#wish me luck i actually go to sleep
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Okay it is now 6am, I have written 6 paragraphs, and I am going to sleep
#wish me luck i actually go to sleep#I keep trying and then grabbing my phone and opening obsidian back up#my stomach is also growling but it will have to wait a few hours while I sleep I have nothing to give it rn#(I don’t think it’s happy I only had chips and two protein drinks yesterday)
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i've managed to get really far with my ep4 meta, i've only got just over 3 scenes left (the "be my bf" scene, style finding out the truth, the gym scene, and i gotta finish the nc scene) but the problem is that i've only got about 4h left which i'll probably need to write it all up in the first place (also it's less than 3h bc i'm also travelling) and then i would still need to make the gifs and proof read it, which is also gonna be time consuming rip
#i was considering doing another binge-writing session but then at 3am i was so super tired#bc i hadn't slept well the night before#that i decieed it was better for me to go to sleep instead#and i did something i NEVER do: i actually got up EARLY just to do some more writing for my meta lmaooo#the things this show has me do....#airenyah plappert#thk#adrm#ah well let's see how much meta i'll get done on the train#my uni assignment be damned lmao#unfortunately i got RIGHT up to the nc part this morning which means i'll have to write about it in public kdjdjdjf#wish me luck no one will be sitting next to me so i can actually pull up the ep on the screen if i need to look something up#i mean atp i've looked over-analyzed this scene so much and stared at so many gifs#that i could probably do it from memory#but still djfjfjfjjfnf
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I drew all of my historical AU Sebs!!!!
In order they are(with relevant links to lore info if you are curious!!): Napoleonic Hussar Seb(x), Renaissance Muse Seb(x) and Boy King/Emperor Seb(x)
Let me know which you like best!!!
#oh my fucking god this was truly the endurance race of drawing sessions#i just drew for four hours straight or so......FUN!#and it is now almost 5 am on a school night so pls wish me luck in school haha#basically this spawned from me seeing if i could sketch all 3 of my Sebs easily and then whoops 4 hours later they are finished!#i think now i can draw the hussar uniform with my eyes closed. it was so comforting to draw honestly ;;;;#this is actually the first time ive drawn boy king seb with colors!! so i think it turned out pretty well?#hey guys do you notice what all of the Sebs have in common...? they all have a gold motif...GOLDEN BOY CODED!!!#anyways i think the most developed of these AUs is boy king seb which is funny bcs its the one ive created most recently#but gaahhhhhh ive done so much research and im literally brainrotting over it constantly#now i need to draw fernando in his 3 AUs hahaha but drwing Seb is sooooo much more easy/comfy for me#did you guys also notice i have a fondness for a specific seb hairstyle? malaysia 2010 my truly beloved youve served me so well#i mentioned this already but like i dont get how drawing these kinds of clothing is far more preferable to me than drawing racesuits#well anyways i have so much fun researching into these different eras!! and then very fun to mix it with the drivers#im very surprised i was able to draw this. im not usually able to draw good chibi anatomy#but like seriously i think i was posessed by my thoughts of boy king seb and i just couldnt stop drawing#in didnt really have any mental roadblocks which is surprising#but then again these drawings are me mixing my two major interests atm so ofc it'll come to me easily and make me passionate!!#anyways time to go sleep pwease dont let this flop my hands literally are overheated from drawing LMFAO#catie.art.#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 fanart#formula 1 art#formula 1 fanart#f1 art#boy king au#renaissance muse au#hussar au
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i will finish crime and punishment in three days with the power of,,, friendship??
#🍂 arian's shit#crime and punishment#fyodor dostoevsky#we are going to the library in wednesday and still have NOT finished the book at all.#i have had it for almost three weeks#and this is a book i have to finish too#my new friend recommended it to me.#and dostoevsky is just a guy i would like to read#please let me finish part two by today#not sleeping until i do that#and that tomorrow i will literally hide away my phone so i can actually focus and read part three and part four#can't read at lunch in monday because i will be playing garticphone but. hm. at home? get through a bit of part v ?#idk idk idk#wish me luck#to solidify my friendship !! read crime and punishment !! hell yeah russian emo boys who did a murder
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The venerable Tanta Olas
#love of my life#i wish we could have seen more of her#we didn’t even get to fight her 😔#(which i’m lowkey grateful for bc her powers are POGGERS)#i would not want to actually square up with tanta olas#would absolutely marry her tho#forspokenedit#forspoken#tanta olas#okay NOW i am going to sleep! ....i hope#wish me luck
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I'm not scared of having surgery and I'm not worried about any post-op pain. I already had this surgery and I'm already in pain and have been for the last decade. I'm scared because I found out the last ten years shouldn't have been full of so much physical pain. I'm scared that I'm going to go through all of this just to continue to be in pain.
Well-meaning people are nice when they show concern but it's always about the post-op pain. The worrying part is much more personal and in regards to pain I'll at least be able to rest. I'm overwhelmed.
#{domino rambles after dark}#was the first surgery still worth it even if it failed and resulted in the last decade? yes because i would have been paralyzed#but it was easier to accept being in pain when i thought “yeah i just have permanent nerve damage and degenerative disc disease”#now i'm just angry that no one fucking listened to me#and while i believe i have doctors that will actually monitor the success of this procedure...#i'm just nervous of how much post-op pain is going to be temporary and how much i'm actually going to live with for the rest of my life#it's a realistic concern and i have just two more days#my coworkers are planning to do something nice and people will be wishing me luck and all that#it's not really fair that they care about me and are actually thinking about me like wtf guys ;-; that's so nice#anyway i'm making this post because i can't stop thinking about this and i just want to sleep but the pain is a bit much#being basically offline by pure choice has been really nice though ngl#idk what it is but right now there's something emotionally taxing about scrolling tumblr or overwhelming maybe?#i'm going through another character development phase and if this surgery doesn't yeild good results then idfk honestly
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The difference between insomnia as a symptom and having a "decreased need for sleep" is that, while both results in you spending an ungodly amount of hours awake and not able to sleep, insomnia will result in a exhausted sleepy person while someone with a "decreased need for sleep" will not be sleepy or exhausted.
#rambles#tmi and bad decisions ahead#i have barely slept the past three nights#i can't fall asleep nor can i stay asleep#and while i can sense something is off enough with my body that it probably would be a good idea to get a full night's rest...#i am at regular functioning capacity#i'm not tired or sleepy... i don't need a nap#i am pretty much fine for the most part#which is even funnier considering that i am sick right now and that's when people feel exhausted the most#hypomania is a trip man#i'm beginning to think that certain games like instinctively triggers my hypomania#because this only started after i started playing graveyard keeper again...#games like that put me in this weird state of mind where i hyperfocus and obsess to the point that i can play for like the entire day#and this is coming from someone who usually does not play a single game for more than an hour at a time#so to go from one hour to like.... 8-10+ hours is rather concerning...#a part of me does wonder if it's actually hypomania or if i'm just physically weird#idk i don't think i've been displaying other hypomanic symptoms... at least i don't think so....#either way regardless my plan for this evening is to get drunk AND take one of my meds that causes drowsiness so i can hopefully sleep well#wish me luck! :)
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alright I’m gonna go and try and properly sleep in my bed tonight
#wish me luck because if I actually get to sleep for almost a full night I’m going to cry from happiness#may’s anxiety tag
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she’s beauty, she’s grace, her supervisor is gonna say “you’re fired” to her face.
#loool idk y'all it's nearly 2am#gotta go to bed#and by bed i mean lay down n prep for actual sleep#which takes aprox 2 hours#* thoughts with jay .#wish me luck tomorrowwwww <3
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so I figured our how to pull up all of the tmnt series/movies on my school laptop so it is now time to binge watch tmnt instead of sleeping
#lykaios thinks#teenage mutant ninja turtles#wish me luck#time to sleep even less than I already do#also I'm about to have a ton of inspo for fics#because I remembered people actually get inspo from songs#so now I'm going to do that too
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I'm finally taking a fucking vacation from my job next week
#I've never gotten the chance to use my vacation time at work before quitting#but Im not currently able to leave where I work and I'll lose my PTO on my anniversary date (sept 13th)#so I decided to say fuck it an use ut the first week of September#wish I could have saved it for the second week since my birthday is September 15th but again my PTO gets reset the 13th#so this will have to do#I'm not going on an actual vacation this year. just planning various enjoyable activities and day trips throughout the week#Im hoping on the first day to attend a local flea market#and the next day or two to go swimming before the pool in my apartment complex closes for the year#I also plan to visit a historical town thats about a half hour away from where I live#and I'm definitely going to sleep in a lot of these days cause I need to catch up on some sleep finally#I'll probably draw on my less busy days#and maybe I can knock out a chapter or 2 of the story I've been writing#tbh luck is never with me so the chances of me actually getting to do half of this stuff is slim#but at least I can say I have plans#I'm gonna try n do this stuff even if I have to go alone#I hate waiting around for others so I can go out and have a good time#like yeah some of these activities are better with other people#but people often find excuses to get out of hanging out or going places. or they're busy with work#and I don't want to waste the 7 days Im gonna have off so Im gonna try n do something meaningful during them#the weather also will effect how my plans turn out. I bet it'll rain the entire week lol. that'd be my luck#but Im still gonna try and have a decent time off#at the absolute least I am going to relax and unwind. thats the bare minimum I can doo#sam's rants about life
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HELLO GACHA
#if i don't get the card i'll go back to sleep and i'll also cry. also i'll hate himeru for the rest of my life#......actually ignore the last part i don't think i can do that fkshkfhd#ANYWAYS wish me luck i only have three 10 pulls :')
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made it to 2 am yayyyyy
#tomorrow I'll try to make it to 6. god im going to be so fucked up this week#I actually feel okay now that I've gotten my second wind#9-12 was the worst. sleepy and hungry.#gotta eat a good dinner#okay wish me luck in sleeping the full 8 hrs#cor.txt
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starting to believe the universe is trying v earnestly to get me to kay.emm.ess this year
#it's only the first month but the amount of emotional and mental turmoil i've already been subjected to is enough for a whole yr#i rly wish i had never seen that 2023 luck according to ur birthday post bcus now i actually believe it#whoever made that thing has a vendetta against feb birthdays and they actually cursed me#anyway i wanna |)1ミ but ig i'll go to sleep instead#del l8r
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When your brain decides 10 pm is the time to renovate the rest of the living room
#absolutely gonna sleep through my alarm in the morning#work who?#I actually enjoy doing things at night so much#the only thing that seriously sucks is that I have to tone the music down so my neighbours don't kill me#I'm gonna go for the ceiling now#wish me luck :)
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it's all fun and games until the sleep paralysis hits
#i'm fine and my eyes weren't open (can you imagine) but in the nightmare i was having i couldn't move and there were these alien possums all#over the campsite i was staying at in my dream and they were swarming me#so i was trying to call out for my mom but i couldn't actually scream bc i couldn't move so i was making this 'NNNGGG' sound in my dream#meanwhile in real life i was making that sound as loud as i could and the possums swarming me were actually athena running around the#bed confused as hell about the sounds i was making and my poor husband was trying to wake me up#it was like i was still asleep (dreaming) and my brain was aware that i couldn't move but not that i was sleeping (despite dreaming)#wild#i've had sleep paralysis before but i was awake enough to recognize what was happening#not this time ig#i am drenched in sweat after that holy moly#time to go back to sleep wish me luck ✌️
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