#wit tea

[theoffingmag]

...the docent is uncomfortable talking about your letters. She says you and old girl used to sleep in the same bed because it was cold outside, that many Victorian ladies would have done the same, that it was normal. At least we can agree on that part. She keeps bringing up the fact that you didn’t have kids like it’s confusing, as though there is something mysterious about wanting peace, quiet, and endless hours for poetry and repotting plants.

— Rita Mookerjee, "Voicemail for Emily Dickinson"

[boxyheadbry]

Final Chef - extended (but not yet final) cut. Real-time ambiance added - straight from the shop on a busy doomsday brunch hour. The Witness continues to serve his famous DimSum along with a side of warlock wasabi sushi and titan milk tea. (Sorry no hunter yet)

[henneseyhoe]

“this imagine is inspired by taylor swi-“ oh i know what you are and i know what the reader is written to be 💀💀

[lexosaurus]

now that i've spilled the beans to you all on what my irl day job is i should totally make a "REAL day in the life of Mr Lancer feat. Danny's inevitable IEP accommodations" fic

[kalofi]

boys who snork mimimi vs girls who honk shoo

[grandapplewit]

AU where Shen Yuan, soon after Binghe falls into the Abyss, loses all his memories of Shen Qingqiu. He assumes that he transmigrated into some no name NPC, and enjoys his life as a rogue cultivator completely oblivious to the Heavenly Demon and multiple Peak Lord’s tearing the world apart trying to find him.

[chickenoptyrx]

I have moved from 'wanna draw gators.' to 'wanna draw the crusher corps guys.' ...using templates that were popular like 5+ years ago :D also gohans there cause I needed another guy ┐(‘～` )┌

[manda-kat]

Religious freedom isn't "I have the freedom to never hear about other people's religions and if they share about their faith they're shoving it down my throat!"

With freedom of religion, people have the right to go door to door saying 'Do you know our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?' And with freedom of religion YOU have the right to say 'no' and close the door.

[ivytea]

guillermo del toro’s pinocchio is living in MY heart.....

[arcane-trail]

🔮 Witchy Goth & Pagan Shop 🔮

Use code “TUMBLR” for 20% off

[theoffingmag]

Please choose from the following menu options. Listen carefully, as our selections may have changed. If you know your party’s extension, you may dial it at any time. If you are calling about an existing reservation, or if you would like to make a new reservation, press nothing, your reservation is confirmed, you are already signed up, it’s going to happen, and there’s nothing you can do about it. The reservation is made. If you are calling because you would like to cancel your reservation, press one to hear the sound of a distant, hollow laughter. There’s no turning back now. Everything is in motion. If you are currently in the middle of your reservation and are experiencing difficulties or require assistance of any kind, press the palm of your hand to the center of your chest, feel your breath, and understand that no one is coming, that you are alone, and that this reservation is yours and nobody else’s.

— Dolan Morgan, "One Eight Hundred"

[oeuvrinarydurian]

Following in the footsteps of the legendary “Banbury Station, 3 a.m.”, produced by @too-antigonish, and the acclaimed follow up produced by @astridcontramundum, I present to you, the spoken word stylings of our own Simple Country Pathologist, Max DeBryn.

Fellow Tumblrians, please join me at the album release party at The Eagle and Child, as we lift a glass and enjoy our favourite Declaimer of Death as he shares Deep Thoughts and Medical Bon Mots.

Track listing (with bonus track at the end featuring a surprise guest).

Love and Fishing: The Wit and Wisdom of Max DeBryn

Nothing Here to Frighten the Horses

Something of a Salmagundi

“I'm a Pathologist, Not a Road Sweeper”; a witty homage to DeForrest Kelley

The Last of the Red Hot Livers, or, I Never Met a Neil Simon Pun I Didn’t Like

Alimentary, My Dear Morse:  A Meditation on Saveloy and Chips 

This Was No Punting Accident (It Wasn't a Boat Propeller. And It Wasn't Lizzie Borden):  A Cautionary Tale About Water

 Love's Very Popular

Tripes in a Tub (featuring Baby Morse)

Numb To Life (A Ode to Seconal)

Septic Tank. What a Treat.

Been At the Keats Again, Sergeant? (featuring Jim Strange)

 Just a Hint of Sucrose (People Do Despair, Morse)

 An Elegant Sufficiency, a.k.a. Deficient to the Tune of One Head

A Man Loves What He Loves:  Steak and Kidney at the Eagle.

All That Flesh (To Be Read At a Stag Do)

"And one was fond of me: and all are slain."/“Ask me no more, for fear I should reply.”, A. E. Housman Was a Friend of Mine, a Lament with E. Morse

Bonus Track:  Signs and Wonders, Feat. Fred Thursday 

[punkeropercyjackson]

[mochiajclayne]

Kurama and Sukuna watching their respective vessels interact with their homosexual shounen rival and say silly goofy gay statements™️ like carrying burdens and dying together and/or not affording to die because the other will kill them if they die again.

[a-roguish-gambit]

More romy for the turn of the century AU

again, I mentioned that gambit never went to a formal school. Public school didn't exist nationwide till the start of the 1910s. he learned to read and write and do math at a free Sunday school, but didn’t learn anything else unless he read it or had to learn it for his thief profession. He did learn quite a bit though through those things, but he likes having little tutoring sessions with rogue as a result, and she’s more than happy to teach him literary history in return for, learning some crafts like whittling, but mostly just for his company, alone, with a snack, in a nice quiet area where no one can bother them. ❤️

[tamagotchikgs]

i just remembered minecraft exists i am about 2 get so fuckn cozy