#lykaios thinks

[lykaiosthinks]

journal entry: day 15

halfway 💥

I’m feeling better finally.

Today seems like the first day since I’ve been back that I’ve been feeling okay. Tomorrow I should be able to get back to working on getting us out of here. Sitting around here doing nothing productive but answering the occasional question from Cleo or Jo makes me feel stupid. I guess that means I can still do something though, so it’s whatever.

It feels like we’ve made a lot of progress. We might be able to leave a few days early, if we keep this up. If we don’t find something to get around in, it would probably be better to leave early anyway. I quickly learned that the outer edge of the city is much more dangerous and unpredictable than previously thought.

I think it would be best for all of us to leave in a few days, and try to get everything else we need to leave.

How many times have I said something like that? I’m looking back at this journal, and I feel like I’m just repeating myself. I mean, it’s all I ever think about anymore. It’s all I can really afford to think about, given our situation. I was right about what I said the other day; we need to do something different. Just one day of something enjoyable. I’m not sure if Cleo and Jo feel the same way, but I might go insane if I don’t distract myself just a bit.

I guess I’ll ask them tomorrow.

[lykaios2]

Hello! Hope you don’t mind this is short-

Can you do mutant mayhem boy’s x scary reader BUT HAS A HUGE SOFT SPOT OF KIDS?

thank u

auGH im sorry this took so long and its kinda shit i think but im just gonna drop this here and run

hope you enjoy ❤️

Leo:

At first, Leo didn’t really want to associate with you

He was too afraid of your presence

He figured he’d just make his life easier and not hang around you

Whenever you walked by him, he would turn away

He knew that you weren’t a bully

His anxiety just couldn’t handle it

But his worst nightmare came true one day

Leo had run into a little kid and was helping him back up

You noticed him and walked over to help as well

As soon as he noticed you, he froze

You finished helping the kid and sent him on his way, before turning to Leo

You asked if something was wrong, before he snapped back

He started stuttering, trying to explain that nothing was wrong and he was just nervous

But of course you had to ask what he was nervous about

He tried to make up something, but eventually told the truth

You apologized for being so scary to him, and that you didn’t mean to be like that

You and him started talking, and he finally learned after all this time that you weren’t so mean after all

Raph:

Raph could not stand by you and just let you intimidate him like that

So he’d purposefully try and hang out around you to show you up

But being around someone all the time only makes you know them more

Raph often overheard your conversations with your friends

They weren’t of much interest to him, but he wasn’t doing much else other than standing around looking scary so he listened in anyway

He zoned out a lot, but when he heard squealing and giggling from somewhere nearby, he snapped back to reality

He whipped his head around to find out what was going on

Eventually he figured out it was coming from you

Curious, he walked over to see your friend showing you a picture of his new baby sister

He watched, a little confused as you gushed over how cute the baby was (he had to admit it was pretty adorable)

But he still never tried to stop showing you up

He just knew that you weren’t really so bad anymore

Mikey:

Mikey was a bit apprehensive towards you at first

He didn’t really know how to approach you

It didn’t help that you weren’t the most welcoming person

He really wanted to be friends with you

He thought you were cool and he knew you weren’t a terrible person

He had seen you with your friends before, so he just wanted to be like them

He needed to find something to relate to you about

One day he walked up to one of your friends and just asked what you liked

They said that he didn’t talk much about what he liked, but they did tell Mikey about how you had a fondness for kids

So the next day, while you were alone, he came up to you and struck up a conversation

He made a bit of small talk before bringing up a video compilation of babies that he said he found the other day

He played the video and you were immediately in love

He watched and laughed along with you as the video went on

He knew from then on that you two were probably gonna be good friends

Donnie:

Donnie didn’t care much about you

Not in the sense that he hated you

He just saw you as another person

He saw you at school and around the city

No more than acquaintances

One time when he was passing by in the park, he heard a bit of a commotion

He looked around to see what it was, and he happened to see your group of friends

Upon further inspection, he saw that they had stopped for you

He walked over and said hi, there was a few people that he knew there

But he was really surprised to see you

You had stopped in front of a mom and her kid

You were crouched down on the ground, talking to a little kid only a few years old

As you talked and played with the kid, Donnie just watched

He was captivated by your seemingly sudden change in personality

As he eventually walked away, he kept in his mind a changed view of you. One that was more friendly and welcoming

[lykaiosthinks]

some rise-themed minecraft banners I made

[lykaios2]

I open minecraft for the first time in months and this is my skin

[lykaiosthinks]

you're fighting the person with no time management and an incredible lack of motivation. give me a time and place. and i will be 30 minutes late

[lykaios2]

Could we pretty please have all of the turtles with a crush who closes themselves off?

Like- They know the feeling is mutual (they are aware that the reader feels the same way), but the reader is scared of relationships because of the past experiences they've had? So that causes them to kind of shut themselves off emotionally

yes you may! thank you for asking so nicely

THESE ARE THE RISE TURTLES BTW I ASKED BECAUSE IT WAS NOT SPECIFIED IN THE REQUEST

anyway I loved these, writing for the rise boys always hits different (probably something to do with the fact that rise was my introduction back into the tmnt community but whatever) I LOVE THEM SM (mikey my beloved 🧡)

I'll stop ranting now

here you go, hope you enjoy! ❤

Leo:

In the beginning, Leo liked to flirt with you a lot

It was simply his way of showing he liked you, and asking if you returned his feelings without directly asking you

Leo being Leo, you could never tell if he was being genuine or not

But he started to notice that his flirting made you uncomfortable

So one day he found you while you were alone

He sat down next you and asked if you didn’t like his flirting

He explained that he flirted with you because he did actually like you, not as a joke

You replied yes and no, to which he was confused

You admitted to returning his feelings, but then you told him about your bad experiences in the past

Which was the reason for your hesitation

He was very understanding, and listened to the whole thing

He said he was glad you liked him back, but he would lay back on the flirting until you were ready

But you told him that the flirting was okay, now that you knew he liked you back

Raph:

When Raph started to have feelings for you, he starts to do more things for you

 Everything from handing you things to going out his way to getting stuff you liked when he went to the store

You appreciated it, but it also made you feel nervous

Why was he doing it? Did he want something in return? What did he want?

Because of this, whenever he did something for you, your reaction usually came off as a little anxious and rigid

He was confused at your reactions, and a little upset as well

He asked one day if you didn’t like the acts of service, and you told him it made you feel guilty

He could immediately feel his heart sink

He never meant to make you feel that way

He started asking what he could do to fix it

You told him it wasn’t his fault, it was yours

Then you explained to him your past experiences with relationships and how you liked him, so you thought he was taking advantage of you 

He said that he would never do that, and that he genuinely cared for you

He also said he would understand if you didn’t trust him, and that if you didn’t, he would do anything to earn it

Because he liked you a lot, and would indeed do anything for you

Mikey:

Mikey was always naturally affectionate with his family and friends, and you were no different

While you did have a crush on him, his constant affection made it feel like he was guilting you into being in a relationship with him

Whenever he ran to give you a hug, you kinda froze out of fear and anxiety

He caught on pretty quickly

So one time when you came over, he instead walked up and said hello

Which only freaked you out even more

It was almost like he expected you to hug him back, like you owed him one

He could see the discomfort on your face, so he asked what was wrong

You said nothing, but after he stared at you with a face that told you he saw through your lies, you told him everything

All about how you liked him, but his affection made you feel guilty

After you were done, he started profusely apologizing

He never meant to make you feel that way

He only did it because he cared for you…a lot

He asked if you wanted to be in a relationship right now or wait

But after you learned his true intentions, you told him you were a lot more comfortable with him now

Donnie:

Donnie didn’t really know how to act around you at first

He’s never had a crush before

And he also heard from Leo that you liked him back

So now whenever you were around, he was always a little nervous

He started acting a lot nicer around you

And just spending more time with you in general

You were scared because you had started to like him too

And it made you wonder if he had out and was trying to manipulate you because of it

So the tables were turned, now you were often the one to walk away from him

He was concerned because he now wondered if he was being too obvious

Eventually, Mikey helped him build up the courage to talk to you

He asked if you were okay and if anything was wrong

You said no, but he asked again, unsure if you were telling the truth

The silence was awkward, before he started talking again

He apologized for acting weird around you and said it was only because he liked you

You accepted his apology, and told him that it was okay because you liked him back too

You explained you were scared because of past experiences, and he understood

He asked if you'd be willing to start out slow to get used to it again, to which you gladly agreed

[lykaiosthinks]

new series, journal entries from V's pov pre-roadtrip arc and post-broadcast arc

Day 1:

4:32 - Radio broadcast finished

4:51 - Started prioritizing materials

5:05 - Consolidating stuff

Well, Cleo asked what I was doing, then pointed out that it wouldn’t be much help to whoever read this if it was just a time log, so I guess it’s a journal now.

I guess I should probably explain what happened. That broadcast was the first thing we ever heard from anyone outside of the city after the fallout. Coincidentally, it was also the last thing we heard from anyone while we were inside the city. Reason being that the broadcast was basically our 30 day timer to get out. They were dropping a bomb on the city in an attempt to clear out the infection. I guess that probably means our city was a hotspot, which means that if you’re reading this you’re far enough into the future when this city is finally hospitable again. Or you’re just some insane adrenaline junkie who decided to journey far and long enough to somehow find this. (If that’s the case, please leave this for someone who needs it. You clearly don’t.)

Anyway, I guess this is just a record of what we’re doing, but we haven’t done much yet. Cleo and Jo were quite taken aback at the news, which is understandable. I suppose I’m just numb to everything around me at this point. It took a while for them to calm down and rationalize that we had plenty of time to figure things out. The first thing we did was figure out what we were gonna need to leave this place. Food and water was a must, but the problem was how much? I wasn't sure how soon it would be before we could find another sustainable source of food. I decided that we would bring as much as we could, and dump some if we needed something else. I guess I don’t really need food as much, but honestly what I need is probably more scarce.

I guess I should also introduce myself. I’ve been going by V, for fear of not wanting to reveal my full name. I guess it doesn’t matter so much now that I know Cleo and Jo better, but I see no reason to change anything. Cleo is the youngest of us, and she lost her sister soon after the fallout happened. She’s been looking for her ever since, and the news of the bomb hit the hardest for her. She still believes her sister is okay, but there’s been no evidence of her life or her death, so it’s hard to say. Jo is a little older than Cleo, and they get along very well. A little too well at times, honestly. They can cause more trouble than the infection itself, if given enough time. I think I’m older than Jo, but my memory’s really been going since the initial breakout. I suppose I should mention that Jo and I are both technically infected, but I managed to throw some sort of antidote together. It doesn’t really fix the problem entirely but it keeps it from getting worse, which is what matters. I didn’t really care too much about my wellbeing before Jo and Cleo came around, so I’m basically surviving entirely off of pills and such. That’s my theory as to why my memory is going; whatever is keeping me alive and functioning certainly isn’t normal.

Anyway, the rest of the day was spent packing things up and deciding what would be good to take and leave. I insisted that any personal belongings should be kept to a minimum, but Cleo and Jo claimed there were things that had to be taken with them. I figured it was fine as long as I wouldn’t be carrying anything, which they said wouldn’t be a problem. I suppose this is all we’re going to be doing for the next month, so I should probably get used to it.

I need sleep. Any rest I can get will be crucial to our plans. I should have been asleep a while ago, but I forgot about this journal thing. No wonder, but maybe writing this stuff down would help me remember. Maybe this will all be useless. I’ll forget about it again, maybe. Leave it somewhere no one will find it. I’m not really sure what’s worth my time anymore.

This isn’t good, is it?

[lykaios2]

because I forgot to post today

[lykaiosthinks]

journal entry: day 17

Well, our peace didn’t last long.

To everyone’s horror, I woke up this morning with something leaking from my mouth. Honestly, I would have preferred it if it was red, but I was soon informed that whatever was dripping from my mouth was pitch black. Not sure how I didn’t notice, but that’s not important. After wiping my face and confirming that something was indeed wrong, I immediately started running through any potential causes in my head. I didn’t have to run very far; I quickly came to the conclusion that something more was going on with my injury. A shame too, today was supposed to be the day that I was finally let free from couch time.

After further investigation, I discovered that this new problem originated from somewhere around my stomach. That further investigation being me coughing and a bit more of that black liquid coming out. That’s also about where I was hit by the infected, so it made the most sense to me. My skin wasn’t showing any strange symptoms; all coloration was normal. That likely meant whatever it was had already seeped inside.

I wanted to cut myself up and take a quick look inside, but by the time I realized how long it would have taken it was already pretty late. Cleo and Jo were also a bit hesitant about it. I’ll probably try something tomorrow, but they at least want to supervise if anything goes wrong. That’s fine by me, but it’s not my fault if they get queasy.

Whatever’s going on, I pray that it won’t take up too much of our time.

[lykaios2]

little micheal and jello study to signify my return into my creative rut (it was started by unfortunate circumstances

[lykaiosthinks]

journal entry: day 9

I don’t like it here anymore.

This place is bad. Walking through the city normally doesn’t cause me this much stress, but the level of anxiety that I feel just standing in the street is beyond anything I’d usually experience. I haven’t seen any infected today but the further I travel into the city, the worse it gets. I’m not sure how we’re going to make it out of here without any trouble. I mean, I’d figured we’d run into something on the way out, but it might be worse than I expected.

I’ve found almost enough things to fill my bag, but I found a smaller satchel to bring with me. My plan is to finish filling the first bag, then find something to get around this city in. I’d rather find a car then another day’s worth of materials. It’s possible that I’m not going to find anything, so it could be a waste of time. But I’m weighing my benefits, and making my decisions.

I haven’t found any more evidence of anyone around here, which is both good and bad. I’d rather not deal with anything else than what I know is around here. But I could imagine it might be comforting for Cleo and Jo to see someone else here.

I wonder if they’re doing okay without me. I trust in them, but they were obviously worried when I left. I suppose I’ll see them soon enough, but I could imagine that it might feel like a lifetime for them. Sleep well only bring me closer to them, though.

[lykaios2]

a friend of mine was talking to someone else and they got called a "[my name] kinnie" because my friend said they liked tmnt

my influence has been spread

I've gotta say that there is no better achievement as a neurodivergent person than hyperfixating on a character for so long that you are known as "the 'insert character name here' person"

[lykaios2]

my life is now complete. TMNT commemorative manhole visited. fear me

[lykaiosthinks]

journal entry: day 4

I decided to join Cleo and Jo on their outing today. I can’t tell if it’s been too long since I’ve ventured out, or if the outside world has changed. Something feels off.

Maybe I was just too tense. This whole situation has me worried. I feel so responsible for Cleo and Jo. I was the one who took them in and cared for them, but I feel like I’ve been so negligent as of late. I think it’s because I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have so little to lose. I’ve become careless, but in the process I’ve forgotten that Cleo and Jo still have a purpose. They have a plan, something they want to do after everything is resolved. I’ve always thought that everyone I knew had long forgotten about me. I can’t focus on that now, though. I still need to focus on getting out of here.

Unfortunately, we haven’t found much yet. Resources have become scarce around here, so we need to go farther and farther out to find anything new. We might need to start cutting down on rations for the next while to stockpile more food and water. I can’t think of any other options, other than leaving now and taking what little we have with us in an attempt to make a living outside of the city. Neither option is ideal, but it all comes down to picking your poison, I guess.

I might go out for a few days’ time at some point. See how far I can go and how much stuff I can bring back. It’s a long shot, and I would hate to leave Cleo and Jo alone here, but it’s not the worst idea I’ve had. It’s hard to think right now, and there’s so much on the line. I’ll decide tomorrow.

[lykaios2]

spirit halloween is quite the place

[lykaios2]

last time I checked I was not an online predator

I love mutuals tho 🧡

I have too many and I don't like tagging people on mobile (my phone is lagging from the sheer size of this post) but if you see this and you're a mutual of mine

many loves

Dear friends of Tumblr,

Today at my school we had an assembly about internet predators and when I had said that most of my true friends are over the internet and they gave me a lecture about how “I don’t know who I’m talking to” blah blah. So please, if you aren’t a predator in any way, please reblog so i can prove a point.