowski (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 24. Philippe Mion + Pierre-Yves Macé : « Contre-flux II » + Daniel Teruggi : « Nova Puppis » + Adam Stanovitch + Gilles Racot : « Noir lumière » (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 23/24. Damon Albarn – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie ||COMPLET|| 25. The Church – Petit Bain 26. Minimal Compact – La Machine 30/31. Paula Temple + Dave Clarke + Ben Klock + Len Faki + 999999999 + VTSS b2b Shlomo + DVS1 + François X… (Marvellous Island) – île de loisirs de Vaires-Torcy Juin 01/02. The Dead C – Instants Chavirés (Montreuil) 03. Bambara – Espace B 04. Phill Niblock + Tim Shaw – Instants Chavirés (Montreuil) 05. And Also The Trees – La Maroquinerie 06/07. Four Tet + Nils Frahm + Park Hie Jin + Modeselektor… (fest. We Love Green) – Bois de Vincennes 12. The Breath of Life + Box and the Twins – Gibus 13. Flat Worms (Ideal Trouble) – Gibus 14. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Bercy Arena 18. Acid Mothers Temple – Espace B 27. Meryem Aboulouafa + Nicolas Godin (Days Off) – Cité de la musique 28. Ensemble Social Silence joue “Music for Airport” de Brian Eno (Days Off) – Studio|Philharmonie 28. Wooden Elephant joue “Kid A” de Radiohead (Days Off) – Amphithéâtre|Cité de la musique 29. Alva Noto & Ryuichi Sakamoto + Echo Collective joue “12 Conversations with Thilo Heinzmann” de Jóhann Jóhansson (Days Off) – Salle Boulez|Philharmonie 30. Emilíana Torrini & The Colorist Orchestra + Agnes Obel (Days Off) – Salle Boulez|Philharmonie Juillet 01. Apparat – Le Trianon 01. Arandel : “InBach” (Days Off) – Amphithéâtre|Cité de la musique 02. Orchestre de Paris : “Symphony No. 1 "Low"” de Philip Glass + “Music for Ensemble and Orchestra” de Steve Reich (Days Off) – Salle Boulez|Philharmonie 03. Perfume Genius + Anna Calvi  (Days Off) – Cité de la musique 04. Nicolás Jaar : musique pour la pièce chorégraphique “¡miércoles!” de Stéphanie Janaina (Days Off) – Studio|Philharmonie 04. Kevin Morby + Andrew Bird Symphonique (Days Off) – Salle Boulez|Philharmonie 04. Boy Harsher + Partiboi69 + Otim Alpha + Jonny Rock + La Famille Maraboutage + Catu Diosis… (Macki Music) – Parc de la Mairie (Carrières/Seine) ||COMPLET|| 05. Ben UFO + Jamie Tiller b2b Orpheu The Wizard + Murman Tsuladze + The Pilotwings + Flegon… (Macki Music) – Parc de la Mairie (Carrières/Seine) 05/06. Suzanne Vega, Ensemble Ictus & Collegium Vocale Gent : “Einstein on the Beach” de Philip Glass (Days Off) – Cité de la musique 07. The Rapture + Sons of Raphael (Days Off) – Salle Boulez|Philharmonie 17. Björk – Seine Musicale (Boulogne-Billancourt) 17/18. Grim + Galerie Schallschutz + Am Not + Linekraft + Deathpanel + Detrimental Effect + African Imperial Wizard – Les Voûtes 18. Oh Sees – Cabaret sauvage 20. Björk – Seine Musicale (Boulogne-Billancourt) Août 29. Massive Attack (Rock en Seine) – parc de Saint-Cloud Septembre 27. Mudhoney – La Maroquinerie 30. Peter Hook & The Light : Joy Division. A Celebration – Bataclan